LandysOffRoad - yours is a common situation.
You're not allowed to care for your daughter because you don't have experience of caring for her, but because you don't care for her your daughter you don't have experience of caring for her.
If you know what I mean. And because it is a viscious circle there is no way to break it. For a lot of dads When she's ready' <span class="italic">actually</span> means When (or if) I say she is ready.
The bottom line is that the longer you remain in the current situation the stronger the status quo is and the harder the fight will be if you do end up in court. So your first priority is to get things moving.
The best outcome of all is that you can talk to your ex, agree between you what is in your daughter's best interests (and shockingly enough as a father your judgement about this is actually as good as hers!) and make arrangements so that you can work together and that's the end of it.
But it sounds like that this scenario isn't going to happen right now and your ex is not willing to discuss it.
So you need to move it forward. The thing to do is organise professional mediation. Someone to referee' in your discussion with her and come to an arrangement so everyone goes away feeling amicable. Google National Family Mediation' and find your nearest branch. Give them a call, explain the situation and ask that they organise mediation for you. They will likely call you in for a chat to help understand the situation, then do the same to your ex.
Hopefully she'll do that and you'll then both be invited in to try to sort things out. Work out what it is you are seeking beforehand.
It's at this point it very often becomes difficult'. If your ex refuses to attend, refuses to compromise you will need to ask for a <strong>FM1</strong> form - which shows you have attempted mediation but it didn't work out. You'll need this if you end up in court to show that you've not just dragged her to court because you're out to punish her, control her, etc.<br /> <br /> Now...court. You <strong>really</strong> don't want to go there unless there is no other chance. No, really. You don't. It will likely embitter both you and your ex and if you dislike each other now chances are by the end of things you'll loathe the very sight of each other. Which is why you should do your best to avoid it.<br /> <br /> It'll cost you £200 to submit an application for a Section 8 application - that's for contact orders, residence orders, etc. If you choose to use a solicitor expect to pay them at least £170 an hour and £1500 a day if you use a barrister. Don't be surprised to be paying around £400 a month <strong>before</strong> it gets to court. For the paperwork preparation, correspondence and attendance of a solicitor for a 30 minute hearing you shouldn't be that surprised to be paying about £700 (on top of your monthly costs). If it's a final (all day) hearing and you take a barrister what with paperwork you'll be paying at least £2000 for a day.<br /> <br /> As for how long...it varies depending on what the situation is. Allegations of child and domestic abuse? Expect a CAFCASS report (and quite frankly you can usually expect one <span class="italic">without</span> these allegations). Mum won't agree to anything? A few hearings to gradually scale up contact to something meaningful. For the record...my hearing was 15 hearings long and took 5 years to resolve.<br /> <br /> The bottom line is that for a lot of people this is unsustainable. It was for me. I used a McKenzie Friend (watch the solicitors crowd here and say they are unregulated, not professionals and shouldn't be trusted) - but for the record my son is now with me 40% of the time, the total cost was less than a quarter a solicitor would have charged, my McKenzie Friend was available at all hours to deal with the inevitable just before the weekend' letters the solicitor would send me and I ended up with way more contact than any solicitor would promise me.
I also joined Families Need Fathers for emotional support. You will meet a thousand people (fathers and mothers) who have been cut off from their children who have seen it, done it and got the court order and are able to help you in one way or the other.
If you want some pointers, give me a shout because this situation can be salvaged - ideally you and your ex working together to be allies for your daughter.