Any thoughts on my mid-life slump?

(6 Posts)
2Retts Fri 28-Feb-14 02:07:01

Hey JandLandG, first of all, I think it's pretty normal to have a more 'realistic' reflection of life at this stage. It's a bit cliche, agreed, but it's just a natural juncture in life at which to reflect and take stock.

I think it's important that you say you appreciate the great stuff in your life (family etc), and it's equally important that you recognise that your post seems to focus on your ennui in your career and the given prospects for your future.

I have to agree with MDOSOD, although in principle only. Perhaps you ought to be fielding suggestions about ways in which you could diversify your skills set somewhat over the coming months/years in order to sate your feelings of...well...dissatisfaction in life. Things that will not bring detriment to the things that you love and appreciate in your life.

Just my musings but perhaps worth exploring

JandLandG Fri 28-Feb-14 01:37:05

Thanks for taking the time, MDOSOD

I've thought of that.

Plenty of capital/equity in our house.

But that's such a big deal.

The key to future financial security.

You write it so casually.

Would love to do, and constantly ponder...but the risk.

Would I really risk 100/150k plus plus like this?

You're a braver man than I! (Not hard to be honest).

I other news, I was bloody caught speeding today.

Exquisite timing to make me feel good.

On the motor way.

I normally drive like a snail to save fuel.

Floored it on the way home to get back a reasonable time

Idiot. I wont tell anyone on RL.

MarriedDadOneSonOneDaughter Thu 27-Feb-14 20:37:56

Your list is almost the same as mine. I think it's down to priorities and attitude. I've been out of the game so long, I'm almost unemployable. However, I still work, get paid, have plenty of time for the young kids and family life.

Find other ways of using your time and energy. Figure out some achievable goals and go for them.

For example, very tried and tested. Buy a run down flat, do it up and rent it out. Classic deployment of experience, common sense and commercial judgement that most men at a loose end can handle project managing and even doing themselves.

JandLandG Tue 25-Feb-14 17:08:21

Thanks for this, HC...maybe sounds a bit like me, but another thing I think of is the future...no guarantee I'll be able to earn a decent living at this forever.

Perhaps this is just all about status and kudos.

When I had them, I didn't even know it, it's only become apparent as I've got older...and haven't got of them much anymore!

But where do I go from here? Where do I see myself in future? No bloody idea!

Being witty and intelligent on a Radio 4 show.

Lauded and invited to glamourous parties as a celebrated literary figure.

Not going to happen, is it? Maybe that's my central problem: idiotic delusions of grandeur. A superiority complex.

I've been the luckiest person alive to have enjoyed the live I have so far...don't deserve it, haven't worked hard in years, never very talented...just thorough.

Maybe I'd like to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond than my current minnow against sharks status.

Hey ho.

HelpfulChap Tue 25-Feb-14 16:37:02

I think it is the realisation that you have peaked both career-wise & earnings-wise that is hard to come to terms with sometimes. I am a bit older than you i think & i did go through a similar thing a few years back. I have come to terms with it now though, i still earn good money & although the hours are very long, i can do the job in my sleep.

JandLandG Tue 25-Feb-14 16:08:22

Just feeling low and in a bit of a rut workwise the last couple of years...I shouldn't really, but I do.

Here's the situation, let me know if you have any thoughts/advice/suggestions.

Firstly - and most importantly - we have a great family life...all good, very lucky and I know it.

However, work matters often get me dispairing.

The upsides:

Great daily rate (I'm freelance).

Don't have to work too hard much of the time.

Downsides:

No career progression.
Often work late/weekends.
Unimpressive people as colleagues in the main...used to be a graduate profession but not so much anymore.

Old friends/kids' friends' parents who actually have grown up jobs with a bit of status and responsibility...I'm just not in that game any more, even though they think I probably am.

I feel like a well-paid C2 factory/manual worker to be honest. Nothing wrong with that of course, but just not how I might have thought things would work out when I got a great education and started out doing this 20 years ago.

Plus odd hours are more tiring now as I get older.

I can feel myself running out of energy and just wondering what I can do to re-kick start myself whilst earning a living for the family. Mid-40s, should be at the peak of my powers, but now I often shy away from work colleagues and social situations when I used to love that kind of thing.

What the f**k is wrong with me????

Discuss!

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