We will try anything! The big fat posifrickintivity thread of TTC after MC

(991 Posts)
GuffSmuggler Fri 14-Jun-13 15:51:41

A new thread for all you lovely, crazy ladies. Here's to lots of BFPs!

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 14-Jun-13 16:06:51

Checking in! Seeing we are all so down today, we definitely need some big fat posifrickintivity.

camomile hope you had a lovely honeymoon. I know what you mean by you ought to have a sticky bean by now. The text reminded me that my second MC was supposed to due in Oct/Nov. We could have been on maternity together sad.

katatonic Fri 14-Jun-13 16:28:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alyant79 Fri 14-Jun-13 16:47:23

I like the new thread name guff

what happens if the thread hits 1000 anyway? do all our computers explode? wink

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 14-Jun-13 16:55:50

katatonic is this your cycle 0? It was really wtf for me. I had my AF on 9dpo on my wtf cycle. I think also ovulated on week 3. It is all back to normal for me in cycle 1. Currently at 12dpo. I guess I should be happy that at least it is long enough a luteal phase for implantation. Instead of feeling so down.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 14-Jun-13 17:44:51

*The thread rules cut and pasted from the previous ones:
For all of the newbies, here are the thread rules courtesy of Santa:
POAS Rules*
<<usurps thunder's dictatorship complex>>

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative <<refuses to admit that's what I'll do>>
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

By the way, welcome (not that that's quite the right word, but you know what I mean) to all the other ladies who so sadly find themselves here. Its great fun, everyone is lovely and not at all psychotic!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 14-Jun-13 17:45:20

Flipping bold fail!!

Misspositivity Fri 14-Jun-13 18:03:02

Hey just marking my wee spot. Thanks to those who have accepted me for the mad symptom spotter but job I am and still want me around

As for mouth ulcers - I don't think these are a symptom might hav made that on up.

camomile hope u had a lovely honeymoon

I think we should add a new rule that you can't poas more than 1 day before your period. I literally would save a small fortune

kata. It's not called the wtf cycle for nothing. My next cycle seemed to have clicked back in both time though or maybe just maybe a BFP is heading your way.

Misspositivity Fri 14-Jun-13 18:03:40

But job. Lol. Meant nut job. !!!!

katatonic Fri 14-Jun-13 18:16:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misspositivity Fri 14-Jun-13 18:23:10

katatoni sorry missed that it's cycle 1. Opening a bottle sounds like a good idea. Shall join you.

I am cramping loads so think its game over for miss positivity.

Smep for me this month too.

Penguinita Fri 14-Jun-13 19:03:07

Just marking my place on the new thread! But not with a wee spot like missp (isn't that what dogs do to lamposts??) grin

I'm currently on cycle 0 too and it is totally wtf, it is day 29 post MC and still waiting for my BFN on blood test due next Tuesday. No sign of OV yet on bbt so looks like this cycle will be at least 44 days!

So I'm going to a friend's house for cocktails tonight, but feeling a bit sad as last time I did that was the day after I found out I was pg and I had to make excuses for not drinking and go home early. Hope I don't end up in a blubbering mess tonight at the memory!

I like the bold rules saggy, fits in with your new dictator style grin

Rockchick1984 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:22:29

Marking my place! I've done SMEP this month and now in 2ww so will let you know how I get on - hopefully by declaring a BFP in a fortnight grin

alyant79 Fri 14-Jun-13 19:50:13

oh my cam i forgot to welcome you back from honeymoon!
penguin i hope you're enjoying your cocktails and not spiking them with tears

I've had a couple of beers at a work do that I didn't want to go to because I've been feeling miserable all day. Going to go home now and sulk as i'm still getting very suspicious AF-like cramps (not due til tuesday but would't be surprised if she comes early)

BirdsDoIt Fri 14-Jun-13 20:10:09

Like the new thread name guff! And the bossy bold rules, saggy.

Can I join the rest of you down in the dumps? I've been feeling v pissed off for the last couple of days - i'm now on cd24 of cycle 1 (have had one AF since mmc) and according to my temping (first time I've tried it) I STILL haven't ov'd. After 9 consecutive days of DTD in hope, I feel this is a little unfair. I threw in the towel two days ago so we've had two days off but feeling really dispirited about it still. DTD just isn't so fun any more. Sigh. Part of me thinks if it's this difficult maybe we shouldn't bother. DH a bit bewildered by this latest development, unsurprisingly. Ah well, perhaps I'll feel better after the weekend. Off out for drinks now so perhaps that will help!

Must work on my posifrickintivity. Sorry everyone.

GuffSmuggler Fri 14-Jun-13 21:29:01

saggy do you get a fish slap for a bold fail? grin

birds I know what you mean, TTC really sucks the fun out of things and we seem to have the responsibility of it all - my DH too is perplexed by this 'go go go' and then 'oh no can't be arsed' approach, he doesn't know what to expect! I say have a few days break if you're feeling fed up with it all.

PS alyant it just won't let you post anything else more after 1000

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 14-Jun-13 22:05:06

Anyone want to second MissPositivities suggestion for an addendum to the rules? grin

Emki Fri 14-Jun-13 22:53:10

Hello all - just marking my spot and thank you for starting a new thread - great title!

Can I also join in on being down in the dumps? I've been close to tears for the last few days. My boss and his wife went for their 20 wk scan - it is nearly ( a week off) a year since I went for my 20 wk scan and found out there was no heart beat - also their baby is due the day my father died - yesterday i thought my head was going to explode with all the dates and anniversaries going through my head. I really thought I would be further along by now - oh yes I am, i had another MC and now surrounded by people who are due in September which is when that one would have been due ..... anyway - at least the sun came out for a bit today and I went and had a glass of fizz after work with a friend - its all just so hard. We are grieving, we loved our little beans and bumps and now we have no where to put that love.

I also want to agree with what someone said up thread - a colleague of mine has told me the story of his friend and wife who had lots of mcs and now have a baby - IT JUST DOESN'T HELP!!! But I smiled and said I was off to get a cup of tea .....

Well Im on CD12 - DH is working away but back at weekends and he just called saying he'll be home by midnight and might also be staying on Monday too ... whoopie as hoping my cycle will be nearly back to normal and i'll OV CD15 which is what happened before MC ...

Before I knew this I'd planned to go up and see him in Bristol where he is working - just for the night and taking the morning off work .... again I'm being slightly very obsessive when it comes to OV days - I dont' even know if ill OV then or not! But it'll be nice to get away - feel very stressed with it all - feel i've aged so much in the last year ...

Anyhoo - sorry about the me me me post! I've been so low I haven't wanted to post recently, but have been lurking ..... but as we're generally feeling a bit low - thought it might be ok .

Big UN mumsnet hugs to you all - here's to a lovely weekend and planning nice things for the week ahead - mine is a naughty night away with DH x

Emki Fri 14-Jun-13 22:56:34

Welcome home cam

BirdsDoIt Sat 15-Jun-13 08:51:43

emki I'm sorry you've been having a shitty time too. I found the 20 week mark really difficult too - my boss went for hers a few weeks ago (she's the same dates as I would have been). As someone said, you expect it to get easier with time - which it does, but then these episodes of going back to feeling so sad all over again really blindside you. I'm glad you've got a naughty night away planned to brighten the week ahead! I've decided this weekend I'm finally going to go through our wedding photos (two years on) and choose some good ones to put up on our walls - haven't looked at them for ages and it always makes me feel happy!

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 15-Jun-13 10:42:14

Sounds like lots of us having shitty times at the moment.

Emki - it doesnt come across as a 'me me me' post, don't worry. Please dont feel you can't post when youre feeling blue (if you want to). Posting here is always ok. Sorry you've got so many anniversaries coming up and really hope you get some good timing for your naughty night on Monday. DH working away from home sounds stressful. Lots of hugs.

Birds - I hope the photos are cheering you up today. I think I might do the same today as it sounds a good plan. I also go in and out of positivity. Although mine doesn't seem the standard two weekly swings atm, can go from happy to hysterical within minutes!

Hope people are generally feeling a bit better today. Alyant - how are you feeling today. Did you have a good wine/film night Katatonic? Was your cocktail evening ok in the end Penguin?

MissP - hoping she stays away!

Rockchick - sending positive vibes for a bfp your way.

Sorry if I've missed anyone, struggle with doing this on the phone.

In the spirit of the new thread title; this month I am currently eating pineapple under the delusion that this night help with implantation and because I love pineapple and I'm also starting evening primrose oil as my ewcm was disappointingly lack luster this month.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 15-Jun-13 10:44:44

Oh, and I'm going on an alcohol detox after we've polished off the bottle of red we've sitting downstairs that is

Emki Sat 15-Jun-13 11:01:53

Morning! Feeling brighter today - being the weekend and not at work definitely helps! Also got a positive line on OV stick this morning .... A day or two or 3-5 earlier than I thought - only had one full cycle since erpc - so luckily dh home and we dtd this morning ... He is also very chuffed that I'm still planning to do the night away even though I won't be OV! I now need to start limbering up for more dtd action tonight and tomorrow! And next week when we are in Bristol - !!!

Thank you cam and birds and hope you have fun day sorting photos! Good therapy!

missp and rockchick sending lots of positive vibes your way.

Hope everyone ok x

If you are lurking mummy and tins {{{waves & hugs}}} xxx

Emki Sat 15-Jun-13 11:03:22

Oh and used preseed for the first time and off to buy pineapple shortly - I thought I needed to stay loyal to the thread's title!

Penguinita Sat 15-Jun-13 11:28:16

Hope everyone is feeling a bit more upbeat this morning! I am, the cocktail evening went well as the conversation didn't go anywhere near babies so I held it together. Now I have a thumping headache to show for it (ow).

And thanks to guff for starting the new thread and coming up with the new title. Although I thought the title of the last one was very witty, I was getting that sodding chumbawumba song stuck in my head for hours every time I checked the thread!

Misspositivity Sat 15-Jun-13 18:56:51

emki. Sorry you felt so rotten yesterday and glad you are having a better day. What is preseed and enjoy your trip away.

Still slightly crampy today with some sharp pain in left side. Not feeling very positive.

On the plus side my DP has won some vouchers for a 5* hotel in Ireland. So booked a night away on 8 July and I didn't even check if I would be ovulating. <pats self on back for behaving like a normal person>.

Hope everyone is feeling a bit brighter today

mummy and tins. Still thinking of you guys and hope your both doing ok.

Misspositivity Sat 15-Jun-13 19:06:23

alyant. How are you coping with our 2ww. I find it really difficult at least in the DtD window there is some thing practical to do.

Emki Sat 15-Jun-13 19:32:30

missp preseed is a fertility lubricant .... Some of the ladies here have talked about it and conceive plus .... I actually think I have conceive plus and not preseed ... Sorry - unintentional lie!

Fingers crossed AF stays away for about 9 months smile

Emki Sat 15-Jun-13 19:34:07

missp great news about the trip away ! And huge pat on the back for not planning around OV - we've not totally lost the plot! Xx

nearlyreadytopop Sat 15-Jun-13 19:35:19

hi,
hope you don't mind if I hang around, really not ready for joining a pregnancy thread. (and I really must know if the syringe workedgrin )

Tomkat79 Sat 15-Jun-13 19:53:21

Hi guys...have been looking at this SMEP. Today is day 8 but feeling about as sexy as a wet fish!

Bit worried that this is going to carry on all month. If I'm really honest, and you're the only ones who know this, I'm just so frickin terrified of being pregnant again!!

alyant79 Sat 15-Jun-13 21:38:11

missp i'm feel very very non-positive. Also been feeling crampy with a few pains coming and going.
AF due tue/wed according to my usual cycle (not due til friday if ov sticks were to believed and i have a normal length luteal phase), but i won't be surprised if when she shows up earlier.
Pretty ticked off about it, and even DH is a bit sad. He usually plays it cool and pretends not to care but I think that's because he also really thought it would be very quick. Kind of feels like a kick in the teeth - I know that I was lucky to get pregnant immediately with both my previous pregnancies but because of that i expected it to be quick this time too. I can't help feeling that something is wrong...

missp how exciting about the 5* hotel! woo!

emki i'm glad you're feeling better today

nearly of course you should hang around as long as you want

my new tactic for this next month will be temping. going to order a bbt as soon as AF arrives. I might toss cheap ov sticks into the mix too, but defo not getting the cb digi advance ones

GuffSmuggler Sat 15-Jun-13 22:07:45

I'm 5 days into the 2ww and time seems to be moving along so slowly, am already thinking how early I can POAS and then try and pull myself together with a big self-fish slap.

Missp the hotel sounds fab, but I would have already been counting my calendar and working out if I was ov!

tomkat I know what you mean, I'm desperate to get PG again but at the same time I'm terrified of the next stage of worry it will create but I try and focus on one worry at a time if that would help you! If you really don't feel ready then don't put pressure on yourself. Perhaps have some time off but don't take precautions and who knows??

Emki Sat 15-Jun-13 22:23:10

guff fingers crossed for you - I really don't like any part of this ttc!

aly fingers crossed for you too- we are really being tested in the patience area - I keep saying to myself 'ok so lets pretend noting has happened and I want to try for a baby' I keep trying to shed myself of the baggage I'm carrying around all the time

tomkat I know - I'm terrified of the thing I want most! But I agree with aly one worry at time - and all the ladies are here to give support x

Emki Sat 15-Jun-13 22:55:28

aly I too got pregnant straight away with first two pregnancies - and now following 2 mc it's not happening straight way - i feel like I'm in a tread mill and can't get off!!! But it will happen and your not out of the game this month xxx {hugs} to you xx

OneLittleToddleTerror Sun 16-Jun-13 06:39:51

I don't know why I POAS this morning. 14 dpo and I never have results this early. Ofc it's a BFN.

And yes I'm terrified of being pregnant again, but it's because I'm scared of having another MC. I'm constantly thinking that this is it for me, secondary infertility.

Hopefully others have more happy thoughts today.

flohs Sun 16-Jun-13 08:06:46

Hello! Can I join? 4th cycle since mc at end of February. We'd been trying for about 7 mths before that. Started spotting a few days early yesterday - queue tears and drama from me. So wanted to be pregnant again. Tried SMEP but it didn't work. So I guess I'm in need of positivity!!!

flohs Sun 16-Jun-13 08:07:42

Ps v scared of being pregnant again too! Getting that elusive bfp certainly seems just like the first hurdle

Rockchick1984 Sun 16-Jun-13 09:13:05

Sorry for BFN OLTT but hopefully it's just too early thanks <fish slap> for testing on a Sunday smile

Welcome Flohs sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Have you been actively trying again since it happened?

JBrd Sun 16-Jun-13 09:13:54

It's so sad that we have to be scared of being pregnant, isn't it?! I'm the same. Really want to be, but at the same time, I'm terrified. And I'm sure that next time I get a BFP, I will make sure my calendar is clear around the 8-week-mark hmm

flohs Sun 16-Jun-13 09:33:31

Yep been trying a lot since and nothing... hmm. Frustration is so much worse since than before we got pregnant. But I guess that's normal. Thanks for the nice welcome! grin

Penguinita Sun 16-Jun-13 09:55:59

<slaps OLTT with a trout for not waiting until Friday> But keep your chin up, results can change in the next 5 days.

Welcome flohs, hope you can absorb a bit of posifrickingtivity from the lovely ladies here.

I'm totally terrified of being pregnant again too. I was a bit scared last time, but mainly because of childbirth and the changes to my body. This time I have a whole heap of extra stuff to be scared about that in my innocence I didn't really know about before <sighs>.

And even though I really want to get a BFN so that I know I'm back to "normal" (hmm) again, I'm also dreading it because it will be back to square one and time to get on the treadmill again.

Will be interested to know if the cheap OPK sticks work for you aly. I got some as a "free gift" with my bbt thermometer off ebay. Haven't tried them yet as I'm rather sceptical about their quality! Although the free gift pregnancy test sticks that also came with it were brilliant.

RainbowConnections Sun 16-Jun-13 12:00:14

Hi all, including new folk. Like the new thread title.
Congrats nearlyreadytopop.

I had BFP a couple of weeks ago but still lurking, hope thats ok. Sorry the posifrickintivity has been low.

Just to share my very limited experience so far of being pregnant again. While it is every bit as scary as I thought, and more, there are still little joyful moments when I allow myself briefly to dream about the future that make it worth the worry.
Tomkat i think it was you who talked about having "faith" in the discussion re early scans. It came back to me yesterday and was wiser than i realised. Scan or not, I think its what you ultimately get by on.

DH and DS are at in-laws today and I'm lazing around watching embarrassingly trashy teen drama today. I hope some of you have good weekend things happening. x

Misspositivity Sun 16-Jun-13 14:41:51

Welcome Flohs. We had a chat on a SMEP before. It will happen for u all. You will find lots of positivity here

oltt. It's very tempting isn't it to poas. Don't feel bad but here's a big slap with a mackerel.

I am currently 10 dpo and normal cycle due AF Tuesday. Let's do some physco symptom spotting

Sore boobs
Nauseated
Dizzy when stand up
Tingly teeth
Stuffed up nose
Mouth ulcers (think we decided this was not a symptom)
No spotting at all ( I know this can be a good sign but with my only viable pregnancy I didn't have any at implantation and with 2 mc had loads and a lot of pain
Mild cramps and pain in LhS

Gut feeling is AF will arrive on Tuesday. But sure a bit of symptom spotting wheels me busy. alyant guff and oltt fingers crossed for you guys.

Tomkat79 Sun 16-Jun-13 15:35:44

Ha rainbow yep that was me. Rumbled. I can happily apply all of that logic to anyone except myself ;-)

RainbowConnections Sun 16-Jun-13 16:33:09

Its not easy. Don't rush. I'd talk lots more to DH about whether i was ready if I was doing it over.

Penguinita Sun 16-Jun-13 17:27:43

Tingly teeth?? That's a new one on me! grin

Misspositivity Sun 16-Jun-13 18:18:53

penguinita I think I might have made that one up along with the ulcer thing. <sighs>.

katatonic Sun 16-Jun-13 18:38:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneLittleToddleTerror Sun 16-Jun-13 18:46:56

katatonic all the best with next cycle. Like your positivity already.

And welcome to the new people. I can't scroll back up to see all your names since I'm on the phone. But hope you find the support you need here.

Thanks for all the fish slaps too. We have packed our bags today and have lots of luggage allowance left. So in going to pack my CBFM (and some tampons) if I don't get a bfp tomorrow. I know I really need slapping to plan on POAS tomorrow again. I think it's aly saying why I need to pack the CBFM. I won't be in my fertile window while on holiday. But I need to press the M button at CD1. And also turn it on once a day to advance the day window.

Though actually I haven't been turning it on since about CD18. So jopefully I haven't messed it up already. It is supposedly to learn my cycle, isn't it?

katatonic Sun 16-Jun-13 18:54:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hi all, I was on the last thread but after a crappy week I have been just lurking. Feeling a bit happier today after a bit of sunshine and a nice day out with DD and DH. Just coming to the end of the first AF since MC and although very heavy and painful the fist couple of days it wasn't too bad, although it did make me very tearful and emotional - we aren't really sure if we should TTC this month as DH has just lost his job - although he has to be paid for three months regardless and is pretty positive about getting something else, it is a worry. He wants to put it on hold for a bit, we talked last night and I just got very upset as I am 36 in August and although I know it shouldn't make too much of a difference I do worry about my age and waiting. We are financially ok for another few months but it would use all our savings - which is what we were keeping for Mat leave. I am just gutted and really fed up about the thought of waiting.

alyant79 Sun 16-Jun-13 21:34:15

hello all, i hope you've all had a lovely weekend.

bummer kata re AF, but loving the positivity.

missP i'm also loving your symptom spotting.

Welcome flohs i'm sorry i'm lacking in the positivity dept atm but will try and pass some your way anyway!

OLTT have a fabulous time on your holiday. Really hope that you don't need the cbfm! and here's a fish slap in advance of your testing tomorrow

Thanks so much EVERYONE for the support. sorry i'm feeling so low and inflicting it on you guys. Tomorrow is a new week and it's up, up, UP!

missmakes it is a tricky situtation that you are in. What if you don't actively ttc but also don't take any precautions? I think i'd be paranoid about waiting and it then taking ages and ages to fall pg. And maybe, magically, taking the ttc stress away will make it happen for you - in which case I'm a bit fan of ''everything will work out OK in the end": DH will get a new job easily before his 3 months pay ends.

Penguinita Sun 16-Jun-13 22:01:34

Since everyone is talking about the CBFM I took a look at it. It is £54 with free delivery on amazon at the moment, is that a good price? And does it come with sticks or do I need to buy a pack of those separately?

I was going to wait a cycle or two before trying any monitoring, but after reading the rave reviews on amazon I'm starting to get tempted...

Poor you missmakestuff, life is being pretty rotten to you at the moment. But being 36 isn't all that bad, honestly - take it from a 36 year old wink

OneLittleToddleTerror Sun 16-Jun-13 22:07:07

Pengunita I got mine from amazon too and I think it's about the same price. You'll need to get sticks separately. You need 10 for cycle 1 if you ovluate before CD16, otherwise 20. There are 20 sticks in each pack.

katatonic we are off to Majorca for the sun! Super excited about it, but mainly just getting away from work. It's been very stressful.

miss I don't know what I would do in your situation. I think I'll wait but that's because I'm a worrier about money.

BirdsDoIt Mon 17-Jun-13 08:45:53

Morning folks.

oltt hope you have a fab and sunshine-filled holiday!

missmakes I agree with aly, maybe just say to your DH you're going to take it easy for a few months but don't take precautions either - and if you want to keep an eye on dates etc, then you could still do that...totally understand why the idea of waiting stresses you out so much. Occasionally I think to myself, WHY did we wait so long before ttc?? But I guess you don't expect it to so fraught.

Like penguinita I have just been having a look at cbfm and now very tempted!! Does anyone else on here who uses it have long cycles? Pre- mmc mine ranged from 35 to 42 days - will it still work? Presumably I just have to use loads of sticks? (Expensive having long cycles!)

BirdsDoIt Mon 17-Jun-13 08:46:30

To be so fraught

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 17-Jun-13 09:11:19

Oh just for an update. Another BFN. I think I deserve that fish slap!

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 17-Jun-13 09:14:12

birds i'm sure my box says it's for cycles up to 42 days. I think their websites would say the longest cycle it can handle. However, if your cycle is also irregular, then it probably won't be much help? I don't know about this one, but charting is usually only for fairly regular periods?

If your cycle is long, you need 20 sticks a cycle. The manual says it'll use either 10 or 20. On cycle 1, it will ask you for a stick from CD6. So if you ovulate before CD16, then you'll only need 10. If you ovulate between 16 and 25 then you'll need 20. HTH.

flohs Mon 17-Jun-13 10:13:28

Hmmm... No idea what's going on. Started spotting on Saturday and have been on and off but that's it! No proper flow yet... Hmmm. 4 mths on and still getting weird cycles - anyone else get this?

flohs Mon 17-Jun-13 10:15:49

Ps misstakes - trying in a relaxed way might be a good idea... Can totally see the idea of stopping altogether would be v frustrating. people do say cooling it for a bit can be good for the mind and therefore the body!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 17-Jun-13 10:43:13

Right! AF is done, work is out of the way, and I'm back in the saddle! Here goes....
Flohs my AFs/cycles have been weird.
I think it went:
Really light,
Really heavy,
Short cycle,
Long cycle,
Normal cycle but really heavy...
Hoping its all back on track now!

alyant79 Mon 17-Jun-13 10:56:01

bugger OLTT but at least you can sit back and enjoy some nice cold white wine in the majorcan sun.

flohs my AFs (3) have also been quite light since mc, but so far there has been one day that makes me say it's a bit heavier than just spotting. Nevertheless each time I think "oooh maybe it's just an implantation bleed", but no.
I find it easy to fall into the implantation bleed trap because i had it with my DD and was totally fooled into thinking it was AF: hence had my dates all wrong when i finally found out at around 8 weeks. But now I think every period is an implantation bleed!

Sundance2007 Mon 17-Jun-13 12:43:27

Hi all! Great new thread title btw.

Hope everyone had a fab weekend....think we all ended the week feeling the same: pissed off, sad, frustrated and in my case....slightly desperate too (full on crying on Saturday when I got home from having dinner with 2 pregnant friends!) poor DH, he didn't know what to say.

Anyway, have reached the end of OV finally, probably one last heave-ho tonight before I can get my precious uninterrupted sleep again and start the horrendous 2ww.

Ending on a positive though - got the results back from the colposcopy clinic this morning (I had a dodgy smear 2 years ago), and all is fine and normal - phew! I don't have to go for another year now which is one less thng to worry about in 'that' area. smile

flohs Mon 17-Jun-13 13:22:48

Sundance great news about the test! And yay to the end of ovulation. It's always such a relief!! Ahh pregnant friends - its so tough. I had lunch with the friend I was supposed to be having a baby at the same time as on Saturday. I also bemuse my DH with crying and upset. He is such an optimist!

Al - yeh really don't think it is implantation bleeding. Think it's just my silly confused body. I'll give it till at least thursday if AF still hasn't showed before I POAS. But have got zero other symptoms.

Thanks all for your feedback on strange cycles post mc. I think I read so much that people got pregnant really quickly post mc and you were at your most fertile etc I think I just expected that it would be the same for us. So maybe I just have to learn to accept that it is just like before we got bfp and could take a while.

GuffSmuggler Mon 17-Jun-13 14:13:19

Hi all,

It's a new week! I'm only ONE week into the 2ww, it's like time has stopped, I just need to know, NOW!!!! Arrgghhh desperately symtom spotting and nothing (but never got any symtoms with previous PG so irrelevant..)

missmakes I wouldn't stop trying if I were you, but I have a naive 'everything will be ok' outlook to life so perhaps not the most sensible but I'm sure you'd cope and you'd be so happy if you got PG you wouldn't worry so much (I think...)

Good to see you back in the saddle saggy and good news sundance grin

Sorry I've missed loads of you but let's all hope this is a more positive week!

On another note, we are currently trying to buy a house due for completion end July/beginning of August but am REALLY trying not to get stressed by it as don't want it to stop me getting upduffed!!!

alyant79 Mon 17-Jun-13 14:25:59

i found a symptom!!!
increased CM just before AF is due can be a sign of pregnancy (apparently). I've got that! woo!
still think AF will come tomorrow so i don't know why i'm excited.

flohs I read so many good news stories like that too, and have seen a lot of them on here. But i find it a bit heartening that there are also a few of us who haven't been so lucky - at least we aren't alone smile

sundance that great news about the smear

Rockchick1984 Mon 17-Jun-13 14:41:42

Aly both times I've been pregnant I've had tons of creamy CM (far more than normal) a day or 2 prior to expecting AF. Other than that its been terrible wind, and spots on my forehead so these are the 3 things I'm looking out for - only 6 DPO though so far too early grin

Guff when are you testing? I'm torn between early test this Fri or waiting to see if AF arrives a week tomorrow and possibly testing the following Friday. Good luck with the house move - have read that it's not the stress itself that can stop you getting pregnant, it's the symptoms of stress eg eating junk, not as much sex drive, so try to stay healthy and shagging!

Brilliant news on the test results Sundance thanks

flohs Mon 17-Jun-13 15:29:28

CM is v good Aly!

alyant79 Mon 17-Jun-13 16:54:08

ooh thanks guys. i thought it was a crazy symptom but maybe not...

GuffSmuggler Mon 17-Jun-13 16:58:54

Wind you say rock? Hmmm perhaps I do have a symtom grin

Will be too early to test this Fri, don't want to risk a false negative, would mess with my head too much. Will try and hang on until after I'm due next Tues (if I don't actually go crazy before then...)

I agree aly CM is a good sign, got a good feeling about a rush of BFPs soon...

katatonic Mon 17-Jun-13 17:04:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flohs Mon 17-Jun-13 18:27:56

Kat, I haven't. We've been trying for a year and would definitely do it in a year or so if we haven't for anywhere. So very much understand your decision.

flohs Mon 17-Jun-13 18:28:44

Ps excellent positive thinking!!

Misspositivity Mon 17-Jun-13 18:45:11

Well folk. I have had a day of brown spotting off and on with cramps so pretty sure AF is arriving in next couple of days sad and after all my efforts with symptom spotting

alyant that's a good sign. Fingers crossed for you

Good luck to everyone else testing soon

<sulks off to throw out every stick in her house that can be peed on>.

To top it off my DP asked me why we are having all these problems when I had my DD so easily ( how quickly he forgets she was a threatened mc for 14 weeks).

Sorry being a bit self obsessed just feeling so down. Think it's getting on top of me but maybe period hormones.

Misspositivity Mon 17-Jun-13 18:54:13

kata. I haven't tired assisted myself but a friend at 38 tried for 6 months and then went straight to ivf as she felt time was not on her side. She now has lovely twin girls. Think it a personal choice. I hear a lot of people get pregnant after they have decided to go down that route so keep bonking.

missmakes. I really hope your DH get a new job soon and understand why u maybe want to wait and why you don't want to. Sometimes there is no right time and you just have to pick a time. Good luck.

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 17-Jun-13 19:27:34

kata DH and I have talked about assisted reproduction but decided against it because of the cost. But we have already have one child so the situation is completely different. We never expected this to be so hard because we got our first within 3 months of trying without any knowledge of cycle.

However from the mums I have met when I was on maternity, I know two who have IVF babies, and another two with some sorts of assisted ovulation drugs. Two of them are now mums of 2. And another due her second in August. I know this is a biased happy ending with IVF or clomid, given I met them at mums groups. But I hope you also get a happy ending with it.

Thanks all, still a bit down in the dumps but we are just going to see how things go - we won't be 'trying' but won't be trying to stop it either I think, I know when I ovulate and usually don't have a problem being in the mood then! We will just have to see, have over a week till we have to think about it anyway. Will try not to use the OPK sticks and just will talk about it with DH when I know I might be fertile, we can decide then. He is positive about getting something, we are just looking at it as time for him to spend time with DD and get some jobs around the house done, I am on holidays in 5 weeks so part of me wants him to be not working until then at least as it would be great to spend time together, even though we can't have a holiday! Would worry too much though that he might not get something then though.

Missp sorry you are feeling down too, it is so difficult all this, it's a rollercoaster - I hated TTC last time and am hating it now too, I don't know anyone who can just relax and let it happen. I do think hormones don't help, just when you don't need to be more emotional is when it is worst!

To those considering that monitor thing - what make it better than the cheapie sticks - I got pregnant last time on those and have always had a positive stick when I expected, also use pink pad, an app for android, which tracks my cycle, seems to be accurate.

alyant79 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:14:33

if AF doesn't arrive (it will, i need to prepare myself for that) I WILL wait until friday to POAS - although AF is due tomorrow according to my normal cycle if I believe the ov sticks I'm not 14 dpo until around thu/fri. I don't believe them, but it gives me a reason to hold off and not risk a BFN. Of course if I don't get AF until friday I will be getting more and more excited and even more disappointed if it's then a BFN.
Also it's in the rules and i like rules.
plus i don't have any sticks in the house to pee on, otherwise i would POAS tomorrow

kata that sounds like an excellent plan - and excellent positivity too. I have no experience with ART though so I can't help you, sorry. I think that i'd be looking at a similar path if i was in your situation. the possibility of another 3 years (of course that won't happen!) would be daunting.

oh missP that's a pity about the spotting. Rubbish! And you are allowed to feel down so don't apologise

Sundance2007 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:59:08

Flohs - I think I was a bit paranoid that I hadn't got pg again straight after the MC as I had read so many examples of that happening to people. However, I'm glad I didn't now as I think I needed the time to just get my head around everything. My AF is still being a bitch...much more painful and heavy than usual, but weirdly, I get dull pains when I ovulate now too which I never noticed before the PG.

alyant & Guff - keeping my fingers crossed for both of you.

The 2ww is so annoying. It feels a bit like some sort of Bingo game...statistically, someone here should hit the jackpot this month - secretly hoping it might be yourself but thrilled for anyone else who 'wins'. "Baby Bingo".

MissP - Booooo, hisss! to AF symptoms.

Kat - not there yet myself but certainly not ruling it out in the future, the sooner the better I say, any money trying will be well spent, especially if you've tried for over 3 years already. I was reading about having eggs frozen as well - loads of people seem to be doing it now.

fedupofrainydays Tue 18-Jun-13 08:21:36

hello, can I join too please? Had a MMC in March, just a couple of days before my scan day I started spotting. Been trying ever since. I am a little loopy, imagining symptoms left right and centre and doing pregnancy tests AFTER my period on the off chance it was a heavy implantation bleed (yes i know i'm mad). After tears shed every month on the arrival of AF, I'm attempting to be positive and somehow look forward to trying each month - maybe this month is the one!

alyant79 Tue 18-Jun-13 09:20:26

hi fedup sorry that you're here but you'll fit right in with loopy symptom spotting wink

AF not here yet........ despite my confidence last night i'm now not sure that i can hold out until POAS friday..... ladies, give me strength!
as well as the cardinal sin of breaking the thread rules, i terrified that i'll be tempting fate by buying a test and AF will start immediately!
But if i do a test and it's bfn then i can get mentally prepared for AF to start....

Rockchick1984 Tue 18-Jun-13 09:27:20

Welcome Fedup my MMC was April - it's awful getting AF each month but I'm trying to see it as a positive - at least I know my body is recovered from the miscarriage and hopefully it'll be able to carry to term next time.

Aly test tomorrow, it's worth the fish slap if its BFP and if not then ban any peeing on things until the weekend <bad influence> smile

katatonic Tue 18-Jun-13 09:28:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofrainydays Tue 18-Jun-13 09:35:30

Thanks Alyant

Oh I'm the queen on POAS - sometimes a week early, even when I know it will be negative. this month I POAS on 4 days before AF was due, and then on due day and then when AF was 4 days late. 5 mins after POAS on the last day, AF arrived 4 days late - typical.

I'm hoping the rules on this thread will curb my POAS addiction.

Hold off if you can... you can do it. You are lucky you don't have any in the house and please don't go and get any til tomorrow! I've taken to hiding them deep in the bin from OH as he thinks I'm mad (which isn't untrue) and i feel sick when I think about the expense!

Here's hoping AG doesn't arrive for you

fedupofrainydays Tue 18-Jun-13 09:35:47

* AF rather, not AG!

alyant79 Tue 18-Jun-13 11:56:34

Thanks guys, i'm still teetering on the edge.
have gone through the pros and cons with DH and he thinks i should poas tomorrow since he'll be away thu/fri so better to get a bad result now while he's still home to give me a hug. Valid point.
But i'm super busy at work today (as you can tell by my complete absence from here wink) so it all hangs on whether or not I get time to go to Boots....

hehe loving fedup hiding the evidence of rampant POASing from DH

alyant79 Tue 18-Jun-13 14:03:16

damn. bit of spotting.
lucky i haven't bought a pee stick

Emki Tue 18-Jun-13 15:02:29

Hello ladies - so I was supposed to be going away for the night with DH tonight, train and hotel booked - however he is now not going to be there and be at home instead! So much for a naughty and decadent night away!

Luckily had positive for OV on saturday, so we have dtd every day since - should I fit in one more tonight???? Eek, will try! And now begins the 2 WW.

aly still keeping fingers crossed!
Hello newbies - sorry you're here!

I agree with above about POAS early - I've done it so many times and totally messes your head up - I don't like having hope, or thinking there is still a possibility! When are you due Aly?

Why is it that before my 2 mcs I fell pregnant so easily and now all I can think is that it will never happen again - and I don't know how to get pregnant - even though I've been pregnant 3 times! I'm now stressed that because we've been DTD in the morning, I haven't stayed horizontal for long enough after the deed .... read somewhere that you should stay horizontal (or legs up in the air) for 20 mins after - agghhh - instead I've got up and got on with day .... seriously I'm driving myself bonkers!!!

flohs Tue 18-Jun-13 15:52:23

Aly - irritating on the spotting front but it's not over till she arrives properly!

Sundance - I do keep trying to think that about getting pregnant too soon.
You are so right. Everything happens for a reason....

Emki - there are so many things you should and shouldn't do! It gets v confusing. But people have got pregnant without sticking their legs over their head, so I'm sure you are fine.

Fed up - even though I'm a reformed POAS obsessive (sort of) I always had to hide evidence. He once caught me smashing open a cb digital to see what it looked like on the inside after i had a 'not pregnant' he looked totally baffled by his insane wife!

My spotting turned into proper AF overnight. Relieved really. Think I dealt with not being up duff on Saturday and just wanted to get on the next cycle.

GuffSmuggler Tue 18-Jun-13 15:55:11

Oh no alyant but keep positive it's not over until AF turns up properly.

What a shame emki but I think I might have gone for the night in the hotel anyway for a bit of me time! Sounds like you've put in a good DTD effort, not sure I'd bother tonight, an egg can't live that long can it??

I'm getting horrendously stressed, we have got some house buying issues and combined with being in the 2WW just feels like a big pressure cooker. Desperately trying to keep calm and RELAX....

GuffSmuggler Tue 18-Jun-13 15:57:01

xpost flohs I too have hidden tests from DH! I like the idea of smashing up the test if you get a BFN!!! grin

HoobleDooble Tue 18-Jun-13 17:33:07

Made a big decision yesterday, got so low when AF appeared last week that I feel I need a break from TTC. Been trying for 3 years now with just a MC at the end of 2011 and the reality of a 40th birthday to show for it.

I have a holiday coming up which I don't want AF making an appearance on, so have dug out the last, illicit pack of my combined pills, am going to take the last few months I have of them, take the pressure off as, if I know in advance I won't be expecting a BFP, there's none of the disappointment.

Hope my rambling makes sense, good luck to everyone on here, and I'll be back, in a more positive frame of mind, in a few months time.

Misspositivity Tue 18-Jun-13 18:57:19

Hi flohs. Sorry your here but from your posts you will fit in nicely. Loving the endless poas and hiding them from DH

We are all a little mad here that's what our experiences have done to us.

Well still spotting (only when wipe) sometime nothing. AF was due today do any minute now. Felt like throwing the towel in today. Have decided a dec deadline if not pregnant then I am going to enjoy my life with DP and DD as it is. Feel better for a deadline.

alyant. Big poo to spotting had high hopes for you this month. Maybe implantation.

Good work emki you might as well fit another one in if you can manage it

hooble enjoy your holiday and time out. See you back here when you feel is right time. It's a rollercoaster that we all need time off every now and again.

Hope everyone else doing well.

Penguinita Tue 18-Jun-13 19:28:43

Welcome fedup, I hope that the rules here can save you a bit of money on sticks! And that you can follow them, I'm going to have to do another trip to the fishmongers to stock up at this rate <looks pointedly at the naughty rule breakers> grin

Don't give in to the urge aly! Be strong! not that I would be able to resist

Sorry to hear that you are leaving us for a while hooble but it sounds like the right decision, hope you can relax on holiday without the TTC stress.

flohs, I love the idea of smashing up a cb digital, now you have got me curious - what was inside it?

A bit of crap news for me today, I went for what I hoped was my final blood test and my hormone levels were 14. Previously they said they wanted them to be below 20, but today they said they really want them to be below 10. So i have to go back for another sodding test next week.

I just want a BFN so we can start trying again. I had planned to celebrate tonight with a bottle of champagne and and our first proper DTD session since the MC. Guess it will have to go on ice for another week. sad

But I've decided to poas on Friday. If that is negative, I reckon we might just go for it anyway!

Misspositivity Tue 18-Jun-13 19:45:37

fedup sorry called you Flohs got confused. Welcome.

alyant79 Tue 18-Jun-13 19:59:53

what?!? penguin that's outrageous they can't just change the rules of the game on you like that. Boo to them! I would poas friday if i were you too and fx for a bfn.

maybe implantation missp for you and me? but i'm not getting my hopes up. They were foolishly high all morning and I was SOOO nervous every time I went to the toilet that it was ridiculous. Now that I had that little bit of spotting ironically i feel much more sensible. If it is AF there's nothing i can do about it (and i will order a bbt and ov sticks immediately) and if i keep spotting then i'll POAS on friday.
I had really really hoped to be pg this month, but as my DH said it takes time to make a perfect baby, you can't just expect to pop out perfection immediately. This was nice of him to say except that we popped DD out immediately so does that mean she's not perfect??? hmm

oh emki i know exactly how you feel. I too have that "never again" fear.

guff i hope the house buying/selling goes as smoothly as possible, you don't need more stress right now.

hooble good luck relaxing over the next few months it sounds like you need it. Hopefully i won't be here when you're back but chances are i will be.....

Misspositivity Tue 18-Jun-13 20:19:15

alyant AF has arrived here still fingers crossed for you. That was lovely of DH. Bless him. And of course your DD is perfect its just she has set the bar so high. Xx

I had a very giggly toddler at bed time tonight that made everything ok.

Emki Tue 18-Jun-13 23:35:49

Aly still keeping fingers crossed for you

Boo to AF for missp

Really am not going to manage DTD tonight, got in very late from wk - far too shattered and well not really any point ... apart from the fact I will be lying down (asleep) for hours after DTD.

Aly your DH knows just what to say - how lovely - we must all remember this!!! This will be my mantra - as well as eating truck loads of pineapple, applying conceive plus, putting legs in the air - following DH around the country when it time to DTD ..... what else...?? Ooh haven't tried the BBT or CBFM ....

So 2 ww wait for me now -got to not think about it!!! Also on the 28th June will be a whole year since I mc - went in for 20 wk scan and no heart beat - can't believe its been a year already. The day may be marked with arrival of AF ..... that would be really rubbish - but I will definitely do something to mark the day - maybe donate to a children's charity - Anyway - wishing you all a happy Wednesday.

GuffSmuggler Wed 19-Jun-13 13:16:38

That is rubbish Penguinita sorry it's taking so long for you. I would keep POAS until you get a BFN and then you can start! Sounds like they are just being overly cautious.

missp sorry the evil witch has got you sad

emki that is going to be a hard anniversary coming up for you, I'm sure it still feels so raw. Hopefully a BFP will come for you otherwise marking it in some other way would be nice.

Nothing much going on here, trying to get on with life like a normal person and not obsess over whether I might be PG or not.... (and failing!)

alyant79 Wed 19-Jun-13 13:30:12

I caved in and went a bought a first response test. sat in the toilets in the shops and did it...
BFN of course sad
i even waited for 10 min and squinted and squinted at it but i couldn't even begin to pretend to myself that there was a line there.

FISH SLAPS PLEASE!!!

Since I am now officially 1/2 days late it's not just a false negative from testing too early.
AF can hurry up now please so that I can get on with the next go.

alyant79 Wed 19-Jun-13 13:30:40

that's 1 or 2 days late, not half a day

alyant79 Wed 19-Jun-13 13:32:24

flohs and missP i'm sorry that your AFs turned up. Do we have anyone left for fertile friday or are we all out?

GuffSmuggler Wed 19-Jun-13 13:55:09

Oh alyant RUBBISH RUBBISH RUBBISH!

There is nothing worse than getting all excited to POAS and have that massive deflation when no line appears. I'm so sorry, it's all crap sad

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 14:22:24

{{hugs}} and a <<slap>> for Aly.I hate the end of the cycle. sad

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 14:50:14

Oh crap Aly I'm so sorry AF arrived! Really thought this would be your month! HUGE HUGS to you! Here's to April babies .... xxxxx

Fish slap coming your way xxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 14:56:26

Ive just told DP off. I was being mean. sad He rang me from work to tell me that one of the office girls had brought her baby in to show everyone. I really think that he was trying to be nice and affirm that he is onboard with TTC, and I bit his head off. I feel really shit now. sad

Hi everyone. Nice to see you all and I hope you're getting on well.
I thought I would just pop in because I was missing you all after having some time off MN

Not much news with me - I'm in the middle of AF now and feeling pretty crap. I did have a thyroid blood test the other day though, and my TSH levels are now a very healthy 1.52 so I should be pleased about that at least!

I will go and catch up on all the news now and see you later, take care all and Aly I'm sorry for that bfn x

alyant79 Wed 19-Jun-13 16:03:58

I allowed myself for a tiny second think that it might be my month too. Foolish.
Have told myself that it's a good thing - I'm off to latitude festival next month and it will be much better if i'm not throwing up all over the place

hi thunder! that's great great great news about your thyroid levels.

saggy i'm sure your DH understands.

Misspositivity Wed 19-Jun-13 18:26:29

alyant. I am so sorry to hear this. What day after ovulation are you. With my DD I didn't get positive until day 32 of 28 day cycle. If AF still hasn't arrived by fri maybe time to test again. Although of you ate sure don't torture yourself. Big hugs its horrible. I am very Teary at the minute.

Ihave decided today that feb would have been a terrible time to have a new born. Dark mornings dark nights cold much better to have a spring summer baby, don't you think girls (apart from those whe r expecting obviously any time of year is great just trying to cheer myself up)

After a day being sad have just ordered some ovulation sticks (some very cheap preg tests due to my poas addiction) and a basal temp thermometer. I am good to go. sMep for me. Going to try it for a few more months.

Trip to hotel is in my 2ww so at least it will help pass the time.

Is anyone left to test on fri.

flohs Wed 19-Jun-13 18:41:52

Aly so sorry.... It's SO disappointing when you dare to hope. I convinced myself of so many symptoms I even told DH I was sure I was pregnant.
Such a foooooool.

Missp, Feb would be a reallllly rubbish time to have a newborn. You are so right. Thank you for my silver lining. I was struggling to find one this month.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Wed 19-Jun-13 19:02:07

I am now told grapefruit juice is another helpful hint for increasing ewcm.

Sorry to those with AF and BFNs. Rubbish. March/April babies it is!

Nice to see you Thunder - I was missing you.

I'm in w1 of 2ww. Anyone with me? I have no symptoms. Not even something which could be cheerfully misinterpreted as a symptom.

Has anyone else found themselves coping reasonably well after mc but it kicks in a few months down the line? I'm now 4 1/2 months on and have deteriorated mood wise. Think I may have been in the denial stage and have entered grief. It was pos the honeymoon and having tooth time to think.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 19:28:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 19:32:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 19:34:35

thunder so good to hear you - good news about your levels, but sorry you're feeling rubbish! Me too! Grrrr

Camomile I am also in wk1 of 2ww. No symptoms, though convinced by boobs are bigger can't help but have some hope arrghhg!

Eating pineapple at the moment, someone said the ate it for 5 days after OV, so i'm doing it - not sure how much though... think it was bunty if you're lurking let me know!! I do like it, but its getting a bit much now!

I agree missp a March / April baby would be prefect! February is far too grey and cloudy has to be March, can't keep this up much longer

camomile I feel that post mc emotions is something that doesn't get easier with time - its not as raw for me (one Mc last June at 20 wks, and another in February at 8 wks) but at least once week I sink into darkness - feel so sad, depressed - and there is constantly this cloud over me, even when I'm having a nice time with friends/family. I guess of us the only thing that will fix it is to have a viable pregnancy!!! So we know we can get pregnant and the next ones will be sticky beans they just have to be- xxxxx

CamomileHoneyVanilla Wed 19-Jun-13 19:49:17

Reassuring to know I'm not alone. Kat and Emki - your posts could've been written by me. Hugs. X

Love the concept of project desperate. Next thread title perhaps. Definitely where I am anyway. My understanding from too much obsessing is this: grapefruit juice and evening primrose oil helps with ewcm. Pineapple for five days after ov allegedly helps implantation (fresh I'm afraid Kat - I think it's the core in particular). I don't know of any of this has any basis in reality but it helps me feel more in control.

Hello my friends <waves to all>

I totally understand the desperation feelings too. I lost my only pg at 12 weeks and I think now, 7 months later it just doesn't seem like it will ever happen any more. Then at other times I'm full of positivity and imagining symptoms all over the place. This happened before af came last week, even DP said he thought I was pg. so crushing when you realise it's not true.

So are you guys still doing the Friday rules? Glancing back thread it seems they're still there but not always heeded?!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 20:03:27

Camomile, totally. Im 5 months down the line, and I am still all over the place. I feel like there was this other me, who was happy all the time not true but that's how it feels and now there is miserable shitty me, who sinks to the depths of despair at the drop of a hat. And it doesn't help that TTC has become this horrible chore that I HAVE to do and pray that it happens and the outcome is positive.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 20:10:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 20:17:49

How about "stop trying" hmm apparently you always get PG when you stop trying! confused

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 20:39:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 20:40:51

ha ha! Yes, just what my mum says - and 'RELAX' it'll happen ... however it does seem to be true .. how can we fool ourselves into thinking that we're not trying ....??

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 20:42:25

Lol! Unless you are 14 and MNing from the sofa opposite, then definitely not! grin
Ive heard this A LOT! Id love to know how to actually stop thinking about it for one single minute of one day! confused

alyant79 Wed 19-Jun-13 20:43:29

sat down at the computer all teary only to find that i'm not alone.
Like you guys i'm still finding it very horrible 4 months down the track. I was devastated immediately for a couple of months, then perked up a bit for a month or so (convinced that in no time at all i would be pg again) and now that i'm not i'm all miserable again.

thunder you've sprung me! I really really was going to wait until friday but i was weak-willed sad

right, i'm off to amazon to order my bbt and ov sticks and pineapple

fedupofrainydays Wed 19-Jun-13 20:46:51

Ha ha saggy, or maybe "just relax". Impossible.

camomile I am with you. Was pretty sure I would get pregnant soon after miscarriage - probably believing the 'you are really fertile after miscarriage' guff. Now 4 months down the line and am not, it's pretty hard to stay positive every month.

I too have told my DH on more than one occasion 'I'm pregnant' which is swiftly followed by the arrival of af. Feel a right idiot.

Has anyone tried reflexology? Was the latest I was thinking about?! Count me in on project desperate. Clearly need it. I would add talking to your mum about it. Somewhat embarrassing when you mum starts telling you when to have sex. Speaking from experience!

Plus - if I had joined this thread earlier I would STINK of fish.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 20:55:03

<<squeezes ALYs shoulder>>
None of us are alone. We have each other.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 20:55:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 20:56:55

Can I join in. I'm so effing fed up with TTC. I'm currently popping B6 and starting to look at the prices of progesteronr cream. I'm also staring longingly at pregnant ladies. Every month AF comes on I have to have a half hour sniffle in the loo to grieve for the week I'd just spent convincing myself that we'd fibally managed to get a sister/brother for DD. I have had 2 pregs, 1st successfully but only conceived after a year of trying. 2nd took about a year again and resulted in mmc at 13 weeks. That happened last November. Since then nothing. Bah.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 20:57:16

I cant afford loads of treatments, and refuse to buy a CBFM. My contribution is WellWoman multivitamins. They have evening primrose, loads of folic acid and a good amount of vitamin B6.

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 21:04:05

ps Camomile - that was my experience. I coped weirdly well with my mc but I've found myself thinking more and more about it now. I'm not a sentimental person but when the due date came and went it hurt.

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 21:04:33

ps Camomile - that was my experience. I coped weirdly well with my mc but I've found myself thinking more and more about it now. I'm not a sentimental person but when the due date came and went it hurt.

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 21:06:33

saggy I have a CBFM you can have if you want. I found the cheapie OPKs from amazon work fine for me though.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 21:15:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alyant79 Wed 19-Jun-13 21:16:08

Hi squiggly! rubbish that you're here, but a friendly welcome anyway.

meant to say earlier that i love the project desperate concept and it someone can remember that in 870 posts time that'd be great.

just ordered my bbt which came with cheapie ov sticks. also got some pre-seed as DH said "in for a penny, in for a pound". He's lucky that i didn't buy a cbfm.

squiggly you're a nicer person than me. i tend to glare at pregnant women from behind their back grin

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 21:16:40

Thank you, that is a lovely offer. I tried the cheapies and they were useless.

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 21:29:58

PM me your address and I'll send it to you. I have a few sticks with it which you can use to reset. Now I have a toddler it's actually not that easy to POAS every morning! I was going to ebay it but don't think I will ever get round to it so I'd be happy for someone else to get it. I conceived DD1 the first month I used it but the second time round it wasn't working so well for me - possibly my hormone levels being different (I am starting to fear that I may be perimenopausal).

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 21:30:57

Thank you.

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 21:31:50

aly I think you're just more honest than me!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 21:40:25

Not at all Kat. If I could I would too! grin
I think we should add project desperate to the thread opener, next to lets the rules.
So come on, lets compile the list...

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 21:43:27

Project Desperate
SMEP meets CBFM
meets acupuncture
meets chinese medicine
meets chinese massage
meets reflexology
meets fertility nutritionist
meets grapefruit
meets evening primrose
meets pineapple core
Meets vitamin B6
anything Ive missed?

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 21:46:18

I stare at them grin then stare at random women's tummies or other mums at nursery tummies to see whether they are pregnant. The other day I was convinced two women at work were pregnant ... had to ask a trusted colleague (who is well aware of my neurosis) to find out if its true -she said no!

Like you saggy I was a pretty happy person, always felt things would be fine, now Im just a grump sad - good luck with CBFM.

I'll join projectdesperate - definitely do acupuncture next month, very expensive, but will cut back on other stuff... also gives me an opportunity to lie down for an hour!

{{{waves}}}}} to squiggly

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 21:47:41

conceive plus or preseed??

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 21:48:04

oh and legs in the air after DTD

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 21:48:57

I do that too Emki. I stand on a market stall so have have hours and hours and hours to decide whether people are PG or not! And certain places I work there are PG women and prams EVERYWHERE!! sad

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 21:57:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 21:57:20

Project Desperate
SMEP meets CBFM
meets acupuncture
meets chinese medicine
meets chinese massage
meets reflexology
meets fertility nutritionist
meets grapefruit
meets evening primrose
meets pineapple core
Meets vitamin B6
meets Agnus Castus
meets Preesees/conceive plus
meets legs in the air after DTD...

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 21:57:23

saggy I saw lots today - it was very warm, so people are showing off their bumps -

I am happy for them grin just wish it was MEEEEEE!!!

I worry sometimes about myself, as all I want to be is in my house so I don't have to see things - self preservation .... not sure how healthy that is! Luckily I have to go out to work every day and have DD to entertain, but always so happy when I open my front door and can just rest at home, knowing I won't have to put on a brave face and can just be xxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 21:58:51

Project Desperate?
SMEP meets CBFM
meets acupuncture
meets chinese medicine
meets chinese massage
meets reflexology
meets fertility nutritionist
meets grapefruit
meets evening primrose
meets pineapple core
Meets vitamin B6
meets Agnus Castus
meets Preesees/conceive plus
meets legs in the air after DTD
meets temping...

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 21:59:20

Agnus Castus!!! A friend told me about this when I was ttc DD, never got round to using it, as she was such an easy conception and pregnancy ... is anyone using it????

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 22:00:58

Ive taken the hiding at home further. My car has been sitting on the drive, SORNed since February. I live miles from anywhere so I can happily hide! Its in for its MOT now. Ive decided that enough is enough.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 22:02:04

Ive heard of it, but I think its pretty hard core. You should speak to the doctor before hand, and I think you need to keep it up after you conceive.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:05:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 22:05:51

blush I may have gone to a fertility hypnotherapist on recommendation from acupuncturist. Hideously expensive but I loved the firat session. The second session she accidently opened up alot of feelings about my awful childhood and I spent the whole day in a real funk. I got preg the next month during one of the most stessful months of my life (exchanging and completing on houses) which just goes to show the "just relax" schtick is just baloney - but I just can't bring self to go back.

Floweroct Wed 19-Jun-13 22:07:22

I need help please stop me from poas! I'm only 6dpo have felt sick for the past couple of days so that obviously means I'm pregnant right!! It's only going to end in tears!

Up for projectdesperate next month.

Agree with everything that's been said re it not getting easier, given it took a year to get pregnant in the first place I knew it wouldn't happen quickly but hoped it would have happened before due date which is now only 2 weeks away this is my last chance.

Floweroct Wed 19-Jun-13 22:11:53

I got pregnant using agnus castus, I had really irregular periods and rarely ovd. The first time I took it I ovd on cd14 and got my bfp. You only take it up to ov then stop taking it. Not sure of its benefit if you are already regular.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:12:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 22:15:03

hold off flower no point POAS this early - I am the same as you, i'm 5DPO - its gotta be too early!!

I also thought it would happen quickly - 'you're really fertile after mc' yeah right!!!! Bloody miserable you mean and bitter and twisted and MAD!!

Set yourself a project flower i've just organised some photos to get printed which I've wanted to do for ages! Also just finished a good book which had me gripped - a douglous Kennedy, easy read, not high brow but good all consuming stories - DONT' DO IT!! If you REALLY have to, then wait till Friday, you might have changed your mind ...

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:16:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 22:16:44

and you'll stink of fish!

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:17:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 22:20:49

*
SMEP meets CBFM
meets acupuncture
meets chinese medicine
meets chinese massage
meets fertility hypnotherapy
meets reflexology
meets fertility nutritionist
meets grapefruit
meets evening primrose
meets pineapple core
Meets vitamin B6
meets Agnus Castus
meets Preesees/conceive plus
meets legs in the air after DTD
meets temping...

Sal1977 Wed 19-Jun-13 22:22:30

Hi hi hi...mrs G in da house!!

Back from a boozy snoozy minimoon and trying to catch up with all the gossip!

Please add 'meets syringe' to the desperado list.

Emki get yourself a fresh pineapple, peel it, cut it into 5 'slices' and eat a slice a day (including the core).

AF due on Saturday and pretty sure she'll come a knocking after having the flu during OV even if we did manage 9 days in a row. There's always a bit of hope though I guess?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 22:22:57

There is nothing wrong with smelling of fish! I used to work on Tesco's fish counter. The butcher christened me Kipper Knickers! grin
Flower step AWAY from the pee stick!
When you make it to Friday next week, then AF will be late and there will be a really big chance for a BFP!

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:25:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 22:25:35

Project Desperate?
SMEP meets CBFM
meets acupuncture
meets chinese medicine
meets chinese massage
meets reflexology
meets fertility nutritionist
meets fertility hypnotherapist
meets grapefruit
meets evening primrose
meets pineapple core
Meets vitamin B6
meets Agnus Castus
meets 'the syringe method'
meets Preesees/conceive plus
meets legs in the air after DTD
meets temping...

Squigglypig Wed 19-Jun-13 22:26:39

Well if I'd known that video existes I'd have saved a few quid. My lady was very nice and the first session was really amazing - brought back the feeling I had when I first held DD1. But she didn't do the thing with the hands though. Or stare at me (did anything more happen after 5 seconds in, I had to switch it off).

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:30:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 22:30:11

OMFG Kat That is freaky as shit! <<shudders>>

Emki Wed 19-Jun-13 22:31:23

sal ooh just one slice! I've been eating about 1/2 a pineapple a day! Oh well - next month I'll do it properly

how could we forget the syringe method'!! CRAZY

If this works I'm going to have to think of a cunning way to get DH on board!

What about ...dashing home at lunch to dtd when DH working from home / or following DH around the country when OV due (and then he cancels trip and i'm still at home and less cash as didn't cancel in time.)

I'm off to bed now .... thank you ladies - DH away and this has been such an entertaining and nourishing and comforting evening xxxxxx

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:34:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kat am chuckling at that video! Has he got creepily long thumbnails? Phhhbbbb

Hey saggy or should that be kipper knickers?! <waves and offers jelly snakes> you alright duck? Did I see a beautiful little foal was born recently? How are they getting on? He/she looks absolutely beautiful.

I have now caught up on sal's new syringey special friend. That is absolutely amazing. If you don't get a bfp with that effort then I'm giving up!

emki impressive pineapple munching!

Floweroct Wed 19-Jun-13 22:40:26

Thanks all I am crazy but I don't want to smell of fish!! That video was freaky I lasted 30 seconds and nothing really changed.

Must sleep now but ill probably have nightmares of the man and his hands!

BirdsDoIt Wed 19-Jun-13 22:41:13

Ha ha, loving project desperate! You ladies are psychic - seriously, I was googling all these things last night and making myself a little list. How sad am I? One thing to add - apparently to increase quality/quantity of cm, drink lots of water. Disappointingly uncomplicated but it's on my list because I all too often get to the end of the day thirsty...

This month I am temping and we're sort of SMEP-ing but don't think I've ov'd yet (and on cd 29!!) so DTD energy is fading somewhat. Have convinced myself it's not happening this cycle anyway, beginning to feel like roll on AF so we can try again from the beginning! Next cycle I'm on the grapefruit juice, conceive plus, and poss cbfm as well as temping. And maybe acupuncture as well if it's not too horrendously expensive...kat I'm in London too- any good recommendations for acupuncture / reflexology? Went to neals yard for reflexology session which was amazingly but hideously pricey - not sure I can justify that again!

Also any views on what's better, conceive plus or preseed? Dr Google has differing opinions... And does anyone bother with the applicator thingies for conceive plus?

But MUCH more importantly sal how was your wedding?? And mini moon? Hope you had a really fab time!!

BirdsDoIt Wed 19-Jun-13 22:43:49

Ps looking forward to checking out the video when I get home!

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:51:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sundance2007 Wed 19-Jun-13 22:52:45

Alyant - Really sorry to hear your news, that bloody AF, needs a bitch slap. At least you've got something to look forward to next month at Latitude so hopefully that will be a welcome distraction. It's not wrong to be hopeful, but I know how upsetting it is when you find yourself back at square one. Big hugs.

MissP - totally agree with you on the timing thing - hopefully we'll have some springtime babies instead!

Hi Squiggly, really sorry that you're here but welcome, we're a nice (if not sometimes slightly desperate/crazy bunch).

Emki - I have 8 pregnant friends now! Clearly there's some sort of chair I should be sitting on or drinking from some tap but being over exposed to pregnant people has only made it harder to cope. Not all of them know about my MC so I have t politely sit there talking about birth plans, names, scans etc, knowing that I would have been due before them. It's so hard.

Randomly, the legs in the air thing...does anyone else struggle with this?? our mattress is really hard so I don't squish into in and when I tried the legs in the air thing, I nearly fell off the bed, and then nearly did a backwards roll! I'm not as flexible as I should be clearly.

Also, there is one thing we can claim girls, we might not be preggers, we might not have kids to coo and plan for, we might not be ready to shop for prams and baby clothes yet....but I bet we can boast we have more sex than the other members of MN!! smile Whether for pleasure or just TTC, at least we can take that trophy home!
That is all.

katatonic Wed 19-Jun-13 22:53:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 19-Jun-13 23:41:16

Its not my advice! Im stressed to the gills! grin
Thunder hellooo! Yes there was a foal. He who was a she for the first 4 hours blush is doing great!
Its great to heat that your thyroid levels are down where you want them.

JBrd Thu 20-Jun-13 00:12:28

Can I ask what's with the pineapple for ttc? Surely not the same tale when they say it starts labour?!

saggy my mind is boggling at that one a bit! Did they just take a while to drop down or something?

sun I'm afraid I know that I don't have more sex than anyone else on mn! I know there are folks that happily have sex everyday when me n DP struggle to get enough in just during shagweek. Not good I know.

alyant79 Thu 20-Jun-13 09:19:48

oh my, obviously i went to bed far too early last night and missed all the fun!
I'm not going to check out that video - can't at work and DH is away tonight and tomorrow night. I'll be freaked out enough as is. Just the description of it.....

sal welcome back from your minimoon. I hope it was fab.

Feeling stupid for POAS early now that AF has started. Could have saved myself the money plus i smell fishy and that's gross - but I have to admit that every period I harbour secret "maybe it's just an implantation bleed" thoughts. At least I know it isn't that.

I would LOVE to just relax and let it happen. If we don't get pg this month I think I will try and chill out about it all. no i won't, i'll join project desperate with even more vigour

Sundance2007 Thu 20-Jun-13 10:10:23

Aly - I'm the same. I'm worried I'm getting a bit too obsessive over it and wonder whether it's time to just ease off a bit.

Just entered the 2ww phase - if I get pg, yay, if not, at least I can drink on my hollibobs and I'll be OV then too - I'm not taking any kind of sticks with me so maybe the more relaxed approach will work.

That's the weirdest video ever - he doesn't blink for ages!

What's Agnus Castus? Am I missing out on something amazing here?

plokett1 Thu 20-Jun-13 10:40:24

Hi all!
My first time posting but have found this thread really helpful....I know I'm now not going insane! haha! maybe a little!

I had a mmc last September at 12 +6 which was horrendously horrible and hard to deal with as we had no clue until about 2 days before our scan!
I then spent months obsessing over ov day etc and ttc...felt like I just had to be pg especially as my sister was caught pg at the same time and all was ok for her....was obv over the moon for her but just painful for us!

We than got caught with pg #2 6 mths later in march of this year but unfortunately had a complete mc at beginning of may at 9 weeks, but managed to cope much better 2nd time around!

I've had my 1st cycle which was at 34 days, quite long for me but not unexpected! I've been feeling relatively positive and not obsessing over dates etc....until now!

Please help as I keep getting conflicting options saying I should let my body rest etc etc....I really want to just go full steam ahead and enjoy but am obv very scared about this happening a 3rd time! I've managed to cope with 2 already but just don't think I could cope with a 3rd!
Just need to know there is light at the end of the tunnel! xx

alyant79 Thu 20-Jun-13 10:47:15

grin sundance i just read about you falling off the bed with your legs in the air after dtd. hahaha.
sorry no advice from here. i obviously haven't been putting my legs up high enough. Will try harder next time and see if i fall off the bed too.

agnus castus is some sort of herbal supplement. I think it helps to bring on AF or ovulation or something like that.

thunder we struggled in shag week too. I think in the end we had 5 goes over 7 days which was, frankly, almost more than we've managed in the (almost) 2 years since DD was born (OK that is an exaggeration but considering that she was in our bed for more than a year, and then soon after she moved into her own room i got pg you can see how it's not THAT much of an exaggeration)

alyant79 Thu 20-Jun-13 11:03:11

hi plokett sorry to hear about your 2 mcs sad, but welcome to the crazy club!
i think you should probably do what feels right for you. I'm sure your body will be fine and if it's not ready to get pg again then it won't. More importantly you should do what's right for you mentally. If you're ready to go at ttc again full steam ahead then go for it, if not perhaps take it easy for a cycle or two.
I'm sure your body will be absolutely fine and if you did get pg again straight away I very much doubt that would be the cause of a 3rd mc.

plokett1 Thu 20-Jun-13 11:39:53

Hi alyant79
Thanks for your reply! The crazy club sounds fun! haha! plus it's always nice to know that there are others that can help!
I guess as you say everyone is different so it's just whats best for you!
I'm gona ignore all the haters and just do whats best for us...sick of people saying we shouldn't do certain things! if my body isn't ready then it wont happen!

Thanks again and look forward to all the craziness! haha!

Emki Thu 20-Jun-13 12:17:19

plockett welcome - sorry you are here - hope you find we can help - I have the ladies here fantastic xxx

So.... Is being really sad, then really angry, then really sad again a symptom of being pregnant? If so this must be my month!!!! Ggrrrrr - had a thought this morning that if I'm not up the duff by the summer I'm going to resign - job is stressful enough without all the emotional turmoil - dh won't allow it as we can't afford it... But argh !!!! Have to find a way!!!

When I've calmed down later I of course will be more rational xx

Emki Thu 20-Jun-13 12:31:13

Or I have pmt! AF due next fri/sat so could be! X

GuffSmuggler Thu 20-Jun-13 13:06:35

Loving project desperate you bunch of crazies. And not I will NOT be watching that video, I get spooked very easily!!!

As for the 'just relax it will happen at the right time', if ONE more person says this to me I will scream. I don't think anyone can understand the all consuming desperate NEED to get PG after a MC if you haven't been there.

Also as others have said, last time I got PG I was in a mega stressful job, so clearly relaxing has bugger all to do with it.

Constantly thinking I should POAS but have got some will power for now. I won't tomorrow as it's too early so hope you can all therefore give me a free pass to POAS next week (please please please).

GuffSmuggler Thu 20-Jun-13 13:08:04

Oh and I have one symtom - heightened sense of smell! It must be, surely.... confused

Emki could well be a symtom for you, fingers crossed!

Emki Thu 20-Jun-13 13:47:14

guff how many days past OV are you? X

Emki Thu 20-Jun-13 13:52:10

guff also sounds like a very promising symptom - fingers crossed!

GuffSmuggler Thu 20-Jun-13 13:56:07

10 days PO <and climbing the walls>

dildoos Thu 20-Jun-13 13:57:13

Good afternoon ladies, may I join you in this bfps all the way thread. Have had 3 mcs and ttc for 2 years and need to up the game xx

Emki Thu 20-Jun-13 14:07:33

Oh dildoos you have been through a really terrible time! Hope you find some support here-

guff ahhhh! Fingers crossed!! Hieghtened sense of Smell is definitely very promising!!

Emki Thu 20-Jun-13 14:08:59

Heightened - even x

alyant79 Thu 20-Jun-13 14:12:50

hi dildoos is your name suggesting something else we should add to the list of project desperate?? not sure how they'd work but i'm game for anything! wink

eeeek guff could be, could be... I'm in a big fat glass house so can't say no to early POAS next week. Patience is clearly a virtue that i lack.

dildoos Thu 20-Jun-13 17:32:00

Sounds like this thread is already getting lucky! All hail poas!! I love to wee on anything in hope for bfp grin I poas today 4 days early and of course got a bfn with a tescos test!
Am afraid dildoos is what I call my daughter lol she is a Delila grin ( plain white t's not Tom jones smile)
However if the other got me a bfp I would but I would also walk around with male dirty pants onmy head if that worked too so you know pretty desperate!!grin
However 4 days to go sis I law pregnant, best friend pregnant and I am holding onto the hope that the period pains are all in my head hmm!
Xxx

Rockchick1984 Thu 20-Jun-13 18:13:33

Hi ladies - apologies in advance for mememe post! I POAS this morning (fish slaps accepted) and there may have been the tiniest faintest hint of a line... However I'm not convinced that its not in my imagination or an evap line as its way too early (10DPO) and it was a cheapy test from Home Bargains!! It was too faint even to get on a photo, so will just have to test over the next few days and see what happens...

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 20-Jun-13 18:15:27

Welcome newbies. Dildoos may I direct you to the thread rules? grin POAS only allowed on a Friday! <<waffles finger>>
Unless you want slapping with a fish! grin
Thunder am I confusing you with someone else re thyroid? Was there someone else on the thread who's levels were really high and might take some time to come down to acceptable levels? confused

dildoos Thu 20-Jun-13 18:22:28

Whoops sorry for the poas , I now have to wait for 8 days as cannot possibly tomorrow after today wink I will wait til next Friday and take it as punishment ! X

Sundance2007 Thu 20-Jun-13 18:26:21

It's like Buckaroo this for sometimes...I'm nervous but excited for everyone - who will POAS first!! Haha. Hope we get some good news, think it's deserved after a low week we all seemed to have last week.

Aly - see if you can go for the backwards roll too. I was naked which was even more embarrassing, maybe I'll just raise my hips next time! smile

Hello newbies, sorry you find yourselves here but welcome, pull up a chair, we have arms open and plenty of experience between us.

dildoos Thu 20-Jun-13 18:54:45

Thank you sun xx

Eh oop

Welcome dil

Fingers crossed rock <flings trout>

saggy yes that is me. After mc they found my thyroid had stopped working and in march tsh was nearly 15. It's down to 1.5 one (ideal for pregnancy is 0.5-2) so it looks good for me. Shame that I really have lost hope in my heart of it ever happening for me!

Hi plock, really sorry to hear of your losses too. I reckon if your heart wants to go for it with ttc you should just jump in and do it.

alyant79 Thu 20-Jun-13 20:08:14

Ooooh ooooh ooooh rock that's super exciting!

TeaAndANatter Thu 20-Jun-13 20:09:01

Signing up to the crazy club, thanks. Have read the previous pages, and feel armed and ready for project desperate! Fully willing to test only on Fridays (this is a totally fab rule, and may be the only thing that keeps me sane over the next weeks, pleaseohplease months!)

Had a very early mmc which started to get a shift on not quite two weeks ago (6+2ish), but feeling keen to get pregnant again asap. Hoping to get pregnant before I go back to feeling totally bereft again (not sure how the mood will go if this is a long endeavour).

Hello to everyone on the thread, and sorry for your own experiences which led you here.

GuffSmuggler Thu 20-Jun-13 21:13:22

Oooo rock have you got POAS eyeball yet from staring at the test?? Keep testing <forget the rules we all need to know> It will also stop me for POAS if I can focus on you grin

Welcome tea - is a crap club to join but we keep each other insane

GuffSmuggler Thu 20-Jun-13 21:14:13

PS welcome dildo(!?) as well

alyant79 Thu 20-Jun-13 21:31:18

Hi tea! Very sorry that you're here. But great positivity smile

I'm still feeling a bit down but my dh (who is away for 2 nights) sent me flowers! Hooray!

Sal1977 Thu 20-Jun-13 21:43:43

On the subject of dildos.......

Part of 'project syringe' included sorting oneself out after goods had been deposited. An encouraging 'how you getting on in there lovely' from ones OH, from the other room, is a touching reminder of how it really is a team effort even if you are taking part separately.

grin

<snigger> sal grin

alyant79 Thu 20-Jun-13 21:59:27

Bahaha grin

dildoos Thu 20-Jun-13 22:15:06

I cried but this time in hysterics! I believe I found my thread , sadly I need a new pet name for dd or I will laugh hysterically at her xxgrin

Penguinita Thu 20-Jun-13 23:40:04

Wow, what a lot of posts in the last two days! You girls have been busy!

Time to line those fish up though <flings a sardine at alyant (just a small one due to mean old AF turning up)> <chucks a swordfish at rockchick (but don't eat it as you are hopefully pg!)>

Rather excited about joining the poas gang tomorrow. Anyone joining me? I'm hoping for a BFN , wish I could swap results with someone who wants the opposite.

alyant79 Fri 21-Jun-13 08:43:51

checking in hoping for good POAS news..... nothing? not even a bfn for penguin??

katatonic Fri 21-Jun-13 08:57:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Penguinita Fri 21-Jun-13 09:00:51

BFN! Hooray!!! grin

Although from my bbt I think I may have already ovulated a couple of days ago. But I don't mind too much, I think DTD for fun without the TTC pressure will be good to ease us back into the swing of things gently! Staying with MIL and FIL tonight, so it is probably off the cards anyway given that our bedroom is right next to theirs! smile

Sal1977 Fri 21-Jun-13 09:04:04

Well AF is due here tomorrow and no symptoms either way yet here, not sure how to take that!

But, I am going to put it out there and rigidly stick to the rules and not test until the Friday after AF is due...so next week!! Gulp. If by some miracle it is a BFP, that'll be another week gone by already!

Good luck today POAS'ers! Xx

GuffSmuggler Fri 21-Jun-13 09:36:10

sal you could POAS stick today...? <bad influence>

Come on thread, we needs some BFPs!!!

GuffSmuggler Fri 21-Jun-13 09:36:53

Ps well done penguinita you can get to it with gusto now grin Well perhaps after the stay with the in -aws...

Morning all

Just emptied a bin in the study which hardly ever gets used and my old bfp stick was at the bottom of it sad

Not going to be a good day for me sad

Squigglypig Fri 21-Jun-13 10:46:57

Oh Thunder - I hate it when stuff like that happens. Try to forget it, it doesn't mean you're going to have a bad day - it's just a sad reminder of a past hopeful day - you'll have another BFP soon enough. Try putting on some music that you love and jumping up and down a few times, then treat yourself to a brie sandwich washed down with gin.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 21-Jun-13 11:28:37

I received a book today. I enter every mumsnet competition. This is the first one I have ever won! The title?
'The Antenatal Group!' confused

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 21-Jun-13 11:33:14

No BFPs yet? sad

fedupofrainydays Fri 21-Jun-13 11:44:13

Oh saggy, the irony. On the positive side, it does mean people do actually win some things!

Sorry thunder you found that. I've still got the photo on my phone that I sent to DH of my bfp. In a strange way though its comforting as at least you know it's possible to get pregnant - hopefully that's th silver lining?

Af just finished here and still got cramps. Can't work out if ov related or still af. Who blimmin knows. Cd 9.

alyant79 Fri 21-Jun-13 11:44:25

Hooray for penguin! Finally!

boo hiss to thunder and saggy for nasty surprises. Try to put them behind you. I like squiggly's suggestions of brie and gin for lunch, haha.

my bbt should be arriving today but I have to admit I'm feeling ambivalent about it. I kind of want to try the "relax and it will happen" approach. But i'm scared that if we do and don't get pg then i be all upset for not having tried properly confused

sal if you can hold out unti next friday you must have the patience of a saint. I would also poas today <<very bad influence>>.
Although the idea of finding out with one less week of nervousness to get through is appealing.

nearlyreadytopop Fri 21-Jun-13 11:58:12

just checking in to see if there are any bfp todaygrin
sal you really do have patience of a saint!
I requested a different hospital for my antenatal care this time. Very glad I did as I had a phone call yesterday from the epu offering an early scan next week. still very scared and a little in denial so hopefully it will make me feel better.
hope you all have a lovely weekend x

Hi Ladies

I'm going to be joining you again I'm afraid sad Won't be ready to ttc for a while yet, but would like to lurk and could do with some support.

Quick reminder - I got a BFP following a period and have always been negative about this pregnancy although Dr assured me that it appeared to be a viable pregnancy, bloods normal etc.

Well I was 8 weeks on Monday (previously mc at 6 weeks) but Monday evening I had horrendous bladder pain, dizzy, loss of hearing/sight...ended up at out of hours, prescribed anti b's for a 'water infection'. Tuesday I was still in pain, unconvinced...I went to my GP and insisted on a scan. 2.45pm Tues I was scanned...I only came home from hospital last night.

Scan showed no pregnancy in uterine...I knew I was 8 weeks so I knew bad news was coming. It was ectopic, partially ruptured and fluid in my pelvis. I was put on the emergency list and rushed into theatre the same night. I had ruptured beyond repair so had to have my right tube removed along with the 'baby'.

I am beyond heartbroken but also so grateful that it wasn't worse, my hcg levels were over 31000 and only a matter of time before my tube ruptured completely.

I am off work for 3 weeks, currently in bed resting and feeling sorry for myself.

I am now convinced that my 6 week mc was also an ectopic in my right tube, as again nothing showed up 'in uterine' on the scan and ectopic was never confirmed or dismissed as I mc naturally. So I must have had a bad tube, if so then I am glad in a way that it has gone - just hope my left one is in good working order.

Sorry for putting a downer on poas-Friday but wanted to share my experience. Should have pushed for an early scan sooner. Always follow your instincts though, mine have been right through out.

Do any of you ladies have any ectopic experiences?

Sorry for essay. Hope everyone is doing okay.

x

Oh no over you poor poor thing. What an awful shitty ordeal. I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit delicate. I hope you're having lots of rest and making yourself as comfortable. Big thanks for you.

fedup it doesn't really reassure me unfortunately as my hypothyroidism was probably triggered by the pg (I didn't have it before) and probably caused the mmc. Therefore I am in a worse position than when we started to ttc over a year ago. Having said that hypothyroidism should be no reason to prevent it happening in the future now it's managed, I've just lost a bit of hope if you know what I mean?

Come on sal! Do it!

fedupofrainydays Fri 21-Jun-13 12:58:38

over that sounds horrific - I'm so sorry to hear that. Big hugs for you and glad you are some how seeing the positive - I.e getting rid of the poss dodgy tube. I know someone that happened too - had one child, then a mc, then an ectopic and her bad tube removed, then another healthy pregnancy and a lovely little boy!

Sorry thunder I didn't know. But like you say, now it's managed it shouldn't prevent a future pregnancy. But totally understand the lack of hope. I struggle with it too.

I decided to dance to the radio at lunch time and looked like a right idiot but felt a lot better afterwards!! I was throwing some pretty half decent shapes around my kitchen. DC was staring at me open mouthed....

Sal1977 Fri 21-Jun-13 13:01:35

That's shit over!! Take time to heal and make sure you're looked after!!

I will not POAS today you lot! DH says I should go old skool and wait til I've missed 3 AF......f*ck that. I'll wait a week.

Squigglypig Fri 21-Jun-13 13:16:24

Oh over, that sounds terrible for you. But as you say, if it was a "bad tube" at least its gone now. You are so right about your instincts. With my first pregnancy I was really excited and got a strong feeling that it would be a little girl from the off, with my second pregnancy I never had that and so the mmc although it was awful and shocking, was also in a very very tiny way a relief as it never felt quite right or real to me.

GuffSmuggler Fri 21-Jun-13 13:56:46

I'm so so sorry over what a horrendous traumatic experience from you sad

I remember your stupid crap Dr saying you didn't need an early scan, well I suggest you change Dr and tell THEM what you need next time. And there will be a next time, there is a reason God gaves us 2 of nearly everything, so that there's a spare if something goes wrong with one of them.

Sorry about finding the stick thunder (also amazed they don't fester and implode after a while..) Hope you have a nice weekend lined up to try and cheer you up. On the theme of 'finding things' I was cleaning out my handbag the other day and found my NHS maternity exemption card sad It does suddenly knock you when something appears to remind you.

We really need some BFPs round here, there must be someone that can POAS!? <glares at Sal>

GuffSmuggler Fri 21-Jun-13 13:57:23

for you

alyant79 Fri 21-Jun-13 14:23:09

oh over how awful for you. I'm glad you're OK (although understandably devastated), but I'm glad that you can see a bit of a silver lining. Plenty of people have children with only one tube and I'm sure that will be you soon too.
I second guff's sentiments about your GP. Get a new one immediately. What a useless piece of shit.

fedup I'm loving the story of you dancing around the kitchen at lunch.

dildoos Fri 21-Jun-13 14:35:42

Over - so sorry to hear your news, I hope you make a speedy recovery physically and mentally . I think you deserve lots of wine, chocolates and flowers!
Here's hoping for some positive news for all xxx

katatonic Fri 21-Jun-13 14:35:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sundance2007 Fri 21-Jun-13 15:45:06

Over - you poor thing, sounds utterly horrendous, I'm so sorry. Big hugs and sending lots of 'get well soon' vibes.

So, no takers on the POAS friday this week? Sal looks like you're in for a nerve wracking wait, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Though it's a little bit exciting too isn't it!

The 2 ww is already doing my head in and it's only been 3 days, I'm going to have to distract myself with something, though brie and gin does sound amazing.

Emki Fri 21-Jun-13 15:54:43

over I was so shocked to read your post, I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and well done for being positive and here's to a speedy but gentle recovery. get yourself a box set / down the garden centre / baking.. what ever floats your boat and ensure you get lots of TLC lots of bunches of flowers to you xxx

I am on 7DPO, keep symptom spotting - grrr!! now have a mild lower back ache I always have this from lifting 3 year old and standing all day but convinced this must mean this is my month!!!

Re - earlier thread about acupuncture - I'm also in London and I've been to a lady in Nottinghill, I hightly recommend her, she is pricey so I haven't been going, but will next month - If anyone wants her details let me know. I also went to her after the ERPC and she was great, settled my hormones and was just good to have some TLC really.

Can't believe there's no POASers today ... guff how you holding out?

Have a feeling there will be lots of us next Friday ....

Also if sal does get a BFP there will be a sudden demand for syringes on amazon!!!!

Anyone got anything nice planned for the weekend?

dildoos Fri 21-Jun-13 16:42:25

I poas hmm got a BFN! Due Sunday so 2 days early? I never know how to count the days before !
Really hoped that my symptoms may have been an indicator, a niggling period type dull ache for past fees days and tender breasts , however no 'twas my mind playing tricks!
<< grabs black cherry bulmers and family bag of wispa bites>> happy Friday ladies I am going to enjoy mine grin xxx

Sal1977 Fri 21-Jun-13 16:46:35

Ha! If I get a BFP, not only will I be gobsmacked, but before I announce it, I'll be buying in a job lot of syringes to flog to you lovely lot!! Hehe

Also, I'll be offering free snogs to pass on the bug that I've had in case that helps lets face it we're all a bit up for trying anything!!

alyant79 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:06:16

oh bugger dildoos

visiting a friend who i haven't seen for almost a year tomorrow, hooray! That's my nice thing for the week.

dildoos Fri 21-Jun-13 17:11:35

Aly- they are the best types of weekend fun ! Enjoy x

Tomkat79 Fri 21-Jun-13 17:37:33

Sending you lots of love over. I always tell people never trust the medics and this just confirms it! I work with loads of people who have UTI's and I've never come across any of them to have all those symptoms!

Lol sal can you imagine waiting for 3 missed periods! Torture.

CD 14 here, have been bonking like mad all week and guess same again tonight. Must find some energy to spice it up! Does leaving the light on count?! ;)

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 21-Jun-13 19:33:45

Over I'm so so sorry my lovely. I wish I could give you a real {{{hug}}}. Hopefully you will recover quickly physically.
My MC was ectopic on an ovary. Thankfully <<hollow laugh>> I had a lucky escape and MC, so kept my tube. In hindsight, the PG just didn't feel right from the start, I was incredibly stressed and worried from the beginning.

MrsExcited Fri 21-Jun-13 19:52:04

Over that sounds really tough, sending lots of hugs.

I haven't been around much lately had started to lose posifrickintivity and gradually stopped reading.

I am tomorrow 13 weeks post ERPC and still have no sign of AF - Grrrr

We have bonked like mad, overdone it, bonked like mad again, had a bugger of a tooth infection and then bonked gently last week, at the same time as having a blood test where i was told that it was clear i was ovulating but she would refer me to gyne to see.

So that was last Thursday (13th) and for the last few days i am feeling something and my DH is believing it, been caught by 3 different people looking "pale" so hopefully POAS'd this morning for a BFN but something inside say don't give up hope but as AF hasn't arrived so far i have no idea when to test!

So Sal i shall join you in your wait, it would be ironic as we were only a few days apart at MC - Good luck

PS - Sal i hope your big day went off with fireworks!! sorry i wasn't around at the time!

Thank you everybody for your kind words thanks

I am currently demolishing a large bar of dairy milk. I feel 'okay' emotionally but waiting for the tears to kick in over the next few days.

All I want to do is try again and get pregnant. Wish I could fast forward a few weeks. But I know I need to rest and recover properly.
x

fedupofrainydays Fri 21-Jun-13 20:42:27

I think you are pretty amazing over. Think i would be a big mess if that happened to me. You're very strong. Def indulge in that chocolate and whatever else you fancy.
It's Friday and I'm on the wine.

dildo (sorry that is your name now!) I am sorry about the bfn but yes it is two days early and it's not over til af arrives (and if you are me and unfortunately af does arrive, you may still POAS for a laugh after AF in case you were one of those in a million who have a period when preggers)

Hang in there mrs excited like you say, you have no idea when af is due. After my erpc I had no idea what was going on it was pretty horrid.

Sal you would be my heroine if you waited even til next Friday, never mind 3 months!!!!!!

Have a good weekend all - this is our one for DTD action. Stocking up on the preseed and the wine. Odd combo but feel I need it!!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 21-Jun-13 21:04:00

dildo (sorry that is your name now!) I am sorry about the bfn but yes it is two days early and it's not over til af arrives (and if you are me and unfortunately af does arrive, you may still POAS for a laugh after AF in case you were one of those in a million who have a period when preggers)
Disgraceful! <<hoiks bosom>> I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that! every month
grin

Emki Fri 21-Jun-13 21:21:30

<<sniggers>>

Emki Fri 21-Jun-13 21:39:15

Ditto I also think you over are amazingly strong - {{{hugs}}} and hope that diary milk is good xxx

dildo fingers crossed for you xx

I'm in the wine too - I've actually let all healthily eating go out the window this last few days ... However shall do exercise tomorrow and from now on!!! I will!! I find it hard when ttc to diet and fear it will effect the process ... However eating chocolate etc probably doesn't help either!!

excited I feel for you it took over 10 weeks for AF to arrive for me after erpc!! It was so frustrating! Xxx

Emki Fri 21-Jun-13 21:40:37

I'm not IN the wine though does sound fun! X

Rockchick1984 Fri 21-Jun-13 21:52:25

Over I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time of it! Just proves that your own instincts can know best - you knew something wasn't right from the start and thankfully it was caught before it went any further thanks

I think I may have a BFP - tested again this morning and slightly less faint second line. Left it out during the day and checked again this evening and is now a fairly strong line - nervous, excited, terrified, unconvinced all at the same time!!

GuffSmuggler Fri 21-Jun-13 22:09:42

Sounds like you're upduffed rock congrats! grin grin grin

BirdsDoIt Fri 21-Jun-13 22:20:12

over I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'm really sad for you. What a horrible experience. As others have said I hope you have a lot of very loving people looking after you and are barricaded in with dairy milk, hot chocolate, box sets and all your favourite films for whenever you need them! Sending you much love and a huge hug.

Haven't been on for a few days but thanks very much for the acupuncture/reflexology tips - I'm in south London so muswell/Notting hill a bit tricky so I think I'll have to venture beyond this thread for some googling! Good idea to look for
traditional places to save some money.

So according to fertility friend / bbt I ovulated 7 days ago but I think it may have been just a few days ago. Hmm. Well, we'll just see when AF turns up. Was wondering if my achey cervix (which just came up on predictive text as 'shy xerox', amusing) was a weirdly early pg symptom but then realised it's prob because of all the DTD! Though I am having some curious twinges - but not letting myself think anything of it. Attempting to view this first cycle of bbt'ing as a trial run before we get into ttc ing properly...

Have just had two very delicious cocktails in town and on my way back home a bit pissed with DH so the weekend has started well smile

fedup love the dancing in the kitchen and sal the bosom hoiking!

BirdsDoIt Fri 21-Jun-13 22:22:15

Woooooh rockchick exciting!!! Congrats! Are you going to poas again in a couple of days to see if it's darker? (Stupid question, yes of course you are, but will you wait till Sunday or do it tmrw?) xx

Emki Fri 21-Jun-13 22:33:17

Great rockchick we needed that - very exciting x take each day as it comes x

birds I also know someone in dulwich who is very good -
Sounds like you had a good night - here's too a lovely weekend for us - I do like Saturday mornings - no rushing!! Though must go for a run and sort myself out!!!! Xx

Emki Fri 21-Jun-13 22:35:18

I mean 'to' a lovely weekend - mning on phone and always make so many mistakes!!! Xx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 21-Jun-13 22:41:05

WOOOHOOO! grin GO ROCKCHICK!

Congrats Rockchick x Sending you lots of good luck thanks

It's so lovely to read all of your kind words, it helps to vent.

x

Squigglypig Fri 21-Jun-13 23:03:57

Rockchick congratulations! That is such great news!

birdsdoit I can vouch for dulwich therapy rooms too. On Lordship Lane - I tried it for 3 cycles and might go back next month (am off on holiday at beginning of July so no point starting this month for me). Plan your first visit for just before ovulation date and be prepared for a lot of intimate questions about your flow.

Night night!

alyant79 Fri 21-Jun-13 23:11:43

rock that's fab news!

Jealous of all the great sounding fri nights. I've been home alone with dd sleeping upstairs. I cut out some fabric to make myself a dress (an attempt to Sod's law myself into getting knocked up) and watched some tv. Patrick swayze in ghost - nice. Party time in chez aly.

alyant79 Fri 21-Jun-13 23:12:59

mrsE I really really hope that af (or a bfp!!) arrives for you soon

BirdsDoIt Fri 21-Jun-13 23:38:37

aly I am ashamed to say I've never watched ghost! It's on my list. (Impressed by your crafting skills too...) Was helping a friend clear out clutter from her flat this week and going through piles of DVDs - dirty dancing, pretty woman, Thelma and Louise, when Harry met Sally...needless to say, none of them got thrown out. Just about managed to stop ourselves from watching them all right there and then.

mrse I really hope your BFP or AF arrives soon too. Fingers crossed for you and sal!

squiggly thanks so much for the recommendation - that's great, will check them out. Funnily enough I'm literally just up the road in forest hill! emki was it the dulwich therapy rooms you were thinking of too? Or someone else?

Happy weekend everyone! X

dildoos Sat 22-Jun-13 06:45:23

Fed up- I quite like my new name grin that makes me loveable and also top trumps most men!
Saggy- hoist away I mean how silly <<tuts and rolls eyes and grabs for another stick>>
Fantastic news rock!!! Congratulations!!!
When talking blue evap lines does that mean they are never there and you are up diffed ( in early days) ? Or do you mean they come as blue line and evap? I am confused.
How was your night over ? How you feeling today? Hope the chic was yummy yummy!
Hello everyone else hope you are all doing well xx

alicebear Sat 22-Jun-13 07:52:36

Still lurking so just wanted to say big congratulations rock fab news. Really hope this one is sticky.

Gd luck sal after those efforts you really deserve a bfp. Glad the wedding went well.

So so sorry over that sounds truly awful.

mrse hurry up AF or even better bfp.

Really sorry AF got you aly hope this is your month.

Hope to see lots more bfps soon. I'll probably lurk for a while. I've bkd an early scan but don't think I'll feel very confident until after 12wks (if I get there).

Morning all,

Fab news rockchick!

Oo all those old girly films- wonderful. I used to love ghost but that one on the train- how scary is he?!

emkiI and *birds good work with the wine and cocktails but going for a run- equally impressed.

aly what kind of dress are you making? Am very tempted to give it a go myself..

Penguinita Sat 22-Jun-13 10:01:24

overanxious, I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through such a traumatic experience. I welled up a bit reading your post. When I was told I had a suspected ectopic I did all the reading up about it and it was very scary. You are so brave. Keep looking after yourself flowers

There is an ectopic pregnancy support thread on here somewhere if you haven't found it already.

I cannot believe that a doctor can see a pregnant woman with those symptoms and not immediately recognise the danger and send her for an emergency scan. They should be struck off, it is a disgrace!

Penguinita Sat 22-Jun-13 10:04:06

Congratulations rockchick! I don't think there is such a thing as a false positive on those sticks so allow yourself a little celebration!

Emki Sat 22-Jun-13 11:33:56

I love those films - and St. Elmo's fire, breakfast club, and what's the one with all the brat pack? Matt Dillon included who was my teenage crush!

Re acupuncture - the woman I know works from home - she may also be a member if the therapy rooms - she is extremely lovely - she also does massage - let me know if you want her details xx

Emki Sat 22-Jun-13 11:39:31

The outsiders it was!!! Just googled! How sad am I? Also aly I am in every night as dh away - last night watched the good wife and coronation street!! Rock and roll!

BirdsDoIt Sat 22-Jun-13 12:35:56

Haven't watched St. Elmo's fire! Will have to track it down on DVD.

emki would love the details of the lady you know in dulwich - I have no idea how to pm you - are you more clued up than me?!

over hope you had a peaceful night and are doing ok xxx

BirdsDoIt Sat 22-Jun-13 12:37:01

Or the outsiders! I need to work on my classic film collection - next rainy weekend that comes along I'm sorted...

Are you Londoners all going to bump into each other at thus woman's house! Next time you go you'll all be eying up the other customers wondering if you actually know them from t'interweb...

Emki Sat 22-Jun-13 15:09:52

birds I've sent you a message (maybe as never done it before) check your inbox on your mumsnet account x

Emki Sat 22-Jun-13 15:11:28

thunder I thought this the other day when I was on the tube ... I thought, you never know one of these ladies might be my support group!

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 22-Jun-13 15:32:51

I can't believe I logged off the other night and missed all the fun. Although I'm sorry to hear others are going through difficult times it is a real comfort to not feel alone in it.

over - I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Idiotic doctor. I hope you're spending the weekend being taken care of.

Sal - did you have a lovely wedding? Sorry if you've already said and I've missed it. Did you have the pregnant friend there in the end? Hope you had a lovely day.

I thought the same about never knowing whether someone from the thread is sitting next to you on the tube etc. I've also tried thinking the same about the graduates thread I.e, not glaring at pregnant women in case it's pink or diet coke or someone else from 'over there'..

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 22-Jun-13 15:33:57

And CONGRATS Rockchick!!!

fedupofrainydays Sat 22-Jun-13 16:10:01

I like the sound of being in the wine emki.

Our DVD collection is pretty shite. High up on the list is "sex lives of the potato men" and other such movie gold dust. I instead sky plus TV greats such as MIC and ANTM for watching when OH is out. Those programmes make him nauseas (if it was me i would be probably symptom spotting!!)

So we have just had an enthusiastic BD sesh. Decided absence of smiley face wasn't holding me back. DH has now pulled something in his neck through sheer exuberance. I have warned him that doesn't mean he is let off for the rest of this weekend, no, no, no!

Tried a more gentle shoulder stand than the usual head stand - don't want to damage my neck now do we?

I too wondered that in the tube. Particularly when one preggers lady was eating orange peel. Yes, not the orange itself, but the peel. She must have been a graduate!

Squigglypig Sat 22-Jun-13 20:03:08

I was wondering that too! I'm also in Forest Hill, I was thinking maybe in a year or so we'll be eyeing up other women in the baby groups. Fingers crossed.

BirdsDoIt Sat 22-Jun-13 21:44:17

fedup I'm not sure I'd ever leave the house if I had sky plus! Am bad enough with boxsets - totally addicted to game of thrones, or as one of my friends calls it, tits and swords. Can't wait for series 3 on DVD!

emki thanks so much for the message - I got it safely - brilliant. Will definitely give her a call. So funny, squiggly, that you're in forest hill too. Can't quite decide if it would be lovely or weird to meet someone from this thread in real life - you lot know more about what's going on in my sex life etc than anyone else bar DH, so from that perspective it's rather odd...but all the same it's very nice to know you're nearby smile

BirdsDoIt Sat 22-Jun-13 21:46:34

cam I agree about curbing pregnant woman rage - I try and remember it might not have been easy for them either. General rage levels are definitely decreasing though I reserve the right for it to come back at any moment.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 22-Jun-13 23:14:22

I don't get the rage. I just get jealousy!

alyant79 Sat 22-Jun-13 23:31:42

So funny, am in forest hill at friends place tonight!

dildoos Sun 23-Jun-13 06:59:10

I feel I am miles away lol , rage? For sure we reserve right to get rage at any moment and jealousy all the time angry
Today I have heartbreak hotel as the evil af arrived making me really poorly !!! Left friends last night as too ill to stay was feeling really sick and downstairs issues sad
Any way enough about me I have everything crossed for the ladies poas Friday smile
X

Rockchick1984 Sun 23-Jun-13 08:58:10

Dildo so sorry the witch got you, hopefully some wine will help a bit - normally does with me!

I feel like the lonely northerner on this thread! Mad how so many of you live so close to each other!

Fedup the occasional times I've tried tipping upside down after dtd I've had my legs supported against the wall, head going the wrong way down the bed if that makes sense and DH's pillow rather than mine under me in case of spillage grin

Well, tests are getting stronger so just praying that this one is a sticky bean! Not even due AF until Tue so terrified that it will be a chemical pregnancy although I got an equally early result with my miscarried pregnancy and nothing went wrong until 8 weeks (discovered at 12 week scan) so no experience of chemical pregnancies, think I'm just paranoid after last time!

2beornot Sun 23-Jun-13 09:40:42

Hi ladies, is there room for another one?

I feel guilty for even thinking about TTC - surely it's too soon?! I only had my ERPC on Friday. Plus I know it's bonkers but I can't help feeling like I'm betraying the one I lost.

The hospital advises waiting until you've had a period until you start TTC again - is this really necessary? Or is it just for dating?

GuffSmuggler Sun 23-Jun-13 10:07:32

Hi 2beornot sorry you find yourself here. Starting to think about TTC as soon as possible helped me focus on something but everyone is different. General opinion is there is no medical reason to wait for 1st AF they just like you to for dating.

Well I've been feeling a bit rough all weekend, not sick just tired and woozy and 'strange'. I'm either getting a bug or am PG.... can't stop wondering what's going on inside my uterus.

Going to try and hold out until Tues. AF due Mon/Tues..... I'm actually really scared to test as I know I will be crushed if it's a BFN.

TeaAndANatter Sun 23-Jun-13 11:29:30

Hi Rockchick, I'm a new Northerner - moved to Newcastle area last summer (hi!)

Currently kidding myself that I'll get knocked up again on 1st cycle after mc, and generally avoiding sad feelings via the Goddess of cake. Not great for thighs, fab for emotion avoidance wink

Misspositivity Sun 23-Jun-13 11:44:14

rockchick. Excellent news. Congratulations
*over" I am truly so sorry to hear your news. Gutted for you. I hope you are taking care of yourself, you have been through so much
2be. So sorry your here. No reason to wait apart from stressing over dates and heartbeats etc. I think we all know when we are ready. I have heard though that alot of people don't ovulate in that cycle (not sure how true this is ). Either way we will keep you company.

Tomkat79 Sun 23-Jun-13 15:52:20

2be we didn't wait for first AF post MC before TTC, didn't fall pregnant and kind of glad as first AF was the heaviest I'd ever had, despite having an ERPC. Felt like my body was having a proper clear out ready to go again. Fingers crossed for this month :-)

BlackberryandNettle Sun 23-Jun-13 16:50:52

Hi everyone, would also like to join you, in serious need of a dose of some posifrickintivity!

Bit of background, ttc no1, fell after 2 months last June but ended in mmc, bit of a nightmare, needed erpc 3 times in the 7 weeks afterwards (retained tissue). We had a break afterwards but now on our 6th cycle of trying again - no luck so far despite being at it like rabbits. Great to find this thread - came on to get some tips really, just started preseeding so shall see how that goes and going to check out DHEA.

Hello and lots of positive thought waves to all X

katatonic Sun 23-Jun-13 17:58:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sal1977 Sun 23-Jun-13 18:13:31

The old f*cking witch made an appearance today here. Had friends over for Sunday lunch which has distracted me, but the old 'I'm never going to be a mum/I'm barren/I've obviously pissed karma off' thoughts are never far from my mind today. sad

Cold roasties and copious amounts of cheese plus polishing off the prosecco is now on the cards for supper (we never have supper but I thought it sounded posh).

Welcomed to newbies, hopefully your stay will be short and sweet! Xx

Sal1977 Sun 23-Jun-13 18:14:45

PS. Kat this this the PERFECT excuse to suggest the syringe......

Penguinita Sun 23-Jun-13 18:39:07

Oh poo sal, that evil witch angry

I'm a northerner too rock, you're not alone!

Welcome 2be, I've been asking a similar question. The general consensus seems to be that you don't have to wait for any medical reason. But I would make sure you are getting a negative on a pregnancy test first or you will drive yourself mad, not knowing if a positive one is a new pregnancy or just the leftover hormones from the last one!

I managed a visit from a friend with a 3 month old baby yesterday without any jealousy. He was super cute but sicked up a lot, which helped smile

2beornot Sun 23-Jun-13 18:57:13

Oooooh prosecco!!! Just remembered we have some in the cupboard. Feels wrong as its normally a celebrating drink but sod it! Better get it chilling!!!

2beornot Sun 23-Jun-13 18:59:58

Sorry - sal reminded me.

I think if I treat fri as day one then might be up to dtd at least once in the important range. And then try properly after AF.

I hope you get BFPs soon. Fingers crossed!

RainbowConnections Sun 23-Jun-13 19:50:10

Hi all. Would like to come back to your thread please. MC earlier in the week. Couple of days of feeling like the world was falling apart but today feel a rationale-defying compelling need to be pregnant again.

May have to convince my DH that we don't need a break before TTC as this pregnancy was right after first MC 7 wks ago.

2be I'm prob not very inspiring on the TTC straight away front but I've been assured that MC1 did not contribute to 2nd MC.

over really sorry about your news, sounds like a very rough time.

Prosecco sounds great. I'm drinking semi-defrosted wine that was accidentally left chilling in freezer too long. Nice! Needs must.

alyant79 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:56:19

Oh no rainbow sad. What awful news. Big hugs.

Don't worry guys we're not all practically neighbours- I don't even live in London just happened to be there last night.

Welcome newbies. As has already been said, no need to wait for first af, although waiting for bfn is important. I also had retained products and needed an extra erpc and it was the continued bfp that tipped me off.

Thunder the dress I'm making is this one
http://www.sewlisette.com/patterns/portfolio
Dress length but short sleeves (not enough fabric!)

Like the sound of half-frozen wine. Haha. Needs must indeed.

alyant79 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:57:43

sal pooh!!!!! Pooh to evil af. I'd had such high hopes for project syringe

alyant79 Sun 23-Jun-13 19:58:44

Oh and kata I hope your dh is up to the job poor thing. Although maybe he should nick a syringe from the hospital just in case

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 23-Jun-13 21:12:47

Oh Rainbow that is really shit! Sending you lots of {{ hugs}}

GuffSmuggler Sun 23-Jun-13 21:18:54

Oh sal that's shit sad This whole rollercoaster of TTC is so rubbish and didn't you DTD 9 days in a row or something!? There's no hope for any of us!!

Sorry you are back here rainbow that is absolutely shit too angry I hope you are looking after yourself.

katatonic I thought I was bad making my DH DTD when he had bad stomach ache last cycle, but a dislocated knee, poor chap! Needs must though, tell him just to er 'soldier on'.

So I'm feeling a bit better today, so perhaps I had some phantom PG feelings - grrrr for feeling well!? confused

2beornot Sun 23-Jun-13 21:24:36

Rainbow sad That is really sad news. Once is bad enough.........

I think I'll need to order in a job lot of preg tests!

Hi all, been lurking a bit but due to DHs job situation (or no job as the case may be) we are Not Trying this month. Or at least we are continuing to DTD as usual but are telling ourselves we are Not Trying.
Had loads of EWC today but negative OPK so not sure whats going on, due to ovulate tuesday/wednesday. Not sure if we will avoid DTD for a few days or not.

So sorry to hear the sad news from Rainbow and Over, life is truly shitty. Hope you are both feeling well and taking care of yourselves.

I keep thinking I am fine but then get a bit drunk and get tearful. Situation is shit cause I desperately want to keep TTC but the work situation and worry over money is a problem. Have seen no less than 2 pregnant women in the last weekend and two newborns, plus a load on FB. Also seen people we hadn't seen in ages who are asking if we are having another etc etc. In my head I am going 'aargh' and outwardly it's well, yes, hopefully, blah, blah...

Hope everyone else is well. I am off to drink Prosecco too. In the bath, with DH. Still Not Trying though..!

Sal1977 Sun 23-Jun-13 23:10:28

Pah!! I did have a temp of over 102 degrees though, so hardly surprising but very bloody annoying....

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 01:05:35

Can I nominate myself for a medal? hmm
Ive just done 4 12 hour market days have a bad back, am exhausted and have still managed to DTD 3 times! grin I think that's pretty dedicated! <<keels over>>
Now, if I can just work out a way to end up NOT sleeping on the squishy patch, I'd be totally content! hmm confused grin

Sundance2007 Mon 24-Jun-13 08:31:22

Morning all.
Seems we've had a mixed bag of results over the last few days, congrats to rockchick- it really does help when we get a bfp on here, think it gives the rest of us some hope that it could be us next time!

Welcome but 'sorry you are here' to newbies.

Feeling really low today, after crying most of the night in a pathetic sort of mini-breakdown that I'm getting pains ahead of af which is due Friday! I guess it's not going to be my turn this time around, which st least means I can drink on my hollibobs but still makes me really sad. Had my mc in march and didn't think it would take this long to be pg again!! Grrrr.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 09:17:42

Me either Sun! I keep working out how many weeks PG I would have been and getting depressed. It will be awful if my due date arrives and Im still not PG.

GuffSmuggler Mon 24-Jun-13 09:17:45

Wow saggy YES you definitely get a big shiny gold medal engraved with the words "DTD Through Adversity".

Katatonic will also get one if she managed it with her DH's dislocated knee!!

Sorry you are feeling crappy missmake I think the Not Trying but Not Not Trying approach sounds like a good solution for now.

Sundance I also MC'd in March and feel like I should be upduffed by now, it's so hard to keep positive with each month that passes isn't it? Have a good cry and get back on the horse when you feel better. IT WILL HAPPEN.

I feel a bit sick this morning <hopeful>

Sundance2007 Mon 24-Jun-13 09:23:40

Thanks for understanding - I knew you would.

Doesn't help when people come out with comments like "are you pregnant again yet?" - quite possibly the most awkward question to answer.

Keeping fingers crossed for you Guff - are you going to POAS today?

And Penguin and Sal, fear not, I'm also heading up the number of northerners on here! smile

GuffSmuggler Mon 24-Jun-13 09:26:43

No holding out on POAS as AF due today/tomorrow. Will see how long I last.

I also had someone at a toddler group say 'Are you PG again yet?' 3 WEEKS after my MC and still bleeding from the ERPC. Truly I have seen the best and the worst of people through this experience. Just say you won't be discussing it with anyone, that's how I reply now.

Sundance2007 Mon 24-Jun-13 09:40:45

Really really keeping everything crossed for you then Guff - hopefully the next few days will fly by with no show from the old witch, though I don't think I could wait out until Friday to POAS if it were me. You're so patient! smile

So moving onwards and upwards....has anyone had any experience with the thermometer thingummybob? Think that may have to be my next port of call...project deperate is well and truly on the cards.

My DH has just taken accupuncture for an old knee injury and had some great success with it, has anyone tried it for fertility issues yet? Where do they put the needles??

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 09:57:24

Sundance its crap when people say things like that! I go for the shaming them into submission approach. "No. I'm still devestated from the miscarriage" or something equally blunt. I like to embarrass or shock them. Maybe they will think twice next time!
My mum caught it a while back. She keeps on about the menopause and how she hopes I won't be one of those women for whom it is the end of the world! I lost the plot and told her "no, but I'm only 38 and trying to have a baby so PLEASE just shut the hell up"!
I'm not the type of person to keep quiet and suck it up,and the direct approach definitely works! There is nothing more satisfying than seeing someone mortified! grin

alyant79 Mon 24-Jun-13 10:15:15

wow saggy good effort. Actually, AMAZING effort.

sundance i'm sorry you're feeling crap. I went through the same last week (mc in feb, extra erpc in march)..... This week i'm less upset but feeling like giving up instead. I ordered a bbt thermometer last week and it has just arrived with a whole bunch of ov sticks too. But I could hardly even be bothered to open the packet: I just don't know if I feel like trying.
I'm sure this is a passing phase and by the end of the week I'll be back to manic "we must have sex NOW because i'm ovulating" mode.

missmakes I like the Not Trying approach. Seems sensible. I really hope your DH gets a new job pronto.

guff i've got fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!!! Try and hold out until the day after AF due Friday. I was pretty pissed off when AF started the day after I POASed. Feeling a bit sick is a good sign.

Sal1977 Mon 24-Jun-13 10:17:07

I was chatting to the 20 yr old receptionist at work and she asked if we had decided to not have children (I'm 35yrs not fricking 55yrs), I just said "I've had two miscarriages actually so its not as been as easy for us", thinking that would shut her up, she then went on to tell me that we "should relax and it would happen"......

I replied (in my most lovely friendly patronising voice):
"Darling, you'll understand when you're a little but older that relaxing isn't really what gets you pregnant. You actually need to work out when you're ovulating so that you can time intercourse so the sperm fertilises the egg. How wonderful it would be if we just need to have a little relax to get pregnant!, Thank you for your advice though."

Stupid little bimbo. angry

flohs Mon 24-Jun-13 10:18:26

Oh Sundance what a ridiculous question. People are so odd and insensitive. I'm contemplating acupuncture this month... Wondering if it might help relax me too.

Over.... I'm so sorry for what's happened. It's just such a horrible thing to have go go through. I'm so amazed by how brave and stoical you are. It's v inspiring.

Back from a few days in Wales walking. Operation shag starts now. Think we are going for every other day for 14 days on advice of the doctor. But trying to land dtd on day of ovulation. Oh the maths. SMEP didn't work last month and just made us tired and stressed. So here goes. Hope everyone else doing ok.

Rockchick - great news for you. So pleased.

flohs Mon 24-Jun-13 10:21:12

Ps Sal - great response.
'just relax and it will happen' is the most irritating piece of advice in this whole process. I makes me want to be v rude to the person who bestows this insight.

dildoos Mon 24-Jun-13 10:27:06

Sorry to hear about all your awful times, people really do not think at times!
But sal I may take the bimbos approach and not doing anything but relax and when I am pregnant I will call him Jesus the miracle child!!! What a stupid wench!!
Grrrrrr grrrrrrr grrrrrrr angryangryangryangryangryangry
Something tells me I am suffering a little rage today hmm
However guff I have everything crossed for you!
Been to gp with my rage today grin I think they wished I hadn't! However they are now going to refer me for exploration for my heavy periods and my 3 mcs! Also I am booked back in to see Bourn clinic on a private basis but I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed a baby just like you ladies so I would rather keep to our small home and have an old banger as feel happiness would be money well spent!!
So now off to buy Tins of beans for the month! gringringringrin
Trump trump trump sorry maybe the beans!
I appear to have lost the plot grin
Xxx

Sundance2007 Mon 24-Jun-13 10:40:44

Sal - haha, I will definitely give that a try next time, and I'm sure there will be a next time. My DH's best mate is a rather bullish, straight talking type and he's coming for a visit at the weekend, he always asks me if I'm "Up the duff yet"...though I've warned the dh that there will be trouble this time if he asks again.

I'm becoming too obsessive today, no doubt because of my meltdown last night, but have been looking into the rules of IVF etc this morning. I know I'm being irrational but can't help it. I'll be 32 this year and don't have any children yet so feel like we really need to get a crack on.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 10:44:42

Stupid receptionist! angry
I'd have replied "there! That's the answer! And there was me worried about scarring in my tubes, early menopause, not ovulating and DP being infertile! Where did you say you studied reproductive medicine?" And made a face like this: hmm

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 10:46:07

<<comedy slaps Dildoos>>
Pull yourself together woman! grin

dildoos Mon 24-Jun-13 11:18:35

Abundance, I am a year older but have been blessed with dd 5 years ago, I tried 3 years for her. Have you been togp ? I know that in our area Norfolk you receive 3 Ivf attempts on nhs if neither yourself or dh have children of your own. I do believe at 31 you need to have been trying 6-12 with no miscarriages in that time either as sadly this is classed as a pregnancy sad
We do not qualify for Ivf on nhs as I am blessed with dd however my dp has no blood related child ( although the best daddy in the world might I add) so this is why we are in a position to dictate when where what time frame bla bla bla but at a hefty old cost.
If you can get in waiting list my personal opinion is do sooner rather than later as rules and regulations on this seem to change all the time!

Good luck with your choice , we are all here to support you xxxthanks

dildoos Mon 24-Jun-13 11:19:07

Abundance? I mean sun dance blooming phone x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 12:05:36

Well... The 2WW starts here. I'm about to drag my lazy carcass out of bed and face up to the world. Here's hoping for AF to fuck the fuck off....

alyant79 Mon 24-Jun-13 12:08:55

Ooh sal I LIKE your style girl.
Also saggy I like the final line of your hypothetical response too. So bitchy. love it.

Sundance2007 Mon 24-Jun-13 12:13:39

Thanks dildoos. Think I'm going to wait until after my holiday to see gp, that gives me one and a half more cycles before trying anything different. 6 months post mc would take me to October but I'm in a fortunate enough position to afford at least one round of IVF privately if it came to it.

I know I can get pregnant, though there were no examinations into why I mc or if there's any damage down there I need to be aware of. I know these roads are long ones hence why I'm thinking I should start looking into it now and if there is a hefty nhs waiting list I'd rather get to the back of the queue now!

Bloody hell, why can't I just be one of those women who get knocked up after one shag like they do on telly!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 12:16:53

The sad thing is, I used to be one of those women! sad I had 2dcs without even trying!

dildoos Mon 24-Jun-13 12:29:32

Sun- I often wonder how one night stands manage it, drug addicts, alcoholics, blinking parents that shouldn't be parents and loose there children into the fostering /adoption system. All seems mighty unfairsad
Holiday sounds like a good idea!!
Saggy - I guess you wonder more why now?
Oh please please please give us all a bfp this cycle! Xx

alyant79 Mon 24-Jun-13 13:10:51

I was one of those women too. 1 DD without trying, 1 MC (also pg without trying), but now....

I'm suspicious that something in my body still isn't right after the mc.
My periods have been so light since. The fact that so many of the rest of you talk about super heavy AFs makes me wonder if something is still stuck in there???

GuffSmuggler Mon 24-Jun-13 13:15:08

When I got PG with DS I didn't even KNOW when I ov'd and only really thought to do a PG test when I was about 2 weeks late and suddenly realised I hadn't had my period in ages. Can you imagine!? Urgh those were the days <bitter>

saggy have you been trying a long time for DC3 or is a recent thing? You don't have to answer btw I'm just being nosy!! Good luck with the 2WW, they are increasingly sending me stir crazy...

Sending positive vibes to all of you, this whole business is blinkin hard!

fedupofrainydays Mon 24-Jun-13 13:22:16

My work takes me to a lot of places where you see parents who really shouldn't be parents. I get both sad and very angry at the same time. Sad for the children who unjustly have those parents and also sad for me as I so badly want to have another. Angry with those parents for who they are and what they represent and angry with life for being so unfair.

Aly - how long ago was your mc? Mine too were really light afterwards, but very painful. Was petrified I had some sort of scarring or something stuck that wasn't letting the blood flow. 4 cycles on and it seems to be getting a bit back to normal - still not very heavy but more than it was.

There are so many people close to receiving my fist in their face when asking stupid questions like that receptionist / or those having an opinion on what they know nothing about. Shock tactics are sometimes the way forward I agree and mean I won't get arrested and charged for GBH.

I'm in the 2 ww as of tomorrow. God help me and those around me - crazy woman on the loose.

fedupofrainydays Mon 24-Jun-13 13:26:12

Ps I'm not really violent or that would put me in the same bad box as those parents who shouldn't be parents. But I'm sure you will all share my feelings when you get asked why you arent up the duff or told to relax or some other really wise and insightful tip.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 13:34:34

We have been trying since the MC at the start of February. I got PG accidentally. My youngest is 14.

Squigglypig Mon 24-Jun-13 13:57:14

Well me and DH are getting into the shagging week. Typically I'm supposed to be going out 3 nights out of the 4 (this never happens at any other time of the month I swear). But I might sack one of the nights off, supposed to be going out with a group of 4 friends but one has pulled out meaning it would only be me, one of my best friends and a friend of hers who I really really don't like (she's a proper earth mother type and has just had her second - I imagine the labour went beautifully and she just sneezed and it came out), so I'm thinking of excuses for that one.

Badhairday76 Mon 24-Jun-13 13:59:12

Hello everybody - may I please join you? I've been reading through all of your threads and you are so supportive of each other on this board and I could do with some of your positivity!

My story: am 37 with one DS who is 15 months old. He was conceived without trying after missing a pill with my then very new boyfriend. A huge shock, but the best thing that's ever happened to me. I then also conceived without trying back in October. In all honesty, I wasn't best pleased because found out just before we were due to fly to Melbourne to see my DP's family. Anyway, we had a scan and I was estimated to be 6 weeks pregnant and they saw a foetal sac but no foetal pole. 3 days after arriving in Oz I started to bleed heavily and assumed I was having a miscarriage. Four days after that I was in excruciating pain and nearly passed out. I was rushed into A and E on Christmas Eve where they found the pregnancy to be ectopic, my left tube had ruptured and was bleeding internally. Anyway, I lost the tube and the pregnancy and was told I was lucky to be alive. Did not feel bloody lucky though! Over - my heart goes out to you having just suffered an ectopic - horrendous experience, but it does get easier. Physically I have been absolutely fine after the laparoscopy - fingers crossed you will be too. Virtual hugs to you (((((. )))))

I've been trying desperately to get pregnant ever since and had a miscarriage at Easter. Since then.. nothing.... I too am horrendously fed up of people asking me if/when I'm going to have another child and could literally strangle the fools who say I just need 'to relax'. Anyway, I used ovulation sticks for the first time this month and ovulated over the weekend so am now in the dreaded 2ww. TTC has ruined my sex life - after shagging like crazy for the past week I now can't be bothered to do it outside the so-called 'fertile time'. Am hoping I'm a 'one tubed wonder' and this will be my lucky month but not holding out much hope to be honest cos think I ovved off my tubeless side. Such a waste! Am so happy for all the ladies who have got their BFPs already though - hope this is our lucky month!

GuffSmuggler Mon 24-Jun-13 14:08:31

Ah saggy so you got PG accidentally before MC and now you have to try hard, gah makes no sense does it! Hope you don't mind my long nose nosiness.

squiggly I clear my diary for shag week as we never manage it if we have a late night. That's pretty desperate behaviour isn't it!?

Hi badhairday sorry you find yourself here, sounds like you've had an awful time, I hope good BFP days are ahead.

Badhairday76 Mon 24-Jun-13 14:26:05

Thanks for the welcome GuffSmuggler. Good name btw. My badhairday moniker comes from the fact that my once super curly hair has gone straight after the two pregnancy losses. Has this happened to anybody else? My hairdresser says it due to hormones and will come back again. It's v weird...

Sundance2007 Mon 24-Jun-13 14:52:18

Welcome Badhairdays - really sorry you find yourself here for obvious reasons but welcome.

Aly - I had the same fear too - my AF's have been totally different since the mc, a lot more painful, although they are heavier rather than lighter,but I think it's just different for everyone. So long as they are coming on time and lasting as long as they should, I figured it must just be normal.

Clearly I'm having a very desperate day, I opened up a new packet of digestives and ate several! Had to fight myself to put them back in the cupboard, I wouldnt mind only I've been doing well with weight loss, 7lbs in just over 2 weeks. Hopefully feling fat will take my mind off feeling so broody. grrr

alyant79 Mon 24-Jun-13 15:13:09

fedup my mmc was in feb. extra erpc in march to get rid of retained products. It's been 4 cycles since and a really light AF for all of them. The first one i assumed was light because i'd had a medical mc (with lots and lots and lots of bleeding due to something being stuck on my cervix - sorry tmi), followed by extra erpc so had been bleeding for pretty much 6 weeks of the previous 8. But they've all been the same since so that's obviously not the reason.

don't worry fedup I completely understand that rage!

welcome badhair what a horrific experience. What an awful christmas you must have had.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 16:48:29

Not at all Guff. smile

BadHair - Thank you, it is reassuring to hear that physically you were okay. It's a week tomorrow since my Op and I am gradually becoming more mobile/less sore. So sorry you went through that awful experience too. Fingers crossed for a BFP for you soon. Just out of interest when did your hcg levels drop to normal/your cycles become 'normal' again? x

I do worry about my future fertility and how much my one tube is going to affect me. 3 months wait to Ttc again also seems like a lifetime. Wish I had a clock to fast forward time.

Good luck to everybody heading into the 2ww, and those still dtd!

Sorry to those who AF got angry

x

Penguinita Mon 24-Jun-13 19:20:56

So AF arrived today. A bit of a surprise seeing as only 6 days ago I still had pregnancy hormones in my blood according to the hospital. And only 5 days ago I was ovulating according to my bbt. Truly a WTF cycle! confused

Badhairday76 Mon 24-Jun-13 19:23:23

Hi Over , you poor thing. Yes, I can say that I recovered physically really quite quickly. The docs in Australia terrified me by saying I couldn't lift anything for 6 weeks so I arranged to have my mum down to stay to help me with my DS who was 9 months at the time, but I was fine after 10 days. I had a C Section after having my son and that was a million times worse to get better from.

And - I was told by the docs that I only needed to wait one cycle to TTC again. Standard advice is to wait three months, but different docs say different things. I had a blood test at 6 week's check up which i assume means no pregnancy hormones were left. Mind you, I miscarried after 3 months although I was reassured that it was just 'bad luck' and due to my being old(!) which I think it probably was. I stopped bleeding after the op on 1st Jan, then had my first AF on 2nd Feb. My periods have always been heavy and irregular, but they aren't any different than they were before. Have you looked on the Ectopic website today? There is some good news for us one-tubed gals. Wishing you a speedy recovery and lots of magic for all of us ttcers! X

Misspositivity Mon 24-Jun-13 20:45:22

Hi newbies. <waves frantically at everyone>. Sorry u all find yourself here.
Well AF is over after 7 days and as its day 8 tomorrow we start the SMEP. I am tired even thinking about it. Though DP and I keep giggling about it. It's like our little secret that I share with u guys too.
My periods have been really horrible since last mc. Lots of spotting before and after and very big clots (tmi). Hoping it just because of mc and not my endometerosis misbehaving. Does anyone else have endo? I don't seem to have problem conceiving with it just mc. Anyway acunpuncture on thurs so hopefully that will help.
penguinta am sure you are glad AF is finally here and you can get on with the job in hand.
alyant are you doing SMEP this month? Need a buddy.
over. Natural to worry about having one tube but only take 1 egg to conceive so try not to worry. Did you ask how the other tube looked when they operated. I am sure they would have looked and you can ask at your check up.

fedupofrainydays Mon 24-Jun-13 20:58:01

badhair welcome. Sorry you are here but I must say the thing with your hair is so random! I hope you have ovulated from the working tube this month.

Penguin glad af has arrived - it's good to get that first af out the way. My cycle was very weird the first one. I don't think the body has a clue what it's doing. I too think I ov'd a day or so after first neg preg test and the af pretty soon after. Was weird! But was pleased to have af as felt like it was flushing all the other funny hormones out that I didn't need any more. If that makes sense!

aly to be honest, after that ordeal I'm not suprised they are a bit light... Two ops and all that bleeding may mean it will take some time to build up again. I'm no dr though so haven't a clue. If its worrying you though I would go see the dr. Although when I asked mine, she said "I think it's just you". Another really helpful dr response. I was explaining how everything was heightened since my mc and erpc. Like I had sore boobs and nausea for pmt and generally cramps from ovulation onwards til end of af. None if which I had before mc. Basically I have less than a week each month without cramps. She didnt seem bothered. Which in a way is a good thing but not in others as didnt give me any answers to what's going on!

alyant79 Mon 24-Jun-13 21:06:43

ooh penguin that is a surprise. So how long did you have to wait for it to show up in the end?
Great that she's here, now you can get to it with gusto.

Not sure about SMEP missP. thinking about it. The alternative option is going for every second day over what i think is the critical week and a half (not entirely sure when i ov). Will see what our enthusiasm is like. I've already decided that if it doesn't work this month we'll just take it a bit easy for a couple of months and see if magically the "relax" method works. I want the fun to come back.

alyant79 Mon 24-Jun-13 21:11:31

thanks for the ideas fedup. I guess i'll wait a couple more months and then if nothing has happened and they are still light i'll go back to the dr

GuffSmuggler Mon 24-Jun-13 21:12:33

missp You have to start SMEP on day 8 shock I don't think we've got the energy for that!

TeaAndANatter Mon 24-Jun-13 21:20:58

Some days it starts to feel better, but today I cried on the Metro (mortifying), not sobs, just eyes wouldn't stop running. Missing what we didn't get to have x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 21:38:26

Well we have inadvertently been SMEPping this month. Day 8, 10, 11, 13, day 14 today, probably up for it tonight, possibly tomorrow. According to my app, peak day should have been yesterday, so tonight and tomorrow should have it covered. Its flipping hard work!!

fedupofrainydays Mon 24-Jun-13 21:42:47

Can someone enlighten me? What is SMEP?! Sounds technical and tiring.....

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 21:45:57

Sperm Meets Egg Plan. You DTD every other day from day 8, then when you get a high on an OPK or signs that you are OV, 3 days in a row. Apparently it increases the chances by up to 40%. There is a website if you google it.

Misspositivity Mon 24-Jun-13 21:59:28

guff. I know day 8 and I usually don't ovulate till day 17. I am going to be extra tired.
alyant I am with you on chilling out for a couple of cycles if dosen't work this month then time to relax.
saggy you go girl!!!!!!

Early night tonight as DTD in morning before work. Will probably have a basal thermometer in mouth at same time. Oh the romance!!!!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 24-Jun-13 22:02:54

DP isn't aware of SMEP though. He gets a bit freaked out if I actually mention TTC!
I may have put the mockers on tonight actually. I went to Tesco earlier, and bought a turkey baster. because I needed one
I left it on his pillow! grin <<evil>>

Sundance2007 Mon 24-Jun-13 22:56:04

We've been trying the SMEP for two cycles now - but I don't tell the hubby either, if it gets too technical he gets all sulky.

Getting bad pains today, though AF not due until Friday which is weird. Since the MC, pains have become so frequent and stronger.... Seriously, why do women have to put up with this crap, it's so unfair!

Big hugs tea- I think we've all felt that on a regular basis, I was a wreck last night but fine today after I'd demolished half a packet of biscuits.

Hello all, welcome to newbies and sorry you are here.

Cd9 here so should be getting busy but I'm ill and DH is working about 20 hours a day for a couple of days so looks like it ain't going to happen. Have ordered some new cb digi opks though so will hopefully be back in action once we near smile time just to give ourselves a slight chance this month.

saggy am so impressed with your stamina! Good work!! Saw you on the hamwidge thread yesterday too- was weeping with laughter and disbelief.

For those with more af symptoms than before mc, I definitely get these too. Boobs get sore before af now- which they never used to do (was my only pg symptom- how cruel!) and the ov and af cramping is much more pronounced.

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 07:58:32

Been sort of SMEP'ing too then. DTD cd 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 12. blimmin knackered. But going to do it once more today - pos opk early yesterday morning so hopefully done all we can this month. Might eat some energy bars and lucosade for later!

Rockchick1984 Tue 25-Jun-13 08:08:37

We did SMEP last month and it worked for me DH knew nothing about it - my BFP is definitely stronger now so I got brave and rang the community midwife yesterday as I was told when I miscarried to refer ASAP when I got BFP so I can have early scans if I want to.

Tea I know just how you feel, coping fine one day then having a really tough day the next. <hugs> I hope today is a better day for you thanks

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 08:15:15

Rock - where abouts are you? Im amazed they said that, thats caring of them. Our NHS people don't really care til you have about 3 miscarriages. I'm pretty much going to fork out for early scans myself, if and when I get preggers again.

Good luck and hope that bean is sticky xx

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 08:23:11

And tea I'm not having a good week either as I keep hearing more and more pregnancy news. Happy for them but just so wish it was me too. Big hugs. I've cried on the tube too and the bus. The bus incident was after Managing to drop about 20 of my business cards (i keep some in the same place as Oyster card) all over the bus floor and had to scramble to pick them up whilst the bus was moving and a little unstable! I'm sure you can picture a red face flustered person trying desperately not to flash her pants and remain kind of cool about the whole thing. Failed. Embarrassing and not sure how good for business - emotional wreck, sure you want to hire us?

Rockchick1984 Tue 25-Jun-13 08:24:59

I'm not far from Liverpool, I was shocked that they cared after one miscarriage but don't know if its different as it was MMC - baby died around 8 weeks but wasn't found until my 13 week scan, everything was still growing and producing hormones apparently but just not the baby sad

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 08:40:15

Me too. Just a massive sac producing a load of hormones lying to me that I was pregnant still sad

alyant79 Tue 25-Jun-13 08:46:30

missP you have a SMEP buddy! I've read up on it again and since it's basically what we planned to do anyway with the additional three in a row we're going to go for it. Day 8 is tomorrow....
i've got cheapie ov strips (they came with my bbt) so am going to steal a tube from work to collect my wee in - they say i need to let the reaction go for 40 min once my wee is at room temp!!
Took my first temp this morning after dreaming about it all night.
Project desperate is underway!

teaand bug hugs and flowers for you. we all have days like that and it's so embarrassing. Are you the kind of person who can cry and then look gorgeous 5 min later?? I'm not.

rock that was very brave of you. I hope they do give you the early scan (if you want it). They said the same to me at EPU, also because i had a mmc found at the 12 week scan. When I told that to the Dr later, he said "sometimes they just say that to make you feel better at the time, but when you actually ask them for an early scan they'll say no".
Bollocks to that I say! They promised me an early scan and an early scan I shall have. if i ever get pg again

Badhairday76 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:06:46

Morning ladies

I would just like to add that in my experience with the miscarriage, some doctors will be brilliant and very sympathetic and others will be rubbish. You can usually bypass the doctors though and self-refer to your nearest Early Pregnancy Unit. That's exactly what I did when I was pregnant just before I miscarried. I don't think they can actually turn you away. It takes so long to actually get a doctors appointment in Central London that I couldn't be arsed to wait. And rembember you can also fudge your dates slightly! So sorry to hear y

Badhairday76 Tue 25-Jun-13 09:09:08

Oops - so many of you are suffering with horrid cramps, and heavy AFs. Mine have always been rotten unless I'm on the pill. I get much worse PMT since the two pregnancy losses. My poor DP would certainly testify to that! Who will be next to POAS on here? Am keeping my bits crossed for everyone x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 25-Jun-13 09:25:15

Well girls, that's it for us! DTD last night, day2 of the final 3 SMEPing, and both fell asleep before we had... cough... grin confused
I think both of us are just knackered, so it's uphill to AF now.
I am not bothering to cross my fingers, if I think the worst I won't be disappointed! As for the rest of you, get SHAGGING! grin

<<waves at Thunder>> I hope you are feeling better my lovely?

Sundance2007 Tue 25-Jun-13 10:00:57

Right ok, big confession to make.... I just POAS! I know I know, big fish slaps coming my way. It was negative, and I knew it would be as I'm not even due until Friday (though I read somewhere that tests can sometimes pick it up as early as 8dpo. Seriously, what's wrong with me??! I've been cramping loads the last couple of days, and craving chocolate which is usually a strong af indicator.

Just re-read through the SMEP rules again, I didn't complete it properly last time as I only did 2 days after ov not 3 + 1. Oh well, there's always next month!

Slap away!

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 11:03:13

3 days after ov? Really? That means I have two more days to go I think.... Bloomin heck.

Slap slap slap! Way too early sun dance! But tbh I probably would have POAS too!

Sundance2007 Tue 25-Jun-13 11:07:58

Haha sorry!!

It's 3 nights in a row from the day you get the strongest opk+ then skip a night, then one final try! Keep going fedup, you're nearly there, then it's back to peaceful sleeping for a bit! smile

alyant79 Tue 25-Jun-13 11:19:39

sundance! how wicked!! angry

fx it was just too early.

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 13:31:27

I do those smiley face cb ones. That say "make love in the next 48 hours after first smiley face and all with be just fine "

So if I got my smiley yesterday morning, how many more days would you suggest we do it? Longing for some peaceful sleep but also want to give it the best go!! Thanks sun dance

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 25-Jun-13 13:40:17

Hello again everyone smile. I have been lurking for sometime since discussing DH's reluctance to TTC again on the last thread. (Had MMC at end of April, baby died at 11+4).

Well, DH has come through for me in spades, and we've had our first TTC cycle. Managed 5 times in 4 days (I am ignoring the fact that DH's reluctance meant we didn't start until Ov day or even O+1, grrr!).

I am now 10DPO and starting the obsessing. I have been studying my BBT graph at length, comparing to my previous pregnancy month, comparing to strangers' temperature graphs, peering at mine through squinty eyes. I have had precisely NO pregnancy symptoms WHATSOEVER. No nausea, no dizziness, no rise in temperature, no implantation dip, no spotting, no 'bubbly' feelings. In fact. we probably started the Shagfest too damn late. But hey, what's a bit of factual scientific evidence to the contrary when you are an obsessive-bonkers-TTCer. I AM UNLIKELY TO BE PREGNANT <<mantra>>

And I won't even test until 18DPO because my luteal phase is anything from 14-18 days - so AF is due Saturday-Tuesday. Just in time for a Naming Ceremony at the weekend. Nice. Aaargh! Hate this bit!!!!

So sorry to see Over and Rainbow back on this shitty thread. flowers for you guys. Life really fucking sucks sometimes, doesn't it?

Sundance2007 Tue 25-Jun-13 15:29:45

fedup - I'm always the same come OV week - technically I'm still a newly wed but the thought of DTD so frequently is a pain sometimes, quite frankly!

So basically, you've got just a little further to go. Say you tested positive on the OPK today, then you would need to do it tonight, tomorrow and Thursday, then take a break Friday, then have another go on Saturday. That's what the SMEP recommends anyway. I misread it first time and did just the day I tested + and the day after then left it. Because the OPK's are quite vague and say OV could be anytime in the next 48 hours, you definitely need to do the next 2 days - not so sure why you have to leave it for a day then have another go, presumably because there are exceptions to the rule when people ovulate, but the woman who devised the plan says that this was designed for people who had experienced a MC, and she said that 40% of couples who stick to it have a success rate!

Good luck - I really hope it works out for us all. It might be a load of rubbish but I'll happily take it as the law for the time being.

Dearly, keeping my fingers crossed for you anyway. If it hasn't worked out this time, then reckon we'll both be in the same boat at the same time so we can be POAS buddies!! smile

alyant79 Tue 25-Jun-13 16:49:01

hi DDMF i'm glad to hear that your DH finally got with the program. hooray! FX for you.
you could test friday? you'd be 13 DPO.... might help with obsessive knickers checking at the naming ceremony

MrsExcited Tue 25-Jun-13 17:17:05

Hiya,

Welcome to all the new faces - Hope your stay is short.

I have had confirmation today that my husbands medical insurance will cover me to see a gynaecologist privately which has perked me up no end as a 55 day wait on top of the 14 weeks waiting for AF to return was a little galling! Feeling lucky on that one.

Still got symptoms that suggest I may be pg but having not had an AF since before last pregnancy I am not sure what to do!

Sorry to here AF got you Sal

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 17:19:39

Thanks sundance - 3 more DTD sessions to go. Not sure how up for it (pardon the pun) my OH will be as that will make it 8 times in one week that has to be a record for us (ok maybe not when first got together!) but he quite likes science so maybe he will buy it. Lets see.

Sorry you are here too dearly and I'm a bit crazy and would find it hard to wait so would prob POAS before the ceremony to avoid the constant pant check! Fx for you

Sal1977 Tue 25-Jun-13 18:29:47

Yep, but of a pisser that AF visited here Excited. Have you done any tests?

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 25-Jun-13 18:56:26

Thanks guys, knew you'd cheer me up smile

The month before I conceived DD2 I had a negative HPT on 18DPO (AF appeared a couple of hours later). That was a bit of a killer, and swore that I would wait until 18DPO to test forever more. So undecided on that one I think. I think I'd rather have the appearance of AF rather than a negative (maybe-I-tested-too-early) HPT.

Good news on the medical insurance Mrs. 14 weeks waiting is terrible. Remind me - did you have a negative HPT following your miscarriage?

GuffSmuggler Tue 25-Jun-13 19:57:48

SO I buckled and POAS... and.....

BFP!!!!!!! grin grin grin grin

Slap me with as many wet fish as you like!!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 25-Jun-13 20:14:32

Guff its bloody TUESDAY! The whole point is that we POAS on a FRIDAY! <<shakes head>>

Just joking grin WOOHOO! Congratulations! please let it be me next

GuffSmuggler Tue 25-Jun-13 20:22:04

Yeah but I held out Friday as it was too early so it's ok surely..... wink

Your turn is coming saggy don't you worry.

dearly I'm so glad DH is onboard with TTC, hopefully your BFP isn't far away.

Now what do I do? I'm delighted and bloody TERRIFIED in equal measure!!?

Misspositivity Tue 25-Jun-13 20:23:09

Yippee guff excellent news.

alyant. Great to have a SMEP buddy.

GuffSmuggler Tue 25-Jun-13 20:24:57

Oh and if you lot doing SMEP start to collapse with exhaustion, we DTD 3 days before OV and on OV day and couldn't manage it after that.

Someone told me it's more important to DTD before OV as you need to get the swimmers up there waiting for your egg to release, seems to make sense. I used those CB Digi sticks with dual hormone that tell you when you are about to OV and when you actually OV.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 25-Jun-13 20:28:23

I'm full to the gills with swimmers! confused I just need them to do their job! grin poor DP is knackered! sad

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 25-Jun-13 20:29:07

Oh wow, Guff! Congratulations grin

Badhairday76 Tue 25-Jun-13 20:31:27

That is brilliant news, Guff - well done!!! So exciting!

dildoos Tue 25-Jun-13 20:53:54

Woohoo guff!!!! Wet fish not required as a bfp!!!!!! So pleased for you!!! This is the thread to be on grin !!

Squigglypig Tue 25-Jun-13 20:57:21

Congratulations Guff! Here's to a smooth 9 months and a lovely wriggly baby at the end of it!

I'm in a massive strop with DH at moment so no DTD for us tonight. I can't even begin to explain but he's being an arse and I'm now sulking upstairs on mn. It's nothing major, just to do with the garden and money and whether we pay someone to do it or I do it and save us money. He finished by saying I just don't want it to look as shit as our old garden! I will have you know that our old garden did not look shit, he often complimented me on it and frankly if he got off his arse and helped now and again then it would be a bit easier to sort this one out.

(ridiculous I know.)

dildoos Tue 25-Jun-13 21:03:50

Squiggley- I say compost dh for tonight !
I am now watching my recorded programme the man with the10 atone testicles !! Omg?!!!

Floweroct Tue 25-Jun-13 21:05:50

Guff congrats that's great news!

I also abused the system but bfn sad I'm only 12 dpo and did it this evening so know I'm not completely out but needed to stop me getting my hopes up < ducks to avoid fish slaps>

Rockchick1984 Tue 25-Jun-13 21:10:17

Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy Guff!!!! <does silly excited dance> I'm made up for you!!!

Emki Tue 25-Jun-13 21:11:15

Congratulations guff well done!!!! Fantastic news!!!

dildoos Tue 25-Jun-13 21:14:23

Flower not over yet!!! Fx for you !! <<launches small kipper >>

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 21:31:49

The 10 stone testicle programme - v amused you chose to record that one. Imagine the amount of swimmers in there!!

Am full to the brim too - been constant shagging since Thursday. Too old for this!! Just hoping one healthy swimmer front crawls / butterflies it rather than doggy paddle to meet the egg.

Squiggly - I'm sure your garden looks lovely (not in a crude sense, in a garden sense!)

Congrats guff - thats great news! it's all happening on this thread. I hope this is a good sign for my bfp this month. So beginning to lose hope and energy for all this.

fedupofrainydays Tue 25-Jun-13 21:32:37

The 10 stone testicle programme - v amused you chose to record that one. Imagine the amount of swimmers in there!!

Am full to the brim too - been constant shagging since Thursday. Too old for this!! Just hoping one healthy swimmer front crawls / butterflies it rather than doggy paddle to meet the egg.

Squiggly - I'm sure your garden looks lovely (not in a crude sense, in a garden sense!)

Congrats guff - thats great news! it's all happening on this thread. I hope this is a good sign for my bfp this month. So beginning to lose hope and energy for all this.

Congrats Guff, great news, there is hope for us all.

I had a lovely, busy weekend with yet more bloody babies and pregnant people popping up and out everywhere. I was slightly satisfied when I heard the name one of them has chosen for the impending arrival, it did cheer me up a tad as it is totally ridiculous, evil I know but I take comfort where I can.

I am ovulating and miserable as am now letting this one go to waste. Got symptoms on Friday and DTD then, got positive OPK today, so probably OV today and DH doesn't want to do the deed as we Are Not Trying.

I am kind of resigned to trying again after the summer now, when hopefully things will improve for us work wise and we can plan for another DC. I have a lot on at work and lots of really great stuff happening over the next year, so a summer 2014 baby might be really nice timing actually. I can get fit and a bit thinner before then too, plus enjoy the summer getting pissed camping and enjoying the sun. When it arrives. We also have loads to do to finish our house off so we can sell it in a couple of years, a project for the garden and lots of other plans.

Can you tell I am talking myself into this?!!

Hope all of you get the results you want but I think I will just have to keep dipping in and lurking every so often until we are TTC again as it is making me a bit miserable in actual fact because all I want is to be doing something to get another DC - this putting it off is horrible as it isn't our choice.

dildoos Tue 25-Jun-13 21:48:19

Fedup- I know my thoughts entirely! It sucked up his penis so unsure as to where we could extract his swimmers from? Now watching the op they have found his penis woohoo a penis is born grin
Miss - that's a hard thing to do is wait ESP when you want something so much! Keep on here as company is always good!!
Xx

alyant79 Tue 25-Jun-13 22:33:58

Yaaaaayy guff!!!!!!!!!!

alyant79 Tue 25-Jun-13 22:34:49

Not over yet flower

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 25-Jun-13 23:17:51

grin I've just got into bed. DP says "just so you know, if you come near me I'm calling the police!" confused hmm grin

RainbowConnections Wed 26-Jun-13 07:29:21

Guff thats fantastic news! I've been full of pregnant lady bitterness. Nice to have someone to be happy for.
Rockchick can't remember if I said it already but if not congrats too. Hope you are well?

DDMF glad you're back in the game, even if DHs timing annoying for this month.

Missm fingers crossed for DHs job situation.

We're on a kiddies holiday chosen for DS and place is full of ladies with bumps. Felt like I was in a nightmare yesterday. But i ignored MC advice and went swimming in pool at end of day. Brilliant fun.

Impressed with all the action. SMEP sounds exhausting!!

Hooray guff!! Congratulations!

grin at saggy's exhausted fella

Morning everyone else x

Sundance2007 Wed 26-Jun-13 09:44:15

Bloody hell guff that's such lovely news, I'm really happy for you Hun!!! Seems to be a pregnancy boom everywhere at the minute <except in my lady bits> but it genuinely is heartwarming when someone in here gets pg, gives the rest of us hope! Xx

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 26-Jun-13 11:24:27

Morning all. Just checking back in after a week of nice sunshine on the beach, eating lots of food and having wine/sangria with every meal.

AF arrived on my first day of holiday. I had the slight optimism that maybe it's my lucky week when packing the bags. It was 16 dpo and no sight of AF. So I didn't pack any tampons. My first purchase in Spain therefore was a pack of tampons and pads in the corner shop next to the hotel grin. Oh well, onwards and upwards, hopefully it'll be a better month for me this time round.

I haven't caught up with all the news. I think guff got a bfp from the last few posts. Huge congrats if it's true.

Floweroct Wed 26-Jun-13 12:31:41

Glad you gad a goid holiday oltt but sorry af got you.

Feeling thoroughly rubbish today and really beginning to hate this ttc malarkey! Af due any day and feels like its on its way. Got three rounds of clomid left and then I think we are faced with the real possibility that ivf is our only option which would mean paying privately or waiting 2 years for nhs. But just don't know if I have the energy to go through it all. Sorry I am wallowing so please ignore me just hoping that by writing this all down ill get rid of my negativity! I'm hoping that once I've gone past next week which is my birthday (another year older and still childless) plus what should have been my edd that I can start with the posifrickintivity!

GuffSmuggler Wed 26-Jun-13 13:09:40

Awwww thanks guys <goes all pretend shy> This thread has been a lifeline, we will all get each other through to that BFP!!

Sorry the evil witch got you onelittle sad Make sure you extra indulge on holiday to make up for it.

Sorry you are having a crappy day flower TTC after MC is so blimmin tough angry

saggy your poor DH! Is he walking around with a limp? grin

Emki Wed 26-Jun-13 13:15:01

I'm pretty miserable too!!! Had a complete melt down last night - had a comment yesterday about the mc I had last year - anniversary on Friday - lost baby at 5 months pregnant) which made my blood boil!

AF due on Friday too - so don't want her to come - really want it to happen now as really feel I'm falling apart - dh thinks I need counselling grin.

Trying so hard to resist POAS!!!! I need many fish slaps!!!

Sorry !! Like flower also hoping that by getting this dell down I ca cheer up xx

alyant79 Wed 26-Jun-13 13:36:32

aw big hugs to flower and emki. I'm sorry you're both feeling so down sad
you've both got nasty anniversaries coming up which are bound to make you feel miserable - just let the tears come. If you try and hold it all in it won't be good for you.

OLTT i'm sorry that your period came but i'm glad you had a lovely time and lots of sangria.
rainbow i hope you do lots more swimming and try and ignore those bumps.

saggy i hope you left your DH alone and aren't in gaol somewhere.

SMEP starts tonight for us... exhausted just thinking about it!

Emki Wed 26-Jun-13 14:07:42

Good luck aly !!!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 26-Jun-13 18:00:20

Lol! No I'm not in jail! grin we did attempt DTD but decided we were just too knackered!
Gives new meaning to "shagged out"! shock

dildoos Wed 26-Jun-13 18:15:50

Saggy old is the using smep? We are going to give that a bash this month! Can anyone rx a good ovulation test please bought Internet cheapie but that gave me a positive every day ? Oh dear think they may have been a con grin
X

omama Wed 26-Jun-13 19:56:38

Hi ladies can i join?

<tentatively looks around>

Started mcing naturally over wknd after discovering I'd had a mmc at 11wks (baby measured < 6wks) Pretty horrendous wknd, masses of pain & heavy bleeding, an overnight stay in hospital & an erpc yesterday.

Back home today & still feeling pretty tender. am not ready to start ttc yet, so am gonna lurk quietly in the background for a while til I'm recovered, but wanted to introduce myself & say hi & hope u don't mind - I also wanted to ask a question.

How quickly did you all start ttc again after mc? Its playing on my mind a lot. I feel so sad about the little bean I just lost, & I want to give myself enough time to recover emotionally. However it took 15 cycles ttc to get pregnant this time & I'm anxious it could take as long again, or even longer, so in a way am keen to get ttc as soon as possible, but a little worried about rushing straight into it.

2beornot Wed 26-Jun-13 20:39:00

Just POAS tonight and got a BFN!! So that means ERPC was successful, right? And we can officially start ttc again?

Do I assume Friday was day 1 of my cycle? I don't really want to start using OPKs (tho was tempted today) but at the same time don't want to get knackered by shagging too early!

Also, am I a bad person for wanting to ttc straight away.

2beornot Wed 26-Jun-13 20:39:11

Omama look after yourself. It is hard. I'm finding it hard. I didn't cry today (first day since I think). I am ready to ttc now. But it feels wrong. So wrong. Do things at your own timescale. Take care x x

Tomkat79 Wed 26-Jun-13 20:53:00

Welcome omama sorry you find yourself here. 2be of course you're not a bad person for wanting that.

We started again as soon as stopped bleeding post ERPC and got AF a month later. Had no idea what day was what so we just enjoyed ourselves and took the pressure off in that month. Last week was fertile week so lots of baby dancing. Think I'm still recovering ;-)

You will know when it's right I'm sure. I do believe that although you feel physically ok quite quickly post ERPC your body still needs time to sort itself out. Emotionally it can take a lot longer. In no way tho are we being disrespectful to the babies that didn't make it by wanting another one, I truly believe that. bakingtins linked a wonderful article over the weekend that's a wonderful read. If you're lurking lovely lady can you link it on here xx

Omama welcome and so sorry to hear the reason you are here, it must be heartbreaking, hope you are taking care of yourself. I don't know if this helps as I had my MC very early and naturally, so it isn't the same I think as it sounds like you have really been through it, but we started TTC straightaway, I think it helped me feel positive, although we were told to wait for dating etc. However, since 1 AF, I think I was still raw and very emotional the first cycle, maybe waiting would have been a good idea as I wouldn't have felt so disappointed at not getting a BFP straightaway. We are now putting it off for other reasons, and although I am gutted I am feeling relieved that I don't have to do the 2ww for a couple of months, I am slowly coming round the idea of a short break from TTC.
I am sure whatever you decide to do will be for the best - I worry about it taking a while and it didn't take us that long really this time, although with DD it did.
I used OPKs to see when I ovulated, then we just talked about it and made up our minds then to try again - you could just see what you felt like when you know you are ovulating.

Misspositivity Wed 26-Jun-13 21:08:31

omama. Hi and big hugs. We started TTC in first cycle after 1 mmc and conceived in 2nd cycle. Sadly mc again. Started trying again straight away. Now on cycle 2. Still miss my beans but need to look forward not back. It can take some time for your cycles to settle. Some of the guys had to wait weeks for first period but once u get a BFN you physically are good to go physically. Emotion wise I think another preg will be difficult whether you wait or not that's how I feel anyway
2beornot. I ovulated a few days late in cycle 0 but think everyone is different. But you are good to go. Lots of us feel the need to get pregnant straight away it's natural.
dildo I am using cb digital dual ovulation expensive but finding it works better than cheapies
emki will be thinking of you this week. Hoping you get a BFP this cycle.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Wed 26-Jun-13 21:14:49

Emki, sorry you're feeling so down. The anniversary is bound to be dreadful. I am dreading mine already and it is ages away. As someone said upthread, whatever you feel is perfectly natural. Hopefully, once this milestone is over, it might get slightly easier although what do I know

Omama, sorry for your loss. I had a MMC (baby died at 11+4) at the end of April. I would've started TTC straight away but DH was reluctant. We waited for the first AF after the miscarriage (took 5 weeks to come back) then this was our first month ahem back in the saddle as it were. Whatever feels right for you. Perhaps wait until AF returns and then see how you feel?

greenlizard Thu 27-Jun-13 08:06:01

Good morning ladies

May I join you? Firstly sorry for all our losses - whilst it is comforting that we are not alone it is a tragedy that so many have had to go through the pain sad

I had a MMC diagnosed (on my 44th birthday) at 11 weeks - our baby died at 9+3. I had an ERPC 15 days ago and I have just stopped bleeding and got a negative HPT yesterday and today. I was floored by it - emotionally rather than physically but we both want to try again as soon as possible given our age (the gynae at the hospital pretty much said - get on with it). It took us 9 months to conceive and I know we would be very lucky if we conceive again in that timescale but I am absolutely terrified that our LO was our only chance. It was my first pregnancy.

So i am back to the charting and POAS'ing - temperatures have been all over the place -is this normal after MC? Also is there any point in using an OPK in cycle 0?

alyant79 Thu 27-Jun-13 08:52:11

hi omama and greenlizard and welcome
omama you should do what feels right for you mentally. we started ttc again straight away once the bleeding stopped (that is a buffer which gives you a bit more time to think about how you feel). It didn't work and here we are on cycle 4 now. Maybe this will be our lucky month!

greenlizard i'm sorry I can't answer yout temping question. I've only just started doing it myself this month. out of desperation

tobe bfn and no bleeding is great! all aboard the ttc train grin. Of course you aren't a bad person. It seems like most of us just want to get pg again immediately.

oh and dildoos I used the cb digi advance ov sticks last month and found them quite confusing. they gave me 4 days of high before the peak fertility, and none of that coincided with my physical symptoms. This month i'm using internet cheapies combined with temping. I'm v curious to see how the two compare.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 27-Jun-13 09:16:48

omama sorry for what you've went through. I had a very similiar experience as yours on my second mc. The 12 week scan showed only an empty sac, measured at less than 6 weeks. Then the mc naturally started before the scheduled second scan. I bled so much that I ended up in A&E and then an emergency EPRC that night (and a stay in hospital overnight to recover). I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

We tried again on cycle 0 (ie before first real AF). You will know when it feels right again. Medically there is no reason to wait. I'm 38 so maybe that's why I felt strongly I need to try asap again. I still haven't get over the losses btw.

greenlizard I'm so sorry you are here too. I'm onto cycle 2 after mc. I got a bfp on cycle 0 after my first mc so it's entirely possible. I think I was into CD 30 before ovulation that time. The second mc was recent. And cycle 0 was a mess. BBT was normal showing a biphasic chart. Ovulation was CD 20, and then I had a luteal phase of 6-7 days. It got me so worried. But it was back to normal in cycle 1. HTH.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 27-Jun-13 09:18:34

And I didn't use OPKs on cycle 0 either time. Just temping.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 27-Jun-13 12:20:21

Hi green lizard, sorry you find yourself here. With regard to temping, I only resumed temp taking during my first full cycle after AF returned (5wks after MMC). However, it wouldn't surprise me at all if your temps were irregular - it isn't called the WTF cycle for nothing!

A negative HPT is a good sign though (oh, the irony), so hopefully once your hormones settle, your temps will settle too. Best of luck to you smile

Floweroct Thu 27-Jun-13 17:11:28

emki how you feeling today? Are you going to poas tomorrow? I think af is on her way I'm 14dpo but can't remember whether it normally appears 14dpo or 15dpo and my phone appears to have wiped everything in my calendar so I can't check! But imagine af will be here before the days out sad

omama. Sorry you found yourself here my story is very similar with mmc and length if time ttc beforehand! We were going to wait until first af but it didn't arrive for 10 weeks so just waited for bfn which took a few weeks but I think I actually felt better once I'd had one af but I know what you mean about wanting to start ASAP I'm still here 6 months later sad

Any Friday poasers??

Sundance2007 Thu 27-Jun-13 17:38:42

Hi all

omama - so sorry to hear your news, it's so shitty but you'll find some comfort here I'm sure, we've all been through the lows and the even lowers, but somehow manage to keep each other from going cometely crazy.

Take your time, that's all I can say. Hard, I know, but I still randomly cry about my mc and that was early March.

So af is due Sunday - I've had cramping the last few days so have written this month off. The good news is I won't feel guilty about drinking on holiday, and I've decided to give myself a month off, I'm not taking any sort of sticks on holiday with me and hopefully I will come back more refreshed. Ill be ov whilst were away so you never know.

emki - keeping fingers crossed for you

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 27-Jun-13 19:58:26

It seems quite a few of us have AF imminent. emki, hope you're okay. floweroct, I hope you're wrong about your AF. I'm DPO12 or DPO13 and I've had a few crampy feelings too. But my LP can be up to 17 days, so I wouldn't be 'late' until Tuesday or Wednesday. And the days are drraaaaaaaagging...

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 27-Jun-13 21:54:18

Right! I'm on day 17. Can I starts fly symptom spotting yet? I have 3 spots, keep peeing and am absolutely dog tired! Must be PG surely!? grin
Welcome newbies. It's shot that you are here, but these are really a lovely bunch of ladies. No better place for support and ham holding.

Misspositivity Fri 28-Jun-13 09:11:52

saggy. As an avid symptom spotter maker up I say spot away.

After me saying I was finding the clearblue dual ovulation test was working for me. The same thing happened as last month. Got a peak on cd 11. No flashing ones before. Last month I went on to have flashing smiles and peak at cd 16. Had pain and ewcm last night - a bit confused. Common factor is I have had acunpuncture on cd10 both cycles. Wondering if it's linked. We are following SMEP so not sure whether to start 3 in a row as if it's a flase alarm I don't think we could manage it again this cycle. What do you think guys.
Anyone poas today??
emki. Big hugs today.

BirdsDoIt Fri 28-Jun-13 09:12:27

Hee hee, saggy, ham holding? <visions of lots of crazy TTC ladies running amok brandishing joints of pork>

But yes, welcome to all newbies - have been lurking a bit over the last week and sorry to see you're here but as saggy says this is a lovely thread to be on.

I think at day 17 you can def start symptom spotting! I'm 8dpo and symptom spotting like crazy - getting quite breathless when going up stairs like I did for last pregnancy, waking up super hungry in the mornings, forgetting the occasional word. All of this of course could just be because I've been doing lots of exercise and not getting enough sleep!!

guff congrats on your BFP!! How are you and the other newly pg ladies doing?

Any legal poas-ers this morning? <frowns at guff>

BirdsDoIt Fri 28-Jun-13 09:14:01

Hmm missp I'm not sure - have you talked to your acupuncturist about it?

alyant79 Fri 28-Jun-13 09:14:12

Alright ladies, it's fertile friday. Hands in the air, who POAS today?

BirdsDoIt Fri 28-Jun-13 09:16:27

And emki and flower big hugs, sorry to hear you've been having a shitty week - hope you have a treat or two lines up for the weekend!

katatonic Fri 28-Jun-13 09:19:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misspositivity Fri 28-Jun-13 09:22:54

birds. Said to her last night. She wants me to call her if it happens again so will do today. Said its quite possible.
Probably best I just keep going every other day. Don't want to frighten DP.

alyant79 Fri 28-Jun-13 09:23:13

missp confusing I agree.
I think if you stuck with every 2nd day you'd still get enough swimmers up there in case it really is your ovulation, and still have enough energy for later in the cycle.

saggy i'm on CD10 and also dog tired. maybe i'm pg too, haha. wink

BirdsDoIt Fri 28-Jun-13 09:24:16

aly I displayed extraordinary willpower this morning and didn't poas because it's just too early...I feel quite proud f myself.

alyant79 Fri 28-Jun-13 09:44:26

well done birds! now you just need to hold out until next friday...
when is AF due?

RainbowConnections Fri 28-Jun-13 09:51:56

Thinking of you today emki. And you too flower, hope you manage something nice for yourself on your birthday, even though you probably don't feel like it.

greenlizard and omama sorry you're here but hope the company helps.

Symptom spotting all sounding hopeful! Any POAS news? Everyone being strong and holding off? My fingers are crossed for you all.

I'm considering the ethics of avoiding TTC talk with DH and just taking advantage of the fact that its weeks since we last DTD so he's prob a bit desperate. Waiting for bfn anyway. He'll have to be very desperate to see past my holiday pot-belly full of cherry lager, cheese and chocolate.

GuffSmuggler Fri 28-Jun-13 09:52:00

Thanks for all the fish slaps, I'm quite happy to stink of fish. Let's face it fertile Friday has NOT been delivering so I needed to help the thread along grin

Kat I am in AWE of your DH managing it with a dislocated knee, poor poor man. You'll have to give him some serious TLC after.

I've got a feeling there's a run of BFPs as it's been a bit quite lately on that front. Everything crossed for all you.

BirdsDoIt Fri 28-Jun-13 09:53:08

Friday 5 July, so I'll be POASing next Friday unless AF makes an appearance before then!

missp I think that sounds like a good plan - every other day should definitely be enough given the time sperm live for. Interesting that acupuncture might be affecting you like that! - although v confusing.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Fri 28-Jun-13 09:54:07

I've poas today. Bfn at 14dpo. Stomp stomp stomp. TFIF.

Welcome to newbies but sorry for all the sadness you've been through to find yourself here.

Xx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 28-Jun-13 10:14:08

Oh POO, Cam!

BirdsDoIt Fri 28-Jun-13 10:22:18

Oh bugger cam I'm sorry. wine? Maybe too early. Gin?

RainbowConnections Fri 28-Jun-13 10:25:45

Oh thats rubbish Cam sorry.

alyant79 Fri 28-Jun-13 11:05:36

boooooo! cam

kat your DH deserves a medal.

Emki Fri 28-Jun-13 11:10:59

Bfn here too! AF arrived too - why do I neverbjustvwsitvdo I could save some money!!!
Pretty gutted but there's always next month!!! Xxx hope all ok - might just lurk for a bit as really fed up and need to take my mind off ttc for a bit xxx hope you all have good weekends xxx

CamomileHoneyVanilla Fri 28-Jun-13 11:21:15

Thanks folks. Sorry you're with me Emki, stupid BFNs.

Am quite gutted because have had aching breasts and fatigue for the last week which I'd deluded self into thinking might mean I was in with a chance despite the fact that I've also had aching elbows, a symptom even I couldn't manage to attribute to a possible pregnancy! Will buy some tampons and get ready to welcome AF.

Just had a quick scan of the thread, massive congrats guff. Fab news.

Anyone else testing today?

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Fri 28-Jun-13 11:21:26

Sorry can and emki. Bah!

I am resisting POAS as there are none in the house AF isn't really due until possibly Tuesday. Dammit, I wish my LP wasn't so damn variable. My temps are still just normal post-ovulation levels, no significant 'pregnancy' rise like last time, so I think the old witch will be here sooner or later. Hate this waiting though.

Sundance2007 Fri 28-Jun-13 11:44:59

Bit of a wasted test for me today, though I've become addicted to peeing on sticks so took the Friday challenge anyway - BFN.
AF due over the weekend - just wish it would hurry up and get lost again.

Good luck to anyone else trying today though. FX

Morning all. Sorry for the bfns. They suck. We seriously need someone to lead the way in opening the floodgates in here. guff I hope that is you and rock!

No news here bum on cd12/13 (can't really decide) and haven't been well so no dtd yet. (I know I know). Hoping to put that right BIG STYLE over the weekend which I hope will correspond with a positive opk too.

Floweroct Fri 28-Jun-13 11:54:55

Thanks for all your kind words smile

I didn't poas today as pretty sure af us nearly here but if it hasn't arrived will test tomorrow (hopefully that will just count as delayed Friday poas so I won't get any fish slaps!) will be 16dpo tmrw.

Sorry emki cam subdance hope you do something nice to forget about it.

alyant79 Fri 28-Jun-13 13:00:04

oh boo, emki and sundance as well

It's all guff's fault. if she'd only waited til friday we could have had one bfp to cheer us all up.

rainbow i like your evil plan of not telling DH that you're officially ttc. ignorance is bliss...

Squigglypig Fri 28-Jun-13 13:32:10

Well no POAS for me for a couple of weeks now, and even then I may have to wait a week as I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks. I hope there's lots of BFPs in my absence. This weekend we're hopefully properly into the DTD, we managed a 4.00 am shag on Thursday morning after our row on Wednesday night! Today I've noticed some EWCM and I'm 12 days in so I'm hoping that OPK will be positive today or tomorrow and we'll need to get some shagging in this weekend as from Monday we'll be crammed into some tiny hotel room with DD aged 2.7 (and there's no way I'm doing it while she's in the room!).

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Fri 28-Jun-13 15:58:36

Ah, shit, sundance. I'm glad I have no tests left in the house or I might be joining you. Used them all up randomly checking last pregnancy. <<ignores desire to pee on OPKs instead>>

Feeling a bit shaky today, but that isn't unusual for me pre-AF. Just obsessively symptom spotting...

Good luck with the SWIing squiggly. Hope you get ovulation over and done with over the weekend, so you can avoid those awkward questions from sleepy DD!

GuffSmuggler Fri 28-Jun-13 18:34:22

Sorry everyone for a crap fertile Friday, I'm very happy to take the blame and be buried under smelly fish.

This means there will be a job lot over the next couple of weeks I know it! Keep positive everyone and watch some Andy Murray to cheer you up.

katatonic Fri 28-Jun-13 19:00:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Guff - Congratulations, great news. smile

I am not having a great day today (I suppose I am only 10 days post operation) but I feel so emotional, I could just cry. I think it started off with a scan picture announcement on facebook due the same month I would have been...hit me like a bus, and I don't normally care about things like that/doesn't usually bother me. I have only cried once since coming out of hospital, a few nights ago...I just sobbed and sobbed - you know the kind of crying where you are just loud/can't catch your breath. It felt good, I needed it.

I feel like I am having irrational thoughts - but I don't know if I am just going through the normal notions. Maybe some of you can enlighten me/tell me you feel the same...for example: I feel like life is shit. The only thing that will make it better is being pregnant again and having a healthy baby. But this is so selfish of me, because deep down I know life is not 'shit' I have a beautiful DD who I am so grateful for, so why am I so desperate to have another baby so much? Why do I feel so 'depressed'? I feel bad for feeling like this, but I feel like my only cure is pregnancy.

Moving on to my next point...I want to be pregnant, now. ASAP. I don't want to wait 3 months, 2 periods, whatever...I don't want to wait at all. I want to TTC immediately, as soon as I feel fit and well, and the hcg is out of my system. But deep down I know I need to let my body recover, and waiting does have it's benefits. But then I think...I only have one tube. What if the month I wait is the month my 'good side' releases an egg and I miss it! Plus...no one has actually told me anything about trying again. Not one medical professional has spoken to me on this matter. I am only going by what I have read on the internet. I am hoping to see the GP on Weds to answer a few questions.

I'm sorry for the self obsessed rant, but I just needed to tell someone, anyone. I know you all understand. I have posted on the 'Ectopic Support Thread' (2 days ago, still watching as the tumbleweed rolls past) so I'd prefer to stick with you ladies, plenty of chat to keep up with!

I just want to TTC again, so I feel I have that 'hope' every month. But I can't even do that yet sad my hcg levels were 31000 2 weeks ago, so I think it's going to take a long time to get back to zero. (Then I feel bad for wanting to TTC again already...sigh...)

Hope everyone is doing okay. xx

Badhairday76 Fri 28-Jun-13 20:42:40

Sorry for all the BFNs - it's so gutting! I am waiting until next Friday to POAS. I have had dreadful stomach bug this week and managed to convince myself it must be aggressive early morning sickness, but have since realised it was probably the norovirus. Grrrrrr.... Hope everybody has good weekends. X

katatonic Fri 28-Jun-13 20:58:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Badhairday76 Fri 28-Jun-13 21:06:51

Overanxious! I have just seen your post. You poor thing. I TOTALLY get how you are feeling and wanted to give you a huge virtual hug. I also know what you mean about nobody posting on the Ectopic Board which makes you feel more shit. I had a crappy day today as well and had to explain to a colleague exactly what an Ectopic Pregnancy was. He then said 'Oh, I didn't realise. I just thought you were being dramatic' and I could have punched him. Suffering an ectopic is HORRENDOUS and I think you have done brilliantly to have only had one good cry. I still have a good cry most months. I also know exactly what you mean about nobody really saying anything to you about conceiving again and believe that the truth is that although ectopics are becoming more common, they are still rare enough for alot of medical professionals to know very little about them. It's also tough for us cos there aren't many people in 'real life' who can sympathise cos they haven't been through it. I was told that I was 'lucky' they operated in time because my tube had already ruptured and I was bleeding out, but the loss you feel is a double whammy cos we've lost part of our fertility, along with our much wanted babies.

I felt ALOT better after seeing my GP. He reckons I probably got the Ectopic as a result of scarring from my C Section but they are alot more common if you've had any abdominal surgery, which made me feel better for having some kind if explanation. He also told me that I should wait for my first proper period after the op, then could try again. They say 3 months for definite if you've been treated with methoxdrate (that isn't the correct spelling, but the drug they use if they don't remove a tube) but the main reason they say 3 months is for you to recover emotionally. I bet your doc will say the same thing. remember that until v recently they used to say the same thing for a miscarriage.

I felt exactly the same as you. I wanted to start trying STRAIGHT AWAY - and I think that feeling is natural. I felt better once my first period was out of the way and, unlike some if the ladies on here, they came back exactly the same as before. I actually got pregnant again quite quickly but that resulted in miscarriage. I was really upset but (and I really hope this doesn't offend any if the lovely ladies on here) a tiny part of me was relieved that my other tube clearly 'worked' and that I could fall pregnant again. I've also been massively cheered by the news that according to a 10 year study of pregnancies in one tubed ladies, that 30% of those pregnancies are as a result of ovulation from the tubeless side. So there is hope for us.

Remember you are still recovering physically and you WILL feel better once those scars start to fade. I definitely did.

Feel free to message me personally if you like. And I do hope you feel better soon. Lots and lots of love and support to you, Lady xxxxxx

omama Fri 28-Jun-13 21:07:27

onelittletoddleterror - I wouldn't wish it on anyone either. I went to A&E as I just couldn't cope with the pain anymore, it was bloody horrendous & constant. Lucky I went when I did too as I started gushing as soon as I got there. The docs thought I might have a bit stuck in my cervix but couldn't get a look because of the blood loss. Anyway morphine & buscopan sorted me out & I passed it without pain later that day. Except it didn't all come out hence the erpc. Glad that ordeal is all over, definitely not one I wish to repeat.

Its sad to hear so many of us seem to have gone through similar, but I'm glad we have each other for support that its hard to find irl from people who mean well but can't possibly understand bc it hasn't happened to them.

overanxious - I think its normal to feel like things are pretty shit after what we've just been through. I had a pre-booked course last night & arrived to find I'd been placed on the same table & opposite a heavily pregnant girl. That was hard. Then today I spoke to an old friend who lives overseas, & she asked me 'when u gonna pop another one out? surely it'll be sometime soon?' without knowing just how long we've been trying or what has just happened. I gulped & changed the subject as I couldn't face saying it out loud & I knew she'd be mortified if I did.

I'm totally with you re the thoughts that the only thing that'll make you feel better is to be pregnant again. I can't imagine how hard it must be dealing with the extra issues that ectopic throws up too, so I think you have every right to feel the way you do.

Which leads me to how I'm feeling. Physically, I'm recovering & bleeding is slowing up. Had a teary day yesterday but feeling more optimistic today. I'm absolutely terrified of this happening again, but my desire for another baby outweighs the fear, so I think I'd like to get started as soon as bleeding has stopped.

Misspositivity Fri 28-Jun-13 21:10:14

over. You poor thing. Firstly there is no need to apologise for "self obsessed rant". You are free to say what ever you are feeling here and I know everyone will just want to support you.
You have so many hormones and grief on top it's no wonder you are having a wobble.
Someone said to me the other day (about another topic) "time heals almost everything you just have to give time some time" I thought so true though easier said than done.
None of us know what the future holds and all we have is hope that it will work out the way we want it and if it dosen't then at some point we will accept it and learn the joy of life with what we have. I hope!!
I hope you get some answers at GPs. Just remember what your feeling is normal. Big hugs. Go and look at your daughter sleeping and remember you are her world you carried her and you are amazing.

Penguinita Fri 28-Jun-13 21:34:15

Just checking in to see the POAS results - bummer for all those BFNs. Fingers crossed for next month.

Massive congratulations guff, but you know what's coming... <flying flounder> <SLAP> Well worth it though!

over, stay with us here, we'll talk to you lots (mostly nonsense probably). Did you know that there has been some research that shows you can still get pregnant from an egg from the ovary with the tube cut? Sounds weird but there is scientific research that proves it, take a look at the ectopic pregnancy support trust website if you want to read the paper. So try not to upset yourself too much about missing a month from the "good" side.

No POAS or DTD for me today as AF is still here. On the plus side, I've finally been discharged from the hospital as this week's blood test was a negative. No more being stabbed with needles, yay!

Badhairday76 Fri 28-Jun-13 21:47:44

Overanxious - do get your doc to do a blood test. I think your hgc levels will be really low by now, which will make you feel better. And those three scars on your abdomen will heal quickly which will make you feel better too. I've just been re-examining mine in the mirror. My belly button used to look like an upside-down penis after the operation - I kid you not! - but it looks fine now. Better than it did before cos it was all saggy after having my DS - I guess we get free belly button lifts as well! Am not trying to be flippant, btw, just make you feel better. And we all agree that miscarriages, ectopics and all pregnancy losses are TOTALLY F*CKING SHIT. As Misspositivity just said, just look at your beautiful little girl and keep your chin up, Missus x

<Wells up> You are all so lovely, thank you. thanks I knew talking to some of you on here would make me feel better.

kat You are right I do need to clarify the TTC again with my Dr, patience will be hard but it is definitely needed. Thanks for the much needed hugs and kind words. x

badhair Thank you for your really helpful post, I totally get what you're saying about Dr's not knowing all that much about ectopic, it's not as easy to find clear information either. I will PM you if I think of anything I could do with a chat about. x

omama It's horrible, isn't it? I don't want to tell anybody the truth about how I feel/what I'm going through, but equally hate putting on the smiley face and spouting the "Ohh hopefully soon, next year etc etc" I actually just feel like screaming at them! I am glad that you are physically starting to feel better, teary days are good as it means you are not bottling it all up. I felt that I started to feel much better once the bleeding had all stopped after my first MC. x

misspositiv Thank you for your truly lovely post, I have just peeked at my sleeping beauty and had a little smile remembering that I have carried and birthed a healthy baby once, I pray/hope that I can do it again...x

penguin Yes I have read that about the tubeless side/egg, seems bizarre and almost unbelievable but I suppose it is an extra glimmer of hope. wine for you for finally being discharged, and the start of your next journey...wishing you lots of luck. x

badhair Blood test is a good idea, to give me some idea of where I am at. I'm not too fussed about the scars (not the physical ones anyway!) my belly button was already scarred from a belly button piercing...they are still quite sore though. Everything I've read seems to suggest that the soreness/pain dissappears within a few days, but I am still quite bruised and definitely very aware of my scars to the touch - were you the same? x

Badhairday76 Fri 28-Jun-13 22:14:01

Yeah - it took me a while to wear jeans again cos the button used to rub me. I felt bruised and tender for a while but I was so much worse after my C Section that I felt the physical recovery was quite quick. My baby used to kick me in the stomach, which wrecked but it got better soon. I was in the most pain from having an ulcerated throat after having the breathing tube pulled out, to be honest. I never actually knew my hgc levels but after two nights in hospital, was told they had come 'right down'. They came down quickly after my miscarriage too, which was a natural one. Ectopic was at 7 or 8 weeks and miscarriage at 6 weeks. Unless you have any other complications I'm sure the doc will say you can try again as soon as you've had your first period. Fingers crossed for you. Some of the ladies on the Ectopic board conceived within 3 months, you know. Don't lose hope! I never phoned anybody at the Ectopic Trust but apparently they are really helpful and know alot more than the doctors. Maybe you could give them a ring?

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Fri 28-Jun-13 22:27:28

over, so sorry you are having a tough day today. The NEED to be pregnant ASAP really resonates with me. It was all consuming in the early days. But, after the first post-MC AF was out of the way, that feeling reduced a bit. It is still such early days for you, and you have been through such a lot - give yourself some time. Things will get easier flowers

alyant79 Sat 29-Jun-13 07:47:52

Oh over I hope you've woken up feeling a bit better this morning.
Try and do nice things if you can his weekend and make sure dh and dd spoil you rotten.

alyant79 Sat 29-Jun-13 07:49:33

Hooray for penguin gettin the all clear

RainbowConnections Sat 29-Jun-13 08:41:29

Over, sorry you've been feeling bad, glad you got such great supportive replies.

If it helps I relate to feeling guilt. I adore my DS but, for me, the terrible truth is right now he's not always enough to stop me feeling bad. Once he was my entire world and all I needed so feeling depressed feels like a terrible betrayal as his mother.

I cling on to the knowledge that these feelings will ease and I will feel happy about life again. Already i feel better than a week ago.  You've got a bigger physical recovery but you too will start to have brighter days. 

Definitely be nice to yourself. When i felt like moping i got new pjs, a beautiful new soft blanket and made the most of lying around. Being outdoors over the last week has been great for lifting my mood. 

I hope today is better xxx

fedupofrainydays Sat 29-Jun-13 08:43:42

Hi over
I was pretty similar (not the ectopic part but I have one dc and had a MMC and erpc) and felt horrific afterwards. So down and felt life was shit. OH didnt undrstand as we have a lovely child and great marriage, so what was my problem? It's the disappointment, the fear, and hormones raging round your body to name just a few. I was (and still am) desperate to be preggers again. And I did ttc straight away (well two weeks after op as suggested) but my body is taking time to recover I think. But the fear is still there and so many new babies and pregnancies in my face make it hard to deal with. I have 4 friends with babies due within a week of my EDD, which is rapidly approaching.

I think it's ok to feel like you do. So don't worry about those feelings and having a good cry (I do even now) is therapeutic. I don't think I cried enough at the time. Noone thinks you are ungrateful for what you have. I felt / feel the same and feel guilty for feeling like that.
I would do what you feel is right re ttc from what you can cope with emotionally.

Big hugs xxxxx

Floweroct Sat 29-Jun-13 08:46:18

Over sorry you're feeling so low all the ladies on here have given you some great advice.

Well no need for me to poas today af finally arrived yesterday evening - gutted!! So tonight I am mostly going to get drunk!!

RainbowConnections Sat 29-Jun-13 08:48:24

Yes, hurrah for your negative blood test Penguin.

Boo to bfns yesterday.

Kat i laughed about your DH being a hero to us for lying back being waited on and getting no effort lovin'! 

Hope everyone has a nice weekend

Tomkat79 Sat 29-Jun-13 11:38:21

Hormones..,what's the deal post MC?! I seem to only be 'ok' in the fertile window...otherwise I'm a miserable ol cow! Can't work out if cd 1-7 ish I'm anxious about ttc, then go for it and then this 2ww I'm like a bear with a sore head! Really snappy and low.

I don't remember feeling this bad before MC. And I'm absolutely boiling. Can't sleep beyond 4am either. Bleurgh.

Penguinita Sat 29-Jun-13 13:11:12

Yeah floweroct, that's the spirit! All of us with AF visiting should make the most of it tonight and party - I'll join in with you wine grin

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sat 29-Jun-13 20:07:10

Oh, flower, sorry AF got you. Enjoy your vino, onwards and upwards, and all that. I am dreading the arrival of AF, 15DPO today, or maybe 14, and no pregnancy symptoms spotted. But haven't the guts to do an HPT (and none in the house).

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 29-Jun-13 21:40:27

Flower, sorry about AF! sad
Over, HCG falls at roughly the same speed as it rises, so halviing every 2 days or so. Itll be down really quickly. {{hug}}
MrsFinch its not over till the aunty flows! grin
I have been working at a food festival today. There have been PG people EVERYWHERE! sad angry Tonnes of twins and huge bumps everywhere. Sometimes I hate my job! confused

Just checking in, sorry to hear no other good news since Guff...I am feeling ok now my 'window' is gone and we defo haven't DTD during it - how sad is this though, we did 5 days before I got a positive OPK and I then started googling sperm survival rates! I am actually a loony.

I agree with the pregnant people everywhere thing saggy just found out someone is at my work, she is 20 weeks and has kept it quiet till now. I don't think it has been easy for her reading between the lines, so I am happy for her of course but still have that jealousy in the back of my mind, my heart sinks when I think about seeing her at work everyday with a bump.

I am just focussing on the positive (hollow laugh) like being able to drink myself silly at the weekends and during the week if I can cope with a tiny hangover whilst teaching and being able to diet like crazy to lose a few more pounds, plus not having the stress of the 2ww, if we keep on avoiding the fertile days. Bloody difficult though, hormones being what they are that is all I want to do!

I agree with the moodiness, I am fuming the majority of the time it feels like. I wish someone could give me a pill to stop me thinking about it.

SeasideLily Sun 30-Jun-13 18:41:44

Hi everyone, so my two month Not Trying is over and we've had one round of TTC again, in the evil 2ww now. Been catching up with everyone's posts over the last few days - what a busy thread!

Fab to read the great news, and heartbroken for those who have gone and returned since I left. So so sorry.

Those talking about acupuncture - I've been at it for a few months now. Crucifyingly expensive, but she's said to be a miracle worker, so fingers crossed - and I'm feeling much calmer now, whether as a result of her work I don't know.

It's been really poignant reading posts from those of you who've been through ectopics - over and badhair (sorry if I've missed anyone on this huge deal). Emotionally, I started collapsing after a couple of months TTC again; I think it was only then that it hit me what I'd lost, and that it would be harder to get it back minus a tube. So comforting to read that 30% of pregnancies happened from the tubeless ovary though, thank you.

So, it's POAS day on Friday. I'm not expecting anything, though we have been at it during the appropriate times this month, so it's theoretically possible. I had pains on the left side though at ovulation time, which is the side I lost the tube on, so I'm thinking it's unlikely. I'm away for a long weekend though, so I'm holding on to the fact that I'll be able to drink for it! I've been off the booze since end of last AF, and DH has sooo kindly joined me on my booze-free time. Misery loves company and all that. So, basically, gagging for a wine ! flowers to you all for being here, for what you've all been through, what we're all going through, and for being so great and supportive.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 30-Jun-13 19:18:49

Ill be POAS with you Seaside. <<links arms>>
I've been working today. The thermometer in my van said 35 degrees!!!
Just once, for a tiny wee moment, I was relieved that I wasn't 7 months PG today in the awful heat. Then I felt really bad for thinking that!

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sun 30-Jun-13 19:43:26

Well, my temperature took a bit of a nosedive this morning, so AF will be here tonight or tomorrow sad Cried like a baby. Then put on a happy face and went to the naming ceremony, which was lovely and not at all full of pregnant people shock

missmakes, re. googling the sperm survival, that little teeny tiny minuscule hope is such a killer, isn't it?

I am exactly the same. My BBT has dropped below the coverline, a sure sign that AF is imminent, but some small part of me is still thinking 'yes, but maybe, just maybe....'.

It seems that no matter what glaring, klaxon-blowing NOT PREGNANT signs I get, no matter how hard my head is saying 'not this month', a little piece of my heart is always whispering 'maybe...'.

I am an optimist though, which is good I suppose. It's a bloody rollercoaster. My BBT has dropped, but I do have wine. Hoorah!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 30-Jun-13 20:10:22

FFS! I'm spotting. A fucking whole SEVEN DAYS EARLY! angry

SeasideLily Sun 30-Jun-13 20:10:52

Looking forward to it saggy - your shagathon this month has been monumentally impressive, particularly after 12 hour working days! All fx that your...hard work...is productive.

I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I am definitely not in tune with my body. I've been sure I have all the symptoms, then AF swoops in on her broomstick. Even the 'boobrometer' has let me down. Was positive they were bigger, but no. The time I was pg they grew noticeably (they've got a lot of catching up to do!) so that was my failsafe clue, and not even that's reliable any more. So I'm just giving up, and trying to look forward to having a glass of wine to cry into ...

SeasideLily Sun 30-Jun-13 20:11:30

NO saggy! Awful cross post timing, sorry! Not implantation? Argh, fucking fuck.

alyant79 Sun 30-Jun-13 20:23:51

DDMF i'm sorry about your temp going down, I know just what you mean about clutching at straws. Even after AF leaves I usually think, ooh, maybe it was just a implantation bleed. Stupid.
missmakes i know you don't need any encouragement for hopeful thinking, but if you dtd the day before your positive ov signal you really do have a chance.
good to see you back seaside

i've had a lovely day hanging out with friends, including a few preggos. Everytime I see them and their bumps are bigger it's like a kick in the guts. But then i try and forget about it and just have a good time. A few glasses of wine helped with that. grin

today i got a faint band on my opk, right on schedule. guessing that tomorrow will be even stronger. not sure whether to do the 3 nights in a row that smep calls for from tonight or tomorrow night. but tonight is meant to be on anyway, so i guess it's academic. we'll go for as many nights as we can! prob just one

alyant79 Sun 30-Jun-13 20:25:48

oh saggy what?!?!?
could be implantation? 7 days is a LOT early

alyant79 Sun 30-Jun-13 20:27:40

of course seaside it's not good that you're here instead of being up the duff, but you knew what I meant, right?

wine in the sunshine might have gone to my head

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 30-Jun-13 20:28:00

sad fuck knows!

Badhairday76 Sun 30-Jun-13 20:59:45

Hello everybody - saggy - I am spotting too, one whole week early and am trying not to think it might be an implantation bleed. But it might be, mightn't it?! Am keeping fingers crossed for us!

I just went to a lovely BBQ but was v abstemious and didn't drink. Am sure all my pals will think I'm already up the duff. Am also consoling myself with the thought of wine next weekend if the dreaded AF shows up on schedule.

Hello to seaside - thanks for your kind thoughts towards us post-ectopic, unitubed gals. Over - hope you feel a bit better today.

We had a niceish day at the beach today (even though we encountered three accidents on the way there and back) and DD did make me feel really happy for a bit, she let us have a lie in this morning and has been mostly lovely and funny all day, sometimes I do think do I really want to do the newborn thing all over again - then I saw a tiny baby at the beach and remembered how lovely it all is. Mostly.

Alyant we DTD on the Friday, I did have symptoms of ovulation but didn't get a positive OPK until Tuesday, then again Weds, which ties in with my cycle - so I don't think we would have anything but a tiny chance from that. We did try Sunday but DH (ahem) wasn't up to it...TMI but I think losing his job has really hit him for 6, he is very worried. I did sit down and work out that by really tightening our belts and only spending what is absolutely necessary we could get by on the money he was given for redundancy and my wages for 6months, we also have some savings - but he doesn't seem convinced still.

I am kind of the mind to wait another month or so, then try to persuade him to start TTC again.

Dearly You're right, The hope thing is a killer, even though I know there isn't a chance this month and I know that when I got pregnant the last two times I felt it practically straight away, sickness and sense of smell etc, but I still will be symptom spotting in a week or so, you betcha. Glad I am not alone...I am also an optimist. However trying my best to be a pessimist, as I just spend my life constantly disappointed. Pessimists probably get a nice surprise every so often, surely?!

Probably best I am not allowed out in polite company. So even though we are officially Not Trying can I stay?

alyant79 Mon 01-Jul-13 08:48:40

of course you can stay missmakes!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 01-Jul-13 11:15:08

Well my spotting appears to have stopped. I don't care right now though. Just got word that a friend has been missing since Saturday. She's tiny, and not always physically well and we don't have any details. Really not sure what to do!

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Mon 01-Jul-13 11:15:10

Fingers crossed for badhair and saggy smile

AF got me this morning, but up until late last night I was still thinking 'perhaps that thermometer is faulty...'. Silly really, but hope has to be a good thing surely. And I'm sure I'd be gutted by the arrival of AF even if I had been more realistic of our chances. A little bit of optimism makes the