Sexual technics

(235 Posts)
EvansMr Sun 15-Jun-08 20:43:51

share your sexual secrets
I lay her on her back with me on my side and flick the bean while goin at it like a jack hammer
seems to work every time

is there any technics you would like to share?

RedGreenBlue Tue 10-May-11 18:57:34

To be fair to the lad, it seems a pretty sensible technique.

Slightly odd that he calls his laptop "her", but at least he's not going to drop it halfway through and damage it. He's clearly learnt that balancing it on his knees while locked in the bog is a recipe for disaster.

Safety first - good work.

grin

TettyLouBar Sun 18-Sep-11 08:21:18

Bump, just because more mumsnetters should read this...

GiveMeSomeSpace Sun 18-Sep-11 09:26:17

Stop! Will this thread never die?? Having said that, it's always good for a giggle.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Tue 27-Sep-11 14:59:27

I have been a member for a long time. Today I opened this and had a good laugh.
Ver very glad I am not Evans Mrs having my bean flicked. It must hurt, a bit.

Esian Wed 28-Sep-11 23:13:30

Why is this thread not in Classics? I've pulled a muscle in my bean laughing so much I think grin

Jackin Mon 03-Oct-11 19:48:01

He he he

MNHQ - can this go in Classics? It deserves to be there.

MrGin Thu 09-Aug-12 15:07:41

I think preparation is the key.

I usually keep a few pounds of lard, a pair of marigolds, a bit of garden twine, and two industrial size baked bean tins handy for sexy times.

The lard helps with friction burns and keeps you warm when 'al fresco' , I like the marigolds as they stop my hands going wrinkly with all the bean flicking ( they can also double up as emergency multi use condoms if you run out ) and the beans are of course for flicking around the boudoir.

An important tip I've gleaned from MN is that nothing gets ladies in the mood more than their partner doing some housework, so I tend to forgo the usual 'dirty talk' and whisper phrases such as ' I took the bins out this morning', ' ooh I think the hoover bag needs changing', or 'I've folded all the clean sheets into kitten shapes'.

I also like to leave a copy of 50 Shades of Grey casually laying around with the garden twine in case the lucky lady is interested in giving me a damn good spanking.

grin

TorchlightMcKenzie Thu 09-Aug-12 15:09:39

Yes please to classics!

yellowraincoat Thu 09-Aug-12 15:11:30

I find that manipulating your partner's erogenous zones and they yours until both of you achieve full satisfaction pretty much does it for us.

Somebloke Fri 10-Aug-12 20:52:38

FFS, will this thread never die?

Lucyellensmum99 Fri 10-Aug-12 21:01:34

vorsprung durch technic?

Lucyellensmum99 Fri 10-Aug-12 21:05:23

Oh dear god - i have just skimmed through this zombie thread and realise that i have posted on it blush a serious bean flicking instructive post - oh god, the embarrasment

Yogagirl17 Fri 10-Aug-12 22:00:44

Haven't laughed so hard in ages - i needed that!

beujolais Tue 11-Sep-12 10:25:28

Thanks for giving me a damn good laugh guys!http://www.mumsnet.com/emo/te/1.gif

beujolais Tue 11-Sep-12 10:26:47

Thanks for giving me a damn good laugh guys!

BoysBoysBoysAndMe Tue 11-Sep-12 16:09:56

Wow

Christian Grey is such an amateur compared to EvansMr!!

grin

MonaLotte Tue 11-Sep-12 16:21:47
MonaLotte Tue 11-Sep-12 16:22:54

So proud that Lego porn is now in search history...

beujolais Wed 12-Sep-12 10:07:59

Ha, what a hilarious picture. i'll always be wondering what's going on inside my sons lego millennium falcon overnight now, lego manage a trois between chewy, han and leia.

Are you from Hull?

AnyFucker Thu 11-Apr-13 07:27:52

yay!

sexual technics thread resurrected !

TanteRose Thu 11-Apr-13 07:32:37

bloody hell, this was FIVE years ago shock

only seems like yesterday...
wonder what young MrEvans is up to these days

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