Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs! TTC after MC

(1000 Posts)
alyant79 Thu 22-Aug-13 09:02:40

Come one, come all and join our rollicking new thread with slightly updated brand new rules

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative <<refuses to admit that's what I'll do>>
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

katatonic Thu 22-Aug-13 09:10:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alyant79 Thu 22-Aug-13 09:11:22

damnit i forgot to put TTC after MC in the thread title. blush Hope newbies find us.
Anyone know how i can edit it?

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 09:19:18

alyant you can report the thread and ask the admin to change it.

Sundance2007 Thu 22-Aug-13 09:36:51

Woop, brilliant new thread aly - though reading it makes me want to go have a pee on a twig in the woods now, hope I can suppress that urge!! Eek.

As you've posted the link - I'm sure people will find us alright

Hoping this is the one where everyone gets pg before we reach 999 comments - good luck girlies.

ArkadyRose Thu 22-Aug-13 09:44:30

Yay, shiny new thread! Congrats to all the BFPs - and here's hoping we have more tomorrow!

I just want to say thank you to everyone who was so supportive over my hellish job and thank you for the congrats on quitting it. I feel so much happier already, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And I've been tipped off to a couple of positions at a publisher that would be just perfect for me - one is writer/editor, the other is children's book designer.writer/illustrator, so I'll be busy over the next few days working on new things for my portfolio. But mostly I'm just enjoying this huge sense of FREEDOM!!

And AF has nearly stopped already, so I think we'll be launching into DTD from this weekend. Going for every couple of days right the way through until 14DPO I think. I really think that this is going to be the cycle - especially now all that job stress is gone! I'm brimful of posifrickentivity! grin

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 22-Aug-13 11:25:05

Just marking my place on the shiny new thread. Fingers crossed for sundance and penguinita and I shall see you all in a week smile

<<rushes off to pack>>

fod27 Thu 22-Aug-13 13:00:10

Ark all you need now is some Braveheart make up ;)

ArkadyRose Thu 22-Aug-13 13:21:12

Fod Argh, nooooo, don't mention that terrible travesty of history to me! I grew up with Scottish history being drummed into me from infancy thanks to a Scots dad and a mum who was mad keen on Scots history & folk music.

That said, the Celtic tribes in England such as the Iceni and Catavellauni around Roman Verulamium (site of modern day St Albans in Hertfordshire, where I grew up) were far more likely to wear woad than 13th-14th Century Scotsmen. Closest I get to warpaint though is dyeing my hair and going a little outre on my make-up for a goth nightclub. wink

SeasideLily Thu 22-Aug-13 13:29:56

Wow Ark check you out just flinging those very specific and historically accurate Scots references into the mix! Lived in Edinburgh for 8 years now, and getting over-excited with the eyeliner is the closest I get too. Those jobs sounds really lovely, best of luck with them and well done for quitting, sounds like a fantastic decision.

Thanks for the new thread Aly - SO hope we're all up the duff before the end of this one! Almost halfway through the dismal 2ww - af due the day we head off on my birthday weekend, so either we'll have an amazing--ly terrifying-- weekend or I'll have wine to console me. Though I have seriously been letting the no-drinking rule slip recently...I blame the Edinburgh Festival!

Sundance2007 Thu 22-Aug-13 13:38:07

seaside - I was at the Edinburgh fest 3 weeks ago and much more to drink than I should have, also had about 4 glasses of prosecco the other day which I shouldn't have done but was convinced I was getting af pains so took that as a green light. I figure that so many people must have loads of booze at the start of pg when they don't know they are, as long as you stop when you see the two pink lines.

It's soooo difficult not to get my hopes up, I worked out that if I do get the thumbs up tmrw, my edd would be 1st May, which is my dads birthday!

ark - you seem so much more lifted already, so pleased for you. I became a full time writer just over a year ago, I work from home now and love it (when I'm not procrastinating or walking the dog). I'm certain that leaving my shit job helped me with ttc last time too. Fx for you

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 22-Aug-13 13:55:21

ooh. A new thread to lurk on...

alyant79 Thu 22-Aug-13 14:29:46

Just had my day 21 bloods taken. She only had to stab me twice which isn't too bad considering my crappy veins.
What a lovely way to spend what was my EDD sad.

ark those jobs do sound lovely, esp the illustrator one.

on the topic of not drinking: i've just discovered that my favourite ever belgian fruit beer - Pecheresse - is only 2.5%. That's practically alcohol free!

am tempted to POAS tomorrow... but as i'll only be 8DPO i will restrain myself in the interests of my pledge. Which means no POAS before next friday, by which point AF will be well and truly late (positivity!!). Going camping over the weekend so, a la sundance, i'll have to find a twig to pee on to get my fix.

cosmickitten Thu 22-Aug-13 15:27:14

Ark- sounds so positive :-)

Aly - glad the blood test went smoothly, sorry its just a rotten way to spend EDD, hugs.

I've just made a GP's appiontment. It has dawned on me that the current situtation sucks. Currently I've been told to wait a year before any fertility treatment can start by my GP (we were due to start days before bfp after trying for 14 months and blood tests showed very low progestrone). I aslo know from my fertility clinic, that waiting a year makes me 34 and too old for IVF in my PCT. So basically we're stuffed and it just sucks.

It turns out the fertility clinic is happy to see me asap but my GP wants me to wait the year. I'm not daft I know that one natural pregnancy is a good sign and that fertility treatment is a last resort.

But I refuse to put myself through a another year's TTC without having my progrestrone levels and the scar tissue they found in the spring looked at properly. I do not have it in me to spend 2 1/2 years waiting and seeing (wondering if there is an underlying issue that has been missed). So I'm going to fight to get some answers!!!!

fedupofrainydays Thu 22-Aug-13 15:45:23

Just marking my place! Thanks for new thread aly.

I too am POAS tomorrow. Nervous nervous.

alyant79 Thu 22-Aug-13 16:01:10

cosmic i've heard others say that their GP wants to make them wait another year after a mc. Like it resets the clock. That's just outrageous. Good on you for fighting. You need to find a nice sympathetic doc like sal's.

OLTT thanks for the tip, they fixed it for me. now all the newbies can find us without a problem.

Good luck for POAS tomorrow fedup, penguin and sundance

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 16:25:59

cosmic can I ask why you need your GP when you already are registered with a fertility clinic? Is that an NHS fertility clinic so you have to go through the GP for it?

alyant is your blood thing also via the NHS?

I'm asking because I'm seriously thinking going to the GP if I don't get a BFP 6 months after my last MC. I don't know what they can offer though. I guess I just go and ask if they can check if they broken something in me from the operation? My 3 pregnancies all occurred within 3 months (2 were MCs), so I am seriously thinking now that something has gone wrong.

I'm already 38 so I've already given up on IVF. I'm just thinking maybe there's something else they could do. I've got the number for a private clinic in the area too. But I think I need to go to the GP first?

triplespin Thu 22-Aug-13 16:55:39

thanks for the new thread aly - I'm just marking my place too.

Not much to report here on the temperatures. Still staying low and no AF in sight.

I did visit an acupuncturist few days ago and was told that given no historical issues with my cycle (prior to mc), it was really up to me if I want to waste my money on acupuncture ! So I have decided to wait and see how this cycle 1 pans out as I am already at 30 days and counting. If it lasts longer than 40 - then I may have to go back !

cosmickitten Thu 22-Aug-13 16:56:48

Olt my first appiontment ( pre- pregnancy) was via Nhs. It simply got deleted from the system when I got bfp. It took 5 months to get the appiontment after day 21 tests came back with bad news.

Before ivf there are tests that can be done and medication to help with ovulation. I have regular periods and on the face if it all looks good. But 21 day test showed my progesterone was about a 10th of normal levels. I rarely have signs of ovulation (from temping and poas). Of course i ovulated in April when I fell pregnant. But assuming I will most most months for the next year seems daft to me. Also tests show I have low ovarian reserve (despite only being 32 when tested) so waiting until I'm over 34 seems scary.

Personally I find the nhs grindingly slow and if private was an option id take it. I so want to speak to someone who actually knows about these things instead my gp who reads off the computer screen. For now though some blood tests between now Xmas to check hormone levels would be brilliant!

Your gp should offer tests for hormone levels after 12 months but some will test as soon as 6 months. Not that 6 months feels soon when ttc.

Sal1977 Thu 22-Aug-13 17:01:23

Peeing on an actual stick?? Nice. I had to poo in my garden once. I had a house viewing at 5pm and suddenly 10 minutes before really need a poo. I didn't want the uncertainty of it being a stinker so trotted up behind the bushes at the end of the garden and pooped there. Liberating!

Can't believe I told you lot that.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 17:09:25

cosmic the post is very helpful. I assume the 5 months wait after bloods is to the fertility clinic?

It sounds good they can test my hormone levels and ovarian reserve. I will have to go private as I think the NHS would be too slow for me. I really don't have time to wait 1 year, and then another 5 months for an appointment. sad. But I guess it all depends on how much private costs. Lets hope I get a BFP in the next two months.

alyant79 Thu 22-Aug-13 17:11:51

oh my god sal i just burst out laughing in the middle of my work and got some very strange looks.
i've pooed al fresco when camping but never in my backyard!

yes OLTT blood test was via NHS. Since it's now been 6 months since mc with nothing to show for it, having previously got pg first try twice before, I took myself along to doc. She said that i shouldn't be worried (statistically since i had such good luck i'm now due some bad luck) but i think she felt sorry for me since i cried and so decided to schedule a test. Also the fact that my cycles are a bit short perhaps helped? dunno. I really think it was the crying!

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 17:14:41

I meant to say I totally get why you think waiting for 34 is too long if you already have low reserve.

alyant I think they reset the clock on MC because if you have no problem getting pregnant, but have recurrent MC it is a different problem entirely. I didn't think I have fertility problems until now sad. I thought my eggs might just be a bit old and so I got two consecutive MCs. I got my first BFP after 3 months, MC at 6 weeks, then a BFP in cycle 0, followed by a week 12 MC. That's how I got to nearly 1 yr TTC now after another 4 months of trying. It is far too long..

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 17:16:49

alyant thanks for sharing. I might need to work on the tears grin. I think we are in a very similar situation then. I really do feel atm the last MC has broken my fertility, in some way sad

fod27 Thu 22-Aug-13 17:34:37

Ark I consider myself very specifically told hahaa

fedupofrainydays Thu 22-Aug-13 18:04:48

sal ha ha ha! Amazing!!

Penguinita Thu 22-Aug-13 18:13:16

Big brownie points aly for starting the new thread!

Bumping the Project Desperate list so we can all follow it.

Project Desperate
meets acupuncture
meets chinese medicine
meets chinese massage
meets reflexology
meets fertility nutritionist
meets fertility hypnotherapist
meets grapefruit
meets evening primrose
meets pineapple core
Meets vitamin B6
meets Agnus Castus
meets 'the syringe method'
meets Preesees/conceive plus
meets legs in the air after DTD
meets temping
meets pigeon poo...

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 18:21:04

Meets poo in a bush grin

Penguinita Thu 22-Aug-13 18:23:19

Omg sal, you are hilarious! Although at first i read it wrong and thought you were viewing someone else's house and pooed in their garden! grin

Good luck to my fellow POAS ers tomorrow sundance and fedup (and triple?). I'm super nervous. Trying to convince myself it is a bfn so I'm not too disappointed when the inevitable single line appears.

I don't think I like this new 14 dpo rule though! If Friday falls 13 dpo there is no way I could wait another seven days. So it is just inviting fish slaps. I'm taking that as an optional rule smile

fedupofrainydays Thu 22-Aug-13 18:29:47

I too cried on my gp (female) and I was granted a scan and a blood test too. Had my blood test on Monday so don't know the outcome yet. Scan was non conclusive and have to go back day 5-8 of next cycle. Think gp felt sorry for me but also said I had been ttc since nov and no luck apart from mmc in feb. think she felt sorry for me.

aly sorry to hear bloods were on your EDD, mine is creeping up on me too (early sept) but oddly think once its passed it will lift some pressure I put on myself to be up duffed by then...

fedupofrainydays Thu 22-Aug-13 18:32:30

Hasn't seen the new rule.... Nooooooo! I'm only 12 dpo tomorrow!! I'm not waiting another week, no no no! <toddler tantrum alert> Plus am going away for boozy weekend so kind of need to know and worth some fish slaps right?!

Penguinita Thu 22-Aug-13 18:37:53

If it hasn't got a number in front of it, I don't think it counts as a rule wink

Daisychain44 Thu 22-Aug-13 18:43:09

Hi all, marking my place on the thread, tomorrow's only 7 dpo so no point testing till next week. So slow, so annoying, never needed a boozy weekend more!! The irony!

Just found out a good friend of mine mc at 12 wks today - so so sad for her :-( is it weird I'm glad at my reaction as it makes up for feeling annoyed when other friends keep announcing their pregnancies to me?!

Cosmic - I agree the nhs is just too too slow. They just aren't interested - I'm constantly fobbed off with " you realise it can take 2 years?" When I launched into my "luteal phase / progesterone" chat - he reached for the bookshelf to refresh his memory! Not sure how many months to give it before sucking it up and finding the cash to go for private tests? Just keep telling myself "next month all this worry will become academic"

Hoping for some bfp's on here tomorrow - feel we're in a queue and you guys are all first!

katatonic Thu 22-Aug-13 18:50:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofrainydays Thu 22-Aug-13 18:53:24


cosmickitten Thu 22-Aug-13 19:03:47

Olt ovarian reserve was done at clinic i dont tjink gos can arrange that. Everything else was via gp and 5 month wait was for first consultant appiontment after bad results. I feel like time is running out for waiting another year.

alyant79 Thu 22-Aug-13 19:41:42

Fedup I think under extreme circumstances the 14dpo rule/pledge can be broken wink. For example, my af usually turns up around 11dpo so if on Friday I was 12dpo then I'd be perfectly within my rights to poas...
Your excuse is pretty good too - although I'd like to point out that if you waited til next week and af didn't arrive you'd be looking pretty solid for a bfp

triplespin Thu 22-Aug-13 20:03:57

cosmic I totally agree on GPs not knowing anything. Have you been given any treatment for the low progesterone levels? Shouldn't this be taken more seriously by your gp and you should be getting the appropriate referrals?
oltt aly I feel in the same boat as you. Conceived in first and second cycle last two times and now it's only been 2 months so far but I do think the mc has messed things up.

penguin yes will be poas tomorrow even though it will be a wasted stick (thankfully an Internet cheapie) as my cycle (according to the temps) is all over the place at the moment.

Penguinita Thu 22-Aug-13 20:13:41

Don't lose hope yet triple. On the cycle I got pg last time, my temperatures went loopy and I thought my thermometer had broken. I knew I wasn't pg last cycle because my temps were very well behaved. Fx for you!

Hi Everybody...

Not been on for a few days as been having a very busy/hectic time in real life. Not had chance to read through everything, but crossing everything for those who have possible BFP'S and those still waiting. Thanks aly for new thread...maybe you will catch some luck this time around?!

Totally agree with the 'broken fertility' oltt, I have been ttc for 14 months almost now, and rather than 'nothing to show for it' I have one miscarriage, 1 ectopic and one less tube! When I truly think about what I have been through I could literally cry all day long. I manage to keep myself together most days (although I am utterly miserable inside) I don't know how I keep plodding on each month.

I was really really hoping I might have gotten lucky this month as I thought I was getting Ov pains on my left side...where I still have a tube. Although I am not due AF for a few days I already know I'm not pregnant. yes, yes, I know, it's not over untill AF arrives, but I KNOW!! Possibly a combination from POAS early as usual and also obsessive opk'ing and lack of any symptoms. I just feel so pissed off this month. My best friend's due date is 4 weeks away and my other close friend who was also struggling to ttc is having her 13 week scan tomorrow. I smile - and don't get me wrong, I genuinely am thrilled for them, but at the same time it is like a knife through my heart.

According to my charts etc I am around 9dpo, but I'm really not sure. I think we stopped dtd too early (last day of peak) and we really should have done a couple more romps - we haven't had sex since. My temps are also all over the place, feel like giving up on temping too.

Does anyone else ever just think what is the point anymore, why do I go through the same ritual every month, the stress & pressure for absolutely nothing?! But I cannot stop. I need to get pregnant. It has to happen soon...please, please, please! I don't know what else to try. Seriously thinking of booking in for some reflexology, can anyone recommend/share experiences?

I might POAS tomorrow, although there is not much point. I think I will be about 4 days before AF. It's my first wedding anniversary on Sunday was really hoping for a BFP this weekend sad

Gosh, that was long. Sorry. Ranting feels good sometimes, DH is sick of it!


P.s... Sal Thanks for making me smile with your poo-in-the-garden tale. grin x

Oops, just realised POAS Friday is forbidden before 14dpo! I will not be POAS untill then. I will try very very hard blush

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 20:58:13

overanxious Does anyone else ever just think what is the point anymore, why do I go through the same ritual every month, the stress & pressure for absolutely nothing?! But I cannot stop. I need to get pregnant.

That's me sadly.

Bezza2508 Thu 22-Aug-13 20:59:13

Oooh a new thread.

Good luck to all those testing tomorrow. I have everything crossed for some BFPs.

Can I just ask who has a clear blue fertility monitor and what they think of it? I'm thinking of getting one as it took us 8 months to conceive last time and I'd really like to try and speed the process up this time.

OLLT - sad It is like a vicious circle, over and over with no way out. It is totally ruining my sex life. We do it like unenthusiastic rabbits for a week of the month, and then if it's not 'fertile' time I'm just not interested because I've had enough of it! I'm so sick of everything, thinking about cycle days, ovulation tests etc but I just can't stop. Everyone says just stop thinking about it etc but I CAN'T. angry

Bezza - I have a CBFM. I quite like it, I like the clarity of peak days etc. I used it once and got pg first time, however unfortunately ended in an ectopic pregnancy. I'm just using it for the second time, and have finished my first box of sticks. Would like to buy another box of sticks to use it again next month but at £25 a box I'm not sure it's an expense I can keep up...


OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 22-Aug-13 21:31:34

Bezza I have the CBFM and I like it. But I'm comparing it with the internet cheapie OPKs where I never got any positives. Also readings from the CBFM confirms my BBT. However I still haven't got a BFP, so I might not be the best person to recommend it sad.

Overanxious it's £19.38 a box at amazon if you sign up for regular delivery. (I'm fairly sure I paid £18 last time, but prices might have gone up).

Ahh okay thanks, I will have a look. I will most likely end up buying another box!

katatonic Thu 22-Aug-13 21:39:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NerdyBird Thu 22-Aug-13 21:43:28

Wow, a new thread already!

Tonight I made an appointment for acupuncture, I mentioned fertility to the lady but I think it will be good for me anyway as things have been a bit hectic for me recently.

seaside lily your DH sounds a bit like my boyfriend. I'd told him it was the fertile window but he didn't seem that bothered. I made him do it on tuesday but I could tell his heart wasn't in which upset me.
We did talk about it, and he says he doesn't like having to do it on demand and prefers things to be more spontaneous. Which is all very well but you don't necessarily get a baby that way!

I think part of the problem is that he's used to it happening easily. His ex got pregnant at the drop of a hat it seems, so I guess he doesn't really understand my need to make it happen. Especially after MC.

But I am a bit more reassured that he still wants a baby, I'd begun to wonder if he'd changed his mind! And last night we DTD with more enthusiasm.

Not quite sure if I really am getting positive OPKs, looked it tues, but less so yesterday. Not had a chance to test today. Boobs have been a bit sore, which I think I may have had when I got pregnant before.

Good luck to everyone who is POAS tomorrow!

triplespin Thu 22-Aug-13 21:44:30

overanxious I can totally relate to what you are saying. I think about it every single second, if its not the figuring out ov dates then its the symptom spotting or just aimless reading or poring over other's charts on FF. In short it's become like an obsession but one which I rely cannot control the outcome of.

I don't know much about reflexology. Was thinking of acu instead which I have read good things about on mumsnet.

Bezza2508 Thu 22-Aug-13 22:09:07

overanxious it sounds as though you have been through so much. I've never had reflexology but I have acupuncture and I like it. I find it relaxes me, if nothing else. Worth a try!

fedupofrainydays Thu 22-Aug-13 22:28:23

over you sound just like me. I want to turn it off, forget about ttc, get back to having sex because I want to and feel like it, stop counting dates, stop using preseed, stop POAS, etc etc. I hate it. Completely taken over my life.

triplespin Fri 23-Aug-13 07:07:36

Bfn for me as expected. However had a big dip in my temp this morning, so hoping AF is on its way, so I can get on with things!

Good luck to the rest!

fedupofrainydays Fri 23-Aug-13 07:15:23

Bfn here too. sad

Sundance2007 Fri 23-Aug-13 07:30:19

Just been staring at the stick for the last 20 mins.... BFP.

Crikey. It's my mums 60th today, wondering whether to tell her or if it might just make her panic about another mc?

Penguinita Fri 23-Aug-13 07:31:56

And another bfn makes three. I also had a temp dip so I expect AF will turn up on my wedding anniversary. Great.

Arse bugger bollocks. I really thought this was going to be our month! sad

Come on sundance, you are our last hope!

Penguinita Fri 23-Aug-13 07:32:42

Ooh cross post, brilliant, congrats sundance!

Sal1977 Fri 23-Aug-13 08:15:25

Yay! Whoop whoop Sundance!

Booo hiiissss fuckity bollocks fedup triple penguin!!

fedupofrainydays Fri 23-Aug-13 08:29:45

Yay sundance

Think we all knew yours would be bfp today even when you didn't wink

Sundance2007 Fri 23-Aug-13 08:33:32

Oh bugger, so sorry penguin, fedup & triple. Really had my fx for all of you.

If its worth anything at all, I'd say we eased off a bit this last couple of months, I ov'd on the 7th, and DTD from 4th-8th only. I just took those pregnacare conception vitamins and that seemed to be enough this time. I also got really pissed twice, so I'm advocating the more 'relaxed' effort.

Not out of the woods by any means yet. Had my 21 day bloods taken which I still need to get the results of, if it shows low progesterone I could be in trouble. I really had to go in and cry on the doctor to push for those.
Wishing for some more bfp's today...and I have a very strong feeling about this thread, it's going to be a lucky month. Xxx

katatonic Fri 23-Aug-13 08:34:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alyant79 Fri 23-Aug-13 08:36:16


And a big fat resounding BOO for the other bfns. I was sooo sure that someone else was going to get a bfp. gah, it's such a fucker. angry

over, fedup and triple you are describing me almost perfectly too. Recently i've been getting slightly better though - instead of thinking about it 24 hrs a day, sometimes I have even a whole half day where it doesn't cross my mind at all! Right now i'm in the second half of the 2ww so i'm at my worst obsessive state. I hate the rollercoaster - right now i'm feeling cautiously optimistic because my temp this morning was the highest that it's ever been, and has been very erratic (a good sign i think?), but I know that by this afternoon i'll have crashed back the other way like i did yesterday, and be convinced that it's never going to happen. Talk about unstable.

fod27 Fri 23-Aug-13 08:40:53

subdance that's fab!!!! Gutted for the BFNs tho ;(

Daisychain44 Fri 23-Aug-13 08:44:13

Yay, congrats sun dance!!!!
Another BFP! We'll all get them in time ( positive thinking).
Having said that, not sure this is going to be my month - 7dpo and no symptoms, not one grrrr...

cosmickitten Fri 23-Aug-13 09:00:32

Sundance that is fab- really really happy for you. Don't worry about 21 day test, if something does show up they can do things to protect this pregnancy.

penguin fedup & triple I'm really sorry bfn are heartbreaking, hopefully this one will be the last one for you all.

I saw my GP today and despite trying not to, I cried. Starting to wish I'd cried sooner. So now I don't have to wait 12 months. THIS month and next 2 cycles I will have a 21 day progrestrone test. If these still show low levels the GP will re-refer me to fertility clinic for clomid!!!!!! If they are all ok I will know waiting isn't piontless...........I feel so much better........

triplespin Fri 23-Aug-13 09:13:29

sundance congratulations - we finally have a confirmation !! I am sure it will be a lovely birthday surprise for your mum ! Good to know though that you only dtd around the possible ov dates. I don't think we can physically keep up every other day from the time AF disappears. Also find it hard with DC - as the only time we can do it is after he is asleep and he sleeps late due to the holidays !!

boo to the bfns - hopefully it will be our turn soon.

aly 2ww is so horrible. While temping is good, I wondering though whether every little spike increases the obsession even more. I hope its a lucky one for you next week! When is AF due? Would you need to wait till Friday to POAS or could potentially know earlier if AF doesn't arrive.

cosmic yay !! that is fantastic. I hope you get answers soon or at least one less thing to worry about.

I am waiting for AF to arrive so I can indulge myself with some retail therapy smile

sad Boo to bfn for penguin, fedup and triple. How utterly shit. Hoping for good luck for you next month.

I also POAS this morning and unsurprisingly BFN although AF is not due for about 3/4 days.

Penguin, when is your wedding anniversary? Mine is on Sunday.

Really never even crossed my mind that I wouldn't even be pregnant/have a baby by now. My first MC was two weeks before my wedding and now it's almost my 1 year anniversary was hoping for a bfp at least.

Hoping some bfp's might make an appearance for somebody later!


Oops forgot to add...Congratulations Sundance! grin Really pleased for you, nice to hear some positive news. x

alyant79 Fri 23-Aug-13 09:37:26

cosmic yay! it's amazing what a few tears can do isn't it?

triple i'm 8DPO (i think) today which means af is due mondayish for me. But it's very slightly possible that i might only be 5/6dpo. So i'm going to try and not get excited if AF doesn't arrive, and hold out until friday for POAS. who am i kidding, of course i'll be excited if she doesn't show
I agree that temping might lead to more obsessiveness - but this month I didn't do ANYTHING else - no smep, no ov sticks, no preseed, so I think that one little obsession isn't too bad.

cosmickitten Fri 23-Aug-13 10:19:22

Right in my new positive frame of mind, I'm trying to find solutions to the problems TTC brings. I can't think of a way not to think about TTC. But I'm starting to think it's worth putting some effort into making sex more fun and less duty. Because TTC sometimes just kills that. Not sure how but I think we need more I want to sex, and less we have to cause its day x sex. Any ideas welcomed!!

fod27 Fri 23-Aug-13 12:03:35

That's great cosmic have you thought of watching porn together??

Penguinita Fri 23-Aug-13 12:52:13

Happy anniversary for Sunday over, mine is tomorrow.

So we are off to our swanky hotel this weekend and I am going to drink wine and eat blue cheese and say UP YOURS to that nasty BFN grin

cosmickitten Fri 23-Aug-13 13:01:43

Fod I have suggested that to DH he looked horrified. To start with, (other than using preeseed and not leaving it too long without having sex) I think forgetting all the good/bad ttc sex advice will help.

Fed up of thinking about the right day, the right position and worrying if saliva will kill sperm. It makes all a bit clinical and tense. It also means we have less sex not more........not helpful.

alyant79 Fri 23-Aug-13 13:04:37

good positivity penguin, i hope you get nicely sloshed smile

hmm cosmic no big ideas except the porn one that fod already suggested. I suggested that to DH once and he laughed in my face and looked at me like i was crazy - so maybe it was just me feeling like it was a chore hmm.

what about trying out different positions??? get a karma sutra and make a game of it

cosmickitten Fri 23-Aug-13 13:11:03

Penguin I like your style. Have a super fab weekend!

fod27 Fri 23-Aug-13 13:22:12

Have you tried erotic role play? Dirty talk?

fod27 Fri 23-Aug-13 13:22:38

Or sending naughty pics in the day?

SeasideLily Fri 23-Aug-13 13:27:43

Congratulations Sundance, that's wonderful! Think we all needed that ray of hope - over I could have written your post. I'm trying not to get my hopes up this month because I think I OVd, finally, on the side I still have a tube. I'm finding it harder to hope anyway, which is almost a good thing.

DH and I made up - turns out he didn't even know it was the right time! He was gutted when he realised he'd upset me, but I was still annoyed, because I'd told him twice that we needed to DTD, and I'd told him I was OVing on the right side and that came as a surprise too when I repeated it. Feel like he hasn't listened to a thing I've said about TTC this month.

He's suggested coming up with a different position each time we DTD cosmic - we've not tried it yet (haven't had sex since Sat!) but it's a good idea.

Have a fantastic weekend penguin and over - I hope you have great non-TTC sex without a single thought of what anyone's egg or sperm is doing!

SeasideLily Fri 23-Aug-13 13:29:05

P.s. I'd be terrible at dirty talk! I think I'd just crack up laughing - I'd be like Jess in New Girl. Although cracking up might take all the pressure off, so maybe worth a shot!

Bezza2508 Fri 23-Aug-13 13:32:09

Yay for the BFPS from sundance. Massive congratulations!!!

Sorry for the BFNs though sad

Over and penguin, my wedding anniversary is this weekend too (Sunday). We started trying not long after the wedding so it's a bit depressing that it'll be a year soon with nothing to show for it.

Cosmic what about investing in some massage oil? Using that generally only leads to one thing in my experience!! X

Penguinita Fri 23-Aug-13 13:32:42

cosmic, my idea for next cycle is to start reading 50 shades of grey around cd8 and see if that gets me in the mood or gives me some ideas!

Although I'm probably the only woman on the planet that hasn't read it yet.

Sundance2007 Fri 23-Aug-13 13:56:31

Thanks all so much for your lovely words, it's weird that you all know first before my family but I wouldn't have it any other way, we're all in this together!!

Sounds like its still too early for some people which is hopeful, but I'm also very aware of what it feels like to log in on a Friday and realise you're not the one with the good news to tell, I kind of feel awful for anyone who might feel like that today, I'm so sorry....but I do truly understand!!

This will also sound silly but I will tell you lot anyway. I was also starting to get frustrated with my DH for making me feel like I had to take control of knowing all the dates etc and him not seeming bothered - we also went through several stages of feeling like the romance had long gone so I decided to make a bit of fun out of our situation. I'd make sure I get to bed first and then at some horrendously cheesy 'sex' music when DH came to bed. It was so bad we just laughed so much and I think it really really helped to get us through sometimes.

Try 'let's get ready to rumble' by Ant & Dec, or something from Barry White or Marvin Gaye.
I have a whole list btw!!!

alyant79 Fri 23-Aug-13 14:22:32

penguin i haven't read that book either. I refuse to out of principle now.

seaside there must be a lot of us out there just like Jess!

fod27 Fri 23-Aug-13 14:52:18

aly I'm exactly the same! Besides I'd rather have the video in all honesty... It's just an acceptable women for women to say they like porn.... Porn is porn if you ask me and I'd rather have the visual ( if only for the fact that you can keep your hands free heheeee)

We use dirty talk but he talks and I listen, it's simply audio porn and it's incredibly sexy, he hated it at first but now he's fab at it!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 23-Aug-13 15:27:35

Sundance your story made. Me think of Harry Enfields 'The Slobs' when Waynetta goes all sexy with a Flake when's be hears 'Sexual Healing'! grin
I've read 50 Shades! It's ok. It's not the best written book in the world but its quite tittilating! I read it when away from home. DP didn't know what hit him when I got home!! grin

triplespin Fri 23-Aug-13 18:15:13

aly good luck with holding out till Friday.

Really impressed with bbt, had the massive drop in temp this morning and AF has arrived this afternoon!

ArkadyRose Fri 23-Aug-13 18:23:50

Congrats to sundance! yay for this week's bfp. smile

Been rather occupied offline; I brew mead as a hobby, which means once or twice a month I have a lot of racking up to do - pouring off the half-finished mead to separate it from the yeast - and starting new batches and writing up my notes. I counted it up today - I have 64 litres of mead brewing at the moment! Lots of different flavours. It amuses me that I have all this booze around me that if all goes well, I won't be able to drink! grin Lots of different flavours too. It occurs to me that maybe I ought to look into getting licensed and selling this stuff. Most of mead brewing consists of weeks and months waiting and not doing much, in between periods when you're very busy for a couple of days. It's something I could fit around a small child pretty easily.

AF seems to have finished already, so DP has declared we start DTD tonight. Going to DTD every other day and not bother with OPKs or anything like that. It's BFP or bust! grin

fod27 Fri 23-Aug-13 18:38:42

ark I bet that will really take the pressure off actually ;) good plan

alyant79 Fri 23-Aug-13 20:02:36

Oh ark I love mead and I'd love to try all your different flavours so hurry up and get licensed - ill buy it!

Boo to af triple but at least your bbt let you know

ArkadyRose Fri 23-Aug-13 20:29:52

aly It would take quite a while to get to the point of being able to sell -I've worked out I'd need £10-£15K in start-up capitol first, and it would take about a year before I had something drinkable to sell. At the moment friends get bottles free as birthday and Christmas presents or the occasional trade. At the moment I've got the following on the go: Bramble, Yule (tastes like liquid Christmas puddings!), Clover straight mead, Ginger, Apricot, Spiced Orange, Raspberry Pyment (a mead brewed with grape juice), Strawberry & vanilla, Marmalade, and Acerglyn - which is made with a blend of maple syrup and honey. I'm going to be starting off a new batch of Coffee mead soon, and a Chocolate one that will be turned into Chocolate Mead Liqueur through freeze distillation (the only form of distillation that's legal without license in the UK).

All this mead and I (hopefully) won't be able to drink it for a long time! DP might need some help drinking it all.... wink

alyant79 Fri 23-Aug-13 21:39:16

wow that's a shitload of mead and it all sounds delicious

Sal1977 Sat 24-Aug-13 08:20:46

Just started spotting 11dpo so think that old bitch bag is on her way. Bit gutted, but I guess it was the wtf cycle after last months bfp debacle!

Sal1977 Sat 24-Aug-13 09:12:38

DH did make me laugh though when said he thought I was pregnant and I asked why, he said because I've been farting and snoring so much.....

Penguinita Sat 24-Aug-13 09:53:59

Urgghh, I feel crappy today. I woke up at 5am with a hangover and horrendous period pains telling me that AF had arrived. I haven't had them this bad since the MC.

Luckily we fitted in a pre-anniversary stress free drunken DTD session last night, so hopefully DH won't be too upset that we can't replicate our wedding night tonight!

fedupofrainydays Sat 24-Aug-13 10:40:42

Me too penguin. Immense hangover. No dtd for us as DH fell asleep in a chair in the living room after one too many. There is so baaaad photographic evidence of our behaviour last night!

No af yet but think due tomo / mon and can feel her lurking. Have pain killers and tampons galore at the ready.

We are away with a new born. And I was holding her this morn while her mummy got breakfast. So snuggly, I want one so badly!

alyant79 Sat 24-Aug-13 13:22:31

boo to all these evil witchy AFs turning up. and boo to hangovers but hooray to the fun i'm sure you guys had last night.

haha sal, your DH is hilarious.

fod27 Sat 24-Aug-13 13:39:27

Gawwwwddddd I'm soooo fucking angry!!! I was upstairs being sick for the third time today in the bathroom and the window was open, I overheard my father in law in the garden making comments about how in other countries the women just shoot a baby out and go back to work etc etc!!

The fucking bastard! I'm sooo angry especially as he new what we went through when we lost the last one and to say things like that, and infront of a guest!!! I'm fuming!!!

fod27 Sat 24-Aug-13 13:42:43

penguin sounds as tho your wedding night was much more active than mine heheeee although I couldn't drink, and DH was quite drunk, plus I was scared to do anything incase it caused me to mc

cosmickitten Sat 24-Aug-13 15:45:13

fod your father in law is an arse. And he will have sounded like an arse to your guests too. Stupid man.

Thanks to all of you for ideas, hopefully next month will be a bit more fun :-)

Bezza2508 Sat 24-Aug-13 17:21:26

Fod what an insensitive thing to say. It really pisses me off when men comment on things like that. They have absolutely no idea what pregnancy is like. No vagina, no opinion! Hope you are not feeling too rough.

I feel as though my first AF post mc might be about to arrive. We are going out for anniversary tonight and its my birthday tomorrow. The timing couldn't be worse so it makes sense that it will arrive soon!

misschord Sat 24-Aug-13 17:36:17

Hooray hooray Sundance, applauding wildly and not at all jealous.

Just driving back up north after a week away camping with very little 3G so it's great to read the new thread and catch up. Sorry about the BFNs and stupid FILs. I forgot to pack my thermometer so charting is all messed up this month but maybe a break from it will do us good. x

OneLittleToddleTerror Sat 24-Aug-13 18:57:35

Fod, Your FIL has no idea does he? I bet he is not involved with his wife's pregenancy or the newborn years. I can so see him commenting how labour is easy or that all babies sleep through the night, all children behave and have no tantrums.

Thatssofunny Sat 24-Aug-13 19:10:20

Right, coming back from holiday as a married woman (waahaha...I'm too young...I'm only,...aehm,...30). Had a lovely time and a great wedding day, with amazing weather. Everything was really, really nice. grin
The remaining hcg in my bloodstream seems to have been washed out/drowned/killed by the rather copious amounts of alcohol consumed in the last few weeks. grin AF arrived today (six weeks after mc, four weeks after last "period-like" bleeding, which apparently wasn't actually my proper period), which hopefully means that my levels are low enough for me not to have to worry anymore.
We can get on with it now!! grin

Congratulations to the BFPs I might have missed. flowers

Emki Sat 24-Aug-13 20:23:44

Hello ladies

I'm back from holiday along with AF, grrr!

congrats to Sundance

Huge boos to all the AFs that turned up and BOO to stoopid FIL.

OLTT your post up thread is exactly how I am feeling. I got pregnant quickly with DD and then also quickly with 2nd pregnancy (MC at 20 wks) then took 4 months for 3rd pregnancy (MC at 8 wks) and now i'm 4 cycles on (even though I MC in Feb it took nearly 3 months for cycle to start) and feel that maybe this is not going to happen again - and I'm 38 - a few months off 39 - arrghh!!!! my mum and sister both said , maybe you should go and be checked for fertility probs which made me burst out crying. Rationally I know that it will take a few months or can take up to a year!!!! (Can't wait that long!!!) but every month and a BFN is DOING MY HEAD IN!!!

Im being drastic this month - NO ALCOHOL!!! I did have quite a bit last month - so now im convinced that's the reason AF arrived, also only 1 cup of coffee a day instead of 2 ..... and exercise -it's going to be hell!!

Hope you all have a good bank holiday weekend x

alyant79 Sat 24-Aug-13 22:34:02

Welcome back emki, funny and misschord. On phone so can't check back so hope I haven't missed anyone else.

I hope your wedding and honeymoon were fab funny

fod27 Sat 24-Aug-13 23:27:53

Thanks ladies I'm glad I'm not alone in this ... Btw I love the no vagina no opinion hahaaa genius

triplespin Sun 25-Aug-13 08:28:19

Welcome back everyone!
emki since the arrival of AF I have been enjoying my coffee and also got my hair coloured! Was before controlling my caffeine intake but now thinking wth!

Emki Sun 25-Aug-13 08:56:18

triple I go from one to the other each month - last month I was 'let's be relaxed - drink, coffee etc pretend I'm not trying ..' This month I'm thinking ' ok maybe I over did it - show some restraint ' next month who knows!!!!

Morning all xxx

triplespin Sun 25-Aug-13 11:00:10

Lol. Yes last month I completely abstained and only had one cup decaf tea and go AF for a reward! So decided to go back to normal.

Question on AF post mc. My first AF was heavier than normal and this (2nd one after mc) AF has been pretty light and on CD3 it seems I am almost towards spotting. Usually per MC I had 2-3 days of heavy to medium and a total of 6 days AF. Have others noticed a change post mc and should I be worried about this? Does this mean my lining is too thin?

Emki Sun 25-Aug-13 14:19:21

triple ummmm I've had two mojitos!!! Not a good start!! Not sure re: AF everyone I've had has been different - but I wouldn't worry - if you're next one is very light maybe ask gp x

JBrd Sun 25-Aug-13 14:34:12

Hello all, may I tentatively mark my place here with you again? I only graduated a short while ago, back in July, but sadly, it wasn't meant to be (again). After the early scan showed an empty sac and no heartbeat at the beginning of August, I miscarried on Thursday.

Not sure where I'll go from here, and the thought of ttc again makes me very apprehensive right now. But I still dream of sibling(s) for DS, so I think I need to get back to it eventually..confused

However, they will now do some investigations about my recurring mcs (this was the third in a row), so I guess we need to wait for the outcome of those first anyway.

OneLittleToddleTerror Sun 25-Aug-13 14:50:11

So sorry you are back here jbrd. I was so happy you'd graduated as you joined this thread with me at the same time. Lets hope the doctors find it's something easy to fix for you.

fedupofrainydays Sun 25-Aug-13 14:55:00

Af arrived here sad
Celebrating / commiserating with copious drinks.
Fuckety fuck fuck. Not pregnant by EDD sad

fod27 Sun 25-Aug-13 14:58:23

jbrd that's truly awful, but try to see the silver lining (I know it's not much and I don't mean at all to undermine your pain) but maybe you will now be well on your way to finding out whats causing this xxxxx a friend of mine lost 3 after that she had a injection with her 4th and viola!!! Thinking of you xxxx

Emki Sun 25-Aug-13 17:29:06

jbrd so sorry - thinking of you xxxxx my sister had 3 mc and they found out her blood got too thick to flow through placenta and with her 4th pregnancy she took baby aspirin to thin her blood a bit - voila baby boy - these stories probably don't help but just to say I'm thinking of you xxx lots of virtual hugs flowers and wine

Emki Sun 25-Aug-13 19:45:35

fedup sorry AF got you x

Emki Sun 25-Aug-13 19:51:13

My next AF is due on my EDD ....sad rubbish xxxx sorry there has been so much bad news today xxx

triplespin Sun 25-Aug-13 20:00:40

jbrd so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope though that you are able to get some answers soon.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 25-Aug-13 20:09:45

Im so sorry Jbrd. Im sure you will be back graduating again soon. xxx

SeasideLily Sun 25-Aug-13 20:49:29

Oh, so sorry Jbrd, how very sad. I really hope the answers come in helpfully soon.

Decided to try and do something about feeling like I was making all the effort, so just asked DH if he'd like to put my monthly dates in his diary. He was so touchingly up for it, really keen and seemed grateful to be included - we went through them together, and now he's got my AF due dates, OV dates and the days we need to DTD in his filofax for the next 3 months! We'll see if it helps him remember, but I feel much better that we're in this together again now.

misschord Sun 25-Aug-13 21:00:36

Seaside, what a great idea! Not that my husband ever looks at his diary (he relies on me to tell him), but I wonder whether the shared responsibility would help me to stop feeling like a nag.

Very sorry JBrd and Fedup. Take it easy. xxx

omama Sun 25-Aug-13 21:07:20

Jbrd so sorry to hear that, thinking of you.

Not been on for a while, had af 6 weeks after mmc & started ttc this next cycle. Temp still all over the place & finally got +ve opk 2 days ago on cd 22 (usually ovulate around cd 18). Then the stupid witch turns up today. sad So I've had a 23 day cycle - usually 28-35 days. Does it sound like still screwy from mmc? Just can't figure why I'd get +ve opk so close to af?

SeasideLily Sun 25-Aug-13 21:07:25

Thanks misschord - don't know why I didn't do it from the beginning!

Know how you feel fedup - my EDD was the 22nd. That was a crap day. AF due on Friday, not getting hopes up, but would so love this all to be safely over.

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 26-Aug-13 08:53:06

omama does it mean you had a 2 day luteal phase this cycle? Do I read it correctly that this is cycle 0 or 1 after MC for you? Then I wouldn't worry too much at all. It is all part and parcel of MC sadly. It will take a few cycles to settle back to normal.

I also am having a wtf cycle atm, and this is cycle 4. I was normal for cycle 1-3. But today is CD8 and first day the CBFM asks for a stick. And it read high fertility. Really WTF. I don't usually ovulate until CD 16 or so.

Penguinita Mon 26-Aug-13 09:14:53

Oh no JBrd, what sad news. I know the ladies here are all lovely but I bet you really didn't want to find yourself back on this thread again. Hope the tests can give you some answers.

OLTT I'm not convinced about cbfm, after getting 19 days of high in a row last cycle starting from cd6. I'm going to give mine one last chance to behave itself this cycle before it goes in the bin. smile

Bezza2508 Mon 26-Aug-13 09:22:50

Welcome JBrd. So sorry that you find yourself back here. What you have been through must be so upsetting so I hope you are getting looked after.

My AF didn't show up to ruin my birthday or anniversary plans. Still very crampy though so hoping it will show up soon and then we can crack on with trying again. I'm quite nervous about the first AF post MC as I've heard they can be awful and I found mine bad enough before the MC.

alyant79 Mon 26-Aug-13 10:08:31

Oh no jbrd I'm so sorry sad

Sorry for af fedup. I think she'll be here too any minute. Due today and my temp dropped this morning. Boo hiss. My temps were soooo high that I'm wondering if something started to implant but failed. I'm very very very crampy, much more than usual

fedupofrainydays Mon 26-Aug-13 10:40:44

Oh no jbrd. So sorry to hear that. Hopefully the doctors can find out what's going on and can help you.

aly this af is really painful for me too, didnt sleep last night it was so bad. Feeling tired and very low this morning.

Hope af doesn't arrive for you

triplespin Mon 26-Aug-13 10:59:14

Boo to AFs arrived this weekend. Oh aly sorry about the temp drop. Hope it's by AF.
omama I have really stopped trusting opks. So many stories here of strange highs. 2 day lute all phase doesn't make sense, so I would think the opk is wrong. In any case as I now understand opk just only signals rise in LH but does not mean ovulation has actually taken place.

triplespin Mon 26-Aug-13 11:00:57

aly weird autocorrect. I meant "hope it's NOT AF"

Sal1977 Mon 26-Aug-13 16:31:18

AF due here today but nothing yet. Found a bunch if IC tests and broke the rules, sadly it was a BFN. Balls. Had a bit of spotting day before yesterday and a bit this morning so she's on her way I reckon. Bumhug!

Bezza2508 Mon 26-Aug-13 16:42:15

My AF has arrived too. Not as painful as I had feared.

Penguinita Mon 26-Aug-13 17:19:20

Seems like there is a big group of us that all got AF this weekend. So I reckon that means there wil be a Bumper BFP Friday in about 4 weeks time! BFPs for everyone! grin

triplespin Mon 26-Aug-13 17:35:02

Lovely thought penguin! That should get me through the next 4 wks smile

Sundance2007 Mon 26-Aug-13 18:28:00

So sorry evil af has got to some of you, I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you all this month.

jbrd - I'm so sorry to hear your news, big hugs, you poor thing. Hopefully the docs can at least help with some investigations and find a solution.

I've been having more pains today and yesterday, I haven't had any pg symptoms yet - last time the boobs started aching practically straight away. If I'm honest I don't feel very confident, and guess I won't until I have a healthy baby in my arms. At the docs tomorrow for results if my 21 day bloods.

Bezza2508 Mon 26-Aug-13 19:13:40

I like that thought penguin.

sundance I have everything crossed that it will work out for you this time. What are day 21 blood tests for? I have heard of them but just can't remember what they're for. Is it to check the level of progesterone?

omama Mon 26-Aug-13 22:33:54

penguin - lets hope so!!!

sundance - fx'd all will go well this time around. I barely had any symptoms first time & everything worked out fine so it can happen. Try not to worry.

OneLittleToddleTerror - yes looks like a 2 day LP confused. This is cycle 1 post mmc. My wtf cycle lasted 6 weeks so I was hoping I'd be back on track this time but clearly not! WTF round 2! Lets hope this next cycle will be back to 'normal'

Tripleskin - I don't trust opk on their own either, I am temping too & had the usual dip in temp right before I got the +ve opk. Anyway since af is here, we'll have to presume it was a false +ve.

I am expecting AF tomorrow or Weds. Loving penguin's idea of multiple BFP's next month! Determined to try even harder next month, I feel that we stopped dtd a couple of days earlier than we should have.

JBrd; so sorry to hear your news...fingers crossed for some answers for you now x

AF arrived for me this morning following a massive temp drop. Booo.

Onwards and upwards!


fod27 Tue 27-Aug-13 07:26:17

So I get up I go to the toilet to find I'm bleeding... Dark brown watery consistency, I'm absoloubtly devastated!!! I've had no cramps and loads if sickness, I can't believe this is happening again ;( I have a scan this evening too but I'm petrified to go

ArkadyRose Tue 27-Aug-13 07:59:01

Oh no fod - really hope scan shows all is OK. If it's brown, maybe it's just a bit more implantation blood that got shifted as things start growing & moving? Remember too that some women do bleed on and off all through some pregnancies yet have healthy babies anyway - my sister did with her last pregnancy, and her daughter is now 2. She bled every month around the time AF would have been due. She has endometriosis, so the doctors think it was endometrial tissue in her vagina that was the source of the bleeding. Fx for you!

Sundance2007 Tue 27-Aug-13 08:56:59

fod - try not to panic, brown blood is old, healthy blood so sounds like some excess matter clearing itself out of your system, if you were in pain and had fresh blood then it might be more if a concern. I know it's hard not to worry but hopefully your scan will confirm. Fx

bezza - I pushed to have some tests done to see what the pains I was getting were and whether they were stopping me from conceiving. They do blood tests at the start if af to test hormone levels and again on day 21 to make sure you are producing enough progesterone - this can rule out things like endometriosis and or ovarian cysts. I went to the docs this morning, everything has come back ok and I'm defo pregnant. Now just need to push for an early scan when I see the midwife.

fod27 Tue 27-Aug-13 09:18:59

Thanks ladies I would be due AF today, not sure if that changes anything?

Bezza2508 Tue 27-Aug-13 09:55:42

I've heard of quite a few people having bleeding around the time of their period Fod. Are you having a private scan this evening or going to the EPU? Good luck.

That's good news sundance. How long have you been trying before your BFP? Hope you don't mind me asking. I haven't quite caught up with people's history yet cos I'm new smile

fedupofrainydays Tue 27-Aug-13 11:01:20

fod good luck. Try not to worry (although I know imposs) as it is old blood and no cramping which are both good signs.

over sorry af got you sad

I'm interested too in how long after mc it's taking people to get bfps. I'm six months now and it's really getting me down sad I hear all these stories about bfps in a matter of weeks post mc and just not in my case.

fod27 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:30:23

Private this evening and EPU tomorrow

alyant79 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:52:42

fod good luck tonight. fingers, toes and everything crossed that it was just some old blood this morning.

sundance that's great news. hooray!

fedup it's getting me down too. I'm pretty sure AF is going to arrive today - my temp was slightly up from yesterday but i broke the rules this morning and poas on an ic (only because my boss is having a BBQ at his place tonight and i needed to know for sure if I can drink or not, so that's OK right??? but please fishslap me anyway) and it was a bfn. That's 6 cycles now since mc or 7 if you count the first wtf cycle.
BUT now I keep hearing lots of stories from people about how it took them a year to get pg with their second child, after getting knocked up immediately with the first. So I am trying very, very hard not to panic.

Sal1977 Tue 27-Aug-13 11:58:39

Me too over. Shit isn't it?

cosmickitten Tue 27-Aug-13 12:09:34

jbrd I'm sorry it's truly awful that you are going this.

fod I wish I could say something to make the next few hours easier. Will be thinking of you xxx

Have been trying some new positions as part of making sex more fun. Not hugely successful, it turns out neither of us are very bendy! But it did cause giggles which is good start!

fod27 Tue 27-Aug-13 12:16:11

Thanks so much ladies, I just know it will destroy me this time, despite trying not to get attached to the idea the further along we have travelled the harder that's been to do ;(

Very shit, Sal sad

Fod - Crossing my fingers for you, good luck tonight x

Emki Tue 27-Aug-13 13:00:45

fod everything crossed for you xxx

sal so shit! I'm now telling people that we're not trying as too terrified after 2 mcs ( it is easing the pressure a bit by lying to people) - though obviously we are and it's all I think about and this roller coaster of emotions is really hard to deal with.

SeasideLily Tue 27-Aug-13 14:29:18

I hope your scan puts your mind at ease, fod, and proves that you don't need to worry. I'm sure everything's fine, but it's good that you have a scan tonight to calm your fears. Xxx

Sal1977 Tue 27-Aug-13 14:38:11

Having a proper pity party here today. Bitter and twisted and raging against the world.

Good luck this evening Fod, we'll all be thinking of you and waiting to hear the outcome! Xx

Sundance2007 Tue 27-Aug-13 15:45:49

Keep us posted on how you get in fod - thinkin of you!

My mc was on march 4th, I was 12+3....2 days before my first scan! So, not including the 5 week wtf cycle it's taken 5 attempts, my edd was sept 13th so I was all set to see that come and go.

Don't feel at all pg though, told my parents today and they were happy but obviously really worried too. Trying to stay positive but I'm a natural worrier sadly.

I know how f-ing annoying it is when people say to "relax, don't try so hard", but this last successful attempt was almost a write-off for me, I drank way too much and ate whatever I wanted as opposed to the usual strict ttc regime so in my case I think the more laid back approach worked for me. Bird poop - it must have been the bird poop!!

fedupofrainydays Tue 27-Aug-13 17:07:56

My EDD was 13 sept too. sad

The month you conceived, how much dtd did you do? As I am starting to think we try too much. Both times I've been pregnant it was from having sex 2 to 3 times during what I thought was fertile period (pre opks) and when trying hard we have been doing it much more and I think that's actually not helping us. Perhaps wearing dh's swimmers out. So am going for less is more this cycle and hopefully land ov day with it

fedupofrainydays Tue 27-Aug-13 17:11:39

Ps aly I forgot we were the same person!! Yes, also shitting it here about the second dc. It appears that people either take ages to conceive #2 or it happens pretty much immediately. I'm clearly in former bracket and stressing me out sad .

alyant79 Tue 27-Aug-13 17:31:53

hey fedup i don't need to write posts anymore, since everything you say applies to me too wink.

we did the relaxed approach this month and although AF still hasn't arrived i'm now getting some spotting so she's on her way for sure. It was nice not stressing too much about dtd on the right day.
I'll be away for ov day this next cycle so am hoping that getting swimmers up there early - in a relaxed manner of course - will be enough.
I'm also going to follow seaside's example and put my dates in DH's diary so that he can start to make a bit of an effort.

sal and over i'm really sorry that AF got you today - i'll be joining the pity party tomorrow. right now i'm sticking my head in the door...

and remember if the worst does happen (which it won't) you WILL get through it. you are a strong woman and can cope with anything. It will not destroy you.

fedupofrainydays Tue 27-Aug-13 17:40:12

Sod the relaxed approach then!! If it didnt work for my double then why would it for me?! ;) however af is not officially there for you yet so am thinking it still could have worked!!

it must help with the sanity / relationship / tiredness factor though so am giving it a go this month and then will no doubt enjoy getting af smack bang in the middle of my holiday when wearing a light coloured bikini bottoms

triplespin Tue 27-Aug-13 17:54:15

My post has disappeared. Will write a short one now.

fod fx for your scan this evening.

We are going with more is better approach this time. Though both times we have conceived, it has been from 2/3 times before ov.

Penguinita Tue 27-Aug-13 18:44:22

Really hope it is good news for you fod, fx.

Boo to the AFs. Weird how many of us seem to be in sync now.

I think I read that DTD every other day means better sperm quality compared to every day, they need a bit of recovery time. So I guess it depends on whether you are going for a quantity or quality strategy! I'm going to try and wait a few extra days before commencing the shagathon this cycle. I think we start too early and then burn out so we don't do it enough around peak time.

I don't need to put my OV dates in DH's diary. I just swap my frumpy ancient cotton pjs for my silk nightie for a few days and he gets the message wink

fedupofrainydays Tue 27-Aug-13 19:35:23

penguin that made me laugh. Got images of sauntering down the stars in your nightie (although have no clue what you look like) and beckoning DH upstairs or DH about to drift off to sleep and you fling back the covers revealing sexy nightie and no sleepy time required!!

Bezza2508 Tue 27-Aug-13 19:43:49

Haha penguin. I have a really bad habit of putting my pyjamas on when I get in from work if we're not going out! My DH always knows he's gonna get lucky when I get changed out of my work clothes into something nice!

I take it back about my first AF being ok. The second day had been awful. Ibuprofen and paracetamol did nothing. I have now resorted to codeine, which the hospital gave me to take home after my miscarriage. Feeling very sorry for myself.

fod27 Tue 27-Aug-13 21:01:06

Been for a private scan today, babys heartbeat still going strong and he measures 9wks and 4 days, still got go hospital tomorrow but the sonographer thinks its something to do with my uterus... It's a weird shape apparently x

cosmickitten Tue 27-Aug-13 21:08:03

fod I'm so glad to hear all is well with your little one. Fingers crossed hospital can offer more answers and reassurance.

Sal1977 Tue 27-Aug-13 21:08:46

That's good news Fod, I've been waiting for news all evening! X

smile Yay, Fod. x

Misspositivity Tue 27-Aug-13 21:11:41

sundance. Congratulations so so happy for you.
fod great news re scan.

My EDD is 15th Sep. so Pretty sure I am going to see it pass with no joy. I have been trying out wedding dresses so pretty sure a bump isn't going to be a suitable accessory.

Still lurking though. Keeping up temping and acupuncture.
You better all be up duffed by the time we try again properly. Xxx

fod27 Tue 27-Aug-13 21:32:47

Thanks so much ladies I really appreciate all your support I was so frightened, it's such a bloody roller coaster!! There was a young couple in there and I was so envious of their ignorance xxx

fedupofrainydays Tue 27-Aug-13 21:45:11

Ah that's great news fod I knew it was going to be ok! My friend has a funny shaped uterus too - heart shaped in fact - and is currently pregnant with her third (no, of course I'm not at all jealous) and has bled in all 3 pregnancies but all totally fine!

Emki Tue 27-Aug-13 21:50:34

Great news fod! Hopefully you csn get a good nights kip.

My EDD was 18th sept- it's also when my next AF is due ... Here's to lots of bfp in the next few weeks.

I'm also thinking less dtd this month - times I've got pregnant before have been when we only dtd a couple of times ... But I do get anxious now that it's not enough even though it probably is!!

SeasideLily Tue 27-Aug-13 22:09:47

Oh phew fod I'm so relieved for you. Hope tomorrow's appointment is equally reassuring.

alyant79 Tue 27-Aug-13 22:16:05

Oh fod that's so great. Excellent excellent news.

Bezza I'm sorry your af is so bad. Think of it as a good clear out.

alyant79 Tue 27-Aug-13 22:17:50

Ps missp you know the best way to get pg is prob to buy a wedding dress with no room to grow

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 27-Aug-13 22:37:53

fod I'm so happy for you

triplespin Wed 28-Aug-13 08:37:36

fod really great news ! you are edging closer and closer to the 12 wk mark. Not much time to go smile

aly that made me laugh, but you are so right. Probably that is the best way for missp to increase her chances of getting pg. What about you? Is AF still staying away? How are the temps doing?

Its true most of us our pretty synchronised here now - so is there anyone poas this Friday? Its always nice to wake up on a Friday and get some good bfp news!

alyant79 Wed 28-Aug-13 08:45:53

AF still hasn't made an appearance, although i'm still spotting a little bit. Temp is also still lowish so i'm sure she'll show up. 2 days late now but i'm sure i'm not pg - i think this might have been an almost-almost-bean

triplespin Wed 28-Aug-13 10:04:02

oh no - i hope in that case that AF hurries up so you can start preparing for the next month !

Daisychain44 Wed 28-Aug-13 10:07:02

similar situation here aly - AF due today / tomorrow (who knows - seems to have a life of it's own half the time!) but BFN this morning (not a Friday I know but AF day so still reckon I did pretty well waiting! wink ) so looks like August was a another wash out. Humppph. Sept here we come!

alyant79 Wed 28-Aug-13 10:44:22

oh poo daisy
poo poo poo

fod27 Wed 28-Aug-13 10:46:38

fedup my uterus too is heart shaped, apparently the baby grows on one side and the other side doesn't think it's pregnant and therefore menstruates!!

Tomkat79 Wed 28-Aug-13 11:03:22

So glad all well fod

BFP here this morning. ( I thought it was Friday)

BFFP!! Am in shock.

Did it once towards end of fertile week, very drunk. Didn't think would be but very hot and tingly boobs so thought would just test and see. I won't believe it and I'm not moving until I'm 39 weeks! x

fedupofrainydays Wed 28-Aug-13 11:33:40

Congrats tomkat
So you are proof of my less is more theory!!!

Sorry for those of you who got af. Still hope for you aly until she flows

Glad you have some answers fod but I know it will still be scary to see blood.

alyant79 Wed 28-Aug-13 11:39:23

wow tomkat!!!!!!
congrats! yet another advocate of the less-is-more technique then...

ps I don't believe for one minute that you thought it was friday.
<<slaps tomkat with a big fat trout>>

SeasideLily Wed 28-Aug-13 13:22:55

Yay Tomkat Yay and triple yay! We've been trying and failing at the more chilled approach too, so fx that's the charm!

I'm not even going to pretend my hopes aren't massively up: I poas this morning thinking yesterday was 10 days p.o (I'll take all the fish, I deserve it. I have no excuse), and BFN. But then in the shower I had af-back pain, and now I have dark brown blood - but af's not due until at least Friday. Is this...could this be implantation bleeding?

I'm going to wait until Friday to poas again, I promise, and I really hope I'm not disappointed. We're going away for my birthday this weekend and I so want good news to leave with!

Daisychain44 Wed 28-Aug-13 13:24:16

ha ha ha ha!

congratulations Tomkat - great news. Glad there was another positive at the back of this bus! timing and luck is "all" it seems to require!!!!! (if only planning and obsessing were the pre-requisites - arrgghhhhh!)

Daisychain44 Wed 28-Aug-13 13:29:09

oops - not the "bus" thread - getting myself confused!

alyant79 Wed 28-Aug-13 13:31:44

i'm now convinced that it's all luck. I bet you could do it once in the fertile week or ten times and if it's going to happen it'll happen, regardless.

oooh seaside i hope it is IB! but here's a slap with a cod for being naughty. <<SLAP>>

fod27 Wed 28-Aug-13 13:55:26

tomkat we got caught exactly the same way! Well apart from being drunk it was a naughty quickie in the inlaws bathroom whilst they were out hahaaa and we were standing!! Go figure.....

Really pleased for you! I too have spent as much time as poss since my BFP on my back ;)

Bezza2508 Wed 28-Aug-13 14:17:15

So pleased your scan went well Fod. Have you had a date for your 12 week scan yet? I have a weird uterus too....mine is bicornuate. Some people called that heart shaped but mine is more pronounced with two definite 'horns'. One side of mine is also bigger than the other.

Congrats tomkat. Very exciting to have another thread BFP.

cosmickitten Wed 28-Aug-13 14:22:24

tomkat congratulations :-)

triplespin Wed 28-Aug-13 14:45:22

tomkat wonderful news ! seaside fx for you.

Aah daisychain, I know what you mean, if only planning was a prerequisite. It seems all down to luck. After all this news, I am going to abort my more is better plan with immediate effect !

fod27 Wed 28-Aug-13 16:53:41

bezza that's what she called it bicornuate.... We have a scan booked for the 20th sept but that'll make me 13 weeks although I think I'm going to try to sneak anther one in before then

katatonic Wed 28-Aug-13 16:55:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NerdyBird Wed 28-Aug-13 18:04:36

Yay for BFPs for sundance and tomkat!

Glad to see we have good news, and a good scan for fod too. Hope everyone who has AF isn't having too bad a time.

I am in the 2ww. AF due next thursday it seems. I am not so anxious about it this month. I guess I've already resigned myself to it being a BFN, whereas last month I really thought I might be pregnant. Just don't think we did it enough at the right time for it to have worked.

On the brightside, I am now registered with a doctor, and I've got an appointment next week for an acupuncture consultation.

NerdyBird Wed 28-Aug-13 19:26:38

Hmm. Just checked the Clue app I'm using to track my cycle, and it's inexplicably moved everything back by three days! So now it has me as expecting AF on monday, on a 33 day cycle. Last ones were 36 and 34. I didn't put in any new data so am confused!

Emki Wed 28-Aug-13 19:37:47

Yay for tomkat great news xxxxx fingers crossed for aly and seaside


Tomkat79 Wed 28-Aug-13 21:57:22

That's really odd nerdy. I've always used the Period Tracker app and it seems to be spot on. Had to re tweak the dates though as after MC it obviously gave me a much longer average monthly cycle xx

SeasideLily Wed 28-Aug-13 22:06:37

Think my hopes for IB are over - blood is getting redder. Think it's just an early af, which is unusual for me :-(

Oh well, you can't go camping without booze anyway. Bring on the weekend.

misschord Wed 28-Aug-13 23:59:06

Oh, sorry Seaside, get some practice in while you are away!

Penguin - love the silk nightie = ovulation idea. I don’t think I have a silk nightie, but do you think if I made a big badge and pinned it to my pyjamas that would do?

fod so pleased that everything is OK.

Yay Tomkat, but big slaps for you!

Slightly temp rise today and we have been DTD madly over the last few days so fx.

Sundance2007 Thu 29-Aug-13 00:16:03

tomkat - congratulations, that's fantastic news. Yaaay!!

And ladies, take note of the getting pissed stories too!! Obviously has slightly more of a positive effect than the NHS would have us believe.

I've just checked, I DTD a total of 7 times last cycle, which was probably above average for us! Starting 5 days after af had gone, consecutively, right through to one day after my ov date. All a bit tricky as my cycles varied from 23-29 days.
First time I got pg though, we DTD just 3 times, in December (more booze!) and it worked.

NerdyBird Thu 29-Aug-13 08:51:25

This morning Clue has me on 34 days... It's very odd. I will check out period tracker if it's worked for you tomkat

triplespin Thu 29-Aug-13 09:01:45

nerdybird I am using fertility friend and haven't seen it make any odd changes so far. May be worth checking out too?

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 09:10:03

Yep, af's here. No practising with her around misschord! Love the thought of pinning a 'come and get it' badge to my PJs though! A big red cheesy sparkly heart one, with flashing lights...

Sal1977 Thu 29-Aug-13 09:31:22

That plays 'Lets get it on' when you press a button...

Sal1977 Thu 29-Aug-13 09:31:58

One to add to the project desperate list...

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 10:14:46

Yes. Absolutely. I think we should pitch them to MN as the start of their reproductive merchandise range!

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 29-Aug-13 10:52:19

Nice to see more BFP this week. seaside that's the spirit. Hope you have a nice camping holiday.

And I love the thought of booze having a positive effect on BFPs.

I'm onto the active BD week now. Because of my stupid CBFM which claims I'm on high fertility on day 8, we started our every other day from that day. I know it's too early, but then I don't want to chance it. You'd do the same, wouldn't you? Like normal, I'm feeling all hopeful now thinking this might be the month for us.

Drink to all having a positive week wine

NerdyBird Thu 29-Aug-13 11:04:03

Thanks triplespin, I'll look at that too.

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 11:40:50

Does anyone know how long ibuprofen's infertility effect lasts? Af's killing me, is it safe to take it when you're on?

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 29-Aug-13 11:57:06

seaside not sure, but I know ibuprofen is a definitely no no in pregnancy. But surely it couldn't last that long in the body? Given you have to take it 3 times a day?

Badhairday76 Thu 29-Aug-13 11:58:47

Hello everybody - have been away on hols so just been catching up on this thread. Congrats to Sundance, Tomkat and to Fod for the excellent scan news. Fab to hear!

Sorry to all of those of you for whom AF has got. I hardly dare put this down in print but got a BFP yesterday. I actually got 5 BFPs because could not believe my eyes. I 've just been referred for fertility investigations and had 21 day bloods taken on Tues. Basically the only reason I tested so early was because I had 10 days of super dark lines on Internet OPKs and we were getting exhausted by all the shagging. Managed it 9 days in a row but must have ovved about a week ago and caught straight away. Or, and this is the bit I am terrified about, it's another ectopic and thus wasn't affected by my 7 day period which started on 7th August. I think I'm only about 7-9 DPO which seems far too early to get a BFP but doc didn't seem too concerned. I went to see him all in a panic and did another test in his surgery which came up straight away. I've had a blood test today then need to go again on Sat to EPU for more bloods to check to see if HgC has doubled. If not, it's probs another ectopic.

Part of me feels really sick, shaky and terrified and another part of me dares to hope it might be okay. Am terrified of losing another tube and will struggle massively if its another miscarriage. Anyways - thought I would share with you ladies since it's (nearly) POAS Friday. Am still in shock so feel free to fish slap at will - it might jolt me back to myself!

Badhairday76 Thu 29-Aug-13 12:00:05

Forgot to add, I drank LOADS on holiday and ate a whole slab of Brie to myself. Might be something in the booze theory after all...

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 12:14:43

Wow, badhairday, congratulations! There is hope for us single-tubed ladies! Do you mind me asking, which TTC cycle was this for you?

Everything crossed for your test - although I don't think it's HgC that indicates ectopic, as mine doubled just as it should. It was a big bean when it came out for being stuck in a tube :-( But you have at least a 90% chance of everything being fine, so (though it's impossible and I know I will if when it ever happens again) try not to worry. Will they give you a scan soon to put your mind at ease? I was told to go straight in for one if I ever get pg again.

Also, mega impressed at managing it 9 days in a row!

fod27 Thu 29-Aug-13 12:34:10

badhairday I'm crossing everything for you !!.... This is definitely the scary bit! When we were in the EPU yesterday there was a young couple that could have been us back in feb, she was sat in the corner and had clearly been given some awful news... I wanted to run over to her and share my experiences and tell her it will get easier, instead your just left with a feeling of guilt because this time your bean (for the time being -i don't want to jinx anything- is ok)

I've work up with no nausea or sickness and im petrified something is wrong I should be 10 weeks tomorrow I just can't settle with this pregnancy I keep waiting for it all to go horribly wrong... It's fuvking torture

Yay for Tomkat and Badhair grin

So pleased for you both. x

Cd3 for me. Feeling Ughhh. sad

Booked in for reflexology today but earliest I could get in was Cd16 which is pretty much ov day so hoping it's not too late...not that it will work that soon anyway! (Wishful thinking)

Feels good to know I'm trying something different.


Badhairday76 Thu 29-Aug-13 12:39:08

Thanks so much Seaside - am hoping so much it's good news. Particularly since I am a uni-tuber! I must be literally only just pregnant and doc has said they can't scan me until I'm six weeks, which is bloody ages away. Doc said that if its ectopic it won't double every 48 hours. Am well confused. My ectopic was at about 7 weeks and foetus had a heartbeat and everything and fully ruptured my tube which is why I lost it.

I had the tube removed on Christmas Eve, waited for one period then been trying ever since. Had a miscarriage at about 5 or 6 weeks on Easter Sunday so I guess that makes it 7 months trying? We have been trying REALLY hard though. So much so that I am sick of having sex. Thankfully I have a younger, virile Australian partner who is always willing to rise to the occasion!

Have had no symptoms whatsoever - and didn't with the ectopic or miscarriage - so am worrying like mad here. Also got a poorly boy lying in bed. At least it has stopped me stressing about my imminent return to teaching teenagers next week. Got alot more to be stressed about right now...

Badhairday76 Thu 29-Aug-13 12:40:41

And thanks Fod and Over for your comments. Crossed posts! X

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 12:53:17

badhair that's great news!!!! Fantastic!!! Wow it's a bumper week.

So confused now!! How many times should we do it during fertile week?? How much should I drink????

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 12:58:18

badhair sorry didn't update page- totally understand how anxious you must be - but you've worked hard for this! 9 days in a row!!!! I have everything crossed that this will be a bean that is sticky in the correct place x

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 13:16:28

It sucks that getting pg isn't the relief it should be, but the odds are overwhelmingly in your favour badhair. But argh, 6 weeks is so long!

I've just finished cycle 3, though feels so much longer: ectopic was in Dec too, but we waited 2months, had one wtf cycle then took a break of 2 months.

Emki I'm going with every other day during fertile time, and not drinking during the week, but relaxing at the weekend. Might give the iPod another go this month to confirm if, or start temping again, but otherwise trying to chill out a bit more.

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 13:17:48

Lol. IPod?!! Bloody phone!! I meant opks!!

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 13:18:30

And ov not if. Hell's sake!

alyant79 Thu 29-Aug-13 13:23:19

badhair wow that's fabbo news!! I've got everything crossed for you that this will be the one that sticks in the right place.

I have to say i'm glad that i don't have a cbfm, they seem to be missing ov for a whole bunch of you ladies.

emki the answer to your question is obviously sex= hardly at all, drink = loads.
That's going to be my plan next month as i'm going to be away from hubby at a work do for 5 days and will probably ov in the middle of that. hopefully either the swimmers will live a long time and i ov early, or I ov late and we catch the egg after it's been launched.
In reality i'm clearly out for next cycle.

ps AF still hasn't turned up but my temp was right right down to almost the lowest it ever gets today so she's bound to show up any minute. 2/3 days late now and still only a teensy tiny bit of spotting....

SeasideLily Thu 29-Aug-13 13:34:34

aly that is some willpower not to have tested...you must really not like fish!

fod27 Thu 29-Aug-13 13:36:21

badhairday are you a teacher too? Do you teach in secondary or FE?

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 13:45:04

seaside you made giggle A LOT!!
aly reckon you're right - maybe an immaculate drummed conception!

aly your will power is amazing - can I just ask .. I'm in second month of temping and on day 8 of cycle. My temp is still quite high same as in luteal phase .. Must admit I'm not good at doing it at the same time as keep in needing a pee early morning and then forget to take temp ... I'm quite confused by whole thing - however will set alarm now to do it before I need a pee ... Poor dh!!

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 13:49:20

Errr made ME giggle - I mean - !!!

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 29-Aug-13 14:03:07

emki that doens't sound right that you temp hasn't dropped since the luteal phase. It should be quite a clear difference. Basically a higher temperature during luteal phase, dropping to a lower level on the day of your AF (or just before). And it should stay low until you ovulated. I don't use an alarm to wake myself up, just taking the temp first thing I wake up. It's important you don't actually get up and go for a pee before taking your temp though. BBT is your rest temperature after all.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 29-Aug-13 14:03:31

And grats badhairday. We seem to be getting a string of BFP atm!

alyant79 Thu 29-Aug-13 14:06:01

i knew it. She's here.

seaside and emki i DID test on tuesday because i was going to a boozy work do that night. But even if I hadn't done that test, I KNEW that i wasn't pg due to low temps (although secretly of course i was hoping for a bfp tomorrow).

emki my temp is always a bit erratic during the first 8-9 days of cycle but it is usually lower than the highest point of the luteal phase. It kind of gradually decreases down to a minimum just before i ovulate. But this was only my third cycle of temping.

Badhairday76 Thu 29-Aug-13 14:11:12

Thanks for the congrats, ladies. I'll feel better about having the blood tests back but then, who am I kidding? Will be a nervous wreck for at least the next 9 months even if a is okay.

Yes, I am a Secondary School English teacher and work on a boys comp in London. Am dreading going back but am now worrying far more about this pregnancy!

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 14:18:44

Ooh I'm also a teacher at a boys comp in London .... Dreading going back .... Eek!!

Yes I don't move (apart from arm reaching to get thermometer) however had to abort yesterday as needed a pee and didn't realise it was 5am - you need to be asleep for 3 hours before taking temp or sommink! Anyway will focus on taking temp properly from tomorrow morning - thanks for advice aly and oltt

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 14:22:18

badhair when I hot pg in jan after my first mc I was a total mess - so anxious - I think you get to tired or overwhelmed please take time off to rest - it's a stressful enough job as it is.

alyant79 Thu 29-Aug-13 14:31:21

emki if i get up at 5ish for a pee i still take my temp at 6:45/7am when i usually get up. I take the 3 hour rule to mean: don't take your temp after you've just lain down for a wee nap.
If i had to be just an hour before normal waking time i'd probably take temp then and also when i normally would to see what sort of a difference it makes. I have done that, and the early temp was lower.

my biggest prob is that i usually wake up thirsty, and sometimes i forget to take my temp before i have a drink. cold water in the mouth makes for a low temp!

alyant79 Thu 29-Aug-13 14:31:56

oh one more thing emki - high temps on cd8: sure you're not pg??

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 14:36:43

aly well AF arrived so didn't bother doing a test ... Ill look back at what temps were like this time last month ... And maybe POAS tomorrow because its Friday ... But really don't think I am it was proper AF in all her witcheness ...

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 14:38:01

aly thanks for info - that makes me feel better so will do that too - smile

Badhairday76 Thu 29-Aug-13 14:43:16

Blimey! Am in Islington, Emki - where are you?

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 14:57:00

Ealing ...

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 16:01:21

I think I'm shuffling around too much before I take temp trying not to wake up ... Just took temp and its same as it is in morning ... Will be more focused for cd9

Sundance2007 Thu 29-Aug-13 16:50:05

Congratulations badhair - please can I launch a haddock in your direction though?! smile

This is going to be a good thread ladies, lots of drunken shags = lots of bfp. I'll probably get kicked off here by mn soon for inciting bad behaviour but as long as you keep up with your vitamins too it'll be fine I'm sure.

I knew this was coming but the level of fear and paranoia has become all consuming. No sore boobs yet, no nausea, the tiredness is not as bad as it was and I'm getting some occasional pains again. Today i am 6 weeks! Trying to stay positive but also just wish that if this is going to end up as a mc, it would hurry up so the damage can be limited. My gp's only has one midwife working at the mo, and I can't get a single appt until 13th sept-which was my edd first time round.
So - there will be lots if thumb twiddling for next couple of weeks but hopefully it will mean I can get in for a scan straight away.

Keeping fx for anyone POAS tmrw. X

Fancies40Winks Thu 29-Aug-13 19:22:09

Hi everyone

Hope you don't mind me posting a question here. I had a mmc discovered at 9 weeks, my hcg was at 15k+ and not dropping 4 weeks ago. I had an erpc 3 weeks ago. Based on that does anyone have any experience of when ovulation might happen/af might come? I'm shattered and spotty and having little boob twinges so feeling premenstrual atm but surely it's far too early?

Congrats to the bfps on here and best of luck to everyone else.

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 20:11:30

Hello fancies there first seem to be a specific amount of time for AF to arrive after an erpc - on this thread there had been anything from 4 weeks to 11 weeks .. Sorry probably not what you hoping for . For me it took nearly 11 weeks but that might have been because I had a late mc before that one so body as taking a long time to recover .

Sorry you find yourself here but wish you all the luck x

Bezza2508 Thu 29-Aug-13 20:34:36

Woohoo another thread BFP! Congrats badhairday.

Hi fancies. Sorry for your loss. I had a MMC at 12 weeks at the end of July and it took a while for my hormones to drop. I don't know the exact levels as I didn't have a blood test but it took 4 weeks to get a negative test and then a week later (5 weeks to the day after ERPC) AF arrived. So your AF may well arrive shortly. My AF has been awful but at least once its over with, we can think about trying again.

Emki Thu 29-Aug-13 21:50:44

Sorry for all typos today !! Blinking phone and auto correcting and me not checking!!!

fod27 Thu 29-Aug-13 21:57:17

Ooooo I'm a lecturer in FE in Staffordshire

ArkadyRose Thu 29-Aug-13 23:14:18

Fancies Having had a couple of mmc at 6 weeks, one at 10 weeks & one at 12 weeks, it's been my experience that the later the mc occurs, the longer it takes for the first AF after to happen. The farther along you are, the higher the levels of hcg, so the longer it'll take for the levels to drop to zero.

I just got back from spending a couple of days in Sussex with friends and it seems today is ov day - right-sided mittelschmertz (it was on the left last month), masses of ewcm and just for fun and fancy I tried an opk this evening and got a very definite positive. So of course DP's asthma is playing up this evening and he's not feeling up to dtd! sad On the other hand we've been dtd every other day since AF finished, including Saturday & Monday, and hopefully he'll be up for it tomorrow morning. We've decided to keep on dtd every couple of days until either AF arrives or I get a BFP (just in case I do ov twice as we suspect I did last cycle). I have good feelings for a Sept BFP!

ArkadyRose Thu 29-Aug-13 23:16:45

Oh, and I got back to an email from a small brewery in Hackney who want to know if I'd be up for a mead-making collab - so I may be getting a job as professional mead-mazer to a brewery and able to sell my mead! smile

fod27 Thu 29-Aug-13 23:49:34

Good for you ark!! Fancy being paid to do something you enjoy xxxx

Penguinita Fri 30-Aug-13 00:10:13

Great news about the BFPs! Here is a bucketload of fish slaps for everyone not following the rules!

Re the erratic temps - I did a little experiment the other day. I woke up at 5am whilst i had af (thinking there was a burglar in the house, neurotic mad woman, woke up DH too, he was not pleased!) and took my temp; it was about what i expected. Dozed for another couple of hours, took it again at my normal time and it had shot up a whole 0.8 degrees. So I think it really does make a difference whether you have been properly asleep or not.

I've also noticed that drinking the night before messes it up!

Bezza2508 Fri 30-Aug-13 07:22:42

If I haven't been sleeping properly then my temp is all over the place penguin. Yesterday it was up at 36.8 after a rubbish sleep and today it's back down at 36.4. After I've been drinking its been known to go above 37!

fedupofrainydays Fri 30-Aug-13 08:04:39

Anyone POAS?

aly what is going on? Has af turned up properly or are you POAS today??

Congrats badhair great news for the single tubers. Although I have both and no joy. Perhaps this month!

alyant79 Fri 30-Aug-13 08:49:42

af turned up properly today so no POAS for me today. any other takers?

ark that's exciting about the professional mead making. I hope it works out. How exciting.

fancies my AF turned up 3 weeks after my erpc, but that was an erpc 4 weeks after a failed medical management so not quite the same situation.

what's FE fod?

hmm bezza i haven't noticed my temp go up after drinking - obviously i'm not drinking enough! I'll have to increase my consumption if i want to get pg this cycle wink

sundance is there any way that you could get the gp to refer you for an early scan? (mine told me to come straight to them when if i ever get upduffed again). OR could you self refer to the EPU?

fedupofrainydays Fri 30-Aug-13 08:54:24

sad to af aly

fod27 Fri 30-Aug-13 09:10:58

Sorry FE is Further Education (colleges)

alyant79 Fri 30-Aug-13 09:15:15

Aahhhh fod it all becomes clear. i should know, but i'm not british so that's my excuse

Emki Fri 30-Aug-13 09:47:08

Boo for AF aly really sorry - let's drink loads and only dtd once!!! ( ahhhhhh) it will be our month ladies!! Get the wine in! X

fedupofrainydays Fri 30-Aug-13 10:12:48

I haven't drunk all week so better get back on it...

alyant79 Fri 30-Aug-13 10:22:04

alright you ladies who got pg after one drunken shag session - when was it in relation to ov day? do you know?

Emki Fri 30-Aug-13 10:57:46

As you asked .... With dd we dtd twice: once the morning I got positive on OV stick and once the following morning or night. No alcohol - maybe a glass of wine the night before - 2nd pregnancy (mc1) dtd once when got positive on OV stick. Third pregnancy (mc2) Christmas time so lots of alcohol and dtd twice after getting positive on OV stick! ...... Therefore why am I now insisting we do it everyday??? Project desperate and I've gone very slightly nutty!

fod27 Fri 30-Aug-13 11:24:11

Ahhh I see aly apparently when you ov it makes you incredibly horny so everytime I got knocked up it was when I instigated sex... Hope that helps

Tomkat79 Fri 30-Aug-13 12:05:20

Congrats badhair awesome news.

Ok aly this all according to my period tracker app...day 1 fertile was cd11. I was a little annoyed at always having to tell DH when fertile so I didn't bother this month. I worked on the assumption that he knew when AF was and could bloody well take some responsibility for our fertility! Anyway, we didn't DTD until cd16 which is when a little ovulation flower appeared on the calendar and i got v drunk at a wedding reception lol. Of course the app could be totally wrong but I fell preg the same way in March. It bases all the timings from my AF cycles over the last year.

What is odd though is I tested on cd 26 as got symptoms and cbhpt said BFP 2-3 weeks?

What I do know though is that I had to relax more as was getting silly. Girly goo monitoring and temping was in full swing back in June and the pressure was t

Tomkat79 Fri 30-Aug-13 12:06:18

Too much xx

Tomkat79 Fri 30-Aug-13 12:11:55

Oh and I dyed my hair from dark brown to white blonde!! Maybe that helped (hmm)

fedupofrainydays Fri 30-Aug-13 12:36:39

Apparently ov makes you more attractive to men too.... Not sure that works with my DH! Possibly because he is too knackered from dtd before that point!

fedupofrainydays Fri 30-Aug-13 12:38:43

According to period tracker I should be getting jiggy with it now... Cd 6!

alyant79 Fri 30-Aug-13 13:53:38

i need to trust my body more. i like that friskiness = ov and it did work for me in the past, both time i got pg.
But my two months of ov sticks led me to believe that actually i ov a few days after friskiness has passed, which in turn got me all worried.
perhaps that was my body being all screwy post-mc or ov sticks are a lying waste of money

Right, this month is chilled month. i'm not even going to temp. <<gasp>>

cosmickitten Fri 30-Aug-13 14:18:28

feeling very sad, tomorrow is my Dad's 60th. I've spents ages planning a party and making a fancy cake. But like all important events, I know how pregnant I should be..........it hurts.

I never thought 18 months ago when we were so excited to start a family, it would lead here. Sometimes hope is very very hard to hold on to. I think I need some positivity sending my way (though looking at the recent flush of BFP some booze might be better :-P).

Sorry to whine but one other bugger really understands!

cosmickitten Fri 30-Aug-13 14:19:48

one? no............ no one in my life gets it, not even DH sometimes. I'm meant to be 'over' it and hopeful!

fedupofrainydays Fri 30-Aug-13 14:49:38

cosmic I def get it. Certain 'milestones' keep passing for me. I should be on mat leave and due a baby on two weeks sad

aly I'm the same, my friskiness is before ov too according to my sticks but sometimes they do say peak fertility is actually pre ov!!

FacebookStoleMyLife Fri 30-Aug-13 15:35:28

Hi, I've been lurking reading your posts since my MC in June. It's been a massive help seeing what other ladies going through the same thing have to say and sharing the same madness (I POAS once after my period had started because I had slightly sore boobs, how's that for desperate). So thank you all for sharing what you've been through.

I really need some advice today because I'm driving myself insane. I've been symptom spotting this week so decided to POAS this morning (AF due Monday I think) and saw nothing. Decided to crack it open out of curiosity (I think I saw someone mention it on a site) and still saw nothing so bunged it in the bin. Came back later and fished it out (sad but true) and there was a faint pink line. Two more tests looked negative but when cracked open had very definite faint lines. Has anyone had this? Can they be the dreaded evap lines? Or are these tests just not meant to be broken open so they're being affected by the air??

I'm so terrified to get my hopes up after what happened last time so please tell me if I should just ignore these.

Emki Fri 30-Aug-13 16:07:16

cosmic I had tears in my eyes today when I had to explain about my mcs my first one was last July!! - this is not easy and people don't understand unless they've been there too.

facebook sorry you find yourself here and glad you're finding the chat on here helpful - I'm afraid I can't help re cracking open sticks ... If you can somehow wait till Monday to test again younger get a clearer answer ... Sorry probably not what you want to hear xx

cosmickitten Fri 30-Aug-13 16:21:33

Facebook I'm really really sorry that life has brought you here.

Re tests, I think waiting a trying in a day or 2 is the only way to get an answer. Which test are u using? Trying a more sensitive test is an option as waiting is so hard. Personally I suspect its more likely to be an evaporation line. But that doesn't mean a bfp won't show up soon xxx

FacebookStoleMyLife Fri 30-Aug-13 16:36:08

Emki and Cosmic thanks! I needed to hear some sensible thinking, you're absolutely right of course (I'm starting to see through the crazy hopeful fog), using ICs so should be pretty sensitive. Going away for a long weekend so I figure if I pack tons of tampons I can keep AF away until Tuesday (well she always turns up when I forget them so that's my logic)

Cosmic the big events are so hard, no one else understands the feeling that someone/a much wanted bump is missing. Have as much fun as you can though, booze definitely sounds like a plan and a big slice of that fancy cake you've been working on!

Bezza2508 Fri 30-Aug-13 17:11:20

We understand how hard it is Cosmic. I can't go to an bug 'events' at the moment without thinking about where I would have been in my pregnancy. My family is just full of babies as well which makes me want to avoid them but I know I can't do that forever.

Welcome facebook. Sorry you find yourself here. Fingers crossed you get your BFP soon. Is this your first month TTC after your MC?

Fancies40Winks Fri 30-Aug-13 17:19:19

cosmic I completely understand how you feel. I'm even dreading Christmas slightly because I could so clearly picture it with a nice bump, looking forward to my baby in March.

Thanks all for your help.

Bezza2508 Fri 30-Aug-13 17:19:30

Big event not bug event! I don't fancy the sound of a bug event :/

FacebookStoleMyLife Fri 30-Aug-13 17:42:17

Thanks Bezza, it's my first proper month after the extended WTF cycle

Fancies I know exactly what you mean, that was a strong picture in my head too

fod27 Fri 30-Aug-13 18:58:43

cosmic I completely understand, when I talk about our loss people might as well roll their eyes! It makes me so angry because they will never get it! They can't understand how long and drawn out the healing process is both emotionally and physically and everytime you see a bump or a newborn you want to punch the mother in the face!

At least here we all understand... We stand together and help each other through all the shit and when BFPs do arrive I don't think that there will ever be a group of people so genuinely happy and supportive due to all that shared pain and agony xxxx

cosmickitten Fri 30-Aug-13 19:55:27

fod For me the kicker is the lack of understanding. The just get over it attitude, please paper over being sad 24/7 its easier for us vibe......from friends and family.

I love bfp's on here, your so right, the sharing the downs makes sharing the ups so much sweeter x

ArkadyRose Fri 30-Aug-13 20:37:09

I don't think I've ever wanted to punch a mother in the face just because they had a child and I'd lost mine. Frequently wanted to run away and hide, and perhaps punch in the face the people who couldn't understand that or make allowances for it.

Bezza2508 Sat 31-Aug-13 08:31:35

You're completely right Cosmic. I've had lots of support but I already feel like people wish I wasn't sad because it would be easier for them. I miscarried just over a month ago for gods sake- the sadness doesn't go away overnight!

fod27 Sat 31-Aug-13 16:59:23

For me it's the anger, my sister drank and smoked throughout her entire pregnancy and went full term.. That injustice makes me want to lash out! But I'm only human at the end of day

alyant79 Sat 31-Aug-13 21:10:06

I get angry too fod. but not so much any more - it was worse a few months ago

fod27 Sat 31-Aug-13 21:52:42

For me it's the anger, my sister drank and smoked throughout her entire pregnancy and went full term.. That injustice makes me want to lash out! But I'm only human at the end of day

ArkadyRose Sat 31-Aug-13 22:22:59

I'm reminded of something said by Marcus in Babylon 5, about how he used to get angey over how unfair the universe was. And then he thought how much worse it would be if the universe were fair, and all the bad things happened to us because we deserved them, and he was actually rather comforted that the universe was unfair. I think I feel the same way; yes, it's unfair we've all been through this loss while other seemingly undeserving women got to keep their babies. But we know our losses were not our fault; we did not deserve them. There's a comfort of a sort in that.

Then again, considering my family history, I guess I'll take comfort where I can find it.

Sal1977 Sat 31-Aug-13 22:43:51

I don't get angry, I just worry that I'll never get to be a mum. sad

fedupofrainydays Sat 31-Aug-13 22:55:04

bezza I think that too. They want me to be over it so its easier for them. They miss me, the happy, funny one who instigated and led their social activity. And now I'm sad and don't really want to hang out with a bunch of pregnant people they are a little lost without their chief organiser and someone to rally the troops so to speak. I feel selfish but then. I think they are selfish for there reasons for wanting me to be my usual self again for their sake.

fedupofrainydays Sat 31-Aug-13 22:56:20

Terrible grammar. Sorry. Tired, must sleep!!

Misspositivity Sat 31-Aug-13 23:49:57

fod. I hear you. If babies were given out ranking by who deserved them first then oh what a better world this would be. Sadly not the case.
sal. I have a good feeling for you. Your time will come. Your just waiting for a special one xx

I met one of my Dd friends mum at nursery. Due same day as I was 15 sep. I wished her good luck but as I turned the sadness was over whelming, why me ? Why twice? I felt guilty for being jealous but do you know what I don't know her story maybe she was on this thread at a time......

misschord Sun 01-Sep-13 00:36:07

Arkady, when my baby girl died, one of my favourite comments left by a friend on FB was that when tragedy strikes, he tries to remember that life is often wonderful, sometimes shit, but always, always unfair.

cosmickitten Sun 01-Sep-13 00:42:01

sal yes the fear, of never ever being a mum :-( it is soul crushing at times.

fedupofrainydays Sun 01-Sep-13 08:36:05

You know how we were talking about ov and body symptoms? Well I had loads of ewcm and felt like dtd on Friday (cd6) and was still bleeding a bit from period too. Didnt dtd as DH was out but did on sat morn. Forgot to opk but did this morn cd 8 and was smiley. This so too early surely? Too early for eggs to have matured and lining built up??? FFS means will get af half way through holiday too instead of just a bit at the end sad

Bezza2508 Sun 01-Sep-13 08:45:54

I think we are allowed to be selfish at times fedup, although I don't think we are actually bring selfish! I am just trying to look after myself and not be such a people pleaser all the time. I'm not sure about the positive opk. Do you temp as well so you can see if you actually do ovulate or if is just a rise in LH and you will actually ovulate later in the month?

sal I am sure you will be a mum, we all will. Where are you with your referral for tests now?

fedupofrainydays Sun 01-Sep-13 09:21:35

That's true bezza. Nope, don't temp as always forgot and am a crap sleeper which isn't great. So I guess I might not ov til later but think I do ov around day of opk as signs show it..

I'm going to get drunk today and lure DH to drunken sex somewhere inappropriate. Might be a challenge as he's out with friends but will try!!

Misspositivity Sun 01-Sep-13 09:37:53

fedup. Keep up the BD until you are sure. I often get two lh surges and just one temp rise to show I have ovulated.

fedupofrainydays Sun 01-Sep-13 09:57:35

Ok... Thanks miss p. didnt realise two surges was possible!

Misspositivity Sun 01-Sep-13 10:10:53

Apparantly your body gears up to ovulate and then for some reason dosen't and does it later. Also consultant told me never to use FMU for opk as can give false poss for opk. Clearblue digital tell you to use FMU so not sure about whether ok for those ones.

Wickedwiggle86 Sun 01-Sep-13 10:12:25

Hello, I was wondering if I can join in? I had a laparoscopy last week for an ectopic pregnancy at 5w4d and lost my left tube. For obvious reasons had to leave the due date thread as I didn't want to bum everyone out and have been feeling a little lost ever since; it's difficult trying to find a thread I can fit into but you ladies seem very friendly so I'm hoping you'll have me!

fod27 Sun 01-Sep-13 10:26:02

wicked please do join in and share, moan etc etc sorry that your brought here under such difficult circumstances. everyone is very supportive, I wasn't sure I could face people, work or anything after my loss but being and to share my worries and pain with people that understand and everyone in RL had "moved on" really helped

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sun 01-Sep-13 21:36:53

Hello everyone <<waves>>

Back from our holiday and as expected AF arrived. So blood and misery instead of a 30-week bump. We came home to the news of another family pregnancy and it has hit me really hard TBH. The EDD is looming large on the horizon (late Oct/early Nov) and I am most definitely having a bad day today. There were even tears in Next when I attempted to buy a gift for DB’s baby, due December. Crying a lot today. DH told me to ‘let it go’. If only it were that easy sad

Oh, aly, what an awful way to spend your EDD. You poor thing, <<hugs>> So sorry your AF arrived. However, I do think the GP saying that you are due some bad luck as you had fell pregnant easily in the past is bullshit. Now I am no statistician, but that sounds like utter nonsense to me...surely the fact that you have fallen pregnant quickly in the past makes you MORE likely to conceive easily again. Bad luck isn’t handed out fairly by some omnipotent being. Daft GP.

The rollercoasterness of TTC rang a bell with me. It’s amazing how a single number in the morning can completely foretell the day’s mood. Huge amounts of posifrickinivity due to a high temperature, followed by a crushing negativity caused by a faint PMS-type twinge. And even the first day of AF, there is a niggling ‘is this an IB?’ even though you KNOW in your heart it isn’t.

cosmic, the whole events things gets to me too. This is when I should be x weeks etc. And I have a constant reminder with poor DSIL’s pregnancy as I always know I should be x weeks ahead. And although I am thrilled for them, it breaks my heart a little every time, too.

Fod, great news from your scan! And fantastic news from sundance and tomcat grin Oh, and badhair too! So many BFPs, about bloody time!

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sun 01-Sep-13 22:46:46

had blush

cosmickitten Sun 01-Sep-13 22:55:29

You guys are great! thank you for putting up with my mini breakdown. It turns out a baby shower, big family do and birth announcement all in one day is my tipping point!

I thought I was more ok with it all than it turns out I am. I m still sad re misscarriage and scared of never having a baby. Having a safe place to vent those feelings is amazing,so than you all xxxxx

Feeling much less morbid and starting to feel a flicker of hope for the future. It may take time, it may not be how we'd hoped but we will make a family.

I'm a bit ashamed that my pity party meant I missed bad hair's exciting news. So a late but heartfelt congratulations :-)

Badhairday76 Mon 02-Sep-13 08:26:15

Hi ladies

Am afraid I have devastating news to share. Unfortunately my pregnancy was another ectopic so had emergency surgery to remove the 6 week old foetus and my remaining tube on Saturday night. Am now infertile with no tubes left so will be leaving this thread but didn't want to just disappear from this thread without saying goodbye. You are a lovely bunch of ladies and I've really appreciated the support of this thread throughout the last 8 months. Thank you. Luckily my tube didn't rupture this time so am hoping I'll physically recover from surgery a bit quicker this time but obviously the mental healing will take time. I've been told we can try for IVF because I still seem able to conceive so we will pin all our hopes on that for now. And get saving up our cash, obviously. Seaside and Over - it is relatively rare to lose both tubes to ectopic pregnancy but somebody needs to make up the shitty end of the statistics so am sure you guys will go on to have healthy pregnancies.

I want to wish all of you all the luck in the world that you go on to have your much wanted babies and to thank you again for your kindness.

Sarah xxx

alyant79 Mon 02-Sep-13 08:51:35

oh badhair i'm so so so so sorry sad
what awful news.

NerdyBird Mon 02-Sep-13 08:53:38

Oh Sarah, so sorry to hear that. I hope you are taking care of yourself, lots of big hugs to you. Xxx

ArkadyRose Mon 02-Sep-13 08:59:13

So very sorry for you, Sarah. sad I really hope IVF does the trick for you - no chance of the NHS funding it where you are? I know NHS IVF is a real postcode lottery. hmm Sorry we're losing you in such a way. sad

katatonic Mon 02-Sep-13 10:00:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Mon 02-Sep-13 10:00:17

Oh Sarah sad. You must be heartbroken. I am so very sorry and I wish you all the luck in the world with IVF.

triplespin Mon 02-Sep-13 10:37:15

Sarah so sorry to hear that. Good luck with IVF. I hope you have good support in RL.

Misspositivity Mon 02-Sep-13 11:10:55

badhair. What gutting news. I am truly so sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourself and I wish you so much luck with IVF. Xx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 02-Sep-13 11:24:34

<<Gives BadHair the biggest squishiest but not to squeezy fat bird hug>>
That's IVF is still a glimmer of hope. Take care. xxxx

Bezza2508 Mon 02-Sep-13 12:37:59

Oh badhair, I am so sorry to hear your news. I hope you are being well looked after and I wish you all the luck in the world with your IVF. Take care xxx

Tomkat79 Mon 02-Sep-13 13:10:28

So so sorry Sarah to read your news. Wishing you a speedy recovery. Good luck with the IVF xxx

SeasideLily Mon 02-Sep-13 14:24:46

Sarah I'm so sorry, that's just awful. I was told if I lose my other tube we're an ivf dream because we're fertile other than the tubes, so I dearly wish you a speedy recovery and a quick and successful round of ivf. My friend lost both tubes and now has a 3 year old and twins, so this is most definitely not the end of the road for you, nor for me if it happens again. It's a heartbreaking speedbump. Take care of yourself, xxx

badhair I am so sorry to hear your sad news, actually brought tears to my eyes reading it. How utterly heartbreaking for you to have to go through something so horrendous all over again. sad

I really, really, really hope that IVF does go ahead for you and works out for you.

I am so grateful for all the messages and advice you gave me when I was going through my ectopic/tube removal - you were so lovely and supportive. flowers Thank you so much. xxx

Wishing you all the luck and happiness in the future.


JBrd Mon 02-Sep-13 15:38:40

BadHair So sorry to hear your devastating news, how heartbreaking. Wishing you a quick recovery, be kind to yourself. And every possible luck for the future, whatever path you decide to take! thanks

Badhairday76 Mon 02-Sep-13 15:45:22

Thank you everybody. I'm all cried out now and feel
strangely calm about it at this moment. Over and Seaside, although what happened to me is rare, I would urge you both to get your remaining tube checked out just in case. The EPU doctor told me that secondary ectopics are more common if the other tube ruptured before it was removed and that they are seeing more and more of them, particularly in ladies over 35. i think you are both younger than me and am not sure if you ruptured but i now really regret not insisting on having my tube looked at after my first one. lMy doctor told me to check mine out back in Feb but I wanted to 'try' first of all. My surgeon said she couldn't see any damage in the tube she took out on Sat but that my March miscarriage was probably another early ectopic which blocked it. We are devastated but have just been reading about IVF. I can't yet accept that this is the end. Thanks again everybody for your kindness xxx

fod27 Mon 02-Sep-13 17:28:23

Oh Sarah this is just horrific! My thoughts are with you and my heart goes out to you. Xxx wishing you all the luck in the worlds and more than anything u hope you have supprt in RL xxxx

cosmickitten Mon 02-Sep-13 18:12:32

Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear your awful news. You and your dp are very mich in my thoughts.

When you are ready, Fertility friends is a wonderful supportive forum for all the steps involved with assisted conception. The ladies there can offer lots of first hand information about local clinics, great Doctors and how to handle the costs. Mumsnet is all kinds of wonderful but earlier this year the large amount of local information on fertility friends helped us choose a fertility clinic that felt right for us.

Penguinita Mon 02-Sep-13 18:16:22

So very sorry to hear that Sarah. Don't accept that this is the end - it really isn't, you have several options left that mean you can still have a lovely happy family. Just make sure you take time for yourself to readjust and recover.

And thanks for sharing such great advice with us - hopefully someone now or in the future will read this thread and something positive can come out of your sad experience. thanks

fedupofrainydays Mon 02-Sep-13 19:26:27

Oh Sarah that's such sad news. But like the others say... I'm glad you are exploring ivf options and I'm sure you will grow your family very soon.
And thank you for sharing your advice with us all. It can't be easy doing that but current and future readers of this thread are so appreciative of it. Thank you.
Take care of yourself xxxx

Wickedwiggle86 Mon 02-Sep-13 22:32:14

Sarah, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you and your OH are as well as can be under the circumstances. I've only just joined so didn't get a chance to get to know you, but I want to thank you for sharing what happened... I only had my tube removed last week and to be honest I don't recall them telling me anything about the state of my remaining tube. I have been worrying about it ever since and your advice has encouraged me to get it looked into properly. Good luck with the IVF and best wishes for the future, I have my fx for you xxx

Sundance2007 Tue 03-Sep-13 09:32:04

Oh Sarah, you have been through so much already you poor thing, I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling but please know that I/we are thinking if you, and that I'm sure everyone is wishing you get your IVF baby soon.
When your baby finally gets to you, just think how much more special it will be knowing how bloody hard you fought to get there.
Big hugs x

alyant79 Tue 03-Sep-13 16:55:11

two days without taking my bbt.... i miss my stats graph!

HAs anyone else had really light periods since their mc?? I misused Dr Google yesterday and am now freaking myself out about what's wrong with me. Presumably i'm fine, but.... but.....

triplespin Tue 03-Sep-13 17:50:35

aly same here. AF is a lot lighter but more painful than before mc.

cosmickitten Tue 03-Sep-13 18:19:56

aly I've only had a couple of periods the first was super heavy and the second very light. So not really enough to make a judgement.

I'm guessing that Ashmerman's syndrome turned up from dr google. I got very worried post erpc after a google session when that came up. I'm sure you've nothing to worry about but if continues maybe get it checked to put your mind to rest.

katatonic Tue 03-Sep-13 18:36:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofrainydays Tue 03-Sep-13 19:21:32

Mine were too aly and freaked out about ashermans too but have gradually got heavier again..
Mine were also way more painful... And still are.

Bezza2508 Tue 03-Sep-13 19:52:07

Aly I've only had one AF post MC but it was lighter than usual (although way more painful!)

Congratulations Kat. Great news!

alyant79 Tue 03-Sep-13 20:08:47

Thanks guys. Will try not to worry.

Great news kata!! Woohoo smile

Sal1977 Tue 03-Sep-13 20:49:34

Mine too Aly. It's normally 3-4 days with 1-2 fairly heavy days. Now it's fairly light and goes on for like 8-9 days!! I feel like I've been bleeding and spotting all year!!!

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 03-Sep-13 20:56:28

Brilliant news kat smile

triplespin Tue 03-Sep-13 21:10:45

kat great news. So lovely to hear news that all is going well! If you are still around I wanted to ask you about Chinese herbs as I remember you we're taking them. I went to see someone this week and was told that I should wait another 3 months before we start trying and I should take the herbs in the meantime. I was surprised to hear that and obviously we don't want to wait another 3 months and I was wondering if you were advised something similar?

Bezza2508 Tue 03-Sep-13 21:16:31

triple are you seeing an accupuncturist by any chance? Mine has advised me to wait three months before trying again and I really don't want to either.

triplespin Tue 03-Sep-13 21:43:06

bezza this was a traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) practitioner. Incidentally I also saw an accupuncturist separately few wks ago but he did not mention anything about 3 month wait (haven't gone back to him as he basically saidthat there wasn't anything about my cycle apart from mc that indicated a problem - as of now ).

katatonic Tue 03-Sep-13 22:00:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alyant79 Tue 03-Sep-13 22:34:42

The old advice from doctors used to be to wait at least 3 months too. I think it's more mental than anything else. And they used to think that waiting might help prevent another mc but that's been shown to be rubbish.
Interesting how so many of us now have screwy periods. It's obviously normal to be abnormal.
I've started taking a cocktail of supplements instead of just a generic ttc supplement. It's an attempt to thicken my womb lining. Nothing special, but I felt like I need more iron and b6 in addition to folic acid. This month's project desperate

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 04-Sep-13 06:14:02

Morning. Just caught up with the news in the last few pages. I'm so sorry for the lost badhair. Nothing I can say can make it right. All the best in finding a good fertility clinic and best of luck with IVF.

katatonic that's great news with the 8 week scan.

On my side, I have the BBT rise yesterday. So the BD week is over. Because the silly CBFM declared day 8 to be high this cycle, we started on the day, every other day. Now 10 days later DH is exhausted. I'm thinking I should still BD another time just in case, but will wait 3 days instead. Advice is 3 days a week isn't it? So sometimes it could be 3 days instead of 2 surely?

I craved a bag of crisps yesterday. Is that an early pregnancy symptom?

Hi all, may I join you? I had my MC at 9 weeks on 12 August (after nearly two years of TTC - grrr). Have been very fortunate that it was a complete MC so after the initial couple if days of hideousness, bleeding thereafter was just like a period and over in a week.

Was going to follow advice and have a break until after my next period, but clearly missed POAS and started with the OPKs mid cycle - just to check that I was returning to normal and ovulating when I should! Also had an unexpected surge of horniness a couple of days pre ovulation which is very uncharacteristic, So it looks like we are now straight back to TTC.

Has anyone else started TTC without waiting for your first post MC period? Are there any real risks ( apart from not being able to date accurately, which I don't think is a risk at all).

fedupofrainydays Wed 04-Sep-13 07:40:04

Hi yorkshire sorry you find yourself here, particularly after 2 years ttc.

I don't think there are any real risks as I asked the doctor at my erpc if there was any medical reason why we couldn't try before next period and she said no.
So I don't think it's risky but it might just not happen if the body isn't ready. I guess it's clever (although v annoying for us) like that as wont carry a baby unless its ready. If you can hack the emotional side of not getting preggers straight away then go for it. Starting to wish I had waited a bit now 6 months down the line... But there is always the chance it would happen straight away so I quite impressed with anyone who can wait!!

NerdyBird Wed 04-Sep-13 08:43:26

Morning all

AF for me today. At least she's punctual. I think I am fairly settled on a 35 day cycle, now just need to know if I am ovulating. I thought I had a surge this month, but it may not have been enough. So I have decided to start temping and took it this morning - 36.6. Not sure if that's normal!

This period feels light, and my last one was too. I think the one before that was 'normal' though.

Just to make today even more fun, I have a touch of cystitis and a bit of constipation too. Delightful!

Have appointment with acupunturist this evening though.

triplespin Wed 04-Sep-13 08:51:46

Kat I went to london accu on harley street - but probably they were basing this on my history i.e. fell pregnant on cycle #1 and cycle #2 respectively last two times. My herbs are arriving today in the post, but its good to know that you were able to concieve in the meantime anyway. I was worried that if I take the herbs, they may even stop me from conceiving in those three months (when I am not supposed to be trying !).

OLTT good you are through ! We are still in the midst of it - CD 13 and still a negative on OPK - am hoping all is done and dusted by the weekend so I can start the horrendous 2ww, but at least there is no pressure to DTD !

triplespin Wed 04-Sep-13 09:03:06

nerdy boo to AF arriving.

Re your question - the absolute level of your BBT is not relevant - as this can vary from individual to individual and what time of the day you took the tempature. It is more the pattern (or relative change you observe) that can be used to track ovulation that you should look out for.

NerdyBird Wed 04-Sep-13 09:46:41

Thanks triple
I really need to read about it again. I looked at it a few months ago but decided not to do it then so it's all gone out of my head!

Struggling a bit to stay positive, just feels like I will never get pregnant at this rate sad

triplespin Wed 04-Sep-13 10:47:08

aww nerdy I understand what you mean. How many months TTC are you post MC? I am only 2 months on and already feel its never going to happen. Treat yourself to something nice today - that's what I always do when AF arrives smile

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 04-Sep-13 10:51:11

I'm feeling it will never happen to me too. This is my last cycle before one year anniversary to TTC. I will also be 39 in October. Funny a year ago, I thought I would give it a try for a year and give up when the EDD will take me to 40yo. Now I don't feel like I want to give up yet!

alyant79 Wed 04-Sep-13 12:59:43

welcome yorkshire, sorry that you find yourself here sad
I don't think that there's any medical reason to wait for your first AF, so if you feel mentally prepared then go for it.
We didn't bother waiting. didn't get pg though (and still haven't, 6 months down the track).

Boo to AF nerdy. Regularity is a good thing though. Temping sounds like a good plan - that's why I started too, just to check that I really was ovulating. It was very satisfying to see the temp jump.
As triple said it's the pattern that's important. I tend to see a gradual decrease in temp until just before ov when it's hits a low. Then it jumps up overnight but doesn't hit a peak high for a few days. Then it stays high until just before AF arrives.

OLTT i'm almost on the same timeline as you. After this cycle (and i'm away from DH when i ov) i've only got 1 more before my 1 year ttc anniversary. BOO) HISSSS!!!!! If you turn 39 in October you've still got a few months up your sleeve before your EDD would be when you're 40. Be positive smile

DDMF i'm sorry that AF arrived for you too. She's such a bitch.

Bezza2508 Wed 04-Sep-13 13:12:23

Welcome Yorkshire. Sorry for your loss, especially after 2 years TTC. i don't think there's any harm in trying again once you have stopped bleeding. That's what I was told after my ERPC.

Sorry AF had arrived Nerdy.

I have one month until my 1 year anniversary of TTC too. It's took 8 months to conceive the first time and then MC at 12 weeks so that has taken a good few months out of the equation. This is the first month TTC after MC though so trying not to think about the one year thing as that is just more pressure!

SeasideLily Wed 04-Sep-13 13:17:36

Mu acupuncturist told me to wait 3 months too - I bargained her down to 2 months, and was happy to do that because my periods and emotions were all over the place.

My mum also keeps urging me to check my other tube, but the hospital told me that it can cause more harm than good? I.e. it can block an otherwise healthy tube, so they only do it in extreme cases. I don't know how more extreme it needs to get...What did they advise you OLTT?

Sorry AF arrived nerdy. Just coming to the end of mine. They're normal for me, but annoying - heavy for a day, then pathetically light and refuse to go away. My acupunturist says my energy flow isn't right...

NerdyBird Wed 04-Sep-13 19:53:31

Thanks all for the info about temping. I will look out for a pattern.

This cycle (september) will be cycle 4 i think. MC was early april, and first AF arrived mid/late may so we started again after that. When i started in january i thought i'd be fine if it took a year to get pregnant, but miscarriage changed that. Now i really want to be pregnant by EDD which was early Nov. I know i'm putting the pressure on myself but it's hard not to.

I'm just off to my first acupuncture appt now, so i'll let you how i get on.

Bakingtins Wed 04-Sep-13 20:01:13

Hi everyone. I'm a veteran of several of the previous threads, there are still a few names I recognise on this one. We've had a few months off TTC after 4th miscarriage in June, but I now finally have a diagnosis (high NK cells) and a treatment plan so we are going to have one final where have I heard that before shot. Currently on day 6 so bonkathon next weekend by my reckoning. Buckle up for the TTC roller coaster....

Tomkat79 Wed 04-Sep-13 20:15:56

Nice one tins, do you feel better having a diagnosis? Sorry to be ignorant but what do high NK cells actually mean? X

ArkadyRose Wed 04-Sep-13 20:37:58

After mc at 6 weeks last September, we didn't wait and I got a bfp on the next cycle. Unfortunately that was the one I lost at 12 weeks in Jan, but I don't think not waiting had anything to do with the mc.

I'm now in the 2ww. I got a new kitten yesterday so I'm hoping she'll distract me during the wait![gri

DragonyOldClothCatPuss Wed 04-Sep-13 21:26:19

Baking I am SOOO pleased to see you back here! Good luck lovely lady. xxxxx

Nice to see you back, baking. I remember you. Wishing you lots of good luck. smile x

Welcome to all the new people too grin x

fedupofrainydays Wed 04-Sep-13 22:12:36

I remember you too baking so pleased you have a diagnosis and a plan. I also don't know what Nk cells are?

alyant79 Wed 04-Sep-13 22:22:57

Welcome back tins! SOOO glad that you have a diagnosis and treatment plan. I really really really hope that it works. I'm guessing from the high nk cells that your body is rejecting the embryo as foreign? Do you have to suppress your immune system in some way? Or am I barking up the wrong tree?
In any case, good luck!

Bakingtins Wed 04-Sep-13 22:25:16

Natural killer cells. They're a normal part of your immune system and involved in allowing implantation. If you have too many in your uterus it can cause recurrent miscarriage (controversial theory!) I'll be treated with a combination of steroids, progesterone and heparin if I can get pregnant again.
Even if it doesn't work out it is better to have a diagnosis and to know we tried everything.

Sal1977 Wed 04-Sep-13 22:52:48

Ladies, can I ask your opinion before dr Google tells me I'm about to pop my clogs with something horrific..?

It's my first AF since the MC at 5-6 weeks (AF arrived bang on time) and I'm still spotting on CD9? Not quite sure if it warrants a trip to the docs or not. Or should I just see what the rest of this cycle does?

Sorry for being a paranoid tit!!

katatonic Wed 04-Sep-13 23:00:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JBrd Wed 04-Sep-13 23:02:12

Sal I wouldn't worry too much - the first cycle and AF after a mc is known to be all over the place. They don't call it the WTF cycle for nothing...

Sal1977 Wed 04-Sep-13 23:04:13

It's my first AF since the MC last month, so maybe the womb of doom (as we affectionately call it --fucking piece of crap equipment--) is having a clear out....

Sal1977 Wed 04-Sep-13 23:05:16

Humph....the crossy outty thing didn't work...

misschord Wed 04-Sep-13 23:37:00

I'm in the 2ww and feeling grumpy. My BBT seems to be alternating high and low, so haven't a clue what's going on! confused

Bezza2508 Thu 05-Sep-13 07:22:27

Welcome (back) bakingtins. Glad you have got a treatment plan in place, I really hope everything works out for you this time.

NerdyBird Thu 05-Sep-13 10:06:00

sal my first period after MC went on for a while, but after the first few days it was quite light. If you're still really heavy it might be worth ringing your dr or practice nurse. It stopped eventually and the next one came on time.

I went to see my acpuncturist last night. She was really nice and agreed that the main thing for me is to try and encourage ovulation, as my cycles are regular at the moment. She thought taking my temperature would help, if that's what I want to do. So I have another appointment in two weeks, ahead of my fertile time.

Acupunture itself was a bit wierd. She put pins in each ear, middle forehead, each wrist, ankle and thumb. One in my tummy too. The wrist and thumb ones really twinged, and I noticed my left ankle was puffed up at the end, but it could have been puffy before. It was nice to be able to lie down and relax though, I don't get a lot of that at home.

Have a good day everyone x

SeasideLily Thu 05-Sep-13 12:36:58

Welcome back baking, it's good to hear (read?) you feeling so positive - I'm glad you got some answers at last.

Some of the pins to tweak, don't they nerdy! It's bollocks people saying it doesn't hurt - some you can't feel going in, but every now and then one will be pretty damn sore. My acupuncturist is hilarious - she was in the Red Army for 15 years and is hard as nails, so she just laughs at me when I whinge! No pain no gain I guess...

So, I was told yesterday I might be offered a year long contract at my favourite magazine from Oct! So pleased - it's not confirmed yet, but if it is it means I'm bound to get pg in the next few months, just so the universe can make this maximumly awkward when I have to leave early! If I do, I really hope I don't upset them, as writing jobs are sooo thin on the ground in Scotland, particularly in my speciality, and I really like working for this magazine. But, it means I'll have a positive to hold on to for each of the first four months AF arrives from now - it's an extra month towards not pissing them off by having to leave to give birth.

Bezza2508 Thu 05-Sep-13 13:33:21

Nerdy, I agree they do hurt a bit. But I always feel relaxes afterwards and, as you say, it's nice to lie down for half an hour!

Great news about the job seaside. It's sold law that you will get upduffed now!

Bezza2508 Thu 05-Sep-13 13:34:19

*sod's law

Thank you all for the welcome. Glad to hear there is no real reason to wait. I thought it would be such a shame to waste my couple of days of being rampant (tis so very rare) and also thought it my be my body's way of saying that everything is back to normal. But I am trying to treat this as a bonus mount and will be back to TTC (and trying out my new CBFM) next month.

That hasn't stopped me trying to symptom spot though. Am now 8dpo and yesterday had really bad cramps, sore boobs and back ache. Cue mild hopefulness, but is probably an early indication of imminent AF. However, being as its Friday tomorrow, is 9dpo too soon to POAS?

Good luck with the new job seaside I agree with Bezza, nothing like making it a bit inconvenient to be pregnant right now for hastening on a BFP (having said that, when we we trying for DD I moved jobs after a year of fruitless TTC-ing and it took another 6 months - and a referral to the fertility clinic) to get that elusive BFP.

Nerdy how do you decide what specifically the acupuncture is going to treat? Do you talk to the therapist beforehand about what your problems are and they treat particular areas, or is there a general fertility enhancing routine that they do? I am considering reflexology (too much of a wuss for the pins) and was wondering what the approach might be.

alyant79 Thu 05-Sep-13 14:59:03

misschord fluctuating BBT in the 2ww sounds odd, it's meant to be more stable than pre-ov temps. Was it just one low day - in which case could be an implantation dip??

great job news seaside!