Lady free thread for those scary times!

(34 Posts)
TiggyD Mon 26-Aug-13 20:14:11

Come in and relax. There's big squashy leather sofas, a variety of games consoles, a drinks fridge, bottomless bowls of crisps (Frazzles, ridged ones and nachos), paintings of trains, boats and cars, and everything is black/white or chrome.

CoffeeandScones Tue 27-Aug-13 06:49:21

Thankfully being a man I've managed to be blissfully unaware of all the attempted DIY and scatter cushionness.

But I can't find the XBox controller. Anyone?

WafflyVersatile Mon 26-Aug-13 22:05:10

[throws a few scatter cushions around the place]

There, that's better. I'm stunned you didn't think to buy some yourself.

Anyway. I'll away and let you boys talk about football and fondle your crotches now.

StephenFrySaidSo Mon 26-Aug-13 22:04:43

i'll get my coat grin

HoneyDragon Mon 26-Aug-13 22:03:16

hmm hmm

StephenFrySaidSo Mon 26-Aug-13 21:58:10

grin

I could set a plant on it to test out your work while you've nipped down to the toolbox to get some adhesivey sort of stuff and you could come back up and find the shelf and most of the wall plaster on the floor, interspersed with soil and plant pot smile

HoneyDragon Mon 26-Aug-13 21:54:07

hmm

SigmundFraude Mon 26-Aug-13 21:48:44

I could tell you the shelf is level, you could put it up and then I can tell you that, actually, it's skewiff.

DeathByTray Mon 26-Aug-13 21:47:35

<takes off socks & throws behind sofa>

HoneyDragon Mon 26-Aug-13 21:43:32

Need rawlplugs
Shops shut

<<secretly cheers up at prospect of having excuse to look in screw fix catalogue>>

<<and trip to Lidl to look in square of shit for bargain brackets>>

StephenFrySaidSo Mon 26-Aug-13 21:38:20

ooh, while you two are here- there's a shelf in the bathroom needs fixing back up- you could hammer it back up- or whatever it is men do to shelves wink

SigmundFraude Mon 26-Aug-13 21:37:30

'You lot have the whole site to enjoy yourselves in.'

But the whole world is your oyster of privilege.

<stares wistfully out of the window>

<twists wee cloth in hands>

MacaYoniandCheese Mon 26-Aug-13 21:37:28

<<adjusts ball-sac>>

<<farts silently>>

Runs

grin

TiggyD Mon 26-Aug-13 21:35:26

<<grunts in recognition towards Honey>>

HoneyDragon Mon 26-Aug-13 21:33:37

<<sighs>>

StephenFrySaidSo Mon 26-Aug-13 21:31:21

<squeezes in between honey and tiggy and switches xtra factor on- while simultaneously calling tracey on the phone and discussing Dermot's bum hugging suit>

HoneyDragon Mon 26-Aug-13 21:29:33

<<nods in affirmative fashion whilst not removing eyes from tv screen>>

TiggyD Mon 26-Aug-13 21:27:58

You lot have the whole site to enjoy yourselves in. This bit is only for us real men like Honey and I.

HoneyDragon Mon 26-Aug-13 21:24:52

<<grabs best chair>>

<<sprawls>>

StephenFrySaidSo Mon 26-Aug-13 21:22:37

grin

ah bless, they can't help it really can they.

SigmundFraude Mon 26-Aug-13 21:18:17

Ah well, I've had a lot of practice at wee wiping, my DH and DS's just pee all over the floor and, naturally, being a mere woman, it's my job to clean it up.

My cloth is ready, and I'm feeling downtrodden. We're good to go grin

StephenFrySaidSo Mon 26-Aug-13 21:05:29

Sigmund you could keep the bowl of super ridgey crisps topped up and make sure there is lots of ice for the man coke.

and someone has to wipe the floor after each man has had his wee grin

SigmundFraude Mon 26-Aug-13 20:59:53

I'm not serving YOU. Wrong bits.

SinisterSal Mon 26-Aug-13 20:58:17

you're so funny.

SigmundFraude Mon 26-Aug-13 20:57:18

Bugger. There must be some servitude I can perform? How about if I fetch the man-coke and then hover around expectantly for orders or something?

TiggyD Mon 26-Aug-13 20:46:06

"Are patriarchal handmaidens allowed?"

We don't need any. The furniture all wipes clean in theory. The dips are served in the plastic pots they came in so there's no washing up there. The crisp bowls/doilies/glasses are all disposable. The floor is all laminate, so a quick flash round with a leaf blower will dust the whole place. No cleaning at all to do.

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