I wouldn't want to invade their space. It's not about just moving in and taking over. It's about being sensitive to everyone's needs and acting with care and discretion. That way you're less likely to be perceived as a threat.
The only thing that would bother me is the thought of it going Pete Tong and the kids being part of it. You also then have to get over missing mum and the wee 'uns too. This happened to me a long while back.
The problem is though, that if you shy away from the kids it kinda gives the wrong impression.
Bottom line? It wouldn't bother me if she had 4+ children but I would not be getting formally introduced to them for a fair while. That is in order to protect all of us.
I can understand where he's coming from to a degree - as Somebloke says, firstly because he was a boy himself & secondly because there'd be some potentially awkward encounters in a house with 4 girls in it - they'd be less awkward if you'd had a chance to build up a relationship beforehand (if that makes sense?)
Not that I've been in that situation... but if you're dealing with 14 yr old boys, you have the common ground of both having been 13 yr old boys. It's not much, but it's more than you'd have with girls.
Hi would like some men's thoughts/opinions on this please just out of interest.
I was chatting to boyfriend other day and I mentioned that a mutual friend had told me she thought men were put off dating her because she has 4 children. I asked him out of interest if he would have asked me out if I'd have had 4 children and he said as long as they were boys, and that no way would he have stayed over at the beginning if I'd have had a 14 year old daughter in the house. I have 2 sons youngest was 14 when we met.
I was going to ask him his reasoning for this but was interrupted by phone call. I asked him later on and he said he wouldn't have known how to communicate/get on with a daughter and that I would've have had to stop at his a "fair while" till he got to know her.
Personally it would be irrelevant if a new partner has sons or daughters as long as we got along.
So men do your actions/plans alter depending on if new partner has sons or daughters? Just seems to me boyfriends response was a little odd/OTT?