My editor is thorough but tells me about things that need changing in a nice way. Perhaps have a word with your publisher to see if they can find you an editor who you can work with better. It seems as if your personalities clash, which is not ideal given that you need to work together to make the MS the best it can be.
Do you agree with the feedback you're getting? Or do you feel she's changing things that should be left alone?
I've worked with several editors and they've all been lovely, kind and gentle in giving feedback - but I still initially hear it as harsh and judgmental. It never is; it's just how I always hear it. I make myself get over this because I know they're on my side and they're improving the finished work.
However, if you feel the feedback is wrong (rather than just hard to hear), I'd consider asking your publisher if there's anyone else you can work with.
I'm a managing editor, which means I sort out editors for people's books, once I've commissioned them.
Some editors do make little signs that can come across sarky and a bit rude, but take heart - they don't mean it. Prob the text needs clarifying a touch. No editor edits or criticises for fun - the job is to improve the text.
Thank you for your replies. I do understand that she is just trying to make the text better...some things i do agree with, for instance she has pointed out areas which need clarification or are repetitive - things which really do need improving.
I just find other parts, where she is criticising a particular person i am quoting or referencing, and telling me that 'no one thinks like this' or that their views are 'ludicrous'...well i think this sort of thing is not really her job. I'm referencing some really well-known and respected professionals here!
I'll keep going with it and focus on ways she is improving the flow and clarity of my work. And then I'll see what the publisher thinks.