Do you think its best women stay-at-home?

(11 Posts)

Hi guys,

I am a mum of a 3yo DS and another one on the way. I am completing my economics dissertation and need a male perspective on this question as all the literature I have found focuses on women's thoughts.

My project is using empirical evidence that explains that men continue to earn higher wages than women and childcare is the UK is very expensive therefore many parents find they must choose to have a parent to stay-at-home and carry out all the unpaid work i.e. cooking /cleaning /childcare.

Anyway my questions are:

Do you think it better for women to carry out unpaid work i.e. childcare cooking cleaning or not and why?

And do you think its better for the children, you and your partner to stay-at-home? - Do you think its better for yours and your children's relationship and well-being or do you think this is an outdated view?
Do you think they're social pressures on women to work but this is likely not to be their preference?

Please let me know your thoughts and experiences guys, they're very much appreciated.

Thank you.

sigma15 Thu 21-May-15 16:32:44

I think its always about choice and finance. What works for one person doesn't work for another and we should not offer any opinions as to what a parent chooses to do. We all manage in life the best we know how. For my part I would have loved to have been at home but could not afford to do so.

Stealthpolarbear Thu 21-May-15 16:43:24

confused

Whiskwarrior Thu 21-May-15 16:46:31

Didn't you have a flurry of posts recently asking other members questions over and over OP?

You're a very lazy student in my opinion, doing all your 'research' on MN.

Egged Thu 21-May-15 16:50:43

With the best will in the world, Charlotte, your dissertation won't be worth the paper it's written on if your major source of information is asking question on a Mumsnet forum. Apart from anything else, anyone can post as 'male' on here. I could come on and tell you I'm a father of five and I like my wife barefoot and pregnant at the kitchen sink. Apart from the fact that neither bit is true.

Northernparent68 Thu 21-May-15 23:07:06

How many stay at home mothers are their these days ? It's a non question op.

GiddyOnZackHunt Thu 21-May-15 23:18:48

Childcare's expensive? Have you seen our mortgage payments? We both earn more than childcare costs but we need more than one income to pay living costs.
Once bf stops, love, routine and stability is what counts.

Thanks a lot for being so rude so many of you!! I cannot believe a website that claims to be "by parents for parents" so many people are so cruel we should be empowering each other but clearly many of you sit on here to be unpleasant.

I am a SAHM and will have completed my degree in 3 years with the OU, whilst having many many stresses, I would love to see any of you walk a day in my shoes!
I have done a lot of research, I was trying like Gambles, R., (2013) “Managing the gendered dynamics of parenting during the UK New Labour government years”, Children’s Geographies, [Vol. 11.], [No. 2.], 188 –201, dx.doi.org/10.1080/14733285.2013.779448, [Online]. Available at: eds.b.ebscohost.com.libezproxy.open.ac.uk/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=b16834c7-ffa8-435c-aee8-346765085e97%40sessionmgr114&vid=2&hid=111, (Accessed 07/04/2015).
to use this platform to add another dimension to my research by using a triangular method and ensure that I have as many opinions as possible.
Thank you for opening my eyes to what awfully unkind parents are out there I just hope you are not so critical of your children. All I can say is poor kids!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Fri 22-May-15 12:11:34

Charlotte, come on. Egged is absolutely right and not at all rude. You have no way of quantifying the responses from an online forum. I could use one of several user names to tell you the same thing 10 times, or different things different times. I could be a woman, I could be a man. I could be in Russia, France or Alaska - so my opinions on Uk economic factors could be useless. As a supportive parent to another parent, this isn't the way to do your research.

nornironrock Sat 23-May-15 21:00:53

I'll answer your questions.

We both work, and I work away a lot. We consider it to be important for our kids to see us both go out to work, as for the lifestyle we wish to have we both need to do so.

Whilst they were very small, cost-wise was roughly break-even. We do a lot better now, so the cost of wraparound care is much less of an issue

It really depends what kind of lifestyle people/families want. And actually, the only social pressure I have been aware of is stay at home mothers looking down on those that go to work....

I completed my degree (full-time with a part-time job) whilst my children were very small... Good luck to you.

Anyone who is annoyed by my response and is now about to slag me off, please do it somewhere else. I've given my opinions because I was asked for them - not because I think they are any more valid than anyone else's.

LotusLight Sat 23-May-15 21:37:20

Do you think it better for women to carry out unpaid work i.e. childcare cooking cleaning or not and why? No, not at all.

And do you think its better for the children, you and your partner to stay-at-home? No children do better if both parents work full time.

- Do you think its better for yours and your children's relationship and well-being or do you think this is an outdated view? It has never been better for children if women don't work.
Do you think they're social pressures on women to work but this is likely not to be their preference? No, who on earth would prefer hours of cleaning and childcare unless they just could not get a reasonable paying job? It tends to be women who have few qualifications or cannot get a well paid job who are at home and they tend to be the ones who are also worse at bringing up children as they have lower IQs and know less about childcare than educated high earning women.

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