DP is living in a perpetual nightmare. He split with ex more than 2 1/2 years ago. His DDwas around 6 months old. He did his share of nappies, bath time etc before the split. Ex was originally ok, he could see DD often, even had her for a whole weekend while she went in a hen do.
A few months later we get together. Ex stops contact. They go to mediation, she says he's a rubbish father, that he'd threatened to run off with me and DD, how horrible he was, turned in the tears. She made unreasonable demands such as DDs clothes weren't allowed to be stained upon return (good luck when feeding a baby!) etc. He eventually relented and agreed to everything, she said she'd changed her mind and he couldn't see her.
He applied for legal aid and waited for court, 6 months pass and she declares it's a new start and he can see DD building up contact slowly. He agrees and drops legal proceedings. Ex shouts at DP infront of DD, her family call him 'it' to DD. She said DD isn't to sit where that cunt has (my DS car seat). It was relentless. She stopped contact again when DP refused to get back together. Mediation is repeated. Same things, DD isn't to see anyone but him, not even his immediate family. His mum has only meet DD now 3 twice.
Ex seems to be relaxing and agrees me and DS can spend time with her too. This lasts for a month before she declares it stops as DD is wetting the bed because of us. I know DD is happy with me as she asked to stay with me while DP went to the shop. Admittedly her and DS did have a love/hate thing going on. (Same age, sharing toys etc).
DP let's his sister see DD so ex cuts contact again. More mediation. She says a health professional told her to. I can't think of any that would say this. Everytime the mediator seems to be on DPs side until they all get together and ex cries. Then they round on DP.
He is currently seeing her for 2 hours a week. No one else, friends or family is allowed to see her according to ex. She cut it back to 45 minutes recently as DD was naughty at nursery so this was DPs fault?
It's a crazy situation where DP is living on edge not knowing if she'll stop or reduce contact for any reason. DD comes out with stuff like daddy's girlfriend yuk, fifi and DS smell mummy told me, why did you choose DS and not me.... It's heartbreaking.
If he goes to court in the new year, what are his chances of reasonable contact? It's been brewing for quite some time now as you can imagine but we are expecting a child of our own in July and don't want DD to feel excluded from the family. Now is the time.
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Advice on going to court for contact
2 replies
fifi669 · 17/12/2013 23:43
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