TTC 10+++ months part 18

(1000 Posts)
Mrsden Sun 08-Dec-13 21:06:39

This is the BFP thread.

Mrsden Sun 08-Dec-13 21:08:18

I hope all the 10 plussers find this thread. I can't quite believe I've been around for 18 threads.

eurochick Sun 08-Dec-13 21:25:31

Ditto! 17,000 posts of the ups and downs of the long term ttcers' rollercoaster.

foxinorangesocks Sun 08-Dec-13 21:27:30

I like your affirmation den! I am hoping that my average height, hair and blood group bring me a quick match and that I manage to conceive in 2014. I realise this is a tall ask but I like the number 14 so reckon that's a good enough sign.

MuddyWellyNelly Sun 08-Dec-13 22:12:51

Ah MrsDen let it be so! But in which case we need to slow down the posting a little bit as I need some time to save up for DE!

Euro - I have just caught up with the last thread. I am so unhelpfully cross on your behalf about the embies. I didn't expect that at all, after all your good results. I do think talking DE seemed very unfair what with the drugs and hormones kicking about, and you know, the fact that you do still have an embie inside you. I recall you didn't feel instinctively drawn to DE as an option? But it is way too early for you to be thinking about that as a decision.

17,000 posts. Shit, that's a lot of material for the daily fail bonding, sadness, education, hope, despair, friendships, decisions, happiness, soul searching and wonderful, fantastic, support.

Fox, you are a strong strong vixen smile You will come out the other side with super powers!

Bloody too late to start posting again. Sorry for non-existent catch up.

freedom2011 Sun 08-Dec-13 23:40:06

Marking my place. Thanks for new thread. I will continue to lurk. Snotty crying hopelessness today. Mega frustration. I want to get on with ivf or adoption. MrFree wants to wait it out with the Chinese medicine. I feeble I am going a little bit mad.

freedom2011 Sun 08-Dec-13 23:43:10

I feel like not I feeble. Although I am feeling a bit feeble after the snotty crying. Perhaps my outburst will set me up for an ironidiff. Either that or tomorrow will be cd 1.

foxinorangesocks Mon 09-Dec-13 07:22:54

Free big hug, waiting is so hard. I really hope this happens for you and it very well might. New Years are good for thinking about new things too? Come and outpour on here.

Nelly I love what you wrote about all the posts. I have had better bday remembering and thoughtfulness from my mn friends than old school ones and you lot always know what to say. I luffs you.

But I don't like dark get ups! Doll please send a slice of sun. Hope you are betterer.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 09-Dec-13 07:24:59

Good affirmation, mrsd I am keeping everything crossed for a bunch of BFPs under the Christmas tree or soon in 2014!

Sorry you're feeling crap free and that you and your OH are no longer on the same page.

Will go back to read the old thread now!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 09-Dec-13 07:28:15

Belated happy birthday fox and I am impressed you're out of the weepy stage already. Feel free to wallow again if need be!

And just once again SO SORRY euro for the stressful day yesterday. For now you're PUPO. I really hope the embie makes it.

Waves to all of you!

Mrsden Mon 09-Dec-13 09:08:25

Free, how long is mrfree prepared to wait? Has the Chinese stuff shown any sign of improving things? I'm sorry that you've been upset, come and let it out on here anytime you want.

Fox, I'm glad your birthday was a nice day despite the horrible stuff. My last birthday was ok, but it was cd1 and so I felt a bit sad which spoiled things. It's like I can be happy on the surface but it's always bubbling away underneath.

I'd been doing really well since Ivf failure II. Yesterday, I felt sad for no real reason. I think it's the thought of Christmas, it's such a family time. I'd also worked out that we will have to wait another month for the fet because we will be away at the crucial time. I have no real hope for the fet though, even dh has sort of given up with the positive stuff. He admitted that he believes our embryos aren't good. I need to make the review appointment but it feels sort of pointless, they have no idea where it's going wrong.

freedom2011 Mon 09-Dec-13 11:25:20

Mrsden I am not sure. Hard to tell. Cycles did get a bit shorter. Wrote a long and honest post but scared of horrid hacks using words to demonstrate the 'torment' of barren women. MrF said well why did you tell the adoption lady you managed quite well with our struggle then. Er, Because I don't want her to think I'm a nutjob.

Poutintrout Mon 09-Dec-13 12:01:18

Thank you for the new Fred mrsd 17,000 posts? Holy cow!

Happy birthday fox So glad that you managed to have a good time.

euro I was sad to read that the embryologist upset you with such an unqualified "diagnosis". I hope that you feel okay today. Big smiles from me that you are PUPO.

free Sorry that you are having a wobbly, sad time at the moment. I did smile at MrF's comments. I don't think that many people actually tell the truth when someone asks how you are. Don't we all just smile feebly and answer that we are fine!

Sorry that the FET will be delayed for you MrsD I know what that is like and it is pretty crappy & frustrating. The only way I got through it was to tell myself that it had to happen at the time the universe had preordained yeah, 'cos that time the universe decided the FET should be worked out really well for me. Maybe scratch that advice!!

Waves to lemons and nelly and everyone.

Mrsden Mon 09-Dec-13 15:16:20

If people knew how I really felt, free, they'd think I had lost it. The truth is I do cope. I'm not depressed and I manage the sadness. I just really, really want to be a mum and I can't see this feeling ever going away which scares me when I think it might never happen.

I had a rubbish day at work again and I know this is not a good reason to want a baby but I so wish I had maternity leave coming up. As it is I see no escape from my job. I know I should look for a new one but I can't face that just at the moment, I will if we reach the end of the road with ttc.

sarlat Mon 09-Dec-13 17:37:39

Euro - sorry you dissapointed with this round so far. But slow growing embies are not doomed to fail. I deeply disagree with what the embryologist said about your egg quality. The evidence does not point to this. I remember being told I was in early ovarian decline (another falsehood statement from my ttc trauma years) and howling in the corridor. I am sorry you had that nasty shock yesterday, its a dreadful feeling. Right now you are pupo and there is every reason to be hopeful. But if you need another cycle in the future my advice would be the following (feel free to ignore).

hsg - people that make decent embryos /early mc may have mild toxicity from tubes not picked up (my original problem).
dhea?? A la fox
Long protocol to gain more eggs -I hesitate to say this as I know how hideous you found down regging but I wonder what alternatives are out there.
Also maybe 50%icsi and 50% ivf - just to see if the sperm side can be enhanced.

just want to throw some ideas out there and let you know you are far from alone.

will be back later.

eurochick Mon 09-Dec-13 17:50:32

Thanks sar. I appreciate your thoughts and they are along similar lines to my own.

The embryologist did say that in his experience when embryos go wrong early, it is usually an egg issue, but he has seen cases where this has been assumed, and the couple has moved to donor eggs, only for the same thing to happen, so it can be sperm DNA fragmentation in some cases.

I had a HSG early on in the investigations and the dye shot straight though with zero problems. I do have a question in my mind about endo though, as I have always had painful periods and IBS. I'm really not keen on another lap though (I had one when I was 19, to investigate the painful periods and I'm not sure but I don't think endo was found, although obviously a lot can change in 18 years).
I have also wondered about DHEA as I have heard good things.
I have said to mr euro that I would be willing to try LP again. He is not sure he is. He found watching his usually emotionally stable waife deteriorate into a complete looper somewhat unsettling.
I've also thought about the 50/50 thing. We've never had enough eggs to bother with it to date.

I hope you are doing well.

mrsd I feel like that. I have passed up a number of opportunities over the past 3 years with the aim of heading off on mat leave. Grrr. I am disillusioned with my current place but it could end up being a bad time to move. With the latest thing that came my way, I decided to say "sod it", but that didn't work out.

free there's always a risk that any thread could be invaded or spied on, but we are all anonymous on here, so I've never let that thought hold me back.

I hope doll is doing ok. Her circumstances were not easy. Tiny doll must be a few weeks old now.

Mrsden Mon 09-Dec-13 18:00:36

Euro, I have no reason to think my eggs are bad and yet I'm fAirly sure my embies are not developing past day 3. I'm certain that implantation never happens. With us I think the problem is dodgy sperm. I do wonder whether long protocol with more eggs to try might be worth it but not if it's at the expense of your emotional health. There's still hope with your slow grower though, just look at gin!

Sar, how are you. Not long to go!

CritterPants Mon 09-Dec-13 19:49:15

Hi ladies

Just wanted to quickly pop on to give a tight squeeze to euro - so sorry yesterday was so shit. sar has good thoughts. I will be hoping for your little embie.

free I remember feeling that awful urgency and misery. I'm so sorry lovely. Are you on a list for IVF? Can you get on one? I know it's not a cure-all (sadly our experiences on this board have shown that) but I found it really helpful to have the situation taken out of my hands.

den this is a bloody hard time of year. I'm sorry the FET has been pushed back. It's horrible, the constant waiting around.

fox glad you managed an ok birthday. Thinking of you lots.

Waves to everyone else.

seamermaid Mon 09-Dec-13 19:49:18

Found it.
A quick post from long weekend break so this will be a pathetic attempt at catch up.

Thanks Den for sorting new thread. May 18 bring us loads of luck. Very lucky number where I'm from. Hoping this is a good omen for all 10 plussers.

Euro I'm glad the lady doc was gentle with your ladybits but sorry the they were so insensitive to talk DE when this cycle is still v much alive. I have heard that the first 3 days is more related to egg and after that it's down to sperm but I still think a lot of it is just trial and error and supposition. Either way, I'm sorry you had to hear that during ET. A big hand hold. I for one still think you are in with a v good chance judging by past experience

Free - a big handhold. How long have you been trying with the Chinese meds? It's good that it seems to be regulating your cycle but I can understand the frustration and wanting to be doing other things to help you become parents. Is there no talking mr free round?

Fox glad you are back and happy belated birthday. You have been ever so strong during this nightmare cycle. Any news on the hand?

Not much to report here. Started DR yesterday. So far okay. No real side effects apart from slight headache. I do feel like all the moisture's been sucked from me though. Feel dry dry dry and glugging water all day long. Went hiking in the mountain today and feeling good.

Waves to everyone. Sorry for the short catch up. I always find it hard to do phone posts.

eurochick Mon 09-Dec-13 19:56:02

mrsd - I've had positive tests on all 3 previous rounds (mc, chem preg, chem preg) so we must get to at least hatching blast for there to be an attempt at implantation. Who the hell knows what's going on. From early on in this process I have had a wish that someone would invent "wombcam" and that is just increasing with each passing headfuck month!

sea hiking sounds wonderful. Hurrah for being underway! I hope the side effects stay mild.

freedom2011 Tue 10-Dec-13 08:05:09

Mrsden if a wonderful job opportunity comes your way grab it but obviously hold onto present gig until that happens. I gave up my job to relax enough to get pregnant. It worked but I miscarried so I think it may worth getting on with what you want to do if your personal situation allows. I've been to some great places and had a heap of fun. When booking flights I've always thought what if I get pregnant and can't go. I never have so no point holding back from what you want to do. I don't want to look back and think I held off living.

Thanks for all your kind words euro and sea and pout and critter. I talked calmly to MrF. He's scared of making the wrong decision. I'm scared of leaving it so late we have no choices left. We'll go back to the western doctors in next year.

ThatWayMadnessLies Tue 10-Dec-13 08:21:55

I've found you! Checking in from a surprisingly not too cold Scotland this morning.

fox I'm glad that you were able to enjoy your birthday. I have had some really good times over the past 3.5 years but they can be overshadowed in my memories by the stressful and traumatic times. You are doing great xx

euro so sorry things weren't as you'd hoped. listen to sar. The advice is so often wrong that you need to take it all with a pinch of salt. I am still in your cheerleading section for this round.

sea hurrah for being on the ivf road at last. I have everything crossed for you.

Waves to nelly. Glad the de counselling was ok. Probably best that it didn't flag up lots of issues that you hadn't talked through yet.

On phone so typically pathetic catch up. Big waves to free joy and mrsd and cos and anyone else I've missed.

afm all ok here. Just over 17 weeks and accepting I need bigger clothes. Sister in law starting ivf in January so now feeling anxious on their behalf. Would be amazing for our children to grow up together but really hard knowing how she will be feeling if the treatment fails. Have to run to work. Have a good day everyone.

Cosmonaut1 Tue 10-Dec-13 10:18:43

Euro I hope you're doing ok today. You're still pupo and I hope you manage ok through the 2ww. Wombcam's would make a fortune I think!

Mad great news that all still going well with you. That is tricky timing with the sil, fingers crossed it turns out well.

Free it's so hard to know what to do next - my twopenneth is that charting when doing Chinese meds is incredibly helpful as the patterns within the charts correspond to the theories of yin / yang / liver qi etc. have you ever tried using fertility friend? Randine Lewis' book 'the infertility cure' gives diagrams and explanations of what the charts mean in Chinese meds, plus you can then see if you're making progress.

Sea, great news you've got underway - hiking sounds great.

Fox, special squeeze.

Mrsden it's no wonder you feel like that, you've been through a lot. I like the positive affirmation of the purpose of this thread!

Nelly you're so right, that is a good description of what happens on this thread.

Waves to Joy, Sar, Critter, Pout and everyone else.

Afm I have an update, and its so bizarre that I don't really know what to make of it and mostly expecting it to ends in tears any day. So you know with my last round I was given extra progesterone via gestone injections which was the only thing that was different really and I felt at the time they really helped. In my follow up with my consultant I asked about trying extra progesterone on its own and he was very reluctant, he said there was 'no evidence' that it helps and that he'd never prescribed it in his 20 yr career. Anyway he took pity on me and wrote to my gp to recommend cyclogest 200mg twice a day from 1 or 2 days after ovulation. (The gp also said it was 'off licence' and was suspicious). I had some leftover gestone (plus some from a trusty supplier, you know who you are) - and so this month I tried both, the cyclogest and the gestone (a 50mg injection twice a week), and I can't quite believe this but I've had a bfp. I'm now 16/17 dpo. So wtf? I've read some opinions on line that say that the progesterone level is a reflection of egg quality and that giving progesterone just delays the inevitable, but I've also seen other stories of ladies (in the US it seems) who have success to term with it. Now I've also been told I've low Amh, lower ovarian reserve, over active immune etc etc, but progesterone definately seems to be at least one part of my jigsaw. Anyway, I hope this gives you all a boost that there is always something new to try and to keep going! And I wonder what will happen next - I keep getting twinges which are worrying me....

eurochick Tue 10-Dec-13 10:22:33

Bloody hell, cos. That's amazing! I can't believe you have a BFP the first time you have tried it!

Ginestas Tue 10-Dec-13 11:10:15

cos!!!! grin grin The ironadiff we've been waiting for! I understand why you would feel nervous, but this sounds like great news to me. I thought progesterone was a standard treatment? I know one of my friend's mum had it successfully in the 70s/80s to resolve recurrent MC. Anyway, try to enjoy if you can. I am so bloody pleased for you.

euro I know our ttc history is very different so this may be irrelevant, but I checked and ginster was a 5 cell grade 2 embryo on day 3. The 7 and 5 cell grade 1s didn't do anything when put back in. Anyway hope that gives you a bit of hope.

Waves and luffs to everyone else x

eurochick Tue 10-Dec-13 11:12:07

That does, gin. Thank you!

joycep Tue 10-Dec-13 11:12:50

Euro - did MrE ever get his sperm frag tested? I mentioned to some woman that our embryos were slow developers and were going pear shaped after day3 and she said take Selenium. Apparently that helps with binding. Personally I don't even take folic any more because it is hard to stay upbeat but may be worth looking in to. Anyway there are very few tests that they can do with men and so if those few tests come back ok then they just assume the issue is the woman. But I think a woman's 'age' is an easy get out excuse for these people when really they should just be saying they don't know. I would put money on you and me both struggling to conceive if we were 10years younger because of some invisible issue. I would like to test my eggs with someone else sperm, Roy's sperm with some other eggs and just see what happens.
But it sounds like you have more fight in you which is good as it is not the end of road for you. Personally I think it was a very premature and wrong assumption by that embryologist. And anyhow, you are Pupo and all of this planning could be completely irrelevant. As always Sar has good advice and i remember all too well she was told she was in premature ovarian decline and now look.

Mrsd - you put it so well and I feel exactly the same . It's not depression for me, it is just sadness as i desperately want to be a mum . I don't want to have to deal with this sadness for the rest of my life. I had the day off yesterday and was gardening. As I was pulling out brambles, I thought how lucky I was to have a garden and to be able to garden as kids wouldn't allow for that. But a huge wave of sadness over came me as I realised a garden would never be enough. I know the way I am getting by is just having this hope at the back of my mind that it will just happen one day when I am not expecting it. I have no basis for this but it is a coping mechanism.

Sea - you've started! Golly golly. You are going to be fine. Have you had immunes back? Your original results didn't seem much different to mine. Just above normAl. My cd56 was 12.3 and CD19+cd5 were 10.1 and this warranted ivig for me. I would love to know what the results of a 'normal' lady is , I bet everyone has above normal.

Rabbits- belated happy birthday. I am glad you had fun. I hope you are beginning to feel somewhat better.

Free - I am sorry things are so tough at the moment . Big hand hold.

sarlat Tue 10-Dec-13 11:16:12

Oh my word, cos.....aaaaaggggghhhhhh. I am so shocked and so happy and I think that news might just make my waters burst.

Right now, do not think about amh, egg quality studies or anything else. You are pregnant! And this is it! Oh sweetheart what wonderful news and what a boost for so many people on this thread. Just to add weight to the gestone argument, my ivf cycle included gestone and I wad told I was very lucky as it was the bees knees and the clinic were seeing improved results. It didnt work for me but that was due to tubal issues. So hoorah for gestone.

Den - hello my lovely. I can really identify with those feelings of sadness that children may never come. I cant give you any magic words to make it feel better but knowing that others know exactly what you mean does help. I think you are a lot like me and just dont envisage the donor / adoption route which of course puts even more pressure on the situation. I can understand why you dont have faith in the fet. But it is still early days for you two and there is yet so much hope and so much to learn. Fet does have good success rates. With your very early embryos it may take a bit longer to find one that is destined to develop. This part is the hardest sweetheart. You are in the thick of it and it is more than most people will ever experience in terms of stress, grief, decision making and distress. You cope amazingly with all this.

free - a combo of eastern and western approach sounds great. I can understand your fear of leaving things too late but I also understand the burden to make decisions that your dh feels. Hoping you reach your goal next year.

Sea - well done on the hiking and wishing you luck this cycle.

Fox - oh honey, hope you are doing ok. Glad you had a nice birthday. Glad you have plans for next year. I cant help but wonder if you should find a gestone dealer too?? I know you have mentioned potential dodgy progesterone too. Thinking of you lots.

Euro - hope you feel a little better today. Be very kind to yourself, plan something fabulous this weekend.

Nelly '- glad the counselling session wasn't too traumatic.

Hello to pout, joy and everyone.

10 days until d day here. But would love the baby to come a bit early..,....but everyone says that at this stage.

sending big hugs and positive vibes.

One more scream for cos.....aaaagggghhhh!!!

Poutintrout Tue 10-Dec-13 11:52:59

cos That is blimmin' fantastic news. I literally read it and thought, hang on, did cos just say she had got a BFP, and then had to re-read! You have made my day grin

sea Good luck with the downregging. I am rooting for you.

Pathetic attempt at a catch up. Will come back later and try better!

joycep Tue 10-Dec-13 11:56:41

And I've just read Cos' post!!! The iron diff has FINALLY happened. That is AMAzing news!!! But not just that, it is extraordinary! Just remind us how long you have been trying to give us all a boost?? So you will have to tell us exactly how many dosages of progesterone you were giving yourself and why you wanted to try it. Your progesterone levels were always ok weren't they??? And tell me Cos, will little Cos be named after the gestone supplier (grin)... Just a middle name perhaps? (Grin) so what happens now? Will drS supply you with some more gestone? Will you be seeking out some steroids?
I know it must be nervewracking but this has happened naturally . Did you fall on the floor when you got your bfp and have you had symtoms pre bfp? So am y questions.

Gin - 5 cell on day 3? And what would they expect on day 3 - a 7or 8 cell??

Suddenly feel so happy - thanks cos!

Cosmonaut1 Tue 10-Dec-13 12:12:30

Thanks guys grin. It can't really be true can it? 6 years, 4 Ivfs, immune treatment, clomid etc etc.....and some extra progesterone? I did take the Benadryl around the time of implantation, but that was just cos I thought it was funny (and may have gone slightly drug happy). My progesterone results were always 'within range' but I've always had bleeding during my luteal phase, like a leaky tap. That didn't happen either last cycle or this one. It just shows, these docs only know so much and exactly like Sar said you should follow your instincts (now worried I am speaking too soon).

And Joy I so agree, age of eggs is blamed so often, when they can't be conclusive. And yes I am so gobsmacked I keep remembering and feeling shock all over again.

Euro Gin made a great point, how sweet of you Gin to check. Euro maybe you just always produce girl embies?

Free for what it's worth, low progesterone exactly matches my Chinese meds diagnosis of spleen qi deficiency.

joycep Tue 10-Dec-13 12:22:56

Cos - it is true, it is true!! what exactly were your progesterone levels? Seriously in 9 months time, please write to evey doctor you have had contact with and tell them your story. Totally unbelievable that progesterone has been the weakest link.

[may be a spike in Benadryl sales this lunch time!]

foxinorangesocks Tue 10-Dec-13 12:38:29

Rushing at work but have to come on here and squeal at Cos. Woo hoo! That's just bloody amazing amazing. I'm so bloody unbelievably happy for you. Tis a pity co op don't sell gestone... Will be back...

freedom2011 Tue 10-Dec-13 13:14:33

Cos YAY YAY YAY Hoorah hooray!!! You're up the duff . EXCELLENT.

ThatWayMadnessLies Tue 10-Dec-13 14:27:20

Illicit mumsnet posting from work to tell cos that's incredible news. So very very pleased for you grin!!!!

Mrsden Tue 10-Dec-13 14:36:31

Yay cos, amazing, amazing, amazing ironiduff. Wonderful news, and it gets our thread off to a good start. I knew I'd made a bfp thread grin

Now then tell me more about gestane. Where can we get hold of some smile

eurochick Tue 10-Dec-13 15:08:37

joy he hasnt had the sperm DNA frag test yet. He has been putting it off for about a year hmm but has committed to having it, along with all the other tests we were recommended, when we move to the new clinic.

sar I can't believe you only have 10 days to go!

cos are you still on cloud 9?

Mrsden Tue 10-Dec-13 15:23:13

The problem with the sperm fragmentation test is that if it shows there is a problem there is nothing you can do except try icsi and hope they pick a decent sperm. It's not possible to test the genes of an individual sperm without killing it so they can't pick one that doesn't have a problem to use in icsi. There are people, very nice people wink currently working on a way that you can test without killing the sperm.

joycep Tue 10-Dec-13 15:53:13

It depends what is causing the sperm frag as it can be indicative of an asympotomatic infection. Some men have got their sperm frag down to normal after a course of antibiotics. But obviously this isn't the case for everyone. There is just so much luck involved in this isn't there.

eurochick Tue 10-Dec-13 15:57:42

mrsd that's one of the arguments that mr euro has always used against having the test. I still think it would be good to know if it is a problem for us.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 10-Dec-13 16:29:28

What, an ironidiff?!? Hurrah!!! I am so happy for you, cos! smile congratulations and huge YAY from me!

Buzzybee123 Tue 10-Dec-13 16:34:58

cos congrats that is great news, didn't you see Mr Shehata, he prescribes 2 x 400mgs of Cyclogest as part of his standard protocol. I was on 2 x 400mgs of cyclogest and 2 viles of gestone a day, not sure that it was all needed but made me feel like I was throwing everything at it to make it work, I am in two minds about progesterone. I do have some boxes left if anyone wants to try it just let me know

Buzzybee123 Tue 10-Dec-13 16:40:58

sorry the cat has buggered up my key pad again

sea good luck with this cycle, hope the DRing goes ok, it made me feel a bit odd hmm

euro my fingers are crossed for you this cycle

mrsd its hard when you are stuck in a job that you are not keen on, I agree with someone upthread about looking for something better, sorry you have to put FET off

CritterPants Tue 10-Dec-13 18:17:13

Squeeeeee! cos what incredible news! I am so thrilled for you - you have had the roughest of rides and your news has just made my month. Amazing, amazing, amazing. grin grin grin grin

sweetgrouch Tue 10-Dec-13 18:31:36

Just a quick one because I am on a phone.

Cos! I am so happy for you! The ironi-diff. This news made my day.

Progesterone was offered as a first line treatment option for me in Canada. My clinic liked to try it before clomid or anything else when people have wonky cycles.

Waves to everyone else. Happy belated birthday to fox!

seamermaid Tue 10-Dec-13 18:35:07

Just a quick one to say congratulations to Cos! This is just what we need!! Fab fab news indeed. You have had such a tough time with the treatments. You deserve this! So delighted for you. grin

Cosmonaut1 Tue 10-Dec-13 20:58:05

Thanks guys grin. Euro I can see us getting to the same point as last time maybe, but seems unlikely to get beyond that, but will just wait it out and see. How are you holding up lovely? How are you feeling now about this round?

Buzzy it was the consultant at the place I did Ivf at I saw, at Eastbourne. I did do the SO programme with Mr S but can't recall if that was with cyclogest. It def wasn't with gestone.

Sweet that's interesting about Canada.

Re sperm frag I did see an article in the times this year that said there was more damage done by even very small temp changes than anything else, not sure if that's the case or not.

foxinorangesocks Tue 10-Dec-13 21:18:23

Have yet again had no time to do personals. Cos I'm still so excited for you.

Euro how you doing? And sea, all ok?

Ivf has changed my nipples. They are darker and a tiny bit bigger. I know this after three years of scrutiny. Fact. Why would this be? I want my normal nipples back than you very much! Stick that in your pipe daily wail.

eurochick Tue 10-Dec-13 21:34:45

Thanks all for your thoughts. And cos how kind of you to think of me on your day of excitement!

I'm doing ok. I've had a fairly busy day at work, which is a good distraction from the menkulling. Feeling slightly shivery and crampy, but that's normal for me at this point in my cycle.

And mr euro has told me he is going to buy me an ipad (probably the mini) for Xmas (he told me to check what sort I wanted). I've coveted one for ages but can't really justify it as I already have laptop, ebook, iphone, etc. He says that's what makes it the perfect present. I think he is desperate to do something nice for me. Yay for shiny gadgets!

That's interesting about Canada sweet. I've wondered about progesterone supplementation too and tried it once with some spares I had. I also remember one of the early 10+ers getting a BFP after her first month douching with something alkaline! I wonder if there are other little tweaks that would work for some of us. But of course, the fertility clinics wouldn't make much dosh out of that. <cynical>

ArtemisTheHunter Tue 10-Dec-13 22:42:06

Cos!!!!! Fantastic news! What a way to start the new thread. Mrsden's positivity clearly worked :-)

Tenmonthsandcounting Wed 11-Dec-13 08:16:47

Quick phone post.

Cos this is bloody brilliant news! What a great start to the new thread.

Euro sorry the news on the embies wasn't great, still none of us know what we looked like at day 3.

Sea good luck with the dr, after such a long wait I really hope this is your cycle.

Mrs d I hear you on the work thing I would like to leave mine as well but feel trapped.

I have two on board one that has fragmentation so they presume will fail and one average one they are keeping two in culture to see if we can get to blasto to freeze. Who knows. Euro I had the lovely female gynae, was dreading that Greek guy, I have seen him on the nhs and he did ec on this cycle and on both occasions he riled me so I was very relieved. Also interestingly another nhs doctor we saw for IVF consult basically said he had a reputation, and not in a good way.

Waves to everyone I have missed!

seamermaid Wed 11-Dec-13 08:21:15

Euro hope the wait is bearable. Work as a distraction sounds like the best way. When is OTD? Will you be testing early?

Joy I know what you mean about feeling waves of sadness. It catches me unaware sometimes too. It's good to stay hopeful. You hear so many couples falling pregnant when they stop thinking about it. Why not you. It CAN and does happen. Look at Cos and Sar. They are both excellent examples. smile

I haven't had another immune. Mr T likes to do it just before stimms but not during DR. It looks like stimms will fall on the period when Chicago is shut. They did want me this might be slightly suboptimal and the big guy might decide to just give me ivig or/and intralipids 'just in case'. I guess it will be a judgement call rather than based on actual results. Thanks for considering me a "normal". I have to say I don't feel if at all. I feel quite nervous about this whole process I guess we will get to find out if there is even fertilisation after all these years!

Fox - that's strange about different nipples. Do you think it's down to some of the drugs?

Afm not much to report. Still sniffing away. Had an encounter with a horrid work associate yesterday who made me feel really bad. The usual sexist attitude about women who have kids being less than committed to work etc. He basically asked if after my years of hard work doing my masters I'm going to now "waste it" all by popping out some kids. I encounter quite a lot of this in my industry and normally it's water off a ducks back but last night it really got to me and I had a little cry when I got home. I really hope this is effects of DR and not me.

CocoAndNuts Wed 11-Dec-13 08:28:30

Quick post as I'm on the phone, on route to work.

Lost the thread for a bit there and come back to find an ironidiff!!!! Omg cos that's amazing. I'm so thrilled for you. Your Dr never prescribed gesterone in 20 years?... I think there needs to be some Dr education!!

seamermaid Wed 11-Dec-13 08:36:39

Forget to say to Ten. Good luck on your 2ww. I hope the other two will thrive and they end up in the freezer. Glad you had a lovely woman doc as well. Who is this other doc? He sounds awful!

eurochick Wed 11-Dec-13 08:52:08

ten that's interesting that you have a similar view of the Greek guy. The woman was so much less rough. Good luck for your 2ww, and I hope you end up with something to freeze too!

sea OTD is Thursday 19th (14dpEC). I will test at 12dpEC as I have got a faint positive at that point on all previous cycles.

That's terrible sea! I'm intrigued as to what industry you work in. Promotion stats show that similar attitudes still prevail in the law, but as lawyers have some understanding of discrimination laws, they usually have the good sense not to say anything out loud.

fox that's odd about your nips. Mine look just as they did before IVF!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 11-Dec-13 08:54:49

Morning lovelies!

I am still reeling of cos news. I am so delighted for you. I might have some spare progesterone, if we're setting up a drug racket, and a vial of gonal-f, neither of which I'll use soon. I found it really tough impossible to believe a diffment could stick, in fact I have spent the whole first trimester firmly in denial and I yesterday finally told some (important) people I work with at 14 weeks. But what I meant to say cos, once you have that BFP, the chances are it will stick, and will grow into a perfect bouncy baby. I am thinking of you, particularly in the scary part to the first scans.

Euro, I am with sar in that you are not done yet. Firstly, you're PUPO. There might be a perfect little euro-girl nestling in there. And secondly, if you can hack it, I second the option of LP, as you have plenty of follies and if there is a chromosomal issue, it might still be a numbers game, you migh just need more eggs to play with. However, not and never at the cost of your sanity. MrEuro sounds lovely a) because he does not like seeing you go mad SB was close to forbidding another round with LP when I came out of the druck-haze this summer, however, the frosties and diffment went some way to compensate for his worries, and b) because he gets you perfect presents. Be distracted, work hard and you'll see what can happen...

Sea I am so sorry about the comments and the little cry. Your office environment sounds horrid. My direct bosses are women with children, so they are delighted for us, rather than dismissive. It's crazy and crap that some careers still come with such huge chips on shoulders about something that is so normal, and I hasten to add, should not bugger your career even if it often does, still.

Ten hurrah for being PUPO! I really hope the other two make it to blast and give you another shot for number 2. For now I am thinking embedding thoughts to your and euro's embies!

Fox my nipples changed with my mc-pregnancy and never completely returned to their normal size/colour etc. So maybe it was your chemicals rather than IVF?
How are you otherwise? It sounds busy with work! Is that a nice distraction or a necessary evil? I am thinking of you all the time. Have a big hug!

Waves and hugs to all, nelly, joy, poutster, mrsd, free, buzzy, mad and arte!

freedom2011 Wed 11-Dec-13 10:36:08

So you know that massive snot crying fit if despair I had in Sunday night? And the earnest discussion with MrF about how we must start IVF in January because it's doing my head in and if that doesn't work we adopt. I think it might have been hormones because I just did a home pregnancy test and it's positive. Going to the doctors tomorrow morning to get the HCG values checked out to see if this is actually real.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 11-Dec-13 10:44:40

Congratulations Free! That is amazing news! It really is BFP Thread smile

eurochick Wed 11-Dec-13 10:44:52

Bloody hell free! That's awesome!

<makes note to let mrsd start all future freds with positive affirmations>

Poutintrout Wed 11-Dec-13 10:52:28

Two surprise BFPs in two days faints with excitement Free that is bloody wonderful! So, so happy and grinning like a loon. mrsd you are officially our new thread starter lucky charm grin

Tenmonthsandcounting Wed 11-Dec-13 10:57:11

Holy crap Free that is brilliant news!!!!!!!! Congratulations!

Euro my OTD is the 20th and the nurse looked quite confused when I asked if I could push the test to the 21st as I was busy on the 20th, I figure nothing is going to change the outcome. I hope this is your cycle!

Sea I hear you on the whole women being not as committed thing, I’m sorry that they were an idiot, and I am sure it is the DR that made you take it more personally than you usually would. I got asked by the head of my area if I was planning on having kids…..and they moved a pregnant colleague out of our area and took her off client work! The worst cases of this behaviour I know of is either my friends who are traders or a friend who is a barrister and was constructively dismissed (they just stopped giving her cases!) it never ceases to amaze me that this continues.

Lemons Yay for finally telling work people, it is great news that you are this far along and all is going smoothly!

sarlat Wed 11-Dec-13 11:36:44

Free - I am astounded and soooooo delighted for you!! 2 bfp's!!!!! Waters definitely going to burst now. Come on thread 18 - keep em rolling!

seamermaid Wed 11-Dec-13 12:08:47

Free! That's fab fab fab! Two in a week. Lucky thread 18 indeed!
Wooohooooo! I'm so happy for you.

Euro I work in financial services. To be fair when I was an employee at big firms many were actually v good to mums (depending on the role - not my function ) but I now work as a consultant and mainly with entrepreneurs in start ups or those who are in a growth phase and their attitude towards women of child bearing age can only be described as horrific. I have heard it all!! As Ten said, I'm usually okay with it but recently these comments have started to be v difficult indeed.

seamermaid Wed 11-Dec-13 12:10:07

Sar! I'm so excited for you Xmas baby. I can't believe you are almost there!

Buzzybee123 Wed 11-Dec-13 12:20:38

free massive congrats to you grin

sea tell your colleagues you don't communicate with inbred neanderthals from the dark ages hmm

ten fingers crossed for you my lovely

seamermaid Wed 11-Dec-13 12:21:12

Ten I meant to say I'm sorry you have had to contend with similar ignorance. I remember years ago in my twenties I was asked at an interview if I was married or intended to have kids soon ( I wasn't then). I was horrified then and made a formal complain to the recruiter. To be honest it's been 10 years since and in my experience unless you work for a big firm in my industry nothing has changed. Smaller firms are the worst but most of my clients are this group. What's sadder is I'm not an employee and have my own business so I don't expect maternity pay. They still don't like the fact I might have to take time off. The kinds of things that have been said are downright sexist. And almost all of these men have children but they do pretty much all have stay at home wives (nothing wrong with that). I do wonder if that's what affects their views.

seamermaid Wed 11-Dec-13 12:25:53

X post Buzz.
I would love to but these are not colleagues - but clients or potential clients. I would love to be in a position to only work with nice intelligent people but I don't always get that option. confused

CritterPants Wed 11-Dec-13 13:18:33

Yippee free! Congratulations lovely, what wonderful news! So happy for you and hurrah for the lucky thread.

Sea your clients sound dreadful. shock Screw them!

sweetgrouch Wed 11-Dec-13 13:19:17

Free- congrats! That is awesome!

Euro & ten - my fingers are crossed for both of you.

Sea - that sounds like some of the crap I have gotten too. It's hard to hear and can be very hurtful. Big hugs.

Sar- christmas baby! It is coming up fast. Have you been having lots of braxton hicks?

Lemon- It's great you finally told people at work!

Fox - that's strange about the nips. Mine changed with my mc and never went back. It could be hormonal?

MrsD - your positivity and optimism really seems to have worked.

waves to anyone I've missed! And apologies for the horrific phone typos.

joycep Wed 11-Dec-13 15:14:46

Congrats Free! That's exciting news!! I can't remember how long you've been trying - was it 3 years?. Can you do a recap?

Mrsd - I seem to remember you started another thread which had a number of bfps. Can you start all of them in future?!

Mrsden Wed 11-Dec-13 16:41:56

Woo hoo free! That's amazing, what made you poas? Did you do anything different this month? Remind us of your story again.

I've made a bus thread. Joy, you're right another one I started was full of bfps too. Wouldn't it be great of we got more bfps than a thread of fertiles? It's funny how the bfps come in batches. So who's next?

Mrsden Wed 11-Dec-13 16:46:09

Ten, fingers crossed for your little two.

Euro, I'm not liking the sound of the Greek guy. Lots of things annoy me about my dr, but I must say he is incredibly gentle. Scans, internal exams, ec, transfer, removing my stitches, smear, he has done them all and has never been rough or hurt me. I think some drs think this is important and take their time, while others forget we are a real person who feels pain.

freedom2011 Wed 11-Dec-13 17:04:13

Thanks for your congratulations and positivity. Let's see what the HCG values say and if it sticks. I am 35, 36 soon. MrF is 40 and has duff motility and morphology. I have extra long cycles and too many man hormones. And pcos apparently but I am not convinced about that. 4 years 8 months trying. 1 miscarriage in first trimester. 5x iui with clomid and another drug and injections to trigger. Then stopped all drugs and went to for 6 months. Hot foot baths, herbs and acupunture and massage. Daily exercise. Good food. And sex when instructed by tracker on fertility friend.

freedom2011 Wed 11-Dec-13 17:10:41

And a chemical pregnancy after fifth IUI. And I poas because Chinese doctor had made cycles shorter and thIs one was going the other way. And my nipples hurts. And because it would be sod's law as I have been enjoying wine chocolate and parties and five cigarettes (total not every day) th e last Two weeks after months of healthy living. And because last pregnancy in 2011 I also had a mega uncharacteristic melt down a couple of days before

joycep Wed 11-Dec-13 17:14:16

Crumbs Mrsd, I don't think I belong on a super fertile thread!
I can categorically tell you I won't be next. I am watching this from the Balcony or the Gods smile
Cos - how are you doing lovely? Just read a bit of thread where someone was shell shocked by a bfp having tried for 5 months (sigh/ gave up reading) and I thought wow, in that case Cos must feel like she has being hit by hundred nuclear bombs! !

joycep Wed 11-Dec-13 17:18:05

Bloody hell Free- what a fricking nightmare of a journey. It is really well past your time and I have everything crossed this is it for you. So I need to find a Chinese doctor pronto!

Mrsden Wed 11-Dec-13 17:30:06

Joy, I was just coming on here to moan about that thread. I can't understand anyone who would start a thread to shout about their bfp. But then that's because I'm a bitter and twisted infertile.

I totally identified with your bramble story. I find myself enjoying doing something and then remember I'd happily not ever do it again if I had a baby. I do wonder if it's ever possible to get over not having children. Will the pain disappear at some point?

Mrsden Wed 11-Dec-13 17:30:55

Free, what a story. It just fgoes to show it can happen. I'm liking the sound of your Chinese guy.

Ginestas Wed 11-Dec-13 17:56:37

OMG free! Congrats! Fab news. mrsd has truly created a 10+ers bus grin grin

ten congrats on being pupo. Interesting about that dr. One of the Greek ones (the one with tight trousers and no glasses), I really didn't like and he made me cry. Must be the same one. Mrs Nargund is so nice, as were the 2 male gynaes who've left in the last year, that it seems odd to employ someone with such a bad reputation...

Am still so thrilled re the bfps. cos has it sunk in? Amazing and I'm so so hoping there are a few more before Xmas. < looks at euro and ten>

Mrsden Wed 11-Dec-13 18:05:10

Any sign of the little Ginster yet? How are you doing?

Cosmonaut1 Wed 11-Dec-13 18:26:39

Free!!!! Wow, congratulations, and I especially love a bfp after loads of effort so well done you.

MrsD great thread, I wish everyone could fall one by one this / next month (--and that I don't miscarry--) that's my wish Santa I hope you're listening.

Joy I think I feel so many emotions at once that I feel a bit numb. You're bramble story made me sad, I can totally see you with a little bramble helper soon. It's so hard to see it for yourself isn't it. I remember Art saying that when we met and now look!

Foxxy so sorry about them there nipples. So glad you posted that here and not on t'other place grin. It is highly vexing the changes Ivf brings. My tache has never been the same since, I have a permanent Tom Selleck number.

Ten you're Pupo, great news! Good luck for the 2ww.

Cosmonaut1 Wed 11-Dec-13 18:28:06

Gin and Sar massive luck for the births in case I don't get another chance. And update us afterwards!

eurochick Wed 11-Dec-13 18:33:47

Wow cos - you really have completed the fertility marathon! What a well-deserved BFP.

I sighed at that thread too, joy and mrsd.

gin I have seen 3 different greek guys there. One did a lot of my scans (including the 2 for the mc) at Harley St. I haven't seen him this cycle, so I assume he has gone. He was ok. I've seen 2 others at wimbledon. One fairly slim with a lot of hair product. I always felt a bit ick looking at that mop between my legs when he was down there ! He did my first couple of collections. The bigger greek guy was still there and did EC for this cycle. He was the one who did my 3rd EC where there was the bleed, and the awful transfer in that cycle, and I find him very rough. The new woman was so much better.

seamermaid Wed 11-Dec-13 18:42:25

MrsD you clearly have the touch!

Free that's an amazing journey. So so happy for you. I don't suppose your Chinese doc is based in London is he? [running to free's doc at first opportunity]

Joy I know it must be hard to feel hopeful after the tough time you have been through. I will keep positive for you.

Hope Euro and Ten, our PUPOs are doing okay. You ladies should be the next in line for this BFP bonanza thread. grin

foxinorangesocks Wed 11-Dec-13 21:42:12

Woo hoo free, that is fantastic it really is. Den you conjured up a magic thread! It is funny how it comes in batches and it really does. Does a super close moon effect this? I like moon woo. I reckon the moon would have to graze its arse against my house to get me pregnant though! Isaw the thread. I was worried at that point but now it seems lightening quick.

ArtemisTheHunter Wed 11-Dec-13 21:55:22

Free!!!!! What fantastic news. I'm doing the tail feather dance with all my might in the hope of a bus full of BFPs before Christmas. It's about time!

Euro, ick at the hair product between the legs doctor! I don't like the sound of the tight pants/no glasses guy either. Are you sure he really is a doctor and not just a Greek waiter gone astray?

Waves and big luffs to everyone. Autocorrect just tried to change that to 'big muffs'... Better quit typing while I'm ahead grin

CocoAndNuts Wed 11-Dec-13 22:26:48

free YAY!!!!! That's one well earned BFP.

sea it's a shame you can't tell your clients to shove it. I work in a male dominated industry but fortunately they are on the whole more enlightened. There are still stupid sexist comments though, unfortunately things aren't quite as equal as they should be yet.

euro ten here's hoping your tww makes this a bumper month.

fox your arse grazing moon did make me grin

tww nearly up. Lacking boob ache this cycle which has caused some mentalling. Fallen off the carb, alcohol, caffine wagon with a pre-Christmas blow out. Enjoyable but feeling the guilt now.
It's getting late. So catch ya later lovely ladies xx

Cosmonaut1 Thu 12-Dec-13 08:11:09

Had really bad cramps last night so did another test this morning and now bfn (both digis)... so that didn't last long. Ffs.....really p****d off!!!

ArtemisTheHunter Thu 12-Dec-13 08:19:16

Oh Cos love, I should think you're a bit beyond pissed off... WTF? Have you had any bleeding, or just the cramps? (Cramping is normal in early pg but bloody terrifying). I'm hoping you've just got a duff batch of digis this morning. Worth going to your GP for a blood test? I really hope this one works out for you,it has to be your time x

Mrsden Thu 12-Dec-13 08:34:35

Oh cos, can you get to the gp for a blood test to find out what's going on? Could you try a non digital? They're not that sensitive I don't think. I've got everything crossed for you.

Cosmonaut1 Thu 12-Dec-13 08:40:42

I've done a non digital too - its def gone.

Mrsden Thu 12-Dec-13 09:02:18

I wish I could be with you in real life cos so I could give you a hug. I know there's nothing any of us can say to make it less painful. Is there any value in getting it recorded as a mc by the GP?

sarlat Thu 12-Dec-13 09:36:27

Cos - I am dreadfully sorry. What an awful awful change of events. Definitely get this recorded as a mc with the gp. You poor thing, this is just not fair.

But I think we have to take the following from this situation. Egg and sperm can and clearly do meet and probably always have. In order to support implantation and early pregnancy, you require gestone or similar. You have had a chemical pregnancy which is very normal especially considering this is the first time implantation has been supported in a natural cycle and many women have many of these as part of normal fertility with a non viable embryo being the main reason.

So, are you able to get more gestone and simply keep trying beteeen natural and fet? This is not the end for you sweetheart. Remember if it weren't for the many years of ttc behind you, you would see this cp as a slightly positive thing in that your body knows what to do. I am sure I had a cp 2 months before my bfp and many people do all the time.

Big hugs cos, thinking of you.

freedom2011 Thu 12-Dec-13 09:52:53

Sorry cos that's such a shame. Send you lots of sympathy. It will happen again.

joycep Thu 12-Dec-13 10:30:18

No no no Cos. this is so bloody unfairl. Why cant you have a break for god sake, it just sucks.I do second what Sar says though. This has been immense progress and I think you have found the missing bit of the jigsaw. I'm just sorry it has turned out like this. Thinking of you.

Mrsden Thu 12-Dec-13 10:46:42

Very wise words from sar as always.

I am excited to report that there is a stork sat on my garden fence. This has to be a sign, does it not? No baby in its beak though.

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 10:47:15

No! That is just too cruel. FFS. Cos I'm so sorry.

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 10:50:17

mrsd that must be a sign.

I was woken in the night by some quite severe cramping. I'm 6 dpEC, so clearly implantation is trying to happen. But I've had similar on all my IVF cycles and I know it doesn't mean a good outcome, so I am not excited about it. Just very sleep deprived! Zzzzz

Mrsden Thu 12-Dec-13 10:53:18

Mmm, that's interesting euro. So if implantation is occurring then the little embie is still going strong at this stage. I really don't think implantation has ever happened for me, I'm sure ours stops developing at 3 or 4 days.

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 10:56:22

Our embies must always get this far, for there to be some HCG produced (and I've had positive tests on all 3 IVF cycles). I think it's after this point we have problems.

Poutintrout Thu 12-Dec-13 11:17:12

No cos, no. I am so angry that this has happened to you, after the hell you have been through you deserved so much better. I won't go on, I just want to send you love and tell you that I will be thinking of you. I've actually got a tight chest with anger.

Ginestas Thu 12-Dec-13 11:29:29

cos I'm so so sorry. It's just so unfair. As usual Sar's words are v wise. You have cracked part of the puzzle and are getting to implantation stage now. I'm sure it's just a case of waiting for the right embie. Not that this will make you feel any better right now. Lots of love x

euro that's good that at least the embie sounds like it's made it to implantation. Like mrsd I don't think any of ours ever got that far, although I did wonder on our last full ivf, as I had 1 day of feeling preggo (prob all in my mind...)

Hair product Greek guy was the one I liked, big Greek guy is the one who made it's only a speculum comment as he rammed it in I wanted to shove it up his arse and make the same comment. Tight trouser Greek guy was another one! V intrigued as to which one has the bad reputation ten. We once saw the big one and the tight trouser one having a full blown row in Greek!

mrsd a stalk eh? A sign for sure! I'm ok ta. Due date is Sat and they'll induce me on the 21st if no baby by then <gulp> I'm hoping fox's full moon will encourage the baby to arrive, as well as bring some luck to the Fred.

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 11:37:40

gin I quite liked hair product guy too - aside from the view downwards during procedures.

You're going to have a baby by Christmas! How bloody wonderful.

joycep Thu 12-Dec-13 12:38:43

A stork den??? That has to be a sign! When are you going to do a FeT?

Euro - Do you have any thoughts about your high Nk cells? Or don't you think they matter? Just intrigued that you are clearly getting to blasto on a lot of occasions and i wonder whether your immunes are playing a part. A piece of the jigsaw perhaps? Technically the body is doing a good job if it doesn't allow faulty embryos to implant. It is suppose to reject faulty ones. However and impossible to know whether some people's bodies are rejecting good ones. I had strong pinching in my womb 24 hours after both egg transfers. The first time I only thought about it retrospectively after bfp and so I was very aware of it after the second round but because my embryos were so bad I knew it wouldn't take and hence ever so slight hcg in my body. My immunes were being dealt with so I felt confident that my body did a good job not letting me get pregnant. But sometimes I question this immune stuff and I wonder whether I have been sold a great big lie.

Gin and Sar are going to have amazing Xmas stockings this year! I do hope you will still post every now and again after the new arrivals. Come tell us if giving birth is a piece of cake compared to years of fertility struggles!

Ten - I forgot to say how good it is that you are Pupo. Did you get any blasts in the end?

Had to tell off my colleague yesterday. God she moans about being pregnant and feeling fat. She knows about my probs so when she was moaning about putting on weight and stretch marks for the 5th time this week, I told her it was a very small price to pay for having a baby. I think she then twigged I wasn't the right audience to give sympathy!

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 14:47:11

joy the immune theory makes an awful lot of sense to me, but I no longer believe in it as much as I did. The consultant we saw at CRGH said that the only marker that was high on my results is no longer thought to play a significant role, which means my immune results were effectively normal. But who knows what is going on with us.

Well done you for making the point to her! I'm sure pregnancy isn't a bed of roses for everyone, but you are really not the person to moan at!

seamermaid Thu 12-Dec-13 14:48:13

Cos - I am so so sorry to hear this news. None of it is fair. I think Sar made some great points. You are getting closer and I hope so so much that you get your baby. Big handhold.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 12-Dec-13 16:49:47

Oh cos, so sorry! I think sar speaks wise words as always. I had a cp after IVF two months before this one... Handhold and hug! Waves to all!

Cosmonaut1 Thu 12-Dec-13 17:58:32

Den an actual stork, that has to be a sign! What's your plan btw, FET? Natural or with meds?

Euro I think that is very interesting and a good sign - there's something reassuring about the consistency, non? And what happens next, I hope you get the news you want (and deserve!). They must still be going at this point. I wonder if any doc has ever done a probability sliding scale of the likelihood of getting to different stages, like I wonder if one part of the development stage is particularly tricky? When will you test?

Joy oh good for you for speaking up! And I agree about this immune theory it's so hard to know what to believe. My consultant Mr 'No evidence' is adamantly against it - says there's no evidence funnily enough.

Thank you all for your good wishes today. It makes such a difference to have a group like you lot who all know and understand and say such nice things! Sar I re-read your post several times this morning, thank you. Especially kind as you and Gin should probably be relaxing instead of following our dramas!

So just to thread hog for a minute (sorry) I went to see Mr No evidence this afternoon as I had booked it to discuss what meds to carry on taking for the pg (oh well..), ((and I have to say what a difference to see someone who not just remembers you, but actually knows you and your history - I said 'I have a confession to make (meaning the gestone) and he said 'you always have a confession to make'!)) He's really very sweet and quite cautious and balanced. Anyway I digress. So basically we ended up discussing that if I wanted to I could go and have a couple of scans on a normal cycle and then 1/2 days after ov take the dosage of progesterone he would be recommending if it was an Ivf cycle (400mg cyclogest twice daily plus 50mg gestone injection every other day - about twice what I took this time). He is not very hopeful for this because, you guessed it, there's no evidence it will work. So can I please just take a quick straw poll regardi f what I should do next. Options are:
a) as per above
b) FET with above progesterone
c) fresh Ivf with above prog
d) go to to the warwick implantation clinic and have womb nk cells measured etc which from what ive read is likely to lead to treatment plan of extra progesterone plus steroid immune treatment
e) go back to Shehata for more full on immune treatment with god knows what in terms of conception assistance.

Gah. So confused. Plan a would prob cost £300 per cycle and is local with least drugs, and I could probably have a few goes at it if I wanted. Shall I go for them in order of least to most quantity of drugs and cost do you think? So far best success is with FET, prog and immune, and this cp was just prog. What would you do?

seamermaid Thu 12-Dec-13 18:40:43

Cos what were your immune results like when you saw shehata?

Cosmonaut1 Thu 12-Dec-13 19:29:13

The nk cell count was normal but activation level was extremely high. Rest was normal but he doesn't do full Chicago tests.

Tenmonthsandcounting Thu 12-Dec-13 19:49:56

Cos NOOO I am so sorry that is utterly utterly shit. The other ladies have all said wise words, but I cant imagine how disappointed you must feel. It did happen though, and although it is of little comfort I am sure this is a positive step. In terms of your next steps I’m afraid I don’t really understand the NK cells etc but my preference would be to give it a few months on the least drugs/stress protocol so I think that is option A, because all you do is loose a few months and if you don’t try you never know. But as I said I have no idea about these things at all.

Sea Grand frommage at a training course in front of a hundred new grads when asked about the lack of senior women in our business ‘well my wife stays home to look after the children, lots of women want to just do that what’s the problem’. Sigh. Hope the DR is going well.

Coco Occasionally (or more than that) it does you good to have a blow out. I keep forgetting I am not meant to drink lots of coffee or diet coke etc each day at the moment (which is weird as usually I am strictly a one cup a day girl anyway). Enjoy it, sod the guilt!

Euro Interesting about the implantation pains, that is a good sign I know you have been here before but at least you are here again, this is good news so far! The greek guy I don’t like looks a bit rubbery (that is the only way I can describe it, so not only do I find his attitude offensive he gives me the heebie jeebies, less than ideal when putting your feet in stirrups.

Gin I have only seen one greek guy there, I think he has both hair product and glasses and he isn’t massive but he isn’t small either (Mr T is quite a big guy so my idea of what is big and small is a bit wonky). Nearly there now – how exciting!!! Start trying all the old wives tales now!

Den Stork is definitely a sign!

Joy I don’t know yet, they called me today and said they hadn’t reached blasto yet and they would call me tomorrow to let me know if they do by then, I guess if they don’t at that stage they just die or whatever??? It is all a mystery to me. It surprises me that people are still as insensitive as your colleague. In my peer group people don’t complain about pregnancy symptoms, I think it is because 1) they are aware they brought this on themselves therefore sympathy (like for hangovers) is not deserved and 2) we are of an age that some have trouble so they should just shut up and be grateful. I am especially gobsmacked given she knows you are trying etc!

Waves to Buzzy Pout Lemons Sar Buzzy CritterSweet**Fox and everyone else I have missed!

AFM no signs or symptoms, apart from forgetting and going to have a glass of wine/coffee before remembering I cant. I have missed a work Christmas part tonight, I cant face any more people asking me if I am pregnant as I am not drinking (yes people are still this moronic). I have no faith this has worked as I don’t think they were great embies, so fine, we luckily have another cycle in Jan lined up on the NHS so I will just look forward to that, and having lots of champagne on NYE..! There is ALWAYS a bright side hey.

seamermaid Thu 12-Dec-13 20:22:46

Cos - if I were in your shoes I would probably go for either FET or fresh cycle with above prog support. Would you consider doing Chicago immunes somewhere? I think there are other places that do it apart from the Argy. I would be a bit wary of Warwick because I know they actually do a biopsy (my relative - who does fertility treatments always warned me against this). This is just my personal opinion. You do make embies and they do implant or try to implant so it feels like maybe with just the right support you will get there.

I agree with Joy and Euro about immunes. Despite my choice of clinics I am 50/50 about immunes but all my scientist friends seems it isn't just a money making scheme. I think it makes sense to go down that route if implantation is an issue though. I actually think it makes less sense for people (like me) who have never even been preg or had a cp... but who knows. what are you leaning towards?

Mrsd - A stoke is a good sign indeed.

Joy - You did well to tell your colleague. Some people need a reality check.

Ten - angry at the big cheese. These attitudes never ceases to amaze me. My acu always tells me there really aren't many signs until you are much further along. I am still very hopeful it's your turn for a BFP.

Gin & Sar - I really feel happy "seeing" how far along you ladies are and you are almost there.

Waves to everyone.

Buzzybee123 Thu 12-Dec-13 20:47:29

cos Prof Q and Prof B released a paper on immunes , sounds like your guy hasn't read it, perhaps see Gorgy, there is also Reagan and Dr N at Zita West. Prof Q, is very good too, she does a biopsy which I have been told is more acurate than just bloods, maybe talk to the girls on the Pred thread most have started with Shehata but have also seen one of the others mentioned above.

foxinorangesocks Thu 12-Dec-13 21:07:46

Cos. I am so sorry this has happened to you, I can't even express it. Sar gives brilliant advice though. Whilst I'm sure it doesn't feel like it now, this is a positive thing in that you are discovering what helps your body. Now it's about continuing to explore and tweak - I really think you will do this. As for what to do next, I've been thinking about this and a bit like you I'm torn between exploring the more minimal treatment options or going full guns blazing, it's hard. I think this shows you can do this without ivf but with prog or prog and immune stuff? Might be worth an explore before putting yourself through the ivf wringer again? You can still do that later down the line next year? But I understand just wanting to fully maximise everything too. I wish I could just come round and give you a big fat hug.

I'm not getting chance to read much as I'm teaching so much at the moment. But love to euro - it's a good sign I think. And ten, hold in there.

I need to sleep for a year. General ten plus loves in every direction.

joycep Thu 12-Dec-13 22:55:22

Cos - you make blasts and you have made a lot of frosties so on this basis I think you don't have to worry about that area. I think everything with you points to implantation issues. On this basis, I therefore think that you should be looking at treatment with progesterone but alongside immunes. I think those are the two main things that help implantation aren't they? So if I was in your position I would probably get the Chicago tests done and then do the FET alongside progesterone and immunes. I dont know much about the biopsy stuff but if it shows high nk cells , is the treatment any different? Whilst waiting for fet, I think it would be good to see if you can do some natural cycles with progesterone and a few Benadryl on the side!. But mr evidence surely doesn't need to scan you for this as you know when you ovulate, he just needs to supply you with the progesterone. Scans are so expensive. I can't help but feel you need some steroids or something that you could take when you get your next bfp just so you are covering your bases. If FET didn't work I would think about doing a fresh cycle. You have now been pregnant twice this year and I just think it is only a matter if time. I really sense you are getting so close now . I do suspect your ivf pregnancy was a chromosome issue so utter bad luck and it just seems a coincidence that you were having all the immune treatments at that time and you got to 7-8 weeks. How are you feeling after the horrible roller coaster of the last few days?
Be back tomorrow, sorry if doesnt make sense, I have drifted off several times whilst trying to write this!

sweetgrouch Fri 13-Dec-13 00:10:48

Cos - I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I do think it is a positive sign that you got a bfp after taking progesterone. I would probably follow someone else's (likely wiser) advice than my own. I think Sar really put everything in perspective and that joy, fox, buzzy, sea gave quite a bit food for thought. Once again - I am sending you a huge hug.

Joy - Good for you for saying something. I can't believe that she was complaining to you about her pregnancy woes. That is just so insensitive.

Fox - good luck with the teaching. I always found it got busy close to exams and holiday breaks. This is the first fall in a few years that I have done none!

Ten - No signs or symptoms is not a bad thing. Keep sticking in there!

Gin and Sar - Good luck with the impending labour. It's amazing you will likely have your babies before Christmas.

Waves, tail feathers and some of the cookies I just made to everyone and anyone I have missed.

freedom2011 Fri 13-Dec-13 08:03:20

ten and euro, still hoping hard for you two and everyone else. cos, i said it before but i am very sorry it didn't work out this time.

the doctor's visit yesterday went ok. he did a scan, there is a tiny sac, nothing else to see. could be too early. he's prescribed progesterone to be inserted twice a day. I'm doing this in a foreign language so I had to ask him and the nurse to repeat the instruction to make sure I'd understood. Next visit is 3 weeks and 5 days to see if it's stuck and if there is anything in the sac. so I will just lurk quietly until then.

freedom2011 Fri 13-Dec-13 08:06:22

I forgot - HCG values were ok at 4870 mIU/ml

eurochick Fri 13-Dec-13 10:32:53

cos I have nothing to add - you've had some great advice above. Oh just one thing actually, have you tried the scratch? I can't remember. It's another thing that is supposed to help with implantation.

free the HCG seems nice and high. How far along do you think you are?

AFM, I've had more cramps this morning. The bean is clearly trying, at least.

freedom2011 Fri 13-Dec-13 11:44:06

Come on euro bean

euro I think the 4th or 5th week. I'm hoping 4th as there was really nothing to see in the scan at all. Other than a black dot. I am wondering about cancelling Christmas travel. I've got some worrying crampy feelings. Trying not to hope too hard. Impossible.

eurochick Fri 13-Dec-13 12:37:19

I think some cramping is normal as your womb reshapes from flat to round to accommodate bean. That scan does sound extremely early, so try not to worry about not seeing much. Fingers crossed!

sweetgrouch Fri 13-Dec-13 16:34:11

Free- The HCG seems quite good. 4-5 weeks is super early for a scan, I think it is normal not to see much.

Euro- I am cheering this bean along.

AFM - I just found out I am group B strep positive, which means the Drs are trying to decide if I should start antibiotics now, get IV antibiotics during labour or if they should do both.

Gin - If I recall, you are also group B strep positive. If you don't mind sharing, what is your treatment plan?

Cosmonaut1 Fri 13-Dec-13 19:17:28

Euro and Free, cramping sounds good news, come on the beans. Wishing you both loads of luck.

Thanks all and apologies for the self involvement.

eurochick Fri 13-Dec-13 19:31:55

You are not being self-involved at all!

How are you feeling today?

Mrsden Fri 13-Dec-13 20:05:38

You're not self involved cos. and even if you were you're allowed to be. I feel so upset on your behalf so I can't imagine how you're feeling. Tight squeeze for you.

Euro, that sounds quite promising if you feel like something's happening.

I'm grumpy this evening, dh is at a last minute arranged works thing and I'm home alone feeling sorry for myself. He better be up for Xmas shopping tomorrow morning because it's all his family left to buy for and I'm not doing it alone. Even if he has a hangover from Hell.

Cosmonaut1 Fri 13-Dec-13 20:13:00

MrsD what is it with men, I always do my own / my family shopping alone and then have to do all his jointly! Grrr.

I feel most odd - very physically exhausted and quite dizzy but like its just cos my brain's had enough and is just offloading it elsewhere. Skipped Xmas work drinks.

Euro when will you test?

Mrsden Fri 13-Dec-13 20:16:23

Have you been crying a lot, cos? I find that wipes me out and leaves me feeling like crap. Are you sure it's all over? Has af turned up?

Dh would leave Xmas shopping to Xmas eve which he has done many a year. He forgets that we need to post stuff to the uk. I suspect we've already missed the last posting date.

freedom2011 Fri 13-Dec-13 20:25:49

cos I also don' think you are self-involved. of course you are thinking about what is going on with you right now and trying to deal with that and need to talk about it. That is completely normal and what I like about this thread being a safe place to talk and all the kind people on it.

freedom2011 Fri 13-Dec-13 20:27:50

mrsden - can you internet order and ship to england?

Cosmonaut1 Fri 13-Dec-13 20:28:18

Grr annoying. Is there a nice cosy bar you can hole up in drinking mulled wine till he's done tomorrow? Do you speak the lingo where you are btw?

No tears yet. I'm a bit of a bottler - maybe I need to do that to release it. No af yet but ovary twinges.

Cosmonaut1 Fri 13-Dec-13 20:28:52

Free very true

eurochick Fri 13-Dec-13 21:30:11

mrsd I have the whole weekend to myself. Mr euro has gone to visit the inlaws in Ireland to deliver Xmas presents. I love it. smile

He's actually quite good at pulling his weight on the present stuff. The card writing tends to fall to me but his family don't go in much for that where as mine does.

Something's definitely happening, but then "something" always does, so it doesn't mean much. I'm trying to ignore it, but it has been impossible not to notice the cramps. They have eased off now though.

cos we all obsess on here when we are going through something horrible and/or confusing, and support the others when it's their turn. It's how it works. We're here for you. (I appear to have nominated myself the 10+ers spokesperson by this point, but as I know these posters so well at this point I know they will feel the same.)

OTD is next Thursday (14dpEC). I will probably test on Tuesday as I have always got a positive by 12dpEC and if it turns out to be another chemical I would rather know.

seamermaid Fri 13-Dec-13 22:00:14

Cos - I agree with MrsD, Free and Euro. You are not self involved at all. You have been through an awful lot. I do think it would be good release to have a good cry though- all in good time. Big hand hold.

Euro - I am hopeful that bean is nuzzling in nice and tight. You are still sounding quite chilled. I am impressed. I know what you mean about having the place to yourself. Now and again it's lovely to just be in your own company.

Mrsd - Quite right that you should drag Mrd shopping. MrS is awful with gifts. I buy all the presents for everyone every year but I actually enjoy shopping for others so I don't make too much of it. smile

Free - Try not to worry about the scan. It is v early so you can't expect to see much. I know it's easier said than done. I am keeping everything crossed for you that you have a worry free pregnancy.

AFM, day 6 of DR feeling really fluey and coughing a lot. I think I got sick and the DR drugs are making it just that bit worst. Spent the day retching and running to the loo and now I am sure everyone thinks I am pregnant when I am just ill and anxious (this makes me retch and dry heave usually). Wondering when AF will come...

joycep Fri 13-Dec-13 22:35:44

oh Cos, it's horrible for you. I hope you're ok. Have you tested again, is it still bfn? (& you're not self involved!)

Euro - i'm willig this eurobean to be bedding down. It's clearly very vocal.

Sea - you poor love. You don't get sick normally do you? Has the humira done its thing I wonder? They whole thing is anxiety inducing. It's not easy but you'll be surprised how quickly time goes especially once you start stemming.

Mrsd - sorry you are home alone tonight.


lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sat 14-Dec-13 08:05:25

Morning lovelies!

Good luck with Christmas shopping with the unwilling man, mrsd. How annoying he does not pull his weight... SB is actually very good with present shopping both for his side and all the small people on my side.

Well done on the bedding down eurobean. Glad it has clearly reached blast, hatched and doing its thing. Let's just hope this is The One. You sound very relaxed still, euro, I am very impressed with it all.

Cos the others have said it, but I'll say it again, you are not self-involved and even if you were it would be fine. Massive hug and some chocolate. This is just difficult.

As to what next, my approach would probably be very prog-supported FET but that is just cos that worked for me after mc and cp

Sea so sorry you've been feeling rough. It sounds like your immunes are taking a break, which is a good thing. Annoying to get suspicious colleagues!

Waves and tail feathers to all of you.

eurochick Sat 14-Dec-13 09:35:37

sea I've just looked back and my period arrived on my 9th day of downregging, a couple of days late. It's not unusual for it to be a bit delayed by the drugs.

I'm sorry you are feeling so crap though. DRing is hard enough without being ill on top. Do you have something nice planned for the weekend?

How are you feeling today cos?

I am still pretty relaxed. I think I have so little hope that this one will work out after what the embryologist said last weekend, that it's actually helping me to manage to 2ww. I have ridiculous constipation from the progesterone at the moment. That might be responsible for at least some of the cramping!

Cosmonaut1 Sat 14-Dec-13 10:11:02

Morning all. Relaxed is good Euro. Fingers crossed for Eurobean, and like Lemon it must be getting beyond hatching blast stage. What prog are you taking? I'm better for a good nights sleep. I think once af starts ill be feeling more normal. How's everyone else doing?

eurochick Sat 14-Dec-13 11:49:08

The minging cyclogest pessaries, twice a day. Bleugh.

When I mc'd my fanjo was so sick of sanpro - it had had almost 6 weeks of cyclogest ick and then 2 weeks of bleeding to contend with.

I'm glad you got a good night's sleep, cos. That makes everything seem better.

Cosmonaut1 Sat 14-Dec-13 13:23:44


Cosmonaut1 Sat 14-Dec-13 13:33:43

Euro can you remember with Mr S's super ov programme whether that included the pessaries?

Buzzybee123 Sat 14-Dec-13 15:44:28

cos yes he suggests prog for everything

seamermaid Sat 14-Dec-13 17:26:05

Thanks for the sympathies ladies. Had the worst night - cold, hot, coughing and retching. The humira might finally be working because this is the worst cold I have had in ages. I am a bit concerned about the DR spray now as I am so so bunged up.

Joy - This is the 2nd time I have been properly sick this year.

Euro - I am hoping AF hurries up. 9 days seems average I think. I have family over this weekend but the kind that I have to look after and cook for... I wish I could just stay in bed for the weekend.

Sorry to hear about constipation... would some linseeds with water help? I find it works well.

Cos - I am glad you got a good night's sleep.

CritterPants Sun 15-Dec-13 09:26:27

cos I am so bloody sorry that you are going through this. What a horrible thing to happen. I know it is zero consolation, but two mcs in a year suggests that it is only a matter of time before one sticks (although it's totally miserable emotionally and physically). It is good news that on the first time you used progesterone, in an unassisted cycle, you had a bfp. I agree with Sar that it suggests that egg and sperm met and probably always have. And that for other women, cps probably happen very frequently and are followed by sticky beans. It's just that when you've been trying as long as the 10 plussers, the stakes are much much higher. The other ladies have better advice than me on what to do next - but it should definitely involve progesterone, given your recent experience. I am thinking of you lots. Please be gentle and kind to yourself. This is like a bereavement, after everything you've been through in the past few months.

euro sweet girl I am thinking of you and am so in awe, as always, of how you've managed to stay supportive of others and calm during this round, after an exhausting year. I am hoping and hoping for your little embie and sending lots and lots of bedding in thoughts across the Atlantic. I so want you to have the best surprise Christmas present ever. You deserve it so much.

sea sorry you're feeling so awful. You've been through so much, it seems unfair to get flu on top of everything else. I remember the downregging feeling like it took ages. I do think and hope you'll feel better once you can finally start stimming. I'm rooting for you lovely.

free those hcg levels sound really good. I know these next few weeks will be tortuous, but 4-5 weeks is really really early to see more than just a tiny sac. I am quietly sending 'hang in there' thoughts to your growing bean.

mrsd online ordering is the way to go with Christmas presents and recalcitrant husbands. Mine is quite good in terms of his intentions but gets overwhelmed by the shops. Hope you're having lots of yummy European treats and gluhwein.

Love and a big floofy tail feather zhuzh to everyone else. flowers

eurochick Mon 16-Dec-13 08:35:56

The thread's quiet atm, isn't it?

cos two pessaries a day, so whatever dose that is. How are you doing?

sea I hope you are feeling better by now.

AFM... I just caved and tested. It was a faint BFP. But I've been here before and can't get excited (although my imagination is running away with itself).

I kind of knew for the last few days - insomnia, exhaustion, boobs like bazookas and feeling dizzy a couple of times when I got up too quick. How wonderful it would be to be a first time instadiffer without the memories of what happened last time and the knowledge of the shit I had to go through to get here.

So no congratulations please, ladies. I can't handle it. Just some handholding and crossed fingers for a nice strong HCG number from the blood test on Thursday.

CritterPants Mon 16-Dec-13 09:01:08

Euro not congratulating you but offering a super tight paw squeeze and sending gentle encouragement to your bean. Hang in there.

seamermaid Mon 16-Dec-13 09:22:09

Euro - I am growing some extra hands to offer handholds and crossing fingers for you. I really really want this to be your time. Fertility gods please do your thing.... it's her time.
I feel for you Euro, I know this will be a gut wretchingly worrying time. Oh to be an instadiffer..

Mrsden Mon 16-Dec-13 09:24:15

Fingers tightly crossed for you euro. This is positive though, and I know it's so hard to think of a good outcome after your previous experiences I really do think that this might be it, why not? How many dpo are you?

I was on 800mg per day. Fat lot of good it did though. I don't think low progesterone is our problem. I know we're not getting to the implantation stage. Almost four years and never had a bfp. Fet should be end of jan/ Feb. I'm hoping we can do our final round of Ivf in July or August.

joycep Mon 16-Dec-13 09:24:18

Euro - wishing and hoping that this is a sticky bean. It's so sad that what should be a joyous occasion is in fact a crappy wait.

Mrsden Mon 16-Dec-13 09:26:32

That is the crap thing about long term ttc. We have to put up with nerve racking waits. I sometimes think that if my first Ivf round had worked I'd also think Ivf was easy, having a failed round puts a very different spin on things.

sarlat Mon 16-Dec-13 09:46:55

Euro - firm handholds and sticky cakes winging their way to you. X

sea - so sorry you have been feeling rotten. This is not an easy path, big hugs.

free - I truely believe your scan is too early to see anything other than the sac. Hang on in there sweetheart.

den - great to hear fet is on the cards soon. Sounds like a good time of year to go again. Try to block out all things ttc and allow yourself a super duper Christmas.

cos - how are you my lovely? I think joy gave good advice about what to do next. I agree that the full blown fresh cycle doesnt appear warranted just yet and natural and fet cycles supported with the correct progesterone and immune meds may be the missing link.

Hello to the lovely fox, joy, pout, lemon, critter and everyone.

sweetgrouch Mon 16-Dec-13 14:10:12

Euro - Big paw squeeze. The long term TTC does feel like one stressful wait after the next. I am sending sticky thoughts your way.

Sea - I hope your cold is subsiding by now.

MrsD - The FET sounds promising. I agree with everyone else who suggested online shopping as the way forward for the Christmas gifts.

Hello and waves to Fox, Joy, Pout, Critter, Lemon, Cosmo, Sar, Free, Gin, Buzz and everyone I have missed. I hope your winter holidays start soon and are enjoyable.

I will be heading out shortly to shovel some more - I have to say I love snow around the holidays smile.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 16-Dec-13 14:12:34

Just letting you all know that I am v much thinking if you all and crossing everything for good numbers and sticky beans, esp for euro! Free got the numbers already smile

joycep Mon 16-Dec-13 15:26:00

Sea- any better?

Sweet- you have snow? I can't remember where you are but very envious.

I have begun to get very sore breasts before ovulation again. Anyone have any theories on this? I wonder if it is a hormone imbalance. Grrr

seamermaid Mon 16-Dec-13 16:14:14

Joy - I know in Chinese meds breast tenderness before ovulation is a sign of liver stagnation - qi and blood which they believe to play a part in sub-fertility but only if it's v v painful. Do you also get clotty periods or PMT type symptoms? TBH I never had sore boobs before TTC. I told my old Chinese doc this and he said a lot of stagnation is emotional. Not sure if this is all bs but it made sense to me. Have you had your appointment at UCLH yet? I think it was around now?

Sweet - That sounds like a lot of snow. I have to admit I am not a big fan of snow. I am always cold, even in summer so I suffer winters a lot.

Euro - My fingers are positively knotted for you.

MrsD - I am sorry long term ttc and failed rounds are haunting you too. It's so so unfair.

Critters - I am so happy you are almost there. Did you get a decent agreement with your HR on maternity in the end?

AFM, I thought I was coping quite well with DR-ing but maybe I not. I stayed home to work today as have lost my voice (bad move - I need to be around people to pretend I am normal). MrS's position at work is looking v iffy again and I am half expecting he will be let go before Xmas [gulp]. He is looking at other options and I am trying to support him through it. I have been v tearful all day.. suddenly I feel v scared about everything - infertility, job security, finance to pay for ivf if our income reduces because of redundancy and bigger mortgage as we are in the process of buying a new place, feeling angry at my body for needing to spend money on something that feels like it has the chance of winning on the lottery. It feels like nothing is right and all v scary. I am not sure if it's just the drugs and the flu making it all seem worst but I can't stop crying. sad

eurochick Mon 16-Dec-13 17:02:45

joy I never had sore boobs pre ov before I did IVF, but I've had it a few cycles since. I recognise many of the symptoms sea lists too.

sea that all sounds hard, and the drugs won't be helping you emotionally. I also resent spending the money on this, although feel very fortunate that we were in a position to do so. I hope you start to feel better soon. x

Thanks for all the paw squeezes and good wishes. Mr euro and I have hardly talked about it. I think we are both terrified of looking to the future. Two of my friends are pg at the moment (one 4 months-ish and the other around 6 weeks) so if it all works out for all three of us, it will be a lovely 2014. If it doesn't it will make it all the harder.

sweetgrouch Mon 16-Dec-13 17:29:15

Sea - Huge hugs! I am sure the drugs aren't helping. I am so sorry you are having such a rough day.

Joy - I am not sure what the sore breasts could mean.

Yes, snow - it's about time! Winter was a bit late this year. I am in Canada.

Cosmonaut1 Mon 16-Dec-13 19:29:28

Euro I have everything crossed for you that this turns out to be the one and hope you get through the next few days ok. Has to be good news that you consistently get to implantation.

Sea that sounds difficult and dr is really tough going on emotions - keep going and once you're stimming you'll hopefully start to feel better.

Joy sorry for the sore boobs - when did you last get this?

Sweet am very jealous of both the snow and Canada.

Critter you're so reassuring its so nice you still pop in.

Le Pout, how's things, any news on the referral?

Muddy what news on your front?

Waves all.

CocoAndNuts Mon 16-Dec-13 19:32:43

Oh sea big hug. Sorry you are feeling so shitty. Finance worries are crap at the best of times but when it's wrapped up with ttc it's another straw on the breaking camel's back. I wish I could magic up ironidiffs for us all.

joy I've been googling prog and estrogen (lol spell corrected to waterhen hmm ) and Dr Google says:
Boob sawness just before ov and just before AF is high estrogen. Normally focused around the nipples. Something to do with fluid filling the tubes round there.
Boob sawness ramping up between ov and AF, then stopping just before AF is high prog. Normally focused round the side of the boob and something to do with enlarging glands (I think it was).

euro oh to be an instadiffa. I'm angry that this innocent joy has been taken from all of us. My fingers are tightly crossed for you. Its like the tww turns in to a fourteen week window

I was never under any illusion that it was going to be quick for me and getting a BFP after a year felt about right. But I'm now so scared about another mc I feel oddly relieved when each AF arrives. It just not fair that such a lovely bunch of people have to deal with the wait and worry.

afm. I caved and tested on Sun. Bfn. Now 15dpo and no AF yet. I'm not in too bad a place considering the non-ttc crap that's going on. I tried suggesting to MrC that we take a ttc break over Christmas so that I can get shit faced and eat as much chocolate and potatoes as I like enjoy myself, but he is keen to continue. Which I suppose is a good thing.
Finances and job uncertainty mean IVF really is out of the question for now. It makes for some very boring ttc updates from me but for the moment I can say I have thoroughly enjoyed not having sex for the last two weeks after our shag-a-thon last month.

Luff and hugs to you all.

joycep Mon 16-Dec-13 19:45:16

Oh sea everything always comes at once. I think it sounds like the drugs and illness are not helping matters. It just compounds issues and makes it very hard to deal with things. Once you start stimming you won't feel like this. I hope your fears for your hubby's job don't come to fruition. Really interesting about the stagnation. I wish I was having acu every week actually but the prices here are unaffordable. I use to have very clotty periods after my first m/c and acu got rid of that. Sore breasts only started when TTC too. It's so bizarre.

Euro - it's hard especially when friends are expecting and I hope all will be well. I understand not wanting to look into future or not wanting to think of due dates just in case. I discuss baby names with Roy now just in case I do ever get pregnant again because I sure wont be discussing names when pregnant! Weird psychology.

I have my nhs appointment tomorrow.

joycep Mon 16-Dec-13 19:54:27

Coco - estrogen dominance also sounds about right. I think I will have to hit the progesterone cream again to balance my hormones. I am so bored of all this. Do you normally get to 15dpo? It's not nice how a m/c can put you off wanting to get pregnant again. I hope something is going on with you.

Buzzybee123 Mon 16-Dec-13 20:01:29

euro big paw squeeze for you

sea it never rains but bloody pours, I do think the drugs and illness just compound your worries, I hope things work out for Mr S at work, redundancy is shite, Barry has been 4 years on contract work now hmm

coco sorry about the BFN this month,

joy I hope tomorrows appointment will be helpful so you can make plans for your next round, its not weird psychology, its just a ay of protecting yourself, when you've had a shit journey so far you worry about things going wrong, its only natural

cos how are you my lovely

sweet only slightly envy of your snow smile

CocoAndNuts Mon 16-Dec-13 21:32:26

joy 15dpo is the longest AFhas taken so will be officially late tomorrow.
I tested with a divi but I'm NOT caving again till next weekend.
I've had too many coffees this month, it's probably thrown things out of whack again

CocoAndNuts Mon 16-Dec-13 21:32:46

divi? digi

eurochick Tue 17-Dec-13 11:18:24

Morning ladies.

I'm menkulling here. No insomnia last night (for the first time since the trigger) and I feel fine today (I have been feeling "off" for the past few days). If someone could just knock me out and wake me up when it is all over one way or the other, I'd be very grateful.

eurochick Tue 17-Dec-13 11:19:32

coco we can menkul together...

Good luck for the appointment today joy.

seamermaid Tue 17-Dec-13 11:55:15

Euro - What a headf**k! So sorry you are going through this. I bet you can't wait to do the blood test now. It won't be long. I suggest doing lots of things and keeping busy to avoid thinking about it. Big handhold. You are of course right... I am v grateful we are in the position to pay for ivf. I just feel guilty about spending money like this... confused

Joy - I hope the appointment goes well. Would you consider taking Chinese herbs rather than acu. The powder that you mix with hot water actually isn't too bad. My previously clotty period was got rid off via herbs when I was seeing my practitioner once a month rather than weekly... it was v effectively and much more affordable.

Coco - I am sorry it was not good news. sad and even more sorry to hear that redundancy fears are also alive in your household. I say take a break and drink and eat what you want over xmas... you can still ttc... a blow out now and again won't hurt.

Ladies thanks for your understanding about my slight meltdown yesterday. I am a bit embarrassed about being such a drama llama! Worries are real but I def think the drugs and flu made it much worse. I am a natural worrier but usually can keep it under control. Feeling slightly better today. AF has arrived so it's all starting now. Just made it in time for immunes as well. Waves to Buzz, Cos, Sweet, Lemons & Fox!

joycep Tue 17-Dec-13 12:11:53

Oh Euro - have you tested again? There is just no two ways about it, it's shit. When is your blood test?

Coco - I really hope too many coffees has done the trick. Crossing fingers.

Just had my appointment. They could tell from my notes I should have been referred to ivf. Useless GP. So now another 3 month wait for the next ivf appt. and then perhaps another 6 months after that. But if my amh is rock bottom which I presume it is by now, they may rush me through. The guy was nice actually and went through ivf history and he said the lack of blasts and zero frosties after 28 eggs doesn't sound good. Plus not good that no pregnancy develops. So They will treat me as a recurrent miscarriage patient during ivf and I will be put on a lot of drugs. But by what he said, it will be half the amount of what I was on. No evidence for Nk cells and he said he had researched it.
And then at the end he said, I may not actually be eligible for nhs ivf as I have been private twice and things have changed. So I am now waiting for a call to find out.
I must say I feel unbelievably miserable about it all at the moment. Been trying not to cry. My boob pain is agony which is a peri-menopause symptom when pre-ovulation (thanks google) and I just feel we are in a hopeless situation really and there is nothing that we can do but wait for a mircacle. Sorry no Xmas spirit here.

eurochick Tue 17-Dec-13 12:18:46

Oh joy. I could kick your useless GP. How annoying to have to wait again. I hope that you are still eligible and that they rush you through.

sea you weren't being a drama llama at all! I'm glad you are feeling a bit better now anyway, and it's good that AF arrived in time for your immune tests.

I did test again (I was planning to do every other day but caved as a result of the lack of symptoms) and got a similar line to yesterday. <drums fingers and waits for blood test impatiently>

joycep Tue 17-Dec-13 12:19:02

Sea - you are NOT a drama llama. And thank god for AF. So finally you are off. It has been a long time coming and we will be right behind you.
I did take some Chinese herbs before- nature's forest or something. I am intrigued by them and may think about them next year. Are they costly?

Cosmonaut1 Tue 17-Dec-13 12:25:40

Oh Joy I'm so sorry I was so hoping it wouldn't be one of those useless appointments. Remember he is just 1 person. You have bundles of eggs so can't possibly be peri menopausal. You were an instadiffer but unfortunately something happened which is maybe getting in the way now. You can get and have been pregnant so there's no reason it cant happen when all the conditions are right. Oh it's so so hard and you've been through so much, you deserve a little cry. Why not do the Warwick implantation clinic while you wait, it'dits £350 and might give you some new information? Massive hugs.

Euro massive squeeze to you too. I really think symptoms are unreliable the only thing is to test but I so understand it'd impossible to ignore your body. Hang in there lovely.

Sea so glad the fog has lifted a bit, af does that for me too usually. Keep going one day at a time.

Oh come on fertility gods and give us all a break!

freedom2011 Tue 17-Dec-13 15:37:17

euro Fingers crossed for you. I also have no symptoms. I am swinging between despair, fear, hope and being resigned to failure. I'm leaking from the sodding progesterone tablets and muttering 'please don't let it be blood' whenever I go to the loo. 22 days (latest) until I find out if there's anything developing in there. Hope the blood tests are fine on Thursday.

sea sorry it is so tough at the moment. Hope things improve very soon.

I'm away for holidays so limited private internet access.Tthinking of you all though.

Mrsden Tue 17-Dec-13 18:35:25

joy I wish I could say something to take the pain and misery away. There is no magic answer, but I wish that the consultant could have given you one. I don't think you should be too bothered about the lower drugs dose for immunes, there is nothing to say that more is better and we know that your last clinic like to go further than everyone else, I'm not convinced that there are good clinical reasons for this though. I know their stats are good, but I bet they're pretty flakey if you dig into them. My Dr also doesn't think much of the nk theory, I asked about it in passing once and he sort of rolled his eyes and said that he'd love to see some sound data on it. We're all searching for an answer, I wish the medical establishment could get their act in gear to provide us with one.

euro I don't think you can read much into symptoms at this stage, most women would have no idea that they're pregnant this early on. Good luck for the hcg test.

On the sore boobs front joy, I've never had sore ones before ovulation. Mine are sore now but I'm about 7 dpo. They didn't really hurt on the ivf cycle when I had loads of progesterone though so I really don't know what it's a sign of.

I join you in the no xmas spirit. I finish work on Thurs though so that's something to be happy about. And I ate my first mince pie yesterday that I managed to source in the English food shop, it was yummy.

seamermaid Tue 17-Dec-13 18:51:21

Joy oh... I am v annoyed on your behalf that you GP didn't refer you properly. How frustrating. As for qualifying for nhs round... that's just rubbish. I wonder... didn't you move recently? Maybe the PCT (or whatever they have been replaced by) in your new area has different rules. Would that be worth looking into? As for amh/egg quality/numbers it really can vary so much depending on the cycle. One of my bestie is having her 2nd round of ivf right now, on her last round none of her embies made it to transfer. She was devastated. She had fairly low AMH and is much older than you. This time round she was put on a different protocol, got 4 embies and 3 were top grade. I guess what I am trying to say is please don't give up hope yet because a different approach can well produce a different outcome. I really think you can still do it. A big handhold to you.

As for Chinese meds, you need to find a practitioner who does TCM but also trained in herbs. It's better to go for the loose power rather than the pills (patent herbs) as the former is tailored to you. Different practitioners charge different things but I think it's between £30 - 40 a month on herbs and if you go for a herbal only consultation it's usually cheaper than acu.

Euro oh euro... I haven't given up hope for you. Still thinking sticky sticky bean thoughts for you. It must be awful waiting. A line is a line is a line. Hang in there Euro-bean!

CocoAndNuts Tue 17-Dec-13 19:28:44

joy I'm so sorry that you find yourself in such a crappy situation. What a nightmare sad Fingers firmly crossed that they come back with positive news on the NHS front. It's good that you'll at least get a similar amount of drugs and not less!. It's crazy that it takes so long. Like someone said before, it feels like they make the process drawn out in the hope that people will get preg by themselves. I hope they feel guilty about the GP's balls up and push you up the list.

euro we can be menkul buddies. Sorry about the disappearing insomnia. I'm trying, and failing, to think of distraction techniques. Hang in there little bean.

sea you are not a drama llama (despite how cool the phrase drama llama is) It's great that you are ready to get going now.

Afm 16dpo and officially late. I've got backache but not sure if that's from lifting those heavy boxes on Monday. Nerves of steel I have, I know this is nothing, I just have to remind my inner-self that. I'm trying to think of it as a win win situation, one result win! the other result, I get to enjoy Christmas in all it's excessive glory.

eurochick Tue 17-Dec-13 19:38:44

free the progesterone is vile isn't it? Ive ruined so much underwear this year by it finding away around sanpro.

coco will you test?

Thanks for all the reassuring and kind thoughts. I hate this waiting!

CocoAndNuts Tue 17-Dec-13 21:46:22

Eek progesterone sounds scary.
euro no testing till next weekend. I'm working 12hrs days so getting out to buying another will be tricky but I'm grateful for the enforced money saving.

eurochick Tue 17-Dec-13 22:30:58

Not scary, just icky. Surely someone could have put it in pill form by now?

I could post you an internet cheapie? <fuels the menkul>

CocoAndNuts Wed 18-Dec-13 05:51:48

So it's either as a cream, injection or a fanjo bullet?

lol at posting the cheapie, I'm too far gone with the menkalling now and reached the point of crushing weepy disappointment. My belly is like a furnace, which is new, maybe it's menopausal.

How are you feeling today? When is OTD?

joy hope today brings you good news on the NHS round

mrs sorry you're not feeling the Xmas spirit but hopefully a decent mincepie will have gone some way to fixing that. I'd love to have some snow like sweet Very jealous!

sarlat Wed 18-Dec-13 07:38:30

Joy - just wanted to say im sorry about the dragged out nhs referral. im sure you feel simply drained and fed up. This is such a tiring journey and I am sorry that things continue to drag on. I have to say that I agree with cos that multiple egg production does not indicate peri menopause - its too much of a contradiction. And one opinion of one dr - well we all know that off the cuff comments should never be taken as gospel truth in this game. Remember the facts, you can get pregnant and can get to a fairly established stage of pregnancy. It's just bad luck that last time their was an unfortunate genetic issue which could happen to any one in a random way. Joy if you can muster the energy keep searching for the answer, certainly dont ever feel it is an impossibility. Dont worry about Christmas cheer, take the opportunity to rest and eat nice things and to hell with everything else.

Am thinking of the early pregnancy ladies and continue to send positive and squeezy hand holdy vibes.

Someone asked recently if I had been getting any braxton hicks. To be honest i started getting them at around 17 weeks but they have become slightly more frequent and tight recently. I have very very subtle pre labour signs which means very little in how close I am to birth. Tomorrow is my due date.

I am thinking of everyone here and apologise for not being up to date with everyone's current situation. I know how hard and soul destroying this process is. What I do think is that this part is hidious but worthwhile and often necessary as mostly people will reach their goal. But if the goal/journey changes at a later stage then that was meant to be and wont feel like a burden. So don't worry about the future. Whilst ever there is the need and the urge to ttc then that is the right thing to do. Hope that makes sense. I guess what im trying to say is you are all wonderful and strong and without doubt doing the right thing. Keep going lovely ladies.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 18-Dec-13 09:07:44

Morning lovelies!

Still holding any spare parts of your body tightly squeezed until the bloods euro. Menkulling over symptoms is understandable but pointless. My main symptom at your stage, if I recall correctly, was the absence of AF, followed by exhaustion, peeing lots (and bleeding) from week 5.5. My sister drove me mad by inquiring after my sickness, which has never materialised. So, there is very little you can make of it at this point. Sit tight and I am willing your embie on, and hoping for a nice level of hcg tomorrow. Holding out a hand for menkulling free as well!

How are you doing cos? I am thinking of you, 2013 has been a particularly shitty year for you, even if there are some hints that some things might be solved.

How are foxy and nelly? Thinking of you when talking about shitfest years.

Poutster are you still with us? How is the house? Decked out in crafty prettyness? Are you still happy?

Sorry you've been feeling so rough, and worried about money, mrS job as well as waiting for AF, sea. Thankfully, it's here always a little late when DRing, I gathered when I did it. Are you starting stimming now? I am keeping everything crossed for a good successful round.

Sorry, you had such a shitty-GP referral and subsequent appointment joy. I agree with the others that you don't sound perimenopausal at all with That Number of Eggs. Although I do wonder whether their quality would have been better had you had a few less of them... I'm keeping everything crossed you are entitled to another round and will be able to do it soon-ish in the new year.

Sorry about the lack of festive cheer mrsd. I still have not had any Christmas sweets, we have no tree etc, but that is because I am too knackered. I was going to work until Christmas to maximise leave next year, but I decided that I need a break. When are you off home? I am jealous of snow too!

I think sar as always writes wise words about the journey. Too much panic about the future is never helpful, but so difficult to stop. SB and I have done well in doing fun things, amazing travel etc these three years. But I still resent the time in limbo and the fact that long-term TTC does have an impact on how you experience pregnancy, still worried, even though normals wouldn't be. So although it's worth it, the time, the money, the heart ache, it still feels desperately unfair we have to go through this to try to get what comes easily to others. I do think all the ladies on this thread deserved their babies years ago, and most will get there. But other futures are as valid and as good, once you're ready for them. We've been chatting about still fostering and/or adopting once the little person is with us. We got very interested and excited about that last summer (when struggling through IVF1)... Anyway, I am waffling from the lucky perspective, so I'll be quiet. I know how hard it is and am thinking of you all over this festive difficult period.

Cosmonaut1 Wed 18-Dec-13 09:34:09

Euro, Free and Coco hope you're all coping with the menkulling ok. Euro good luck for the blood test tomorrow, fingers crossed for a good strong hcg. Have you tested again today or have you managed to hold out for tomorrow?

Lemons and Sar nice to see you as always.

i'm just.....uuuuuurrrrrggggghhhh. If that makes sense? Having a jogging bottoms and hot water bottle day whilst working from home so I'm around for chatting (--or moaning--) today. Is this year over yet?

Joy i did read yesterday on t'internet (--really should stop doing that--) about baby aspirin and that it can help increase blood flow and have a positive effect on eggs and lining and stuff. I had forgotten the reason for people taking aspirin i thought it was about anti-clotting. How are you today after your appointment?

how's everyone else?

Cosmonaut1 Wed 18-Dec-13 09:34:42

oh dear, strike through fails

Mrsden Wed 18-Dec-13 09:53:56

I've been thinking about you cos, did af turn up? A jogging bottoms day is a good plan, I'm counting down the hours left at work.

Nice to hear from you lemons and sar. What you say makes total sense but I'm not at the point where I can see any of this stuff as positive or an alternative life without children as something I want. I'm not sure I'll ever be totally ok with it, but I'll come to accept it. I remember reading a very honest account of someone who was unable to have children, she was in her eighties when writing and said it was a sadness that had lessened but had never gone away. I wish I could remember where I'd read it.

Coco, the progesterone was the worst part of Ivf for me drugs wise because I hated having to insert them because I felt like Id been messed about enough with down there. High doses of progesterone leave me anxious too.

Is there any news from gin?

Cosmonaut1 Wed 18-Dec-13 10:04:37

Hi Mrsd, how are you doing? the christmassy things you've been doing (pictures on the other place) look so idyllic. When you say you don't think you've ever got to implantation stage, a lot of people don't feel a thing do they, i hope you're close and you just need that right embie / conditions. It must be a bit frustrating not being able to see how they develop. I'm quite surprised by the laws there, given they're a bit lax on other things (ok so i'm specifically thinking about what a friend told me about legalised brothels, i'm not that sure about other things over there!). Have you had a review yet? what's the next plan, fet? Will you do a natural or medicated round?

Yes af turned up with a vengeance have actually had the most pains and heavy bleeding i can remember (seemed worse than mc even). And yes the progesterone, completely agree its made me feel quite anxious and a bit odd (moody) which i wasn't expecting.

eurochick Wed 18-Dec-13 10:40:02

coco I've only ever heard of the injections and/or fanny bullets used with IVF. I don't think the cream is strong enough. I think joy tried it alongside natural cycles though, and felt that it helped to regulate things.

cos a jogging bottoms day sounds brilliant. Sorry about the vile period.

I did test again this morning (internet cheapies just sitting there make it so tempting...) and the line is fainter than yesterday, so I fear this might not be a sticky one. We will see what the blood test brings tomorrow. The insomnia was back last night, but the other symptoms have definitely faded since the weekend, when I definitely felt "different".

mrsd I occasionally lurk on the IVF worriers/warriors thread and I would suggest you take a look (if you can bear to).... fwink

sar due date tomorrow - hurrah! Do you feel ready? Do you just want sarlatte out now?

eurochick Wed 18-Dec-13 10:51:03

Bugger - first tiny bit of spotting. <sigh>

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 18-Dec-13 11:15:28

So sorry euro.

Mrsd I cannot see any of it as positive and I resent the time and energy wasted on it all. So don't get me wrong. I mainly see it as bloody unfair. And I am convinced we'll all get to the other side one way or another. I think infertility sadness does stay with you, but perhaps at some point it will stop tainting bloody everything.

Cosmonaut1 Wed 18-Dec-13 11:33:19

Oh no euro, surely not again, keep going euro bean. Are you ok?

CocoAndNuts Wed 18-Dec-13 11:43:37

Oh euro no.. sad

Tenmonthsandcounting Wed 18-Dec-13 11:50:31

Euro really hoping that tomorrows test is a good out come for you and that this might be just normal spotting. I hope you are ok, this is truly shit.

I have no symptoms and an arctic stick this morning When I cracked and tested, OTD isn't until Friday but this doesn't feel hopeful for me. Nothing made the freezer so I am a bit sad, but trying to distract myself with Christmas shopping and the dog who as a consequence is getting walked a LOT. Doesn't help that I heard some of my friends having a conversation about how they thought I was pregnant at the weekend as I wasn't drinking, sigh.

Sorry for entirely selfish post and crap catch up I am in a bit of a hole, I hope this is hormone induced I don't want to actually feel like this for an extended period of time, urgh.

eurochick Wed 18-Dec-13 11:57:03

Oh no, ten. I'm sorry.

cos I'm doing ok. I kind of expected it after what was said about our embies on transfer day and what happened before.

I think tomorrow's test will still be positive, so I'm going to see if they will do another one for me on Saturday so I can see if the levels are going up or down.

Cosmonaut1 Wed 18-Dec-13 12:31:32

That sounds like a good plan euro, glad you're doing ok.

Poutintrout Wed 18-Dec-13 12:32:15

euro I don't know what to say other than I hope that the bean is sticky and this is a bit of bedding in spotting. You will definitely be on my mind today.

ten I'm sorry about the arctic stick. That is shite and so sad. That said, OTD is still a good few days off and I hope that maybe testing today was still too early for you smile

joy I am cross on your behalf that you are in limbo about the funding. Just what you didn't need to hear. I so hope that you will get a funded round. What a shitty run up to Christmas having this hanging over your head sad

coco FX tightly crossed for you my dear!

cos I've been thinking of you loads. I hope that your cramps pass soon. Have you tried soluble Solpadeine?

sea I was sorry to read that you are feeling low and having non TTC worries too. Hopefully once you start with the stimming you will feel a bit hormonally happier!

sarlat Squeeeeeeee at you having a baybeee before Christmas grin

lemons What a nice post from you smile Sorry that you are so tired. Sending you some festive va va voom!

mrsd I would like to read the article you mention. I must admit that is something I think about lots, how will I feel in my old age about being childless. I fear the future a lot but then tell myself that one in three people get cancer so I may well not make it to old age anyway, happy soul that I am!

Sorry for rubbish catch up. I've had some kind of upset stomach virus and still don't feel 100%. I also managed to practically hack off my finger with a tin can so am feeling very sorry for myself and worried that I won't be able to finish making my Christmas pressies I keep bleeding all over everything which won't be a good look for cushions! Love to all!

joycep Wed 18-Dec-13 13:38:10

Oh Euro ....I can only hope that you will get more positive news tomorrow. There are just no words that I can say to help really. It’s a bugger of a lonely journey, with much worrying, much confusion and much sadness. I hope we can help you through it.

And Ten...I hope very very much that this is just too early to test. It’s awful not having frosties as a back up and I totally sympathise. I hope Friday brings better news, I really do.

Sar – amazing that you are just about there. It’s going to be a wonderful xmas. Your post is lovely and I really hope you will continue to post after mini Sar arrives although I understand if you would just be glad never to hear or talk about fertility woes ever again!

Lemon – i think it’s wonderful that you are still thinking about adoption/fostering. Actually I said yesterday to this doctor that I think I should have had less eggs because I reckon the drugs compromised quality. He disagreed with me on that front. Funny because my clinic said the opposite. Sigh. No one knows.

Cos – i was on baby aspirin. I think they just put everyone on it at the Argy as a matter of cause. Since then I have read that it can have a detrimental effect on those people who don’t need to take it. Again, where does the truth lie? Looking forward to kissing the year goodbye as well...although I fear 2014 could be going from the frying pan in to the fire!

Coco – i wonder what is going on. I hope it’s good news. The progesterone cream I would say is not strong enough. Currently I’m using Kokuro, a natural progesterone cream and it’s a balancing cream to help stabalise the estrogen / progesterone levels. I started it too late this month but it should solve my sore boob problem. It wouldn’t be strong enough to use with ivf. The issue I have with the progesterone injections are that they are synthetic rather than natural like the pessaries. Not keen on the size of the needle either and they gave me very painful lumps . However, I felt very secure that it would hold my pregnancy if my natural levels started to drop.

Mrsd – I have read quite a few interviews with people who are much older and couldn’t have kids. There are a number of well known people out there like Angela Rippon, Delia Smith, Bonnie Tyler, Marian Keyes who have been interviewed about it and I find it interesting how they dealt with it. There was also Maeve Binchy and I think there was an article about how she dealt with it. The likes of Honor Blackman, Jane Torvill and Jilly Cooper went on to adopt and I read an article this year that said that people who adopted because of infertility were much more likely to be happier than those who didn’t adopt. But of course it’s not for everyone. But you don’t tend to hear about well known Brits of our generation adopting these days, perhaps because IVF helps many people out. Adoption seems to be a rare thing here whereas in America it seems a very normal and natural thing to do.

Pout – you sound as chirpy as me. In fact, i think the run up to xmas is having a bleugh affect on many of us here. I often say to myself that one day i’ll be dead so why do i get myself in to such a frenzy over this one thing. You really can’t get more chirpy than that!

Sorry for being such a misery guts yesterday. I had got myself in to a panic a day earlier because of the sore boobs thing and then Yesterday I just felt despair and anxiety especially after hearing about the long wait for ivf . And I still don’t know whether I’m going to get a nhs round anyway. I hope the doctor fights my cause. What I forgot to mention also was that my friend’s husband works in fertility there. One of the first things I saw was the rota and I saw his name on there – thankfully he wasn’t in yesterday. There is no doubt about it that I’m going to bump in to him as he is heavily involved in fertility and ivf. I would never ever want him to see me naked. I would be mortified and I wouldn’t put it past him to have a peak when I’m sedated. He is very good looking, younger than me and I have had many a drunken wedding with him and cannot get my head around the fact he is a gynae and allowed to look at women’s privates. I only see him when he is behaving like an immature bloke.. I cannot tell you how mortified I will be when I bump in to him. They don’t know about our problems. I’m wondering whether to email his wife or him just to warn him.

Cosmonaut1 Wed 18-Dec-13 13:59:13

oh no i'm turning into a bitter old hag. there's a new thread about folic acid and the person said they can never remember to take vitamins. nearly posted that i wouldn't bother with ivf then. eek

eurochick Wed 18-Dec-13 14:09:26

joy if you tell the clinic, surely they can make sure that you are kept away from him? I find it bad enough my husband seeing me in those positions. Someone I know socially would be completely mortifying.

That's interesting that there are so many celebreties who couldn't have children. I'd never really thought about it. I can only think of one example in real life (mr euro's aunt and uncle - apparently she had several mcs). Everyone else I know managed it.

I do find my thoughts turning increasingly towards adoption, but I am very turned off by the idea of having social workers poking their noses into our life. And I think that many of the children put up for adoption here are challenging - disabilities, foetal alcohol syndrome, etc. It would take a very special person to parent them and I am not sure I am that person. Obviously there is always a risk that a biological child would have problems, but I somehow feel this would be easier as it is a fait accompli. Actively choosing life e.g. as a carer to a disabled child, is a different matter. I wish I was able to say that I know I could do it, but I'm not.

poutster! it's lovely to hear from you. Sorry you have been poorly.

cos I know, I know.

Cosmonaut1 Wed 18-Dec-13 14:58:28

This is my favourite lady without children - i love her - but think it was a choice thing according to the fail rather than not being able to

Joy you're not a misery guts at all, and how unbelievably awkward. I agree with euro could you ask the clinic to make sure you're kept away from him?

Poutintrout Wed 18-Dec-13 15:17:12

joy Oh cripes at your friend's husband working at the hospital. What a nightmare. I must admit to feeling a bit hmm when you mentioned that he is really "laddish" outside of work & you would worry about him having a peek at your bits. I guess I always kind of assumed that male gynaes really don't care about vaginas and don't see them in a sexual way. That said when we had the last ET MrP was a bit perplexed at the lab technician man standing at the glory hole end.

I had no idea so many of the ladies you mention had infertility issues. Delia Smith surprised me. I guess I just imagined that because she is the original domestic goddess that of course she would have a gaggle of kids and grandchildren round her dinner table eating her lovely food. Just goes to show.

I feel exactly the same as you euro about adoption. It isn't for me (I wish it was but the thought leaves me cold). I hate the notion that infertile couples automatically adopt. In my mind my infertility does not qualify me to be a good potential adoptive parent at all.

cos grin at your impulses! I still regularly take my folic acid and often wonder how much longer will I bother with it I admit to getting the odd urge to drop kick it up the garden

joycep Wed 18-Dec-13 15:55:09

I lied to the doc yesterday when he asked whether I was taking the folic. blush I've been off it for 3 months. I must start again actually.

Pout - medics in their 20s and often 30s tend to be quite loutish . Or perhaps that is just my BiL and his friends.. This guy is nice and good fun but he's a proper lad and a ladies man. He tries every drug out there and gets properly wasted and before I had fertility problems, my friends would discuss how weird it was that he is a lady doc.
Yes Delia couldn't have kids and I'm sure I read an interview with her ages ago and I thought she sounded quite bitter about it. I don't want to be like that but I fear I would be.

Euro - totally agree, I would never have Roy standing at the wrong end and in fact would never have him in ET . No way.
I wouldn't be cut out for taking on children with problems. I like the idea of giving a child that was in care because of poverty a home but I would have to go abroad. I also hate the idea of social workers coming around and judging and telling Roy that because he has had one ciggy in the last year that we are not suitable.

Cos - yes she never wanted them and I believe she doesn't like kids either. If I ever scan down the MN threads I roll my eyes a lot. I am particularly averse to the people who say how depressed they are that after 3 months they still haven't conceived and can't understand it because their first child was conceived immediately. Go away!! [seriously need to move myself on to the infertility boards]

Mrsden Wed 18-Dec-13 16:08:45

It's interesting to see the list of women joy. I never knew Delia didn't have kids either, I always assumed she had boys. I can add a man to that list, Eric Pickles! Now, I loathe the man but I heard him on desert island discs say that it was a sadness that him and his wife could never have children and I warmed to him (from -40 degrees to -35)

Joy, I would tell the hospital that you know him and do not want t be treated by him. Even if he were to mention anything to you outside of the clinic the he'd get in trouble, I'm sure he cares about his job too much to say anything to you or anyone else.

Mrsden Wed 18-Dec-13 16:10:05

Spotting is not always a bad sign euro. I'm keeping everything tightly crossed for you.

Poutintrout Wed 18-Dec-13 17:11:01

Just realised that it might have seemed joy like I didn't believe you about the doc being a laddish twat. Not the case, just a horrible realisation that everything I have told myself by way of reassurance about being knickerless & legs akimbo was possibly bollocks!
Interesting that Delia comes across as bitter. I definitely think I will always be bitter about all this. Even though I am in a much better place emotionally and feel like I have one foot on the path to acceptance the bitterness is always bubbling away. I got all morose watching Hebburn last night FGS!

MrsD grin at you warming to Eric Pickles. everybody...Mrsd and MrPickles sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-S-I-N-G

foxinorangesocks Wed 18-Dec-13 20:19:20

I'm creeping in with my foxy socks. At the end of this week I will have worked 70 hours and I'm on my knees. I had a long read in between teaching tonight. Euro my heart goes out to you. I'm very much hoping this is early days and that all comes gods for you. There is so much I want to say to ten plussers one and all but I'm exhausted and have brain mush. So to everyone I send a big squeeze, to those who are waiting in all the different stages, for those with babies baking and about to be cooked (not sure that works!) and those truly on the other side. When I emerge from this godawful end of forever term I will be more chatty.

On a Me Me note, my cycle is ridiculous! I've had so much ewcm I've had to wear sanitary towels, mid cycle spotting followed by a gallon more ewcm and mega boobs. It's like a fireworks of hormones in there. And I'm not remotely bothered by it all.

foxinorangesocks Wed 18-Dec-13 20:21:13

Oh and joy - no no no to him looking at your ladyparts! I'm sorry the nhs apt was poop. Hopefully funding will be ok.

eurochick Wed 18-Dec-13 20:40:15

Blimey foxy, your hormones do seem to be having a party in there!

Buzzybee123 Wed 18-Dec-13 22:34:17

joy It would unprofessional and inappropriate for him to be involved, when the time gets near let them know, one of my colleagues brothers became a patient in our team, those that were friends with her could not be involved.

foxy thats a bloody long week, sorry your cycle is up the swanny

euro i'm hoping for good news for you tomorrow

coco I admire your steely nerves not to test

pout sorry about the bug, hope you feel better soon

sar will be looking out for your news

seamermaid Wed 18-Dec-13 22:34:37

Euro - so sorry to hear about fainter line and spotting. I am hoping the latter is Eurobean bedding in tighter. I bet tomorrow's test can't come soon enough. Keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you.

Pout - I agree with adoption. I have always been interested in adopting but not as an alternative to having my own. Every person who I have ever mentioned ivf to has said to me "why don't you just adopt". I might well do this anyway but not as a replacement... something about that question really bothers me.

Joy - You are NOT misery guts at all. shock at your friend's husband working at the hospital. I can see why the thought of him looking up your fanjo is not at all appealing. I have a horrible feeling he has done dildo cam on me. I remember a good looking and slightly cheeky doc doing my AFC there and I came away feeling a bit blush. When will you hear about funding? You must press them, they do need chasing.

Interesting chat about childless ladies. My fav is Lionel Shriver... she wrote an interesting book a few years ago and a number of interviews followed about why she decided not to have children (by choice). I found her reasons compelling and what she chose to do instead really interesting.

Hi Fox! Nice to see you again. Sorry about hormones!

AFM, still recovering from awful cough, got all my drugs and had my teach session today. All a bit overwhelming but not complaining as I am just glad to get going. Already had a big run-in with my clinic regarding hystero date. They had told me it always happens on day 5 or 6. Tomorrow is day 3 and they insisted on doing it when I had booked a really important meeting that CANNOT be cancelled (organised around the fact they told me day 5/6 would be "d" day). A lot of needless stressful phone calls all day with them. In the end I got one of the good nurses who said I could do it on Friday instead. [sigh].

seamermaid Wed 18-Dec-13 22:36:00

Ten - I am sorry you are not feeling positive about this one. I hope the test on Friday will prove your fears wrong. A big handhold.

Ginestas Thu 19-Dec-13 05:34:00

Apologies for a v selfish post, but wanted to let you know that baby gin was born on Monday! Pic (but not too many I promise) and name will go on FB shortly. Labour was pretty scary due to some issues with her heartbeat and a bit of an ordeal which I won't go into here, but all totally worth it. I so so hope that things work out for you lovely ladies. It is so totally worth the soul destroying shitfest of long term ttc and treatment cycles - I kept telling everyone I met in hospital that she's ivf, so extra precious.

Will catch up properly soon. Hope the above gives you all hope (read back to my dec misery last year, officially my worst year and Xmas ever!) and isn't too stingy. Big loves and I have everything crossed particularly for those of you testing or starting treatment x

seamermaid Thu 19-Dec-13 07:59:48

Congrats Gin. You are well and truly on the other side. So happy for you, MrG and baby G. Enjoy the Xmas with your new family.

Good luck Euro for today.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 19-Dec-13 08:00:11

Massive congrats gin!!

Handhold for euro!

Loves to all of you, quick commute post!

foxinorangesocks Thu 19-Dec-13 08:39:59

Thinking of you euro.

foxinorangesocks Thu 19-Dec-13 08:39:59

Thinking of you euro.

Mrsden Thu 19-Dec-13 08:42:29

Massive congratulations gin! How wonderful your little girl is here, can't wait to see a photo.

Good luck today euro. I hope you don't have too long to wait for the results.

freedom2011 Thu 19-Dec-13 08:44:10

euro I'm thinking of you especially today.

freedom2011 Thu 19-Dec-13 08:47:21

gin a girl. How lovely. Thank you for sharing.

CocoAndNuts Thu 19-Dec-13 09:56:51

Just lost a long post that started typing on the way home yesterday angry

Congratulations gin !! It does give lots of hope that there is a worthwhile goal and there are ten plussers who have made it to the other side.

Big hand hold to you euro hope you get some good news today.

lemon sar always good to hear from two. I wish I could express me thoughts as eloquently.

pout sorry you've been feeling poorly. I'm very impressed by your cushion making, let alone doing it wounded (ouch)
grin at mrsd and pickles up the kissing tree.

joy hopefully your friends OH is professional and (like other nurses and policemen I know) just a party animal because he has to be so sensible the rest of the time. Definitely worth telling them though, so you're not worried about him sneaking a peak at your fun hole.

Hugs to a sleepy fox in your socks, with your firework hormones. Hope the week passes quickly for you.

Nothing to report from me yet...

Waves and luffs to all

Mrsden Thu 19-Dec-13 10:09:48

come on pout, you know the chubby cheeks make you go weak at the knees too grin

ten, I'm so sorry that you think it hasn't worked. Big hugs to you.

eurochick Thu 19-Dec-13 11:21:20

Congratulations gin! I'm so happy for you. grin I hope you and the baby are not too traumatised by the birthing experience. I'm looking forward to photos on t'other place.

ten I hope you are doing ok.

AFM, blood has been taken, so now I just have to wait (more waiting - argh) until they call with a result. The POAS test this morning was marginally darker than yesterday's but not as dark as Tuesday's confused. (Yes, I have a pish stick collection. Everybody needs a hobby.)

CocoAndNuts Thu 19-Dec-13 11:43:36

euro that sounds promising ! Hope it's just I nternet cheapies fecking with your head. thanks

seamermaid Thu 19-Dec-13 11:45:27

Big handhold for Euro... this waiting for the call must be awful.
I like the sound of a darker line though.
Will be checking back for your news.

Poutintrout Thu 19-Dec-13 11:59:27

gin Congratulations, a little girl is lovely. Thinks of all the dresses and little socks, bobbles, pink things...need to have a lie down in a dark room Sorry to hear that the birth was not as smooth as you deserved. How lovely that you are telling everyone in the hospital how precious little Gin is being IVF and all smile Will check out the piccies at the other place!

euro Am liking your hobby and imagining your "collection" pasted into a scrapbook. FX for the blood test.

sea Oh for goodness sake about all the carry on around your appointment but glad you got it sorted.
Glad that you are over your cough. I think there are some yukky bugs doing the rounds at the mo. I now have a scratchy throat and hope this isn't the prelude to a Christmas cold.

fox Hope that you are on the home stretch work wise.
EWCM of the volume you describe is a distant memory for me! Sounds grim.

coco Fun hole??!! grin

Waves to lemons Buzz mrsd and free

Tenmonthsandcounting Thu 19-Dec-13 12:07:26

Gin Congratulations that is simply fabulous news!!!

Euro I hope that the result is the one your after and that the bleed was just normal spotting after all. This sounds positive so far.

Joy ARGH – I could think of nothing worse than someone I know being in any way involved in my treatment, I am sure if you tell the clinic they can make suitable arrangements. Good luck with everything and I hope the wait isn’t too long….I struggle to see the popint in the folic I have been taking it for over two years and a fat lot of goo dit has done.

Pout I hear you on the bitterness, this is a new feeling for me and has only come about after this failed cycle (tbc tomorrow but another arctic stick today…) I am now royally pissed off.

Fox That sounds horrific, 70 hours is never a good week! Your hormones are certainly having a party! Well done for simply ignoring and carrying on!

Sea God it makes me cross that clinics expect your entire life to be rearranged around their schedule, good luck with everything I hope this is the cycle for you!

Waves to everyone I have missed. Still a big fat negative, hadn’t realised how much this was going to throw me. Just waiting for confirmation tomorrow before drowning my sorrows in a vat of gin. [drunk emoticon]

Buzzybee123 Thu 19-Dec-13 12:11:11

ten So sorry, big hugs

euro Fingers crossed for you

gin congrats again

seamermaid Thu 19-Dec-13 12:24:19

Ten I am ever so sorry about BFN. I hope there is chance that the bloods will tell a different story. Big handhold.

Pout I am still coughing away. I see people giving me the evil glare on the tube. I am v careful and live on handgels and always cough into tissues. This bug has been particularly bad and the cough just won't go away. I hope you don't get it.

Buzz - How are you doing? Are you still being monitored for immunes? How far along are you now?

eurochick Thu 19-Dec-13 12:45:08

ten I'm so sorry about the BFN.

sea I don't think I'd be able to resist remind them how much I was paying for the cycle and that maybe they could accommodate me. Grrrr.

That bug sounds pretty nasty. I hope it clears up soon.

sweetgrouch Thu 19-Dec-13 14:23:34

Gin - That is fantastic news! I couldn't be happier for you. I am so glad little gin arrived safe and sound.

Ten - So sorry about the bfn. Hand hold and hugs.

Joy - My experience with physicians in real life is often very different from how they behave professionally. Although, I would ask from him to not be involved in my care - it would be entirely inappropriate if he was. This is pretty standard now, seeing as there is now more than one Dr per community.

Sea - Your cold sounds terrible. I hope you start feeling better soon.

Fox - I am sending you courage and caffeine to help you get through your ridiculous end of term madness. I'm sorry your hormones have decided to go crazy at this time.

Coco - hahaha fun hole. That made me laugh pretty hard.

Euro - Big hand holds while you wait for the blood test results. I really hope the spotting was just the embryo nestling in nice and tight.

Lemon - I'm glad I'm not the only one who hasn't put a tree up yet. I will at some point if only because I am hosting Christmas. I hope you get to enjoy your holidays.

Sar - I asked about the braxton hicks. I was curious, mine only started sometime after 33 weeks. I have been having some pre-labour symptoms too, but as you said, it means nothing about when the baby will make an appearance. Happy due date smile and good luck - we know little sar will be born before Christmas.

Waves, tail feathers and overly sweet Christmas baking to everyone. Sorry if I missed someone in the catch up.

eurochick Thu 19-Dec-13 14:30:38

Lovely to see you sweet. smile

I've just had the call from the clinic. The blood test was (as I knew) positive. What did surprise me was the HCG number. It was 48 at this point in my last pregnancy. Today it was 107. I'm baffled because I've really felt over the past two days that all was not well. According to this paper, the higher number is predictive of a better outcome.

sarlat Thu 19-Dec-13 15:22:36

Sweet -exciting times ahead for you too my lovely. When is your due date?

Fox - sounds like post ivf cycle fertility boost craziness to me, put down those papers and get thee and monsieur fox in the sac pronto.

Ten - I am so sorry sweetheart. Its a weird stabby limbo feeling. Now is not the time for thinking and planning. Now is the time for gin, just being and doing fun things. In a couple of weeks things will feel different again.

Joy - I wouldn't want party boy coping a look at my nethers either.

Gin - already posted in the other thread but I am truly overjoyed to hear you have given birth to your beautiful baby.

Euro - I 'knew' your HCG numbers would be good. You are picking up where gin has left off........ i know its still too early for celebrations but for now things are going well. Hold on tight my lovely and dont worry about symptoms - I was at least 7 weeks pregnant with this pregnancy until symptoms kicked in.

Ginestas Thu 19-Dec-13 15:48:43

euro you are pregnant lady!! That's such fab fab news, I'm totally chuffed for you.

Buzzybee123 Thu 19-Dec-13 17:29:27

euro congrats on being preggo smile

sea Shehata does your immunes up to about week 16, I took it past that date on my own accord with the intralipids and hydroxy, I'm 34 weeks now, I have to admit I had a very romantic notion of pregnancy, sadly it is nothing like I thought it would be

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 19-Dec-13 18:06:48

Congrats on much better hcg numbers euro! How many days pist EC are you? Tis predictive indeed smile

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 19-Dec-13 18:08:16

Happy due date, sar!

Big sorry hug, ten sad

Too tired for proper catch up! Sorry!

Cosmonaut1 Thu 19-Dec-13 18:11:05

Wow euro, that's great news!! Some good pre-Xmas cheer, well done you, hope the next few weeks are as least nail biting as possible.

Gin, what lovely news, looking forward to seeing the pictures in the other place, glad you're both safe and sound.

Ten so sorry for the bfn, my Ivf bfns have been the worst they knock you for six, hope you can be very kind to yourself for the next few weeks.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 19-Dec-13 18:27:18

Gin, how could I forget? Massive congrats on ginsters arrival! smile

seamermaid Thu 19-Dec-13 18:39:36

Euro - What wonderful news. I know the next bit we will even worst if not as bad as TTC-ing but this is an amazing achievement. And the HCG numbers sound really reassuring. I bet this Xmas present beats a mini -ipad any day. I am really happy for you. You deserve it!
[jumps around for joy]

Ten - Thinking of you for tomorrow. Big handhold.

Buzzy - You are almost there. Has it been a v difficult pregnancy for you? Is it the worry or more physical stuff that is making it less than ideal? Sorry if I am asking v silly questions. I am just intrigued. I have a number of preggo friends at the moment and some are really loving it and one or two are sick throughout.

Luv to all.

Hystero for me in the morning. Slightly excited as I love the feel of coming round from anesthetics even if it does make me a bit sick. A complete state of relaxation... I am see it as getting a few hours of much needed deep sleep.

CocoAndNuts Thu 19-Dec-13 19:20:53

euro that's great news! smile Are you going to go back again soon for a second reading?

sar good luck!

sweet good luck too. When are you due?

I'm not sure what to do. I have another digi taunting me in the drawer but don't know if I should get a cheapie. I hate wasting money but I'm 18dpo (3/4 days late) and that should show on a digi shouldn't it? But if the hcg levels drop I won't be able to tell. We're heading up to the inlaws on Sunday for a week and I need to know before I go. But if it says no I don't know if I'll believe it. If it says yes then I'll want to check again during the Christmas week to see if it's sticking urg. Why did I buy stupid digis in the first place! confused
What if this is just another screwed up cycle and the + opk was PCOS messing with the test or something... I'm going nuts.

sweetgrouch Thu 19-Dec-13 19:21:01

Euro - So happy to hear about the HCG levels. If it helps, I didn't have any real preggo symptoms until I started feeling the baby moving.

Sea - Glad to hear you are looking forward to the hystero.

Sar - I am due Jan 1st. I am already a bit dilated, but that really means nothing.

CocoAndNuts Thu 19-Dec-13 19:24:30

That was a me me post ... sorry. Didn't mean to come out like that.

freedom2011 Thu 19-Dec-13 19:53:31

euro good. Thanks for confirming you took another step forward. Take it easy. Perhaps plan things to distract yourself everyday because I can confirm the days are really dragging.

Today I had a lovely time with a neighbours kid who is three having a chat about nursery and the Christmas tree and singing ring a ring a roses and reading some stories. Got quite into the ring a roses until I remembered I should not be jumping about.

CocoAndNuts Thu 19-Dec-13 20:23:55

"Didn't mean to come out" dear me. This is why I shouldn't type on the train. What I mean to say is, I'll buy a test and be quiet.

buzzy nearly there too. It's a ten plussers graduation bonanza.

sweet the new year is just a sneeze away. I hope these last few days pass quickly for you.

ten sorry about the bfn. The very best of luck for tomorrow.

Buzzybee123 Thu 19-Dec-13 20:32:45

sea most people I know seem to have enjoyed their pregnancies, perhaps I had unrealistic expectations hmm it has been stressful especially in the beginning, a few bleeds, being on all the immune drugs and the preggo symptoms were hard to deal with, the constant worry it would all go wrong again, knowing we had only one frostie and couldn't afford another IVF round,, I've been ill all the way through, had a bad reaction to the nausea meds and now have what I think could be SPD, have stolen some crutches from work today. Its been nearly 3 years since we started this journey.

I think if you're an instaffer and it works first time you don't worry about what could go wrong, why would you, but when it has its all you can focus on, and everyday you wonder what will happen, the constant checking everytime you go to the toilet, wondering if your symptoms are the same, do your boobs feel the same.

I am extremely grateful to be pregnant I was just hoping after a shitty TTC journey that it would be a lovely memorable pregnancy

I hope all goes well for you tomorrow smile

coco It would show up on a digi, you said you were busy this week any chance of being able to get a cheapie aat lunch, if you have two digis it would go up while you were away, that is how you would know if it was progressing, my fingers are crossed for you

CritterPants Thu 19-Dec-13 20:53:47

euro oh honey what lovely news. I have been thinking of you all day and hoping you'd get good news. I know the next few weeks will be nailbiting but those HCG levels sound really good. There is every reason for this bean to stick. When do you go in for another test to see if the levels are doubling? or do they not do that at your clinic?

ten so sorry about the BFN, it's a horrible horrible feeling.

free hang in there. No news is good news!

coco I'm sorry this is so stressful, I would be panicking and stressing too. I would do another test and just give in to it - you're going to be obsessing either way. PCOS is an absolute bugger. Have you been temping at all?

gin a million congratulations on your little girl, hope you are recovering well.

sar and sweet sending love for speedy and easy festive deliveries.

sea hope you're ok. I am rooting for you this round.

Love to everyone else.

ThatWayMadnessLies Thu 19-Dec-13 21:12:49

euro so pleased that all was ok today. One day at a time and lots of distraction definitely the key. I still have hardly any symptoms and we're almost half way there apart from still huge knockers

ten so sorry. IVF negatives are so bloody hard.

fox almost to the holidays. hang in there! I had a work stress freak out today. Almost compulsory this time of year.

joy my neighbour was my nurse. Female but I still dead bumping in to her in the street knowing where she was during the last ET... Fingers firmly crossed that the NHS comes through for you.

sea banishing that cough and wishing you all the best in the next stage. Getting past downregging is a real achievement.

coco I would test if I were you but it is a dilemma. If you are using digis be aware that they don't always go up when you expect them to. Mine didn't and resulted in an absolutely unecessary freakout on my part blush.

Big waves to everyone else. On phone and have lost track. OH - but congrats gin and MrG!!!! grin

eurochick Thu 19-Dec-13 21:18:29

Thanks all. Critter they don't usually do another test here, but I have persuaded them (by paying for it) to send me for one on Saturday. That'll be 48 hrs on and if there is an appreciable increase in levels I will try to stop menkulling for a bit. Until the scan anyway (still never seen a good scan - only bad ones, first for my mum and then for me).

coco I agree with critter. You are obsessing anyway, so you might as well test.

buzz it's such a shame that you haven't been able to enjoy pregnancy. The people I know who have breezed through it have tended to be the instadiffers.

sweet I was out for dinner tonight with someone with a 1 January birthday. Upsides: you get free firework displays put on for you by obliging local councils; if you celebrate the night before every one goes out. Downsides: everyone is hungover on your actual birthday. smile

free what is your next step?

sea good luck for the hysteroscopy. I'm glad you like the feeling of coming round - that's the part that turns me into a lunatic!

We do have a 10+ers baby bonanza coming up, don't we? How lovely.

CritterPants Thu 19-Dec-13 21:44:30

euro I think that's a really good idea to go for another test on Saturday. It seems to be standard to do that at IVF clinics here in the US so they can check that the level is rising as it ought to be. Seems odd that they don't bother in the UK. I hope that it can put your mind at rest and you can tentatively enjoy Christmas. Remember sar had spotting (and I think so did some other ladies). Big big hug. I have everything crossed for you.

freedom2011 Thu 19-Dec-13 22:07:52

euro if nothing goes wrong, I go back to the clinic when they reopen in January for another scan. By my calculations I would be 8w4d by then. This is to see if anything developed in the tiny black dot which my doctor identified as the amniotic sac when I had the positive result confirmed last week. 20 days to go until then - taking progesterone, pregnancy first trimester vitamins and trying not to do anything that I will regret if it goes wrong. Would love to test regularly to reassure myself but I am away from home until 27th Dec. Probably saving myself a few quid.

sea how funny you love coming round, I am always really angry and in a very aggressive mood after general anesthetic. good luck for tomorrow.

coco fingers crossed for when you do test.

foxinorangesocks Fri 20-Dec-13 07:57:59

30 second post on my last early get up day of 2013! gringringrin

Euro - best Christmas present ever!!!!

Gin - yay!!!!!! Gorgeous photo on bookface, love the name too. I hope you are feeling ok physically.

Ten - sorry about the bfn. A poo time of year to be getting your head around that but the blues will pass. Big squeeze.

I am no longer in ttc mode I noticed as I jumped out of bed immediately post shag and (sorry graphicness ahead) squeezed out the sperms so as not to be squelchy in the bed. We have our review on Xmas eve and will be moving directly to donor egg. I feel 95 per cent sure that it is the right decision for us at this time. With 5 per cent curiosity about keeping at it for longer just in case. But frankly I just want to maximise my chances and have 2014 as a better year. Please?!

eurochick Fri 20-Dec-13 08:10:35

fox that sounds like the right decision. I hope 2014 will be a great year for you and all the 10+ers.

freethe waiting is awful isn't it? I'm the same as you coming round, and add in panicky and attempting to run away... hmm

Off to stalk gin on FB now. smile

joycep Fri 20-Dec-13 11:36:35

Euro – so pleased for you. I know this bit is just a terribly paranoid time so all I will say is, come on mini euro!

Gin – yay yay yay. Wishing you and Mr Gin and baby gin a very very happy Christmas. It must be one hell of a special time.

Ten – i’m so sorry about the bfn.

Fox – you sound like you have a good plan. How do you and MrFox feel about moving on to DE?

Free – i hope you are hanging in there in this unsettling wait.

Critter – when are you due, is it really soon?

Coco – did you cave and test?

Buzz – i am sorry you have had such a rotten pregnancy. What is SPD? I know for a fact if I ever get pregnant , I will find it an appallingly worrying experience but I’m sorry you have had to deal with so much sickness as well. But you are nearly there and I hope the next 6 weeks come round quickly.

Sea – i like coming around as well! I hope all went well this morning. Glad you fought your corner. Don’t let them bully you in to doing things on certain days. They are a bit odd like that and make you feel like you have scuppered your chances if you don’t do something when they say.

Waves to everyone.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 20-Dec-13 15:14:59

Wow fox, quick moving. Very impressed you have made Big Decisions whilst working like a demon and only just off the back of a terrible cycle. Well done. I really hope the appointment buys you some peace and hope for Christmas.

I am so pleased for you euro. The next few days/weeks will be really difficult, even if this all goes perfectly to plan. But I am willing your embie on to great things and a nice doubling of HCG by tomorrow. The numbers are pretty great for 14dpEC. Spotting does not need to mean anything!

Well done sea for standing your ground. More and more I dislike the attitude of That Clinic, despite its fab numbers. Really hoping this all goed perfectly for you from now on!

How are you joy?

And coco, any news?

The scan will be here before you know it free. Christmas makes time goes quickly unless I am sitting being bored to death by my ILs

Almost halfway mad, wow! When is your anomaly scan? Do you want to find out the sex?

And a whole cluster of layers between now and early 2014. I cannot wait for more 10+er news. We'd need some more BFP news as well, the thread has already done a fair number, but I'd like to see more.

Buzzybee123 Fri 20-Dec-13 17:58:37

grin at coming round, you little druggies, I like to keep sleeping, once I was in recovery,snoozing with a nice warm blanklet, I remember someone shouting 'Jane wake up, wake up Jane' fecking Jane didn't wake up but I bloody well did hmm another time I could here these funny snorting noises and woke up and realised it was me blush the nurse just smiled

sea hope all went well

coco so have you tested smile

joy its Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, a bit like being stabbed in the chuff hmm

foxy sounds like a good plan to me,you sound at peace with it all, I'm sure a couple of the women who have been on another thread did egg sharing, euro might know of others from the egg thread if you had any questions i'm sure they will be happy to share their experiences with you,enjoy your time off over xmas

sadly the remains of my pom pom garland met an unfortunate end yesterday, Kayla really doesn't like pom poms hmm

eurochick Fri 20-Dec-13 18:37:29

Quite a few of the egg buddies are using DE. resipsa just got a BFP from a DE cycle.

Kayla is such a character. I wonder how she will cope with the forthcoming competition for your attention? Do you think she will have a teenage sulk?

CocoAndNuts Fri 20-Dec-13 19:06:42

Ran to Boots and bought cheapies at lunch. Doing first pee tomorrow, I'm proud of myself for holding out for nearly a week. Would PCOS cause a false positive opk? I'm only "suspected" PCOS not confirmed.

buzz sorry to hear about the stressful and poorly pregnancy. It's not fair that the wait and worry doesn't end at the first scan. grin at waking yourself up snoring. I've only had a general for an op when I was a teenage. Absolutely LOVED the feeling when I woke up, but I'm more of a control freak now so that might have changed smile

fox it's so great that your feeling positive about the next step. What sort of info do they give you about the donor? In my younger years I wanted to be a donor but figured I'd wait until I'd had my own. hmm

Finished work. Train's just getting in to station. Woohoo!! Happy Christmas xxx

Buzzybee123 Fri 20-Dec-13 20:28:09

coco I shall be up at a sparrows fart looking out for your news

euro what time is your blood test tomorrow, its the fact I was sitting in the room when she did it, she started with one stopped turned looked at me then carried on hmm Barrys cat Barrys problem but yes I imagine there will be temper tantrums when the competition arrives, serves us right for spoiling her have the egg buddies set up there own thread, ivf worriers thread has been slightly hijacked

seamermaid Fri 20-Dec-13 21:15:47

Coco - well done! I look forward to your news. I can't believe you managed to wait this long before testing.

Euro - I read on the other thread where I stalk you have had some spotting. Big handholds. Fingers crossed it is Eurobean bedding in nice and tight. I bet you can't wait till the next blood test. You do sound v chilled. I am most impressed.

Free - Not so long till your next scan. Sending sticky sticky thoughts your way.

Fox - I am glad you have a plan in place already. How do you and Hare feel about DE?

Buzz - I am so sorry pregnancy has been so worrying. I agree that the people who breeze through it all seem to be instadiffers. You are almost there and soon you will be holding your baybee. It will all be worth it I am sure. I can't deny it. I love the feeling of coming around... if that makes me a druggie... LOL grin

Thanks Lemons and Joy for your lovely words of support as well.

All went okay with hystero. It was light sedation rather than general A.
I must say the clinic nurses are brilliant and v caring but the facilities.... I am not sure I have seen worst anywhere else but I guess that's not what we are paying for. The mice traps in the changing room and recovery room really put me off. I have serious musophobia. They are also doing some building work at the moment. It was most odd to sit in the recovery room seeing builders walking pass and peeping in the corridor. confused

I did have a slightly embarrassing moment.. I got changed into my transparent gown and completely forgot to put on the dressing gown they told me and walked into the corridor in just the tissue gown... then I realised that can't be right!? I think only one lady saw me before I realised my mistake and headed back to the changing room. What a silly mare!

Just did my first stab... it was nothing after the horrid Humira. Feel so much better now that I have that done.

foxinorangesocks Fri 20-Dec-13 21:43:44

I am finished for the hollidaaay! Time soon for huge catch up before Christmas but I had to say MICE TRAPS!!!! What?!!!!! Sea I'm glad you're ok. Where on earth is all their money going?

seamermaid Fri 20-Dec-13 21:55:33

Fox you must be pleased it's all finished for the year. You deserve a big rest.
Re mice traps. I know! To be fair I think most of the money goes on staff and testing. I keep telling myself I'm paying for science and not surroundings.

foxinorangesocks Fri 20-Dec-13 22:06:27

But sea that really isn't ok! I am shocked. But it is the outcome that matters now. Well done for stabbing, I found stab no 1 horrible and was also glad it was over. You are doing amazingly and have been so incredibly brave this year.

seamermaid Fri 20-Dec-13 22:19:49

I know. It is v off putting. I only spotted them in the changing room and recovery room, not where they do the procedures. Still not v pleasant but the staff were really excellent especially the nurses. I'm trying to look at the positives. smile

eurochick Fri 20-Dec-13 23:33:03

Eeek sea, that would really freak me out. I'm glad the hysteo was ok though.

Good luck for tomorrow coco. In answer to your question, yes, PCOS can give you a false positive OPK as it messes with LH levels, but I have high hopes for you.

buzz I don't think there is another thread. I have lurked occasionally and I see that there are lots of post-differs on there. I think it's kind of nice that they can all chat together now. Everyone on there seems lovely.

fox you are sounding in a much better place than you were a few weeks back. Hurrah for holidays!

joycep Fri 20-Dec-13 23:57:33

Sea - you made it to the dungeon then! Thankfully I missed the mice traps. Yuk! I was starkers in that changing room when one of the doctors came in. I never quite understand why they can't give the patients a separate changing room so the docs don't walk in. The big man is supposedly the world's richest fertility doc so I wish they would invest in a decent dungeon and good scanning machines. It can't take much to do that. Anyway well done for stabbing- you are truly off. It will fly by now.

CocoAndNuts Sat 21-Dec-13 08:34:37

fox yay for finishing for the hols! Hope you have a well deserved rest.

sea the dungeon and mousetraps does not conjure up images of an expensive cutting edge fertility clinic. That's shocking! However if they are sprucing the place up to make the facilities better, the building works would almost certainly disturb mice that live in the area. We had the same at our office. Building works two doors down caused mice to move in. When the works stopped the mice disappeared.

afm BFN... stupid feckin body, I guess it was a false opk and falling off the booze, coffee, carb wagon has thrown my cycles back in to their normal lengthy and unpredictable state. More bummed by that than the negative. Well I'm going to start the day with a latte and enjoy Christmas to its fullest.

MrC is being really chatty so wants me to stop typing. Catch up later x

Tenmonthsandcounting Sat 21-Dec-13 08:59:33

Sea sounds like you have a horrible bug indeed! It does seem to be going around at the moment I am avoiding the tube as much as possible in the run up to Christmas! The only time I have ever been sedated is for ec and I really liked it as well, I hadn’t been sleeping much and I just felt really happy that I had a nice nap…why see through gowns?? I don’t mind mice but I think I would be freaked out by seeing traps in a clinic from a hygiene perspective. Still I am sure they have all that under control, they are renowned for their results! Congrats on doing your first stab!

Nice to see you Sweet

Euro Brilliant news about your bloods!!! I am sure the next few weeks will be scary but so far everything is going well, hold onto that. Good luck for the bloods today.

Sar how are you feeling? Are you bored of people asking if there is any news yet?!

Buzz Wow 34 weeks! On the home stretch! Sorry that pregnancy hasn’t been as smooth as you had hoped, I am sure that long term ttc makes it much more stressful the whole way through, if we were insterdiffers we would have no concept of how fragile these things can be.

Coco I’m sorry, if there is hope then the negatives are harder. Enjoy your latte!

Free the waiting never stops hey! Hope that your wait until the next scan speeds by!

Fox Glad to hear this is the end of your manic week over with! Hopefully you can relax over the holidays. I agree MrT (who is one of the worlds most positive people) actually said last night, ‘I do hope 2014 is a better year than this one, I cant wait for it to be over’. I am so pleased that you are feeling more positive.

Thanks for your support ladies, I feel a lot more positive this morning, I will get the blood results today as I went in too late yesterday but it is a no and I seem to be fine with that now that I have stopped taking the progesterone! I knew all the way through nothing had happened so I don’t know why it threw me so much but I guess the hormones don’t help.
We luckily have an NHS round to go for next, for which I am so grateful and we will start in January I think. In the meantime here’s to champagne and gin over Christmas!
Waves to everyone I have missed.

eurochick Sat 21-Dec-13 11:08:22

I'm glad you're feeling more positive ten. And stopping the progesterone is always welcome! Enjoy your Xmas champers!

coco I'm so sorry about the cruel BFN. Why do our bodies play tricks on us?

joy the conditions there do sound pretty poor. According to this (ok it's the fail, so probably only about a 10% likelihood that it is true) he made £25m in a YEAR!

Poutintrout Sat 21-Dec-13 12:04:25

Quick post from me but just wanted to say what brilliant news on the blood test Euro

ten so sorry that you got a BFN. It is so tough. hUGS TO YOU.

Coco Ditto to you too. Our bodies can be horrid bitches sometimes. Hope that you are feeling okay. I say fall off the healthy wagon spectacularly and have a blow out Christmas & then have a virtuous New Year!

sea Hurrah for getting through the hystero and thank you for making me smile about you flashing the waiting room! Mice traps & this is a private clinic????

fox I am pleased that you are on the home stretch work wise.

free so glad that all is well with you.

buzz sorry that you think you now have SPD too. What rotten luck, it sounds horrible.

Right must dash. I've got so much to do I don't know where to start though coffee and a pecan pastry is tempting for a kick off and MrP, like every bloody year, isn't here when there is all the Christmas prep to do grrrrrr. Love and waves to all!

Buzzybee123 Sat 21-Dec-13 14:04:30

coco so sorry about the BFN sad

free glad you are feeling a bit more positive, roll on January

sea hope you are still in a druddie haze today

euro have you had the second blood test results back, have I missed that?? I agree the ladies are lovely on the thread but they now totally monopolise it now with their baby/feeding chat, the thread is supposed to be about supporting newly ivf duffers, they hardly ever post, I certainly don't feel I can chat on there, I find it a bit depressing

pout how was the coffee and pecan wink Barry has just scuttled out the flat hmm so I suppose I should get on with a few jobs

eurochick Sat 21-Dec-13 17:34:43

I kind of see what you mean, buzz. I have a little lurk occasionally and have enjoyed reading about their wins, but I see your point about the duffers having nowhere to chat.

AFM, I have nothing to report, because the clinic didn't bloody well call! And when I called them a couple of hours ago, I got a recorded message saying the clinic closed at 2pm. FUCKERS. HOW MUCH AM I FUCKING PAYING YOU? Harrumph. I have to hope I can get hold of someone tomorrow now.

joycep Sat 21-Dec-13 18:05:45

Of FFS Euro, that is a complete disgrace. What the duck is their problem? Don't they understand they are dealing with people who have been though fertility hell. I'm pissed on your behalf. You better get a refund.

Buzzybee123 Sat 21-Dec-13 18:12:54

thats shit euro i'd be mega pissed off, clinics seem to miss the point about how stressful it all is, if it was a breeze they would be out of business, who the fuck wants to wait for blood test results

CritterPants Sat 21-Dec-13 20:24:20

Oh euro had been checking back waiting for your news. That is ridiculous. I would be raging. The only thing I can hope is that they haven't bothered because everything looks good. But still I agree it is a disgrace. angry

seamermaid Sun 22-Dec-13 00:08:28

euro That's awful and v unprofessional of them. They must understand this is a v v difficult journey. I am sorry and really hope you manage to get hold of someone first thing. Grrrrrrr on your behalf.

ten I am gutted for you. It's so unfair... There are no words but you do seem to be taking it well. Enjoy your Xmas and then in the new year you can think about next steps. A big hug to you. I like the sound of MrT. He sounds like a good 'un. grin

joy Yes I made it. Well I hope the mice traps are only there because of the building work then! Good that they didn't have it when you were there. I agree they could improve the place. My understanding is Mr T took a massive dividend to work on a biz model of expanding his clinic nationwide. I read that although he is v rich he doesn't have a car nor does he take hols. He lives in a nice area but apparently the place is not at all grand. I don't think he is driven by money, but more his legacy and perhaps ego.

pout You sound like a v busy Xmas hostess! grin

Day 2 of stimms. So far so good. MrS thinks I am running around too much but I am just trying to ignore that I am cycling as much as possible and get on with my life. Still bleeding but I am guessing that is normal after a hysteroscopy.

Shellster52 Sun 22-Dec-13 06:00:09

I am trying to relax after an IVF failure and telling myself I am not 'infertile' but just taking longer to conceive than average so I don't go crazy while my body recovers so I can do another IVF. With that mindset, I have moved from the infertility board back to this conception board. Hoe you don't mind if I join you.

Euro, just noticed your post that the horrors didn't call you with your blood result! Far out! Was your first blood result at least high numbers, or were they on the low side, making this anxious wait even longer? Hope you can get hold of them soon. Hang in there. You've come so far.

eurochick Sun 22-Dec-13 07:42:31

Hi shellster. Welcome to the thread. This is a lovely supportive place.

My HCG was decent on Thursday. I'd basically told myself that if the second number showed a decent rise I would try to stop worrying at least until the scan in a couple of weeks. I was also planning on telling my parents as they are coming for Christmas and it will be immediately noticeable if I'm not drinking as I am usually leading the charge! (And I'd tell them if things went wrong anyway, even though they were not terribly supportive last time.) So a lot was waiting on that phone call!

sea I think you are right that he is driven by ego/legacy from what I have read.

I'd say keep running around for as long as you feel up to it - just listen to your body. I was fine right up to EC, very sore and bruised afterwards. Other people with loads of follies get very swollen and tender in the lead up to EC.

pout I hope your Christmas prep is going well!

eurochick Sun 22-Dec-13 09:48:08

They finally called back (after some chasing). The HCG was 246 (it was 107, 48 hrs earlier). So I am going to try to stop mekulling until the New Year now (and then it will all start again for the scan on 3 Jan).

joycep Sun 22-Dec-13 10:21:28

Euro smile. Now kick up your feet over xmas and try not to mental. I know so difficult. But i'm very happy for you.

Welcome Shellster - i'm sorry about the bfn. It's very tough. I like your thinking. Basically we are just on different paths to other people. This is a very supportive thread. i think the vast majority of us on here have been trying for at least 3 years and/or have at least one failed cycle behind us.

Sea - i don't think it matters if you are running around at this point. I was running up and down the road to the clinic right up to EC (ok that's not a good advert i know!!). But obviously after ET , you will need to kick up your feet a bit more. My friend's friend was successful on her 6th round and she was convinced it was because she started running and doing exercise again before EC and continued running after ET on her lucky 6th round.

Tenmonthsandcounting Sun 22-Dec-13 11:29:09

A very quick one to say congrats euro that is great news enjoy Christmas!!!!!

Welcome shell sorry you find yourself here but it is a supportive place to hang out while you wait for your bfp.

CocoAndNuts Sun 22-Dec-13 11:41:14

Welcome shellster sorry your IVF round wasn't a success.

euro that's fantastic news ! I've no idea what the numbers should be but that seems like a nice chunky increase. I hope you're able to kick back and enjoy the Christmas break.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 22-Dec-13 11:50:31


lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 22-Dec-13 11:52:52

Welcome Shell! I hope you find the Thread as wonderful as I have always found it!

Massive YAY euro! I am welling up ever so slightly! But I'll blame the hormones!

Thinking of you all, happy Christmas all round and an improved year for many on Thread!

Buzzybee123 Sun 22-Dec-13 12:24:39

euro great news, hope the next two weeks fly by for you, the wait for the first scan is crap

shellster welcome

ThatWayMadnessLies Sun 22-Dec-13 12:28:47

Hiding from the in laws long enough to give euro a big squeeze. Enjoy xmas and try to put the scan to the back of your mind. My philosophy right now is to try to enjoy each phase because I'll be devastated if it goes wrong whether I am happy now or stressed now. Does that make sense? I will be happy while I can be and hopefully all will be fine. I have been able to follow this advice sometimes!

Will be a long xmas here. Finding my father in law particularly difficult to tolerate.... Must learn to bite my tongue and not engage with discussions about immigration etc. He is almost 80 and I will not change his mind!

Happy Holidays everyone!!

seamermaid Sun 22-Dec-13 16:41:06

Great news Euro! Now please enjoy your Xmas... I am so happy for you. grin

Shellster welcome! I am sorry you find yourself here but this is a lovely home for those whose journey is taking just that bit longer. I'm sorry about your failed ivf round. A big handhold.

Thanks everyone for the lovely supportive words. Scan today and it looks like I have lots of small follies, still early days and we have to wait and see. Day 3 of stimms is going okay. They have added Clexane and baby aspirin to the mix. Staying calm so far.

CritterPants Sun 22-Dec-13 21:43:52

Yay euro! I'm so so so pleased for you. Those numbers sound great. What a brilliant Christmas present.

sea great job with the stabbing. You are on your way now, you've been so patient - the next few weeks will go quickly I hope.

welcome shellster, this is a wonderfully supportive and kind thread.

ten hope you're doing ok and thinking of you. Great news you'll get another round soon.

joy hope you're ok too and that you can get your NHS referral through too. After everything you've been through, I really hope they don't mess you about.

fox you sound in a better place. I wish I could give you a big hug. You have been so brave and been dealt such a shitty hand.

Love to everyone else. All well here. I think someone asked when my due date was - it's Jan 22. So after sar and sweet, who should be any day, and just before buzz. Weird how we often have clusters on this thread and then nothing for ages. I hope euro's well-deserved BFP brings some luck!

Shellster52 Mon 23-Dec-13 05:24:02

Thank you all SO MUCH for the welcome. I am glad I found this thread with everyone struggling to conceive hidden in the conception area. I am needing a place to vent while I wait for my body to recover from my failed IVF so I can go again.

I have had 3 IVF's and while I don't get many eggs, my embryo quality has improved each time. Last time it was top quality so I was really shattered with my BFN. I have a super light 2 day periods so am now thinking that my lining is the prob, after reading a study that a lining <8mm reduces IVF implantation by 80%. Am changing IVF clinics and have an appointment on 7th Jan. I hope the Dr can give me an answer to this prob so I can get an overdue BFP next IVF PLEASE!!!!

Will try and keep up with this fast moving thread and learn what you are all up to. So you are just starting IVF seamermaid. Is this your first? Sounds like a good start with lots of little follies.

akuabadoll Mon 23-Dec-13 05:36:10

Wonderful news euro I'm always following as your ex cycle buddy.
Tiny Doll, Little Doll, house guests and our third world setting are all giving me a run for my money. There is some evil unidentified bug striking us all down one by one. Tiny Doll is 7 weeks now. Enjoy Christmas all, have a mince pie, piece of Christmas cake, dress in layers and wear boots for me please. fox I've sent you a bit of sun wink

seamermaid Mon 23-Dec-13 19:02:23

Critter - You are right.. It is odd how there seems to be clusters. Yippeeeee you are almost there! You will soon be holding your baybeee.... grin

Shellster - I am sorry to hear about the 3 bfns. That must be v tough to deal with. I really feel for you. I too have v light periods - mine are between 2 - 3 days. I only ever really get 1 full day of bleeding but docs never seem v interested. Have you tried acupuncture? I only say that because it's meant to help increase blood flow to the uterus at the right time. I know it sounds a bit woooo and many docs think it is bs. My current clinic actually said it would be good to have it during the cycle. Maybe something to think about?

To answer your question - yes this is my first ivf.
A recap of my history. Would be great to see other 10 plussers' as well as I think we all need a reminder now and again and maybe good for newbies as well?!

Me 35 (almost 36!!) - AMH (29.8), FSH (6.7) AFC (7) - all ok. Clean lapo & HSG. DH 40 - all normal. Unexplained infertility
TTC 4 years (started TTC when I was 31)
Jan & Feb 13 - 2 x IUI - both BFN
April13 - Cycle monitoring & immunes at ARGC. Cytokine level 38.2 Positive TB test. Treatment for latent TB- 3 mths, 1st course Humira Aug/Sept, flare, Cytokine went up to 47
2nd lot of Humira Sept/Oct. Results better but still high at 34.9.
Oct - Intralipids done, Cytokines finally came down
Dec - LP

seamermaid Mon 23-Dec-13 19:03:35

Doll - I meant to say... I hope you all feel better soon. Tiny doll sounds just adorable. You must be so happy. Have an amazing Xmas with your new bundle. smile

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 23-Dec-13 19:10:53

Waves excitedly at doll and assorted small people! Hope all Will fall into place soon!

Wow, sea, it's quite a journey, isn't it! Hoping for an early 2014 win for you!

Shell, I am a longtime resident, but now 16 weeks diffed after FET1, failed IVF before and 8 IUIs one of which became a mc at 7+4 last year. Unexplained and now 34, ttc for 3.5 yrs...

seamermaid Mon 23-Dec-13 23:19:37

Thanks lemons. We have all been on one hell of a journey. I'm so glad you got your win!

A quick question for you ladies. Is it normal to bleed during stimms? I'm on day 4. I had a little spotting since hysteroscopy which I had last Friday but bleeding seems to have picked up. Is this to be expected? Any insight would be really appreciated.

eurochick Tue 24-Dec-13 09:11:34

Thanks for all the kind words, ladies. It means so much to know that you are cheering me on.

doll that sounds like quite an adventure! Have a wonderful Christmas.

Sea I didn't bleed (apart from my usual period bleeding) but hadn't had a hysteroscopy.

critter only a month to go now! Wow.

shell knows a bit of my history as we've chatted on the infertility board, but here is a round up:

Me 37 (soon to be 38), Him 38.
TTC for 3 years, including 3 cycles of super-ovulation with Letrozole, 6 cycles with Prednisolone, 2 natural IUIs and 4 IVFs (one of which ended in mc).
Currently a nervous ninny after recent BFP from IVF#4.

Cosmonaut1 Tue 24-Dec-13 23:37:43

Christmas tears at this end. How familiar. A bitter and twisted sigh.

Mrsden Wed 25-Dec-13 08:21:47

Cos, Big hug for you. Christmas is shit for Those of us with nö light at the end of the Tunnel yet.

CocoAndNuts Wed 25-Dec-13 08:24:13

Big hugs cos Hoping this Christmas will pass without too much pain and the new year will bring us new hope. x

eurochick Wed 25-Dec-13 08:53:06

<joins in the cos group hug> I hope that we all have better 2014.

seamermaid Wed 25-Dec-13 09:31:53

Big hand hold Cos.
Xmas is a tough holiday generally. It's one of my least favourite times of the year. I find the pressure of having the perfect family just too much. It's so especially tough for those who are struggling to have their own family.
Like Euro says I really hope that 2014 brings a much better year for all of us.

Euro. I hope you can put your feet up and not mental too much. I know it must be hard.

foxinorangesocks Wed 25-Dec-13 16:25:37

Joining in group hug. It's a challenge to be Christmassy without thinking of the could have beens and the mystery of the future. Love you all though. And euro - so so pleased for you.

Had my review on Christmas Eve - nice cons rather brutal about what needs to happen next for real chance of a baby. Suffice it to say my eggs were not included. I'm ok though. I've got a brilliant man, family, wine and cheese.

sarlat Wed 25-Dec-13 20:11:59

Sorry for any tears and sadness today - I remember that feeling very well. Christmas is a hard time of year.

Heres hoping for successful and wonderful 2014s. X

joycep Thu 26-Dec-13 05:18:50

Oh cos , big hug. It is all so familiar and I find Christmas very difficult. I struggled through yesterday and was exceptionally teary which all started on Christmas Eve. I couldn't feel joyful about anything I'm afraid and kept thinking that no doubt I will be in the same position this time next year and the next and the next. Didn't help that I am pre AF and my mother flipped out over something and caused a scene in front of the MiL and it was all exceptionally embarrassing especially as my father jumped in which caused more arguments, more bad tempers and more embarrassment. Just another standard stressful Christmas in the JoyRoy household. Now escaped back to a house with no central heating (preferable choice than staying with any of the parents) and trying to sleep in all my clothes but still i am like an ice block. but thank god it is fairly dry inside unlike some of our neighbours near the river whose houses are under about 6ft of water.

Sea - hope stabbing is going ok.
Sar- no sign of little Sar yet?

eurochick Thu 26-Dec-13 05:50:49

Are we feeling more positive now it's all over for another year?

Fox that is an admirable attitude.

Joy I think I'd take no heating over that too! Hope you can get it sorted soon.

Afm, I've done quite well on the no men killing stakes up to now but had a visual migraine on Xmas eve. I've only had one once before and it was around the time I miscarried. And today my boobs are no longer sore. The wait for the scan is going to be agony.

eurochick Thu 26-Dec-13 05:59:37

Men killing= menkulling!

seamermaid Thu 26-Dec-13 07:28:05

Euro I really hope the migraine is just a random Xmas related thing and not what you fear. When is your scan? 2nd? Big handhold to you. The wait must be torturous. Take heart from the good HCG numbers you had please. Big handhold Euro and snuggle in tight Euro bean.

Joy I'm ever so sorry Xmas was upsetting and stressful. I hope you get your CH sorted soon. I'm so relieved Xmas is over for another year. I find it so hard to see family members who I don't get on with and pretending everything is okay. I was also surrounded by little people, one in particular was v difficult and her parents just let her run riot!

Fox I'm glad you enjoyed Xmas. I'm sorry follow up was difficult but glad you seem to have some sort of plan in place.

Sar did mini sar arrive in time for Xmas?

I'm on day 7 of stimms. It's going okay. I'm still sniffing my down reg meds on full dose as before and I think it's beginning to change me. I snapped and yelled at MrSea for something stupid yesterday and I'm getting regular hot sweaty flashes. Yuk

Stimms meds are fine and injections are almost painless but the Clexane injections have given me a collection of bruises on my stomach and I'm struggling to find a space to inject without hitting a bruise. The Clexane is sooooo painful. shock

Ginestas Thu 26-Dec-13 08:15:18

Hello all. Just popping in to offer some massive hugs. Like sar says, I remember the sadness all too well and last Xmas was my worst ever. I wish I could make it better for you all. cos after everything you have been through recently, I can imagine this would be a particularly hard year. Big hugs.

euro I had a lot of migraine in the first few months of pregnancy. Like you, I worried that it meant af was round the corner but I think they were just hormonal. The wait for the scan must be agonising. Hope you managed to enjoy your Xmas. Ps ha ha at men killing <imagines kill bill stylee euro>

sea you are onto stims already! It must feel good to be progressing with things. Don't worry about the snappiness , you'll quickly be back to normal once the hormones have left your system (hopefully replaced with preggo ones!) I've just finished a course of post birth clexane and have bruised thighs! We were like yeah clexane, done that before.

joy sorry about the crappy day yesterday. Do you and Roy have anything nice planned for the rest of the break? Hope you get your heating back soon .

ten I was so sorry to read that you didn't get your bfp. For us in a v similar situation to you, it was all about the numbers game and finding the right embie. Great news you have the NHS cycle to go. Will you be doing that at create?

Waves and xmassy luffs to everyone else.

eurochick Thu 26-Dec-13 10:21:29

sea this seems to have gone really quickly after such a long wait to start. How are you feeling? Have they said when they think EC might be yet?

gin thanks for the reassurance. I wish this journey could be easier for all of us.

joycep Thu 26-Dec-13 10:29:57

Euro - It's so hard waiting for the scan especially as you have been here before and so easy to compare things to last time. Boob pain can come and go and I hope it has no relation to anything.

Sea - of course you are snappy , it messes with all your hormones. I think you are doing amazingly well considering. I didn't realise you had to continue to down reg whilst stimming. My stomach went totally black from the clexane and by 8 weeks I had to go to a nurse because it looked so bad and wrong. She told me to start doing it my thighs to give the tummy some respite so might be worth doing? The thighs bruises took a good few months to go down but I have very thin skin.

Gin- you must have had an amazing Xmas albeit exhausting. I just can't imagine it.

Well so pleased that day is over. Just have to get through NYE next which strangely I also find emotional.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 26-Dec-13 13:53:49

Handhold for euro! The scan will be soon! It's tough, I spotted for 10days which signalled my mc last year, but I didn't this time! So hard tho sad

Big sorry for all the miz christmasses. Last year was a particular low point for us too. Big hugs!

seamermaid Thu 26-Dec-13 13:59:06

Euro - No idea when EC might be yet. Follies are still small apparently. I hope you are doing something that takes your mind off "men killing".

Gin - How was baby G's first xmas. So so lovely to have a newborn at this time of the year. I can no idea they make you do Clexane post birth as well. Gulp.

Joy - I am completely with you on NY as well. I also have my birthday v soon after which is sad . Late Dec and early Jan is always difficult for me. Are you doing anything nice for NYE? I asked about doing the Clexane on thigh but they said they prefer the belly. I had no idea you have to keep taking this evil injection post transfer. shock

Had an extraordinary long wait today. Follies are still small ish so more stabbing to come. Will be spending NYE with preggo friend (all the no alcohol people have to hang together grin). I hope my hormones behave that night I don't turn into a monster and start yelling at people. I never realised how much I depend on alcohol during this time of year. Sober Xmas and NY sucks! angry

eurochick Thu 26-Dec-13 15:15:22

sea I hear you on sober Xmas. I can't remember the last time I didn't spend these days in a pleasant alcoholic haze. It was just me, Mr euro and my mum and dad for Xmas Day. Mr euro and my mum only drink tiny amounts and my dad was taking it easy as he was driving. We opened a bottle of champagne with lunch. I had to pour a flat glass's worth down the sink in the evening as it hadn't been finished! I could have cried. I've no idea what we are doing for NYE yet. If it's all for nought, I am going to go out and get absolutely trollied for my birthday next month!

Slow but sure growing is good. The clexane sounds evil. It's offered at my clinic but I declined and just took aspirin. I've been tested for clotting disorders and don't have them so there didn't seem to be a good reason to put myself through that.

joy it's not surprising that you find NYE emotional. I do too.

gin this must have been an amazing Christmas for you. How are you finding it all?

Thanks for the handholds. Scan is a week tomorrow. <wishes the days away>

Ginestas Thu 26-Dec-13 16:29:56

It has been amazing euro and I still don't quite believe we have our baby! As you may have seen on the other thread, we had a hard labour and birth, which combined with lack of sleep has been tough, but worth every minute of it. Breast feeding is not going well, but she's regaining weight thanks to mr nestle. I just feel incredibly lucky to have our baby. It's funny to think that we saw her being put back into me as an embryo in create!

sea most people don't have to have clexane post birth, it was due to having an instrumental delivery. I def found it the worst of the ivf jabs and like euro refused it during the FET. It was a lot easier doing it this time, knowing the end result.

Urgh I hate NYE too. So much pressure to have A Good Time.

Tenmonthsandcounting Thu 26-Dec-13 21:44:16

Pout Hope that you got all of your Christmas prep done in time, I seem to alwasys be running around no matter how much time I leave myself

Buzz SPD sounds awful, sorry you are suffering!

Euro although I liked create I did get frustrated sometimes about the lack of customer service vs the amount of money you are spending, especially when one of the receptionists made a mistake over what she was meant to charge me for…. BRILLIANT news about the hcg levels, I hope you had a lovely Christmas as a result (despite having to throw champagne away….galling)

Sea sounds like you are doing well, I only started the clexane after egg transfer (well I ended up doing an FET) and it was definitely the worst of the lot, one side of my tummy hurt much more than the other which is weird. I found icing the spot for 5 mins before stabbing helped a lot (sure you have already tried that though). I carried on as normal as this was the advice I was given so as not to loose your mind.

Mad for the first time ever this year I found some of FIL comments annoying, luckily I had SIL on side so she took him on for me when he made ridiculous right wing sweeping statements as for once I was truly gobsmacked.

Critter – wow only a month to go! Fantastic news!!

Doll Oh no no one needs bugs over Christmas, hope you are all recovered by now!

Cos – sorry you were sad over Christmas. I was a little bit, mainly as we kept going to stay with people with kids and I was all wistful and what if….and then we kept going to stay with people with kids and WTF is it with other peoples kids…….they are SO ANNOYING.

Joy – I understand about worrying about the situation being the same next year and the year after, the only way I stay sane is just to assume that that wont be the case, I am just holding on to that for now but I assume after a couple more failed rounds of IVF I will start to find this approach harder to keep up.

Gin hope you had a lovely Christmas with tinyGIn, it is lovely to have a new born around this time of year. With you on the NYE pressure, we have friends coming to stay which will be great, I am looking forward to starting a new year! Sorry to hear you had a difficult birth, it should be all plain sailing for those of us who take longer to get there, that should definitely be the deal!

Hello Fox glad to hear that your review went well and you have a plan for the new year!

Waves to everyone else, Lemons etc.
I was a bit sad (and still am tbh) but am just moving forwards. Getting on with the NHS round, and presuming everything will be ok in the end……. Spending Christmas with other people’s children has taken the pressure off a bit briefly, holy crap when they aren’t yours to discipline and are behaving like little shits kids are annoying. I really hope that when they are yours the hormones mean that you think they are charming beings instead of the miniature violent dictators that I have had the pleasure of spending time with recently (Or is it just the parenting [catty emoticon]).

seamermaid Fri 27-Dec-13 09:07:17

Ten - Of course you are sad. You have been through a lot and it's hard enough without Xmas on top it it so soon after. A big handhold.

I hear you on kids behaving badly at Xmas. I was surrounded by little people on Xmas day. One in particular was a real pain and the parents say nothing. Grrrrr.

Gin - I am sorry to hear you had a difficult birth. All 10 plusser pregnancies and deliveries should be a breeze after what you had to go through to get there. What an amazing gift at the end though. I hope you are loving motherhood. smile

Euro - Pouring champagne down the sink!!!! My goodness. That's not right. I only ever have 2 drinks at any one sitting so I had thought it would be easy to not drink at all but it's amazing how it helps over the Xmas period. Not looking forward to teetotal NYE either. I sound like a big lush don't I?

I hope you are not stressing too much. Not long now till the scan.

Okay. Big moan alert. I am having in-law fatigue. MIL is staying with us and has completely organised all the plates in my cupboards, taken over the kitchen and was found snuggling with MrSea watching Downton Abbey on my laptop. I am trying not to let it get to me but it is slightly (not helped by hormones/drugs etc)... she is v helpful and nice but just a little too much. Also having to contend with BIL and his family which includes a kid who is so spoilt that it's unreal. Actually quite happy to go into my bedroom to do the injections just to get a bit of peace. Oh please help me... only 3 more days until I have my home back.

eurochick Fri 27-Dec-13 09:32:22

sea that sounds awful! I bet you are counting down the days. The kitchen organisation would really piss me off.

ten of course you are sad. An IVF BFN is extra tough, because of all the effort that goes into the cycle. I love your description of the children as "miniature violent dictators" - spot on!

gin I saw that you had a hard time. I hope you are recovering well. She is gorgeous!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 27-Dec-13 11:00:00

Sorry about the sadness ten. It's to be expected though. Life is tough and IVF BFN are SHIT. This time of year is so full of family stuff and looking back to the past year and forward to the next. Handhold and have some amazing chocolate cake that I just finished baking.

Sea I already thought you were the most patients person I "know" but this confirms it. Your ILs sound too much by about a factor of 100. So sorry. Counting down the days with you.

Great to hear a little about ginster's first christmas. So sorry it's been tough, gin. I agree the 10+ers should have easy pregnancies and sneeze births. We deserve it.

Big luffs to all the 10+ers!

eurochick Sat 28-Dec-13 08:51:42

How's everyone doing today?

We had a properly lazy day yesterday when we didn't leave the house. I was pretty much glued to the sofa all day, working my way through all the Xmas snack food. I must move at some point today!

seamermaid Sat 28-Dec-13 19:12:23

Lemons thanks for the sympathy! They leave tomorrow! I'm not that patient but mil is actually a v nice person just have boundary issues grin

Euro. Your day on the sofa sounds like a dream. You deserve to relax after all the worries this year. Still cheering on euro bean. I hope you are not "men killing " too much.

Bil and sil dumped 3 kids with us today so after heading to the clinic for blood and scan in the morning I have been on babysitting duty all day. Mil was with us and insisted on holding mrsea's hand while I take care of the kids. So exhausted!

On the IVF front I'm on day 9 of stimms and really feeling v bloated and uncomfortable now. But doc thinks I have another 6 days of stimms as although I seem to have quite a few follies they are still quite small. Can't quite believe I have another 6 days of this. sad I have also been put on steroids which gave me quite a "high" today.

eurochick Sat 28-Dec-13 19:32:48

Blimey, that's a lot of stimming! Because of my two lead follies racing away, I had EC on CD12, so only stimmed for 7 days (CD2-9, and then triggered on CD10). That was quite long enough. I think this whole year has prepared you for being extremely patient! You are doing so well.

How come MIL and your husband have left you babysitting the IL's kids? The cheeky feckers. I'd retire to bed for a couple of hours to do some egg growing if I were you!

seamermaid Sat 28-Dec-13 22:32:39

To be fair MrS and mil were helping but mil doesn't get to see mrS so much so when we went for a long walk they were walking hand in hand leaving me with the 3 kids for most of the trek. Wow that was hard work!

I'm really scared of stimming for another 6 days. I hope the growth speeds up a bit. I have developed really bad backache, pain in lower calves and it hurts to pee now. I already look pregnant. I can't figure out if I'm responding slowly because they put me on a v low dose to begin with or I'm not responding well. I started out on 150ul or 75ul of fostimon and/or merinol and in the last 2 days 225 ul of merinol. Any ideas ladies? I do ask questions when I go for the scans but they just tell me it's fine, looks like a few more days etc.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 29-Dec-13 08:08:40

Morning Sea, I get very tired and impatient by reading about your Christmas. As to time taken and dosages, it's not too dissimilar to mine. I was stimming for a full 14 days on 150 gonal-f. I think if you're likely to respond (too) well they prefer to start you off on a lower dose. Is it LP? That takes longer to get going as well, because your ovaries are fast asleep when you start!

Waves at the others! Hope all christmasses have been survived and I order relaxing sofa days all round!

seamermaid Sun 29-Dec-13 10:06:10

Lemons. Haha. Yes I felt tired too about my Xmas. The good news is all the ILs leave today. I can finally rest now. smile

Thanks for the insight into drugs and stimming. Yes I am on LP. I think you might be right about ovaries being really sleepy when I started. My estradiol was really low when we started so that's probably why. I guess I will just have to be more patient! I hope you had a lovely Xmas. I agree with you about sofa days all round.

eurochick Mon 30-Dec-13 10:05:44

Hurrah for peace and quiet, sea!

How are your follies doing now? I think I probably would have done better on LP, given my two run away follies.

seamermaid Mon 30-Dec-13 10:48:25

Follies are doing well I think. Still growing slowly but steadily. They think I have around 14 in total and the largest is around 12mm so I probably still have another 3 /4 days to go. Feeling good generally. A bit bruised and tender but nothing terrible so can't complain.
How are you doing Euro? Not too worried I hope. And I hope your headache has gone. I think it's only 3 more days until your scan isn't it?

joycep Mon 30-Dec-13 11:17:32

Well done Sea , that all sounds good. The one benefit of the Argy is how well they monitor you and so you can always be sure you are in safe hands. Sorry you are a bit in pain , quite a few people I came across had this. Your AFC is obviously a lot more than 7!

Euro. How are you? Any symptoms?

Hope everyone has had an ok break. I have to say I've been particularly hormonal and wound up this Xmas. I have that horrid nervy feeling in my tummy as spending NYE with some friends who are TTC. I am worried she is going to tell me she is preggers. Do others get this anxious about seeing good friends?
SiL has had another m/c around the 20wk mark. They are obviously devastated. Strange they have had this bad luck after 2 easy pregnancies prior. I guess the one lucky thing is they have kids already and conceive easily but I'm sure if I was in their position I wouldn't see it like that.

eurochick Mon 30-Dec-13 11:46:04

Your poor SIL, joy. That must be awful. Do they know what went wrong?

I do get the "the dread" when I'm seeing someone and I think there might be an announcement in the offing.

sea that sounds like good steady growing. smile

joycep Mon 30-Dec-13 11:51:07

I am not sure, I don't think Roy has asked. Both have been mmc and all has looked fine up until that point. Must be absolutely horrendous.

Buzzybee123 Mon 30-Dec-13 12:06:32

sea well done on all the stabbing, sorry have no other input on the matter, hope you are enjoying your family free time now

joy sorry to hear about your SIL she must be devastated. I am sure they will run tests on the baby and placenta, some women do have normal pregnancies then develop immune issues after. She won't see it like that but you are right they have a family and seem to conceive quickly, some people don't always see how lucky they are already, although this is a sad situation, don't let them dump on you and Roy

euro how is the men killing going??

Well I have to go out in this vile weather and I haven't even dressed yet blush

eurochick Mon 30-Dec-13 12:11:22

buzz the men killing is still there. I felt nauseous pretty much all day yesterday, but I'm ok today. I'm around the point when it stopped growing last time, so obviously pretty nervous. And whilst I know symptoms can come and go, it is not helpful! I feel very guilty about willing away my holiday days, but Friday just cannot get here soon enough.

freedom2011 Mon 30-Dec-13 14:37:48

Watching your updates with interest euro. Theorhetically 7w 2 days today but no symptoms at all other than no AF and positive test. Only sickness I feel is from stuffing my face with fish and chips followed by nutella and banana crepe at lunch. I also miscarried further along than this last time so I understand the nerves and willing time to pass. 1 week 2 days to go until scan here.

Joycep that is awful awful awful. Your poor SIL. Sorry to hear this.

Sea your patience is unbelievable and I admire you greatly. Good luck with stimming.

sarlat Mon 30-Dec-13 14:44:40

Sorry, selfish post coming sar ws born on Saturday after an intense labour and birth. Totally in love with our baby girl. Photos on t'other place and birth story on other thread. She has now left another space for the next bfp from ttc 10+. Thinking of you all and will catch up properly soon. Thank you to everyone who helped and supported me through my ttc journey - don't think she would be here without all my friends on this thread who have always offered virtual handholding, support and laughter. Xxxx

freedom2011 Mon 30-Dec-13 15:27:38

Congratulations sar that is wonderful news.

Buzzybee123 Mon 30-Dec-13 16:51:40

symptoms can be a complete mind feck hmm it stressed me out as mine would come and go so can sympathise, Friday will feel like an age away

free when is your scan booked for

freedom2011 Mon 30-Dec-13 17:12:10

January 8th buzzy. So next week.

seamermaid Mon 30-Dec-13 18:04:01

Sar congratulations! What wonderful news! Very very happy to see another 10 plussers baby arrive in the world. I hope you are feeling okay. It must feel so amazing to have your baybee in your arms after such a long fight to get here. Enjoy it. Delighted for you.

Free and Euro. I'm sure it's impossible not to worry at this stage. I'm just so hoping for sticky beans and easy pregnancies for you both. You so deserve it after all you have been through.

Joy I have no compliant a so far about the Argy and the whole ivf process. I have felt surprisingly well considering. I have no clue about AFC and actual number of follies. There never seems to be direct correlation between the two in ladies I know who had ivf in RL. I'm just going along with it and trying to follow the instructions and keep positive as much as I can.

Buzz I hope you are feeling better now. I remember you were not feeling great a while back.

Waves to fox, pout, critter, ten, Mrsd and madness.

seamermaid Mon 30-Dec-13 18:09:57

Joy I forgot to say I think it's v normal to feel that way. My latest worries are the weddings I am attending in the next few months. I'm convince some of these couples will be instadiffers and even they will overtake me. I know it's a horrible way to think but it's what pops into my mind whenever I get a wedding invite these days.

I'm sorry to hear about SIL's mc. It must be particularly difficult after 3 month mark. Like Buzz I think the fact they already have 2 children should soften the blow even if only slightly but I'm sure it won't feel that way for them. I agree again with Buzz you need to take care of yourself and not let them offload too much on you.
Did you hear back about the funded cycle?

eurochick Mon 30-Dec-13 18:49:46

Congrats sar. I don't think we are friends on t'other place. I will PM you my name so you can add me (if that's ok) in all that free time you will have on your hands now....