Mumsnet Talk

DH has a blue badge, (and higher rate mobility), he can walk short distances wearing splints and having to take strong (prescribed) painkillers for the pain. He falls over and stumbles.

He took DD to her swimming lesson yesterday, and came home saying some old lady in the car park had said something to him about parking in the disabled bay.
I thought, well that happens a lot. And dismissed it.

This morning he took DD swimming, well I dropped him off then went to petshop to get dog food (parked in normal bays at pet shop, like normal).
Went back to pick up DH. Pulled into disabled bay and before i'd had a chance to switch the engine off, And a lady( 65-75 I'd guess) came up to the car, knocked on the window and demanded to know whether I had a blue badge, which I pointed out to her, she then told me the disabled person had to be in the car to use it. I said I was picking my husband up. And she started getting all huffy with me.
DH was, whilst this was going on, walking to car from building.

I honestly don't understand what this lady's problem was. The badge was used for the benefit of my DH. To pick him up.

I never use the blue badge for myself. I understand it usage. DH would gladly give up his badge if his condition could be "cured".

Why do some people have to be like this?

Because some people are arseholes. Alas this isn't confined to the young, and some elderly people are really huffy

It just makes me sad, I'm not even angry about it (it happens a lot), and this lady was in the car park before us so didn't have/use a blue badge.
It's sad that she doesn't understand that we'd give up the badge in an instant if DH didn't need it.
Think compassion/empathy should be bottled so we could spray it at people.

Because there is so little going on in her life that she has to invent dramas in order to amuse herself.

Thank fuck they don't give blue badges to the hard of thinking!

I'd like a stupidity spray actually - would frequently be useful for me when people feel the need to say shit about my arm.

DH got a walking stick this morning - I can see that its going to cause comments too. But he's good at the comebacks where I just seethe

"Was that as rude in your head as it was in my ears?"

"I take it your brain to mouth interface hasn't been activated today"

"Would you like some help getting that foot out of your mouth, or are you comfortable as you are?"

If your disability was acquired "I'm forever grateful that I didn't lose my manners in the accident"

All accompanied by a look

It's not just us then. That's both reassuring and disturbing.

DH has a progressive condition. (he's 33), has a stick, but prefers to use dd2's buggy as there's more stability.

Liking the comebacks, "was that as rude in your head as it was in my ears" and brain to mouth interface one are definitely going to be used.

God what is that matter with people! That makes me so mad!

I had a young boy who was sat waiting in a car in the adjacent disabled spot shout at me whilst I was pulling up "You do know this is a disabled space don't you?!" He hadn't even seen me get out the car (I could have been dependent on a wheelchair or walking aid), but obviously his idea of someone who would need a badge would look old . I just replied very calmly "Yes I know" and he didn't say anything else, even though I look like I am perfectly healthy, I struggle with long distances and am in constant pain. I know it's not the worse thing ever to have happened but I just didn't need somebody shouting and drawing attention when I already feel a bit self conscious about needing to have a badge.

It's horrid when it happens - it's happened to me too. However, I've seen so many people who appear to be abusing their badges that I'm not surprised that people do 'have a go'.

I think that there really does need to be more of a clampdown on those who do abuse the badge. I have never been asked by a warden to prove I am who I am and I would be more than happy to if it stopped these other people.

I get this then love watching Their faces go red as someone lifts my chair out do I can transfer and I say pardon what was you asking

<sparkles waves to THC >

The problem is it is impossible to prove who is abusing their badge just by looking at them. Some severely autistic children may have a badge for instance. I would always be happy to be challenged to show my ds's and show my ds (if you know what I mean) but on some days even his disability is more visible than on others, the thing is his pain levels are unpredictable. The only way you can ever say someone is abusing it, if it is being used someone other than the intended, or if the badge holder parks in a disabled space for a rest and have no intention of getting out, which happened to me the other day....and given ds was in absolute agony I was not best pleased with them. As with everything common sense, and social responsibility is what is needed...........anyone got any to spare there are some needy people out there who need a swift kick up the backside some!

Happens to me to. Unfortunately I'm also afflicted by total contraryness. I refuse to even acknowledge the existence of interferring members of the public who challenge me. Seems to make them complete irate, but I can't help it. Honest, I can't.

Some people are incredibly ignorant. I read on a thread lately that someone scratched someone's car because they didn't look disabled enough

Makes me so sad tbh, but yes I've had it too. Klad seems to me you handle it the best way really.

"Fuck off" says it all in my opinion. Why the hell should you waste your precious time justifying yourself to some ignorant busybody. Don't let it get to you.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. To look at me I'm a picture of health, but underneath it all I have poor strength, limited mobility, very poor lung function and chronic pain! I've been verbally abused numerous times when using my blue badge which is really upsetting as without it I would not be able to carry on working and would probably never go anywhere. I used to just drive off and cry, but I'm slowly learning to stand up to the idiots!

I get this too, but as THC said, it does make me smirk at their reaction when OH hops out the passenger seat and sorts out wheelie for me to transfer. Still amazes me though how many people think you must look disabled to be disabled.

Hahaha oh god, I so have had this since I was a teen and driving. Haha old people are the worst!

Just ignore it, your husband will keep getting that, both my hubby and I are disabled and we see the old biddies glaring as we pull up into a bay.

One came up to me when I was 17 and said these bays aren't for you, I said "no they aren't for old fools, they are for people like me who have replaced joints and a lot of pain!" That shut him up!

I have zero tollerance for stupid people. These people are just stupid, don't worry about it. Also you are perfectly entitled to use the blue badge if you are doing something for a disabled person such as picking him up.

On the other hand I am young, I am in huge amounts of pain, without the car I would be housebound as would my baby and husband. We can just manage to get around Tescos without actually throwing up because of pain or extra morphine we have had to take to be able to get around Tescos. It does upset me when those who can nip in and out park in blue badge bays. So in my older age I have become more tolerant, thanked the person for asking but told him or her that I am ill and as soon as 4ft 11 of me, size nothing and wonky arms and legs gets out of the car they turn their frown into gormless mouth open stare and say sorry a zillion times!

Seriously laugh it off, it will happen loads.

x

i'm currently in the process of applying for a blue badge, but on the rare occasions i do go out by myself with my lo, i've been relying on the parent & child spaces so far. the other day i was behind a car that parked in the last parent & child space available, typical i thought. i pulled over to wait for a space to cecome free & saw the driver get out of his car. he was a man about my dad's age in his 70's & he hopped out of the car quicker & easier than i could & into tesco! well when i finally did get a space & i walked past his car, he had a blue badge!

i mean why take the last parent & child space, when there were about 6 + disabled spaces available?!

my father in law was given a blue badge years ago & he is fitter & more mobile than me - do old people get them automatically? there was also this old man in a pub we went to to meet friends the other day, i asked him if i could use one of the 2 extra chairs he had free round his table (i can't stand for more than a few mins) & he said no i want them left there!! my husband asked the staff to find me a seat & they had to carry one in when this old bloke sat there, on his own the entire time i might add, with 2 free seats at the table right next to us!

grrrr sorry rant over!

Arrrrgh yet again I got abused when using my blue badge at Sainsburys. Got out of the car and an elderly couple made a huge point of checking my window for a badge and then commenting loudly 'she's pregnant, not disabled, she shouldn't be parking there'. I wanted to scream 'I'M PREGNANT AND DISABLED YOU F***ERS, WHICH MAKES EVERYTHING 100 TIMES MORE DIFFICULT' but by the time I had caught my breath enough to speak, they had waltzed quickly off whilst I was struggling to get my walking stick out of the car. Clearly I look to young and healthy to have anything wrong with me even though I feel like c**p!!!!!!!

that sucks, poor you, who do they think they are the blue badge checking brigade!! i have all this to come if i hopefully get mine soon... mind you i take so long to get out the car & am so stiff & hunched they may get the message, or they may accuse me of putting it on because i'm young!!

Poor you Flower. Other than that how are you getting on - you can't have long now?

Hi PigeonPie. I'm doing ok thanks.....the baby is due on Thursday so could happen at any time now! Am spending lots of time at home relaxing as I'm a bit unsteady on my feet, but otherwise feeling fairly good. Just hoping I don't go too overdue as I really don't want to be induced. Am downloading music to listen to in labour at the moment!!!!

Wow, that's really good news that you're almost there - I'm so pleased for you. I hope you don't go too overdue too; I was very lucky with both of mine as they appeared a day early so never had that long wait. Will be thinking of you over the next few days.

beabea, he might be mobile but get an angina attack after walking a short distance, you just don't know. We have one and my DD can run, which attracts all sorts of dirty looks but she has it due to severe learning difficulties and no sense of danger. They aren't that easy to get, as you know, and of course you "don't just get them for being old" so I wouldn't be quick to judge.