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Help. Why would dad lose interest in 2 month old DS?

6 replies

aamia · 18/11/2012 20:47

Need your insight please. My husband used to love snuggling on the sofa with the baby. Now he doesn't want him at all. Won't choose to do anything with him. Says he is too tired. Could it be that simple? Or could it be that DS often cries inconsolably till I return if I leave him with his dad. Is this that my husband feels his son doesn't want him so is withdrawing? He still cuddles the dog...

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exoticfruits · 18/11/2012 22:14

I would go out - shopping if nowhere else- and leave him to it. It always seems sad to me that the father rarely gets time alone. Maybe he feels that you are the 'senior parent' and you have to direct. E.g does he bath him without you hovering and instructing? Dress him without you telling him which clothes? Have you gone out and left him to it?

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GetAllTheThings · 19/11/2012 09:11

DS often cries inconsolably till I return if I leave him with his dad

Well that'd probably be part of it. When my dd was very small she'd get quite upset if I went in to comfort her in the night. She'd really want her mum and it was easier for all concerned to just leave it to mum.

But I think there are generally moments when one's dc say stuff ( or do stuff ) that might feel like rejection. But then if you're the parent you rise above it. 2 months is pretty early days. Just make sure dad has dc when you're around.

I'm sure it'll change as dc gets older.

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SamSmalaidh · 19/11/2012 09:16

Agree with leaving him to it - try to have some defined dad time/duties. Make bath time his job, when he gets in from work hand over the baby for an hour while you have a bath, make sure you get a lie-in for a couple of hours one weekend day while he looks after the baby, and go out for a couple of hours in the afternoon.

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walrusmoustache · 19/11/2012 14:18

Bath time is great dad and baby time also nappy changes, winding etc.
One thought though, a friend of mine was like this; suddenly lost all interest in his children and tired constantly. Went to doctors and he had a severe thyroid problem.
Trip to doctors would be a good idea.

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brainonastick · 19/11/2012 14:21

Dads can get a form of post natal depression too - worth considering?

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LaCiccolina · 19/11/2012 14:22

Dd used to b inconsolable to. But then why wouldn't she be? It's mum it wants....

Dh got over it. Now at 2 she equal opp (finally!) and he doesn't get a choice. Getting wound up neither changes or helps so, and I'm sure it sounds unhelpful but isn't meant to, chill til it changes naturally. It will!!!!

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