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The difference between an Irish wedding and an English wedding.

40 replies

hollyisalovelyname · 26/10/2016 14:57

Just that. Is the format the same?
Are they different?
Are they similar?
I've never been to a UK wedding.

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Totallypearshaped · 26/10/2016 15:03

Not sure what you're asking holly.

Do you mean civil marriage, registry office, church, temple, mosque, humanist vow exchange, puja?

Or do you just want a heads up on the differences between a Christian ceremony Catholic / Church of England with a traditional church wedding ceremony, and reception?

Or do you have questions only about the reception, evening only, gifts or cheque?

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hollyisalovelyname · 26/10/2016 17:55

Reception after the actual marriage.
Just what's the 'norm ' or is there one?

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7to25 · 26/10/2016 18:02

If religious then there are no gifts of gold and silver in England
Food may not be hot.
No display of gifts at home.
Far less money given for presents
Only one type of potato (if any)

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FarAwayHills · 26/10/2016 18:16

Really difficult to say as it varies a lot.
Can you tell by the invitation or venue what is involved?
I would say that the norm in Ireland is the full white wedding plus full on sit down meal /reception whereas in the U.K it might be this or it might be more low key or informal.
A large cash gift is not expected.
People don't stay up until 5am doing the Siege of Ennis and having a sing song.

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Bertucci · 26/10/2016 18:20

I am not sure if 7to25 is joking - but we went to an Irish Catholic wedding here in England this summer.

The bride and groom asked for money (hate this) and we straw polled other guests and £200 seemed to be the average. Food was indeed hot and was rack of lamb with dauphinoise potatoes (definitely hot).

So in essence, it was exactly the same as any other wedding.

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OlennasWimple · 26/10/2016 18:23

No "cover your plate" expectations (generally - though cash gift requests are becoming more common)

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7to25 · 26/10/2016 20:02

An Irish Catholic wedding in England is surely an Irish Wedding!

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ShelaghTurner · 26/10/2016 20:08

Having been brought up with both I'm not too sure of the difference but DH (English through and through) crawled upstairs at about 2am at his first ever Irish wedding (I had been upstairs with baby dd1) and said "it's mad! They're only just getting going down there!" He maintains that English weddings are nicely wrapped up by midnight. Irish weddings haven't really started then!

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eurochick · 26/10/2016 20:10

In England huge weddings are rarer than in Ireland, so people tend not to invite their cousin twice removed' brother.

Gifts tend to be less lavish and cash is rarely given unless requested (mn objects to this).

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FoxesOnSocks · 26/10/2016 20:17

Catholics mass wise there's usually no candle thingie in England.

Reception wise they usually finish earlier - it's a dj or a band, rather that band followed by a Dj

Food wise there's a big variety you might get in an English wedding (from high tea to a many course meal), whereas in Ireland it's more often than not a traditional affair

Gift wise it's a lot less money as norm (which is why it gets requested is see as rude) and gift list more expected in England, generally vise versa in Ireland

Obviously not all weddings are uniform in either country but mind you I think there's a difference between wedding in east of Ireland and the west

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babyblabber · 27/10/2016 22:02

The most noticeable difference is English weddings tend to end around midnight shortly after the bride and groom leave (yes, they leave their own wedding first!!!!)

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paulapantsdown · 27/10/2016 22:28

You don't really have the next day session either!

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Totallypearshaped · 27/10/2016 23:08

I'm still not sure of your question holly Grin
Have you an invite? Can you give us some clue as to your concerns?

Is it a Church of England wedding in a church and a reception afterward in a hotel.

What do you want to know exactly. Gifts, clothes, customs?

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hollyisalovelyname · 27/10/2016 23:13

Totally
I was just wondering. I've seen loads of threads about weddings on Mumsnet and just wondered.
I haven't been invited to an English wedding.

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MrEBear · 27/10/2016 23:27

Never been to an English or Irish wedding but I can explain a traditional Scottish wedding.

Service is normal early afternoon 1 or 2 pm
Guests then go to reception venue and mill around while B&G get photos
Everyone prepares for sit down meal around 5pm
Cut the cake just before the meal
Speeches traditional after the meal but many opt to have them before the meal
Evening guests usually arrive around 7pm
Aim for dancing to start at 7.30.
Generally they finish about 12.00 (due to not being able to sell alcohol beyond then)



Everyone who is invited to the service is included in the meal, which I'm not sure if that is the same in England.

How does an Irish wedding compare to Scottish?

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Totallypearshaped · 27/10/2016 23:33

Oh, ok.

Well there are so many types of English wedding, it's not just the subject of one thread Halloween Wink

My favourite UK wedding was a Buddhist/ Humanist one held in Edinburgh although a lovely Hindu one near Manchester one comes a close second. Both "English" weddings, i.e. English people getting married Halloween Grin

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Shadowridge · 27/10/2016 23:39

The amount of potatoes at the meal- last Irish wedding i was at had mashed, boiled,roasted and chips!!!Grin

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puckingfixies · 27/10/2016 23:41

The last English wedding I attended was over by 11pm (was a Sunday), the last Irish wedding I was at ended on the following Tuesday (Saturday wedding).

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CointreauVersial · 27/10/2016 23:49

Irish weddings - people often go to the pub before the church (I've been to several where a fair number of the congregation and sometimes even the wedding party, are swaying gently). Heaven knows you need a drink to get through that long service (English ceremonies are way shorter; typically no Communion)!

And, as several others have said, an English wedding reception typically wraps up around midnight, whereas the Irish are barely getting started. That's when the singing really gets going.

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vvviola · 27/10/2016 23:55

The only English wedding I have been at, I was 3 months pregnant so sloped off around 11pm, so can't comment on the time it ended, but I do know that my English friends who came to my Irish wedding were astounded by the fact that BIL (also not Irish so totally bemused) was being taught the Fields of Athenry by DH's work mates in the residents bar at 4am Grin

We had a (for Ireland, especially at the time) relatively small wedding, but again they were surprised by the random cousins etc who were included that we weren't particularly close to.

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BaronessBomburst · 28/10/2016 00:00

Irish weddings last two or three days and I was shocked at what some of the guests deemed as suitable attire for a church. I'd never before seen so much cleavage, makeup, and body glitter. I soon warmed to them though and now find English weddings dull by comparison.

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ScarletForYa · 28/10/2016 00:00

Irish people will pay for a bar extension and the residents bar will stay open till dawn or whenever everyone is finished.

Wads of cash in envelopes are the norm as gifts.

Generally with Irish weddings no expense is spared.

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Tartyflette · 28/10/2016 00:03

Every Irish wedding I've ever been to has had a free bar all night....

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Eevee77 · 28/10/2016 00:04

Well... tell us about your experience of Irish weddings and then we can compare.

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wobblywonderwoman · 28/10/2016 00:11

I think the present expectations are the main difference

We tend to give 180 to 200 or 300 for a family member but in England Maximum I would give is 100

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