I get knocked down, but I'll get knocked up again, cos you're never gonna keep me down... The big fat posifrickintivity thread for people TTC after MC.

(995 Posts)
SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 11:25:35

I thought I'd start the new thread and earn some brownie points with the posifrickintivity Gods... grin

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 11:34:35

The threa rules cut and pasted from the last one:
For all of the newbies, here are the thread rules courtesy of Santa:
POAS Rules
<<usurps thunder's dictatorship complex>>

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night. <<glares at Janie>> <<feels bad in case Janie lives in Australia>>
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative <<refuses to admit that's what I'll do>>
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

By the way, welcome (not that that's quite the right word, but you know what I mean) to all the other ladies who so sadly find themselves here. Its great fun, everyone is lovely and not at all psychotic!

GuffSmuggler Fri 03-May-13 11:36:08

Thanks saggy here's to a BIG BFP thread!

Congrat mummy that's great news grin Feels like the thread has picked up some good positive vibes again after a bit of bad patch for everyone.

sal I think there are a few of us in AF sync so the next couple of weeks are going to be sore blush Although I'm trying to kick the evil witch out the building still so still limbering up for the big push ha ha.

GuffSmuggler Fri 03-May-13 11:37:26

Anymore POASers today??

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 11:37:31

Old thread here
There! I think that's everything. smile
<<gets out knitting>>
<<settles in to wait for everyone else>>

Well done saggy,

Actually I'm thinking the time may have come for me to leave this thread. You are all a lovely bunch and the support here is fantastic, but I think there comes a time when being the only one left from when I joined in November is telling me something!

So I wish you all the very best luck and hugs for support now and for the pregnancies to come. If you look at our stats there must be an average of only a couple of months max ttc before graduating so I know you'll all be moving on very soon.

Thank you for all your kind words and support over the months. thanks thanks

alyant79 Fri 03-May-13 11:51:38

mummy that's great news! wowee....

thunder it will be sad to see you go. you're always full of so much support. But I can see your point, it is hard to see everyone else sailing off into the sunset with bfps. I'll miss you!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 12:41:01

I'm still here Thunder! Don't leave! We will ALL get there in the end!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 12:42:33

We are just the people who take a bit longer. You need those to make an average!

katerinaemalina Fri 03-May-13 13:00:13

Well done mummy lets hold hands together. I am still pregnant today. That's my mantra. But every little crampy or back ache feeling sends me to the loo to check.

Thunder don't go! You are lovely hmm

Lieslvontrapp Fri 03-May-13 13:01:52

Stay thunder! I miscarried in december so not long after u. And i reckon at this rate ill be here for a while yet. Your time to graduate will come soon!

Emki Fri 03-May-13 13:23:37

Thanks for new thread! Congrats to mummy - don't leave thunder - I'm still here -AF arrived today finally after 101/2 weeks since erpc - have nt even started ttc yet - please don't go - it is hard but our time will come!! Patience is one of the hardest things!!! Xxxxx

Bakingtins Fri 03-May-13 13:31:34

Thanks Saggy.

Thunder don't go! I've been here since September, there are still some of the old guard around. I'll be keeping my seat warm here though hoping this time I won't need it again. If you leave we will have to stalk you to see how you are doing, and you are so close to having your thyroid sorted and being back in the game. Take a break if you must, but promise you'll come back and report in. I TTC for 12 cycles for the baby I lost in September, then 5 cycles for the one I lost in March, so my BFP was a surprise this time, and if it has in any way made you feel worse I am so sorry sad. It is really hard to see people "jump the queue" but we are reserving a massive cheer for when you get your BFP.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 13:56:08

I know how you feel Thunder when I see newbies or people I was on the antenatal thread get BFP it really twists my gut. If you leave us, who will you have to hold your hand? I can't think of anything worse than being MNless through this! Nobody out here gets it!

Floweroct Fri 03-May-13 14:06:23

Thunder I've been here since December too! I know what you mean though I was on another thread on another forum for ttc and its so hard to see people come on and get a bfp in no time. I don't really go on it anymore, 20 months in and nothing to show for it sad But we'll be thinking of you if you do disappear.

Liking the new thread congrats to any bfps that I've missed at the end of the old thread. Here's hoping for a few more over the next month smile

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 03-May-13 15:10:56

Checking in. I think we ended the last thread with lots of good news. Thunder I hope the bfp fairy dust will give you the good luck you needed.

I am not on the ttc buses anymore either. I've been trying since september. I know it's not long compared to others. I have two MCs to show for my efforts. I think DH and I haven't got problems getting bfp. But we have major problems with getting it to stick.

I went to the doctor surgery to talk about my haemoglobin levels today. I'm still anemic from all the blood loss I had from the mc. So I got more iron tablets. Have any of you been prescribed iron tablets? They make you constipated and give black stools. The constipation is even worse than the 1st trimester angry.

Anyway at the surger, I actually picked up a card for the fertility clinic sad. I know DH won't agree with me to go to seek help. But I'm actually feeling this low.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 15:18:43

OLTT apparently Berocca? Is good for an iron level boost.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 03-May-13 15:27:40

Saggy my red blood cell count was down to 90 (not sure what unit), from nearly 140 when took my bloods at 11 weeks. I'm on some heavy duty stuff prescribed by the doctors. It's 200mg ferrous sulphate, twice a day. The GP said I probably lost 3-4 pints of blood. I am thinking it must be more. I remember clots the size of sea breams coming out. (Sorry if it's TMI). The doctors and my DH thought it's funny I described the clots like fish. But they haven't seen how they bounce off the toilet bowl or pan when they came out! It's just like fish out of water.

However, the doctor did mention vitamin C can help with the absorption of iron. I bought some chewable vitamin C tablets on the way back to work. Now you mentioned it, I probably should have got berocca. It looks like it's got all the extra vitamins that I really should be having. And also a nice amount of folic acid. 366ug is nearly the amount we should be taking for ttc isn't it? I've stopped taking the pregnacare because it contains iron. I really don't want more of it.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 15:41:41

Lol@ sea bream! <<in a sympathetic way>> is it wrong to want to have seen that? confused
Sounds like you need all the help you can get!

Emki Fri 03-May-13 15:48:27

Floradix is good iron absorption too - I'm a veggie and have been advised to take it x

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 03-May-13 16:02:57

It was really scary seeing how much blood I was losing. It was like a leaky tap, with occasion huge fish sized clots. I was given an IV drip because of the blood loss before my (emergency) ERPC. I never thought an MC could be so dangerous. My first MC was just like a bad period. I can't help thinking if I wasn't in a place like the UK (with good medical facilities), I could have died. I felt even stronger about the Indian who died in Ireland after a 4 day miscarrage. I know it wouldn't happen to me over there because my scan showed only an empty sac. But before this I couldn't have imagined how scary and serious this is.

Sorry for that rant. It's only 2 weeks since the ERPC so I still feel sad about it.

Looking on the bright side, it's a long weekend and I don't have work on Monday wine. And yes I could have some wine grin

Chipschipschips Fri 03-May-13 16:24:40

Hi, I MCd 11/04 so not sure when to POAS but I reckon if I don't come on by Fri 17/5 I'll do a test - what do you think?

Chipschipschips Fri 03-May-13 16:26:31

Also, what are people's views on drinking? Do you all stop around ovulation time?

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 03-May-13 16:54:20

chips are you charting? Like bbt or ewcm? I learned from this thread anything is possible on cycle 0. Though myself was only 1 week late on my first mc. If you are charting then you could work on the principle that AF is due 14 days after ov.

I didn't stop drinking until bfp for DD. but after my first mc I stopped at ovulation because I got paranoid about it. I don't want to jinx anything. Didn't do me any good though as I had a second mc.

Sapphireday Fri 03-May-13 17:23:03

Do stay with us, Thunder, you'll be sorely missed otherwise.

OLTT when we first started ttc my DP was anti-infertility treatment - he's very 'Darwinian' and assumed that the genes weren't good enough to continue into the next generation if you couldn't conceive naturally. However the months passed with absolutely no sign of pregnancy and those initial somewhat superior thoughts were no longer voiced!

Anyway, we had to ttc for two years before a referral to the infertility clinic. It took a while to get treated, but after 3 years I finally got a bfp from my first cycle. Unfortunately the little one lost its stickiness in March, but were already on to our next cycle and full of hope. At least we know we can conceive now, which we had our doubts about.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't make assumptions about the response from your DH without talking to him, and there is help out there for all types of infertility problems. I appreciate that we have different problems but infertility specialists can work wonders - I work with a woman who has repeated miscarriages but managed to have a baby three years ago with lots of monitoring and injections (as well as having a son who is 10). You just need to put yourself in front of the specialists and get them to consider your specific fact pattern. Please don't give up hope yet!

PurpleGeekyGirl Fri 03-May-13 17:40:48

Chips I don't stop drinking at ovulation time. I just carry on as normal in the hope not thinking about it will make it happen. It hasn't yet wink

Thunder totally understand if you need some time out. I left the boards at Xmas because I was obsessing too much and the break helped my sanity levels.

Is anyone else fed up with taking folic acid everyday to no avail? I'm trying so hard to be zen about things but am definitely fed up at the moment! I'm 39 and went through a real period of I don't want another baby with such a large gap all this week... BF will make a fantastic dad but I'm so torn with what to do. Obviously if I got a sticky BFP I'd be over the moon but I am trying to come to terms with it not happening too and counting the blessings I do have. Doesn't help that ex is getting remarried tomorrow..! Woe is me yadayadayada.

MrsExcited Fri 03-May-13 18:16:17

New thread! I might manage to stay upto date with this one.

Still no sign of af or bfp 7 weeks since erpc now and getting a tad bored of waiting for some sign that am still fertile!!

Thunder, you have todo what is right for you! I have found myself increasingly lurking here than actively posting as it is hard to stay positive. Good luck on your jouney.

Thanks for the congrats ladies - think its sinking in!

I really hope I haven't upset anyone by putting my BFP news on - I honestly didn't expect to fall pregnant so soon after my miscarriage in Feb. I was hoping to stay on the thread for a bit if that's okay - I'm just so scared after last time.

I hope everyone is enjoying the lovely weather - sunshine on a bank holiday weekend - unheard of normally!!

alyant79 Fri 03-May-13 21:18:08

mummy you have to post bfp news. What else are we here for afterall?

chips I don't stop drinking entirely after ov but I do try and cut down a bit.

Emki Fri 03-May-13 21:47:25

What about coffee? Do people stop drinking coffee when ttc? I carry on with wine and coffee but keep it to a minimum

mrsexciited I just for AF 10 weeks after erpc - got tell you what a relief it is - I went for a scan 10 days ago and that was a great help as they could tell I just ovulated so if you're going crazy waiting see if you can book in for a scan at the epau x

mummy it's fab news and gives everyone hope - huge congrats xxx

So now that ill be ready to ttc soon I'm going to get a massage and reflexology and try and be as calm as possible grin eek!!!!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 22:09:25

The thing is, this thread IMO is here for the good and the bad. This is, in my world, the only place I can say what I feel for better or worse. When someone posts about their BFP, I do feel jealous, gutted but I also feel like that's one more down and a step nearer to my turn. I don't know how I would cope without you lot to witter at. When I mention babies out here in real life, people get a kind of "here she goes again" look in their eyes. Apparently it's ok to be PG by accident, but to try for a baby when you are 38 is daft and you need to get a grip and enjoy what you already have! Please don't anybody stop posting about anything, even BFPs. You keep me sane! grin

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 22:11:30

Emki until 4 weeks?? The embryo is independent from the mother. Afaik what you eat has minimal cross over to the baby.

Topslou Fri 03-May-13 22:29:25

Evening ladies. Thanks for setting up the new thread saggy.

Congrats on the BFP mummy, great news.

Thunder - dont leave us. Why don't you take a few days/weeks away? I did this at the beginning of April as really needed to sort my head out and think of something other than babies for a while and it really worked and I'm feeling much more positive. I did miss everyone tho.

My planned sexfest this week has not worked out quite to plan. I was thinking twice a day while we were away and once a day when we got back and we must have only managed 5 times all week. Hoping that one of them was at the right time. I will be poas on 17th May. Just the horrible 2 ww to endure now. Thinking lots of positive thoughts and using my nervous energy to boost my get bikini ready fitness campaign.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 03-May-13 22:32:21

only managed 5 times all week
Fecking hell! grin

Topslou Fri 03-May-13 22:51:32

That's more times in a week than we do for the rest of the month do think I've worn him out!

Oh my days - 5 times in a week is an immense effort!! We managed 4 times (and that was a stretch) and after that DH almost looked almost scared / worried if I came towards him!!


SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 04-May-13 00:00:58

We managed 5 times last cycle! DP accused me of being sex crazed! confused

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 04-May-13 07:26:52

I read somewhere that every other day is optimum as it gives sperm a chance to save up. No idea if that's true but it might be worth looking into if only to rescue DHs!

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 04-May-13 07:30:03

Quick google search later...

Though other research says every day!

Ariel21 Sat 04-May-13 08:51:51

Wow - all these BFPs! Well done mummy and kat and anyone else I have forgotten!

Hope everyone has a lovely bank holiday weekend.

I still can't wait for AF. Am currently googling stats to see if you really have to wait or whether we should just get shagging...

Hi everyone,

Firstly thank you for the lovely messages and you are all right about this being a great place to be.

Secondly, I really really don't want anyone to feel bad about getting a bfp here- I really am genuinely thrilled for my friends here to graduate and hopefully to have successful healthy pregnancies. It's not your good news that makes me feel bad, it's my situation!

I won't disappear then, I might go quiet for a bit but I'll be here in the background waiting for the good news and butting in when I can't not

On that note- iron supplements, use SPATONE! It's great- natural iron-rich water in sachets so you don't get the side effects. I think you can get it prescribed in some places too.

And in my news, my thyroxine dose has now been increased a bit. The doc said if I wasn't ttc she would happily leave it as it is, so I'm pleased she and I both have the same goal.

thanks to you all lovely ladies.

(ps give up coffee/wine in 2ww?! I don't think so!)

BirdsDoIt Sat 04-May-13 09:47:33

Congrats mummy!

thunder do stay - or come back once you've had a bit of time off as topslou says - myself I'm settling in for a long stay, as it took me 9 months to get first BFP.

ariel we've thrown caution to the winds and got going before first AF - though we're taking more of a 'when we feel like it' approach than before, when we were ttc - will be going back to every other day once I had first AF as have better idea of what my body's doing. Though I have v irregular periods so never really know!

Right, off for the weekend now - hope you all have a lovely bank hol and see you Tuesday! X

BirdsDoIt Sat 04-May-13 09:49:02

Sorry crossed posts, thunder glad to see you're still going to be lurking!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 04-May-13 10:07:28

There was talk a couple of threads back about the sperm meets egg plan. It's supposed to optimise your chances. It's easy to find if you google.

katerinaemalina Sat 04-May-13 10:12:30

Thunder your post has just made cry. I hate all this. It's so unfair. Why has this happened to us all? I was so naive before started trying, didn't even think stuff could go wrong, and that desperate feeling of wanting a baby so much. Even though I don't post much mn has been lifeline for me, and still is. I'm v relieved to have bfp of course but I'm now absolutely rigid with fear about it all happening again. And there is nothing we can do about it other than keep trying. I KNOW we will all have healthy babies. The evidence out there is weighed in our favour. And in the meantime we can help each other not go as mad as we would without mn! I cant and dont want to talk to anyone in rl about it, they all say the wrong things, so this thread has really reassured me and made me feel far less alone. I hope you all have lovely bh and the sun spreads some baby dust magic xx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 04-May-13 10:13:29

here do and I did it the first month. It nearly killed him! and me!

Ariel21 Sat 04-May-13 10:23:33

Just read the SMEP. Sounds complicated. Might just attempt every two/three days as we did before. Even that was a challenge! We managed it the first month and I didn't all pregnant. Second month we only DTD four times all month as we were really busy and I got a BFP. I don't understand it!

JBrd Sat 04-May-13 15:53:37

Hello everyone, and congrats to all of those with the recent BFPs! Can't believe how quickly some of you have gotten pg again, am quite envy, but nonetheless very happy for you! Wishing you all very sticky beans flowers

thunder please continue to lurk! I can understand completely how you are feeling! Do take a break from it all, if you feel that you need to, but don't forget that we're here if you need us.

I'm waiting for the first af since my mc... but it actually looks as if I'm about to ovulate - nice watery ewcm in the last few days, and had a positive OPK today, which I'm rather pleased about! I had started to loose confidence in my body a bit... But it seems as if everything is starting to fall back into place.
Doubly pleased because we dtd first time since the mc this morning, without any thought about ttc, but now it looks as if the timing is just right! I might just continue like that over the next couple of days wink

Chipschipschips Sun 05-May-13 09:21:53

Interesting reading that SMEP, it says even if you get everything timed perfectly you still only have a 1/4 chance of getting pregnant. Is that true? Or is that 1/4 chance of a successful pregnancy?

Sal1977 Sun 05-May-13 17:24:53

I think it's a 25% chance of actually getting pregnant chips. You then have about a 50/50 chance of getting to a BFP point and then once you have a BFP (ie a confirmed pregnancy) you then have an 80% chance of a successful pregnancy.

It's any wonder anyone was ever born!!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 05-May-13 20:32:40

Well Sal they do say that million to one chances happen nine times out of ten! grin

fod27 Sun 05-May-13 21:05:51

Sat in my car over looking a lake at sunset......romantic right? Well it would be if DF and I hadn't been arguing for a hour about the loss of our child.... We were doing so well and now I feel so alone, I don't know how much more if this I can take, I've got noone that I can talk to about this I feel trapped in my own personal hell... Everyone thinks I should be over it by now, I haven't even started to grieve

nearlyreadytopop Sun 05-May-13 21:14:34

hi, im going to be brave and ask to join you all.
I had a mc at 6weeks last Aug. Amazingly pregnant again straight away. Another mc, this time at 17 weeks in Jan. Bit of a mess up by Doc and I needed an ERPC at start of March. Now 9 weeks on and still no AF. I did poas and its negative.
Doctor said to wait for one cycle before trying again but I don't have the patience!!
I also have pcos so longer cycles are normal.
Is there anything I can do/take (apart from lose some weight) to bring on a period?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 05-May-13 21:52:04

Fod have a big hug Hun. {{{{}}}} it's so hard being where we all are. I have no advice to offer, just a squeeze and a sympathetic ear. It's why I love this thread. No hiding, no pretending, just say how you feel.
It's so wrong that people don't talk about grief in real life. Especially women. There are SO MANY women out there who go through this, and it is still not spoken of.
You will get through this. X

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 05-May-13 21:56:14

Nearly welcome. sorrythat you find yourself here. there's nothing I've heard of sadly. It's just a case of sit and wait. After 9 weeks AF surely can't be that far off. It is absolutely shite waiting, but there's no reason generally that you can't get started TTC in the meantime.

nearlyreadytopop Sun 05-May-13 22:22:43

thanks Saggy, fingers crossed it comes soon. I bought some ovulation pee sticks but Im not sure when to use them because everythings a bit up the left atm.

Fod im sorry. nothing useful to say really just a hug and some wine

fod27 Sun 05-May-13 22:30:00

Thanks guys, nothing anyone can say I suppose just wish my DF would say something...anything....we can talk for hours about nothing but anything like this and he's dismissive of the whole thing, my friends and family are in the "I'm sick of hearing about it mode" theres only you guys left to talk to.. Not that your the last resort or anything

nearlyreadytopop Sun 05-May-13 22:35:17

I think I read something on the miscarriage association website about how men deal with mc. It might help.
Its very hard to move on when everyone else expects it. Am amazed at how insensitive some people can be. No one know how we feel inside and there are ups and downs. Personally I don't think I will ever 'get over it' but I will learn to live with that gap where my babies should have been.

Topslou Sun 05-May-13 22:45:49

Fod, I know how you are feeling. After feeling really positive for the last few weeks I've hit a really bad patch over the last 24 hours and its taking every ounce of energy I have to smile at DP and not break down in tears. Normally I would but he's working away for a week from tomorrow & I don't want him fretting about me while he's away.

With my last mc every one was so supportive but with this one it's barely been acknowledged and I feel like I have no one to talk to in RL. You ladies are all fab but I just want someone to have a bottle of wine with and talk it all through. My two friends I could normally do that with are both due within days if when I was and although they keep saying that there for me I really don't want to discuss it with them and cause them any more worry about their pregnancies.

Hoping that I will snap out of this phase as quickly as I fell into it, all it took was an innocent photo on Facebook of my friend & her baby. If that's what a photo does hate to think what it's going to be like when all these babies start arriving in September & October if I'm not pregnant again. Y then!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 05-May-13 22:47:55

I get the same from DP. Every time I mention the MC, or TTC, or anything related, I get the hmm... Or the uh huh... Or the nod and state into the distance. I can accept it though, because DP was really supportive, and has once or twice mentioned how hard it is when the young girls at work announce a PG, or talk babies. What really hurt was my Mum. I got the "it was maybe for the best" speech, and as MC was also ectopic, I suppose it's true, but when I told her recently we were trying again, she was really negative. Apparently it was one thing when I was already PG by accident, but totally another to be deliberately planning to get PG and I must be mad and am a slave to my hormones! sad that was really hard to hear. Especially as she went through exactly the same scenario as me.

Fod - so sorry you are having a tough time Hun. I think men do deal with this differently - almost sooner than woman deal with it. My DH was sad when it happens but once the bleeding stopped it was like everything went back to normal and he wasn't sad about it anymore I know I have a BFP now but I still think that I would be finding out the gender of the baby I lost about now and things like that - I don't think I will ever not think about the one we lost.

Nearlyready - sorry you fond yourself on this thread - you will find lots of support on here

Saggy - sorry you haven't got much support from your mum - I got the "it was for the best speech" dozens of time and I know people were just trying to help but it really doesn't!!


fod27 Mon 06-May-13 09:45:12

I know exactly what you mean, my mum couldn't seem to care less...I'm sure she does, but she's so dismissive of the whole thing, today is a glorious day and I should be out enjoying it with family but due to rowing for 24 hours my DF messed me about all night and this morning so me and DC have missed the boat on that one, plus they've had to listen to us fighting, I think we've come to the end now tbh, he's been so hurtful its soul destroying, I think my time may have come to leave this thread...I need some real help in RL

Lieslvontrapp Mon 06-May-13 09:50:12

fod sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. I hope you find some help in rl.

Lieslvontrapp Mon 06-May-13 09:54:19

Welcome nearly sorry you find yourself here. After 9 wks I reckon af must be on its way soon. I waited 10 wks and heard a couple of people on here get to around the 10 wk mark too.

Oh fod :-( I really hope you find some help in RL - the miscarriage association have some really good links and info on their website. Please don't suffer alone though hun - come on here and talk to us anytime if you want to - we are all here for you xxxxx

Chipschipschips Mon 06-May-13 12:41:56

Don't know about anyone else but I was shocked at how terrible it was for me, it was devestating and I ended up having a full on panic attack a few days after, then I had to have a week off work to recover. The pain was awful too, I was a mess, and I was only 5 weeks so I feel for anyone who was further down the line.

Misspositivity Mon 06-May-13 12:54:11

Hi guys. Can I join

Just had my 2nd consecutive mc
Feb 10 weeks (booking app aagghhh)
April 5 weeks.

I have a dd 20 months :-))

Staying positive dusting myself off and going again

Good luck to everyone xxx

GuffSmuggler Mon 06-May-13 14:20:29

Oh fod I'm so sorry you're having a shit weekend sad Miscarriage takes a massive toll on relationships much as any other life changing event would. You need to keep this in mind, DH and I had a massive fall out some weeks after the miscarriage because of the pressure it caused and if you add the pressure of TTC into the mix it's a pressure cooking waiting to go off!!

Just try and keep calm and talk to each other when you are both calm about how you are both feeling and what you both need from each other.

I hope you're day gets a bit better.

Welcome to the newbies, sorry you find yourselves in this crappy situation but there is good support here.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 06-May-13 14:54:09

Have a huge hug Fod. Wherever happens we are here for you my lovely. You aren't alone. Xxxxxx

Bakingtins Mon 06-May-13 15:08:06

Welcome nearly, MissP you can join, but you may have to rename yourself MissPosi-fricking-tivity. I'm sorry for your losses, I've had 2 MC in a row and 3 altogether and it is shit.

Fod I'm sorry you are not getting RL support. I think blokes handle it v differently and don't have the same sense of losing a baby. They seem to write it off and move on very quickly. Have you thought about getting any counselling? Any chance he would go with you? Sounds like he needs some guidance in supporting you better, even if he doesn't feel the same need to grieve.

Misspositivity Mon 06-May-13 15:28:51

fod totally agree with bakingtins these men are built differently. They generally are very good at putting these things in boxes and not thinking about it again. Even though I think I have a fantastic relationship with my DP I have to be honest the 2 mc's are the most lonely thing I have ever felt, the 2nd more so than the 1st. It's either people think u should be used to it by now or don't know what to say. Hoping the sadness will pass in time. Keep the chin up.

bakingtins your right it is sh*t. But we are going to make it!!!! Sorry for your losses.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Mon 06-May-13 16:28:02

Hey to MissPositivity and Nearly. Sorry for your losses and for the fact you have to be here, but hope you settle into the thread and find it supportive.

Fod, so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time of it at the moment. On my nhs miscarriage leaflet (that I got about 60 copies of as people kept giving it to me every chance they got!) there was a number of a local counsellor attached to the hospital who I could call if I needed to talk. Any chance there is a similar service near you? Otherwise contacting the miscarriage association (as I think someone's already said) sounds like a good bet.. Getting more RL support sounds a idea, but please stick around here if you can and want to (or maybe you could start another thread and direct us to it if you don't want to post on this thread specifically).

This whole thing is just shit. I do think men find it shit too though, and haven't necessarily gotten over it easily just because some appear to have done so. I think some of them (and some women, not generalising) do put bad feelings/experiences in a little box (as someone said) and try to forget about it, and then feel vulnerable and upset when something happens which reminds them the box is there or even (god forbid) makes them open it (such as partner wanting to talk about it), so resist it/deny feelings; not because they don't care, but because they do. That's how I've understood some of my DHs past idiocy anyway! I hope that makes sense.

Lots of hugs to anyone needing themxx

fod27 Mon 06-May-13 16:42:36

Thanks for your support guys, what hurts the most is the fact that we should be pulling together and even after all was said and done yesterday he'd sooner let us row over anything and let me walk out tham talk to me, it is a very lonely place to be ;,( I may look into counselling as I've had to be so strong and put a face on everything, with my brothers cancer, my tests and loosing the baby

Conina Tue 07-May-13 00:33:34

Fod I'm sorry things are crap right now. I wish I had something more insightful n helpful to say to you x I do know from bitter experience two things. Firstly, many people will say absolutely the wrong thing when talking about mc. If I'm kind, I'll try to believe its simply an inability to empathise. Secondly - for me - my dp, no matter how much I love him and no matter how sweet n kind he is on many things - for me my dp is not the right person for me to talk to about my mc.

I'm new. Can I join? One dc, aged 2.9. Two mc. 1 at 7-8 wks last April, 1 at 11 wks at Christmas, MMC.l

Currently on day 29 / 30 of a 29-30 day cycle. Been feeling a few pg symptoms - nausea, sore chest, heartburn but also had cramping this afternoon. POAS yesterday and it was negative. Just thrown up though? I had HG when I was pg with dc, and thrown up early with all the pg... Actually - it's doing my head in. Properly feeling nauseous, even when I'm hungry, can't stand smells. If we were in an age without pregnancy tests, I would proclaim I'm pg but the test says no... With the 2 mc, it took a while for the second stripe to show and I'm just worried I'm there again. How daft - I can't even prove I'm pg (and with this cramping, I would normally state with the same level of conviction that I'll be entertaining AF tomorrow) and yet I'm worrying I'll mc?

I should just sleep and enjoy my dose of norovirus right grin

fod27 Tue 07-May-13 00:39:07

conina I felt the same last cycle, thought I was pregnant for sure, bought the easy tests and the late tests, but it wasn't to be I could have kicked myself for getting my hopes up as whenAF arrived it totally devastated me ;(

I hope it's not a similar experience tho as I'd love to just lurk here and see lots and lots of BFPs

GardenWorm Tue 07-May-13 06:38:01

Fod really sad to hear you are having such a crap time. I honestly think (whether we like it or not) it is different for men. Ultimately, and although logically I know this is wrong, I see the MC's as my failure i.e it was my body that was responsible for looking after the bean and it failed. I don't think men can even come close to feeling that (let's face it most think they have super sperm!). Also I don't think someone who has no physical experience of the hormonal shite that we go through (like the cycles after mc where we are hyper tuned into our bodies and think that the tingles and twinges are pregnancy when they are AF symptoms) can be on the same wave length as us in relation to MC and it's after effects. Yes they go through it as well emotionally but physically they don't and physically they don't go through the TTC mill either. Bit waffle but I think what I'm trying to say is try not to give up on him or the situation there are some things men just won't be able to understand as they will never experience it themselves, and if you can speak to a support group in RL then do. You are going through a whole load of shite at the moment with MC and your brother's illness, you are only human, ask for help in the RW. X

Conina Tue 07-May-13 06:41:10

fod I just think I'm going a bit bonkers. I know I'm setting myself up for a fall and so I've not got any tests in the house deliberately cos that way utter madness lies. I'll fairly sure I'll start AF today and I've just managed to convince myself to be sick!

And yet, I feel really really sick. I'm telling myself in the day that I've just eaten too much, but that doesn't work for right now...

Its far too early in the morning to be this far down a theoretical cul de sac... I'm annoyed with myself for getting in this position - "the test said negative, now just drop it" is what I'm saying loudly. No obsessing was part of my deal with myself for ttc.

You take care of yourself x

Bakingtins Tue 07-May-13 09:59:27

Just wanted to add some ((HUGS)) for fod and say that any one of the three heaps of crap you are dealing with at the moment would be enough to knock you way out of kilter, so with all three on your plate you must be really struggling. There is no shame in getting some outside help if you are not getting what you need from family.
Is there any news on your tests? How long do you have to wait for results?

alyant79 Tue 07-May-13 10:21:49

fod I've just tuned in after a couple of days off... I'm SO sorry that you're having such a rough, terrible time of it. I don't have any suggestions, but someone else said that maybe counselling might be a good idea? Sounds good to me.
I just want to add that I also feel like my DH doesn't really have a clue how I'm feeling. I try to tell him, and I've also told him that the fact that he seems completely fine and not sad at all make me feel like he's a complete and utter bastard being uncaring. I still don't think he really gets it. But how can he? It's not his body, not his hormones.
So in summary - can you give your DP another chance? It seems to be a common theme that they just don't understand, and perhaps we shouldn't expect them too. On the other hand, even if they don't really understand what we're going through they should still be able to offer a shoulder to cry on. It's the least they can do.

Welcome newbies

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 07-May-13 10:55:47

Conina I was in exactly the same boat as you last month. I went 8 days late with all of those symptoms, and there were a LOT of others around the pregnancy and conception boards.
As I said up there^^ I think it's to do with the sudden warm weather and the changes in the UV levels in the last few weeks.
I hope it's different for you though. A BFP on the thread is always nice. <<crosses fingers>>

GuffSmuggler Tue 07-May-13 10:57:25

Morning everyone,

Couple of days post AF and I'm itching to buy some OV sticks, haven't used them before and was trying to be "cool" about the whole TTC thing and make sure we DTD every couple of days in the approx OV timeframe which start this Thurs.

Rapidly not being cool though. Shall I just buy some sticks? Hmmmm <drums fingers>

Hope you're feeling a bit better today Fod x

GuffSmuggler Tue 07-May-13 10:59:50

It's enough to drive you crazy this 'am I, aren't I' bit, am not looking forward to that part.

Hope it's good news 'corina' but I know it's awful the not knowing bit.

alyant79 Tue 07-May-13 11:17:41

guff that's my plan - i think my "fertility window" will be approx wed to wed (ov on saturday maybe), so we're going to attempt to dtd every 2 days (or more if we feel like it) and see if it works.

if it doesn't work this month i might get some sticks though.

Rockchick1984 Tue 07-May-13 11:41:00

Hi all, I've been loitering around since my MMC last month but AF has been and (nearly) gone so I'm here properly now if you'll have me?

Guff I think I'm going to use OPK's this month just to check I'm ovulating etc, I've got some cheapies though as I don't want to spend a fortune! Used them for the first time the month I fell pregnant and learned I ovulated much later than I thought so they can be beneficial but I can see how easy it would be to get obsessive with them smile

GuffSmuggler Tue 07-May-13 11:41:16

alyant yes that was my plan, see what happens this month and then get a bit more technical next month. Ok, I think I'm going to stick with that (no pun intended).

There is going to be a lot of shagging over the next couple of weeks, I think a few of us are coming up to our fertile window.


Emki Tue 07-May-13 13:17:55

Hello all and sorry to see newbies but this is a great thread for sorting your head out

In reply to the person who is waiting for their first AF after erpc mine came after 10 1/2 weeks - I asked to go for a scan at 8/9 weeks and thAt helped as they could see I just OV so I knew that AF would be on its way.

So this will be my first month of ttc since mc - eeek!! Trying to not get anxious - was in this place a few months ago after my first mc but I do feel more relaxed a tiny weeny bit.... Ish .... Hoping for the best for all of us this month but trying to convince myself that its ok if it doesn't happen this month however it does matter and ill be in floods of tears

What nice things have people got planned this week??? We didn't post on Sunday so wondering if we should do it now....??? .. Xxxx

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 07-May-13 14:31:56

Hi all, room for a little one?

I had a MMC last month. Baby died at 11+4; medically managed MC on 26th April. Now name changed, and dusting myself off and ready to try again. Two DC already.

I'm building myself up to take a HPT to make sure it is negative. Feeling a bit blue about it all really, although a negative is a good thing, right?

And then hoping to convince DH to get back on that horse so to speak grin

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 07-May-13 14:34:15

PS Re. iron. Don't take your iron tablet with a cup of tea as that inhibits absorption. Try taking it with a glass of orange juice, as the Vitamin C aids Fe uptake.

alyant79 Tue 07-May-13 16:37:03

welcome mrsfinch: hopefully this will be the only time you're hunting for a bfn - at every other time you'll be disappointed, so you need to be a little bit pleased this time... it let's you know that you really do have a nice new house for a new little embryo to make its home in.

I was actually very happy with my first bfn post mmc. had a few dramas and in the end it was about 6 weeks after my first medical management that I FINALLY got a negative. I even danced a little jig. The hundreds four bfps i got post-mc, but before that bfn did NOT make me happy

emki good reminder re nice things. What is yours?
Mine is that I've got a date night with DH tonight and am going to the movies. and on saturday we leave for 2 weeks holiday in the sun, yeehah!

rockchick, I'm glad AF is on the way out for you.
guff I am limbering up grin

I have already calculated potential EDDs if I get pg this cycle or next. Trying to convince myself that if we miss out this cycle, next will be OK too - it's either the beginning or end of Feb: same month, so it's basically the same, right?? emki i will be in floods of tears too if it doesn't work this month

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 07-May-13 16:52:30

Am I the only person on here who dislikes the start of the month more than the TWW? The first few days after AF are so redundant! Ovulation should take at least a week after AF, The TWW is something to think about obsess over. The first few days are seemingly pointless! grin

Emki Tue 07-May-13 17:31:39

I feel the same saggy I'm just finishing up on AF and wondering when ill OV - feel a bit low too and really thought I'd be pleased to be moving on but all I see is a huge mountain to climb!!!! Again!!!!

Ooh aly well done - lots of things... I don't have anything yet ... I'm hoping to do a yoga DVD when dd gone to bed but not exactly looking forward to it ...... Think ill book a massage for Friday after work - yes I will! Anyone else doing something fun this week?

Welcome mrs finch and other new people, hope you're not here for long xxx

GuffSmuggler Tue 07-May-13 19:45:31

Oh FFS, had 2 days clear after a week of AF and it's come back again tonight, what is going on!?

Misspositivity Tue 07-May-13 19:46:28

Hello to new guys. I have just joined myself - sorry we all have to meet like this

Well bit of an update - had a routine blood check last week and have been called back to get more tomorrow (blood tests was only thing they could check until i have a 3rd miscarriage). It appears I have high potassium - not sure if this can cause miscarriages - possibly clutching at straws. Anybody any ideas???

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 07-May-13 20:04:29

Eat less bananas? wink

Bakingtins Tue 07-May-13 20:13:17

It's a very common error if they contaminated the serum sample with EDTA (anticoagulant from the haematology tube). They filled the tubes in the wrong order. Don't fret.

Emki Tue 07-May-13 21:23:42

guff grrr very annoying for you ! Fingers crossed it'll just be a final bit then all gone and you're ready to go! Cxx

Misspositivity Tue 07-May-13 22:40:46

Thanks bakingtins. Yes just spoke to my friend who is obs/gynae consultant she said the same and expects next test will be fine.
I think she finds it amusing that I have a different thought each week as to why I have miscarried twice. "my immune system is murdering my pregnancies" was probably my most random reasons.

saggy. I love banannas already trying to give up diet coke. Can't give up banannas too :-(((

Is anyone else getting acunpuncture? If so what do they think.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 07-May-13 22:54:09

Sorry. In actuality I have no idea about potassium! blush
I hope it gets sorted for you.

littlemisswednesday Wed 08-May-13 09:15:29

Just checking in to the new thread. AF due on Friday - trying not to get my hopes up too much again this month (although this is the first month since MC in October that the OPKs have registered any kind of ovulation, so this is at least positive even if its a BFN at the weekend).

Sorry to hear that it's been a bit turbulent for peeps this last week. I have to say that my other half has been amazing throughout, even though at the start I got very upset at how quickly I felt like he'd got over it. I kind of made myself accept that it just wasn't the same for him, and have tried to appreciate all the support he's given in other ways instead. As others have said, it can't possibly be the same for the men - that's what I come on here for, to lurk and occasionally post and get that support from people who DO completely get it smile. Thank god for the Internet!

After months of feeling rubbish, finally felt like I'd come out of the other side the last few weeks. Unfortunately my Gran died at the weekend and now I'm having to try very hard to stay positive and not let it drag me back into the spiral of stress/depression that I'd been in since October. I suspect that this was why it took so long for me to start ovulating again so don't want to go backwards now sad

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 08-May-13 09:37:49

I have a busy weekend and just caught up with the updates.

fod I'm so sorry to hear you had a tough time. Hope you are feeling better now and getting some support in RL. Most men can express their feelings very different from most women. I use most, because I'm a very logical person and in that respect I'm more 'male'. (And probably why I did science and work as an engineer). Anyway, what I'm saying is that I'm very good at compartmentalising my feelings. I went back straight to work after the MCs and had no problem putting on a brave and smily face. I can totally forget about it if I'm kept busy at work. However, I know I'm still mourning because I cry everytime I'm reminded of babies, or seeing siblings play together. Or even seeing DD playing by herself and how lovely it would be if she had a sister to play with. They bring back the feelings I've stashed away. I'm more prone to tears because socially I don't have to inhibit my feelings as a female. Men however have been conditioned their whole life not to cry.

To all the other new joiners. I'm so sorry you find yourself here.

As for me, I'm still on cycle 0, but have been charting and doing ewcm. I am seeing a dip in bbt this morning so I think I might be close to ovulation day. We BDed last night, and hopefully again tomorrow night. Either way, I will be happy for both AF or BFP this cycle. I'll just be relieved things are going back to normal.

Chipschipschips Wed 08-May-13 09:38:55

Can anyone give me a reason why I should/shouldn't POAS on Friday? I MC'd 11/04, bled for 10 days and haven't been using OPKs so no idea if I ovulated but the temptation to to test is overwhelming.

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 08-May-13 09:42:01

chips no reason at all if you have internet cheapies. The only thing you could lose out on is money, isn't it?

Rockchick1984 Wed 08-May-13 09:54:43

OLTT I'm very much like you - from the outside it looks like DH has taken the miscarriage far worse than I did. I can put on a brave face, get on with normal life, shut off the thoughts about my loss. DH wears his heart on his sleeve and will freely admit that he's struggling. It's only once a week or so DH has to deal with all my shut-off emotions exploding where we have tears, anger, the whole works! Once I've let the feelings out I'm fine again for a while smile

Chips I had a MMC and ERPC was 10/4, I've just had my first AF since so definitely worth you POAS on Friday. Have you had a negative test since the miscarriage to make sure your hormones are back to normal?

Chipschipschips Wed 08-May-13 10:07:22

OLTT good point, although I'd be tempted to use the First Response test I have in the cupboard, not the cheapo as that's the only test that gave me a positive last time.

Rockchick yes, I tested about a week after and it was negative. My levels never got particularly high, the blood tests I had peaked at about 400 and they told me they wouldn't do a vaginal scan unless it was 1000.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 08-May-13 11:21:48

Go for it Chips! smile sometimes POAS is the only thing that will stop my mind going round and round. sometimes it makes it worse

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 08-May-13 11:27:08

I have decided this month NOT to POAOPK at all. The not quite results were doing my nut! However, the extra long cycle and the AF from hell appear to have done some good! I actually fancy DTD this month, and I appear to have CM! There was hardly any before! confused So I'm really optimistic that things are lining up for me now. I feel now that things were still sorting themselves out up till now. <<trying to build a little posifrickintivity>> anyway, sorry for the TMI, as you were! [bush] grin

alyant79 Wed 08-May-13 13:04:18

go saggy and OLTT!

chips what else is POAS friday for?? POAS away, merrily... wink

littlemiss i'm sorry about your Gran. Do try and not let it get you down too much.

rockchick and OLTT I thought that I would be the same as you guys - when I first got pg I tried very hard not to get too excited, and kept reminding myself that the rates of miscarriage are so high but as soon as my tummy started getting big i let myself think that it would all be ok. Despite that mental preparation I wasn't expecting the hormonal crash immediately afterwards, and surprised myself by how upset I was am. But I keep it to myself: DH and one friend are the only one who really know. According to everyone else I'm perfectly fine

GuffSmuggler Wed 08-May-13 13:07:12

Right 'extra' AF seems to have left the building and hoping my stupid body starts getting ready to OV now.

Sounding good for you saggy I suggest you start limbering up with the rest of us.

chips deffo POAS Friday, why not!?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 08-May-13 13:34:18

Can I suggest for anyone who still gets down and weepy, that having a sneaky peek at the grads thread is a BAD idea! confused
<<slaps own face with fish>>
<<Starts doing warm ups and stretches>>

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Wed 08-May-13 15:12:33

Having a bad day today. POAS and got the good negative (following MMC on 26th April). Spoke to DH who now 'needs some time' before TTC.

I am furious and upset. This isn't because we lost the baby, it's because he finds TTC very stressful. Apparently lots of sex when not TTC is not a problem, but lots of sex when TTC is [hmmm]

Really fuming. It seems like he has made the decision for both of us. There is no compromise to be had is there?

The only thing that is getting me out of bed these days is the hope of getting pregnant again, and I feel like he's taken that away. But I feel unreasonable too. I can hardly force him. So that's that.


DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Wed 08-May-13 15:14:23

Yay for your EWCM, saggy. Bung some of that posifrickinivity my way when you get a minute.

Chipschipschips Wed 08-May-13 15:50:04

Couldn't even wait until Friday, well that was £7 wasted sad

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Wed 08-May-13 15:54:00

Sorry chips

Bakingtins Wed 08-May-13 16:05:23

Mrs F is that "needs some time" using contraception, or "needs some time" not trying, not preventing? Quite a lot of us have found that our DHs have found the pressure to (ahem) perform on demand, difficult. If it wouldn't be a disaster from his point of view if you fell pregnant you can always just not tell him it's the fertile window.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 08-May-13 16:38:53

DP was really struggling with the whole TTC thing. To the point of not being able to ahem keep it up! blush At times I was obsessive!
I seriously considered telling him I was back on the pill! blush blush
In a rare moment of clarity, I have decided that DP has taken the HUGE step of trying again, after a totally unplanned PG, and it isnt fair to push him to the point where his performace and then possibly his self esteem is affected.
What I actually did was what Tins suggests. Told him its not the right time, stopped him stressing. I have really backed off, like you getting PG again was/is my lifeline, but I was pushing too hard. I have ditched the OPKs, and am just going with the flow. Giving DP the chance to take the lead, and just let things happen. We generally DTD in the fertile window anyway, so it will happen in the end. In the mean time, things are much better between us, the baby shaped elephant has left the room, and I am throwing myself into other stuff to keep busy.
It is BLOODY hard. Some days are a real struggle, but Id hate for DP to turn round and say NO MORE.

We were all discussing upthread how men deal with MC. Your DH has seen you go through this awful painful traumatic time, and not be able to help you. He can probably see how upset you still are and he has to deal with that and his own feelings too. It must be hard.
(Not that I am backing his ruling, but in my current, non hormonal state I can play devils advocate a bit.)
Maybe a really good heart to heart would help?

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 08-May-13 18:54:23

saggy there is never TMI on this thread, especially posifrickingtivity news like ewcm. You are a brave woman to look at the grduate thread. I am definitely not ready for it yet. I can't even face the ttc buses. I feel safer here with people who can understand how hard it is to keep it together and act as normal as possible.

mrsf I also think your DH is still grieving. Your mmc is so recent. It is recommended not to actively try again until both of you feel emotionally ready. Like saggy I wonder if your DH would be happy to just shag but without protection. Basically take the pressure off and see what happens for a few cycles. It is a lot of pressure to perform at the right time.

Emki Wed 08-May-13 19:27:32

Hello all

Been reading the thread at work all day and been wanting to comment on so much! I feel that I talk about my mcs and ttc a lot less now because I'm on here - after my first mc at 20 weeks last year I felt so alone and my husband got the brunt of it and ttc was a nightmare- I was so stressed which stressed him out. I made the decision to not talk to him anymore about it - which was frigging hard! Then I asked him if he wanted to know when I was OV and he said yes, but this all took a couple of months for us to sort ourselves out - its so difficult.

Now we're doing again, after the second mc - and he is away!! GREAT!!! However hoping that I'll OV end of next week (if my cycle is back on track - which it probably won't be as this is my first since ERPC). mrsf maybe try to not talk to him about it for a bit - I found it hard as it was and is really the only thing I think about when I'm not working - it will happen but some men can just feel so much pressure that they just completely back off. Perhaps if the subject doesn't come up for a couple of days he'll relax a little and then do as tins & oltt and saggy suggested.

chips are you POA OPK?

guff pleased for you that AF has left the building - hoping she's gone for a while for you xxx

Day 6 of AF now .... grrr glad it came but it can go away now ... I'm going to POAS from the 10th day of cycle - does that sound about right?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 08-May-13 21:59:15

Not even EWCM OLTT any CM at all! blush I thought Id hit the menopause last month! confused grin

Floweroct Thu 09-May-13 07:10:55

Morning all!

Sorry chips!
Could with some posifrickintivity if anyone has any spare! On cd14 no sign of ov yet so now I'm stressing that this cycle will last forever without me being on clomid! I've only got until next month to get pregnant so that I can be pregnant on what should have been edd and its looking more and more unlikely sad I know cd14 is still not too late not to have had positive opk.

I was on the verge of tears on my walk to work yesterday I just feel like its never going to happen and given i have no other children it feels like my life is just on hold.

Right sorry just need to get it off my chest and it helps to write on here!

Are there many people poas tomorrow? We need some good news smile

Bakingtins Thu 09-May-13 08:24:44

((HUGS)) for flower. It is all a bit much sometimes. I did EDD in April without being pregnant again, had another MC in the meantime sad and it was hard, but you will get through it if it comes to that.
Plan some fab things to do over the summer that depend on you not being pregnant. Sods law you'll have to cancel them for all the right reasons!

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 09-May-13 08:56:58

flower CD14 is still early isn't it? Stress can delay ovulation. I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed. I have no good advice or prosifrickintivity either. I'm waiting for ov and it's CD21 for me. (But this is cycle 0 of my second MC). DH has been talking all positive about holidays next year, and planning as if we'll have a baby by early 2014! Men are so positive about these things, aren't they?

Bakingtins Thu 09-May-13 09:16:38

If it helps, I was told at a scan on CD14 last cycle that I was unlikely to ovulate that cycle (no follicles big enough) but did ovulate late, I think on CD17, and got my BFP. All is not lost...

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 09-May-13 10:05:18

{{{hugs}}} for everyone feeling fed up today.

littlemisswednesday Thu 09-May-13 10:35:26

flower sorry you're feeling so down sad

If it helps at all I was on a massive mission to make sure I was pregnant when my EDD came around as I just couldn't imagine getting through it without being pregnant again. But it wasn't to be - the EDD was hard but I got through it and feel much more positive now I'm past it. What ever happens you will get through it, I promise!

My first positive OPK since the miscarriage was just this month (MC was in October) - I really think this was because I made myself so stressed (MC plus new home/job) so try not to beat yourself up too much and take some time to try and relax. It sucks feeling like your life is on hold (no kids for me yet either) and I think everyone on here probably understands you on that one.


littlemisswednesday Thu 09-May-13 10:38:14

Also, couldn't agree more with the advice from bakingtins ...... Plan some fun stuff for the Summer rather than keeping everything on hold. I've felt much better since doing this (started roller derby a few weeks ago, got a tattoo booked in for July plus weekends away and festivals - all of which might have to be shelved if I manage to get a BFP in the meantime. But at least for now I can look forward to them too!)

Chipschipschips Thu 09-May-13 10:43:28

Emki no OPKs yet, maybe next cycle I will try them but I'm already obsessing too much and I'm worried that will make me worse.

Having said that, it is frustrating not to know if I've ovulated or not. In some ways it will be good to get my first normal period so I will know where I am. Sod it, I will definitely try the OPKs next month.

Any recommendations? Do I need to check my body temp too?

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 09-May-13 11:49:05

Chips have you looked at fertility friend? I've got the app on my phone, and it's got a great tutorial that explains charting. I haven't got any luck with OPKs. (I bought them off ebay if you need a rec). Instead I'm charting with bbt and ewcm. I also got my bbt thermometer from ebay. You'll need one with 2 decimal place to work. I stupidly use a normal thermometer from boots and got no where until I gave in and got a proper bbt thermometer. HTH.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 09-May-13 11:51:21

I'm having a shit day as well. The fridge man came and looked at our fridge freezer and declared it a write off. He said it's leaking refridgerant and it'd be more expensive to repair than buying a new one. It's not even 4 year old, ffs. It's a cheapo hotpoint but even still I expect it to last a bit longer. Really hoping I'll get a bit of posifrickintivity news this weekend.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 09-May-13 11:56:45

Thanks for the advice everyone. You all speak a lot of sense.

I think the big issue for me is that DH has made the decision with no discussion, no chat, no compromise. And that makes me feel helpless, and insignificant. He is aware that I am upset, and as is his usual tack, avoids any emotional issues completely and pretends everything is fine. Well, I suppose from his end everything is fine. And from mine, most certainly not.

So I am stuck between forcing a BIG CHAT or as you say, not mentioning anything at all.

But it is early days. And I know that I am being ever so slightly unreasonable. But I just have that NEED. I should be 14 weeks pregnant today and I am not. And that is shit.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 09-May-13 12:03:26

Dearly we all hear you. I could have a September, and then a November baby. My second MC got to 12 weeks, and I even had the scan. I should have been planning my maternity leave, and told everyone about the good news. Instead I have got nothing other than the weight gain I got from the first trimester. It's really shit. I bought some new boxes from ikea to put some more of DD's stuff to the loft in the weekend. I wonder constantly should I just throw them all away since I really have no luck with the ttc. It's really shit.

I think one of your ladies had a 20 week MC. You know what? I'm fearing that would be me next. I dread having to untell the news to everyone. I had that with my first MC with my mum and dad.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 09-May-13 12:10:50

chips, I've used fertility friend in the past. I charted for several months before getting pregnant with DC2. Tis good.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 09-May-13 12:13:19

DDMF <<holds hand>> It's so shit isn't it. sad
Would forcing a big discussion help do you think? I've taken both options at times. Not long after my MC I was so distraught, DP had always said he didn't want any more dcs, and was so good about the PG, and I was just torn up not knowing where we went from there. I got upset and just blurted it out. How I couldn't face knowing that the MC might be the last thing I'd have to remember when I was old. over dramatic? Moi? and I just needed to know. He surprised me. He really did. Nowadays, I just keep my feelings to myself, or share them here.
Is there a chance that your DH might think he is doing things for the best? And a talk might clarify the situation?

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 09-May-13 13:06:50

You're dead right toddle. My November baby got to 11+4 and has left a few unwanted pounds behind.

I do recognise how lucky I have been. I know that it could've been so much more traumatic. Our baby took the most difficult decision out of our hands. The procedure itself was straightforward although heartbreaking and we are lucky to have fantastic support. Just having a moany day.

and I've just found out that Mullerlight yogurts aren't vegetarian having just gobbled a banana and custard one

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 09-May-13 13:08:24

saggy I can feel a talk brewing like an erupting volcano

littlemisswednesday Thu 09-May-13 13:29:22

chips if it helps, I was really worried about getting obsessed with conceiving if I went down the OPK route (and I do have a tendency to obsess over things in general that I have to keep in check!). But I found that its helped make me feel that things are normal and has actually calmed me down a bit.

Chipschipschips Thu 09-May-13 13:48:06

Mrs Finch I have an app which helps me track my fertile week but I haven't been filling in all the symptoms and I haven't got a thermometer to check my temp. It does help though.

Littlemiss that's interesting, I think will try it and if it makes me worse I'll just stop. Are they all the same? I seem to remember the Clearblue one in Boots was about £30 for a month's supply. Do you have to POAS every day?

Just found out today that my step-niece has made an appearance 4 weeks early, so at least I'll get to have a go on a tiny baby smile

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 09-May-13 14:00:02

chips It's a lot cheaper on ebay! You usually start POAOPK around CD 8-10, basically before you have any chance to ovulate. After a few months, when you have a clear idea on why are you likely to ovulate, you can POAOPK a lot less. Hope this makes sense.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 09-May-13 14:38:29

Then I think you should do it DDMF. Whatever the outcome, surely its got to be better than being full of stress and resentment? And you both get a chance to air your views. You might be surprised. I have to say my DP has surprised me at every turn recently. confused

alyant79 Thu 09-May-13 16:24:19

I shall join in with the general grumping: yet ANOTHER pregnancy announcement. Now I really am the only one from my NCT group who isn't pregnant again.
I feel like a horrible cow, but I can't help thinking "why me?" Why did it have to be me who had a mc? Not that I wish it on anyone, I don't want to swap my bad luck with one of them. I just wish that it didn't have to happen to any of us sad
It would be so nice to just be happy for them.

DDMF i completely sympathise. I desperately wanted to get pg ASAP after the mc but it wasn't to be. Now i'm in cycle 2/3 and the NEED isn't quite so physical but it's still very much there. I think the fact that it hasn't happened yet has made me more resigned, but not happy about it at all.
I reckon you need to talk to your DH.

Emki Thu 09-May-13 18:54:34

aly I hear you! It's so difficult! I'm surrounded with now 6 month old babies from my nct group - we were all pregnant at the same time but I lost mine at 20 weeks - now I seem to be surrounded by people who are due in September which when I was last due - my new neighbour just popped round and even they are expecting in late September!!!! I really so wish I could hide away from it all - then I think this making a stronger person - but then I think it's making me bitter and twisted!!!

What can we all do to be positive this month? A friend bought me some jam made if a fruit from Senegal that is supposed to be good fertility so I'm trying to believe in that ..... Also saying to myself that getting a bfp in the few months will fine - a spring baby -

Think I'm going to book a massage or acupuncture for next week something to look forward to and help me to relax .....

Anyone POAS tomorrow??? Good luck to everyone this month xxx

Emki Thu 09-May-13 19:01:10

Though obviously I must be pregnant this month otherwise ill fall apart!!! Haven't even started ttc as blooming AF took 10 weeks to turn up!!! Aagghhhh!!! And I've piled on some pounds!!!

Should do an exercise DVD now as dd in bed but really don't want to!

Right that's it! Someone throw a wet fish At me! I'm going to cheer up! We will get there ladies !!!!! Xxx

Bakingtins Thu 09-May-13 19:27:16

Wet haddock in your direction Emki

There are more people in this boat than you think (shove up there, make some room) I was very lucky with my NCT group with DS1, we are all still friends 7 yrs later. Out of the 7 couples, one had a MC before her DC1, and another 3 of us have had one or more MC since our DC1 (1,2,and 3 MC respectively). It's a bloody miracle anyone ever gets born, if you ask me! Many of those bumps parading around winding you up will have had some back story of difficulties getting that far. I try to remember that even those with apparently charmed lives don't get through life without some sort of to deal with. I know it is very hard at the moment, but we will get there in the end.

Emki Thu 09-May-13 19:40:30

Yes you're right tins thank you for the reality check. - and the wet haddock xxxx hope you are doing ok and taking each day as it comes xx

Bakingtins Thu 09-May-13 19:46:30

Mumsnet erased my swearing! "some sort of s**t to deal with"

Bakingtins Thu 09-May-13 19:48:37

I'm ok. The world has stopped spinning at normal speed and the days are going by very s-l-o-w-l-y. I'm doing everything I possibly can to improve the outcome but I know I really can't do a thing about it, what will be, will be.

Emki Thu 09-May-13 19:51:09

Well done * tins* xxx and thanks for sticking around - a beacon of hope xx

nearlyreadytopop Thu 09-May-13 20:01:58

I am def on the right thread here, this week I am the grumpiest grump in the world. Tomorrow I am taking my grumpyness to the GP. Still no AF 10 weeks after erpc. And im knackered and need to loose weight but despite dedication have lost tiny tiny amount. sigh. So tomorrow I need my iron checked and I was wondering if there are any other tests I could ask him to do re mc?

Emki Thu 09-May-13 20:11:45

nearly I was the same - AF took 10 1/2 weeks after erpc felt so bloated and tired - I didn't go to the doc but went for a scan to see what was going on ... Don't know about any tests though sorry xxx

Floweroct Thu 09-May-13 20:15:23

Looks like I started us all off on a good moan today smile

Thanks for all the kind words, I'm not sure what I'd do without this group! I know I'm being stupid about only being on cd14 I think it's just that the only time I ever got a positive on cd14 I got my bfp!

It hasn't helped that dh has been very down at the moment and so things have been stressful and he hasn't wanted to plan things.

But feeling a bit more positive this evening and got a family weekend coming up and then seeing my best friend in a couple of weeks.

Really hoping for some bfps tmrw to cheer us all up smile

BirdsDoIt Thu 09-May-13 20:23:37

nearlyready I like the idea of taking your grumpiness to the GP! smile Don't know about tests I'm afraid but someone upthread mentioned having a scan 8/9 weeks post erpc when AF hadn't arrived, to see what was going on - so maybe you could ask for that?

dearly poor you, sounds rubbish. I hope you can manage to have a good talk at some point soon. My DH is definitely of the 'put anything difficult in a box' variety and he goes very silent if I ever bring up the mc - so I really sympathise, it's near impossible having a proper conversation when everything you say gets stonewalled or is met with total silence. I know he is sad about it but I think he feels it doesn't help to go over it all - so eventually I just ended up talking to friends/colleagues about how I was feeling rather than him. We did talk about ttc again though and I'm trying to be a little less obsessive (or less obviously so) and just have lots of sex! Definitely agree with others who said pressure doesn't help matters.

Interesting what people have said about opks - i think next cycle I'll be giving them a try.

But in the meantime I will be pointlessly POAS'ing tomorrow morning - 5 weeks post-erpc, no AF yet, I haven't got a chance but am doing it anyway! though I have been feeling a bit nauseous this week

Really glad to hear you're doing well tins x

Emki Thu 09-May-13 21:10:01

Fingers crossed birds you never know xxxx

Ariel21 Thu 09-May-13 22:59:41

Hi ladies. I couldn't remember if I'd updated or just dreamt it.

Was trying to wait for AF but got impatient and DTD. Think I was ovulating as EWCM was decidedly present. Not expecting anything but thought it wouldn't do any harm!

Looked at miscarriage association website and it said that you have no more or less chance miscarrying again if you don't have a period in between, which is something that was concerning me.

Sorry to hear about the ladies who are feeling shitty, and that some husbands/partners are struggling too. Mine is up and down - part of him is excited about trying again, part of him is still very sad. At least he is happy to talk about it I suppose.

The rose bush I bought for the lost baby is doing brilliantly! Lots of foliage and new buds.

BirdsDoIt Fri 10-May-13 07:21:24

Ariel that's what i saw and why we decided just to go for it - also couldn't be bothered to faff around with condoms, it seemed ridiculous.

Bfn here this morning but I knew it was a long shot. Not really expecting anything to happen for a while given how long it took first time round. And on the plus side it means I can have a glass of wine or two when I go out for lunch with DH and my best friend on Sunday! - my nice thing for this week. x

Chipschipschips Fri 10-May-13 09:18:02

Sorry Birds, hope you enjoy your weekend

Chipschipschips Fri 10-May-13 09:19:40

I have to stop myself POAS after my Wednesday fail. I have to go shopping for baby clothes for BF's nephew (1yo) at lunchtime so no doubt I'll be straight into Boots afterwards blush

littlemisswednesday Fri 10-May-13 09:24:02

ariel we planted a Monkey Puzzle tree in the garden on the EDD for our lost one....I had started referring to him or her as 'monkey' while I was pregnant so it seemed fitting. I like sitting by it (on the odd days when its not freezing or chucking it down with rain!) as it gives me a bit of comfort.

alyant79 Fri 10-May-13 09:31:22

ah bugger birds. perhaps next week?
anyone else POAS today?? Come on folks....

ariel I think that's exactly right about no physical reason to wait for the first AF. We ttc that cycle but it didn't work for us sad

sex-fest started here last night and I feel really hopeful for this cycle. Please please please please please work this time...
Heading off on holidays tomorrow. 2 weeks in the sun, hurray! Hopefully the lovely weather and relaxation (can you relax when taking a not-quite-two year old on holidays?) will create an optimum implantation environment in my uterus.

tins thanks for the sensibility. I did make a slight exaggeration by saying that I'm the only one not pregnant from my NCT group. There is one other who isn't either, and I know that she had 2 MC before her DD. So that's a bit unfair isn't it? The rest of them are now having 2 pregnancies completely easily, and the one girl who deserves a good run the second time round is struggling to get pg again. Mother nature is a bitch.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 10-May-13 09:55:43

Morning all. birds, it's not over until AF comes, like they always say. Besides, as we all know, cycle 0 is going to be a weird one.

I didn't have any good news either. Last night, I planned to jump DH for some BD because I have ewcm and we last DTD 2 nights ago. But DD woke up at 10pm and cried and cried. Took us till 11.30 to get her back to sleep. So ofc we didn't get to have any BD at all, and fell asleep very very tired. I'm hoping I haven't missed the window sad

Chipschipschips Fri 10-May-13 10:11:04

At what stage do you join an NCT group? Just curious, looking forward to that part.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 10-May-13 10:16:18

chips I signed up last time when I had my 20 week scan. They do get filled up quite quickly so you need to book as soon as possible. But because I was already an older mum (36 last time), I don't feel it's all real until after the second abnormality scan. You can sign up for the classes on the NCT website.

By the way, it's the same for nursery if you plan to go back to work. You need to sign up asap. There are huge waiting lists for the popular ones. I didn't get into my first choice until DD was 18mo. (It was the first September after I went back to work). The nurseries told me most spaces are freed up in September, and a smaller amount in Janurary. I was so happy with my timing originally when my first MC had a Sept due date. I thought I wouldn't have to stress so much like I was with my DD who was a Spring baby.

Chipschipschips Fri 10-May-13 10:30:36

Ah yes, that would've been good timing. My perfect timing would be next September but I hadn't even considered nursery places, it's more to do with the maternity package I would get from work (If I conceive before December I will only get a small increase in SMP for 6 weeks, after December I would get 3 months full pay before going onto SMP). I hope it doesn't take that long but at least I have that in the back of mind.

I will be 36 in a couple of weeks so I guess I will be an older mum too, I hope the NCT group isn't full of 20 year olds.

alyant79 Fri 10-May-13 11:16:19

chips I can't remember when I signed up for the NCT class, but it was deffo a while after my 12 week scan, and possibly even after the 20 week scan. I'm 34 and most of us are around the same age. One is 40, another 36 or so. The youngest is 25.
I don't know what I'd do without my NCT gang, they are wonderful (apart from all being preggo again!!!).

OLTT makes a good point about nurseries - sign up ASAP! I signed up as soon as I'd had the 12 week scan, and we only just managed to get a place for her at 8 months old. That was April last year, so a bit of an unconventional time I suppose.

OLTT I'm sure it'll be fine if you can dtd tonight. Or - here's a cunning plan - both sneak home at lunch for a quickie wink

Rockchick1984 Fri 10-May-13 11:49:03

Chips I was the youngest at my NCT group (was 27 when I had DS) the others were all early to mid 30's.

GuffSmuggler Fri 10-May-13 13:46:33

Happy Friday everyone,

Decided lack of BFPs today, hopefully it means we're going to have a bumper week in a couple of weeks grin

birds and chips you're not out yet!

Right I've informed DH things need to get going properly tonight and we will be heading straight for the bedroom once DS is down and he can then cook me dinner, I hope the pressure won't be too much!

I don't reckon I'm ovulating yet but judging by CM it's getting close, so am aiming for every couple of days. Yikes, feel knackered thinking about it!!

Bakingtins Fri 10-May-13 13:51:14

I was 31 when I had DS1 and I was the younger end of my NCT group. They won't all be 20. The classes tend to be when you are in the mid-30-weeks but they fill up fast, so you need to sign up early on but probably wait until you have a BFP Our classes were all in September and we have October and November babies.

Chipschipschips Fri 10-May-13 13:52:40

BFN here sad

GuffSmuggler Fri 10-May-13 13:58:55

It's early days chips keep DTD!!

alyant79 Fri 10-May-13 14:43:06

go guff go!
we're aiming for tonight as well - 2 nights in a row! <<gasp>> Only because we are flying out tomorrow and won't arrive until late, and then will be sharing a room with DD... So it has to be tonight. Hope we can manage it. eeek the pressure.

oh no chips! We have lost the fertile friday mojo. Hope it comes back with a vengeance next week

Lieslvontrapp Fri 10-May-13 16:42:54

Yes a disappointing fertile Friday. Hopefully that means we are due a flurry during the coming weeks. Only cd8 here so still got 4 weeks before poas. Using cbfm for the first time so hopefully I get a peak. Never really got on with internet opks.

Misspositivity Fri 10-May-13 19:37:12

ariel I just did the same thing. I was peeing on a stick just to see if I ovulated. Got poss yesterday and got so excited DTD. Then panicked that should have waited for one period after mc. Now think might as well do it tonight too. I am sure it won't be that easy to get a bfp this time. Don't mind a wait as long as its a sticky one

Is anyone else thinking its time to bring a bit of romance to the situation. I wanted to DTD last week and my DP said "oh are u ovulating" I said no just wanted to do it for fun. He said he was surprised an shocked.

Emki Fri 10-May-13 20:24:49

lies i'm also on CD8 and will be using CBOPK - its going to be interesting this month, realised we haven't actually DTD since Christmas!!!! which is when I last got pregnant... eek!

Yes romance would be good .... your post made me laugh missp but there is always this big baby shaped elephant in the room even when I'm pretending we're just doing it for fun!

I said to DH last night that first AF had been and gone, time to start DTD soon and he got really cross! He asked me why I had to be so weird about it all ..... I thought oh no here we go again ... just what we were talking about up the thread a bit ...egg shells I'll be walking on again ...

wine to everyone - its a Friday night x Happy holidays aly

Topslou Fri 10-May-13 20:47:09

Sorry to hear no BFPs today. Hoping our lucky streak is back next week. As long as AF doesn't arrive on Thursday I'll be poas next Friday, keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Emki Fri 10-May-13 21:11:15

Fingers crossed for you topslou xx

nearlyreadytopop Fri 10-May-13 21:11:52

I did POAS today mostly just for fun as really there's not much chance but I live in hope, it was negative too.
Just wondering what ovulation pee sticks you all would recommend? Since I don't have a normal cycle the clear blue ones would work out v v expensive so any cheaper ones that work?

Misspositivity Fri 10-May-13 21:13:59

emki your right baby sized elephant is always about. Your DH probably just needs to get in the saddle again and then he will be rearing to go. My DP used to hate it when i demanded to DTD Now he has just accepted it for an easy life lol Our OH's must be as nervous as we are about another pregnancy.

Next pregnancy I am waiting till booking app to get excited. A BFP will make me smile but I won't think about possibly getting a baby at the end until I pass 12 weeks. I think that's the only thing that will get me sane.

Is anyone else poas on Friday 24th :-)).

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 10-May-13 21:14:56

Never mind chaps. Keep shagging, we will all get there! grin
I went all out for seduction yesterday. I spent the entire day texting DP with random words which were erotic but not the actual words IYSWIM! Getting more interesting as the day went on. It was really taxing on my poor brain, but I was getting quite into it. [Wink] I called him mid afternoon and asked if he got my text, and his phone was switched off all flipping day! confused
So I just pounced on him instead! grin

Misspositivity Fri 10-May-13 21:16:43

nearly I bought opk tests cheap on line. Strip tests. Work for me but I have heard other people not getting positives.

I bought the early pregnancy test cheapies too thought would test again before af due as so many early mc and I don't need another one on my list.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 10-May-13 21:20:00

Miss I'm due on on the 26th. So I could POAS on the 24th, or wait until the 31st. I might decide nearer the time! grin

Emki Fri 10-May-13 21:49:09

I lied! We actually did it twice after the mc - totally forgot! Oh dear! We're going to need a lot of revving up!!

Emki Fri 10-May-13 21:51:51

I will be POAS on the 31st - possibly xx

Misspositivity Fri 10-May-13 22:09:35

emki I don't think that you forgot will cheer your DH up. Lol
saggy your a better woman than me if you can wait till 31st.

I don't really know when to poas as haven't had af since last mc. Thought 14 days after poss opt would work or maybe before or maybe several different brands on different days and line them all up - pull them apart looking for faint line. Try and convince DP there is a faint line To which he will respond " I want to say I can see it but really I can't. Please use the digital one". As u can tell i have been through the 2 ww a few times.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Fri 10-May-13 22:28:31

Well, DH and I had the heart to heart last night and it didn't go too well.

I explained how I felt when he made the decision for both of us and then ignored my upset. He acknowledged he was in the wrong but then said he might not want to try again sad

I then left the room and cried myself to sleep. As usual DH has woken up today like nothing ever happened and has ignored my distinct coolness towards him all day. Feel like I'm going round in circles.

There will be no amorous advances any time soon in Finchville. But good luck to everyone doing the horizontal tonight!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 10-May-13 22:33:43

Oh DDMF! I'm really sorry! Hopefully he will come round given time. I seriously think, and made it quite clear, that I might actually have gone insane, if a MC was my final foray into childbearing. DP thankfully took the hint! I'd try to just keep dead quiet, don't say anything for a while and see what happens. In the mean time, sending you a {{{{hug}}}}

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Fri 10-May-13 22:51:35

Thanks saggy

CamomileHoneyVanilla Fri 10-May-13 22:52:54

Sorry to hear things aren't good at the moment ddmf.

Can't believe we've had no luck on fertile Friday. Absolutely rubbish.

I've random ewcm today, on day 11 of what is usually a 33-36 day cycle. Bit thrown by it. Has anyone else had random ewcm and does it mean I'm ovulating early or just something else going on. Can it be triggered by sweet and sour pork balls which is what shamefully was my dinner this evening? I've got a cbfm so I guess I'll just see what it says tomorrow.


SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 10-May-13 23:55:27

Camomile I've given up trying to decipher my CM and OPKS and stuff! I don't think I'm dedicated clever enough! I'm just going for a blanket coverage of shagging across the whole month! confused

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 11-May-13 06:40:29

Oh God! Anyone else ever dream they are pregnant? I could feel it kicking and everything! sad

nearlyreadytopop Sat 11-May-13 08:07:01

oh no saggy, I had that too and its awful. Really upset me for the rest of the day. sad

Rockchick1984 Sat 11-May-13 09:11:33

Camomile never had it but your post just made me smile - when we were first TTC I thought I was getting EWCM every day until I realised it was DH's baby gravy the next morning blush - obviously not saying that's what yours is, I was incredibly naive!

MrsF I'm sorry your DH is being so insensitive. I'd be tempted to leave him in charge of contraception, I know my DH would rather not use condoms and would just abandon them if he knew I wouldn't insist so we would end up TTC anyway, do you think that would work?

Saggy I've not dreamed about being pregnant but about having a newborn and woke up hugging my pillow sad

MissP that made me smile, definitely think you've done this a few times already!

JBrd Sat 11-May-13 09:50:58

Sorry to hear that some of your DH/DPs are being really insensitive. I really think that they have very little, if no clue what is going on with us. Regardless of how much we try to explain confused

Things are looking relatively ok at my end - in spite of this being the wtf cycle after mc, it appears that I ovulated when expected and am now on 6 DPO, temp is on the rise shock
I shall poas next Friday, anyone joining me?!?

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 11-May-13 10:49:16

Cbfm saying high so we've just had a lovely Sat morning dtd. I love the bit around ovulation where you feel excited and in with a chance. Before you start going crazy with symptom spotting, but when it's just nice. It makes me think back to the TTC smiley chart a few threads back which really made me giggle. Perhaps we should add that to the top of all our threads alongside the poas rules. Oh by the way, I know I said a while back we weren't going to try until after the uterus scan; well that's out of the window! Scan is on 21st though - slightly terrified.

Rockchick, glad I made you laugh. It wasn't that though! Def the other thing.

Saggy, harsh dream. I haven't had any pregnancy/baby dreams since the mc (though got loads while pg).

I've had two pregnancy announcements this week. While I'm really happy for both of them hearing one really hurt. Like them both so no logic to it at all. Aren't emotions funny things. She was just so excited in all the same ways we were and it just puts you in touch with what you're missing :-(.

GuffSmuggler Sat 11-May-13 14:26:01

Right, got EWCM today. DTD yesterday, but DH is out at the rugby all day today, I told him he better not be too drunk to DTD when he gets in later.

GAH and I was going to 'be cool' this cycle about TTC and I feel totally neurotic. How can anyone possibly be relaxed about TTC after a MC, it is beyond me. Thank goodness you ladies understand how crazy it can make you.

MrsF So sorry you are having such a tough time, you must feel so helpless sad I agree with rock tell him contraception is for him to sort out then as I bet he won't bother.

Emki I roared at you forgetting you had actually DTD since the MC, best not tell your DH is was so memorable grin

saggy I haven't had that dream but have had some horrible dreams since the MC, guess it's your brain processing everything, horrible.

GuffSmuggler Sat 11-May-13 14:28:46

PS saggy I'm due 26th too, is going to be a loooonnnnggg couple of weeks! I imagine I'll buckle and POAS by 24th....

CupcakeFanatic Sat 11-May-13 16:31:56

Hi Guffsmuggler is this the thread you were recommending I could join (I'm from the pregnancy loss boards)? I just wanted to check I'm in the right place! DH and I waited for first AF after ERPC and then got a smiley on digital opk this cycle. We dtd but I don't think we did it at textbook 'optimum' times but there's no point in us getting obsessed and fraught as the ttc journey is emotionally tough enough already on all of us folks methinks. In the waiting phase now.

littlemisswednesday Sat 11-May-13 16:46:59

So I have completely strayed from the rules (sorry!) and have got a BFP this afternoon grin Feel free to fish slap me!

I thought about testing yesterday but AF was due today and couldn't bring myself to risk another BFN yesterday (and there was no way I could wait until next Friday!). I've felt a bit nauseous this week but also really felt like AF was on its way. Also wouldn't let myself think it until I woke up this morning and felt properly sick and just knew.

Now feeling hugely guilty about the alcohol I consumed last night....but after months of stressing and doing everything by the book I think it's actually the fact that I've relaxed that might have helped things.

Will obviously be on here for some time yet - a least until I get past 12 weeks (fingers crossed) x

Sapphireday Sat 11-May-13 16:59:56

Yay, congratulations Littlemiss! But here's a bug fish slap anyway (but it's nice and fresh so not too smelly!). Fingers crossed tightly for a sticky bean.

Sapphireday Sat 11-May-13 17:00:32

Bug? Big, obviously!

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 11-May-13 17:17:05

YAY - littlemiss!! I was sad yesterday with no BFPs so no fish slap from me.

Cupcake - I think this probably is the thread guff meant (apologies if this is wrong and she is 'thread-cheating' on us). Sorry for your loss but welcome to the thread.

nearlyreadytopop Sat 11-May-13 18:11:15

whoop whoop littlemiss smile I only joined this thread last week but am v happy that someone has a positive. sticky thoughts heading your waysmile

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sat 11-May-13 18:36:41

Fantastic LittleMiss grin Fingers crossed for an uneventful nine months.

littlemisswednesday Sat 11-May-13 19:23:38

Thank you so much guys - very much hoping for an uneventful 9 months!

Bakingtins Sat 11-May-13 20:48:05

Congratulations LittleMiss!

Emki Sat 11-May-13 20:50:21

Congrats littlemiss looks like all that planning of tattoos etc paid off! Well done! Think positive xxxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 11-May-13 21:18:46

Congratulations! grin and don't worry. At this stage, the embyro is completely separate from your blood supply, so the alcohol won't reach the baby.

Ariel21 Sat 11-May-13 21:24:46

LittleMiss Yay! Congratulations!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 11-May-13 21:32:05

I've just eaten my fifth bunch of asparagus in three days. Is it possible to get pregnancy cravings on CD12? or am I just a fat pig?

littlemisswednesday Sat 11-May-13 21:43:10

saggy thanks, that makes me feel much better!

Oh and I very much doubt you are a fat pig if asparagus is your chosen binge smile

Tattoos etc on hold for now....very nervous but not quite as terrified as I thought I would be at least.


SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 11-May-13 21:49:13

Yesterday's asparagus was wrapped in pancetta, today's was slathered in melted Stilton! confused
Fingers crossed that all goes well for you. X

BirdsDoIt Sat 11-May-13 23:09:08

Yay GOOD news, that's what I like to see! Congrats littlemiss!

saggy I had asparagus with eggs-with-runny-yolks today. Highly recommend that for tomorrow smile

Is everyone else also throwing caution to the winds and eating/drinking everything they shouldn't because sod's law if they do, then it'll happen? (And if it doesn't happen then at least they've enjoyed wine, smelly cheese, rare steak...) That's my current policy anyway having previously been quite careful about what I ate one week after AF onwards. I agree with saggy too that it's too early to cross over/affect the embryo anyway - one less thing to be paranoid about!

Night night everyone x

GuffSmuggler Sun 12-May-13 09:54:09

Horray littlemiss!! That is great news grin

Well DH came home from the rugby yesterday with 'stomach ache' and I said that was no excuse and he'd still have to DTD. I was lying on the sofa and then let out an inconspicuous fart and he was like 'is this meant to be getting me in the mood!?' ha ha!!

Anyway we did manage it as I think DH was too scared to refuse, I'm turning into some kind of crazed maniac!!! Wondering if we can make it 3 in a row today as it's much harder during the week when we're both knackered.

Anyway welcome 'cupcake' sorry you find yourself here but come and join us, we're all nuts nice and normal.

saggy your er wee must be smelling interesting with all that asparagus confused

Sal1977 Sun 12-May-13 12:03:35

Morning everyone, just had the best lay-in! Lush!

We're doing well this month (first cycle following AF after MMC).
Had a positive OPK on Wednesday and Thursday (days 14 & 15) and so far we managed to DTD on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Gonna try for one more today then the old bits and bobs can have a little rest! Lol.

I'm a bit annoyed about missing Wednesday as I wanted a full house, and bless him, DF had a crack at it after getting home from the pub pissed (celebrating end of exams), but err.....wasn't very successful! Hehe

What has everyone planned today? We're off suit shopping for DFs wedding suit (guess we had get a wriggle on as its only 5 weeks away)!

Hi Ladies...

Just wondered if I could please join you. Have been reading the thread, and I think this might be the right place for me. Feel like I haven't got anyone else to talk to. Driving DH mad, and my best friend who 'was' going through similar is now 22weeks pg and I don't want to keep rambling on to her!

I had a miscarriage in August last year (2 weeks before my wedding, great timing I know) and have been TTC ever since. I have one DD (2.9) and I adore her, but the desire to give her a sibling is becoming stronger and stronger each month that goes by, especially since the MC. I got pg with her straight away, pretty much once and only once - and then the same again when I got pg last July. So I have been even more worried that something is wrong...why is it taking so long when it didn't before? etc.

I just have this overwhelming feeling that something is 'wrong' with me since the MC, does anyone else feel like this? I feel like I've been damaged, hence the lack of BFP success. So much so I went to the Dr and she did 21 day tests and sent me for an ultrasound scan which both came back okay and clear. (With the exception of my tubes, she said she couldn't tell me that they were definitely clear without using dye etc). My cycles seem regular, I get all the right signs, positive opk's, peaks on fertilty monitor...so WHY?!! sad It's just so disheartening, I really try to stay positive, but it is getting harder. I feel like we can't try any harder/do anything different. It's almost as if we are wasting our time. I'm sorry for this negative essay, just feels good to write down all of my feelings.

Anyway, there is my back story. Now I will stop whining, and send lots of posifrickintivity to all you fellow ttc'ers and hoping you all get some good luck very soon.


Emki Sun 12-May-13 20:43:37

Hello overanxious sorry you are here but welcome - its very hard -such a horrible time and I feel for you've- I mc last July then ttc and got pg in jan then mc again - I also have 1 dd and feel I am stuck - on hold -

Have you been getting very stressed? Have you tried having massages and things like that? Feel silly asking but I really do think that making sure you take some time to yourself helps -

I'm terribly anxious about ttc again but trying to have things to look forward to that will relax me ..... Lots of hugs to you xxxx

Emki Sun 12-May-13 20:45:13

Also when did you last go for your scan? X

Emki Sun 12-May-13 20:48:18

Also good going sal feel exhausted just reading your post! Xxx

Hi Emki - thanks for your lovely reply.

Sorry to hear about your MC's too, such a horrible thing to go through. I suppose I have been getting stressed yes, more so each month. Before the MC I had a very regular 29 day cycle, then each month after the MC it went from 35, 34, 33, 32, 31, 30, 29...so I began to think everything was going back to 'normal' however last month I had a random 37 day cycle, which threw me, and I was just waiting for AF...I put DD into Nursery for the day and went shopping with my Mum, totally stress free day and I came on my period the next day, so maybe the stress free day to myself helped, or maybe just a coincidence.

I had my scan on the 14th March, so two months ago.

I'm feeling really down today, suprisingly I'm happier when I'm on my period than when I'm into the 'two week wait' the horrible feeling of "I already know I'm not pregnant" just takes over. At least when I'm on CD 1-20 I feel relatively positive thinking there is a chance...

I'm currently on CD23, but have no idea whether I am due on in around a week, or closer to two weeks following my random 37 day cycle last month! So that doesn't help either.

I've used the clearblue fertility monitor this month just for something different, so I am keeping everything crossed and trying so hard to stay positive.

smile xx

Emki Sun 12-May-13 21:45:56

Well done - try and book something to look forward to too - it took me over 10 weeks to get my first AF after mc and doc said it was probably due to stress that I didn't ovulate sooner x do take time for yourself - fingers crossed for you this month xxxx

Misspositivity Sun 12-May-13 22:24:58

Welcome "over anxious". Sorry to read your story. I am pretty new to the thread too. I have a DD 21 months and would love to give her a sibling. 2 mc later here I am still willing to try. I understand your desire.

Not sure whether you have tried but I am having acunpuncture it really regulated my cycle after first mc and made me feel better about things - more relaxed. I was a bit cynical at first but thought it was worth a shot.

sal my goodness you go girl.

littlemiss congrats on your BFP.

after poss opk on Thursday and DTD we didn't manage it the rest of weekend as my DD had vomiting bug so I doubt there will be any positives from this corner on fri 24th.

Sal1977 Sun 12-May-13 22:54:15

Sorry you're here Overanxious, but a big friendly welcome at the same time.

Maybe you should try some other things such as reflexology, acupuncture, temping etc?

On the month I fell PG I was charting my temps, using OV sticks, Preseed Lube, shagging ALOT and eating pineapple for 5 days after OV!

At least it feels like you are doing something when you pull something else out of the toolkit!! Xxx

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 13-May-13 10:18:28

Congrats littlemiss. And welcome to the thread cupcake and overanxious.

overanxious, I think it's normal to feel like something is wrong with us. At least I do. I think it took us less than 3 months to concieve DD. It was all very easy. I thought it would be again, but here I am, trying since September, and still here without a bump. Keep in mind that even for a normal couple, it can take up to a year to concieve. (I think the stats says 80% succeed in 1 year, and 90%+ in 2 years). If the scan shows there is nothing wrong, just keep your faith up for the time being. It's ofc easier said and done.

I think I'm onto the 2ww now. My BBT showed two days of high now, but FF hasn't detected the ovulation. I'm not sure why. It's gone dry down there too. I'm glad to take a rest from the bd. DH actually asked do we have to do it last night sad. It is very hard going for us to do it every 2-3 days. And since we started ttc, the only time I got bfps were when we managed every 2 days. So the pressure is very real (to me) to keep at it. If only I could trust we could succeed with every 3 days!

As for food, no I'm not abstaining from anything. I'm eating all my favourites like blue cheese, wine, raw egg (cake mixtures grin). Also doing the gardens and litter boxes without gloves. I'm sure I'll get obsessed with all this as time goes by. But for the time being, I'm feeling quite relaxed about these, except taking the folic acid.

SuchFunSuchFun Mon 13-May-13 11:20:01

Hi, can I join please? I had an ectopic pg in December which was treated with methatrexate, we had to wait three months before ttc (according to the hosp this was not up for debate and it could be devestating if we concieved in this time because of the drugs in my system), we are now in the first month of trying and I'm due on this week, I feel so tearful cos I know I'm not pregnant, I don't feel it at all which I have done the last 2 times (I have 18 month dd) but I just keep hoping, this is going to drive me insane if I am like this every month, especially as I got the BFP in the first cycle both times, and knew before I was even late. And because everyone knows about the ectopic we are getting people asking if we're ttc now that the three months is over, I mean how rude is that, yes actually we're shagging like rabbits every night, would you like to know positions as well?

I feel really fed up and miserable today and I'm sorry for the rant sad

Chipschipschips Mon 13-May-13 11:22:10

Gratz littlemiss smile

Quick moan from me, just to get it out there and avoid having to bore anyone else. No idea what's happening with my body this month, it's impossible to concrentrate on work, I'm just obssessing about everything. Burst into tears at a works do last Friday, then managed to cheer up and immediately headed to the dance floor so now everyone must think I'm a mental case (which I'm starting to think I am).

Not sure if I'll POAS on Friday, the last one is still sitting on the shelf in the bathroom and makes me sad when I see it but I can't throw it out sad

SuchFunSuchFun Mon 13-May-13 11:49:34

Hi Chips, it sounds like there are a few of us in the same boat at the moment. I can't help cos I'm no better myself at the moment and I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know your story, but I wanted to say I'm with you.

Chipschipschips Mon 13-May-13 12:23:35

Thanks suchfun. I MCd 11/04 so still waiting for AF but always hoping that it won't come smile Today's 'symptoms' are sore tits and heartburn but really I know it's just a bad bra and hunger pangs sad

SuchFunSuchFun Mon 13-May-13 13:01:37

it's so hard, you so desperately want the "symptons" to lead to a BFP, but at the same time you don't dare hope.

I've got to pop out now but I'll be back online later, and hopefully in a more positive mood!! smile

Hi all <waves at newbies and offers soft cheese

Hi all <waves at newbies and offers soft cheese platter>

Thought I'd just bob in and say hi, send my condolences for those who are having a tough time and reassure you that I'm still here.

Also sending a big heap of congrats to you littlemiss

How are you all doing my friends? I'm ok over here. Been avoiding MN over the past few weeks and have been able to successfully distract myself a bit from all the woes so that feels good. Af due next weekend/mon and then hoping to be back in the game for bfp tastic June or July. refusing to acknowledge my EDD in a couple of weeks

Ps oops about first acci-post. Thats what comes from typing whilst on wobbly train!

alyant79 Mon 13-May-13 18:48:09

Hello all. Welcome newbies I'm so sorry you find yourselves here. But here is a safe home to go through this crazy time.
Just checking in from my hols. It's 2ww time for me now. Should poas fri next week but won't - either af will come on my last couple of days of hol or she won't. I refuse to think about it. Didn't bring stick with me.
Sorry to here about all the non-supportive DHs. I hope they come around

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Mon 13-May-13 19:18:32

Hi everyone <waves>

I've been up and down over the last few days. DH and I had another chat which was okay. Things are very stressful at home at the moment as we have the builders in and have temporarily moved out while we have no bathroom (only a few days though) so I can understand that DH needs things to settle down before I put the pressure on. It has only been just over 2 weeks since the miscarriage after all.

However, guff and Sal I am mightily impressed by and jealous of your bedroom antics.

overanxious I recognise that conviction that something is wrong. When we conceived DC2 my cycle was all over the place (ranging from 24 to 45 days shock). But what you need to remember is that at the end of the day, the chances of getting pregnant even with optimal conditions are quite small. Someone said up thread that it's a wonder anyone is born! But thankfully your tests have been clear, so that must be some comfort? There is no reason why you won't get your BFP next month. Fingers crossed.

And, I'm probably preaching to the converted, buuuut, although stress can affect your cycle (it certainly does mine) it can only delay ovulation. So generally your luteal phase (time from ovulation to period) is fixed at around 12-16 days and doesn't change from cycle to cycle. So for example, on my 24 day cycle I ovulated on CD10, during my more usual 34 day cycles I ovulate on CD20 and during my 45 day cycle I ovulated on day 30, or not at all (anovulatory cycle). Waffling here grin but I would definitely recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. It is easier to read than the title suggests grin and certainly made me feel more in control when my cycle was going mad!

One of the school run Mums announced her pregnancy today so I came home and wailed and wailed. DH was lovely though, so it was almost worth it to feel closer to him. Perhaps my reaction will make him relent on the TTC ban. Ho hum.

Topslou Mon 13-May-13 19:40:29

Evening ladies. I need some decision making help. It will involve me breaking the rules so fully prepared for my fish slap if I do. AF is due Thursday so as long as the wicked witch doesn't arrive I will be poas on Friday. I have a couple of things which may suggest it will be good news. My dilemma is that I am going to a big industry event on Wednesday where I will be offered champagne and cocktails in the day and then attending a notoriously boozy dinner in the evening. I don't want to drink if there is a chance I am pregnant but if I'm not I shall partake happily in the free alcohol. So should I poas tomorrow to know one way or the other?

It is really nice to talk to people going through the same thing (unfortunately it's not a nice thing) but it really helps to speak to people who 'get it'. Thank you for all of your replies and warm welcome smile

I know I need to stay positive, and that it can take up to a year etc etc...it's just so hard to maintain that positive attitude sometimes!

I have been temping this month, and according to my chart I OV'd on day 14...but I am not convinced, I had a 37 day cycle last month so wasn't expecting it so early but also I didn't get a positive OPK and peak reading untill day 15 hmm so temping has thrown me even more.

I am also terrible for early POAS'ing sad I cannot resist, I was going to ask DH to hide my stash but I knew I would hate not having control. But obviously one line is even more depressing than no line. No willpower. Arghh.

Might take some of your advice though and look into some sort of relaxation/therapy/massage etc. I am willing to try anything!


Topslou - Personally, I would definitely POAS but I am a bit of a POAS-aholic. You have nothing to lose, especially only 1 day before AF. It might reassure you, if it's a BFN then at least you can enjoy yourself one way or another. smile


LinaJ Mon 13-May-13 20:46:06

Hi - do you mind if I join you all?

I have been 'stalking' this thread a while and feel for everyone stuck in limbo between TTC, MC and DC. Your chat has kept me sane while trying to be postive about things over the last couple of weeks.

I just want to mark my place right now - I found out at lunchtime what I thought would be a reassuring 9wk scan showed a 7w MMC sad - so it's still a bit raw (also I have drunk 2 bottles of Bud and probably can't type that well!). ERPC is booked for Thurs - unless mother nature kicks in first and then I can think about the next month(s).

Having already had 2 MCs this year (1 Jan and 11 Mar this year) I am hoping you'll help keep me positive?


Lieslvontrapp Mon 13-May-13 21:04:15

Welcome lina so sorry about the mmcs. I've been through one so I really feel for you and anyone else on here that has been through multiple. Unfortunately it happens. Just be kind to yourself especially during these early days.

Also welcome to other newbies. Sorry you're here and hopefully you'll have a short stay.

Congrats to littlemiss hopefully that's the start of our flurry of bfps! And topslou sounds like you might be the next! I would poas before the event if I were you.

Thunder nice to hear from you and see youre still lurking!

Lieslvontrapp Mon 13-May-13 21:08:48

Overanxious I also get the something wrong feeling. I've only had 2 AFs since erpc end December so not sure I'm ovulating. Started using a cbfm this cycle to see if I get a high and hopefully peak by cd26. I'm on cd11 and still low but it's still early days yet. Let's see!

Misspositivity Mon 13-May-13 21:21:25

Hi lina. Sorry you find yourself here. Your post brought me back to my first mc. I went straight to a wine bar after and drank 2 large glasses of wine. It's truly horrible and I am so sorry you find yourself there again.

You will find some lovely ladies on here who really understand how we are all feeling.

tops def poas in the morning If nneg don't forget could be poss by Friday. Loads of medical research to say the first 4 weeks r ok as nothing will pass over so you should be ok if late positive. Have fun.

alicebear Mon 13-May-13 22:19:24

Another newbie here can I join? I had a MMC in April & erpc. AF arrived yesterday so feel like we can get cracking again with ttc.
Sorry to see so many people here but you all seem lovely & really supportive to each other.
I have 1DD who is nearly 2.
Lina very very sorry to hear about your news today. What a year for you. Hope your op goes well on Thurs. Quite right to turn to a much needed drink at a time like this.
Hope to see some BFPs on Fri or maybe even sooner.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Mon 13-May-13 22:31:31

Gosh, lina, you've been through the wringer this year. So sorry. And hi to Alice too. Hopefully none of us will be here too long.

xkatxdollx Mon 13-May-13 23:21:50

Hey ladies I had a miscarriage 2 months ago baby was supposed to be 11 weeks but only measured 5 and now today I found out in having a chemical pregnancy and should start bleeding soon have any of you had the same problem I do have a 19 month old that's perfect and healthy have any of you had the same problem with multiple mc and is it like a disorder or something that I can look into to shed some light on it?

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 14-May-13 08:57:22

I can't believe I woke up to so many bad news here sad.

I complained too soon yesterday about fertility friend not detecting my ovulation. It took 3 high temp days to finally think my big O day was saturday. We dtd on friday and sunday, so it seems I'm in for a chance this month. Off to the 2ww for me now.

Topslou I'll definitely POAS and drink. Actually I'll just drink and might not POAS. Doesn't implantation starts around when AF is due? Because that's when implantation bleeding can be seen. The placenta won't be there before implantation, and surely will take a bit to develop? That means at this early stage, the egg couldn't be getting its blood supply from your blood stream anyway, isn't it?

lina so sorry to hear you have a third consecutive miscarrage. When I had my second, DH's boss told him that his wife had 3 consecutive MCs (I think it's either 3 or 4) after they had their first baby. The doctors did some tests and find there's nothing wrong with them. They told them the best thing to help concieve is just to stay healthy. They went on to have another 3 children. But I know it's so hard to stay positive in these circumstances. I'm still feeling fairly down after 2 consecutives. I can imagine how bad a third could be.

Welcome alice and katxdoll. katdoll there's nothing wrong with you most likely. I think most NHS trusts don't investigate until after 3 MCs. And I think most came back saying it's unexplained. (Just like fertility tests). Fact is, one in five pregnancies (some stats says 1/4) ends in a MC, and most in the first trimester. There is a fairly high chance to have two in a row, 1/5 * 1/5 = one in ten. If you already have a little one, chances are you are normal. Also most MCs are because of chromosonal disorder in the embryo. It implies there's a higher chance of it if either the mum or the dad is older. (I don't know what your age is).

Hi lina, you poor thing you have had a rough time of it. Will you look into it further now you've had 3 mc? My clinic said they wouldn't go near an investigation until that point.

Hey liesl!

xkat sorry you're having a rubbish time too. Can I ask though- how do you know about the chemical pregnancy if you haven't started bleeding?

There are tests that can be done into whether sonething is triggering mcs but a lot of the time I think it's just horrible rotten luck. As above, my doc said they will only start to investigate any causes once you've had 3 with the same partner.

Chipschipschips Tue 14-May-13 09:01:54

Convinced myself to POAS this morning following a day of heartburn yesterday and it's another BFN. That's 3 tests in 7 days. I've got to stop now sad

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 14-May-13 09:04:15

thunder is your clinic private or the NHS? I'm wondering what my trust's policy is. (I'm fully expecting a third mc). I'm going to ask for tests after my 3rd too as I've heard that's the norm and that before that point, you aren't even classed as having multiple miscarriages. If I have no luck with the NHS, I might have to find out if there are local clinics doing this sort of work. I only know of a fertility clinic locally, are these the sort of places to go to?

katatonic Tue 14-May-13 09:53:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 14-May-13 10:24:55

katatonic so sorry to hear you are here with us. I had my second MC about the same point in pregnancy as you. I found out at my 12 week scan, scheduled for a rescan the next week, but had a very traumatic MC before I get to the rescan.

Have you checked your hcg levels are back to normal before you use the OPKs? I didn't check first as I will start using my CBFM after my first AF. (Only using ewcm and bbt for this cycle 0). Anyway, as long as your hcg levels are back to normal, then the OPK would be accurate.

Am I right in thinking that you ovulated about 2 weeks after the MC. I guess that could be right if you bounce back straight to a normal cycle? My fertility friend said I ovulated on day 23, so I think my hcg was probably high for quite while after the ERPC.

GuffSmuggler Tue 14-May-13 10:45:28

Hi all,

Welcome to the new people, so sorry you find yourself here, it's just so sad how many people have to go through this sad

MrsF sorry things are still stressful for you, I guess if you are having building work done that is a massive stress so perhaps DH will be more receptive once it's finished?

I'm already feeling anxious about the 2ww and I'm not even sure if I've passed ovulation yet. If I don't get a BFP this cycle I'm definitely going to use sticks and temp next month as this TTC business is exhausting!!

katatonic Tue 14-May-13 10:47:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 14-May-13 11:19:25

katatonic I mean just POAS with a home pregnancy kit. There's no reason to stress about it now. But if you do have some internet cheapies around, you can test if it's still detectable. Otherwise, just keep dtd three times a week if you can!

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 14-May-13 11:20:39

The ovulation kits like CBFM suggests you start tracking after you get your first AF after a MC. Just don't worry so much for this WTF cycle.

Chipschipschips Tue 14-May-13 11:46:14

I like the term 'WTF cycle' that very much desribes mine atm grin

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 14-May-13 15:03:51

Sorry for your negative chips

I'm glad I used up my last HPT for the post-miscarriage negative result so there are none in the house to tempt me once the TTC gets under way.

Step away from the tests!

amicablemoomin Tue 14-May-13 17:28:58

would you mind if i join in? my mmc was in feb, at eight weeks. My first pregnancy. We are ttc now again, but body still seems to be on wtf, no idea what is going on which I'm really struggling with (not that I'm a total control freak). That, and being sad a lot.

xkatxdollx Tue 14-May-13 17:30:21

Ill be 23 in august I was 21 when I had my daughter all pregnancys have been with the same partner and I went in for my hcg tests first was 25 then 49 then after the weekend it went down to 33 so the doctor told me i am having a chem preg and I should start bleeding in the next few days and it bugs me because I asked what my progesterone levels were and he said he hasn't and prolly won't test me for those which is stupid to me anyways but whatever I'm not a doctor haha and if I have another mc then he's sending me to a specialist but said I can't try again right away which makes me happy just sucks that like everyone seems to be big fat and miserably pregnant here and I wanna be miserably pregnant too hahaha

xkatxdollx Tue 14-May-13 17:31:37

Said I can try again** haha

RainbowConnections Wed 15-May-13 11:32:28

Hi. Think i'd like to join your thread please. Had a moment yesterday (listening with DS to Kermit!) where I realised I was sad but just "normal" sad and the panic since MC 2 wks ago was gone. I also got a negative HPT result last night and it felt strangely good and time to move on.... 

So thinking its time to try again. I didnt find it easy to share or, to be honest, offer support on the MC board but it helped not being alone so would like to have a go at joining in here.

And i had a question straight off - If you start TTC before first AF after MC, how do you know when to test, and if you are lucky enough to get pregnant, how is it dated? Should i be using ovulation tests to get a better idea? I would ideally like to be a bit more relaxed this month than that and get relationship back on track.

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 15-May-13 11:42:25

Rainbow after my first MC, I used bbt and ewcm to chart. I saw a defnite temperature spike and that matches with the ewcm I observed. Also if you have been using OPKs before, now that you are clean on the HPT, you can use that as well. Do you know how long is your usual luteal phase? If not, then 14 days after ovulation is probably a safe bet.

As for dating it. I fell pregnant again on cycle 0 after my first MC. My midwife dated my second MC from the day of my first MC. When I ended up in hospital for my second MC, the doctors recorded my last AF as the one before my first MC. They said it's not strictly correct for the midwife to date my second pregnancy's last known period with the date of my previous MC, but they have to use something! The date would be corrected at the dating scan anyway. As I see it, we'll just be seen by the midwife and have the 12 week scan earlier than expected. (Looks like you might be delayed by 2 weeks). It's way better than seeing them too late isn't it?

GuffSmuggler Wed 15-May-13 13:21:29

Oh lordy I've got more EWCM, I think perhaps I was mistaken at the weekend and I'm ovulating later than I thought!

We're going to have to DTD tonight and then we won't be seeing each other again until Sunday so I hope that's enough hmm

Am definitely using OPKs, body temping, EVERYTHING next cycle if this doesn't work as I'm bloomin exhausted!

Welcome to the new people, am sad to see how many people are having to join this thread, I hope everyone will be gone with BFPs soon.

amicablemoomin Wed 15-May-13 14:25:08

good luck Guff.

Rainbow, my doctor said dont worry about dating, like Toddle says, they will date from the scan. He said it is so accurate now dont let that hold you back!

I know what you mean about 'normal' sad. I get waves of it, but then I'll be fine for a week. I'm trying to use the OPK sticks, but I'm a bit lax to be honest, which is a bit of a problem!

RainbowConnections Wed 15-May-13 14:57:12

Thanks OneLittleToddleTerror and amicablemoomin- Couldn't get my head round it, but you're right, overall it won't matter. I suppose it just sounds like a lot of uncertainty initially but I guess that's the way it goes.

Used OPKs last time, got pregnant first month but never saw lh surge (might have tested too late in cycle) so might try charting at a later point, did a vague bit of reading about it before pregnancy. Will go find out a bit more.

Just treated myself to hair cut as part the new non-depressed me and had a whole "Have you just got the one little 'un, do you think you'll have another child" line of questioning. Grr....

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 15-May-13 15:13:44

Oh a hair cut is good! I treated myself to a colour and a gym membership grin

Bakingtins Wed 15-May-13 16:45:21

Just checking in as you've disappeared off my "threads I'm on".
I'm sorry to see so many newbies but you are all very welcome. Hope we'll be seeing BFPs for you all on a Friday very soon.

Rainbow I've taken a tip from someone on here and decided to be blunt when asked that question by random strangers when it is none of their business "yes, we'd love to have another but I've had 3 miscarriages". Shuts them up sharpish. It's such an insensitive question to ask a woman when there are so many potential reasons they might be struggling with fertility/miscarriage/circumstances that mean they can't just snap their fingers and have a baby when they want one.

guff grit your teeth and go for it! I hope it results in a BFP on the 31st - you deserve it!

BirdsDoIt Wed 15-May-13 19:38:29

Welcome to all newbies though sorry to see you here.

rainbow I'm in roughly the same phase as you - TTC before first AF. Erpc was five and a half weeks ago and still no sign of AF! No idea what my body's doing so I'm going to poas every few days couple of weeks until it arrives, though dtd a bit sporadically at the moment so it's unlikely we'll get a bfp this cycle. Once I have first AF I might start using an opk, and embark on the scary sounding SMEP!

I agree with what someone said above about accuracy of dating scans meaning you definitely shouldn't worry too much on that front (sorry, on phone so can't scroll up to see who it was). I've also found it gives me a bit of reassurance to keep a list of dates eg when I got first bfn after erpc, and subsequent bfns - so if I then get a bfp I'll have some rough sense of possible dates...hope that makes sense!

Two questions for you ladies - how long should i leave it before i go to doctor to enquire about non-arrival of AF? 8 weeks post erpc?

And second question, I'm not sure I've ever noticed ewcm - does everyone get this and I just haven't been eagleeyed enough? or should it be very obvious - and some people just don't get it?? Sorry if this is a weird question!

BirdsDoIt Wed 15-May-13 19:44:51

Ps for me, the main worry about ttc before first AF was that if I didn't know dates, then if I went for early scan and it looked like the baby was smaller than it should be and we couldn't see a heartbeat, we'd have to wait a horrible week before going back to check it was healthy and growing etc (I had mmc first time round, so I know I'll be super paranoid about it happening again). But then DH pointed out that as my cycle is so irregular anyway (between 35 and 45 days) I wouldn't really have a clue what my dates are even after first AF, unless I'm temping or using opks. So we just decided to go for it!

RainbowConnections Wed 15-May-13 20:43:18

The tracking bfn bfp dates does make sense BirdsDoIt. I know it makes no odds to the outcome or long term progress but it'd give a bit of an idea of where you are, which is what I was hoping for.

Re the EWCM, I too had never noticed, but the month I got pregnant I had read about it & paid attention and was able to identify it.

Good tip Bakingtins. Must be really hard dealing with insensitivity after a number of MCs or trying a long time.

Off to google SMEP?! or, as I have just had my first wine in 2 months, might close the laptop and head to bed. All academic for me as DH at pub and family arrive for long weekend tomorrow.

Emki Wed 15-May-13 22:02:49

Hello all - {{waves}} to newbies - hoping we all get bfp soon -

Thinking ill be OV in the next couple days - I'm using opk - I usually OV day 14/15 but as this is first cycle I'm not sure if ill have a wtf cycle. DH is away but back tomorrow so have very unromatically booked him in to dtd!!! Eek! Lets hope I remember these times as forgot last! (For those who commented up thread)

So I'm on the look out for ewcm too - know that I won't be lucky enough to get a bfp in first go but still hoping I will! Like we all are I guess.

Think it was birds who asked sorry if someone else but I contacted doc after 9 weeks of no AF - went in for a scan and all was fine - said stress probably delayed OV - if you want reassurance call the epau for a scan - it helped me definitely

Hello tins xx

Lieslvontrapp Wed 15-May-13 22:05:44

So sorry to see that so many newbies find themselves on this thread. Waves to everyone.

Birdsdoit I went to gp at 9.5 weeks with no af after erpc and they told me to wait another month but luckily it came the next day but someone on here was offered a scan at about 9 weeks. But if youre only 5 wks post erpc hopefully you won't have to wait that long. I know it's hard to do but try not that think about it too much as I think the stress makes it worse.

Topslou so what did you decide about poas?

Do we have many Friday poasers this week?

GuffSmuggler Wed 15-May-13 22:09:22

birds I get really obvious stringy EWCM, is hard to miss, so I don't think you aren't looking properly. Is probably just one of those things some people get lots of and some people don't...

I think someone on here had a scan to check out the non-arrival of AF but I'm not sure how long they waited. Sorry I can't remember who it was, am sure someone more helpful will be along soon!

Emki Wed 15-May-13 22:43:03

It was me I think! Waited 9 weeks after erpc then went for scan and they could see I had just OV so ad came along in the following 10 days - it's normal to wait up to 7 weeks - book in for scan if it hasn't arrived ny then xxx

BirdsDoIt Wed 15-May-13 23:17:46

Thank you very much everyone for answering my questions! Really helpful - and reassuring. You're all brilliant!

rainbow SMEP is the sperm meets egg plan - if you google it you'll find it. I'd never heard of it but I realised we were doing a version of it the month I finally got pregnant (after 8 months of trying) - basically having sex every other day, from one week after your AF finishes (I think...) So going to try it again with opk.

Also just downloaded fertility friend app and their charting guide which seems really informative - thanks to whoever suggested that upthread. Now I just need first AF to arrive...trying not to think about it too much though liesl as you say (great name btw).

Topslou Thu 16-May-13 00:40:23

So I did poas on Tuesday morning liesl & it was bfn. AF due today, normally arrives bright & early to spoil my morning so keeping everything crossed that she doesn't & I'll poas again on Friday. Only ended up having 2 drinks tonight anyway as got sore throat & mouth ulcers so not really in the mood. Anyone else joining me in poas on Friday?

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 16-May-13 13:25:00

Hope you are lucky on Friday Lou

I am about 22 days post MC and have been having niggling ovulation pain and a bit of EWCM over the last few days. I POAOPK twice and got negatives, so not quite sure if it is anything to write home about.

Unfortunately DH is still reluctant. We have been <ahem> active the last couple of nights but no penetration. I am hoping that he is just getting used to the idea and we can try properly after this WTF cycle.

Good luck everyone POAS tomorrow.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 16-May-13 14:21:19

Birds CM isn't always immediately apparent, EW or otherwise. I was reading up on it a while back, and you need to have a good turtle around inside, then see what you can bring out! eew you should be able to differentiate between watery, thick, creamy, stretchy... EWCM should look exactly like egg white and stretch several centimetres between your fingers!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 16-May-13 14:22:36

Shit! I mean a good FURTLE around! At no point do I condone inserting any shelled reptiles into your fanjo! confused hmm grin

<tiptoes in and sniggers at turtle, leaves big bag of chocolates and settles in corner>

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 16-May-13 14:24:27


Bakingtins Thu 16-May-13 16:02:44

As a veterinary professional I take a very dim view of inserting turtles in your orifices wink please don't try this at home, viewers.

Aww. Not even a little terrapin?

Or what about one of those giant African snails?

Emki Thu 16-May-13 17:17:44

I'm giggling too in the corner x

Emki Thu 16-May-13 17:21:26

Also hoping dh up for dtd tonight .... It's been a while - though not as long as I originally thought ... Still no line on opk but hoping will OV in next few days ... No ewcm either - thought I'd mention it as its the topic du jour! Xxxx hope everyone ok xxx

Topslou Thu 16-May-13 18:49:08

No poas for me tomorrow after all. AF has arrived. Good luck for anyone else testing tomorrow.

alyant79 Thu 16-May-13 19:34:06

Hahaha turtle.... DH is bound to ask me what I'm sniggering about any minute now

CupcakeFanatic Thu 16-May-13 20:04:45

Sorry to hear your AF arrived Topslou, hugs x

BirdsDoIt Thu 16-May-13 20:13:45

Ha ha thanks for the advice saggy!!! I'll never look at a turtle in the same way again x

BirdsDoIt Thu 16-May-13 20:16:35

Ps Furtle? Is that a word? Possibly my new favourite word.

sad topslou sorry she got you.

My af due Sun/Monday but I'm not bothering with poas Friday. Will have to be a poas tues if she hasn't arrived by then. <Prepares for self-slapping>

Furtle is indeed a great word. I don't seem to get ewcm though so no furtlin' fun for me...

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 16-May-13 23:37:47

You need to furtle for it Thunder There is bound to be some in there somewhere! grin
Im actually feeling a bit despondent right now. In the 2ww, poas due Mon 26th. Might poas next friday, might wait and see what happens. Its not been that long really, this will be my third AF since my MC , but I just feel like it will never happen. sad

JBrd Thu 16-May-13 23:57:02

grin at the turtle.

Well, I don't think I'll bother with poas tomorrow, looks as if af is about to arrive - been spotting yesterday and today, with some mild cramps over the last few days. CD27 today, so it's spot on, given that this is my wtf cycle. Which I am quite pleased about, things are back on track then. On the other hand I have to admit I was harbouring a small hope to be one of those lucky ladies who get pg again immediately after a mc...confused

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 17-May-13 00:05:29

sad JBrd

Out of interest, does anyone have a good sex drive during the first half of the month, then lose the plot later?
CD6 - CD15 I am all... interested, then after that, I just want to slap DP if he comes near! confused Does the drop in libido mean Ive OV and my fertile window is done?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 17-May-13 00:06:55

P.S. We need an injection of posifrickintivity here! Whats happened to me everyone?

Ariel21 Fri 17-May-13 07:46:04

Hi all. Well I'm waiting for AF with anticipation now! Think I OV'd weekend before last so it should be soon right? Not much point in POAS as we only DTD once, so the waiting game it is. Look forward to some POAS Friday news today!

Ariel21 Fri 17-May-13 07:48:30

And yes Saggy I think that must be normal - it's nature's way of saying 'get on it - now!' I too find the libido vanishes after OVing, sorry hubster.

Lieslvontrapp Fri 17-May-13 08:39:53

So no poas hpt here but poas opk and got my first high on the cbfm at cd15. Quite suprised I got a high already as 38 day cycles before mmc meant I should have ovulated around cd 25. I guess I may just get 10 days of high now. What's other people's experiences with the cbfm?

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 17-May-13 09:07:04

LRD I have no problem on dubbed programs. I've watched my share of Japanese horror film dubbed. I prefer it over subtitles.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 17-May-13 09:11:02

Oh wrong thread lol!

JBrd you are doing very well to get AF (or might be implantation) on CD27. We all know cycle 0 is a bit screwed up, at least you know you won't be waiting 7-9 weeks. I think emki up thread said the docs told her it could take up to 7 weeks for things to settle back down. It'd be such a blow to lost another two months. I think I ovulated on CD23, and we were on the same antenatal bus, so you are ahead atm wink. Think positive!

Rockchick1984 Fri 17-May-13 09:29:08

Saggy same here WRT sex drive - although for some unknown reason I always get really horny when AF is due - it's the way I know she's due smile

My AF arrived 3 weeks after I'd stopped bleeding following ERPC, so logically I'm due AF/BFP on 2nd June however a few days after AF finished I had crazy bucketloads of EWCM so no idea if that was early ovulation or something left from AF - generally don't get any visible CM so not like anything I've ever experienced before! Anyone got any idea?

Good luck to anyone POAS today!

Oli30 Fri 17-May-13 14:09:09

May I join the posifrickintivity thread? I miscarried at twelve weeks over the Easter weekend and had ERPC on 3rd April. All pretty miserable. Longing to be pregnant again, but was advised to wait a cycle before trying again. Ignored that advice and as AF hasn't visited since the ERPC was going to POAS this morning. But my old friend arrived this morning. Mixed feelings - happy that everything is working as it should; sad that I've got nothing to celebrate. Roll on June BFPs
everyone xx

LJH23 Fri 17-May-13 18:30:41

Evening all, I found this thread this morning and was so relieved to read what I've been feeling since my first miscarriage (first pregnancy) and ERPC at the end of February. It's been a properly crappy year and I'm up for a lot of positfrickintivity, I can tell you. My sister in law is about to pop and my best mate has just got pregnant with her second and whilst we only started trying in December, I'm starting to feel downhearted and slightly obsessed, which in turn makes me feel guilty for obsessing about it. After all, how many times have I been told (by pregnant people/mums) "don't think about it and it'll just happen"?!
Anyway, thank you all for the support you have inadvertently given me and I hope you don't mind me gate crashing your chat. Whilst I wouldn't wish this state of being on anyone, it's of such a huge comfort to read of others in a similar position.
DH off abroad with work half way through what will probably be my OV window this month, so I'm feeling thoroughly cheated. At least it's Friday, I guess!

Bakingtins Fri 17-May-13 19:21:39

Liesl CBFM says high as soon as it sees oestrogen, then peak if it sees LH. If it misses ov then it will just say high for 20 sticks. I used to get high from day 6 or 7 and I normally ov about day 16, so it wouldn't surprise me if you're on track for a normal ( for you ) cycle

Emki Fri 17-May-13 20:37:42

{{{waves}}} to newbies! Sorry you're here but this thread is great support xxxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 17-May-13 20:57:27

GAH! More WTF today. CD18, I have had spotting, cramps and sore boobs. If AF turns up now I WILL NOT BE HAPPY! I would really just like my body to work properly for a change! angry sad

Emki Fri 17-May-13 21:30:12

Oh rubbish saggy it's so rubbish not being in control! I'm doing cb opk and still no OV detected - actually no lines at all on stick this morning. I'm on day 15 now - guessing its all taking longer as first AF Mc.

However we managed to dtd - going to again tonight and tomorrow as hoping ill OV soon - we're actually going out tomorrow night - have not done that in a long time! Feels strange to be back here again ... It was such a relief when I got pg in jan after first mc - but feeling good - moving on and must try to think that every month is another one closer to a bfp!

Happy weekends to all! Remember to post on Sunday something you're looking forward to next week xxxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 17-May-13 21:34:33

I gave up on OPKs. Tried them for 2 months, got lines but never equal ones. I was just getting confused so I ditched them!

Emki Fri 17-May-13 21:40:37

Might be what I do .... Though they have worked in the past .... But I'll give it another few days xxx

RainbowConnections Sat 18-May-13 00:48:07

Hi all. Checking for Friday news. I hope people have cheerful weekend plans

Saggy sounds very frustrating.

Emki in 2 pregnancies i haven't had clear OPK results - even the months when i did get pregnant. That said, my internet order of cb test sticks arrived today, still going to give it a go. Hope you have a good night out.

Trying to get enthusiastic about TTC. All I really want is to rewind a couple of weeks to being excited with a little baby on the way. Like everyone i guess.

DTD tonight for first time since MC and now feeling a bit flat. I felt like I should, nothings going to happen otherwise. DH would be hurt to know, but its hard to find babymaking a happy thing again.
And I assume pain after first DTD is just another common experience of the whole crappy business.

Self indulgent grumbling.

More furtling turtle posts needed!

Lieslvontrapp Sat 18-May-13 08:14:30

Welcome oli and LJH sorry you find yourselves here.

Thanks for the reply baking I really hope you're right and this is going to be me getting back to normal cycles this month. Got my 2nd high this morning. How are you?

So no success this fertility Friday. Hopefully we are going to come back with a vengeance during the next weeks/ months!

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sat 18-May-13 09:04:04

Furtling is indeed a wonderful word!

More self indulgence from me I'm afraid. DB and DSIL told us they are expecting last night. So excited for them but had a good old weeping fest after they were gone. DH lovely though.

Good luck to all the DTDers!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 18-May-13 09:46:11

Ffs! I'm fairly certain AF is here! So that's a 32 day followed by a 19 day cycle! <<head desk>>

Oh pants saggy that is crap. Weren't they usually long cycles in the past? And are you sure it's af?

Hi * rainbow* and well done for getting back on the horse so to speak. It's bound to be difficult so give yourself a bit of time and space.

Misspositivity Sat 18-May-13 13:07:18

Hi guys I have been quiet for a while as feeling a bit run down. Lots of early nights and feeling better

saggy your cycles r a little hard to predict, my cousin was same after mc despite being regular before. Took a few months and some acunpcture and back to normal. Yours will settle soon fingers crossed

Hello all newbies.

Well af due tomorrow m, first since mc at 5 weeks. Af after mc at 10 weeks came back normal cycle. No twinges yet. Maybe get to poas next Friday. :-))

DP and I are off for a romantic night away on Tuesday. Can't wait and much needed. Pity I won't be ovulating.!!! Must plan better.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 18-May-13 13:27:31

Thunder I refuse to even consider that alternative! I'll just be disappointed! sad I'm not very posifrickintive ATM!

Well I'm not saying anything....

And I can't really anyway- should be renamed thundercatsaregrumpy right now! Got something to distract yourself with today?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 18-May-13 13:49:23

Selling cheese and pies at the Greene King beer festival in Bury Dt Edmunds! smile

Mmmmmmmm pies.....

Mmmmmmmmm cheese......

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm beer........

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 18-May-13 16:57:11

Right there with you thunder.

Sorry to hear AF is mucking you around saggy. Mine have been odd too post mc. Plus I've started getting really bad period pain which I've never really had before (had pain, but nothing like this).

Sorry you've been feeling run down missp, but yay to feeling better.

Welcome to all the new people, sorry you have to be here though.

I'm feeling a bit weary re. posifrickintivity today. Didn't get much dtd in over ovulation, and have scary uterus scan appointment Tues. I'm sure it'll just be a consultation rather than actual scan so I doubt I'll leave any the wiser but its still a bit nerve wracking.

To cheer myself up am staying in tonight with beer, Chinese and Eurovision. Yippee.

I have also noticed that we seem a bit more positive when we get some Friday BFPs. Who is due to poas this week? I'm not till the week after (anyone with me?).

nearlyreadytopop Sat 18-May-13 17:21:16

Hi all, thought I would check in to see if there are any BFP's to cheer me up.
Still no Af or BFP for me. That's 11 weeks now since D&C. GP was useless re lack of af and conceiving. I did get bloods taken which have shown that I'm anaemic.
To add to the grump the lovely girl across the road has a very gorgeous baby bump and every time I see her I am envy. I try not to be but she's due around the time I should have been and its just rubbish.

MrsExcited Sat 18-May-13 17:29:24

Feeling your pain 'nearly' I'm not as far on as you 8 weeks today since op, but miserable with no AF yet and still a BFN.

Friend at works wife is due the same day as i would have been, still trying to persuade him he doesn't have to keep it all quiet for my sake, but i am glad he's not bubbling too much.

There's a lot of new names on her since i last dropped in, more heart ache out there.

so sprinkling some baby dust, but in reality would be almost as happy if af arrived!!

alicebear Sat 18-May-13 19:15:19

That sounds so frustrating nearly & mrsE. Hope things head back to normal for you both soon or better still the lack of AF is due to a BFP being on the horizon.
Sorry things are so crazy for you saggy you must wonder what's going on.
I'm on cd 7 of cycle 1 so not sure what to expect but hoping it will be reasonably normal & will probably use opks to see what's happening.
Sorry to see more & more of us in this boat. Nice we can support each other though.
It's hard with all the other pregnancy announcements. We just heard some friends due when I should have been. Very happy for them but somehow makes me sadder that it's not us too. Would have been lovely to be having babies at same time & suspect I'll always feel we should have a child the same age as theirs. DH doesn't get that.
Oh well. Just keeping fingers crossed we might get a sticky BFP soon.
Sorry can't remember who said they found DTD not great straight after mc. It took me a while to get back there too. Just time really but did find the first time a bit emotional. (DH didn't get that either!)
Hope next week brings us some posifrickintivity.

katatonic Sun 19-May-13 08:51:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alicebear Sun 19-May-13 09:14:52

Hope it is katatonic fingers crossed.

Floweroct Sun 19-May-13 09:52:25

Fingers crossed katatonic!

Sorry to hear you're having another wtf cycle saggy!

After my slight meltdown the other week I did get a smiley face on my opk on Monday and Tuesday so must be about 4dpo. Was feeling quite calm about it but now stressing about af coming and then having to deal with my cyst and maybe not ttc for a month or so but in the grand scheme of things it wouldn't be the end of the world! Trying to the posifrickintivity going!

Hopefully well see a run if bfps this Friday!

Cd 1 here sad

kat i had loads of wtf spotting etc after ERPC. Hope it is ib for you tho!

nearlyreadytopop Sun 19-May-13 17:36:11

fingers crossed Kat, my last pregnancy I had a 3day implantation bleed.

katatonic Sun 19-May-13 18:01:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ariel21 Sun 19-May-13 19:06:50

Hello everyone, sorry to see that we're not feeling that positive today. AF has arrived for me so at least that explains the hellish mood swings. CD1, bring it on!

Shall we share our nice things for the week ahead? I have dance tomorrow night, and a job interview on Wednesday to look forward to.

Misspositivity Sun 19-May-13 19:32:25

Well I have been a very naughty girl. Expecting fish slapping.
Poas today and I think there was a very very faint line!!! Might be evaporation line or my mind planning tricks. Will try again in morning.

Nice things this week:

Off work. Yippee
London without DD for 1 night (cocktails might be in or out)

Misspositivity Sun 19-May-13 19:35:11

ariel. Good luck with job interview.

Bakingtins Sun 19-May-13 19:38:21

Ooooh fingers crossed Miss P update tomorrow please!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 19-May-13 19:42:03

Good luck MissP.

Ok. Cheerful things... I have 2 foals due this month and friend 1. smile

katatonic Sun 19-May-13 20:21:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katatonic Sun 19-May-13 20:22:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ooo congrats mrsp!

saggy ahhhhhhh!!!!! Foalies! I'm hoping you're going to post piccies? And was it af?

kat holiday sounds smashing.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 19-May-13 20:39:35

Of course I will post pics. The last foals pictures are on my profile. Yes I'm sure it's AF, although its still light. I am really crampy and sick feeling. sad

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sun 19-May-13 20:48:38

Oh Saggy, it's completely shit feeling like your body is betraying you. If it helps at all, the 4 months before I conceived DC2 were 17, 24, 36, 29 day cycles. Just because this cycle is a random one doesn't mean that next month won't be the BFP one.

I am feeling crampy today so I am hoping that first post-MC is on its way. Will be pleased to get another miscarriage milestone over and done with.

Congrats MrsP! It's nice to have some happy news for a change.

Speaking of happy thoughts, my Happy Sunday Thought is: the building work is finished, we are back home and we have a new bedroom carpet going in on Tuesday (oh, the thrills!).

Ariel21 Sun 19-May-13 21:09:36

OMG foals! I LOVE baby animals. Saw a whole brood of gorgeous ducklings on the canal today.

Exciting news Miss P - I look forward to updates!

Thank you for the good luck wishes smile

Confused at the mo as AF started heavy this morning and has now pretty much vanished. Guess it might be odd as first since MC. Pretty much bang on 4 weeks.

Rockchick1984 Sun 19-May-13 22:14:11

Congratulations MissP!

I need someone to slap me with a wet fish - I'm only on CD16 (although I had EWCM on CD9) and I'm already symptom spotting! The 2 things that made me test when I got my BFP last time was back ache and bad wind blush and am dealing with both of these at the moment. Tell me I'm being stupid and its far too soon to symptom spot?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 19-May-13 22:36:19

It's far to soon to symptom spot! grin

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sun 19-May-13 22:55:08

Sorry MissP for marrying you off. I blame Thunder!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 19-May-13 23:07:32

Something occurred to me earlier.
I was working with a guy, and we were chatting about the fact that there were loads of pg people around. It progressed to him telling me his wife had several MC and I told him about mine. <<random conversation with a virtual stranger!!>>
I was pondering the conversation, when it dawned on me that I've had 3 decent conversations IRL about this, and ALL of them were with men! confused one with my lovely boss, the other with a friend.
It just struck as a interesting! I obviously know lots of women, and I know that many of them have had MCs, but none of us have ever really discussed it! confused

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 05:43:51

Bad news from me today.

I had my second day of low bbt post ovulation. Below cross line temp kind of low. Then I noticed spotting when I go to the toilet. I believe I'm out this cycle. Thing is the drop in bbt started at 8dpo. That is far too short for a luteal phase! Has anyone had a short luteal phase post mc and then bounce back to normal?

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 05:46:09

I was breastfeeding when I got my first bfp. One of the side effects of BF is short luteal phase. And the I didn't have an AF between my first and second pregnancies. So I don't dont if I have a luteal phase problem already.

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 05:47:33

Forgot to add I'm no longer BF. I'm a bit down with this cycle's short luteal phase sad

CamomileHoneyVanilla Mon 20-May-13 07:30:00

Woo hoo - Congratulation MissP!!!

Sorry thing aren't looking good OLTT. I don't do BBT enough to fully get what's not looking good (!) but I really hope it turns out to be misleading and you get your BFP soon.

Rockchick, I'm at 4dpo and have spent the last 24 hours oscillating between symptom spotting and telling myself not to be so ridiculous! It's enough to drive you crazy isn't it.

Ariel, sorry AF has arrived. Good luck for the interview.

DDMF, yay about building being completed and fingers crossed for AF. I found I felt better after that milestone.

Hey to everyone else. Apologies if I've missed anyone - I'm on the phone.

Bakingtins Mon 20-May-13 08:06:58

I stopped BF as I wondered if it was interfering with TTC when it was taking a long time (many moons ago now). Even though I had only been doing one feed a day for ages I still had a massive hormone crash and a couple of odd cycles. I'm sure it's temporary.

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 08:44:08

Sorry I forgot to say grats to misspositivity. I am feeling really down atm so hoping work will keep me really busy. And I need a bit handful of positivity fairy dust!

RainbowConnections Mon 20-May-13 09:58:07

Sorry you're so down OneLittleToddlerTerror. I hope work is OK.

Nice to read the happy Sunday thoughts. I'm having profiteroles for breakfast to kick off my week!

Fingers are crossed for you MissPositivity.

Anyone know if ovulation pain is ever something to be concerned about? I'd never had it before - only knew what it was from googling & positive OPK test. Was bent over with stabbing pains at some points yesterday - and some bleeding after DTD last night. Completely fine today so assuming OK.

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 10:10:02

rainbow I'm sure we've all been down about the MCs. I guess the short luteal phase and the AF just triggered old wounds sad. bakingtins I'm no longer BF so I was expecting a normal luteal phase. But I haven't had a normal period since DD's birth because I was either BF or pregnant (twice, and both were MC). This AF is my cycle 0 so I should stay positive and just write it off as WTF? I couldn't have a luteal phase deficiency if I managed to get to 6 weeks and 12 weeks, can I? I know LP problems can cause miscarriages, and that's my worry.

As for ovulation pain rainbow I've heard on here that ovarian cysts could be a cause. But then it's probably nothing like this. And ovarian cysts won't stop you getting BFP and healthy babies. Just giving you pain! Fx it's all ok for you too.

amicablemoomin Mon 20-May-13 10:36:17

help please.....I've only had one AF since my mmc in Feb - last one was 4 April - is this normal? Before i was on the pill so not really sure what my 'normal' is but so frustrated right now!

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 10:43:00

Now rereading your post bakingtins you are saying it might take a couple of cycle to recover from BF. I hope it's the same with the MC then, and that I shouldn't worry too much until it's a problem after a couple of cycles. (Trying very very hard to keep positive).

amicable I don't know what's normal sad. I hope your body is just settling down.

Misspositivity Mon 20-May-13 10:59:12

rainbow. I wouldn't worry Bout ovulation pain. Cysts generally sort themselves out too. Sounds like its all working.

Think my test was Evap line. Tried first response tidy and a BFN.
Feel really silly and stupid and sad.

Onwards and upwards.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 20-May-13 11:29:52

{{{hugs}}} MissP. You arent silly. I bet every one of us has been in the same boat! It'll be BFPs for all of us next cycle! smile

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 11:37:26

missp you are definitely not silly. I've done the stare too hard and a line appeared camp grin.

RainbowConnections Mon 20-May-13 12:44:15

Really disappointing Missp but definitely not silly. Saggy is right, we've prob all been there. x

Emki Mon 20-May-13 12:50:00

I've been there miss p even done it with lines on opk too!

Finally got 2 lines on opk stick this morning - luckily dh working at home today and I work locally I'm going to pop home at lunch to dtd! A bit obsessive I know - but just in case he conks out on sofa tonight .... Then we dtd tomorrow too -

We had a great date night - it surprised us both what a nice time we had - grin definitely going to do it once a month -we've had such a tough year and was good to have fun and relax.

My thing to look forward to is obviously dtd hmm and also decided to drive to france for a few days on Saturday so can pack and plan this week

Looks like ill be POAS on 31st or there abouts .... Trying not to put much hope on this month as only 1st full cycle since mc but will be in a really bad mood if it doesn't happen even though I know it won't

I think we can all look forward to march/April babies ...

I like the fact that someone on here is having profiteroles for breakfast! What a great way to start the week xxxx hugs to everyone feeling rubbish xxxx

RainbowConnections Mon 20-May-13 12:55:02

Daytime DTD sounds like a great start to the week too!

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Mon 20-May-13 13:14:50

Rainbow, I often get ovulation pain (stabbing pains, mild cramping and backache) - I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

OLTT, try not to worry too much about the short luteal phase. This is your WTF cycle, right? I expect things will take a while to settle down. And remember BBT is not infallible, especially if you're waking at random times, I'll, hot, stressed etc. You may well be worrying over nothing.

MissP, you are not silly. Please don't feel silly sad Been there, done that.

Misspositivity Mon 20-May-13 13:19:01

emki you have cheered me up. Lunchtime DTD. Excellent work and dedication.

Lol at the thought of you running back to the office all flushed.

Emki Mon 20-May-13 13:51:40

I'm back , I'm flushed, I can't stop giggling to myself!!! Nearly didn't happen as dh took a 'very important work call' so I sat in bed and read my book - thought ' ooh this is nice , maybe I shouldn't go back...' Anyway I'm now scoffing lunch down - good to share with you guys - knew you would understand and very glad I brought a smile to your faces xxx

AF arrived for me this morning sad trying to stay positive and view it as a 'fresh start' but it is just so gutting to be at square one all over again. Getting ever so close to that 1 year mark since I last got pregnant and it's scaring me a bit.

Crossing my fingers for everybody else. We need some good news!


Emki Mon 20-May-13 14:12:21

Hugs overanxious well done for trying to be positive - it's so hard but every month is another month closer to getting that bfp.

Yes it's nearly year for me when I miscarried the first time - 28th June - really thought I would be much further on by now .... Ggrrrr xxxxx. Treat yourself this week do something really nice for just you. Also up thread tins said she donated to a baby charity - I think I might do this to mark the time xxx

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 20-May-13 15:04:51

overanxious we are now in sync. (It's CD1 for me as well). I'll keep you company at the back of the bus.

GuffSmuggler Mon 20-May-13 15:20:50

Hi all,

Have been away a few days with no MN and was hoping to come back to a load of BFPs, but I'm sorry to see this thread is not having a good run at the moment.

Keep the faith ladies, hopefully it means the next few weeks will be particularly fruitful.

I'm now in the dreaded 2WW which makes me feel anxious and depressed at the lack of control we have over this whole thing. Am trying to keep positive though and planning nice things to do. Hopefully going to book up a nice weekend away with DH soon.

Hello to the newbies, sorry you are here. This thread is usually really positive (honest!).

alicebear Mon 20-May-13 18:31:59

Sorry missp rubbish news. Sorry also oltt that you're feeling down. It is probably just a wtf cycle & hopefully things will be better next time.
Rock sounds like you're about a wk ahead of me - we had our erpcs at similar times. Hope your symptom spotting turns out to be because a BFP is heading your way. When will you poas?
emki like the lunchtime dtd strategy hope it's successful.
4 more days & then a bank hol & only working 2 days next week.

alicebear Mon 20-May-13 18:41:39

Forgot to say sorry to hear AF here overanxious & hope 2ww flies by guff

Sapphireday Mon 20-May-13 19:37:42

I haven't braved lunchtime dtd since I was in my early twenties. I was dating someone from work at time and we decided to pop home for a quickie. Anyway, I think some air must have got trapped up there, because during the afternoon when I was in my bosses office I let off the loudest, longest fanny fart imaginable. We both tried to ignore it and continue talking, but it was excruciating. Never again!

Sapphireday Mon 20-May-13 19:40:43

On a more serious note, I had a call from my little brother yesterday who very nervously told me his wife was pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for them, I just wish they had waited a couple of weeks. They've only had their first midwife appointment, and not the three month scan and all I can think about is that I had my midwife appointment and thought everything was going well, then started miscarrying the day before my scan. Bad memories, and I really hope they don't have to go through the same and untell people like we did.

Emki Mon 20-May-13 19:47:04

Grat! now dh tells me he is off to Ireland at 5.30 am . Not back till late Wednesday .... Can I possiblywake him and me up early enough to dtd!!!! Not very fun ... Might have to leave it .... Is it worth doing it again tonight .... Then I'm on for 2WW agghhhh - not much hope for this month ...

Emki Mon 20-May-13 19:49:49

Cross post with sapphire - it's so difficult and so annoying that we all know the other side of when things go wrong - I'm sure all will be fine for them and you are happy for them but also there is a constant remember of what we are all missing xxxxx

Emki Mon 20-May-13 19:51:01

I mean reminder .... Not remember! Lunchtime dtd - can't write - cant speak ... Ill just continue cooking stir fry for dh cxx

BakingBunty Mon 20-May-13 20:15:44

Hello all
I've been lurking for a while since having a mc at six weeks coming up for a month ago. I've taken such a lot of comfort from you even though I haven't contributed as yet, so thank you!
My mc was a c-sec scar ectopic, which means the embryo had tried to implant in the scar from my emcs with DS... which I had never heard of before it happened. Apparently very rare but that doesn't make me feel much better! But hormone levels were very low when tested when I started bleeding, so maybe it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
So I'm on the WTF cycle now, waiting for AF. Never been so keen for her to arrive!
Lots of positive vibes to all.

Emki Mon 20-May-13 20:44:57

Hello bakingbunty welcome and sorry you find yourself here - hope you are doing ok x

BakingBunty Mon 20-May-13 20:58:59

Thank you Emki for the lovely welcome. I am doing better than I thought I would though good days and bad. Feeling glad that I finally plucked up the courage to post! And loving the sound of lunchtime dtd and fanny farts... You sound like my kind of people smile

Emki Mon 20-May-13 21:18:41

Well dh said he's up for dtd at 4.30 am before he goes ... Eek!!!! Not sure this will actually happen! Will report back tomorrow xxxx

GuffSmuggler Mon 20-May-13 21:30:13

Oh my word, 4.30am!? Are you crazy!?!?! TTC really does send you bananas doesn't it! I will be mightily impressed if you manage it.

Welcome baking sounds like you have been very unlucky, hopefully you won't be here long before a BFP.

BirdsDoIt Mon 20-May-13 22:32:55

Hello ladies, sorry I haven't checked in for a while but hope you're all doing ok. I've had one of those days when you feel irrationally angry most of the time at most people. Especially pregnant people (who currently seem to be 50% of people i see). Perhaps AF is on her way - which would be good news - I'm now 6 and a half weeks post erpc and no sign otherwise...

sapphire, I laughed so loudly at your fanny fart story!! Brilliant!!! Don't think it got the acclaim it deserved. Has anyone had that happen to them during yoga?? It has to me. Soooo embarrassing.

emki congratulations on truly dedicated DTD. Top marks.

My happy Sunday thing - only a day late - is that we're going in holiday on Saturday! Only to Normandy but still, I will not be at work smile

Have got fertility friend app and am now a world expert on cervical mucus types and furtling techniques (they have a tutorial with instructions and everything!) Now, will temperature charting and cm tracking turn me into -even more of an a crazy ttc obsessed lady? Or will it make me feel like I'm more in control and diminish the uncertainty around wtf my body might be doing? What do people think?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 20-May-13 22:40:48

Fertility friend app you say? <<hmm>>
I've been planning my long awaited trip to Shetland for next year. As soon as we get back from the Lake District this year, I'm going to start paying for it, bit by bit. Considering its in the uk, it's really expensive! grin I am Soooo excited!

Rockchick1984 Mon 20-May-13 23:51:47

Sapphire that fanny fart story is brilliant - did your boss realise what it was or presume it was a normal fart? Not sure which would be worse though!!

Alice I'll try and be good and not POAS until fri 31st although not sure if I will hold out that long - that will be exactly 28 days since last AF - if I've not come on again by then of course! Not convinced I can wait that long but you never know. When are you testing?

Birds try the temping etc and see - I think different people react differently to how obsessive you become. If you go OTT I'm sure we will all subtly point it out to you smile

Emki Tue 21-May-13 06:40:59

Morning - yes ttc definitely does send you crazy! We dtd - he's gone off to Ireland and I'm absolutely shattered!!!! Very early, undisturbed night tonight

I don't remember being this crazy after first mc .... Hope everyone ok and has a good day today xxxxxxx

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Tue 21-May-13 08:22:48

Respect Emki <<high fives>>

Birds I have had the RAGE lately too. Also hoping that it is a sign of AF being on her way, although I am only on CD25 of my WTF cycle. And given that my previous cycles were somewhat erratic, I am hoping that I won't be waiting too long.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Tue 21-May-13 08:40:38

Fod, realised I haven't seen you in a bit and last time you posted things were really tough. Just wanted to say the posifrickintivity/ Laura Ashley thread is thinking of you. Xx

Also hats off to Emki for dedication!

Emki Tue 21-May-13 11:23:29

I only do yoga now at home to a DVD on my own! Since dd there have been many ff when doing yoga sooooo embarrassing!!!!!!

Birds and ddmrsfinch I posted on here a few weeks ago saying that I was in the foulest mood and kept crying - low and behold AF arrived - the first one after erpc was savage for me - maybe explain why you are feeling low .... Or it's simply because you've lost and hate the situation you are in - that is my general mood ATT!

Thanks for congrats - guess now its the 2WW!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 21-May-13 11:31:03

GAH! Talking of the RAGE...
I'm out with my Mother today. If she mentions the FUCKING MENOPAUSE one more time I might have to get stabby! "We'll you are getting on a bit"... "Are you going to be one of those people who hit the menopause and its the end of the world"... "You are so touchy"...
I've just lost the plot and told her "NO, but I am ONLY 38 and trying to have a baby, so I would prefer it if you didn't keep on about it!" sad angry

Emki Tue 21-May-13 11:38:57

Oh saggy how insensitive of your mum!!!! What can you do to let out your rage? Do you have any walls that need knocking down??? Or maybe just sit and do some deep breathing.... I've had people say it to me - im 38 too - some people get menopause early / maybe you were only meant to have ds ..... Hummm grrrrr - why can't people just not say anything!!

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 21-May-13 11:45:50

I'm really laughing out loud on all the talks about ff. Really emki didn't know yoga can bring on bouts of ff!

Saggy I can't believe your mum is so insensitive sad. I'm 38 too. When I had my second mc, the thought I'd no longer be a 38yo mum made me really sad. (It was due around my bday). I'm sure we are all well aware of that and don't need people reminding. It's the same with that Kate Garraway woman. It's so insensitive and condescending.

Emki Tue 21-May-13 12:00:16

OLTT it's terrible and I'm sad I can't practice yoga in public! I did try wearing a tampon once .... blush sorry if tmi xxx

Emki Tue 21-May-13 12:10:47

What did Kate Garraway say?

Emki Tue 21-May-13 13:13:42

Googled and found out .... Does she not realise its not so simple!!! Hope I haven't embarrassed myself too much re- yoga ... blush - xx

BirdsDoIt Tue 21-May-13 13:30:49

No no emki I'm with you on the yoga...embarrassing isn't it.

Glad to hear I'm not alone with the RAGE. Not helped by the fact it should have been 20 week scan around now. Must stop thinking about things like that. saggy your mum sounds like she's being impossible - poor you. My parents came to stay this weekend and mum kept telling me how I should relax a bit more (NOT in my nature, or hers), that i was too tired (yes, from running round trying to cater for you lot) and at one point said 'is your eye a bit bloodshot?...oh yes it is isn't it' (sounding quite pleased she'd noticed that). Well thanks mum, now I feel even better. If I felt like punching her, then I can't imagine the rage levels you must be experiencing saggy!

In happier news, DH was surprisingly enthusiastic about the idea of temping (though he is a scientist so I guess I shouldn't be surprised be liked the idea of collecting data). He did start looking a bit iffy when I shared my newfound knowledge on cervical mucus though, hee hee! Off to purchase a thermometer now - if I can find one in boots...

OneLittleToddleTerror Tue 21-May-13 13:58:31

birds I got my BBT thermometer from ebay.

RainbowConnections Tue 21-May-13 16:03:01

You have my sympathy Saggy. Lovely as they can be, no one can quite get to you like your mum.

My Mum's top quote recently, "its amazing you're not skinny with all the running around you do". I hadn't mentioned my weight - and was actually feeling OK about my size having lost over a stone since MC.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Tue 21-May-13 16:06:41

Its just soo annoying! When I was accidentally PG and MC everyone was amazing. So supportive, just lovely. Announce that you are actually trying, and they look at me like Im insane! I suppose it just shows what they really feel! sad

Floweroct Tue 21-May-13 16:53:55

Well done emki I did a return home for lunch last week! Glad i didn't read your story first sapphire!

I'm feeling quite positive at the moment even though I'm in 2ww not even sure how many dpos I am but should probably not test til early next week. I'm coming up to the time when I should have been going on maternity leave so not sure what ill be like for the next month or so but once edd has passed hoping it will be ok! Or even have my bfp before then.

Emki Tue 21-May-13 17:41:05

Good for you floweroct we need all the positive vibes we can get - I'm feeling quite good too even though I'm at start of 2ww - also feel lucky that I'm off to France for a few days next week so that will keep me busy and not too anxious - am I? Aren't I? Can't be, could be??

After second mc I've told people we're taking a break from ttc as couldn't take the pressure of people waiting/ asking - even though I know they just mean well - I've said it's been too much and we just need to rest - this is why all of you are all so important as I have no one else to share embarrassing information with!!! Hee hee grin

katatonic Tue 21-May-13 17:43:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Emki Tue 21-May-13 17:45:09

birds you made me giggle when you said you'd been sharing info of ewcm with dh - can just imagine the look on his face confused and shock

Emki Tue 21-May-13 18:55:32

I've tried acupuncture but not for ttc - but will next month ... She said she would help - I really like it as its so relaxing and calms me down x

Sal1977 Tue 21-May-13 20:52:25

Nearing the end of the 2ww here, although I think AF is on her way as I can feel that crampy 'wet' feeling (sorry tmi!) and keep having to check whether I've come on or not!

Oh well, if its a BFN, it means I can get rat arsed at my hen do and wedding!! Every cloud and all that eh? Xxx

OneLittleToddle - Ahh, that's nice having a cycle buddy. We can drive ourselves insane compare notes together. smile

So I'm still 'trying to stay positive' - I have started a healthy eating plan, and some exercise to try and lose a few lbs. Half a stone has crept on, I am blaming it on comfort eating. Hoping if I lose a few lbs I might feel better in myself.

Wondering what else I can try this month. Will be my second month of using the fertility monitor, got enough sticks to last this month, cheap opk's, temping...pondering whether to order some 'pre-seed' as have ran out of sperm friendly lube. Anybody reccommend it? Or Conceive plus?


Lieslvontrapp Wed 22-May-13 07:24:27

sapphire & emki your ff stories made me chuckle yesterday. Very impressed with your dtd efforts emki you deserve a bfp after that.

sal so how long until your wedding now?

Well to continue the positivity vibes I've been feeling much better this cycle (2nd after erpc) and I think using the cbfm has helped. And this morning I got my first peak! I don't think I ovulated during cycle 0 and 1 so feel like my body is back on track. As today is cd20 I have ovulated before I expected as my app was telling me with a 38 day cycle I'd ovulate on cd25. So pleased we've been dtd since getting the highs on the cbfm and not following the app. This must mean in on for a shorter cycle that 38 days?

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 22-May-13 08:59:22

overanxious I'm using concieve plus. But I think it's not so different from preseed isn't it? I've also started the gym for about a month and have lost 1kg. I'm definitely feeling fitter. This will be my first cycle using the CBFM. I'm already feeling more positive looking at the fertility meter. liesl I'm looking forward to my first peak! But I guess I should be prepared for the no ovulation WTF cycles. My AF is definitely a bit off atm. I'm already down to light flow on day 3.

Lieslvontrapp Wed 22-May-13 09:13:49

OLTT good luck with the cbfm. I found after 2 wtf cycles I was getting quite down and using the cbfm really helped me feel better by just having more of a clue of where my body was at. Cheapie opks never worked for me and didnt fancy temping. Thought I didn't get much cm but did notice some yesterday and Monday. Really hope you get your peak and don't worry about your af being light.

OneLittleToddleTerror Wed 22-May-13 09:17:42

liesl I had no luck with cheapie OPKs either. I never got the two equal lines. That's why I'm hoping the CBFM will help. I'm already temping. As for CM, I have to 'collect' it inside to test, if it's not TMI. I think the suggestion of harvesting is from the fertility friend app tutorial.

Rockchick1984 Wed 22-May-13 10:11:58

Overanxious we had been TTC for 4 months with no success. Month 5 we used conceive plus and I got pregnant (although later miscarried). Not using it this cycle but if I'm not pregnant this month then I'll start using it again after next AF.

BirdsDoIt Wed 22-May-13 10:30:21

Woo hoo!! AF has arrived! I've never been so glad to see her. (The rage was definitely PMT induced.)

Lieslvontrapp Wed 22-May-13 10:50:04

Great news Birdsdoit! Onwards and upwards!

GuffSmuggler Wed 22-May-13 13:23:10

Urgh I hate the 2ww window, feeling really negative that I'm no PG but don't want to POAS as all hope will be gone then and we have to start the TTC cycle all over again. Am going to try and hold out until next week (AF due Sun/Mon) but doubt I'll be able to.

Good news birds I felt so relieved when AF came as you feel like your body is getting back to normal!

BirdsDoIt Wed 22-May-13 13:45:02

I even did a little dance in the loo, I was that happy!! It does feel like maybe things can get back to normal now. And if I start temping etc then I'll have more idea what my body is doing. Feeling quite positive about things today. It also means I can eat smelly cheese and drink wine to my heart's content next week in France smile

guffsmuggler the 2ww is rubbish! Most of the time I feel like I'm waiting for something...AF...ovulation...POAS...actually it's more like the 4ww isn't it!

BakingBunty Wed 22-May-13 14:34:01

Great news birds! I am due AF tomorrow if I'm right in thinking I ovulated a couple of weeks ago (who knows, it's the WTF cycle!).

overanxious, preseed worked for us.

Sal1977 Wed 22-May-13 15:27:35

We tried for 5 months before getting pg on month 6 using preseed and eating pineapple at 1-5dpo!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 22-May-13 19:54:19

I am fairly certain some conceive plus would be useful. CM has been fairly scant recently! I just need to think of a way of having it in the house and using it without DP having a stroke! #justseeingwhathappens
yeah right

alicebear Wed 22-May-13 20:22:12

Great news birds must be the only time that we feel so happy to see AF.
Sal what is the pineapple post ov meant to do? Enjoy your hen do.
Rock I think poas won't be until 9 June at the earliest. We're away just before so going to try to not take any hpt with me... I have never had a BFP before 14dpo even though I usually have a short 9/10 day luteal phase.

If cycle 1 is anything like normal should be oving over the weekend ish. So better think about dtd.

Anyone poas this Fri?

Sal1977 Wed 22-May-13 21:29:14

Alice its the bromeline in the pineapple core (the stuff that makes your tongue tingle) helps with implantation apparently...worked for us last time! X

BakingBunty Wed 22-May-13 21:35:45

saggy preseed and similar is possibly the most unarousing stuff ever.... I didn't tell DH I'd got it, so he wondered what on earth was going on when things were rather, erm, fluid. It certainly creates one hell of a wet patch!?

I ordered mine from amazon and stupidly put my work address down for the delivery as I didn't fancy picking the package up from elderly neighbours. As soon as I'd hit the confirm button I had an awful premonition of the young blokes in the work post room opening it and telling everyone blush. Luckily unfounded which is a good job as the box features a godawful picture of a rrrrromantic looking couple, some flowers and the words VAGINAL LUBRICANT in massive letters...

alicebear Wed 22-May-13 22:09:14

Sal do you have to eat the core then for it to work? I think you have to eat the core (of about 7 pineapples?) to try and bring on labour if you're overdue. I ate a whole pineapple minus the core but my DD was still 18 days late! Maybe it's the same ingredient that helps both at the very start & very end?!

alicebear Wed 22-May-13 22:15:39

Been googling the pineapple theory - think I'll give it a try! Thanks Sal

Sal1977 Wed 22-May-13 22:41:23

I cut a whole pineapple into 5 slices (inc core) and are a slice a day after ovulation. Xx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Wed 22-May-13 23:38:05

Feeling really crap tonight. Post AF hormone crash? Ive got gradually more low and tearful as the day has gone on. sad

Emki Thu 23-May-13 07:38:06

Oh saggy it's such a horrible time - how did you sleep? How are you this morning? The sun is finally out here if it is with you might help ish... I'm now on 2 Ww and dressing we didn't do enough - dh went away so was slightly tricky - did consider giving his identical twin brother a call ... Probably wouldn't go down well - blimey ttc has truly made me flip!!!

Sending you lots of hugs saggy.

Will get preseed and tonnes of pineapple for next month - gotta have a plan!!! Xxxxx

Sal1977 Thu 23-May-13 08:31:37

I'm feeling sorry for myself as well today.

Temp took a nosedive this morning meaning AF will. Arrive in the next 24 hours and just in time for what should have been my 20 week mark.

I'm still carrying the extra 10lbs and getting married in 3 weeks so will be looking like a fat lump in my photos. Most of my mates have pulled out of my hen do, so I now alternate between feeling REALLY sorry for myself and having the RRRAAAGGGEEEE...!!!!! Grrrrr....

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 23-May-13 08:31:39

I slept ok but was doing the weird dream thing again! I think I'm just having a hormone dip, crossed with a bit of a tummy virus and my Mums comments the other day. I'm just really low and stressing that it isn't going to happen for me. sad it's ironic because a couple of days ago I was thinking to myself that I felt normal again and I hadn't had a low spell for aaages, and how I ought to tell the newbies that there is light at the end of the miserable tunnel! confused

MTBMummy Thu 23-May-13 08:32:57

Morning all, mind if I jump on and join you all. Had an MC last week, confirmed on Monday, and well, feeling I need to get back in the saddle, now that I'm physically feeling a lot better, and emotionally more stable.

I'm just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on how long to wait after an MC before you try again, do I need to wait for AF? I read so many mixed views on line, that I wanted to ask those of you that had been through it themselves.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 23-May-13 08:41:33

Oh Sal come and join the pity party! <<passes squashed party hat and blower thingy with a hole in it>>

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 23-May-13 08:46:57

MTB sorry you are here, and welcome. It doesn't make a difference officially, there is no more risk of further MC if you start straight away. You get advised to wait but it's just so that you know when AF was for dating purposes. If you feel up to it, go for it!

alicebear Thu 23-May-13 08:52:08

saggy & sal sorry to hear you're both down. It's such a chappy time. Sure you'll still be a gorgeous bride sal

mtb think the only reason Drs advise waiting for 1st AF is for dating but scans are pretty accurate really. If you both feel ready to try again it's probably fine. Sorry to see you here hope you're doing ok.

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 23-May-13 09:01:39

sal you'll look great in your wedding photo. Don't think about how you'll look fat. Enjoy your big day.

saggy I know how you feel about alternating between normal and feeling very down. One moment I'll be thinking about having a new baby and feeling very positive about it. Another moment, I'll feel all sad about it never going to happen.

MTB I'm so sorry you are here. You can start trying as soon as you feel you are ready. I've asked the doctor in A&E and also my midwife after my first MC. The dating won't be a problem because I got another bfp in cycle 0 after my first MC, and the midwife just dated me from the MC. Google isn't the best doctor around grin

Misspositivity Thu 23-May-13 12:16:16

mtb welcome an sorry for your loss. No medical reason to wait - just for dating as ovulation can be unpredictable to first cycle - stress of size of baby heart beat not detectable and then rescanning and all the worry and waiting after you have Already had a horrible experience. That's why some tell you to wait a cycle.

Well folks started spotting at 10dpo and af arrived whilst drinking a glass of proscecco in covent garden ob my tomantic night away!!! Took the sadness out of it but glad af came back just slightly outside normal 28 day cycle DP suggests egg meets sperm plan this month so have anther week of rest and then all systems go. Has anyone else given it shot.

emki. Identical twin brother - sure who would know lol.

saggy I alternate between being positive and then thinking if I keep going there might be something wrong with baby and it's my fault for tempting fate or that I won't have another child and just accept it and not to put myself and my family through this.

Bakingtins Thu 23-May-13 12:17:36

Can someone put a "reserved" sign on my seat for a while? 7+ wk scan shows no heartbeat and fetus too small, so MC 4 is on the way. I'm not sure I can bear to try again, but keep my seat warm for a bit whilst we think about it?

Emki Thu 23-May-13 12:23:16

tins I feel physically sick - I want to cry! I was just thinking of you this morning - your seat is reserved but hoping for a miracle /blessing / bestest of luck for you xxxxx

Misspositivity Thu 23-May-13 12:28:11

bAkingtins. I am so sorry to hear this - tears in my eyes. It's so tough.
Are you sure dates are right? Big hugs to you.

Emki Thu 23-May-13 12:31:56

missp would also involve getting twin brother very drunk as he's gay .... But have to seriously consider if dh keeps going away during fertile window .....

OneLittleToddleTerror Thu 23-May-13 13:11:06

bakingtins I'm so so sorry to hear this. Have they referred you for tests to see if there's anything wrong?

alicebear Thu 23-May-13 13:18:29

So so sorry bakingtins can't imagine how you must be feeling.

GuffSmuggler Thu 23-May-13 13:24:35

Oh bakingtins I'm so so sorry, it is just totally shit sad You don't deserve this, it's so unfair.

We're here even if you just want to rant, you don't have to think about next steps yet xxx

BirdsDoIt Thu 23-May-13 13:45:50

Oh tins I'm so sorry. You poor poor thing. I really really hope it's not what you're fearing - are they doing another scan in a week's time to check if a hb has appeared by then? God it's so tough. Big hugs to you and your DP.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 23-May-13 14:06:28

Oh BakingTins. sad I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending you all my love and a huge fat hug!

katatonic Thu 23-May-13 14:15:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Thu 23-May-13 14:37:00

oh tins I'm so so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I really hope it all ends up being ok. Wishing you loads of love and hugs. xxxx

Bakingtins Thu 23-May-13 16:12:15

There's not a chance it's ok, I should have been 7+4 so 10 days beyond where they expect a heartbeat, and there's no doubt about my dates, they are just covering their behinds asking me to wait for another scan. Don't waste your posifrickingtivity holding out any hope for me, you need all you can get for some more good news on here. Don't want to hijack the thread, just explaining where I've disappeared to.

Just had a little lurk and saw your news tins. I'm so do sorry, heartbreaking. Sending you a big hug. You don't need to decide anything, just look after yourself and be looked after too. thanks

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Thu 23-May-13 16:30:15

Tins, there are no words. Just sorry. sad Nobody deserves this. flowers

Lieslvontrapp Thu 23-May-13 18:03:22

So sorry Tins that really is terrible news. We're here for you. That's the least we can do after all the support you've given to people on here.

tins weren't you due some more testing next month and then you got pg which put a hold on things? Is there more investigating they can do as to why it's gone wrong? Don't worry about answering if you don't want to be thinking about all this at the moment x

JBrd Thu 23-May-13 18:53:37

Oh, Bakingtins, I'm so so sorry. Life is just so unfair, so sorry that you have to go through this again.
Please look after yourself, hope that you get lots of RL support. Thinking of you and sending hugs x

Bakingtins Thu 23-May-13 20:06:20

Hi Thunder No - I was just waiting for the follow up appointment, but I've had all my results back and there is nothing wrong with me. I think we'll probably cancel or at least postpone the appointment, there doesn't seem to be any point. We had a chat about it today and the consultant thinks I am "superfertile" that's a fucking joke and my uterus accepts embryos that are flawed and should never get as far as implanting. She's still saying she thinks with the right embryo I can carry to term, but I just don't feel like I can face it. How many times can you go through this shit before you conclude it just isn't meant to be?

Floweroct Thu 23-May-13 20:17:09

Oh tins I'm so sorry to hear that, sending big hugs x

CamomileHoneyVanilla Thu 23-May-13 21:32:18

Sorry hon, just clutching at straws I think because its so awful. Even told DH tonight and he was all "no... not tins, that's terrible". Know that you're in everyone's thoughts and we're all here for you. Really heartbroken for you. I just wish it was different for you and all of us. Xxxx

Sorry to hear about your bad news bakingtins xx sad

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Thu 23-May-13 21:52:48

So, so sorry tins Nobody deserves such heartache. You poor thing. Be kind to yourself x

Rockchick1984 Thu 23-May-13 23:18:22

I'm so sorry Tins - whatever you decide in the future I know the ladies here will support you, don't make any decisions yet thanks

BakingBunty Thu 23-May-13 23:38:52

Am thinking of you, name buddy. I hope that you manage some sleep and are being gentle with yourself. An utterly shit thing to happen and I wish it hadn't.

Ariel21 Fri 24-May-13 08:04:21

bakingtins I'm so sorry to hear your news. Take care of yourself, we are all thinking of you.

MTBMummy Fri 24-May-13 08:22:48

Tins I'm so sorry, there really are no words x

willitbe Fri 24-May-13 08:31:19

Bakingtins - so sorry that you are going through this again. I don't think we have met on mn before, but wanted to say I understand how you are feeling. Having had 11 miscarriages since my last ds, it is hard to be told that you have an Un-fussy uterus (whatever the heck that really means). I found it was not hopeful getting that "diagnosis" as they can't "treat" it. Although to be fair I did not get to try prednisolone with any of the pregnancies as it seemed to help my uterus become more fussy. Possibly????

I would highly recommend grief concealing though. I found it very helpful in dealing with my emotions of subsequent pregnancies and miscarriages. Do be kind to yourself over the next few days.

Sorry to everyone else for temporarily crashing this thread.

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 24-May-13 09:16:52

willitbe your post is touching. You don't have to say sorry for it. Just reading it brings tears to my eyes.

GuffSmuggler Fri 24-May-13 09:45:43

Morning everyone,

Is anyone POAS today? I'm dying to but am too scared, I'm going to be a mess if it's a BFN so don't want to face it yet. Urgh.

Thinking of you today tins x

OneLittleToddleTerror Fri 24-May-13 10:09:32

guff I'll start POOPKs tomorrow. Does it count? grin

Rockchick1984 Fri 24-May-13 10:10:15

I POAS this morning Guff but BFN sad I had what looked like EWCM a day or so after AF which would mean I was now 14 DPO however I'm now wondering if it was just my body having a bit of a clearout (it was first AF post-miscarriage) so if I ov'd at my normal time then it's far too early to test, I'm only about 5DPO! Anyone experienced similar?

Hope you're holding up ok Tins

Emki Fri 24-May-13 11:37:18

Thinking of you tins constantly xxxx obviously depends on where you live bit there is a great clinic at st Mary's hospital in Paddington London run by prof regan - specialist clinic for recurrent miscarriage - my sister went there after she had 3 mc at 7-8 weeks - they found her blood got too thick when pregnant so she took aspirin ... Anyway they investigate lots if things .... I'm sure what I'm saying is not useful or what you want to hear ... Just so you know you have a lot of support here xxxx

GuffSmuggler Fri 24-May-13 14:01:20

rock I'm the same, was first AF after ERPC and it seemed a random cycle, DTD lots around what I thought was OV but then started getting more EWCM later on which means we might have missed the window, so I don't know what's going on. Going to wait it out a bit longer.

onelittle I'll be joining you with the OPKs soon if this cycle doesn't work out.

We really need some BFPs around here!!!

MrsExcited Fri 24-May-13 17:07:31

Thinking of you Tins.

Looks like the posifrickingtivity is struggling at the moment that's certainly how i feel atm.

Good luck to anyone who does have good news and is too scared to share as i know some don't even want to talk on here!

Will continue to wait (not so paintently) for my first Af 9 weeks since ERPC, have now booked docs appointment, but don't know if there is anything they can do?

Misspositivity Fri 24-May-13 18:12:00

I think June is going the be a big month for BFP's on this thread. How is that for "posifrickingtivity"

Lieslvontrapp Fri 24-May-13 18:50:28

Mrsexcited I know how you feel waiting for first af. I had to wait 10 weeks. Went to gp day before it arrived and they just said to wait another month. Hopefully it comes before your gp appointment.

Misspositivity hope you're right about the June bfps. I'm just starting the 2 wk wait so will poas 8th June.

So no bfps today?

Misspositivity Fri 24-May-13 18:50:35

Mrsexcited hope you find your af soon. Be nice to get some reassurance from your gp if nothing else, I am sure everything will click back soon probably just your body saying it needs a wee rest.

Misspositivity Fri 24-May-13 18:56:48

vontrapp fingers crossed for your tww. We are embarking on smep next Thursday. Will need energy drinks and pasta. Poas 21st June.

katatonic Fri 24-May-13 20:14:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sal1977 Fri 24-May-13 20:43:26

Tins - that's shit lovely. Not really anything else I can say. Booze and nice food, PJs and hugs from your OH is definitely what I prescribe for you.

AF arrived here today right on schedule unfortunately. Mrs Excited - can't believe you're still waiting! I'd definitely be asking for a go on Dildo-cam if it was me, see if they can see what's going on!

On a more upbeat note, what's everyone planning for the bank holiday? Xxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 24-May-13 21:01:06

No BFPs? sad Come on now people...
All together now...
aaand fertilise...

Floweroct Sat 25-May-13 09:06:10

Ah rubbish no Friday bfps!

Anyone got any nice plans for the weekend? Hoping we might go to the beach at some point. Need to do something that takes my mind off poas! I shouldn't really until at least Monday (or Friday if I stick to the rules!) but I feel like af might be on her way sad

Passing round some posifrickintivity!!

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sat 25-May-13 09:28:22

I got a BFN yesterday at 9 dpo . Not feeling hopeful that that is going to change next week though. I'm sticking to the rules religiously, otherwise I'd be poas every 5mins!

Positive stuff this week: house hunting. DH is away so an doing an initial screen of potentials to whittle down for next weekend. Sitting outside lovely little cottage now waiting for the late estate agent. I don't think it's for us though.

grin saggy that's made me chuckle.

Oo cam house hunting is great! Are you in a position to buy?

Nice one about the holiday kat

mrsexcited I know there is no logic to this, but my first af came after a good dtd session....worth a try?!

I'm up for posifrickintivity for June bfp. I'm going cold turkey from the opks this month and just going to dtd as much as we can. Af expected not going to arrive 17th June.

RainbowConnections Sat 25-May-13 11:58:39

I've crossed over to the less sane side of TTC. Yesterday I POAS 5 days post ovulation. Spent the week being cool and calm, then woke up yesterday convinced I could defy the HPT powers.

Shame there were no Friday BFPs but good to see some posifrickintivity. Roll on June...

We're off to seaside tomorrow to buy a kiddies print to hang in new conservatory. We've got one that we bought at same gallery the day of 20 week scan for DS so we're going to get another to remember the baby we would have been having. My DH (less sentimental) is hoping we'll squeeze in Star Trek movie at cinema too!

Hope you have a great holiday Katatonic.

Hope you all have lovely weekends.

Misspositivity Sat 25-May-13 13:15:25

rainbow that's a lovely thing to do. Hope you have good day

GuffSmuggler Sat 25-May-13 19:21:57

I've felt really tired and a bit sicky today. I'm either getting ill, AF is coming or... could it be.

GAH don't know how much longer I can withhold POAS. AF due tomorrow.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. Curry being delivered here shortly nom nom nom x

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 25-May-13 19:44:37

Guff I really think you should POAS today or tomorrow. That counts as late Friday offerings! Wait until Monday and then you are testing early for next week and will be eligible for fish slapping! grin

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sat 25-May-13 20:02:33

Hope your AF arrives soon, MrsE. Did you ever get a negative HPT after your miscarriage? Not sure what the doctor will suggest in such a case. Perhaps a scan to check all is okay. Fingers crossed for you.

My AF is still not here despite much ANGER last week. But it is still only CD30 on WTF cycle so I am trying not and failing to obsess.

Camomile, enjoy your house hunting. I LOVE house hunting, but am currently in a forever or stay-for-a-long-time-as-the-schools-are-great home, so I must live vicariously through you.

Rainbow, such a lovely idea about the picture. I have still not decided what to do to remember our baby. I'm thinking of maybe making a rainbow cake to mark a 'birthday' so then DC1 and DC2 can get some enjoyment out of a sad day. And maybe make it into something a bit special. But would that be miscarriage day, or due day? And if it was due day, would it be date from LMP or date that I thought was right? Questions, questions... I have hung a windchime in the apple tree outside. We can hear it from our bedroom window and it makes me think of the baby (as if I need a reminder...). Did anyone else do anything to remember their loss?

Enjoy your hols, Katatonic

Hoping for you, Guff

And still remembering you tins and wishing you strength x

BakingBunty Sat 25-May-13 21:03:30

Dearlydepartedmrsfinch, I am also on day 30 of the WTF cycle, and also driving myself demented. We have dtd precisely once since MC, so it's extremely unlikely that I'm pregnant... But of course I can't help hoping. Too nervous to POAS as would be gutted if it was a BFN and terrified if it was a BFP. Yep, I really need a slap!

We have decided to remember our baby by sponsoring a child through Plan. I think it's going to give me a lot of comfort.

Off on a night away tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. Though won't be terribly romantic as we will have a small ginger room mate in the form of DS grin.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sat 25-May-13 22:13:15

Plan is a good idea, Bunty. I have no hope of BFP this cycle as DH and I are currently at a bit of a stalemate over TTC. He wants to wait. I don't. It's crap. So, I am taking off the pressure completely until the first AF is out of the way before stating my case seducing him.

Your small ginger room mate made me chuckle grin

BakingBunty Sun 26-May-13 08:34:01

Um, late Friday offering here... BFP!!

I am beyond shocked. Over the moon, a bit terrified, really sorry for jumping the queue, and shocked.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch, I am so sorry about your stalemate and am keeping everything crossed for you at your DH just needs a bit of time (a very little bit!)

Sapphireday Sun 26-May-13 09:02:20

Congratulations Bakingbunty! It's about time we had some good news on this thread.

Floweroct Sun 26-May-13 09:54:37

Congrats bunty!

Bfn here this morning just so rubbish!!

Misspositivity Sun 26-May-13 10:34:26

bakingbunty. Congrats on your BFP. Great news

dearlydeparted Hope your stalemate ends soon. DP sounds like he just needs some time.

flowerot June is the big month for BFP on this thread so keep positive.

GuffSmuggler Sun 26-May-13 10:41:23

Yay!! Congrats bakingbunty! Just what this thread needed a good BFP grin

Congrats Baking grin

I too have a BFP although its not looking good...I only came off my period yesterday sad Ive posted a thread about it. Have any of you ladies experienced this?


Misspositivity Sun 26-May-13 10:56:30

overanxious just had a look at other thread. I would give the gp a call and get some guidance. Probably a chemical - I do know an obs consultants who cancelled her own scan because she had such a heavy bleed early on that pregnancy is now walking about. Best to get some bloods done and see what's happening. Good luck to you.

CamomileHoneyVanilla Sun 26-May-13 13:07:43

Afternoon folks.

Congratulations Bunty - fab news. And it does give the thread a much-needed boost to hear.

Overanxious - no advice to give at all but hope you get things sorted soon.

DDMF - I also love house hunting. We're not really quite ready to buy yet as ours isn't even on the market and we've stuff to do to it before we could put it on. Plus we both need to get jobs where we're relocating to so its kind of a medium-term plan (we're moving back 'home' so we're near our parents for if when we actually manage to start a family). I'm kind of dreading the whole thing to be honest - but at least nosing around other people's homes is always fun! I saw one yesterday we probably would be happy buying, and it was within our price range, so that was fairly positive so early on. I find being a grown up a bit of a headache still despite being 31.

Sorry about the BFN Floweroct*. How many dpo are you?

Rainbow you are not alone on the less sane side. I'm right there with you. Am symptom spotting like a crazy lady. Interpreting everything as 'something'; I even had the thought at approx 4:30pm on Friday off 'ooooo, I'm tired and craving chocolate, could it be...' before realising thats just me every Friday. Also had a random 'I just really want a baby' sob in the car yesterday. Totally came out of nowhere in an otherwise nice day so I fear it is a sign of impending AF. Is anyone else at their most susceptible to a proper full-on sob while driving?

Also thinking of you tins. Hope you're being looked after. xxx

alicebear Sun 26-May-13 13:55:39

Congratulations bakingbunty really fab news.
Guff are you going to poas? Fingers crossed for a second BFP.
Hope you're coping bakingtins it must still feel very raw.
Hope everyone enjoying the bank hol.
I'm cd 15 & got +ve opk today so soon to start the dreaded 2ww. Have got quite a lot of nice things going on so hopefully it will go fast & maybe I can add an extra BFP to the June tally...

BakingBunty Sun 26-May-13 17:16:12

Thanks all for the congrats. Hasn't really sunk in yet and I am terrified. But very happy and grateful, and wishing you all BFPs very soon.

DearlyDepartedMrsFinch Sun 26-May-13 20:34:38

Wow, bunty grin

Congrats bunty!

Emki Sun 26-May-13 20:44:22

Congrats bunty fab news smile

Been away a bit been driving over to France - arrived this afternoon - lovely to get away but dd is not well so taking her to doctor tomorrow

Anyway question for you all - obviously I was dtd when OV this month - I'm also as fat as a cat after 2 mc and comfort eating .... I want to go for a run while I'm in the countryside .... Haven't run for ages ... Would running for a 20 mins a day affect possibility of pregnancy? Am I being very obsessed?

FYI ill be awaiting AF next Monday .... Anyone else POAS next Friday/weekend? Xxx

GuffSmuggler Sun 26-May-13 21:15:53

Emki I doubt running will make any difference, will prob make you feel relaxed and healthy! I don't think it's very easy to dislodge a healthy pregnancy (fingers crossed).

No AF here yet, but my cycle is probably still all over the place so don't think that means much. Going to hold out POAS as long as possible, luckily our local chemists will be shut here tomorrow so that forces me to wait at least another day. So silly I just feel so scared to find out.

Emki Sun 26-May-13 21:27:39

Thank you guff I know you are right x

Good luck to you - hope you have a good bank holiday and thanks for the advice - ill go out in the morning xxxx

Thanks for the good luck. Think I definitely need it! I'm just stuck in limbo land.

I bought CB digitals earlier as I just had to see and it came up pregnant straight away, 2-3 weeks. I was expecting 1-2 to be honest. I don't know what to think, waiting until Tues am when I can book in at Drs! I was thinking it's a chemical pregnancy but everything I've read on them refers to 'faint positive before period that disappears' cant find much on 'strongish bfp AFTER period'.

Have spent most of the day googling! sad

Sending lots of luck to everybody else.

x smile

Sal1977 Mon 27-May-13 00:06:55

I think implantation bleeding can be fairly heavy lovely, fingers crossed its something like that!

I had a chemical pg about 2 years ago and I had a digi come up as 1-2 weeks, then later the same day came up as not pg. I then started bleeding that night.

However, to look on the negative side, if you we're a couple of weeks along, the hormones may be in your system for a bit longer. I reckon only blood work will give you a definitive answer... Xxx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Mon 27-May-13 00:23:38

Over you need to do another CB in a week or so. If the numbers go down its not good. I reckon it's just implantation. I have a good feeling about you! smile

alicebear Mon 27-May-13 07:19:19

over really hope it was implantation bleeding. I once read that it can happen in up to a third of pregnancies.
guff maybe we'll have some gd news from you. I also have little resistance to testing when there are hpts in the house (I have a similar problem with chocolate [smile)

Thanks for the positivity everyone. Will keep you updated. x

BakingBunty Mon 27-May-13 07:46:48

Morning all, hope you're all looking forward to a nice bank holiday smile

guff I think that being fit and healthy when you get pregnant can only be a good thing. I ran loads before and during my pregnancy with DS, it helped keep me sane and also had the advantage of meaning I could eat more ice cream (I like it so much that I pretended it was a full on craving for 9 months grin)

over I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Hope you have a good GP? Or do you have any friends who are doctors, nurses, midwives that you could speak to?

RainbowConnections Mon 27-May-13 07:57:54

Bakingbunting congratulations! Great to see some good news. Hope you're keeping well.

Overanxious hope you get some clarity soon.

DDMF hopefully your DH just needs some time. The wind chime in the apple tree sounds lovely.

CamomileHoneyVanilla we moved to Grownupsville a couple of years ago. I still miss the days of not having to be ashamed of weeds in the garden, but being near family is lovely for DS. House-hunting is fun. Crazy symptom spotting is less fun but good to know others are a little crazy too!

I think I'd be testing every day until AF arrives if i had anymore HPTs!

Guff fingers crossed for you.

Hope its a sunny bank holiday for everyone.

RainbowConnections Mon 27-May-13 07:59:59

Sorry for misspelling BakingBunty.

Thanks Rainbow and Baking.

My GP (well GP's as I never see the same one) are okay. They were quite good about my MC and sending me for a reassurance scan etc so hopefully they will be helpful. Unfortunately no medical professionals in the family to talk to but a good couple of close people to vent to!


Misspositivity Mon 27-May-13 10:53:35

Looking for some advice. First AF after mc - I am now on day 7 and no sign of ending. Cramps have got worse. Has anyone else experienced a longer heavier first period after mc. Will this mean my cycle will be longer (ovulate later)
overanxious hope your hanging in there.
tins if your hovering hope you are being good to yourself - come and talk if you need to we have been there and happy to listen. Xxx

Emki Mon 27-May-13 11:17:03

missp my first AF after erpc lasted 6-7 days and was so heavy and crampy - usually AF lasts 4 days and is light to medium so the first AF was definitly longer and heavier - I then OV about 3 days later than usual - hope this helps x

overanxious hope you ok -I too have a good feeling about this

tins thinking of you

guff f

Emki Mon 27-May-13 11:17:47

Oops! guff I have everything crossed for you xxxx