Why do men watch porn

(62 Posts)
20092012 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:37

I know people say its normal for a guy to watch porn but really why do you feel the need to if u have a girl? I'm married with 2 kids in 24 and my husband is 26 we have been married for 4 years, I don't like the fact he watches porn it makes me feel like I'm not enough for him, I can't help but think I'm obviously not satisfying him! When I ask him he jus changes subject like he doesn't want to talk about it so I don't push him! I would like to know from mainly the men hu do feel the need to watch it and why? Also women dont hesitate to comment thanx

sheriffofnottingham Wed 12-Mar-14 17:42:08

because playing with your bits feels nice and porn helps jolly the job along. generally having a wank has little to do with love or desire it's more like scratching an itch. hangovers, tiredness, insomnia, hunger, anger, boredom... the list goes on, all made better by having a wank

BreakingDad77 Thu 27-Mar-14 14:41:17

Men are visual creatures, how would you feel if men started saying you cant read fifty shades etc?

If he is turning sex down to wank instead then that is a problem and also if it is some strange fetish you may want to talk to him.

PrivetHawkmoth Thu 27-Mar-14 15:05:08

I'm a woman (happily married, decent sex life) and I like watching porn occasionally - it's no reflection on my DH or my sex life, it just turns me on and gives me a good orgasm. I don't think men are always more 'visual' than women, necessarily. I certainly get turned on by visual stuff. I go through phases of liking specific types of porn and am not a fan of the traditional porn actor look at all, or the swearing and fake boobs/fake moaning that's so common in mainstream porn.

I find it gets me thinking about sex more often and improves my libido - the more orgasms I have, the more I want. If I've been busy for a few weeks, sex has got less frequent etc, then a bit of porn can quickly help me get back in the mood.

And yes, there are a lot of ethical problems around porn.. but there are also a hell of a lot of amateur videos out there with consenting adult 'performers' - just people enjoying sex basically.

PrivetHawkmoth Thu 27-Mar-14 15:14:48

Sorry OP, I realise my post doesn't exactly answer your question - but I think the reasons men watch porn are probably quite similar to why women watch porn. It's extremely natural to be turned on by the thought or image of other people having sex!

I think you need to get your partner to talk to you about it more and be more open so you can understand it - he needs to listen to your concerns and appreciate how it might make you feel, especially if you're feeling stressed or insecure.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla Tue 08-Jul-14 11:21:32

it seems like this post is still open! i'm lurking. :D
men watch porn because thats how they get off - its harder for a man to use imaginiation. I use porn so I can get ideas on how to spice the sex life up! He watches porn to get off while I'm not there ( i don't live with my DP)

hell4heather Tue 22-Jul-14 21:18:45

I'm lurking too. Why men watch porn isn't really an issue. If you are in a relationship with someone, they watch porn and you don't like it you are entitled to say so! If it hurts you and he/she loves you, they should stop. YOU set the boundaries in your relationship. Never forget that.

So it is appropriate for a man to forbid his wife from reading Fifty Shades of Gray?

Jayne35 Mon 28-Jul-14 15:52:33

So it is appropriate for a man to forbid his wife from reading Fifty Shades of Gray?

Forbid - No. Ask - yes, if he really doesn't like it. I have asked my DH to stop watching porn (repeatedly - waste of time!) as I don't like it but I would not object to him reading erotic fiction, two completely different things.

I will expand. It is one thing to express dislike of something one's partner does. It is another to insist that it stop. Forbidding is the most accurate term for this, and there are plenty of examples when it is fair enough.

I don't see a relevant difference between visual and literary porn. What do you think it is?

Jayne35 Sun 17-Aug-14 09:54:33

That literary porn is fictional, no person is mistreated in the writing of a book. I never used to be bothered one way or another about porn but that has changed. Watching some of the documentaries about the industry was very informative. With regard to fifty shades I haven't read it as I don't find it at all appealing so I can't really comment it.

Do you think an adult who voluntarily exposes his or her private parts for the erotic pleasure of the public in general to be mistreated?

By the way, I don't deny that there is exploitation in the pornographic industry, or that a person whose privacy is violated is mistreated. However, this is not an argument that porn per se involves mistreatment.

There is of course the separate argument that porn objectifies (mostly) women. However, my view is that objectification need not require a person with his or her clothes off: it can be done through a fictional character too.

MommaRoo78 Mon 15-Sep-14 12:38:15

I find it really disrespectful.

I think my kids will have no mom to grow up with if their dad ever treated me like this because id kill myself or leave him 100%. on his own.

I couldnt handle it and dont like being forced to put up with something. If im not enough for him then he can go and find something he is happy with and frankly 'i love you' wouldnt wash.

I dont think he's like that because he treats me with so much respect it's untrue but there's no doubt in my mind after owning my own house and paying my way 'that i dont NEED him'.

im with him because I love him very much and want him in my life. I would not put up with any man taking the mickey.

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