Is anybody currently trying for their first baby?(84 Posts)
Sorry if there's already a thread on this I couldn't find one.
I am 32, nearly 33 (gulp!) years old and have been trying for our first since June, although we messed that cycle up a bit so July is the first month of 'really' trying. We feel the time is right now as are settled into jobs (had a rough couple of years but came through it stronger) have no mortgage on our (small!) home and desperately want a child to bring into our lives.
Very, very broody at the moment and also a spring or early summer baby would fit beautifully with maternity leave! But I'd take a baby any time, any place!
Well i guess i am!! I am 35 (36 next month - bigger gulp than you!!) We got married a couple of months ago after 11 years together. We do have a mortgage and dh is out of work at the moment, but we do have savings and he needs to be back in work (any work!) by 6 months time. I feel other than the job thing that time is right. I have a good job with excellent maternity leave and don't want to leave it any longer. First month trying. Good luck to you!!
There is a wonderful thread here full of loads of lovely people who are all trying for babies it may be the perfect place for you. I have luckily enough got my first BFP for my very first baby, and your right <gulp>
I would like to join you ladies if you'll have me. I am 33 (another gulp) and have been trying since May with a very weird messed up cycle in May/June. Did everything at the right time this month so was hopeful but AF arrived right on schedule yesterday and as a result I am now feeling a bit sorry for myself. Would be great to have some buddies in the quest for a small person!
That happened to us last month Monstamio- it's horrible isn't it? Did you come off the Pill or anything like that? My AF was slow in appearing last month as well - it was on time but started with this weird browny discharge and I became convinced I was pregnant anyway. I wasn't!
So now I am praying it works this month and we have a baby born in April!
We are trying for our first (well, we will again...as soon as I've stopped bleeding). Had MC a bit over a week ago, after having tried for two years to get this first pregnancy. I'm 30. We do have a mortgage, but are both in work and house should be paid off before future sprog enters secondary school (if it goes on like this, it'll be paid off before future sprog can walk...<grrr>).
Don't care when baby comes, as long as the next ones actually puts a proper appearance in and decides to hang around. Best time for mat leave to start would be September, but any time of the year can be sorted.
Good luck, and enjoy yourself.
Me too, me too!!
Also 33 - nearly 34 - and we have sort of ttc for the last to months but DH has erectile dysfunction which complicates things.
Going to try to persuade him to use a turkey baster next month!! Eek.
thatssofunny sorry for your loss.
DH and I will be mortgaged till we are about 68 so decided not to wait!
I was on depo provera for 7 yrs and took 8 months to get af back - it arrived earlier this month so unlikely to be immediately regular.
Us too revoltingpeasant sorry to hear of your mc thatssofunny hope you have better luck with your next one (sorry i'm so new to this that i'm not sure that's the right thing to say! Its well meant in any case.....)
I'm trying too. I'm 24 and had a mc in June.
Thought I would come and join...
Also TTC #1 - I'm 24 been with DP 4 years. We are planning our wedding for middle of 2015 we said we would try up untill Jan/Feb time and if it hasn't happened put it on hold untill after the wedding.
I came off the implant beginning of May - nothing happened untill 12th July and I spotted for 3-4 days (sorry if TMI) but it wasn't even worth putting a liner in it was that light. Just looked like a couple of blobs of brown mucus for a few days. Tried to convince myself it was implantion but I've followed it up with a series of BFN's ... Do you think that could of been a period?
Also sorry to hear about other peoples misfortunes - After also having gone through a MC myself a few years ago - I know how heartbreaking it can be!!
Well ... Here's to the baby making and BFP's
Ohh I'll join! Amm ttc #1, and this will be my third month of trying. I'll get there eventually!!!
Can I join in too? I'll be 29 in a few weeks , my partner and I rent a house together and both work full time in secure jobs, so now is as good a time as any. I came off the pill last month and I've just tested positive for ovulation on the opks so I guess I'm on my 2 ww now! I've ordered some dip-stick cheapo sensitive preggers tests on eBay in case AF doesn't turn up, anyone know if they're any good?
Im 29 very very nearly the big 3-0 and have been married to DH just over a year. DH would have had kids years ago whereas i didnt feel ready, the last couple of months though things have started tp change with me. We decided to start trying for a baby last month but unfortunately one or two fallouts meant that the time passed and we missed our chance. This month is therefore our first month ttc and im just hoping that my husband isnt going to put to much pressure on us because he wants this more than anything and is expecting results straight away whereas i am more realistic and know this could take a while.
Good luck to us all and heres to 2014 babies
Hello ladies! Also TTC #1, I'm 33 and DP is 25 and we've been trying since March/April.
I came off the pill in March and, after my withdrawal bleed, my cycles have been 32, 31, 27 and (annoyingly) 37! I'm on CD2 of cycle 5. I've been trying not to get obsessed, although last month I did used some cheapie OPKs for some of the days, didn't get a positive though and no idea when/if I ovulated! I don't want to take the fun out of DTD whenever we feel like it, but I also would kind of like to know when our best chance is!
DP keeps telling me "it'll happen when it happens".....infuriating!
Thatssofunny so sorry to hear about your loss
Edward - I came off the pill a couple of years ago but for various reasons we put off ttc until now. So I thought I knew my cycles pretty well. But sod's law the minute we started to try for a baby I ended up being a week late and then when that one dried up had another period less than a fortnight later. Very very weird.
Still, this month is back to normal 29/30 days so that's something at least.
Darlingbuds if you've just tested positive on the OPKs then don't stop yet... you might not ovulate until a day or two after the positive and you don't want to miss that window if at all possible.
Ooh thanks monstamio I'll bear that in mind
Is anyone else finding that whenever the particular dates are for you to ttc, something comes up?
So far, we have had:
May: BIL and SIL decided to invite themselves to stay for a long weekend 10 days after we had moved house. So they were in the spare bedroom next door. DH not turned on by this....
June: Work trip which could not be cancelled on day 11-14 of cycle.
July: DH in minor car accident and knee hurting too much to do much.
August: just been asked by my dad if he can come stay that weekend, and as he helped us buy our house, I can't really say no!!!!
Is this just my crappy luck or what?
Can I join please?
I'm 34, DH is 32 and this will be the second month of 2-week waiting. We got married 7 weeks ago so started TTC in honeymoon.
I am a sensible normal person but have been symptom sporting like mad. I'm sure my body normally does all these things but now I'm super sensitive to every twinge, cramp and pant-snot. It's driving me insane.
Also my obsession with 'don't tell the bride' has been overcome with my obsession for 'one born every minute'. Anyone else weirdly enthralled by the agonising screams & blood?
PrincessKitKat are you me? Everything you just said apart from the married bit is happening to me at the moment! I just bought a basal thermometer (a new thing to obsess over) oh and my boyfriend has just come home from work and found my list of girls and boys names :O I have no explanation!
Hello! I'm 30, DH is 29. We've been married just over 2 years, rent our house and are both in secure jobs (DH currently in management training so hopefully with a rather nice promotion on the horizon). DH has been keen to start TTC for quite some time now but I've not been so sure. What tipped it was when a friend said to me "what are you waiting for?" and I couldn't think of a reason to keep putting it off! This is our first cycle trying and AF is due on Friday. I was determined to be laid back and not worry about symptoms, charting, OPKs etc, but I've been symptom spotting like crazy and can't help it! DH picked up some early tests today and I'm trying not to cave and take one now...
Good luck everyone!!
My AF is due the weekend too. As my periods were all over the place before I went on the pill, I found the opks really useful as there's only that small window of opportunity each month. Let the two week wait begin!
Hi, we've just started ttc for the first time- about to move into a beautiful house with a teeny mortgage & I have a good stable job with fantastic mat leave. My biggest concern- I'm 38 (GULP!!!!). We've waited so long as I've had to come off long term meds which potentially cause serious birth defects. I've been so careful to not get pregnant for years and now I'm desperate to get pregnant!
I'm going to be able to start testing on Saturday, but I have no symptoms, so it's not looking particularly likely... I MUST relax about this...
Revolting yes! My DH also feels under pressure to perform I do try to be sympathetic but i want to shriek, 'COME ON, I AM OVULATING!'
Nice to know there are 2 of us DarlingBuds!
I quite like doing the OPKs I got a huge pack of cheapies off amazon. Makes me feel like I'm doing something positive!
Edward yes, my finest moment may have been after DH car accident when my first two questions were, is the car okay and are you still up for tonight.
Not necessarily in that order.
Im currently TTC with not much luck soo far! Im only 21 but my lovely partner is 26 with a secure jobs and a beautiful apartment. AF is due in 2 days..everything crossed that is doesnt arrive!
Hi all I'm new to all this but 35 and currently TTC for 1st time. I came off the pill in April and at present could do with some advice please! I know that me and my partner have had regular sex during what should have been my fertile time this month. My period should be due Sat/Sun but on Monday I had some spotting and slight cramps. At this point I wondered & hoped it was maybe implant bleeding due to the timing but yesterday I had more like period type bleeding now today back to a very slight amount of spotting??? Any advice greatly appreciated!!
RevoltingPeasant you made me almost spill my morning coffee
nataaaaliee and EmJay Im due on Sunday ish and am also hoping it won't showup! I had some pinky mucus yesterday and have had AF style cramps past few days, really hoping its something to do with implantation and not the Evil Aunt. I found this info useful:
Sending good vibes to everybody hoping for BFP this month! I have 3 sensitive pregnancy tests and I'm just waiting til Monday, wish me luck
Loving this wee thread. Me and my partner too are trying to conceive, well will be shortly. Only decided to come off the pill last week! Cant wait.
Good luck Neecole if AF turns up the weekend it'll be my first one since coming off the pill. It's an as exciting time for us all
Thanks . Fingers crossed for you too!
Thanks for link darlingbudsofmay I will have a read think I may have to do a test, don't want the disappointment of a negative but if I don't do one I'll just wonder if I am! Good luck to you too!
Thats ok EmJay Also it's worth noting that on the link it says that the bleeding normally occurs when 4 weeks preg which confused me until I realised that they date your pregancy from your previous period, maybe I'm the only one but I totally just found this out! Weird huh? I'll be testing tomorrow with a sensitive (20mui) test from eBay as I also can't wait! Good luck to you too!
Ah interesting I didn't realise that either! I did read it and think well I can't be 4 weeks pregnant so there you go you're not the only one! Good luck with the test hope you get a positive
You too, cant wait til the morning now to do it. If its negative I'm not going to get down about it cos its our first month trying
Hi can I join in here TTC my first after 2 miscarriages one 2
Months ago fingers crossed for this to be lucky number 3. This is our first month trying, came off mini pill micronor and started trying straight away (I'm evidently not patient at all haha). This month we've just gone with flow to see what happens AF due tomorow but obviously not 100% sure of cycle yet.
Just got the all clear from the Dr to try after being tested for PCOS so we are very excited now . Feeling slightly nervous obviously after previous miscarriages but trying to not let it effect out exciment. So glad found you lovelies to keep us same out TTC journeys
good luck yinyang I had BFN on preg test this morning. If AF not here by Monday I'll do another
Ooh can I join, coming off pill in a couple of weeks to ttc no1. Am 26 and newlywed good luck to everyone.
Glad to hear you're not too downhearted about your BFN DarlingBud. Stay relaxed!
I stumbled across this lighthearted article last night... Made me think of all us TTCers...!
Hello all first timers! Sooo easy to get obsessed with this isn't it? If (big if!!!) my cycle is miraculously regular, we managed to dtd twice 3 days apart in my ovulation 'window'. Might try again tonight. I'll wait until af is due before testing. So hard to know what to do as last af was my first in 7 years, 7 months after coming off depo jab. So liklihood of cycle being regular is slim. So if/when af doesn't show up, its most probably because of irregular cycle.
Sorry for the ramble......
Hehe well reading that passed a few minutes! I've had more spotting today but only a tiny amount sorry if tmi. I've got 2 days til I'm due. Doodooodooh! - (that's me practising my fanfare should I get a bfp)
Can I please join? I am 27 and started ttc at the beginning of this month. My husband and I both feel it is now the time. Really excited and finding mumsnet super helpful although I am yet to figure out my exact ovaluation dates as this is my first month off thr pill. So until I get my AF it will be hard to pinpoint the dates!
Me and my hubby have been trying for our first baby and we got our BFP 6 days ago
I just love all the excitement on this thread with all of us embarking on something so scary but brilliant!!!
Good luck to you all x x x
Oh congrats writer!!
I have a dim question which might also be relevant to Darling - is it not true that pg tests don't work until you're about 4 weeks gone or more? Or not reliably, at least?
I always assumed you needed to wait the two weeks for AF and then if it didn't turn up, another ten days or so before poas.
Is that wrong??
I got my BFP the day before my period was due.
The Clear Blue tests are supposedly able to detect pregnancy 4 days prior to your period being due but I'm not sure how many women that actually works for.
Ooh thanks. I didn't realise they were so accurate!
When I took a test last Saturday morning (which was the day before my period was due) it came back as a negative. However, I tested again 7 hours later (long story) and it came back as positive!!!
How quickly things can change.....
Congrats Writer! Is this the first BFP for this thread?!
We are both really shocked at how quickly it has happened. I used to have the Mirena coil for my contraception and when I had it removed at the end of May I was warned it may take up to 6 months to be able to get pregnant, but we got pregnant our first month of trying. It came as a bit of a surprise
Congratulations writer! This is exciting!
revoltingpeasant I understand that your pregnancy dates from your last period so you probably would be 4 weeks pregnant around the time of your period....it's weird how they do this. Also a tip, I bought some cheapy extra sensitive tests from eBay from a company that supplies the nhs, or so they say. The normal ones available in shops detect around 50 mui but if you get ones that are sensitive to 10 or 20 mui you can do your test that little bit earlier if you're impatient
Congratulations writer !!! darlingbuds what is 'mui'? I have bought cheapy tests from wilkinsons but feel i may need to go cheaper still! I have one atm but am waiting until 7th aug when af is due (based on 28day cycle) seems ages away!!! Sure i will cave before then so think i might but some internet cheapies. Or poundland..
So, not sure (although pretty sure....) if i am way off the mark here, but last night just aftr tea, left side lower pain, and really quite bad nausea. Couldn't finish my wine!!! So, felt bad enough to go and lay on bed at 8.30. Couldn't read or look at MN. Fell asleep to be woken at 11pm when hubby came up. Still felt dodgy. Feeling better today but only just got going.
Common sense dictates that i'm just under the weather but even my husband asked this morning 'are you pregnant?' Unlikely but soooo easy to get a wee bit obsessed!!
I know you can get internet cheapies but didn't know Wilkinsons, (Nevermind Poundland!) do pregnancy tests too..
I got some right funny looks when I stocked up in Poundland.
They clearly thought I was mental with 10 pregnancy tests in my basket
Poundland - 1proper test for (you've guessed it!!) £1 or two tests 'strips' for £1.
I wonder if the 99p shops sell them too??
Hi guys can I ask a wee question as I'm unsure about all this ovulation and fertile days stuff lol. I came off the pill on Sunday and got my period on Tuesday, for it to come as quick as that is it a good sign?
Also, my partner suffers from delayed ejaculaton so it kind of only "happens for him" 1 in 3 or 4 times, just making me worry a bit. Does anyone else's partner have this? Read about the ol' turkey baster stuff but I think suggesting that to him would hurt his feelings.
Neecole I am having that same issue. I made a deal with DH whereby we spend this summer just shagging as and when we can around ovulation date. Then if by autumn it hasn't worked we use basters.
I put it like this: ttc is not romantic. It is a means to an end. Having all the pressure of coming inside etc doesn't help ttc or our love life. So, let's do this one kinda unpleasant clinical thing to get our bfp then go back to enjoying ourselves, as it takes the performance pressure off.
Would that work on him?
Hi Neecole and Revolting
It must be hard facing those issues. That's a good attitude to take though Revolting - sometimes being upfront is the best way to go. Also I imagine your realistic but compassionate approach will help your husband relax.
Me and my DH only had sex 3 times around ovulation time (3 times over the space of about 8 days I think) and it led to our BFP, so it can happen without the pressure of needing to have as much sex as possible.
Best of luck to you both x x
Nottalotta sorry for the late reply, you've probably found out since but mui is the unit they measure HCG the hormone detected in pregnancy tests, the more pregnant you are the higher the amount of hcg in your urine. The ones I bought on the Internet detect very early stages of pregancy and therefore the lower levels of HCG. I feel really dodgy too, my period is due today but hasn't shown, I've already caved in and done two cheapy tests, bfn so I'm going to wait a few more days. Good luck to you all x
Hi revolting and writer
It's not so much about the fact it's not very romantic it's more to do with his pride I think but suppose if it doesn't happen on its on then will have no choice but to suggest it to him. I kind of knew a bit about the problem but sat and looked through google more indepth and mega regretting it now! It's just made me feel terrible lol.
Is it something that is a bit of an issue in your relationship anyway? Or is it something quite openly discussed and dealt with?
How has your research made you feel terrible?? x
Hi all, think I might have to invest in some of these cheaper tests too! Which do people recommend?? My AF should be due today however I had some spotting followed by bleeding then more days of spotting earlier in week, hoped poss implant bleeding but then as I came of pill end of April resigned myself to it prob being AF early, couldn't take disappointment of negative test so didn't do one but today I feel v sad for no apparent reason feel on brink of tears and v tired so that's prob to do with hormones.
I got mine off eBay - about 10 of them for £4. They were just ones that I had to dip into my urine sample. There are absolutely loads of tests on eBay, I was spoilt for choice
Cheap and cheerful
Good luck getting your BFP x x
He always talks about how it makes him feel like a failure and that if it doesn't get better he thinks I will leave him which in turn makes the problem worse.
I read somewhere that because when he's emm going solo he can use fantasies where as when having sex he would be thinking about me which might not be good enough. Just made me feel a bit terrible even though he tries to reassure me that's not the case with us I just think he's saying it to make me feel better. I always act like it doesn't bother me but deep down it does.
I should stop googling stuff it always ends terribly haha
I read somewhere that because when he's emm going solo he can use fantasies where as when having sex he would be thinking about me which might not be good enough
- that can't have been nice to read
Can he ejaculate with masturbation then or is that a problem too?
A few days ago I was reading a really interesting thread about people using the Turkey Baster method and it was so interesting and the success rates were really high. I was surprised at how many women had conceived via that method.
Maybe you should start a new thread and ask for advice from people who have been there and done that?
I read the same thread and had the same reaction lol, Writer. Trying to persuade DP to try that next month.
And what's his reaction???
He can when he does it himself and most of the time if I do it for him, it's just so stressful it already was to begin with buy even more now we're ttc. I think I will start another thread. Thanks for the help
Was that to me, Writer? Umm, he totally didn't get it at first . Think he found it offensive to his masculinity/virility and thought it was totally unnecessary. I've explained it a bit more to him now though and he's promised to think about it. I said I'd like to have sex with a condom (better, I thought, than suggesting he came into a cup on his own) and then use a syringe to sort it out myself afterwards. Are you thinking about doing it too?
No. I'm already up-duffed, I'm just really curious about it
That's a good idea about using a condom - it will seem more natural I imagine?
I really hope it works for you x
Oh aye. Sorry Writer, I should have remembered that. Is everything ok then? I remember you had a worry or two. I trust you're ok now then?
I'm ok now I think
My breasts no longer look or feel like my own though and it is quite alarming
I had some persistent cramps yesterday and this morning but they have eased off now. I had a little "am I miscarrying?" wobble for a few hours but MN reassured me aches and pains can be normal as the womb changes shape etc. It got to the point where I was nervous whenever I went for a wee in case I saw any blood but nothing yet
Getting the BFP was the only fun part of this TTC lark - I have been nothing but worried and paranoid since
Neecole - yeah me and DH had a lot of those chats, about how he wasn't good enough or normal or something.
May I be quite frank, without offending you....?
I came to see those things my DH was saying as quite self indulgent. After a while, I just got pissed off. He had a certain medical issue (that's his case). I married him, because I love him and am not bothered about it. Now we want to make a baby. We both have stuff "wrong with" us that might hinder that. I have an odd cervix and am 34, not young! So I am going to do a bunch of boring and I undignified stuff to get around those issues, like finding my cervix, lying on the back with legs in air after sex, testing my wee for hormones, taking frolic acid every day - etc etc!!
So I figured he needed to just get in with it. Because it wasn't about his pride or his masculinity. Unless he was saying I was unfeminine for having a weird cervix!
I also think that playing the masculine pride card can be a head in the sand way of not dealing with the real issue, which is hard and scary. I was very, very gentle and sympathetic for about three years, and then one day I woke up and realised I wasn't getting any younger and if he wanted DC with me, he needed to do some less than glamorous stuff, like I'll be doing if we succeed!
Just my experience
Hi all! also TTC #1 and only on the first go.... having thought i would be totally chilled about the whole thing , as soon as DH and I decided to have s go i''ve been googling like mad, checking out calendars and generally going a bit loopy! Now on the 2 week wait for .AF ...or hopefully not....so glad I'm not alone!,
Good luck everyone! And sorry about any typos, still getting used to my new tablet thingy!
Oh yeah, started AF today so waiting another two weeks to be cracking again now...
Ladies, I've not read much of the thread here but do come and join us on the Elderberry Pavlova thread.
It's open to woman over 30 trying for number 1 and have been trying for more than 3 months or so.
Sounds like we are very dictatorial but we are lovely really.
We are here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1803583-The-Elderberry-Pavlovas-who-will-graduate-thread-12
Ugh. AF appeared today so i'm out til next time!
Sorry to hear that Nottalotta Hope you don't feel too down about it and AF gets out of the way quickly so you can start looking to next month.
I think I'm ovulating today - I had a positive OPK yesterday, falling again today and also EWCM yesterday and today. High cervix too. (Though I don't get ovulation pains - is that just me?).
DTD on Friday night and Sunday morning. Planning to jump DH tonight too if possible, though I don't think either of us are enjoying the pressure of sex to a schedule. But then again doing it every other day for the whole month is a definite no no, so we're trying to be a bit strategic about things!
Anyone else approaching the dreaded 2ww..?
I'm fine actualky,.thank you monstemio better now af is here rather than fretting like i was before. I thought it unlikely given having only had one af since coming off the jab and no idea when i ovulate. I hope for things to settle into a pattern over the next couple of months.
Maybe if it was several months down the line i would worry more.
Can you tell me more about opks? Are they wee wee sticks? How often do you do it? Thank you.
Hey sorry for being so slow in coming back... Yep OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kits) are sticks like a home pregnancy test you use to try to determine when you are going to ovulate. They're a bit hit and miss and take some getting used to (especially the cheap internet ones that I use!) but are pretty helpful.
Essentially they measure the levels of luteinizing hormone (LH) in your urine. Women have a certain amount of this hormone in their bodies naturally but experience a surge once a month which is what triggers your ovary to release an egg. When the stick detects this surge and gives a positive result you are likely to ovulate within 12 to 36 hours. So it gives a bit of a timescale for when to dtd, especially when combined with cervical fluid charting etc.
It's not an exact science, so can't be relied upon absolutely - it's easy to miss a surge for example or start dtd too late. And it doesn't tell you whether you actually have ovulated, only doing body temping can tell you that (which I haven't quite graduated to yet as it's a bit of an involved process!).
Sorry - didn't answer all your questions.
I usually start checking from around cycle day 9. This month - for example - I got negatives on days 9-13, forgot to do it on day 14 (which was stupid), but picked up a surge at both 10am and 2pm on day 15. By day 16 which is when my app predicted I would be ovulating anyway (based on cycle length) the line was getting fainter again suggesting the surge had passed.
The stupid thing about missing day 14 is that I now don't know whether the surge started then or the following day (as it can last anything from 1-3 days). But I dtd on days 13 and 15 anyway so hopefully covered it off.
The advice (unlike with a pg test) is not to use first morning urine but to test mid morning onwards, as the surge starts in the morning so might not show up in your first pee of the day!
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