Excuses for not cutting the grass.

(37 Posts)
madas Sat 04-Aug-12 09:51:56

It seems like only yesterday i cut the bloody grass and now it neeeds doing again. How do i side step this odious task and avoid the wrath of she who must be obeyed.

GaryTankCommander Sat 04-Aug-12 09:54:01

My DH always manages with 'I'll do it this afternoon' and then by some freak or nature (either that or he is Thor), it then always bloody rains.

madas Sat 04-Aug-12 09:55:26

My excuse window will not get that far.

4LoathesomeBrats Sat 04-Aug-12 09:55:45

Just do it every Saturday morning at 8am, March-October. I find men can only get stuff done if it's completely routine.

colditz Sat 04-Aug-12 09:55:50

Surreptitiously wiggle a cotton bud up your nose, and develope sneezing fits. You cannot possibly be asked to mow the grass if you have hay fever.

madas Sat 04-Aug-12 09:58:21

The hayfever one maybe a goer, (frantically rubs eyes)

DawnOfTheDee Sat 04-Aug-12 09:59:09

Pretend to have discovered a rare colony of plants &/or insects on your lawn. Pick up phone....ring the speaking clock or something and have a conversation with the 'environment agency' confirming that it is illegal to disturb said colony. For added authenticity make up a latin sounding name.

madas Sat 04-Aug-12 10:00:14

4 ido have a saturday morning routine, if im not at work i sleep till 9 lazy git i know smile

madas Sat 04-Aug-12 10:03:03

I fear my time is running out she who must be obeyed is on her way back from the mil as we speak. I fear this is another battle lost by me. Onwards and upwards and thanks for your efforts.

JennerOSity Sat 04-Aug-12 10:03:08

You are resting the grass as constant cutting weakens it and causes bald patches this should be done OOooo every other month.

Hmmm second thoughts, you will get asked to apply lawn feed and aeriate it if you do that.

pictish Sat 04-Aug-12 10:05:36

Just cut the grass. It'll look great when it's done, and you can claim afternoon rights as your reward.
Compromise my friend.

DawnOfTheDee Sat 04-Aug-12 10:05:52

Maybe your lawnmower is broken....? wink

cerealqueen Sat 04-Aug-12 21:58:39

Ask your wife to do it for a change? Really, I enjoy cutting the grass, makes a change from all the other repetitive boring tasks I have to do!!! Rota ALL the tedious weekend tasks?

joanofarchitrave Sat 04-Aug-12 22:00:07

8am?? Hope your neighbours are tolerant. I would quite liderally mow the head of anyone who ran a lawnmower at that time on a weekend.

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 04-Aug-12 23:41:58

The answer is DPM and shale.

germyrabbit Sat 04-Aug-12 23:42:52

hedgehogs hibernating

Because you are watching the Olympics of course!

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sat 04-Aug-12 23:45:21

Tell her to do it herself?

confused

Is there a job she's putting off which you could do?

omfgkillmenow Sat 04-Aug-12 23:49:49

tell her you are afraid of frogs. There was a thread on here about a lady getting frog guts in her face when the lawn mower ran one over. If you have a few quid get a local teen to do it for pocket money.

omfgkillmenow Sat 04-Aug-12 23:52:01

or get a goat to eat your grass

madas Sun 05-Aug-12 11:29:22

The deed was done front and rear lawns, edged as well. As for my dp doing them this is one of our trade offs. I hate ironing and she hates gardening.

Happylander Sun 05-Aug-12 22:25:57

I hate ironing and I hate mowing the lawn. Ex left and he used to do both it's the only thing I miss about him...

I mowed the lawn today as I couldn't think of a decent enough excuse to say to myself grin

ThatBlokeCalledSteve Mon 06-Aug-12 15:41:31

Should have just said the lawnmower was broken....

Childrenofthestones Wed 22-Aug-12 20:43:40

Fake hay fever. Grass pollen is awful for sufferers.
Google the symptoms

TheCloudGuy Sat 25-Aug-12 16:14:11

Got any older children (your own or "borrowed") who would benefit the responsibility of cutting the grass? Or a neighbour who likes gardening.

I always set my mower to the longest setting. It is better for the grass and you can probably get away without cutting it for two or three weeks. :-)

FasterHigherBeardierDaddyman Sat 25-Aug-12 16:20:05

Have you considered napalm?

nickelcognito Sat 25-Aug-12 16:21:08

DH uses "I used to have time to mow the grass, now we've got a baby, I never have time"
wink

madas Sat 25-Aug-12 17:45:46

Pulled onto the drive having just got back from our holiday, first words she uttered "the grass needs a trim" i kid you not smile

TiggyD Sun 26-Aug-12 19:43:22

Just say "Men's trouble" and leave it at that.

mistlethrush Sun 26-Aug-12 19:48:24

DH uses the excuse that he's allergic to grass. He will start it for me on occasions though.

Pascha Sun 26-Aug-12 19:50:13

DH blew up the mower last weekend. Cost him £200 and he still didn't get out of it.

whatisallthefussabout Fri 14-Sep-12 21:40:33

get a goat :-)

Sam100 Fri 14-Sep-12 22:19:37

Cut the grass, take a photo from each window, have said photos printed out on life size paper, stick these to the windows, don't let your wife leave the house. This should buy you a few weeks! wink. May not work if the photos were taken on a sunny day and weather reports are all about torrential rain.

Balderdashandpiffle Sun 16-Sep-12 07:32:15

'She who must be obeyed'!!
You could always grow a pair?

If you don't want to do it, don't do it.
Get a gardener in, swap roles, slab it.

Balderdashandpiffle Sun 16-Sep-12 09:24:55

Or just get on with it.

You're not being asked to paint the Sistine Chapel.

madas Mon 17-Sep-12 15:39:42

Guess what? Its cut the bloody grass time again sad I have been sitting waiting for it to rain but no it just wants to be dull.

oscarwilde Wed 26-Sep-12 16:30:35

Buy her a spa weekend and astroturf it when she's away?
Seriously - life is too short - can't you find a local teenager and give him £5 a week to run the mower around or have you got acres to cut?

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