The Elderberry Pavlovas- All aboard the Berrycopter. Thread 14

(994 Posts)
funkymonk Tue 03-Sep-13 20:23:17

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

Bunnygirlie Tue 03-Sep-13 20:47:39

<runs in huffing and puffing> did I make it?!?

Apart from current members, I think we should change the rules to 6 months plus! Ooh aren't I mean!

Boodle9 Tue 03-Sep-13 20:53:40

Good evening! Just bagging a good spot, but can't stick around as I have lots of work to get on with ready for tomorrow!

PuppyMummy Tue 03-Sep-13 21:00:06

Best mark my place.

merk agree midwives and bake off tonight although not live for me. Love bake off, love Paul Hollywood!

Bunnygirlie Tue 03-Sep-13 21:41:35

Hmmmm not sure about midwives, any good?!? Doesn't it just make us Berries jealous and crazy?!?

Just marking a spot but not like my dog does.

I don't think that's mean Bunny, I tend to regard anyone who diffed within a year of trying as an instadiffer! shock

BlindKitty Tue 03-Sep-13 21:51:34

bunny it was Midwives that I was talking about last week. Not sure about this week but last week was filmed at the hospital where I'm having my fertility treatment, and subsequent baby (please God)! fantasises about midwives being MY midwives!

bunny happy not long til your appointments now. happy are you going to tell the consultant that you're having a break?

Sid sounds like your consultant has been very thorough. The clomid is prob worth a try but glad there not making you wait too long for your IVF

So been for more acupuncture tonight...managed not to squish any pigeons this time!

Gillster Tue 03-Sep-13 22:02:35

Sounds like the FC appointment was promising Sid. This was in contrast to my FC appointment yesterday. To be fair, we were only there for blood tests and day 5 dildocam for me. The annoying part was that I went the loo after the scan and the radiographer was rushing so gave DH the results without me being there. DH said that "my count was good", unfortunately he was unable to elaborate as he didn't clarify what she meant. I assume the radiographer was referring to my follicles? Was pretty cross that DH hadn't asked more questions (cue row) and also cross that she just rushed off when I was in loo. She also said it would be 12 weeks. 12 weeks to what??? Treatment? Chat with consultant? Another row ensued with DH as at least it would be good to know whether we should book flights to a USA wedding at end of December but again we're in limbo. I suppose I could try and call although DH said he would try and clarify when he goes for his jizz test in a couple of weeks. Rant over!

Bunnygirlie Tue 03-Sep-13 22:02:58

Agreed then, new recruits need to have been trying 6 months plus!

A girl I know who has had awful TTC problems had a friend recently tell her - oh it was awful, it took us 4 months, I thought it was never going to happen!

Hands up if you would have lunched her?!?!?

Yep kitty the FC appt countdown has begun! It's also CD23!

Bunnygirlie Tue 03-Sep-13 22:04:48

Oh gill so sorry you had a bad appt, how awful that they didn't give you the results! Don't they know men are useless and don't ask questions!!!

Gill no wonder you are cross. I would phone them as I suspect he will not know all the detailed questions to ask
Arf at lunched them! Is that a cross between punching and lynching??

Bunnygirlie Tue 03-Sep-13 22:27:22

Not sure who started with the lunching?!?

yorkiebilb Tue 03-Sep-13 22:36:11

Marking my spot. Hi everyone!

gill I'm so annoyed for you that she gave the results without waiting for you to come back. That's just rude! I'd ring up if I was you. Grrr on your behalf.

sid so pleased to hear you sounding a bit more positive after your fc appt last night. Will be interesting to hear what they say at the NHS appt and if the recommendations are any different.

Yes bunny I would have definitely lunched her!

Pipbin Tue 03-Sep-13 22:42:57

Evening ladies, just dropping in to mark my place.
No news here at Chez Bin. Back to work today, told the head about failed IVF and he was lovely about it. Said that I can take whatever time is needed for appointments etc. Looks like I won't be back IVFing for about 6 months though.

Yes I agree with 6 months + anything under that counts as an insterdiffer in my book.

RevoltingPeasant Tue 03-Sep-13 22:45:09

Can I still be in, even though we have technically only been trying since May?

Proffers cake and also random tennis as bribes. Very, very random bribes.

Talked to DM last night as she also has a retro cervix, and asked if she'd had any trouble conceiving. Oh no, she said, it always happened the first month... Except with DSis4 (when she was 40) and then it took a couple of months.

Right.... So, just me then!

Also, since I'm trespassing on everyone's foodwill anyway, can I please ask something which is totally, totally tmi....?

Pipbin Tue 03-Sep-13 22:47:39

Ask away. I'm so far down the IVF trail that nothing can shock me now.

RevoltingPeasant Tue 03-Sep-13 22:51:23

Thanks... Okay so DH and I dtd last night successfully for what I thnk may be the 4th time, ever. He has bad ED and the meds to fix it give him nasty side effects so we don't bother with normalpeople sex when not ttc and even then it often doesn't work.

However, when he withdrew most of the spunk was on him, at cockbase and in his pubes. Does this mean it didn't go up properly?

I can't actually believe I am posting that on the internet, but I have very little shame these days...

Pipbin Tue 03-Sep-13 23:03:47

One question, what is ED?

As for your question, the theory is that the ones are going to make it to the egg are good swimmers and will get there. So long as he was inside you when he came then you should be good. Has he had an SA?

True story for you, my best mate at school had a condition, the name of which escapes me but it was something like vagismus, which meant that the muscles of her vagina clamped shut when ever her boyfriend got near her. Therefore she wasn't able to really have penetrative sex. One day her and her boyfriend were doing everything like normal sex but without the actual penetration. Because of this they never really bothered with contraception. He came on the outside of her vagina, he never entered her at all. 9 months later .....................

RevoltingPeasant Tue 03-Sep-13 23:08:23

Sorry, erectile dysfunction. So he has to take a Viagra like med to have sex. Or, "normal" sex as a dr once charmingly phrased it....

Thanks. I think that might help if I were young and dewy, but probably not now.

Pipbin Tue 03-Sep-13 23:12:45

I see, must be rather un romantic.
- 'Darling I am ovulating and so we must have normal people sex'.
- 'Quick, to the bathroom cabinet and fetch the pills. Now we must sit and wait.'
Sorry to make light of the situation, after this long TTCing I have developed a rather gallows sense of humour.

As I said, so long as he was inside you at the time it should do the trick. Have you tried Conceive plus or Preseed?

happylass Tue 03-Sep-13 23:28:01

Gah <runs in puffing and panting after having run all the way>. Missed the shuttle due to being engrossed in Bake Off and Don't Tell the Bride.
No Kitty I don't think we'll tell the FC we're on a break in case they make us go away and come back later! Technically we are still having unprotected sex just not at the right time of the month
Gill how annoying about the radiographer!Sounds like my DP though - only gets half the story!!
Pip how come no more IVF for 6 months?
Have to confess I was on my 1st cycle of TTC when I joined the Berries! Think most people were in the fairly early stages then though and if I'm not mistaken many of the original grads were pretty much instadiffers. How things change sad. Look forward to the anniversary party next month though Bunny smile

Pipbin Tue 03-Sep-13 23:47:15

They need to let your body have 6 months to get back to normal before starting again, unless you are over 38, then it's 3 months.

I think that the 'no insterdiffers' came from some of the early short term Berries.

Just marking a spot..I may be in the copter for now but I need to keep an eye on all the berries so I can hoist you aboard when necessary!

Hello berries,

I'm still here too. <grabs duvet and slumps in corner so as to be unobtrusive>

sid and not sod as I keep inadvertently typing I'm glad the appointment was good and you had a consultant that you like and trust. So important!

pip 6 months sounds like a long time to wait although of course it could still happen in the meantime.

gill she gave your results to your DH and didn't even wait to see you??? That's terrible! I would be ringing up and having a word about that. And getting the full story.

Yep bunny I would have lunched her.

Actually I'm a bit ashamed to say this but I got really grumpy with a friend (quite distant friend really) over Skype yesterday. She was very openly getting frustrated when she got to cycle 3 without diffing, but was laughing at herself too. Then it worked that cycle and now she is 20 weeks. We were chatting about this and she asked about me and DP- she knows about my mmc last year. I'm not telling anyone that I got bfp for the moment so just made throwaway comment and she told us to JUST RELAX. I didn't handle it very graciously, lets just say that. And now I feel pretty bad. Trying to console myself with the thought that this might stop her from doing the same to another struggling lady - kind of like I'm actually a superhero in some way.....

You're my superhero thunder. Instadiffers need to know how much saying stupid things like that makes a berry want to lunch them in the face. With a frying pan.

yorkiebilb Wed 04-Sep-13 08:09:47

You're definitely my superhero thunder! It's amazing how she's conveniently forgotten how worried she was after only a few months. The 'just relax' comment is just so friggin annoying!

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 08:20:23

Morning all!

Of course you can stay RP it's only from this thread that we'll be so strict wink And I don't think anything is TMI for us anymore!

pip your head teacher sounds nice, I bet some people have real trouble getting time off for appts. <sniggers at darling we must have normal people sex> sorry RP

happy I was TTC less that 6months when the Berries formed, it has just kind of developed into long term tryers

Is it a bird, is it a plane, no its Superthunder hell yeah, you go girl! If somebody who knew we were struggling said something like that to me I would find it hard not to make a comment!

So apart from just relax, what are the worst things to say then?!? I reckon, it'll happen is pretty crappy  (I get that from DH and it makes me wanna throttle him). 

My other worst one was being told (by a one night instadiffer) 'to make the most of it'

ie make the most of life without a baby. And this was shortly after my miscarriage.

SidneyBristow Wed 04-Sep-13 09:54:56

thunder unbelievable, 'make the most of it'??? there are no words. some people are just pathetically insensitive thanks

I can't choose a "worst" thing that's ever been said to me, mainly bc I talk about TTC with very few people and even then, sometimes it's just an allusion to it rather than a full-on convo. MIL has a congenital case of foot-in-mouth disease and has said at various times, 'enjoy your child-free weekend,' tutted at the rubbishness of her DD's inlaws' egg/sperm quality which required 'shockingly expensive' IVF and implied that they were lesser beings for needing help, and just last week referred to an aunt of mine only having one 'real daughter'...their other one is adopted. She has a real knack for saying the most idiotic, stupidly hurtful things.

pip love thinking of you, sorry to hear about the wait. when is your review appointment?

RP ED must be so frustrating. I agree with the others; as long as he was inside you, you're good. I worry about leakage sometimes too but have yet to perfect my headstand so the best that happens at Bristowville is a folded pillow under my bum cannot wait to throw it out one day

How're all you teacher people holding up? I love this time of year!

yorkiebilb Wed 04-Sep-13 10:13:00

thunder what a horrible thing for her to say.

Wow sid your mil comes out with some pretty insensitive comments. That must be tough to hear.

I've heard all sorts. Just relax is a common one along with the friend of a friend story about someone who just stopped trying and then wham they just got pregnant. My mate managed to include the 'it will happen to you' comment in her message from the womb. I mean I'm very confused as to how her unborn foetus knows that I'm going to get pregnant!! Sorry couldn't resist!

Tallyra Wed 04-Sep-13 12:19:01

Hi guys, just marking my place. Nightmare time - see copter thread for details. I'll be back later when I'm a bit better and have a charged phone.

Snowlily Wed 04-Sep-13 13:25:49

Hi all, just a quick hello, sid your mil sounds as wonderful as mine ;)

one of my most cringeworthy comments was my 88 year old grandma asking my OH "if I was carrying yet?"

CD 26 for me, & we're being good as OH & I have decided only to test if I'm late, (which I don't think is going to happen from the feelings down below, but its not over to the witch cackles ;) ) & acupuncturist is hoping to lengthen my cycle by a day or 2 back to what it was pre-the pill. Feeling much more relaxed this month so the diet & acu is helping, ttfn

SidneyBristow Wed 04-Sep-13 13:29:37

Tally so sorry to hear this, you've really been through the mill thanks I hope the steroids help turn things around

sparechange Wed 04-Sep-13 14:31:43

Hi berries!
You've been a busy lot in the last few days...

sid that sounds like a great FC you've found there... Can you share his name?

Nothing much to report other than I had lunch with my best mate yesterday and she told me that her and her DH start ivf next week. Her AF is due on Monday and then it is pin cushions a-hoy (and supositories... I hadn't heard about those before shock)

My app thinks I'll OV this Sunday, which is slightly inconvenient as we are at the in-laws from Friday onwards. Might need to practice stealth DTD for sunday morning!

Thunder I had to block another MN thread last week (something along the lines of 'how long did it take you to get pregnant') because it was full of 'oh well I was trying for 2 months, then went to a wedding a got drunk and DA DAR was pregnant. It was definitely because we were relaxed. Oh, and my friend was supposed to start IVF and a week before she got the appointment, she got pregnant, and that must be because she wasn't stressing about it'
FUCK. OFF.

Sorry, rant over!

happylass Wed 04-Sep-13 16:28:32

Oh no Tally poor you. Hope that things start to improve for you soon. Thinking of you - take care flowers

RevoltingPeasant Wed 04-Sep-13 19:08:08

spare that is very annoying. I have a lovely, LOVELY colleague who knows we are trying. She has 2 DC and has put together a bag of baby clothes from them, for me! It is so kind but also a bit pressure-y.... I keep thinking of those tiny clothes gathering dust somewhere.

Yes, just relax indeed....

Normalpeople sex is actually quite polite compared to our lingo at home. I mean, ttc really is pretty much is like coupling large farmyard animals, isn't: lock them in the bedroom at the right time until they've done the business.

I may be the least romantic person ever, ever

RevoltingPeasant Wed 04-Sep-13 19:09:09

Although, as I'm on a TMI binge: I am not even sure if I have OV this month! No OPK+, but then I ran out of those so can't do any more. And no upwards jump in BBT.

But.....EWCM!

Can you get that without OV?

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 19:25:02

Ugh people can say such insensitive things!

sid ugh you MIL sounds delightful!

spare nice rant! 

So how are we all?

RP sorry to say I think you can get EWCM without O, however that doesn't mean you haven't O'd

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 19:58:56

tally sorry to hear you've been having a tough time. Hope the meds work x

Had a quick look on the helicopter thread, they let non berries in shock guess they aren't as strict as us lol

We let you in cos there's still a spare seat for each of you! And we miss you

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 20:22:14

We miss the pg berries too! x

funkymonk Wed 04-Sep-13 21:23:34

Grrr to gills DH and consultant.

thanks for tally and pip

rp I also think you can get ewcm without ov'ing. hmm

How are things going kitty?

10 or 11dpo here and stupid evap line this morning. Usually get spotting from today for 2 days and then af arrives. Had a little tinged cm today but not like the usual. Was hoping starting the b6 would stop that completely or better still I was hoping to be diffed

Been strangely emotional last couple of days. My grandad died 16 months ago now but have been suddenly bursting into tears over it last night and again this evening. If it wasnt for the tinged cm today I would def be spotting that as a symptom! still keeping fingers crossed despite knowing I'm really moving on to cycle 12 now

why the tennis ??

funkymonk elaborate on your evap and CM please. What kind of test? Don't rule yourself out over CM as that's a good 'symptom'. Spill the beans...

BlindKitty Wed 04-Sep-13 21:38:45

gill me are rubbish taking any sorts or details. Cross your legs in future!

bunny I actually told my friend she is what we'd call an 'instadiffer', to which she replied "but it took 3 whole months"...yeh how awful for you hmm

pip I think your friend might have been fibbing! Did you down reg? Is that why you've got to wait or do they make everyone wait?

boom was beginning to think you'd forgotten about us wink

Oh and same to you ms thunder! grin

funkymonk Wed 04-Sep-13 21:41:51

It really was just an evap merk. A white indent on an ic. Squinted at it from all possible angles to try and make it look slightly pink, but wasn't happening.

Teeny teeny amount of brownish cm today. In cycle 8 when I had the early mc I had implantation bleeding 8dpo to 12dpo which was different (actual spots of brown blood)

My implantation bleed was brown CM which went on for days. Are you testing again tomorrow?
I remember being laid in bed after a bfn on my last cycle (crying) and being sure it wasn't possible for one test to be stark white and the next to be bfp. However I proved myself wrong the next morning. I know it's said a lot but dont give up until AF comes, it's hard enough if AF does arrive without being upset before it even happens iykwim

BlindKitty Wed 04-Sep-13 21:54:59

tally sorry you're still feeling rubbish, hope you're feeling better soon

spare I despair at some of the other mn posts! I can't even bare to read them anymore!

Hmmm anyone else thinking what I'm thinking about marie??!

Gillster Wed 04-Sep-13 21:55:53

Sounds promising Spare, keeping everything crossed for you apart from my legs of course - ha!

Signed up for some personal training today - eek. Going to blast this diet and fitness once and for all. It will also give me something different to obsess about! It all starts on Monday.

funkymonk Wed 04-Sep-13 21:56:35

hmm hmm hmm Yes, I usually test daily from 10dpo sometimes earlier until af arrives.

funkymonk Wed 04-Sep-13 21:57:49

Not marie anymore kitty!! grin

Keep us posted. Am so confused by the Marie thing am going to back out slowly...

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 22:09:06

FX funky it ain't over till its over!

kitty how did you not lunch your mate?!?

P.s. who is Marie?!? wink

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 22:11:06
funkymonk Wed 04-Sep-13 22:14:10

I had a name change merk!

Mr Tumnas hahahahahahahahaha!!! Good thread bunny

BlindKitty Wed 04-Sep-13 22:17:12

Arrgh I just said the wrong name!!! Soooo sorry! Shall I get mn to remove it?!

Gillster Wed 04-Sep-13 22:17:55

Sorry, I meant to name check funky rather than spare before (waves to spare anyway). Time for bed me thinks!

IamKuma Wed 04-Sep-13 22:22:30

funky I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. I myself tried to see that faint invisible line on an OPK this morning; ended up pimping this evening and got a completely BFN sad. Until last month I always had spotting from about day 23 but again it hasn't arrived. I had seriously convinced myself that this month would be my month, lovely relaxing holiday, DTD 7 times in the 2 weeks around shag week, lots of lying around... but no, it just doesn't seem that its meant to be.....
DH is away with work at the moment so ended up having a cheeky and quite frankly awesome chilled bottle of corona with one of my friends so at least that has taken my mind of being at a heightened level or despair....

Tally sorry to hear you are still so sick, I hope you feel better soon thanks

RP I hope things are going OK for you. I'm probably only suggesting things that you've already done, so sorry in advance, but does your DPs GP know you are TTC; if he has bad side effects from the medication, perhaps changing which one he uses or the dose would help?

kitty hows your 2ww going, is it the longest ever?!?

BlindKitty Wed 04-Sep-13 22:30:58

kuma nah but prob because my expectations aren't so high! Think I might have heard the only 15% success rate I've too many times to fe hopeful!

funky I'm a very bad berry!

funkymonk Wed 04-Sep-13 22:32:36

Thanks kuma. Keeping everything crossed for you also. Glad you enjoyed your corona grin My dh is also away with work so was debating a glass of port with some cranberry cheese.

kitty, honestly don't worry at all!! How much longer of your 2ww? We should have waited to do a list until starting the new thread!

funkymonk Wed 04-Sep-13 22:33:14

oops, cross post kitty

RevoltingPeasant Wed 04-Sep-13 22:35:47

Kuma, thanks. DH has been seen by a consultant andrologist who prescribed this medication so I think that's it. It is just that sometimes he gets nasty headaches after. So we only use the meds around when we are ttc, around when we think I have OV.

IamKuma Wed 04-Sep-13 22:50:29

RP sounds like you are in good hands then smile.

Must go to bed now, I am fully intending to take advantage of having a bed to myself and nobody snoring in the vicinity... so must.not.spend.whole.night.on.MN....

Goodnight! bear

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 23:07:41

Did somebody say list?!? wink

I'm still here kitty <waves from corner>, just keeping quiet but keeping a close eye out. Hence the recent outraged outbursts.

How are you doing btw? Testing time is fast approaching, no?

funky oooooooo......

kuma!

bear
Just testing as its not on the list any more...

ahhhh!

Bunnygirlie Wed 04-Sep-13 23:14:35

Found one! Add/update your stats...

Bunny - cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.

P.s. ladies in the helicopter, let us know your new stats too, it gives us hope smile

Ooo, funky, I had 5 out of 6 days of what would usually be my period. Slightly pink/brown cm. Was convinced it was AF and burst out crying when DP noticed I was quiet and asked what was wrong. It was our first clomid cycle and despite staying with MiL/long travelling times/camping in a tiny tent/sleeping on mate's floors etc over shag week we still managed at least eod (and it was bloody hard work!!). When all this effort had gone unrewarded I was gutted, especially as AF was early so clomid didn't seem to have done anything for my short LP. But I never had my usual one day of bleeding enough to need a tampon so did an ic anyway and got my bfp. I don't want to get your hopes up but you're not ruled out of the helicopter just yet!! wink

Bunny we only let non berries in the 'copter if they are berries, ie over 30 and tried ages to ttc #1 before getting a bfp and now being totally freaked out and worried. Standards are not slipping, don't you worry wink .

My current stats would be:
barkingtreefrog, 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.

And mine:

barkingtreefrog 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat shock

Please add me (on phone)
Merkin, 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week

Bunnygirlie Thu 05-Sep-13 08:21:11

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.

barking -  34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat 
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week

Bunnygirlie Thu 05-Sep-13 08:24:38

Gosh, looking at that list is slightly depressing, so many of us needing FC help sad

merk you got bfp before me didn't you?!

Good point thunder, it was cd29 and actually the 13th July.
Bunny don't be disheartened about all the help you are getting, FX it should get you winched into the chopper sooner

Tallyra Thu 05-Sep-13 11:20:38

ok, here's my stats..

Tallyra, 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.

Hooray tally!

SidneyBristow Thu 05-Sep-13 11:35:24

Great news Tally! How are you feeling today?

SidneyBristow Thu 05-Sep-13 11:45:05

Spare Will PM you the consultant's info smile

well berries I am sad to say that DH and I are terrible patients: consultant's advice to skip DTD last night was ignored, although DH made a valiant effort to cool things down blush In my defense I was overtaken by hormones and needed it as much as wanted it. In 2 weeks we'll either look at it as the bonk that worked and pat ourselves on the back for going with a feeling, or wonder if saving it for another day would've had a different result.

Bunny yes I feel the same; it's a little daunting that so many of us are now seeing FCs, but Merkin's right, if this is what it takes, then so be it even though it totally stinks to be told when to have sex even if you wind up ignoring the advice you paid for

Tally amazing news. Hope steroids are helping x

Snowlily Thu 05-Sep-13 13:09:29

Great news Tally fingers crossed the meds work for you smile
I've added myself & Tally hope thats ok x

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.

barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.

Quick update;

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.

barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 13th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.

sparechange Thu 05-Sep-13 13:32:28

Adding my bits in...

tally Any update for us?

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October

barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.

Gillster Thu 05-Sep-13 16:57:59

Can someone add me to the list please?

Gillster, 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.

Bunnygirlie Thu 05-Sep-13 18:07:43

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October
Gillster - 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.

barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.

Bunnygirlie Thu 05-Sep-13 18:08:16

Anybody missing?

tally great news, hugs x

How is everybody else at the mo?

BlindKitty Thu 05-Sep-13 18:47:37

bunny yep makes me sad realising just how long I've been ttc sad. It's defo my turn soon!!!

funky so sorry! Won't out you again! Think my brain just processed your new name with your old name!

thunder otd is wed but I will prob pimp before then!

guys (especially merk!) my temp dropped below my cover line today so I'm guessing game over? Did go for a wee in the night but not sure how close it was to waking. What do you think?

Nope blind, drop often means implantation. This cycle's chart was crap due to travel and other timelines but on my CPs I had below cover line dip each time

Fox82 Thu 05-Sep-13 18:51:08

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October
Gillster - 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.
barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.
Fox - 30 (for another week!) TTC since December 2012. AF due 21/9

Oooo blind!!

Bunnygirlie Thu 05-Sep-13 19:00:20

It ain't over till it's over kitty!

RevoltingPeasant Thu 05-Sep-13 19:24:57

Eeek kitty ........! don't want to jinx it by saying anything else.

Merk, would you or someone mind explaining the going for a wee thing? I don't understand blush

In PeasantNews, DH and I managed to have sex twice around the mid-point of my cycle (yesterday). I cannot tell if I OV this month because I screwed up temping and ran out of OPK sticks. Honestly, if I were this incompetent at work, I'd've been fired ages ago.

Is it wrong/icky or helpful to wear a Mooncup afterwards? One of my issues is with a retro cervix, it doesn't seem logical to lie on my back for ages, so I lie on my back for a bit, then my front, and then, er... hold everything in with my trusty MC. Might that help?

Sid didn't you say you thought the consultant's advice was out of date anyhow? If so you may have just done the right thing!! smile

Bunnygirlie Thu 05-Sep-13 20:48:40

Ooh that reminds me, I must order some more opks!

Tallyra Thu 05-Sep-13 21:08:49

sorry for keeping you all guessing today. I've been much better, and even managed a game of cards when dh came in. they tell me I might get home tomorrow if nothing goes downhill. just need to keep eating and drinking - it's so hard!

happylass Thu 05-Sep-13 21:31:43

Aw Tally so glad you're feeling better and hope things continue to improve for you.
RP I don't think the actual going for a wee itself is the issue its just that you are meant to have a certain number of hours (4 I think??) of uninterrupted sleep before temping.
Third and final cd21 test for me tomorrow. After previous levels of 47 and 50 and a cycle you could set your watch by I think it's pretty obvious that I'm OVing but no they want more blood!

Bunnygirlie Thu 05-Sep-13 21:32:30

tally glad to hear you are doing a bit better, it must be so scary. Guess the worry and stress never ends x

RP if you are going to do any lying down I believe on your front is better for your situation. BUT, the swimmers that enter the cervix get there during ejaculation (its the force) not (except in exceptional circumstances) by happening to be the blob that sits near the entrance to the cervix 30 mins later!

RevoltingPeasant Thu 05-Sep-13 22:01:10

Thanks Merkin. I wonder if it matters that retro cervixes point the wrong way, then....

BlindKitty Fri 06-Sep-13 06:30:22

happy rp yeh it's 4 hours I think but I always have toget up for a wee, it's very annoying!

merk should my temp rise back up then?

sid I've asked numerous professionals now in case one gives me a different answer and they all sat eod

BlindKitty Fri 06-Sep-13 06:31:07

Say

What happened to your temp this morning kitty? I never had a dip below cover line until after AF arrived on all my bfn cycles. I don't know what happened last cycle as I was travelling so stopped temping.

Just checking in, no real news, starting injections on the 24th.
Good luck Kitty, hope your temp has gone back up today.
Boodle, I'm chart stalking you, for some reason it appears when I start typing in fertility friend to get my chart, and your chart looks great! Hope it's 2nd time lucky for the clomid.
Happylass your clinic seems really fussy, nobody else seems to have needed so much testing before the first appointment! Is it their way of delaying referrals and hoping that people get updiffed while they're waiting?
Good luck to all others waiting for clinic appointments, although it's disappointing to need help, it also seems like such a relief when you get offered a treatment that has any sort of percentage success rate, compared to the 0% we've had so far.
Sid your consultant in particular sounds amazing.

Blind your temp should come back up after 1 or 2 days
Again I know consultants can't know everything but the latest research conclusively proves sex daily increases sperm motility, reduces sperm defects and increases likelihood of getting pregnant. It annoys me that out of date research is still quoted... They may as well be telling you to wait for the stork! Will find the link to the research if I can

the article
Specifically, in the 5th paragraph in the results section, "Thus, daily intercourse would produce the highest probability of conception (0.37). The estimated rate of conception falls to 0.33 with intercourse that averages every other day..." and "The model fits well across the range of values for the frequency of intercourse, with no overall trend toward lower fertility with a higher frequency of intercourse"

Bunnygirlie Fri 06-Sep-13 08:24:10

Hmmmmm I think I'm out, think AFs evil cousin is on her way sad

FunkyMonk any update?

Sorry, will shut up in a second....
The myth belief about EOD sex ones from the fact that sperm count is reduced by ed sex. However it has now been found that the lower sperm count/increased motility/reduced sperm DNA damage from sperm from
daily sex is more likely to result in pregnancy than the higher sperm count/lower motility/higher DNA damaged sperm from EOD sex.
Myth further driven home by publications such as the
Sperm Meets Egg Plan which quotes
""Trying" too often can actually do more harm than good. Do not try every night! You will get exhausted and sore, and your mucus-both for fertility and for lubrication-will dry up, and you will stop trying too early in the month or miss an important day. Every other day is absolutely sufficient". Note the author of that is not a qualified doctor, researcher or anything else relevant... The book is her opinion and personal interpretation of some data and studies

Grrr Bunny

RevoltingPeasant Fri 06-Sep-13 09:44:47

I'm sorry Bunny. are you sure?

Right. I think I need to invest in a Clearblue monitor......... Looked at my chart and except for CD9-11, when I didn't temp due to being away, my BBT has remained stubbornly around 36.21. I think this may either mean no OV or OV during those early days.

Is it possible to OV without your BBT rising? <clutches at straws>

RP link to the chart please. Depends which days you did temp pre O

And no need for expensive clear blue, cheapy amazon OPKs will do the job for you for a fraction of the price

Gillster Fri 06-Sep-13 09:58:30

Not good Bunny sad

Interesting article Merk although I have a couple of criticisms. The first is that the paper is quite old (1995) so I'd have thought there would be something a bit more recent to support the hypotheses that DTD ED is more likely to result in BFP. Also, although there was a small statistical increase for a BFP for DTD ED it was pretty marginal. I guess that's why the current professional advice is still EOD.

Gill if you think that's old you want to look at the evidence for EOD which is from the 70s and 80s. Most of the research into fertility and pregnancy is based on flawed and aged studies which is why I get frustrated. This study shows a clear pattern and recommendation yet doctors are recommending the exact opposite confused Also, (and I mean this in the nicest possible way) if the research proves ed better regardless of the margin why would you then go on to recommend something that is not better (EOD)?? It's counterintuitive grin There are other studies that prove the same thing btw

RP of women who O, 72% get a BBT rise that confirms O, whereas 93% get confirmation via OPKs. So no, not every ovulating woman gets a BBT pattern that indicates O

BlindKitty Fri 06-Sep-13 11:33:07

merk I've read that before actually. Without reading it properly unless you've critically appraised it, you still can't 100% vouch for its results. Afraid I was never any good at critical appraisal must have daydreamed in those lectures so I can't appraise it. Anyway, my point is, even articles in credible journals can be flawed so I don't always take everything as gospel.

My temp is the same as yesterday, hopefully it will be back up tomorrow!

I agree blind but when all recent evidence points to ed increasing likelihood of pregnancy (and I can quote plenty more studies) then it seems stupid to ignore. Especially when there is no recent scientific evidence that I am aware of that demonstrates the opposite.
Anyway... as you were

IamKuma Fri 06-Sep-13 12:10:58

Ugh, I'm out. AF arrived in the night along with a generous helping of stomach cramps. angry

merk Grr to that opinion that dtd ed will make you grow horns and cause your bits to dry out, shrivel up and fall off; I pity the woman who wrote that if that's her experience of dtd every day shock (Not in a good mood here today)

SidneyBristow Fri 06-Sep-13 13:04:06

Sorry bunny and Kuma, sounds like a good time to curl up on the sofa and watch crap tv and cuddle a hot water bottle. thanks

the further along this TTC trail we get, the more convinced I am that it's mostly a numbers game with absolutely no way to guarantee a particular outcome, not even IVF when all the sperm/egg stuff is done in plain sight. What didn't work one month could work the next, or could work never (shudder). Every GP I ever saw suggested EOD but in my opinion they were working on the belief that DTD is a hardship in terms of time commitment/interest/physical ability etc. In our case, thankfully we don't have those issues and are lucky in that DTD is something we'd do just as often whether we were TTC or not! (sorry if TMI or if it sounds boastful - I don't mean it in this way). All I know is, despite being told to DTD Tues, Thurs & Sat based around a Weds ovulation, on Weds evening I had an un-ignorable need to DTD and it had very little to do with TTC. I figured if I physically felt that strongly then perhaps it was my body telling me that the time was right. Who knows. I'm not holding my breath that it was the bonk that will do the trick, but if I truly did ov on Weds, then that's a full 5 days earlier than my apps have indicated for the month so perhaps we've been shagging too late all along.

All these compliments about the consultant I saw have me wondering if it's more typical for one to be crap! It was a private consultation; could that make a difference? I wouldn't have landed with him were it not for a personal rec from someone on the thread <waves> so if anyone else wants his info I'm happy to keep paying it forward.

RevoltingPeasant Fri 06-Sep-13 13:04:14

Merk thanks - my chart isn't online yet as I just do it by hand on a scrap of paper by the bed <oldskool> but I will start with the next CD1 on Fertility Friend.

Bunnygirlie Fri 06-Sep-13 13:11:48

boo to AF kuma might be joining you on the SoP shortly!

Not certain but pretty sure AF is a coming grrrr, because +opks were 3 days later than usual I reckon I still have another 6ish days till she cometh, but I expect a bit of spotting will occur on our anniversary on Monday!

Sid hope your body was right!

Whatever the experts say, there is no way on this earth that we can DTD every day unless we are on holiday!

Gillster Fri 06-Sep-13 15:44:31

In our last cycle we attempted DTD for five straight days around the critical time but were only successful in 4. DH was nearly broken and he's a pretty fit man. We were both working full time so I think it's quite an achievement even though it did us no good sad. Haven't quite decided on the plan if action for this month. Given that I generally OV around CD20 I feel we need to pace ourselves early on and increase the tempo nearer OV.

Hugs Kuma, you would think that some holiday shaggage would increase your chances but unfortunately not. Think it might be time to instigate some tests though, nudge nudge.

IamKuma Fri 06-Sep-13 16:25:46

We can manage ed on holiday or at the weekend, but struggle during work time. Looks like I'm out of the running next month as DH will be away when O should be. October is another holiday though smile

Gillster I have booked an appointment but earliest date is 24th Sept. Will also spend some time this weekend persuading DH that we should cough up and do the private consultation; he has been working away this week.

We never managed ed. this successful cycle I think we dtd 4 times in the window of opportunity. Clearly got very lucky!

Gillster Fri 06-Sep-13 16:45:11

Good work Kuma smile

Show DH the IVF stats for your local clinic, pre 40 and post 40. Hopefully it won't come to that but there's a stark difference in success rates. I think my DH now takes me a bit more seriously when I start stressing about my age.

Bunnygirlie Fri 06-Sep-13 17:46:28

Soooooo what are people up to this weekend?

RevoltingPeasant Fri 06-Sep-13 18:05:00

Working sad

I am entertaining this weekend. Including some babies. Hmmm.

in denial about scan in the morning

I'm working tomorrow morning and then just relaxing for the rest of the weekend, might go clothes shopping, might go to the cinema, bike ride, swimming. Sometimes I do appreciate being child-free!

BlindKitty Fri 06-Sep-13 20:03:04

My mum is here til tomorrow night (she lives in Albania) and then prob agonising over whether to pimp on Sunday!

Bunnygirlie Fri 06-Sep-13 22:28:30

Ooh thunder is this the big old 12 week?

Popped into town earlier for some food, all the way in we followed a bus with a massive pregnacare advert on the back FFS!

Tomorrow I will be pottering as hubby out then last BBQ of the season on Sunday!

Boodle9 Fri 06-Sep-13 22:36:50

Hello all! Thank goodness it's Friday! I need to do some serious napping!

Ladybunnikins, why thank you for the chart compliments. <Twirls> Unfortunately I wouldn't read too much into it. Last month's chart was also very pretty and it came to nothing. Starting to feel pretty PMS-y and it's 12 DPO tomorrow so I'm expecting the spotting to start ever so soon.

Sorry to not catch up more but I'm feeling yuk tonight so it's time for me to crawl off to my bed (which has lovely fresh clean sheets on...bliss)!

Bunnygirlie Fri 06-Sep-13 22:42:19

Ooh boodle you sound as positive as me wink

Tired here too, ate too much pasta! Night y'all

BlindKitty Sat 07-Sep-13 08:49:56

And me!!! No positivity from me I'm afraid haha! We all need wanging today!!!

funkymonk Sat 07-Sep-13 08:51:46

Morning. Sorry to bunny and kuma. Af arrived in the night for me so cycle day 1 of cycle 12 here. Grrrr. Have cried. Cycle 12 =a year (almost)= I thought things would be different by now and had everything planned out First gp appointment this morning.
So b6 caused 1day less of spotting and 1 day extra onto luteal phase. This month will do 50mg before ov and 100mg after me thinks.
Happy weekend folks.

haycorn Sat 07-Sep-13 09:16:37

Just creeping in to add myself to the list. Also, I know I'm a bit late for the 'annoying things people say' discussion, but the couple of friends I did tell about TTC (one of whom was the most instant of instadiffers) kept harping on about the relaxing thing, and also kept telling me that I should make the most of it and 'enjoy' the trying. I'm sure they were trying to be helpful, but it felt like they were saying it was our fault we weren't getting pg because we weren't having enough fun! If only I was a better lay...

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October
Gillster - 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.

barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.
Haycorn - 31, approx. 8 weeks. Terrified this will disappear and will have to start all over again.

haycorn Sat 07-Sep-13 09:19:36

Sorry Funkymonk, took me so damn long to copy list over on phone that I totally missed your post. Sorry for such a crappy start to the weekend.

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 09:32:44

Oh funky that's crappy!

The trouble with my early warning system is I have another 5/6 days of waiting for AF to actually arrive, deep down I know she is def coming but there is always a teeny percentage still holding out hope!

Boodle9 Sat 07-Sep-13 10:52:26

Sorry to hear AF has struck a few of us down. I'm trying to keep myself busy but knicker-watch for spotting is becoming increasingly obsessive!

Fox82 Sat 07-Sep-13 11:23:38

I fell off the list blush

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October
Gillster - 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.
barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.
Haycorn - 31, approx. 8 weeks. Terrified this will disappear and will have to start all over again.
Fox - 30 (for another week!) TTC since December 2012. AF due 21/9

Fox82 Sat 07-Sep-13 11:24:34

Sorry to those AF has got thanks

Sorry funky, that's a shitter.

Sorry to those who think she is looming as well although the Mantra goes you're not out til you're out....

Yep bunny it was the big old 12 week one. The one that went spectacularly wrong last time. I was beyond petrified. But it all looks ok. I just can't believe it.

I guess that means my time here is done. <shuffles towards door with head down> I will still lurk and follow your stories- I hope that's ok. You are all brilliant and I can't wait to share your happy news when the bfps come in...

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 14:11:59

Oh thunder so pleased all went well, any pics?

And please do visit lots! x

Have put a pic in my profile bunny. Thank you!

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 14:21:17

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs, DH 31yrs, cycle 11, AF due around 6/9
Yorkiebilb - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October
Gillster - 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.
Fox - 30 (for another week!) TTC since December 2012. AF due 21/9

barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat 
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.
Haycorn - 31, approx. 8 weeks. Terrified this will disappear and will have to start all over again.

boom where are you my lovely?

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 14:22:31

Wow thunder how clear and how very exciting, so chuffed for you x

haycorn Sat 07-Sep-13 15:32:25

Sorry Fox, must have copied and pasted wrong list! blush

Pipbin Sat 07-Sep-13 17:01:52

RP I second what Merkin said. I had a CB Fertility Monitor and I still used Amazon cheapy OPKs to confirm.
As someone else said, if you've got to the stage where you are considering a CB monitor then you know your cycle well enough to not need one.

Amazing picture Thunder so exciting!

funkymonk Sat 07-Sep-13 17:27:40

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
Blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs. Cycle 12. First FC appt 10th Oct. AF due 6th Oct and I will of course not need the FC appt as will just have had my bfp a few days earlier!! Trying acupuncture and reflexology.
Yorkiebib - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
Kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October
Gillster - 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.
Fox - 30 (for another week!) TTC since December 2012. AF due 21/9
Graduates
Barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
Thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.
Haycorn - 31, approx. 8 weeks. Terrified this will disappear and will have to start all over again.

Just updated my stats.

Congrats Thunder on your lovely scan!! grin grin grin

Anyone heard from Tally? Is she home?

I went to the GP this morning. Told her what I thought the problem was. She said I was probably right and asked if I wanted a referral to fertility clinic. I have done a choose and book appointment on the internet this afternoon and I am going on 10th Oct. This is a short wait compared to what I was expecting. Should the GP not have done blood tests etc first or do the FC do these? What happens at first FC appointment? I am clueless. confused
Husband also needs to do a jizz test prior to this.

Sid around? How did the appointment go today?
Blind how's the self control with the pee sticks?

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 17:50:10

funky we had to have bloods and sperm test before referral.

Pipbin Sat 07-Sep-13 18:46:07

Funky we had to do blood and SA before referral too. However it was our local hospital that both did the bloods and we were refered to.

BlindKitty Sat 07-Sep-13 19:02:36

merk have managed to control myself but then only because I could theoretically get a false positive from the trigger shot! Might do one tomorrow though, even though its bound to be the usual result!

thunder good work cadet!!! Splendid news! Did you cry? smile

When was the trigger blind? How many days post O/trigger/ transfer (not sure of the IUI technical term!) are you now? Any 'symptoms'?

Oo blind, loads of luck for testing tomorrow. I'll definitely be lurking for that one.

No didn't cry this time but only because I managed to stop myself at the point I realised we would be able to go and tell my mum some good news.

funky great news on getting the ball rolling. Well done for being so assertive.

happylass Sat 07-Sep-13 19:36:47

Good luck for tomorrow Blind. Keeping everything crossed for you, it's definitely your turn.
Well done on getting referred so quickly Funky. Before they'll let me anywhere near the FC I have had to have 3 cd21 tests, a cd3 test (which my GP did on cd9 because she didn't listen when I told her otherwise ) and a chlamydia test. DP has also had to have a SA (which is probably out of date by now as it was done last December) and a Chlamydia test!
flowers for all those who have been visited by the evil witch today

BlindKitty Sat 07-Sep-13 19:43:46

merk afraid not (apart from abdo cramps) so not holding out much hope but then I'm only 10dpo today and 11dp trigger. Only have Ic and ones from the hospital though, no cbfr, do you think it'll work?

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 19:47:39

Ae you def gonna test tomorrow kitty?

My first (v faint) was an IC, but a line is a line even if its a squinter! 10dpo is early but I would say its too late to get a false positive from the trigger (in experience of other people testing daily until they get a negative after the trigger it took no more than 8 days). Everything crossed. Remember I did not have a single symptom x

funkymonk Sat 07-Sep-13 20:01:20

Good luck kitty. I so hope tomorrow is a great day for you thanks!!

BlindKitty Sat 07-Sep-13 20:32:50

Yeh the brookers reckon 10dp trigger is fine. What day did you test with the ic merk?

Everyday!! First positive 10dpo. But I have a shortish LP so it kind of had to be then or never!

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 20:51:50

We need some more BFPs!!!

Pipbin Sat 07-Sep-13 20:59:34

A while ago I said that I had some tests needing a home but no one said they wanted them. Any takers?
There is a CB Digital, a First Response and a twin pack of Superdrug ones. All went out of date at the beginning of the month but I bet they still work.

yorkiebilb Sat 07-Sep-13 21:00:40

Sorry to all those for who AF arrived. Hope you're treating yourselves in someway today.

kitty I have absolutely everything crossed for you.

thunder I am absolutely over the moon for you. Fantastic news! You must be so relieved after everything you've been through. Please please pop back and say hi on the thread...I feel sad that you're leaving us - happy for you of course though!

RevoltingPeasant Sat 07-Sep-13 21:10:53

Thunder, wow, your scan is amazing! That's only 12 weeks? I had no idea they could be so distinct then! Congrats. How did your mum react?

Thanks all for the tip on cheaply oPKs - I bought some last night. I think I didn't OV this month but hopefully they will help me establish for sure next cycle.

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 21:44:48

Ugh just has a shouting match with H (no dear right now) all over him using the loo I'd cleaned ready for tomorrow's visitors, we don't squabble about big stuff, it's always the stooopid petty stuff confused

Boodle9 Sat 07-Sep-13 22:42:23

Pip...I don't mind taking the tests off your hands if no one else is feeling cheeky! I dare say I'll be needing some over the coming months as the clomid continues to lengthen my LP and unfairly get my hopes up.

Bunny - that's exactly the sort of thing that me and my manlump would argue about! I often ban him from using the bathroom after I've cleaned in anticipation of visitors. We have a downstairs loo too but he sulks!

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 22:48:58

Phew boodle not just us then! lol. squabbling didn't last long and then he tried to jump on me, had to tell him no as itchy bitch in town, poor thing!

Pipbin Sat 07-Sep-13 23:08:26

Boodle PM me your details if you want them. I've got loads and there is little chance of me getting pg before my next IVF in 6 months, so they are only going to go to waste.

Boodle9 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:08:32

Nope, definitely not just you, Bunny! We're always bickering about little stuff. Very rarely have big arguments though, which suits me fine!

Kitty, my cycle buddy, good luck if you test tomorrow. I'm 12 DPO today so testing tomorrow is tempting but after last month's bitter disappointment I don't think I can be bothered. Also, I think I'm more like 11.5 DPO tomorrow as fertility friend tottered between ovulation at CD13 and CD 14. (It went for 13 when I put in my +OPK.)

Boodle9 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:11:44

I've PMed you, Pip, thank you. smile

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 23:13:45

Question, what do you count ovulation day as, first day you get +opk? What if you get + 2 days in a row?

Pipbin Sat 07-Sep-13 23:19:01

I count it as the day after a positive OPK.

Bunny ovulation is 18 to 36 hours on average after the peak of LH. So if you get 2 positives I would assume your peak was the middle of those two, then ovulation will happen approx (middle of the average) 18 hours later.
So... If you got +Ives mon and tue morning I would assume peak Monday eve and O on tue eve/wed morn. It's why i found temping helpful as it helped me to understand the average time from my +Ive OPK to O (for me at least 24 hours)

Bunnygirlie Sat 07-Sep-13 23:48:18

Ah! I usually get a positive one evening and the next day in the morning.

Another question then wise ones, So last few months I have had +opk on days 12/13 and 13/14 with a 27/28 day cycle, this month + was on days 17 and 18, how long will my cycle be do you think?
Am wondering when to expect AF! If 28 days then AF due Monday but I guess it will be more like end of the week?

Sorry if I'm being a thicko!

Assuming O on day 12, AF on day 28, LP is 15 days
Assuming O on day 13, AF on day 29, LP is 15 days
This cycle, assuming you Od on day 17, 17 + 15 = 32, so would guess AF on day 33

happylass Sun 08-Sep-13 08:38:39

Morning. Any news Kitty? Did you PIMP? (Or should that be PIYP? Would be weird if you'd peed in my pot!)

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 09:09:17

Well Dh had a winge that I was going to pimp today so haven't as yet so missed my fmu should have just done it anyway he's basically building everything up for wed now. He doesn't get that pimping early actually eases the shock of the bfn grr!!!! Sorry rant over!

happylass Sun 08-Sep-13 09:16:55

Kitty my DP is exactly the same. Tells me that I'm jinxing things by pimping early (as if) and he doesn't get that it's better just to know rather than spending days wondering am I or aren't I? so I just do it anyway and don't tell him unless he specifically asks

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 09:20:08

Thanks prof merk I guess I should expect AF Friday then, UGH that seems so far away!

Oh dear kitty

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 09:22:41

I have to say I'm in the 'wait until AF is late' gang so I never PIMP (unless it's an opk) because I never get that far

Oh kitty that is a disappointment to all of us! We love a bit of pimping!

I never tell OH when I'm pimping to be honest.

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 09:52:21

Tbh neither do I normally!!! Will keep my big fat trap shut in future! Try to convince him to come for a walk (for uterine blood flow enhancing) but anyone would think I've asked him to poke his eyes out!!!

Boodle9 Sun 08-Sep-13 13:33:09

Kitty, your bloke sounds just like mine. We went for a little walk earlier and it was a mammoth task to get him out the house for it!

Decided not to test this morning. I'm really not feeling it this month and my temps look like they might be on a downwards trend now.

SidneyBristow Sun 08-Sep-13 13:58:48

Kitty fx crossed for you bigtime!

thunder congrats on your scan; saw the photo & it brought a tear (or two, or a hundred) to my eye, so happy for you thanks

Barking how are you today? I think you made the right choice by staying in.

NHS intake appt yesterday was vastly different from the private one Monday: alone in the waiting room surrounded by posters of babies being breastfed and adverts for pg yoga and parenting classes. The nurse was 30min behind but very friendly and said she wished all her patients were like me bc I was so organized and came prepared hmm Basically she said the intake appt is to set up all remaining necessary tests and then arrange an appt with a consultant. Since I've had all the major tests, all she wants done is CD2-3/CD21 bloods redone, and SA redone, and can call in for an appt in early October.
I told her we're working with a private consultant & described the 2 rounds of clomid/onto IVF plan, and she said it was understandable although she couldn't definitively tell me that we were not eligible for NHS IVF due to existence of SKs. (which was aggravating).

She did say that Clomid isn't really for ladies like me who are regular and are ovulating, and kept referring to "when you get your period" and "when the Clomid doesn't work" which kind of felt like a kick in the teeth, even if that's how it's likely to go. Not really sure the point of making a consultant's appt but I suppose if we can get any applicable tests done/redone before going for IVF then that will be helpful.

She also said Clomid has a side effect of weight gain, but wouldn't say how much helpful. So, has anyone experienced this? I'm back to the gym tomorrow as she's put the fear in me that I'll pile it on and somehow get above the max BMI. I asked her if it was typically 1/2 stone, 1 stone, 2 stone, 3 stone etc and the most specific she'd get was that it wasn't usually 3 stone.

Actually the more I think about it, my conclusion is she was very nice and competent at the intake stuff but not as competent as she should've been on detailed stuff, which she brought up (I didn't ask about Clomid side effects), so I left there more confused and less optimistic than I went in.

cuckinfunt Sun 08-Sep-13 14:42:08

any1 ever bleed during ov?

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 15:07:34

sid I didn't gain weight with 4 rounds of clomid. Can't recall anyone else saying it either so would just eat healthy , take regular exercise and wouldn't worry about it. I do wish they'd told me the clomid prob wouldn't work as I had so much further to fall when it didn't!

Got told off for not being optimistic today hmm so promise to start skipping (down the yellow brick road) once I've a a snooze on the pouffe of possibility

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 15:35:09

sid sorry to hear nhs appt wasn't as positive as private. sounds like private could be the way to go for speed and action.

Anyone able to give me a dose of optimism please as it seems to have gone AWOL ? I've got my 2nd fc appt tomorrow morning and I'm freaking out today. sid NHS appt doesn't give me much hope either for getting any conclusion about what is going on,

I'm waiting on my 2nd fsh test results and petrified they're going to be higher than my first high results meaning I'll be refused treatment on NHS. Literally shaking and stomach churning about it all. Need to calm myself down somehow.

sid sorry you didn't find the appointment useful. It's strange she couldn't even tell you the guidelines for IVF eligibility. I hadn't heard anything about clomid making you put weight on, and I actually lost weight the month I started taking it. Given you're only taking 5 tablets a month it would seem unlikely, but maybe it does something to your hormones that affects weight? I wouldn't worry about it too much. My consultant said clomid was very unlikely to work for me as I was already ovulating, but it's all a numbers game, and clomid will boost ovulation and give you a tiny percentage more chance, so it's always worth a go. Just wish clomid could make them stick as well sad.

I've had cramps and bleeding for 4 days now, although the bleeding is nowhere near as bad as it was last night when it was bright red and full of clots, the cramps have got worse again. Fed up and want it all to stop. Finding it difficult to remain positive but don't want to believe all hope is gone either. I know unexplained bleeding is very common and often the pg continues without further problems, but the bad cramps, and the fact that I've had them for 4 days now, is not helping me build a plausible, positive picture. I'm still terrified about the scan on Thursday, and what might happen next if it's bad news. It's the not knowing what's going on in there that's so difficult sad.

kitty I can't believe you didn't pimp!!
Get back on that yellow brick road! <gives kitty a friendly shove in the right direction>

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 16:01:36

Oh barking so sorry to read about what you're going through at the moment. You poor thing. Hope your DP is looking after you. I completely agree the not knowing and waiting is the worst thing. Thinking about you and got everything crossed for you on Thursday x

Boodle9 Sun 08-Sep-13 16:29:20

Barking, I'm so sorry you're stuck in this state of limbo. I really hope that the cramps and bleeding disappear very soon and that this is just a bit of your body settling in and adjusting.

Sid, sorry about your disappointing appointment. I've not had any private appointments (yet) but I can relate to the 'not-very-helpful' nature of your NHS experience, that's for sure.

Yorkie, you sound like you need to take your mind off it. Anywhere you can go to do something for the evening? Failing that, get drunk and pass out

I'm starting to feel the mildest of twinges every so often. I think AF is hitting the snooze button, but she's definitely stirring. Sulk.

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 17:33:42

<skips in> thanks for the nudge barking! Can't pretend I have any idea what you're going through but we're all here for you if you need us smile. I did actually pimp although it was technically pointless as I'd had 2 pints of tea by that point!

boodle this bit is so annoying isn't it? The 'am I?, aren't I?' bit. We all deserve a break after these years of ttc, don't we?! X

Thanks boodle and yorkie but I'm losing faith very quickly. Googled to find some reassurance that there could possibly still be hope, but all the 'normal' blood they talk about is spotting and/or brown coloured with little or no pain. Yesterday was heavy, red blood with clots, and the pain is varied but overall not getting better, still painful enough that I'm hugging the wheat bag to my stomach and not comfortable walking around. Then I found this: "If you notice fresh, red blood with clots, possibly accompanied by pain, this can signal the start of a miscarriage." Not exactly the reassurance I was looking for sad.

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 17:35:14

yorkie you never know, you're second fsh might be better! When do you find out? X

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 17:40:11

barking not wanting to quote my Dh and fc but maybe you shouldn't 'google' anything right now and call you're epu tomorrow morning

CharmingCats Sun 08-Sep-13 17:42:18

Hello Berries! I'm sorry for having been AWOL for so long. The start of term has knocked me for six and I've been sleeping a lot! Promise to try harder this week onwards!
So pleased to read your news, everyone. I've missed the humour and wisdom.
Barking are you having the bleeding checked at all?
tally how are you today?
thunder what a lovely scan!
Chez-moi, I went to see my FC on Monday, narrowly missing sid in the waiting room grin .
The metformin has worked in regulating my cycles to 35 days, but obv not pg! So, I have faith in the diagnosis of PCO and that metformin is a good thing for me.
We discussed short luteal phase and very light af. FC took me seriously and explained that he doesn't entirely trust opks in PCO cases, so my luteal phase may be fine. Spotting has been starting on 10dpo. So, I'm having a monitored cycle this cycle. I'm going back for a scan tomorrow evening, cd19 as I think I ov around cd 24. He wants to see if that looks to be the case. Once that's happened, he can make a plan, which may involve clomid. He said the cramps I've been getting from ov to af are a good sign of 'things happening'. With regard to the very light periods, he put that down to things settling down. He did mention that I could have a mc, as it suggests the lining would not be thick enough for implantation, but that he would give me meds to support the lining if I were to fall pg.
Nice, nice, nice!
On it goes......
A friend who is pg with her second told me over the summer that they had been frustrated as it had taken them 6 months to conceive no2! (suggesting no1 was on first squirt, as DH puts it). I shrieked at her.... My only remaining childless friend is getting married next month and is off the pill and has worked out her window of conception from next month. Bet she's diffed by xmas and I'm popping pills. ho hum.
Have to figure out how on earth we're going to find time or energy to dtd now I'm back teaching.....had so hoped to score over the holidays!
cake to you all x

I know kitty, it doesn't help blush.
I went into epu on Thursday because I'd been spotting (had a scan which showed no heartbeat but they didn't know whether it was just too early due to late ovulation/conception rather than bad news) and I called them Saturday morning when the bleeding got heavier and cramps were worse and again last night when it was bright red with clots. She said it could be an early miscarriage but they wouldn't know until I get another scan this coming Thursday. Yesterday I was convinced it would all be ok and I just had to get through it. Today, with the cramps getting worse, I'm struggling to remain positive. It feels so unfair to have to start all over again. Doesn't help that the woman next door went into labour this morning, and will shortly be bringing home her 4th baby to walk with past my door every day sad.

Pipbin Sun 08-Sep-13 18:07:17

Oh Barking sending you love, hugs and some of the cake I've just made.
I really hope it's ok.

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 18:18:10

barking please step away from dr google, it won't help and you'll only freak yourself out on there with worst case scenarios. Were you told to ring back if the bleeding or cramps got any worse?

kitty I haven't even contemplated they could go down tbh. I've just resigned myself to the fact they will go up and that will be the end of that. It's tomorrow morning at 10 am. I think because I genuinely don't know what they are going to say I am going through worst case scenarios in my head and scaring myself shitless! boodle you're right I need to do something to distract as I'm just winding myself up even more.

Anything good on tv to distract all us fretting berries?

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 18:23:50

barking so sorry to hear this. I'd the epu able to bring it forward? Have you tested again? So sorry you've also got to deal with your neighbour. Wish I could fling my arms around you right now and make everything ok.

charming 6 months??? Dear god, she must be going out of her her mind hmm

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 18:33:39

sid sorry to hear your appt was more positive

kitty my DH always tells me off for being negative, but to be fair I usually am right and life is indeed pants! 

Sitting under the duvet of despair! yorkie come sit with me

barking so sorry you feel so blue, is your other half back yet? x

boodle room under this duvet for you too! And you barking, it's very cosy!

Welcome back charming glad you had a good appt! One of my friends is about to come off the pill and I bet she is an instadiffer too!!!

pip ta for the cake

yorkie I'm watching Stardust on Channel 4! whilst still failing to finish my lesson plans

kitty I can't imagine testing would tell me anything as I'd still have enough hormones to make the line even if it had gone as far as I understand it but I could be wrong. They've already moved the scan forward as much as they will, as they won't do two scans less than 7 days apart as they want to give it long enough to see a change or not.

Bunny he's due back anytime!!!

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 18:50:00

thanks for the invite bunny yes I will join you under the duvet of despair. You feeling down too bunny?

Oh I love stardust. Just turned onto channel 4 + 1 to watch the beginning. Thanks barking Glad to hear your other half is nearly back. They might not be able to say the right thing but they do give good hugs when needed.

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 19:02:57

bunny exactly! Any glimmer of hope at any time might have made me optimistic but it hasn't! Also, if (what seems like) the world keeps telling me about my 15% chance of conceiving its hard to be positive! I swear people keep thinking I've forgotten lol!

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 19:04:39

barking big hugs when he gets in!

yorkie just a bit fed up yeah, I can feel AF coming but due to late ov she probably won't arrive till Friday! Based on my usual cycle it would have been tomorrow, the waiting when you know the inevitable is coming is just cruel!

Sorry to be stumbling upon so many fretting and down in the dumps berries. Yorkie will be thinking of you tomorrow, Barking you know where I am, everyone in the 2ww remember its not over until the fat lady sings.
I am relegated to the bedroom (unless I really want to watch the new Star Wars film) as OH and his cousin have taken over the living room. That's the downside of having everything open plan as I only have the bedrooms or bathrooms to escape into! Am having a huge wardrobe tidy up, which is good, but am at that stage where I am bored but the bedroom currently looks like a bombsite so have to keep going. Grrr

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 19:20:43

merk I'm banished to the bedroom as well as Dh and his friends are watching American football. I'm doing nothing productive though! Not with corra and x-factor on anyway! X

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 19:24:03

Tidying or chucking things out?!?

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 19:27:28

Thanks merk I know exactly how you feel about enthusiastically starting a clear out and then wanting to give up half way through when you realise how much work it involves! Hope all is well with you.

Sorry that you think AF is on its way bunny

Hello all

I'm the only one watching countryfile then

Tricky week going on here isn't it? barking you definitely need to step away from dr google although I am always on there myself.

yorkie my lovely- may the time speed toward tomorrow for you. I know you're dreading it but I really think that like you say it's the not knowing that is the really hard bit. We can deal with facts but the unknown is almost impossible to deal with.

blind, I wee on that 15% and give you much better odds. Come on!

And you bunny, you don't know that you won't get the same signals the month you get your bfp. And I'm holding out that it is this month of course!

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 19:51:52

Ah good ol thunder with her positivity, sorting us silly berries out! We'll miss you when you're gone! sad

You won't blind cos you're coming with me.

Used to be very unpositive and I am so lucky to have been given a ray of sunshine which I never believed I would see. So yep, I'm sharing that!

bear bear bear bear bear

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 20:20:53

Oh thunder you positive lovely thing you!

And how do you make teddys?

Put 'bear' in the square brackets bunny

I'm handing out teddies and hot chocolate and spreading a few more duvets about. But not despair ones. Just snuggly Sunday night chill out distraction ones.

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 20:37:08

Oh please take us with you!!! <climbs into the hold regardless of childless state>. thunder will make such a good mum, look how she's sorting all of us out! Who will teach us all of this new 'teddy' stuff?!! <climbs under the duvet of distraction and turns x-factor up --even if bunny is glaring at her-->

cuckinfunt Sun 08-Sep-13 20:40:13

Thanks for ignoring - will go elsewhere

Cuckin, I assumed you had posted by accident as you didn't introduce yourself etc

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 20:44:59

Grabs bear and snuggles under duvet of despair distraction!

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 20:45:33

Yep we like to know a gal before we chat!

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 20:45:54

Lovely wise thunder we need you to look after us. ha ha I've got an image of me, kitty and bunny clinging on to your legs as we try to get you to take us with you!

Stardust finished so up for watching anything in the berry house now <settles down for the night>

Hope the fact barking has gone quiet means her other half has appeared and is looking after her.

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 20:59:01

cukin I thought you'd posted by accident as well! Normally people just start their own threads with questions like that!

Ladies I will leave if you feel more comfortable with me gone. Please just say and I'll understand. In the meantime, I now have Lindt chocolates....?

<trying to bribe her ticket to stay for now>

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 21:14:13

Lol at image of berries clinging desperately to thunders legs grin

thunder as an original berry and the one who accidentally 'pushed out' the first grads by asking them to chat about prams elsewhere I feel I should say something, STAY!
You obviously have the helicopter thread to chat about baby stuff but please pop and see us lots (along with the other copter girls), share advice and let us know how you are getting on x

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 21:14:54

<scoffs lindt>

Yes, yorkie, lovely DP is back. He said he was very sorry for leaving me this weekend and wouldn't again (even though it was me who insisted and practically pushed him out of the door). He went to the supermarket to find me more painkillers and ordered a takeaway smile .

Bleeding however is getting worse again as are the cramps. Mate keeps telling me if my body is rejecting it there's a good reason and it just wasn't supposed to happen this time sad .

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 21:40:28

Ha! Really? I didn't know that! Think I joined this thread about feb so must have missed it!!!

CharmingCats Sun 08-Sep-13 21:43:28

barking thinking of you

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 21:43:53

Oh barking so sorry to hear the bleeding is worse but glad dp is looking after you

RevoltingPeasant Sun 08-Sep-13 21:47:49

Barking I'm really sorry. Look, I don't know if this helps, but if the worst has happened, you do know you can get pg and that is one big step. Also bleeding doesn't necessarily mean mc, does it?

That must be very, very tough and so worrying, though.

RevoltingPeasant Sun 08-Sep-13 21:50:17

....I had a .2 rise in bbt ths morning and wonder if perhaps I OV late - it's CD16 for me - but DH doesn't want to break open a new pack of his meds so we can't do anything about t this month. Garrrr I really need to sort out properly when I'm OV.

rumisyum Sun 08-Sep-13 21:55:28

<tiptoes in, leaves homemade courgette and lime cake>

Bunny - 33, cycle 15, AF due sometime after 9/9, first FC appt mid sept
Blindkitty - 33yrs, cycle 25, multicystic ovaries, 1st iui, af due 11/9
Funkymonk - 31yrs. Cycle 12. First FC appt 10th Oct. AF due 6th Oct and I will of course not need the FC appt as will just have had my bfp a few days earlier!! Trying acupuncture and reflexology.
Yorkiebib - ttc since Sep 2012, mmc Dec 2012. High fsh, high amh results. Awaiting 2nd fc appt 9/9.
Kuma - 38, TTC all year and generally in quite a bad mood about it....
Happylass, 35, 13 cycles of TTC under my belt but currently taking a break. First FC appointment Sept 20th
Pipbin TTC since April 2011, one failed practice IVF cycle, not sure on dates right now.
Sidney, 38, TTC cycle 15, AF due 20/9, first FC appt tomorrow night (private) + surprisingly fast NHS FC appt set for Sat 7/9.
Lady - TTC since Jan 2012, starting private IVF this month
Revolting, aged 34 sob and ttc cycle 4 now
Boodle, 30, cycle 26 in total and 2nd cycle on clomid. Not sure when AF due as LP usually 9 days but was 15 days on 1st clomid cycle.
Snow - 33, TTC since Dec 2012, trying GL eating plan and acupuncture. AF due about now.
Spare - 31 (for another 2 weeks!), TTC since Dec 12, CD12, FC appt booked for October
Gillster - 39, TTC since March 2012. Need to have fibroid removed (October/November?) but apart from that all tests so far OK. On waiting list for IVF and awaiting date for initial consultation.
Fox - 30 (for another week!) TTC since December 2012. AF due 21/9
Rum - 32, TTC bloody fecking ages, AF due 16/9, FC appt pre-IVF this week!

Graduates
Barking - 34, bfp on cycle 21 of ttc. As of today I'm 7+3 and still terrified it won't stick/there's nothing there.
Thunder - 34, bfp on 15 July, ttc 14 months, mmc last year. Petrified too. Scan is this sat
Merkin - 31, bfp Jul 29th, 11+2 today, dating scan next week
Tally,- 33, approx 8weeks, in hospital with stupid sickness. 3 x mmc in past but heartbeat still there today.
Haycorn - 31, approx. 8 weeks. Terrified this will disappear and will have to start all over again.

barking I'm so very sorry. thanks What you're going through sounds awful.

yorkie I'm intrigued by your FSH research! I can't really be arsed to do any as we're just going to try the one cycle of IVF we can get on the NHS anyway, so it all seems to be down to a wing and prayer in a way. But I'd be keen to know of any ways one could "improve" the number/egg quality. Presumably just eating well/exercise/etc? <eyes cake regretfully>

You ladies chat a LOT. Then again, I've been off t'internets for a whole week. shock Work has been running me into the ground. But I've also started a sewing course, which is great fun. And it's autumn! I love autumn. It's so cosy. I shall think lots of cosy thoughts at our FC pre-IVF consultation appointment this week. I've just read some of your other experiences with interest.

Anyway. Must go to bed or I shall never function tomorrow.

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 21:58:37

Glad he's there with you barking so sorry you're going through this. We're all here for you. I hope you're not planning on going into work tomorrow. You need to rest and look after yourself.

happylass Sun 08-Sep-13 22:00:03

Barking so sorry to hear that the bleeding is getting worse but glad to hear your DP is home and you're being looked after.

I can indeed confirm that Bunny single handedly evicted the original grads for too much baby talk, so Thunder you should be honoured that you're allowed to stay wink

Fx for you tomorrow Yorkie

Kitty are you testing tomorrow??

Thanks RP. Bleeding by itself doesn't necessarily spell doom, and spotting or brown blood is considered normal, but bright red blood, lots of it, with clots and nasty lumps in it, is generally not good news. It's also not a good sign that it's been getting heavier over the last 4 days, or that it's accompanied by really bad cramps. I can't even see the yellow brick road from where I am right now.

Just typed a massive waffle and then deleted it as I'm rambling now. Need to finish my planning so I can email it to school and then go to bed.

Thanks happy/yorkie/rum, xpost while I was rambling....

I don't know what I'd have done over the past few days without the berries.

BlindKitty Sun 08-Sep-13 22:06:33

happy well it'd be rude not to even if I have to keep it from Dh

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 22:18:07

I love my friends in rl but unless they've been ttc a long time or been through a mc then they don't really understand how it feels no matter how lovely they are. That's what we're here for barking to support each other because we know how it feels.

Thanks happy

rum I'll let you know if my fsh research made a bind bit of difference to my figures after tomorrow. Fx for your appt next week.

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 22:20:16

Hugs barking wishing you a restful night with better news tomorrow x

yorkiebilb Sun 08-Sep-13 22:20:56

blind good luck with the testing tomorrow

Bunnygirlie Sun 08-Sep-13 22:21:09

Break a leg kitty

funkymonk Sun 08-Sep-13 22:26:35

So so sorry Barking. I can really empathise with how you are feeling right now and all the thoughts rushing through your head.
Good luck for the morning kitty

Bunny, blind, boodle, good luck for testing today (nudge nudge)
Yorkie FX your appointment goes well

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 06:49:16

yorkie good luck for today bud

barking really hope you're feeling better today

Boodle9 Mon 09-Sep-13 07:06:15

No testing for me. Crashing temps and spotting. It's game over. Good luck to others.

blind good luck for testing today?

yorkie loads of luck for the appointment. We're all with you!

bunny thank you smile. There will be no baby talk from me. The thought of talking about prams made me feel like I might be a bit sick in my mouth.

flowers for barking

Oh crap sorry boodle. Rubbish rubbish rubbish.

happylass Mon 09-Sep-13 07:28:00

Sorry Boodle. Probably a bit early for wine but have some cake

Kitty??

Boodle do crashing temps definitely rule you out? sad

kitty have you pimped?!

yorkie good luck

I'm on day 5 of bleeding and cramps. Called epu and they've brought my scan forward again to tomorrow morning at 9.

happylass Mon 09-Sep-13 07:35:34

Barking how are you feeling today? Hope you are going to stay at home and rest. Glad to hear scan has been brought forward. Thinking of you x

Yes Happy, day 5 on the aofa watching murder mysteries and trying to get some knitting done as the last 4 days have taught me lesson planning doesn't happen just by having the laptop open on your knee all day with the relevant documents ready

An afoa is like a sofa but better, in case anyone was wondering.

Bunnygirlie Mon 09-Sep-13 08:21:54

Morning!

barking there isn't much more for me to say other than us berries are here for you x

Bad merk !

Oh boodle that's crappy! I will probably be joining you by the end of the week!

Heading from the duvet of despair to the desk of depression today, not quite where I thought life would be on our second anniversary sad

I am v jealous of your aofa

Hi all

Just popping in to see how everyone is, missing you guys up in the copter! Can echo Thunder's promise that pram chat is vile strictly a no-go area!

Who is pimping today? Kitty, Bunny?? Good luck!

Boodle sorry this wasn't your month sad

Is your appt today Yorkie? Hope it goes well!

Rum <mumbles through crumbs> this here courgette and lime cake....recipe?! In return, I have brought my slightly less exciting offer of warm scones with clotted cream, made for an afternoon tea hen party (don't ask) this afternoon!

And a massive wave to all that I haven't name checked!

happylass Mon 09-Sep-13 10:50:46

Boom great to see you. How's things? Have you started the new job yet?

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 12:31:06

Hi barking hope you managed to get some sleep last night and have the boxsets/good tv lined up for today. I'm around
working from home if you need someone to chat to.

So sorry af got you boodle

So got back from my fc appt and still as confused as ever unfortunately. My fsh levels came back as 11 which is slightly lower than my last lot but still higher than they want to see. My hsg was all clear and my progesterone is slightly low - its 27 and they like to see over 30. Anyway, they hadn't bloody seen the letter I sent through to them about my amh so had to go through that with them. So up until that point my fsh was worrying, then as soon as he saw the amh he suddenly dismissed my fsh saying that amh is more accurate (but they don't do do the tests on the nhs) and the results show decent levels suggesting okay ovarian reserve. I tried to mention about the private consultant suggesting that it could be a sign of multicystic ovaries masking my true amh but this was dismissed out of hand.

So, the consultant wants me to go on clomid for 6 months which doesn't fill me with confidence considering my fsh levels. I've read that it can raise your fsh levels and my ovarian reserve is only going to get worse not better. He won't monitor me and I have to do it for 6 months before I will be even considered for ivf referral. He also said that in the meantime my fsh could go up and the cut off for nhs is 15 meaning I would be refused nhs ivf treatment if it was higher than this. It's amazing how one minute the fsh levels are irrelevant when I presented them with my amh figure but as soon as referrals are mentioned fsh suddenly becomes so much more important again! Basically I have to jump through a load of hoops to be referred and there is the possibility of not getting any referral at the end of it.

Anyway, the nurse at the private consultation we had suggested having a antral follicle count to get a better indication of reserve and a monitored cycle to see if multicystic ovaries are causing any problems. This obviously is going to cost alot of money but I think I need to do this as I'm so confused about what the hell is going on. I have just rung up the private clinic and waiting for them to call me back as they need to check if I can have the afc and monitored cycle done if I am on clomid.

Sorry for the long winded response. I don't know how I feel about this all and whether playing the nhs waiting game is going to cause more harm than good. Any advice oh wise berries?

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 12:32:09

oh and thanks so much for all your good luck messages. It really helped when I was sat in the waiting room looking at pg ladies and shaking with fear!

Oh gosh yorkie more confusion was exactly what I was hoping would be AVOIDED by this appointment! Damnit. How annoying. BUT it's not terrible news as you feared, so that's one good thing.

I'm really sorry that I can't offer any good advice on what should actually be the next steps/impact of clomid but I reckon you should go for the private appointment. Can the private advice supersede the NHS one and still get you on the list for ivf if appropriate? It sounds like they are much more helpful than the NHS one in terms of doing the tests and giving you real information that you can actually understand and work with.

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 12:45:50

boodle you're not out just yet! Temps aren't that reliable!

barking any better?

Well I pimped with a ic this morning and the usual result. Will keep going until the fat lady sings. Although I knew it was a slim chance the iui would work, I'm glad we've tried it (still 2 to go). At least we can say that ivf is definitely the way forward

yorkie sorry for the further confusion. It sounds like standard NHS treatment though unfortunately. 6 months unmonitored on clomid then a further referral. No interest in anything you have to say as you've probably just been googling (pretty much what the consultant said to me).

Hope the private clinic get back to you and are more knowledgeable.

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 12:53:13

yorkie have you had a trans vaginal scan to confirm multicystic ovaries? Will the fc at least monitor your progesterone on clomid. Personally, in hind sight of previous clomid and multicystic ovaries I would pay for at least 1 cycle with scans. I wasn't monitored and they now feel that I had 2 many non dominant follicles on clomid but we'll obviously never know.

Just a thought- how does private fc cost compare with private ivf? It might be that either way you want to save your money towards private ivf if that's going to be more likely to be successful? Depends how private fc is likely to help you I think.

Sorry to add more questions!

I'm good thanks Happy, no idea when the job starts but not until I get my registration through, so October at the earliest I should think.

Yorkie sadly that sounds so similar to my last FC appt. It seems to me that on the NHS you aren't allowed to question any arbitrary decisions made by power-mad consultants! And the right hand never seems to know what the left is doing. Of course it depends on cost, but I do think if you can afford private then you stand a much better chance of success. Isn't it ironic, I spent months trying to get clomid and they wouldn't give me any, but they hand it out like sweeties to anyone it probably won't work for! I hope your private clinic at least manages to clear up some of the confusion for you x

Kitty stupid ic not giving the answer you wanted. What cd are you now? It ain't over til it's over!

Bunny have some flowers and cake for your anniversary! Sorry you're feeling low, will the husband do something nice to cheer you up later do you think?

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 13:02:40

kitty sorry you got a bfn. It's not over yet though and I've still got your fx for you for the next two cycles though.

Thanks for your advice ladies. kitty I had a scan done in 2010 which showed multicystic ovaries but two done this year with no mention of it so no it hasn't been confirmed recently but shown in the past. NHS want to do another two months testing fsh and day 21 levels and want to see me again in after two cycles time to discuss how I've responded to clomid. I asked the consultant if they would monitor (do a scan) me on clomid and he said nah!

In the meantime I think I will definitely have the private monitored cycle and they can also do the afc as another ovarian reserve check. I agree kitty I think the monitored cycle is important as I've read with multicystic ovaries you could be more susceptible to OHSS. The nhs consultant talked to me about this and scared the hell out of me!

How are you doing today barking?

Sorry kitty flowers

No better here. More blood & clots, more cramps, same old.. Scared myself silly when I realised I could potentially be bleeding like this for another 3 weeks. Realisation dawned today that I'm 99% likely to be miscarrying right now. Can't stop crying sad. The idea of pimping in a couple of weeks for a bfn to check it's all gone is so depressing after it took 22 cycles to get a bfp. And I really wish I hadn't eagerly worked out my predicted due date, it's branded across my mind already. I also need to get rid of the images in my head of me with a bump on my wedding day. I'm basically driving myself insane and feel like I'm speeding down a hill with no brakes, just waiting for the inevitable crash.

Those of you who've been here, how the hell did you pull yourself out of it?

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 13:08:48

thunder it's going to cost around £600 for private fc consultant with an afc and monitored cycle. Gulp!

I think I'm going to try and sell my wedding dress to put towards it!

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 13:22:03

barking so sorry you feel so down. If it is a mc you have plenty of us on here that know exactly how you're feeling and how you're going to feel and we're with your every step of the way. The best advice I can give is to deal with one day at a time. You're in limbo land at the moment not knowing what the hell is going on and waiting for an appt. Not knowing is the worst for me I think because you're not in control in the situation and you don't know how to move forward. Whatever, happens tomorrow you'll have a better idea of what the hell is happening. As I said we're here for you and can understand how you're feeling x

SidneyBristow Mon 09-Sep-13 13:30:04

Bunny happy anniversary; I hope you two can do something fun tonight flowers

Blind you and I have the same attitude; there's comfort in the idea of not jumping straight to IVF but I know it's disappointing all the same that the IUI didn't work this time. Big hugs to you. You can return the favor in a couple of weeks when I'll need some! wink

Barking really sorry this is happening and v glad they've brought your scan forward. Will be thinking of you every minute til then & hoping you get some good answers xx

Boodle & others thanks for the info re: clomid & weight gain. Accdg to Sir Google, it's a side effect in 1% of responders. Would explain why she couldn't narrow down whether avg gain was 1/2 stone or >3 stone but not explain why she thought it urgent enough to warn me about in the first place hmm

Yorkie grr at your consultant!! Sneaky idea though, would it be possible to fake taking the clomid? if they aren't willing to monitor then it seems like a big risk to take; the cons outweigh the pros, or am I misreading your post? Barring that, if it were me, I'd definitely do the monitored cycle privately. From my private consultant's talk last week, I understand that they do 2 or 3 scans to make sure the clomid actually is working to make follicles mature, and then do a trigger to make them pop, so you know for sure that you're DTD at the right times. If you're already ovulating, then I would think clomid without monitoring would be just as effective as, say, temping or going by an app to tell you when your most fertile days are. I'm a bit spooked as my cons. said I'd ovulate Weds, and at the time I thought he was clearly mistaken as it was about 5 days before my FF app said I would - I am nearly positive he was right, judging by OPKs/cramping etc. I dread to think I've put us through months of heartache by relying on apps that could be that far off. If your FSH is getting near a cutoff, I'd say that you need to give the Clomid the best chance possible, or just not take it, wait the 6 months and hope the NHS will then give you IVF.

Sorry to not name-check everyone else with news; am trying to catch up on things! <waves at everyone, throwing out fancy chocolates and dishing out hugs as if her Berry membership depends on it>

SidneyBristow Mon 09-Sep-13 13:37:19

oh Barking cross-posted
Please don't beat yourself up over knowing your EDD or any of the other exciting things that go along with a new pregnancy. You did all the right things, and are still doing all the right things; it's normal to be excited about major life changes and I can only imagine how scary and upsetting what you're going through is, as I've never been in that situation and really hate that you are. At the scan tomorrow I'm sure they'll have some answers for you and will be able to tell you what to expect. Just hang on until then. I'm not sure how to pull yourself out of it; I've always been the type to wallow in her feelings so as to get them used up more quickly. Please don't feel bad for being upset and disappointed....be kind to yourself and in the meantime we'll help you until you're feeling stronger thanks thanks thanks

Sid did your OPKs show wed O too?
Barking, sending huge hugs. If it is bad need i would say you need to prepared to take some time off work to recover both physically and mentally. Go easy on yourself and do not expect to be back to normal quickly, also its fine to be upset. On the flip side remember this is the worst it will get, and you know you can get pregnant and there is no stats to suggest you will be waiting another 22 months. I know you are strong but I think you need to call your OH home from work for cuddles and emotional support x

need news

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 13:51:17

sid thanks for your advice. My progesterone is lower than they want - boderline so can't say for definite if I am ovulating or not hence why they want to chuck clomid at me and see what my levels are like after that.

If we could afford to go straight to private ivf then we would. The problem is we haven't got the money to throw at it unless absolutely necessary and with the kind support of my mil for one cycle. It's such a confusing thing as to when you decide when absolutely necssary is! If we can get ivf on nhs then obv we would want to try this first as we'd get three goes but if we can't then of course we would go down private route.

Is IVF abroad much cheaper? Could that be an option?
The NHS could probably afford to give everyone in the UK 5 cycles of IVF if they stopped handing out Clomid left right and centre!

SidneyBristow Mon 09-Sep-13 14:47:08

Merk Yes OPKs pointed towards Weds ov. DTD Tues & Weds, let's hope the secret to getting knocked up is DTD as little as possible hmm not holding my breath for this cycle.

yorkie I hope I didn't sound preachy with any of what I said. It's the worst, trying to make decisions that are rational, trying to juggle emotions/finances/timeframes etc. My decisions nowadays are based around time not being on my side, and NHS IVF not being available to us. It makes certain things a little clearer but yes the financial aspect of it is chilling, and it makes sense to stick with NHS care as long as you can. I just wish my savings were being raided for an around the world cruise, or towards a bigger house, rather than for something my body is not cooperating on! Or more to the point I wish decisions my DH made in the past weren't so deeply affecting my life in yet another way, but that's a whole 'nother thread.

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 15:12:06

merk abroad is something to think about I guess. In my mind I'm thinking to try clomid for 3 months and then make a decision then based on fsh results at the time. I've just got a private consultation done but they can't see me until 24 October by which time I'll be on 2nd cycle of clomid.

sid how quickly did you get to see you private consultant? Did you say you were anywhere near London? Just thought I could perhaps see another one if it was going to be quicker. Of course I don't think you're being preachy - I'll take all the impartial advice I can get cos at the moment I think my head is going to explode!

BelissimaLol Mon 09-Sep-13 15:27:11

Barking I miscarried at 7 weeks, after trying for 18 months. My world did fall apart but time does heal the pain and you start to pick yourself up. You will never forget the due date or the date you lost your baby (if this is really what is happening to you) but you think about it less. For me what helped was to try again as soon as I could. I did bleed for 4 weeks but not heavily. I got pg again on my 4th cycle after mc. Research suggests you are more fertile after it. I'm not sure if it is true but it seems to have worked for me.
My best advice is that you do need time to lick your wounds and pick yourself up. I have a very stressful job in a bank with lots of responsibilities and don't remember ever being off sick but with this I took 2 weeks off as I could not face the world. When I went back I decided to tell my team and that helped me massively. It's incredible how many people go through it and hugs from those who know exactly how you feel does help.
Finally don't beat yourself up and don't try to put on a brave face. Allow yourself to be sad and grieve for your baby.
Lots of love. I'll bugger off the thread again now grin

SidneyBristow Mon 09-Sep-13 15:29:57

IIRC the appt was set for about 2.5 weeks after I called in; consultant was on holiday for one of those weeks, and since I was having a hycosy, it had to be done during a certain part of my cycle. If you want me to PM you this FC's details just let me know. I looked online based on proximity & price, & a personal recommendation tipped the scales. Another idea for you might be to have testing done at a FC that you might be interested in using for IVF, if the time comes. IE the place my NHS trust works with does NHS & private clients also, and it hadn't occurred to me til last week that getting them to do a hycosy might give me the chance to see how they operate, without being under the gun to choose a clinic for IVF without any prior experience, per se. (i've articulated that horribly but have a blinding headache so maybe it makes sense?)

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 16:09:30

Thanks sid yes if you can pm me the consultant that would be great. Thanks v much for your advice and you too other lovely berries.

barking we're here if you want to rant, chat, cry etc.

Thanks Bel, it really helps to hear from the people who understand. My concern is that I didn't manage to conceive until we tried clomid, and I won't be able to take it again until my cycles have settled and I know I can identify CD2 to start taking the tablets. Basically, I think the only thing that will help is to start trying again as soon as possible, I just need to get past the waiting to be able to start the tablets again.

Thanks Yorkie, I'm currently trying to list all the things I should be thankful for rather than the 'woe is me/life is unfair' list I was making earlier. I'm dreading the two weddings this weekend. There will be pg women and babies at both. But equally, don't want to miss the weddings.

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 16:28:02

barking it didn't take all that long for my cycles to settle after my mmc. I had my procedure in the Dec and started trying again in Jan and everything appeared back to normal (ovulating again). I didn't try and see if I was ov in Dec as I decided to give myself until Jan for everything to settle down. I think they suggest giving yourself a cycle to get back to normal but that's only cos it confuses them if you get pg inbetween and they then have no idea about dates etc. what time is your scan tomorrow?

barking as you know I had a mmc last year. I didn't have to deal with bleeding, which sounds so upsetting. But getting the surprise at the 12 week scan had its own horrific effect as you can imagine.

I think I dealt with it differently than a lot of people in that I felt very philosophical about nature doing what was best for that pregnancy if it wasn't viable. But I had only taken a few months to get my bfp and had no idea of the issues ahead- mostly thyroid related. So I can understand how your long wait before this has made it so much more upsetting.

Like yorkie, my cycles settled down quickly afterwards. In fact I got a period 4 weeks after the procedure and ovulated the cycle after that so there is no reason why it will take long for you to get back to normal if it has all gone wrong. And it is true that you are more likely to conceive in the 6 months following mc than other times- your body is geared up and ready to go.

With the emotional side of things you really have to give yourself a massive break. Stop feeling bad or silly or like you should be doing/feeling anything. Acknowledge this is an awful and sad situation and let yourself deal with that and heal. And yes, consider the next 2 weeks off work. I thought I'd be back after a few days and I tried and failed and felt like a failure. You need time and rest. Go steady and slow.

And there is absolutely no reason why you won't have that bump for your wedding my lovely.

BelissimaLol Mon 09-Sep-13 16:58:40

Also on the technical side if you tell your boss you had a miscarriage they have to register the sickness as pregnancy related which means it can't be used against you for triggers etc.
what time is the scan tomorrow? Maybe I'll hover over here a bit longer if that's okbrew

yorkiebilb Mon 09-Sep-13 17:01:47

I completely agree with thunder on the emotional side. I went back to work two days after and poo-pooed any suggestion of taking more time off. In the end I ended up 'working' from home for a week as it had more of an impact then I thought so please please give yourself time to deal with it all. The hardest thing was learning to say no to stuff that I wasn't ready for but thought I should be e.g. Meeting a pg friend or going somewhere where you know they'll be loads of children. You need to be a bit selfish for a while. I know you mentioned the wedding this weekend but if it does get too much then leave or go somewhere for half an hour for an escape and a good cry or chat to us berries.

happylass Mon 09-Sep-13 17:48:13

Yorkie so sorry things are confusing for you at the moment flowers

Barking you've had some great advice from Lol (lovely to see you by the way, welcome anytime!) and the others so I won't say anything more than take all the time you need, look after yourself and allow others to look after you too flowers

Kitty sorry about the BFN but its not over yet!

flowers too for everyone being visited by AF

Sad times at Berry HQ sad. Gonna have to start re building that yellow brick road!

BelissimaLol Mon 09-Sep-13 17:52:59

Hi happygrin thanks for the welcome. Ever since I got booted last time I've been a bit shy about coming back!
Yeah tough times however they always tend to be followed by exciting times aheadgringrin
Keep us posted barking x

Scan is 9am tomorrow.

I'm really torn on telling work. I don't want to officially admit I'm ttc as I know it will affect my opportunities. Although I'd love to believe I am still pg/will get pg again quickly, I just can't, and if the head knows I'll possibly be going on maternity at some point in the next year she will treat me differently (I'm witnessing proof of it right now with the teacher who has just announced). She'll probably be waiting for it after February when we're married (both the pg woman and the other on maternity were newly married) but I don't want to give her a heads up we're already trying.

I'm also torn on the time off. The last 5 days have been killing me, endless time with nothing able to sufficiently distract me. However I'm physically weak and in pain at the moment, so going back to work probably isn't an option in a physical sense until I feel stronger. I guess I should just wait for the scan tomorrow and then take advice when I have a definite answer.

I never told my work barking and I'm glad I didn't. My doctors note said 'gynaecological operation' and that's all I said. But I preferred to deal with it at home and with close family and friends- I know others would rather share it more openly.

BelissimaLol Mon 09-Sep-13 18:28:54

Like everyone said you need to see what you think will help you most. If you wanted to tell them you could say it was a happy accident and you won't be trying again until after the wedding. But some people like thunder prefer to be more private. I'm a blabber mouth so talking about it helped me process things in my own head.
First things first though. Lets get through the scan tomorrow. You don't need to decide nowgrin

Bunnygirlie Mon 09-Sep-13 18:32:50

Hey boom how's the view up there in the copter?

yorkie sorry to hear your appt was confusing, I haven't started the whole process yet so no advice here I'm afraid. I guess the question is, can you afford to go private?

kitty hope the ic is wrong!

barking been thinking of you all day. I bet the not knowing is the worst thing, I just don't know what too say honey x

boom sid thanks for anniversary wishes. Had a crappy day but we are off out for a nice meal in a bit, then we might watch a bit of the wedding DVD when we get back smile

Good to see you lol how are you?

funkymonk Mon 09-Sep-13 18:48:42

Barking my mc was very early at 5 + 3. I have an excellent sickness record but took a week off. The bleeding started on a Monday so I went home that lunch time. Even though I wasn't in any pain and it was just like a normal period but with a few tiny clots, I couldnt face trying to be normal in work when I knew that what was coming away from me wasnt 'just a period' but the beginnings of the baby we had so dearly wanted. I sat it out at home until I could have a scan on the Friday to confirm what I already knew.

I decided to tell my colleagues (no risks of it affecting career progression as I'm the only one who does my job and not possible to move up the pay scale in this current post) and have been quite open to my friends as most of them are either pregnant, on mat leave or have toddlers. I wanted them to take a bit of time out from them as being with them made me sad.

From telling people I found out that I actually knew sooo many women that had been through miscarriages and it really helped to speak to them and not feel so alone.

As mine was so early there wasn't really anything to come away and my next period came exactly when it should have. My friend who had a miscarriage at 8 weeks (found out at dating scan) had a period 33 days later which was pretty much normal for her too. The Miscarriage Association website does say that it is thought that women are more fertile after miscarriage as well.

I still have a little cry now and again. My friend is struggling and started counselling just last week and her mmc was in March. I guess everyone copes in their own little way.

It is impossible to not focus on due dates and I think it's normal to start planning things for the future from the moment you get your bfp. I really hope that tomorrow your fears aren't confirmed.

Sorry about the long post...

I wish all you ladies were real life friends grin You're all lovely. xxx

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 18:52:42

boom yep, was clearly broken hmm

yorkie yes you can get ohss but they told me that I didn't respond to the clomid as although it might have produced more follicles i still didn't mature my eggs (my lh and fsh had too many follicles to work on effectively). Hence my reasoning for scanning during a clomid cycle. Having said that, I do also agree with thunder with spending money on ivf but at least monitoring you on clomid will help the fc understand you better, and therefore enable them to provide better ivf ultimately.

barking really hope Thursday comes quick but I'm guessing it won't sad

merk yorkie ivf abroad is cheaper but bare in mind you'd need at least 2 weeks there (scans start day 2 to about day 14) so you'd need to factor in hotel and travel costs. That time doesn't include consultations and if you'd need to down reg. having said that Gail/mike came back preggers from ivf abroad so can't be all bad

PoppySeedBun Mon 09-Sep-13 19:10:51

Hello berries. Popping over from the 'hovering' graduates thread to say hi (not believing that my BFP is real until I see something at 8wk scan...)

barking just thought I would throw in my 2 pennies on MC. I was TTC 2.5 years when I got PG with first round of Clomid in Feb/March. I then had MMC, identified at 9 wks but had stopped at 6. Fortunately, I had a scan v quick after bleeding started, and then next day ERPC, so didn't have to go through more than a few days of bleeding. But I did take two days off work (which got me to the weekend) and then took me a while longer to feel normal. Like thunder I was quite philosophical in a 'this one wasn't meant to work' way, which helped a bit.
I didn't tell work - fortunately they are very flexible so I just said something vague about needing to have a
minor operation. In some ways I think it helped not to have to answer questions when I went back, as that might have sent me over the edge. But I can see that in some ways it would have been helpful to talk about it (and when I mentioned to my boss this time that was PG, but with previous MC, so not telling anyone else yet, he said his wife had had more than one MC too).
After that, we waited for cycle to come back - I think it was about 5-6 weeks - and resumed Clomid. I am now PG again with cycle #4, and hoping this one sticks.
I don't know if any of this is helpful, but firstly, a really large proportion of people get bleeding, even bad ones, and are just fine, so don't lose hope completely (the Miscarriage Association has some stats about bleeding in pregnancy, as well as really excellent articles on how to deal with MC). And if the worst happens tomorrow, give yourself time to grieve properly, and take it seriously, and know that this is sh*tty luck but that there's nothing you could have done differently.
And also know that this proves the Clomid works, and you can get pregnant, which means there's no reason at all to think the wait will be as long for another BFP.
Final note - there are lots of helpful ladies on the PG after MC thread who I'm sure will have advice too.

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 19:14:50

barking just following on from what bellisima said, again, not that you're defo miscarrying but my friend got pg the month after her mc (took about 2 years to get pg initially).

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 19:19:14

bell how come you got the boot lol? were you one of the ones who were chatting about prams haha?

BelissimaLol Mon 09-Sep-13 19:40:50

No I wasn't chatting about prams but we all got booted at once and I was pg by then so got the message grin
I'm fine, my little girl was born on 27th July and my life as I knew it is now over. But I won't talk about it or ill get booted again gringrin
I'm really hoping for good news here soon. I'm a sucker for a sop story!

haycorn Mon 09-Sep-13 19:41:57

I'm really sorry that everything is so hard for you right now barking. There is nothing I can add to all the advice and support you've been given, I just hope that whatever comes tomorrow, you are able to come and talk to us about it, even if it is difficult to share with people in RL.

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 20:01:49

bel haha I really don't care if you do talk about pushchairs but can't vouch for everyone! Nice to see a berry success story!

Thank you funky and Poppy for sharing. It helps to hear other's experiences. Poppy did you contact the fc or just continue with the clomid you already had? I realise bleeding is common, and I had remained positive for the first two or three days, but then the lack of heartbeat on the last scan, the heavier bleeding, the bad cramps and the amount of red blood and clots and other matter and the googling have pretty much destroyed the hope I had left.

Thunder I'd rather be open with a limited number of people so that pg friends and those with babies/small children would know I'm finding it difficult to be around them rather than think me rude/ignorant, but I need to check with DP first as I don't want to share without checking it's ok with him. Also, there's a side of me that doesn't want to share as I don't want people speculating about whether that's why we got engaged (even though we didn't know at that point).

Thanks Haycorn, I think you can expect me to be filling up the thread again tomorrow sorry berries, this is currently my 'safe place' smile.

I'm going to try and stop thinking about it now ha ha so I'll drag myself off mn and come back to update after the scan tomorrow. DP doesn't know I'm on here though so I'll have to be discreet!

Hi all,

Sorry blind I didn't acknowledge your pimp earlier. Arse with the bfn but its not over yet. Will this new jabbing routine affect your cycle length or anything?

barking I was totally the same with telling close friends, especially the ones with babies. You'll know who you want to tell and who not- I think that will feel pretty natural when the time comes.

Everyone else ok? Need duvet and chocolate tonight?

BlindKitty Mon 09-Sep-13 22:13:59

thunder well in theory I should come on on wed, making it a 28 day cycle so obviously shorter than the 33-39 days I'm used to so less time until round 2. Although the nurse did say the meds may delay af (which will obviously make me go out of my mind with anxiety, I should pre-warn you!)

Bunnygirlie Mon 09-Sep-13 22:35:49

To clarify nobody was ever booted! A few of us mentioned that chatting about prams for their babies when we were struggling to even get pg was a little insensitive, some appeared to get the hump and set up their own thread. 

barking hope that the advice people are giving is helpful, lovely to hear such helpful caring berry stories x

Hmm that's confusing blind. So there's the theory that it'll be shorter but also the risk it'll be delayed. Hmmm

funkymonk Mon 09-Sep-13 22:40:56

Pimp again in the morning kitty?

Cavort Mon 09-Sep-13 23:53:46

I never felt booted grin but it was definitely time to move our pram-talking asses to antenatal and leave you lovely TTC ladies to it. grin grin

We are doing it again now by dragging our feet in moving to postnatal but it's hard to leave when you like everyone you're leaving behind.

BelissimaLol Tue 10-Sep-13 04:11:53

I meant booted in a nice friendly way by the way. And yes we are doing it again grin.
Maybe that's why the newly pg ladies are scared to join us! We're too much about babies and not enough about pregnancy. Shame on us!
Anyway enough about us. Lets hope for good news for barking tomorrow huh?

rumisyum Tue 10-Sep-13 06:16:07

Morning!

Best of luck for your scan today, barking. There's been so much wisdom from the other ladies already, I've got nothing to add, but I'm thinking of you.

Boom the courgette cake recipe is here. (Ignore her hideous picture of it!) It's from How to be a Domestic Goddess if you've got that, and it's delicious!

Kitty, rubbish about the bfn. When is AF due?

Yorkie, ugh, sorry about all the confusion! Sounds like you've worked out a good plan for yourself, though. And your FSH came down a bit, so whatever you tried must have been helpful? Or at least not a hindrance!

Hope everyone has a better day today. brew and cake all round.

Popping in to say thinking of you this morning barking, whatever the outcome we are all here for you xxx

Thanks rum.
I'm terrified. Had just about calmed myself down ready to sleep last night when DP said 'oh no, don't look at fb' which is a stupid thing to say Our mates just had their twins. Just as I was almost coping. It broke me, that and the crying of the newborn baby next door sad . I just sobbed, and sobbed.
I think I'm going to need fb cold turkey for a while sad .
I'm going to need berry power to pull me through this morning. Really not looking forward to the waiting room of pg woman.

x-post Boom, thank you.

Thinking of you too Barking. I am hoping against hope its not bad news for you, but if it is the berries will be waiting with all the support in the world x

happylass Tue 10-Sep-13 07:21:29

Barking just to echo what everyone else has said - thinking of you today and sending lots of love x

PoppySeedBun Tue 10-Sep-13 07:30:47

barking fx for you - hoping for good news.

When I MCed, I just wanted to shut out the world and not deal with anyone - even on FB - for a few days, so make sure you do that if that's what is needed.
Re: Clomid, yes, I carried on as I already had a prescription for 6 months worth. I did let the FC know, as I had let them know I was PG, and they want to know for their records.

yorkiebilb Tue 10-Sep-13 07:36:47

Thinking of you barking

Another hand to hold here barking, thinking of you thanks

Bunnygirlie Tue 10-Sep-13 08:08:23

Not a good start to the day here, pink when I wiped sad i came out of bathroom and DH tried to be sweet and said Happy Anniversary + 1 and I blurted out its not very happy and burst into tears sad sad
I knew it was coming, I always do, so why am I always so upset, it's no surprise!?!

Now I feel bad having a woe is me moan when barking is going through hell, hugs for today lady x

Oh bunny sad
Are you sure it's the start of af?

SidneyBristow Tue 10-Sep-13 08:36:16

barking thinking of you thanks

Bunnygirlie Tue 10-Sep-13 08:46:26

I think so thunder I tend to get a bit of spotting a few days before the witch arrives proper!

Oh arse bunny its just not fair sad

So when is your appointment? You do have one don't you?

Still waiting for the scan.....

Barking I would be screaming at people by now so I hope am sure you are much calmer than I would be. Can you use the time to annoy the pregnant ladies (who will all have full bladders) by pouring yourself lots of glasses of water and making sure the running water sound is very loud as you do so? (Potentially inappropriate to attempt to make you smile at this point). Hugs (())

It was the worst news sad . Didn't seem to help that I was expecting it.

happylass Tue 10-Sep-13 10:36:56

Oh Barking I'm so, so sorry. Between lessons but didnt want to read and run. Is your DP there with you for the day? Take the time you need to grieve and take care of yourself. As always we are here when you need us flowers xxx

Barking I'm so sorry, expecting it doesn't cushion the blow at all when you finally get that news. Take some time for yourself, cry as much as you need to, make sure DP is there and support each other. It's horrible, today is the worst and the next few weeks will be tough, but I promise it does get better eventually. Completely understand if you want to take yourself away from MN for a while, but equally we're here for you if you need us xxx

I'm so sorry lovely. What a horrible time for you. There aren't really any words that will help. I hope DH is wrapping you up in cotton wool and going through this with you xxx

SidneyBristow Tue 10-Sep-13 10:55:24

Oh barking, I am just so sorry. It's one thing to expect it but another to have it confirmed. Please take care of yourself. You and your DH have suffered a loss and it will take a while to get your equilibrium back. Sending lots of warm thoughts your way, take as much time as you need, we are here for you if you need to talk about it, or about anything else if you'd rather thanks

yorkiebilb Tue 10-Sep-13 10:58:38

I'm so so very sorry barking Huge hugs to you both. About to meet my boss but I'll write a longer message later. Take care.

funkymonk Tue 10-Sep-13 11:03:39

So so sorry barking. Even though you expected the worst its difficult to not cling on to the hope that all is ok. Cuddle up on the sofa all day with dp if you can. A hard time for you both. Thinking of you xxx

barking I'm so sorry too. Sending you a massive hug, it is so hard. You may not be able to see it now but there are bright things ahead for you. In the meantime this is your time to be exceptionally kind to yourself and take it all very steady. flowers

MotherOfCleo Tue 10-Sep-13 11:08:06

Sending lots of hugs your way barking. I hope you are getting lots of support on what must be the worst of days. Take time to rest and recuperate. thanks thanks

I know this is the last thing you want to hear as you wanted 'this baby' at 'this time', but it does prove that everything works and you and your OH can make a baby, at least try to take a little comfort from that. You will get their.

Just shut yourself away from the world today and concentrate on getting yourself better. Happy to provide brew biscuit wine cake or just a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on.

Gillster Tue 10-Sep-13 11:19:51

So sorry Barking, thinking of you. I can't add anything to the lovely comments and advice given by the berries. Take care of yourself. X

Cavort Tue 10-Sep-13 11:35:04

So sorry to see your sad news Barking. It seems there are some wise Berries who have been through this who I hope you can lean on for support along with your OH xxx

katatonic Tue 10-Sep-13 11:46:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppySeedBun Tue 10-Sep-13 11:48:25

barking I'm so sorry - not the news you wanted, however much you were expecting it.
As others have said, MN is here for you if you need it, but take yourself away if you prefer.
When you're ready, there is lots of very sane and helpful advice here too:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
Hugs and flowers

BlindKitty Tue 10-Sep-13 12:15:12

barking I'm so so sorry sad. Was really hoping everything would turn out ok. Thinking of you loads xxxxx

rumisyum Tue 10-Sep-13 12:17:15

I'm so sorry, barking. Expecting horrible news doesn't make it any less horrible when it comes. I hope you and your DP can look after each other today.

Thank you all. Just managed to snap at mum on the phone who was trying to say the right things but failed miserably sad.
DP has bought me lots of fruit and chocolate and is going to feed me lunch then go back to work for the afternoon. He's hurting lots and needs to keep busy. I'm in no fit state to leave the house yet as I keep bursting into tears, but as you've all said, surely this has to be the worst day. I know all the bumps and babies are going to be 100 x more upsetting at the moment, but nothing can come close to the woman turning the scan screen round and just saying 'I'm sorry'. I've hit rock bottom, it's all up from here, right?
DP and I are in agreement that we don't want to keep it a secret, so we're going to tell the people who would be likely to notice there was something up. I've just spoken to the deputy at work and asked her to tell everyone what is happening. If I end up running out of the classroom in tears, people need to know why..... With colleague's bump growing daily, I can't imagine it's going to be easy sad.

kitty you have a pm.

Nothing really to add Barking, just so sorry to hear your news.

Bunnygirlie Tue 10-Sep-13 12:42:38

Oh barking honey, I have been thinking about you all morning and just had to slyly log on at work to see how it went, I am so so sorry it is the news we were all dreading for you.
Take it easy this week, you and DP look after each other, things will get better eventually, hugs xxx

Snowlily Tue 10-Sep-13 13:07:04

so sorry barking you're in all our thoughts today xx

Oh barking, having to deal with the staff's sympathy reactions is just awful. I will remember that myself from the time and j just wanted to run away and not have to look at anyone.

You have done the hardest bit now, I promise it is up from here. Of course it won't feel like it straight away but you will start to heal from now. Just don't rush it. And good idea- share with everyone you need to share with. There's nothing else to say other than miscarriage is so shitty and utterly unfair. You are not alone and anything you feel is fine and natural so don't fight anything. Just go with it and look after yourself and each other.

PoppySeedBun Tue 10-Sep-13 14:27:55

barking yes, that is the worst part - that exact same moment with the scan is the bit I still remember most vividly, and is still the most upsetting. It's up from there, or at least it was for me.
We had some falling out with family as well - people can be so clumsy with their words, and don't know what to say. But they will get over it, and will hopefully realise in time what it all means, when you're better able to talk about it. But good idea to get a few people to tell others, so you don't have to have that conversation individually with everyone now.
+1 to keeping busy - it seemed to help my DH a lot to do some 'normal' things with his friends, and although I didn't feel like doing anything, my parents came to visit soon after and took me out for the day, which was a really good distraction.
<hugs> for you and do whatever makes you comfortable today. flowers

I've spent all afternoon 'talking' by email to someone I know fairly well but see rarely as she lives a long way away. She's been great and I'm feeling a little calmer now.

I'm officially off facebook but I would like to hang around here and rant intermittently if no-one minds too much? I don't want to make the thread all doom and gloom, and I'll be back with some pretty lighting for the yellow brick road come end of October-ish when we should be able to start trying again. I've been reading through the miscarriage threads but I think trying to join one would make me wallow too much so I'd rather stay with the berries, especially as so many of you have already been where I am anyway and have been absolutely amazing.

What we need now is some good news to cheer us all up and make us only a tiny bit [jealous] as a berry bfp is always something to celebrate grin.

Anyway, there's a spare seat for someone in the 'copter that I've left a lovely comfy cushion on and ev'ryfin.

BelissimaLol Tue 10-Sep-13 15:50:37

Oh bark I've had shivers down my spine reading your post. I too had the "I'm sorry" scan and I will never forget it. But this is absolutely the hardest part and hopefully the bleeding will cease soon.
Look after yourself and hang around us grin

Bunnygirlie Tue 10-Sep-13 17:59:34

Yes barking hang around with us, come sit under the warm and comfy duvet with me x

thunder I didn't answer your question earlier, yes FC appt is a week today!!!

How are peeps today?

RevoltingPeasant Tue 10-Sep-13 18:15:11

Barking, I tried to post earlier it for some reason my work computer wouldn't let me hmm

I am so very sorry. I have no experience MC but thinking about grief more generally, I think you can bet it's not going to be smoothly uphill from here. It'll grab you unawares, but as long as you are prepared for that and let yourself grieve you will get there.

Also, you might want to not think about this now or put it aside for a few weeks, but one important thing is that now you know you can get pregnant. Your body can do that. You are not now facing the special bitterness of never. Not now, but not never. It is not impossible that you will have a bump on your wedding day.

Regardless, take care of yourself and don't think too far ahead, just getting through is important now. flowers

BlindKitty Tue 10-Sep-13 18:20:20

Well barking has threatened to out me anyway so for those of you that don't know my iui actually worked! After 2 1/4 years, countless years and bfns I finally have my bfp!!! Keep thinking I will wake up in a minute!

BlindKitty Tue 10-Sep-13 18:20:40

*tears

Hooray Kitty, been waiting for you to own up all day! MN official congratulations!! grin