Why would you watch porn?

(194 Posts)
AmIHumanYet Sun 02-Feb-14 00:00:54

How can anybody ENJOY seeing a woman being treated as a sex object? I watched some as research (seriously!) a few months ago, the general themes were men disrespecting women. it was focused on the mans pleasure and orgasm, why do some of you think that that's okay? There's NOTHING equal about this industry

Young men are getting weird and wrong ideas about women and how they should be treated from watching porn. Women are shown as sex OBJECTS, not human beings, they're shown as always being up for it, that basically using her as a wank-tool is enough to make her orgasm, that being selfish and focused on your own pleasure and orgasm is acceptable

I really want to hear some male opinions on this, it has been really upsetting me for a long time now and I feel powerless.

MsAnatomist Wed 05-Feb-14 18:26:44

I agree with that, there was that massive syphillis (Pretty sure it was that) outbreak, it shut down the LA scene for ages. The thing is that america is so big it is like comparing say, the whole of europe with the UK. There's these bubbles of good repute that are larger than what's positive with the UK. Although from the ladies and gents I spoke to who worked in the UK, the pay seemed to be on the whole better here? Although how you can put a price on your health/safety is obviously a question no one likes to think of at all.

KlausDupont Sat 08-Feb-14 20:44:57

My wife doesn't have sex with me so I watch porn.

If she did I would never consume porn - it's unerotic and crass but adds a little piquancy to the five knuckle shuffle so there you go.

divisionbyzero Wed 19-Feb-14 16:29:28

Not a fan really, and just to be clear I wouldn't be ashamed of it if I was. I think that for men who are out of the "awkward phase", it is used as an attempt to quell the sexual part of the sexual, financial, social, intellectual, conversational and emotional void man endures in settling for one woman once she has been with him for thirty seconds, the act is dropped and a lifetime of sad indentured servitude is truly embarked upon. smile

normalishdude Thu 20-Feb-14 08:59:58

sexual, financial, social, intellectual, conversational, emotional voids. OK, porn= sexual side. What do they do about all the other factors?:0)

Yawn, another porn thread. Why has this been posted on Dadsnet?

TiggyCBE Mon 24-Feb-14 11:09:25

They have women in porn now?

AmIHumanYet Sat 01-Mar-14 14:40:07

Toadinthehole, I hardly think 'yawn' is an appropriate reaction to the abuse of women or to the extremely damaging effects this is having on children and adults.

LouiseSmith Sat 01-Mar-14 17:42:19

I watch porn, I'm a woman. I've watch it with and without my partner. Why? Why not.

First time I found porn I was 15, did it colour my view of how I should be abused by men in bed. No! I enjoy a little slap and tickle who doesn't now and again

TiggyCBE Sun 02-Mar-14 09:50:49

I really want to hear some male opinions on this

No you don't.

Your OP went like this:
'Porn is wrong and horrible in every way and everyone who uses it is pure evil scum because it's wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG!'

That kind of approach is never going to provoke a discussion. Anybody reading that would probably have worked out that any opinion that differed from yours in any way would be quite aggressively attacked. And generally, porn discussions never go well on here

AmIHumanYet Sun 02-Mar-14 20:44:30

Yes I do, Tiggy. I wanted to hear how it can be justified, I wanted to know if the viewers actually give a shit or realise how damaging it is/can be.
Have you actually watched any of the mainstream stuff? It is obviously sending a very negative message to the viewers about women and sex.

Technotropic Mon 03-Mar-14 00:14:24

I would say its wrong to think porn changes the expectation of men. I think most men are fully capable of understanding that porn is fantasy so is a little insulting to think men want to make their wives gag on their cocks, or that they should be 'up for it' 24/7.

Porn has probably changed as many men as 50 Shades has changed women.

OP, you sound as if you're spoiling for a fight.

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 10:57:27

Toadinthehole, is it so hard to understand why someone would be upset/worried about this issue?

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 11:13:20

LouiseSmith, that's nice... do you honestly believe that the media doesn't affect the way people think?

If we are using our personal experiences to prove out point then- I'm a 21 year old woman who has had lots of sexual partners, I KNOW that young people are being heavily influenced by porn! Young women/girls ARE expected to perform sex acts like 'deep throat', anal sex etc.

I don't think you realise what is going on in schools, statistics say that 50% of 11-14 year olds have viewed porn. Things have only got worse since I was in school, I volunteer with young people (mostly girls) and the issues we talk about most are things like young girls being pressured to send naked photos, those photos then being sent around the school, girls being filmed on mobile phones performing sex acts, the pressure to look a certain way ('if you have pubic hair, you're gross') etc.

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 11:19:20

I would definitely say that the majority of young boys 'sex education' is coming from porn these days. Where are they learning to respect women and not see them as sex objects? The media DOES heavily influence people! I am certain that most parents don't teach their children about these things and from my experience and what I have been told, schools aren't teaching it. Where does a girl learn that sex should be respectful and equal? Where does a boy learn that women should be treated respectfully and equally during sex?

NeoFaust Mon 03-Mar-14 11:30:31

I think the media, including porn, is affected by the way think, then sells our own fantasies back to us. Porn is just a reflection of trends in our society. Back in the 90s/early 00s it was all busty shaved blondes with the rare brunette. Since then the variety had really taken off - women of all body shapes becoming stars in their particular niches. I think porn as an art form is developing its own maturity as societies sexual ethics move away from Edwardian prudent and its feminist off shoot.

As women throw off the patriarchal attitudes to sex, they are increasingly consuming, and more importantly influencing, the evolution of more inclusive porn. Perhaps the OP should examine whether their attitude comes from their own opinion or is a remnant of patriarchal slut shaming.

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 11:39:17

NeoFaust, I think you've completely missed my point.
None of that changes the fact that women are being used as and seen as sex objects, none of that changes the fact that women are being abused in the porn industry

NeoFaust Mon 03-Mar-14 12:00:19

Noone is disputing that there is abuse in the industry and noone disputes that abuse in a sex industry is off greater concern than, say, the abuse of women workers in a mobile phone factory.

What is in dispute is :

A: that the majority of women in porn are being abused.

B: that porn represents abuse in itself.

C: That people should not be permitted to present themselves as sexual performers ("objects" in your parlance) in a limited context for money or their own amusement.

TiggyCBE Mon 03-Mar-14 13:58:16

I wanted to hear how it can be justified, I wanted to know if the viewers actually give a shit or realise how damaging it is/can be.

If you want to hear how it can be justified in some people's eyes you'll need to approach it in a more neutral way.

At the moment you're approaching it in kind of the same way as a toddler approaches bird watching. By screaming and running at the birds, scaring them away.

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 18:52:01

Thanks for your contribution, TiggyCBE. I am perfectly entitled to voice my opinions about something, of course I am going to speak negatively about something I view as damaging and usually misogynistic

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 18:54:51

NeoFaust, I do suspect that you're missing my points deliberately...

TiggyCBE Mon 03-Mar-14 20:07:01

You are entitled to voice your opinions. But if you do that you'll find that nobody will want to answer your question.

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 20:11:27

People already have answered
Of course I wanted to try and draw peoples attention to this issue, Tiggy. Thanks for the input...

RiverMan Mon 03-Mar-14 20:12:53

OP Tiggy is right. You don't really want a debate, or to understand a different view, you just want to rant about your perception of porn and brow beat anyone with a different view.

I suggest you repost in FWR section, you'll get a lot of reinforcement of your perspective there.

AmIHumanYet Mon 03-Mar-14 20:22:17

RiverMan
As I said in the OP, the issue 'has been upsetting me for a very long time and I feel powerless' which surely explains why I tried to voice my concerns..?
I feel honoured to be on the same thread as a mind-reader though!
I posted here for the reason I stated in the OP, my opinions, experiences and facts are not a 'rant', RiverMan hmm
If you believe it would be better suited to the FWR section then does that mean that you think the Dadsnet section isn't feminist or pro-womens rights? I thought it was relevant to this section because I did want to read mens answers to the question (despite being told that I don't want to confused )

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