Nursery did nothing for Father's Day

(29 Posts)
Furiosa Fri 17-Jun-16 18:11:27

Would it/does it bother you if your child's nursery or school made a fuss over Mother's Day but ignored Father's Day?

Mine has and I feel a bit confused over it. The nursery usually does every holiday/event going but have not bothered with this (I got a DS made candle holder and a card for mother's day).

I don't know if it matters but there at pick up/drop off it's usually 50/50 mums and dads.

Is this normal for nurseries/schools? When I was at school when the wheel was all the rage we always did both. DS is my eldest so I'm just wondering if this is normal nowadays?

DrowningInWallStickers Fri 17-Jun-16 19:34:47

Hi, my dc nursery has done this too (I'm a mum) but there was reasoning behind it. The majority of dc nursery class didn't have a father in their life sadly, the thinking behind it was that it would be upsetting to all the children there who didn't have a father figure in their lives, however every child had their mum.

That's not to say it is right though, when we were younger we made grandfathers day cards if our dads weren't about, or another relevant male. The children should at least be allowed the choice imo, most do have a close male in their lives.

LaBelleOtero Fri 17-Jun-16 19:47:27

My DS's school always seemed to go more bonkers over Father's Day than Mother's Day. In fact it was more like Father's Week!

I guess it depends on the kids who attend. But in your case, if it's 50/50 Mums and Dads, perhaps your DH/DP could contact the nursery and mention his disappointment? Or maybe remind them beforehand next year.

ordinaryman Sat 18-Jun-16 10:40:50

What's the gender balance of the staff?

Furiosa Sat 18-Jun-16 14:00:06

They're all women.

ordinaryman Sun 19-Jun-16 12:44:00

Hmmm. Nothing from DD's school either. Apparently they adopt a similar view.

I think it's disgraceful.

Firstly, what about all the kids whose fathers are still in their lives (whether living with the mum or not)? Why do they not get to make cards as they do for their mothers?

Secondly, what kind of education does this give all the kids, with regard to the importance of fathers? In my view, they're all going to be taught by these women that dads don't matter.

CodyKing Sun 19-Jun-16 12:46:10

3 kids 3 schools - nothing! Not one hand made card to be seen!!

markingthebench Sun 19-Jun-16 12:48:28

My children don't see their father at all. The three year old is always asking for him, it's really sad. Making a father's day card at nursery would have seriously distressed and confused him.

I'm not saying it's right, but that's the way it is in our family.

markingthebench Sun 19-Jun-16 12:50:38

I don't feel entitled to mother's day cards, and wouldn't be even vaguely upset if I didn't get a hand made card from nursery.

katemiddletonsnudeheels Sun 19-Jun-16 12:51:40

I do wish neither were acknowledged in educational settings if I am honest.

Floralnomad Sun 19-Jun-16 13:01:34

I do think it's because they know the children and know that some don't have fathers in their lives - I used to be a cub and beaver leader and we didn't do anything for Father's Day because I knew some of them didn't have dads - if we had had children that didn't have mums I wouldn't have done Mother's Day either . I actually agree with pp and think that schools / nurseries shouldn't bother with any of these occasions .

Atenco Sun 19-Jun-16 13:31:53

Maybe Mother's Day should be abolished as having served its purpose.

Here in Mexico, where Mother's Day is a major event, it was originally brought in to counteract a major feminist movement.

"In Mexico, the government of Álvaro Obregón imported the Mother's Day holiday from the US in 1922, and the newspaper Excélsior held a massive promotional campaign for the holiday that year.[81] The conservative government tried to use the holiday to promote a more conservative role for mothers in families, but that perspective was criticized by the socialists as promoting an unrealistic image of a woman who was not good for much more than breeding"

katemiddletonsnudeheels Sun 19-Jun-16 13:33:51

I don't exactly have a problem with the concept of Mother's Day or Father's Day, but even adults can find these days hard. For a child who has lost either parent to have to 'celebrate' other people's is unkind.

MrsHardy1 Sun 19-Jun-16 13:37:44

Ds's nursery just did drawings and those that have dads stuck some 'i love dad' stickers on.

insancerre Sun 19-Jun-16 13:46:11

It's probably because the nursery don't know enough about each child's family dynamics to ensure children and mums aren't upset over making a card or gift
In my nursery each of my staff know the family circumstances of their key children so can make cards for dads, grandads or anybody else
It can be a very difficult subject to broach with very young children, especially if a child has experienced the death of a parent. I do know of instances where Mother's Day or fathers day hasn't been celebrated in a setting because of a child going through a bereavement

bluebloom Sun 19-Jun-16 13:51:36

My friend's DS was very upset at having to make a fathers day card at playgroup, he has never had any contact with his father & is increasingly conscious of that. Makes me really sad. Don't see why there couldn't be the opportunity to make a fathers day card for a special man in the kids' lives rather than specifically for dad, why not something for uncles/grandpas/male family friends or similar which could also be given to dads if appropriate.

KateLivesInEngland Sun 19-Jun-16 13:55:12

All four of my DC made Mother's Day cards, yr4, yr3, yr,2 and nursery (nursery is within same school)
Only nursery and the yr2 made Father's Day cards.
I'm a bit miffed about it tbh. We all made cards together yesterday, at home, so not a massive issue but it's still annoying.

crje Sun 19-Jun-16 13:57:52

Our school does neither .
I think it's best left to families
to do what fits them.

HelenaJustina Sun 19-Jun-16 14:01:02

All my DC made both Mother's and Father's Day cards, across pre-school, reception and KS1 and 2!

I'd be a bit annoyed at the nursery... But not cross enough to do anything about it lazy

starry0ne Sun 19-Jun-16 14:13:17

My DS nursery did a bring your dad to lunch day..I swapped DS day as it would of been too in your face...He did previously make something at beavers for fathers day and gave it to his female teacher confused

The planned curriculum was actually changed for my DS one year when they did about families and due to his response I got called in ( wasn't surprised and yes they knew the situation) but they felt a piece of planned work would be too upseting for him so did something different.

When I asked in reception they said they tend to gloss over fathers day as it is too difficult..

My ds now in juniors did nothing for either.. It is really hard for them in front of their peers dealing with the fact no dad is there... My DS makes jokes about his dad in class . it is his way of coping with it.

So in response I would like to think in both mum and dad the other parent could help make a card but usually mothers are generally all there..I would like to think if mum was absent for whatever reason the teacher would be sensitive to that too.

unlucky83 Sun 19-Jun-16 14:28:40

DD1's primary class and in fact Brownies etc didn't do anything for father's day from the age 6 because one of the children's father died in tragic circumstances.
DD2 they do because although there are single/separated parents etc they can change it to a grandparent etc...it isn't quite the same.
I'm sure if someone's mother had died they wouldn't have done anything for mother's day either...and I would be fine with that.

ConkerTriumphant Sun 19-Jun-16 14:50:34

Schools in the UK follow a Christian based assembly plan and, as Mother's Day has a Christian beginning its often covered, whereas Father's Day is a Hallmark card invention.

Fairuza Sun 19-Jun-16 14:55:23

Maybe none of the children were particularly keen to make a card?

Maybe the staff didn't feel it would be beneficial for the children?

Surely you could have organised your children into making something at home if it was important to you.

BertrandRussell Sun 19-Jun-16 14:58:13

Sadly, although most children have a mother in their lives, a significant number don't have a father.

That's why schools don't usually make Father's Day cards.

Playduh Sun 19-Jun-16 14:58:23

Our nursery made a big deal of Mother's Day but for Father's Day the cards were just addressed 'to someone special'. Think it's fair enough if the demographic reflects that.

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