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How do you men feel about the man-bashing that goes on here?

80 replies

Twinklemegan · 04/07/2007 00:19

It pisses me off, and I'm a woman.

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Pan · 04/07/2007 00:24

Let it go usually..."why do men...?"..."but men just can't"...what is usually meant is 'their' dh/p can't or won't do whatever...but it's a largely female site..and there are lots of times when I witness my gender not at it's best.........

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zippit · 04/07/2007 05:38

it depends whether you are talking about men's inability to find something in the house or in the relationship...I think in the former it is pretty harmless but in the latter there is simetimes room to try adn empathise more with the man rather than villify him

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Twinklemegan · 04/07/2007 11:09

Was referring to absent fathers really.

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aDad · 04/07/2007 11:21

I agree with Pan. It is a site populated mainly by women, and among other things a place to let off steam, so it's inevitably going to happen.

Doesn't usually bother me.

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Twinklemegan · 04/07/2007 11:34

OK, that's good then. Perhaps I'm too sensitive (my DH being an "absent" father but also a wonderful "at home" father to my DS).

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satyricon · 04/07/2007 12:24

I haven't been on here long, so I haven't seen as much of it as some of you guys. But hey, everyone needs a place to vent.

Perhaps it's incumbent on the men on this site to demonstrate - through their infinite patience, wry good humour and self-deprecation - that there are indeed some of us out there that are worth the effort.

There are nearly 3 billion of us... we can't all be bad, right?

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UnquietDad · 04/07/2007 13:17

It probably bothers me more than it should. First because of the generalisation that Pan mentions, and secondly because of the lack of thinking-through that goes on.

Yes, there are some blokes who are lazy arses, but I bet a lot of those who get "bashed" on here are simply men trying to do their best, who HAVE to spend ridiculous hours in the office to guaranteee the salary - and hence lifestyle - that DW takes for granted now.

I asked a question here a few months ago about how many people would love their DHs to spend 20% less time in the office. Some interesting answers. I then lobbed in the condition that it had to be with a 20% pay cut. Even more interesting answers.

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amen · 04/07/2007 13:46

i think it's pathetic, not in that it bothers me, but in the hypocritical nature of the women who do it. the same women who bang on about equality,feminism and women being treated like pieces of meat are the same ones drooling over brad pitt and bitching about who's a slut on big brother.also if a man makes any sort of generalistation about women you would swear it was the end of the world and civiliasation as we know it. so the man bashing in itself does not bother me as i am a man so i have a sense of humour, the moral high horse attitude of those doing it who can dish it out but not take it does.

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meandmyflyingmachine · 04/07/2007 13:53

Yes. Clearly doesn't bother you at all

Speaking as a woman, some threads make me weak with gratitude for my dh, and others make me think that dh should be weak with gratitude for me. There are some high maintenance men and women out there!

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amen · 04/07/2007 13:57

"Yes. Clearly doesn't bother you at all "

but thats my point.actual the actual men bashiong is fine by me i can take it as a joke. it's like having a mate who rips the piss out of you/everyone all the time but if anyone says something back they get in a strop. it's not the fact that he's ripping the piss out of you that annoys you as it's normally funny, it's the fact that they cant take it back. same way it is unfortunately with most women. they expect men to sit their and silently take jokes/insults about men but god help you if you insult women. they have it so hard with sexism/periods/pregnancies blah blah blah.

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meandmyflyingmachine · 04/07/2007 14:01


Blimey!
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CaptainCasual · 04/07/2007 14:02

I think that this site works for women because you like and possibly need to vent your views and frustrations. Guys generally aren't that interested in that kind of thing as you can see by the subjects covered in The Men's Room.

There are a lot of guys out there that are gits. At times the best of us are inconsiderate but that goes for women as well as men, just that most men are not that bothered or at the other end of the scale know that you just don't understand that we tried our best.

It might be a communication thing or just that women don't know what it is like to be a guy and we will never know what it is like to be a women.

I for one do not take it personally because you are not talking about me, unless it is my DW doing the bashing? I do feel for the women who have crap relationships and I hope that they benefit from the advice and support that is offered though this site. It gives a lot more support than I ever got while in my crap relationships, not that I would take any advice anyway, I am a man after all.

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Rhubarb · 04/07/2007 14:04

I love a bit of man-bashing! There really should be more. The only difficult is choosing an appropriate weapon to bash them with really isn't it?

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UnquietDad · 04/07/2007 14:16

"I love a bit of woman-bashing! There really should be more. The only difficulty is choosing an appropriate weapon to bash them with really isn't it?"

Imagine if I'd really said the above - even as a joke!!

The Men's Room never has any "My Wife is A Lazy Bitch" threads or "DW is a cow" or "DW should get off her lazy arse." I wonder why?

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Rhubarb · 04/07/2007 14:18

Have you been on any Men Forums UQD? And no, The Men's Room on Mumsnet does not count!

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UnquietDad · 04/07/2007 14:19

I tried some but they were a bit boring to be honest. Lots of stuff about golf and cars. (I'm not counting Fathers for Justice as I'm sure there's a lot of seething resentment there.)

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satyricon · 04/07/2007 14:21

I am fanitly relieved that Rhubarb seems to be as aggressive with everyone as she was with me yesterday.

May I recommend a nice cup of tea? Usually makes me feel much fluffier and more amenable to others.

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Rhubarb · 04/07/2007 14:21

Well I apologise for my ill-conceived comments, but a lot of Men's Forums do have stuff slating their womenfolk.

However that is human nature. When you get a group of women together, they moan about me, when you get a group of men together they moan about women.

Calling it "bashing" is a bit extreme. I've not seen any of that going on.

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Rhubarb · 04/07/2007 14:22

Oh hello Satyricon - did you answer any of the concerns myself and others raised as regards your choice of posting name and others?

Or are you more than happy with your new-found women friends?

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FioFio · 04/07/2007 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad · 04/07/2007 14:26

"When you get a group of women together, they moan about men, when you get a group of men together they moan about women."

In my experience that isn't the case. We spend more time talking about a)TV shows and books, b)sports and c)women we fancy... sticking the knife into our WAGs just isn't on the agenda. It would actually be really bad form to do that among the groups I go out with. Are we untypical?...

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chevre · 04/07/2007 14:27

of course you are untypical you are mumsnet.

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UnquietDad · 04/07/2007 14:28

No, I mean me and my REAL-LIFE friends.

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macdoodle · 04/07/2007 14:29

Maybe men makes worse husbands than women makes wives

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DaddyJ · 04/07/2007 14:29

If there was a genuine anti-men atmosphere on MN
then surely us lot would not bother/dare post.

Everything gets a good bashing here:

HVs, MILs, SILs, Nestle, the OW (aka slags),
certain types of food, certain child rearing
practices, Nestle, Tony Blair, McCann supporters,
McCann detractors - and, on occasions, (deep
intake of breath) men.

No biggie.

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