Eggcellent Egg Buddies - a thread for those IVFing in November, December and January

(1000 Posts)
eurochick Fri 22-Nov-13 09:20:58

New thread. Welcome back to all the regulars. Welcome to all the newbies - please come and join us if you are IVFing or thinking about. The regulars are a mine of information at this point!

Do you realise that this will take us through a year of egg buddy threads? I believe Karbea started the last one around Xmas time last year for those cycling in 2013 and I immediately jumped on it as I was about to start my first cycle in January. Blimey.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Fri 22-Nov-13 09:32:31

Hey Euro

Lovely thread smile

God I can't believe it's been a year. I did join the first thread even though I didn't actually get started until July.

Glad to hear the scratch went ok. What's the consensus? Is it meant to hurt or not? I either hear its been fine or it was agony!

eurochick Fri 22-Nov-13 10:19:15

I'm sure one poster on the last thread said they had had two and one hurt and one didn't! So who knows.

Pipbin Fri 22-Nov-13 12:38:57

Well AF showed up here which meant a call to the clinic this morning. When I spoke to them on Tuesday they said that they weren't sure if they could do this cycle or not depending on when they egg collection dates fitted in round Xmas. So I'm waiting for a phone call if they can't do it.

chocolocodowninacapulco Fri 22-Nov-13 13:11:24

Hello!

I'll be trying to catch up on the past week's news tonight.

fab so sorry to hear about your dad <hugs>

Am really struggling today as it would've been my due date around now sad

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Fri 22-Nov-13 15:19:08

Choc I'm sorry to hear that (((hugs))) It's ok to feel down about it. I know I'll feel the same in a few months when it gets to mine x

Pip keeping everything crossed that you can start soon. If not make the most of the Christmas party season.

Good news for me, the clinic called and have managed to fit me in the first week in December for my teach. The nurse said I can't have unprotected sex as they will hopefully be able to start treatment on my next AF. I was amazed when I got the call, I did moan to the nurse this morning how I was thinking about complaining about all the waiting. AIBU to ignore their unprotected sex rule?? If somehow I got a miracle BFP there would be no risks as I'm not starting any drugs until after my next AF. I don't get why they are so insistent about it. Is anyone else's clinic the same?

eurochick Fri 22-Nov-13 19:19:20

cups I would ignore those instructions too. WTF would it matter the cycle BEFORE you start? I suspect it would mean a loss of revenue for the clinic though if you were booked in but didn't need it, as by the time you find out it would be too late to get someone else. <cynical>

choc I'm sorry. I found my due date incredibly hard. Bestie took me out for fizzy booze. Love her. I have found all the ttc shiz a lot easier since the date has passed though.

Hatteras Fri 22-Nov-13 20:17:53

Hi everyone,

I was lurking on the last thread, but time I joined you all properly, we're starting our second IVF cycle late Dec/early January.

Bit about me: I'm 39 (don't feel like an oldie, but coming around to the fact that I am a fertility oldie), got pregnant on clomid in 2012 but sadly had a MMC at around 8 weeks. Tests for DH and I both are fine, so we seem to fall into the ambiguous 'unexplained' category. Absolutely no sign of another pregnancy since then with or without clomid and so we started IVF in September this year. The cycle went fairly well (I mean, apart from the fact that we got a BFN..). I didn't have any real adverse reactions to the drugs, and lining/follicles seemed to grow well. 11 eggs were collected, but only one fertilized and resulted in a BFN. Worst part of the cycle for me was the aftermath of the egg collection - no OHSS, but extremely sore and bloated for almost a week.

So, we're starting up again and this time I think we will be doing ICSI. Due to start stimming at the beginning of January, down-regging from Dec 21st.

It's so nice to have this space to read about other people's experiences and know that other people will understand the ups and downs of all this. I seem to range from being ultra positive to utterly despairing in about the space of an hour some days...

vallinnapod Fri 22-Nov-13 20:38:08

Ahhh, new thread very happy to see the back of the last one, please don't take that personally smile

Cups so glad they can fit you in. I was angry for you at your earlier post.

Welcome Hat - I too am 4 days post EC and feeling hideous - very sore and bloated. Completely the opposite of my first EC. I am going again in early Jan too so maybe we will be cycle buddies!

Choco sad I am so sorry. I am dreading March for this very reason. Selfishly it would be great to hear how you cope with it.

Sorry to miss any personals from the lat thread blush

I am feeling better today. Feel more bruised than bloated which is an improvement.

chocolocodowninacapulco Fri 22-Nov-13 22:10:23

Right, time to try and catch up!

brooker how are you holding up?

euro glad to hear your scratch was pretty painless - my first 1 wasn't too painful but this last one hurt like an absolute bastard! Did your teach appointment go ok?

fish sorry your ET was painful, but the 2 blastos sounds great. How are you feeling now emotionally? I think a lot of it is self preservation as otherwise it's just too much to cope with. Are you managing to hold out and not test? Glad you're feeling a bit better.

talulah how are you doing? Did you get a doctor's appointment and early scan referral?

iwant I'm so sorry to hear that your cycle didn't work.

val Sorry to hear you won't be going ahead with transfer just yet, well done for being so patient. What did they decide from the scan about the OHSS? Glad you're feeling a bit better. On the 2 occasions I've had a scratch, it's been on day 21.

nobeer i'm a fan of acupuncture and have always had treatments when stimming to help increase blood flow to the uterus and treatments before and after ET. To me, it's also a form of counselling and relaxation and my acupuncturist is lovely and has become a confidante too. Sorry you're not going to be able to go ahead in December with your FET.

fab thinking of you and admiring your strength.

cups great news that the clinic are going to be able to fit you in smile

tame lovely to see you back smile How the devil are you? Has that pesky AF arrived yet?

bugger hello, sorry you've been freaking out.

maryp your holiday sounds lovely. Happy birthday! Have some cake and wine

rabbit how are you doing now?

miss how are you doing? Have I got it right that it's your scan tomorrow? Look forward to hearing all about it.

optimistic welcome! I don't have any experience with endo, but quite a lot of IVF experience. How are the injections going? It does go quickly once everything starts.

pip any further news on whether you will be able to start treatment?

bikes thinking of you whatever your POAS outcome is tomorrow. Everything crossed for you.

res how are you doing? Have you heard about a donor match yet?

hat welcome! You'll be in safe hands here.

AFM, my emotions seem to be all over the place and have been suffering rage and/or tears at the drop of a hat - I think it must be the progynova. Back to the clinic for a scan tomorrow to see how my lining is thickening up and then will start the clexane and steroids tomorrow. Our donor had a scan on Thursday and apparently the follicles are growing well and EC should be towards the end of next week! I have butterflies thinking about it. Wow it's getting close now, I can't wait to be PUPO again until the menkulling sets in

eurochick Fri 22-Nov-13 22:23:19

Welcome hatt. Sorry to hear about your rough ride. Good luck for the next cycle.

choc the teach appointment was fine. They have us using the same drugs (gonal f and cetrotide) that we used for our second cycle (natural modified, back in June), just for longer. So it was just a reminder really.

You will be PUPO very soon! I can see why your emotions must be all over the place.

Pipbin Fri 22-Nov-13 23:40:35

Well the clinic said that they would call if they couldn't fit me in this cycle. No call was forthcoming..........

eurochick Sat 23-Nov-13 08:49:12

pip it sounds like you will be cycle buddies with me, optimist and nobeer. I'm still waiting for AF here. It should come this weekend.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sat 23-Nov-13 16:23:26

Just coming out of temporary hiding to say:

Fab sorry to read about your Dad. As others have said you are very brave but i can imagine how it feels to have some internal peace if that makes sense

Euro try not to go too loopy on those drucks smile

Choc Good look for ET. Stay in the day and don't look to the next. That should help you stay sane-ish. I should really listen to my own advice really.

Waves to Brooker llw2 Iwant Mary cups Tal and all the other amazing egg buddies.

AFM my anxiety is raised again and i'm currently doing everything I can to put TTCing to the back of my mind. Its CD17 and I haven't ovulated yet. My body is obviously holding off until I chill the fuck out which isn't likely to happen for some time! Vicious circle or what. In other news I move house next weekend so will be without wifi for sometime. I'll pop back as soon as I can but I'm quite happy under my rock of denial at the moment smile

talulahbelle Sat 23-Nov-13 16:34:14

choco I have Drs on Monday and hopefully they will refer me for an early scan. If not I will book in a private one.

I'm still lurking and reading and thinking of you all. Who's next to test?

Missmidden Sat 23-Nov-13 18:23:27

Hi everyone. Just popping on to say my scan today was all good and I am so relieved. I still can't believe my good fortune, so will have another scan in 3 wks or so when I will be 9-10 weeks.

I will keep checking in from time to time but if I don't post it doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you all.

Brooker, Fab, Tame, Pip, Euro, Choc, Cups, Nobeer, Talulah, Tame, Res, Stars, IWant and anyone else out there: thank you so much for your support and I wish you all the luck in the world, it is all deserve a good dose of it.

nobeer Sat 23-Nov-13 22:01:41

That's lovely news Miss. Thanks so much for popping back and updating, it's cheered me up no end!

euro not sure I will be cycle buddies with you, optimistic and pip (welcome back, Pip!). The doctor thinks it makes more sense if I wait for the immunology tests first. But I'll definitely be lurking and cheering you all on.

wishwash Sat 23-Nov-13 22:11:09

Hi everyone. I know I've been in and out for a little while so I'm awfully sorry but it has been a tough time for me, I've been trying to forget about it all as much as I can.

I haven't really been reading properly so ill do my best to catch up with you ladies!

I hope everyone is ok? If anyone has a great memory and can give me highlights it would be hugely appreciated smile

Hello to the new people I haven't met before, here is my history:
Me: 27, PCOS
DP: 30, healthy
IVF #1: 15 eggs, 11 fertilised, 8 to day 5, 1 transfered, 7 frozen- BFN
FET #1 - 2 day 5 frosties transferred - BFN
1 day 5 and 4 day 6 embies in the freezer.

I had my follow up appointment on Tuesday, he has referred me for a hysteroscopy, blood tests and suggested we go for another frozen cycle using gestone injections instead of bum bullets!
The first AF since my BFN AF finally arrived today 37 days later so hopefully the ball will get rolling now!

My turn over, please fill me in, I miss you guys!

eurochick Sat 23-Nov-13 22:32:04

Boo to more waiting nobeer.

Hurrah missm that's great news.

Welcome back wish.

My potted history:
Me, 37
Him, 38
Unexplained
IVF#1 (Jan 13) - natural, 1 egg, 1 embryo, BFP, MC
IVF#2 (June 13) - natural modified, 4 eggs, 2 low quality embryos, chem preg
IVF#3 (Aug 13) - natural, 1 egg, 1embryo, chem preg
Nov 13- scratch

IVF#4 planned for Dec 13. Will be a short protocol with mild stimulation.

It has been a hell of a year.

wishwash Sat 23-Nov-13 22:49:02

Thanks euro, it has been a nasty year. I hope December will set you up for a fantastic 2014 x

vallinnapod Sat 23-Nov-13 23:37:49

Good idea!

Me - 32, PCOS
DH - 37, super sperm wink

IVF#1 (Dec 10) - 16 eggs, 12 fertilise, 2 day 3 embryos transferred, 2 day 5 blasts frozen. BFP, DS born 31 Aug 2011
2 x abandoned FETs (Dec 2012, Jan 2012) - one due to Christmas timing, one due to lining not thickening enough
FET#1 (Feb 13) - SET, BFN
Abandoned FET - incorrect drugs given hmm
FET#2 (Feb 13) - SET, BFP. MMC 8+4 (seen at 9 weeks)
IVF#2, with PGS (Nov 13) - 8 eggs, 4 fertilise, 2 day 3 frozen to batch for PGS and due to lining deteriorating
IVF#3, with PGS planned for Jan 2014

Blimey….bit stressful when I read it back sad

nobeer Sun 24-Nov-13 09:07:21

What's SET and PGS Val?

Me 41 old and mucous membranes not working properly due to SJS.
DP 35 fine
EC July 13 22 eggs, 14 frozen at 3 days due to OHSS.
FET Aug 13 2 frosties transferred but didn't implant
NOW waiting for immunology tests to be done and hopefully another FET asap in new year.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Sun 24-Nov-13 09:21:22

Wish welcome back grin

Missm fab scan news, I'm so happy for you. Please keep letting us know how you get on.

Talulah fingers crossed for a nice early scan.

Bugs good luck with the house move.

Choco I didn't realise you were so close to ET! So exciting! Sounds like your donor is doing well.

Here's my stats

Me 31 (32 in a few weeks eek!)
DH 30
Unexplained (borderline morphology issues)
ICSI #1 July 2013 6 fertilised eggs, 2 day 3 embryos transferred. None left to freeze. BFP miscarriage at 5+6
ICSI #2 planned for end of December, trying short protocol due to poor egg/embryo quality.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Sun 24-Nov-13 09:21:56

SET= single embryo transfer. Not sure about PGS though!

Badhairday76 Sun 24-Nov-13 11:08:16

Hello everybody? Can I please re-join? Nothing was happening at my (rubbish) clinic for ages and I was getting increasingly fed up and upset about everything but I am due to start down-regging in 3 weeks time, with egg collection set for January. This will be my first IVF.

Me, 37, no Fallopian tubes
DP 35 - fine

I have one DS who is 20 months old who we conceived by accident - my miracle!

Since them I had a ruptured ectopic on Christmas Eve last year and lost my left tube. I them had a miscarriage at 5 weeks in March, then a second Ectopic this August where I lost my final tube. It's been an absolute bugger of a year for us and we are still having counselling and trying to come to terms with all the loss.

Anyway, am looking forward to having some cycle buddies!

wishwash Sun 24-Nov-13 11:30:03

Thanks to everyone that's updated me. I do actually remember a lot of it! In a selfish way it's good to see everyone's history as it put things in perspective.

I think what makes it so hard for me is not having a sniff of a BFP without there being any reason for it. It causes such mixed feelings. Do I want something to come up in my blood tests so there's something to fix? Or do I want it to be normal even though it won't give me answers! Argh!

So many of you have had Mc's which is so heart breaking. That again also brings me down to earth. A BFP isn't the end sad. I'm so sorry sad

Sorry I'm having a bit of a down day! Damn you AF! blush

eurochick Sun 24-Nov-13 14:27:17

wish I struggle with being unexplained. It took me a lot to get my head around putting myself through the IVF process without a diagnosis ("we've no idea what's wrong with you, but why don't you take a shedload of drugs and go through minor surgery and we'll see if that helps?"). I'd never seen a BFP before the first IVF cycle. Clearly the IVF process did overcome some unidentified problem. Now I just need to get a sticky one!

bikesaregreat Sun 24-Nov-13 16:12:41

Bollocks - posted on wrong fred. Argh! Sorry if am out of date with some of you!! Will look through properly tonight...

Hi all,

Just back from a wedding - lovely weekend away but missing hearing about how you're all getting on.

cups - definitely complain!! 10 months seems very long - shouldn't matter that it's nhs as once you're in the system, you shouldn't have to keep waiting...keep us posted with what PALS says. And maybe investigate other clinics.

fab - you seem incredibly strong. It's important to have support at this time - hope you're doing okay.

euro - hooray for new fred!

fish - I wondered about acupuncture - maybe one of the main benefits is that it helps you relax? Not sure, but I know lots of folk recommend it.

brooker - love that you're still lurking!! Hi smile

Need to read properly and see how you all are. Looking forward to it!

AFM, I PdOAS on Saturday morning - BFP!!!! Yippeee! I'm still not convinced by it, and we've not told anybody as it's early days etc etc... DH (a doctor) was concerned about some spotting I told him about last week (d'oh!! shouldn't have mentioned it!!) but it seems to have stopped now. Lots of twinges though - argh. Will call my clinic tomorrow and see what we do from here...but this weekend was a good weekend, whatever happens.

talulahbelle Sun 24-Nov-13 17:29:34

bikes <squeeee> I'm so happy for you! Fingers crossed things continue to go well.

nobeer Sun 24-Nov-13 17:38:57

bikes that's brilliant smile

bikesaregreat Sun 24-Nov-13 18:06:17

Thanks! smile Now I am worried about everything else that could go wrong...argh!

eurochick Sun 24-Nov-13 18:10:21

Yay- the first BFP of the new thread. Congratulations! Let's hope it is the first of many. smile

AFM, I think AF is finally here. Having told the nurse at the teach that I always start properly straight away like turning on a tap, the scratch seems to have changed that and I have had my first ever slow start with lots of spotting, making it difficult to know exactly when I started. I will call the clinic tomorrow and I expect they will say to count tomorrow as day 1 as things didn't really get going until the afternoon today. So I'll be stimming from Tuesday I reckon.

BrookerC Sun 24-Nov-13 22:22:59

Evening you lovely lot! Sorry for the absence but self-preservation, licking wounds & all that shizz.

Nice new thread euro. I spent the first few months lurking on the egg buddies threads before I couldn't resist joining <it was Nokkies potty mouth that pulled me in> Where has the year gone?

bikes! Congratulations! What a marvellous start to the thread! Well done for a fantastic bfp - just what we need smile

wish no sniff of a bfp here either sad How the feck does the term unexplained help? It doesn't. Here's to us unexplained lot getting a bfp regardless!

talulah Another grad from here. Marvellous! Good luck with the dr appt tom. Hope you're managing the next stage ok <oh when does the constant worrying end...>

cups glad the clinic finally got you sorted for your next cycle. Unprotected sex? Don't think so - you're trying to get pregnant confused Agree with euro though <also cynical>

choco Wow! EC could be next week -you will be PUPO before we know it! Sorry to hear the drugs are sending your emotions all over the place <hugs>

Welcome hatt smile Good luck with your new cycle. You've come to the right place for advice & support.

val I'm glad to see the back of the last thread too! <no offence ladies> How does your treatment work? Are you having 2 egg collections added together? <I'm a bit confused> At the rate you stim, we could be cycle buddies again! <I'm thinking about early Feb for our next shot>

euro good luck with the stabbing this week. I found gonal-f & cetrotide a piece of piss compared to the DR drugs.

Hi pip Are you cycling this month?

bugs A busy week sorting house move shit out sounds like a marvellous distraction. Hope it goes well & you enjoy your time under that rock grin

nobeer A few tests in Dec, a break over the festive period & an FET in January. All sounds like a good plan to me <although feeling your frustration over the extra waiting>

missm so pleased to hear about your scan. I am green with envy xx

badhair welcome back smile Looks like you could have loads of cycle buddies!

fab thinking of you flowers

Hi to everyone else.

My brief history

Me 40 <wtf - how did that happen?> 1 ovary & tube
DH 38 no issues
Ivf 1 May 2013 - 2 blasts transferred. Bfn <no frosties>
Ivf 2 July 2013 - lab malfunction. All embies lost
Ivf 3 Nov 2013 - 2 blasts transferred. Bfn <+ 1 frostie>

I have my review for my failed cycle the week before Christmas. Ooh, that sounds like something to put me in the Christmas spirit hmm Despite my sarcasm I am glad that me & DH will be able to talk it through over the Christmas break. We are going to Cornwall for the New Year & it will be nice to have a plan in mind before we go & enjoy ourselves.

wishwash Sun 24-Nov-13 22:30:23

Oh bikes that's awesome! The biggest congrats to you!

That's right brooker. We're going to get that bfp!.... I hope... No no we will! <fist punches the air>

Pipbin Sun 24-Nov-13 23:42:27

Hurrah for Bikes!

Sorry for the lack of personal but I'm on my phone.

AFM:
Me 38
Him 40

Me: one blocked and one sluggish tube.
Him: SA so good that they gave him a medal, according to him anyway.

IVF #1 11 eggs taken, 9 mature, 5 fertilized, 3 made it to day 5. 1 put back. OHSS BFN.

Eyes down for round 2.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Mon 25-Nov-13 09:16:09

Bikes that's bloody brilliant news!! Congrats x

I get so pissed over being unexplained too. Even at our review appointment the consultant said it might still happen for us naturally. I can't get my head around the fact that we haven't had a BFP in over 4 years of trying (plus 6 years of very lax contraceptive use!). There has got to be some reason why we can't get pregnant. Especially as we got a BFP on our first ICSI! Sorry for the rant but it makes me crazy thinking about it.

Lifeasafish Mon 25-Nov-13 09:32:50

Morning all,

Congratulations bike that's wonderful news!

I think unexplained is one of life's major cruelties. I did have a huge sense of relief when we discovered the problem. I hope that's not read as being gloaty - I'm just acknowledging that it must be harder.

choc I'm sending you my love. I hope you are feeling a bit better, it is truly awful when grief overtakes you.

fab flowers because you and your family should have them everyday right now. (I hope all is ok, it has sounded very happy and peaceful)

euro I have my pompoms ready for AF - has she arrived so I can shake my toosh? (No twerking here - I'm disgusted by it).

No major personals from me - need to wrestle the cat into a basket in a min for vet trip. If you don't hear from me again I lost the fight with the feline.

My history:
IVF #1: Coasted during stimm period due to OHSS. X14 eggs, 9 fertilised, 5 blast, 1 transferred, BFP then MC @ 7 weeks.

FET #1: 2 frosties transferred, OTD on Wed, but tested early (Thur gone) due to history we are obviously very nervous hence the lack of announcement smile

eurochick Mon 25-Nov-13 11:30:17

Fish am I reading that right...?

How did the cat wrangling go?

Well, AF is sort of here. Having told the nurse at the teach appointment on Thursday that there is never ambiguity about when my period starts as there is no spotting, it just starts in a fairly full on way... (you can guess this) I am now not completely sure when I started. I had a little bit of spotting on Saturday, more spotting and some light bleeding from the afternoon onwards on Sunday and more light bleeding today. This is not typical. The scratch must have messed things up. Normally it's: cramp, ouch, loo visit, find brown blood, have scenes from horror film a few hours later. Anyway, I am booked in for my first scan on Friday and I guess I start stabbing tomorrow, counting today as official day 1.

Badhairday76 Mon 25-Nov-13 11:53:33

Hello everybody? Can I please re-join? Nothing was happening at my (rubbish) clinic for ages and I was getting increasingly fed up and upset about everything but I am due to start down-regging in 3 weeks time, with egg collection set for January. This will be my first IVF.

Me, 37, no Fallopian tubes
DP 35 - fine

I have one DS who is 20 months old who we conceived by accident - my miracle!

Since them I had a ruptured ectopic on Christmas Eve last year and lost my left tube. I them had a miscarriage at 5 weeks in March, then a second Ectopic this August where I lost my final tube. It's been an absolute bugger of a year for us and we are still having counselling and trying to come to terms with all the loss.

Anyway, am looking forward to having some cycle buddies!

Badhairday76 Mon 25-Nov-13 12:03:49

Sorry everybody - did not mean to re-post this. My phone is playing up. Huge congrats to you, Bikes - wonderful news. It really cheers me up when somebody gets a BFP on here (more so than when my pals announce their pregnancies - does that make me evil?) I completely sympathise with those of you who are classed as 'unexplained'. Although I've done a huge amount of feeling sorry for myself this year, I am taking comfort from the fact that I know exactly WHY I can't conceive naturally anymore and hoping that this makes me a relatively straightforward patient. I do hate the way that clinics go on about age though. I find it really insensitive. My clinic also stamps 'Subfertile' in Red ink on all of my blood test requests which I then have to take to the blood clinic. They are so disorganised it drives me crazy as well. Sorry for the lack of personals - I need to catch up on all the news. X

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Mon 25-Nov-13 12:11:20

Wow Fish! Is that a sly BFP announcement???

Euro sounds very strange. Yay to starting stabbing though smile

Bad not long until you start then. I'm hoping to start short protocol in about 4 weeks so we will be sort of cycle buddies. My clinic does the same with putting sub fertility all over everything. Makes me feel awful every time I see it hmm

vallinnapod Mon 25-Nov-13 13:33:43

Woohooo Bikes!! Congrats grin

Brooker huge hugs. It's a horrible time. Forgive as I can't remember but do you have any frosties? I hadn't realised you had had that trauma with your second IVF. How angrysad

Euro - Good luck!

Fingers crossed fish

Sorry for my confusing history. SET = Single Embryo Transfer, PGS = Pre-implantation Genetic Screening (the biopsy the embryo to test for the 3 trisomy disorder plus several other Chromosomal defects). I am really umming and ahhing about the PGS. And whether we just go for it and have them both put back in Jan as an FET.

Lifeasafish Mon 25-Nov-13 13:58:17

Well, I've had 2 definite lines (not faint but not as dark as control line). But I feel that on OTD that may have disappeared so no announcement yet (hmm).

Self-preservation I guess. Its why I've not been round much. Only 2 days to wait so I'll get a clear blue digi for Wed and fill you in.

euro personally I would have POAS to be sure, just in case... But BFN outside of treatment has never bothered me for some reason. So you may wish to wait and see what happens?

Badhairday76 Mon 25-Nov-13 14:09:06

Woo hoo, Fish - a line is a line, as they say. I am excited for you! Xxx

tametortie Mon 25-Nov-13 20:05:19

You left me sad

I hope you are all ok. I'm trying to catch up on my new I phone which is a fucking mare!

Quick update from me...af came. It took until a trip to clinic and then a dildo cam turned into a scene from Sweeney Todd but they prodded the bitch out, that's all that matters blush now have a baseline scan this Thursday, please god, let it be ok....

Let me catch up and see what's occurring...

tametortie Mon 25-Nov-13 20:07:32

euro it was me that said scratch didn't hurt this time. 'Twas murder last time but I hardly felt it this time!

tametortie Mon 25-Nov-13 20:11:06

fish fingers crossed my love. Have faith, stay calm and let's hope for a fabulous outcome. Xxxx

tametortie Mon 25-Nov-13 20:12:05

wish hello my lovely xxx whereabouts are you in treatment? I can't see. I'm DR for my 4th cycle.

tametortie Mon 25-Nov-13 20:12:35

Sorry for cluster posts.....

tametortie Mon 25-Nov-13 20:14:11

brooker how are you feeling since the bfn? I hope you are ok xxx unexplained is horrid. Unfortunately me and dh are shit from all angles so we are less unexplained, more too much shit to sort grin

vallinnapod Mon 25-Nov-13 20:14:37

LOL tame it's the way to do it grin

Bunnygirlie Mon 25-Nov-13 21:29:54

<creeps in nervously>

Hello, any room for a newbie?

BrookerC Mon 25-Nov-13 22:36:13

Ooh fish <eyes 2 lines beadily> sending some massive sticky vibes your way x
val I have one measly frostie <I know it only takes one but it will be a fecking miracle if it thaws & sticks>
tame had you lost us? I have missed your cluster posts wink
Too much blood bath chat on here today ladies grin

nobeer Mon 25-Nov-13 22:44:21

Welcome bunny, there certainly is. The more the merrier.

Val thanks, they've offered PGS for us too (feel quite chuffed I know what it means now!). I feel a bit weird about it, but we're going to do immunity tests too first so I'll do my worrying about one thing at a time thing and not look too far into the future!

Tame Sorry! But glad you found us!

wishwash Mon 25-Nov-13 23:35:44

Hello tame my gorgeous! I'm so glad to see you are back! You seem fresh again smile

I'm am currently between cycles. After the BFN from the FET my doc wants to do blood tests (immune and blood clotting) then maybe a hysteroscopy if they come back ok.

My GP who used to be a gynae has told me he doesn't think we'll ever find out why the ivf isn't working so I'm feeling totally flat this evening and slightly disheartened. I'm not sure if he means he believes it'll never work? Or whether I just need to keep trying. [hmph]

fish this is a secret squeeze <squuuueeeeze> I hope this is it for you x

wishwash Mon 25-Nov-13 23:38:54

Hi bunnygirlie! Of course there's room for you but the question is.... Do you have room for us? We are a troublesome group ya know wink

What's your back ground sweetness? x

WannabeMaryPoppins Tue 26-Nov-13 07:55:50

Morning All,
just realised that I had been posting on the old fred what a fecking numpty
AF rocked up on Friday so am popping progynova and have a scan booked in for Friday. Reckon FET should be in the 2nd week of December

Sorry for lack of personals, but am on my phone. Will catch up later <hugs>

Bunnygirlie Tue 26-Nov-13 08:25:49

Thanks ladies smile my stats...

Me 33 - PCO, endo. DH 40 - low sperm count. TTC 18months this week sad Had lap and hyst in oct (private to speed things up, no new kitchen for me next year) next stop ICSI town!
Drugs arrived last week and freaked out a tad. Awaiting AF this week but will miss December due to damn christmas grrrrrrrr lol.

seamermaid Tue 26-Nov-13 11:27:27

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me jumping on and asking a question. I should be doing my 1st ivf cycle in Dec.
I wanted to know if Long Protocol IVFs always start on Day 21. This is what I have read online and in books. Can anyone advise?

eurochick Tue 26-Nov-13 12:22:14

Welcome bunny and sea (one of you I know from another thread and one I don't). The more the merrier! May your stay in egg buddy land be short.

wish that's not terribly helpful, is it?

wannabe I'll be a couple of days behind you. AF sort of started Sunday, so Monday was offical day 1 and I will be starting the drugs tonight.

WannabeMaryPoppins Tue 26-Nov-13 12:55:15

We're going to be egg buddies euro! grin or cycle sisters wink

Fabuluce Tue 26-Nov-13 15:22:57

Welcome Bunny and Sea smile

Sea, I did LP for both my rounds of IVF and for both I was on microgynon until the date I was given to start downregging which was to fit in with the clinic's timing.

Nobeer/Wish, I totally understand the unexplained thing - we were unexplained until I did the auto-immune tests - they make sense and whilst expensive do at least give you a sense of reasoning behind it all. The not knowing leaves you feeling so helpless and out of control doesn't it.

Fish - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you lovely x

A re-cap on my IVF journey:

Me: 41, auto-immune issues - high NK cells, MTHFR gene mutation and extremely high ANAs
DH: ain't muffin wrong with his bad boys
IVF 1: Jan 2013, BFP, MMC at 8 weeks, ERPC at 10 weeks
IVF 2: July 2013, BFN
IVF 3: Due Nov 2013, postponed

I just wanted to let you lovely ladies know that my wonderful Dad passed away yesterday evening. It was quick, peaceful and dignified which is as much as anyone could hope for plus my sister, Mum and I were there with him at the end. We have a Dad-shaped hole in our lives obviously but he was 86, had a long, successful, happy life with a wife of 60 years, 5 children and 11 grandchildren who all adored him as much as he adored us so he had had a good innings. We will miss him terribly. Thank you so much for your support both on and off the thread - it really is greatly appreciated by me.

xx

eurochick Tue 26-Nov-13 16:00:12

Fab I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but that sounds like the perfect ending. <hugs>

Fabuluce Tue 26-Nov-13 16:18:48

Yes euro, in the grand scheme of things it was a pretty good way of going. I have limited emoticons in my phone so we'll just have to do with a wry smile smile

BrookerC Tue 26-Nov-13 17:21:34

Fabbie I'm so sorry to hear your news. You sound remarkably composed & at peace. Sending you & your family lots of love xx

nobeer Tue 26-Nov-13 17:53:36

Fab so sorry my love, but really pleased you were able to be with him at the end, and that he got to go home. It must have made things much nicer for you all. Sending you and your family lots of love, you sound like a lovely family and you'll make it through this, and you'll always have lots of lovely memories.

WannabeMaryPoppins Tue 26-Nov-13 18:38:42

Fab thinking of you at this extremely sad time. Your Dad sounds like an amazing man. [hugs]

Bunnygirlie Tue 26-Nov-13 19:37:08

So sorry to hear of your loss fab flowers

Bunnygirlie Tue 26-Nov-13 19:37:57

Thank you for the welcomes, is anybody here having or had ICSI?

tametortie Tue 26-Nov-13 20:47:31

fab I'm so sorry my love xxxxx

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Tue 26-Nov-13 21:30:42

Fab I'm so so sorry. It's really lovely to hear how your dad passed away in peace with his family around him. Lots of love to you and your family x

Bunny and Sea welcome!

Sea I have done long protocol. I started on day 21. I think it depends on your clinic. Mine starts everyone on day 21 and they juggle it all by making some people down reg for an extra week. Other clinics seem to use the pill to control it all.

Bunny I've had one round of ICSI so far. We are unexplained, my DH had borderline morphology issues with one SA. Other samples have been fine. Have you got any questions about ICSI? I'll be happy to help if I know the answers

Badhairday76 Tue 26-Nov-13 21:40:14

I'm sorry too, Fab. Losing a parent is always so difficult. My Dad died 8 years ago and I think of him every day. Lots of wonderful memories. Am sending big virtual hugs to you and your family xxxx

chocolocodowninacapulco Tue 26-Nov-13 22:58:27

Fab I'm so, so sorry to hear about your Dad, he sounds like he was a wonderful man. <hugs> xx

chocolocodowninacapulco Tue 26-Nov-13 23:14:10

bikes huge congrats on the BFP grin

euro first drugs go ok tonight? What are you taking?

maryp you're my progynova buddy - have you had any side effects?

fish loads of luck for your digi tomorrow

wish good to see you are going to have some tests and investigations. You may find that even if the results are negative he will still prescribe you various things just to be sure.

miss that's great news about your scan

Welcome to sea and bunny

Hello to talulah nobeer badhair cups brooker val tame and pip. Thanks to everyone for your kind words when I was having my wobble on Friday - we had a lovely, busy weekend away and I am back to 'normal' again now. In other news, our donor is having EC tomorrow!smile Beyond excited, but also feeling a little nervous.

BeetleBeetle Wed 27-Nov-13 06:23:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lifeasafish Wed 27-Nov-13 07:18:29

Fab I am so sorry to hear that your dad has died, but I am overjoyed for you and the family that he had such a lovely passing. I'm sure you are keeping each other safe and close. Best wishes to your mum, it will be especially hard for her I'm sure.

beetle we cycled together. I just haven't got the words to express how terribly sad I am for all of you. I cannot comprehend what you must've going through and I am just so angry and sorry that life has been this cruel.
You are all in my thoughts and I have already lit 4 candles for the beetle family.
Be kind to yourselves and take care. You sound so strong.

AFM - thank you for your wishes - it's slowly sinking in but I'll announce tm. It's not the time.

Lifeasafish Wed 27-Nov-13 07:21:14

beetle I see you are finding writing helping - please feel free to PM me if you need too.

Fish.x

nobeer Wed 27-Nov-13 07:24:26

beetle I'm so sorry, sending you and DH lots of love. I was wondering how you were getting on just recently so I'm so sad to hear your news. Take your time processing this, and come back and join us when you're ready. Sending you a hug.

Badhairday76 Wed 27-Nov-13 09:34:19

Beetle - am SO sorry to hear your awful news. Life is so cruel sometimes. X

eurochick Wed 27-Nov-13 11:00:49

beetle I am so, so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. <Big hugs> You can post here in whichever way works for you.

I fully understand your wish to push ahead with FET. All I wanted after my mc was to be pregnant again, and we cycled in June after I mc'd in March. I have to say though, that with hindsight, I don't think I fully felt like myself again for about 6 months after the mc. I didn't realise at the time how much it physically (and mentally) knocked me for six.

choc yep, first injection was last night. 150 units of gonal f. I'll be adding in cetrotide later, so the same 2 drugs I used in my "natural modified" cycle back in the summer. I'm just starting earlier this time.

Hurrah for donor EC! So transfer in a few days then?

Fab how are you doing today?

This thread is such an emotional rollercoaster with incredible highs and lows.

twinklestar2 Wed 27-Nov-13 11:35:29

Beetle I'm delurking to say how terribly sorry I am to hear your news XX

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Wed 27-Nov-13 12:58:09

Also de-lurking to pass on my condolances to Fab and Beetle.

Life is incredibly cruel and sometimes its so so unfair. Take care of yourselves and your loved one.

Euro thats the same dose & drug i'll start on 27th December, please do let me know of any side effects to expect so I know what i'm letting myself in for.

Fish we'll be here tomorrow when you're ready to update.

AFM I'm feeling really down and wondering if i've got mild depression. I've never been diagnosed before but I don't have an ounce of happiness inside me at the moment. We're moving house next week and my Mums partner is terminilly ill. My new boss is a TOTAL slave driver and quite full on. All that and waiting to start IVF! Its no wonder I'm a miserable cow smile I know that I'm in the hardest bit of all this, the wait. That itself should come with a health warning.

<Leaves hot chocolate & cookies>

nobeer Wed 27-Nov-13 13:05:08

Bugger depression, or you could just be going through an incredibly stressful and difficult time, and considering what you're going through maybe it's hard to find happiness. I was a complete mess just a month ago before we moved, I really don't think DP knew what hit him when he came home from work and I burst into tears because the stress was just so much. You've got at least 3 of the top ten most stressful things (moving house, serious illness of a parent, and I'm sure TTC/IVF MUST be in the top 10!) on your plate at the moment, give yourself a break!

eurochick Wed 27-Nov-13 13:16:23

bugs it's quite possible. You know I have been talking about feeling better the past few weeks? i think I might have been mildly depressed throughout most of ttc, and I'm just emerging from that now. It's so incredibly difficult, not to be able to have what you want most in the world.

I can already tell you it's fine - it's the same as I was on back in June and other than menkulling about when was best for egg collection (as a couple of follies grew much more quickly than the others) I found it easy.

BeetleBeetle Wed 27-Nov-13 13:20:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrookerC Wed 27-Nov-13 17:20:08

Beetle I am gutted to hear of your loss. After going through so much, to then be hit with a case of bad luck is incredibly cruel & unjust. Sending huge hugs xx

BrookerC Wed 27-Nov-13 17:36:19

bugs this battle against infertility (I chose that word deliberately) tests the strongest of characters. It has the ability to suck the very life out of you & I wouldn't mind betting that every single person on here has experienced the feelings you are describing at one stage or another. Having all the other issues that life is throwing at you at the minute is definitely enough to tip you over the edge. Go easy on yourself. Spoil yourself & DH rotten as often as you can. Use us to sound off. We are all here for one another no matter what. Hugs x

Fabuluce Wed 27-Nov-13 18:32:29

Evening everyone and thank you so much for your kind words. We are doing ok here and certainly being up here with my sisters and Mum and not having had to worry about work and hurtling up and down the motorway every weekend and all that bollocks has really helped with my mental attitude throughout it all.

Beetle, I'm so so terribly sorry to hear your sad news. How utterly devastating it must have been and I can completely understand your need to start thinking about it all again but I would say do please try to give your mind and body some time to heal and grieve after this. Easy for me to say of course as I haven't been through what you have but do have a think about it. As everyone has said, you need to be kind to you and Mr Beetle now.

Bugs, have you had any counselling or tried hypnotherapy at all? Zita West has resident hypnotherapists who are specialise in our particular problems and even if you can't get up to London (I'm afraid I can't remember where you are based) it's worth a t'interweb exploration as it can really help to find a way forward and remember how to be positive again. I've done it a few times over the years and have had nothing but positive experiences. The first time I went I was in a pretty deep dark place and the hypnotherapist said that for the first session his biggest priority was for me to walk out with a little bit of happiness and a good night's sleep and I felt blissful after what felt like 10mins under but was ,according to my watch, 45 mins! Since then, on the odd occasion that I feel like I'm drifting there again, I go for another couple of sessions and it's amazing how it can just turn the corner and help change my attitude again and find a new way of dealing with things. I would definitely think it is worth it, despite it being obvious woo territory! I naively thought (as I'm sure we all did) that this ivf journey couldn't be as bad as people go on about but of course it is and coupled with the rest of life being an obstinate bastard it's not surprising we feel mangled by it all. You don't have to do it alone lovely smile

Chocs - excited for you lovely smile

Euro - well done on starting again - good luck with this cycle!

chocolocodowninacapulco Wed 27-Nov-13 19:42:50

beetle honey, so sorry again to hear your devastating news, I really can't imagine how you're coping - you're an inspiration Xx

chocolocodowninacapulco Wed 27-Nov-13 19:53:20

fab thinking of you and glad you're able to spend some quality time with your family. <hugs>

bugs sorry you're feeling low- TTC and IVF are a tough old business and there is no right or wrong way to deal with it all, I think it's just a matter of what works for the individual to try and rationalise it all. Acupuncture is what helps me to talk things through and to try and find some inner peace and relaxation. It's a horrible thing when you just don't feel right in yourself

Glad the drugs are going ok euro

AFM, our donor had 13 eggs collected today grin and now waiting for the dreaded fertilisation call tomorrow morning -eeek!

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Wed 27-Nov-13 20:45:41

Beetle I'm heartbroken to hear your news. I'm so very sorry. You sound so strong. Thinking of you, your DH and your little twins xxx

Bugs ive been so depressed at times during ttc and had such dark thoughts. You are not alone! It sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment. I hope you start to feel better soon. I wish I knew some way to feel better. The only thing that helps me is to keep busy so the time passes quickly while waiting for appointments and treatments.

Choco wow 13 eggs is fantastic. Fingers crossed for tomorrow x

Sorry if I've missed anything, I've only skimmed through. Hopefully catch up with everyone on Friday when I've got a day off smile

vallinnapod Wed 27-Nov-13 21:02:50

Fab thinking of you at this time. It sounds as peaceful and as close as it could have been.

Bunny we had ICSI with our IVF this time and will in Jan but not for sperm issues but because we are having PGS and you need a clearer genetic sample - with IVF you get stragglers hanging on to the outside of a fertilised egg.

Choco -fabulous donation news!

Beetle - I am so, so sorry to hear about your twins. I too cycled as soon as I could after my miscarriage. With hindsight I think it made the cycle much tougher physically and emotionally. Not sure I could have waited though. My thought are with you and your DH.

BrookerC Wed 27-Nov-13 22:33:30

Woo hoo choco! Fabulous thirteen! Looking forward to your update tomorrow smile

Lifeasafish Thu 28-Nov-13 08:51:53

Hey all,

brooker I agree. I don't know how I have survived the past few years to be honest. But I was talking with a lady who had a stillbirth 35 years ago and she said the same thing in a questioning way - how did I get through that? We under estimate our strength I think.

bugs you need to accept that you have a mountain of stressful situations at present, it made things easier for me when I accepted that as it stopped me from striving to be strong rather than dealing with the issues. flowers

I do think acupuncture has calmed me down. I am still uncharacteristically zen. I am also reading a book called 'fuck it therapy - the profane way to profound happiness' it's helping.

beetle I am very glad you got answers it is better than to not know I guess, but no less traumatic. Re starting again, whatever is right for you. flowers

AFM: well, I guess the BFP is still sinking in. I'm waiting to see what happens. I am 4 weeks, scan is on the 12th. But I cannot help but feel that I gave positive tests while my baby had died last time. I think I'm in denial as it all feels strange and I don't give it much thought. I think I'm just waiting sad

I an zen though, so I'm not complaining! No symptoms that I can tell, few waves of nausea which has calmed down. Though I did cry yesterday at the thought of watching lesmis (2012) hmm

You know the bit where the priest forgives Jackman for stealing the silver? I wasn't even watching the fucker I just thought about it.
And now I've tears streaming down my face again hmm

eurochick Thu 28-Nov-13 09:59:38

How was the fertilisation call, choc?

fish that sounds really hard. I think I will be exactly the same if I ever see another BFP.

beetle I'm glad you got some answers. I hope these will help you come to terms with your loss, and grieve.

AFM, I can feel my ovaries doing something. I normally feel a few twinges this early on but these are stronger than usual. First scan tomorrow. Hopefully something will be happening, but it's only day 5 so I'm not expecting to see much.

Lifeasafish Thu 28-Nov-13 10:22:53

euro thats's a great sign - I don't think 5 days is that early, the ovaries have awoken! Are you eating lots of protein? Though I do wonder if I am over fixated on the protein...

choco apologises I forgot to wish you well on the eggs - that's a good haul and I look forward to hearing the number of embryos as well.

And me - infertility takes the pleasure out of ttc/conception/pregnancy I reckon. I probably over think a lot of this but I am enjoying feeling detached while I have a huge sense of guilt that I am not properly celebrating these frostie(s) that are currently with me. Every hour or so I suddenly think - I'm pregnant and it feels like I've just found out. Maybe I'm in shock.

I hope I'm not upsetting anyone but being frank - I imagine most of us do/will feel this way especially after a mc. I think I'll stop posting about this as its not appropriate really.

I think as always - why couldn't I just have had a drunken shag. Ten mins, all it should have taken is ten minutes hmm

Lifeasafish Thu 28-Nov-13 10:31:05

How does anyone ever read and understand my posts! I do apologise for not reviewing them for typos. Can I assure you that I am fairly well educated and generally can spell (though I admit I am not hot on grammar).

Its the bastard touchscreen and predictive apple thingy that leads 'by being frank' to become 'but being frank' which has a completely different insinuation.

I need to stop being lazy and read my shit back blush

P.s I read this slowly word for word and thingy is completely acceptable to me.

Lifeasafish Thu 28-Nov-13 10:32:21

And apologises? Wtf -apologies.

chocolocodowninacapulco Thu 28-Nov-13 11:27:26

Hi all,

Congratulations fish. It's not at all inappropriate to post here about your hopes and fears. We're all in this together. Having had 2 early losses I completely understand. Keep sharing on here.

euro glad you feel that things are happening, fingers crossed for scan tomorrow.

AFM, not sure how to feel about the fertilisation call.. out of the 13 eggs collected yesterday, 7 were mature and injected and 4 have fertilised. The embryologist said that the number of immature eggs collected was a little higher than expected, but she's happy enough with the 4. We won't get a phone call

eurochick Thu 28-Nov-13 11:49:11

I agree with choc. Quite a few of us have had losses, so we understand. I tried to move to the AN boards when I was PG but didn't really feel ready, so the old conception threads were like a safety blanket for me. Post as much as you need to.

Choc, it's a shame about the immature eggs. It sounds like they didn't time EC optimally. 4 is a good number though. When are you expecting ET?

WannabeMaryPoppins Thu 28-Nov-13 11:49:34

beetle I think we only me briefly before, but your news really hit me. I am so so sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you are getting answers but why does life have to be so unfair? Thinking of you and Mr Beetle.

WannabeMaryPoppins Thu 28-Nov-13 11:56:47

Fish Congratulations! It looks like we are getting this fred off to a really good start. And to be honest, I find it really helpful reading about how other people are feeling. It must be nerve racking have no idea if thats how you spell it but hope that you can start enjoying being up the duff grin
choc I have been taking the progynova since saturday now and should be taking 3 today. I have been getting headaches and feeling really really tired, but that doesn't necessarily have to been down to the pills. What about you? That sounds really good about the eggs. Theres nothing stopping us now!
euro how are you doing? Sounds like things are happening, which is just what we want!
Waves to stars, bugs, brooker, fab, val bunny and everyone else.

All good here, just waiting for my scan tomorrow. Am pigging out on protein so lets see if its doing the trick. I'm sure that on the last thread someone posted a load of foods that are meant to help thicken the lining of the womb, but I can't for the life of me find it. Can someone prod me in the right direction?

WannabeMaryPoppins Thu 28-Nov-13 11:59:36

fish God, I hope that didn't sound flippant. It certainly wasn't meant to be or play down your fears at all.

eurochick Thu 28-Nov-13 12:05:43

I've upped my protein too. I'm sceptical as to how it can make much difference as the eggs have been there since birth, but I'll give anything a go.

wannabe I'm doing fine. My first scan is tomorrow, so we will see if anything is growing yet.

Lifeasafish Thu 28-Nov-13 12:14:59

V.quick post

euro it matures them. Remember when I was coasting? The consultant said extra protein would keep some of my eggs safe (I had 48 follicles @ 20mm at highest, due to coasting most dissolved/destroyed 14 eggs saved). I do believe it kept them - those eggs were a week over when they should have been collected!

choco that's a great number. Sounds like timing may have been a bit off but 4 embryos is a good number, so celebrate that.

mary you are not being flippant, I guess I need to write it down. I doubt I will ever feel fully secure confident with any pregnancy or birth. That's the cards we have been dealthmm.

Thank you for your understanding. I haven't even looked at the AN threads not did I last time. I really feel like I'm waiting...

chocolocodowninacapulco Thu 28-Nov-13 15:16:19

Sorry, posted before I finished. I won't get a call tomorrow as they don't look at them on day 2. They will ring on Sat morning to let us know if transfer is Sat morning or Monday. When you say about timing euro and fish, do you mean the did EC too early. FFS, was really hoping for me. Really scared now.

chocolocodowninacapulco Thu 28-Nov-13 15:31:51

The=they
Me= more

Lifeasafish Thu 28-Nov-13 15:55:11

choc sounds like it was a little early to me BUT why are you worried? 4 fertilised! If euro is thinking the same as me, the consideration is that out of 14 up to 10 were too immature to fertilise, hence the timing comment.

There isn't anything to worry about now so <hugs> I'm sorry if I worried you and flowers because it must be even more worrying when you are not in full control.

Was it not you who said you heard a woman had 1 egg on EC and all went perfectly well? If not someone did recently.

4 embryos (no longer eggs but now embryos) is brilliant. Have a drink to that tonight.

I won't patronise you with IOTO.

eurochick Thu 28-Nov-13 16:26:29

I didn't mean to worry you choc! I agree with fish - 4 embies is great and far more than many people have at this point.

I was just commenting that the number of immature eggs seemed a bit high. Maybe (like me on my natural modified cycle) your donor had follies all growing at very different rates making it difficult to time EC right.

chocolocodowninacapulco Thu 28-Nov-13 19:36:52

Hello lovely ladies

euro and fish please don't worry, you haven't upset me or anything smile. I guess the thing is it's just such unfamiliar territory for me as I have always started with low numbers of eggs and having more to start with and then them seeming to drop off quite rapidly is what I was struggling with a bit. fish I only had 1 egg collected on my 2nd cycle and got a BFP.

maryp I don't think I have had any side effects from the progynova really this time, last time I kept going dizzy. I'm also on clexane, prednisolone, aspirin and cyclogest(gestone to be added at transfer), so who knows what's causing what! I am doing protein for my lining. I like milk luckily and have tried to drink a pint a day, Brazil nuts too and pumpkin and sunflower seeds. I can't remember who posted that list either ...

You ladies are all great <soppy>

bikesaregreat Thu 28-Nov-13 20:33:36

Hi ladies,

Thanks for the congrats - still not convinced, but will just keep fingers (and legs) crossed.

Sorry for not posting sooner - was away with work for a few days! Hope you're all well - still lurking and wishing us all good luck (but not babydust. That stuff makes me sneeze.)
xx

vallinnapod Thu 28-Nov-13 20:52:47

10 mins Fish….what a stud Mr Fish must be winkgrin

Euro I agree…lots of people show progress at 5 days.

Choc I do sympathise. I was incredibly disappointed with my numbers this time round. As much as I want to scream when told it really does only take one.

I may result to lurking between now and Jan. Having a scratch on Jan 3 and start on 7 Jan (the joy of having to take the pill means at least I know when I will get going!)

Pipbin Thu 28-Nov-13 21:15:12

Beetle I just don't have the words {{hugs}}

I spoke to the clinic today who confirmed that they can fit me in this cycle! Injections should start on Friday 13th!

tametortie Thu 28-Nov-13 21:16:53

Horrible day sad

beetle I have just seen your news. I am so so sorry. What a terrible thing to happen sad xxxxx

My cycle has been cancelled. After 4 weeks of buserilin I have not down regulated. Scuse me while I put my head in the fucking oven sad

fish congrats on the bfp but please stay as long as you need to. It's about support innit?

bugger have you tried hypnotherapy CDs? They can help your mood. I've heard crystal meth is very good too.

choco congrats on the eggies xxxx

tametortie Thu 28-Nov-13 21:19:39

choco ooops I missed your little fret- you have exactly the same numbers as my positive cycle. It's all about the numbers. And where there are embies, there is a chance. Chin up, IOTO xxxxxxx

eurochick Thu 28-Nov-13 21:26:37

Oh fucking hell, tame. Did they give you any idea why?

chocolocodowninacapulco Thu 28-Nov-13 21:27:03

Thanks lovely tame. I guess i was just hoping for more from the donor eggs. So sorry to hear your cycle has been cancelled. The 1st cycle I ever did, I didn't down reg. What happens now? <hugs>

Thanks val

Good news pip

Waves to bikes. Nice to have you back.

Hello to all you lovely lurkers grin

tametortie Thu 28-Nov-13 21:40:15

I can just start again next cycle but think I may ask for a review? Don't think they will change much but I'm proper gutted. Out of 4 cycles I have failed to down reg on 3. Not a coincidence is it?

I can tell I haven't down regged though. I have fairy snot in abundance. What did they recommend to you choco?

What fucking next hmm I'm totally bummed out. After 3 months of gluten free, after today's news I ate a whole box if Viennese whirls. Now I feel dirty. And drank wine!!!

Pipbin Thu 28-Nov-13 21:41:15

Oh no Tame, how did that happen? What step next?
Oh, and don't bother putting your head in the oven. They changed the makeup of the gas and it's won't kill you like that any more. You'd just end up with a high gas bill and a headache.

tametortie Thu 28-Nov-13 21:44:01

No idea why euro. I look down regged- thin lining, tiny ovaries- but my estradiol is rising so there must be a cyst or something. I should ovulate in 6-7 days they think so stimulation would just send the whole thing into chaos. I could have kept going with DR with an aim for transfer of a 2/3 day embryo on Christmas Eve. But that isn't what we wanted from this cycle and I'm not ruining DDs Christmas x

tametortie Thu 28-Nov-13 21:45:33

<shuts head in oven door over and over>

Will this work pip?? grin

Pipbin Thu 28-Nov-13 21:50:41

That'll do it Tame

tametortie Thu 28-Nov-13 21:52:55

<sticks pins in eyes and smacks self in face with a traffic cone>

This hurts more, I like it!!!

Pipbin Thu 28-Nov-13 21:55:42

Now that is just going to make you sad and grumpy Tame. Viennese Whirls and wine will make you feel better.

tametortie Thu 28-Nov-13 22:00:55

Viennese whirls are dirty! Good but dirty.

I've come to bed to watch masters of sex- hopefully get some tips....!!!

Night all x

Pipbin Thu 28-Nov-13 22:03:37

Tasty tasty dirt.

Bunnygirlie Thu 28-Nov-13 22:20:30

Beetle your news is so sad, life can be so unfair flowers

Hey pip good to see you over here smile

Oh tame that's rotten,enjoy the wine and dirt

cupcake vallinna thank you for the offer of ICSI advice, I may take you up on that.

I have read talk of a scratch, what is it? (I know so little)

eurochick Thu 28-Nov-13 22:54:26

Grrrr, how annoying. Can you talk to them about short protocol so you can skip the whole downregging part?

Mmmm, dirty food. And wine.

Bunny the scratch is something a lot of clinics are offering to people with failed implantation cycles behind them. On the cycle before you do the IVF, they literally scratch the inside of your womb. No one seems to be quite sure why it works but it might have something to do with the inflammatory response to the trauma and the kind of cells that produces within the womb. I had it done last week. It wasn't too bad.

Pipbin Thu 28-Nov-13 23:25:11

So last cycle we ended up having ICSI rather than straight IVF. It seems that DHs chaps were not up to the job as much as they had been in the past.
When he had his last SA his results were so good that the consult said to his student (they always seem to have a student) that this was an unusually high result, just the sort of thing he said that is rarely seen.
Then when it came to the actual 'money shot' they were just not up to it.

Any advice ladies? Anything that might up the count?

vallinnapod Fri 29-Nov-13 01:57:38

PMSL tame - room in your oven for two? Gotta love the gallows humour that IVF brings.

interested to hear you went gluten free. Do you have an intolerance or was it a get-fit-for-IVF thing?

Well I am awake at stupid o'clock following an argument with DH about booze and drinking in the run up to jan cycle. He just can't do moderation. He genuinely said to me moderation was 6 or 7 glasses A NIGHT! Maybe it was in reference to the Christmas period but really....it upset me on so many levels. It's less than two months until he spunks in a cup again. Just because his swimmers were good this time sad

vallinnapod Fri 29-Nov-13 02:00:20

pip if your DH's sample went from abnormally high to ICSI worthy was it discussed that maybe there had been an error with the sample testing? I know that you can do plenty to try to improve quality (and that lots of things decrease quality) but your story seems quite extreme. Not that there is anything normal when it comes to this process.

tametortie Fri 29-Nov-13 08:07:56

Morning all.

I have booked today off work at short notice because I felt so wretched yesterday. I have been awake lots all night, thinking things over.

Yesterday was only a small set back, we can cycle again in the new year but I guess I feel upset for all of the bad stuff that happens. Like it accumulates over time?? Then a small set back is the one that cracks you. FFS, I've been at work when my period has come after a cycle and when a miscarriage has started and I have just carried on working. But yesterday was horrid. I felt like I was being crushed by sad news. And all I had been told was that my estradiol was a little too high so probably wouldn't down regulate in time for Christmas break?? I need some wise words to shed light on this. I can't make sense of why this has hurt me sooo much sad

Xxxx

Lifeasafish Fri 29-Nov-13 08:30:48

tame walks in an holds tames hand.
You were geared up and ready for a cycle. You haven't been thinking about it for a few weeks you have been 'in training' for over 3 months. The build up is immense, everything is in place (work, child/care, holiday etc), then your body doesn't play ball. In fact, you've probably already worked out possible test date, due date, how that will work with maternity, how many paycheques, how old dd1 would be, how it would work with school. Will it work/won't it?

And then suddenly... BANG without warning its all dragged away and you are left with that huge void as infertility has already sucked in every part of your being.

After such a huge build up you wouldn't be human if you wasn't crushed and if old wounds didn't suddenly bleed again.

Do you feel that you have spent months keeping yourself under emotional control?

I was supposed to have a FET in Oct but I had to have another mock transfer and hadn't realised this would cancel the FET. When I found out I cried for 4 days straight. For my lost baby, lost fertility, 3years of frustration and bitterness, my useless body, for a life constantly on hold and for the injustice of it all - I shouldn't need such medical interference to do something that normally happens thoughtlessly.

This flood of grief overwhelmed me badly it took 4 days to compose myself to go to work and believe me - I tried.

But I am grateful for it. When the flood of grief past I was left with a sense of calmness and clarity and I hope you are too. I now know that I could not have done the cycle in Oct as I would have been a wreck.

What you are feeling must be normal if I have described it accurately here (because I am normal and sane grin).

Hopefully what I have described above sheds light on your feelings. You can send my therapy cheque through the post wink.

New year, new plan.

Fish.x

Bunnygirlie Fri 29-Nov-13 08:42:37

Thanks euro it does sound nasty but I guess with all the poking and prodding we go through its just another thing!

vallinna lol at gallows humour, weird isn't it, sometimes something will make me really upset, sometimes I surprise myself and laugh at something, DH and did laugh when we were watching tv a few months back and I said 'great even the f-ing Argos aliens are having a baby!'

fish wow what a post, I haven't even begun my ivf journey proper and I already feel like an emotional freak half the time. It's just so unfair that so many of us get to this point.

tame wishing you a good weekend and hoping you feel better soon ready for another go in the new year flowers

Fabuluce Fri 29-Nov-13 08:45:07

Tame, what Fish said! She's spot on lovely, sometimes you really do just have to let go. You've always been a strong one so give yourself the opportunity to have a massive blubfest/howl at the moon and we'll all stand by you holding your hands or stroking your hair. Xx

Lifeasafish Fri 29-Nov-13 08:56:55

To be honest this thread seems a bit more down and anxious than normal (wry smile), and I think I've just worked out why.

Every christmas/NYE period we've probably all imagined the christmas day announcement, last adult christmas, baby stuff next christmas, this time next year and all that. We are flooded by family ad's, those who have had miscarriages imagine what would have been (xmas is cancelled in the fish household this year), some of us have to buy baby/child presents, there's the gluttony issue (to drink or not to drink). It's shit.

Its another milestone isn't it. Bringing the same shit into the next fresh year.

Recognising the reason behind difficulty/anxiety makes it a lot easier for me, so I thought I'd share the above in case it helps anyone else.

Badhairday76 Fri 29-Nov-13 10:29:43

Hello ladies. You all talk a lot of sense on here. I especially relate to the stuff about Christmas. I am due to start injecting on Dec 13th (same day as you, Pipbin!) and when I told mum about this she said 'we'll, that's not very convenient - I don't want our Christmas ruined by you being upset'. I feel really wounded by that. Christmas Eve will be one year on since I lost my first pregnancy and left tube through my first Ectopic pregnancy and had I not had a miscarriage in April, I would have been due at Christmas this year. I think I am probably entitled to feel a bit shit this Christmas, IVF injections or not. My DP also went out with the NCT dad's last night and two more of their wives are expecting but hadn't told me. I feel horribly jealous of them and feel like a bad person for feeling that way. That is, of course, why nobody told me. Sigh. To top it all, I am sitting in the doctors with a red eye like The Terminator looking like shite. I am meant to be going to my DP's Xmas Party tomorrow and had a total meltdown this morning when he said I should go, but wear an eyepatch like Pete Burns. Reading this back, it sounds quite funny, but I was crying! I then went into school and moaned so horribly about my eye that they told me to come to the docs, so here I am.

Sigh. Sorry about the rant, ladies, as you say, it's the little things that set you off. Tame - I am so sorry about your cancelled cycle. Life is bloody awful sometimes. Can you do the short protocol next time? I haven't even started IVF yet, but am finding it mentally tough already. If my doctor asks me how I am 'in general' in a few minutes, I might burst into tears or punch something. Sorry again about the rant. You are the only guys I feel I can rant to without sounding like a crazed loon. X

BeetleBeetle Fri 29-Nov-13 11:21:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vallinnapod Fri 29-Nov-13 11:37:26

Fish you have totally summed it all up. Often it's the 'small' things that break the camel's back and open the floodgates.

To just compound last night I feel worse today. I have an achy cold type thing. Had to cancel acupuncture as I can't bear the shower touching me, let alone people.

Badhairday76 Fri 29-Nov-13 12:00:38

Ahhhh - Vanillapod - I have also fallen out with my DP over the booze issue. He doesn't go out often, but when he does, he always had about 5 or 6 pints. I keep having to nag him to take his conception vitamins as well. He even said 'but it's not me who has the problem', meaning fertility wise. I think he regretted it immediately, but it still stung. I agree that Xmas makes things harder. I've never been a huge fan, to be honest. Bah humbug!!

Beetle - I am taking your advice and have booked a spray tan for this afternoon. Perhaps the orange hue will detract from my red eye (she says hopefully.....)

eurochick Fri 29-Nov-13 13:56:27

pip we've talked about the volume issue and lowest count with the consultant at the clinic we were thinking of changing to, and he mentioned that the amount produced can depend upon how aroused a man is (probably not hugely, stuck in a broom cupboard with a selection of mags while he is thinking about a roomful of strangers peering up his wife!). But if the overall volume was fine, that might not be an issue.

tame I reckon taking the day off sounds like a plan. Sometimes it does all get too much.

Sorry that so many of us are feeling down. I have the day off, have just bought some new boots and am feeling reasonably chipper.

My scan was fine - I have a few follies on each side, although some are so small I suspect they won't do anything. But hopefully we will get a few eggs out of this round.

vallinnapod Fri 29-Nov-13 14:07:52

Good news Euro always amazes me the difference between a Day 5 and a Day 10 scan so you could be pleasantly surprised.

nobeer Fri 29-Nov-13 18:05:06

Fish you are a very wise woman. Tame you are completely normal. I cried when the Dr said I should wait until I've had the immunology tests, I was really hoping for a nice Christmas BFP. Oh well, it'll just have to be a January or February one instead.

chocolocodowninacapulco Sat 30-Nov-13 08:47:21

Sorry everyone is feeling so down, it is the time of the year, I think.

Well done on your scan euro

tame when I didn't down reg properly I think it was partly because they were trying to do a day 1 start as AF had arrived early and messed up our day 21 start. I always did short protocol after that.

Just had our day 3 update and all looking very good. 3 embryos at 8 cells and 1 at 6 cells grin. They are taking them to blastocyst gulp can't believe it

nobeer Sat 30-Nov-13 09:44:02

Glad you posted this morning choco! I thought I'd killed the thread!

Right, onwards and upwards. Today I'm doing a big shop because we're having friends round for lunch tomorrow. I might even put up some Christmas decorations! We're probably going to have a paella, and maybe some kind of sausage casserole thing. Sounds like an odd combo, but there's a few of us so a choice of dishes.

eurochick Sat 30-Nov-13 10:18:46

That's great news choc!

val I'm sure it will be fine. I'm used to one mature egg, so any more will be a bonus. And I am still oddly disinterested frankly. Whatever we get, we get.

BrookerC Sat 30-Nov-13 11:14:34

Morning all!
Sorry to hear how low everyone is feeling sad This thread is a wonderful support & it's so great that as soon as someone expresses their down feelings, others come on & share their own feelings & experiences. No-one is alone in all this bollox.
Fab news on the embies choco is it looking like a Monday transfer? Exciting!
Glad to hear the drugs are doing their thang euro
Hi to everyone else <waves>

Afm I'm still as cold as a damp squib... We have one of our nieces coming to stay over the weekend so have some nice things planned. Hopefully I can spring back into the land of the living....<the zombie look is getting soooo tedious>

Lifeasafish Sat 30-Nov-13 11:24:00

Hey all,

choc that's so fab!!! You must be so pleased!

euro embrace the disinterest, its made my life easier although I'm still confused by it. Looking good and don't knock the small follicles - as someone said a few days makes a difference. Get a ruler and have a look at the measurements we are talking. Its minuscule really and perfectly feasible!

tame how are you? Please let me know you are ok even if you are still struggling.

AFM - nothing to report. I am getting a little scared/anxious now but keep reminding myself that only time has the answers.

Lifeasafish Sat 30-Nov-13 11:28:51

badhair flowers. I've been told some shocking things by my folks and it keeps repeating on your mind doesn't it? Don't worry hopefully it's well meaning and don't forget that if we cannot understand our feelings/thoughts allowances need to be made for others.

Going pretty much no contact has worked for me, but I have told them why. Your feelings are valid and you have every right to feel wounded. Personally I wouldn't go over at xmas for self-preservation reasons but that's me.

WannabeMaryPoppins Sat 30-Nov-13 17:20:50

Evening all
Tame hope that you are feeling a bit better today. We're all here for you
Fish wise words. I really think that you have hit the nail on
the head. And I completely agree that trying to find some sort of rational reason certainly helps. Especially in the situation that we are all in that has so many questions marks.
beetle really hope that the pampering helped
badhair hope you are looking all sunkissed and bronzed
Euro brilliant news! Things are sounding promising
choco am so excited for you
brooker hope you are feeling loads better
Hi to nobeer, pip, bunny and vanilla and waves to everyone else

About the man thing. We had ICSI due to MFI. But before we got that far we tried an IUI and was told that the sperm count was so low it would be a miracle if anything happened. Turns out though that he was really really nervous on that day. After that all his other samples were lots better but still not great . Just wanted to say that stress plays a huge role in how things turn out on the day.

AFM still popping the progynova like sweets. Start on 4 a day tomorrow. No real side effects but feel a bit tired and bloated has nothing to do with all the cake I'm scoffing obviously. Went for my first scan on Friday and things are how they should be. Back on Tues to see if we can set a date so am assuming we will be good to on the 6th or the 9th. Yikes.

Fabuluce Sat 30-Nov-13 17:43:29

Sorry to hear that everyone is so down at the moment - I'm blaming on the weather and the obsession with Christmas before it's time to be christmassy. I love Christmas btw - just in it's own month!

I think it's time we talked food instead. Sod the calorie loading, think lovely winter warming, egg maturing, womb lining plumper comfort grub grin Nobeer I too made a sausage casserole last night and damn good it was too - pork and apple sausages, onions, parsnips, baked beans, kidney beans, tinned toms and chicken stock. Yum!

Afm, the funeral isn't until 10th December now so once we've had the rev over for a chat about the service with Mum on Tuesday I shall be going home to my DH for a few days - yippee smile I also haven't yet had AF for 6 weeks now. If anyone remembers I had that query about taking the pill for 9 days then coming off and no bleed? I checked with my clinic and they said to date it from the last day of pill but that was 28 days last Tuesday....bfn yesterday so will see how I go and test again on Tuesday coming if no AF has appeared. Typical huh!

Fabuluce Sat 30-Nov-13 17:44:48

PS - chocs smilesmile
Badhair - a disgraceful comment by your mother - sounds like my mum! So sorry you have to deal with that. X

Fabuluce Sat 30-Nov-13 17:48:03

Pps - think it might have been me who did the food list - I'll look for it and re-post

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sat 30-Nov-13 22:29:42

Evening all. I'm coming out from under my rock for a bit.

Bad Hope you're ok after the.comment. Its something similar to what my Mother would say - bloody wonderful aren't they; mothers!

Hope all the stabbers, PUPO's, waiting to stabs and everyone else is ok.

AFM I'm giving up the fight and going to see my Dr this week to see if I can get.signed off. I'm not.coping AT ALL and its making me really ill. Some time off should help.

Bunnygirlie Sat 30-Nov-13 23:42:30

Hi wannabe unfort my DHs sperms tests were bad and he's had 2 sperm freezes lately and they were low too so that's pretty crappy, he was very disappointed as had hoped his lifestyle changes would have improved things. FC dr says its probably genetic for us.

fab hope you are doing ok, the time up to the funeral is always strange, will be nice to go home and see your hubby

Bug hope your dr is kind and signs you off, sometimes you just need to be away from work to feel better flowers

In bunny-land its CD1! The 18th AF I never wanted, not long compared with most of you but it's a funny anniversary to reach sad

But it does mean my cycle is back up to 28 days after some weird cycles so that's good. Gonna ring FC Monday and see if I will be allowed to start jabbing if next AF arrives on time between Christmas and new year!!!
Do you think they'll let me?!?

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Sun 01-Dec-13 08:44:30

Tame I'm gutted to hear your cycle has been cancelled. I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel. It's so weird what things seem to push us over the edge so to speak. I've had bad news on the ttc front at work too and have managed to carry on yet have had absolute meltdowns at other times over minor things. Not that this is a minor thing at all. You have been preparing and hoping for months. It's so bloody unfair. How are you feeling now? X

Bugs it really sounds like your at the end of your tether. I was signed off just after Christmas last year. The week before Christmas my work was shut unexpectedly and I was moved to a different position. It was awful. On top of that I had just started the IVF game. I was so stressed I couldn't sleep. I went to my GP who signed me off and I did lots of negotiating with my work and ended up going part time for 6 months which really helped. Is your GP sympathetic? I would get an appointment booked in with them. I didn't even go to mine looking to be signed off I went to get some sleeping tablets and my GP said I was in not fit state to work. Tbh you sound like you've got a lot more going on at the moment than I did xx

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Sun 01-Dec-13 09:05:35

Sorry to read some people have been feeling a bit down. I think Fish has it spot on. It's a bit unavoidable at Christmas. I normally really love this time of year but I must admit our infertility seems to cast a dark shadow over all the celebrations. It's my birthday in December as well which I always find difficult as I find it hard to deal with being a year older. I always view it as a year less fertile not the most optimistic birthday girl

BadHair what an awful comment from your mum. People really don't think sometimes. My mum has said some terrible things over the years despite having ttc for four years herself. We actually stopped talking for a while earlier on in the year when she orchestrated my sister telling me her happy news on the phone in front of all our family on Mother's Day. I still feel so hurt now that she didn't understand how hurtful it was.

Euro glad to hear everything is going well so far. How are you managing with the drugs?

Any news from Rabbit? I hope you are ok x

I've just had a letter from the pct. After my last cycle I appealed to get my treatment transferred to a private clinic from my nhs one. I've finally heard that they have approved it. I don't know what to do as I'm ready to start my next cycle with my current clinic over Christmas. So if I move I'll have to wait longer and the private clinic doesn't do short protocol. On the other hand my nhs clinic stats are 19% success rate compared to 36% at the private. The private clinic is care in Manchester, has anyone got any experience of them?

nobeer Sun 01-Dec-13 11:48:20

Good luck with your doctor bugger. I think you're being very sensible asking for help.

AFM I've got sausage casserole in the oven, cheese and paté starters waiting, and some nice wine I bought 2 thermal vests yesterday. I was very excited to find them! It does get cold here in winter you know!

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sun 01-Dec-13 17:29:31

cups that's the clinic I'll be at. I know lots of couples who have been to them and they're really good at what they do. Have a look on their website.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sun 01-Dec-13 17:29:32

cups that's the clinic I'll be at. I know lots of couples who have been to them and they're really good at what they do. Have a look on their website.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sun 01-Dec-13 17:29:33

cups that's the clinic I'll be at. I know lots of couples who have been to them and they're really good at what they do. Have a look on their website.

talulahbelle Mon 02-Dec-13 07:02:52

Hi all, de lurking to say hi and also have a bit of a wobble. No real symptoms, and it's my early scan today. I'm terrified it's the IVF drugs keeping AF away and I'm not actually pregnant.
That's what infertility means to me, the loss of any hope and joy in my pregnancy.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Mon 02-Dec-13 07:57:54

What time is your scan Tal. No symptoms does not mean no pregnancy. Have you poas lately? would seeing another bfp help?

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 02-Dec-13 08:22:57

Have a hand to hold talulah , wishing you all the luck in the world for today x

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 02-Dec-13 08:40:32

AFM, so nervous that we will get to the clinic and they'll say that there are no embryos left to transfer. Someone please slap me!

Fabuluce Mon 02-Dec-13 08:43:40

Resounding fish slap duly administered Chocs - your embies will be wonderful smile good luck today xx

Tal, there's no doubt about it, it's a scary time but I'm sure you'll be fine - good luck and wishing you all the best xx

I'm holding both your hands smile

BeetleBeetle Mon 02-Dec-13 09:01:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Mon 02-Dec-13 09:17:06

choc I dont think I can better what Beetle said. Urgh - you stink grin What time will you know?

Lifeasafish Mon 02-Dec-13 10:01:01

Morning all.

tal I wish you all the very best for todays scan - it will be fine. I know exactly how you are feeling as I feel the same right now sad. I am avoiding testing, but had to yesterday as MrFish was anxious.

choc good luck with the ET. You will be fine and I am also slapping oyu with my namesake.

AFM - wot Tal said (bar the scan of course - I am up next week).

tame if you are reading I hope you are ok.

eurochick Mon 02-Dec-13 11:42:57

tal good luck for the scan. I understand your fears, but the odds are on your side!

choc good luck and fish slaps to you!

fish I found testing comforting. I tried not to do it every day though.

AFM, I had my second scan this morning and it was rather disappointing. At the first scan on Friday I had 8-10 follies all growing. They are still there but most haven't grown much, however two have really taken off. This is the position I was in on my natural modifed second cycle (when I ended up with four mature eggs and two poor quality embies). It makes timing EC difficult as I think the lead follies will end up over cooked and the little ones might not catch up. The dr said that they will up the dose tonight in the hope of getting "one or two more" (in addition to the lead two). Four would be fine and if it'd been told that was what I would get at the beginning, I would feel ok about it, but it's a disappointing come down from 8-10. We'll see what happens. EC will most likely be on Thursday.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Mon 02-Dec-13 11:50:55

Talulah good luck. Lack of symptoms don't mean anything. Keeping everything crossed for you x

Choco good luck today. I'm sure your lovely embies are doing well.

Euro I can understand why you are disappointed. Am I right in thinking it's the first time you've stimmed? Hopefully upping the dose will get those follies growing.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Mon 02-Dec-13 11:53:03

Thanks for the reply Bugs. I've decided to stick with my nhs clinic for this round as I really can't wait any longer. I've spoken to my pct and they are happy for me to transfer my final cycle to care. We are also saving to self fund one round there as well.

Fish keep hanging in there x

eurochick Mon 02-Dec-13 12:22:54

cupcakes my second cycle was natural modified which means starting stimms on day 6. This is the first time I have started stimms at the normal time, but otherwise is very similar (same drugs - gonal F and cetrotide, same dose, etc).

BrookerC Mon 02-Dec-13 12:39:41

Hand hold here for talulah & a nose peg for choco Good luck today ladies - sending waves of positive vibes over x

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 02-Dec-13 16:54:49

<wonders how to get stench of fish off self and ditch the following of stray cats> smile

talulah how'd you get on today?

euro sorry to hear you had a disappointing scan. I know what you mean about the expectations, the seed was sown in your head that you could have 8-10, so it's bound to feel a bit of a comedown from that and there's nothing to say this cycle will be the same as the last.

cups good that you've made a decision about clinics. When will you be able to get going?

beetle how are you doing lovely? Xx

fab nice sounding recipe. Hugs for the tough time you're going through Xx

brooks how are you doing?

Hello to bugger nobeer and bunnie

Well, thanks so much for all your support when I was scared this morning. We have a BB on board(I think grade 2) - it was on day 3 anyway. Will be a call tomo morning to let us know if know if anything to freeze, but looking unlikel

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 02-Dec-13 19:13:29

Unlikely! So, a teeny bit disappointed, but hoping it will be good enoughsmile

talulahbelle Mon 02-Dec-13 19:30:46

Thanks for the reassurances and handholds. We saw a teeny tiny embryo and flickering heart rate, all seems OK for dates. I've got another scan at 8+2 so only another 2 weeks to wait. Feeling slightly happier now, and I even felt a bit sick today.

bikes fish how are you both doing?

euro I really hope your follicles grow nicely, good luck for EC on Thursday.

choco so, congratulations on being PUPO. Hoping the TWW is as good as can be expected for you.

nocupcakes brooker bugger tame fab I'm thinking of you all and following your progress on here even though I'm not posting as much.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Mon 02-Dec-13 19:38:48

Yay to being PUPO Choco grin sounds like a good little emby to me. Hope you are relaxing tonight.

Talulah what fantastic news! I hope the next few weeks fly by.

Euro I can understand the disappointment after having 8-10 follies, keeping everything crossed for your next scan.

I'm hopefully going to be starting around Christmas providing AF is on time. I've got my teach this week. At least the next few weeks should go quick with the run up to Christmas.

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 02-Dec-13 19:49:57

Brilliant news talulah, really chuffed for you fsmile

vallinnapod Mon 02-Dec-13 20:21:21

Yay to both Tal and Choco x

eurochick Mon 02-Dec-13 20:51:21

That's brilliant news tal.

You're PUPO choc!

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Tue 03-Dec-13 03:50:39

Yey for Tal & Choco. Great news both of you thanks

BeetleBeetle Tue 03-Dec-13 05:33:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tametortie Tue 03-Dec-13 06:45:35

Morning guys,

I am ok smile

I stopped the buserilin last Thursday and have started a very painful bout of bleeding- very light because I've just had a period.

I have eaten lots of cake this weekend and after 3 months of gluten free, I deserve it!! Am aiming to cycle again in March x.

Glad to see some good news on here choco and talulah xxxx grin

Fish- thanks for your wise words xxxx

Lifeasafish Tue 03-Dec-13 08:00:57

tal that's so wonderful! You and mr bugs must be over the moon - congratulations.

choco yay for the PUPO!!! I've my fingers crossed that this is your time.

tame I'm relieved to see you, I hope you are feeling better now. March is a good time, you need time.

euro don't feel to down hearted 4 is still a good number. Please do not hurt me for saying this again - but protein! Eggs with every meal lots of chicken breast and pork loins if you eat it. It does make sense that you would be a bit disappointed, anyone would if you are told something has reduced.

AFM - my sleep pattern has gone to shit. I woke at 4.40am yesterday and ended up in bed at 8pm. I still feel tired. Nothing to report, stomach cramps etc - I'm trying to wait until the clear blue should show 2-3 weeks before I test again so maybe friday morning.

Pipbin Tue 03-Dec-13 11:57:07

congratulations Tal, its so lovely to hear a good story.

Hurrah for being PUPO Choco

Fish how are you going to manage to hold on until Friday?

I went to see my head teacher today about time off for IVF and he said that I can just take all the time I need and they'll work round it. He said that he didn't want me coming in on days when I felt I wasn't ready. My head of key stage is fine with it too.

eurochick Tue 03-Dec-13 12:13:39

fish I've eaten loads of protein this cycle and ended up like this, so it didn't work for me. I did some forum browsing yesterday and found a few other people who had the problem of a runaway follie on the antagoist protocol, so it seems like a fairly common thing. I said never again to LP after my previous experience of downregging, but I might have to rethink that if we do one last cycle after this.

I suffer dreadfully with preggo insomnia. Even the HCG trigger shot does it for me.

pip it's great that work are being so understanding.

AFM, I had my third and last scan this morning. The two leading follies are still going strong, two more have grown to 18mm overnight and there is still a large chasing pack that will probably be too small to have mature eggs at collection. EC on Thursday.

Lifeasafish Tue 03-Dec-13 12:32:37

I apologise euro, my protein comment was as useless as the other shit that is thrown about. I'm sorry. You are doing brilliantly btw.

Bear in mind I think the trigger also assists the other follicles? I really hope this cycle works for you as I understand LP is extra hard for you. I also hope those follies hold more than 1 egg each.

Preggo insomnia? I didn't know that was a thing. This will be an issue for me, I am a 10 hr gal and the reduction in tea/coffee is already pissing me off. I was shattered at work yesterday and I need my wits about me at work.

pipin pleased for you work wise. How understanding is your headteacher!

I tested everyday last time and got obsessed with it, especially when they started to fade. This is why I am reluctant to test now as if anything goes wrong I rather find out at confirmation rather than spend days in distress and limbo again. I have tested maybe every 3/4 days, usually because one of us starts mentalling badly. I will get bloods privately, but that is my last resort if it gets too much.

Lifeasafish Tue 03-Dec-13 12:34:41

Just realised I married tallulah to mr buggerlugs! I meant mr tal of course.

eurochick Tue 03-Dec-13 12:40:10

Sorry if I was snippy. I just feel miffed that I am not going to get a good number even though the follies are there and growing!

Preggo insomnia is indeed a thing. I found it kind of "buzzy" and different to the usual feeling of not being able to sleep (not that it happens often - I am generally a good sleeper). For me, it started around the time I tested and just got worse and worse. I had no nausea, just lots of bloody insomnia!

I hope the menkulling is not too bad.

tame lots and lots of lovely cake sounds like the way forward. And on that note, I'm off for lunch!

Lifeasafish Tue 03-Dec-13 12:59:28

smile at euro no worries! You have every right to feel miffed.

I'm pissed though - this insomnia had better not be a thing for me hmm @ sleep fairy - I've lots of social events, plus work and I need my sleep in a normal pattern.

The cat didn't even bug me for food yesterday morn - she looked at me as if to say 'wtf, its too early'.

EDIT - ignore me, I'm not complaining. I've only posted the above as I think its funny, but shit if staying awake is what it takes I'll deal with it.

I'm not menkulling too badly, mrfish had a dream that I mc'd hence one of the tests and when I feel a bit of anxiety I've tested. I'm just scared of opening that distressing flood gate again. I may not even get a clearblue as if the weeks are not correct I'll probably melt down.

I had a brief glimpse of the AN thread today and I cannot join. Its brilliant that most women can be so happy and hopeful - I wish that was me, but I'd feel like a bad omen if I joined it. So, I'll stay until my scan and hopefully will fuck off after that (bar experience based advice when necessary).

Hatteras Tue 03-Dec-13 19:43:36

Just calling in to say hello. Sorry for the lack of personals whilst I get the hang of this and catch up with what's been happening. I hope everyone is well.

I have been lurking since I first posted the other week, just don't have much to add at the moment. It's confirmed we will start this next round on Dec 23rd and so we are just playing the waiting game now. We will be having ICSI which I am a little nervous about. Anyone had any experience of this? Been finding things a bit difficult recently, but I think this is just the nature of all this, we just have to accept that sometimes it feels really miserable but hopefully 'this too shall pass'. Ho hum smile

Quick question - about alcohol! How far ahead of your IVF cycle do you stop drinking? I have heard some people totally stop months ahead, other people don't. On our first cycle, I really cut down, almost cut out alcohol for a few months beforehand, but I wonder if that is really necessary? I have read some books that talk about about preparing your body for pregnancy and cutting out alcohol totally.....does it really make a difference? Not talking about getting raging drunk, just enjoying a wine or two/three.

Bunnygirlie Tue 03-Dec-13 20:22:16

Yay to tal and choco

Hope everyone else is well.

News here, spoke to FC nurse today and good to go on next CD2 which should be between Christmas and New Year - scary!!!

eurochick Tue 03-Dec-13 20:53:28

hatteras I have the odd one throughout. I am really not convinced that a single glass of wine sipped over the course of an evening occasionally is going to have any effect on anything. I actually have my work Xmas party tomorrow - the day before egg collection! I will probably have a few sips of wine to avert suspicion.

Hatteras Tue 03-Dec-13 21:33:50

euro - I think you're right. I don't think that the odd glass of wine is going to stop us all getting pregnant, I just get a bit paranoid sometimes!

Good luck with the egg collection, fingers crossed for you.

BrookerC Tue 03-Dec-13 22:33:13

Evening all!
I shall attempt to catch up but so much has happened over the last week that I may miss something - apologies in advance.

tal what lovely news on your scan. Hope you & Mr T can enjoy each day.
choco How are you doing PUPO lady? Time for that embie to get all lovely & snugly. Did your clinic call today on the frosties? x
fish your insomnia doesn't seem to be affecting your thinking smile Many of your recent posts have been very insightful & have made a lot of sense. I'm not sure I've congratulated you on your bfp - it's fab news lovely! I totally get the low key vibe.
euro I've had 2 cycles on SP & had a couple of lead follicles on both. A few of the other's did catch up by EC though (I had 8 & 6 eggs collected). I hate the numbers game as your expectations are constantly changing. As you say yourself though, you would have been happy with 4 at the beginning of your cycle so try to hold onto that. Are you triggering tonight? Eeek! Good luck!
tame I'm god damn fucking fuming on your behalf! How totally frustrating to have your cycle cancelled. Have you talked to your clinic about SP? <sorry if I've missed anything>. It does sound like your body & DR do not mix. Enjoy the cake & don't be too tough on yourself xx
bugs Have you managed to see your GP yet? I think you're being very sensible in considering some time off work. There's only so much one person can take. I hope the house move is a welcome distraction from the ivf worry x
cups the next few weeks will fly by - no doubt with all the Christmas shenanigans! AF now just needs to play ball <it always amuses me how much us ivfer's rely on AF turning up - I mean ffs!>
pip how great to have such a supportive employer. One less thing to worry about! When are you due to start your next cycle?
hatteras hello! Not sure if we've met before. It looks like there could be a few cycles starting around Christmas so you'll be in good company smile Can't help with the ICSI question but on the alcohol front, I have drunk small quantities throughout. My cons advised 5 units per week <not in one session obvs!> and suggested it may have a beneficial effect in relaxing & de-stressing. I can't imagine that the reason I am barren is due to the odd glass of wine confused
bunny Great news on getting started! How are you feeling about it? Is this your first cycle <sorry, can't remember>
fabbie Hope your chat with the rev today went ok. <Hugs> Enjoy the next few days with DH, you so deserve it. You can't beat a good catch up -absence, heart, fonder & all that. Also, the sex is sooo much better when you've been apart <IMO anyway wink> I am enjoying the food chat. Planning on finally making your recommended blackberry cake this weekend - am I ok to use frozen berries if I can't get fresh? <novice alert>
badhair One of the many reasons I have not told my parents about IVF. Even if they don't mean to, they somehow have a knack of saying the wrong thing... Hope you're feeling better.
maryp How are you doing with the side effects lovely? Hope they have calmed down. How did the scan go today?
nobeer not buying that thermal vests rubbish - no way! You're just trying to make us feel better grin Your weekend lunch sounded gorgeous! Where are you with the immune testing? Do you know what you'll be doing & when you be having them?
beetle How's the new hairdo? I'm planning the same pretty soon. A bit of pampering never goes a miss when we need picking up. Sending a big squeeze x
val In my experience men find doing anything in moderation difficult. I had many similar discussions with my DH as his samples have all been good, it's like a green light for him to carry on as before. This time of year is so difficult to cut down too - there's so much temptation everywhere. I just offered compromises in the end to maintain my sanity <you can drink tonight but nothing for the next few nights - sigh>

Afm, have my failed cycle review on 20 Dec. Not done much research etc on questions to ask yet. Will look into the week before I think. We're trying to enjoy a bit of time not obsessing about ttc & I didn't realise how much I needed it. It's like I've been in the most surreal bubble for the last 8 months...

Hi to everyone else <waves> xx

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Wed 04-Dec-13 07:41:09

Morning all. Sorry I didn't come back and update, I thought I had <rubbish memory>

The dr I saw was wonderful and despite me thinking she'd give me a note for a couple of weeks she wants to sign me off for the full ivf cycle starting now!! I haven't got the sick note yet as I couldn't decide if I wanted all that time there & then but after a chat with DH and my inlaws (who are wonderful) my mum, my union rep I've decided to take her advice grin

BeetleBeetle Wed 04-Dec-13 08:13:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeetleBeetle Wed 04-Dec-13 08:18:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick Wed 04-Dec-13 10:47:04

Hi all. No time for a proper catch up now - today will be busy as I'm off tomorrow.

I've triggered and am enjoying my drug free day! Collection is at dawn's crack tomorrow.

beetle I am planning on being awake again for this one. It worked so well on the last cycle.

BeetleBeetle Wed 04-Dec-13 13:09:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Badhairday76 Wed 04-Dec-13 15:27:36

Hi everybody - wow - you are all so good at personals, it is truly putting me to shame. Thanks so much for those of you who have mentioned me in your personals. You will be pleased to hear that my mum has been much better since she saw how upset I was this weekend. I think she 'got it' for the first time, actually. And she is going to come down to London and look after my DS in January if we make it to egg collection!

Tal, Euro and Fish - congrats on being pregnant and PUPO! Fingers crossed there will be a few more of us joining your gang soon. I think it was you, Pipbin who said your Headmaster had been great about time off during IVF. So was mine! In fact I only had to mention that I would need time off for 'vaginal scans' for him to look mortified and say 'you must take off all the time you need''!

All good. I was interested to hear your thoughts on the booze issue. I am due to start the DR injections in a week's time and have pretty much decided I've stopped drinking for the foreseeable future. I did, however, get absolutely trashed with my DP at his Xmas party at the weekend, so certainly didn't give up months in advance. My clinic said it was fine to have 'a few drinks' over Christmas, but 'no heavy drinking sessions'. So I reckon I'll have the odd glass. My problem is that I always want another drink after having that one glass, though(!) so being teetotal might be the way forward for this IVFer!

I've just bought my IVF drugs today - £800! I felt so miserable about the amount that I went out and bought myself some pressies to cheer myself up and have had a big bouncy blow dry done at the hairdressers. Feeling better now.

Euro - good luck for egg collection tomorrow. Please let us know what it's like when you are awake! I've had three operations under general anaesthetic in the last 2 years and have had an ulcerated throat after each one. I think I would prefer to be awake if possible too. Am scared of it being super painful though. You are a v brave lady. In fact you all are on here. Wishing everybody a good day. Xxxx

eurochick Wed 04-Dec-13 15:56:38

badhair I'm not PUPO yet, but here's hoping I will be in a few days.

I've already been awake for EC- on my last cycle. It was fine. Even when there was a bleed and they shoved every available instrument in theatre up my chuff I couldn't have given less of a sh1t. The drugs they gave me were great. I was awake with my eyes open and able to talk throughout, and fully aware of what was going on and could feel the rummaging, but nothing was really painful. I felt completely normal as soon as I sat up. Apparently the reasons for putting people out are that a lot of women want it because they are scared of EC (fair enough) and to stop you moving when the needle is somewhere delicate and could potentially cause damage. I was very mindful of the need to stay completely still and don't believe that I moved a muscle, even when it all went wrong and there was some panic in the theatre.

A bouncy blow dry sounds fab! I can't imagine saying the words "vaginal scans" to any of the men here. I suspect they would all run for cover.

Badhairday76 Wed 04-Dec-13 16:47:05

Doh!! Sorry - I meant the PUPO congrats to choco! I am rubbish at remembering the personals because I always Mumsnet on my phone and can't scroll back! Sorry ladies.

Thanks for sharing your experience, Euro. I definitely want to be awake if possible. I feel woozy for a few days after General Anaesthetic and need to be on the ball for my job teaching. Ha ha - iI've had to discuss time off for IVF with both my line manager and my Head and both were hilarious. I forgot that most people don't know much about IVF and when I was going on about 'egg collection' my Manager was staring at me in horror, imagining some giant chicken, I'm sure. I also said that I would only take one day off for the actual procedure because I expected to be fine, other than having 'very sore genitalia' and he went red and blustered - 'take off as much time as you need' and kind of ushered me out of the door. I'm terrible. I do these things on purpose. Last year I took my baby son into school for the end of term party and was breastfeeding him in the staffroom, much to the discomfort of many of the blokes there. Ha!!

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Dec-13 20:33:48

Hi brooker Yep it's my first cycle, I'm really nervous!

bugs glad your dr was helpful flowers

euro wishing you the best for tomorrow

chocolocodowninacapulco Wed 04-Dec-13 20:52:30

Hello!

Sorry for short post, cream crackered from work, will post properly tomorrow.

Just to say heaps of luck for tomorrow euro, hope it all goes really well.

AFM, we didn't have any frosties, but hopefully one good embryo on board, a 3BB. Trying and failing not to symptom spot fconfused

nobeer Wed 04-Dec-13 21:08:11

grin vaginal scans! Ha! I love your style Bad!

Tallula and Choco Congratulations! Got everything crossed for both of you.

Beetle that hairdresser sounds like the opposite of pampering! Good luck with the doctor tomorrow, I hope you get some useful answers. And if you're a blubbering mess don't worry. You won't be the first, or the last.

Bug so pleased you've got some time off. Your doctor sounds lovely. Hope you can relax a bit now, and look after yourself.

Tame have some more cake go on, you know you want to!

Euro good luck tomorrow.

Thanks for asking brooker, I've managed to get an appointment at GP surgery for some of the tests week after next, so that'll save a bit of money. I've got to ring the private IVF clinic to make an appointment for the rest of the immunology ones. But I got gastroenteritis today so feel like shit, and didn't feel like ringing and making appointments.

waves to MaryP Pip Fish Cups and anyone else I have forgotten!

chocolocodowninacapulco Wed 04-Dec-13 21:28:17

beetle thinking of you for your appointment xx

BrookerC Wed 04-Dec-13 23:08:54

Great news bugs How's the house move going?
beetle that salon sounds god awful! Hope the appt goes well tomorrow & I second nobeer. It really won't matter one bit if you bawl your eyes out. Hope you get some answers & can make plans for your next steps
euro good luck for tomorrow. I've had all my ECs under sedation & I've found the experience interesting <weirdo> & with very little pain. Hope the cocktail of drugs you get is as good as my clinic use!
Loving the vaginal scans chat badhair! I can't even finish a sentence with my boss before he rushes out of the door muttering 'yes, yes, no problem' grin
nobeer yay to free shit! Any opportunity to get some of the treatment/ tests for free is always a bonus. Gastroenteritis! You poor thing. Hope the symptoms aren't too.... unpleasant wink
bunny the thought of ivf is worse than actually going through it. You will surprise yourself with how you cope. Don't forget we're here for any worries
choco aahhhh - the 2ww headfuck! Try to keep busy lovely.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Thu 05-Dec-13 09:20:40

Euro good luck for EC today thanks

Bugs your GP sounds great, I think it will do you good to get away from work for a bit.

Choco hope the 2ww is flying by. Have you got any plans to keep busy?

Beetle good luck for today's appointment.

Bunny exciting that you get to start soon. Like a Brooker says the thought of it is definitely worse than the reality. You will be fine smile

Nobeer hope you feel better soon.

Sorry for lack of personals, got a busy day ahead. Will try to check in later.

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Thu 05-Dec-13 09:22:46

Brooker good to hear you are managing to sort off forget about ttc for now. It's crazy how it completely takes over everything at times!

Lifeasafish Thu 05-Dec-13 09:37:46

Just popping in quickly to wish euro an easy and extremely productive EC today. I hope it all goes well and I am thinking of you.

tame cake

choco congrats on PUPO! Well done!

beetle flowers I hope todays appointment goes well and you get the answers you need and want. You have every right to be upset so i wouldn't worry at all about crying at the appointment.

AFM: busy at work, still alternating between sleeping lots and waking randomly. A little queasyness and a fair amount of stomach cramps but I do wonder if I am just over sensitive to whats going on as at one point yesterday I realised it was trapped wind blush.
Otherwise, 7 days to go...

Oh and Mr fish and I are debating having sex, this is a big thing in our household as we have never done it while PUPO or P due to fright and umm weirdness.

Lifeasafish Thu 05-Dec-13 09:39:23

nobeer hugs for the gastro. I've never had it but I have witnessed the effects from afar. you Have my utmost sympathy. flowers

eurochick Thu 05-Dec-13 11:52:48

I hope you feel better soon nobeer.

fish the sex we had whilst pregnant was the best ever. I'm not sure if it was the hormones or the fact that for the first time in years I wasn't thinking about what cycle day I was on or what position would be best for ttc but it was AMAZING.

I'm back from EC. It was all fine. I was awake again, although the cocktail was not quite as good and I did experience some pain this time. Nothing unbearable though. They got 4 eggs, which is what was expected. Somewhat disappointing though, after all the drug taking. They have talked us into using the embryoscope, so we will see if that gives us more info as to what our embies are doing and why they are failing.

vallinnapod Thu 05-Dec-13 12:01:34

Glad it went well Euro

Badhairday76 Thu 05-Dec-13 12:50:50

So glad it went well for you as well, Euro, although sorry to hear it was a bit painful. I think the Embryoscope sounds like a great idea to give you the best possible chance. Rest up and take it easy now x

chocolocodowninacapulco Thu 05-Dec-13 13:55:18

Well done euro. Rooting for you and your eggs smile

Lifeasafish Thu 05-Dec-13 15:50:57

Well done euro, I know the 4 defeats the purpose of the drugs and I was really hoping you'd get a pleasant surprise.
However, it's great that you can use the embryoscope and I'm hoping that it gives answers you will not need because your haul includes the one that will give you success.

Sex - well, from the minute I was told my tubes were blocked it got better then as we stopped trying really and enjoyed sex again. But I will mention this to mr fish. I think he is scared he'll break me. hmm

talulahbelle Thu 05-Dec-13 17:27:41

Well done euro I've got fingers crossed one of those eggs becomes a future baby euro.

fish we DTD the day of the scan... I was too scared to enjoy it, worried about embryo being poked <paranoid> and made DH stop halfway through. And now I'm too bloated/sick feeling to want to.

Fabuluce Thu 05-Dec-13 17:59:34

Well done Euro - you're well 'ard! I'm a total jessy and go with the heavy sedation - works wonders for me - up and at em 30 mins later after a cuppa and a biccie smile

Bugs - how's the new house? I saw this on Zita West's website and thought of you http://www.zitawest.com/blog/2012/12/ Sounds like you've made the right call to take a step away from work. I did the same thing and ultimately left work as my job was just too stressful to do alongside IVF, getting to see my DH occasionally. I wasn't entirely sure I'd made the right decision until my Dad got so ill and then I was just so grateful I wasn't working - i think if I had been I would have had a breakdown for sure - sometimes you just have to do the right thing for your body. <hugs>

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Thu 05-Dec-13 18:09:39

Thanks Fab. I spoke to my boss earlier and let him know I'm off till the New Year. He wants to come see me next week.I think its policy as he wants to discuss what he can do to help me get back to work. I don't suppose have the Ivf for me is really an answer but that's all her could do. If I go back earlier I'll hate myself and work too if the IVF fails. I don't think he gets it.

Euro we discussed the embryoscope but the consultant has advised us to have it on the next cycle if this one fails. It sounds brilliant technology.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Thu 05-Dec-13 18:33:10

Are there any good websites that will explain in an idiots guide what IVF is and what it involves physically & mentally? I am thinking I could send the links to my boss so he can read about my situation and understand it more. I haven't got internet until Tuesday so can't google!

WannabeMaryPoppins Thu 05-Dec-13 18:56:27

Sorry for being so slack recently. I've been away with work so have been lurking but not really able to post.
bugs really glad to hear that you have been given the time to concentrate on you and the ivf. Sounds like a great idea to me.
Bad Sounds to me like you are having a great hair day. Can't believe you used the word vagina at work!!!! Maybe we should turn this into a game of bullshit bingo for us all grin
tame cake is the way forward. Have a go at Mary Berry's whole orange spiced cake. It is heaven on earth and am convinced that it counts towards your five a day
nobeer you poor thing. Hope you get better soon [head strokes]
Choco congratuations on being PUPO!
Tal wonderful news about your scan. Really pleased for you and Mr T
Pip cannot believe how good work are being that's just brilliant. It nice to know that they are not arseholes
Brooker you just amaze me. Have no idea how you manage to keep up with everyone. Sounds like you are really enjoying life outside of IVF which is exactly as it should be
Beetle How did you appointment go?
Hatteras Hello, I don't think we have met. We have had ICSI so feel free to ask away
Life Get used to the wind. I had it throughtout my pregancy. That and snoring like a bear with a sore head. Oh the joys grin can't wait
Euro Congratulations on EC. You are one brave lady. Four eggs sounds great so am keeping everything crossed for you.
Fab Hope you and DH are enjoying your time together

Hope I haven't forgotten anyone.....

AFM The scan went well yesterday and FET is now set for Monday. Am getting pretty excited even though the Embie quality isn't great (CC) and as long as there is a chance then I'm going to go for it.

nobeer Thu 05-Dec-13 20:19:28

Good luck MaryP I've got everything crossed for you. I'm of the opinion that clinics wouldn't bother with the transfer of an embryo if they thought there wasn't a chance of success. I hope this one works for you and Mr Poppins.

eurochick Thu 05-Dec-13 21:04:12
BrookerC Thu 05-Dec-13 22:16:56

Well done today euro Hope you're not feeling too sore x

Optimistic13 Thu 05-Dec-13 23:47:27

Hi all, have gotten confused by time I've caught up too many names to remember wink

choc I seemed to have got worse as the days went on haha I ended up relying on the other half to set the injections up for me,

euro how are you getting on?

nobeer any closer to those immune-thingie-ma-bobs?

had scan on fri but they found fluids in my stomach so my eggs have been collected Monday (20 .. 7 frozen and a few that could still work after the convo) but that's as far as we will go this year, was so distraught The poor nurse, every other app we have been too I didn't allow myself to get excited and the bloody last one had to get me didn't it, I have a 3D scan in 2 weeks to investigate (hoping its cleared) as it could be toxic fluids they have refused point blank to anything for at least 3 months, feeling rather the opposite to my nickname! Anyone else feel like this whole journey is 1 step closer 1000 steps back?? I'm beginning to think maybe it's that time to let it go!! By another dog .. Every 6 months sad feeling a bit insane at the mo.

Hatteras Fri 06-Dec-13 01:43:26

maryp - hello and nice to meet you! So, yes we are about to embark on our first ICSI cycle (starting Dec 23). We have had one failed cycle of IVF, in October this year. Everything went pretty smoothly with the cycle, 11 eggs were collected, but only 1 fertilised (they warned us it wasn't a great one, but it was transferred anyway). DH's sperm test results have always been fine so there didn't seem to be a male factor (we are officially in the 'unexplained' camp) and which is why we started with IVF not ICSI.

I don't even know what to ask, since the cycle/drugs etc seem to be the same as last time, the only change being what the clinic does with the sperm and eggs. I think I just feel a bit wobbly about it all because there is greater intervention involved IYSWIM (and probably reading dodgy Daily Fail articles about ICSI has done me no good!)

Good luck for your FET, as nobeer said, everything crossed for you.

BeetleBeetle Fri 06-Dec-13 08:09:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeetleBeetle Fri 06-Dec-13 08:09:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nobeer Fri 06-Dec-13 09:12:42

Thanks for the [tea] beetle. I think this thread is exactly the right one to share. I definitely want to know how you're getting on, and we're all here to share our experiences. I hope the dr and your gynae can make find a solution. I've never heard of an incompetent cervix! How much longer are you in Cape Town?

Hi optimistic sorry you're having a tough time too. I think it's so hard, we prepare ourselves mentally and then the unexpected comes along and knocks us for six. I remember being very disappointed when they froze our embryos and we had to have FET. Nobody tells you you need the patience of a saint for IVF! Good luck with your 3D scan. Thanks for asking about the immunology tests, I've got one set on the NHS week after next, and I'll get the results at the beginning of Jan. I imagine it will be similar with the private clinic too.

BeetleBeetle Fri 06-Dec-13 16:06:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WannabeMaryPoppins Fri 06-Dec-13 19:11:55

Hatteras we are having ICSI due to MFI but it works! We were extremely lucky and got pregnant on our first round just over two years ago. Keeping my fingers crossed that it works as quickly for you too!
Beetle Glad that your appointment went well. I think I would also like to know what was happening instead of just winging it. I'm not 100% sure but I think I might have taken Yasmin years ago....--if only I'd known then what I know now--
Optimistic Hello just in case we haven't met yet. That must be so fecking disappointing and frustrating. That toxic fluid sounds horrendous. Lets hope its bugged off by the time you have that scan.
Nobeer Hello my dear. How are you? Didn't realise that you were up for the scans so quickly. And its great that you can get them on then nhs too. Really hope that they bring you one step closer, regardless of the results (if you know what I mean).

Hi to everyone else!

Am just off to a friend's for dinner and am desperately searching for an excuse as to why I won't be drinking.... all suggestions welcome!

nobeer Fri 06-Dec-13 20:51:06

MaryP blood tests, not scans. Checking for things a list as long as my arm! It's all very scientific and have no idea what half of it means.
Tell your friend you're on a health kick/antibiotics/got to get up early and don't fancy a hangover!

Hatteras Fri 06-Dec-13 22:34:35

Thanks MaryP, that is really encouraging to hear you had success first time round with ICSI - hope this time is as lucky for you!

Hope everyone else is well and has a great weekend.

Lifeasafish Sat 07-Dec-13 06:59:26

3 fucking hours sleep. Maybe 4. I'm exhausted - yesterday I woke at 3am and didn't sleep again until 1a-fucking-clockish this morning and now I'm awake?

I also flew from Ayia Napa to Ibiza last night as I missed my plane home.

I've got acupuncture poppy seed things in my ear to sort the insomnia, but this isn't good. I cannot function on 3 hours and I've a hen party tonight.

I'm going to speak to my pharmacist about natural remedies - this cannot be good for me at all. Most days I am awake by 5 am.

beetle I'm glad you've got potential plans for the frosties, this means you'll be busy during the 2ww? What a nightmare to find more obstacles after IVF but I am so glad that you are getting answers.
How is the atmosphere in SA with the death of Mandela? What an amazing man/life.

euro how are you doing and feeling? How are the embies doing?

nobeer those tests sound involved, but I do think it is great when the consultants get very interested in you as they must be with you due to the barrage of treatment. I was proud to have a nurse say hello and use my name in street (well, until I remembered she'd seen my fanny at some point).
Hows the gastro doing?

maryp good luck for the FET on Monday and I agree with nobeer they wouldn't freeze an embie or replace it if they thought it had no chance. I'm also not convinced that grading correlates fully with success - I've seen lots of cases where women have had very low grade embies returned and it has been successful. I miscarried a top quality blast, whereas my lower graded embies may have had a better chance of success. Its the IVF headfuck.

optimistic fluid shock. I hope you are not feeling too poorly with it? It isn't time to let it go, it is the wrong time to go further forward. What a disappointment, but new year, fresh start - once the disappointment passes it might not be such a bad thing.

flowers for everyone, seems there is a lot of sadness and difficulty at present.

Fuck it <grouphugs>

Fish.x (who is running away like crazy before anyone hurts her for the group hug, while sprinkling.....)

eurochick Sat 07-Dec-13 08:43:42

optimistic I'm not surprised you are not feeling optimistic! More waiting is horrible.

fish when I had the insomnia, bizarrely, I didn't feel tired although I was only sleeping a few hours a night. It is horrible though.

beetle so many people are ignorant about what IVF involves, and don't realise that it isn't a guaranteed way to get a baby.

I thought they had diagnosed an infection as the reason for what went wrong? Are they suggesting that the cervix opened a bit and let the infection climb? I think I'd want more answers in your shoes. I have no idea what would happen with mc if the cervix is effectively sewn shut! You are being amazingly stoic through all this.

<launches self into grouphug>

AFM, I got the call from the clinic yesterday and 3 out 4 fertilised, so a good rate (last time we had 4, 2 fertilised). ET will be Sunday. I hope my bits recover by then. I am still feeling rather bruised at the moment.

chocolocodowninacapulco Sat 07-Dec-13 10:00:47

euro brilliant fertilisation news! Three out of four is great. How many will you put back? Sorry to hear about the soreness.

fish Poor you with the insomnia, is your scan on the 12th? Have you managed to resist doing any more tests?

tame how are you doing now? <hugs> I hope the painful bleeding has stopped.

cups glad to hear you can get going again soon. What will your protocol be this time?

pip that's great news about how supportive work are being. It will help make things less stressful, which can only be a good thing.

hat welcome to the madhouse. fgrin. I have just done my fourth round of ICSI, was there anything in particular you wanted to know? I stopped drinking quite a long time ago but for me it was just easier to not drink at all and although I still miss it sometimes ,it's not too bad most of the time.

bunny Great that you've got the go-ahead, hopefully it'll fly by.

brooks hopefully your Mr Brooks can enjoy some time to yourselves, that doesn't involve obsessing over IVF every waking moment. Hope you're doing okay , it's a really tough time I know.

bugger that's great that you're going to be able to take time off from work too.

badhair Not long until you start now then! fsmile. The cost of the drugs is a bit of a shock isn't it?! This time we got ours from Asda and they're cost price.

nobeer sorry to hear about the gastro. Hope you're feeling better now. It's good that you will be getting some tests done soon and then hopefully get going again very soon.

maryp Great news that your FET is on Monday, as someone else said they wouldn't go for it with this embryo if they didn't think it was worth it and they have to be happy with them to freeze them. Excited for you!

optimistic really sorry to hear that things didn't go to plan and hope you're feeling okay after what sounds like quite a traumatic procedure and series of events.

beetle well done on being so brave at your appointment. That sounds frustrating that the consultants can't agree on what might have happened. I think you're doing brilliantly and I'm just sorry that I can't give you a hug in real life. You absolutely should still come on here and keep talking to us.

<Waves to everyone else>

AFM, not a lot going on really ... Am debating when to start testing. Lots of things I have read have said that people have got positives at this point, 5dp5dt, but my OTD isn't until next Saturday 14th, which will be 17 days after egg collection and 12 days after transfer. Hmmm, it's a tough one. We have nice relaxing weekend at home for once, with no clinic visits, so I'm going to try to get a big chunk of Christmas shopping done today wander around aimlessly and have a take away tonight. Bliss. I really am getting old fwink

Lifeasafish Sat 07-Dec-13 10:10:48

euro that's great! Did the embryoscope show up anything or is it too early? I hope your bits heal by then and I'm excited for you ET

I wasn't feeling tired until Thursday then yesterday I was exhausted as I am today. I've acupuncture poppy seeds in my ears since Thur and I've been shattered since then. Should have left well enough alone.

<hugs euro back. Snores softly on her shoulder>

Lifeasafish Sat 07-Dec-13 10:17:38

Hey choco!

Re testing I've got both my positives at 5dp5dt. I just needed to know. I also carefully timed my testing so if it wasn't good news I had a few days at home. Be warned even if you get a positive it'll be so faint you will spend hours staring at it crossed eyed. And I used very cheap tests.

Tests and moi - I nearly caved and bought a clear blue digi yesterday as I really want to see if its gone to 2-3 weeks. But the fear of that not showing and the end result made me put it down. Last time I tested was last Sunday.

I got a test strip for a quid instead, pissed on it (only 2 hrs after last piddle) and the pregnancy line came up first. I've never seen that before.
It will have to do until Thursday.

It's terror that keeps me away. I'm still fairly zen. Cannot react to shit anyhow as I'm too fucking tired. angry

talulahbelle Sat 07-Dec-13 10:40:08

Hey euro will be thinking of you when you get to ET tomorrow. Fingers crossed it goes well.

choco I got an incredibly faint line at 10dpo, a slightly more obvious one at 12dpo, but it wasn't obviously there until 14dpo. I will be lurking and waiting to hear your result.

fish sorry to hear about the insomnia. How fair alone will you be on your scan?

AFM - after the euphoria of a good scan at 6+2, I started with a bit of brown spotting last night and this morning. Pregnancy symptoms seem to be less obvious too. So I am thinking the worst while hoping for the best, my next scan is a week on Monday at 8+2.

Lifeasafish Sat 07-Dec-13 12:43:22

I'll be 6 weeks exactly.

Tal - the time I was on the IVF pregnancy thread I think most people were having brown sludge. One of the posters pram (who you may know) always used to say - embrace the sludge as its not going anywhere. There were about 5 people who got in including beetle if I remember correctly. Ironically, I didn't.

Anyhow easy for me to say but try not to panic. Re pregnancy symptoms I've noticed that bar the insomnia it seems to come in waves, so not permanent at all and my theory is that it is hormone surges.

Can you call your local EPU? You usually have to get referred through a GP or A and E but every area is different. Just to put your mind at rest. I think general advice is no need to worry unless it is bright red.

eurochick Sat 07-Dec-13 18:07:32

fish I have no idea. The clinic was supposed to call me today to say how they were going, but they didn't. I'm still somewhat disinterested and so didn't bother to chase. We'll find out tomorrow when we go for transfer.

Sorry to hear the insomnia is still affecting you. sad

tal the worrying never stops, does it.

choc I've got a very faint positive on an internet cheapy at 12dpo each time. A more visible one at 14dpo. I'm not normally a big tester, but on IVF cycles I can't resist - even if it doesn't work out I want to know if the embryo has tried to interract with the uterus in some way (which is what happened on cycles 2 and 3). I know some people are not interested in testing for what could be a chem preg though. How are you feeling?

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sat 07-Dec-13 20:31:01

Fish hope the brown sludge has settled but it sounds like Pram was wise and a bit of a loon

AF is here. I have to call the clinic on Monday to arrange a cd21 scan and start stabbing on that day.

I can't help feeling that I've maybe rushed into being signed off work. Please slap me and reassure me that rest and relaxation will help the IVF to work (even if it's a lie) wink

chocolocodowninacapulco Sat 07-Dec-13 20:58:25

life I've got the ear seeds too, aren't they meant to be to reduce stress? <racks brain for acupuncturist's explanation ...>. Sorry you're struggling so much with the evil tiredness. Well done for not doing another digi. Thanks for the advice re testing - OTD is next Sat, so that would be the 'easiest' day if it's bad news.

tal as the others say, the brown sludge is very common and I guess the symptoms do come and go. Fingers crossed that everything is going to be ok, you're in my thoughts.

euro that's pretty rubbish that the clinic didn't get in touch, although I know you have said you're not bothered. I understand what you mean about wanting to know if it worked, however fleetingly. I bought some tests today, so am going to start tomorrow - I got some own brand ones that say they detect 15 mlU/ml. It's driving me mad not knowing! I am struggling a bit with the menkulling, I have had some cramps on and off the last couple of days, but nothing like the pinching and stabbing that I had when I got BFNs - so am trying to take that as a good sign. Back in July/August on our last cycle I was absolutely convinced it had worked, so not sure what to think this time. Who knows what symptoms the drucks cause! Have you got a provisional time for ET tomorrow?

bugger have a slap! The rest and relaxation will do you good, of course it will and if work have okayed it and you won't go mad not working, then go for it [fsmile*]. Great that you can get started on Monday, let the stabbing begin.

WannabeMaryPoppins Sat 07-Dec-13 21:47:43

tal I had brown sludge on several occassions when I was pregnant with DS. There was never a problem and it was never really explained. I would get it checked out though just to put your mind at rest if nothing else. And I never had any pregnancy symptoms either so I know exactly how you feel. I actually felt a bit miffed that I never got morning sickness just call me weird
euro good luck for ET tomorrow
choc hold on in there. Keeping everything crossed
fish hope you get some sleep tonight
bugs [slap] any more back chat from you about staying off work and we'll be having serious words grin

BeetleBeetle Sun 08-Dec-13 05:12:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolocodowninacapulco Sun 08-Dec-13 10:07:41

Aaargh! I think I've got a faint, faint line on a first response test ... I meant to get frer, but picked up the wrong ones and they're the normal ones. There's definitely a pale pink line, I've stared at enough stark white lines!

WannabeMaryPoppins Sun 08-Dec-13 10:14:52

OMG choco that is soooooo exciting!!!!!!

Lifeasafish Sun 08-Dec-13 10:47:58

shock grin at * choco* woohoo! That's brill. Hold it up near a window and I find the line gets darker after a few hours (yes, yes I know).

euro wishing you huge bundles of good luck today. I've been finding disinterest makes it all easier - I think nobeer mentioned it as self preservation. I have my fingers crossed for you.

bugs pram is crackers but she was right, her personification of the sludge would have been fully hilarious if it wasn't so scary. Bugs, you need a boxset to get into. Once that starts you'll no longer feel so guilty. My guilt evaporated on my return to work I might add.

tal i hope all is ok. I also would like to point out that when I MC'd there was no brown whatsoever. Not even spotting and the pain was horrendous even if I hadn't known it was coming I would have known when it started.

choco the ear has about 200 different things, I'm wondering if they hit the wrong spot to be honest. Mine is for insomnia, yours probably is for stress. I wish I opted for stress because I reckon they have hit both insomnia and exhaustion remedies which isn't helping.

Speaking of which... I decided to turn things around and got in at 3am from the hen party blush, it was great lots of fun etc. mrfish said I was snoring like a tank which I never do and I woke him up but hell, he was welcomed to my daily world.
So, let's see if I'm up at 3 am tonight...

BrookerC Sun 08-Dec-13 10:56:56

Flying visit to say woohoo choco omfg! Grinning like a Cheshire Cat here you for lovely grin grin
Hope you have a lovely & smooth transfer today euro

Fabuluce Sun 08-Dec-13 12:04:14

gringringrinChocs gringringrin

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Sun 08-Dec-13 12:39:17

Wow Choco!! Amazing news gringrin

Good luck Euro, great fertilisation. Hope transfer goes well.

I've got my mum staying so just a flying visit. Hope everyone is well.

talulahbelle Sun 08-Dec-13 13:35:50

Oo choco how exciting!

Euro I hope ET goes well.

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. No more spotting (yet) and I am feeling decidedly sicky and icky. A week tomorrow and it's my next scan. It's going to be a long long week.

BeetleBeetle Sun 08-Dec-13 18:05:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick Sun 08-Dec-13 18:08:38

choc that's great news!

AFM, well the transfer was smooth. It's the first time I have had a female gynae and it was great - I barely felt it.

However, the rest of it wasn't so good. Two of the three were not dividing properly. One had only reached a 3 cell by today and was dividing abnormally. In the other, the DNA was dividing as it should and making little parcels, but no new cell walls were being formed around it. So basically they were both very genetically abnormal. The other one was dividing but was yet again a slow grower. I asked the embryologist what was going wrong. He pointed the finger at the age of my eggs and mentioned donor eggs. I cried (I never cry). The slow one is back but I don't hold out much hope.

We will do one more "throw everything at it" cycle after this, but I think we are nearing the end of the road. Very sad.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sun 08-Dec-13 18:26:32

Oh Euro that's really sad to hear. Don't make any big decisions until you see how this one goes. Could the same thing have happened to the other embies but you only know now due to the embryoscope? Take it easy for the 2ww. They wouldn't have put one back if it had zero chance of working.

MotorcycleMama Sun 08-Dec-13 20:07:44

Can I just jump in to say congratulations to choco flowers !!

I know that DE IVF isn't for everybody, which I understand, but can I just say that at 26 weeks pregnant, any reservations I may have had before treatment have completely dissolved.

Good luck to all of you on this thread - it is never easy, and wish you all success.

chocolocodowninacapulco Sun 08-Dec-13 21:07:16

euro hang on in there lovely. You always sound so strong, but it's hard to keep that up all the time and you're bound to be disheartened after today. As bugger says they wouldn't put an embryo back if they didn't have any expectation that it could continue to develop. I don't want to offer any more platitudes as I don't want to patronise or annoy you.

tal really pleased to hear you haven't had any more spotting and glad you're feeling rough IYSWIM.

Thank you lovely motor xx fgrin

Thank you all for the congrats, I think I must have looked at the test over 50 times today! Although DH is obviously very happy, he is holding back until he sees it confirmed on a digi - men, honestly! fconfused

BrookerC Sun 08-Dec-13 21:22:37

euro feeling your pain. The embryoscope sounds as though it is providing more information than you've had before wish my clinic used it and it's a double edged sword. The detail gained is obviously very significant but it doesn't necessarily confirm or discount any embryo. As many have said on here before top grades don't always make it & some lower grades do. You're PUPO at the minute and who knows? Sending loads of sticky vibes your way x
tal pleased to hear the spotting has disappeared. We're here all week lady! Long may you feel icky & sicky. x
choco still fgrin fgrin on your behalf
motor hello darling! Congrats on hitting the 26 week mark! I am so chuffed for you & Mr M. We are all working hard to join you grads. xx

BrookerC Sun 08-Dec-13 21:33:30

fabbie finally ffs I am so sloooow! I baked your blackberry bakewell today. However, I made a schoolgirl error & chucked all the blackberries I had bought into the mix. I ended up with a gorgeous tasting but soggy cake <more pudding than cake tbh> It tastes fantastic & the smell of the orange boiling really made the house feel Christmassy. I have only baked twice with my new shiny Kenwood but my DH has been well impressed! Now need inspiration for my many tonnes of home grown rhubard that are lurking in the freezer...

wishwash Sun 08-Dec-13 23:18:32

De lurking to say oh my fricking oojabar CHOCO. You did it girl! I'm willing that faint line to get as dark as a dark thing! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek xxx

B4byPlease Sun 08-Dec-13 23:50:07

Hi, I'm new on here. Mind if I join you? I had my first consultation on Saturday for my IVF at Bourn, my treatment will start in Jan.

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 07:09:28

euro you have answers. I'm so sorry to hear this I hope you and mr euro are ok. It does change things I guess and if this cycle isn't successful I guess you will do a throw everything cycle?
I know you were already thinking long term, it may be worth shelving all those thoughts of you can and concentraing on this embie and yourself. Look after yourself.
I am hoping with all my might that this embie stays and thats the problem resolved. It is possible that it will behave properly in its own environment.

AFM: good news is I have slept 9-6am. Bad news is I have brown sludge this morning sad. However, I am clutching with boths hands:
1. I never had it last time, so maybe this is a good thing.
2. When The miscarriage started there was no brown business whatsoever.
3. Its as common as an umbrella on a rainy day.
4. I was very active yesterday.

I did cramp a fair amount yesterday, nothing too concerning but more pinful than normal. I am going to guess burying down rather than anything sinister, purely for my peace of mind.

motor good to see you! My gosh 26 weeks? I try not to count so didn't realise how far everyone was. I hope you are excited and keeping well.

Hello baby of course you can join, the more the merrier!

Fish.x

BeetleBeetle Mon 09-Dec-13 07:35:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 07:51:12

Hey beetle how are you doing?

My scan is on Thursday so not too long. 6 weeks seems to be a common time for sludge according to dr google. I am taking the advice I gave to tal and I'm not panicking yet, although I am letting rush hour die down before I leave the house.

Incidentally I realised yesterday that I may have been under counting how far along I am? Last period was on the 31st Oct so I make it 5 weeks and 3 days. But I used an actual IVF calculator yesterday inputting ET detail - 15th Nov 5d embie it gave 6 weeks exactly.

Not hugely important but as my embie died at 5 weeks last time its a bit reassuring to know I may be out of that period and this frostie(s) may have a heartbeat.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place, its just I'm scared of the AN threads and I know there is experience here. I will leave after the scan if it goes well. (That's not a threat I promise!)

BeetleBeetle Mon 09-Dec-13 07:51:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeetleBeetle Mon 09-Dec-13 08:04:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 08:17:09

I had thought the scan was booked a little early which is what made me double check. Last cycle I was about 2 months away from a period at ET so I never check LMP and had forgotten about IVF dates being different blush.

We transferred 2 due to funding issues.

Egg buddies just 'geddit'. I also feel like my presence is a bad omen to anyone who hasn't had any problems so I'll leave it a while before I join elsewhere. I had dinner with a newly pregnant friend recently (same gestation as me) and I was so jealous of her complete happiness and lack of worry. I just couldn't talk names, gender and maternity wear.

nobeer Mon 09-Dec-13 09:04:15

Choco that's very exciting! fgrin

So sorry euro. I hate hate hate it when they do the head tilt "well, at your age...". We're quite conscious of our bloody age thank you very much without them needing to remind us! Good luck with next cycle and have a think about donor eggs. It's not for everyone but I've read some very positive outcomes on here like motor and pram (waves if she's lurking).

Motor 26 weeks, that's brilliant news! So happy for you.

Brooker you domestic goddess, you! Beetle that recipe sounds delicious. But rhubarb hard to come by round my way!

B4by welcome!

nobeer Mon 09-Dec-13 09:06:50

Fish hang around as long as you like. We like your company fsmile Good luck with scan this week, got everything crossed for you.

eurochick Mon 09-Dec-13 10:58:08

Thanks all. We have already decided against DE/DS (we had this discussion right at the beginning of our investigations) but we might consider adoption.

Welcome B4by.

talulahbelle Mon 09-Dec-13 10:59:54

euro you are PUPO today - fingers crossed the one that you transferred takes. If not, I can honestly say that DE IVF feels exactly like your own, I have a lot of worrys about pregnancy, but the donation of one cell at the start isn't one of them.

Today I woke up feeling seriously sick, dragged myself into work but I don't think I'm doing much good here. I keep telling myself it's a good sign. If I'm bad tomorrow it will be a visit to the GP and hopefully getting signed off.

Badhairday76 Mon 09-Dec-13 13:22:00

Euro - I've been thinking of you all morning. You poor thing. I am keeping everything crossed that your embie becomes your much wanted baby. We are all rooting for you. Am sending you a big virtual hug and positive vibes.

Choco - congratulations!!!!!! Great news x

Sorry, can't scroll up, but think its you, Fish who is worried about brown sludge. Just wanted to say that I had loads of it when I was pregnant with my DS. I went to the EPU twice cos was getting worried, but all okay. It's true that you only need to worry if it's bright red or 'prune juice' coloured. I've lost three pregnancies and didn't get the sludge with any of those, only with my DS who is perfect, so try not to worry too much. It's ridiculous saying that though, I know, since I know I will be a nervous wreck if I am lucky enough to get another BFP through IVF. I was at a music class today looking enviously at all the pregnant women, worrying how they could look so relaxed. Sigh....

I am all set to start on the Down Regging on Friday. The sight of all the needles is kind of horrifying me, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I've been feeling rough for the last fortnight - snotty, fluey, upset stomach etc - and everybody keeps nodding sympathetically and saying 'it's the drugs' when I haven't even had them yet. Blimey!

Welcome B4by. I am about to do my first IVF as well x

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Mon 09-Dec-13 14:22:55

Stabbing wi'll commence on 30th December.

Welcome baby. This is my first cycle of IVF too and I've found lots of support here.

WannabeMaryPoppins Mon 09-Dec-13 16:02:40

Well ladies, I am now well and truly PUPO! grin We have two embies on board who are hopefully snuggling for the next ten months. The transfer was a bit uncomfortable but not painful so we just have to wait now. I have been give two hcg shots - one for today and one for thursday - as they are supposed to encourage implantation. Never heard of that before or had it with the previous transfers but if it helps, then lets get stabbing. Back next Monday for them to check my hormone levels and then OTD is the 23rd as if I am going to last that long

euro my heart sank when I read your post and I am sorry to hear that your transfer was not the positive experience you were hoping for. I had a really good chat with the accupuncturist today as I was concerned about my c grade embies. She told me that all these gradings and examinations are taken at just one moment in time. In an hour or a day later things can look completely different and that we shouldn't waste our energy worrying about things that we can't control or change. She also said these are all new technologies but people have been around for millions of years and no one knows if we come from an A or a C grade embie or one that took a bit longer to develop. I certainly don't want to play down your fears, just wanted to let you know what she said because it certainly helped me and maybe it could help you too. You are PUPO and as the others said, they wouldn't have done the transfer it they didn't think there was a realistic chance of it sticking. So I'm keeping everything crossed for us that we can keep this thread's BFP snowball rolling [hugs]

fish I too would love it if you kept us updated smile

Hi to b4by and welcome to the thread. Lets hope your stay is short and sweet.

Waves to everyone else x

eurochick Mon 09-Dec-13 16:56:51

Hurrah Wannabe. How "old" are your embies? Mine are 1dp3dt, so 4 days "old" now.

WannabeMaryPoppins Mon 09-Dec-13 17:02:26

5 daysgrin

eurochick Mon 09-Dec-13 17:04:49

So close!

WannabeMaryPoppins Mon 09-Dec-13 18:23:37

I know! Let's hope it's a good sign for both of us

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 18:32:36

I need reassurance (and I don't give a shut if it's platitudes). Sludge hasn't returned but I'm cramping and have been cramping all day.

I'm worried now. Mr fish wants to do a digi (I never did do one at all) to see no of weeks but I'm a bit scared to do it.

I emailed the clinic who basically said contact us if you get bright red blood otherwise see you Thur.

I don't know what to do.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Mon 09-Dec-13 18:35:40

I've said on my paperwork that unless it's really necessary I don't want to know what grade ours are. I'll take all the advice the embryologist wants to give me and I'll just do as I'm told / advised.

I've also had acupuncture today. I really love my woo needles lady, she's fab.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Mon 09-Dec-13 18:36:58

Fish Could you pee on it and give it to DH then go out so you don't know the result?

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 09-Dec-13 18:53:05

Oh fish, honey, sorry you're feeling so insecure. Maybe you should do the test, but only if it will reassure you... <helpful>. Having been there with the awful digis before, like you, I'm not really sure what to advise, as we both know the heartache they can cause. Ok, I've changed my mind <resolute>, I would go with the ignorance is bliss route and not do them.

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 09-Dec-13 19:00:43

Congrats maryp on being PUPO - woo hoo! Your embryologist sounds very wise.

Good news about the stabbing starting soonbugs fsmile

badhair, that's great that you are starting on Friday and, yes, it will all become scarily normal very soon.

talulah sorry you're feeling so rough <hugs>

Welcome B4by

Waves to everyone else

I am feeling reassuringly nauseous and trying to contain myself until I can ring the clinic on Saturday on OTD.

fab lovely, thinking of you for tomorrow <big hug> xxxx

WannabeMaryPoppins Mon 09-Dec-13 19:14:13

Are you off work euro? I'm off today & tomorrow but back on Wednesday. Have got a cold as well so will definitely be taking it easy

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 19:16:52

Clear blue done, 3+ weeks with only a 2.5 hr bladder.

I feel a bit reassured but I'm still in pain with cramps.

mary and euro yippee for PUPO I'm really hoping we get some graduates for Xmas, the good of the thread and my own selfish reasons so I can start a wtf is this in my knickers thread without taking up this one.

talulahbelle Mon 09-Dec-13 19:17:20

fish cramps are normal at 6weeks. Horrible but normal. I had some lots of cramps and took a paracetamol which sorted them - made me worry less. No sludge sounds good, just focus on your scan on Thursday. I would avoid the digi - I've still got one here I refused to pee on as I am scared the weeks wouldn't go up.

MotorcycleMama Mon 09-Dec-13 19:23:04

fish I'm de-lurking again just to say that period pain-type cramps and brown sludge were very much part of my early pregnancy and went away by about week 10. Your body is going through quite a dramatic process, so it is quite normal. I know from experience how difficult it is to relax and have confidence after a pregnancy loss, but please remember that you are more likely to go on to have a healthy pregnancy than for it to fail. Fingers crossed for you. Xx

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 09-Dec-13 19:29:23

Well done fish, hope that you feel reassured. I have read loads and loads of posts too(saddo) about the cramps and how horrendous they can be.

twinklestar2 Mon 09-Dec-13 19:41:11

Delurking to give euro a big fat squeeze. Sending you positive vibes love x

eurochick Mon 09-Dec-13 19:42:36

wannabe no, I haven't been off apart from EC day on any of my cycles. I do better when keeping busy!

fish anyone who has been through pregnancy loss is fully entitled to menkul as much as they need to. Great result on the digi. smile

eurochick Mon 09-Dec-13 19:44:38

Thanks twinks. I hope you are doing ok. x

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 20:04:19

That's twice I've cried tonight. Once when I saw the test and again when I read the messages from you lovely ladies. It was a off date digital that made me start to realise I had miscarried last time. Hence my avoiding it.

I know it can still be bad news but it tallies at present so I'll try to stick with that. Earlier I though phew, I now need some wine... hmm lack of alcohol isn't helping. I was the only soberton at a hen this weekend. And it was FREE BOOZE. I drank water in protest.

Best reassurance award goes to choco maybe you should do the test but only if it will reassure you i need a quotes board! And thank you. Is it wrong that I'm wishing I could share your morning sickness?

tal I didn't think of drugging up so it stopped the menkulling. What a great idea! Off to get some drugs.

Thank you motor I think I'm most scared of the process of mc'ing again. It took me so badly last time I do not want to have to cope with the heartache. I've been so calm through this and it's the first time I've actually panicked and worried or have been scared. I was detached before.

mary that's very spot on and practical advice from your doc. Perfectly logical to me and buggs I think your low information is a great idea as well.

Umm euro thanks and you really are hardcore only off for EC? I really am a sap.

One last thing flowers for the on going support. And why oh why do period/miscarriage/pregnancy symptoms all have to be the same? Did the one who designed us have no imagination?

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 09-Dec-13 20:07:46

fish I'll happily share it fwink. I have had nausea early on in both previous pregnancies with losses, so who knows!

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 20:13:15

It's a different pregnancy. I have been and do remember that and so will you. Especially as you've now just burst my morning sickness bubble.

No point in feeling like shit if its not reassuring. Today is the first day I have not had nausea. Though its possible that I've not noticed as I've been in pain.

I wish we could all fast forward our limbo's.

chocolocodowninacapulco Mon 09-Dec-13 20:28:59

Sorry fish, I didn't mean to say the wrong thing confused sad. I'm going to bow out of the discussion now before I put my foot in it even more. Sorry.

Lifeasafish Mon 09-Dec-13 21:00:06

choco that reads quite sternly when the tone in my head was humorous! I knew what you meant don't worry.

When I said morning sickness bubble I meant you burst my envy of yours. I just get a bit of nausea not morning sickness.

I've saved your earlier reassurance post as it had tickled me pink... Dodgy humour over here.

<pulls choco in for a bear hug>

BrookerC Mon 09-Dec-13 23:00:04

Evening all
Well done on your PUPO status maryp!
Fish sending you a massive cuddle
beetle the cakey pudding is on its way lovely - nom nom! - thanks for the rhubarb recipe
fabbie will be thinking of you & your family tomorrow flowers
euro hope you're doing ok
choco fgrin fgrin

Will catch up properly tomorrow

WannabeMaryPoppins Tue 10-Dec-13 07:15:07

fish congrats on the digi test. During my pregnancy with DS I had cramps too. I was told that this is the body adjusting to the pregnancy and your womb starting to stretch so that your baby has room to grow. Hope that helps.

resipsa Tue 10-Dec-13 07:26:46

Hi guys. Sorry for being such a poor buddy. Had to step away;you know the drill.

Lots going on.

Fab - so sorry to read about your Dad. Sounds like he really lived his life.

Expat - so sorry also to read your news. You sound far braver than me.

Fish -congrats
Choc, MaryP, Euro - fingers crossed.

Only had time to skim last few so if missed anyone, sorry.

I'm in hell at 11dp3dt on first DE cycle. OTD tomorrow. Am convinced it didn't work. Am exhausted by it all.

WannabeMaryPoppins Tue 10-Dec-13 09:01:45

Thanks res keeping everything crossed for you tomorrow

NoCupcakesOrCocktails Tue 10-Dec-13 09:32:08

Res lovely to see you. I've got everything crossed for a good result for you tomorrow. Are you POAS or is it a blood test?

MaryP and Euro congrats on being PUPO!!

Euro I'm sorry that it doesn't sound as if the embies where developing well. It sounds like you got a lot of info from the embryoscope so I'm hopeful they have picked the best one for you. Try not to think of the next step yet, I won't go on about how it only takes one etc but we have all read/heard about it. I really hope that will be you x

Choco how are you doing? I'm still v excited for you smile

Fab hope you are managing ok

Hi to Bugs, Brooker, Nobeer, Tame, Fish, Twinks, Bunny, Talulah and welcome B4by smile

Sorry to not name check more. I've not been on in a few days due to having a mini meltdown. I had my teach on Friday, all was going ok until the nurse casually mentioned that they have too many people on long protocol who will be due EC early jan so now they can't start us over Christmas. I was so angry as I had been promised we would start then. Also my DSIL is meant to be having a planned c section today for their DC2 (who was unplanned and conceived on the pill angry), I've just heard it might get pushed to tomorrow now due to emergencies. I'm feeling so upset for obvious reasons plus it's my birthday tomorrow. I really hope it goes well and I'm sure once the baby is here I'll be ok about it. At the moment I feel sick to my stomach.

Lifeasafish Tue 10-Dec-13 09:54:43

Morning all

respisa it's good to see you and I've my fingers crossed for you. I'm sorry to hear you are exhausted with it all I truly hope this is your time. flowers for the doubt and worry. I do not need to remind you that this is a different cycle and a newer younger embie.

nocups what a disappointment. I wrote about the horrid changes of plans when tame (waves if she is reading) had her disappointment. You have a lot there so flowers to you and take it easy. I am so sorry that this has happened at the worst possible time. There is no need to feel any guilt or anything that is shit.

Waves to Tal, Choco, mary, euro and anyone I have missed.

AFM - thank you for the reassurances re cramping. It really doesn't help that it feels exactly like my period warning cramps and was very bad yesterday. I feel better this morning - my resilience is back (fuck all I can do and all that). Oh and insomnia has left the house and I do not know whether to be happy or sad about it.

resipsa Tue 10-Dec-13 19:39:58

Oh euro; just read back further. My heart aches for you when you talk about the end. I really hope this is your time. FWIW, we used embryoscope and were told at Day 3 that probably none of the others were good enough to freeze (as Grade 3). We ended up at Day 5 with 2 hatching blasts at Grade 2 (now frozen) so they improved as they age. Yours can do the same too.

chocolocodowninacapulco Tue 10-Dec-13 20:01:30

Bonsoir!

Hi res really hoping for the best for you tomorrow. I was wondering what the latest was with your journey. Funny how we have ended up going through this at exactly the same point. I will be 15dpec on Thursday(I guess your equivalent for tomorrow).

Hey brooker how are you doing lovely?

maryp how's the 2ww treating you?

Hey lovely fish fgrin

cups thank you for being excited for me - that's lovely. So sorry you're having a tough time at the moment and it is really crap about your clinic messing you about when you had everything all planned out. I sometimes think that people should only be allowed to work at fertility clinics if they have been through treatment themselves, so that they could understand what it all feels like. Happy birthday for tomorrow in case I forget thanks cake <hugs>

waves to euro badhair nobeer and the rest of the gang.

BrookerC Tue 10-Dec-13 22:31:37

Good evening jolly choco! Are you still POASing? When is OTD? How are you & Mr Choco feeling? So many blummin' questions! fblush
res it's so lovely to hear from you. I too was wondering how you are doing. The whole headfuck that is ivf is sheer exhaustion personified. I have some idea how you feel. Have everything crossed for you tomorrow. And as you well know, you can't trust any symptoms <or lack of> that you may be having. Don't forget that we're here for you whatever the outcome xx
Oh cups I'm sorry you have to experience more waiting. It's so unfair. I know how difficult it is but try & enjoy yourself for a few weeks' in the knowledge that this time next month you will be stabbing yourself silly. I really hope you can enjoy your birthday - sending wine & cake your way x
fishywishy embrace the new found resilience! Hope you can keep busy until Thursday. You must be exhausted.
bugs great news on starting the treatment. Sometimes less is more on the info front and it definitely reduces the menkulling via DR Google but in my experience it can be difficult to let go & not find out as much as poss. control freak. Good luck!
Hi to euro maryp nobeer beetle tal badhair bunny tame
flowers fabbie
Waves to twinks
Welcome b4by smile
Nothing to report from me (thanks for asking choco). <Still> enjoying a break from ttc. AF is due on Friday (that's 4 weeks since my negative - I can't believe how quickly it has passed..) Will try naturally <ha! Biggest joke ever!> for the next couple of months until we cycle again (FET or full - not sure yet) probably Feb/Mar. Must start prepping for our consult next Friday...
Nighty, night all x

resipsa Wed 11-Dec-13 07:13:12

Hey Brooker. Sorry, I must have missed your neg test. 4 weeks on you sound upbeat which is good. I remember the feeling far too well which is why I chickened out of POAS this morning. What a coward. Having a pre-Xmas lunch with DH later and didn't want to ruin it. Pathetic really.

Hi to everyone else.

Choc - so pleased for you but also very envy.

BrookerC Wed 11-Dec-13 07:27:39

Not pathetic res - self preservation. Really hope this is the one. Best of luck - let us know how you get on x

talulahbelle Wed 11-Dec-13 07:39:52

Are you going to test after lunch or wait until tomorrow res ?
Good luck either way.

twinklestar2 Wed 11-Dec-13 09:39:32

Hello everyone

I've been reading but not posting but I've been wanting to tell you all that my frozen cycle worked and I'm so grateful every single day. We found out last Tuesday, we were both so shocked as I truly didn't believe it was going to work and was frantically trying to save money for another go in the new year.

On the Saturday before I started bleeding so I thought it was over. Both hub and I were so down, crying, etc, but then it was only brown blood when I wiped and it was on and off. I had never had that before so I started to feel hopeful although OH was convinced it hadn't work. We were so convinced that it was going to be negative that I tested and left the test on the side and went back to it! Nearly fell off the loo when I saw two lines!!

I've been so frightened to post in case I jinx it but I saw 3+ on the digi yesterday and I'm starting to feel more relaxed about it and I couldn't WAIT to tell you all!

For you symptom spotters I had sharp pain 2 days after transfer and my wee smelt really strong! and I had the brown blood. Only realised afterwards they were prob symptoms!

The grade of the embryo was 4BB. I was convinced it wouldn't stick seeing as the fresh 4AB didn't.

I had Acu, the scratch and the glue.

It had gotten terrible in our house with my husband blaming himself and the pressure was really getting to us both, it was awful. We were preparing ourselves for another crap Xmas.

I know it sounds like a cliche but it worked for me when I had completely given up all hope. My acu lady used to tell me off for being so negative!

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to get everything in in case it helps somebody else. Please ask me any questions if you want to. I know how hard it is and I'm also aware of how fragile this is after 2 and a half years of trying x

Badhairday76 Wed 11-Dec-13 09:51:57

Twinkle!!!! Wooooo hooooooo!! Fantastic news, missus. It really is. Am so pleased for you. I love hearing success stories. I start my first IVF injections on Friday and have been feeling really glum. Your post has reminded me exactly why we are doing this.

Huge congratulations xxxxx

chocolocodowninacapulco Wed 11-Dec-13 09:56:38

Brilliant news twinkle, so pleased for you.

Still fingers crossed for you res

Am still POAS, god, it's addictive! I can't even tell the clinic yet as it's still 3 days until OTD.

resipsa Wed 11-Dec-13 09:57:13

Winkle OMG! Fan-bloody-tastic!! What a Christmas present!!!

I am so very, very pleased for you and understand why are in disbelief given the effort to get here but you thoroughly deserve a very happy and healthy 8 (more) months.

You must tell the old gang cause they will be delighted too.

eurochick Wed 11-Dec-13 10:07:51

twinkle that's amazing news! grin

twinklestar2 Wed 11-Dec-13 10:14:03

Thx badhair and GOOD LUCK. I hope it works for you.

Choco - I have seen you on the aug thread but haven't posted yet! I've done about 5 tests!! It's addictive!

Res - I posted on the other thread today smile Need you over there now! Thx for your congrats, you've been there this whole bloody time so you know how hard it has been!

Euro - I want you to be next missus, so badly X

WannabeMaryPoppins Wed 11-Dec-13 10:48:22

Vorgeschlagene zwinker. Am so so so Players dir XII grin grin grin

WannabeMaryPoppins Wed 11-Dec-13 10:50:22

Am so sorry guys. Forgot to change language on my phone & the predictive texting spewed out some rubbish. What I meant to say was
Congratulations twinks! I am so so so happy for you!smile smile smile grin grin grin

twinklestar2 Wed 11-Dec-13 10:55:39

Thx wannabe! That's the first congratulations I've had in a different language!!

eurochick Wed 11-Dec-13 10:55:51

I thought you sounded a bit drunky for this early in the day!

WannabeMaryPoppins Wed 11-Dec-13 11:32:49

Pass the non alcoholic beer grin

WannabeMaryPoppins Wed 11-Dec-13 11:34:16

Shame,it didn't make sense twinks. So here it is in German
Herzlichen Glückwunsch! Ich freue mich so sehr für dichsmile smile

WannabeMaryPoppins Wed 11-Dec-13 11:35:48

Ooh God what have I started. MN obviously doesn't do umlauts. An going to stop now before it gets ridiculouswink

twinklestar2 Wed 11-Dec-13 12:07:13

fgrin

nobeer Wed 11-Dec-13 12:15:50

¡Felicidades Twinkle! There you've got it in Spanish too fgrin
I'm absolutely delighted for you and Mr Star, enjoy your early Christmas lunch. xx

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Wed 11-Dec-13 17:09:24

I'm not very good at foreign languages so I'll give you it in my native tongue (Yorkshire):

Well done Chuck grin

twinklestar2 Wed 11-Dec-13 17:29:26

Thx bugger. I have seen your posts here and there and you sound so much like me, just wretched and want it to happen so badly. I really hope you get your BFP soon xx

MotorcycleMama Wed 11-Dec-13 17:48:23

Congratulations twinkle - fantastic news, especially all you've been through. What a great Christmas present!

Hi also to resipsa brooker beetle nobeer and anyone else I knew on this thread.

Looking forward to new blood on the IVF pregnant thread, so come along choco and fish and twinkle. Beetle is right when she says that the thread is a bit dominated by (very lovely and supportive) IVF mothers with new babies, but there is only one way to address that! All these BFPs are great!

nobeer Wed 11-Dec-13 19:30:16

Hello motor! I'm doing my best to get on over there asap! Hopefully will see you there in New Year. At the mo I'm waiting for immunology tests. The Dr Beer book finally arrived today! Thanks to everyone who recommended it, I've only just started it but I felt myself nodding along to sections already.

Llw2 Wed 11-Dec-13 20:04:48

Congrats twinks that is such lovely news xxxx

BrookerC Wed 11-Dec-13 21:28:07

Well what an amazing, lovely, fantastic piece of news twinks! I am so over the moon for you & Mr T grin xx

twinklestar2 Wed 11-Dec-13 22:05:05

Thank you s

twinklestar2 Wed 11-Dec-13 22:06:45

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and support.

Motor - not feeling confident enough to join yet but I do lurk on those boards. The girls there were really lovely to me when my fresh cycle failed so I know they are a nice bunch.

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 11:09:36

Morning ladies. I had a very disturbed night last night (6-7dpEC) with cramping, so I think the embie was trying to implant. It doesn't mean much though. As I've had an mc and 2 chem pregs on our previous round, there has always been implantation/an attempt at implantation before. It's getting it to stick that is the problem.

How is everyone feeling today

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 11:19:25

twinks many congratulations I am over the moon for you and am pleased for your wonderful news!

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 11:21:58

It seems wrong to do this straight after and for that I apologise.

Today I had my 6 week scan and they found an empty sac. The sac is where it should be for 6 weeks so its not a case of it being too early. Im still numb. Shock I guess it will hit me later.

I had already decided to take a year out (I need to get another job) but will hopefully message later or over the week.

Fish.x

twinklestar2 Thu 12-Dec-13 11:30:10

On fish I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. It's my fear too, it's so scary. I don't know why things like this happen to us when we've fought so hard x

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 11:35:45

Oh fish. I'm so sorry. This is so unfair.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Thu 12-Dec-13 11:49:39

Fish make sure you spoil yourselves rotten over the next year. It's incredibly unfair. thanks thanks

talulahbelle Thu 12-Dec-13 12:16:25

I'm so so sorry fish IVF really is hard and incredibly unfair at times.

I'm having a down day too - more brown/red spotting. Next scan on Monday. Sickness and nausea completely gone, but I did take one tablet of Avomine (on GP advice) last night so I'm trying to cling to hope that the vanishing symptoms are linked to that rather than a failing pregnancy.

WannabeMaryPoppins Thu 12-Dec-13 12:17:32

Fish I just don't know what to say. I'm so so so sorry.

BrookerC Thu 12-Dec-13 12:51:09

Oh fish I am so sorry. This ivf journey is so difficult & heart breaking at times. Please look after yourselves. Send a huge hug xx

BeetleBeetle Thu 12-Dec-13 13:13:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nobeer Thu 12-Dec-13 13:22:43

Fish I'm so terribly sorry for you and your DH. Beetle's right, I think cruel is the word. Actually bollocks is the word which came to my mind. Take care lovely lady and give yourself time to recover from this nasty shock. Hugs.

tametortie Thu 12-Dec-13 13:41:46

Fish- I am so sorry. Unfortunately, I know the pain you are feeling and it's indescribable. Sending you lots of love, be kind and gentle with yourself xxx I know this sounds like a bonkers question at the point but are they going to rescan you? Xxx

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 13:47:27

Thanks all. I feel surprisingly optimistic at the moment - it's all I have to give. Plus dr google says it's either way

Scan is next thur on poor mrfish's birthday. I've been told to stick with the crinone. I was am 6w4d.

Though I did get a positive 6 days after ET so implantation must have been on time.

Sorry for proper acknowledgement I just wanted to respond to tame and update on how I'm feeling. Watching a film. Escapism.

tametortie Thu 12-Dec-13 13:57:28

I think sometimes holding on to positivity can be a god send and let's face it, feelings swing from one hour to the next. Enjoy feeling optimistic. Xx you just never know. Until the rescan, I've learnt to reserve judgement.

Been where you are twice before so know the heartache you are feeling.

BeetleBeetle Thu 12-Dec-13 13:58:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tametortie Thu 12-Dec-13 14:00:58

Realistically, you would like to see fetal pole/ toddler etc and 6w4d BUT it's not over till a second scan confirms no progression.

It's a horrible place to be and I am going to throw a platitude into the mix...

Expect the worst, hope for the best.

tametortie Thu 12-Dec-13 14:02:35

Just want to say, I'm sorry I only seem to pop in infrequently but I am keeping up to date, I promise!! X

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 14:53:28

I found the week between my two scan absolutely tortuous. Can you keep busy?

chocolocodowninacapulco Thu 12-Dec-13 15:54:38

Oh fish this damned IVF rollercoaster, so sorry you're having to go through this and fingers crossed that things work out. So sorry xxx

Fabuluce Thu 12-Dec-13 16:10:47

So sorry to hear your news Fish and keeping everything crossed for you <hugs>

resipsa Thu 12-Dec-13 16:32:02

Oh fish. Life's a bitch. So hard for you. I've been there too. That wait between scans is agony as euro says. Not fair.

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 16:33:16

Oh dear I am on a roller coaster. I don't know what to do. The clinic were very pessimistic - prepare for the worst and we will confirm next week although there is a small chance.

3 doctors (2 may have been embryologists as they were blued up. In fact 1 was definitely the guy who did the ET) did the scan. He said sc size was ok but due to dates he would expect to see a fetal pole. The sac is 18mm blighted ovum cannot be confirmed until 25mm or another week. I explicitly asked the nurse if there was any chance of a pregnancy and she said highly unlikely.

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 16:45:31

Sorry posted before I had finished wittering.

He said to keep taking crinone. I am still a bit crampy but no where near what it was on Monday. No mention of lining deteriorating or anything.

Mr fish has taken it really badly. I'm a bit all over the place. Nauseous and cramping.

I've had such a bad week - I cannot go to work reasons for which would out me.

Outside is a mass of Christmas and families and happy people and I do not know if I can stand it. However I do have presents to wrap, things to post, scandal to watch and job hunting to do grin

I probably won't be back until tm I feel this has become my personal writing page and that isn't fair!

resipsa Thu 12-Dec-13 16:59:05

Oh, write away and we'll read. I'd never heard of blighted ovum before it happened to me. Very cruel.
There must still be hope though or they wouldn't have that 25mm cut off.

Sending positive vibes.

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 17:09:14

respisa you must have news? I'm hoping it's happy news?

eurochick Thu 12-Dec-13 17:13:13

Write away fish. Unfortunately many of us have been there and understand and I am sure everyone else empathises!

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 17:15:02

And tal are you ok? Try to stay calm as I said before bleeding especially brown sludge isn't always bad news. Please remember that I never bled or sludged with my August miscarriage while others did and had continued pregnancies. How long until your scan? I'm hoping all is well and everything is just nesting in.

Thank you tame/brooker/ beetle for your thoughts, reassurances stories. I hope I've not missed anyone.

tametortie Thu 12-Dec-13 17:16:22

Respisa- I m also wondering if you have news? Don't want to be insensitive to fish but don't mind asking now she has!!!

Lifeasafish Thu 12-Dec-13 17:20:00

No pressure but I need the good news respisa. Please do not hold back on my behalf - you are not doing me a favour!

wishwash Thu 12-Dec-13 17:54:00

life I am so very sorry. I know I can't say anything that'll make it better but I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

I'm waiting for the news too resp (fingers crossed)

wishwash Thu 12-Dec-13 17:54:42

Oh and congrats twinks flowers

resipsa Thu 12-Dec-13 18:22:55

Don't hold breath waiting for me. I am officially MN's biggest coward. I love my PUPO bubble too much to burst it. Pathetic. 'Twas ever thus; I remember lying in bed until noon on the A Level results day, fielding calls from friends who'd been up since 6. (I finally found out I got 3As - natch! - so in hindsight probably better that I did it alone and so was hated less).

tametortie Thu 12-Dec-13 18:42:16

When is OTD res???

Hatteras Thu 12-Dec-13 19:54:29

Fish so sorry to hear about the scan. It is a horrible situation, which sadly many of us have been in. Thinking of you, enjoy or ignore as much of all the Christmas stuff outside as you want to - it is weird when we are in out little IVF bubbles with all the ups and downs and everything out there just seems to carry on as normal.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Badhairday76 Thu 12-Dec-13 20:48:35

Fish - you poor thing. Thinking of you lots and sending a big virtual hug. Xxx

Bunnygirlie Thu 12-Dec-13 22:57:10

Have been a bit absent but wanted to pop in a send flowers to fish

And Congrats to twink I am so happy for you, you were there at the start of the berries, thrilled we have another one with a BFP!

As for me, approx 17 days till jabbing begins shock

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Thu 12-Dec-13 23:26:45

Hey Bunny I start stabbing on 30th so also in 17 days. We can be junkie buddies grin

BeetleBeetle Fri 13-Dec-13 05:59:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bunnygirlie Fri 13-Dec-13 08:21:25

Ooh buggs a junkie buddy ace! grin Its my first go, have you done it before?

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Fri 13-Dec-13 09:04:13

Nope I'm a drug virgin too. I've been ttc for 3 years and had 3 mc's and 6 months of Clomid egg in which failed. Medically there is no explanation for the mc's. What's your journey so far?

BeetleBeetle Fri 13-Dec-13 14:51:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Fri 13-Dec-13 16:09:08

Not at all Beetle. The first I started bleeding at 9w5d and the baby had stopped growing at 6w6d. The 2nd I had a 'reassurance' scan at 6 week's and saw nothing, returned a week later and saw a blur with a hb. Started brown spotting a week later and another scan showed the blob had only grown 1mm but still had a hb. Despite that it was clear it wasn't developing properly and I mc'd a week later. The 3rd was more of a cp that a mc as I started bleeding only a week after my missed period/ bfp.

We've had all the normal tests the NHS provide and are under Dr Debono who is excellent and thinks IVF will work for us but wants me on aspirin and fragmin from ET onwards.

I've just had a meeting with my boss about being off. Lots of snot and tears which I didn't expect but I feel a lot more at ease with my decision to accept the sick note.

Badhairday76 Fri 13-Dec-13 21:17:55

Hello everybody. I did my first burselin injection today (well, my DP did it for me) and I feel excited to finally be getting going on IVF after so much anxious waiting. All of my colleagues are out on the piss tonight, drinking in the crazy way that only teachers at the end of term seem to do(!) and I felt a little jealous of their boozy revelry. Still, I shall feel smug tomorrow without a hangover! Hope you are all doing okay, ladies, particularly those of you who have had tough times this week. Xxx

wishwash Fri 13-Dec-13 21:43:04

Hi ladies! After being off the IVF train for so long (it's only been since October but it feels like forever) I will be rejoining you all on the journey in January!

I've had clotting tests and swab tests done after my two failed cycles and it has come back as normal. So my doc had suggested we go for anoth frozen cycle with the scratch and also change to injectable progesterone!

I'm so nervous but excited all at the same time. I hope you want me back after being so flakey lately!

smile

eurochick Fri 13-Dec-13 21:56:29

Well done on the 1st injection badhairday! The first is the worst and you are on your way now. smile

Welcome back wish. I had a break from August to December. It felt like longer and did me the power of good.

wishwash Fri 13-Dec-13 22:46:43

Well done on the injection badhair. How did you find it? I found the bruserelin different every day. One day it would be a stinger, the next I wouldn't feel it!

It may sound a bit weird but I'm looking forward to stabbing again!

Bunnygirlie Sat 14-Dec-13 08:27:54

Morning!

Had a traumatic few days with younger cousins announcing pg, had complete meltdown, why does this process have to be so hideous for some sad

beetle short protocol for me (PCO) so I guess I should know if I'm having a happy or sad birthday at the end of Jan!

Bugs sorry to hear about the mcs, it must be hard knowing you can get pg but not knowing why they won't stick if you see what I mean.

My journey has been relatively short compared with some (no clomid needed and paid for operation to speed things up) been off the pill 2 years in feb, hubby has low sperm count and I have PCO and endo, had lap and hyst in October.

Yay to the first injection badhair was it scary? Are you short or long?

Welcome back wish

Lifeasafish Sat 14-Dec-13 09:50:38

Hello all,

Just checking in to let you know I'm still swinging between full hope and full despair. I don't know how I can get through this to be honest.

I keep thinking that maybe the embie implanted a little late or maybe the scan was too early (29 days after et, 6 weeks exactly after my lmp as I obulated at day 9 not mid cycle) and to be honest I am torturing myself. The clinic are pretty certain I was 6w4d at scan and this is no hope.

Goes to show - quality over quantity. I have supposedly very good eggs/embies and seem to get implantation easily, but they do not stick. Chromosome issue maybe? I'll have a consultant meeting in the new year.

Mrfish is struggling too - its just too much.

A very sad fish.x

Fabuluce Sat 14-Dec-13 10:19:10

Lovely Fish you WILL cope because that's what we ivfers do - we are all giving you love, cuddles and hand holds to help you (and knowing what these horrible emotions are like) but ultimately it's in you to do this - we are just the crutches that you can lean on when times get wobbly - you are strong, no matter what you think at the moment.

I have the same problem, I get handsome looking embies but they struggle or fail to implant - I had auto- immune testing and it turns out I have 'issues'. It's not cheap and it's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster finding out that something is wrong but ultimately I feel better knowing and knowing that (hopefully) there's something that can be done about it (when we get to do it again that is).

wishwash Sat 14-Dec-13 12:07:45

Oh fish, I'm so sorry! It is going to be a terrible time but as fab said, you will get through it. We're strong enough to get this far so no matter what we'll push through until we get what we want. You and Mr F just need to stay close and look after each other.

fab for some reason my doc seems against me having auto immune tests and I can't work out why. We've said we'll pay (on nhs as the moment) but he said there's no point but everyone that has them seem to think its worth it! What do you think?

eurochick Sat 14-Dec-13 13:25:43

<fishhugs>

wish drs seem to be in two camps on immunes - very pro or vehemently against and think it is all rubbish. The HFEA is in the latter camp and don't say very flattering things about it on the website. It makes huge amounts of sense to me though, and ultimately, a third of infertility cases are unexplained so there is so much that cannot be explained by current mainstream tests.

wishwash Sat 14-Dec-13 15:18:16

It makes sense to me too euro. I don't understand why they think it's rubbish if so many cases of infertility are 'unexplained' and, from what I've read, so many cases have been solved by immune tests.
I think I'll push for them if my next from and fresh cycles fail. I know they cost ridiculous amounts of money which may come back clear anyway but I feel it's worth it.

DP had a little to drink last night and was telling me how much I mean to him and that he wants a baby with me so badly he doesn't care how it happens. He said If IVF fails then it's our fate to help a child out there who is in danger and needs us. He made me feel so positive, regardless of how this all turns out smile

Sorry, soppyness over with grin

Badhairday76 Sat 14-Dec-13 16:30:42

Hello everybody. Sorry that so many of us are having bad days. I was having a great one until one of my best friends announced she was 16 weeks pregnant but was too scared to tell me. I feel a bit shit because have been bending her ear about all the pregnancy losses and IVF (and wouldn't have been so self-indulgent, has I known she was preggers herself). Sigh. Am very happy for her but could have done without her moaning how hard she was finding the pregnancy! Oh well. Another buserilin injection for me to look forward to tonight. To those of who who were asking if it was scary - no, it really wasn't. My DP did the injection for me and it was fine. It was a bit stingy afterwards and I came up in a small rash, but it was totally fine. I'm relatively okay with needles (although still don't fancy sticking them into myself!) six weeks after I had my DS I developed a severe breast abscess which I used to have to go and have drained in hospital every three days. The pain from that was so excruciating that nothing since then has ever been as bad! I feel v thirsty today though - seasoned IVFers; is that normal? X

Badhairday76 Sat 14-Dec-13 16:32:23

Missed your message Wish - your DP sounds lovely. Mine is too, but is very 'Blunt Australian' about things. So glad you are feeling more positive xxx

eurochick Sat 14-Dec-13 17:21:28

wish what a lovely thing for your partner to say. smile

Ouch badhair that sounds nasty. Sorry about the difficult announcement. I'm glad you are finding the injections ok though.

Badhairday76 Sat 14-Dec-13 18:29:29

Thanks Euro - it was truly horrendous. I managed to breastfeed through it but it was without doubt my toughest physical challenge. Just did the second injection and it was fine. Stings a bit afterwards in an itchy kind of way, but, for those of you who've yet to start injecting, it's nowt to worry about. Honest! I feel psychologically better for finally getting going with it all.

chocolocodowninacapulco Sun 15-Dec-13 07:11:39

Morning!

badhair well done on having started your jabs, it feels good to be doing something proactive doesn't it? I was always really, really thirsty on buserelin and my whole body felt kind of parched and eyes were really dry too. Just make sure you drink loads of water <teaches grandmother to suck eggs>.

wish lovely to see you back. I'm glad your tests came back normal, are you sticking with Mr D? I agree, your DP sounds lovely.

fish As I've said, so sorry you are going through this. Another hand hold from me. We are all here for you lovely, if you need us.

euro how are things with you?

waves to everyone else.

AFM, all fine. I kind of don't feel I should be posting here still as I don't want to be insensitive, but I feel a bit lost without you! The AN thread is a bit scary though and the IVF worriers almost all have babies now.

WannabeMaryPoppins Sun 15-Dec-13 10:43:07

Happy Sunday girls.

Badhair congratulations on starting the stabbing. The first one is always the hardest.
Fish How are you today? I have no idea how you are coping with all this. You are one very strong lady. Hang on in there and I'm keeping everything crossed that you get good news on Thursday.
wish your DP sounds lovely. Its at times like this that you know you are with the right person.
choc nice to see you. How is everything going?
euro how are you doing? when is your OTD?

Waves to everyone else.

AFM nothing really to report. Just trying to keep busy and distracted. Had a bit of a wobble yesterday seems like yesterday was crappy for a few of us but feeling a lot more positive this morning. Have decided to POAS on Friday - would like to do it a bit earlier, but I had to do an HCG injection on Thursday and Dr. Google advises leaving it at least 7 days before testing. Aaarrrggggh!

eurochick Sun 15-Dec-13 11:29:21

badgirl I think dehydration is a normal side effect. As choc says, keep drinking!

choc I think it takes a lot of posters a while to move on. I straddled Conception and AN for several weeks when I got my BFP. I wasn't ready to move on. As long as you're not running round the board shouting "take that beatches!" I think it's ok for you to stay.... wink

wannabe my OTD is Thursday (clinic blood test). I've always tested +ve at 12dpEC though, which is Tuesday, so I will probably test then. The thing is for me, even a positive won't make me happy as I have had them on all three previous rounds.

Fabuluce Sun 15-Dec-13 12:31:22

Ola all

Badhair - I drank gallons when I was IVFing - I was constantly thirsty but considered it a good think as I normally have to force myself to drink enough on a normal day. Sounds like all is going normally with the buserelin - a little stingy, a little bit itchy and pink for a bit smile You'll feel like an old pro very soon smile

Wish - what a lovely thing for your DH to say - they can get left out of this process so it's really nice when they come up trumps with wonderful things like that smile

Re: auto-immunes I really I have no idea why some docs are against it. For anyone who is in the unexplained camp I would thoroughly recommend Dr. Beer's book Is My Body Baby Friendly. It's really quite eye opening and you'll most likely read it saying yes yes yes. As far as I can see the shocking thing is that the doctors who are against it say that the docs who are for it are wasting people's money - but surely we would rather spend some money and have some idea what we are up against than go through the mental, physical and financial torture of having wasted IVFs through not testing? The fact that some docs would rather say 'it's God's will' or 'you're just unlucky' seems entirely unscientific and quite frankly pathetic in this day and age. Luckily for me, my doc is a big cheese in the world of fertility immunology and he said, following 2 IVF failures (one BFP followed by miscarriage and one BFN) that we would be wasting time and money by not testing and, following my tests and reading the book, I completely believe him. Yes it's a lot of money but significantly less than doing another round of IVF with perfect embies that could be doomed from the moment they enter my hostile womb! No amount of PMA can beat that one - it's all about the right drugs! So Euro, I hear you and am holding your hand.

Fish - how are you feeling today lovely?

Chocs, stay as long as you want - sometimes you just need to hang out with the people who know your journey smile

AFM well Dad's funeral went smoothly last week despite a few hiccups in the planning (big family - wouldn't have been normally if there weren't some disagreements!). My parents are/were both extremely religious so it was a very religious service and as I am not I could have done without the vicar saying that those without religion don't feel pain in the same way as those who are but there we go! It was an affirmation of something I don't need in my life but I have no problem with those who do. Each to their own I say.

I feel a bit of a fraud being on this group these days as we are putting off our next and final round of IVF till next March/April after our house move to give me time to get back to fighting fitness, enjoy life with my DH, deal with the house move etc., so I'm definitely not an IVFer but I'm not really quite sure where I fit in and this fred has always given me comfort. Is it ok if I lurk with occasional posting from here on in?

Apols for the super long post!

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sun 15-Dec-13 13:20:13

fab glad the funeral went as well as could be hoped for. These things are never easy but they're not really meant to be iyswim.

Feel free to lurk, I've been hanging about for ages and don't start stabbing till the 30th. I wasn't counting day until bunny mentioned it but it's only 15 days away. Shiiiiiit. I'm not at all worried about the stabbing but the ec and et I'm not looking forward to at all. I just want as many drugs as I can have to knock me the fuck out.

euro I'll be lurking on Tuesday here, BESH fred and t'other place with my fingers and toes crossed for you. I know what you mean about the bfp not being the end though. I won't relax until I get a good scan past 12 weeks and then I'll probably menkul like mad.

Happy Sunday everyone.

Badhairday76 Sun 15-Dec-13 13:21:21

Ha ha Euro - I like being called Badgirl - makes me sound kind of sassy!! Good luck for Tuesday testing. Thinking of you, Fish xxx

nobeer Sun 15-Dec-13 13:40:50

Fab sorry the vicar was an insensitive twat chap. Not very Christian of him! Hope you're alright and Christmas isn't too tough this year. I'm happy for you to lurk and post if you don't mind me doing the same. I'm getting my immunology tests done this week, so off to private IVF clinic tomorrow for some and then GP on Thurs for the ones I'm allowed to get on the Spanish NHS. DP is dragging his heels getting the one he's supposed to get done, but will hopefully get it done during the Xmas hols. I've just got the Dr Beer book and I started reading it last week on the way to work, like you I was nodding away! I've no idea when we'll be doing the next round of IVF or frozen transfer. After reading the Dr Beer book, it sounds like they prefer a fresh embryo, although when we did IVF in the summer they froze my embryos because of OHSS risk. Oh well, one step at a time!

eurochick Sun 15-Dec-13 14:23:23

Fab I'm glad the funeral went off well. I felt the same about the religious stuff at my grandad's funeral (it was a CofE service although not too hardcore). It really upset me that this man who knew nothing of his life or his family's (none of us are regular churchgoers and I am an atheist) making all this pronouncements about the right way to mourn and making me feel that crying was wrong (I was 17 and it was my first bereavement!). Grrr. Sorry. I posted to sympathise with you, and now I am ranting! I don't understand the vicar's logic either - surely the concept of Heaven is there to give comfort to Christian believers?

I agree with you about the Dr Beer book. (Bugs, was it you I sent my copy on to? If so, it's worth a read.) Unfortunately, it doesn't say anything too helpful about the only autoimmne condition I am aware I have - Raynaud's. It puts it in category 5, the most difficult to treat. confused However, on all of my scans the blood flow to my follicles and womb have been good, and even on my pregnancy that ended in mc, the blood flow to the embie was good, so I'm not sure how much that is affecting things.

Please do lurk and post as much as you want. Many folks linger on here while waiting for the next step. We're planning to do our last round around March/April so we may end up being cycle buddies then.

fish how are you doing today?

Fabuluce Sun 15-Dec-13 14:47:03

Bugs, really don't worry about EC/ET - I felt like that too the first time but it really is ok (reassuring side hug time). Unless you're like that tough as nails Euro they'll put you under heavy sedation for the EC, you'll probably feel a bit woozy and achy afterwards but that's it really and ET is just a bit like having a smear but IMHO not as bad - I always feel really tense with a smear but they have to have quite a lot of wiggling time up in your food so you've got no choice but to relax really - the most difficult bit is feeling very much on display - I can remember feeling quite a breeze up there whilst they left me wide open - not the best but not actually painful. Oh and actually the worst thing is being utterly desperate for a wee!

Euro - I've got Reynaud's too - it was only when I had the tests that they found out other things and, funnily enough, there used to be nothing of any interest on t'interweb about Reynaud's but now there's much more so it's worth a look at it again. I think my blood is sluggish though to say the least so I reckon the blood thinners (aspirin and clexane) should make quite a difference for me. I am keeping everything crossed for you.

I agree with you Nobeer and Euro - it's not a very christian attitude but I guess if it helped my mum then that's a good thing - just not great for the rest of us! There is no right or wrong way to mourn, it's just whatever works for you. People can be bloody weird can't they!

Oh and Euro, whilst I love the idea that we may be cycling together in March/April, in the very best of ways I hope we won't and that you'll be in the happy zone of pregnancy by then smile

Nobeer good luck with your tests lovely and how fabulous that you can get some of them done on the Spanish NHS - how brilliant! Do you know how long your results will take to come back?

nobeer Sun 15-Dec-13 15:09:58

Fab It's all the routine ones I'm getting done for free, all the NK and the specific more complex ones are with the IVF clinic. I'm getting the NHS ones back on the 2nd Jan and I'm not sure about the IVF clinic. When I get all the results I'll send them to the immunologist and then have another appointment with her. So I guess I'll have the appointment with her some time in January!

ThoughtfulOne Sun 15-Dec-13 15:30:49

Hi all - mind if I pop my head back in again <sheepishly peers in>.

I know many of you have been having a really tough time and I am really sorry to hear that. I'm not sure if any of you remember me but I was cycling in Oct/Nov. I got a BFN about a month ago and was devastated. I still am to be honest. I'm trying to just forget about it for a while and enjoy Christmas and mostly I am managing but I've been avoiding friends (easy as I have a busy job and lots of Christmas parties).

One major issue is my DH's brother and sister in law have just had their second baby. A day after my BFN. We still haven't gone to visit yet and his parents are now increasing the pressure on us to go. I feel sick at the thought of it - I freak out in public when I see a baby and the only way I can cope is to pretend it's not there. Even walking through John Lewis baby section (because it would have been a ridiculous detour not to) had me bursting in tears. The sound of a baby crying on the train felt like it was piercing my heart. How can I go and visit a family baby and go through all those emotions with everyone watching me? I don't know how I'd cope if I had to hold it.

I realise this sounds ridiculous

We probably will be doing FET in Feb but I don't hold out much hope.
Xx

Badhairday76 Sun 15-Dec-13 21:13:35

Hi Thoughtfulone - sorry to hear you are finding things so tough. I totally empathise. I've lost three pregnancies this year - one to a miscarriage and two to Ectopics, which meant I had to have both my tubes removed and I still find it very tough seeing pregnant people, particularly since all of my friends seem to be pregnant right now. One of my really good friends had her baby in August, just after my most recent ectopic and tube removal and I was just dreading seeing her and her baby. Truth was though, that it was much easier than I thought. Yes, I did well up and cry, but then people often get emotional when they see babies and my friend understood. Your brother-in-law and his wife will understand too. Don't be too harsh on yourself. I bet you will handle it better than you think you will. The minute I saw my friend's baby, I realised that she wasn't 'my baby' which made it easier to cope with. Sending virtual hugs ((((. )))))

FabiOne Sun 15-Dec-13 22:31:39

Ladies

Would you mind if I joined please?

Sorry to hear people have really been through the mill. I have been TTC for three years but without a single pregnancy in that time unfortunately I'm unable to offer any personal experience of pregnancy loss and feel like I've sort have been lucky that I haven't had to go through what must be the toughest experience ever. Hopefully the new year will bring some good news for all.

January will mark the third year anniversary of us starting on this TTC journey and I started my first IVF cycle just over two weeks ago. Down Regging until Xmas eve with egg collection (fingers crossed) week beginning January 6th so would be great to share the experience with others.

I have a complete bicornuate uterus and endometriosis and looks like this route is the only one that will work for us. Little worried that the results you see from the clinics are all cycles combined though and you don't get the statistics split out into the probability of it working on cycle 1, on cycle 2 etc. (I am a statistician and am all about the statistics!!)

Anyway, currently down Regging and AF has been and gone but seem to be having EWCM....is this normal?? I thought down reg would shut everything down and I wouldn't ovulate at all....does this sound like down reg might not be working?

Hoping you more experienced ladies will be able to help

Thanks

Fabi xxx

eurochick Sun 15-Dec-13 22:37:28

Welcome FabOne. Have you started stimming yet (I know you said you are downregging until Xmas eve but you usually continue the downreg drugs when you start stimms, so I'm not too sure)? It's normal to get loads of EWCM when stimming as your oestrogen levels are elevated. But I'm guessing not from the timings you mention.

I dropped out of my downregging cycle at the end of AF though, so I'm probably not the best person to advise on this!

I hope you will find this thread helpful and supportive over the next few weeks.

FabiOne Sun 15-Dec-13 23:03:23

Hi Eurochick!

No, I'm still on down reg, doing a four week so that we can have EC start of January when my DH is on annual leave. I'm hoping another two weeks will mean I am well and truly down reg'd and all will be well. Trying to take a day at a time but so hard not to fast forward and think about things too much!

When you say you dropped out of down reg after AF, do you mean you started stimming then or stopped the cycle completely?

Xxx

eurochick Mon 16-Dec-13 08:32:51

I stopped the cycle completely, Fab. I don't react well to hormonal medication and downregging turned me into a looper. So I walked away from the cycle as it was too upsetting for me and my husband. Don't worry though - my reaction was pretty extreme. Most people feel a bit off but not quite that bad! We moved to natural/mild IVF instead.

AFM... I just caved and tested. It was a faint BFP. But I've been here before and can't get excited (although my imagination is).

I kind of knew for the last few days - insomnia, exhaustion, boobs like bazookas and feeling dizzy a couple of times when I got up too quick. How wonderful it would be to be a first timer without the memories of what happened last time. But I'm not, and I can't help thinking back to that.

So no congratulations please, ladies. I feel too cautious for that. Just some crossed fingers that the clinic blood test on Thursday gives me a nice HCG number please. x