Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fru itful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

(1000 Posts)
hopefulgum Fri 05-Jul-13 11:54:31

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for. grin

diege Fri 05-Jul-13 12:36:39

Hello!! grin Have been reading through and soaking up the news - congrats to the newly bfp-ed! All fine here (24 weeks) and other than a few phone battles with the NHS refusing to accept that I am not having a smear with my dodgy cervix/low placenta until AFTER the baby is born, all seems to be plodding along nicely.
Gum thanks for the new thread and you have a brilliant time on your trip smile It's not sad at all about drooling over trip reviews - I do that when I've booked a travel lodge for the night grin.
Super-hot ere today and the double buggy is dead so will be a fun trip up to school!
Love to all xxx

mozzarellamummy Fri 05-Jul-13 13:56:48

Thanks gum for the new thread..I'm a fan of new starts! jass I also whisper "congratulations"..and hope our deal will work smile..
diege good to hear from you!

CaliBee Fri 05-Jul-13 17:39:11

Marking my place on the new thread.
Congratulations jass I hope this is "the one" for you.
Feeling sad lonely and pretty despondent here so I won't bore you all.
Much love to all x

Irishmammybread Fri 05-Jul-13 19:56:41

Thanks for starting a new thread gum.
Your holiday sounds fantastic, enjoy the pampering!
Nice to hear from you diege and glad all is going well with your pregnancy.Stick to your guns re the smear! The North West is great when the sun is shing, looks like summer is finally here.
CaliBee sorry to hear you're feeling down, it must be so hard to be away from your DH, especially when you're just married. If you're feeling lonely there's always some virtual company on here for you. xxx

jass43 Fri 05-Jul-13 22:09:54

Diege, hold on to that fighting spirit! Well done on avoiding a totally unnecessary intervention at this stage.
Calibee, you should bother us about your sad mood, until we manage to talk you out of it!

hopefulgum Fri 05-Jul-13 22:38:20

Oooh, look, the thread is taking off already!

Lovely to hear from you Diege. Stand your ground honey. It is your body and your pregnancy, and you area n educated woman FGS! I know you will have thought it over carefully.

Calibee, you know we are all here for you and none of us would be bored with what you have to say. I have a big sack of hugs here, so take a few, ((hugs)) bear It must be so hard being apart from your lovely DH. How's the transformation project coming along???

I woke up at 4:30 am today! Bloody hell. I shouldn't be anxious about anything, I had written several lists in the last few weeks, managed to stick to the plan and crossed everything off. But I often do get early morning insomnia in the tww. Would it be progesterone that causes this?

We are taking a long drive today, to our friends in another town, where will will stay overnight before flying out tomorrow. Little Charlie is very excited about the airplane trip.

I may be able to check on the thread while I am away, but don't know if I will post.

Hopefully I will come back to good news all around.

Gum xxx

Irishmammybread Fri 05-Jul-13 22:56:15

Bon voyage gum !

sparklysapphire Fri 05-Jul-13 23:20:34

Gum have a fabulous holiday, tell us all about it when you're back. Thanks for the new thread too.

Jass, I hope this one is the one - good luck.

Isabeller, I'm sure the midwife appointment will be fine - and I think you're younger than me. My midwife did describe me as "quite old", at my booking appointment, but hasn't mentioned my age since! I'm glad you're starting to feel better.

Isadorable, I hope treatment for your cyst is quick and relatively painless.

Morien, how are you doing, excellent that you've already had a scan and all is as it should be so far.

Green, if you're still lurking, how are you doing?

Diege, good to hear from you. Why would they suggest a smear while you're pregnant. I missed my last one, which of course isn't good, but I was told to have it done 3 months after having the baby, and to the best of my knowledge my cervix is normal!

I hope everyone has a lovely sunny weekend, I'm planning on staying as cool as possible, but it's been better for me so far to have had a gloomy summer, though of course we all need some sunshine.

JBrd Sat 06-Jul-13 11:00:22

Helle everyone, and thanks for the new thread, gum! Hope you have a great holiday!

Is it wrong that I feel strangely 'proud' and 'honoured' to announce the first BFP here?! wink Yes, after my temps staying up and up, I caved in yesterday and bought a test. It was positive last night, and still positive this morning... shock

I really didn't expect this, I had written this month off - we only dtd twice, on CD8 and CD11, and I ovulated on CD12 (I think). DH now thinks he has super sperm, and I'm almost agreeing with him. What are the odds?!

So - will it be third time lucky for me? I really really hope so.

Oscillating between feeling numb, giddy and petrified. We're at my friend's wedding today, and now I won't be able to drink, bummer.

Love to everyone!

2minds Sat 06-Jul-13 12:13:44

Wow, congratulations, JBrd! grin Fantastic news.

I haven't been on for a while. Busy with work and the boys. Am now on 2nd month TTC but don't think I have much chance of a positive this month. AF due next Thursday and already feeling that bloated feeling along with the tender breasts and rumblings you experience the week before. Hey ho, maybe for the best as I have not been so careful with my alcohol consumption this month!

Hello to everyone. Lets hope this turns out to be a positive thread for us all! smile

isadorable Sat 06-Jul-13 12:30:37

Congrats jass and JBrd. Doc thinks cyst seeing gynaecologist thurs so will know more then. Feeling pretty down so hopefully straightforward. Bon voyage gum! Love to everyone else too.

mozzarellamummy Sat 06-Jul-13 15:49:09

Congratulations jbrd!!!

Isabeller Sat 06-Jul-13 19:46:58

flowers Congratulations JBrd flowers and bear hugs Calibee bear

sparkly I think perhaps I am not younger than you grin (I only just qualify to be on a forties thread) but midwife said they recently had a 54 year old Mum with twins who 'is doing fine'! The appointment was ok in the end and quite funny at times with writing down all my risk factors and completely eccentric life which kept failing to fit into the tick boxes.

hopeful "many women notice their symptoms subside around 9 weeks, and sometimes the symptoms go away only to return in a day or two." How right you were! Completely poleaxed again on Thursday and Friday and only just managed to take DP for vital 'accompanied' hospital appointment keeping an eye out for loos to rush into in case I had to throw up (sorry if TMI).

Thank goodness I have been feeling more human today. Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine xx

jass43 Sat 06-Jul-13 20:35:50

Jbrd, wow, congratulations on your bfp. Thingers crossed and all else as well! I think your timing was not bad at all, one day before OV seems rather ideal - the sperm might actually be better up there this way and waiting for a couple of days. So, bring that hubby ego down, if you so wish. If not, let him float on th cloud, with you, hopefully.
Me still positive today, though not really stronger than 10dpo. Am 12dpo. Not really worried (yet), as it is the strawberry season and the fmu looks hardly u at all! Max hold I managed was 4 hours.....new try on tue, 15dpo. I am scheduling this so I will not overtest. They are bloody expensive here and I forgot to bring cheaper ones from home country when last visited.

Irishmammybread Sat 06-Jul-13 23:12:32

Congratulations JBrd!!! So that temp drop was an implantation dip after all! Hope you have an uneventful pregnancy. xxx

Glad to hear you've been feeling sick Isabeller (in the nicest possible way!) Hope you've been able to take it easy today,it's lovely to have sunshine at last.

Jass reassuring that your test today is positive,it must give you some peace of mind. How are you feeling, any symptoms?

isadorable hope you can get your cyst sorted out soon without complications,get well soon x

Hi sparkly, 2minds and everyone else!

hopefulgum Sat 06-Jul-13 23:53:59

Congratulations jbrd. Such good news!

notsoold Sun 07-Jul-13 01:37:56

Jass wonderful news and overtesting was oneof my problems!!! Xxx

Jbrd congratulations!!! What wonderful news !!!xxx

CaliBee Sun 07-Jul-13 10:08:51

Wonderful wonderful news jbrd....so happy for you.

Is dare I say I'm glad your symptoms are continuing??

Thankyou to all those that have offered virtual hugs (very greatfully received) and kindness. DH has now left on a four week exercise so we will have no contact atall sad the conversation has been awful since he went to Canada due to poor wifi and phonelines. It just feels like he is off having all the fun whilst I am left to organise the move and deal with the massive "empty nest syndrome" which seems to be going on in my head at the moment. I'm ashamed to say that my stroppiness and several snotagrams I sent him over the start of last week nearly caused him to be sent home on compassionate leave...eeek. Anybody would think I was the youngest one in the relationship!!! Anyway all is good now...I just miss him sooooo much. The sunshine over the last couple of days has lifted me no end......a drive in my car with the top down always puts a smile back on the old face grin.

I feel incredibly detached form the whole ttc business just now..~I'm not temping or testing this cycle. I feel I have got to know my body and am going to have a go at guessing when I ovulate from body signs. Afterall I know there is 100% zero chance of a bfp. Without the clomid I wonder if my body will revert back to the 40-50 day cycles that I was having last year??

jass43 Sun 07-Jul-13 15:04:13

Calibee, nice sunshine helps a lot. I took my bike out for a lazy stroll in the woods as well.
Irish, no, I have no symptoms whatsoever. In fact, had some brown smearing today which makes me feel very negative. In my successful pregnancies I never saw any brown spotting. In the unsuccesful ones, I always have had. So, I have to retest tomorrow to see whether to stop medication or not. Shall see tomorrow.

mozzarellamummy Sun 07-Jul-13 15:35:14

jass sorry for that bad sign but I keep everything crossed for you!
Isabeller, ehm good to know you're sick, hope not to much!! And how do you get to have teddy bear emoticons??
Cali hope the time DH is in Canada will fly away quickly for you!!
I had a bittersweet sad smile dream some days ago, dreaming the baby I lost was actually still with me.. She had been hiding in my home somewhere for months and I found her again and she was so similar to me as a child and I was so happy to have her with me at home.. It was amazingly realistic, of course it was upsetting to realize it was just a dream, but I was left with a good feeling.. it was as if she visited me in someway..

jass43 Sun 07-Jul-13 16:39:31

Mozarella, so sad..... But maybe indeed your baby came by to be with you for a fleeting moment.
I sneaked a quick OPK test in the afternoon in and still had the line on that one. Hard to compare with my last preg, as visibly the urine is so much more diluted, so even if I kept my last pack of hpt photos, I can not really tell where my levels are. Certainly sub-hundred, I think. Big chance of another chem.

Isabeller Mon 08-Jul-13 06:50:26

bear is to (bear) as
flowers is to (flowers)

Every time I feel ill now I am laughing at everyone being so pleased I feel dreadful! It is a great sign but I will be relieved when it goes away.

Edamame Mon 08-Jul-13 19:10:28

Hello peeps and big congrats to Jbrd!

I'm new around here, 41, TTC #1 for 3 months. I met the love of my life just less than a year ago. For me, there was no reason to start trying before that. I guess I'm a bit of a late developer. DP is convinced it will happen very very quickly, I'm not so sure.

mozzarellamummy Mon 08-Jul-13 21:23:42

welcome Edamame, hope your DP has the right feeling!! smile

Tomorrow I will know which is the school where I will start to teach from September.. feeling a bit nervous about it.. confused.. I'm forcedly quitting a completly different kind of job and I wonder what it will be like to deal with teenagers..

jass43 Mon 08-Jul-13 23:03:31

Welcome, Edamame, and hope you will get a fast bfp and uneventful pregnancy soon enough!

Morien Tue 09-Jul-13 11:22:25

Congratulations jbrd - lovely news. It's got to be third time lucky!

jass, how are things?

Welcome, Edamame. This is a lovely thread, lots of support.

I've had a strange few days. My mum called on Thursday to say that my wonderful 97-year old grandma was in hospital with only a few days to live. Fortunately I was able to fly to Manchester on Friday so I got to see her before she died on Sunday. She was in such a bad way that it's a relief she's gone, but she was a huge part of our family and she's going to leave an enormous hole.

WRT my pregnancy, I no longer feel the lovely positive confidence about it I did before - but maybe because I just feel sad because of my Grandma. On top of that, last time I started spotting at 11 weeks and the scan showed I was miscarrying, with the foetus having died at 9 weeks. I'm getting close to 9 weeks, and I can't pretend I'm not worried about the same thing happening again. I think subconciously I'm preparing for the worst and I'm torturing myself that my symptoms have disappeared. I don't seem to be quite as tired, and I'm not as nauseous (I was only sick once). That said though, my breasts are still very sore, and I still have wild food aversions. I was testing myself just now, seeing if I fancied a coffee, and the very idea makes me heave. Hey ho, I just have to ride it out, I suppose - I can't change things. Next scan is in 2 weeks.

mozzarellamummy Tue 09-Jul-13 16:22:00

morien sickness naturally decreases as pregnancy goes on, easier said than done but try not to worry too much!
from september I will be teaching in two vocational schools located in my town, that's a big relief as I could get schools much farther away..now I can focus my worries on the 14-15 yrs old I will have to deal with..smile

mozzarellamummy Tue 09-Jul-13 16:25:51

Forgot to say.. I am at the dr waiting to see wether my follicle exploded.. [impatient-worried emoticon]

jass43 Tue 09-Jul-13 20:12:47

Morien, unless you have thyroid trouble, the probability of recurrence at this stage exactly the same way as last time is really low. Do not concentrate on that, if you can. Symptoms are not at all important at this stage, your body is well established in pregnancy now and will hum along happily! Can you not get a reassurance scan? I think in continental Europe it is relatively easy to get a scan? But only if your nervous feelings seriously affect your wellbeing, otherwise perhaps it is best not to overscan the little person!

jass43 Tue 09-Jul-13 20:15:59

Ee, forgot about myself. I had a stronger line this morning, accompanied with stronger bleeding throughout the day. My chemicals normally bleed out really fast, doctor said it must take care of itself. I am confused abut the ability of my body to act weirdly.....

JBrd Tue 09-Jul-13 23:40:37

Jass That sounds all very confused Hope you are OK... Are you sure it's a chemical pg? Look after yourself.

Morien My thoughts are with you in this difficult time, wishing you strength to get through this. Bereavement isn't easy to deal with in any case, and being pg doesn't help (raging hormones and all). I hope that you can find some comfort in the fact that she didn't suffer and that you did get to say goodbye.
Of course it will affect everything, but please don't give up hope with everything. Take it easy, one day at a time, it will get easier.

Love to everyone else, I'm so tired! Got back from hols today and still need to finish unpacking, ugh...

sparklysapphire Wed 10-Jul-13 02:09:56

JBrd congratulations. I have everything crossed for you that this one will be the sticky one.

Morien, I hope that you got to see your Grandma before she died makes things a little easier, but it's never easy no matter how old someone is. Be nice to yourself, and try not to stress about the pregnancy - of course it's far easier said than done, but your symptoms still sound like they're well and truly there.

Jass, sorry that you think this might be yet another chemical, hope you're doing ok.

Hi to everyone, welcome to the newbies.

Paula2012 Wed 10-Jul-13 12:30:30

Hi everyone I haven't posted for a long time but I have been reading everyones messages. My history is DS at 38 tried for another at 40 and have had 3 mcs in the last 5 years last one about 18 months ago. To be honest I have tried not to think about it for a while as I find it gets to me. I am of the view now that if it happens it happens but know there is only a small chance. Anyway on a more positive note did anyone read the Daily Mail article this week about a woman who tried for years to have children and then had 3 in her forties last one at 46. Apparently some women have a surge in their fertility just before the menopause!

mozzarellamummy Wed 10-Jul-13 20:20:43

Hi paula! I didn't know you before, but welcome back! That news on the daily mail is really encouraging, good to know somebody can get there. . gum, crazy rainy weather here in italy..I can't avoid thinking about your holidays..and I'm missing your morning posts! wink

hopefulgum Wed 10-Jul-13 23:09:18

Hello ladies, just popping in to save my place. I have wifi at my amazingly beautiful villa so can check in occasionally. It's very early, can't sleep so I got up. My DS is sitting beside me, drawing.

The first couple of days of our holiday were very busy in Bali, but now we are on Lombok, it is relaxed and cruisey. Bali was very hot and humid, never sweated so much in all my life, Lol. But here is not as hot and we have a pool to keep the temperature down.

I had a massage yesterday and when I lay on my front and she massaged my back, my boobs were very sore, but other than that I am not giving it a second thought.

We have arrived in a Muslim country on the day of the start of Ramadan, so every night the prayers chants songs etc go all night. It is not something I have experienced before, it is quite nice in some ways, but is keeping me awake a bit.

Anyway, I am keeping up with ladies. And will post too, depending on how things are going.

Morien I am so sorry for the loss of your grandma.

Right, off to watch the sunrise....

Irishmammybread Thu 11-Jul-13 00:25:33

Morien so sorry to hear about your Grandma.x
Could you have an early private scan to try to put your mind at rest? I know it's so difficult not to worry but there's every chance everything is fine!
Mozzamum you must be pleased to have placements in schools close to home, it'll make life easier for you. Had your follicle popped when you went to the doctors?
Jass sorry you're still bleeding but sounds encouraging to have a stronger positive. I suppose you have to wait and see what develops and keep testing, it's a difficult time for you but I hope it turns out well .
Hi Paula ,I saw that article in the Daily Mail too! I'm supposed to be giving up ttc but when I read articles like that it makes me wonder if I would still have a chance at 45.
gum glad you're enjoying your holiday,it must be lovely to have a pool at your villa, and to have a bit of pampering, you deserve it.
Sore boobs.... what dpo are you?
Welcome Edam !
Hi to Sparkly JBrd and everyone else.

mozzarellamummy Thu 11-Jul-13 06:51:25

Yes, Irismummy, it finally popped and blood's tests were also good ..so dr said just keep on trying, which I'll try to do without worrying too much if possible..
gum your holiday sounds very relaxing, massages, pool, sunrises...WOW!!!

jass43 Thu 11-Jul-13 07:19:56

My own greatgrandma had her last at 46, in 1914. So I have always expected I can do it later in the life too. But something has gone wrong obviously with me.
Paula and others, I hope relaxed attitudes will give you your bfps. I guess I need to relax, too, but right now everything is such a mess. I am in quite some pain, low back and abdominal, doctor said it looks like normal period in ultrasound, but I am starting to think the last chem and this one are not chem at all but retained products from the blighted ovum. I have had this once and it feels exactly like this. Luckily it is one week until I can go to home country where quite some of my friends are gynes, so can have a friendly chat and check on the situation.

Paula2012 Thu 11-Jul-13 14:29:59

I know irishmummy I am the same age 45 it does make you wonder if it is still possible. It wasn't until I experienced my mscs that I realised how much I wanted another child and realised how hard it was. I had no problems with my first but then I was a lot younger! I do think years ago it was normal for women to have children well in to their forties. I would love to know if there are any success stories I know a lot of us have experienced msc but has anyone managed to have a child in their mid forties? I feel for you Jass43 I had to go into hospital for my 2nd msc I was in so much pain I don't think people realise (outside of this thread) how painful it all is not just physically but mentally too. I have started telling people I can't have any more children so that I don't have to explain all my history. I hope things settle down for you.

sparklysapphire Thu 11-Jul-13 14:38:16

Paula, I conceived naturally at 44, I was 45 in May and my baby is due at the end of next month, I don't know if that helps. I do know how incredibly fortunate I am though. Good luck to everyone, and I hope to see more BFPs on here soon.

Jass, sorry you are so uncomfortable. I hope things resolve soon.

Gum, sounds like you're having a fabulous time.

notsoold Thu 11-Jul-13 16:15:23

Paula....I come from a large family and ttc in their forties is common. My dm stopped very early 33 but her sisters ( my aunties) kept going into around 45/ 46. The oldest her a set of twins at 48. Very healthy boys !!!!
I do wonder if modern diet and pollutants has somethimg to do with decline on bfps!!!

Gum....hope you are having a wonderful time!!!

Sparkly...lovely to hear from you!!! Hope you are keeping well

Jass poor you!!!xxx

I am doing well...25 weeks and an enormous bump...this week our dog has been poorly ( seems like she get a bug in heatwaves) and I have done nothing but to nurse her!!! Getting better but I have only slept 9 hours in the last 3 days!!!
Love to all!!!

Irishmammybread Thu 11-Jul-13 23:53:36

Jass if you had retained products would you have any any BFNs over the last few months or would your tests just have stayed positive all the time?
It's convenient having friends who are gynaecologists,I hope they can advise you on what's going on.
notso it must be difficult sleeping in this heat when you've got your own internal central system,even if you didn't have a poorly dog to loof after!
Paula I know exactly what you mean about your miscarriage making you realize how much you want another baby,for me it seemed to awaken an intense longing to have a baby to hold and a feeling my family isn't complete now, someone's missing
Love to all

hopefulgum Thu 11-Jul-13 23:55:52

Good morning ladies.
We had an interesting day exploring yesterday, went to a nearby city which , although very busy, didn't look like a city. The shopping was very strange. We went to a shopping mall that was entirely shops that seemed "westernised" but were full on cheap plastic tat that no westerner would want to by. Not a single touristy shop. So I think it was essentially for the locals. Dh and friends are going on a tour of the traditional people and their crafts today, which would be interesting, but 6 hours is too long for DS, so we'll hang around the pool. We bought him floaties (arm bands) so that he can be more free in the pool. He is wrapt!

Jass sorry to hear that you think this is a result of the blighted ovum. I don't know how you keep going. Actually, I do, as I know how powerful the desire for a baby is.

notsoold I am glad to hear that things are going well with the pregnancy, though sorry you are having sleepless nights with a sick dog. I hope she is feeling better soon.

Incidentally, over here pregnancy in your forties is not unusual. My friend who is here with us is 48 and one of the maids asked her if she would have another child as she just has one daughter with her on the trip ( two grown up boys back home). My friend said, no, as she is too old. She asked how old and she told her and the maid said, you have time for one more. I loved hearing that. Perhaps at 46 I am not totally without hope.

irish the sore boobs seem to a normal thing every month for me, though they seem extra tender. I also felt a bit sick from the smells yesterday, but that doesn't really mean much. I think I am 9 dpo, but I am trying to stay vague about that. I do know that if I don't see AF by weds I can test. So a few days to go yet .

diege Fri 12-Jul-13 07:11:05

Hello! Have been reading but thought I'd pop on and say hello as early mornings seem the only time I have to MN at the moment.
I am loving your holiday posts gum grin. I have a very vivid picture of the sights you describe, and how hot it must be! I'm hearing more and more people tell me stories about surprise pregnancies in the mid- late 40s - yes, it is rare but it does happen.
jass so sorry you think it might be bad news sad
notsoold 25 wks here too - heat is killing me! Shall I do a rain dance for us? wink
irish how are you feeling? I do know that yearning to complete your family - after a mc(s) that feeling is so much more intense and I truly hope you get some good news soon x
Well the troops are stirring - better get everyone up!

jass43 Fri 12-Jul-13 08:30:37

Notso, Diege,others - really good to hear about happy pregnancies in our geriatric ward! It is for me important to see I still have a few years ahead of me to keep trying, if I ca keep it up mentally. But I think I can, because honestly I do not feel too emotional about it all. Just want to be in clear to have a new chance.

I had a beta after mc which was 3. So I should have been at least in neg test territories. But when I had my blighted ovum 2 years ago, I retained products even with a 0 beta reading, the trophoblast tissue continued to stay in my uterus. And the periods during these months were weird, so I seeked an ultrasound and one of my friend doctors did an operation where She just removed the tissue, did not scratch out all the lining for that,to get me quicker into condition to try again. Also did a biopsy to understand why I might be miscarrying, even if it was only my 2 mc at that time.
At least I am bleeding quite strongly since yesterday, so have a fair chance to clear all out myself.

I think we are overdue for a fresh sticky bfp. Who is next? Hopeful, your turn, i think. And I hope jbrd is holding her own and progressing well!

2minds Fri 12-Jul-13 19:48:48

Sorry you think it may be bad news, Jass.sad

My period has arrived bang on time so no bfp for me. Made an effort to dtd at all the right times this month too. I am only on the second proper month of trying and am already feeling my hopes are slim. Think this is because I conceived both my boys (while I was a lot younger) without trying so am thinking I have left it too late and it will now never happen.

Isabeller Fri 12-Jul-13 21:05:20

I am really crossing my fingers for everybody.

This week we had a big scare and thought it was all over - massive sudden bright red bleed. Fortunately all was well but we had a very difficult few hours. I am on blood thinners so what might have been a little bit of spotting turned into a drama but in the end we saw the baby bouncing around and waving and no sign of any problem. Poor DP was in a complete state, fortunately the nurse and doctor were very kind to him and it has given me more confidence in our hospital.

Still looking forward to feeling better smile

2minds Fri 12-Jul-13 22:04:27

Goodness, what a scare for you, Isabeller! Must have been such a relief to see your little baby bouncing about. I am pleased all turned out well for you.smile

hopefulgum Fri 12-Jul-13 23:11:35

isabeller I am glad to hear all is well, what a dreadful scare for you and DH.

2minds please don't feel too despondent, it is only your second month of ttc and there's no reason to think it cannot happen for you. When I stared ttc my DS at age 41 I felt like you, as I had fallen so easily with my other four babies, in fact the first one was a surprise, then the others happened the first month of trying. It took seven months to conceive DS. I now realise that it wasn't very long in the scheme of things. After him I have conceived three times, the first two times it took about six or seven months, then the last one 12 or so, and it has now been over a year and no bfp (all three miscarried). I am guessing it is longer between popping out fertilisable eggs, and even then they have been faulty. I still feel there could be a golden egg in there....

Thanks Jass for suggesting I get the next bfp. I would love that, but I am not feeling very positive this month. Not many symptoms but not dwelling on it either.

Yesterday was a lovely easy day. DS played in the pool most of the day and was so worn out he fell asleep in his chair at dinner smile . We have a series of photos of him falling asleep in random places on this holiday. He has been very good, but I do find it easier if we don't push him to do too much, trips and tours are not great with a tired or hungry or grumpy hot four year old in tow.

Today we are taking a boat to a tiny island, Gili Meno. Apparently there is fabulous snorkelling in clear water that isn't deep, so it will be good for Charlie.

I awoke so early today, around four, and was struggling to go back to sleep, then the chanting, singing and prayers started, there is a mosque very near our villa, and there was no chance of sleeping. I am not sure I would come back at Ramadam again hmm

Love and bfps to all!

Morien Sun 14-Jul-13 08:25:48

Thanks for the reassurance, everyone. Actually I feel much better about the pregnancy now - I've gone back to feeling quite calm and accepting of whatever comes; I think it was a blip because of my Grandma. On that front I'm feeling better too...for now, but we're going to the UK for a week tomorrow, starting with a few days at my mum's, and the funeral has been held till we're there (obviously I'd have gone anyway, but it's easier this way).

gum your holiday sounds wonderful, and I'm enjoying reading your posts about it. We're going glamping in the Lake District - one of my favourite parts of the world, and I think it'll be fun...but significantly less exotic!

Isabeller what a hard time you must have had. I'm glad things are ok.

notsoold, diege, sparkly really pleased you're all doing well, but I can imagine this heat must be tough. notsoold, how's the dog?

jass, thinking of you.

Hello to everyone else!

2minds Sun 14-Jul-13 09:58:58

It is good to hear you conceived your DS at 41, hopefulgum. I guess I have to expect it to take a bit longer now that I am older & I won't lose all hope yet. I was determined not to let this stress me out at the start, now just 2 months in & it is doing just that! I will be keeping my fingers crossed that you get that bfp very soon. Sounds like you are having a lovely holiday - I am veryenvy!

jass43 Sun 14-Jul-13 13:36:23

Isabeller, what a horrible scare

AndMorien, good you are feeling better now. I am sure your grandmother will be watching over you for the coming months....

I think I will make a try to get a ultrasound tomorrow morning to see what is going on. I am still bleeding, from the first show it is now 10 days. Unless I get a negative test tomorrow morning I will go and see what us going on. If test is neg,will go to doctors when I get to my holidays

Morien Sun 14-Jul-13 17:23:13

Thank you for saying that, jass - even though it made me cry (it doesn't take much at the moment!)

hopefulgum Sun 14-Jul-13 23:39:58

Hello ladies. We are still having a wonderful relaxed holiday. I cannot believe it is our last day in Lombok, tomorrow we take a fast boat to Bali, then head into Ubud for four nights.

I have been very content to spend most of the days here lingering by the pool, especially as DS just wants to swim all day. He is knackered by the end of the day and sleeps heavily, not at all like at home.

DH has been more adventurous, exploring, but I honestly just needed to recharge my batteries after a tough term at work.

I am pretty sure the will be no bfp for me this time. I haven't taken my temperature ( which has been nice) but my boobs feel less and less tender which is a clear indicator to me. Although I am fine with it, I would have loved to have a "souvenir " from my holiday ( though it would have been made back home). I am guessing AF will turn up on Wednesday. I can't complain, my DS is my little miracle, the boy that might never have been, had we not had a vasectomy reversal and a determination to have a baby. I look at him and can't believe how lucky I am to have him in my life, he's really so gorgeous.

The local people here absolutely love the little blonde boy. Everyone fusses over him and talks to him, he's never had attention like this before. The Indonesians really value children, it is so nice to see. There's never a frown bringing children into bars or restaurants, they serve their dinner first and try to accommodate your needs quickly.

jass I hope you can get some answers soon, it is awful not knowing what is going on. I do hope all is well and that there is a little bean hanging on.

Edamame Mon 15-Jul-13 06:48:08

Can I share some good news? It looks like DP was right... I have a BFP !! shock
<terrified emoticon>

JBrd Mon 15-Jul-13 13:28:57

Edamame Congratulations! It's terrifying, isn't it, though, I know what you mean! Good luck for a sticky bean and a boring, text-book pregnancy flowers

isabeller what a scare, hope you and your DH have recovered from the shock! There is always something, isn't there!

gum - sooo jealous envy.

jass Good luck with the doctors today, hope you get some clarity.

Not much from my end - still pg, 4+5 today, and tim eis going sllooooowwwwwlllyyy... I've come to hate this state so much.
Went to the GP this morning to get my consultant referral sorted, to register with the midwives and pick up the forms... It's all so deja-vu. Asked the GP if there is anything I can take/do to avoid mc, but no... But she promised to chase up the referral and make it urgent, I might even be able to speak with the consultant on the phone to then start the heparin injections straight away (I still have the syringes at home, got a 3 month supply last time that I then never used).

Can someone fast-forward me to early September, please?!

mozzarellamummy Mon 15-Jul-13 14:21:25

Edamame, that's great news!!!!!
I was just getting upset reading an article about declining fertility with age, but it seems this thread is really prolific!!!
Despite trying hard this months I feel some signals AF will be there around thursday and friday.. it's 6 months now and I'm getting nuts.. I'm tempted to test early, I'd rather have a chemical pregnancy than another unsuccesfull cycle.. It would show me I still can get pregnant..
On which CD does it make sense to test?
Anyway Thursday is my dd second birthday and I will try to focus on the party.. smile
Morien I'm glad you're feeling better and really sorry for your grandma..
Isabeller I hope pregnancy will be smoother and uneventful from now on..
Wishing a good time to everybody else!

Isabeller Mon 15-Jul-13 14:50:19

Congratulations Edamame! flowers

jass43 Mon 15-Jul-13 21:13:28

Edamame, congratulations and have a boring pregnancy!
Jbrd, if I were you and I had the slightest reason to believe clotting was the issue last times, I would start using these heparin injections right now. I have been prescribed them to use from bfp, but in my case it did no help to sustain pregnancy, so I do not have to do it anymore. But I did for about 4 rounds and was advised to do it since bfp.
Hopeful, I have to say hat my 4 yo blond boy gets also far more appreciation from me because of the whole ttc trouble. I guess I am spoiling him and I am also terrified when he has the slightest health problem. Just can not tolerate him being miserable in any way. It must no tube good for him, finally, but I can to help it.

I did not get an ultrasound today. Doctor was fully booked, advised me to go to hospital to try my luck, but I did not have the 4-5 hour time to sit there. Am still getting this dark dark blackish red discharge a mc involves, and am more and more convinced I have leftovers from my blighted ovum. No signs of fever or anything, called a friend doctor in country of origin, She guessed I can wait until I get me on Friday. Then ultrasound ASAP and we will see what next. Curiously, I am not worried, or sad, nothing really. Just living my life and not really bothered.

hopefulgum Mon 15-Jul-13 22:59:43

Congratulations endamame, so great that it happened quickly for you. I hope it is easy sailing for you from here on.

jbrd, I feel for you, those early weeks do seem to move at a snail's pace and it is tortuous. Just remember, "for today I am pregnant".

Unfortunately for me, today, I am not pregnant. It looks like the start of AF today, it's about 13/14 dpo, so right on time. No point in being sad about it, but can't help feeling disappointed. I really do think I am past it, and there is no longer any point in planning a future that includes a new baby. It is better to move on knowing I have given it one hell of a good try but wasn't successful, and if a golden egg manages to get through and fertilize, then I will have a very happy surprise.

I will never try to prevent pregnancy, but I think my days of ttc are well and truly numbered.

Anyway, at least now I can take some travel calm tablets before we get on a boat today. We are leaving Lombok and going back to Bali for four nights. It has been lovely and I am feeling very relaxed. I might even have a few cocktails, as I have had very little alcohol in the last week, at least I can drink now without feeling worried or guilty.

Hang in here mozzamummy, six months may feel like forever, but it really isn't , just keep at it and you will get your bfp - you are nowhere near as ancient as me smile

jass43 Tue 16-Jul-13 20:19:56

Hopeful. I think the big consolation is that at least you are not on contraception, so even if not checking for OV and actively ttc, you would still be having hope! Gradually I guess hope decreases and acceptance increases, at least I feel this way. I am trying to think grandchildren instead and reminding myself that the chance of having a baby I can feel close to increase with my big children getting into their 20ies. It helps a lot, to be honest.

diege Wed 17-Jul-13 19:26:38

Hello! Gum I think that's a very good point jass makes about you not being on contraception. At least there means there is a chance, and with your proven fertility record if that golden egg is there for anyone it will be you xx
jass sorry to hear you're having to wait for the ultrasound till Friday. Are you still bleeding? You must be feeling very stressed sad.
edamame many congratulations!!
jbrd hoping you can hang in there and think positive thoughts - the wait must be excruciating. Are you having an early scan? xx
All ok here - 26 weeks. Had mw appointment today, all well, baby head down (not that that means much at this stage) and strong heartbeat. Only issue are my swollen fingers and hands. Wedding and engagement rings well and truly stuck so unless something happens pretty soon and the swelling goes down I'll need to go to a&e and have them cut off....Must try the iced water again...
Love to all xxx

Irishmammybread Wed 17-Jul-13 23:06:50

Hi Diege ! Glad to hear all is going well with the little one. It must be uncomfortable having your fingers swell so early on though. I know I had to wear my rings on a chain around my neck towards the end of each pregnancy but I'm sure it was later. Cutting them off seems drastic, but better than cutting off your circulation if you leave them on I suppose!
When do you start mat leave? Are you able to take more time off over the summer now term has finished or do you still have a lot of work to do? Look after yourself!
edamame congratulations!
gum sorry this wasn't your month. Your holiday sounds wonderful, a real experience of a lifetime!
isabeller how are you feeling now,glad everthing turned out ok after your scare.
Jass hope you get some answers soon.
JBrd do you have a date for an early scan?
Mozza have a lovely day celebrating your DD's birthday tomorrow, they are moments to treasure!
CaliBee hope you're ok,it must be tough being apart from your DH. x
Love to all

Isabeller Fri 19-Jul-13 07:20:20

Hi and thanks flowers flowers for all the good wishes. I'm starting to have some better days and a little bump pushing my spare tyre upwards - easy to disguise but obvious to me. Also desperate to go bra shopping!

It may be the hormones but I am feeling calmer and happier, beginning to really believe that everything will be ok. We have started to tell people and the egg donation no longer seems the biggest part of the story. We are being open about it and have had some very good reactions, especially from my family. When I told them about the unexpected miracle of an egg donor from the same country as my one non-UK grandparent relatives have said 'meant to be' and been incredibly keen.

Positive thoughts to all xx

diege Fri 19-Jul-13 12:38:45

Hello! That's great news isabeller that you are feeling more confident - it does sound like everything's going well smile
irish how are things with you? No end of term as such for me unfortunately as our students carry on for the whole year (they have the year broken up with placements). However it is much more relaxed on campus and I can certainly sneak in a few more working from home days wink
The ring situation is now dire - am trying my upmost to prise them off, but if anything the process makes my finger even more sore. I'll give it another week and then admit defeat.
Love to all - off to do a rain dance now, this heat is killing me!

Isabeller Fri 19-Jul-13 13:21:18

Thanks diege smile I have been googling but can't find the method but I'm sure I remember a way to remove a ring using a plastic bag or perhaps clingfilm.

I imagine you must chill the finger under a cold tap at least and get the plastic between the ring and the finger then perhaps use oil or washing up liquid between the plastic and the ring. I think it works because you are using the plastic to pull the ring off and at the same time compressing the finger just above the ring with the plastic.

I imagine a bag would be better than clingfilm and maybe not too hard to wrap just tightly enough to get it under the ring in the first place.

Sorry I can't remember properly but perhaps someone else will. Also thanks for the heads up - my ring is getting tight but is still removable, perhaps I should get into the habit of taking it off at night while I still can.

JBrd Fri 19-Jul-13 13:31:26

Diege You might want to try and get someone (professional) to give you a hand massage, to get the swelling down enough to remove the rings. Also, drinking lots of special teas to counteract water retention (can't remember which ones, think nettle is one that does that) could help... I had to stop wearing jewellery towards the end of my pg, but I managed to get all the rings off before it got really bad.

jass How are you getting on, did you manage to see a doctor and/or get a scan?

Hi everyone, hope you are all OK!

Time is going too slowly for me, it's excruciating. 5+2 today, and all I want is to fast forward to 16 weeks or so (12 would do, too). I have no symptoms whatsoever (apart from suffering from caffeine withdrawal).

Not sure if I will want an early scan - unless I start bleeding or anything, of course. But I know from heartbreaking experience that an early scan is no guarantee that it will all be OK... So I don't know if it would reassure me very much.
Having said that, ask me again in 2-3 weeks, and I might say something completely different!

hopefulgum Sun 21-Jul-13 01:02:08

Good Morning ladies.

First morning back at home and feeling so happy to be here. That makes it sound like I didn't enjoy my holiday, which isn't the case, just happy to be in my lovely house, with a new appreciation for all I have.

I guess, also, some parts of the holiday were wearing a bit thin, mainly that almost everyone in our holiday party, bar my DD and me, got sick at some point. It is very common to get "Bali belly" as there are so many new bugs that we haven't encountered before, new foods, it is a third world country etc, but I got very tired of having to be hyper vigilant with the hand sanitiser etc. Anyway, on the last night we went to this amazing, gorgeous restaurant perched up above a river, that served stunning food, and my Dd (16) spent most of the evening with her head over the toilet bowl at the restaurant! Poor thing, it just came on suddenly. Thank goodness she'd stopped vomiting by morning as we had an early plane to catch.

So I have a new appreciation for the level of hygiene,and the lack of nasty tummy bugs back here in Australia. And I reckon I just had the best night's sleep in ages.

I have woken with a renewed vigour for ttc would you believe!? hmm hmm hmm I know I had come to some kind of acceptance whilst I was away, but for some reason, back here I suddenly feel that I shouldn't give up the dream after all.

I know this desire/acceptance etc is a bit of a roundabout (you must get sick of me harping on about it), but I am just sharing my feelings (which I can't do anywhere else).

Not that a renewed vigour means very much, I won't actually be getting any medical assistance or anything, but I feel a new lease of energy rather than an exhaustion, IYKWIM?

Maybe it is just a habit, it felt very odd looking at my chart at FF with no temps for the last two weeks, and I think I may pull out the thermometer tomorrow morning.

I am still realistic about my chances, they are so slim at my age, and I am approaching my 47th birthday, but I still believe there may be a nice golden egg int here, and I might as well give it a good shot.

Jbrd, I completely understand how you feel. I had early scans and was told the hearbeat was perfect and the chances of miscarrying were only 5%. I was told this both times that I miscarried, so I don't know that I'd find a scan all that helpful. I often think if I get pregnant again I won't want a scan until 12 weeks, but on the other hand, I will be so stressed I will probably want to see what's going on inside. It's a dilemma, I know. You have my sympathy. ((hugs)) bear

Deige, your tight rings sound awful. You poor thing. I know how much the heat can make a difference. I have very loose rings, but in Bali they were tight the entire time, now home, they are loose again. I had to remove mine quite early in pregnancy, they got tight too fast. I do hope you can find a solution that doesn't involve cutting them off. Is there a mountain nearby that you could visit where the weather is much cooler? Perhaps just for a couple of days? In a nice hotel, with room service...wink

diege Sun 21-Jul-13 10:01:20

Morning! Gum I know that 'happy to be home' holiday feeling all to well, and if you have been surrounded by sickness it must be a massive relief not to be surrounded by the constant threat of it! At least you didn't get it. I understand too your renewed enthusiasm for ttc-ing - no worries about being away when pregnant etc - I will be keeping everything crossed for that golden egg! I think I've mentioned a friend of a friend who fell pregnant accidently with triplets at 47? (48 when born), and who already had 6 (grown up) children? Massive shock for her but does show it can be done.
Thanks jbrd and isabeller for the getting-rings-off tips. The plastic bag one does sound as if it would work, though at this point in time I can't even turn them let alone get anything underneath. However, weather has cooled here today so may have another go with the iced water tonight.

diege Sun 21-Jul-13 10:02:05

'too well - sorry, pet hate!!!

catchafox Sun 21-Jul-13 22:32:43

Hello, it's good to find this thread. I wonder if you can advise. I've scanned the thread and although I see that some of your ages, I'd be interested to know if you are trying while knowing you have a fairly healthy hormonal profile? As in, your FSH is low and your AMH is not low!

I am 43, have an FSH around 30, and an AMH that suggests negligible fertility. I have a 3 year old. I have resigned myself to the fact that I won't have any more children but obviously, as you all know, acceptance is not a black and white thing when it comes to babies and I have days, like today, where I don't want to accept it.

Was just looking for any similar backgrounds? But maybe wrong thread...

Thanks and good luck to you all

hopefulgum Sun 21-Jul-13 23:41:35

Hello catchafox, I think there is a range of hormonal profiles on this thread. I don't know what my FSH is at the moment, and don't want to know. I had it measured more than a year ago and it was 12. I expect it would be higher now. My AMH was very low. But my progesterone is okay.

So I suppose I don't have a great hormonal profile, but many women do get pregnant with crappy hormonal results and many women with great results don't get pregnant.

Have you heard of the book by Julia Indochiva, Inconceivable? She had an FSH of 42 at age 42, but did have a child. It is a very good read.

I think this thread would be a great support to you if you are ttc. We all have hurdles to mount on our quest for a baby, and as you have probably read from scanning the thread some of us are particularly challenged (me - being so damned old sad).

I have starting taking my temperature again today. It was very low. I was hoping for a miraculously high temperature and a miraculous bfp, despite having seen AF (it does happen, right??hmm), because I felt a bit nauseous last night. It is more likely a result of the holiday excesses or some nasty little Balinese germ...Feel fine now. A girl can hope...

I have to go in to work today. Feels like an assault having to actually work, and then do grocery shopping and cook meals etc. I wish I could have brought home a lovely Balinese lady to cook and clean and babysit for me. They were so amazing and graceful and sweet.

Oh well, back to the real world.

CaliBee Mon 22-Jul-13 08:53:19

Just a quick catchup.....and a biiiig hello to all those that know me.

Congrats to all those bfp's and my sympathies to our pregnant ladies in this heat.

Well my month without clomid did in fact result in ovulation on cd20....how ridiculous am I getting my hopes up in the 2ww knowing full well that no sex means no baby sad. Its only 4 weeks until DH is home now and another week after that until we move. I'm kind of looking forward to it but also dreading leaving all my friends and family behind and not having my own income. It seems weird that I havent seen DH for over a month now.
Poo to the army and poo to ttc.

catchafox I'm 43 aswell. My fsh was 20 and my amh was negligible in last years tests, but I did get pregnant in December on my first month of clomid. Fingers crossed for you x

Isabeller Mon 22-Jul-13 11:09:40

Hi Calibee smile

catchafox Mon 22-Jul-13 11:53:54

Hi, thanks for the replies. I've never considered using Clomid. Do you have to see a consultant to have it prescribed or is it something a doctor can do? In what circumstances do you use it - and are their horrible side effects? I think I remember there is increased chances of multiples which doesn't bode well!

mozzarellamummy Mon 22-Jul-13 13:51:31

AF again for me... sad
Today I'm also dealing with my daughter's tantrums .. angry..

catchafox welcome! I never tested AMH but FSH seems ok, still I've been ttc for several months with no results.. I find ttc really menthally exhausting.. but I'm not ready to give up yet!
I'm now wondering wether to have a short holiday at the seaside with dd without dp at the end of august even if it's my fertile period..
I can't put my life on hold and especially dd's, but I'm so scared to miss the famous golden egg... confused.. and it's not easy to change the dates either.. Any wise suggestion from you ladies?

guthriegirl Mon 22-Jul-13 15:01:18

Hello everyone! Can I join in?

Had my DS 6 weeks before my 40th birthday and have desperately wanted to try for another ever since. My DH wasn't keen. It's taken me over 2 years to convince him and now, at last, we are TTC number 2. Feel excited that we're finally giving it a go but realise at 42 it might not happen. Had problems TTC DS. Hormone levels were fine but AMH test showed my ovarian reserve was extremely poor which ruled out IVF if we couldn't conceive on our own. Fell pregnant but had a MC at 12 weeks. Got pregnant again first cycle after MC and had my lovely boy 9 months later.

So... here we go again. My DH assumes all will be well ( despite our history) but I'm less convinced. Hoping this thread will provide lots of happy stories to keep my hopes up.

jass43 Mon 22-Jul-13 20:39:53

Hi to new ones!
The Amh an fsh results are quite misleading ( fortunately). Lots of crap result people get bfps. That is why my doc does not read much into them, and I believe her. My own are hopeless, yet I conceive often enough.

Hope our pregnant ladies have all only good news. I would definitely want an early scan, but of course I am the one who would think myself out of the woods if I saw a heartbeat. But that only because I have never miscarried a heartbeat. So I really get those who would not want a early scan. I feel like I would like to postpone testing, so I would not see chemicals. But I can not, since need to do support from early days....

Anyway, my chem turned out to be an honest chem, no leftovers from blighted ovum, so doc thinks it was just a new chemical. Did betas today, will hear results tomorrow and repeat in a week, to rule out diseases wich give pos hpts without pregnancy. Can you imagine a country exists where you get an appointment fot tomorrow, ask and get an ultrasound there and then, based on your talk and no doc tries to tell you their own version of things without thoroughly testing your own version first. And all for 53 euros, us incl. I love my native country and its medical system. My friends were all on holiday, so had to go to a random doc, and it was totally ok.

hopefulgum Tue 23-Jul-13 00:00:13

Good morning all.
Calibee it is nice to see you. It is great that you ovulated on your own, but a bummer there were no swimmers. But it is great, so that when you see DH you can get straight into ttc again. I hope the time moves quickly. I know it will be hard leaving your old life behind, but a new life with your DH will be wonderful.

Welcome to guthriegirl. I love your name as I have a son called Guthrie.

I hope you don't have to ttc for to long, but whatever the time, you will have great support on this thread.

mozzamummy, so sorry about AF. I understand your dilemma about taking dd to the seaside at fertile time, but like you say, you can't keep putting life on hold, and it may be just what you need.

I am having a day off today. Crazy, as I have just returned from holidays, but it seems I didn't escape the holiday without illness after all.angry I have a fresh headcold, nasty headache and gastro too! Not impressed. I plan to stay on the couch all day with some dvd's and the telly.

At least everyone else will be at school and work, so I can just be sick and relax.

Morien Tue 23-Jul-13 13:14:10

Hello everyone, just back from a lovely week in the UK (even my Grandma's funeral was lovely in the end - a real celebration of a very full life, with loads of people there).

hopeful, poor you - hope you feel better soon.

Hello catchfox and guthriegirl, welcome.

Wow, calibee, your move is getting close now! I understand that you feel apprehensive about leaving everyone - but for a whole new life with your lovely DH grin I had to smile about your being excited in the 2WW even though your DH hadn't been around to DTD at the right time - I've done that too blush

jass, glad you've got some clarity at last and that things seem to be ok.

mozzarellamummy go on that holiday! Am sorry AF has got you.

jbrd I'm with you about wanting time to speed up. I'm 10.3 and the last 5 weeks have gone sooooo slowly. I've got my scan on Friday - am extremely nervous, so scared it's going to be dead. Trying not to think about it. Regarding early scans, I had one in both pregnancies because that's what happens here - when you find out you're pg you go to your gynae, who does an internal scan as a matter of course. Both times I've seen a heartbeat, but the second time it didn't reassure me at all as the first time I miscarried well after that.

My sister announced her pregnancy on Friday - I was at my mum's and DSis came straight from her scan to tell us the good news (she'd already told my mum at 5 weeks). I was dying to tell her I'm just behind her, but I kept quiet as I really don't want anyone to know until after the scan. It struck me, though, how it's so different for my DSis (she's nearly 39), never having had a miscarriage. She's had one easy, succesful pregnancy and has no reason to believe this will be any different. She's happy and confident, whilst I'm a doubting bag of nerves (not usual for me at all).

Meanwhile, we're getting married a week on Saturday!

guthriegirl Tue 23-Jul-13 14:50:35

Hello again and thanks for the welcome! Understand completely where you're coming from Morien. When I found out I was pregnant after my MC I had a brief moment of utter delight followed by a tsunami of anxiety. My pregnancy was, in hindsight, quite straightforward but I spent the whole time worried and convincing myself that I would stop feeling anxiety at 12 weeks, then 20, then 24 and so on. If I'm lucky enough to conceive again I know I'll be exactly the same too. Good luck with the scan and, of course, your wedding.

jass43 Tue 23-Jul-13 21:27:57

Morten, congratulations on wedding and of course the scan will be fabulous!
Reading about anxiety in pregnancy makes me think that if that is the way it's going to be after mc I am not sure I can do it. I was as Morien's sis - at 38, with my last successful pg, I told everyone at positive hpt. Did the same with my first mc, and had a lot of untelling to do after. Beurk! It was worse than actual mc then, since it was my first and I really thought it will happen in a few months time and I will walk happily away to sunset with the next pg. I remember disappointment, but no devastation at all then.

Calibee, hope your move will be smooth. And mozarellamummy, go for these holidays. It is never worth postponing life, unless you really did some procedures. But yet another cycle.... There will be next one.

hopefulgum Wed 24-Jul-13 23:46:45

Hello everyone.

I am feeling a lot better today, though not 100%, but will have to go to work as I have had two days off, any more time and I will need a doctor's certificate. I will see how things go today.

Morien how amazing that you and DS are having babies around the same time. So nice! And very exciting about your wedding so soon! Do you feel organised? I can't wait to hear all the details.

All this hoo-ha about the royal baby, and two days on the couch watching "Offspring" (a fabulous Aussie TV drama about an obstetrician and her family) has made me so broody. It is the pits being broody and having about 1% chance of getting preggers. sad I really thought that going on an overseas holiday I would embrace the idea of moving on to a different life,you know, being more free to travel, not having the responsibility of a small baby/child. I have tried to look at it that way, and even felt a bit of acceptance while away, but in all honesty, I still don't feel completely ready to move on to that next stage. Of course I don't get to make that decision ultimately, do I, as I can't control the fact that my body is older and less fertile?

I am not feeling bad about it, just noticing that my feelings towards having another child are still strongly in favour (and wishing things could be different).

I hope everyone else is doing okay. How are you feeling Jbrd? I hope this time isn't dragging too much.

How are the other pregnant ladies? Updates please....smile

mozzamummy, did you decide whether you will take DD to the seaside? It sounds like a lovely thing to do with her.

mozzarellamummy Thu 25-Jul-13 12:15:42

I will definitely go on that holiday, I still hope either me or DP can move a couple of days to meet during the fertile window.. It will be just around the anniversary of the loss of my baby so I know it will be hard anyway..
..probably I will also be freaking about school, I'll start to teach to 14 yrs old students in september.. I will have over 200 students, split in 9 classes.. how will I ever be able to remember thier names or surnames?? confused For now I'm reviewing physics and planning lessons..

I had a lovely dinner wine with DP yesterday night, leaving DD with grand parents.. it happens maybe once every two months and this time it was really nice.. I managed to control myself and didn't bother him with TTC issues ..
Diege, what about your rings?
Cali, happy to hear you again!
Jass, I'm happy you had such a good care.. In diffucult moments it's such a difference to have caring and professional people in front of you ..
A virtual pat to all the lovely bumps here!!!

hopefulgum Thu 25-Jul-13 23:46:59

mozzamummy, you will be surprised, eventually you will remember most of your students. 9 classes does seem a lot. A full time teacher here would have a maximum of about 6. At the moment I only teach 3 classes, the rest of my time I do personal tutoring to indigenous students. It is a great part of my job, very little lesson preparation, no discipline issues and usually one on one or small groups.

Yesterday I started teaching anatomy to my health Ed class, which is hilarious as I am an English teachergrin I really enjoy the Health classes though as I have always had an interest in it and I am learning too.

Your dinner with DP sounds nice. It is good to reconnect with our partners when we can.

I think I might be getting close to O time again. My DH will be enjoying extra sexual attention over the next few days. I am sad to admit that I don't really have much of an appetite when I am not close to fertile time. Anyway, I hope there's a decent egg and some good swimmers. I'd be so happy to get a bfp for a change. It has been too long.

Deige, did you get your rings off?

sparklysapphire Fri 26-Jul-13 01:58:26

I was half way through a post and the computer just decided to shut my browser so now I'm having to start again.

Morien, I hope all is well at your scan, looking forward to reading about it. How lovely your Dsis is expecting too.

JBrd, I can understand why it feels like such a long time til September for you, I thought you were further along than you are. I'm sending you vibes that this is the sticky one.

Calibee, good to hear from you, I know it must be dragging for you, but it seems like your DH Canada posting is going quite quickly, our perceptions of time can be really strange though.

Isabeller, how nice to be able to tell people and get such positive reactions. I hope your pregnancy is as dull as possible from now on.

Gum, your holiday sounds lovely despite the sickness, sorry you didn't get away with it after all.

Congratulations on your BFP edamame, and good luck.

Any luck with the rings Diege? My fingers are ok, and I take my rings off at night anyway, as I sometimes get a rash under them (no idea why), but my ankles get very swollen, especially the right one, which I've sprained a few times in the past. I also think I may have some fluid on my right knee as I can't take my weight on it in a specific place, and occasionally forget if I'm getting up off the floor or something, which is really painful. Otherwise I'm feeling ok, though a bit lethargic probably due to heat. I finished work last week, I could have done this weekend but as DH is away with work, it just seemed easier to take leave. Work itself was fine, it was the walking 4-5 miles a day (not all at once) in the heat that I was starting to struggle with, and nothing'll get me on the tube when it's really hot. I'm 35 weeks now, so I think the next few weeks will fly by.

Hi jass, mozzarella, irish, notsoold and anyone I've missed, and welcome to the newbies, I hope your stay is short.

Morien Fri 26-Jul-13 14:02:48

Back from the hospital - everything was fine grin grin grin

This morning I was so nervous I could hardly speak (DP gave up trying to distract me by talking to me and just kept squeezing my hand), and during the fairly long wait I was fighting back tears. When I got in there, all I wanted was for the sonographer to confirm that the baby was alive but instead he pointed out how wriggly it was (with hindsight, it wouldn't wriggle if it weren't alive blush ), and then he took the nuchal measurement and said it was absolutely fine (again, he wouldn't have bothered on a dead baby, presumably), and he was about to embark on further measurements when I could stand it no longer and gasped, 'but is his heart beating?', at which he laughed and said, 'not half!' I managed to croak that I'd had a MC last year, at which he patted my arm and immediately turned the sound up so we could hear the heartbeat. That was it - I burst into tears. When he'd finished he gave me another pat and said he couldn't see the least reason to be the tiniest bit worried.

Went to see the gynae afterwards just across the corridor, and he says the scan puts me a bit further along than I thought, almost 12 weeks instead of almost 11. And the other piece of good news is that there are in fact 2 places in Belgium, both in Brussels, which offer the Harmony test; he gave me their details and I've made an appointment for Wednesday morning. Same as it would have cost me in London, without the Eurostar fare smile

Anyway, how are the rest of you? I'm thinking maybe now I can go and join the 40+ pregnancy group (didn't feel ready before), but I won't be staying away from this lovely group, I don't think.

diege your rings are bothering me! Please tell us you've got them off...

sparkly I can't believe you're 35 weeks! Hope you enjoy your time off before the baby comes.

hopeful fingers crossed for that golden egg this time! You deserve it for sheer persistence apart from anything else.

How are you doing jbrd ?

Hello to everyone else!

guthriegirl Fri 26-Jul-13 14:16:17

Congratulations Morien. So pleased scan went well. I bet you're looking forward to sharing your news with your sister and other friends and family.

isadorable Fri 26-Jul-13 14:17:15

that's just great Morien - delighted for you!

Love to everyone. Been reading not much to say at the moment. My gynae was sure I didnt have a cyst (it was GP who suggested this). He gave me thorough internal and said nothing to worry about... We'll see... decided we need to put some effort into ttc or we might regret it later. Awaiting delivery of DHEA...

hopefulgum Fri 26-Jul-13 22:47:01

Morien, that is wonderful news. I am so pleased for you. 12 weeks already, wow, that seems to have flown. Yes, join the pregnancy group as you are PREGNANT!!grin But don't stay away, I always miss ladies who go off to the pregnancy thread and don't come back (I have seen so many leave,as I still wait patiently).

Hi, Sparkly, if you are on Mat leave, then you must be getting close to delivery. How many weeks are you now?

Isadorable, I hope the DHEA helps. I tried it for a while as I had heard great things about it affecting egg quality. I hope it works for you.

I think I am ovulating quite early (I am day 12 now) as I had egg white yesterday, and O pain last night (after DTD, which means it was good timing). I know I should go again tonight, but my DH will start asking questions after such a drought (about three weeksshock). We are going out to friends for dinner, so I will have a couple of drinks and perhaps it will all just fall into place? At least I have had a couple of goes at it at the right time.

It is the weekend here, and we are back into the being busy. DD has a netball game today and I will swim laps while she plays, then out to dinner tonight. Tomorrow we are out for lunch. Somewhere between all this I need to do the laundry, tidy up and finish unpacking.

Love to all.

hopefulgum Fri 26-Jul-13 22:47:41

Oops, sorry Sparkly, I see you are 35 weeks. Only 5 weeks to go!thanks

notsoold Sat 27-Jul-13 15:38:17

Delurking....

Hi everyone!!!

Hopeful....oh my!! You are having a busy Saturday!!! I personally think that a drink sounds like a good idea!!! Xxx

Isadorable... Good news! No cyst!!! When can you go back tp ttc??? Xxx

Morien.....I second hopeful suggestion ...come and join the pregnancy thread. Well done!!! Xxx

Jbrd hello my lovely!! How are you doing???xxx

Sparkly 35 weeks...wow!!! Almost there!!! Xxx

Cali....how is everything going??xxx

Diege...what happened about the ring???? Xxx

Irish hope you ate ok<3 xxx

A big hello to everyone else.!!!
I am 27 weeks pg now and diagnosed as borderline diabetic during the pregnancy. Changing my diet this week.
Also I was told that I will not go over 40 weeks and extra scans to avoid a big baby.
I thought that ds was big because of dh but was told that 9'9 was away too big for a Brazilian girl. As baby 1 (dd) as 7'7 and ds 9'9 they are convinced that this will be bigger .....I don't know....will see

Take care all of you and I am a faithful reader and lurker here!!!

Have a great weekend!!!
Xxx
Ds and dh are in Gibraltar, but never mind because it is sunny in Manchester and I am having a rest from housework!!!

Isabeller Sat 27-Jul-13 17:01:07

Lovely to read everyones's news and beaming positive thoughts to everyone ttc.

I'm very tired but feeling well. Rather a lot going on and the car died a death this morning, oh dear. Nuchal scan on Wednesday, wondering if I can cycle...

diege Sat 27-Jul-13 20:57:38

Hello! Lovely to catch up with everyone's news - morien what brilliant news, you must feel over the moon xx
isabeller I'm sure everything will be fine at the nuchal - more likely to be so than not. I can remember how anxious the wait is though xx
Gum I would say a few drinks at friends and then back for the business would seem very natural - plus as you say swimmers should be in place anyway wink...
notsoold interesting about the borderline diabetes and concerns about a big baby. Concerns were also raised with me as after three 7 pounders dc4 was 9lb 11 - back to 7ib 12 with dc5 though, so not a forgone conclusion that your next will be bigger still. Is the nutritician plan you're on quite restrictive?
sparkly wow, your pregnancy has really flown! I don't blame you at all for starting leave now, especially with the prospect of an overheated commute on the tube. I am theoretically carrying on until 37 weeks but can't see myself completing the commute tbh - the work is fine, just to getting there and back on public transport!
Well, the rings....still on but no better. They don't hurt much, and the blood is getting through, so tempted just to see it out unless they seem to get worse. Not the most attractive sight in the world and certainly a talking point. 28 weeks on Tuesday and seeing consultant so will ask then.
Storm on the way here - yay!!!

notsoold Sat 27-Jul-13 23:31:05

Isabeller... Isn't the nuchal scan the one at 12 weeks??? If it is you will need a full bladder, won't you??? So if you just get to the hospital a lit earlier you can top up there. Xxx I offer my hand as I was a bag of nerves on the day!!!

Diege....very restrictive on the things I like... Fruit mainly and starchy things, and I am missing my baking....wellsmile

Good luck with the ring!!! Mine came out on the 8 week!!!

Isabeller Sun 28-Jul-13 23:34:01

I will be nearly 14 weeks notsoold on Wednesday so right near the limit of when it can be done I think. I've got GTT in the morning then scan in the afternoon so I can check if I need a full bladder but can't remember it being mentioned before.

waves sleepily smile

CaliBee Mon 29-Jul-13 08:41:52

Hello to all
So lovely to see all our pregnant ladies are coming along nicely.....although I expect the recent heat has been a killer.
So af due for me imminently. Its all very weird though, as since mc (January) I dont seem to get any symptoms of pms. I used to get seriously sore boobs, this month I have had absolutely nothing. I'm beginning to worry there is something else amiss. Any ideas anyone?
I'm still in this limbo land between moving...dh still in Canada (I haven't even spoken to him in over a week) however the end is in sight, just three weeks until he is home. I wonder if I will recognise him lol.

CaliBee Mon 29-Jul-13 08:43:55

Oh...and I've now lost 2 stone. Maybe he won't recognise me hehe.

Morien Mon 29-Jul-13 09:52:34

2 stone!!! That's fantastic, calibee, well done! Does your DH know? As for AF after MC, of course you could always get it checked out to give you some peace of mind, but that's pretty much what happened to me - it took ages for my cycle to be recognisable as my cycle again.

Isabeller all the best for your nuchal scan!

notsoold poor you with your restrictive diet - it'll be worth it, though wink

diege Mon 29-Jul-13 10:53:27

Wow calibee 2 stones is a sensational loss! Can I ask if you followed any particular eating plan?
Good luck with your scan isabeller. I was ok with an empty bladder with mine, but wouldn't have been if at NHS - depends on the machines they use I think confused. My nuchal was at 13 w 6 days which I think is the final day it's accurate - I was told to expect it to measure bigger than it would at say 12 weeks, simply because baby was bigger - worth bearing in mind.
Hi morien, how are you feeling?
Off to brave the cinema with the 4dcs at home (dc 5 cruelly left in nursery grin). Will def need a lie down when I get home...
Love to all xxx

JBrd Mon 29-Jul-13 13:49:45

Hello everyone, just quickly popping my head round the door <<waves>>

Not much to report - I'm still pregnant smile But coming up to the point where both my mcs started to kick off, so feeling very twitchy confused
I'm 6+5 today, still so early, and still worried it'll all go wrong again. I'm seeing the consultant and the mw this week, so at least that's good news. I've not made it to my booking apt in both my last pregnancies... Getting very superstitious.

Sorry for not name-checking, but really need to get on with work!

Hope everyone's OK!

hopefulgum Mon 29-Jul-13 23:26:22

Good morning ladies!

Calibee that's an amazing weight loss! Well done. Want to give us some details of how you did it? Your DH will have trouble recognising yougrinI am guessing with such a huge weight loss you will need to purchase new clothes, perhaps a cute little underwear ensemblewink

Jbrd, I am glad your pregnancy is still ticking along. I completely understand your feeling twitchy. I hope the next few weeks pass trouble free.

Deige, how did your trip to the cinema go? You will need a lie down when you get in - you earnt it! Which movie did you see? I recently saw Dispicable Me 2, which was fun.

Not much going on here. Yesterday was my day off and I had a good going over the kitchen. Scrubbed it from top to bottom as it was pretty awful. Felt so good to have that done. It was also my first "fast day". I had to keep busy. I am trying the Michael Moseley "fast diet". It is supposed to contribute to a longer life, less chance of getting diabetes, cancer, hypertension (all of which are my heritage). Honestly though, I am doing it to move the 10 kilos I still need to lose to get into the healthy BMI range. However, if it seems to interfere with ovulation (I will find out next cycle) I will stop. The reading I have done on it is contradictory. I have read that it does no harm to fertility and in fact can enhance it, but also have read that whilst the body is experiencing "famine" it is unlikely you will be fertile. I don't consider the fast diet to be a "famine" as you eat normally for five days a week.I have only done one day, so we shall see how it goes. hmm

How is everyone else going? Is anyone getting close to testing?

I am only 3 DPO. Sore biscuit biscuit 's but I seem to have them every cycle. Fertility Friend says if I were to get preggers this cycle, I would be due April 19. I have had three successful pregnancies that were due April/May, so I am hoping that it bodes well for me.

Off to rub my beautiful silver fertility statues I bought in Lombok. (Yes, I am completely bonkers!confused)

diege Tue 30-Jul-13 09:06:13

Morning! Hold on in there jbrd - can understand your anxieties totally but it will help I'm sure to see the mw/consultant this week, if only to voice any anxieties you might have. Might they do an early scan?
Gum It was indeed Despicable Me 2 we saw grin. I thought it was pretty good, although I did fall asleep for a few mins midway through blush Was impressed that ds1 (age 4) sat through it all and seemed quite taken with the whole thing - a record for him! Re: the fasting diet, I wouldn;t say it would have an effect on ovulation. I know a little about nutrition, having some qualification in it years ago, and do remember reading that it takes more than we might imagine for dietary changes for Westerners to effect fertility (ie., prevent ovulation). Something about losing a (quite substantial) percentage of body mass which I don't think would necessarily happen with the plan you're on. Sounds quite tough though - any leeway for treats?
Have been up since 5,30 this morning and have been at my desk since 8.30...feel very sleepy due to staying up to watch documentary on the 'baby born in a concentration camp'...Why can that wide-awake seciond wind feeling you get late at night never extend to the morning??!!

Isabeller Tue 30-Jul-13 15:44:37

What kind of diet do you have to follow notsoold? I am starting to feel anxious about the Glucose test tomorrow and just want to have a calmer idea of what I'll have to do if it did turn out positive for gestational diabetes. After seeing a dietician yesterday my brain is awash worries about podge induced problems.

You must be so looking forward to getting reacquainted with DH Calibeewink

Good luck with the new regime hopeful, just before BFP I found out about and started the fast diet and I wouldn't have stopped except for all the strong advice not to diet in pregnancy. It was definitely starting to work and was something I could stick to despite my lack of regular routine. Unfortunately I discovered it too late to get my prepregnancy weight to a better level hence my present worries.

Do you think it might be possible to lose fat in pregnancy with a high nutrition restricted calorie diet diege?

Isabeller Tue 30-Jul-13 15:45:55

Ps meant to say crossing fingers for you JBrd that the next few weeks - and months - pass smoothly xx

diege Tue 30-Jul-13 17:27:34

Hi isabeller! To be honest the only eating 'regime' I would recommend in pregnancy would be Slimming World - it's recommended by Royal College of Midwives and focuses on low fat but generally quite volumous amount of food - treats allowed too! I have followed it between pregnancies and lost quite a lot of weight, and am also trying my best to follow it now (there are modifications for pregnant women). I'm not sure I'd recommend a calorie-restricted diet in pregnancy, but I do know women who have actually ended up lighter than pre-pregnancy/put on minimal weight in pregnancy with SW, and also lost body fat.
Good luck with the GI test! Had mine a few weeks back and all well, though did struggle a bit with the fasting!

hopefulgum Wed 31-Jul-13 00:11:37

Good Morning ladies.

I am on my second fast day today and I think it might be a struggle. I have a blood test this morning (just routine to check cholesterol and blood sugar), so I can't even have a cup of tea. I could get through my fast day before with copious amounts of black tea. Also had a horrible night's sleep as I seem to have sciatica.The pain is awful, all down my left leg.It seems so silly to have it when I haven't done anything to cause it. It started as I was pushing the shopping trolley around the supermarketconfused So feeling tired is not a great way to do a fast, I always eat to compensate for tiredness, today will be tough.

To add to my woes, I also have to take DS to the doctor this morning as he hasn't been well for a while now. He has had a cough since the beginning of our holiday and now has intermittent fevers and headaches. I do hope it is nothing tropical and sinister like malaria, though I think malaria would give you constant fevers, wouldn't it? There I go catastrophising again. So it is another day off for me today, which means I have to sort out some lesson plans...bugger.

On the up side, I did have a nice temperature rise this morning.

I would like to take anti-inflammatories for the sciatica, but I recently read there needs to be a certain amount of inflammation for implantation, so I am afraid to take them in case it stuffs up implantation chances. I know it is a long shot, but I would like to give myself the best chance. SO I guess I will be taking paracetemol all day. the pain of sciatica is just so horrible. I wonder if a chiropractor could help me?

Oh dear, sorry this post is all about mesad

Isabeller, I know of some ladies who lost weight during pregnancy just by eating a sensible, balanced diet and leaving out junk. I always find that hard when pregnant due to the massive cravings and food aversions I have. How long did you try the "fast" diet for? Hopefully I will get a BFP shortly after starting it toogrin

Right, I better think of something for my classes today!

diege Wed 31-Jul-13 08:39:13

Hi Gum! Hope you're feeling ok; quite a full-on day for you - sciatica is the worst sad. Could you try codeine-based meds? They're fine in pregnancy (except at the very end) and seem to have a quite a good effect on moderate to severe pain (for me at least). Maybe you could have a quick word with the doc when taking ds?
28 weeks here today; always feels like a milestone! Have the dentists this morning which I get irrationally worried about, but am also taking dd3 so need to have a brave face for her sake hmm

mozzarellamummy Wed 31-Jul-13 08:45:04

gum sorry you're feeling so rubbish..I also had sciatica and couldn't sleep properly.. finally it stopped without any particular effort, so I hope it will be the same for you! And hope everything will be fine with DS too, please update us..

Isabeller when pregnant with dd1 I was slightly overweight and my skinny gynae pushed me to lose weight, after her birth I was 7 kg under my pre-pregnancy weight. I cut off all sweet stuff and reduced bread and pasta.. I tried to eat a good amount of meat even if I'm not a fan..and I ate huge amounts of melon and watermelon to keep me hydrated..
Now the weight has come back but that's another story.. I'd really like to lose one stone mainly to improve long term health.. I also started 5:2 diet but then stopped because worried about ovulation issues (actually I needed a good excuse to stop anyway!!)
I should be on my fertile days and my EWCM seems to have come back after a couple of months break..so I can't avoid stupidly raising my hopes.. However yesterday I was so tired that I started to worry if I ever manage to get pregnant I may not have the energy for raising properly another child .. my 2 yrs old is now rather energy consuming.. confused.. Has any of you ever had such thoughts?

CaliBee Wed 31-Jul-13 12:12:10

Morning all.
Sorry to hear you and ds both not feeling well hopeful..I hope all goes well at Dr's today.

is my sister had such severe hyperemesis during her pregnancy that she was half a stone lighter postnatally.

I confess to losing my weight using the cambridge diet...I said I would never do it again after piling it back on after losing £.5 st 3 years ago....but on reflection of course I will pile weight on if I eat the crap I do. This is a quick fix to give me a kick start...once DH home the healthy eating and exercise plan begin in ernest. I have tried the 5:2 plan but I'm ana impatient soul who needs to see fast results to get the umph to carry on.

Question for you ladies (bearing in mind no clomid this cycle and NO sex booo) I am 16dpo with a sustained temp shift following 2 pos opk's. Temp still up, mild cramps but no af yet...hmmmm. My Lp is usually 13 days one or two 14 dayers over the last year but never this long. Any ideas?? I do have some mild cramping, boobs are perhaps the teensy eensiest bit sore but nothing else.

jass43 Wed 31-Jul-13 14:36:28

Mozarella, I am on holidays pretty much in the middle of nowhere, lots of beach, sunshine, playing in sand with my 4 and 8 yos, and I catch myself thinking a lot about my ability to grow through the early (first 6, I think ) years of childrearing. But it only gives me a relaxing holiday, back on the wagon in September, I guess. Meanwhile eating all the stuff I want, running occasionally, swimming and doing nothing. Also forgetting about Internet - but still came by to see all pregnancies progressing nicely. Every pregnant lady here adds to my happy mind nowadays, I have to say. And I bumped into school friend who has a first child aged 11mo, so really last minute decision to have some family, and She was in such a regretting mood about not having more. I said She still can, but she preferred to keep herself ready to the negative scenario, in case no new pregnancies. Realize every day more and more I am happy as I am......

Isabeller Wed 31-Jul-13 22:10:20

Utterly knackering day at hospital but excellent results. Scan good, no gestational diabetes found, dietician approved modified 5:2. flowers to all xx

hopefulgum Wed 31-Jul-13 23:06:21

Hi lovely ladies. Thanks for your thoughts. I am fine really, just having a whinge yesterday.

It seems that the painkillers will do the trick, and I did resort to anti-inflammatories last night. I slept very well with no pain at all. And I am up this morning without pain too. Fingers crossed it is better (though I doubt it). I went for a long swim last night while DD was at netball training. My leg hurt a bit while I swam, but I was pain free afterwards for about an hour, so perhaps that helped?

Saw the doctor about DS (didn't even cross my mind to discuss my woes) and she said he has a very red throat and an upper respiratory tract infection. She didn't prescribe antibiotics, stating it was caused by a virus. But we are to keep an eye on him, particular the intermittent fevers as we have just returned from Lombok, and there's a chance of malaria. I don't think he has it, but we'll get him checked out asap if the fevers continue. I think I'll send him to school today and see how he goes.

Mozza, I often have those same thoughts when I am tired. But I had them when I was ttc DS too, and though there have been some tough days, dragging my arse around the place, you do manage and I still feel that it has been so worthwhile. He is almost 5 now and not a day goes by where I don't feel 100% grateful to have him in my life. I am so glad I badgered encouraged my DH to have a vasectomy reversal and to ttc my little boy. He's brought so much joy to our family. I suppose that is why I haven't given up ttc again. I just know in my heart that it would be wonderful for our family to have another little person join us.

Isabeller, I am so pleased to hear that all is wellgrin Please tell me about your modified 5:2, I'd love to hear about it.

I managed my second fast day quite well, though after swimming I did feel very hungry. I think I may have gone a bit over the 500 calories as I had a banana at the end of the day.But I don't feel bad about it, I did expend a bit of energy swimming a kilometer.I know on the diet they say not to factor that in, but I don't care. You have to do what works for you.

Calibee, I am curious about the Cambridge diet. I've never heard of it, but I will google it soon.It sounds like it definitely works.

Back to work today. I am feeling increasingly disorganised after having three days off in the last week and a half. I have no idea what I'll be teaching today. Flying by the seat of my pants I think. Then I am driving some of the netball girls to a nearby town for a game. It is going to be a long day, but at least I won't be fastingsmile

diege Thu 01-Aug-13 21:00:51

Hope the class went well gum - some of my best lectures are 'seat of the pants' ones grin. Has the sciatica kept away? Hope ds is ok - sounds like quite a nasty virus.
Had consultant appointment today - all ok, though placenta's still low...consultant convinced it will move up by 34 weeks scan though hmm. Baby fine though, measuring a week ahead and still head down...would be sod's law that the only one of my babies head down at 34 weeks will have a blasted placenta blocking the exit route grin
Hope everyone is ok - the sun has made an very unwelcome and sneaky return here today: nearly 30 degrees!

hopefulgum Fri 02-Aug-13 00:27:45

Hi Diege, classes went well, thankfully. You know I think it helps to have a relaxed,positive attitude. Things always seem to go well when I am feeling "cruisey". Actually, a funny thing happened. Whilst my year nine class were happily working away I was having a quick look at mumsnet at my desk (purely research for one of the topics hmm) when the school psych stealthily appeared at my side (looking for a student), so she would have got an eyeful of what I was doing. Opps! grin

DS seems okay - he went to kindy and made it through the day, so hopefully he'll continue to mend. He will be at daycare today, which he loves and was cross about missing it on Wednesday.

I took DD and friends to their netball game yesterday. Gosh, I had a headache after traveling 50 km with four teenage girls in the car. I should have put earplugs in.Anyway, the game went very well, they played the hardest team in their grade and only lost by 2 points. They work together as a team so well, it's lovely to watch.

I can't believe I actually slept in until 6:45 this morning. I almost never do.And usually I feel like jumping out of bed, but today I felt like I could have snuggled for a lot longer. The sciatica seems to be just an echo now - dull and hardly there. Which is miraculous because it was so uncomfortable. Fingers crossed it stays away.

I am glad to hear all is ok with baby. Are you feeling worried about the low lying placenta? I suppose in your shoes I would feel a bit concerned, but also hopeful that the consultant knows his stuff and the placenta will be out of the way by the time baby is ready to be born.

Hello to everyone else. I must get moving, after my big sleep in this morning, not much time to get ready for work. confused

diege Fri 02-Aug-13 17:01:33

Hi gum! Totally agree about mental attitude really effecting how a teaching session goes. If I'm stressed/worried about something and can't put on a brave face it really does influence how the session goes. Have learnt from experience and try to be super positive when I go through the door; it's only IT fails that I really struggle with! Hope your session well today - sounds like you needed your sleep; maybe the hold catching up with you x
Re: placenta, I would be quite anxious if I had to have a section, purely based on the bad experience of one that I had with dc4. There's absolutely nothing I can do though that will effect the outcome, so trying to take some comfort from that...At least it would make childcare arrangements a little easier knowing when baby was going to be born!

TigerseyeMum Sun 04-Aug-13 10:23:49

Hello, can I sneak onto this thread? I am 3 months off 40 but my DH is 41 now. We have been ttc for 3 years on and off, no NHS help in this part of the uk unfortunately :-( so I am having a lap and dye in September as I have severe endo (had it since teens).

Recently we stopped ttc as the scans showed that one ovary was embedded in my bowel (the scan doctor thought I'd had it removed!!!) and I've had a log of pain. The consultant is an endo specialist and has done bowel surgery before but I don't know if he's planning doing any with me or if he'll stick to the lap and dye.

I feel too nervous to try getting pregnant with an ovary stuck in my bowel, it hurts a bit and I imagine having a baby growing inside of me might hurt more. I could be wrong though.

I fluctuate between really wanting a baby and thinking it would be a crazy thing to do!!! My DH really wants children badly though, although we have been together 20 years and he used to say he wasn't bothered.

Anyway, that's me. I don't post here much but I lurk about a bit. I can't really talk to anyone irl so it's nice to bob on and off at times and catch up. Hope everyone's having a good Sunday. I gotta start work in a mo :-(

Isabeller Sun 04-Aug-13 10:49:09

I only have a little experience with 5:2 hopeful.

I was on 5:2 for less than 3 months and it took several tries to manage 500 calories without feeling uncomfortably ravenous by the end of the day but I lost 10lbs which was my first genuine loss in over a year. For me the pattern of Monday and Wednesday 500 calories as close as possible and Friday 500-1000 most weeks meant I could handle unexpected or social events without losing the structure. I stopped as soon as my pregnancy was confirmed.

I found information about dieting and weight loss/restricted gain in pregnancy and pregnant women safely doing Ramadan fasting which made me think I could probably do something positive. The NHS dietician I saw is very up on current research and has a mission to help the obesely pregnant manage weight gain. She thinks dietary guidelines for overweight pregnant women could look very different in a few years.

What I'm trying, with her agreement, is restricting to 1000 calories on 'fasting' days and dividing it into 5 or 6 portions throughout the day instead of, as before, fasting completely until 3pm or later.

I am also paying very close attention to what I eat on the other days, logging everything on MFP and going for the best nutritional quality I can manage. Previously the fasting days reduced my interest in unhealthy food altogether but I was eating what I wanted on non fasting days without logging anything.

Sorry for being a bit long winded. Wish me luck smile

Isabeller Sun 04-Aug-13 10:58:01

Welcome Tigers smile

TigerseyeMum Sun 04-Aug-13 12:02:51

Thank you!

Feeling a bit odd today as AF is due tomorrow and I am grumpy, tired and with sore boobage. Definite sign!!!

JBrd Sun 04-Aug-13 14:50:55

Ladies, a quick update from me. I had a reassurance scan this morning, and all they could see was an empty sac. No foetal pole, no heartbeat. Measuring 4 weeks, but I'm 7+4, and there is no doubt about my dates.

I am utterly crushed and heartbroken.
This is my third miscarriage in a row, and I don't know where I'll go from here.

Isabeller Sun 04-Aug-13 15:12:32

There are no adequate words JBrd, so sad and thinking of you sad

diege Sun 04-Aug-13 17:45:42

Oh jbrd I'm devastated for you sad That must have come as such a shock for you, I'm so so sorry xxxx

Rowgtfc72 Sun 04-Aug-13 17:59:11

JBrd, so very sorry x (lurk on here and have had everything crossed for you)

isadorable Sun 04-Aug-13 18:11:25

jBrd - I am so sad for you. So hard to deal with again. Take care and I hope you're getting lots of support irl.

mumalah Sun 04-Aug-13 19:17:30

Hi everyone, haven't posted for ages but i still catch up everyday!
Jbrd So sorry to hear your sad news, take care of yourselfxxx
While im on here i will update
No action taking place here, have had bleeding from cd11, now on cd 22 and frankly fed up! This has not happened before so i have no idea whats going on. Maybe it is menopause? Any advice gratefully received.

Irishmammybread Sun 04-Aug-13 20:30:34

JBrd I'm so sorry to hear your news, it's so incredibly sad , I know how devastated you must feel.
I really hoped this time it would work out for you.
Thinking of you xxx

hopefulgum Sun 04-Aug-13 23:03:33

Oh Jbrd, I am so sorry. Of course you are devastated. How utterly terrible to have your hopes dashed like that.((hugs))

Welcome Tigerseyemum. I hope the lap and dye helps.Could you ask your consultant to remove some of the endo? I can understand your reluctance to get pregnant if you are in pain.

Isabeller, the adapted 5:2 sounds very sensible for a pregnant woman.

Today is my third fast day, and I am glad because I have been a bit lazy with my eating - I am usually pretty good about eating healthy food, but in a way, the fasting diet has made me feel more relaxed about it and I have been eating sweets and cakes etc, which I don't usually do. So I need to sort that out. Otherwise the fast days are a bit of a waste of time.

I am 9 dpo today and I did a first response test. I know it is very early, but in the past....anyway, it was clearly negative, and although I have my usual pregnancy symptoms, I am starting to believe they are my usual PMS symptoms because they happen so often. I truly believe that we may be catching the egg often, but the quality is bad,so they don't implant. I could be wrong, but I distinctly remember the pregnancy symptoms from my 9 pregnancies (5 THB's) and I often have those same symptoms.

It is sad that I can no longer trust my body to give me the right signals, but that's just something I need to come to terms with. I get disappointed every time, but I prefer this to having a bfp and miscarrying, that is much, much harder.

mumalah, perhaps you should get that bleeding checked out? It is possible to have a period start on day 11, but it shouldn't last longer that normal. The menopause, or at least perimenopause, will cause heavier periods, but that is usually due to longer periods of time between periods, so the lining builds up for longer. Of course with the perimenopause,anything is possibleconfused

notsoold Mon 05-Aug-13 03:53:37

Jbrd....so sorry for you!!! I really hope that in Rl people are giving you hugs and support!!!
Xxxx

TigerseyeMum Mon 05-Aug-13 12:42:24

Jbrd so sorry about your news. Will you be offered any support, counselling? X

Morien Mon 05-Aug-13 12:47:56

jbrd I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could say something that would help, but we all know that's impossible. I hope you're getting lots of RL support.

We got married on Saturday - had a lovely day. Civil ceremony at our local town hall, followed by lunch for family on our terrace at home - we got caterers in so we didn't need to do anything. Later on friends joined us for a fantastic buffet from the same caterers (which we're still eating!), and it was exactly the relaxed, friendly affair that we wanted...except for the dash to A&E at 9.30pm with DSS(4) screaming in agony after a fall on the trampoline confused Fortunately one of the wedding guests is a doctor at the hospital and she pulled some strings to get us seen quickly - so we were back at the party by 11.30pm, with DSS's leg in plaster.

My mum & stepdad, sister & BIL & their DD(2) were here for a few days, all staying with us, but they left this morning - and shortly afterwards DH took DSCs to their mum's for the week, so feeling a bit empty now... We're not planning a honeymoon as such but we're thinking we might go somewhere for a night or 2 this week while I'm still on leave, to stop this feeling of 'that's it, it's all over'.

CaliBee Mon 05-Aug-13 20:52:26

Oh jbrd I'm so very sorry. You must be devstated. Big hug for you xx

Congrats morien it sounds like a wondeful day...similar to my wedding in June. Have to say it seems like forever ago now.

On a positive note....less than 2 weeks until he is home. Yeeehaaaa.
Another 6lbs off this morning, making a grand total of 2st 8lbs. Feeling gooood!

mozzarellamummy Mon 05-Aug-13 21:00:40

jbrd I have no words either .. Just sending you hugs..I'm really sorry..
morien your wedding sounded lovely..congratulations flowers

Irishmammybread Mon 05-Aug-13 21:07:51

Congratulations Morien ! What was your dress like?
Sounds like you had a lovely day, apart from the trip to A&E. Glad it was all sorted out so quickly,what exactly did your DSS break?
When we were in children's A&E earlier in the year they had a large display on the wall in the waitingroom documenting all the risks of trampolining and listing the number of injuries they had seen over the previous 12 mths as a result. The girls have a trampoline at Grandma's so it's made me much more wary letting them on it!
Hope you have a lovely few days away together this week, it's not all over, it's the start of a wonderful future married life together!

Gum sorry about your BFN, but 9dpo is early...
It is cruel though how our bodies can deceive us with similar symptoms leading up to AF as in early pregnancy, it's just a waiting game.

Welcome Tigerseye !

Mumalah as gum says it's probably worth seeing your doctor about the bleeding?

JBrd thinking of you today xxx

Irishmammybread Mon 05-Aug-13 21:12:37

CaliBee that's impressive weight loss, hope your DH recognises you when he gets back! You must be looking forward so much to seeing him again, hope the reunion makes up for the long period of absence ! When do you make the move to NI?

hopefulgum Mon 05-Aug-13 23:16:35

Good Morning Ladies.

thanks thanks Congratulations Morien!thanksthanks Your wedding sounded wonderful. Sorry about the broken leg, what a drama! We have had a trampoline for over twenty years and five kids, and it seems like all our friends have had kids with a breakage due to the tramp, but not in this family, not a single injury (touch wood).

Wow, Calibee, your weightloss is amazing. Well done you. I checked out the Cambridge diet, but I just couldn't do the shake(drink) thing. I think I would probably cheat on a diet like that because my brain would insist I had only had a drink and would want to chew something!hmm

I did another fast day yesterday and found it quite hard as I felt a bit sick when I got overly hungry, so I actually had more than 500 cals, but it was still low. My immediate thought was it might be because I am pregnant (I remember that feeling from the first trimester). I was also so tired in the afternoon, and eventually went to sleep at about 7:30, that made me think, maybe I am pregnant? But this morning my temperature has dropped a bit, so I haven't bothered with a test. I have a feeling this month is a bust too.

I continue to have a little hope, but realistically I know if I happen to get pregnant it will be a miracle. Still, why shouldn't I have a miracle?

And then of course, that is just the first of many hurdles for a 40+ mum.

Despite all that, I still want a THB. If I had a supportive partner I would definitely go for egg donation and ivf, but in my case it has to be all natural.

Have a good day everyone.

Sending a whole lot of love your way Jbrd.bear

sparklysapphire Mon 05-Aug-13 23:19:35

JBrd, I'm very very sorry, I hope you are getting lots of RL support. I know it's early days, but is there any chance of any investigation now you've had 3 consecutive m/cs? Sending you hugs.

Morien congratulations on your wedding, it sounds like it was exactly what you wanted (apart from the hospital visit, obviously).

Wow, Calibee, well done on the weight loss! I hope the next couple of weeks fly by for you and you have a lovely reunion with your DH.

Hopeful, I hope your DS is feeling a bit better.

Irish, nice to see you.

Hi to everyone. I'm doing ok, much better now it's less hot!

Morien Tue 06-Aug-13 08:55:34

Yay, calibee! I always think that whenever it gets to under 2 weeks, whatever it is you're waiting for is practically here.

Irish I had no idea about the dangers of trampolining, but since Saturday several people have made similar comments to yours. Shame, as it's the best thing we've ever bought for them - all 3 of them love it and play on it together for hours. They're almost 9, almost 5 and just 3, so it's hard to find things that all of them will do. Anyway, even DSS is not deterred - the day after his accident he said, 'Morien, can I go on the trampoline? I promise I'll only jump on one leg' grin Fortunately there's no way he can climb up on to it with his plaster, or else I'm sure he'd have been there.

He didn't actually break anything, luckily. I wonder if it's what we call a greenstick fracture in English - an adult would have broken the bone, but not a child, apparently, because it's a place just below the knee where a child's bone isn't yet formed properly. He goes back to the hospital in a week and they hope to be able to remove the cast then. It could have been much worse!

I didn't wear a wedding dress; I wore a knee-length, sleeveless Ted Baker shift dress, navy blue with a dark gold brocade pattern underlaid. You can hardly see the gold close up but it's really visible on photographs and looks much nicer than I've made it sound!

Sorry, this is a very me post, but I'm just answering your questions!

Irishmammybread Tue 06-Aug-13 10:34:18

Morien your dress sounds lovely and I'm sure is something you can wear again.
Glad the fracture wasn't too serious, children seem to heal very quickly at that age. He musn't have been in too much pain if he wanted to go back on the trampoline again so soon, I can just imagine him trying to jump on one leg!
My DDs still go on their trampoline,I just warn them to be careful, but you can't keep them in bubblewrap,they still need to have some freedom and fun!

Hi sparkly ,you've not got much longer to go now ,have you?!

JBrd Tue 06-Aug-13 13:13:34

Thank you all for your kind words, I really appreciate it.

After having a bit of a meltdown in the EPU on Sunday, I'm now feeling numb and dazed, like walking through cotton wool. Feeling lost and disorientated.

You invest so must emotionally into a pregnancy, regardless of how early on it is... All the plans I've been making (you know, the 'I'll be that far along when this happens/I'll stop working in XXX/what holidays can or can't I do before the EDD' etc) have now gone down the drain again, and I cannot muster any strength or motivation to re-adjust them at the moment.

My boss has been great - I told her the news yesterday, and I more or less now have carte blanche at work. Which is good to know, in case I have to drop out at short notice. But right now, being at work is the only thing that seems real, I can just work my way down the to-do list and tick things off.

No idea how long this will all last. I'm not bleeding, in fact, I have no physical issues at all at the moment. Just hope that it won't be such a long and drawn out affair like with my first mc...

sparklysapphire Tue 06-Aug-13 23:18:30

JBrd, I hope things resolve quickly now, and it must be a relief that your boss is so understanding.

Irish, I'm 37 weeks today so officially full term I think. But I'm expecting to go overdue again - or as overdue as they'll let me, so if LO decides to arrive early, I'm going to get quite a shock even though I know it's a possibility.

Irishmammybread Tue 06-Aug-13 23:22:25

JBrd I know exactly what you mean about that numb feeling when you have a MMC, it's like suspended reality,you really feel in limbo.
Even early in a pregnancy you can't help making plans, I think from the moment you get that BFP you start bonding so it's heart breaking to suffer a loss,at any stage. It's difficult to even grieve and start to come to terms with it while waiting to miscarry, it's like everything's on hold.
I admire you for keeping going at work, it's good you have an understanding boss.
Are you booked to go back for another scan if you don't start naturally?
When I found out at 10 weeks the baby had died the previous week I opted to see if I would miscarry naturally and was booked for a rescan to reassess 2 weeks later. The day of the scan I started to bleed heavily though when I was scanned the sac was still there,it was another 2-3 days before this passed. I suppose it's hard to predict when you might start bleeding. I hope the physical side resolves soon for you and you have the time,space and support to heal and come to terms with the emotional fallout xxx

Irishmammybread Tue 06-Aug-13 23:27:30

sparkly hope the next few weeks pass quickly for you and LO doesn't keep you waiting too long. Is your bag packed now just in case?!

hopefulgum Wed 07-Aug-13 00:04:32

Jbrd, I know exactly what you mean about making plans. Even if you have had previous miscarriages it is normal and natural to plan. We do try to protect ourselves don't we, but we cannot help but love our babies as soon as we know that we are pregnant.

I am glad you are able to work. As you say, it is straight forward and gives you something to focus on. I hope things resolve quickly for you as I know how difficult it can be when it takes a long time.

Sparkly, how exciting that it is nearly birth time. By this stage I'll bet you are ready for your baby to come? How has your DH been? Has he gotten better at accepting the baby?

11 DPO today and another BFN. Oh well...no point in kidding myself that there's still time for a bfp. I just know if I don't have a hint of a line by now then there won't be a line. I am sick of my body leading me astray with very sore boobs, feelings of nausea here and there, extreme tiredness and extreme intolerance. Can't I just have a 2ww that has no symptoms at all so that I can be hopeless instead of hopeful ??? hmm

My days of ttc are numbered. It's been a long time - 4 years- and I think I will stop all things ttc on my 47th birthday. That's only about three cycles awaysad

It is difficult to let go of such a huge dream, but little by little, I think I am.

Well, another busy day ahead. Work, staff meeting after school,netball training and swimming laps...I'll be asleep on the couch at 7pm again tonight shock

TigerseyeMum Wed 07-Aug-13 14:56:33

Lots of sadness around today :-( Ttc can be such an emotional roller coaster.

I'm due on 2 days ago and it drives me crazy because my AF symptoms are identical to pregnancy symptoms!!! Massively sore boobs (they wake me up when I roll over!), extremely tired, sore belly, generally grumpy. I have to try not to think about it otherwise I'll start picking out baby names and browsing Brora kids clothes!

Back to work, must stop daydreaming...

sparklysapphire Thu 08-Aug-13 11:11:34

Irish, no I haven't packed my bag! I know I should have, but I haven't even got everything I need for me, though I think I have for the baby. Something for later this week I think.

Gum, sorry it's not your month again. Sadly DH has not come round, we're in the process of having a big sort out, and he said something really mean to me yesterday, which is very unusual. I promptly started crying, much to DDs consternation, she was very sweet though. I'm scared if I think about it, so trying not to as I'd be a wreck, but I'm very much hoping he'll soften when LO is here.

Tigerseye, good luck!

JBrd, how are you doing? I hope you're being looked after in whatever ways you need.

hopefulgum Thu 08-Aug-13 11:55:32

Hi all.

Sparkly, I am sorry DH still hasn't come round. I do hope when the LO is here he'll feel differently.

I am definitely not pregnant, AF turned up today - actually at 12 DPO, which means my luteal phase has shortened. It may be because since my holiday I have completely stopped taking supplements. No multi vitamins, coq10,folic acid,aspirin or vit B. Maybe it has made a difference. I don't know. I think I may start taking the sups again. I keep reading about how great COq10 is for egg quality, so I will start taking it again.It's incredibly expensive, but I guess it is worth if it helps, and it will only be for a few more months.

I had acupuncture today and according to my pulses my energies are good (I feel flippin tired though, especially as I fasted again today). She asked if I still want a baby. I told her yes, and she said she felt I was becoming more accepting that it may not happen than I was a couple of years ago. I suppose she's right. However, I still do want one last baby. She thinks I have enough on my plate, but she cannot say that it will or won't happen. However, she says, from what she can see, I am in very good health, better than ever (according to her way of thinking in Chinese medicine), so that's a good thing I suppose.

Sorry, I'm rambling. Feeling very,very hungry and just waiting for my fish to finish baking.

News anyone?

When will you test Tigerseye??

diege Thu 08-Aug-13 23:02:08

Evening! Just a quickie from me. Back from hospital after being hit in bump with tennis ball at a children's play camp in town. All seems fine after monitoring, but have to go in again tomorrow to get anti-D injection just to be safe. Was monitored on labour ward which was hell on earth - emergencies everywhere and ward eventually closed for admissions as no room left at the inn. Just glad I wasn't in labour! Catch up properly tomorrow xxx

TigerseyeMum Thu 08-Aug-13 23:11:10

That sounds hellish, diege!!!

I am still waiting. I tested when I was 2 days late but it was a BFN. As I've got older I've become less regular and I seem to go anywhere from 26 to 34 days.

Le sigh.

hopefulgum Fri 09-Aug-13 00:02:03

Oh Diege that does sound like hell on earth. I am glad you are okay.

Nothing more to report from me.

I hope everyone else is fine.

Dh and I are thinking of doing a teacher exchange to the UK in 2015. Where would you suggest is a nice area to live and teach? We have heard horror stories about high schools in London, so somewhere in the country might be nice.

I am starting to look at a future that doesn't include another baby, but it still makes me a little bit sad to do sosad
Must dash, have to get the kids out of bed and ready for school.

notsoold Fri 09-Aug-13 07:23:52

diege how awful!!!
Are you ok now????

jbrd ((hugs)) xxxx

We just returned from a holiday ( what do you call a romantic getaway before baby arrives??)
It was great!!!
29 weeks today and finally believing that it is going to happen. My dh is happy as always and we are decorating the nursery and buying few things ( had hand me downs for other dcs but all our friends had their kids a while ago?).
The gestational diabetes is coming along nicely however as I plan the baby shower ( different custom in my country) I am making plans for yummies that are nice to eat and not necessarily healthy!!!. Baby shower is a big celebration for us and in my case people was asked to bring nappies or wipes ( cheap and easy to find). ..
Sorry to rant away

notsoold Fri 09-Aug-13 07:28:16

hopeful my dh as a teacher in London, Leeds, Birmingham and now Manchester.... I asked him over brekkie and he say that Yorkshire was the best area regarding behaviour, but he works with hard of hearing now so it is difficult to judge.
All my love to you in your path of acceptance... Xxx

diege Fri 09-Aug-13 08:21:52

Ooh Gum we have very good schools in Warrington hmm grin. Seriously though, wherever you choose, if you do come, I will hint you out and stalk you until you agree to come over for a large piece of lemon drizzle cake. Would it def be England or would you consider Wales/Scotland too?
notsoold 29 weeks here too - I also feel quite relieved when I pass 28 weeks. Howe are you feeling with the GD? Would you have known you had it if it hadn't been diagnosed?
Tiger do you have any idea when you might have ovulated? Very stressful testing and retesting in your position xx
Have to head back to day unit for anti-D today. Dh being quite 'off' about covering childcare for an hr or 2 as I don't fancy trekking there with 5 kids. He has the option of going into work early so won't get behind (flexi time) but at the moment is asleep...Am putting it down to the general stress he has been under at work/mum poorly etc, but his current mood (swings) at present have been quite 'challenging' shall we say...

notsoold Fri 09-Aug-13 09:28:15

diege I wouldn't know as the other symptoms ( weeing in the might and drinking a lot and feeling tired) is what happens to me anyway during pg!!! So they swear I had with ds because of him being 9'9 ( although so skinny being tall)....

Good day to all xxxx

mozzarellamummy Fri 09-Aug-13 14:31:16

did any of you here have pregnancy symptoms identical to AF symptoms???.. I will have AF in one week and I already feel ovarian dullness, which happens to me every month.. Am I already out then?
It's a terrible week as it's just one year from when they started to detect problems with my baby.. I want at least to keep my hopes up for a few days!!
humh I'm afraid I'm biasing your replies.. smile
Diege sorry for you accident and for your DH behaviour.. mine shouted at me yesterday because I was crying remembering last year events.. I sometimes wonder if we're the right people to be together..
gum if you go to the uk to teach, don't forget to come to Italy!!!
Jbrd how are you? Lots of hugs...

diege Fri 09-Aug-13 17:36:34

mozz I've never felt more like my period was going to come than when pregnant, certainly no reason to think you're out. Know what you mean re: dh - we are very different people I think which doesn't usually matter too much, but when under stress etc does create quite a difficult living environment. My life would be so much easier with Simon Cowell <sighs>

diege Fri 09-Aug-13 17:39:09

notsoold that's interesting about the GD, also that your ds was one cause for concern with his weight - same here with dc4 who was 9.8 after 3 7 pounders. Reassuringly back to 7.12ib with dc 5 though so hoping this one will be similar.

hopefulgum Sat 10-Aug-13 00:12:38

mozzamummy, yesterday must have been one of those days. I had a good cry in the shower for my little Louie and Alfie who never made it earthside. I have always believed our babies find their way to us, but I feel sad thinking that this little spirit baby is unlikely to come back to us. But I don't even discuss it with my Dh because he just doesn't feel it as keenly as I do. My losses are tiny compared to yours, so you must be heartbroken. ((hugs)) I hope this is your month for a bfp. And if it isn't, don't give up, I am sure you will get pregnant.

I am also on another over 40's forum on an American site and there have been many successes. The latest one is a mum who is 46 and 6 weeks pregnant, and she has a 14 month old son. So that gives me hope. I have my fingers crossed that her pregnancy will be a success, because as well as it being a wonderful outcome for her, it can help me believe that it is possible.

I have considered buying Zita West supplements. Does anyone else have experience with them? Do you think they are worth it? In the past I have always taken a handful of different supplements, so I like the idea of just one or two that will cover everything I might need for ttc. Or is it just tarted up vitamins that I could get somewhere else? I will have to wait until I sell some stuff on EBay to be able to afford it, and I should probably be using the money to help pay off the holiday spending shock but I feel I should give it my best shot...Am I just being silly???hmm

Thanks for the suggestions for places in the UK to teach. At the moment it is really a dream, but one we have talked about for years, and 2015 might be a good time because it is when our eldest DD has finished high school and DD2 will be year 10 which isn't a crucial year in her education (where year 11 and 12 is), and DS will be year 1. Otherwise we have to wait til DD2 is finished (2018). Anyway, I was reading through the application forms yesterday and it is quite a complicated process and it appears it is difficult to get a "couples" exchange, and we couldn't afford to do it unless we were both working. The truth is we probably can't really afford to do it at all, it will be expensive to fly four of us half way across the world, and of course we'd want to explore Europe, so it could be a big expense. But the more I think about it the more excited I am. Mozza, we would definitely come to Italy as my father owns a house in Monte di Procida (his childhood home), in the south, so we would have a house to stay in.

Diege, we would have to apply for Scotland and Wales too to give us a good chance.

Like I said, at this stage it is a bit of a dream, and honestly, as much as I have always hoped we would do it, a THB would trump that dream in a heartbeat.

It is Saturday here and my DD2 has a friend sleeping over, so I am taking them and DD1 into town for shopping ( the horror, the horror!). I think I may have to find a friend to have a cuppa with. I would like to have cake too, but so far I've lost NO weight on the 5:2 diet, so I am wondering if I have to be strict on non-fast days too. I thought the whole idea of this diet was that you didn't have to worry on the non fast days, but so far I haven't lost an ounce. Grr! I hope all this starving isn't for nothingangry

If you are reading this when you get up, have a happy Saturday...grin

TigerseyeMum Sat 10-Aug-13 10:12:42

Well, I'm definitely not upduffed. Oh well, next month.

I'll enjoy my child-free weekend by going on walkies through the woods and maybe cocktails later. So it has it's perks.

hopefulgum Sat 10-Aug-13 10:35:18

Sorry Tigerseye. The walking through the woods, and cocktails sound fabulous, but I'll send a little ((hug))your way because it would be nice to get a bfp.

isadorable Sat 10-Aug-13 13:41:33

Hi everyone, been reading and hoping for good things for you.

Gum - I am sorry this wasn't your month. I think even though it feels long, you have every reason to keep going if you want to. I've known two women have babies naturally older than you - one at 47 and one at 50 (Her first)! I can understand the sadness of your losses and the feeling that maybe it is time to stop too. I am taking dhea and q10. Q10 seems to be a bit of a wonder supplement for ageing but it is really expensive yes. I got mine from amazon cos these kind of things are extortionate in France. How lovely to have the travel idea there. You never know, you might just find it happens. I wanted a change years ago and here I am!

Mozzarella - I had AF symptoms when I got pregnant so I hope that is a good sign for you. It can't be easy to move on from a tfmr but keep the faith, there's still time.

Tigerseye - enjoy your weekend and the freedom you feel.

Diege - that tennis ball incident sounds horrible. Glad you're ok.

Morien - congratulations on your wedding and delighted pregnancy going well. I can't remember if you had your harmony result yet. Hope all's well.

Cali - huge congrats on the weight loss, that's fab. Hope dh is impressed - cant be long till he's back?

Sparkly - wow, not long now! It goes really fast when it's not me doing it so it seems to have flown. Best of everything for the next bit. Hope dh comes good and supports you.

Notsoold - delighted it is going well.

JBrd - hope you're doing ok?

Big hello to Irish and everyone else.

Afm I am unfortunately in a pickle. I had an inconclusive smear result and have to wait for my doc to get back from hols on 3 September when I have an apt booked. I was ok with it, but have started to feel a rising sense of panic over the last week. It is hard work being mum to a two year old, I adore it but it can be exhausting. She is great but quite a character. She just hit me on the head with a book so I have banished her to the playpen to calm down! I am 4 days po - don't feel pregnant but do feel very emotional which is not like me. I am frightened things might be really bad and terrified of what it could mean if they are. Better shake myself and take us into town.

Morien Sat 10-Aug-13 15:46:30

Hello everyone, hope you're all having a lovely weekend. I just had a message from the doctor at the Fetal Medical Centre Belgium to tell me that he's had my Harmony results last night and they're absolutely fine. I imagine I'll find out more on Monday, but I'm so pleased to hear that grin

[isadorable] that's happened to me too in the past - an inconclusive smear, I mean. In fact I went back for a second one and it was inconclusive again, so then I really did get worried confused I know it's hard not to think the worst (particularly when you've got such a long wait till you can have it done again, you poor thing - couldn't you go somewhere else?) but the doctor told me that in most cases inconclusives just mean that they can't test the sample, not that there's anything wrong. Mine was fine, in the end.

Mozzarella I'm quite confident that my DH & I should be together (anything else would be a bit sad, wouldn't it, a week into our marriage?) but he could very easily behave in the way your DP did. With my grandma's recent final illness and death recently he was just rubbish. It's almost like there's a sensor in him that detects more-than-average neediness in me and freaks out - whereas normally he's very supportive. Anyway, how are you feeling now? A hard few weeks for you to get through.

And gum, have you brightened up? That sadness can hit right out of the blue, can't it?
tigerseye sorry it's not your month, but enjoy your cocktails - please have one for me wink

Have a lovely weekend, everybody else!

diege Sat 10-Aug-13 16:18:17

Great ne.ws morien! How nice to get a head's up at the weekend too smile
isadorable please don't worry about your smear result, it really will be that there were either not enough cells on the slide or it was 'impaired' in some way (for eg. a touch of thrush, other bacteria/blood). My BIL works in the labs here and has been called upon many times for interpretations of smears! If there was anything slightly abnormal they would upgrade it to 'mild abnormalities' which in and of themselves often clear up anyway after 3 mths. Really, DO NOT WORRY!!!
Gum I have used the Zita West supplements in the past after I'd had a mmc. I read her book about fertility and she mentioned her own supplements which seemed a lot simpler than buying them separately. No problems with them (in fact conceived a few mths after taking them). Only problem is price and remembering to take them 3 times a day...I think you're quite used to supplements though? so may well have it in your mind to take to work etc.
Sorry it's not your month tiger sad. Are you going/do you chart, do opks etc? I found temping really useful in letting me know when to expect af/a bfp, but can also see the benefit of just waiting it out.
Hope everyone's ok and having a good Saturday. Dh (who seems to have perked up hmm) has taken older dds swimming so am trying to attack the washing/ironing pile with limited success...

isadorable Sat 10-Aug-13 17:36:30

Thanks diege and morien - great news about harmony too. My result is Ascus - it seems I have traces of hpv 16 and 18 which are the ones to worry about. Instead of worrying, I am drinking a mojito in the big square with dd who is drawing all over my physio receipt with her new babapapa felt tips. Oh and eyeing up my mojito cos it looks more interesting than her iced tea which she usually loves.

Men don't cope and deal with things the same. Mine is very practiical and only secretly very emotional. Though we do support and compliment each other most of the time, it can be tough. But I think it is worth it and know I am happy to have him.

Have lovely weekends all!

diege Sat 10-Aug-13 17:43:28

isadorable I too have tested positive for the same strains of hpv that you do (apparently 90% of the population are hpv positive) and every single smear this year at the hosp' clinic has apparently been hpv pos (they're part of a research study). It just means they might invite you for more frequent smears (I have yearly ones) but the virus can burn out if you are healthy and fit, and may well be untraceable for every other smear you ever have xx

isadorable Sat 10-Aug-13 20:58:11

Thanks diege that is really helpful and reassuring. I am encouraged that I have no symptoms and he took me it looked ok when he did it. My dp is delighted to hear a rational explanation. Men.

hopefulgum Sat 10-Aug-13 23:35:16

Hello lovely ladies.

Morien, congratultions on the great Harmony result. Fantastic news.

Isadorable, I also have those kind of results and all is well. I just get checked 12 monthly. The last one was fine I think and now I can wait two years.

As for men, I second what you are saying. I love my DH dearly, but he has the emotional aptitude of a gnat. I have learned, after 13 years of marriage, that it is just his "normal" and not to take it too personally. However going through the miscarriages was the hardest thing I have ever done because I felt I had to cope alone. He was there for me but just couldn't grasp the emotional magnitude of it.

Diege, I went and ordered the Zita West supplements yesterday but for some reason my credit card wouldn't work hmm. Then I posted on Mumsnet, hoping someone might have a discount code I could use, but no replies to my post as yet. I'll wait a couple of days, and see if I can get a code before I purchase(they are quite expensive, but I like the idea of not having to take such a large handful of vitamins and sups).

Isadorable, I think you are right, there's no reason to stop ttc, and I don't think I'll ever use contraception, but I might stop charting, temping, timing intercourse, taking supplements. So, although I wouldn't be TTA, I wouldn't be consciously TTC. I do believe it is still possible, as I am still having regular periods, but I do accept that having a regular cycle doesn't mean that the eggs are viable. However I am sure there is one good one left in there somewhere.grin

One of the things Zita West says is that couples don't have enough sex. In my case she is probably right. Busy lives, kids and age have all put a big dent in my libido. It takes effort to make it happen blush My acupuncturist said that being open to a baby at my age is a type of freedom, not having to think about contraception as many women our age do because the idea of a child to them is the worst thing ever. So, I suppose that is a type of freedom.

I'm ramblingshock!

My parents are visiting today, so I am cooking a big roast lamb lunch, so that's my Sunday taken care of. I will have to clean the house first (sadly, they are quite critical). I feel tired just thinking about it....hmm

JBrd Sun 11-Aug-13 07:16:33

Good morning from me, too, ladies. It's lovely to come to this thread and read how you are all getting on.

I also had an abnormal smear test a few years ago, but all that amounted to was having tests more frequently for a few years, and nothing else was found. It's quite surprising how often that seems to happen...

Great news about your harmony test, Morien, what a relief! How are you feeling?

I'm hanging in, nothing else I can do at the moment. My next scan is on Tuesday, and I guess they will discuss options with me then. I started spotting yesterday, but it's very light. I have a sinking feeling that this is going to be a long and drawn out affair, sigh.
I'm a bit in denial, trying to get on with things as usual and surprising myself how well that is going at the moment. I've been to work all week, just getting on with it really...
However, I got the letter inviting me for the 12week scan yesterday, that was really tough hmm

isadorable Sun 11-Aug-13 13:06:08

Thanks JBrd - I am beginning to see these things must be quite common - thanks to all of you. It isn't the sort of thing people talk about much I suppose. But I'm grateful for knowledge. I'm off next week so going to see my gp about a few things and I'll mention it and see what he says.

Sorry things have yet to resolve themselves. Good thing you're in a job you like now and can take refuge in work I suppose. Are you to look at recurrent miscarriage testing? How rough to get the scan letter... Big squeeze from me.

Gum - I know we're not having enough sex! Was going to try sme plan. I think between dp's shift work, dd and all the rubbish this year has thrown at us so far, we've not been trying hard enough. From what I read dhea should be effective after 90 days. That's the longest i plan to take it for. I have been taking 25mg for a couple of weeks without any side-effects so I think I'm going up it to 50 next week and see how that goes.

Happy Sunday everyone!

notsoold Sun 11-Aug-13 18:54:05

Jbrd poor you receiving a letter like that! I received one regarding scan after my mc last year and it broke my heart even more! Take care my lovely!! Xx

Gum...none of my friends in our age bracket is every enough sex because of all the many things in our lives! So I totally get it! How was the roast lamb?? ( sex x food??? I choose food smile)

I hope you are all having a pleasant weekend. We are very quiet here because ds went away to a camp...he is a chatterbox!!

mumalah Sun 11-Aug-13 18:57:42

Hi everyone!
I went to doctors and had blood test as advised re bleeding, fingers crossed its stopped as from today, been almost a month now, so just awaiting results.
I'm also overdue for a smear test, i remember having one a few months before i conceived my youngest, sadly not here anymore, and i had to have a colposcopy. I was advised not to get pregnant, but I did, infact it regulated my periods afterwards. So i need to book in asap while not bleeding. Its all very worrying isadorable
Well tonight might be dh lucky night, no bleeding all day lol!

hopefulgum Sun 11-Aug-13 23:39:44

Hi ladies.
Jbrd, receiving that letter is like a kick in the gut isn't it? After my second miscarriage I had called and cancelled my 12 week tests, but I still got a reminder phone call at 11 weeks. I told them that it was pretty awful that they had called me when I had miscarried. I hope they felt bad because something like that shouldn't happen. It is an awful reminder of the loss. I hope it all resolves quickly for you. Will you have recurrent miscarriage testing?

mumalah, I am glad to hear the bleeding has stopped. I hope you get to the bottom of what's going on. Not only would it be worrying, but also inconvenient.

My Sunday worked out okay, but I was exhausted by the end of it. Dh cooked the lamb and vegies in the Weber BBQ, so I didn't have to do much - just make a big salad. But of course I ended up cleaning the bathroom, kitchen,living room and laundry. Seems mad now as my parents were only here for a few hours. But I know they have "reported" back to my sister about my house in the past, and I have to admit to feeling a bit hurt. I wish I didn't care what they think. For goodness sake I am 46 years old!

I have had no response at all about the Zita West discount code, so it looks like I might be paying full price confused. I would have thought someone would have responded...oh well.

DS has woken with a sticky eye this morning. I hope it isn't conjunctivitis. He has swimming lessons this morning and will be heart broken if he can't go. I shall keep an eye on it wink

Have a lovely day.thanks

diege Mon 12-Aug-13 08:54:58

Morning! That sounds very annoying about your parents gum..I think I would be tempted to leave the place in a real mess (so basically as it is...) and see what gets back to sister...Re: Zita West, I have never found a discount code in all the time I was taking them, on MN or elsewhere. Hope ds's eye sorts itself - conjunctivitis is the pits sad
mumalah that does sound a pain about the bleeding. Do you know when you might get the results back?
All ok here - have the prospect of taking 4dcs into town to get school uniform today; that should be fun hmm May need to indulge in something sweet (am thinking M&S's cream meringues) when I get home!
Love to all - btw I think we should resume the bistro on Friday - get thinking what you'd like so I can order supplies grin

diege Mon 12-Aug-13 08:55:58

btw Gum wasn't inferring your house was a 'real mess', was thinking of mine grin

hopefulgum Mon 12-Aug-13 09:39:09

Oh Diege, right now a cream meringue sounds amazing (fasting again todayconfused. Wish I was up the duff so I had a great excuse to stop it!). I know you weren't being critical of my house. But it is a mess, which is perfectly normal for a busy working family. My mother never worked outside the home, so she hasn't got a clue.

I wish I didn't care. I met up with my parents and my sister for a cuppa this morning after DS's swimming lesson. Was a waste of time I think as they are just so strange and difficult. They are very critical of my sister and the way she disciplines her children, and yet they are not at all interested in helping out. They very seldom visit us, have very little time for our kids, but then proceed to tell my sister that my children are "precocious" (because they can uphold a conversation with an adult), and that DS is "very spoilt and gets his own way all the time", after they have spent about two hours with him and us. It makes my blood boil that they can make these assumptions when they don't even know the kids, nor us, really. Nor do they seem to want to. Honestly I don't know of any other woman on the planet who is as negative or critical as my mother...

Luckily the visits are few and far between, so I can relax for another 4-6 months. They are going overseas in two weeks, which makes both my sister and me relieved as we know they won't surprise us with a visit whilst they are away.

Sorry for the rant - they just make me feel angry

About the Zita West sups, I have tried to buy them but for some reason my mastercard won't work, which means I will have to use my visa card, which I share with DH. Will the statement say "fertility supplements"? I wouldn't want DH see that I've spent that much on them, he'll not be pleased. So still not sure if I will go ahead. There were no replies to my post about a discount code, perhaps there is no such thing nowadays?

Oh, I think I will probably buy them. I am still willing to give it a good shot. I bought some opk's today. DH is going away at the end of the week, so I want to have an idea of what's going on, as it could be a bit tight for fitting in SWI.

Off to see if I can find out what will show up on the credit card statement hmm

mumalah Mon 12-Aug-13 09:59:42

Hi hopeful, if you google zita west supplements there is quite a few websites selling her products. some with 20% discount. one is healthy peach.com and another is zitawest.nutrisun.co.uk/.Free.P&P/&#8206;. Hope that helps.

hopefulgum Mon 12-Aug-13 10:19:17

Thanks mumalah. I bought from Healthy Peach. I would have bought them from Zita West as I wanted the Vitafem Boost too, but I couldn't get either credit card to work, so I gave up! I am guessing they are really just a multi vitamin, and will probably keep taking CO q 10, fish oil, royal jelly and the aspirin in the tww.

diege Mon 12-Aug-13 15:38:09

gum if it is any consolation the meringues (yes, plural) were a disappointment sad Bought from cheapo supermarket rather than M&S, and while the actual meringue was very similar they have very little cream in them angry. Still, I have the Cadbury's caramel biscuits to eye up and then eat this evening smile. How's the fast going? <runs>
Town was a nightmare - spent £200 on uniform which is far more than I'd accounted for...still, nearly there now, just things like PE bags that can be got after we get back from our week away (leaving this Friday). Also lost dds 2 and 3 in supermarket for about 10 mins (they had gone out) which was a horrible heart stopping moment!

10000Fireflies Mon 12-Aug-13 22:42:38

Evening Ladies!

Thought I ought to get back on here and see if you can cheer me on with TTC. DS, our little Firefly, is now 13.5 months and doing v well. I have been holding off TTC as still BF and want to take same supps as before and didn't know how good it was for DS to have Royal Jelly with his milk. grin Also, had a busy first half of the year and it wouldn't have been great to be preggers then.

Diege what's this? Are you up-duffed again? Is this #6??!!

Lovely to see you Gum. Hope you're well.

I have only scanned the thread so will have to be rude and not name check all the lovely newbies on here.

Not sure what else to say at the mo, except, help. Am 44 on Thursday!

Hope to keep up with you all better. Is all down to DS though, The Ruler of The Household!!

UnMumsnetty hugs to all. FF xx

hopefulgum Mon 12-Aug-13 23:16:34

Hello Fireflies!How nice to see you. Wow, baby Fireflies is 13 months already!

I really should have had a baby by now, shouldn't I, but it just hasn't happenedsad

It will be lovely to have you back on or thread.

deige, sorry the meringues were disappointing. I made it through the day on 500 calories and feel very virtuous, I hope I am losing some weight, surely it isn't all for nought. I did have some delicious (a tiny serve) of passionfruit greek yoghurt after dinner, so didn't feel too deprived.

Fireflies, remind which supplements you are taking (or going to take) for ttc?

2minds Tue 13-Aug-13 09:42:26

Just catching up with everyone as had kind of lost this thread.

I had period type symptoms with each one of my pregnancies so no need to lose hope yet.

I had an abnormal smear result around 15 years back but have never had any problems since.

No bfp for me again as just finished another period. Was getting v frustrated with it all, even though I have only been trying just over 3 months. Onwards and upwards I guess!

On a positive note, dp proposed to me yesterday, on our 6 year anniversary of being together!!grin

Irishmammybread Tue 13-Aug-13 13:02:40

Congratulations 2minds,how lovely ! When will the wedding be?

Hi Fireflies ,you had just had your baby around the time I joined the thread last year! Good to hear he's doing well. Have your periods returned to normal while you're bf? Mine never resumed until a couple of months after I finished bf.

You've had a stressful few days Diege ,after the tennis ball incident, injection,and then the disappearing DDs! It's an awful feeling when you can't see your child in a public place. DS did it to us on holidays in France when he was about 4, he thought it would be fun to hide in a shop in a clothes display, I think it was the longest 10 minutes of my life until he decided to pop back out.He thought it was very funny,took us a while to see the funny side!

gum your parents sound very difficult,bet you breathe a sigh of relief when they go home! Well done with sticking to your fasting, I think I'd struggle to stick to 500 cals a day.

We've just had a long weekend away,it was DD1's 14 birthday last week and she didn't think it would be the same without her big brother around so we booked a hotel near to where he's living while he does his internship and spent a few days with him. It's not too far from London so we got the train in a couple of days and did the touristy thing. It was very busy, but what would you expect in August I suppose! It was really nice just to have the whole family together again.

Great your results were good Morien ,you can relax a bit more now.

Hope you're ok JBrd, well as ok as you can be xxx

Hi to everyone else

CaliBee Wed 14-Aug-13 09:29:51

Hello my lovely ladies....it feels like forever since I have been ttc along with the rest of you, however my man is back on Friday evening woohoo.
I randomly peed on one of the clearblue advanced sticks this morning and got a solid smiley so hopefully I'm back in the game.
Congrarulations to 2minds ..how lovely.

hopeful I agree, your parents sound difficult, and so ublike you by the sounds of it.

Welcome back to fireflies

Its getting close to when my little one would have been due (25/8)...sad. Such an odd feeling, its a good job we are moving 2 days later, I should be really busy and not have to much time to ponder on it.

hopefulgum Thu 15-Aug-13 00:15:33

COngratulations 2minds, that is wonderful news.

Irish, that sounds like a lovely family holiday. It is so nice that your DD wanted to be with her DB for her birthday.

Calibee, great news that your DH will be back so soon.

Yes, irish and Calibee, my parents are not nice people. The more I think about it the more upset I feel about the way they treat me and my family. For years I have put up with it. They never, ever phone me (unless there's an emergency), I have to do all the keeping in touch. And if I don't for a while they make comments about how wrong it is that they don't know what is going on in my life or with my kids. It is so frustrating. They don't visit us for months, then they'll phone us the night before they are coming. They make no allowances for the fact that I work outside the home, they don't bring meals, help with anything domestic and show favouritism towards my brothers' children. They are quite wealthy but birthday gifts for the children are absolutely dismal. DS is turning 5 soon and my mother gave him his gift: A tee shirt and shorts (which were very ugly and two sizes too big) and a pack of playing cards shock Bless him, my sweet boy said thankyou then whispered in my ear,"I was hoping for a toy". It is so disappointing because I know they could do better if they took an interest in the kids, and would part with a tiny bit more of their precious money.

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to unburden on you. I just wish things could be different, that they could be decent grandparents to my children (and reasonable parents to me).

Well, my crazy week got a bit crazier yesterday when I took DS to the doctor and found out he definitely has conjunctivitis, so he can't go to school today. So I had to take the morning off work yesterday, take him to the Drs, then bring him home again for DS2 to babysit, then head back to work (and I live 20 kms from the drs and work). Today I will stay home with him, but will have to travel twice into town for pick ups for my daughters. I have taken tomorrow off too, but I am hoping DS's eyes will have cleared up from the drops, so I can take him to daycare and have a day to myself. DH is going away today for two nights, and I really need some time for me. I am feeling overwhelmed by work, sick kids and all the taxiing around.

It is nothing knew though is, millions of working parents the world over have to do this juggling actsmile

As for ttc, I think it's CD7, so when DH gets back from his work trip, it will be getting close to ovulation, and hopefully we will be in the mood for some SWIhmm I'll probably be too knackeredgrin

2minds Thu 15-Aug-13 13:29:41

Thank you all. smile We have not set a date yet but will probably be looking at next summer sometime. It has given me something else to think about other than obsessing over whether I am still fertile or not!

I feel for you CaliBee.sad I remember dreading my due date after my miscarriage. It is tough but good you have lots to keep you busy and great that you will have your man back with you.

Hopefulgum - hope your DS is better soon. Know what you mean about being too knackered a lot of the time to do the deed, as that is often me too!grin

diege Fri 16-Aug-13 16:57:05

Hello! Many congrats 2minds, that's lovely news smile.
fireflies yes cheering you on with the pompoms here, and great to hear you are back on the ttc wagon grin. Yep, number 6 here, 30 weeks, and hoping against hope for that burst of energy you're supposed to get??!! Having a boy which evens things out, so 3 of each! Was a bit of a surprise, but do realise how lucky I am and am very much looking forward to seeing my little boy now smile
calibee great news about dp, but many sympathies with the looming due date sad xx
irish lovely to hear from you - break away sounds fab x
gum phew, sound like you do indeed need some time to yourself - nothing quite like lingering child illnesses to drain you. Ttc time imminent too - hopefully you can gather the strength and then collapse!
Well off for a week away to Whitby tomorrow. Looking forward to being there but the packing has me done in and still not finished it...Fantasy is that they would all go and leave me here so I can just do absolutely nothing, other than wee and answer the door to take-away deliveries grin.
So love to all and will check in in a week's time x

Irishmammybread Fri 16-Aug-13 19:32:43

Hope you have a lovely holiday Diege and get a chance to relax. You should be able to get some good fish and chips in Whitby! Hope the weather is good for you.
Has your DS's conjunctivitis improved gum ? It can be a nightmare trying to get eyedrops in a small child, I don't envy you that! He sounds like a real little sweetie, how tactful was he talking to your parents! I know what you mean about running "Mum's taxi" ,hope you get some time to yourself to recharge your batteries for dtd when DH is home.
CaliBee, I've realized as it's now Friday your DH will be home already so I don't expect you'll be reading this for a while, you'll have some catching up to get down to with better things to do than come on Mumsnet!!! Hope the timing is right for you.
I thought it must be coming up to your due date, I remember it was going to be just after the royal baby arrived .It is such a difficult time but it's good your DH will be with you on the day xxx
2minds it will be lovely have a wedding to plan, a good distraction from those 2ww s every month!

hopefulgum Sat 17-Aug-13 00:56:34

Diege, have a lovely break in Whitby. I do hope it will be relaxing for you. I think you really deserve to put your feet up and read a good book, snooze, have all meals cooked for you etc Oh, and any chance of a day spa, massage, manicure etc???

I feel like I could do with a holiday too, but I just had one didn't I? How soon my relaxed air has vanished sad Never mind, not every week is like the one I have just had. It was unfortunate that DH had to be away when DD was involved in a big school music show (so rehearsals every day after school, plus night time performances) and when DS had conjunctivitis. That was healing well until yesterday, when I forgot to give the drops to the daycarer, and then forgot to do them when I got home with him. Then he fell asleep on the way back from dropping DD at the entertainment centre. So this morning he woke up with a yucky sticky eye! angry So I will have to be more vigilant now and do them for an extra day.

DH's father called yesterday in a flap because he couldn't contact my DH (who was in a conference) because he needs him to drive him (FIL) to the hospital on Monday for an operation, and drive him back home the following day. The operation is in the city where DH is now, so he'll have to drive 400 km home today, then possibly turn around tomorrow (I hope it won't be until Monday morning) and drive those same 400kms again. Poor thing.

It can't be helped. His father has gotten quite unwell and frail over the last couple of years, and his mother had a stroke at Christmas time and is still recovering, so DH is happy to help. But I am a little disappointed as we are coming up to ovulation sad Last month I Oed at day 12, if I do O at day 12 I'll at least get a shot at it tonight at day 10, but if I ovulate day 13 or 14 it won't be so great ( he will be away the nights of (possibly) day 11 and 12. I have had twinges, so I don't think I'll have a later ovulation like I have done some months.Hopefully he won't leave til Monday morning, and we'll have a go at it Sunday night or Monday morning wink

Oh well, I cannot control the situation, I just have to go with it and hope for the best possible chance. This afternoon I will do an opk and see how it is looking. What's the bet the opk will be positive on the night he's away? angry

Despite lots of car trips yesterday, I did take the day off work and did get a little time to myself. After dropping the kids at school I went to the pool and did 50 laps shock I am so pleased with myself. I am getting very addicted to it, can't wait to get into the pool, and feel it is a sort of meditation, with the bonus of being good exercise.

If you have kept reading this post, then you deserve cake and a brew

I am so glad I have mumsnet friends to unload on, it really does help with my stress levelsgrin

10000Fireflies Sat 17-Aug-13 22:09:57

Evening all

Gum I am keeping everything crossed for you that you will have that baby. smile Well done on doing the fast day(s). I have made some forays into dieting but am not v committed at the mo!! The supplements I took are the ones on Fertility Friend: www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.750 . See the first posting on 31/01/10. There was one supplement she lists which I didn’t take, but can’t remember off-hand which it was. I think Lysine. I need to review the list myself and work out what I can and cannot take while still BF The Rascal. Sorry to hear about your shitty family and troubles with FIL. Hope you get a chance to DTD. As for your family – it’s such a shame how crap they are, but best to concentrate on your own lovely brood. Though I find it difficult to take such advice. My family are a totally PITA and I wish I could take my own advice and stop worrying about them and get on with my own life without seeking their approval.

Hi 2minds. Nice to meet you. Sorry about to hear AF has put in an appearance, but huge congrats on proposal. flowers

Hello again Irish. AF returned in Feb this year, so 8 months after DS was born. (And OMG, how I enjoyed the best part of two years period free!!) Was BF then, but not exclusively so.

Calibee I hope you were able to make the most of your Clearblue smiley. Thinking of you at this difficult time too.

Diege Hope you are having a good time in Whitby. Great news on #6, and lovely to have a boy on the way.

I need to knuckle down and read that supps list. I don’t know why I find it so difficult to focus on it. (well, I do really, I am shagged out and plain shagged off at the moment. Scuse the language blush). BTW, did you read the article in Red magazine recently? The premise was a book which has been published recently which suggests that declining fertility with increasing female age is a myth. I’ll have to dig it out and re-read it, but was interested to note that even The Lister hospital is recommending taking CoQ10 these days. The other main point I got from the article was that it’s less about needing or being able to improve egg quality, but more that the environment that the eggs develop in needs be conducive to maturing eggs. So, antioxidants etc are helpful. Anyway, basically, it confirmed a lot of the stuff which is on the Fertility Friends website. There’s a bit on the article here, but not much of interest: www.redonline.co.uk/red-women/blogs/jean-twenge-dismisses-fertility-timebomb

Off to check lottery numbers. When I cut my birthday cake on Thurs I wished for something along those lines....

hopefulgum Sun 18-Aug-13 01:13:51

Thanks for that supplement link Fireflies. I actually have a print out of it which I must have printed out when you told us about it beforesmile

I think I have most of those sups in my pantry. I have been very slack taking them, but after reading your post I have been reminded how important it is to have all those vitamins, antioxidants etc in your system to give the egg the best chance.

I, too, believe that the environment for the developing egg is very important. So I am going to make a better effort to take my supplements. I have just been on the fertility friend website and a lady of 47 has got a bfp! However it is early days and she's had many losses, I hope this one can be her THB. Sadly,I do think it is true that there's a higher chance of miscarriage as we get older, however it doesn't mean every pregnancy will be miscarried. So I can hold onto that hope. I have decided that my latest goal is to either be pregnant by Christmas (obviously I have absolutely no control over thathmm) or 10 kilos lighter. So either way I will be happy.

My DH got home last night and we managed to DTD. I plan to get another chance at it tonight as he is going away tomorrow. Luckily it is only for one night, so I suppose it won't make a huge difference to TTC.LAst night's opk was quite light, so it doesn't seem that ovulation is imminent, but then again I may get a positive today. We shall see.

I am going to read the article you linked now.

hopefulgum Sun 18-Aug-13 01:28:36

I had a quick look around the internet, and here is an article written by Jean Twenge. It is quite encouraging.

10000Fireflies Sun 18-Aug-13 08:06:29

Fingers crossed that last night was the night, Gum. Thanks for the link. Twenge is the one behind the Red article. BTW, 'Angelbump', who put together the Fertility Friend stuff had problems with MC, so her 'protocol' is designed for that also. I remember B6 as being important, and that you can take a huge amount of it!! I'd found her post after the first IVF round failure. Our embryos were of excellent quality but failed to implant so I was spurred on by that too.

hopefulgum Sun 18-Aug-13 23:28:22

Well, I am still "hopeful" here. DH has just driven off to take FIL to hospital, but I got lucky (or he didwink) again last night, so if I ovulate today or tomorrow, I guess timing is good, and I'll jump him again when he gets back from the city tomorrow night. I did an opk last night and it looked even less positive than the night before, but I haven't missed the surge as my temperatures are still low. Who knows, maybe the timing will all turn out to be perfect in the end? I will do another opk tonight to see how things look.

For the first time in ages I actually had three glasses of wine with a friend yesterday. It was good to have a chat and unwind a bit. I think I may have needed it. I usually keep alcohol consumption very low as I am ttc. But after years of doing it I am beginning to wonder if I should relax on that a bit. I don't know, some days I think all my hard work with food,supplements, not taking drugs (as in over the counter pain-killers),not drinking etc etc is partly causing stress and I should let it go. As well as the guilt for drinking too much caffeine hmm But then I think, if I am going to have a go at this, I have to do my best because the odds are so poor for me, I have to be good.

Anyway, today is a fast day, so I will probably have a bit too much caffeine, but I will only eat nutrient dense foods, will take my supplements (when I eat) and will swim laps. So I guess it is falling in favour of "doing the right thing" for ttc.

calibee, how is everything going for you? I know how awful it is with looming due dates, but I am glad your DH is there with you. I am sure his cuddles will help.

I hope everyone else is ok.
Check in and let us know. thanks

2minds Mon 19-Aug-13 10:42:27

Thank you for all the congrats.smile

I haven't been so good on the avoiding alcohol recently as have spent the week celebrating our engagement! Going to try to be good now though.

Just back from a nice weekend in London. Met a nice group of women while out on Saturday, one of whom had 10 children & looked amazing! She kept asking if we were going to have a child together & that we must try. We told her we were leaving it to fate and left it at that, but it can be tough when people keep encouraging you to have a baby at a time you have been trying for a while. DP has a couple of weeks off work starting tomorrow so at least we may have a chance to try a little more this month.

mozzarellamummy Mon 19-Aug-13 15:34:02

2minds congratulations for your engagement!
calibee as the 22th will be the first anniversary from my baby tfmr, I guess how you're feeling with due date approaching..sad..I hope finally having your hubby with you will help..
I'm coping better then expected, especially considering af hit me a few days ago and next cycle there won't be any ttc because I'll be on holiday without dp..we already had one week together and with dd in switzerland/france where I lived for one year as a kid..we also met one schoolmate of mine whom I hadn't seen for about 20 yrs..that was very beautiful..there are still so many things to appreciate in life, aren't there? On

JBrd Mon 19-Aug-13 16:29:51

2minds congratulations, that is lovely, happy news flowers

gum Good for you to try and get the dtd into a really small window of opportunity! No one can say that you're not trying everything possible, I do admire your stamina!
Hope you don't mind me saying, but I'm not sure I agree with this fasting diet of yours... In my experience, these types of diet only make your body go into starvation mode, making it even more difficult to lose weight. Probably not what you want to hear, sorry! But I have tried so many different diets, and the bottom line for me now is - watch what I eat and especially how much, and to try to be as active as possible. Which I think you are, blimey, 50 laps in the pool?! I'd be dead grin

calibee Hope you are enjoying having your DH with you, how long is he staying (he might have already left again, sorry if I get the dates wrong). Due dates are so difficult - I had the one for my 1st mc at the end of July, just when the world was reeling with the news of Royal baby George. There was no escape, and I have to admit that I cried while watching the TV news of Will & Kate leaving the hospital with their new son (only to then be appalled at how they strapped him into the car seat!). It's tough, and I hope that you'll get plenty of distraction with your move. hugs

Diege Have a lovely and relaxing holiday!

It looks as if things might resolve themselves for me soon. My hope for a natural miscarriage has not been fulfilled, and after speaking to the EPU again today to discuss my options, I have now decided to go for the medical management. I am just so tired and fed up with waiting, I want it over and done with. They are reluctant to do the surgery because of the size of my sac, as well as timing (Bank holiday coming up, difficult to fit me in).
I'm off work this week as well, I couldn't face going in and risking it all kicking off while I'm there anymore (it was extremely stressful going to the loo every time last week, I was so worried that I'd pass the sac) - even though it was a good distraction!
I feel strangely relieved, now that I've taken the decision, at least I know now what's going to happen and when. And they'll be able to take everything off me immediately to get it analysed (I qualify for tests now to investigate why I keep having mcs).
So all in all, not what I wanted for my ideal scenario, but given the circumstances, I guess it's second best.

I really don't know where I'll go from here. Will I be able to face another round of ttc? I still would love a sibling for DS. And for myself - I would love another opportunity to bring this new person into the world and watch it grow and develop. DS is so lovely and gorgeous (well, at the moment), and I want another opportunity to experience this! Sounds all soppy and gooey, but I'm an emotional mess at the moment grin.

Sorry for the essay!

10000Fireflies Mon 19-Aug-13 18:45:54

Jbrd Please don’t apologise for the essay – your post was pretty succinct compared to some of mine. Come and vent whenever you need. I am not surprised you are en emotional mess at the moment. Any woman would be in your circumstances. Are you getting good support in RL? It does sound good that you can get some answers now. I’m assuming from what you say that DS is your only child at the mo. I don’t want my DS to be an only child. I am trying to brace myself mentally for him to be our only child though. Secondary infertility can be even more torturous than primary as support in RL can be lacking (well you have the one, can’t you be happy with him, etc etc.)

Have been looking some more at the Fertility Friends thread and collating more info from there so going to digest that and start stocking up on supps as long as I think they will be ok while BF. I guess there’s a long enough gap btwn morning feeds and bedtime. About 7 hours to digest! Time to ditch the evening glass of wine too!! I keep getting a last, good bottle of fizz to round it off and then cave and get more.

I can’t write any more if I wanted on this post, as DS wants me to sit with my face right up to the TV too while Night Garden is on!

willitbe Mon 19-Aug-13 23:56:04

jbrd - sorry I am posting under a different name from what I would do normally on this thread. But I just want to ask if you have had another scan, since the one at 7+4? I only ask because I had a scan at 7+3, known dates etc and sac measuring less than 5 weeks, empty etc. was told it was wrong dates or miscarriage. Went back 11 days later and baby fine, correct size for dates etc, and went on to be normal pregnancy with my daughter. I am sorry if the miscarriage has been confirmed, as having multiple miscarriages myself, I know how hard it is to cope with. But I just wanted to suggest you get a second scan before taking medical management. I am sorry for interfering if a sad loss has been confirmed already.

hopefulgum Tue 20-Aug-13 00:14:34

Morning Ladies.

Jbrd, I do understand your desire to have the miscarriage complete. I hope the medical management goes well (as well as can be expected). I wish now that I had gone for that option for my second miscarriage instead of the surgical option as I do worry it may have caused scarring.

As for the fasting - I totally agree with you - I have always thought that starving diets were a bad idea, but from all the scientific and anecdotal evidence, I think the fasting is very different as you are not starving the rest of the time - just two days a week. It is what our ancestors did - it was feast and famine- and our bodies are adapted to function best like that. Also, the medical evidence for lowering cholesterol, blood sugar etc makes me think it is a good idea. Of course if (whensmile) I get pregnant I plan to eat a good balanced diet without any fasting. Roll on BFP!

I am so pleased to report that I still haven't had a positive opk. DH will be home tonight. I had a very low temperature this morning, so I think I may ovulate tomorrow or the next day, so I will do another opk tonight, and also seduce DH. I hope he isn't too tired from all the driving, but I bet he'll need some relaxation grin From all accounts, his father's surgery went well, but we don't know yet how bad the skin cancer is,and if it has spread.

Waving to willitbe - I wish I could work out who you used to beconfused

mozzamummy, your holiday to Switzerland sounds lovely.

Hello everyone else. I must dash, have to get the brood ready for school and myself for work without DH to help...oh wait, that's the same as every day wink

JBrd Tue 20-Aug-13 11:51:06

Willitbe - yes, I did have another follow-up scan last week, when I should have been nearly 9 weeks, and the results were exactly the same. The EPU is extremely careful with these things, they did not even refer to it as miscarriage, that term only started to be used once I discussed management options with them.
Just been in to sign the consent form and take the first rounds of meds. Then back in on Thursday (unless things happen in the meantime). Quite resigned to it all now, sigh. Trying to take my mind off things by doing some baking and garden work. Oh, and getting my eyebrows threaded later wink

10000Fireflies Tue 20-Aug-13 19:23:12

Willit thanks for sharing the info on scans etc. Really useful to know. The medical profession scares me! I've heard so many awful stories recently.

Jbrd it's good to hear the EPU have taken care with you. Thinking of you. It must be awful to go through. Have you got nice weather where you are? It's lovely and summery again in London. How are your eyebrows? I don't have any left to thread!!

I was stocking up on painkillers in Boots as DS a bit poorly today. Not sure what's up with him, but glad I worked out the lady in front was carting a chicken-pox ridden child around. Gave them a wide berth and made sure the shop assistant kept well clear of DS. She pointedly used some hand gel after I commented on it. It crossed my mind to buy some Pregnacare while I was there but I couldn't be bothered, which is not really the attitude is it???!! And I am sure I must be ovulating or close on it as had a wildly erotic dream last night. In fact, I had no idea I'd got such a good imagination!! I think that's enough over-sharing for the time being though!! shock wink

willitbe Tue 20-Aug-13 23:08:24

Jbrd - it is good that you had confirmation. I hope that the med's work quickly and efficiently for you. Having been through several miscarriages myself (that should help hopefulgum work out who I am!), I can empathise with you. I hope that everyone around you ensures you get extra TLC too.

hopefulgum Tue 20-Aug-13 23:39:16

Good morning ladies. I am glad the weather is sunny in London Fireflies, it has been cold and wet for ever over here. I do love the rain, but not every day for two weeks straight! How am I supposed to get my washing dry? My living room resembles a Chinese laundry. And I have to use the dryershock which is practically unheard of in my house.

Jbrd, I hope the medical management is not too painful and difficult. I know a miscarriage is difficult, no matter how it happens, but I hope for you, the physical part isn't too bad. ((hugs))

Fireflies I am a bit envy of your erotic dream! It's been a while since I had one of those. My DH got home last night, and we DTD, but to be honest, it isn't exactly an erotic dream hmm He's come home with the man flu, so I dosed him up with cold and flu meds, and we managed a quickie. What is so bleeding frustrating is I still haven't had a positive opk. And, yes, I did want it to hold off because DH was away, but now I am tired, and kind of wish I was ovulating today so I can feel I'd done my bit for this month. As it is, I doubt I'll be able to interest my DH when he is full of snot and a sore head [frustrated emoticon]. I am now on day 14, but it is not unusual for me to ovulate on day 15 or 16, and once it was day 22 confused. I only have one more opk left, so I will use it today, then I will just have to try to have SWI every second day and hope for the best...

willitbe, I think I might know who you are, but there have been a few over forties who have had multiple miscarriages. Anyway, are you ttc now? How old is your baby?

willitbe Wed 21-Aug-13 21:47:21

The "baby" is now 8 years old, my middle child. I have stopped ttc for some time now, (must be about 4 or more threads ago???!!!! I used to keep the lists in order) but I do keep a check on old friends here. I look forward to the day when I am celebrating your pregnancy.

10000Fireflies Wed 21-Aug-13 22:46:55

Awww Gallway. How are you?? I hope you are well. Miss your lists!!

hopefulgum Thu 22-Aug-13 00:19:08

Oh, Yes, I thought it was you, Galway wink. It is lovely that you still keep an eye on us. I still find it hard to believe I am still here, still ttc after all this time. I wish I had the strength to give up, and at times I do think I can do it, but it never lasts.

My youngest DS will turn 5 tomorrow. He is the beautiful miracle baby I thought I would never have, so I know I have been very blessed, and it is probably very cheeky of me to want more of the same, but it doesn't stop me.grin

I finally got my + opk yesterday. But my DH is full of the man-flu and stayed up marking (he's also a teacher), and we didn't DTD. I am not actually all that bothered. I think the + opk was catching the end of the surge because I felt O pain last night and this morning my temperature is up. So I think I ovulated last night and DTD the night before is probably good timing. Last night may have been better, but c'est la vie - I can't do anything about it now. I still feel timing was good enough and I have as much chance as any month. Maybe we'll DTD tonight, just in case. But I have felt my cervix and it is shut up tight and very firm, so I doubt it would make a difference.

I seem to have picked up DH's cold now, so I might just go to bed with a hot water bottle and a good book smile

What's going on for everyone else???

hopefulgum Fri 23-Aug-13 10:40:42

Tiptoe-ing in to whisper hello, because it seems like everyone must be asleep...it is very quiet in the snug this last couple of days.

DS turned 5 today and has been so delighted at the gifts and treats, it's so lovely. I am so very lucky to have had this little fellow in my forties. If anyone is in any doubt, it has been so worthwhile.

Anyway, fertility friend says I ovulated three days ago, but I beg to differ. I think when I put another high temperature in tomorrow, it will shift ovulation day, and if it doesn't I will. Not that it makes any difference, if fertilization took place, then I will know soon enough and one day won't make much difference.

I did another fast day on Thursday and it is getting quite easy, but I am not impressed with thw lack of weight loss. I suppose I am not getting fatter which is a good thing, but I was hoping to be substantially slimmer by Christmas angry

It's Friday night and DS (20) has made pizza and a malteaser cake. He's so handy around the kitchen grinBut I can't eat pizza, so I will have to put something together for me. Then We'll watch "Broadchurch" which we are enjoying immensely, and then fall into bed!

Love to all, would love to hear some news.

jbrd, I hope all is well for you (( bear ))

isadorable Fri 23-Aug-13 12:14:16

Happy birthday to your DS gum! Hope your FIL is doing well after his op.

I have been very quiet as got yet more problems - my Dad has what looks like a tumour and is really suffering. I'm just waiting to book my ticket to go see them when we know more. Work has been chaotic and a bit annoying... not many people are around but still need to progress. My little one is more than ready to go back to creche in September. Her dad's job is being extended which is great news. Ttc is still not top of our list sady! AF came early this month so this is the weekend to get to it... Wish us luck and oh the energy to get down to it blush!

The DHEA has started to make me bristle (!) but I'm going to persevere.

Welcome back Fireflies - hope your stay is short. Hope you're doing OK JBrd? Love to everyone and a hello from me to willitbe too!

Irishmammybread Fri 23-Aug-13 14:54:17

Happy birthday to your little boy gum! Hope you had a lovely day. Sounds like good timing for this month, according to those stats on the babycentre website your chances are better from dtd on the two days prior to ovulation than on the day itself anyway.
It must be great having your DS cooking for you! My DS,also 20,is coming home this weekend but unfortunately he prefers eating what I've baked rather than doing it himself! He's already put in an order for things like roast dinners that he doesn't make for himself when he's away !
Isadorable so sorry to hear about your Dad's health problems,it must be a worry for you. Is your little one getting bored over the summer hols?
It's good that she enjoys creche and is looking forward to going back, it makes it very hard to leave them if they're crying and clinging to you!
Good luck for this weekend!
JBrd hope everything is progressing for you and the medical management is effective. It is agonising to be left in limbo waiting to miscarry so at least it will be some relief when it is complete,and I'm glad they can do some investigation for you. I was told even after my third MC they wouldn't do any workup for me as I was 44 with three DC..
Hello to a fellow countrywoman willitbe ,nice to hear from you again!
Do I remember correctly that you were considering fostering? That's something I'd love to do but I would find it hard to give the children back!

isadorable Fri 23-Aug-13 18:30:42

Hi Irish - hope you have a lovely weekend with your son. How are things with your family? My dd loves crèche though she is moving to one loser to here in September so we may have tears again. She's had a good summer but when I have lots of work she does get stuck with Charlie and Lola more than I'd like. Yes very upsetting about my dad. We just need to know what it is now I suppose and take it from there.

willitbe Fri 23-Aug-13 22:10:43

Irish - hi, yes you remember correctly regarding the fostering, it has been a very slow application, we are going to "panel" in two weeks time. Then hopefully we will be on the books to foster.

If I am honest I still have moments of thinking about ttc again, but focussing on fostering has helped me stick to using contraception, which is good, as I am not sure how sain I would be if we did restart ttc!!!!

Seeing folk here on this thread get their babies has helped me through the process of stopping ttc. I can enjoy others joy at reaching their dream. I hope that there are many more babies soon!

sparklysapphire Fri 23-Aug-13 23:29:41

Just popping in to say hi quickly. Our internet us down so posting from my phone instead of being able to catch up properly. Gum, your little DS sounds lovely, and I hope he thoroughly enjoyed his birthday.
JBrd, I hope the medical management resolves things quickly. Thinking of you.
All ok here, baby now engaged, due next week, but expect to need induction. I've been really tired today, not much sleep, due to DD mainly, then walked the mile into town & back with bag full of picnic stuff, which I didn't expect to wear me out as much as it did, as Im very used to the walk.
Welcome back fireflies, I hope you only gave a short wait for DC 2.
Hi to everyone else, enjoy the bank holiday!

sparklysapphire Fri 23-Aug-13 23:31:30

Fireflies, obviously that should say have.....

hopefulgum Fri 23-Aug-13 23:52:17

Oh, nice to see some chatting in the Snug.

My LO had a great birthday. He was so excited and impressed with the gift we bought him. He kept saying it was the best day of his life and how much he loved his dad and me. He's so delightful, God knows I love him fiercely.

We are having a casserole evening tonight with some friends (11 adults and 15 kids shock), to celebrate Charlie's birthday, so today will be busy. I don't know what possessed me to organise the kids haircuts this morning as well as take DD to netball etc! I hope my DH will step up and help out a bit more than he usually does otherwise I will be stressed out and by the time our friends arrive I will be ready for bed [crazy woman emoticon].

After this morning's nice high temperature, fertility friend moved my ovulation day to where I thought it should be. So we had SWI 4,3 and 1 day before ovulation. I know 2 days is optimum, but this will have to do. Surely there would have been sperm in the right place at the right time? I actually feel that timing and sperm meeting egg is not the issue for me. I think it is more to do with quality of the egg, and/or implantation issues. But I do believe on of these eggs will be alright if I just persevere.

Just read on fertility friends of women having babies, naturally, at 50 and 53 shock I know they are rare, but it makes me feel hopeful. If a 50 year old can, then surely it isn't too late at 46? smile

hopefulgum Fri 23-Aug-13 23:59:43

isadorable, thank you for asking after my FIL. He had a rather large skin cancer cut from his face, poor thing, and now has to have another bout of radiation therapy (which he had about 6 months ago). I am afraid he is very down about it and when my DH talked to him last night he basically said he feels he hasn't got long sad. He asked his doctor if he should go traveling (to visit his daughter in another state) or wait and the doctor told hm not to wait. I am not sure how we should interpret that. It may be that the Dr thinks he should just keep living his life despite the treatment, or maybe the Dr is saying he hasn't got long, so he needs to do things now? We don't know, and FIL's always been a glass half empty kind of man so his take on it is that he's going to pass away soon..

He has had so many health issues in the last two years, I guess he sick of it all (deep vein thrombosis, pancreatitis, skin cancer). He is only about 76, but he seems a lot older and quite frail. He isn't very active anymore, tends to sleep a lot or watch television. It is quite sad as he used to be very active and involved in life.

I hope you dad is ok, and that you will know soon what is going on.

isadorable Sun 25-Aug-13 11:53:10

Gum your poor fil - my dad has had dvts and he is nearly 75 and recently seemed very frail. So sad. I am in awe of you cooking for so many people. Hope it went well.

Sparkly - how exciting to be nearly there. Hope you can get some rest now over the bank holiday- when's your due date?

I need to get up and clear up the house. More space really has equalled more mess in our case! I don't think we're having enough action for me to get pregnant. Better try and step it up a gear as I can feel the months slipping past even if I don't want to make it rule my life I know we need to give it importance or we'll regret it...

Isabeller Sun 25-Aug-13 22:02:27

Waving from over here. I am soldiering on, very happy to be pregnant but feeling rather drained.

Coincidentally I'm also concerned about my Dad who's unwell fortunately he doesn't live too far from Ds mum so I'm going to see him tomorrow evening when she's in bed.

Love and cake to all

OgdenNashWroteMe Sun 25-Aug-13 22:17:22

Hello, I wonder if I can join you?

I am 42 and have been ttc dc4 for 2 years, although only charting for the last 4 months.

I have posted over on the short luteal thread as my cycle only lasts 20ish days and my LP is around 7 days.
I have had a fallopian tube removed 2 years ago, and had two miscarriages prior to this. No problems conceiving up to that point.

Do any of you who already have DC feel awful going to the GP to ask for help? I haven't been able to face it yet.

hopefulgum Tue 27-Aug-13 00:19:42

Welcome OgdenNash. Have you tried anything for the short luteal phase? I have heard B6 is good, and also Vitex. Progesterone will also help. I think it is worth talking to your GP about it as it may make a difference.

I think it depends on what your GP is like. I see two GP's (I am in Australia and can shop around for a doctor). One is my family doctor whom I see for all sorts of things, but I see a different one about all things baby related as she is much more compassionate. However, even if your GP isn't compassionate, they have an obligation to help you, don't they, no matter your age? In my opinion, you are still young and have time to have a baby. I don't thin it matters if you already have have kids. I have five but that isn't stopping me, nor should it make any difference with the GP. I think there are rules in the UK regarding NHS funded IVF and if you already have kids.

Hello Isabeller, how far along your pregnancy are you now? Have you have the scan around 18-20 weeks? And have/will you find out the sex? It is so exciting. Sorry you are feeling drained, but it will be worth it.

My LO has woken up feeling terrible. His head cold has gone from bad to worse, so I will take him to the doctor's today. We have had a bad run in this house. I think I am the only one who hasn't been sick this last couple of weeks. Touch wood I stay healthy.

mozzarellamummy Tue 27-Aug-13 06:39:02

Hello everybody, yesterday my phone deleted my post angry..I'm summarising here, gum, isabeller, isadorable Iam sorry for your fathers and father in law..
I'm having a beautiful holiday with my daughter, my sister and nephew at the seaside..each of them is a one child and it's beautiful to have them together, they're just one year apart..
Feeling a bit grumpy about skipping this cycle as Dp is not here, but it will be good to skip the tww too!
I heard yesterday about a lady who has her babies at 42,45 ..not bad!!
22Th was my baby girl anniversary and I visited her grave, it was a tearful day, even Dp ended up in crying after a stupid raw between us and then left the house, he then calmed down and then came back again..I realize he's still grieving too, but there's no way to let him speak about it and it's hard to speak about ttc too because the two things are so entangled together..

10000Fireflies Tue 27-Aug-13 11:30:51

Welcome Ogden . May your stay with us be short and fruitful!!

Mozzarella I hope you are ok? I'm so sorry to hear about the anniversary of your baby girl. I hope you and DP are feeling better. Great you are having a nice holiday with your family.

Isabeller keep enjoying that cake. When's the baby due?

Am slowly looking at what supps I can take while BF DS. He does not want to be weaned!!

We all seem to be having trouble with our DF's and FIL's. It is tough trying to balance a young family with ageing parents. I feel under a real obligation to get myself fit and healthy for DS so I can be around and helpful to him for as long as possible.

Waves to Gum and everyone else. Hope you've all been enjoying the bank holiday. FF xx

Isabeller Tue 27-Aug-13 18:27:15

Rats, lost post. Firstly, welcome to the new people. This is a very supportive thread. (I have an adult DD and am pregnant after DE IVF for age and medical reasons).

I'm so sorry to hear about your tearful day mozzarella.

I'm 18 weeks tomorrow and still getting some pretty rough days with headaches and nausea. I started out too fat but moderately fit but nearly 4 months of spending half the week lying in a heap is not improving matters. I agree 100% with your take on fitness fireflies there must be something constructive I can do despite having to start from where I am now. Mind you I can still lift heavy stuff so it's not all bad.

DP heard last week that his hip replacement will be 5 days before my 20 week scan so I'm crossing my fingers I'll be able to get him there somehow. They have an accelerated rehab programme and keep telling him how young he is for this op and how he will no doubt recover really fast. I'm so grateful it is happening now.

10000Fireflies Tue 27-Aug-13 20:24:50

Isabeller I carefully researched and then bought a boxed set of ante and post natal exercise DVDs... which have been gathering dust on the shelf ever since they arrived!! smile. But if that is your thing, might be worth doing a bit of Googling. Sorry to hear you're feeling so rough, but at least you're nearly half way through!!

I effectively lost weight when I was preggers as I only put on one stone, and I slimmed down afterwards v fast. However, I discovered the joys of being able to stuff chocolate, cake and biscuits down my gob like never before, and then it became a very bad habit, so will now have to apply myself to losing it again. Bit of an oopsie, really. I am hoping I can get preggers and lose weight again and then be more careful afterwards.smile To this aim, I bought 3 bumper packs of Pregnacare today. Time to see if I can coax DH into considering SWI/SWOI - I don't care which it is at the moment!!

Great that you have a date for DH's hip op. From what I know, these ops are no where near as difficult to recover from these days. Hope that is the case for your DH.

I have told myself I have to spend less time on the internet, but it's just so lovely having a chill on the sofa when DS doesn't need anything.

Waves to all. FF xx

hopefulgum Wed 28-Aug-13 00:06:38

Good Morning ladies.I have another day off work looking after sick DS. Honestly, this winter, since getting back from our holiday I have probably averaged a day off a week with all the illness.angry I am a bit over it and wish I could boost DS's health so he didn't get sick so often. However, realistically, going to kindy and daycare he is going to be exposed to viruses and germs all the time. I wish I could clean up his diet a bit. But the problem is that when he is sick I let him eat anything he likes because I'd rather he ate something, which has led to very bad habits. I am going to make chicken soup from scratch today and try to get him to eat some.

Fireflies, great that you have the pregnacare supplements at the ready smile My Zita West sups still haven't arrived from the UK. They should do any day now. In the meantime I am taking a prenatal supplement and all the extras : Vit D, Fermented fish oil, Vit E,Magnesium,Royal Jelly,B complex,aspirin, Alpha Lipoic Acid and folic acid.

I am now 7 DPo with a beautiful looking chart. Yesterday during class I noticed a distinct cramping and then a series of wierd stabbing pains in my right breast. Implantation??? hmm Not getting my hopes up, but it was something I couldn't ignore. Today I am noticing some lower abdominal aches. Maybe I just need to go to the toilet grin

Isabeller, like you, I worried about my fitness when I was pregnant with DS. Like FF I bought a selection of lovely DVD's, mainly pre and post natal yoga. When DS was about 1 I sold them on ebay - unopened blush The best I could muster was a slow waddle on the beach and some swimming or walking in the pool. I had a very bad loosened sacro-illiac joint which was incredibly painful(towards the end of the pregnancy) which meant all I could manage was walking in the swimming pool. So I put on weight and just resigned myself to losing through breastfeeding, which I did to a point, but not as much as I would have liked. In fact when I was weighed when pregnant again (miscarried) I was 85kgs, which was the heaviest I'd ever been, but the doctor wasn't concerned. I am glad to have lost about 10 kilos since then so that if I get pregnant again I won't have to drag that extra 10 around.

I am still having trouble with my hip, and hope I don't have to have a hip replacement like your DH, Isabeller. Did he have an accident or something that means he needs the replacement?

Mozzamamma,the 22nd must have been a very difficult day. When I light a candle for my DS's whom I miscarried, I will light one for your darling daughter too.

I am glad you are having a nice seaside holiday. May I ask where you have been? My mum and dad have just landed in Italy for a few months. My mother complains about the heat (which is rediculous considering she lives in Australia), but my Dad can't wait to get to his town and wander into the square every evening to chat with his old friends.He always returns to Australia looking fit and tanned and healthy. I am afraid my mother always has a scowl, nothing is ever good enough or right. I wonder why she is so negative and how I ever came from her womb confused I think I recognised that I didn't fit all that well in my family at a young age and left when I was 17 to live in the city and go to Uni.

Wow, I have nattered on and on haven't I? Sorry! Have a nice piece of cake for reading through!

Deige, when do you get back from you holiday? I miss you thanks

Morien Wed 28-Aug-13 08:44:43

Hello everyone, how are you all? Welcome to the newbies! And welcome back to the returnees wink Hope none of you have to stay very long (although you may be like me and not want to leave in the end grin)

mozzarella I've been thinking of you lately; it must have been so hard. Glad you're enjoying your holiday though.

jbrd how are you? thinking about you too.

I have a lot of sympathy for those struggling with DF/FIL illness; we went through that with my dad a few years ago (he survived, thanks to a heart transplant) and it was hard.

gum hope your DS is better soon.

isabeller I had both hips replaced in my mid-30's and haven't looked back. Recovery is quick as long as you do what you're told and don't push it, but you do need a lot of help and support for a couple of weeks. (I went scuba diving in Egypt 5 weeks after my first op, which maybe wasn't the wisest thing to do, but I felt more than up to it). Best of luck to your DP for his op! (and to you for looking after him hmm)

Saw the gynae yesterday, all well apparently. Heard the heartbeat and (apparently) the swoosh of blood down the placenta. Still tired, though a bit less so; work's been really quiet and I've been able to spend a lot of time at home which has been perfect - bit worried about it getting back into the swing next week though... 16+4 now.

hopefulgum Wed 28-Aug-13 09:28:29

Wow Morien, I can't believe you are already 16+4. I am glad all is well.

I hope al th eother preggo ladies are well too. Sparkly Saphire, do you have any news for us?

Calibee, is your DH still on leave (That's probably why we haven't heard from you wink

Well, as well as looking after DS all day I have felt quite lousy myself. I am drop dead tired, but I had a reasonable night's sleep. I hope I feel more energetic tomorrow when I am at work. I have literally been completely useless all day.

OgdenNashWroteMe Wed 28-Aug-13 10:33:52

Thank you for the welcome!

Congratulations on your pregnancies Morien and Isabeller, did it take you very long to get there?
I get very sick when I'm pregnant too, silly that I can't wait for that feeling now!

Your Dad is Italian then Gum? We went to Italy (my first time) this year. I absolutely loved it. It's the first place I've been that I want to go back to. Usually I want to try somewhere new when we can actually afford to go abroad, but I really want to go back to Italy. We stayed in an old farmhouse in the mountains near Lucca, it was stunningly beautiful.

Mozzarella I'm so sorry you have lost your baby girl.

Fireflies what is SWI/SWOI?

Gum I have just started taking- vit c, co-enzyme Q10, evening primrose oil (up to ovulation), zinc, vit b6, b complex, selenium and iron. I think I may get the Pregnacare conception too. DH is rolling his eyes at my stash, he doesn't believe in supplements!

My cycle is strange this month. I am crossing my fingers that I ovulated on Day 10 and had a fallback rise. FF says with a dotted line that I ovulated on day 14. If it was day 10 then my LP was 10 days and I could still be said to be spotting, albeit a bit heavily. Probably wishful thinking though. I've had a possible fallback rise before though on month 2, very similar to this month. I wondered if it could possibly be to do with which ovary is producing? I know they had to do a repair on the right one when the removed my tube, they said it would make no difference but I think they were on damage control by then.

DH thinks perhaps I should look into what went wrong with my diagnosis. I should have had a laparotomy much sooner which could have avoided my tube loss. I don't know if I want to open that can of worms...

10000Fireflies Wed 28-Aug-13 12:08:43

Ogden Shagging with/without intent. Though one of the more regular threadees might be able to correct me as I think I might have the initials for the second bit wrong. The supps you are taking are v similar to the list I had. 'Angelbump' recommended taking those on top of Pregnacare. I had an attaché case full!!! DH took his fair share too.

Which reminds me - male infertility increases with age, but is not so well know about. Is worth bearing in mind. My DH certainly had to make lifestyle changes before DS was conceived.

Hi Morien. Nice to meet you. smile

Good to see we are all getting supp'd up.

sparklysapphire Wed 28-Aug-13 12:37:41

Hi all, just popping in quickly. Its my due date today,but no sign of anything & I don't have much faith in due dates anyway. I'm having a sweep tomorrow, but still think I'll need induction on Monday, but hoping not. I'll try & catch up later from laptop not phone,which I'm on now, if I get chance.

Morien Wed 28-Aug-13 15:05:05

Ogden I got my first BFP in the first month of ttc last year, followed by MMC at 11 weeks in early Aug. Started ttc again immediately, but it took quite a few months to get my cycle back on track. Strangely enough, my EDD is only a few days off the EDD from my MMC. It has to be said, though, that my idea of ttc was very low key - no supplements other than pregnancy vitamins with folic acid, no temping, no OPKs ( and irregular cycles!) Lots of DTD though grin In fact we'd just been told we were unlikely to conceive naturally, and were about to start fertility treatment when I got my BFP grin

mozzarellamummy Wed 28-Aug-13 15:12:16

Hello everybody and thanks for your thoughts smile, gum I'm in the north on the adriatic sea, the sea and beaches are nothing exceptional but this place is very children-friendly with lots of playgrounds on the seaside and my family has a beautiful house built in, the thirties with a beautiful garden..I spent here lots of holidays as a kid..

morien happy to hear from you! sparkly waiting for the big news and the baby name!!
I'm a bit anxious for the new work which is starting soon..I know I'll miss my colleagues, but I really hope I will enjoy teaching ..anyway I'm happy to have a change in life..
I also bought supplements online, it's a mix of coQ10 and vitamins..I couldn't take more then a pill a day because I would mess them all, obviously I forgot to bring them here..I bought something also for dp (zinc, vitamins, taurine) but he doesn't want to take them..I wonder wether after 7-8 months of trying he should also get checked..what do you think? He's absolutely reluctant.. confused

10000Fireflies Wed 28-Aug-13 18:49:42

Ogden I don't know if it helps to know, but if you have both ovaries, having only one fallopian tube doesn't reduce your chance of conceiving by 50% (as I was told by a consultant). There are receptors in the uterus and fallopian tube, so even if you ovulate on the 'wrong' side there is still a good chance that the egg will make it into the uterus. I found a great article on this two years ago but can't find it for the moment. There is something on the ectopic.org.uk website if you're interested.

Not sure about pursuing your HP re mis-diagnosis as I don't know your full story, but it is rife in the fertility industry. I was thrown off the TTC track with misdiagnoses of endometriosis, PCOS and a rare form of cancer!

Good luck Sparkling. Nice to have another nearly-grad on the thread.

Mozzarella it would probably be a good idea to get your chap's swimmers checked. We found though that the NHS declared DH's to be ok, whereas fertility clinic suggested it was not so good. The crunch was first round of IVF which had to be ICSI. That shocked DH into doing more. And it cost £1K more!!

Not getting v far on my research on BF and the full list of supps, but feel positive taking Pregnacare again and last night DH proved to be a bit of a hero getting DS off to sleep with just a bottle of manky milk. (It's manky because it's a mix of oat milk, oat cream and prescription formula. The first two are pretty paletable, the second stinks and tastes of gravy so no wonder it's difficult to get him to drink it).

Have a good evening all. ff xx

diege Wed 28-Aug-13 20:36:59

Hello! Back from hols, plus add-on stay over night at Blackpool 'Pleasure' Beach hmm. Look forward to reading through and catching up - you've been a chatty lot grin

mozzarellamummy Wed 28-Aug-13 22:06:07

Hello everybody and thanks for your thoughts smile, gum I'm in the north on the adriatic sea, the sea and beaches are nothing exceptional but this place is very children-friendly with lots of playgrounds on the seaside and my family has a beautiful house built in, the thirties with a beautiful garden..I spent here lots of holidays as a kid..

morien happy to hear from you! sparkly waiting for the big news and the baby name!!
I'm a bit anxious for the new work which is starting soon..I know I'll miss my colleagues, but I really hope I will enjoy teaching ..anyway I'm happy to have a change in life..
I also bought supplements online, it's a mix of coQ10 and vitamins..I couldn't take more then a pill a day because I would mess them all, obviously I forgot to bring them here..I bought something also for dp (zinc, vitamins, taurine) but he doesn't want to take them..I wonder wether after 7-8 months of trying he should also get checked..what do you think? He's absolutely reluctant.. confused

mozzarellamummy Wed 28-Aug-13 22:11:28

Sorry again my tricky phone..posted twice confused

JBrd Wed 28-Aug-13 22:19:02

Hello everyone! Thanks for thinking about me, it's much appreciated! I've taken a bit of a break from MN, just reading, but not posting... Been drifting a bit in the last weeks, dealing with the mc and its fallout.

mozza Your little girl's anniversary must have been a tough day, I hope you are managing to get back to a more 'normal' life now (whatever that is). Grief can come in many different ways, and even though we learn how to live with it on a day-to-day basis, it can re-surface violently at any time. I hope that you and your DP can support each other through this. I think we often forget how much men can be affected by losing a baby...

sparkly Happy due date grin Hope things get moving for you soon! That came around really quickly, blimey.
Same for Morien, how can you be almost 17 weeks already?!

gum Hope you'll all get over your illnesses soon. It's so annoying when it's just one thing after another, you never seem to get a break from feeling poorly.

Hello to the newbies! May your stay on this thread be short wink

I'm doing OK - turns out that I didn't have to have the whole course of medical management after all. I reacted really strongly to the first round of meds they gave me last Tuesday, the tablet that is meant as a 'preparation', softening the cervix etc. The plan was to go into hospital then on Thursday for the pessary, staying for the day to complete the miscarriage. But after 2 very uncomfortable days (and especially nights!) with lots of paracetamol, I passed a big piece of tissue on Thursday morning. I took it with me into hospital, and they confirmed what I had suspected, it was the sac. Then they sent me straight back home again.
I can't say how relieved I was that I didn't have to do the medical treatment after all, I had been dreading it.
I've been recovering really well since then, although I seem to have managed to pick up an infection - currently on antibiotics, which seem to be doing the trick.

The kind GP actually wrote me a sick note for the whole week, but I am seriously thinking about going back to work tomorrow... As nice as it is being at home, but I am dreading the return to reality a bit and would like it to be over and done with... Been living in a bit of a bubble since the bad news of the mc.
On the other hand, it's lovely just sitting in the garden and reading, so relaxing and soothing for my prickly state of nerves... It's pretty much all I did today - after I drove my mum to the airport. She's been visiting since Friday, and could not have picked a worse time, the poor thing. I'm ashamed to say that I was absolutely horrible to her sad She means so well, but she drives me crazy. Which I struggle with at the best of times, but with the mc to deal with as well - very bad combination. I think she was really looking forward to going home sad. I cringe when I think about how awful I was [guilty emoticon]. Why do relationships with parents have to be so difficult?!

10000Fireflies Wed 28-Aug-13 23:10:29

Jbrd sorry to hear you're having such a rough time, though good to hear that you're recovering well. Take it easy. Don't go back to work before you have to though. Take the time to recover properly and with a sick note!!

I'm sure your Mum understands. I have similar scenarios with mine. If you think she would appreciate it, can you send her some flowers or just a card reminding her that you love her really??! I agree, relationships with parents and other family members can be wrought with difficulties, and I don't know about you, they seem to get worse as we get older.

Night all. FF xx

hopefulgum Wed 28-Aug-13 23:12:36

Jbrd, I feel for you. Yes, relationships with parents can be difficult. I know mine is (but I know that ours is pretty dysfunctional). I couldn't have coped having my mum around when I was going through the miscarriage and emotional aftermath. In fact my parents have no idea that I have miscarried.

Hopefully the next time you see your mum, you can have a better visit. I think your behaviour is completely acceptable under the circumstances and I am sure your mum understands. I think reading in the garden for a few more days wouldn't be a bad thing. I understand that getting back to work means "getting back to normal", but be kind to yourself, it is a tough journey, and emotionally you are probably still a bit raw.

I am glad you didn't need the medical management in the end. Will they test what you passed (sorry, don't know how to phrase it)? Having the testing done really helped me to understand that the baby wasn't well enough to continue growing. Of course it didn't make me feel good about any of it, I still felt angry and cheated, but it helped me understand that it wasn't something I could have avoided.

Mozzamummy, how lovely to have a beautiful home on the coast to holiday in.

Nice to hear from you Sparkly, can't wait for the news of your new baby.

Welcome home Diege, looking forward to hearing all about your holiday.

Fireflies, are you trying to wean baby fireflies? His concoction sounded rather unappetising grin Are you concerned about falling pregnant while breastfeeding? I was, but I did fall pregnant while bf Charlie. However after I miscarried (I stupidly thought it may have contributed)I weaned him. I did find the BFing really difficult in the first trimester. My nipples were so sensitive - that's how I knew I was pregnant.

I am feeling that way at the moment actually, though no longer breastfeeding (obviously). But my nipples are so sore and it was almost unbearable to have DH touch them shock He also commented on them being really "hot" (and he meant temperature). Yesterday I felt so tired, I really do wonder. I know it is way too early for symptoms, but I feel like I could be pregnant.I know, I say this far too often for it to have any weight. Just ignore me.... Still have to wait a few more days to test anyway.

That's what I say every cycle until I get to 9DPO and just can't help myself...grin

woollywomble Thu 29-Aug-13 10:45:07

Hi everyone, I was here last year in Sep when I had a mc at almost 11 weeks having fallen pregnant unexpectedly at 41. Despite not having planned the pregnancy I found myself wanting to try again to replace the loss. DH (reluctantly) agreed, to keep me happy I think; he is 11 years older than me and we have two DDs already.

Anyway, finally got another BFP in June but it seems the same has happened again, at exactly the same point in the pregnancy. Have had spotting throughout then heavy bleeding this week at almost 11 weeks. Phoned EPU who said just to come in for my 12 week scan as planned on Monday.

I haven't posted for a long time as I found it made me even more obsessive about TTC but have kept up with all your news - Congrats to Morien, Diege and Sparkly and others with good news. Was gutted to read your updates JBrd, I was due in March too - hope you're doing OK. Always look forward to your posts Gum every morning. Hello to everyone else too.

My dilemma now is whether to give this another go or just to accept that it was not meant to be. DH wants us to move on and accept it, but I keep changing my mind. My head tells me that there are so many negatives - our ages (DH is 53, I am 42) and the implications of this in terms of health risks, finances, retirement plans and energy levels - let alone the fact that there is a real chance that this too would end in mc. Then there is the fact that my DDs, at 7 and 10, are becoming more independent and there would be a huge age gap between them and any baby, meaning the new addition would almost be like an only child. It would mean that there would be less money and attention to spend on the girls and they would miss out on travel and other experiences.

Despite all this, my heart still longs for another and it's hard to revise this vision of the future that I longingly imagined. Time is running out and I already regret not trying for DC3 earlier, I don't want to look back in years to come and regret not giving it one last chance. I do try to analyse this longing - is it because the clock is ticking that I feel such a pressure to have another; is it a way of denying my children are growing up and will leave me one day; or is it just denying the inevitable fact of the menopause and growing old.

Sorry for rambling, but it is quite cathartic as I can't really talk to anyone in RL, including DH as he just doesn't really get it. So to sum up, I might be joining you again, I might not - how's that for decisive action smile.

10000Fireflies Thu 29-Aug-13 11:05:02

Gum there are two issues with BF DS now. My main concern is that some of the conception supplements may not be good for him to consume via my milk. Also he was waking up to five times a night and BF was the only way to get him back to sleep. I think we are slowly getting there. It’s been difficult – intensive teething and a cows milk allergy have made it difficult hence the unappealing cocktail!! If DH can get him off to sleep again without me and it becomes a regular thing, then I can take a load of supps in the evening and digest them overnight. grin I think the two remaining daytime feeds are going to be more difficult to drop. I would BF while preggers, though I am exhausted enough as it is, so I doubt if I would have the stamina to do so. I'd probably have to spend 9 months on the sofa!!

I hope your hot nips are a good sign!!

Hi Woolly. Hoping you're wrong about the MC. You and your DH are similar ages to me and my DH (I'm 3 years older than you and DH 3 years younger than you.) The age gap btwn us and DS really worries me. The finance issues is a big worry to me too. I'm sure you'll find a way through it all.

Really have to apply myself to some packing now. Having a long w/e in Edinburgh. Really looking forward to it. Just wish the bags would pack themselves!!

sparklysapphire Thu 29-Aug-13 12:15:30

Mozza, your baby girl's anniversary must have been so hard, I have been thinking of you.

JBrd, I'm sorry you had a hard time with your mum, I know I wouldn't have coped with mine around after my m/c, I'm sure she'll understand how hard this is for you. What a relief to avoid the full medical management, but please don't go back to work before you feel ready.

Woolly, you sound like you're having a difficult time, I'm so sorry you've had another m/c. I hope you can reach a decision you & your DH are both comfortable with regarding TTC.

I'm sorry to see so many of you having DFs/FILs with health problems, and hope they are resolved soon. As DH and I both lost our DFs many years ago, it's our DMs we have to worry about - I think they can both be a bit difficult in different way as they've only had themselves to please for so many years. They're both in reasonable health at the moment, so long may that continue.

Diege, I hope Whitby was lovely and you got some rest.

Good luck for this month gum, and I hope your DS is back to full health soon, it sounds like a bad run. Both DH and DD have colds - this definitely not the time for me to have one.

Welcome ogden, hi fireflies, and hello to all. DD and DH are out for a bit, I suppose I'd better go and fill in my birth plan - I expect to all be irrelevant if I'm induced which is why I haven't done it before.

OgdenNashWroteMe Thu 29-Aug-13 23:11:14

Fireflies I didn't know that, thank you- it gives me a little more hope. I don't know if I have the energy to pursue anything regarding my treatment aswell as ttc, an apology from them for the dismissiveness would be nice though!
Good luck with the weaning, not easy even without an allergy. Have a lovely w/e!

JBrd I'm sorry for your loss. Family are so awkward sometimes. After my second miscarriage my DM (who I usually get on well with) asked if I was sure I had ever been pregnant! I hope you manage to take some time for yourself before you have to return to work.

Gum I find it hard to hold off on the testing too, today even though I am spotting heavily (not sure if I should actually count this as AF), I was feeling very nauseous and have been a little for a few days. I ended up testing. And it was negative. And then I felt a bit silly again.

woolly our situations are rather similar and I have spent the last two years hoping it would just happen, two years I really wish I hadn't wasted. I was frightened off by my miscarriages a few years ago, and I too struggle to analyse my reasons. My Mum says it's just something a lot of women live with, you always want more, but I'm not so sure- I know most of my friends have definitely decided no more for them with no regrets. I have decided I am going to speak to my GP though, I'm hoping she will check my progesterone. So many on here have said spotting and early miscarriage can be down to low progesterone. I'm making an appt tomorrow. I hope your scan on Monday brings good news. I bled heavily early in one of my pregnancies but baby stayed put!

hopefulgum Thu 29-Aug-13 23:28:18

Good morning ladies.

Hello woolly, I remember you. It is good to see you because so many of our regulars are regular for a while and then they disappear and I always wonder what happened to them. I am really sorry to hear that you may be miscarrying again. Gosh, it is so darn hard trying for a baby after 40. Some women get pregnant easily and have easy pregnancies and healthy babies (I did at 41 yrs and 9 months), but then some of us have to deal with the heartbreak of hope and loss, and sometimes over and over again.

I too think of all the things you mentioned. My DS is now 5. Why would I want to start over again? When I embarked on this ttc journey I just wanted to give him a sibling close in age because his nearest sibling is 8 years older. And I was naive enough to believe that with my proven fertility record (5 kids, all easily conceived, no miscarriages) I would give my DS a sibling before he was 4. How wrong I was. And as time has passed I know that it isn't just about giving him a sibling, it is also about what I dearly want, and that is to have one last baby. I absolutely love having babies and kids (clearly, as I chose to have all 5 of mine), I really feel one last child will complete my family and would be good for all of us, not just DS.

But after trying for so long, I ask myself why I would continue to do this, when: there's a very good possibility of more heartache - miscarriage, or worse, a baby with health issues,or not compatible with life; I am 46, almost 47 and the truth is, my 5 year makes me tired so how on earth do I expect I will cope with a baby/toddler at this age? My job is going really well, DS is in full-time school next year, so we'll have two decent wages and no childcare fees - the best off financially we've ever been; almost all my friends (bar the ones on this thread wink) have moved on from the baby stage, most have grown up kids, and are doing all sorts of fun stuff without kids (though to be honest that doesn't bother me much, it does bother DH); and, a BIG factor, my DH doesn't really want a baby, he wanted to move on before we had DS, so another won't be a source of joy for him (though he'd be a great dad no matter what);lastly (that I can think of right now) TTC month after month, year after year can get pretty tedious, and in my case a bit addictive - I find it so hard to let it go- which in some ways might just be a force of habit, but I really think it is because I don't want to give it up. It is also a maddening rollercoaster of emotions. Most of the time I am just fine, but the tww can be a bit crazy. Despite continuously saying I won't get my hopes up, I do, every month, and then when the test is fucking negative,yet again, I feel shit for a couple of hours and just pretend everything is alright. And I do all of it without mentioning a single skerrick of information to my DH. I guess if I stopped ttc I would also save myself a pretty penny on all things ttc related: opks,preg tests,supplements. I could start spending that money on something useful like a gym membership or a Thermo mix hmm

But here's the thing- I just want to carry another child for 9 months, give birth and see the look on the faces of my children when they hold the baby for the first time. There's just nothing better than that, so I am still plugging away, month after month, year after year, and the truth is I don't think I will give up until I no longer have periods. My DH might get one hell of a shock when at 50 I get pregnant with a THB and he's 56 shock!! I still don't think that is too old for a man.

BTW, I got a BFN at 9 dpo this morning. sadI know it is early, but the latest I have ever had a BFP was 10 dpo. All the others were at 9 DPO.

Fireflies, I hope you have a lovely weekend in Edinburgh. I would so love to visit that city. But the way things are going I will have spent our last dollar on pregnancy tests and we'll be eighty and still not have travelled to Europe confused!

hopefulgum Thu 29-Aug-13 23:30:32

Ogdennash, crossed posts. Sorry about your BFN. Don't feel silly, many pregnancies start with spotting. I think it is a very good idea to get you progesterone checked. It might just be the magic bullet you need smile

Rowgtfc72 Fri 30-Aug-13 07:32:04

Hello Gum (and everyone else). I've lurked here for a couple of years but have only posted two or three times. I could have written your post above myself! Ginger ninja is six and a half now. We decided she would be enough, I saw the doc about getting sterilised, then I realised I wanted one last shot at it. Maybe just to feel a baby in my arms again, do things differently, give DD a sibling, I dont know. Im 42 in Jan and having looked at the risks DH said no way. By March and DDs sixth birthday I could have begged, borrowed or stolen a baby. We went on holiday in June and we had a great time with Dd and I had a lightbulb moment. I dont want another baby, my life is good, DD is everything to me. It just felt that everything was slipping out of my control. I was getting older, DD was growing up and didnt need me as much, my body wouldnt do things twenty year olds take for granted! What Im trying to say is I understand the overwheming need for another baby. Its something you should never have to justify either. Will go back to lurking but await news of all your BFPs.smile

woollywomble Fri 30-Aug-13 14:54:35

Gum, I think while there's still a chance it might happen it's hard to give up on that dream. I just find the uncertainty so frustrating - if I knew that this was a non-starter I would find a way of coming to terms with that but there's always that possibility that it might happen, hence the constant roller-coaster of hope and disappointment.

Rowgtfc72, I think it's great that you realized you were happy and took back the control of your life - that's what I feel is missing at the moment - that I'm letting fate control my life rather than making a conscious decision.

I've just been reading some of the threads about parenting sleepless babies and tantrumming toddlers in the hope that I will feel better about (probably) never having to do it again. Then I remember the smell of a newborn's head and I'm back to square one...smile

hopefulgum Sat 31-Aug-13 01:18:51

rowgtfc72, thanks for popping in. It is great that you feel that way, I often wish I could feel the same way. I read on another site, "when there's a baby shaped hole in your heart there's only one thing that can fill it", and that's how I feel.

However, I am intelligent enough to understand that not everyone has the holes in their heart (whatever shape they may take) filled, and I may never have this gap filled.

But as long as I can, I will keep at it. And if I get an epiphany and suddenly realise that it is better not to embark on a new baby, then I will be grateful for that release.

Incidentally, I went out for dinner last night with a friend for her birthday and she invited her other friend who is 39 weeks pregnant. So, all evening the talk was about pregnancy, babies, birth. I am pleased that I was able to happily chat about it without feeling at all sad. I was just really pleased for her, and in some ways, glad she was one carrying the huge bump around (which looked exhausting!). But as I sat there with her, I did often think,"maybe that will be me in 9 -12 months time".

I doubt it will be me in 9 months time. Another clear BFN this morning. I am okay with it. I watched the last episode of Broadchurch when I got up and had a solid good cry and counted all my blessings.

Right, off to the farmer's market, then a catch up with my little sister.

Have a lovely day everyone smile

Rowgtfc72 Sat 31-Aug-13 08:17:52

Gum, I hope I didnt come across as insensitive. I was chatting to a lady at dds swimming who had her last baby at 46. All natural, no help. Its never game over till your out of the game, and from the way you post your still very much in the game. Theres nothing to say it wont be you in 12 months time. (doesnt quite say what I mean to say but hope you get the drift)

HorseyGirl1 Sat 31-Aug-13 21:32:46

Hey there. I think I might just join you ladies. I'm 42 at the end of next month and just about at TTC stage from next week. I had a mmc at 9 weeks in July which was managed by ERPC. I had a little boy last year and a late miscarriage in 2010 when we lost two little boys at 20 weeks. So here I am ready to start all over again. I never actually worried about ever getting pregnant so we just never started until I was 38 and we fell with the boys after just 4 months, 6 months with DS and just one month this year. Feeling scared and more than a little depressed to be in this situation but hey here goes. If I don't try we'll never know and I don't want to reach 50 and realise that I made a mistake by not trying. Wish me luck and happy (really?!) TTC everyone else. x

hopefulgum Sat 31-Aug-13 23:45:47

Welcome Horseygirl. So sorry about your losses. I hope you will have your THB soon. It seems you fall pregnant quite easily, so you may not have to wait too long.

Row, don't worry I didn't think you were insensitive at all. I admire anyone who has been through this journey and is able to stop when they've have enough or realise that it isn't what they want anymore. Unfortunately, I seem to come quite close to that decision, but then can't quite follow through hmm

Anyway, this cycle is a bust, as my temperature has slid downwards and a clear BFN this morning. No more testing this cycle. AF will be here in the next couple of days I'd say.sad

My Zita West supps arrived a few days ago and I've been taking them religiously three times a day. Oh my goodness, my wee is bright green!I bet there's some sort of colouring agent in there just to make us think they must be super fantastic because our wee is green! I have run out of COq10 (which seems to be the latest one that fertility doctors are prescribing for over 40's) so I am patiently waiting for the next lot of super potent ubiquinol (supposed to be more easily absorbed by the body) to arrive.grin

Well, I have had quite a rollercoaster of a weekend. Yesterday I met up with my sister and learned that her family is going through a pretty intense time. After four years of having an affair with a married man, he has finally decided to leave his wife (though it hasn't actually happened yet) and so my sister has finally decided to leave her husband and kids properly (to date she's been living part-time with them), though it is no shock to them as they knew it was coming. However, to top it all off, her 16 year old son has revealed that he has been a girl trapped in a boy's body for years and wants to "come out" as a girl. What a blow for all of them. My poor darling nephew has been so unhappy for years apparently. And for all this to be happening whilst she is in the process of leaving. It's all so messy and heart-breaking. I just hope they can get some counselling for DN, not because they want to change his mind, just so they can all work through it. It is going to be such a hard road for DN to travel. sad

Just when you think every thing is crusing along nicely-ish, life can throw curve balls!

My afternoon was lovely though. I took DD to netball, and her team is 2nd on the ladder, she's very proud and excited about the upcoming finals. I swam 50 laps, which felt really good because I'd skipped a session last week.

Today is father's day over here, so I will shortly be cooking breakfast, then a big roast lunch for parents-in-law.

Happy Sunday everyone. Is anyone else coming up to the nasty am I/aren't I/should I test? time in their cycle? Now that I know it's all over for me, who needs cheering on??thanks

jass43 Sun 01-Sep-13 08:47:06

Me, Hopeful. But I did test yesterday, then started spotting. Of course no flow today, so am currently resisting testing again. And all this with only dtd once last cycle, on CD 6. I am trying to take it in a relaxed way, but who am I kidding? I am going to relax when in menopause. But I am not doing the drugs anymore, I will let my body to decide whether it can or can not do this. On plus side, I have been spending the last few weeks alone with my 8 and 4 yo sons, which has made me wonder whether I am up to a baby at all;-)

HorseyGirl1 Sun 01-Sep-13 12:12:33

Thank you, looking forward to hearing more of your stories. Gosh, your poor nephew and your poor sister, what a lot to deal with.

OgdenNashWroteMe Sun 01-Sep-13 12:36:10

What an emotional time for your sister Gum, I hope your nephew gets the support he needs.

I am at the same stage as you. I had huge backache yesterday and then AF was most definitely in the building. I am counting it as starting then, I am pretty sure now that I am spotting before this point as there is a definite sudden change in flow. Previously I have been counting the heavy spotting as AF, but reading on here makes me think otherwise? This gives me a LP of 10 days. Hope I'm not manipulating the figures!

HorseyGirl sorry for your losses, wishing you lots of good luck with ttc.

greenlizard Sun 01-Sep-13 15:18:01

Hello everyone

It's been a while since I posted - trying to get my head straight after my MMC but I have been dipping in and out to check on how you have all been getting on. I struggled for a while but have dusted myself down.

jbrd I am so very sorry for your loss - I was totally gutted for you. How are you doing?

I have been so thrilled to read the fabulous news on the thread blossoming bumps - congratulations and you give us all hope smile. I await news of the arrival ofsparklyjunior with bated breath. Good luck!

Sorry to all those who have been having such a rough time. flowers

I have only just got my period back after my ERPC in June. I had a transvaginal scan in late July which showed that my body had tried to ovulate once from my left ovary but this failed and turned into a functional cyst and then I had tried from my right ovary and this failed and also turned into a functional cyst. Great. So I was all ready to ovulate but the LH surge just didn't happen for some reason. Finally, I ovulated on CD67 (temping really is the business for tracking ovulation) and my period came 12 days after that (and a very nasty one it was too sad. Anyway, i am glad that i finally ovulated and my period came - feels like i can now move on. The irony of the scan is that it clearly showed that my right ovary was more than active and I had been told that my right ovary was small and inactive!!

So back to previous plan that DP and I have decided to go for IVF given our ages and we have spoken to the clinic about next steps. They are happy for us to start next cycle which is quicker that I thought but there is no reason to wait. They didn't even seem that concerned about my rubbish AMH (1.3) given my previous regular ovulation, good FSH tests and ability to conceive naturally (and the fact that we are paying for it smile So I am ladies, once more, back in the fray...shock. Will be giving it our all this month as well just in case we manage to conceive just before starting treatment again!

Ps. Welcome to all those who have joined whilst i have been away.
I am 44 TTC #1 with DP for about 12 months. Conceived naturally in April13 MMC at 10 weeks.2 Dsc's. Starting IVF October 2013.

Morien Sun 01-Sep-13 17:16:48

Yay, greenlizard, so good to see you back! I've been thinking about you. Keeping everything crossed for you grin

hopefulgum Sun 01-Sep-13 23:46:48

Hi Greenlizard, It is so nice to hear from you. It is fabulous news that you will be starting IVF in October. That must make you feel you have something positive happening towards having a baby. I hope you won't need it and have a BFP this time, but at least you know that option is there.

Ogden, as far as I know with charting, spotting is never considered the start of AF. It is when there is a "flow",light,medium or heavy that it is considered AF. I am not really sure if your heavy spotting would be considered "light flow" or just spotting?

If you have an LP of 10 days, have you considered having your day 21 progesterone level checked? It is an easy blood test, which should be done 7 days post ovulation (rather than day 21, which is based on every doctor believing every woman ovulates on day 14). It will tell you if your progesterone is low (which will cause spotting and short luteal phase). I don't think 10 days is too short, but from what I have heard and read over the years, it is better if it is 12 or more. Having said that, many women have gotten pregnant with short LP's. Also Vitamin B complex is supposed to help too.

Sorry that AF found you. I am pretty sure she'll be knocking on my door today or tomorrow. I have the heavy feeling and sore lower back. Bugger! I still hoped to be surprised by a late BFP. Blah!angry

Nice to hear from you Jass. Have you tested again? I know, juggling the kids on your own isn't easy. I feel the same way when my DH is away, but I think if there was a baby too, we'd probably function just fine grin even with all the sleep deprivation hmm

I have woken up feeling hot and puffy. My wedding ring which is usually very loose is tight and uncomfortable. I wonder if it is water retention because AF is coming? I don't usually notice this. But I also have a headache, so perhaps it is something else going on? Is this what perimenopause is like? angry

We had a lovely Father's day. The roast lamb at lunch was a big hit, PIL loved it. My FIL looks awful, with terrible puffy,red wounds from the operation on his face. He spent most of the afternoon sleeping. He starts radiation therapy in two weeks. Both he and MIL seem very pessimistic about the outlook, which I am struggling to understand because the cancer is not in anywhere else in his body, nor has the facial melanoma spread into the nerves or anything. I know they couldn't get all of it in the operation (hence the radiation therapy) but I am surprised at how negative they both are about his prognosis. Also, they are both very forgetful and muddled, so I am not sure they are getting everything straight that the doctor tells them.My DH has offered to go to the doctors with them, to take notes and remember everything for them, but they forget to tell DH about the appointments!confused

Fortunately the visit didn't leave my DH feeling depressed, he was still in a good mood after they left and we took a nice long walk on the beach with DS. Whilst there I remembered taking a long walk before we embarked on having DS - about 6 years ago, before my DH had his vasectomy reversal, and DH telling me he really didn't like the idea of another baby, but would do it for me. Seeing them together on the beach yesterday, playing and laughing made me so happy that we embarked on the journey despite his reservations. smile

Today DS and I are going swimming. DS just loves it, I can only get him out of the pool with chocolateshock Terrible parenting, I know, but it works!

How are you feeling Diege? Drop in and tell us all about your holiday.

Have a lovely Monday,everyone. And have one of these cake for me. It is fast day again.... hmm

sparklysapphire Sun 01-Sep-13 23:59:30

Hi greenlizard, how nice to hear from you, I have been thinking of you.
Looks like it'll be induction in the morning, so hoping it won't be too long and drawn out like last time. I'll update when I can, and thank you all for your support over the last few months, it's been invaluable.

JBrd Mon 02-Sep-13 12:26:46

sparkly Good luck for today, will be checking for news of arrival of sparkly baby!

green Hello! Glad to hear from you again, I've been wondering how you are. And it sounds as if you have a plan to go forward, that is so great. Fingers crossed and good luck for your journey to the IVF shores smile

Welcome horsey! Sorry to hear about your losses, what an ordeal you have been through. Fingers crossed it'll be smooth sailing this time.

First day back at work after 2 weeks off for me today - and I'm struggling more than expected. Feeling very emotional, not sure why - I was fine all weekend. We had a lovely day out at a maze and children's activity area yesterday, it was great fun (apart from DS being stung by a wasp). But today I'm tired and worn out. Wondering if there are still residual hormones hanging around in my body... Planning to test later this week. The EPU said to get in touch as soon as I get a BFN again, so that they can initiate the next steps for the tests.
My lovely childminder, who is also a good friend, wrote to me on Friday, saying that she's pregnant. From the sounds of it, we would have been due within weeks of each other. I found that a really hard blow, probably due to the timing. Of course, I wrote back all smiles and congratulations, but I was actually crying when I hit 'Send'. I really do want a break from everyone announcing being pg or havin babies around me, but that would mean to cut myself off from everything, so not really an option sad

Sorry for not name-checking more, will catch properly with everyone else later!

jass43 Mon 02-Sep-13 15:21:44

JBrd, sorry for the coincidence with the childminder's pregnancy. It an be really hard. And about hormones - mine are so totally messed up that I am now borderline anxiety syndrome, I think. Very nervous about trivial things and tears over everything. I think it must be hormones - I used to be quite calm. Hope yours will settle soon and you get some simple answer for your losses. Simple answers exist and hopefully your will get one of these. Unexplained is he worst place to be

diege Mon 02-Sep-13 19:21:07

Hello! Finally surfacing from holiday washing/back at work stuff and can post. Jbrd that does sound hard - I can't even start to understand how you must be feeling with all that has gone on/is going on. As jass says, I really hope that there's a relatively simple reason for your mcs and that you have some supportive medical people that can help x
Welcome to the newbies, and welcome back to some familiar names from the past - good to catch up and see how things are going - there's a lot going on here at the moment!
Gum phew sounds quite eventful with your sister and her family. How are they handling the gender thing with ds? I ask because I run some sessions with adults who have been through the same thing as teenagers and come and tell our (social work) students about their experiences. Seems that how the 'coming out' is received (long term) has big effects on subsequent adjustments etc. Hopefully everyone can work through it positively together. On the supplements front, I remember the green wee too grin I too was reassured that it meant they were 'doing something' though my gp spoilt it somewhat by saying wee colours like that when body doesn't always need the dosage hmm. Still, I took them until I became to poor to continue and did actually conceive 3 mths after starting them.
Sparkly I too am awaiting your birth announcement - I will sound a snug fanfare for you a la kate middleton when we get the news!
I know I have missed out loads blush but I am absolutely whacked and there seems to have been so many things going on. I am still getting over the 'holiday' tbh, which was fun but very full-on and rested is not something I'm feeling...Still, back at work this week so should at least get some sort of rest then. Schools back Wednesday, with ds1 (4) starting reception - bloody staggered starts/odd finish times a nightmare - ending up having to take a good chunk of annual leave just to get him sorted. Still, just 4 weeks until maternity leave kicks in (33 tomorrow).
Love to all xxx

hopefulgum Mon 02-Sep-13 23:34:26

Oh my goodness, Diege, you're 33 weeks? How on earth did that happen so fast??? I hope you do get a chance to rest soon. You really should get some rest before number 6 arrives. As for the staggered times etc for DS(1), I totally sympathise. It is so hard to juggle it all isn't it?
When my DS started Kindy this year (is "kindergarten (for 4 year olds) the same as reception in the UK? Or is reception the year they turn 5, which we call Pre-primary?) I had an awful time juggling his needs and my job. We got him onto the little local school bus very quickly, which means I can drop him with the bus driver at 8 am, and get myself to work on time. As it was, I wasn't supposed to leave him at Kindy til 8:45, and yet that's when my own classes started, 10 minutes away from his school. The stuff of nightmares!!

Jbrd, my heart goes out to you. Gosh, how bloody difficult to have your child-miner having a baby around when you would have. It really does hurt. I know exactly how you feel. After my second miscarriage I just wanted to stay away from everyone, I couldn't bear to hear about everyone else happy news, whether it was their second cousin twice removed or someone I knew personally, it just felt like everyone could have a baby, but not me. I know right now it is still very raw for you, but please be reassured that time will make a difference. I am amazed that I was able to sit at dinner with 39 weeks pregnant friend of a friend and not feel sad for myself or extremely jealous. I was happy for her, and hopeful for me.

As for the hormones, mine took a reasonable length of time to settle. After the second miscarriage (which was around 9 weeks) it took about 67 days before I ovulated again, and in the meantime my hormones where all over the place. Be gentle on yourself bear

Looking forward to Sparkly's news.

diege Tue 03-Sep-13 09:09:24

Hi Gum smile. Reception here is basically first year of full-time school so starts at age 4. They are also doing staggered 'finishes' at dd3's junior school hmm so her year are coming out earlier for a week. Great in principle but if you have a child at primary and junior (7-11 here) you can't make it in time, which sort of defeats the whole rationale behind making things easier for the teachers children. Have decided nothing quite beats the convenience of nursery hrs 8-6 grin Sounds like things are similar in Australia re: working parents too - agree, not great for stress levels!
Hope things are progressing/baby sparkly is here!
Off to do morning baths today to get them out of the way for the dcs - why did I leave all the homework/bag packing/lost PE kit stresses until today? On a gross note (and thankfully not typical) dd2 has opened her school bag and found some maggots in there shock. Just what I need to be greeted with!

CaliBee Tue 03-Sep-13 09:20:12

Hellloooooooo.....
Crikey its been busy on here...I have a lot of catching up to do.
First of all welcome to all the newbies.

Good luck to those awaiting their due dates.

Jbrd you have had such a tough year, do take care of yourself.
Gum I feel so much of what you write..you express that pull between your rational and hoping mind so very well.

I'm sorry for not namechecking everybody, I have a fair amount of catching up to do.

As for me...well I am now resident in NIreland, and very lovely it is too.
As far as ttc is concerned I had solid smiley on CB dual sticks 3 weeks ago(which I have to say I thought was odd as no other signs of ovulation. Anyway, 3 days later I tried another stick out of curiosity and still got a smiley (for those who dont know, once you get a solid smiley with these sticks it stays solid for 2 whole days so you cant keep testing). Anyway I was rewarded with high temps following this for about a week then back to pre ov temps. I have mildly tender breasts (which I only get before af is due) but its been nearly 3 weeks since I supposedly ovulated. Of course all BFN. Raaaa. I guess af will arrive in her own sweet time.
DH seems to be very nonchalant about the whole thing. He has gone from being very for intervention to "lets just have sex and if it happens it happens" attitude. Hmmmmmm. I suspect he wants to take the pressure off me, however I'm not quite sure he "gets" the time factor involved.
My consultants appointment back in England has been deferred from September to November. I have 2 cycles worth of clomid left...then I may be reduced to getting it online. It seems to be the only thing that makes me ovulate and in the absence of DH's support for intervention of any other kind (actually any kind which costs money!!)it may be my only chance.
I love where I have moved to...I have a beautiful beach minutes from my back door and beautiful scenery surrounding me. I do find living on camp however is very geared up to young families with children.
I hope to be able to drop in a little more often from now on so I must have a good read and catch up xx

Irishmammybread Tue 03-Sep-13 09:26:17

By now your little one should have arrived Sparkly! Hope everything went well,as gum says ,looking forward to hearing your news!

gum it sounds like you're having a tough time with so much going on with your family, I hope your DN gets through this difficult period of change and your sister finds some happiness too. Your DH must find it traumatic with his Dad being ill, at least they all have you supporting them!

Nice to see you back Green ,I've been wondering how you were. It is good having the ivf to aim for, hopefully though you'll find you don't need it.

Welcome back from your holiday Diege . It is hectic getting everyone back to school, especially when they start reception with a week of mornings/week of afternoon before they start properly! How does your DS feel about starting school?Are his big sisters at the same school?

Hope everything is progressing with the fostering application Willitbe!

Welcome to all the new people!(Sorry not to namecheck everyone).

How was your first day back at work JBrd ? It's such a difficult,emotional time. I'm glad you didn't need a hospital stay though and that you can soon have some investigations.I found the tiredness and emotional slumps came and went for quite a few weeks after each miscarriage, don't expect too much of yourself xx

I know how difficult it is hearing of other pregnancies too and I debated about whether I should start posting again so I really hope you don't think I'm being insensitive but I wanted to share with all of you that I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I know we were supposed to be giving up ttc, I've not been charting and have tried to switch off from it all and focus on all the positives in my life but we obviously were a bit lax with contraception! DH has been brilliant, he's very calm and says maybe this is our time to have a little miracle. I know my chances of miscarrying are very high. DH says if the worst happens, we've been through it before and will cope again,what will be will be, so we're trying not to think too far ahead and take it a day at a time(who am I kidding, I'm a nervous wreck, analysing every twinge !) I have a scan at the EPU next Monday when I should be just over 7 weeks so I'm just hoping and praying this little bean makes it.

Irishmammybread Tue 03-Sep-13 09:31:37

Hi CaliBee,crossed posts! Glad the move to NI went well and you're enjoying the time with DH.

alwaysontop Tue 03-Sep-13 10:03:18

Hello! I'm a newbie. Great to meet so many amazing over 40's. Good luck to you all - loads of it. Am 41 and ttc number 2. DS took more than a year. He is gorgeous and our lives have been soo changed. I'm 41 1/2 and hoping to get lucky again. Hoping not to get my knickers in such a twist as last time too!! Have not started charting again just using clearblue monitor and trying to dtd aplenty. Bye for now

diege Tue 03-Sep-13 10:29:49

Welcome always, you've come to the right place!
calibee NI and the beach at your doorstep sounds gorgeous. Are you actually in forces property? My sister was for years and found both pluses and minuses, though located in not half as nice a place as you. It must be good to be settled at last, and with dh 'at hand' so to speak. Hopefully your Nov appointment can shed more light on whether you need further intervention x
Irish wow I am so pleased for you grin. I know it is such a rocky road you're on, but this IS good news and it sounds like dh is also being very supportive. I really really hope your scan next week is good news and you can start to believe all will be well xx Re: ds and school, he does seem very young in my eyes to start - he can't even wipe his own bottom yet hmm and I just can't see how he will be able to get changed for PE/queue up for dinner etc etc. Dds are in other schools (they split primary here across 2 sites) but he has his best friend in the same class which will help a lot.
Need to 'label' school uniforms now. With dd1 it was preordered M&S embroidered sew on labels, with dd 2 iron on 'write your own name' ones, dd3 had laundry pen to write on back of clothes' label, and poor ds1 is awaiting the finding of a biro that works to scrawl initials on grin.

TigerseyeMum Tue 03-Sep-13 11:16:02

Sorry not to have been around for a while, I have been travelling a bit with little signal. Having a bad day today, very tearful. Due at work in half an hour but don't want to go.

Have my pre-op for my lap n dye in 2 days and I think that has triggered sadness etc. feel like I want to hibernate.

I started a thread, don't know what to tell my employer. Don't really want to ring my manager wailing, but don't know how to explain my odd behaviour either :-(

Haven't caught up yet, hope everyone is ok.

hopefulgum Tue 03-Sep-13 12:09:37

Irish, that is such good news! I am sending sticky, THB vibes your waygrinIt is not insensitive to tell us your good news, we all need to hear the good news, it is so important.

Calibee, it is great to hear you are settled in N.I. It sounds lovely. I am also sending preggy vibes to you. I'd love for you and your lovely DH to have a baby together. I think using the clomid is a good idea. Can you see a Doctor in NI to get a script?

Hello, alwaysontop, this is a wonderful group of supportive ladies to hang out with whilst waiting for a bfp and analysing the whole process! smile

Tigerseye, I am sorry things are tough for you right now. I think telling your manager that you need "compassionate leave" but don't want to discuss details should be enough.

Well, strange things happening here. I am 13 dpo and usually have AF by now, but sometimes I do have a 13 or rarely a 14 day LP. But weirdly, this morning I had spotting, but not the usual brown, it was proper red blood. I thought it must be the start of AF, but there was nothing, at all, for the rest of today, and still nothing. I also have had a funny taste in my mouth, but my breast tenderness is gone, and I am just having a a few funny twinges instead. My temperature has dropped a bit, but isn't below cover line. I didn't bother testing yesterday or today as I thought for sure it was all over.

I hate to say it, I feel a bit hopefulhmm. I guess if RTD (AF) isn't here in the morning, I will test again, but it does seem quite late to get a bfp, and I worry that would mean a late implanter and not a good chance of a THB. I guess I shouldn't get ahead of myself should I?

TigerseyeMum Tue 03-Sep-13 12:39:46

Thanks Hopeful, and fingers crossed for you!!! Never say never!!!

I have taken a half day off and made myself eggy bread in the hope that I can achieve the same fertility as my chickens!!!

JBrd Tue 03-Sep-13 13:39:06

Irish That is wonderful news! Sending lots of sticky vibes your way, fingers crossed for your scan! So so happy and please for you thanks Please don't think you're insensitive, on the contrary, happy news needs to be shared. And if not here, where then?!

tiger Could you email your manager? I did that when I had my recent mc, to let her know what was going on. I specifically stated that I needed to let her know by email because I would not be able to talk about it in person right now, and she was completely understanding and so helpful. I know that you're not obliged to tell work about your situation, but I found that it really helps if at least the manager knows.

cali Your new home location sounds idyllic! I'd love to have a beach close to my house...envy How are you settling in, will it be easy to meet people?
Your DH sounds a bit like mine, i.e. leaving all the ttc 'knowledge' to me and letting me 'steer'... I think that next time, I'll try and spread the responsibility a bit, I find it very lonely to be the one in charge.

I tested last night, and 11 days after my mc, I had a BFN. At least everthing appears to go back to normal fairly quickly! Now I need to call the EPU to get the ball rolling for all the tests and investigations. Fingers crossed that it won't take too long (but it's the NHS we're talking about, so I don't hold out much hope there...)

isadorable Tue 03-Sep-13 14:57:05

Irish - wow, I am so pleased for you. I will be sending lots of positive vibes your way. Waiting to see about my smear - doc running v late. I can't really reply in detail so hello to all those I know and welcome to those I don't.

TigerseyeMum Tue 03-Sep-13 15:10:07

JBrd that's what I did, I couldn't trust myself not to cry on the phone. I think it's pmt, coupled with stress plus hospital plus talking to a very pregnant friend. Just too much.

He politely replied back 'ok thanks'. Man of few words!

I'm seeing patients this evening and am feeling a bit better.

Hope your body is 'back to normal' now and you can find a way forward.

hopefulgum Wed 04-Sep-13 00:05:25

Good morning ladies.
No good news here I am afraid - no AF, but another BFN. I console myself that it can take 3-4 days post implantation to get a bfp, so maybe that's what's going on. I still have funny tingles and aches in my boobs(but not the usual tenderness).And my temperature, though not below cover-line, isn't very high.

My realistic self says that AF is just around the corner, be patient and stop being hopeful.

And my pessimistic self says - that spot of blood was your AF (gasp shock), you are old and menopausal and you should just pack it all in.sad

So, yeah, I am taking the relaxed approach to ttc hmm

Is there such a thing? Maybe if you are comatose....

hopefulgum Wed 04-Sep-13 00:06:34

P.S. FOR GOD"S SAKE UNIVERSE, just give me my long awaited for bfp and THB!!!

angry...argh!...angry

diege Wed 04-Sep-13 08:15:57

Arghh Gum I feel your frustration! Putting my sensible head on the spot of blood is NOT your af and yes, a bfp wuld take at least 24-36 hrs to appear after implantation spotting. It may well be a wtf cycle, but I appreciate the 'not knowing' is awful sad.
I must rush as first day back at school and don't want ds to be late on his first day!

hopefulgum Wed 04-Sep-13 09:21:45

Well, the universe just gave me a big fat raspberry, and AF has shown up this afternoon. So it was just a 13 day lp. Not really a big difference to normal. However I was very silly to get my hopes up. So, yes Diege, a WTF cycle. Bugger!sad

Today has been a full-on busy day and I am tired and cranky. Unfortunately it meant that I was a little curt with a colleague who has been extremely annoying for some time now, and it was the final straw today. I have a feeling she will stay out of my way from now on. I know I will certainly avoid her! blush

I just barely had a moment to breathe today. Now I have to take DD back into town (another 40 mins in the car) for netball training. I usually swim, but tonight I am dropping her and coming home (DH will pick up), I am shattered and I am going to listen to my body and rest.

I feel a bit sad, but I know that it will lift in a day or two. I will try again this month. My DH is scheduled to be away again during my fertile time (FFSangry!) so I am going to suggest that DS and I tag along for fun and that we stay in a nice hotel. He'll be worried about the dollars, but I feel we could use a weekend away and I really don't want to miss another chance.

So sorry for the self-indulgent post. It's that awful time of my cycle where I feel exhausted and not exactly enthused about trying again.

Love to all. I hope Sparklybaby is doing well. grin

sparklysapphire Wed 04-Sep-13 11:52:09

Hi all, DD2 arrived somewhat more speedily than expected after induction whem nothing happened for hours, then 2.5 hour labour, early hours of Tuesday morning.Shes feeding & sleeping well, DD1 has really taken 2 her little sis, Im ok, & DH seems to be accepting her. I'll update when I can, thsnks for all your good wishes.

isadorable Wed 04-Sep-13 12:52:06

Welcome to the world, beautiful tiny sapphire! Your mummy really is a wonderful, determined lady! Big congratulations to you all, sparkly. Delighted DD is enjoying being a big sister. My very best wishes that everything now falls into place for you and your family. xx

JBrd Wed 04-Sep-13 12:55:39

Welcome, baby sapphire! And well done, sparkly, hope you're recovering well and getting plenty of rest! All the best xxx

diege Wed 04-Sep-13 13:41:54

Many congratulations sparkly, I'm delighted for you smile Can't wait for full update and a picky if possible!
Sorry about af gum sad. Bad enough when it happens without the 'teasing' you got this time... On the plus side, you have very good LPs - don't think mine has been more than 10/11 days (with agnus castus help) for years!
Off to have a filling at the dentists now <scared> Will also have ds1 with me so will have to (wo)man up and try and keep cool...

Irishmammybread Wed 04-Sep-13 22:47:21

Congratulations sparklysapphire and a big welcome to the world to your precious little jewel ! xxx

Thank you everyone for your good wishes for me, your support means a lot!

gum what a frustrating cycle, I've had several too over the last year with a day of spotting,a gap and then AF starts. When you're working so hard and then being "Mum's taxi" too it's no wonder you feel frazzled. A few nights away in a good hotel sounds ideal,hope you can manage to sort that out!

Diege hope the dental appointment wasn't too terrible!

notsoold Wed 04-Sep-13 22:51:12

Congrats baby sapphire!!!! You are here with us!!!

Sorry about af gum!!! Life is a b***h sometimes!!!

Congratulations Irish.... Please do tell us when news are as good as yours!!!

Cali I m very happy for you settling in NI.

Jbrd thinking of you!!!!

Diege I am right behind you smile

Dh and ds back to school. I was very annoyed that a PE shirt and a PE top cost £39!!!! Incredible really sad

To everyone else I didn't mention by name I send a big hug!!!!

hopefulgum Thu 05-Sep-13 00:23:19

thanksWelcome to the world little Sapphirethanks I have a little lump in my throat as I type this. I am so happy for you smile

Thanks to everyone for the commiserations. Sorry to be a whiney Wendy. This journey has been long and arduous and it feels like I will never reach the place I wanted to go to. I might end up at a different destination and I find that very frustrating.

Actually, Diege, I wonder too, if the longer LP and also a heavier AF is a good thing. I hope it means that my uterus etc is in good shape and that may mean that I have a better chance at a baby.

I honestly believe there was damage done with the second ERPC. I didn't have proper periods for ages, then when they came back they were shorter than ever, and very light. These days the flow is a lot better. Perhaps it has taken a long time to heal? I will probably never know. With the last BFP, that ended very early (6 weeks), I had an ultrasound but nothing was mentioned about damage, but who knows if they can see that sort of thing, and it was in a Dr's office, so not the best high resolution machine.

I have been up with DS from 5:30 and working my butt off before I even start my usual routine. I have parents night at work tonight (as a teacher, not a parent), so I have to be back at work from 5-7pm. So I have been busy cooking the DC's dinner and prepping for mine and DH's dinner (we are fasting today and can't eat the kid's super cheesey pasta bake (yum)). I am also going away for the weekend straight after work (my knitting club weekend awaygrin) so need to organise stuff for that.

I will need a rest this weekend!

diege Thu 05-Sep-13 19:20:07

Gum it sounds manic at the moment for you! Thought the knitters' weekend sound blissful envy. What sort of things will you be doing? (not much knitting I presume? grin))
A close friend has just had a 9 week scan where baby is measuring 6 weeks, no heartbeat yet, and she has also started spotting. That's not good is it? (she's sure of her dates). She's having to wait a week before going back as they won't 'do' anything just yet. Brings back memories of my mcs, really feel for her, and makes me appreciate what I have far more!
Hope everyone is ok - early night for me as woke at 2.30am last night and was still awake until 6ish...combination of ds2, dh's snoring angry and generally insomnia!

jass43 Thu 05-Sep-13 20:25:33

Sparkly, huge congratulations!

Gum, sorry the af got you.
Mine is getting ready to leave and I am trying to find my motivation to do OV tests soon. Cd 5 here, so still room to get more enthusiastic about it ....sigh.

mozzarellamummy Thu 05-Sep-13 21:43:01

Lots of hugs to sparkly baby!
already had some meetings at school, but actually starting to teach on monday .. I am just a little bit worried..Please wish me good luck (taking good luck for TTC as already included in the wish!)

hopefulgum Thu 05-Sep-13 23:38:07

Yes, Diege, a bit manic. Fortunately for me I have such a lot of support from my older children. They are such lovely,lovely kids (people). My DS (who lasted only a week in the city at Uni,and returned home because he missed the country and home so much) is living with us and part of the deal is that he tidies up everyday, takes care of the breakfast dishes, cooks twice a week and has to put laundry on twice a week. It really helps. He's also available for a fair amount of babysitting. He has a motorbike license, but not a car license (we're hoping he will get it on Tuesday), so I am looking forward to when he can also run the other kids around. My daughters are such capable girls, always willing to help with DS(5).

So, although I do have a lot of juggling (who doesn't?) I have help too.

Parent's night went well. But it is time consuming and meant that my brain didn't wind down til about midnight. Then I had a horrible night's sleep - cramps and backache (AF? I don't usually have it). So I got up at 5 am after being awake for ages, a hot water bottle, heat patch and ibuprofen seem to have banished the cramps and backache. The bummer is I will be quite tired for my first night away and will probably have to go to bed early!

We do actually knit on our weekend away, but there's also loads of chatting, laughing,eating,drinking and even a bit of shopping. The destination is only about 30 minutes drive from town, so not too far. It is a lovely seaside village, so we may do some walking too. It will be nice to just get away from all the rushing and demands of family life.

It looks like I might only have DH away for one night (during fertile time), as there's been a couple of invitations that weekend. He said he may even change his appointment in the big city, which means I won't have to tag along and we should get plenty of SWI,hopefully. I have armed myself with some opks.

I recently read a book called The impatient women's guide to getting pregnant. I bought it after someone on here linked an article the author wrote. The book didn't tell me anything new, and wasn't particular positive about women over 41, but she did say a lot about how important timing is, and that the percentage of women getting pregnant when using opks and/or a fertility monitor is much higher than the estimates we hear in the media, particularly for the 35-39 age group. She explains how many of the stats are just not relevant.

Anyway, it has helped me realise just how important timing is and that's why I am back to using opk's (you may recall I sold all that sort of stuff on Ebay in the hope that I'd be more relaxed about ttc, and might even give up the idea. Alas, that tactic certainly didn't work.) Now I wish I had a fertility monitor again, but I just can't buy a fourth one, that would be silly, wouldn't it???hmmblush

Right, I'd best go and get packed up. Have a lovely Friday everyone and a good weekend. I may check in on my phone while I am away wink

mazzie40 Fri 06-Sep-13 19:38:36

Hi ladies. Do you mind if I join you?. I have been reading all the comments on here, & see your all lovely ladies. Me n hubby have been ttc for around 3 years. I have had 4 rounds of Clomid, but I've stopped it & this cycle haven't took it. It''s quite a relief in a way & I'm that way now where I'm thinking if I get my bfp then that would be amazing, but I'm feeling more relaxed about it. Even tho I still feel so down for a couple of days when af gets me. Sending lots of baby dust smile. X

Morien Sat 07-Sep-13 09:08:13

irish congratulations - wonderful news!

Hope you're doing ok, jbrd?

calibee, you settling in to your new life? Hope you'll be very happy in NI with your lovely DH.

gum hope you enjoy your knitting weekend, sounds great.

And to spread a bit of hope before I go - there's a lady on the pregnancy boards who's just pg (they weren't even ttc, I don't think) at almost 49 smile

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Morien Sat 07-Sep-13 09:09:25

Welcome mazzie - this is a nice, supportive place to be, hope you feel at home here.

diege Sat 07-Sep-13 14:50:32

Hi morien and hi and welcome to mazzie smile
Gum I have to say your musing about fertility monitors and whether to buy another one made me smile. I am the same with breast pumps grin. I think using opks is a sensible compromise as even though you are relaxed, there's no harm whatsoever in giving yourself the best chances. I do realise there is a fine line there though between 'best chance' and all out fertility maximisation wink....
I am fine but really suffering with piles blush. I have also decided that today is the day that ds2 finally gets to move in to ds1's bedroom. I can't believe we've left it so long tbh (ds 2 is 22 mths) but we now need to put up another cot for dc6....I know it will be hell, but if we leave it any longer I'll be back from the hospital with the new baby and poor ds2 turfed out of our room!
Love to all - rain and more rain here!

hopefulgum Sun 08-Sep-13 09:09:29

Hi girls. Back from my knitting weekend, which was fab, but even after relaxing all weekend I feel tired. Different bed, didn't sleep all that well.But it was nice to have hours sitting by the fire, knitting with lovely friends while it rained outside. Also loads of yummy food and good conversation.

Af was a bit of a fizzer: not much blood (sorry if TMI). It worries me, menopause must be around the corner, but I'll still keep trying. I am hoping the Zita West sups might help.

Diege, sorry about the piles. That must be awful. I hope DS2 is settling into DS1's room. I can understand the desire to get that sorted before the baby arrives.

Well, feeling pretty knackered, so I think I might go and vege in front of the telly for a little while.

I'll be back in the morning with a lot more energy!

Irishmammybread Mon 09-Sep-13 13:42:53

Welcome Mazzie !

Glad you had a good weekend gum ,it's great to have such a supportive family to keep things going at home so you can have a bit of time to yourself and relax! Your kids sound wonderful. Does your DS feel confident about his driving test tomorrow? Good luck to him!

Diege, poor you, piles must be so uncomfortable, you must be counting the weeks down. How did the room move go for DS2?

Thanks for the good wishes Morien and notsoold !

I've been to the EPU for my scan today and saw a little heartbeat, baby measuring 7 weeks and everything looks normal. It's a big relief but I know it's still early days, I've had a similar with MC3,a good scan at 7 weeks, growth and strong heart beat on a later scan and it died at about 9 weeks. I'm being rescanned in 2 weeks . We're trying to be realistic, and are also waiting as long as possible to tell most people, but I can't help hoping and praying this little one will make it!

TigerseyeMum Mon 09-Sep-13 16:35:25

Congratulations on your little one, Sparkly!

AF caught up with me too, so this is my last one before my lap n dye in 3 weeks time. Feel stupidly sad that a miracle didn't happen and I fell pregnant thus not needing the op!

My endo is really playing up and the surgeon is going to laser it as well as do the lap so hopefully periods will be less painful in future.

I'm glad it's not the first day of school for anyone this week, all those facebook pix last week nearly sent me over the edge!!!

mozzarellamummy Mon 09-Sep-13 20:37:14

irish this is good news! I keep everything crossed for you little bean..
mazzie welcome!
gum I had my first day at school and am quite knackered, I had three classes one of which was a nightmare..7-8 naughty students didn't stop to speak, laugh and make noise.. I'm quite glad I didn't lose my temper, but I still have to find a way to deal with them ...sad..SUGGESTIONS?
so if I ever got pregnant, there would be an added value of a maternity leave..smile!
tiger af are obviously coming as we didn't DTd on the right days, but I was still hopeful in a super-everlasting swimmer..so I get what you felt with your af coming..wishing you a successful op!
diege I read on the chat about your colleague pg with triplets at 48 ..wow! I hope everything is going fine..it must be a little scary..

hopefulgum Mon 09-Sep-13 23:14:48

Mozza, I am not surprised that you feel knackered after a first day teaching. It is a job that requires a great deal of mental and emotional energy.

As for those naughty kids - ask them to stop (obvious, I know) or you will move them away from their friends. Then give them other consequences for their behaviour. Here's a list of what I do: Give them a "bump" (tell them they are behaving badly and the next step will be to move), move them away from friends, giving detention during break or lunch time or after school,phoning their parents, sending them to another class to work (we have a roster so lower school students go to upper school classes and vice versa). I also reward the kids who do the right thing: praise, sitting next to their friends,"goldie" letters home. The important thing is to break up any groups of students who are making the most trouble. That can be hard with 7-8 naughty kids, but try and separate them, and move the worst ones out if you can. I hope that helps. Unfortunately, I have found, teaching is about 7 parts behaviour management and 3 parts teaching and learning.

Irish, I am so, so pleased for you (and also envy, in the nicest possible way smile ). Just remember the snug mantra, "for today I am pregnant".

Tigerseye, I have heard that a lap and dye can be the little miracle boost for getting pregnant, I hope it helps you, and I am sure having less pain with your AF will be good.

I have to go and have a look in chat about the lady pregnant with triplets at 48. Wow shock. Are they ivf babies? I will go and look...

TigerseyeMum Tue 10-Sep-13 00:25:00

Triplets at 48???? I'm not sure I'd have the energy!!!

JBrd Tue 10-Sep-13 09:44:33

Lovely news, Irish keeping everything crossed for you!

Irishmammybread Tue 10-Sep-13 13:47:25

Thanks for the good wishes and support mozza, gum and JBrd ,it means a lot, especially when hardly anyone knows in real life. I've told my mum and boss but that's about everyone, apart from staff at the EPU. The lovely midwife who dealt with me a lot last year was the one who answered the phone when I rang up,I didn't even give my name,just said I was phoning to see if I could book an early scan and she immediately said "Is that you Irish ?" .It makes you feel they really care about their patients if they remember them(though I suppose I have been there a lot!).
I haven't even been to the GP yet but have now booked an appointment for later this week.I found it distressing last times getting routine appointments through the post for midwife appointments etc after miscarrying so thought I'd wait till at least after the scan but I'd better not leave it too long either.
Mozza that sounds like a tough first day,how old are your pupils? I'm not a teacher but gum's advice sounds good. I know my DD2(14) found the girls she sat with in one class last year were disruptive and stopping her from working but she couldn't ask to move herself because she'd lose face and look like a swot! She was being labelled as part of that group by the teacher. She would have been happy if the teacher moved them so it wasn't down to her IYSWIM. Maybe the group will be less naughty split up,some of them might actually want to work?
Sorry about AF Tiger but the lap and dye procedure may help,I have heard too that it enhances the chance of conception directly after one.

diege Tue 10-Sep-13 15:32:43

Hello! Really lovely news Irish I am so pleased for you. I know you are still worried, but everything is looking as it should at this stage, couldn't look any better. Is your next scan in a few weeks?
Gum that's brilliant advice re: pupils' behaviour. I have had to deal with the same myself in the past, but the students I deal with these days are usually 'mature' and while they natter a bit are easier to deal with! Good luck mozz - everyone in teaching has 'been there'.
Oh and the colleague at work, yes...she has 6 grown up children so this was a massive shock. Natural conception too, and by all accounts literally a one hit wonder...her husband is not taking it well at all hmm Everything looks good so far pregnancy-wise so it's just a case of mentally adjusting I suppose!
34 weeks today - back at work but only 2 weeks after this then on leave..Have placenta scan on Thursday so will see if it has 'moved up' and what that means (or not) for delivery plans. Bit nervous!
Hope all are well - think notsoold is about the same weeks-wise as me?

notsoold Tue 10-Sep-13 16:36:42

Irish....such good news and I am particularly pleased about the good treatment at the EPU.

Diege... Same weeks as you!!!
I am still here smile

Ds has been poorly with his beginnings of year cold ( every first week he get a bad cold with fever etc)
Our dog seems to have turned a corner and is better again. As DH does not deals with the dogbeing poorly it was mainly me take her to the vet!!! Ohhh stress
Hello jbrd and gum hope you are well...xxx

CaliBee Wed 11-Sep-13 08:14:16

Good morning all.
Such lovely news irish...it must be an anxious time for you however. So lovely that the epu nurse remembered you.
I'm back to using my phone....the internet here is dreadful (i still have overhead wires supplying my house). It took four attempts for BT to deliver my hub!!! They sent two to an address I lived in nearly 2 years ago....I so hate incompetence especially from big companies who make huge profits.
I'm still awaiting af after having to end anovulatory cycle with provera. Its strange that with the synthetic progesterone in my body that i have sore boobies (something I always used to get pre miscarriage but not since). I had my first appointmwnt with my new Dr on Monday who wants to redo all the initial bloodtests before referring me to fertility services NIreland but has advised keeping my November appointment back in England. I admit to losing belief that this much wanted baby is ever going to happen for us sad. I really should see if the English clinic will send my/our results to me.
My lovely dd2 is coming to visit me next week...i cannot wait. Missing my dc's soooo very much. I also have a job interview next week....in a prison eeek. Initially i was excited however on reflection its a band lower than my previous job which would, in time , mean losing accreditations in two of my extra qualifications through non practice. That aside its also an hours journey away on pretty poor roads. The last thing I want is to end up in the nightmare of stress and anxiety I have just left behind in my previous job. I almost fancy a complete change of direction and have taken the plunge and ordered myself a course in nail enhancements. I just feel ready to make complete changes in my life. I figured that I may have business on camp (army) and could pick and choose when Iwant to work.
Feel free to tell me I'm bonkers ladies. smile
So the nights are drawing in, its getting colder and xfactor is back on tv (I confess to only watching to giggle at the awful ones)....it all seems to be happening on a revolving repetitve roundabout. Cant help but feel time is running out for me and ttc. I'm 43...I wonder how long I can really let this be such a big factor in my life?

mumalah Wed 11-Sep-13 10:04:07

Hi Everyone, Congratulations Sparkly and thats good news to hear irish.
Not posted for a while, you may remember I was bleeding for what seemed to be forever. Blood tests came back normal. I am now on cd60 and waiting for af to come back. One minute I was wishing it would stop, the next I'm wishing it will come back. Any advice, anyone?
Calibee I have just enrolled on a Business Administration Course, something I have no idea about. I think your nail enhancements sound great. I have just turned 43 too and feeling like you.
We are off to Ireland for a weeks break, sounds great but we are taking my parents so things could get quite strained. Altogether there will be 9 of us to occupy, entertain and please!
Sorry I havent name checked everyone, I'm still lurking! xx

CaliBee Wed 11-Sep-13 16:07:22

mumalah hello...yes I do remember you. Have you seen gp re bleeding.?
I seemed to spend a couple of years where I bled at the drop of a hat but now like you wishing it would all start so that I can take my clomid.
I was give oral progesterone (Provera) to kick start af on anovulatory cycles...maybe you could ask your GP about it smile
Where abouts in Ireland are you off to??

hopefulgum Wed 11-Sep-13 23:32:40

Hello Calibee and Mumalah. It is good to hear from you. I still think 43 is young, but that's because I am so much older. I do understand how you feel - wondering if it will happen, where to go from here. Cali, I think keeping your November appointment in England is a good idea, who knows how long you will have to wait for an appointment in NI? What kind of treatment do you want to do with the clinic? Have you and DH talked about how much you are willing to do? IVF? I know you'd just love to fall pregnant naturally and not have to bother with all of that, I just wondered what's the next step.

Mumalah, sorry I can't recall if you have taken clomid? It sounds like you might need a kick start to ovulate? Are you open to fertility treatment? I think if you were to take a course of provera to start AF, then the clomid, and have ultrasound to track ovulation, you could then time sex for when the egg is about to arrive.

Of course I say all this not really knowing what you want to do. I can't do any of it, mainly because my DH isn't on board at all for anything but an "opps! Looks like we are fertile after all" type of pregnancy. I still hold out hope that I will be one of the lucky ladies who get pregnant when they are on the wrong side of 45. I keep hearing good news stories, but I also know it can't happen for everyone over 45. I have a friend with a proven fertility record - 6 children. Her last at 42. Since then she has been open to another (but I honestly don't know if she bothers with anything like opks, temping etc, I don't think she does), and she is now 50, but hasn't had another baby. She has had three miscarriages in the last 6 years though. So although I have a great fertility record, had my last at 41, and I am timing SWI etc,etc, it doesn't mean I will get my THB. I just have to keep at it in case I really do have one more golden egg. And who knows, maybe I have two or three? Triplets at 48 shock GASP! I don't know how happy I'd be? I think I would really struggle.

Cali, I think your idea of changing career is a good one. Why not? And nail enhancements would be a great little earner when you have a baby too (positive thinking here, when, not if).

We have had a change of government in Australia, and the cutbacks to education are staggering and frightening, so now would be a great time for me to have a baby and go on leave. The only decent thing the government want to do is give women 6 months paid maternity leave (it is much, much less at the moment). So perhaps the universe has been kind enough to hold off on my pregnancy and THB so that I could have the paid leave?

The cut backs are really going to affect our conditions at work and I often think about changing jobs, but I have no idea what else I'd do, and I actually really do enjoy my job. But I think teachers will be under more pressure with the cutbacks and I won't enjoy it as much. I am already considering private school for my DS as I worry about how good government schools will be with less money going into them compared to the private schools.

Anyway, if I could just have one last baby, I could take my paid leave and think about changing career and maybe even retrain (though I had thought I might do that with the last baby and found I had no time or energy for re-training or study).

Ok, better get organised for work. I have a Health Ed lesson first up and no lesson plan, best get organised!hmm

mumalah Thu 12-Sep-13 08:28:30

Hello! Yes I did see Gp re bleeding but she just told me to have blood test which was supposed to be day 3 on day 23! Says results would be the same to check fsh levels(I'm not convinced) Results were given as normal, no further action needed (that doesn't tell me what the levels are).
I Had 6 rounds of clomid, I started ovulating on the 3rd cycle, and have been charting ever since which each month until now a clear temperature shift suggesting ovulation. I have read that Vitex can help with hormone imbalances, does anyone have experience of this? I have been discharged from the hospital for fertility treatment due to a blood test i had that suggested my fsh levels were high (i have since researched that Clomid can cause higher fsh results) I did have something to bring on af on round 2 of clomid, it was called Northisterone, perhaps I should ask for that.
Calibee I'm off to Courtown near County Wexford, going by boat so its going to be a long journey. I used to holiday there as a child, as I have relatives dotted all over Ireland. I've been told its a lot more expensive over there, have you found this ?
Well today I am packing, well supposed to be! Typical I've left it all to the last minute, with tons of washing to do, and its pouring of rain.
Hopeful Do you think that acupuncture would be of any benefit to me?

hopefulgum Thu 12-Sep-13 10:16:12

mumalah, yes, I think acupuncture could be of benefit. If nothing else it will balance your body and is great for relaxation. I think that since having acupuncture regularly I get sick less often than I used to. Also, I am 46 and still regularly ovulating and having AF. I don't know if acupuncture makes any difference, but I think it may help. It is certainly worth a few months trial.

Diege is a bit of a vitex expert, hopefully she'll come and tell you all about it. I have used it here and there, but I don't think I really need it.

I have just come in after a big swim (60 laps). I don't know that it was a good idea as it's a fast day and I haven't eaten much today and felt a bit wobbly afterwards. Might swim fewer laps on fast days confused I had to go to the bottle shop (that's where we buy alcohol in Australia, it isn't sold in supermarkets) and pick up a carton of beer for DH's work department, and I was a bit vague and left my wallet in the trolley whilst wandering around the cool room searching for the type of beer he wanted. I was very lucky it wasn't stolen. What a silly billy blush As soon as I got in I had to eat a small tin of salmon as I thought I might pass out. Feel a bit better now, but can't wait for dinner.

I think I may have some good-ish news, though not for everyone - my sister's lover of 4 years has finally told his wife that he's leaving. For her it means she may have the new start she's wanted for years, but I am not so sure, at this stage he hasn't actually left, and I don't know if he can be trusted. My sister is happy, but I feel very sad for her ex-husband (who wanted to reconcile) and the lover's wife who had no idea about the affair and will be reeling from this news. I hope, eventually, they will all find happiness.

DS wants me to cuddle up while he watches Bananas in Pyjamas, so I'll do some knitting.

Happy days grin

diege Thu 12-Sep-13 10:32:34

Hello! Wow gum how you manages to swim that far with 500 calories (is that right?) I don't know! Tin of salmon wouldn't have touched the sides here! Hope all sorts itself out soon for your sister...sounds pretty traumatic. Oh I also meant to mention about your new PM..hmmm, what to say...are you all mad? wink grin I have a feeling you wouldn't have been one of his voters though Gum grin
On the vitex-front, it did work wonders for me - increased my luteal phase from 9 days to 11/12 and no side effects whatsoever. I'm sure it helped when I was ttc-ing, and also helped with regulating my cycles (so I didn't bleed every 3 weeks) when not.
So scan day today to se if the placenta has 'moved' up or not...my hunch is not but then again I am such a pessimist with scans (not generally one!) On the plus side I have had no spotting whatsoever which you can see if placenta is still low, so we'll see. My palms are sweating just writing this!
Calibee I think the nail tech idea is ace - you have such a captive market there where you live and as Gum says it will work well with a baby smile
Love to all - sorry not to do more personals - must pay ds2 some attention!

sparklysapphire Thu 12-Sep-13 11:17:08

Irish, I'm so pleased for you that you are pregnant again & that the scan shows all is well at the moment. I understand your anxiety, and have everything crossed that this one stays put.

Calibee, your nail tech plan sounds a good one. It sounds like you are settling in in NI, despite your dodgy internet. And hopefully your new GP is sympathetic. Wishing you a sticky bfp soon.

Mozza, how are you getting on in your new job?

Gum, 60 laps in the pool on so few calories?? No wonder you felt wobbly. If I haven't eaten much at work, I sometimes need chocolate just so I can make it home (2.5 mile total walking). I'm definitely not missing work at the moment though.

Diege, I hope your placenta has moved up. I can't believe you're 34 weeks (and notsoold too). I found the last few weeks went quite fast, but I really enjoyed being home with DD1 over the summer hols.

Thank you all for your good wishes. We are doing ok. I'm trying to type one handed while DD2 feeds. She's sleeping and feeding well, though we are struggling with the latch a bit. DD1 is thrilled with her baby sister, and wants to hold her/make a fuss of her all the time, which is great, but we are having to rein her in a bit & keep reminding her about LOs neck. DH is making sure I'm fed, but I'm not getting much affection from him, which is hard. I feel like I've lost him at the moment & I just want him to come back to me. He is interacting with his new DD though, but hasn't changed her nappy yet. Having MIL to stay was better than I anticipated, she was a star at keeping us fed, but drove DH especially up the wall. On a pleasing note, when I went for midwife check up last week, they queried why I was induced at 40 weeks, and they were very surprised when I told them my age smile. The induction was much better than last time, I was in labour for less than 3 hours, and then DD2 came very quickly - the midwife & DH managed to catch her.

I do know how truly fortunate I am to have a (hopefully) healthy baby at my age, and I wish everyone on this thread a sticky BFP very soon. I shall keep reading and popping in when I get chance if that's ok.

diege Thu 12-Sep-13 12:10:20

Lovely to hear from you sparkly - it sounds like you are doing impressively well, especially with an under-performing dh hmm...It's lovely too that dd1 is so happy with her little sister smile How do you feel in yourself?

hopefulgum Thu 12-Sep-13 23:04:30

It is so nice to hear from you Sparkly. It sounds like DD2 is doing well. Have you put a picture on your profile? I would love to see her. Sorry your DH isn't stepping up. That must be very hard for you, feeling you have lost him. It is an intense time when you have a newborn. Perhaps when everything has settled down he'll be better, or at least you might get a chance to talk to him about his behaviour? Is he having any counseling? It sounds like he may still need it.

Diege, I hope the scan went well, come and tell us as soon as you can.

As for our new PM, it was a bloody landslide victory, which has me baffled because I cannot understand why the majority of Australians would want a right wing government, nor why they'd want him. He's already made so many sexist faux pas when he was in opposition. Not to mention the shocking and horrible ideas they have to send assylum seekers back to war torn countries and the abolishment of the carbon tax, so big business, mining etc can go ahead and put as many emissions as they like into the environment with no financial comeback. It's really baffling. However, I think many traditional Labour voters didn't vote labour simply because of all the in-fighting in that party over the last 2 years. Rather than looking at policies, many people tend to look at the person (the leader) and the personalities within their party.It is worrying, but we shall have to wait and see what happens.

Well not much news here. I am CD9 today, so soon will crack open the opks. I am pleased to report that DH isn't going away this weekend as we have too much on socially grin It may not have made much difference, as he would have only been away for CD 10,11,12, but who knows, I may ovulate early - I have ovulated on day 11 or 12 before.Now he's going to go away in 2 weeks time, so that will be fine.

So we are out tonight at a restaurant with his work department (those boys love to drink!). I will eat at the Indian restaurant but won't be going with him to the party afterwards where they all watch the football and drink whiskey (ewww!). I am so pleased DS2 now has his driver's license, so he can pick up DH in the early hours. Then tomorrow night we have a friend's birthday.

No rest for the wicked, as they saygrin

diege Fri 13-Sep-13 09:54:35

Hello! Hey glad I didn't offend you Gum with my negative comments about your PM grin It is indeed very odd that he won so convincingly - his sexism/racism/homophobia is what I'd associate with a maverick also-ran, but obviously a lot of people either don't see it like that or were attracted by other things...You are living in 'interesting' times to be sure!
Talking of interesting, I am a bit shock after yesterday's scan. Placenta is still low, though not covering cervix (to the side of it) and I'm being rescanned in 2 weeks to see if it's moved (still a chance but I'm not convinced). The shock I had relates to fact that I may need a section anyway - baby is measuring 42 weeks shock, with head and legs at 41 weeks, abdomen off the scale (43-44wks). Consultant wasn't worried, saying it's just a big baby (est weight if born yesterday 7ib 8, and predicted over 11ibs at birth hmm. So we shall see! I do feel there's no room left, have never gone past 39 weeks before, and figure my body will probably go into labour in the next 2-3 weeks, if not before. Baby is doing well though (ironically head down, perfect position for birth etc) so they will just 'observe'....
Hope everyone else is ok xxx

hopefulgum Fri 13-Sep-13 11:23:30

hi deige. On my phone so no bold letters. Wow! Baby will be a whopper. As for going into labour in the next 2-3 weeks, are you feeling ready? I am very excited about your new bsby coming so soon.

Off to dinner now.will check in tomorrow morning.

JBrd Sat 14-Sep-13 08:32:44

Diege shockshockshock Wow, that's a whopper of a baby! How many weeks are you now? I'm sure it'll all be fine, esp as they are keeping a close eye on you.

Sapphire - sorry you DH isn't participating, that must be so frustrating. Fingers crossed he'll come round soon!

Cali - I can heartily recommend changing careers, if that's what will make you happy! It's exciting and challenging, and I for one have not regretted it. I also think that the beauty/wellness area is great to move into, there always seems to be a demand!

Not much new here. I finally feel I'm getting back to normal, finally caught up with work, started exercising again this week (the pain!) and will go back to WeightWatchers today, to try and loose the weight that has been creeping up again over the last few months.
And I'm currently being tested left right and centre for the recurring miscarriages - I thought it would take forever to kick off, but it all started happening really quickly. They took blood from DH and me, and today I'm having an ultrasound scan. All that's missing now is a blood sample from day2-5 in my next cycle. I already have been given an appointment with the consultant to discuss all the results in November! Really quite impressed with the speed. Although this could mean we'll be back to ttc really soon, scary thought wink

hopefulgum Sat 14-Sep-13 09:33:54

Hi girls. smile

I had a pleasant evening out last night. The food was lovely (Indian) and company good. I sat near a young couple who are expecting their second baby. Their first is 18 months old and she is 10 weeks pregnant. They announced their pregnancy weeks ago; I sat there feeling so envy that they could be so confident and tell the world all about it, when I know if I ever get pregnant again I won't be telling anyone (maybe not even DH) until I make it past 10 weeks. Of course I am happy for them, they were a lovely couple, just a little sad for myself. And because I have had five and everyone thinks I'm done ttc, some of the comments were a bit upsetting, about how I don't need to think about that sort of thing anymore etc,etc.sad

Jbrd, I am glad that the testing is happening already. How do you feel about it? I suppose it would be good to know if there is a cause,especially if it can be sorted out, but I suppose in some ways knowing it is simply an age thing has different feelings attached. I speak for myself - I had a lot of testing done after my second miscarriage and although little things were found, they couldn't really pin it on anything. It did reveal that I have an underlying autoimmune disease (I don't know what at this stage) and it probably makes no difference to ttc. I was also a little low in Vit D, but ultimately, and after a long time, I have basically come to think it is down to being older and there's nothing to do but wait for a healthy egg.

Whatever is the case for you, I do hope they can help you and that you will have a THB soon.

I have to run now - another evening out. Both DH and I feel tired and in some ways would rather have an early night. It's an hour drive to our friend's farm and I know driving home will be hard. AI should stop complaining _ I will probably enjoy myself. The worst thing is finding something nice to wear when I just want to snuggle in tracky pants and ugg boots hmm

diege Sun 15-Sep-13 22:10:01

Evening! Just a quick hello en route to bed. Very stormy here - don't think that summer will return...
Sounds like you've got a busy few days going on there gum (not to mention the upcoming action wink) Hope you can find t relax properly too x
Hope everyone's ok smile

hopefulgum Sun 15-Sep-13 23:55:48

Morning Ladies. Actually Diege I think the weekend sounds worse than it was. I was pretty tired when we went out on Saturday night after a late night, early morning and then taking DS swimming and swimming my laps. I have to admit to doing a lot of yawning throughout dinner, and leaving at about 11. Which is reasonably late, but we'd only just finished dessert shock It was a pleasant evening.

I made up for the tiredness by having a pretty slack Sunday. A friend brought her kids over for a playdate, and they had a ball. Then we chilled out all afternoon, watching movies. Poor DH had to go and do some work for his dad on their farm, so he wasn't as rested as me.

His dad is starting his 5 weeks of radiation therapy tomorrow. We found out from DH's sister that the doctor said there was a real possibility that he may not have a year left but they would do the treatment to slow things down. It is sad and I know it will be a difficult time for my DH. He's never had a close and loving relationship with his father, so I worry about how this whole process will go, I think it will be harder because they aren't close. My DH is being very good to his parents, always there to help, sometimes at his expense and the expense of time to do things here (for example all the yard work he did for his father yesterday, really needs to be done here).

I wonder whether having anew baby would be a blessing or a problem with DH's parents ailing. I can see how it would put DH under pressure, though I am the hands on one with the kids. I just know,more and more he'll have to help his parents out (and of the four children, he's the only one living close by). But, I do think that having a new life (a baby) around would really help with the sadness of losing his parents IYKWIM?

Anyway, its all just academic isn't it, as I am not even pregnant, and the chances are getting slimmer as they years march on.

Despite my poor chances, I am day 12, no positive opk yet, but plenty of SWI, so that's a step in the right direction. This cycle I'd really like to try and have SWI on the day of ovulation, because all the pregnancies I have had since charting have had SWI on O day. The problem is, I seem to feel too tired and "over it" by the time it is O day, and I convince myself that the shop is closed by then. However, all those pregnancy charts have various days before O (day 1,2 or 3,or a combination) and O day.It will be my mission this time grin

How is everyone else? It's a bit quiet in the Snug these days. I remember a time when we'd get to 1000 posts very quickly, I was surprised to see we only have 318 messages on the thread. I sometimes feel I am talking to myself, but that's ok, as it is good to have somewhere to rabbit on about all this, kind of like a personal journal.

Drop in and say hello if you are lurking...and have one of these brew

mozzarellamummy Mon 16-Sep-13 06:24:11

Wel that's definitely my time to delurk..as I got a BFP!!shock
With such an high risk of mc though, it doesn't even seem real..I think I'm trying to protect my self from hoping too much..
But just for today it's still good news isn't it? smile

sparkly work is hard, some classes are manageable, but I have one class where they are so noisy and naughty I can hardly speak.. You can hardly split the "bad ones" as there are too many of them..confused..
Happy to here about your baby arrival and the enthusiasm of DD1..I really hope your Dh will cope with this new situation and change his mood, he may needs some time though..no way to have a chat with him?

Morien Mon 16-Sep-13 07:19:54

Fantastic news, mozzarella, good for you thanks I know what you mean about not wanting to hope too much (I've been exactly the same), but for today you're pregnant. Congratulations - here's too a smooth, easy pregnancy.

I'll gratefully settle down with that brew, gum - just what I need! I'm always here reading, but I post less than when I was TTC, partly as I don't have a lot to report, and also because I don't want to complain here about every little pregnancy niggle as I know that everyone here would love to have those niggles (you know what I mean wink).

Anyway, am 19+2 now, got my next scan in 2 weeks, though due to see my gynae before that. Am finally feeling less tired, and in fact I feel so well now that I forget I'm pregnant - and keep getting a shock when I see my little (but fast-growing) bump in a mirror.

Wishing you all a lovey week!

hopefulgum Mon 16-Sep-13 10:38:53

thanksCongratulations mozzarellathanks That is wonderful news. When did you find out? How far along are you?

Morien, it is nice to hear from you. Wow! 19 +2. I can't believe you are almost half way through. I hope you can enjoy your growing bump. How exciting.

Must dash, DS calling me from the bath...shock

mozzarellamummy Mon 16-Sep-13 11:38:32

I am 4 wks +3..almost no symptoms..I will try to see my dr next week..actually Ididn't expect it for this month as I thought we didn't dtd on fertile days..maybe it's a super SWI who survived for a few days..should I worry even more?

sparklysapphire Mon 16-Sep-13 11:47:19

Congratulations mozzarella, what lovely news! Here's to a smooth, trouble free pregnancy - I really hope this one works for you.

Jbrd, that seems really quick with the testing. I hope they find some explanation and something treatable.

Diege, that sounds like a huge baby! I hope you're doing ok though.

Gum, I don't think you're talking to yourself! It's always good to read your posts however you're feeling and I do think that having an outlet is really useful. I know I've found it helpful.

My brother & family came yesterday to meet the new arrival. DB & DH went for a drink (for much longer than they said), but my clever DB finally got DH to talk. DH and I haven't had chance to talk as he collapsed in a heap on the bed and went to sleep, but I'm sure it's helped so hopefully we can make some progress. Otherwise all is good, DD2 gaining weight, I'm losing sleep, but finding it much easier this time round!

notsoold Mon 16-Sep-13 13:18:46

Mozzarella... Wonderful news!!! Many congratulations!!smile

Morien...I agree with gum that time flies!!! Will you want to know the gender????

Sparkly....excellent that people are talking to your dh!!! I hope he comes around soon!!!lovely to know baby sparkly is doing well!!!

Gum my thoughts are with your dfil starting radiation. Your questions is very valid regarding the right time to have a baby, and only you can answer it. I always think that problems are always with us but good things we grab them as they present themselves...xxx

Jbrd how are ww coming along??? Good news people are testing you !!!!

Diege...that is a big baby!!! Are you going to have another scan confirming size or is that it???

Cali, how is life in your new place???

irish....how are you doing?? Xxxx

hello!!!

I am another lurker always reading and keeping fingers crossed for you all....
I will have another scan in less the two weeks ( will be 36 weeks then) to see if baby is still breech and if so what will be done....still working until the end of September!!!

Hello to everyone else I missed

isadorable Mon 16-Sep-13 13:30:28

Just a quickie to say congrats to mozzarella mummy. I am sending my best sticky vibes.

Glad to hear you're coping we'll with the sleepless nights sparkly. Hope your husband gets his head straight soon.

Diege - wow to a big boy! Were your others big too?

JBrd - pleased to hear you're getting swift and thorough attention.

Gum - I am on day 13 so I think we're in synch. I am sorry I don't post more at the moment. My dad has a sarcoma - soft tissue tumour in his hip. Waiting for biopsy results this week but he's clearly in agony and already on morphine. :-(
I feel very sad to be far away. I know he's getting great care - going to the marsden in London but I wish I could be there even just for a cup of tea and a chat. So, I sympathise - must be hard to watch your fil and by extension your dh suffer. Nobody is ever ready to face this stuff.

So - I am a bit all over the place and my little one is really playing me up. I would love her to have a sibling - everything going on makes me want that more for her and yet emotionally I'm exhausted and dtd is not top of my list of priorities but I want it to be.

Irishmammybread Mon 16-Sep-13 14:09:03

Congratulation Mozzarella ! That's really good news. Hope your teaching isn't causing you too much stress at this time, try to take it easy if you can.
gum sorry to hear about your FIL and I can see it must be difficult for your DH at the moment.
Also isadorable, it must be hard to worry about your Dad from a distance,I hope his treatment is successful.
Diege your baby boy is HUGE! Mine were all under the weight he is now at birth and they were all overdue, DS by 2 weeks! When will they decide re a natural delivery or c section?
Sparkly sounds promising that DH is opening up and talking and glad that baby sparkly is doing well.
*CaliBee" you sound like you're settling in to life in NI, hope your DD has a lovely visit with you. Doing that course sounds like a really good idea, it's a skill you could use to start your own business any where, I presume you'll have more travelling with the army over the next few years?
When is your DD1's baby due?
Hi Morien and notsoold, glad to hear your pregnancies are progressing well.
I'm counting down to my next scan next week. I'm feeling tired and nauseous a lot of the time, which is great, I'm not complaining! When I stop feeling ill I worry even more though. And I know from experience the symptoms can still remain after things have gone wrong! I went to see the GPs last week after the scan to book in for antenatal care. It wasn't a doctor I normally choose to see and she was less than enthuasiastic or encouraging about my pregnancy,just commented that she assumed I was aware of the high risks of conditions like Down's at my age and filled in forms without much further comment. We've not told the DC yet,though the girls may start to notice soon,I have definitely changed shape. I don't know what that's all about since the little one still isn't much bigger than a bean!
Hello to everyone else
p.s. gum even if I'm not posting very often,I love reading your posts,please don't stop!

isadorable Mon 16-Sep-13 22:34:14

Irish - I imagine it must be extremely nerve wracking, not least after what you've already been through. Keep taking it a day at a time. I remember the panic I felt when I didn't feel sick, when I didn't think she was moving enough (I really craved full fat coke, something I hadn't drunk in years, rationed myself except when I really needed the reassurance of her dancing around. Someone gave her some coke not long ago and she's always asking for it now. I won't give it to her - I hadn't made the connection till now!)

I told my gyne we'd like another baby but I wondered if it was too late. He pulled a face like he was sucking a lemon. He's very old school and a lot of doctors won't be positive I guess but it isn't up to them to decide things. My pain doc sent me to see a psychologist cos she was so surprised I would risk another pregnancy. Psych was/is lovely about it though. It is for you and your family to decide these things and your doc to take care of you. I will be thinking of you next week. Thanks for our kindness re my dad.

jass43 Tue 17-Sep-13 15:28:50

So many goo dress,congratulations to new bfp-owners and best luck. It is giving hope for us all, I repeat. So happy for you.
I am uneventful these last weeks, ttc at the quasi-right time this cycle, due to my work left home at CD 12, but I elieve I did ovulate thereabouts as well. No opts this month, my cervical mucus is good enough indicator I believe. Feeling relaxed about the whole ting, maybe indifferent, but happier than mpatiently waiting to OV, then to test.
Good luck to everyone, off to plane to return home now....
Yours,
Jass

hopefulgum Tue 17-Sep-13 23:35:05

Good morning ladies.

Nothing much to report here. I think I must be in true peri-menopause sad now. It is taking longer than usual these days to ovulate, and I have no sign whatsoever of cervical mucus. Any suggestions??

OPK was negative last night, so I did one when I got up this morning and it is so close to positive that I recorded it as positive. It's CD14, so it is about time. I will test again this afternoon to see whether the surge was missed overnight or if it is yet to come. I had planned on SWI last night, but I was feeling a bit sick (nauseous) after dinner, so there was no action. The sickness was so like morning sickness that I foolishly took a preg test this am. I knew it would be negative - I still have low temps as I usually do before ovulation, but I thought I'd check as it really did feel like pregnancy sickness. Maybe it's ovulation sickness? wink

I slept badly, and woke before 5 am, so I think today will be a struggle, and I'll have to have a nap when I get home from work so that I can muster up the energy for SWI confused

I will be glad when I finally get a BFP and THB. [praying/begging emoticon] It will be a relief to not have to have sex [yawn]

Good to see some action on the thread. Isadorable, I am sorry to hear your father is unwell. How difficult for you when you are far away.

Jass, it is nice to hear from you, and great that you are feeling relaxed about things.

Irish, that GP sounds like an idiot. Why on earth talk about the risks when you are already pregnant. To me that is just silly, and presumes that you have no idea. A bit insulting I think. Anyway, don't worry what anyone thinks. We all know you are a wonderful mummy and your baby is very lucky to have found its way to you. I hope you continue to feel sick and tired, but don't forget it can wax and wan. I have everything crossed for you.

Mozza I remember you saying that you thought your timing wasn't very good this cycle. Was it just before you went on holiday? Perhaps the holiday was just what you needed for the little bean to burrow in.

I must go and feed DS his breakfast. Have a lovely day.cake

JBrd Wed 18-Sep-13 13:07:52

Just poking my head in quickly to say congratulations to mozzarella! Fab news, wishing you a boring and uneventful pregnancy thanks

All god here, very very busy, trying to keep my head above water (only just!)

Will write more detailed some other time!

<<waves to everyone>>

Irishmammybread Wed 18-Sep-13 14:44:34

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Isadorable and gum, I was having a very shakey day yesterday( when my nausea seemed much better so I thought the worst) and it really helped!
I have to admit I caved in to the panic though and booked a private scan for today.I was reassured to see my baby is growing,now measuring 8w4d and everything looks normal.I was able to listen to the little heartbeat which was amazing.I know it's still early days and I've lost one later then this previously but for today I'm still pregnant!
Isadorable that's really interesting about your DD and coke. When my mum was pregnant with me she craved a particular brand of brown sauce,never liked it before and never liked it after I was born.When I was little I loved that sauce and wouldn't eat my meals without it!
Sorry to hear you didn't get a good reaction from your gynae either, but as you say it's not their choice or decision to make.
gum was your next opk positive? You must be exhausted if you were up from 5am, you sound like you have such a busy life and pack so much into your days anyway! Hope you managed some SWI.
Hi Jass ,JBrd and everyone else.

isadorable Wed 18-Sep-13 16:40:13

Hi Irish - delighted to hear you got to see your little bun again and all is well. I think it is totally normal to feel wobbly! As to the food and drinks - it is amazing isnt it? I ate lots of fish, potatoes and broccoli when pregnant with her (craved bland things when normally I like quite spicy things) and she adores all three foods. Infact, as soon as we get in the supermarket she says - "Mama, fish!".

How's things Gum? Hi to everyone else!

diege Wed 18-Sep-13 16:46:37

Congrats mozzarella that's lovely news smile
Great news too irish about the scan - hopefully you will feel reassured enough to see you through to the next appointment xx
Gum fingers crossed you have the energy later on tonight! Will be sending you energy vibes <returns to chocolate sundae> and just think how pleased you'll feel to get it out of the way grin
Back from the mw - did I mention she is the most useless, disinterested mw to walk the earth wink - all ok, baby is measuring big (she said he feels around 7ib now) and fundal height 39 weeks. Had to remind her to listen to the heart hmm Booked in for next week, though she said I needn't bother hmm but I am quite anxious about this whole big baby/low placenta thing so said I'd prefer an appointment before I see the consultant the week after...
Hoping everyone is ok - quite eventful here in the snug at the moment!

mozzarellamummy Wed 18-Sep-13 20:19:31

Thanks everyone for your congratulations.. I am actually quite ov