Anyone else feeling like the world is against them?

(198 Posts)
spence24 Wed 16-Apr-14 16:56:19

OK, so this may sound like a selfish question and I should be happy for others, but in the last few weeks I've been getting the feeling that the universe just doesn't want me to be pregnant, but everyone else is just fiiiiine...

I found out yesterday that an ex-colleague, who is nearly 40, had never wanted children and was happy being child-free, as well as being told she was infertile, is four months pregnant by accident.

My best friend conceived both her children on her first cycle. My mum had me and my brother by accident. My cousin never wanted children. Her accidental son is nearly ten years old now.

We've been trying for four months now - and I know it is "only" four months, but I'm almost feeling bad for wasting the NHS's money on contraception for the last twelve years as it appears it may not have been needed.

Sorry, I needed to rant as it's bringing me down a bit, and none of my friends know that we're TTC so it's been building up.

Both of my dad's sisters are infertile and I've been told that if we haven't conceived by June I can get some tests done, even though I'm only 28. But they can't do it any sooner as I don't know the reasons behind their infertility as I don't have a relationship with that side of my family.

Is anyone else feeling like this, am I justified in having a "why me?" moment - or am I just overthinking it all?

bessie84 Wed 16-Apr-14 17:19:19

ya not alone, ive been like this recently too. been a state lately, thinking well, why can they do it, but not me? or what am i doing wrong?

keep going, you'll get there, you just have to, it is hard how everyone has babies round you, sometimes 2 or more whilst your still chasing number 1 - but all that heartache and love you have pent inside, will be for a small person - you will get.

i love seeing bfp's from others that have had fertility issues, just hard when it doesnt happen for you. 4 months is no time (2 years and 1 month for us) it'll be your turn soonies.

keep plodding along, doing your best x

Aquarius1 Wed 16-Apr-14 17:33:23

Definitely not alone - I feel the same but after 2 years 1 mth (snap Bessie) and a load of hospital tests I'm starting to feel more philosophical about it and less like it's a personal affront from the powers that be. Tis hard but helps to talk to others about it I find.

bellaboo88 Wed 16-Apr-14 18:17:11

I've only had a few months at it & thought I'd catch first time due to my age...everyone around me is having plenty of accidents.

I know what you mean about contraception lol!! Come & join the may bus, hand holdings free xx

wonkylegs Wed 16-Apr-14 18:23:22

I swear since starting to TTC everyone around me has been having 'accidents' too (my SIL, my DB's partner, friends) On days it does make me a bit depressed. I also feel lousy as I have to be off my normal meds to TTC so for the last 18mths I've felt like crap, can't tell anyone why I've reverted to my decrepit state & have nothing to show for it. When my last period showed up I burst into tears.

Beansprout30 Thu 17-Apr-14 22:47:54

We are only on 2nd cycle ttc and I sometimes have the same thoughts! Dh made a good point though when I told him my friend conceived first time, he said for all we know they could have been trying for longer than my friend let on, same as your colleague, perhaps she was trying for ages and these surprise pregnancies are actually planned!

icy121 Fri 18-Apr-14 11:17:54

Just had a mini-meltdown in the shower due to the same thing! This is 3rd month trying, my cycle is so long (nearly 49 days) and af so light I went to doc who just said "lucky you" and told me to crack on. Just went to a body pump class this morning to take mind off it and there was a pregnant girl in the class which really helped.

I personally feel my body is letting me down and I hate it, which is so unhealthy. When I was younger I suffered with various Non specific eating disorders/depression/self harm and I'm worried more of this failing to conceive will fast track me back to unwell.

Need to focus on the positives, eat well, take care of body and exercise. Rationally I know that, irrationally I want to claw my skin off. Constant battle!!

icy121 Fri 18-Apr-14 11:19:14

*40 days not 49! See it could always be worse!!

Lauraqc Fri 18-Apr-14 17:50:20

Totally get you, spence24! Have been TTC since August and...nothing. Now I've had no period since Jan (that one lasted a whole month from Dec) and all I notice now is other pregnant women and 'luck' stories. I can't be that fabulous to live with and even I feel the need to lighten up! So I have been to Dr and get results from my blood test on Tuesday (now that's all I can think about!) and can't even trough on chocolate all weekend as I'm convinced I'm going to be told to lose weight, probably quite rightly! So, this weekend I intend on grappling DH upstairs and having some fun - someone's got to have some, surely?! Good luck, keep us posted!

sherbertlemon17 Fri 18-Apr-14 22:39:02

Ladies... Please let me join the ranting!! I hate to say it but this is exactly how I feel hmm

I work closely with 6 other women... 4 already have little ones & 3 are pregnant. As I'm sure you can imagine, babies are constantly the topic of conversation. They even have baby dates and I'm the odd one out. I love working with them all but can't help feeling sad that it has happened for us yet.

To make the situation worse, I told one of the ladies we had started ttc and 2 months later she told me she was 4 weeks pregnant and started ttc after us! I'm happy for her, but it's sooooo unfairsad

Lauraqc Fri 18-Apr-14 23:38:36

Argh Sherbet that's so hard sad most of my workmates have children and that's quite a struggle but it's the fact that I'm just about the last one of my group of friends to have children...and some of them are on their second! Just feels very unfair. I'm an eternal optimist so the only thing I know I can do is try and laugh and smile and wait...

boumplj Sat 19-Apr-14 09:02:20

I can relate also. I've been married to my husband for over 10 years and due to his Bipolar Disorder have delayed having children, which has been very difficult at times. I'm the only one out of my friends/family who doesn't have children and had to face the 'so when are you going to have children?' question numerous times over the years, which can be so upsetting to the point where I use to dread going to Weddings/Christenings.

I'm now 34 and realised that I can't/don't want to delay having kids any longer and have accepted that there never will be the perfect time. I'm now on cycle 4 and my heart is saying maybe I've left things too late, although the head is saying its still early days. It comforting to hear everyone's stories so I know I'm not alone.

I like your advice Lauraqc, try, laugh and smile!

Lauraqc Sat 19-Apr-14 10:27:04

Boumplj - yes! Exactly how I feel - rationally it takes a bit of time...secretly I'm annoyed we didn't start trying earlier (I'm almost 33) and that I was taught all those years ago that merely brushing up against a boy in a corridor would be enough!!

I've also been daft enough to be open with my friends/colleagues and said we're trying...I know, I know...I do sometimes feel the unsaid within a conversation. Their problem, not mine. I know they're rooting for me privately!

sherbertlemon17 Sat 19-Apr-14 10:29:26

Boumplj- it's not too late lovely! I think you're right though, there is never a right time so crack on! Hehe! wink

Snap Lauraqc! That's exactly how I feel. I love the optimism though... I'll have to recite it to myself the next time I find myself in a conversation about "little Johnny's sleeping routine"! Haha!

victoria401 Sat 19-Apr-14 11:44:15

Hi lovely ladies! Unless proven otherwise we still have a chance yes? :-)

I'm 34, started ttc when I was 32. Tests galore and should only be a few more weeks til we know the whole picture.

So many people have got preg and had babies since we've been ttc. Some I'm green eyed monster about some I'm so happy for them. One of my colleagues had been trying for 10yrs with failed ivf but randomly fell naturally :-) 5th work mate in less than 2 years announced preg last week. Ha! Feel sorry for the boss having so many ladies out at once! Have 3 off on maternity!

Most of my friends and my sister were within a few months or accidents! None were this long. We are becoming more reclusive and avoiding family do's and the questions! Me and DH both have massive families, loads of uncles/aunts, cousins and all their babies. I think quite often "why us"?!

boumplj Sat 19-Apr-14 12:55:57

Lauraqc - I've also told close friends and family that we are trying. As well as being in shock, everyone has been really supportive. My mum and sister-in-law have been amazing and voices of common sense when I most need them. I also can't believe how easy you think it is to get pregnant until the time you actually start trying, soooooo annoying!!

Sherbertlemon17 - Thank you for the lovely message, on-wards and upwards and all that! ;0)

Victoria401 - I hope you receive some good within the next few weeks. Lovely news about your work colleague who became pregnant after 10 years of trying, there is definetely a chance for all of us x

Lauraqc Sat 19-Apr-14 17:12:15

Right ladies - I'm sensing an overwhelming amount of positiveness here today - let's keep it up! I'm enjoying going out whenever we can and being spontaneous in the meantime...!

boumplj Sat 19-Apr-14 20:22:11

Hear, hear! :0)

victoria401 Sun 20-Apr-14 09:33:19

Boot me out of here I'm having negative thoughts!

sherbertlemon17 Sun 20-Apr-14 09:58:54

Noooo Victoria! Sending positive vibes and hugs your way Hun.

When should you be getting your test results back? I've got an ultra sound in 2 weeks time so know how you feel confused

victoria401 Sun 20-Apr-14 10:08:31

Its hubbys tests I'm worried about! He's got his SA on the 28th and then prob a few weeks until we get results.II've had all my bloods and the ultrasound and have been pronounced "normal". So it is likely to be him. He's worried I will hate him forever more if he can't make babies. Causing a lot of tension between us.

ToAvoidConversation Sun 20-Apr-14 10:25:02

icy is 40 days regular? If it varies go back and see another GP!

We've been TTC for 1 year 5 months and nothing. I start Clomid today for the first time. Trying not to get my hopes up but it basically feels like the whole world is up the duff!!

Lauraqc Sun 20-Apr-14 19:51:49

Victoria - positive please! You must be so nervous coming close to finding any answer...but please stay strong! Like you said - it's not over yet! I keep veering between hoping there's no logical medical answer to any problem (in which case what do I do then) and hoping there's something medically wrong (because who'd wish that on themselves.?!) because then there'd be an answer and hopefully 'fixable'...argh. But, have had a lovely day where neither family have mentioned baby-making and I've eaten chocolate. Now petrified that when I go to the Dr on Tues I'll get told I've got to lose weight before they'll prescribe me Clomid. Knew I should've started dieting last year!!

ToAvoidConversation - everything crossed for you - how exciting to be on that part of the journey!!

icy121 Sun 20-Apr-14 20:11:34

toavoidconversation yeah it seems to be... 38-39 since first true bleed. Rubbish. I don't like the GP much, when I went ages ago with my IBS she just said "lots of people have that". Then first comment with long cycles/pcos was "lots of people have polycystic ovaries" - give a fuck about lots of people, that isn't helping me!! The comments on the nhs page for my GPs are rubbish, so might need a new surgery!

Best of luck with the Clomid, hope it works out for you. Don't know how you're keeping it together after so long trying; I'm a wreck already! X

Solaia Sun 20-Apr-14 20:44:35

Four months really is early days but fingers crossed it happens soon for you.

To keep (sort of) sane I just remind myself that actually, you never know someone else's full story. I play the 'we're not ready for kids, I'm not sure if I even want them' card every time I'm asked because it's nobody's bloody business! Except our fertility consultant, that is. So if I ever get pregnant, no one will realise the struggle we have had and might easily assume we fell pregnant quickly.

So the point is, you have your own path ahead of you - don't focus on the journey of others. thanks

Lauraqc Sun 20-Apr-14 20:56:34

Solaia - totally respect that but I wish my friends had been a bit more honest with me about their story - it's very alienating to feel you're the only one having trouble (if that's even what it is) and with no-one close to speak to who may understand.

icy121 Sun 20-Apr-14 21:04:30

Lauraqc - I don't find my 2 v close friends at all helpful. None of them have kids and after a couple of "I know someone who came off the pill & got pg straight away" type comments I have given up. "How's the baby plan" I say working on it, but not forthcoming, don't want to talk about it. "Don't stress about it, keep plugging away, sure it will be fine". REALLY?! WHAT ARE YOU BASING THIS ON?!!! They're trying to help and I won't throw it in their faces so I sort of simper and say "mm yeah" and promptly change subject, and have a sip of whatever shit non-wine I'm drinking.

Lauraqc Sun 20-Apr-14 21:10:17

Icy - sorry to hear that - not helpful at all! I'm the last of my friends to have children and some are onto their second and some of them have been really good, helpful advice and then some have just chosen to tell a half truth or not talked about it at all. The not talking about it at all I get - it's their decision and that's fine - it's the half-truth I didn't appreciate. Still, I suppose that's why there are brill places like this to come and chat ;)

dildoos Sun 20-Apr-14 21:50:43

May I join the rant please?

Been trying to concieve for 36 months , in mean time best friend had 3rd child now 2! Sil had dd now 18 months and pregnant for 2nd time (12 weeks) my sister has had my nephew now 14 months and myself and DP still trying! We have had tests I am normal he has low count but they won't treat him as I have now just had my 6th miscarriage in these 3 years! Life is not fair! sad
I am now enjoying a period from hell and sad as yet again not pregnant!

Good luck to you all I really hope none of you are still here 3 years on sad

Lauraqc Sun 20-Apr-14 22:42:57

Blimey dildoos that really is some bad luck sad doesn't help with all that action going on round you either...I think you've come to the right place for a rant though if that's any consolation!

I really do wish you lots of luck, you've definitely earned it..!

dildoos Sun 20-Apr-14 23:02:00

Lauraqc thank you for your welcome. I totally feel miserable today as AF here . Will certainly join you all xx

ToAvoidConversation Mon 21-Apr-14 07:56:01

Four months is really early days to be fair. I think I lost my shit about 9 months but I just ended up accepting that I couldn't keep on like that. Feels strange to have finally started drugs though.

3 years? Have you had any treatment?

Hibou7688 Mon 21-Apr-14 08:31:08

Can relate to some of this, I've been off the pill since Aug/Sept.. Still no baby! It's only the last couple of months that I've managed to pinpoint when I ovulate but OH just doesn't 'get it'. Like today, I had a flashing smiley this morning, but we haven't dtd. We did yesterday though so hopefully be ok, and I'll drop it into conversation so that we hopefully do it again later. Luckily everyone in our circle of friends isn't pregnant so I don't have to look at all their baby stuff!

boumplj Tue 22-Apr-14 08:03:19

Good advice Solaia.

Lauraqc I hope your appointment goes well today.

Victoria - don't you go anywhere, we are all here for you. How about you and hubby have a date night, no baby talk just have some fun and connect?

Lauraqc Tue 22-Apr-14 08:28:54

Thank you! Feeling v stressed today on my way to work and just want to skip to this evening! Have a lovely day ladies!

xBlueberry88x Tue 22-Apr-14 12:52:22

Spence I know how you feel and the best thing you can do at the moment is relax.

4 months is early and starting to feel so bad already could cause problems further down the line.

Im on month 13 and increasingly getting depressed and stressed but I know that can make getting pregnant even harder.

Try and concentrate on something else which is hard I know.

This month im going to concentrate on loosing weight and eating healthy.

icy121 Tue 22-Apr-14 18:30:19

I know the reason I'm stressing is due to my cycle & menses itself - there is barely anything there. One day of af is less than 5ml (moon cup) so it makes me anxious. I agree though, 4 months isn't enough to 'worry' over, and if I had a shorter cycle and normal periods I wouldn't be. Terrified something's the matter with me. Knowing I've got 3 more weeks before fertile window (if there is one) even opens is frustrating. The only positive is if last month had been the month, due date would've been Xmas day.

But I appreciate others have been going through this shit much longer than I have, I don't know how you all manage it and stay positive. It's quite inspiring.

Healthy eats and exercise this month.

ToAvoidConversation Tue 22-Apr-14 19:01:03

Are you doing anything like taking temps, etc?

I read 'Understanding your fertility' and that was good for letting me understand what was going on (or wasn't in my case).

Lauraqc Tue 22-Apr-14 21:17:11

Hey all, been to my GP tonight for my blood test results - everything looks just about normal although my LH levels are a little high but not enough to cause concern...apparently I can still conceive even though my af isn't happening so that's good. He was a real stickler for us trying for a full year before he'll even entertain doing anything else but has said if still no af in 6 weeks i've got to go for more blood tests so we'll see...the good bit is that we've got so much going on over the next couple of months that I'm just going to try that good old 'forget about it and see what happens' tactic! The most frustrating bit is that we can't aim the dtd more around a particular time which means lots of it all the time! Luckily we're on a level with that (after early tensions!) and so will just have to keep it up!

I'm definitely starting a health kick this week - destiny is in my hands about that (having said that I may be eating a chocolate egg as I type - I'm not a robot dammit!!)

Mims786 Wed 23-Apr-14 11:39:31

I've been TTC for about 7 months now aged 34 (35 in June) and feel like the green eyed monster too with everyone getting pregnant but me! Last month I thought I was so close and then AF came. Usually she last about 4/5 days but she was 1 1/2 days which was so random as I had so many positive pre BFP symptoms! She also came on April fools day! Not funny!! I cried so much when it happened!!

I would like to ask how do you keep your mind off TTC when that's all you can think about? How do you stop trying without stopping trying?

My periods are 27 days and regularly as clockwork, fit and healthy, even quit my job too take time out from work as a temporary de-stressing and re-focus on my goals.

On average I ovulate between day 11 - 15 from the ovulation tests and mapping my bbt.

I almost feel like giving up. Any advice out there?

sarattc1 Wed 23-Apr-14 14:25:02

i feel this way too sad its such rubbish that we are stable now for a baby and can't even get pregnant but mums who do not deserve one just have babies left and right.

icy121 Wed 23-Apr-14 18:27:40

mims786 I find the only way to keep mind off it is to keep busy. Unfortunately I've been quiet at work recently! Evening and weekends - I do stuff. Gardening, see friends, cook complicated food, read trashy novels, do housework, clean the oven, do a jigsaw - anything to keep your mind on something else. Maybe try to find a part time job to keep you occupied in the meantime? Staying at home and focusing on it won't help.

I used the clearblue smiley face sticks, feel ovulation pinches and then had af 14 days after solid smiley so think I am ovulating.

Going to the gym this evening to keep mind off it all. Can't really be arsed but hey.

I found a girl on a paleo diet forum who had the hypomenorreah (scanty periods) that I have and she got pregnant (albeit ivf but that was because her husband had a failed reverted vasectomy) which has given me hope & helped me chill a bit. For now... If I don't get the bfp this time, I'm going to trot along to a private clinic for tests - throwing money at it will help me at least think I'm doing something to help myself.

For now sticking to a really healthy diet, lots of fruit veg and whole food. 10 portions a day. Woo-sodding-hoo.

Inshock73 Wed 23-Apr-14 18:42:44

Just been reading this thread with huge interest...

I conceived the 1st month we tried last year, I was 39 and DP 36, you can't imagine how relieved I was as I knew ttc gets harder as you get older, I went on to have a mc at 9 weeks. Since then AF has been like clockwork every 26/27 days, OV at 13-15 days, I've had all the tests, scan etc and I'm now labelled as having unidentified infertility. It's like the mc has flicked a switch. I'm now looking at IVF which tbh I can't afford but we both want a family and neither of us have children from previous relationships. Aside from all the obvious stuff like wishing we'd met earlier and ttc sooner, it's made so much harder by just about everyone I know announcing a pregnancy or having a baby in the last 2 years, even friends who didn't want children have had 'surprise' pregnancies!

sherbertlemon17 Wed 23-Apr-14 19:14:55

Hey ladies, just checking in to see how you are all doing.

Lauraqc- good news about the normal results, not so good news on having to wait a year. hmm It's a weird feeling to want nothing to be wrong but at the same time want something to be wrong that can be fixed if you know what I mean. I'm in this predicament myself atm.

I agree with icy, mims. Massively easier said than done but you need to try and keep busy... With anything! I personally like yoga and keeping busy with work.

Not really much to update with me. Still just waiting for my scan next week to come round although I have been having lots of preggo symptoms since the weekend. Not getting my hopes up though because if I've got PCOS like the doctor thinks, then I doubt I even ovulated. Stupid body playing tricks no doubt! confused

dildoos Wed 23-Apr-14 20:37:34

Evening everyone, I have nothing to update you all with other than AF is half way through, been reading a mc book by Marilyn Glenville and she has suggested along with pregnacare conception and well man conception to take 1000mg a day of vitamin c and 1000mg of linseed oil! So we have both started this, also said natural spring water to drink loads of ( I am terrible for fluid intake mainly 2 glasses of some thing a day blush) so have started upping my intake!
I am having NK cells testing June so we are all out to concieve this month as new vitamins got me some preseed equivalent gel and going to try the SMEP plan! If this fails we cannot try next month as you must not be pregnant at all for NK cells test as it is a uterine scrap!

Inshock- mumsnet is the place for you to chat by far we all know that feeling! I too have unexplained infertility but not resting at that have you read about NK cells? I am going to see a prof Quinby in Coventry at a cost of £360 a one visit test and consultation and answers in 6 weeks and she will put you on drugs to help in mean time.
Would you not get IVF on the NHS if you have no children at all?

I haven't ever been offered any drugs by gp or gynae as they said 6 mc just bad luck as chromosome tests and scans all ok- however DP has low sperm count which they won't treat as we get pregnant we just don't carry it every 6+ months ! grrrrrrrr the NHS!

Anyway sorry for my ranting x

Mims786 Wed 23-Apr-14 21:24:26

Thanks icy121 I have been doing all those things and actually. Not quite ready for part time job just yet as I'm enjoying my "temporary retirement". On the plus side I have been working on a Cook book as I love cooking. Opposite to what you suggested, this will be tasty food on a budget!

Currently I'm in my tww as AF is expected this weekend. I know this month I really haven't tried as much, so I'm not expecting a BFP. But then again, you never know!

Lauraqc Wed 23-Apr-14 22:09:17

Evening all! Loads of good ideas flying around tonight about keeping busy and distracting yourself...I've taken up entering competitions and have won some fab prizes since I started in Jan! It defo takes my mind off everything and I get some good stuff as a bonus....the holiday to Barbados in May couldn't have happened if we had children so maybe we're waiting our time for a reason...

Feeling very fortunate tonight about how we are all in different stages and can get great advice from you all about your experiences!

Buzzwords this week then are healthy eating and taking care of our minds and bodies...!

icy121 Wed 23-Apr-14 23:13:59

You won a holiday, lauraqc?! That's amazing! I need to enter comps!

Made a sprouted lentil curry with whole grain rice. Tasted okay I guess. What can you say about lentil curry... At least because it's low fat/calls, you can eat lots?! Possibly not one for mims's recipe book, can't see it being popular.

Oh well there's another day over. 35 days to go...

Lauraqc Thu 24-Apr-14 08:45:00

Yep it's by far my biggest win smile very happy lady! Great distraction and I thoroughly recommend it! I had a weight watchers meal after getting home from work about 8pm and neither of us could be bothered to dtd so that'll have to wait!!

sherbertlemon17 Thu 24-Apr-14 09:32:50

Lauraqc, that's amazing!! Where do you find all these competitions to enter? I think I need to get in on the action!

RoseRadish Thu 24-Apr-14 09:47:50

OP it took us 8 months to conceive DC1 and 18 months for DC2. I remember 4/5 months was a really hard time because you have had your hopes up every month and you start thinking "hang on... is this actually going to happen?"

Then I settled more into the routine of it and tried to get less invested in waiting for results all the time, and it got a bit easier.

I am ashamed to say there were times when I hated pregnant women, and they seemed horribly smug. I'm sure they weren't.

On the bright side - your aunts were infertile but you're just as likely to get your mum's obviously fertile genes. A friend who was "infertile" actually isn't. You're only 28 and you have loads of time, and many ways, to get there.

Lastly - when I was TTC the second time I read in Grazia (so obviously v. scientific! hmm) that you should avoid eating peas(!), and that reflexology can help. I did both and got pg a couple of months later. Now that may be bollocks but it made me feel like I was trying something IYSWIM, and the power of suggestion can be a great thing.

RPopz Thu 24-Apr-14 14:34:24

Can I sit in here with you guys and sulk too? On 7th cycle ttc #1 and definitely feeling like the world is against me right now!

Lauraqc Thu 24-Apr-14 20:40:54

Hell yeah RPopz! I'm feeling quite chilled at the moment but everyone's allowed to have their rant and sulk - it's the right place to come to!!

Sherbertlemon & icy - look at the PrizeFinder.com for inspiration ;) i guarantee that a win gives you a brill adrenaline rush and keeps the low mood at bay!

Lauraqc Thu 24-Apr-14 20:42:33

I can't even count my cycles (even that was a new thing to me until I got on here..!) as I've only had af twice since last August...i'm now poas daily having bulk-bought them from Amazon!!

Mims786 Thu 24-Apr-14 21:28:19

I right with you RPopz. In my 7th cycle and getting no results! I went to the docs today any she is sending me to have my blood tested to make sure I am ovulating. She also said to have my DH sperm count tested too. Fingers crossed everything goes well. I won't know anything until mid to end May if I start my next cycle. (AF due this weekend) fingers and toes crossed she doesn't and I'm still in with a chance. I wish you all the best. Xx

Icy121 I'd like to get know this recipe. Sounds good. I like playing around with different flavours etc. I now won't eat Brussels sprouts boiled in the traditional way. I like mine shredded, sautéed with onions and a touch of garlic in oil and butter nicely seasoned with chestnuts thrown in too when in season! Best thing about it, no flatulence as it's not overlooked. Nice and gently fried. Xx

Lauraqc Thu 24-Apr-14 21:31:00

Wow Mims - sounds like you've got a great GP who's on board already!

RPopz Thu 24-Apr-14 21:40:35

That is good Mims, how did you get to be tested so early? I'm having day 21 and day 2 bloods done but for anxiety / "mental health" reasons rather than reproductive. I'm lucky GP was quite supportive with that tbh. Not sure they'll be willing to do anything else for a while though.

Well here is my rant! I hardly drink, never smoked, never done drugs, eat my 5 a day, given up caffeine and sugar (aka my favourite things!!), never even taken the bloody pill so as not to mess up my hormones! And here we are, 7 months in. I know its not a long time really... just... I kinda assumed that it would've happened by now. My best friend took 10 months to conceive but - and she'd be the first to admit - her diet is pretty appauling and her DH smokes and drinks like a fish. I remember thinking last year "it'll never take us that long, surely!"

Blah.

Lauraqc Thu 24-Apr-14 22:17:27

RPopz - yep very similar - apart from the fact that i'm a bit chubby! Feel like i look after myself ok (should exercise a bit more i suppose) and so does hubby...seems to be no rhyme or reason about it all and i hate stuff i can't control...!

Mims786 Thu 24-Apr-14 22:22:37

Thanks Lauraqc and RPopz. I started with family planning as you do, and the nurse said gather at least 6 months worth of data which I have.
Told my doctor this. Plus I'm borderline turning 35 in the next 2 months. I must admit I actually do like my doctors. Not that I go regularly or anything but each experience has been a good one.

I don't drink, smoke etc either and lead a good healthy lifestyle, DH also quit drinking and smoking, only downside is his coffee intake but has been reducing this.

Any of you live or based in Altrincham, Cheshire?

RPopz Fri 25-Apr-14 13:07:02

Ah that explains it Mims, think Drs are more proactive when you hit the 35 mark!

Lauraqc Fri 25-Apr-14 13:28:38

Ah no Mims I'm in Bedfordshire- miles away! What a shame!

spence24 Fri 25-Apr-14 14:56:57

I know it's been a while since i started this thread - I've had a really busy week so only just been able to get back on to check it! I do feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way! My periods still aren't regular since having my IUD removed - I'm currently on Day 36 with a negative pregnancy test three days ago. The last time I was off contraception was ten years ago and I had a 32 day cycle, so ever since we've been TTC it's been really uncertain!

I've only told my best friend that we're TTC, she also knows about my family history though and has been so great not to push or ask me a lot about how it's going. I feel like I want to tell my mum as she might have more information that she's just never told me before, but I also don't want her to get her hopes up, and start making me feel more pressured, or feel like I've failed her in some way! I'm a terrible secret-keeper too, so this year so far has been a lot of "mmm...." and changes of subject when the babies and family conversation starts!

icy121 Fri 25-Apr-14 18:18:49

Like Lauraqc also feeling chilled atm. I think it's cause I'm out of the hormonal mania that descends around the time of period. Thank god. Trying to be more zen. Hardly googling fertility acupuncture or anything (Altho I confess to giving myself a "fertility massage last night. Jesus.)

Now all anger is, much more healthily, directed towards my job - I hate it! There are a few people there who are out and out c*nts. The only reason I'm not leaving is because of ttc. Additionally, I'm used to working in a high pressured environment, this place is very "public sector". Whilst I hate that at the moment I know that post baby I'll be all over a 3 day a week gig - and a more productive and driven place won't allow that. It genuinely frightens me that if it takes years to conceive then I'll be putting my life on hold for so long; in 18 months I could get a new job, establish myself enough to justify a 3 day week. But I can't risk leaving because if it happens, say, within a month of moving I'm screwed. Also won't qualify for whatever mat benefit they have (my place is statutory, but get to keep car allowance).

Work shmerk. Weekend now thank FUCK. Altho my DPs 2 kids are over, they are 6&8, so not exactly relaxing. At least they're not little & reminders of my own failure this far!

Spence - I think I took 50 days or so from stopping yasmin pill (evil) to getting first true bleed. Synthetic hormones are shit.

Tip to feel happier (corny but works): look at yourself in mirror & smile & smile & smile. It buoys me up. Don't do this if you've been crying though, it's too pathetic for words.

Lauraqc Fri 25-Apr-14 21:06:30

I'm a fellow public sector worker Icy and know what you mean! I do get a very good mat allowance and I'm not even going to look until after we've completed our family - it's just not worth the risk...and my job will be great to go back to 4 days per week. Only downside is that i can never work from home which is a shame!

Very glad it's the weekend, whoop!!!

victoria401 Sat 26-Apr-14 11:19:28

Hi girls, just had a lot to catch up on!

Just started bleeding after being convinced I was preg this month. Gutted. Onto cycle sodding 18 now. Feel like a total failure. Cross with myself for letting myself get convinced, and I'm even still thinking oh maybe the bleeding is not real! Hahaha! Joke! And its Saturday so I can't even take my mind off it with work! I was going to throw myself into housework but kinda just sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Lets swap some happy stories instead. I'm going on holiday in 2 weeks to sunny Dorset. Hired a static caravan, just me and hubby. Its going to be AMAZING AND FUN!

icy121 Sat 26-Apr-14 16:52:30

DP's two kids arrived. One unwell. He took the well one out to run errands for FIFTEEN MINUTES. Ill one chucked up all over her bed in that teeny tiny timeframe. Cleaning up vomit on a massive hangover is a new low (yeah fell off the wine free wagon. Figure since it's still something like 3 weeks til ov it'll be fine...)

Maybe it's karma getting me: you curse and wail about not having a baby, well here's a taste of proper parenthood for you.

Etc.

Roll on Monday?!

Lauraqc Sat 26-Apr-14 17:39:30

Yep much as I can't wait to have children it looks bloody hard and am enjoying the freedom whilst we can...I don't think our sausage dog knows what'll hit him when there's another thing vying for our attention too!!!

Rocs3003 Sat 26-Apr-14 17:50:23

Hi ladies,
Can I get in on the action please.
I just feel like my body is playing tricks on me now.
As soon as we started TTC a few months ago my cycle randomly extended from 28 days (same story for best part of 20 years) to 29 for a bit, and now a regular 30, with worst skin, hair & mood swings in the world. (Mood is probably Partially because of AF & partially because I'm just peed off that it's not happened.)
It's driving me nuts every month wondering "will this be the one". I have full admiration to every woman who's been TTC for months & years.

victoria401 Sat 26-Apr-14 20:08:58

Being a woman sucks sometimes. I cannot even begin to explain things to my hubby!

Mims786 Sat 26-Apr-14 20:45:42

Victoria401 I hear that! What we go through as women!
I went out to a family do last night! Not been out in so long but I thoroughly enjoyed myself and didn't not think about baby making!

Well everyone, as predicted AF is making herself known today. I already knew this therefore don't feel as disappointed as last month! One thing I can look forward to my blood tests in 20 days! This will check if i am ovulating or not!

Icy121 got you message. Will experiment with that! Watch this space!

Lauraqc Sat 26-Apr-14 23:18:31

I'm feeling a bit irrational tonight - having a 'why isn't it happening for us' moment...argh. I've heard perfectly sensible stats about 90% odd getting upduffed within 12 months yet I really didn't think it would take this long for us - naivety I suppose.

Off to visit a friend with her new baby tomorrow. Awesome.

Ah Mims sorry to hear af arrived...

victoria401 Sat 26-Apr-14 23:24:56

I feel ya Laura. I've reached 18months this cycle and the odds were 96.4% or something. Why am I in that tiny % not upduffed?!

victoria401 Sat 26-Apr-14 23:26:05

Oh yeah and then its like 98% in 24 months. I really don't want to be in that tiny 2%!

RPopz Sat 26-Apr-14 23:31:29

Stats are crazy aren't they. You think... that teeny percentage... it won't ever be me!

Just been out for a massive curry. with DH and the in laws. I had wine.... ACTUAL WINE wine wine wine wine

Fuck it all.

Lauraqc Sat 26-Apr-14 23:33:08

It's a conspiracy Victoria - I'm sure of it! It really shouldn't be this bloody difficult!!

Lauraqc Sat 26-Apr-14 23:35:54

Hahaha RPopz! I haven't had wine tonight but have eaten a massive amount of chocolate and actually food generally today...cultivating a very good life-like preggo looking belly!

dildoos Sun 27-Apr-14 08:19:22

Good morning and for first time in weeks I am feeling positive :-)

Laura, Victoria and roc! Sorry for AF roc ( bloody things arrive just to let you know it's not your turn and it makes that 100% worse! If the way you found out was via free spa day ticket posted through the letter box that would make things so much nicer hey??)
Laura and Victoria- stats are rubbish for us women really- why is it the ones that get up duffed alcoholics and drug users or one night stands? I thought once maybe this was the way forward but luckily stopped ones self by being to poor and not fancying an STD to venture down these roads wink

Right back to my positivity yup I am on cycle 37, but I have had miscarriages so that's a positive , right? Means I can get pregnant!

So this month I am using my clear blue fertility monitor, I have been taking pregnacare conception and 1000mg vitamin c as read good to avoid miscarriage and I am going to try for first cycle ever the concieve plus lubricant apparently makes a perfect environment up there wink also I am going to try SMEP ( sperm meets egg plan) for anyone oblivious to this plan you start. DTD on day 8, then every other day until you ovulate ( highly rx a monitor for this as you know exactly when your high days are) on ovulation you DTD every night for 3 nights, then you miss a night and then have one last try smile.

So if after all this and 2 holidays in may I am not on a successful pregnancy we are going to head for IVF we have saved for 3 goes so here's hoping our savings will be put to better use on a new kitchen!

Has anyone any other tips for me to try I. My long list?

Anyway happy Sunday ladies xx

victoria401 Sun 27-Apr-14 08:35:01

Wow dildoos what a plan! We had intended doing smep last month but dh was being difficult! Got into bed naked waiting for him on cd8 but he comes to bed at 1am and I can't keep my eyes open! Ended up dtd morning on cd9, cd11 and cd13. I ovd on cd12 according to my opk so didn't even dtd on the right day!It was just doomed! Hope you have better luck. My dh just finds dtd a chore and its so hard to coax him, so much sodding effort. Wish we'd just get preg so we don't have to bother having sex ever again!

Im glad you see your mc as a positive. I think I would too in a way. Shows you CAN get preg. Very best of luck x

What I don't get about alcho druggie people getting preg.... They tell us 101 things to avoid, booze being one, to give us our best chance of getting and staying preg. How come these malnourished addicts get preg?! Then their babies just get taken away and put up for adoption where no one wants them coz they were born addicted to crack and might have problems later on. was watching that Wanted a family of my own the other night

Lauraqc Sun 27-Apr-14 12:45:18

Loving the positivity dildoos!! I agree with you, it's shows you're capable of it which is a good thing...

Have just discovered SMEP (hilarious name) but I think I'm still one step behind it with not knowing for sure when/if I ov...I'm poas daily and nothing yet...I think I ov'd around the 18th-22nd for past 2 months (can't count in cycle days as I apparently have no cycle atm!!) so will carry on into May doing that and see if I'm reading my bod right? Meanwhile - not dtd much this week and have been promised tonight...! It's tiring dtd every other night but at least if I do ov, there's some baby juice just waiting, whenever it happens!

Feeling much more positive today (will get to hold a one-month old today and sniff him a bit!) and have the most fabulous trip to London on Thurs and Fri staying 5*, personal stylist, helicopter, speedboat, spa...yes a competition win...couldn't have done that if i was upduffed could I?! Every cloud again....!

RPopz Sun 27-Apr-14 13:13:03

That's one heck of a plan! We did smep this month kinda. Had to miss ovulation day as DH was working 8am - 8pm that day and I was working 8pm - 8am!! angry Then we did a couple of days after but missed the last day cos we ended up having a row instead... lol. Pretty sure its not paid off in any case. Good luck with it all Dildoo smile

RPopz Sun 27-Apr-14 13:13:26

That sounds amazing Laura - enjoy! envy

Lauraqc Sun 27-Apr-14 13:29:28

RPopz - that annoys me so much when you have a row instead - I feel like it puts us back a whole month grrr but at the same time there's no way i'll dtd feeling angry!!

I know I can't wait smile looking forward to lots of dtd!!!

dildoos Sun 27-Apr-14 14:36:25

Wow Laura yes your right you couldn't do all that preggers so ENJOY!

dildoos Sun 27-Apr-14 14:40:51

Rpopz we argue too around the important time I think it's almost like its so important to be DTD we get stressed and we then just blow and have a ding dong then it blows over to the next time! Grrrrrrrrrr .

Totally agree about the adoption thing unsure if I could go down that route, hast off to those that can it all seems so very sad and unsure I am mentally strong enough to adopt !

They should be sterilised if they get pregnant once and don't live up to the challenge of motherhood! Not left to be able to keep breeding and having numerous children that are taken away just not fair on the children at all.

icy121 Sun 27-Apr-14 16:14:35

My OH hates doing it whilst feeling under pressure, as I guess all men do. We've dtd once when he felt beholden to and it was awful. Since then trying to keep 'the spark' there - generally by way of blowjobs "as a treat" whilst I'm on the rag. Seems to keep him interested! Also shows it's not all about babies and I still love him enough to lick his willy. Aww.

We are going to smep this month, tho thinking about it don't ov til like cd25 or something so maybe not start in earnest quite as early as day 8...! dildoos I've got the clearblue detection sticks, bought preseed and softcups (trap the sperm by te cervix?! Give it a go..) and eating like Gwenyth Paltrow. I'm doing a "daily fertility smoothie" and salad, as per the natural fertility diet thing that's circulating online. Taking herbs too, agnus castus, red raspberry and dong quai. A veritably parody of someone ttc.

Lauraqc - just logged onto prize finder! Want in on the action!

Adoption - think I agree with not being that keen, it's incredibly selfish as there're so many unwanted babies, but my craving is for the whole experience, to be pregnant and create someone from us. It's a bit like sperm donation, I'd want my OH's baby, not some random DNA.

sherbertlemon17 Sun 27-Apr-14 17:09:24

Laura that sounds amazing!!

So over here the preggo symptoms continue but as always frer says no! hmm My body just can't make up its mind what it wants to do... Way too many symptoms for them to be in my head! Oh well.

Icy that make me chuckle! "I still love him enough to lick his willy"!! Been there! Haha!

RPopz Sun 27-Apr-14 17:20:16

Haa! Icy that made me laugh too. Willy licking is my tool of choice for getting my own way re: babymaking! grin

dildoos Sun 27-Apr-14 20:19:06

Icy willy lickin is love grin this has made me chuckle x

victoria401 Sun 27-Apr-14 22:17:34

I've been watching way too many adoption programs on tv lately! I don't think I could do it. I doubt we'd get through the panel at the start anyway. My past mental health probably would go against me too unfortunately, although I've been fine for at least 6 years. Plus the child you will adopt is not a tiny baby placed into your arms..... Sigh

Me and dh argue about not dtd enough too. We went from a few times a year to trying to do 3 times a week! Very difficult. Just wish I could get preg so we could go back to how it was.

icy121 Mon 28-Apr-14 21:56:21

Read in Zita West book that saliva basically destroys sperm. The enzymes that break down food work in the same way! No one ever said that before!

I wouldn't pay for Zita clinics (charlatan) but that one tip is probably worth the cost of kindle book. Licking willies definitely to be confined to rag week now!

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 28-Apr-14 23:57:48

Hi Spence

I'm glad you created this post as all what you have wrote I have been feeling as well and wanting to express but have not brave enough to create a post!

All but one of my close friends have children, a good friend is pregnant and another just had a baby, another friends three family members are all pregnant at the same time. All acquaintances i know have children, the people on my course all have children (im the only one without). I also feel Everyone seems to just have it all happen so easy however when it comes to me it seems so much more difficult to achieve.

But as many posters have pointed out on various posts on Mumsnet ,for all we know those people that seem to have it happen so easy may have actually been trying for sometime so i try and remember That. Doesn't stop me having my why me moments either although i'm always careful to outwardly never show it to those near and dear.

xxxx

impatientlywaiting14 Tue 29-Apr-14 00:08:33

Forgot to say no it doesn't sound selfish at all xx

Lauraqc Tue 29-Apr-14 08:42:30

Hi all! Welcome Impatient! Sounds like you're in the right place...frustrating isn't it?

I'm attempting ignorance this week - ignore all thoughts, concentrate on work/weekend/anything else in attempt to stay calm!

Held my friends 9 week old at weekend, amazed at how not-nervous I was with him! Just jiggled him about when he grumped and wriggled, was lovely! It WILL happen, just waiting my turn...

Forgot to say am sitting on train opposite not one but TWO preggo ladies (there's only 4 seats for gods sake!)...yep it's going to be that sort of a day...!

sherbertlemon17 Tue 29-Apr-14 18:28:13

Bloody typical Laura! Haha!

Welcome impatient! Feel free to rant and rave... The rest of us do.

Scan tomorrow! shock Not sure whether to be pleased the allies rolling or be scared about results confused

ToAvoidConversation Wed 30-Apr-14 08:50:32

What's your scan for sherbet?

I had a monitoring scan yesterday because I'm on my first cycle of Clomid. Scan showed a dominant follicle so looks like ovulation is imminent. (I don't ovulate much so this is good news).

Friends had a baby during the night and another one announced a pregnancy yesterday. We're now at 18 months TTC (TTC longer than the 'just had a baby couple' have even been fogegher so hopefully this is our month!

smile

Lauraqc Wed 30-Apr-14 11:13:59

ToAvoid - great news you're on the Clomid (seems to be the proper start to good things!) and Sherbert hope your scan goes well today!

Still blocking all thoughts out today and will do for the rest of the week!

Icy - hope you find your winning streak with the PrizeFinder!!!!

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 30-Apr-14 22:24:02

Thanks for the welcome Lauraqc and sherbertlemon17 smile

Lauraqc yes it is very frustrating. it's nice to vent on here, i'm starting to feel better already smile

That's a good idea try to keep your mind busy and focus on other things i know that's really hard though. maybe create yourself a project to work on? Awww bless to you holding the baby. Its weird as seeing baby's doesn't affect me. I met up recently with my friend who's not long had a baby and had lovely cuddles it brightened my day smile

Its just when i see pregnant lady's or people announce their pregnancy I feel the familiar twinge in my heart and my stomach drop with disappointment. Its much easier with people i know though than a stranger as its easier to be genuinely happy for people i care about if that makes sense.

ahh to seeing the two pregnant lady's is always the way. i was on the bus today not a busy bus either and see a pregnant lady i had not to think about and repeated in my head like a mantra my turn will come lol.

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 30-Apr-14 22:26:51

Sherbertlemon17 Hope your scan went ok xx

HI Icy how are you? you were very helpful on another thread smile

How is everyone else doing ? xx

victoria401 Thu 01-May-14 10:17:44

Cd3 today and I always feel better in myself when I'm on af. Not a care in the world. No stressing about dtd at the right time, whether or not I've ovd, symptom spotting on the 2ww..... Long weekend to look forward to and then only a 2 day week before I go on hols! And its my fertile week then and we can bd all we like with no thought of work for nearly a fortnight! Woohoo!

ToAvoidConversation Thu 01-May-14 11:11:33

Victoria I know what you mean. I usually head straight for a cold alcoholic beverage. I'm dying of hay fever just now but don't want to take any antihistamines because of TTC whereas with AF I would probably just take them!!

victoria401 Thu 01-May-14 12:19:05

What do antihistamines do to ttc?! I know nothing! I take them occasionally as I get hayfever (but not on workdays coz of the aircon).

ToAvoidConversation Thu 01-May-14 14:19:55

Haven't read too much but supposedly they can dry up CM. (But then so can clomid and I'm taking that too!)

icy121 Thu 01-May-14 18:03:49

I read that about antihistamines too. So I've not taken them. Also ibuprofen. Can't remember why not to take them, but there was a reason.

SMEP starts fully this weekend. Ov due around the 12th and I'm honestly feeling sick at the thought of the 2ww, the worry, the excited 'what if', hoping so hard and then the absolute fucking plummet into tears and anger and WHY FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY rage that's more than likely to happen on 26th, when I'm sat at my stupid fucking sodding desk, surrounded by colleagues, not friends, all of those fuckers have kids no bloody problems lucky for them.

I think I need to re-set my mindset to be one that 'it isn't going to happen, your body is fucked, your periods are fucked, it's not going to happen, don't be down about it, it is what it is'. But then I worry that that negative mindset will make it even less likely. Think myself out of it.

HOW IS IT THAT FUCKING DRUG TAKING, BINGE DRINKING FUCKING TEENAGERS MANAGE IT? I SEE HUGELY OVERWEIGHT WOMEN ON THE TUBE WITH BABY ON BOARD BADGES - - HOW DO YOU MANAGE IT?!

I HATE THIS. I can't get a new job because 'what if', but what-fucking-if may well end up being 'not for you'.

It's sickening.

Sorry, in a proper 'why is the world against me' mood. Need to rail.

sherbertlemon17 Thu 01-May-14 19:43:43

Icy it really is shit isn't it! Don't be too hard on yourself Hun... Easier said than done I know hmm

Thanks for all the support ladies! My scan went as well as it could have I guess. There looking in to whether I have PCOS or not. Upside I didn't need an internal because whatever she was looking for was clear; downside I nearly wet myself after having to drink sooooo much! I was jiggling about all over the place and the appointment was half an hour late!!

Not sure if I'm looking forward to finding out the results or not.

How's everyone else holding up?

impatientlywaiting14 Thu 01-May-14 20:54:18

Hi Victoria401
I find that too with AF I almost treat it as a break from ttc despite the other discomforts that come with AF. I treat myself to a little drink and try to find a positive flip side to it not happening that month, helps a little bit xx hope things are settled between you and oh now and great no work for a while woohoo hope you have a great Hol lots of baby dust smile

impatientlywaiting14 Thu 01-May-14 20:56:50

Hi ToAvoidConversation its a pain isn't it all these different recommendations about what this does and what that does sad hope your doing ok apart from the hayfever xx

sherbertlemon17 Thu 01-May-14 21:03:06

Also... Icy just remembered that I think ibuprofen is linked to miscarriage. Not sure where I heard it or how I know that but it rings a bell.

impatientlywaiting14 Thu 01-May-14 22:47:05

Icy sorry to hear your having a tough time yes it is crap sad

I totally get the situation about being in limbo with getting a new job as well, you don't want to make the jump to a new job incase you do get the wonderful bfp and wont know where you stand but at the same time you don't want to find yourself months down the line in the same job and no sign of a BFP xx

I'm looking at getting a new job after being off work over a year due to illness and redundancy and a bit torn ....

Hope you are feeling a bit better after your rant take care of yourself xx

impatientlywaiting14 Thu 01-May-14 22:52:06

HI Sherbert

Glad to hear scan was ok and yes at least it wasn't an internal most uncomfortable (i find them painful myself) especially with a full bladder!

And half hour late typical!

Im sure all will be ok and keeping my fingers crossed for you

xx

ToAvoidConversation Thu 01-May-14 23:54:22

Icy you need to give yourself a break and enjoy the life you have at the moment until you get your BFP. I hope you don't have as long to wait as me but it can really eat away at you.

dildoos Fri 02-May-14 11:31:09

Icy- how you feeling today? We all know exactly the feelings your feeling, they are totally fine to have the feelings and maybe just maybe this is your time! At the same time could you maybe look to change jobs? I can't imagine with being with just colleagues day in day out, maybe if you could find a job which had lovely people in this would help the days?

SMEP has started in our household day 13 today, we have been religious day 8, day 10, day 12, not a high on the monitor yet but have had the moderate sign since day 8 so thinking tomorrow or Sunday a high where we can do every nightshock for the 3 nights hopefully over bank holiday?!

Been taking lots of supplements both DP and I which were recommended for our multiple miscarriages and his low crazy formed sperm! However first 2 weeks at that so will take 3 months at least to see a difference I believe.

How's every one else?

X

victoria401 Fri 02-May-14 18:35:39

Hi girls, happy Friday :-)

icy I hope you feel a little better today, I feel your pain though....

sherbert I'm sorry to hear scan was delayed! The first one I had was late and I was absolutely dying! Luckily the 2nd was actually 20 mins early! I needed an internal one too though but they let u empty your bladder inbetween. I hope the results are good. Did you have the scan because of blood results? I had slightly high LH.

I know what you been about the job thing too. I was offered new training and responsibility in my current job and I was scared of accepting in case I became preg and would no longer be able to do it. It was something I really wanted to do so I accepted. I've been doing it 13 months now! You just got to go for it!

Hope you're all doing lovely things on the weekend.

impatientlywaiting14 Fri 02-May-14 21:03:35

Hi ToAvoidConversation Hope your well

Icy hope your feeling better today xx

Hi dildoos Thanks so much for clarifying the SMEP in an earlier post i kept seeing it all over mumsnet but was oblivious to what that meant!
Glad to hear your keeping up with the SMEP and keeping my fingers crossed for you with the supplements xx

Happy Friday Victoria
Know what you mean about the job thing you just have to make the leap smile

sherbertlemon17 Sat 03-May-14 00:06:01

Thanks impatient and Victoria. I haven't had any bloods done yet. My mum has a history of dodgy periods and I haven't had a period for 4 months now so the doctor suggested that a scan would be best first.

No doubt I'll have some bloods taken when the results are in confused

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 03-May-14 09:50:07

Hi Sherbet

ahhh i see hopefully its something quite incomplex to sort out that's causing it fingers crossed for you , I know the not knowing is no fun is it sad

(p.s how do you do the different faces on here? I can only do a smile or sad face)

Lauraqc Sun 04-May-14 15:12:33

Yoo-Hoo ladies! Back from a lush weekend away in London doing all sorts of stuff I couldn't have done if we had a little one! Was brilliant!

Back to the drawing board now though with supplements and ov tests and feeling calm again today. Still no af, not even a little sign of it! Had my regular acupuncture the other day and was almost convinced it'd come but no.

Seems like loads of you have been on here and sorry to hear some of you are feeling blue sad but the sun is shining and it's a bank hol weekend (even though I'm working tomorrow one of the busiest days of the year!!) so stick a smile on for us all!!!

dildoos Sun 04-May-14 17:49:25

Lauraqc glad you had an amazing weekend and made the most of being a couple. Did you go sight seeing or just lay ins and drinking? Or both?

We are off out tonight first time in along time so very excited smile

I am going to actually drink winewinewinewinewinewinewinewine and give myself a break grin

May actually regret it tomorrow but hey oh off I go smile

RPopz Mon 05-May-14 09:51:30

Hi ladies, hope you're all having a wonderful bank holiday! Just wanted to pop in with a little ray of hope.... had my totally unexpected BFP this week, cycle 8! Am crossing EVERYTHING it will stick. So the world is not totally against us! Good luck to you all x

sherbertlemon17 Mon 05-May-14 15:25:41

Thanks impatient, I hope you're right! And I'm on my phone and the faces just come up at the top. Sorry that's not much help!

Laura- glad you had a good time! Loving the positivity grin

Dildoos- hope you're feeling ok today! Haha!

Rpopz- congratulations!!!! FX for your little sticky bean smile

Lauraqc Mon 05-May-14 16:18:16

RPopz!!! Yaaaaay!!! Congratulations! Amazingly brilliant news for a gorgeous sunny bank hol!!!

We tried for 7 months while I was 27 and DH 25. By the end I was convinced I was not going to be able to do it naturally.

Got pregnant on cycle 7 using acupuncture. Don't lose hope.

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 05-May-14 18:53:41

Hi Sherbet Not to worry smile)

Hi laura Glad to hear you had a great weekend and a break away from ttc

Did you have a good time Dildoos

Rpopz Yayyyyyyy congratulations lovely news smile)

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 05-May-14 18:55:02

Welcome Some dizzy smile

Thank-you for words of encouragement and congrats on pregnancy

dildoos Mon 05-May-14 19:42:04

CONGRATULATIONS rpopz that's made my night :-)
Thank you all had a fab night ( had cheeky cocktails wink) back on the wagon to keep on plodding towards a sticky!

How's is everyone doing? Have you all had a lovely bank hols? We had glorious sunshine, we are now gloriously red grin

impatientlywaiting14 Tue 06-May-14 09:27:05

Glad you had a good time Dildoos smile

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 07-May-14 15:15:41

Hello ladies hope its ok to share I took a test and Got a BFP !

dildoos Wed 07-May-14 17:22:23

Congratulations impatiently! Wow of course it's ok to share! Fab news!

I am going to ask for opinions now......... Day 18 still no positive on ovulation monitor hmm but had correct fluid if you know what I mean on day 14. What does this mean ?

sherbertlemon17 Wed 07-May-14 18:24:07

Impatient that is amazing news!! So glad you shared!! grin Congratulations huns.

Dildoos- afraid I haven't the foggiest... Sorry.

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 07-May-14 19:30:04

Thank-you Dildoos and Sherbertlemon grin

I am more sensitive now to people ttc and always thought if i get a bfp id be sensitive about it. I also didn't know if there were any members having a bad day on here today xx Dildoos what ovulation monitor is it your using?

Lauraqc Wed 07-May-14 21:08:50

Impatient AMAZING NEWS! CONGRATULATIONS!! So pleased for you, yay!

I just took a test and got a bfn!! ha oh dear feel a failure!! But I've had no signs just extra 'moist' over last few days but ov test doesn't agree so thought i'd best check!!

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 07-May-14 21:24:32

HI lauraqc thank-you

Awwww im sorry to hear that was you due on soon? hugssssss xxxx

Lauraqc Wed 07-May-14 21:53:38

Ah that's part of the issue Impatient - I haven't had af since January...! So no idea what cycle is doing - it's like aiming at the sky for a star!!

Do you feel any different?!

dildoos Wed 07-May-14 21:57:20

Laura- sorry you had a bfn, are you using ovulation sticks?
Impatient- your so kind thinking of all is but everyone deserves a BFP happiness even you! Get shouting it when your ready grin

I have a clear blue monitor x

Lauraqc Wed 07-May-14 22:06:48

Dildoos - yep am poas daily for last 15 odd days...just randomly started on them cos no af so can't even guess when I may ov...it's bloody tiring dtd every other night ha!!!

dildoos Wed 07-May-14 22:18:50

I imagine so lol, we go for the every other night thing! Why have you not had a period since January? Have you ever taken Angus castus? This apparently can delay periods for weeks on end x

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 07-May-14 22:22:11

That sounds a nightmare lauraqc sad I hope you get answers soon could your docs not do a blood test for you to try and see whats going on?

I am in shock it hasn't sunk in yet not feeling different at the moment smile

awwww thanks Dildoos I know of course people would express happiness but i know on my bad days i couldn't help feel sad when hearing of others BFPs although i would never express that xx

I'm not sure how the cb monitor works. Its hard say about the ahem "fluid" but i get it around 6 days before any sign of a positive opk. its hard to measure against other people though as our cycles are all different i'm sorry if i have not been much help xx

Lauraqc Wed 07-May-14 23:01:15

Nope never taken it! Came off pill in Aug and thought things were regulating a bit and then nothing! Have had blood test and all ok there but Dr not concerned till we've tried for a year so in a bit of a limbo right now til Aug..!

Impatient I'm so pleased for you! I got lots of joy when someone shares big news like that!

impatientlywaiting14 Thu 08-May-14 06:40:34

Lauraqc I hope you get an answer either way soon!! that would drive me mad no AF and no explanation why sad surely that cant just leave you in limbo like that until august?!

Thanks so much so sweet of you smile xx

sherbertlemon17 Thu 08-May-14 18:25:15

I know exactly how you feel Laura! No pill for me since the end of December and still no AF since January for me too!

I also got my ultra sound results back today too and apparently everything is normal and "no actions required". I don't know whether to be happy or not. It's good that I'm ok, but it's frustrating that I might have to wait until next January to get any help from the doctor.

And to add to that, I've heard that there are rumours circulating at work that I'm pregnant because I've had a few appointments recently... Now I've got to make another one! Grrr! confused

impatientlywaiting14 Thu 08-May-14 22:18:45

Glad to hear your scan results come back ok Sherbert x

I know what you mean your grateful there is nothing wrong to speak off, but it doesn't bring you any closer to an explanation confused

That's the last thing you need the rumors circulating at work and a focus on that, some people are such pains at times hmm hugs xxxx

Lauraqc Thu 08-May-14 22:52:41

Ah Sherbert glad to hear your scan was ok - weird to feel you'd almost rather there be something wrong so it can be 'fixed' isn't it?! Still no sign of ov but have been more...er...moist recently so not sure what the hell is going on...! Kinda trying to put it all out of my mind til July but it's so hard!

icy121 Sat 10-May-14 15:50:15

Hi all

Not allowed myself on here for a while to stop obsessing. 3rd day in a row of negative clearblue opk, was due to o on Monday but fuck knows now.

Good news on rpopz and impatiently waiting! So good it's happened, fingers crossed for you both!

I've spent £325 I don't have on a work suit to invoke Sod's law and set up a meeting/interview for a new job. Still terrified of the next two and a bit weeks and likely bfn.

Very blue, really. Ah well man up and crack on. No point wallowing!

X

Lauraqc Sat 10-May-14 16:52:51

Hi Icy - I've watched from afar a bit this week too - mainly cos work has been manic!

Keep positive - I love the fact you're invoking sod's law by buying a new suit!!! We're off on holiday soon so hoping that does it for us!!!

Chin up!

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 10-May-14 17:56:53

HI Icy

Pleased to hear from you and hope you have been ok xx

Thanks so much smile Well only last week i had an in law of my o.h. talking to me about our finances as she doesn't think were in the correct position financially as i am yet to find a new job (after a year off due to redundancy and operations). She was concerned about me falling pregnant before i can secure maternity pay in a new job.

4 days later I find out im pregnant how's that for invoking the law of sod (for her not me) smile

Go for it icy, you deserve to be in a job that makes you happy. Are you setting up the meeting/interview for before you find out if you have a bfn or not?
xx

icy121 Sun 11-May-14 10:27:26

Meeting is tomorrow. Got another negative on ovulation stick his morning. Being held hostage by my body and I hate it. Long cycles and then crazy light periods just make me worry so much it's not 'right'. Not fair! Like being kicked in the guts every morning as a reminder of how shit my body is. Weekends are worse as there's time to wallow.

Lauraqc Sun 11-May-14 10:42:05

Icy hope all goes well for the meeting...sorry to hear you're wallowing at the moment sad i have no cycles at all (no af since Jan) and also in nomansland...we can wallow together! I am also poas daily and...well...nothing. Grrr. The only thing getting me thru is that I'm going on hols at end of May for a week and when I get back I'm going to let rip at the Dr and force some action! Remind me how long you've been ttc..?

impatientlywaiting14 Sun 11-May-14 11:36:22

Good luck for your meeting Tommorow Icy

That sounds like a nightmare, i'm sorry your having such a tough time of it sad. I really hope the meeting pays off and once your in a new job that you feel more contented in, it will help take your mind off things. Being in a job you hate only makes you focus on your issues more, been there.
hugssss xxxx

impatientlywaiting14 Sun 11-May-14 11:39:16

Sorry to hear you having a tough time too laura. Good on you your doctor needs a boot up the backside lol xx are you going anywhere nice for your hols? smile

icy121 Sun 11-May-14 11:49:17

laura what sort of country do we live in where no period since JANUARY is something that doctors don't do anything about?! It beggars fucking belief. The collective knowledge of the female endocrine system seems to be to be absolutely pitiful. We probably know more about the surface of fucking Mars than our hormones. I'm angry now, on yours and all of our behalf! That is seriously shitty, kudos for keeping your chin up. I'd be climbing the walls.

I feel bad now, as compared to your situation I'm being a complete baby. I have pretty long cycles, yes, but at least I have cycles to speak of.

Can off the pill last November, been at it since.

Friends visited with their baby yesterday. She told me how she's come off the pill a year before trying, then when they did try it happened first go. Explained to me how she got to understand her cycle, "you have a fertile window, I had an app that told me when it was" etc - I played completely dumb. I'd rather she had a nice time telling me "how to" rather than listen to me wang on.

Sorry you're having such an awful time. Have you googled what you want to get from the gp? In my experience, taking an American approach (ie go in and tell then what you want) tends to yield more results. Failing that, do you have health insurance through work? My bupa policy doesn't cover fertility treatments, but I do think there's scope to go and get my dodgy periods investigated, having read the wording carefully?

Best wishes
X

Lauraqc Sun 11-May-14 18:43:56

Thanks all smile just got back from cinema seeing Bad Neighbours - laughed our arses off the whole way thru....highly recommended!!

Well I came off pill in Aug 2013, then first proper af Oct and then one in Dec but that lasted a whole month....went to Dr in Dec and said this is weird and I got brushed off. I was told 'your body is getting back to normal' and so left it to mid-March to go again. Had a blood test and all results normal (and got less brushed-off). Got to go back in about 4 weeks for another if still no af. I also have acupuncture every 3-4 weeks (did before anyway) and even he can't bring on af!! I'm not climbing the walls (yet) but it'd be nice to know where I stood!! I agree with you that I need to take a stronger more American stance with the Dr - by day I'm a professional woman and I would NEVER take someone just brushing me off but I seem to just accept it when a Dr is telling me...?!?!?

I won a holiday to Barbados which I think should take my mind off it all!! I'm working on the reverse psychology that since I've got stuff planned it may just happen and surprise us!!

I think when we get to a year (Aug) and hear about referral times etc I may just have to throw money at it! I don't get any private healthcare but do have the one where you can recoup money from stuff I pay for myself.

What sort of investigations have you had? x

spence24 Mon 12-May-14 14:50:26

Hi ladies!

So glad to see this thread still going strong - I know I'm not on here much but the past few weeks have been crazy. Self employed and I've been moving house, no time for anything else!

Update on my situation. Got to CD36 last month, took a test and got a faint BFP. OH and I were in a bit of shock, weren't expecting it as we thought we'd missed the boat that month but still a bit giddy!

That was Saturday morning. We went out for the day with his daughter so couldn't talk about it, but when we got home that evening AF had arrived. Much amount of confusion and disappointment as we concluded it was a chemical pregnancy and just not taken.

So we're into month 5. OH was incredibly lying disappointed, more than me, and is now on a mental baby-making overhaul in our diets and lifestyle to make sure the next BFP sticks. Just coming in to fertile week now, so I guess only time will tell!

spence24 Mon 12-May-14 14:51:12

And apologies for the autocorrect. Am sat in the car outside the school waiting for stepdaughter to finish!

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 12-May-14 18:17:28

Wow Laura congrats on winning the holiday grin that is greattt, that should defiantly help take your mind off things, you sound in desperate need of a Holiday too with everything going on medically never mind adding ttc in the mix! I may take you up on the recommendation for Bad Neighbours sounds like like you let your hair down and had a good time smile xxx

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 12-May-14 18:23:38

Hi Spence smile so nice to hear from you glad your ok. Woww it sounds like you have had a lot going on hope the move went well and wasn't too stressful. Im really sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy sad
kudos to you for keeping positive though I really hope you get your BFP soon and it sticks xxxx

Lauraqc Mon 12-May-14 21:47:50

Spence - so so sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy - nature is a bloody cruel thing...

Nature, as it turns out, is also a complete fluke. Having waited since Jan for af and being spurred on by you wonderful ladies I decided to make the second blood test appt today before we go on hols at end of May. So what happened when I got home? A very faint beginnings of af! Wow. Along with 'pinging' feelings in lower tum. Hmmm. More than the entire time since Jan - watch this space!

Thanks Impatient - I think Barbados may cure any condition!!!

icy121 Sat 17-May-14 08:56:50

How's everyone getting on?

Lauraqc - I'm v pleased for you that something has finally happened! I'd have been going mental. Are you still going to push the doc for an answer? I've not pressed the doc yet for me re pregnancy, however have managed to push for certain treatments for other issues (physio, benzos and outpatient CBT course). Just find if you go in informed it's harder to be fobbed off? But I do agree, docs have an amazing ability to fob you off. When I went about my ibs she just said "oh lots of people have that" - great!

My clearblue stick says I'm having an lh surge now, so, on the basis it's a bfn, this cycle will be 49 days/50 days. Fuck my body.

Anyway, my job meeting went well, and I've got an interview on Tuesday. The place is hiring 2 roles. My colleague is going for the other job - he's quite good fun so it would be nice to go with a 'buddy'. Focusing on a new better job takes the edge off this pregnancy thing, if anything getting knocked up now would be an inconvenience!!

Come on Sod's law, work your magic....

Happy sunny weekend everyone! X

Lauraqc Sat 17-May-14 18:16:14

Hi all, hope everyone's been having a lovely day today in the sun??

Icy - glad to hear your meeting went well...now waiting for Sod's Law to kick in for you..! I agree it's good to have a different focus...I think we're pretty alike - I too have had IBS in the past which I've basically had to manage myself. Very exciting that you're having a surge now - lots of dtd planned I hope..!!

Well af never kicked in for me. I've had lower stomach pains daily this week, especially in left ovary area. Really thought it was coming. Done test - bfn - before you ask!

Have felt very down in the dumps this week, today being no exception. DH was quite sympathetic for a short while and now just keeps asking 'what's wrong with me' as I dissolve into tears yet again. Shite. Have booked a second blood test for Thursday but can't get an appt to even talk about the results til 11th June!! Something is going to have to happen I can't wait that long...

Lauraqc Thu 22-May-14 20:12:13

Hello you're all very quiet...hope everyone's ok...?

impatientlywaiting14 Fri 23-May-14 10:20:16

Hi Laura Hope your ok
For me this week has not been good. Started bleeding Monday and went to hospital they arranged a scan for Wenesday, it was sad news. Wasn't sure whether to say or not as didn't want to bring gloom to the thread xxxx

Lauraqc Fri 23-May-14 18:15:46

Oh no bless you I'm so sad to hear that sad this is definitely a cruel world with no sense sometimes sad thinking of you xxx

impatientlywaiting14 Fri 23-May-14 22:32:59

It defiantly is Laura sad The thing is they couldn't say for sure what happened as i wasn't scanned till Wednesday. So i'm not sure if i miscarried or it was a chemical pregnancy, the chemical pregnancy route would bring me a little bit of comfort. So i just have to think of it as a loss.

They took blood Wednesday. I Had to go back today to the same place they scanned me so they could take another blood sample. They compared it to Wenesdays blood to check the HGC levels have dropped to rule out an ectopic pregnancy.

The HGC levels were very low on Wednesday at 20 and have dropped to just under 10 so at least I don't have to worry about something awful like that. I have to do a pregnancy test at home in a couple of weeks to make sure the hgc has left my body and call them with the outcome. Who would think I would have to be doing a test to get a negative result xxxx

icy121 Sat 24-May-14 11:51:43

Impatiently waiting - I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope you're bearing up & you've got lots of support irl xx

Laura - did you have the blood test? That it takes until 11 June for a discussion is ridiculous. They may as well just let you know the results so you can consult dr google. Any further signs of af? Completely understand with the tears. I find I'm fine all week (when I have to get up and go), it's the weekend when I've got time to mope they come most.

Me, I'm a week into 2ww, not holding my breath. Got a 2nd interview with the new job people. Money doesn't bring happiness but I might as well be earning more if ShitBody isn't going to play ball!

Lauraqc Sat 24-May-14 12:05:29

Impatient - the irony in having to poas to get a negative - not lost on here sad very crap and the weather's not doing much to cheer us all up is it?!

Icy - oooh exciting that you're through to 2nd interview - congrats! I'm hoping that distraction is when things happen!!

I've had the blood test on Thursday, i'll ring for the result on Wednesday but we're off to Barbados one week today and so if i can't get some kind of cancellation appt then i'll have to wait anyway to the 11th for my appt with the Dr....it's like it's all boiling up in my head though and I think I'm just going to be firm and ask to be referred. No other signs of af and did a test on Weds (just before blood test to be sure) which was negative....

Waiting is a crappy game!!

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 24-May-14 19:54:56

Hi Icy

Thank-you for that xx some parts of the day I feel strong others I just feel so down. Got lots of support which i'm grateful for but sadly there's not much anyone can do or say to make things better.

Well done on getting through the first meeting/interview and keeping fingers crossed for you for the 2nd one xx

Laura Yes its very Crap I will just be glad when its all over with. The weather has had bright spots today but majority of the day has been dreary.

Hopefully you can get a appointment soon so you can at least go off to your holiday without it hanging over you and having to deal with it when you come back. I hope you have a lovely time and enjoy yourselves xx

icy121 Wed 28-May-14 10:54:20

Waiting is indeed crap. I'm 11dpo now, was symptom spotting like a lunatic; got thoroughly overexcited as I felt twingey feelings around nipples and have a lot more cm than usual. POAS this morning and negative. I know that doesn't mean that much particularly, that if I am pregnant it's still a by early, but I'm pretty sure that's me out for this cycle.

On the basis it doesn't happen this month, OH and I have agreed to go and have some tests run privately.

Not over until it's over, but not feeling hopeful. FUCK!

impatientlywaiting14 Wed 28-May-14 11:48:11

Hi Icy, I got a Negative 11dpo as it was still a bit early I got my BFP at 12dpo the I.C I used were very faint and confused me so I brought a boots Digital test pack of 2 and that confirmed I was pregnant. I don't want to raise your hopes but I wouldn't say your out of the running yet . I found this site good

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/pregnancy_test_calculator.php

Good luck and hope your meeting goes/went well? xxxx

icy121 Thu 29-May-14 08:27:48

Hey. I used boots digital ones, pack of 2, another negative today.

Interview is later today. Need something to focus on other than ShitBody.

Yes that countdown to pregnancy website, do a daily negative hpt and watch with growing despondency as your "negative" results bar gets smaller and smaller. So rubbish.

Going to start investigating fertility clinics for tests. Can't face this again not knowing.

Lauraqc Thu 29-May-14 20:44:52

Hey all,

So...Icy...how has your second interview gone today?!?!?

I rang to get my test results today and I was told they were 'satisfactory, but please make an appointment with the Dr' which I've already got for 11th June....so, looks like phantom problems despite no period for almost 6 months. Harrumph. Even really strong acupuncture doesn't seem to be working at the moment...I'm officially boggled. Good thing we're in Barbados next week so I can get my head around it all....

Mims786 Thu 29-May-14 22:21:11

Hey ladies! I'm back again. So after some time away from everything and started a new job, I'm still not pregnant! Had my blood test on day 20 of my cycle and results are all good meaning I am ovulating as I should be. Also started taking pregnacare conception from just taking Folic acid alone. Thought I would increase mopey chances a little more.

It's been about 8 months now that we have been trying. One thing left to do is have the other halfs swimmers checked out.

I've just had yet another aunt flow week which really p****d me off. I really thought I had it this time.

I'm really loosing the will to trying for a baby. So frustrated as where I work it's family welcome in the cafe so always see kids and cute babies etc. I'm even crying as I write this cos I sooooo want a little 'un!

Lauraqc Thu 29-May-14 23:33:57

Hey Mims!

Awww i hope it happens soon for us all! Glad to hear all is well otherwise with everything working as it should...! Even my DH is starting to notice littlies everywhere! Fingers crossed for us all xxx

aliicecream Fri 30-May-14 22:54:25

Hi girls, really sorry to muscle in on your group but just felt your title calling to me today whilst sitting in the waiting room at the docs waiting to have my mc confirmed and listening to a group of teens discussing which contraception they were going to ask for ( shockingly misinformed) and all their friends who had had 'accidents' ahhghghgh why is that fair? I wanted to speak to them and explain that I felt the same as them once and just wanted to avoid pregnancy/periods as much as possible but now regret it SO MUCH ��

icy121 Sat 31-May-14 08:08:03

Aliice that's awful. Hope you're doing ok, so sorry to hear about your MC. Do you have lots of support irl? Can't imagine what you must feel like. Xx

Agree on the teenagers / the generally feckless who sneeze and there pregnant. Not fair, but then life isn't I guess. Wank.

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 31-May-14 10:39:36

HI ICYSorry that you got a bfn and you didn't find the site helpful. I was using it more to gauge when was the least disappointing time to test i find the the earlier you test the more disappointing it is, we are all different though xx

I hope your Interview brought better news? xx

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 31-May-14 10:49:10

Hi Laura

It all sounds very frustrating for you sad I know it doesn't take the problems away but I really hope you have a lovely time in Barbados next week and are able to give your head a break from it all xxxx

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 31-May-14 10:58:32

Hi Mims

That sounds really tough, it is hard seeing baby's and family's everywhere, especially at work. Where i used to work, i would see children and baby's everyday and sometimes the mums would put them up on the counter if they were fussing at being left in their pram. Gave me an ache in my heart. Glad to know all is working as normal, but i don't imagine that brings you comfort 8 Months on xxx

impatientlywaiting14 Sat 31-May-14 11:14:59

Hi aliicecream

I'm so sorry to hear of your Mc, cant imagine how you must be feeling right now. I hope you have lots of support, although sadly i don't think there's anything anyone can say to make you feel better.

I suffered a Loss on the 19th/21st May (started bleeding and cramping 19th, was confirmed on scan there was no pregnancy on 21st). Not sure if it was a chemical pregnancy or miscarriage, they couldn't confirm it they said we just class it as a miscarriage.

If that was me sitting in the waiting room i would feel very upset and angered, it must have been very hard for you to listen too hugsssss flowers flowers xxxxxx

icy121 Sun 01-Jun-14 20:30:01

Hey team - any updates? I'm 14 dpo, no af, bfn, tears blah blah.

Had a good 2nd interview they've asked me to meet company owner next weds so at least something is going well. OH bought me lovely flowers today as is been weeping oh his shoulder this morning - which was lovely. He's not amazing as the making me feel better chat thing but I know his heart is in the right place. Don't think he really "gets it" (hate that prase since Miliband has commandeered it - yeh alright £70 shopping bill, whatevs) but I guess he's trying to.

From the male perspective, I am apparently "worrying" about it too much. I thought I was being quite low key - only talk about it c. 15% as much as I think about it. Anyone who says "try not to think about it" hasn't been a woman worried about their ability to conceive.

Had wine today. Fuck it.

spence24 Mon 02-Jun-14 08:59:10

So, here's my update:

We decided to use the SMEP this month to really give us more of a chance, then on 16th May I woke with a painful shoulder, no idea what I'd done. Within 24 hours the pain was unbearable, ended up at the hospital on the nicest day of the year, prescribed wonderfully strong painkillers, and knocked me out for 5 days. Conveniently, right when we'd calculated my fertile window to be. So that was this month written off.

I was due on yesterday. Still no AF by lunchtime, so figured as I had some spare tests lying around I'd take one anyway. Instant BFP, no questioning. Safe to say we were incredibly surprised!

Took another test this morning, and the BFP line was just as dark as the control line. It really doesn't feel real at all - I've had no symptoms, I don't "feel" any different, and I thought I would.

So now, as I'm typing this I'm also sat here with the phone number for the doctors typed into my phone, trying to figure out how to say "I'm pregnant" out loud for the first time...really hoping this sticks, as it'll mean dates etc line up perfectly for us for the rest of the year (I'm an event manager and shop owner)...

...Still not sure what to make of it all!

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 02-Jun-14 09:15:04

Spence That's Fantastic! brilliant news grin yes you must be in shock after everything you have been through, really keeping fingers crossed for you xxxx

Mims786 Mon 02-Jun-14 09:24:14

Congratulations Spence! Really good news to hear!

icy121 Tue 03-Jun-14 16:39:10

Great news spence! Massively jealous, obvs, but good for you :-) x

spence24 Wed 04-Jun-14 15:09:15

Thanks guys. As weird as it sounds, it's not all that I expected. I still don't feel any different, apart from noticing that I am getting hungrier a lot quicker than I usually do. One of my staff members heard my stomach rumbling from across the shop yesterday morning and had to throw them the "skipped breakfast" line before scoffing a bag of crisps!

I splashed out on a fancy digital test to see how far along I was as my cycles are irregular - it said 2-3 weeks since conception, so we're about 5 weeks, looking at a very early Feb 2015 due date.

We've told my best friend, and his too, so we have non-family people that we can chat to in the early days. Telling my mum tomorrow, after OH chickened out telling his mum yesterday. Everyone else can wait until we know all is OK.

How is everyone else doing? If anyone was thinking about it, I am now recommending the SMEP very highly!

icy121 Wed 04-Jun-14 16:52:15

I've told my oh we're doing smep albeit because my cycle is long/irregular there's not much point starting day 8.

Work - had a meeting with company owner today, hopefully he'll offer me a nice new job.

Ttc - booked in for a fertility mot for Monday week. Not expecting much from it but would like peace of mind.

Generally a bit blue about the whole thing.

Beansprout30 Wed 04-Jun-14 21:51:08

Hi all, congrats spence! Can I be nosey and ask how long was it between you last dtd and ovulation, were you a few days out then? Dh and I last dtd 2/3 days before ovulation so slim chance for bfp I think

spence24 Wed 04-Jun-14 22:08:42

We've actually sat and worked it out this evening, good job I was keeping track on an app really!

We've worked out that we conceived on 14th May, and DTD on 12th - which means when I took as test thinking I was due on that day, I was actually 4 days late - I have a long and sometimes irregular cycle so I was counting a 36 day cycle when we reckon it was actually 32. I thought we'd totally missed it as well, so there is still a chance it seems!

Beansprout30 Wed 04-Jun-14 22:20:55

Those apps are very helpful arent they! This gives me hope though don't think we shall be so lucky. Did you have any clues or did you feel totally normal? Sorry for the questions, I just have it in my head that when it happens I will be able to tell naturally lol

spence24 Wed 04-Jun-14 22:41:21

I thought that too but at the moment I feel no different! It just makes me feel that AF is still going to arrive, but according to those who now know (best friend and my mum), I have about 7-10 days until the sickness kicks in...lovely.

Beansprout30 Wed 04-Jun-14 23:28:44

Ha! Hope it all goes well for you and you don't suffer from the sickness too much!

Mims786 Tue 17-Jun-14 18:55:41

Hi all, so I need a bit of advice/explanation/assurance.

Basically I've been tic for about 10 mths, I've had a blood test to check I'm ovulating which I am. I've been taking Pregnacare for about 5 weeks now. My AF is due in 2 days and around 5 days before AF I've wiped and found light brown stain nothing in my pants, sorry for tmi, and again 3 days before AF light brown stain again nothing in my pants but nothing else between these days.

I really don't want to get my hopes up again this month.

Can anyone help?

Thanks

icy121 Wed 18-Jun-14 09:22:36

you could take a test? I guess it's one of those things that if you're pregnant would be a symptom, but if you're not would just be spotting..! Sorry that is no help at all. I hate hopes up. Last cycle, I'd calculated AF as due for a certain day. On that day no AF, so trotted along to Boots, got an hpt, bfn, next day the cramps started. So discouraging.

I'm back to square one anyway, don't think I've got the job I was after, the company is hiring one of my colleagues, possibly two instead! Gutted! They've hired nice, solid, reliable men. Brilliant.

Ov is due next Friday. Tempted to sack the Ov sticks, as they cause stress, but as I've got them in the house, I know I'll use them. Dammit!

FORTY DAY FUCKING CYCLES DEVIL'S WORK - I HATE IT ALL

BAH

Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 10:02:01

I did a couple of tests but was bfn. Put it down to being too early to test so was going to wait for missed/period.

I have a sinking angry heavy feeling it's the dreaded bitch that is AF! Bad times.

I'm in the same boat as you with OV sticks but will end up using them as I have them.

I don't know how you do it with a 40 day cycle. On severe age I'm. 27/28 day cycle.

Icy, maybe this job wasn't the one for you as I think something bigger and better will come your way. I find that things happen for a reason. Patience is a virtue. I pray that it does! X

Maybe I should listen to my own advice hence why I'm not pregnant yet! Lol!

Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 10:03:05

On average*

icy121 Wed 18-Jun-14 10:30:26

Here's hoping it's not AF. You're still in with a shout until you know for sure?!

I find I cry a lot when I get AF, feel sick to my stomach about the thought of how LONG it will take to get to the next ovulation, and then ban myself from internet and forums for the first few weeks. I'm on CD17 and still have 9 days to ovulate.... waaaah

The job probably wasn't for me, it's not great timing, and sods law is I'd get pregnant straight away. Still though, it's just another thing I feel I've failed at recently.

Oh well. at least in my current job there's lots of scope for skivey days... so that's a result!

Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 11:54:55

We'll maybe that is the reason you haven't got the job because this month may be the one. Fingers crossed. Think of the negative and change it to a positive.

Don't think of yourself as a failure because you didn't get the job. If anything, they failed you for not giving it to you. They are human too and they may have made a mistake hiring the other person.

Chin up Hun! X

Mims786 Wed 18-Jun-14 20:35:13

Icy121 that bitch AF came today. Not happy at all? sad

icy121 Thu 19-Jun-14 22:57:06

Oh no just seen this

Fucking rubbish. Periods and not being pregnant LIKE NOW is crap.

:-( hope you're having hot baths and soon comforting stuff.

Dust yourself off and onto the next one... At least only 14 days til you're fertile again! So lucky! Have some wine if you drink and onwards and upwards.

X

Mims786 Sat 21-Jun-14 23:11:36

Oh icy! I've had a few horrible days! Hormonal, broody, stressing, painful! Urgh! I feel like I'm turning into crazy woman looking at the most beautiful kids that come into the cafe where I work!

And when I see them I turn into a mess and want to cry, I swear the parents think I'm a weirdo but I'm not. I'm just longing for one of my own!

I don't drink but some days I ve felt like needing something strong! Lol!

I'm a Muslim and the month of Ramadan will be staring very soon. I do feel like I should take a break this month and focus on my fasting and cleansing my soul instead of ttc. Who knows.

I've just had enough now of wanting for something for so long that I don't want it anymore! Does that make any sense?

Mims786 Wed 30-Jul-14 17:02:21

Hello people! So I need some more advice if anyone can help.

So I've had my hormones levels checked which have come back normal and I, ovulating. My DH has had SA and results have come back too. He has a low sperm count of less than 1m. Of which I do not know the motility etc. we are going for more tests and hopefully referred to ICSI.

Has anyone else had any issues or can give advice on how to improve?

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