TTC 10+ months Part 13(999 Posts)
A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.
thanks buzzy. fingers crossed for lots more BFPs on this one
Marking place. Work too manic to post and my period pains are rubbish. Mood!
Mrsden sounds like we will likely be going again at roughly the same time as your first cycle. Need another couple of paydays first though!!!
Lucky thread 13
Gin - can I ask a couple of questions? How did your clinic convince you to do natural rather than medicated fet? Did they discuss sucess rates either way? How will they monitor your ovulation to know when you are 5dpo? I am preparing to present my argument for another natural fet but I am a lone voice. I am very interested as to why medicated is superior which is what they tell me even for regular cycle girls thanks x
Lucky thread 13
Gin - can I ask a couple of questions? How did your clinic convince you to do natural rather than medicated fet? Did they discuss sucess rates either way? How will they monitor your ovulation to know when you are 5dpo? I am preparing to present my argument for another natural fet but I am a lone voice. I am very interested as to why medicated is superior which is what they tell me even for regular cycle girls thanks x
Getting myself in so I can find you all later. I will be going for first ivf cycle in April mrsden.
Sorry to rabbit for the hectic and uncomfortable day.
buzzy we hadn't really talked through some of these ethical issues to do with embryos should one of us die or be incapacitated. No one wants to think about such horrible things happening and, of course, we all want to just get pregnant without having to have an ethical debate..... I think we'll carry on discussing it over the next few months to be sure that we're happy with everything before we have actually created any embryos.
Hope doll and euro are doing ok.
Thinking of joy and sending lots of chilled out vibes to the embie to settle in for the long haul.
Glad you had a lovely weekend away sar. We went for a big hill walk which was really cold and windy but a great distraction. Getting out of town for a change of scenery is so important during this process. Staying home just encourages me to dwell on things that I cannot change....
Had our first ivf clinic appt today and felt a little bit like we've just hopped onto an nhs conveyor belt. I am so grateful to have this opportunity and to have it funded is a massive gift, but it really was a bit off putting. Poor MrM was a bit overwhelmed trying to keep up with the very fast explanation of all of the blood tests and the ivf process in general. I was ok because I've done so much research and learnt so much from all of you. The clinic was really busy and we kept having to stand around waiting for scanners and rooms to be freed up. As soon as one couple came out, the next was ushered straight in.
Had the lovely dildocam again and she spent ages trying to find my right ovary but never did. Apparently they can be difficult to find when you're on the downregging drugs as they can be quite small. Have a small cyst on the left but not big enough to worry about. No sign of hydrosalpinx. I would have
absolutely fecking lost it found it quite difficult if she had suggested that we had to go back in and remove that tube.
On a funny note, MrM said the nurse was trying to sabotage his blood pressure reading by talking about providing a sample when we come for the next appointment. They also asked us to sit in a waiting area that ended up being directly opposite the masturbatoriums . Thankfully no one came out while we were sitting there!
AMH results will be back in time for next appointment in mid March and then we'll go ahead with treatment in April.
Wow that was a long post for a Monday night! Here's to a happy week for all and I am already loving our lucky thread number 13
Here's hoping this IS a lucky 13 Fred! We got married on a 13th, so I see it as my lucky no.
Thanks for all the nice words yesterday ladies. It helps lots. Still feeling a bit meh but now I'm back at work post-flu, that's occupying me, so no time to dwell on it all.
rabbits sorry for the shitty period. I want some of mrsd's pain-free kind!
sar my clinic just kind of decided it'd be a natural FET! She said as my cycles are normal, they'd do that and I was like phew, no more injections. They didn't discuss success rates of natural vs medicated but said it'd be about 50% for my FET. But create's unique selling point is that they do things naturally/with minimal drugs. I'd have been v disappointed if they'd suggested medicated. Having said that, I will be on cyclogest after the lh surge and aspirin (I refused clexane).
To catch ovulation, I have a scan on cd 8 and the scans from then on until ov, I think. The info they have given me says there'd be another on day 10, so maybe every few days? From day 8 I also have to pee on opks twice a day until I catch the lh surge and the ET is then booked for 8 days from that day, including the day - our frostie is a day 6 one. I'm not entirely sure how the scans and pee sticks fit together, but guess they check womb lining etc at the scans. They did say they sometimes ask people to do trigger shots, but hopefully I won't need that.
Create is open all the time, so they can be really flexible with stuff like ET timing, which I think helps with natural cycle. It's also a shit load more expensive than the NHS, so I would expect scans etc for my £1k.
How does this compare with your last FET?!
Sorry that's probably boring reading for everyone else.
Hope the ladies with embryos onboard are doing ok. euro if you're on cyclogest, your symptoms will be different, so try not to worry if you can <watch me totally menkul out during the FET>
mrsd I need to ask you about the genetic tests. We've had CF, but that's it, no sperm frag etc, although I don't know that there's any point really now.
Right, need sleep. Stupid post flu knackeredness. Waves to everyone.
X post mad. Pleased the appt all went ok!
buzzy we didn't talk it through either. WE both filled out our forms according to our own conscience and the notes say that basically a lack of consent will trump a consent, so we understood that. Where we hadn't agreed on certain things, King's made us change them so they matched. That's not what the forms say, but the outcome is the same, so we went along with it.
Madness I don't think either of us had our blood pressure taken until I had mine done at EC. Mr Euro hasn't had his tested at all.
I think all clinics are a bit of a conveyor, tbh. We were one in, one out for EC and ET. It tends to be efficient for them to do al similar procedures (consulatation, scan, EC, ET) one after the other.
euro I think it was because we had finally built up a relationship with my consultant for all the endo stuff that it was a bit off putting to go in to see a other new face today. Once we have a relationship with this one I'm sure it will feel more personal. They did blood pressure, height and weight for us both as hadn't been checked since our initial consultation in 2011. Can't believe that it's been that long since our first fertility appointment!!
Madness I am sure the NHS feels quite clinical (pun not intended) but in our post wedding financial emptiness, I am really really wishing I had an NHS cycle coming up! It will be fine. To be honest I am getting the impression that the stats and protocols and drug regimes make much difference to the end results. You'll get what you get, I think. So if it's on offer for free, take it!!
Doll and Euro not even sure I said hooray for embies on the last thread. Keeping everything so tightly crossed for you both.
All this ethical chat has made me feel quite negligent. We had a quick read at our appointment and made snap decisions. No conscience here, I don't think. The only thing that went through my head as we went through them was as follows "so if I go under a bus, MrN can mourn for a bit then find a new younger replacement and happily have kids, but if HE goes under a bus, I've completely lost any chance I have of children, what with being ancient and all. Now, how would I broach that subject, and suggest we freeze some of his swimmers?" . <shallow>.
Hmm now I worry that I might seem like I'm trivialising the potentially very difficult choices to be made. I'm not at all. I guess we just felt there was quite enough to get stressed about what with the low AMH and the cost and the never getting pregnant, so we chose not to stress about this part. Head in sand, perhaps.
Rubbish catch up, but it's far too late for starting a MN post. Internet also been a bit iffy so will post now. Trying not to spend overly long on MN just now as I'm enjoying hobbling and knitting (a weird combo) and
failing trying to retain the Relaxed vibe I had when on honeymoon. Though brown spotting on CD17 doesn't help.
*don't make much difference is of course what I meant to type!
Nelly I felt quite instinctively that I knew how I wanted to answer (eg: yes to research on eggs, no to research on embryos) so I just followed my instincts. We didn't agonise over them or even given them a lot of thought. I don't think that's trivialising them. Different folks take different approaches. My friend with the IVF babies agonises over every decision. I can remember her cancelling nights out to go home and talk about mortgages for the nth time with her husband. I bet they had a huge discussion about the ethical issues. We are just not like that.
it was madnes who asked for peoples opinions on what to do etc, Barry and I have similar thoughts and opinions on most things so its not something that we are worried about at this stage, we have already discussed wills and death etc, as in my job I have seen to much ugliness when these things have not been sorted out beforehand. I don't think people really know how they feel about these things until they actually happen.
very quiet on here today...................
It was me who asked about people's opinions. We just sat down to fill out this sheaf of forms on Sunday night and they were a bit more difficult to get my head around than I had expected. We have settled on our choices and I'm okay with it.
gin hope your energy levels are coming back up to normal.
nelly I hope I didn't sound ungrateful for nhs care. The doctor said that there were three clinics going on at once so it was just really busy and a bit overwhelming. I cannot tell you how relieved I am that we get this chance. The savings may still go on future attempts but being able to see how I respond and perhaps identify other areas where we should do tests will be great and maybe make future cycles more likely to succeed--but of course it will work first time--. I wish that none of us had to pay a fortune to have a family.
Went back to the personal trainer tonight and now I am off for a hot bath. I am sooooo sore already. Tomorrow will be brutal.
Big waves to everyone and sorry for not doing a good job of name checking.
Darn. Strikethrough fail.......
madness you should come here. No forms! Jez I can't believe the things you have to think about Well done you for cracking on.
Oh, hello all on the shiny new fred
madness/buzz I know it was madness who brought it up originally, but buzzy replied at the end of the last thread, and I was just replying to the last person who contributed to the conversation.
doll the forms are compulsory here due to the HFEA. I guess it is sensible to have to agree on these things before a potential marital breakdown or bereavement or something. The child protection ones are the ones I object to. You don't have to pass any test to be declared fit to have a child if you are fertile, but you do if you are fertility-challenged. Harrumph. How are you doing? I had some slight scratchy womb feelings last night, but nothing different to what I feel pretty much every cycle. I really don't feel like this is our cycle.
I am in a right grump. Have been all day. I think the progesterone is giving me throughout-the-2ww-PMT. Brilliant.
euro a 'friend' of mine kept a record of her cycles and kept going on how each cycle was the same so her BFP was a big surprise as it was the same as all the other ones.
euro children protection questions, what now? Blimey. In my first IVF I signed a consent form for the EC on my way in to the op room (no idea what was on it as no effort was made to let me read it) and lets face it I had no underwear on by this stage. This time they had me sit on the slab
I reminded them I hadn't signed then they made me lay down I reminded them I hadn't signed They put the iv in I reminded them I hadn't signed I finally 'signed' the bloody thing with my legs up, chilly chuff and iv in same hand. <sigh> I have missed out plenty of descriptions of the location specific delights this time, it's just too depressing. As for the forms you guys face, in the end it doesn't apply to me as we fail to make enough embies in worry about these things.
I'm sorry you are in a grump, I would have replied last night if I hadn't fallen asleep on the sofa at 10.30 pm as usual, once again to be up in the early hours. It's such a drag. I'm afraid I can't really tell you what's up with me and I wouldn't know scratchy womb feelings if they came to bite me on the ass. I feel different from the last IVF cycle despite the fact that the drugs are the same. I don't feel I can tell effects of drugs in isolation to what else my body is doing. I've had very mild pain just above the pubic bone since the ET, on and off, which doesn't seem like a good thing
try to block 'bad transfer' annoyed womb a la sar out of my mind
euro Did you feel more positive directly after the transfer? I guess it's likely your feelings will bounce around a bit during the 2ww. Almost half way now, already.
I'm counting the days even though they are busy and full of other issues, work, looking after Little Doll and dealing with issues about our near future which is still a big fat question mark and has been dragging on for months. I'm also counting the days to a TTC free life after this IVF and trying to explore how that will play out.
gin how are you feeling now? I wanted to write about your comments on the last fred, I'm sorry you have been feeling low, it's a long road isn't it. You are making the right choices though, just have to keep going.
Damn sorry me me me and I'm off, others awake in the flat now, have to go.
Have a good Wednesday all. x
Thanks buzzy for the shiney new thread.
madness I'm sorry that you feel like you're on an IVF conveyor belt. I was thinking about what you said and feel quite lucky that I haven't got that impression at my hospital at all. In fact I did wonder how many ladies were doing their treatment at the same time as me because it all seems really quite relaxed.
nelly we were like you when it came to filling out the forms -and filled them out ten minutes before we left the house for the appointment-- I was surprised that MrP wanted me to tick the box allowing me to use our embryos in the event of his death or incapacitation
I resisted the urge to make some dig about how his mum would probably want to carry the embryo herself
I think like you we are so overwhelmed by the immediate issues. Am I the only one who is a bit surprised at the lack of meaningful discussion about the treatment and the lack of vetting? Nobody has even asked us how long we have been together and were surprised to learn that we were married.
doll you made me laugh at the cold chuff comment I so hope that the strange pain is a good sign for you. I hadn't even considered bad transfers. I just assumed that a bad transfer is dropping the things. Maybe ignorance is bliss.
euro sorry you are grumpy. It must be an up and down time emotionally.
gin I hope you are feeling better. I think that anything on top of TTC knocks us for six a bit.
lemons how did your appointment go?
My drugs have arrived and I was a bit surprised by how much of it there is. Two fairly big boxes I was not expecting. I was also not expecting to feel so repulsed by it all. I can't explain it but I don't want to look at the stuff and can't believe that it has some to this. Still I have a new handbag - there was a "fertility bag" in the consignment
MrP was also very, very happy with the cold packs. Well that makes all this worthwhile then doesn't it
Waves to sar and buzzy
doll I know what you mean about the chilly chuff. The theatre was arctic for ET and there was a breeze blowing directly up there. I guess some things are the same where you and here! We have to fill out the forms even though the are only aiming to collect one egg from us and most of the ethical issues could not arise.
I'm not sure that I did feel more positive after transfer. When the drs went out and left us in the theatre alone with a little print out of the embie being shot into my womb, I said rather wryly, "I give it less than a week before my killer womb rips it apart". I'm sure the pessamism is self-protection. I don't want a crushing disappointment next week. I hope the strange pain is a good sign for you. The scratchy feeling is not encouraging for me, because I have had it so many times before. Does it mean that all those times there has been an embie in there trying to do something? Or is it completely unrelated? I'll never know. I had it again this morning. I'm trying to note what I feel on FF and not menkul too much. Obviously it isn't working that well.
We are exactly halfway now - EC a week ago, official test date next Wednesday. Time is not exactly flying by. I should be busy with work but am struggling to get my head into it.
pout almost a year ago, I had the same reaction. Mr Euro had to try to hide the fridge drugs behind some salad and the rest elsewhere in the house. We tried to cancel the delivery before they came but they turned up almost as soon as we were awake, so hiding them was the best we could manage.
<waves to all>
euro I remember you saying that the drugs were sort of forced on you. Maybe I should try hiding the boxes behind the
crumble salad in the fridge.
It's not the reaction I was expecting to have & I admit I did have a bit of a wail about wanting to cancel. MrP said that if we did that it would just delay the inevitable. As it stands I am willing my period to stay away, not from a BFP stand point, but just because I don't want it to be CD1 anytime soon.
I use pessimism too to try and ward off disappointments so I understand where you are coming from. The 2ww is the part I am dreading most I think (though from a totally shallow point of view I am still shitting it about the injections). I feel like IVF was my safety blanket that was there for way off in the future. After this there is no Plan C.
I remember it well euro don't tell me that was nearly a year ago??
pout that was a funny post - MrP's mum, "fertility bag" and free cold packs
Yep doll. It was Feb or March last year. We were due to start in March but put it off until June. Most of those drugs are still cluttering up my fridge!
doll I have faith that this cycle can work for you (bah to dodgy transfers) but I imagine that coming to the end of the AC journey could be quite liberating. MrM and I are agreeing to a maximum 4 tries (2 nhs and two self funded) before calling it a day. At 34 I think that's reasonable. We may decide that we don't want to do that many but we need to be sure that we're on the same page abut what our limit is and can move on to adoption while we're still relatively "young" by uk standards.
pout I too have felt panicky that we are at ivf and this was my "if we can't do it ourselves" scenario. I do feel like adoption is our plan c but I know that that isn't right for everyone. Glad your clinic felt relaxed. I'm sure it depends on the day. I am really bad for not wanting to cause a fuss or put people out so if they seem rushed I am more likely to not ask the questions that I wanted to and then go home and stress about it
google it on my own. MrM would also be keen on the cold packs .
Phone the doctor to book in for my next decapeptyl injection a week from Friday. I'm hoping to switch to the daily shots after this one. Not sure how I could move on to ivf in April if the downregging drugs are still working up until April 15th. I see the nurse in the clinic just before my 3rd injection would be due though so I can ask then. (that was one of the questions I didn't ask ). They did say I definitely have to be off the hrt for four weeks before starting so I'll have to stop them the end of february. I have been much calmer on it with fewer hot flushes so a bit sad about that - but will manage if it's only temporary.
Off to cook some tea. Big waves to everyone!
oh god, still there? Looking at you for a year? Any plans to evict them?
cross-post madness it's good to have a plan and doesn't mean you can't adjust/change as you go.
On my LP the downregging overlapped with the stimms, so I did both for a few days.
First night in and working on an assignment, so I am just popping by. Sorry you're so spooked by the drucks pout. I totally get the back-up plan being IVF and thus not being ready.
That is where we stand. We now qualify for IVF but I am totally not ready, so it won't happen for a while. We might do 2 more rounds of IUI, that's what the clinic recommended. But we can put our names forward for IVF now and cycle sooner rather than later. I just don't know, or actually just don't want to. Bah.
Keeping stuff crossed for odd womble feelings doll and regular ones meaning something for once euro.
How are things joy? Have you been stabbed for hcg again? And when is your first scan?
Waves and tail feathers to you all!
PS Wow 4 cycles of IVF, madness. I am not sure we'd manage more than one, let alone that many... We had in-depth discussion about the process and it freaked me out a little.
Madness - glad ivf is now in sight. Im sure the downregging will have chance to leave your system. Your plan sounds sensible, I have a feeling you wont need 4 goes
Euro- hmmm are these scratchy feelings like scrapings fron one side of the womb to the other? And seperatly, have you had a lap in recent times?
Rabbit - I know exactly whst you mean about not supposed to be returning to clinic. Its all bloody bloody hard and cruel. My appoint is tomorrow. I get really down driving even near the place . Big hugs.
Gin - hope you are feeling better. My fet was very similar to what you described, I had wondered if ovulation could be monitored by bloods too. I will ask about ptogesterone support. Thank you for all that information.
Doll - hang in there, this could work for you.
Pout - the drugs are awfully overwhelming. Don't look at them , just take out whats needed as you go along. It will feel better when you get started.
Hope you are well joy, do your parents know?
Hello to art, kemon, critter, buzz, sea and everyone.n
I have been most ponderous on things said here today, yesterday. I properly love you lot. But I'm making tea so will return in a bit. I like that I'm not on a self imposed drinking ban. Though I don't keep wine in the house anymore so tonight I've had a shot of whiskey, mad men style
Whisky? Nelly I'm sorry for not knowing
Ok, tea made and time for chatting. Some days I have so much to say about infertility (I use that word now and believe it actually does apply to me, I think I'm past ttc). Today I worked with a new colleague and we finished off in my office. She saw a picture of my nephews and said oh my god your kids are gorgeous, how old are they? It was a surreal moment, like for three hours the woman had been with me and at that moment perceived me as a mother of two little boys. Because so feasibly I could be. But I'm not. I might never be. Because, like you so beautifully said pout there is no plan c. And Plan B will be all gone in 6 months time. doll I've not stopped thinking about what you said about a life without ttc. It's touched something in me. Because one day that will happen, I won't be sat in this waiting room, just sat there waiting to hear if in my next chapter I win the lottery or discover something I love died. That's not to say there aren't other good chapters threaded inbetween. But I'll be glad when I've found out which ending I get.
So. pout the bag of drugs sounds freaky. Take euros advice and hide them behind the salad. I am glad my mum is a nurse and has now promised to do initial jabbing. I forgot that she could do this! Yay me! But I know that you can do this. And that Dave will help, interest in the cool packs is good! One step at a time.
Doorbell. Posting in case of post loss!
No e, rabbit. Honestly, you southerners . Whisky. It's Whisky. But you are forgiven! So long as you only drank it neat or with a whiff of water, and not, promise me, with coke. Ginger is ok, so long as you only use cooking whisky <wise.>
I do understand the thoughts on IVF being last chance saloon, but it's not. Never mind adoption or donor eggs
or baby rustling but you can still get pregnant naturally even after IVF you know . Case in point by the way is my sister who had an IVF baby, and then 18 months later, after a failed FET, got pregnant naturally. Also I've found that I've had a bit more ovary pain and EWCM since my round, and I have heard that the drugs can boost fertility even after the cycle. So don't despair yet. That said, I know that sometimes it's easier to not have hope every month, and I sound like an irritating Just Relax type . Ignore as appropriate!
What are the cool packs for? I didn't get those <sulk>. Pout, MrP being impressed by them reminds me of the first clinic we saw. They had a "lounge" with free wifi that MrNelly thought was awesome. As if we don't have a lounge with wifi at home .
Where was I?
doll hang in there lady. Maybe womb pain is good? I always think anything different is good? I have been thinking about you a lot. Whichever way things go, a life without ttc sounds so alluring when I hear you say it. But how do you feel about that?
madness that's a clear plan. I have a plan that fits in three ivf. But that's when I imagine it happening to a very distant version of me. Not actually ME. I think we might end up doing cycles together. And you lemon I'm not ready either. Maybe I'll never be ready .
euro thinking of you. It really might not be that you have a shredder womb you know. And from all I've read on t'net you never can tell if the symptoms are symptoms or the lack of symptoms are symptoms. But god it must be excruciatingly long.
I now can't remember who I wanted to say hello to. So hello everyone (said primary school stylee). I've been in so many primary schools this month its made my brain coddled. And in some of the most socio economic deprived areas in the UK. Nk killer cells don't seem so rife in the early twenties age bracket?!
I go to hospital tomorrow. No one is cutting me from hip to hip. It will be ok. But it feels like a trip to b and q in terms of likelihood of getting me diffed.
Neat nelly! Always neat. And bestest single malt. Promise.
Posting on phone so apologizing now for dodgy spelling and punctuation!
Lemon i really hope we don't need 4 and to be honest there are some conditions. if there is no bfp and no reason for it after 3 goes then we'll stop there. If there are bfps that don't work out then we might stretch to four. MrM has been looking at statistics. not like we are overthinking this at all .
Thanks for the optimism sar.
Good luck tomorrow rabbit. Will all be fine. MrM is horrified that i can't drink whisky. he has quite the collection! And never consumed with coke nelly. Talisker just featured on great British menu. MrM approved.
Fed up with phone! Night everyone.
rabbit you are lovely. Good luck tomorrow, you can do it. Deal with this chapter, it's just a thing and it will pass.
To your question I feel calm and ready. This is a different time for me now. Am I pissed off that I got deeper and deeper into this shit and ended up spending my hard won cash on AC in this challenging place (something I said I would not do)? Yes, a bit. It was cheap by other standards but at the end of the day the most expensive IVF are the one's that don't work whatever the outlay. Unlike nelly I've found my post IVF cycles less promising than pre (if that's even possible ) and I don't see myself trying to find my way back to 'good' cycles in a race to my next birthday nor prepare for IVF 3. I have had less faith this cycle than the last so I'm not in a great place to start again. So yes, there are negatives but that's ok. I'm also prepared to stop TTC because I'm a tiny bit pregnant, of course One week to go. Loves rabbit
I think that it's going to be CD1 here today. Again. have booked some holidays and trips to cheer myself up but DH's cheery new year's "Don't worry Free, We'll be parents next christmas" doesn't look like it's going to materialise. So far all that is happening with the traditional chinese medicine Woo herbs is I am going to the loo every day as opposed to once every two days. Apparently this is a sign of warming up of my lower body. Hmmm. Maybe I should save more for the IVF. But not sure DH is going to want to go for it. fingers still crossed for doll and euro. Last IUI this cycle.
Sorry your IUI didn't work free. How many have you done now? Do you feel able to carry on?
Enjoy being a little bit pregnant doll! And impressed with your calm and collection. I have to say the only thing pushing me towards IVF is the fact that we might eventually get some closure on the whole TTC process.
It sounds like a sensible plan madness. And as sar said you won't need them all. We've been looking at stats as well
nerdy, not me and it sounds like a 3 round game.
The head needs to move a lot further before I am ready to start. When will you
very distant future rabbit be going for IVF. Also, I would not count on 3 cycles being over in 6 months. That is what is putting me off as well, our clinic has an average of 2,3 cycles per year per couple (if not diffed). Which means the whole IVF plan, if we do go for 3, which is the number we're considering, will likely take more than a year... I am currently thinking by June/July (TTC for 3 years) I might be ready. And I don't need to be before than.
I have to admit, I am completely at a loss where everyone is at. So maybe we should do another list? Hope you're all well. Keeping stuff crossed for happy thawing, happy nestling, happy natural BFPs etc etc.
lemon the 6 months is one ivf. Three will require conjuring money from begging? I'm also not sure I could do one, let alone three. It's a what might my maximum limits be. I think I'll be doing ivf this August knowing how long things take. But maybe before. I just about think I could be ready. Or maybe not. I think I feel very similar to you about the whole thing. We are hoping to try iui may/june perhaps. On my way to hospital. Bleugh.
I've done 4 Lemon and got 1 IUI more to go and an IVF appointment after that. The last one was uncomfortable and stressful and I don't know if I can carry on. So far I've been positive but we've both got significant birthdays and yet another wedding anniversary coming up. My BIL has just dumped his wife and set up with another woman. MY BIL and SIL were also unwillingly childless and it's shaken me no end. Is that going to be me in the future? Sticking it out whatever happens, then dumped when I am too old to try again? (I know this is complete nonsense pessimistic thinking but it's all just too upsetting and too much to take today)
Good luck rabbit. Virtual handhold. Btw I was told that I had a (tiny) uterine cyst, the first IUI after my mc. So you're not the only one on fred. But they told me if it stays this small (and they didn't even see it the next cycle) it should not influence anything negatively...
also good luck rabbit and I have one of those cysts too. Was also told, nothing to worry about.
X-post with free. Sorry about this all. It sounds a bit much. Big benchmarks, birthdays and anniversaries. I try to enjoy them for what they are, but it does feel like time is ticking away, sadly. Wrt you BIL leaving your SIL, that is horrid. But maybe talk with your partner about the fear of being left without children and without him, as a reaction to the ILs situation. It is a fact that TTC, IF and childlessness can push people apart, and it is the one thing I fear more than it never happening. So we've talked about it, not that it gives any guarantees of course, but it is helpful to remain close to one another through this shitty process. We had a real low point during out weekend away, but since then things have improved loads, mainly because SB is no longer hiding his feelings, which in itself makes him feel better.
Would you consider postponing this IUI until you're feeling a bit better about it? Or are you willing to plough on? Remember you can always have a month off to collect yourself, if need be. If I hadn't gotten diffed on IUI4, I would have taken a month or two off after.
Hi everyone! I managed to find you in this new thread.
Pout thanks for the cheering. Yes. Hoping for a miracle as I know how low the chances of IUI success is (10 15%), nevermind 1st time. I am not surprised you feel repulse by drugs. I didnt have to take much at all for IUI but I hate taking drugs and never even take aspirin for headaches! We deserve a medal for all we have to do for AC. Good luck!
Joy any news? All going well? I really hope so. So exciting. Hope you are relaxing, taking it easy and enjoying the pregnancy.
Euro & Rabbit have you ladies had NK cells tested? I have read about this but dont really know that much about it. I wonder if it has any correlation with how often you are ill? Thats probably a really stupid question.
Euro good luck with test date next Wed!! Hope its good news for Valentines day!
Madness thanks for the good wishes. I too hope I am like your friend whose 1st IUI worked. I am aware of how unlikely it is though but still thinking positive. I feel for Mr M. Docs do talk about IVF v quickly. I have had IVF consultations and despite all the research I have done, I felt somewhat lost too. I had the same re dildocam. They couldnt find my left ovary when they were about to do IUI but then found it straight away the next day.
Buzzy I too have thought long and hard about adoption. I think in the UK you need to show that you have not been TTCing for 1 year before being considered though. Is that right?
Doll Glad you like my cling film story . I know exactly how you feel about being at 19 to 19.5 BMI. I have managed to get to get to 19 now and although I know I am not far. I really dont like the muffin top I seem to have grown. I tell myself that having a baby is more important and one day I can exercise again. (I stopped all cardio exercise at the suggestion of doctors and now only yoga).
Critter thanks for the wishes re my 2ww. Its not been too bad so far. I have been keeping v busy so I wont think about it
Viv - how are you doing? Haven't seen you on here for a while. Are you about to do IUI?
I love all the MIL discussion and had a good laugh at them. My MIL is a lovely woman but she mothers Mr Sea like he is still a baby. She irons his underwear when she comes to stay!!!! (I am not joking). She brings him breakfast in bed and sits in bed with him (yes - I am still in bed but not for long). She also loves reorganising my kitchen. I keep my mouth shut because I know she is trying to help. She never says anything about us having babies but its written all over her face. When my BIL & his wife had their 3rd child, she said, oh but surely its your turn! Bless her... I know she means well. Mr Sea tells her everything about our fertility issues and she kind of looks at me with concern every time I see her...
Re the ethical issues about AC. MrSea and I spent no more than 5 mins discussing them. I would give anything away for scientific progress so I think I ticked yes to everything. As for using Mr Seas sperm if something happened to him. Its an interesting one. He ticked yes but honestly, I am not sure I would use it if something did happen to him but didnt tell him that of course. Does that make me a bad person??? The thought of having a child by myself is too scary. I think without Mr Sea I wouldnt do it.
So all in all, I have not been as crazy as I thought I would be on 2WW. I think making myself uber busy at work and studying part time for my masters has helped no time to think or symptom spot. The only thing making me slightly crazy is not drinking coffee with soya milk. Its been more than 1 and a half weeks. I am seriously considering treating myself to one today surely 1 wont hurt? - thoughts??
Okay end of mammoth post.
Hello to everyone else I have missed. Thinking of all of you who are waiting & stimming! x
Freedom - I missed you in the last post. I meant to say I am really sorry the IUI didn't work. It's perfectly natural to feel pessimistic after a negative outcome. You have another one and then IVF so hope is definitely not lost. A big hug and hand hold. x
doll I keep thinking I should pass them on to someone who would otherwise have to pay for their own drugs, we are still considering mild IVF, so I will keep them until we have ruled that out.
Sarlat I've had the scratching from one side to another before but this time it wasn't that sustained. My lap was in 1997, so not recent!
Good luck for you appointment rabbit. What's this one for? Whisky is the one thing I just can't drink. When I was a child I managed to get an infection where a tooth was coming though over Xmas. Of course all of the drs and chemists were closed, but we had a houseful of booze. My Dad suggested rinsing my mouth out with whisky as a temporary measure. I did, and promptly chundered EVERYWHERE. I haven't been able to stomach even the smell of whiskey since then. I think my dad was most disappointed - it was a complete waste of his good single malt!
doll I'm quite envious of you contemplating moving on. I'm not ready for that yet. But I do want the ttc misery to be over. I always said I would never do IVF. And yet here I am. <eats words>
drizz has a good point, Madness. For full drug cycles, clinics will usually want at least one completely clear cycle in between, or recommend a gap of 12 weeks between starting cycles, etc. And bear in mind that if you get frosties, you will probably want to use those before moving on to another full cycle.
free sorry that AF seems to be on the way. Big birthdays and all wedding anniversaries are hard.
Sea X-posts. Yes, I have had my NK cells tested, and they were high. There is a lot of debate over the validity of the blood test for them though. Based on my result, I took some hardcore steroids during the luteal phase for 6 cycles, during which time I did 3x Letrozole, 1xnatural (when on holiday) and 2x IUI. At the end of it, I got my first ever abnormal smear - no one warned me that this can be a possible "side-effect" of the drugs (steroids are a risk factor for cervical abnormalities). The result came during my disasterous NHS half-cycle of IVF and massively added to the stress. Since then I have said, never again! I have no idea what my NK cells are doing now, but I haven't had any illness for a very long time.
PS sea I am at your MIL's antics. It brought to mind this Family Guy episode that was on last week:
The bath scene is particularly horrific, but it sounds like your MIL is only one step off!
freedom sorry about the family split. That's tough and understandable that you then think about your own relationship, I do that. Ttc takes up a big slice of what me and hare think and talk about and I wish it didn't. It travels round with us wherever we go and like lemon says, it's transformed anniversaries into sad tinged things. But I don't think ttc alone would be the wrecking of most relationships. Just possibly a crowbar in already existing significant cracks?
sea I really should test my nk cells, for what it's worth. But I do get bugs and viruses and things. Who knows.
So. Help from the 10plussers needed!!! Here is the upshot of what is most likely my last meeting with Dr Big.
1. He is concerned about my spotting and has referred me for a scan. Thrilling. But not a repeat prog test because my past two have been fine. 18 months ago I will be going back the GP to request my own.
2. Do I want 6 months clomid or an ivf referral. As if I make that decision on the spot! 2-3 months of clomid not an option and if I self fund IUI before ivf I won't get nhs finding. So, i can take 6 months monitored clomid with no IUI then refer for ivf OR get referred ASAP. Current waiting time 6 weeks. He thought I should try the clomid but then said but, your age is ticking along...
I'm immensely pissed off I can't choose my own time parameters for clomid or have the option of self funding IUI while I wait for ivf. I don't think clomid will work. But what if it did...
And if the scan reveals any kind of blob that might be contributing to the spotting I will actually go insane. Though I am convinced its hormonal as its so cyclical. I feel all in a tailspin. What would you do? I can't afford to not have a free ivf go. But I feel shoehorned into a timeframe I don't like.
Rabbit it's a tough one isn't it? It is really crap that they are bieng so inflexible. It just adds to the stress unnecessarily.
I don't understand why you would lose funding if you have private IUI (how would they even know?). Who set that stupid rule? Sure it is in the interest of the public purse to "allow" this because if the privately-funded treatment works, you save the NHS money! We had private IUI before IVF and I know a few people who had private IVF (that worked) whilst they were waiting for their NHS round.
If I remember rightly, you are unexplained and you ovulate - is that right?
Unless like me you just need to work up to the bigger treatments with baby steps, I wouldn't bother with Clomid. All it can possibly do is put two eggs where you are already putting one (and Letrozole didn't even manage that for me - I was only popping one egg on it). Realistically, if you haven't managed to conceive in X cycles with one egg there, what difference is a second one really going to make? With the benefit of hindsight, I feel that was a waste of money, although it did help me with the babysteps towards the bigger treatments. I can see that 6 weeks is a really short time to get your head around this - it took me a year to be ready for IVF from the time we got the go ahead and the drugs were delivered, ready for us to start! I did find that once I was in the system, my clinic was happy to postpone for a few cycles until I felt ready. It didn't put me to the back of the queue.
Fingers crossed that your scan is clear. x
sea sorry but your MIL sounds a bit too creepy for me that kind of shit would not be tolerated in my house, breakfast in bed while I am still there!!! Reminds me abit of Charlotte in SATC. Its supposed to be 6 months after ivf that you can apply for adoption but how are they going to know, I would imagine most couples keep trying and that is what I plan to do.
rabbit the question you need to ask yourself are you ready for IVF in 6 weeks??? Or do you need time to think about it more, I agree witjh euro about clomid and the eggs but then if its not costing you and you need more time you can try it, if its not for you then you don't hav eto keep taking the drugs. Don't rush any decisions that you are not comfortable with
free if your BIL has dumped your SIL and is already shacked up with some other woman, the your poor SIL is lucky that she is not stuck with the selfish git or having his baby, better to have a baby with someone who loves you for who you are not whether you can reproduce. She must be devastated. It doesn't mean your marriage will end up the same.
euro it's a new stipulation of my pct since reinstating ivf, if you self fund ANYTHING no ivf. It doesn't make sense to me either, if I had a couple of Iui cycles and it worked theyre quids in. I'm not sure I need baby steps in terms of being messed with, the op has sorted that. But I do psychologically find it hard to accept ill be going for the big guns without trying smaller things first. What if I do have a progesterone deficiency or hostile cm. but I guess if ivf works it doesn't matter. Not that I think it will. Hare wants me to stop saying that.
rabbit It's interesting that euro feels the same as me about Clomid. If I could go back in time I wouldn't take it. I think I only took it because I was on the waiting list for IVF and thought it wouldn't do any harm and would help while away the time. In actual fact in my mind it did more harm than good in that it made me homicidal and fat. Just what you need when you feel about as attractive as a brick anyway where TTC has already eroded any confidence in your feminine wiles. Brings to mind some line in a programme I was watching a while ago (can't remember what) where someone was described as "barren as a brick" Made me laugh. I think most dangerously it got my hopes up that it might be the miracle pill. Of course it wasn't because there is no evidence that it helps ovulating women with unexplained infertility. It just made those cycles even harder when the witch inevitably rocked up. Anyway, that's my overview.
It's good that Dr Big is looking at your spotting. I too hope that no blob appears on the scan unless it's a surprise baby shaped blob
sea I laughed at the thought of your MIL climbing into bed with you and MrSea. Cripes.
I don't really know about the coffee thing. I guess that if you have managed to come this far you might as well carry on! I am very impressed. There is nothing on Gods earth that could persuade me to drink Soya milk! As a thought, MrP sometimes drinks almond or oat milk as an alternative to Soya. He reckons that's nice. Maybe you could try that?
lemons It's good that you don't feel pressurised and can do another couple of goes of IUI. Ideally I would have liked that. Kind of a break in before I reached the Boss Level
sarlat thanks for your advice about the drugs. That's a good idea
nelly The cold packs came with the box of refrigerated drugs
you should phone your clinic and demand them because they are proper Thermos branded ones Oh how what a skip down memory lane we will have when MrP produces those on a picnic.
at MrNelly and the wifi. It's amazing what a freebie can do!
doll I totally agree with you how post IVF cycles will probably feel less likely to succeed. I know that a failed IVF cycle (which will be our last because we only get one funded fresh cycle) will for me be the equivalent of some booming voice from above telling me the dream is over.
madness MrP likes to collect whisky too and even keeps the more fancy/stylish empty bottles. Packing empty bottles of booze everytime we move is beyond irritating!
freedom I understand your fears for the future but like rabbit said I think while TTC can put an enormous strain on a relationship I think it is only the death knell if there are other problems besides infertility.
I am so sorry that your IUI wasn't successful. Benchmarks are crap. I too comfort myself with the "I'll be pregnant/a mother by next Christmas" and then get all despondent when it doesn't happen - again. It's a shitty situation.
I have taken everyones advice and hidden the drugs and trying to distract myself and not think about the impending CD1. Today I have made MrP a birthday present (we don't really do presents but homemade is okay!). He will probably think it is naff but I have printed out and framed some of the lyrics of one the songs we had at our wedding (it was our anniversary too yesterday so it's kind of pertinent!).
Waves to everyone
Bloody hell rabbits that's a bit of a shock re possible ivf in 6 weeks. I think you'd need to feel ready for it. It's such a tough thing to do, I really do think you have to want to do it, as much as anyone ever actually wants to. I agree with euro that the NHS wouldn't know about any private ivf ! My drs doesn't have a clue about all our cycles. I really do hope the scan is all ok. So many people have spotting that i refuse to believe it's indicative of anything. Btw thanks for offering to believe for me last weekend! That cheered me up.
freedom sorry about the iui cycle. You are not your BIL/SIL and I'm sure wont end up like them. Big hugs.
Aww doll thanks for your nice words. Hope you are doing ok. I thought I was ok with getting towards what feels like the end of ttc, but last weekend showed that really I'm not. All the crap surrounding your future and the 2ww can't be an easy combo. Hang in there lady.
euro hope you are ok too. I found after stims the progesterone chilled me out, but I was a crazy beatch on the gonal f! You and doll have both remained so calm. I am impressed!
sea when is your otd??
Can't remember what else I wanted to say! It's been a hard week with feeling shite after the flu
i cried cos i felt so tired! but we're off for a nice boutique night away now and I can't wait. Gotta go but hope you all have lovely weekends when they arrive.
Happy anniversary pout. Well done on the drug hiding. Mine found a long term home in the top compartment of the door. That way, I don't see them when I open the fridge to look for something.
In Scotland it's the same. You are entitled to 2 funded cycles but every one you self-fund comes off that allowance . They know through the HFEA. The last time I saw my NHS consultant he implied that might be changing. Rabbit can you say yes to the clomid but then not take all 6 months worth? Or say yes to the IVF but then tell them you are unwell when you are due to start to delay it a bit?
Pout, I'm still none the wiser as to what you do with the cold packs though . All instructions are to keep warm?? Happy anniversary by the way! I'm planning on printing up readings, vows, lyrics etc into a sort of collage . I remember your wedding and the stresses leading up to it. Can't believe that's a year.
nelly the cold packs are to keep the drugs cool in transitt, before they reach the fridge.
We only go crappy disposible ones.
nelly some of the drugs have to be stored in the fridge and the cold packs are provided to keep them cold during the time they are on the courier's delivery van
I really like your collage idea. I intended on doing that until we had the car crash wedding!!! I have only just printed off some photos. Next stage is being able to face framing them and looking at them every day
MIL's gurning face still makes me want to do murderous things Baby steps
thanks for your kind words ladies, specially rabbit and lemon I am feeling a bit better, Work has gone well today. And I am going out tonight.
buzzy yep. that exactly.
seaview my MIL also babies DH a bit, but doesn't iron his pants. Just socks. She doesnt know about our TTC. I wish she did sometimes but they never even mention it, just look really sad. Good luck to you. My mum on the other hand drives me nuts always wanting know to know what is happening.
Gin Thanks, must keep saying that to myself. Enjoy your boutique trip away.
Pout you softie romantic - I love stuff like that. I often sing DH lyrics from a song from our wedding at unromantic moments, like folding clothes
rabbit what a bind. I wasn't ready for IVF referral either but I couldnt stand another 6 months on metformin with my gynae so I just went for it.
fingers still crossed for euro and doll.
Hello ladies. Have escaped to a cafe after a full on day with no breaks . I like being busy but feeling that you don't even have time for a loo break is taking it too far. That will have to change when I'm being instructed to drink gallons of milk and water.
I hope you're just busy joy and you'll be back with an update soon. I'm sure I'm not the only one missing you.
Glad to know that ovaries in hiding are normal sea. I think if they can't find it next time they will send me for a "proper" scan as opposed to the gynae drs doing it themselves in the clinic.
pout happy anniversary . I made the mistake of starting to try on our first anniversary so it has become a benchmark of how long this is taking. But we still try to do something special. I keep meaning to print out our vows and frame them. Not for public display, mind, just for somewhere in our bedroom perhaps.
rabbit that is a huge decision. I don't understand either why they would discourage people from self funding IUI. I kind of understand why the Scottish system says that you lose nhs rounds if you self fund ivf
while thinking that it's pretty miserable at the same time since the chances of it working decrease after 3 I think and they can't justify it on public expenditure if the prognosis isn't good. But since they only fund two rounds I think you should be able to pay for one yourself while you're waiting to get to the top of the list without being penalised. 6 weeks is a remarkably short wait for treatment and I agree with others that you should try to step back and make sure that you're comfortable with it. I can't really wade into the clomid debate because I know exactly what is causing my problems and clomid wouldn't help at all. Ivf is our only hope bar a miracle.
free glad you're feeling better and sorry for the family dramas. I have friends who have been torn apart by unemployment and bereavements and I know that it can be the same with fertility problems. You know your own relationship and how strong it is. I feel like all of this sh*t - including IF, the death of a parent, Alzheimer's, Unemployment and more - has made us much stronger as a couple. I suppose there has to be a silver lining [wrysmile].
I thinks other list is a good idea lemon. Might encourage some newbies to delurk if they see who we are and where we are at. I am just about to lose my free wifi so will add my details tonight.
Big waves to gin nelly sar euro and doll and everyone else I've missed.
Free - so sorry af arrived, do something nice for yourself. Big hugs, I know its horrible.
Sea - your mil sounds crazy but lovely. I say have that coffee
Rabbit and euro - have some thoughts for you both but am in a mad crazy rush tonight so will be back tomorrow.
Hello to all
pout I kept some of those ice packs thinking they would be handy and happy anniversary
Ohhhh. The cold packs are for the drugs. Ah, that explains it. Up here in the frozen north, there is no need to artificially chill things.
Freedom sorry the IUI didn't work. The whole thing is a big fat pain in the arse isn't it?
Sea I'm not sure how I'd feel about the MIL in the bedroom scenario. I think my own mum is a bit lacking in boundaries sometimes, never mind the MIL. I too am wondering about Joy and hoping her absence is pregnancy exhaustion and nothing more.
Gin are you starting to feel any better?
Hmm right must go and pour myself a rum. I had decided after a boozy wedding/honeymoon period that abstinence was necessary, but it's boring. So I'm having a drink .
A slightly quieter day at work so thought I'd do a bit of a catch up.
sar did you ovulate yet? I so hope you caught the golden egg this time. How are you feeling in the new job, now the dust has settled a bit?
madness that is crap that you haven't had any breaks today - poor you! Outrageous that you don't have time to go to the loo. Humph. But it is brilliant that IVF is in sight though. I bet you can't wait to get on with it.
sea at your MIL. Actually though, it reminds me that when I was first dating MrC, my mum would threaten to come in with a cup of tea for me in the morning when we stayed at my parents. I chased her away and she never did it again - MrC was horrified at the prospect! She means well.
free so sorry you've been having a rough time of it. Good luck with your last IUI - I hope it's the lucky one for you two.
euro not long now. You're amazing for getting through this 2ww. I agree that it's impossible to read the symptoms - although of course I can't imagine not doing that - you just don't know. But you have every chance of this working - you have a good, strong embie and I hope with all my heart that it is busy making itself comfortable in there.
doll you're amazing. I really know what you mean about wanting to know the end of the story and put all this behind you one way or another. It is exhausting to have to have so much brain space and emotional energy sucked up by it.
nelly the love collage sounds like a gorgeous idea. I say go for it! I did something similar with my wedding album which I did online. <cheesy and proud> It was fun! Hope you're staying warm up there.
pout happy first anniversary! I hope you're celebrating tonight with something suitably romantic and nice. at the 'fertility bag' - the horror! Also, I totally understand the feeling repulsed sensation. It is bloody horrible as a process, it feels like you're basically turning your body into an egg farm, and the emotional stress of it all is no joke. But. We are here to hand hold. And you are incredibly, incredibly courageous and brave to be doing this. You're going to have one lucky little baby.
joy are you ok? Thinking of you.
gin aw I am sorry you've been so sick. A boutique night away sounds like just the ticket. Hope you have a lovely, lovely time and thoroughly spoil yourselves!
rabbit hope today's appointment has gone well. Virtual paw squeeze and tail feather fluff. And wow on the possible IVF soon.
lemon you are so wise about the relationship stuff around this. It is so hard, and so important to keep talking. I'm really glad that SB is feeling better and that the two of you are staying close. You've really had a shit time of it, and I think you're a hero for ploughing on.
mrsd I may be joining you in the spring on your IVF cycle - more on that in a bit. Hope you're feeling ok.
buzz big wave to you lovely. V interesting chat about the adoption.
So guys, I have a dilemma. I don't know if I have ovulated or not. On Friday I spotted a tiny bit. Then on Saturday my temp shot up and stayed there for three days before coming back down again (although it wasn't necessarily accurate as I woke up at weird times every day that it was high). FF gave me a dotted cross-hatch... but I didn't seen any EWCM, unlike my lone ovulation in December, and my temp is now back down below the coverline. I am still getting the odd ovary twinge, but it's CD 41 and I don't know if/when I'm going to ovulate again.
So... I'm thinking that it might be easier to just be done with it and stop trying to work out when my rogue body will decide to ovulate, go back to the doc and sign myself up for IVF after all. I think he'd want me to do long protocol, which would mean three weeks on the pill first. Just to complicate things, I am going on holiday (skiing...eek) in seven weeks' time... so if I'm going to get a cycle in before then, I'd need to crack on soon. It might be easier to just have sex when I feel like it and outsource the conception part. Argh. Wondering whether to email the doc and ask his advice. Sorry for the me me me. Waves to all... and thank heavens it's nearly Friday, hooray!
critter you've given it a go naturally so if you feel ready for IVF then it can't hurt speaking to the doc, I am very excited about adoption, more than I am about IVF to be honest
Critter I think timing-wise you would be in danger of being away at the crucial time. First they would need to give you something to induce a bleed (probably), the 3 weeks of Pill, then 2-3 weeks of downregging and maybe 10 days of stimms. Unless you were away for the Pill part, it would be a nightmare I reckon. Even people who don't downreg as badly as I did tend not to feel great on the drugs. And during stimming you have giant uncomfortable ovaries. Just a few things to think about.
BTW, I am back in your neck of the woods for blossom season. It's much cheaper to fly out on Saturday than Sunday for my meetings the following week, so I will have a free day on Sunday 21st April, if you fancy coming out to play?
Nooo euro I am on a poetry retreat in southern Missouri that weekend. Argh. Back that Sunday night though so could hang out during the week? Thanks for the advice on timings - I will chill and wait a bit longer then talk to the doc in a couple of weeks. Maybe I could do a cycle in April/May.
buzzy you are going to make such a fab mum.
critter I think we will all be great mums, I feel by next year I'll have a child one way or another just need Barry to stop dragging his heels
That's a shame, Critter. I am around until Thursday though, so hopefully we can sort something out before I go (Tuesday night might work?). It would be lovely to see you again.
I think we will all be great mums. We will appreciate it so much more because of what we have been through.
euro that is indeed true. But I came to that conclusion about 18 months in, and don't need any more time to realise just how lucky I'll be to have a baby <shakes hand at the Finger>. C'mon already!
I am jealous of you and critter having drinkies in DC. And critter your life sounds fab
Agreed, we need a 10+er badge of honour for when the miniature versions do finally turn up! That Tuesday night will be perfect euro - I'm already looking forward to it. It's crap luck about the weekend as apart from my early April week away, I don't have any out-of-town trips planned til June!
nelly you and I will have a Scottish meet up one day, I'll make sure of it. Talisker whisky <note - not whiskey, I am learning! > will be involved.
And one day I will make it to London when you're all having a big 10 plusser meet up and get to meet all the gang! Oh happy day that will be.
I had my lap years ago, but I felt very very tender and sore afterwards and could not possibly have contemplated dtd then!
If you really want to have a go, you could try the turkey baster method?
There is no way I would have wanted to have sex the day after a lap. I was sore, bruised, feeling sick, weak etc. in fact my op was almost 3 weeks ago and we still haven't done it yet. But everyone is different.
You might find ovulation is delayed anyway because of the drugs. My af came later than expected.
The general anaesthetic, painkillers, sedatives etc.
I have no idea whether it does delay it or not. But I know stress can delay it for me and the op was a time of stress. They also gave me lots of ibuprofen and that can delay ovulation. Honestly, I wouldn't make plans, see how you feel. I was in quite a bit if pain afterwards and it took me 10 days to feel myself again. It might be a small and routine proceedure but it is still abdominal surgery. If you do manage it the day after then I will be in awe of you!
Also, I bled for a couple of days afterwards. It was a bit like a mini period. I don't think everyone gets this but the dr said it was normal because my uterus had been shoved about!
Running in here to say gail there is no way AT ALL I could have had sex the day after my lap! I was sore, bleeding, miserable and am not a grit my teeth and get on with it person (and I would have needed gritted teeth). My cons says it makes a difference for 3 cycles. Good luck with the lap, it took me a good week to feel back to normal, mostly due to the GA but on a grand scale of ttc things, it's not so bad.
WAve to the fluffy tailed ones, back soon.
Same with me gail, there was absolutely no way there was any sex the week after my lap. I did get a BFP the IUI cycle after the lap cycle (but mc). If you think you can do the deed, you amight not be taking the lap seriously enough. Even if there is nothing at all wrong with you, the GA takes some time to clear, I had spotting for a few days as well, like mrsd and the gas made me fairly uncomfortable doing anything more strenously than lazing about and feeling sorry for myself for about 4 days.
Waves from a very busy lemon!
I really have no idea why you would want to have sex after that, but people are different, so fair game on you. For what is it worth I felt a hell of a lot better physically after mc than after the lap (psychologically is was the other way round). Btw will you report back on the success both of DTD that night and on the result of that shag.
I'm that you could want to do it the day after an Erpc. But, an Erpc doesn't actually involve wounds in the abdomen, my wounds were really quite tender for a few days afterwards, I couldn't have anything touch them and I wasn't able to lie on my side or front.
So you turn up on the thread, ask a question, to which you receive a unanimous answer (from people taking time to post their experiences for your benefit), tell us you are going to reject that unanimous advice because you "must be hardcore" and then have a flounce?
sex after your ERPC !!!!! I was too devastated to think of sex after both my ERPC's I was trying to get my head around what I had lost, but if you feel that desperate good luck to you
Gail as I had a natural miscarriage I continued bleeding very heavily for about a week afterwards, we're talking the level of blood loss that makes you unable to leave the house for the first days. So obviously, there was no way we could do anything of the sort. I can get consolation sex, but having had no experience of an EPRC, I assumed the results would perhaps be quite bloody.
Incidentally, if you're surprised me and the other ladies needed time off after the lap, to put stuff in perspective I went back to work as soon as the blood loss left up a little after the mc. That was after 3 days.
I just asked you to report back, because I was curious to see whether you would be able to manage. Considering you called yourself "hardcore" in the context of sex after EPRC and were aiming for gritted teeth sex post-lap. I don't think you have any right to be offended by our comments. Each to their own.
Okay, you obviously made me feel weird by your response gail but meanwhile I think euro and buzzy have confirmed what I thought.
gail you asked for advice and you got it, if you don't like the answers well don't ask the question I don't think it has anything to with being 'hardcore' its your choice, but the joy of these threads is that everyone is entitled to their opinions and that is what you got, perhaps you need to ask yourself why you are so desperate to be having sex straight after a medical procedure, good luck
lemon you're lovely and don't let anyone tell you anything different < wags finger>
gail YES I find it creepy that you had sex after an ERPC!!! There are other ways to express love without having sex. You asked the ladies on here about their experiences and you got their advice, life would be boring if all thought the same
A bit of a funny day on here! Having done some mumsnet detective work I can conclude that gail is actually viv, apparently returning to mumsnet after being banned for some reason. Have I got that right gail? Seems pretty odd to come back on thread and pretend to be new, only to get annoyed with people that you've been chatting to for some time. Makes me wonder why you were banned in the first place. This is a really lovely thread that has provided a lot of us with support and encouragement and I would hate to see it become less welcoming because of things like this.
Okay. Rant over. I am otherwise in a very good mood as it is now half term. Hoorah!!
gail or viv actually makes alot of sense I have a right and an entitlement to comment on topics on this thread as I see fit, perhaps you should have kept that little gem about the ERPC to yourself.
madness you are right about the thread I thought half term was after the 15th?? But yay to being off work I have had a half day, and there is something quite satisfying about finishing the day at lunchtime
..and there's me just enjoying the 2ww sex ban
Sorry ladies viv has name changed many a time on MN after offense caused and returned to threads after name changes. I would have felt like a shit mentioning it before, as everyone was getting along and none of that occurred on this thread. Sorry though.
Loves to all.
Probably different dates up north buzzy. Half days are lovely. i always feel like I'm being very cheeky being out in town in the early afternoon
Oh, I know that feeling of being a bit cheeky. I really like wondering around town whenever I am off. Particularly something like a Tuesday morning... Although I am always surprised by the number of people out and about!
How are you doing?
We weren't banned by our clinic. I've read mixed advice on the internet. We haven't seen any action since a couple of days prior to EC. I had so much traffic up my chuff lately I really wasn't up for any more! But my libido was crazy yesterday though and I really think I would have gone for it if I hadn't ended up working until 11pm!
anyway back on track.............
euro and doll how are you both feeling, one more week to go
rabbit how are you feeling today
critter I love these poetry trips you have, they sound great
gin hope you are starting to feel like yourself
pout can I ask if you have to mix your drugs up first?? I might need some advice when mine arrive
well I was planning to get lots done this week but work has been crazy, next week just as crazy, I need to call Shehata to get him to write me a prescription soon
I am keen for the meet up but have just realised that I have agreed to meet up with some friends on the 23rd of this month, hopefully it won't clash
x posts with a few people
madness I only know its half term here when certain colleagues are off I had to come home and wait for my bathroom delivery. I did let Kayla out onto the balcony to try and keep Pam and Pete away as they clearly have designs to try and nest again
lemon I remember being down Oxford St one Wednesday morning and being surprised about how many people were there, I kept thinking my taxes are paying for these people to shop down here, in reality they were most likely tourists
And everyone else on their odd day off. It is a lovely luxury feeling. Maybe I should plan one, work has been really busy and I have my last assignment for the course that finished last week due in on Sunday, so NO time. But soon, I hope!
And whoosh, gail disappears.
buzzy I'm a bit sad. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely certain that my little embie didn't make it. I had been having "symptoms" and felt madly hormonal up until I went to bed yesterday. I just think it is all over now. It was 9dpo when it all went wrong in November after a week of nausea and symptoms.
I have been rubbish at organising the meet up (although tbf to myself, I have had quite a lot on recently ). I will try to get round to messaging those who were interested over the next few days.
A friend warned me today that a mutual old schoolfriend is having IVF at the moment, and her OTD is... tomorrow. So she is 4 days ahead of me (there used to be a gang of 5 of us at school, so that is 2 of the 5 cycling at the same time and another one who already has IVF babies!). She posted something on FB last night about there being "one more sleep to go" so the mutual friend felt that she had to warn me. I doubt she would be posting that if she wasn't sure it had worked. Meh. I'm rather sick of being left behind. And this would leave me as the last of the 5 of us without kids.
I'm always amazed how many people are around whenever I am off during the week too. I guess you have SAHMs, shift workers, restaurant workers, performing arts types, retail where you get a day off in the week but have to work the weekend.
Hope you are doing ok.
euro I actually was given a sex ban this time and I'm making the most of it along,by the way, with a smoking ban (this is the middle east after all). last time I just got a raised eyebrow about "working outside the home".
buzzy thanks for asking, I feel ok, I mean it's impossible to say, I just push it out of my mind.
Thinking about rabbit though. You ok? Any thoughts following Mr Big? I have no experience of IUI or clomid to add, in brief I didn't see enough reason to try, but that's just me.
euro and * doll* its not over till the bit*h arrives. For some reason it feels like a long 2ww and I'm not even in it I suppose its best to get a heads up on the friend
Oh euro hang on in there. We all know how hard it is to keep the faith but your friend having a positive outcome doesn't mean that you won't too.
I am also fascinated my critter's poetry weekends. Wish that I could come to the states as well. I don't think I'll make it back to North America until maternity leave chooses to grace us with her presence. Then I can justify a long haul flight to visit family
Back to the being out and about on a weekday topic.... When I was recovering from the surgery and infection last year the GP told me to go for a walk every day to get my strength back up. One day I walked down to the chemist to pick up a prescription and realised that I was off on sick leave, standing in a queue beside the methadone window. I live in a colourful neighbourhood to say the least!!
Critter - how confusing, I wonder if you have indeed ovulated. Ovary twangs occur pre and post ovulation. Sorry for this gross question but would you say your cm has gone very creamy since the possible ovulation date - that can be a good sign that ovualation has been and gone. Nothing wrong with looking toward IVF. I am of the opnion that both natural ttc and ivf / iui can work along side each other. IVF does not have to mean last chance saloon if that makes sense.
On that note Nelly - did you say your cycle were a bit more fertile since IVF? Crossing everything for you.
Doll - I have been thinking of you lots. It is normal to expect the worst and it is mostly what I do too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about ttc and one day drawing a line. But now is not that time. Good luck. xx
Buzz - your positive thinking is catching. How exciting to think adoption as well as IVF is on the cards. There is no way you won't be a mum!
will post again
Oh did I miss some fireworks today? Is this the Viv that posted for a few days, when I was away I think? OK I'm kind of glad it's turned out this way because the posts were a bit antagonistic, just subtly so. What a weird thing to do .
euro I hope you are wrong! It's too early to know for sure - just look at Joy. (Where is Joy by the way? Still really really hoping all is well there. And all the Grads, who promised not to leave us .) And doll too - it's not over yet.
I am being a bit rubbish at keeping up with the thread at the moment. I am convinced my period is about to arrive. I'm on CD21, after a 40 day cycle last time (post IVF). I have had a tiny bit of brown spotting since day 17. Normal cycles are about 27 days so who knows what the blazes this is.
Anyway it is Friday night and there is about to be opened, hurrah. Not sure I'll have much chance to check in over the weekend, so I hope it's a good one
Guys if you are feeling like getting 'kreativ', there are lots of places that do similar writing retreats in the UK. Arvon courses are amazing, in particular - they do them for all sorts of writing courses - not just poetry - food writing, plays, memoir, children's books etc. Quite pricey but really wonderful - I'd totally recommend them. They tend to be 5 days - Monday evening to Saturday morning.
euro and doll - I totally agree with buzzy, hang in there - this is a really long 2ww and it must be incredibly stressful. But it isn't over yet. I wish I could say something to make the horrible wait easier.
madness at methadone counter!
Waves to all - can't wait for the weekend to start, it's been a long week!
Sarlat I most definitely didn't say it was more fertile . Oh no no no no no, I'd never make such a sweeping assumption. I did however possibly say I had way more CM, which in normal, bus-dwelling insta-differs, might be cause for celebration. . But as per post above, I think in retrospect my cycles are fucked.
xpost sar and nelly
nelly hello! I know what you mean... those earlier posts could be a tiny bit odd in tone... like when you meet someone who seems really nice but you instinctively feel as though you don't want to get on the wrong side of them. Hurrah for Friday night wine, that's going to be me in a few hours! I'm toying with the idea of giving up booze for Lent again. Your spotting sounds very interesting. It sounds like something is going on - don't want to fuel mentalling but I would be very curious about that. Have you had any other symptoms apart from feeling PMTy?
sar how are you my lovely? You must be on a 2ww now. Very interesting about the ovary twangs - I did not know that they could occur post ovulation. My CM hasn't really changed - but to be honest, there hasn't been a lot of it. Every now and then I will feel like some has appeared and scuttle to the loo to see if it's EW, but nada. I think I will just keep temping for another month and then probably go back to the doctor in mid-to late March to get started on the Pill in preparation for an April/May cycle, if nothing's happened by then. In a way, it's been good, because I think I'll be more private about IVF this time round - not with you guys of course, but I won't talk about having it to my friends/family/colleagues like I would have if I'd done it in January. Because I had a period, everyone thinks we're going to try naturally for six months, so I will have breathing space without every conversation revolving around it.
sar I am keen on the idea of adoption, I'm not keen on the process, but needs must so best to get on with it, I believe it is alot easier than it used to be, and I have no intention on waiting until after IVF, I imagine most couples still try even though they have started the adoption process, I like the idea of being a mum to a child that isn't mine, giving them a better family life and future
critter how you deal with these cycles I just don't know, what a total pain. You always seem very good humoured about it. The breathing space it a good thing. IVF is enough to deal with without managing the expectations of lots of other people.
wanders in scratching head at what the feck has gone off on here today I saw the opening gambit about sex the day after a lap (which did make me raise an eyebrow & snort a bit) but then British Gas came to fix the boiler and I missed the rest. I am sorry lemons and buzzy if you were offended/upset. lemons you handled your MC with so much grace and strength and I was genuinely in awe of you.
Was it really viv ? Why??? Must admit when she arrived I did think it bad form to have the hump because a former thread buddy had got her BFP
euro don't lose hope yet. Who knows what is going on in there.
Nelly Snap on the feeling like AF is about to arrive anytime. Some cycles are just plain strange!
doll at the sex ban.
buzzy You have me worried about your question about mixing drugs. I have been shown how to do the Bureselin (sp?) and there's no mixing, just drawing it up straight from the bottle. I had a quick run through the pen thing too and there was no mention of mixing. Just adjusting the pen to the required dosage and stick yourself with it
madness I did laugh at your uplifting stroll.
Waves to critter and sarlat and everyone
buzzy it's really not at all common to TTC and do an adoption process, as you know you certainly couldn't do it openly. Actually I saw a thread on the same subject if you are interested recently.
Hi pout at least normal service has resumed here
[shocked] all the 'interesting' posts have been deleted. How will we explain to the 10 plussers who missed it??
I am also able to confirm that Gail is Viv. I diplomaticaly disagreed with comments on another thread recently. Viv / Gail, if you are reading this, I hope things work out for you, I really do but I think you might need to consider how you approach / respond to comments. And I genuinly mean that in a nice way.
OOO I love odd days off work like Tuesday monrings. Its an alien world that I don't belong to. And if feels like a discovary.
Euro - don't feel sad, feel glad. You stepped up to the challenge and you are doing great. The 2ww is a draggy time from the land that stood still. Not fun. So symptoms have dissapeared? Do you normally get these symptoms? You previously mentioned scratchy womb feelings - now in my very humble opinion and based on when I was really pregnant, that is implantation. I wonder if it may be worthwhile having a second lap? I am assuming you had a hsg which I guess was clear? But could you be like me and have mild endo with no symptoms? Or maybe something else minor which could be corrected? Just some food for thought as it sounds like the sperm and eggs are able to meet and float down the tube / in the petri dish but some chemical interaction is interfering. Were you ever offered a lap? Sorry your friend is also going through IVF - no pressure, hey? Its great that you have been pre-warned. But none of this means that this cycle worn't work out - lots and lots of hope for you, I promise. And my final thought of the day - have you ever heard of 'early pregnancy factor'. Sorry for just introducing everyone to more unhelpful menkuling. It is a chemical that newly fertilised eggs / ovaries give off before implantation and studies show its presence at 2 - 3 dpo is linked to pregnancy outcomes. I wonder if that accounts for some of the symptoms you have been getting around 2-3dpo?
Rabbit - gosh my lovely - what a head spinner. Lots to think about. Let me let out a big shouty scream along side you. And now may I offer you a bite of my hazelnut kit kat? Hope that feels better? IVF or clomid for 6 months - now never having been a clomid chick myself I am not up on its magical properties. Is there strong evidence that it works for women who already ovulate? Other ladies here have suggested that it may not be a helpful option. I can understand why you wanted to dabble with it though for just 3 months. I guess the research points to 6 months being the average success rate then? I think in your shoes I would ask myself this - why don't I want IVF yet - is it because my instincts are strongly telling me I don't need IVF? Or is it because I am upset / scared (who wouldn't be) by the procedure. I think when you have that answer, you may start to build a plan of action. I know you may not think I am making much sense but this is sort of how (on reflection) delt with things. For example, the first horrible consultant diagnosed me with 2 blocked tubes and felt any surgery would likely result in 1 if not both tubes out. The HSG and my own medical history said otherwise and I clung on to that instinct and refused to allow her to operate. Fast forward a few months to the nice new consultant, we talked about lap in a diagnostic way and with out the pressure to give consent for tubal removal. Only when these conditions were met that satisfied what my instincts were telling me was I prepared to have the op - and the results have been beneficial. I hope I am not suggesting to reflect on something that you already are doing (apologies if I am) but I think knowing the root cause of wanting IVF / not wanting IVF enables better decisons and less dilema internally. If your instincts tell you don't need IVF, then approach other options. For me, I was OK with IVF as I felt it would up my chances but didn't want to be without natural chances and this was always the sticking point for me - to remove tubes / not to remove tubes, it drove me insane. Did you tell your consultant about the chemical pregnancy? Did he offer any suggestions as to why you are not yet pregnant? Did you have the spotting pre - big op? Why are they suddenly so interested in it now? I know the fear of the scan is awful when they check stuff out. I very much doubt they will find a new blob. Did your mum have spotting when she was your age? It could be a normal thing too. How are you feeling today about everything? Really feel for you. If I am talking utter bollicks, please feel free to ignose. But I so want you to be happy - you 100% deserve to be.
Euro and Rabbit - sorry for all the questions - you know I am a daft old bat
Gin - are you a little better honey - remember you are my FET hommie!
Went to the clinic yesterday to get the FET ball rolling again. We nearly fell off our chairs as we met a nice nurse who listened and allowed me to have a moan and was positive and lovely and everything. She has actually had IVF herself. She now has 2 childern following 4 rounds of IVF. She was only given a 5% success rate due to her age she said. I have no ideas how old she is. Straight away she discussed a natural FET cycle. Again I was shocked. Her response was "why wouldn't you do a natural cycle" and in her opinion the results (once the embryo is thawed and deemed developing again) are negligible between medicated and natural - hooray. She also worked out a work friendly timetable for having scans. Just not use to this type of care. Then we did a baseline scan. I was 5 dpo yesterday (ideal time to scan as it will be about this time next month when (hopefully, please God) an embie gets popped back. My linning was 10mm and the left ovary had a cyst from the ruptured egg. In fact it was swollen rather than deflated at 19.7 mm so classed as a corpus leteum cyst which I understand to be harmless. The nurse also agreed that stage 1 tubal disease did not mean natural conception is not a possibility - but does take longer.
Today (6dpo) I have felt odd indeed. Had strong ovary pains for the last few days and some stingy and quick womb feelings. I have also had an achey womb for the last 2 hours. I am not getting ahead of myself. Althought this feels a bit new and quite strong, I am now aware that I have a much larger ovary cyst than I normally have and I am on my first post lap cycle - so things are bound to feel mixed up. Its also too early for implantation I think. Anyhow, trying not to be too menkul.
Hello to all - enjoy the weekend.
how do you all know it is the same person ??? viv/gail ???
sar implantation is usually around this time dpo 6-7 so you never know, glad you had a good appointment, it makes such a difference when you deal with a helpful friendly person
pout it sounds you have the same drugs combo that i tried back in the summer - burserelin to downreg and then the gonal f pens to stim (although I never got that far). I found them very simple to use. I did it by myself for the first couple of days and then got Mr Euro to prep the injection, mainly to make him feel involved in the process, so it didn't just seem like the IVF was something I was doing.
madness I can imagine the chemists around here being a bit like that on weekdays...
sarlat thanks for your thoughts. I had never heard of early pregnancy factor - will go away and
frantically google look. I was never offered a lap, but I have often wondered about endo. I had enormously painful and pretty heavy periods for years (bizarrely better since ttc). Maybe it is something I should look into doing privately, although given my terror of being put under, it would require some strength. 10 mins for EC was bad enough!
Natural FET sounds great. Regardless of the outcome of this cycle, I am convinced that natural IVF has merits. Why put your body through more than it needs to go through? That nurse sounds amazing.
I reckon the post-ov ovary twinges are the follies/corpus lutuem shrinking. I get them too. But they are nowhere near as strong as what must be the growing twinges leading up to ov.
buzzy Gail has been deleted now so not easy to show you! When viv first joined us I got the impression from some other threads that she was prone to name changing and saying things to get a response from people. Some of the stuff she was posting here was pretty outlandish I thought as well. Made me question how honest she was being. When gail turned up today I did a search for all of the posts under that name and she was on another thread saying that she had name changed because she'd been banned. I think she's just attention seeking and itching for a fight . Oh well - all back to normal mundane loveliness now
ah I don't look at many other threads although I do like the AIBU ones and I didn't realise you could search peoples post
bit of a techno phobe yes she did say some um interesting things, back to normal it is then
You're a super sleuth madness!
I sometimes wish we could pull up the drawbridge and make this a private group. I don't really like it that there will be lots of people reading but not posting. I was never an Internet poster type person until I was so desperate to chat to others going through this. I love this group, but not the public sharing aspect.
Rabbits, I can't offer any useful advice on your dilemma im afraid, Clomid has never been an option for us, I guess it depends on whether you're ready for ivf and all it entails.
I'm so tired, off to bed now. I'll try and post over the weekend. Waves to all.
I am finished wth my rather shitty, long commute fortnight. Huzzah! We have been out for wine and tea and I'm glad to be home and working locally for the foreseeable future.
I'm so thankful for this thread and your help with my initial mental about options. After a think and talks it is my decision to pass up clomid and take my nhs ivf round which has been provisionally accepted, clear scan, tests etc to be confirmed. I have, with the hep of peanut butter and hot chocolate, gained 4 pounds this month!!!! So fingers crossed fsh is within boundaries. It is not likely to be anywhere near 4-6 weeks as I want to elect for a particular clinic with my pct, which will take time. I also need the tests and am away in march. So, most likely we are looong at June July and that is good with me. I have no idea why I can't self fund IUI in April/may but will be pursuing that with pct too. I don't think clomid is right for me. I want immune testing as my recurrent viral illnesses at implantation that vsnish with my period and allergies raise concerns that I'd like, for peace of mind, to follow up. I did mention I had a positive test day 35 and my cons said it counted for nothing. Which felt a bit poo, given it is the nearest I've been to creating anything.
sar I am wishing this to be your time. I do not want to fuel mental but a good friend of ours conceived after 4 years after removal of minor endo on the first cycle. It happens.
critter I second that you are sunshiny about your long cycles, it must be challenging. We might end up being cycle buddies. Though I'd bet on your horse over my lame mule!
euro you just can't tell. I'm so sorry a friend is cycling at the same time as you. But she won't be able to tell either, though I'd do exactly what you're doing and presume shed do it. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's not over yet.
Today on here has thrown me. I dashed in, during a moment at work to advise what I thought was a stranger with a slightly deluded idea about what a lap entailed. I log back in tonight to find it was viv, and that her posts have been deleted. If this is true, I think you've all been rather restrained as I feel quite pissed off by it. In this thread (and not elsewhere on MN I must say, if I choose to post in aibu I deserve what I get) but HERE is my safe place in the world.I've never been made to feel unwelcome, only treated with kindness and respect. And I've give the same back. I am quite shocked that someone who had talked here for a while would pull such a trick and I'm glad the posts have been removed, whatever they said. A laparoscopy is surgery. It hurts. It fills your body cavity with gas that can't escape. You have stitches. I couldnt roll over in bed or lie on my stomach. You bleed, and in my case, you find out shocking news. Maybe for some, sex after all of this is OK. Bt for the majority of women it wouldn't be, as it wouldn't be after and erpc. I think it is grossly insensitive to suggest that this is about being 'Hardcore' what the fuck does that mean anyway. As you can tell, this has made me cross. And I don't care if this post causes you offence, you've been well cared for here and it feels trampled on.
And breathe. I've missed people. I will double check this over sheepfile x
Cross post with madness and mrsden. It has made me !
Sorry rabbit. I don't like to see you upset . This is still a safe place but we need to be aware that it's public and not everyone will share our views. I think dealing with a few wing nuts is worth it for all of the advice and support that I get from the rest of you lovelies
Well done for making a decision on ivf!!! June/July is a good timeframe to get your head around it properly and we'll be here to hand hold and offer you an ivf trophy (medals for a lap, definitely need some trophies for ivf!)
Rabbit, I feel the same. This is a supportive, kind thread. Us regulars are only ever helpful and understanding. This is our safe place. No room for wind ups.
I found the lap to be a Real trauma. I'm not over it yet. It was not a little op for me.
I have been cross with some of Viv's comments for a few weeks - but I tend to be overly diplomatic in case I have the wrong end of the stick. But based on todays comments (what I think has been said) and how this has made you lovely ladies feel...I am very .
Not acceptable at all.
Den - I agree that the lap and all it entails IS a big deal. I also dread to think what the infection risks are by dtd the day after. Sorry you have been feeling a little bit horrible.
Rabbit - I like your plan. I am pleased you are comfy with your decision. I would say the past BFP is significant - you know you can get to blasto stage at least. Take medical advice but mix that with your own internal wisdom is what I say. Glad you have time away to do nice things.
Madness - hope thinks are settling down for you with symptoms and drugs leading up to IVF.
Nelly - interesting about the spotting. Hope things settle down.
Euro - let me know what your findings are.
pout oh that sounds good, some women had to mix things together which sounded like a faff, I'm hoping for straight up shoot them up, I wasn't offended about the comment, I just thought it was an odd thing to mention and that it was the sort of comment that would get a response, she always sounded unhinged to me to be honest and I did read her comments on the 40+ sight
doll the joy of going overseas for IVF is that they are less likely to know
rabbit I did wonder what had happened to her and I did think it was a bit odd that she didn't sort of make any introductions when she came as Gail but don't let her bother you. Sounds like a good plan for you
Buzzy Do you know when you will be starting your IVF cycle? It would've been good to have a cycle buddy
mrsd I am sorry to hear that you are feeling the effect of your lap still. I really do wonder whether some surgeons are more skilled than others when it comes to these things.
sarlat you totally amaze me with how much you know about all this. The early pregnancy factor is really very interesting. It is nice to think that maybe, perhaps not everything has been in my head, over thinking or wishful thinking.
madness Am uber impressed at your sleuthing
rabbit I'm so glad that you have come to a decision that is right for you. Good for you with the weight gain though I am a little alarmed when I read how you did it. I have been drinking cocoa and eating Reeses Peanut Butter Cups all week
I'm really sorry that some of you are so shaken by the interloper. I suppose I had also forgotten that this is a public forum and any number of people can be reading and, in this case posting. It is a shame this has happened and I really hope it doesn't change the dynamic of the thread or God forbid mean that we lose some of you ladies. Battens down the hatches and will only allow people to leave who have a positive piss stick I know it might sound strange and obviously some people like viv don't get it, respect it, or realise just how this thread saved my sanity but I see here as a place I chat to my friends - real people, with real feelings. It is quite astonishing that somebody can get bizarre kicks from "playing" on a thread of this nature.
mrsd Like you the public nature of the Fred bothers me sometimes too. From time to time I remember it's a public forum and worry about being too candid or revealing too many details about my life when really my inclination is to over share and bore you all senseless with every little detail
pout I have to call 2 months before my cycle starts so beginning of March, thats when they'll give me my regime, but actual EC is booked for the 6th May, it would be nice to have a buddy though
Oh bugger buzz I'm a little bit ahead of you. That's a shame we won't be in synch. Though apparently, if I have embryos left over, I get a funded frozen cycle so maybe we might still be cycle buddies yet
I've been swearing to myself I'd delurk and find some people to talk to about all this for a while... and then I always thing that maybe this month will be it so I don't... and then it isn't. Anyway, I saw about encouraging delurking and I thought I would try it. I don't know if you will think I am right for your thread, so I will waffle a bit and if you say push off, off I will push.
I'm 29, he's 31 ("young" "don't worry" "these things take time"). Been TTC for over a year (picking NYE to start trying makes remembering dates easy) but as we are temporarily (probably, sort of, it's been six months and it's complicated) living away from the UK we haven't had any sort of doctor's visits, apart from a 'fertility MOT' (private) before we left which assured us the basics were OK (sperm, ovaries in place, ovulation had occurred). We're also living on savings so don't really have the cash for OPKs, tests, etc so although I'm all for throwing some science at the problem, what I've got is observation, shagging and a thermometer - I've just started temp charting this cycle, which means I'm probably about a month and a half out from realising I'm doing it wrong and starting over.
This last year has been really rough (for reasons not due to TTC), & I feel like we're trapped, handcuffed by circumstance and tied down by TTC as it means that pretty much everything I want to do (beyond 'stay up too late reading MN') is ruled out by one or the other.(Actually I think one of the TTC tips was get plenty of sleep? ) So I am grouchy! And hopeful! And sure it will never happen, and weepy because babies are so cute and I'll never have one but this time is the charm so let's have sex right now... all at once. Fun times.
Anyway, thank you for the thread, it cheers me up to know that I'm not alone, the path is well (if unwillingly) trodden and there are kind people along the way.
hi midnight you are welcome and may your stay but short (because you happily hop off to a board to talk about pregnancy and babies, of course). There are lovely ladies here, many of whom had been here for a good while and know each other well, you will get alot of support. You may have seen there was a bit of a wobble on this thread yesterday caused by a new person/name changer reminding that this board is a public place, please play nice <protective>
Do you have a fertility friend account? Use it for temping and recording all manner of observations to drive yourself crazy (the free account is easily good enough) There are free online 'tutorials' there too. Sorry if you know all this. Also if you can order from amazon where you are, you could consider some cheapo OPKs - you can get 50 for 6 quid or so? Something like that. Unless your cycles are crazy, 50 should be 6 cycles worth or so. Anyway, just little things that may help.
Good weekend all.
WTAF was going on yesterday. I was actually reading and thinking who's this weirdo who's just turned up for advice and then started lashing out. It was all a bit AIBU rather than lovely 10 + behaviour. Lemon and Buzzy sorry you ladies seem to have bigger the brunt of it. I didn't have time to post as I was caught up in some work stuff but was going to get involved because we didnt DTD after either MC for some time a) because I was grieving and b) because of the risk of infection and c) because I'm
clearly not "hardcore"
Rabbit I think you're right to be i didn't see it turn nasty and came back to see loads of deleted posts. It is a safe place here. I think "that" poster has some very serious issues - it shone out of previous posts which made me feel very uncomfortable and actually stopped me posting here. Please don't let one disturbed person ruin it for you. I think you're a fan bunch and the fact that she was challenged, presumably reported and sent on her ways says loads. I hope you're ok. I can't believe they threw 6 months of clomid or straight to IVF at you - what a massive decision. I'm glad that you've decided and hope that a BFP turns up in the interim :-) I was sorry to read about your ED the other week and I very much doubt that you have damaged yourself. As you say you have loads of EWCM, regular periods and you are super healthy now. You're time will come.
Euro and Doll I've got fingers crossed on both hands - euro you get my left and doll my right - that they'll be valentine BFPs on the thread next week :-) As for symptoms, I had none in the 2ww of this pregnancy but I did have some in previous ones. There are tonnes of people who have no symptoms from conception to popping the thing out - bar the massive tummy. So don't go worrying about symptoms now - you never know and look what happened to the lovely joy. I really hope this is it for you two. If it is, I'll virtually sing the cheesy boyz 2 men "and now we've come...to the end of the road..." song because that's what I think about this thread and being up the duff and having TTC over with. I always think we should do best bits like the end of big brother.
As you can tell I'm AWAKE early but in a waffley, cotton wool brain mode.
Critter your poem retreats always sound amazing. There are some lectures over here at the School of Life that I'd like to do but we have the bastard house to finish. We're off to Paris in a few weeks though. So mustn't complain.
Muddy I am HERE! All deluked and name checking and everything! Really I haven't bothered because I have no exciting news unless I tell you about bargain hunting furniture online and mr P reversing into a lovely young lady (really want to say chav but can't bring myself to...oh... I just did ) in the van in an IKEA car park we hired to pick up our new second hand Falcon Range last weekend. Hope the post wedding come down isn't too bad.
Sar good luck in your au natural with spring cleaned tubes 2ww. I have my right foot toes crossed for you :-) I'm glad you stuck to your guns. Our instincts are powerful and if I go against my gut Its almost always the wrong thing to do for me - even if I can be disproven by the rational thought of others. Glad your new job is going well too.
MrsD I'm glad they got you sorted but really sorry the op was an ordeal.
Pout hope you are ok. Your box of drugs sounds a bit scary but I like the one thing at a time approach and the hiding behind the salad
crumble When do you start? I've been looking at lots of bits of furniture ripe for up cycling this week (I have my own power tool now - a detail sander and have cut my up cycling teeth on our old, old wooden wood worm ravaged stairs - kitchen table - pah! Easy!) and thought of you (in
a completely non weirdo way) whilst I was doing it. How is your craft empire?
Can I also add for IVF ladies that my aunt had 2 failed rounds where they couldn't collect any eggs (she was about 37 ) and was told by the consultant that they would give it one more go but he didn't think there was any hope. She didn't get to round three as she feel naturally. They suspect the drugs stimulated everything. As my whole family helpfully pointed out in my down days - keep shagging - yeah cos I hadn't thought of that myself (it always felt a bit Ron Burgandy "stay classy" but there we go)
Right waves to you all. You're all fabulous and if I spot any dirty play I'll join in with the shooing next time. No one upsets my 10 plus ladies <stern> Sorry I wasn't around when it turned nasty yesterday xxxx
I'll apologise for the appalling typos in my post - on my phone - dammit! X
I hope you will find this a nice supportive thread. We are all a little rattled by some posts yesterday. We all expose a lot of our own vulnerability on here, which is why I think a few antagonist posts have left a mark. Hopefully by the end of the day they will all be forgotten.
I'm Euro (37), Mr is also 37 (but not for much longer). On my 28th cycle of ff (futile fucking). Diagnosed as "unexplained". Previously tried 3XLetrozole, 2xIUI and 0.5xIVF (cycle cancelled by us because of intolerable side effects to the drugs). Currently on the 2ww after our first natural IVF cycle and noting that time seems to be standing still...
princess I hope you are doing fine and that project up cycling goes well. Have you moved out of the IL's place yet?
Nope. We're still here. Gritting teeth. The kitchen floor is in, the bathroom floor going in tomorrow and all finished and grouted next week. Then we can get the god damn shower in. Another 3 weeks here I reckon. 6 months living with the in laws is too much. I'm at the "acceptance" stage now...
Good to see you're dritting teeth in a much more sensible way princess not long now. And hurrah for up-cycling.
Re: gail/viv I was not particularly hurt, but felt a bit vulnerable and over exposed when she was pretending we were mad - so I forgot about the infection thing, even though we had very clear instructions from the clinic on that front.
I also forget the thread is public, but I like newbies to join us when they feel the need - huge welcome midnight, I too hope it is short and sweet -. It has been a bit of a safe haven where I have shown more of my feelings than in any other place, except counselling really. But she's gone now, and hopefully won't come back. It is good people challenged her, I just wondered whether I was mad...
Waves at all the others, I am feeling ROUGH. Had a TTC unfriendly night of lots of raw meat and wine with SB, things are feeling good again.
Hi ladies, been staying away to save you from hearing about my anxieties and woes. I now have seen that I have missed a bit of drama on here and damn it has been deleted so I don't know what the hell has been said. This thread is nearly 2 years old and that's the first nasty incident we have had which speaks volumes about what a lovely place this is.
Firstly Euro/doll - have been thinking about you both and I'm sure time is dragging. I am keeping everything crossed.
Sar - I also am desperately hoping that a post lap miracle happens for you. I have heard a number of stories of this happening.
Rabbit - goodness ivf so soon but for what it's worth I think it's sensible to go for it if you feel ready. As far as I can work out clomid is great with ovulatory probs and pretty hopeless otherwise. And if you have the opportunity to get immunes tested, I think that would be great.
I'm on my phone and am going to check other posts, I can't remember what has been going on.
AFM - I have found the last 2 weeks torturous but especially this Last week. All was seemingly going ok but on Tuesday my beta hadn't risen that much. That night I started bleeding. Next day bloods showed beta was hardly moving so went in for a scan. It showed both embryos had implanted and there were yolk sacs but they couldn't see why I was bleeding. But they immediately put me on ivig. Thursday hcg beta still had barely risen. And now yesterday they hadn't moved at all. I have been told it's not great news. I have to go in for more bloods and a scan tomorrow and I am fully prepared to hear the worst. I have found the stress of daily bloods and waiting for the phone call too intense. I had to wait until 7pm last night for them to call me with the bad news.
The only thing I can hope for is that one of the embryos has died and hence why beta has stopped rising & perhaps it will suddenly rise tomorrow but they have barely moved since Tuesday. Plus I have no symptoms any more, no twinges or anything. Andt progesterone is dropping too evening though I am on 6 doses a day. I'm not holding my breath. I've become a cry baby. I sat and sobbed all night and this morning. I am trying to prepare myself and hoping it will be a natural m/c and hope I don't have to have a erpc.
Oh Joy. No no no. I will keep hoping for miracle good news. This is so very very shitty. Please don't feel you have to save us from your drama, it's what we are here for. But it's a very private thing, so if you can't update on here, we totally understand and will quietly root for you in the background. I so so hope it turns out ok. Huge hand squeezes x
Oh no, joy. Hang in there, hand holding on offer. Venting here is on offer. And letting yourself sob, is also fine. Fingers crossed it is only one of them. Thinking of you!!
Been reading this week but not finding time to post - not anything exciting, just a silly workload - but I didn't come on here to moan about work. I'd be moaning a hell of a lot more if I didn't have any
Joy hang in there. The day by day tests and waiting is utterly traumatic and I'm not surprised you have been sobbing. As Lemon says, it is OK and you need to get the feelings out. We are all thinking of you and rooting for you and your embies. Huge hugs.
Well I missed yesterday's drama too. I saw the first few posts from our interloper but then picked back up again to see lots of deleted posts
and being nosey am cross I can't read them. WTAF? There was always something a bit edgy about that poster but nothing specific I could have called her on. Now it all becomes clear. The best I can do is think that she is clearly a very troubled and unhappy person but unfortunately has chosen to take that unhappiness out on other people, and in a deceitful and underhand way. I really value the openness of this thread, and if it were not public i would never have found it in the first place, but that level of openness relies on trust. However. As I think Buzzy? pointed out, that's the first nasty experience in several years and that's got to be a good thing, it suggests the majority of people are lovely. You lot certainly are
I'm going to try to catch up but I've got limited time so please forgive me if I don't namecheck everyone (or accurately!)
First Rabbit I didn't post quickly enough to give you the benefit of my clomid wisdom but FWIW I think you've made the right decision. There is no evidence that clomid helps women who are already ovulating. The updated NICE guidelines, which went out for consultation about 6 months ago, no longer recommend its use in unexplained cases for women who are already ovulating. Frankly it made me feel vile - like a 5-month continuous dose of PMT - and I worried about the increased risk of ovarian cancer, though that is very small. It also meant the 2wws were even more traumatic than usual. My options were clomid followed by IVF, though the clomid wasn't a choice. I didn't even take the last dose. Now I feel we could have skipped straight to IVF, though I know I wouldn't have been ready to contemplate it at that point as it was quite early on after we'd seen the consultant and i wanted the hsg to prove there was nothing wrong, and I wasn't allowed that without trying clomid first .
Doll and Euro I've been thinking about you ladies lots despite not finding time to say hello. Hope you are both doing OK. The IVF 2ww was the slowest fortnight of my life. I have literally everything crossed for you, including my legs . Hoping for some good news for you both for valentine's day. That's got to be a good omen surely.
i know there was a chat about feeling ready for IVF, though I can't remember quite who was discussing it (*Madness*?) Again, FWIW I never felt ready. It was just the only option left, other than continuing to try au naturel. I had to force myself to get my head around it but once the cycle started I was caught up in the process and while I sometimes looked up and thought 'what the hell am I doing?' it just felt inevitable. For me the hardest thing was making the decision to get started. Once we had committed to it the cycle itself had its own momentum and just carried us along. It did feel like a conveyor belt during the drugs and scans but during the EC and ET they were very careful not to make us feel like that and I did feel we had personal attention at the most important time.
Sar sounds like you had a brilliant consultation with the nurse. There should be more people like that in the nhs - willing to listen and empathise - I guess it helps a lot that she has been through it herself.
I've got to go now, Mr A is waiting for me to get ready to go out, but I'll be back later to finish catching up with everyone. In the meantime waves and tail feather shakes to all
Joy - oh my goodness, what a rollercoaster of emotions. I am so so sorry to hear that this pregnancy is under threat. What a scary horrible thing to happen. I am crossing everything tightly that the beta rises tomorrow. Please come here to rant and cry or feel free to stay away - as Nelly says we can root for you from a far. Thinking of you and sending positive wishes and the tightest hug ever.
Midnight - welcome, hope things start to look up for you both.
Art and Princess - so glad to hear you are both well. Roll on the next 3 weeks Princess.
Thanks for the good luck vibes from everyone for my post lap and fet updates.
basically she came o ask for advice about having sex the day after her lap, those that have had one said no way they could have done it, she said she would 'grit her teeth and do it then she went onto say that she was 'hardcore' and had had sex the day after her ERPC, which personally I found a bit disgusting but each to their own, she didn't like that it when everyone said that they couldn't have done that.
I didn't think any of it was nasty especially after reading some of the AIBU threads where they really kick off critter is good at poetry I was always good at debating plus I got to use my LC skills
I'm sure we have all read things on here and have thought 'thats not me' or 'thats not what I would personally do', we are all individuals but we come here for support as that is the aim of the thread.
For any lurkers who have not felt able to come on, you are all welcome and this really is a very supportive and informative thread
My own opinion on viv/gail is that she is quite insecure with herself and very needy and selfish. I felt she needed to sort out her personal issues and her relationship instead of obsessing about having a child. Not many people can say they have literally driven someone to drink really she just needed to think before posting, unless she enjoyed getting a 'reaction' who knows
Anyway enough about that........................
joy I am so sorry you are having such a horrendous time with it all, I'm hoping that it will all be alright tomorrow for you, big hugs x
midnight welcome to the thread, taking your temp is a good way to know what is happening, it will take a few cycles to get used to it and to see a pattern emerging. I too felt like you did about feeling trapped by none TTC things and its sometimes hard to see the wood from the trees, I just focus on the here and now and trying to make the most of what we have and remind myself that this will not last forever, just need to hang on in there
princess I do like a bit of upcycling, glad your lovely house will be a family home soon
art you are right in that you probably never feel ready for IVF but I suppose some need to accept it, I know I couldn't have done it last year, I needed time to get my head around it, I'm also glad I didn't have it this month either although May seems ages away.
well cd14 and no +opk yet either a late ovulation or another dud month, will get Barry on the case just to be sure. Barry has been looking at things we can do to pass the time when we are in Brno, which is a good sign, not sure what Kayla is going to make of being 'home alone' for a week, well I should be getting on with a few jobs really. . .
weekend waves to everyone
joy I don't know what to say other than that I was really sad to read that this still isn't plain sailing for you and of course that I so hope that this is just a blip and everything turns out to be okay. Please don't think that you can't come on the thread and talk about this (assuming that you want to of course), you are definitely still one of the gang & I would hate to think of you going through all of this worry thinking that you can't use us as a sounding board. I am thinking of you. X
Hello Princess it's so nice to have you pop back! Exciting that you will be in your new house soon. gives out a medal for living with the ILS for so long
Buzzy Damn and buggeration at AWOL ovulation. Maybe it is just a late month. Did you miss the positive OPK maybe?
Hello lemons You know that I am now imagining you working your way through a joint of uncooked beef
Waves to Art & sarlat
Happy weekend everyone. Proffers some crumble (yes, made some more. And I wonder why I'm fat at the moment!) and some Game of Thrones action.
pout Well I have been known to ovulate around cd16/17 so who knows, to be honest I think my eggs have given up, i'm not really sure if I ovulated last month, oh well
lemon raw meat?? I'm a vege so finding all this meat talk interesting and aren't we all a little mad I certainly feel my sanity slipping
I am doing my nails while admiring the talent of the French and Welsh
perving at the boys in their tight shorts and tops
joy I'm sorry the past couple of weeks haven't been easy for you. I think I speak for all of us on here when I say if we can offer any support, please let us know. You have been a great source of support and comfort on this thread for a long time now.
Thank you for the welcomes!
Doll I will play nice - although I may screw up (particularly with cultural references, I am a little bit foreign) I promise never to be mean.
I do have a FF account (all shiny & new) and am trying to figure it out. Did not know about the Amazon cheapie OPKs - they are v expensive here so I'd abandoned
hope science. Now to inquire about discrete brown envelopes - we are living with my mother, who knows we are TTC, but who doesn't remember me ever crying as a baby, so you can imagine how conversations about conception might go.
Euro Yes, I saw there was a string of deleted posts - it is very jarring & upsetting. I don't understand why people would do this. It's very hard to deal with but I did like Scalzi's response to a persistent hater.
Fingers x-d for a + at the end of your 2ww. If you need to kill some time, I have a lot of procrastinating tools? ;)
Lemon is raw meat bad for TTC? am veggie, so not really got a clue. Food advice seems really contradictory - and when you add recommendations for excema and being veggie I think I should probably only eat white rice and gently steamed broccoli!
buzzy thanks for the uplift I went out & climbed a mountain today (well, walked about 6km of one) and it was beautiful - if I'm a bit trapped, at least it's somewhere pretty.
joy I am hoping for the best possible outcome for you. I really hope you get some good news.
I'm on CD11 -- so just in time for fertile days, my horrible no-good cold is trying to turn into a chest infection. Still, maybe coughing counts as kegels?
Joy I am really so sorry to hear about what you have been going through. Please please keep us up to date on the tests. I am literally keeping everything crossed for you. You were the 1st person I talked to on MN and you are so lovely and helpful and supportive. I really want this to work out for you and Roy. [hugs]
I missed a couple of days and shocked to read whats been going on with Viv/Gail. I am genuinely quite freaked out by it all. Madness I followed your lead and did a search and read some of her (ViV) posts on another thread WOW I am genuinely shocked at some of the things that were posted. I know everyone is different and other MNers seemed to be fine with it but I get the impression on here that people find a thread that fit with their outlook and what they are looking for and its important to be respectful of your support network. I am a newbie on here though so I am still learning. I have found this threat really useful and informative. I really enjoy the supportiveness and its a place where even though I dont know you all in RL, you all understand the anxiety and worries I have about the possibly of never being a mother. Its not something I can really articulate to many people in RL, even those close to me. I have also learnt a lot about AC which I didnt know about and were too afraid to ask the docs.
Midnight Welcome! Sorry you found yourself here. I too am a newbie and these ladies have made me feel v welcomed.
Euro Thanks for the post about NK cells & funny video re MIL. My MIL is really not so bad. She really means well and even if she can be overbearing, I know it comes from a good place. I keep telling myself that. Re NK cells - I wonder if that is something I should bother having tested. I have no reason to think its relevant to me but its just something that plays at the back of my mind. I am assuming there are no symptoms of if you have high NK cells and you only know if you test for it. Is that correct?
Rabbit I saw your post about clomid or IVF. I am not sure of your situation but as the others have said, Clomid is not really a good option for unexplained ie. there is no evidence that it helps at all. I am an unexplained case and have been for more than 3 years and doctors have never suggested Clomid. I did take it for my superovulation IUI though. Sorry you feel pressured. I think IVF is a big step and you really need to be ready for it not just physically but also mentally. Thats one of the reasons why I opted for IUI first despite people (including some MNters not on this thread of course) telling me I am deluded for doing so at my age. I think it really has to be a personal decision. Go with what feels right for you. As for PCTs not funding IVF if you self fund a cycle. I have heard about this situation. I wonder if thats the case in London. Would anyone know how and where I might be able to find out? If my IUIs are unsuccessful I plan to do IVF either self funded or NHS but I have not made a decision as yet (and hoping I dont have to)
Buzzy I know I know my MIL sounds bad but she really is okay. She doesnt get to see Mr Sea a lot and hes been away from his country since he left university so she just misses him. Good luck with the AC and with adoption. I would love to know about the process of adoption as you experience it.
Pout Belated happy anniversary. What lovely idea for gifts. Very romantic. I didnt have the coffee. I did have a nice cup of tea with soya milk instead. Is your aversion to soya milk down to taste or the fact that its bad for TTC? I like almond & oat milk but Soya is still my fav! Good luck with the new cycle!
Gin my OTD is Sat 16th. I have been very good and not been tempted at all to test early. I dont feel any symptoms at all and I try hard not to think about it at all but sometimes my brain gets the better of me. Im forcing myself to have no expectations.
Sarlat I held out no coffee for me so far. So happy to hear you had a good experience with the NHS nurse. I too had a lovely lady who did my IUI. Good luck with the 2WW.
Critter glad to know its not just my MIL that like to pop in for a chat by the bed in the morning. It can get awkward!! I think ovulate can be v changeable, as least thats what I found when I was doing the sticks. Good luck with the IVF if you decide to do it. Have you done one already is that why you know they would put you on a long protocol?
Doll & Euro I think you ladies are testing next week. Im sending positivity your way.
I saw some mention of doing a roundup of everyones situation. That would be really useful for me (and I am sure others who want to delurk). I do wonder how long this thread has been going and how many of you know each other in RL. Hope you don't think I am nosey
Sorry if I have missed anyone. Happy weekend to all.
Euro (37), Mr is also 37 (but not for much longer). On my 28th cycle of ff (futile fucking). Diagnosed as "unexplained". Previously tried 3XLetrozole, 2xIUI and 0.5xIVF (cycle cancelled by us because of intolerable side effects to the drugs). Currently on the 2ww after our first natural IVF cycle and noting that time seems to be standing still...
buzzy About to hit the big four 0 certainly feel or act my age Barry 39 TTC # 1 for 22 cycles, BFP first month April 2011 of trying miscarried @ 6 weeks, BFP in Sept 2011 miscarried @ 10 weeks, 2 x ERPC with 1 perforated uterus thrown in for free. Diagnosed with high NK cells5 x Super Ovulation with Gonal F, one SO with IUI. Fertility MOT showns low ovarian reserve, AHM says 1.1. taken goodness knows how many supplements, DHEA for 3 months, acu for 6 months, 16 cycles without not a whiff of anything and counting, moving onto DE IVF in May overseas, starting the adoption rollercoaster, next year I will be a mum by some means or other
midnight can we ask what kind of foreign person you are, I'm a kiwi
sea so do you live 'abroad' or does MIL??
ooops I meant Idon't act my age, Barry will happily confirm this
Thanks buzzy for the introducing you and Euro.
I'm sorry to hear about your TTC journey esp m/c. That must be v v tough. I can't imagine how painful it must be both physically and esp emotionally .
I see you have had NK cells tested. Do you know if the clinics only tend to suggest this test if m/c has happened? Or could NK cells be present even if you have never been pregnant? I have been reading up about this but the info out there is quite confusing. Is it that the body rejects the pregnancy thinking it's something that needs to be fought off or could it actually prevent someone from becoming pregnant in the 1st place? Any advice or knowledge on this would be gratefully received.
I live in London and MIL lives in Italy. So is an Italian mama hence the coming in bed and babying Mr Sea.
A brief background about me in case it's needed.
Me 35 - no issues, had hsg, lapo, ORT - all clear and good results, low FSH & high AMH. Mr Sea 39 - all normal
Diag with Unexplained Infertility
TTC 3 years & 5 mths
Never been pregnant.
Jan 13 - Had 1st IUI with Clomid & now on 2WW
Hi everyone. I guess its time for me to delurk too. I just started following the thread after Christmas when I had hit the 13 month ttc mark.
So here is a bit about myself, I am 27 and dh is 33. Our MD finally just referred us for more in depth fertility investigations after initial blood work and dhs SA was normal but slightly slow.
So right now we are waiting for my opk to be positive so I can go get my progesterone level tested a week later. Then for AFs arrival so I can get a scan at CD3 and repeat all previous bloodwork.
This seems to be a supportive thread full of nice people that Id like to join.
sea I think it's right that there are no symptoms really, but a lot of us on the Pred thread (that I used to be on when I was taking the steroids) who had high NK cells noticed that we rarely get ill compared to our peers. Most also either had repeated mcs or unexplained infertility.
I went out with an Italian for two years. Luckily mama was pretty hands off...
Hi grouch, welcome.
Welcome sweet and midnight. I too am sorry that you find yourselves here but it is a lovely bunch of ladies with a wealth of experience.
seaview I think that I would find the unexplained non-diagnosis really hard to manage and I totally understand why you would want to try IUI before IVF. And what is this nonsense about "at your age". My clinic keeps telling me how young I am at 34 you asked how long the thread has been going. It started as a 6+ months thread and moved up to 10 months after we all hit a year of TTC I think. I was on it for some time and then disappeared for a year when I needed to spend less time thinking
obsessing about this this stuff. I was welcomed back when I was ready and felt that I needed the support. Roughly that means it's been here just over 2 years I think??
Having been out on a very TTC unfriendly night last night which included a lot of wine, I am feeling rather tender this morning and annoyed that I am awake an hour before I need to be ....... Looking forwar to brunch with friends followed by what will hopefully be a brilliant rugby match where Ireland wallop England (apologies to all of you such of the border but MrM would divorce me if I didn't cheer for his team). Scotland's win yesterday led to a rather impressive number of happy people wandering around the pubs up here which was very nice .
I will add my info....
Me (34) MrM (37) TTC 2 years 8 months, never a whiff of a bfp.
Ovulating normally, SA normal
Stage IV (severe) endometriosis finally officially diagnosed this year.
2x laps, Fallopian abscess drained last year in emergency procedure, right tube and some adhesions removed and cysts drained during most recent lap in December 2012. Much of the endo remains as removing it risked damaging my bowel.
Placed on decapeptyl injections and hrt to shut down ovaries and halt/shrink endo before starting nhs ivf in April.
Off to get myself organised and prepared for brunch with a toddler. Wish me luck! Happy weekend waves to you all.
Euro (37), Mr is also 37 (but not for much longer). On my 28th cycle of ff (futile fucking). Diagnosed as "unexplained". Previously tried 3XLetrozole, 2xIUI and 0.5xIVF (cycle cancelled by us because of intolerable side effects to the drugs). Currently on the 2ww after our first natural IVF cycle and noting that time seems to be standing still...
buzzy About to hit the big four 0 grin certainly feel or act my age Barry 39 TTC # 1 for 22 cycles, BFP first month April 2011 of trying miscarried @ 6 weeks, BFP in Sept 2011 miscarried @ 10 weeks, 2 x ERPC with 1 perforated uterus thrown in for free. Diagnosed with high NK cells5 x Super Ovulation with Gonal F, one SO with IUI. Fertility MOT showns low ovarian reserve, AHM says 1.1. taken goodness knows how many supplements, DHEA for 3 months, acu for 6 months, 16 cycles without not a whiff of anything and counting, moving onto DE IVF in May overseas, starting the adoption rollercoaster, next year I will be a mum by some means or other grin
Seaview 35 - no issues, had hsg, lapo, ORT - all clear and good results, low FSH & high AMH. Mr Sea 39 - all normal. Diag with Unexplained Infertility. TTC 3 years & 5 mths. Never been pregnant. Jan 13 - Had 1st IUI with Clomid & now on 2WW
lemon and SB 34 (nearly and just), TTC since summer 2010, unexplained, done 3x natural IUI, 3x SO IUI. BFP but mc on first SO IUI. Now qualify for IVF, but might stay on IUI for another cycle (or 4...)
Huge welcome to all the delurking newbies. You are very welcome, although sorry you find yourselves here.
Btw are you testing today euro? Waves and tailfeathers. Just an hour of work to do today, so if I get on with it, I have a lot of Sunday to play outside in.
X-post madness. Good luck with lunch with small people. I might organise that for me too, but I am choosing to do so, as they are some of my favourite small people (nephews).
I thought of something really profound I had to say, and now it is gone. So perhaps later. Or not at all
drizz I decided to wait until tomorrow. That will be 12 dpEC, so gives a better chance of a real result. And Mr Euro will be around, unlike on Tuesday morning. The downside will be going to work afterwards, but I know in my heart of hearts that it will be negative, so I am prepared for it.
I got up to do an hour or so of work, planning to get it out of the way first thing, but someone has forgotten to check the document back into our doc management system, so I cannot access it. Grrrr.
Oh joy bloody hell, I really really hope this all works out for you. It seems so unfair that things can still go wrong after an AC bfp. I have everything crossed that the twins pull through. You are with the best place for post bfp monitoring and I am sure they are looking after you, although I can't imagine how stressful all the waiting for tests results must be. I'll be thinking of you today. Do let us know how it goes. I have no idea how you have managed to work through all this. You are a stronger lady than me! X
I see there has been some controversy on Fred with hardcore viv! How v bizarre. Her posts were always a bit edgy and she clearly had some isshoos and possibly a whiff of BS, or maybe I'm just cynical. Anyone know what she did to get banned in the first place?! I'm intrigued! Like you all, I put down my deepest darkest feelings on here and forget that all and sundry can read, other than just my lovely Fred friends. On the other hand, I'd hate to think that anyone struggling with ttc couldn't read the Fred or get support they needed.
euro hang in there. I don't think symptoms/lack of means much, but I know what you mean about knowing deep down. Last time, I just felt pregnant and then it disappeared. I do wish I'd not been tight/scared of more needles and had the pregnancy blood test, as I assume that if my gut feeling was right, there'd have been some hcg present.
doll I hope you are doing ok too. Will you just be peeing on a stick to get your result?
pout the first ivf we did, we bought drugs as and when we needed them, but the second time we got the massive box delivery and it scared me shitless! We still have some leftover drugs in the fridge. My dad may be coming to stay, so I'm going to have to try to hide them some how, whilst keeping them in there! In fact, I'm going to have to do a ttc sweep of the whole house, to hide any paraphanelia (sp?!)... I feel like a ttc junkie!
sar we will indeed be FET hommies! I've just got a positive ov piss stick, so reckon the cycle will start in about 2 weeks. So you 're doing a natural cycle too? Medicated just doesn't make sense! Are you going to take any time off work? I may take a couple of days post transfer, if we get that far.
Welcome midnight and sweet!
lemons and euro, work on a Sunday?! Boo!
madness yay for a boozy night. I am looking forward to the game later (and the short shorts). Enjoy the brunch.
Sounds like you are managing your 2ww wait well sea. A few of us have met in RL, which is nice and I think another meet up is in the planning stages.
buzz I have friends who have kids who've never got a positive ov test! <stamps feet at unfairness, as I regularly get +ives but have never been pregnant> Are you testing just once a day? I'm not sure they are all that reliable and the clinic told me to test twice a day during the FET cycle.
rabbits sounds like you've made a sensible decision re treatment. And we'll all be here to hold your paw through out it.
Waves to artemis and princess. Princess you deserve a medal for living with PILs for so long and with pregnancy hormones!
Waves to everyone I've missed.
I am finally feeling much better and slightly less gloomy about ttc. We had a lovely night away, although I fell asleep at 9pm. Romantic eh? The bed was waaaaay too comfy! I reckon AF will be here in about 2 weeks, so we can crack on with the FET. I just want to get on with everything, so I can move on with my life. In a way, the not knowing if we'll ever get a baby is one of the hardest things. Anyway, hope you are all having lovely weekends. Anyone else fed up of this shite weather? Roll on summer I say!
Oh and can someone add my stats please? I'm on t'i phone.
gin and Dave both 34, ttc 2 years 8 months
too bloody long, male factor sub-fertility - very low count, poor morphology and motility ie 2 good sperms! 2 mild ivf cycles with icsi at Create and now about to start a FET cycle, with the 1 embryo we have frozen.
Hurrah, it is done. Well at least the part I really could not postpone any longer . The other bit will be a job for during my commute to work tomorrow. I have spent about 10 hours doing work stuff this weekend and now it is enough. Outside and exercise.
Exciting you're both moving towards the natural FET cycles sar and gin. I'll keep everything crossed.
Although the description of only two good sperms did make me smile
Sorry you feel like it is over euro. Wait and see. Sadly tomorrow is hideously busy again, so I won't be able to check on the result til night, or possibly Tuesday... Crossing stuff and in total agreement about finding out together rather than alone.
Waves and feather-shakes
never thought I'd write that on an internet forum, or to be honest to write anything at all
Gin I didn't realise they charged for the HCG blood test. They didn't talk about it like it was an option I could take or not.
50 squid euro, if I remember correctly! Also they rang at about 5pm with the results, which was a bit shite. We were off work that day, but really could have done with the next day off to recover
cry. Although I'd still be at work at 5pm and wouldn't want to take that call in front of colleagues....
I might just wait for my period then. It should arrive around Wednesday anyway.
Hey euro remember that the fanny candles can delay your period. I was 5 days late after my first round.
seaview I had my nk cells tested on the NHS, the only thing they offer me and it was because of the miscarriages and my age. You can go private and have your tests and not have had a miscarriage. It was tough especially the second time when I had seen a heartbeat and a moving baby and almost believed it would work as I had reached 10 weeks. To be honest they feel like such a long time ago, I was a bit taken back by the fact I have trying for almost 2 years.
So are you Italian too?? We went to Italy last year and loved it, such a beautiful place
sweet welcome to the thread
gin glad you are feeling better, I have had a faint line on a cheapie ov stick and yes it could be a late ovulation, I've told Barry we'll have one more crack at it on Tuesday
euro what a bloody cheek that they charge for a blood test if I remember correctly art didn't have any symptoms and though it was all over, fingers are crossed for you my lovely
well we are going round to MIL's soon so I can practice my LC on her need to take deep breaths and tell myself its only for a short time
just popping back to say joy I do hope you had better news today. You poor thing, what a terrible terrible time.
euro good luck if you are peeing on a stick in the morning.
sea what is your timetable, you due to test from the IUI soon?
gin yes I will pee on a stick, rather than do bloods, Thursday is a holiday here, so I'll just wait to call my doctor on Friday. I don't see much reason to stalk him, it's either continue the meds or stop the meds and I already know that. I have been feeling rough today, Ken is in the kitchen making steak and chips which I intend to eat with a little glass of red wine, like the wild child I am.
Have a lovely Sunday evening all.
forgot to say gin I'm glad you had a lovely weekend break and sweet welcome.
Joy I have been thinking about you. Any news? We are all rooting for you that everything is okay.
Welcome sweet sorry you found yourself here. Good luck with the testing.
Euro Why do you feel that it will be negative? I am hoping that you will be pleasantly surprised tomorrow. Fingers crossed. Interesting what you say about NK cells. I think its something I might investigate more depending on the results of the IUIs.
Madness Im sorry to hear about your TTC journey. The lapo ops you had v serious. How are you feeling on the decapeptyl injections? I do find the Unexplained diagnosis frustrating but mostly I think it lulled me into a false sense of security that I would get pregnant naturally for a long time. I think it only hit me about 6 mths ago that it is possible that even with no reason medically I might not get pregnant. One doc told me statistically after 3 years of trying. If you do it au naturale, your chances are less than 2%. It came as a big shock to me as its the 1st time I felt I wasnt able to do something that I wanted to do - physically. V odd & I am probably not explaining it v well. Its made me realise what a control freak I am and how loss I felt when I couldnt control my own future.
Lemon it looks like our TTC journey is quite similar except I only just started on the IUI. Im sorry you about your m/c. If you opt for another IUI, will you do SO or natural? And why?
Gin - I followed in madness footstep and looked on other threads with vivs name after seeing the drama on here the other day. I think she was banned for writing an AIBU thread that suggested pregnancy symptoms to the urge to go for a number 2 which offended quite a few people. According to MNHQ, viv was not her 1st identity so I guess gail was her 3rd identity. Good luck with this forth coming ivf cycle.
Buzzy no I am not Italian. Mr Sea is and I am Asian (Oriental) but I am British. Came when I was a little girl. I do have a strange theory that mixed raced couple seem to have more trouble with TTC. I have no hard scientific evidence to back it up at all aside from a lot of time sitting at AC clinic waiting rooms and seeing couples there and friends I have who are having issues with fertility. The majority seem to be mixed race. I am probably talking complete bs but those long waits at the clinics really make you think strange things. Mr Sea thinks I am mad. I would love to know if there have been any clinical studies done to find out.
Doll good luck with the testing this week. My OTD is shortly after yours on Sat. I am not much of a symptom spotter. My boobs are v painful but that is really not unusual for me.
Hi to everyone else and special positive thoughts to Joy.
doll that is a good point re: the progesterone. I think when I tried them before they did delay my period a little bit. I'll POAS in the morning and then take a view. I guess if there is any uncertainty, I'll go for the blood test, but frankly I have had enough of drs for a while! What day do you plan to POAS? (NB. "All of them" is a perfectly acceptable answer.)
We plan to take the next cycle off, while Mr Euro gets his volume, etc checked out, and then try another cycle after that - probably natural but we are considering mild, primarily to see if we can make embryos that get to day 5 as this cycle has shown that I make decent eggs and they can fertilise. Then April, we have to take off as I will be in the US for work over crunch week. If cycle 2 doesn't work, we might take the napalm antibiotics from the greek tests then, as it will be a wasted month anyway. Then May/June we will give one last round a go. I like to have a plan.
I might live dangerously and have a glass of wine tonight too!
<waves to all and sticky thoughts to Joy>
I feel the same about being "unexplained". I want a diagnosis so that I can be "fixed". I struggled hugely with going for IVF. In what other area of medicine would they prescribe shed loads of drugs and invasive minor surgery without having a clue what is wrong with you? Like you, because I hadn't been told why it couldn't happen, I kept hoping that it would. I think we need to face the fact that we are "special" and have something undiagnosable on current scientific knowledge!
Interesting point re: mixed race couples. My bff who needed IVF is in an ethnically Indian/Brit relationship. But I know plenty of people who are boringly Brit couples who have struggled too. I would have thought logically that the diversity of genes from mixed race couples would be a good thing in terms of reproduction. And on certain London estates, almost every toddler you see appears to be mixed race!
joy I was gutted to hear that you had such a horrible scare. You don't deserve this. I am hoping with every bone in my body that things will be ok with your twins. Poor you, what a terrifying time and what a rollercoaster of emotions. Please never feel that you can't vent on here, it's what we are all here for, and we all care about you very much indeed. On Friday I happened to find the first thread and saw you, mrsd and pout on it, back in March 2011, and I felt so happy that you had finally had some good news (and sad that pout and mrsd were also still here. It's devastating to hear you're still not out of the woods. Really hoping you are ok.
euro I am so sorry that you feel that this round hasn't worked. You always impress me with your pragmatism and your dry sense of humour about all this. It isn't over yet. Massive hand hold - this must feel like the longest 2ww ever. It's great that you have a plan already, but I really really hope you don't need it.
gin hurrah for a night away and an early bedtime - that actually sounds like heaven! I know exactly what you mean about the not knowing being the hardest thing. Glad that you and MrG got a lovely break together away from it all.
midnight and sweet, welcome welcome!
seaview ohhh... sounds like you will have a beautiful baby when it finally does arrive - East Asian and Italian? Hello future supermodel child! You asked how I knew I'd be long protocol? Well...I haven't done a round of IVF yet but I was going to in the autumn/winter, before I decided to take a break to recover from all the drugs. Because I'm in the US (and thank God, have decent healthcare that currently covers two rounds of IVF) I've had great care from a fancy specialist 'reproductive endocrinologist' whose surgery smells of rich mahogany and when I met him for my pre IVF consult he said I would be LP. I can start my first IVF cycle whenever I like, which is awesome - have just been thrown off by hoping my crazy non-existent cycles would resume.
lemon boo to having to work on a Sunday and having a busy day tomorrow but yay to outdoors and exercise after finishing work! I am having one of those days where my to do list seems to get longer and longer... it's such a good feeling to tick things off it.
madness sounds like you had a lovely time last night and hope that today's toddler brunch went ok!
art thank you for your post about the hardest part of IVF being deciding to go for it. That is how I have felt. Back and forth about being desperate to do it and not wanting to do it, teamed with fretting about not making any travel plans for six to eight weeks during the cycle. It was really helpful to hear that from you, as you've been through it! Hope the little bean is doing well and that MrArt is adjusting to the sex ban!
doll am thinking of you and crossing my fingers for good news for you this week. Steak, chips and a glass of vino sound perfect. I'm glad it's nearly the end of your 2ww, it feels long to me and I'm not even going through it!
buzzy good luck with your MIL - at practising life coaching techniques on her!
sar hurrah for the FET at the same time as gin - I bet that will be great, to have the pair of you able to support each other as you go through it at the same time!
I'm having a nice quiet, productive weekend here - went to a Pilates class this morning, made some sweet potato and apple soup to take into work this week, did some laundry and ran errands. Next weekend is a three-day weekend here and I'm already excited!
Adding myself to the list...
Euro (37), Mr is also 37 (but not for much longer). On my 28th cycle of ff (futile fucking). Diagnosed as "unexplained". Previously tried 3XLetrozole, 2xIUI and 0.5xIVF (cycle cancelled by us because of intolerable side effects to the drugs). Currently on the 2ww after our first natural IVF cycle and noting that time seems to be standing still...
buzzy About to hit the big four 0 grin certainly feel or act my age Barry 39 TTC # 1 for 22 cycles, BFP first month April 2011 of trying miscarried @ 6 weeks, BFP in Sept 2011 miscarried @ 10 weeks, 2 x ERPC with 1 perforated uterus thrown in for free. Diagnosed with high NK cells5 x Super Ovulation with Gonal F, one SO with IUI. Fertility MOT showns low ovarian reserve, AHM says 1.1. taken goodness knows how many supplements, DHEA for 3 months, acu for 6 months, 16 cycles without not a whiff of anything and counting, moving onto DE IVF in May overseas, starting the adoption rollercoaster, next year I will be a mum by some means or other grin
Seaview 35 - no issues, had hsg, lapo, ORT - all clear and good results, low FSH & high AMH. Mr Sea 39 - all normal. Diag with Unexplained Infertility. TTC 3 years & 5 mths. Never been pregnant. Jan 13 - Had 1st IUI with Clomid & now on 2WW
lemon and SB 34 (nearly and just), TTC since summer 2010, unexplained, done 3x natural IUI, 3x SO IUI. BFP but mc on first SO IUI. Now qualify for IVF, but might stay on IUI for another cycle (or 4...)
gin and Dave both 34, ttc 2 years 8 months too bloody long, male factor sub-fertility - very low count, poor morphology and motility ie 2 good sperms! 2 mild ivf cycles with icsi at Create and now about to start a FET cycle, with the 1 embryo we have frozen.
Madness (34) MrM (37) TTC 2 years 8 months, never a whiff of a bfp.
Ovulating normally, SA normal
Stage IV (severe) endometriosis finally officially diagnosed this year.
2x laps, Fallopian abscess drained last year in emergency procedure, right tube and some adhesions removed and cysts drained during most recent lap in December 2012. Much of the endo remains as removing it risked damaging my bowel.
Placed on decapeptyl injections and hrt to shut down ovaries and halt/shrink endo before starting nhs ivf in April.
critter 33, MrC also 33 - TTC since April 2011. MrC is fine, I don't ovulate - PCOS and amenorrhea. Came off pill, periods never came back. Six rounds of Clomid, only ovulated once. One round injectibles in September 2012, nothing doing until suddenly eight eggs, had to cancel cycle due to risk of being an octomom. Recommended IVF in October 2012. Planned to start in Jan 2013 to give body a break from drugs and mentally prepare - randomly ovulated naturally in Dec 2012, but haven't ovulated again, so planning IVF in April/May.
Bloody heck just spent ages writing a long post with proper name checks and have lost it all. So frustrating!!
Will write properly tomorrow but wanted to send good wishes to euro and MrEuro for testing.
And critter you inspired me to find that first thread. It was joy who first welcomed me. I so hope that you are alright. Please take care of yourself xx
Ok. Will name check tomorrow. Have a lovely Sunday evening everyone.
There is a second line. Crikey.
In my mind, it could still be the trigger shot (thought I tested it out last week, but maybe my wee was particularly concentrated this morning?). I will be menkulling like crazy until blood test Weds. Am shaking.
Yes, yes, yes euro! You know what they say, a line is a line! Congratulations. Everything is crossed for you.
Got to do some work, but I will try to catch up with you all in a bit.
Euro . OMFG as the yoof say. Still early days, but two lines are better than one . Wow!!
Freakin amazing euro!! I'm pretty sure trigger shot should have gone by now. Yay! Fingers crossed for the blood test.
Euro woohoo great news to wake up to on a Monday morning. Good luck for Weds. (though I'm sure there's no need for good luck)
Waves and love to everyone else xx
Are you at work today euro? I bet you won't be able to concentrate!
joy I was so upset when I read your news. My heart goes out to you. I am hoping that all will still be ok. Please feel free to come and post here at anytime, we are here to support you. I also understand if you want to stay away.
buzz your plans for de ivf or for adoption both sound exciting. I am totally ignorant about the process of adoption in the UK, what's the first step?
Who was on the original thread then? Surely we've done our time now? I read that thread a few weeks ago, and I think (though it's hard to believe) that I was more upset and anxious about it all than I am now. I have reached a sort of acceptance. But, I don't know how much of that is based on me thinking that ivf is going to work. I'm terrified that I don't have a plan B if it doesn't work. Hopefully we'll do a cycle in late March/April. If that doesn't work then we'll try to fit a cycle in over the summer, and then one before xmas. After that I think we'd have to call it a day and try to move on from ttc. By that point we'd have been ttc for three and half years and all our savings will have gone. I can't bear to think of that yet though, one step at a time.
Congrats euro very exciting, trigger shot would be out of your system by now :-)
Thanks ladies. V shocked, and still not believing it.
mrsd I think I was on the original thread. I sneaked on when I had been trying for 4 months when it was actually a 5+ thread I think. I decided that you looked like my kind of ladies, and that the chem preg I had had before we started trying counted to get me in the gang.
Euro yes, yes, yes - thats bloody amazing, woohoo!! I know its nerve wracking waiting for bloods but hopefully everything will just go swimmingly and easily for you from now on in. Really fantastic news.
Buzz i had no idea you were kiwi. I must have missed that at some point. I was also v saddened to read that you had seen a hb and everything with your last pregnancy. There is no rhyme or reason for such cruelty. I did giggle at practising your LC on your MiL. I must say that would summon all my energy.
Seavie i understand only too well the frustration of being unexplained. But take heart and comfort from your high amh and hopefully it will be one of those simple things that IUI may sort.
Doll thinking of you in the hellish 2ww.
Madness commiserations on the rugby score yesterday. Reading your ttc journey summarised just reminded me of what a horrendous time you have had of it all.
Gin im glad you are feeling less gloomy about ttc . I totally know what you mean about moving on with your life. Year after year of being in limbo land is just hideous. But onwards and upwards towards your FET. yippee.
Thanks ladies for your lovely words. the scan showed no changed from last week. No heartbeat on either twin. HCG still hasnt doubled in over a week. It had crept up yesterday but nothing significant. The doc said not to write it off just yet but he said it is bad news if the hcg continues to creep like this. I saw on my notes that my hcg should be around 23000 on Friday and it was only 9800. It should be around 30,000 now and it was 10800 yesterday. A failed embryo can still release hcg hence the creeping up. I have been desperate to just wake up and be sick everywhere or have some sign my body is doing something. But zilch. Not a twinge, not a cramp in a week. The cramping in the first week tied in nicely with the hcg doubling.
I know where this is headed and Im dreading it. I feel sick to the stomach at the money weve spent and especially in the last 2wks trying to keep this pregnancy going. Thurs/Fri is the cut off point if no hb then thats it. Sitting at work feeling pretty dismal about it all. you ever get that feeling when the same old surroundings and the same old work colleagues just really get to you (perhaps not) but i have got the most annoying manager breathing down my neck and bothering me about inane rubbish. I just want to walk out, give up work and go somewhere far far away from here right now.
Joy I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Have gone through 2 natural MCs, I can only imagine how heart breaking the prospect of your IVF round failing must be. We didn't have the money thing to factor in but the waiting is the absolute pits. My small mucus plug came out before I miscarried the second one and I identified it when I went to the loo the night before the MC, so knew in my heart of hearts it was over. However, I'm still crossing my fingers and asking the universe to send you a little miracle or 2. If you doctor is saying there is a small glimmer, hold on to that. I just wanted to say that if your colleagues are getting to you and you can't concentrate, I would go home. I hated my ex colleagues and didn't feel guilty about taking any time for myself because they were such horrid morons who I just couldn't stomach at tricky times (I also called in sick a couple of times when I was feeling low because i really couldn't cope and it didn't affect any of my references / appraisal grades) Maybe just go and say you're feeling off? Or can you get a sick note from your GP / the clinic or even just fain a migraine / food poisoning? What's happening is a big deal - whatever the outcome - and I don't think anyone would blame you for looking after yourself right now. I hope you don't mind me posting. I do feel awkward, but you have been there for me when I needed your help and I just wanted to extend some love and support and to let you know that I'm thinking of you and Roy and truly hoping that despite the "not great news" that this turns itself around. . I guess, all I can really say is that I'm really sorry that this has happening Big non MN hugs xxxx
oh joy, I am joining princess in asking for a little miracle (or two) for you. If the Dr hasn't given up yet then there must still be a chance.
Life can be so cruel and to get so far for it to be snatched away is the cruelest torture. I second princess too in saying go home. Unless of course work is helping take your mind off things but it doesn't sound like it. Say you're feeling sick and go. Work is not that important, you need to take care of yourself. Could your GP give you a sick note so you can have a few days at home? I hope mrjoy is doing ok and is being strong for you. Massive hugs xx
Firstly WOW Euro I am so chuffed for you - that is such lovely news. You were the first thing I thought of this morning and I logged on with a degree of trepidation but it has made my day to read about your second line. Tentative congrats and roll on for more happy news on Wednesday
joy You were also very much in my thoughts this morning and all weekend actually. I can't believe that you are still being dragged through hell. You are such a lovely person and this seems so unbelievably cruel. Like everyone on here I am willing for a miracle or two for you
BTW I second suggesting whether going home (or to a friends) might be better than being at work right now. I can totally understand how you can't be arsed to even think about work crap and nor should you. Lots of love to you joy
critter I can't believe that I was on the original thread. Like mrsd said I was definitely more upset & anxious back at the start. I think that latterly there has been some acceptance. Like you mrsd I see the IVF as "calling it a day". I don't expect it to work (perhaps several cycles might but that's not an option) and see it as a necessary thing. Almost like a big fat marker pen to draw a massive line under things as well as something to salve my conscience in the years to come and help me to sleep at night knowing that I did everything I possibly could. I was chatting to MrP last night and we are both on the same page that it is time to call it quits. As much as I admire them, I also don't want to be one of the ladies I read posts from on here, who have been TTC for 9 years and the like.
seaview I read with interest what you said about the TTC for 3 years and the success rate dropping to 2%. It shock me rigid actually and confirmed what I knew in my heart. Interestingly, my gynae said that they only start to worry after the 3 year mark. I guess after all these cycles it is very unlikely that it will just happen. Why now but not all those other times?
doll any news with you? When are you due to test? Praying & hoping for you too
Oh Joy. Adding my wishes to the miracle gang. How many weeks post EC are you? AFAIK 2 weeks post EC is the earliest they would be able to see a heartbeat but it must be absolutely gutting to be having all those appointments and bloods and still have to wait and see. You must be like a pincushion by now. I think you need to get signed off work. It is traumatic enough getting IVF results when you get a straight answer either way, but you are in a particular kind of hell and the last thing you need is people mithering you with trivia - and everything is trivial compared to this. Princess and Mrsden are right, you need some time out for you and Roy to look after yourselves, whatever the outcome turns out to be. Big hugs xx
Euro two lines!!!!! That's brilliant. A line is a line, as mrsden says. I'm keeping things crossed for you. It will take a while to sink in. I'm still getting my head around it 12 weeks on. But for now -
Doll how are you? The last few days of the 2ww are the pits. Are you waiting to Thursday to test? Thinking of you.
Big worky waves to everyone else. I'll catch up properly tomorrow - for now I have
idiots to deal with stuff to do.
Oh joy . There are no words. Only hand squeezes and strong shoulders. It might still be ok, but I can see the bloods aren't giving much hope. I will still fervently keep my fingers crossed that one or both beans make it through. You must be exhausted.
Joy I'm sorry that the blood results are not going the way you would have hoped.
Art I can't beleive you are 12 weeks already!
princess 6 months at the PIL! Some criminals have to do less time than that!
Thanks for all your kind thoughts ladies. I still won't believe it until I get the blood test results, but I am starting to get over the shock!
Wow - bittersweet news today.
Just popping in to give joy a huge hug. Everyone else has said it better than I can - you are a wonderful person and this is so cruel. I wish you weren't going through this. If you can go home and rest, do. Praying for a miracle for you.
euro oh my goodness this is amazing! I can see that you'd be in shock. I'm thrilled for you... can imagine that it all feels very fragile now, but this is just wonderful news.
Thanks so much Princess for your lovely message. Please dont ever feel awkward posting on here. Your words mean a lot.
Pout interesting you have been speaking to MrP about calling it a day after ivf last night i had the same conversation with Roy (i think we are also on same page). obviously I hope you are proved wrong and it will produce your baby but i find i like to have a plan of when we call it a day. I spoke to a lovely lady in my clinic who is pregnant after 4 years of cycles. I reckon she has had well over 10, she didnt divulge how many she has endured. She has the financial means to keep trying but she said it had almost become an obsession. I quite understand that. She had been through so much with ivf ectopics, m/c after seeing hbs and yet she still keeps going. This pregnancy was looking positive though. But i did think, thank god i dont have the means to continue like that. As for our stats being 2% after 3 years, i still believe extraordinary things can happen. I have heard so many miracle tales , however, i also hope I can soon move on with this and put it to bed and accept things. Weirdly i came across a post i started 2 years ago saying how can i deal with a friend who is pregnant. [i was beside myself back then] Thats where we got chatting with some other girl who started the 6+months ttc thread...it has been a ridiculously long time.
Art thanks for your message. Im now 6wks+2. I would have thought the beans should have grown but apparently they were the same. They say they have to see a hb by 7wks. Oh and im black and blue. My stomach went a frightening black/mauve colour and there was no more room to put clexane so ive moved to my thighs which now look like i have been hit by several cricket balls. My arms are bruised from the ivig and daily bloods and my back where the gestones shots go is very painful and lumpy in fact it wakes me every time i turn in the night. i think the steroids have made my face go hairy so im a really pretty picture!
I dont know what is wrong with me when it comes to work. Ive always been worried about how im perceived and will always drag myself in if im poorly. Its not a martyr thing, I just worry that people will think Im faking it. I have only taken one day off in over 3years here and that was for my last m/c. I think its partly because my role doesnt feel particularly safe im the only one who doesnt earn money for the company and so im expendable. It also must be a family thing. Having just got off the phone with my mum who has been particularly kind ringing me every single day for the last few weeks, I was desperately trying not to cry and she was clearly sad too but she was just like, you must keep cheerful. Its very old school. When someone close in our family dies, its very much , thats life , get over it and move on. No doubt we all go and cry in private, hence I got off the phone and went to the loo and took 30mins to compose myself. Went back to the office and cracked some jokes and i thought, no one knows that ive just been crying for half an hour. How warped and bizarre is that. Anyway, no doubt i will need to call in sick in the next few weeks but if it gets too much I may have to do it before then.
Oh joy I could scream for you. Reading how black and blue you are and how sore seems to make it seem even more unfair. It's almost like for Christ's sake what more do you have to do to get a fecking break?
I think back and we were quite beside ourselves on the original threads. I guess you can't keep up that level of emotional fervour forever and I think a kind of deeper sadness kicks in. I know it's probably controversial to say but I think the difference back then, for me anyway, was that I had hope & that was feeding the TTC monster inside me.
joy I understand your work ethic and you should be proud but you know that you don't need to have the flu or a limb hanging off to be unfit for work. Don't feel guilty if you need some time at home to process everything. puts bossy boots away
I have been trying since last may for a baby and nothing has worked me and my fiancé each had children with r ex partners and she have tied everything u can think of
* joy* I'm so so sorry. I can only add my wishes and hopes for you.
euro congrats, brilliant brilliant news.
Oh what a bitter sweet day.
I have nothing to add really from my side. I feel pretty bad again today and have 'night shift stomach', not testing yet, a negative will only mean I have to test again to be sure. pout I'm one of those 9 years plus women, you are right you don't want to be there. I'm so ready to hang up my TTC boots. I've already knotted the laces together and am eyeing a nice peg. About time.
Goodness I have missed a lot since vivgate. I have been firmly in the tent with the doors laced shut, due to various happenings but it is a story for another time as there are bigger things going on here today. I don't have time for full namecheck as I am not finished for a work deadline but..
euro well there you go, you just never can tell! I am so so happy for you. You trusted what was best for your body and this is good news. You can get pregnant, you are pregnant. Enjoy every single second and try not to do the worrying, though I know that must be hard.
joycep my heart broke for you a little bit this weekend and I'm sorry I've not posted anything sooner. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through and I am wishing with everything I have that this will be one of those stories where it all comes good. I think you need to be very stern with yourself about the need to take some time off work at this time. You have been a loyal worker under extremely stressful circumstances and one day in three years is commendable by medal. I know how strong your work ethic is and your concern about people thinking badly about you but most people have days off for colds! I strongly feel you need to have some space to rest and just be. I'm sorry the drugs have made your body look like you've gone paintballing, clexane is evil. I'm pretty sure it is what made me have that hematoma (not a worry for you, it was the scar!) and the bruising is a very visual reminder of what you have been going through. Please know that we are all here for you.
doll I have been thinking of you too - how goes the roughness?
Nice to see this thread so busy and to see old faces <waves at Princess, you don't really have an old face> and poignant to see contemplations on how this thread began. I can't personally bear to look at it, I think I joined the back end of the first thread, maybe the start of the second, I was Peaceport and then Where is my wine for anyone doing a bit of backreading. Did I feel worse then, largely yes. But I did have considerably more hope that things would be alright which I don't have anymore. I have the acceptance but what comes with that is sadness at my very core, which I am learning to live with but it scares me that it might never go away.
As for my update. How to make it concise? I'm 36, been ttc since Nov 2010. We are on the books as unexplained because technically there is no reason why we haven't conceived. The sperm is very plentiful (though morphology varies), I ovulate, tubes are healthy, fsh is a question mark (to be re-tested as I got the day wrong) I have a very tilted uterus. They thought I had a huge fibroid and as such I had major surgery last May only to discover it was all fine and dandy with no sign of a lump. I've missed a lot of cycles due to surgery but estimate I've had about 22/23 ovulations with no pregnancy.
The real me update is that I'm living oop north, married to Hare who is my happy ever after man after a very abusive relationship. I like cooking, crafting, stars and we live with my crusty old pet (clue in the mn name). I work in education and was a Reception teacher for years, but don't do that anymore, thank god. I was born for warmer climes, hate the winter and do yoga every day. I am blood phobic. I have no idea how to be financially savvy and as such never have any money. I am anally tidy. Because we are all an awful lot more than our ttc stats.
Big love to everyone here. Now is not a very good time for me, for reasons I don't really want to go into here. I am not sure how much I can post at the moment. But I will be reading and will emerge from the tent in a week or two, based on past experience!
Joy - oh sweetheart - how long must you be tortured. I am so sad to hear that this nightmare is still ongoing. But as those above have said, there is hope. I really feel for you and also agree time away from work may be time well spent. I do think it's ok not to be cheerfull sometimes. What an amazing woman you are Joy - how strong and focused you are. Please be very very kind to yourself. I wish I could scoop you up from work and take you for tea and cake and comfy settees and chat, I really do. Please tell Mr Joy we are thinking of him too.
Euro - you only went and did it!!! I am SOOOOO THRILLED for you. What amazing news and how wonderful that you followed your own instincts about the way to go. Do you have any symptoms? So exciting and very well deserved. Big big hugs and jumps.
Doll - I have everything crossed for you. You had a beautiful embryo transfered so lots of reasons to be positive. And I am glad that either way it is a good outcome for you as it will allow you to find permanent peace and happiness.
Hello to Sweet, Steph and the other new lady. We are a bunch of welcoming and supportive gals but hope you don't have to stay here long. Steph - I noticed from your other post that you had a miscarriage last May. Very very occasionally miscarriage can alter fertility (not necissarily in a severe way). It is worth asking your Dr for tests although they usually want you to ttc for a year before they will start that process. Good luck.
Gin - I will be doing FET about a week before you. I think 2 days off work sounds great. I am only having off the day of transfer itself due to the new job. Bit worried about approching that as I will need to ask for an annual leave day 6 days ahead of the transfer as that is the earliest I will find out when it will be. Hope that is going to be ok with the new manager - will cross that bridge I guess. Glad you are feeling a little better - weekend breaks really do wonders don't they. We are planning our next for March/ April - we have been through enough and need little glimmers of nice things I guess.
Hi Art - glad thinkgs are ok for you. Have you officilally told people yet?
Sea - 3 years without a diognosis is very tough indeed. Sorry if you have already told us this but have you ever had a HSG or lap?
Hello to Critter, Pout, Rabbit, Den and everyone.
Sarlat - 33, DH 48. Ttc for nearly 3 years. 1 MC first month at 6 weeks. Since then 2 IVF cycles with BFN. Lots and lots of misdiagnosis on the way. Recent lap has confirmed damaged but repairable right fallopian tube due to post miscarriage silent infection and also mild endo in other areas. Now waiting for FET and ongoing natural ttc.
Cross post Rabbit - sorry you are in the tent. I am leaving some tea and scones at the door in the hope they will make you feel a tiny bit better. Emerge when you are ready. xx
rabbit hope that you are okay. If you need anyone you know where we are
peaceport and wine. God wine was ace. It's funny isn't it to remember. It would be nicer if everyone stayed.
BTW adding a potted description of you as a person as well as a TTC stat is a nice idea
doll You are being so brilliant at waiting to test, not to mention sensible. FX for you when you do.
I hope you weren't offended by my TTC 9 years comments. I didn't mean anything derogatory about women who try that long just that I'm not strong or determined enough.
Just had to come onto the thread briefly to check the news. And euro CONGRATULATIONS. Feel free not to believe it til Wed, but I am fairly confident this is the real thing. HURRAH.
So incredibly sad though to read your news joy. I remember the horrid time between 6+4 (there really ought to be a heart beat, but maybe hopefully) and 7+4 (it was over, in our case - that does not need to be your outcome). It is terrible, difficult and in my case I kept on moving from utter despair to quiet hope straight back to despair. Psychologically the couple of days after 6+4 were the ultimate pits. The worst part of the whole experience. So my heart goes out to you, have a shoulder, do what you need to do (also re: work). Meanwhile I am crossing absolutely everything for that miracle. Hugs, chocolate and all my heart. So sorry.
Quickly for sea. If we do another IUI it will be SO with injectables, cos that is what I got pregnant on before.
Sorry you're in the tent rabbit. But wholeheartedly agree with the being more than TTC stats! Will think of a good summary (which does not give too much away either).
Wave at pout, remember current rabbit was wine in a previous incarnation. There have been a few name changes. Even I was something different, but I cannot remember myself
joy I really am so sorry that you are going through this, after everything you just think life is a pile of shit. I don't want o give you false hope but I am hoping that it is good news for you on Friday. It is exhausting as well, the not knowing the wondering what the next results will say. With my first miscarriage they didn't do blood tests I just kept going back once a week for scans for nearly a month, its total torture.
I know you are concerned about your job, but you matter more, you are also by law entitled to sick leave, speaking from experience you need some time off to grieve and for your body to recover. We are all here for you, I have pm'ed you too. I really am so so sorry joy big hugs. Sorry didn't mean to keep harping back to my miscarriages on here.
I know you must feel in such a bad place right now but after 3 long crap years of ttc you have almost got there, I know you are thinking shut up silly cow, but you do now know that you can make a baby and next time it will be different. I'll stop now....................
doll feeling bad could be a good sign, when are you testing??
mrsd I suppose adoption is something that you need to get your head around, abit like IVF, for me I just want to be a mum and I don't care how it happens, I don't need to be biologically related although that was my main aim, the thought of DE totally upset me at first, I'm sure some of you remember my melt down over it. I just needed time to get my head around it and to remember that my main goal is a baby. I won't bore people with the details but can pm you the basic outline for adoption here in the UK.
rabbit sorry you are in the tent, big hugs to you
well LC MIL went better than I thought, we even discussed our TTC plans with her and the aunt. MIL did call when we got home but Barry ignored the phone as his favourite
crap programme was on, she emailed me today saying that she would happily come with me to Brno if Barry is unable to take time off work. Now I have to explain to her that Barry will need to be there to do his bit
hello to newbies
Joy I am so sad to hear about what you are going through. I really hope hsg go up and this is just one of those unexplainable blip and everything will get back on track. I really really really hope so. I totally get what you are saying about carrying on as if you are okay and not wanting to take time off. I am similar always putting on a smiley face even if I am dying inside. Its important to give yourself time to get better though and you shouldnt force yourself as what you are going through is huge both mentally & physically. Unless of course work actually help take your mind off things. [hand hold, positive vibes and good wishes]
Euro what great news! V v happy for you. Good luck for Wed! Try to enjoy the good news.
Pout Didnt want to shock you re 3 years of TTC and success rate dropping to 2% when trying naturally without help. I never really worried until 2 years and 11 months in then it clicked how weird it was that I have NEVER been pregnant. And that was what my consultant told me. I agree with Joy that there are many stories of extraordinary things happening As Euro said, there are just many things that science still cant explain.
Rabbit nice to see another yogie on here. What kind of yoga do you practice? You are so right; we are not just our ttc stats.
Sarlat I had hsg and lap both came back normal, in fact v good as did all my other results. Even though all that is good news, it doesnt help me at all not knowing why I cant get pregnant. The only tests I havent had are the chromosomal tests, NK cells and post coital tests. I have 3 NHS IUIs and my plan is to do those first and then do the 3 tests I havent done (privately) and based on the results I might do the nhs ivf offered or go straight to a private cycle.
Buzzy glad to hear MIL wasnt as bad as expected.
Doll good luck for testing this week. Sending you lots of positive vibes.
Hello to everyone else!
What a rollercoaster of emotions this place can be.....
joy I am so sorry. It really sums up how wonderful you've been to me and so many others on this thread that you are taking the time to comment on our struggles while going through such a horrible time yourself. You and Roy have been through so much, both physically and emotionally and it will take time to heal. This is a time to make sure that you are there for each other and to be extra kind to yourself. If that means sticking two fingers up at work for a few days then do it. I was the type to never miss work but when things went crazy last year I came to the realisation that there are times that you just have to step back and let it go. Not forever, just for some breathing space. Take care and come back whenever you can xx
euro what wonderful news. We need that today more than ever I think. I am so thrilled for you both and will be logging in on Wednesday to hear that the blood test has confirmed it . From now on we will all remember your story when we are worried that it feels like it hasn't worked. You really never know!
rabbit sticking my hand in the tent for a friendly wave. I hope that you feel up to emerging sooner rather than later but take the time you need. As I said up thread - I disappeared for a year when I needed it. So glad that I have all of you now, though, as we move on to the next stage. Thanks for also reminding us that we are so much more than just women trying to conceive.
buzzy you gave me a much needed chuckle thinking about your mil not realising that you would need Barry along for the trip. I don't envy you trying to explain that one!
mrsd I was really anxious on that first thread as well. I was worrying about not taking cold medication two days after ovulation. I had such hope during every 2ww back then. It was exhausting!
Following rabbit's lead - I am 34, married to my wonderful husband for several years now. I have a penchant for baking and crafty things, although I have been known to get many projects to within a day of completion and then fail to do anything with them for months . I work with children and love my job, which is completely different from MrM's which I think gives us a good balance. I am a real worrier and have been known to worry that I am not worrying and must have forgotten something important. I live in a house that i couldn't have imagined living in 10 years ago
not huge just perfectly us on a friendly and quirky street. I have lived in several different countries throughout my life but have now lived in this city for longer than anywhere else and am very happy to call it home.
Big waves to everyone else.
Joy - I am really sorry to hear what you've been going through. I know when I had my MC (first month of trying) I spent my fair share of time crying in the washroom. I'm hoping for a miracle.
Euro - Congratulations on your news.
Rabbit and Sea - I have also been doing yoga quite a bit lately, 30 min to 1 h a night.
To follow everyone else's lead, DH and I have been married for nearly three years. We both really enjoy making delicious treats. I am a scientist and because of our career choices, we relocate every few years. So far we have lived in several Canadian provinces, but never abroad
which will hopefully change within the next few years . We both have lovely families and my MIL took over 2 years to conceive each of her children naturally, which in a small way gives me hope.
Morning ladies. In pish stick news, there was another faint line this morning - no darker than yesterday's. I will be on tenterhooks for tomorrow's blood test. I still don't actually believe it. A few people have congratulated me. I don't feel like I have anything to be congratulated for, because I don't feel any different, it doesn't seem real.
To add to the personal description (lovely idea - we are more than the stories of our barrenness, after all): Mr Euro and I have been married for two and a half years but together for nine and a half (it took a while, but we got there in the end!). He's a Plastic Paddy (born there, grew up here, speaks with a terribly posh BBC accent), I'm a Brit. We're both disputes lawyers and therefore terribly conflict-adverse in our personal lives and rarely argue (quite common among our ilk, apparently). We are both complete chocaholics. In terms of hobbies, I am absolutely useless at anything craft-related. I run (badly) and gym. I also like photography. He likes shooting American teenagers on the PS3 and xbox. Last year, we both took up long range rifle shooting as we decided we needed a hobby to take our minds off things. I am not sure how baby-friendly that will turn out to be if this goes right for us. His family seem to be pretty fertile. Mine not - there is almost 10 years between my mum and her brother, my dad is an only, as am I (my mum miscarrying 4 babies after me). So I grew up well aware of how hard it can be to come by babies.
Buzzy I can't believe your MIL hasn't worked out that you need two people there to create a baby! Explaining that one could be fun.
doll I hope you are holding in there. Is Thursday your OTD?
Joy I'm thinking of you.
<waves to all>
I hope you dont mind I am attempting to delurk once more, I have tried a couple of times but life has always got in the way of posting, although I have been reading on and off since thread 6 I think!
Joy - I am so awfully sorry that you are having to go through this after you have already been through so much to get here.
Euro - Fingers crossed for a positive result on the blood test (I think it is tomorrow)
Doll - fingers crossed for testing and feeling rubbish being a sign.
I wanted to say that unknowingly you have all been a great source of information and hope for me over the last 18months or so, especially interms of what to expect from Drs appts etc, descriptions of HSG and laps and I have a few points that I am taking away to my next appt (tomorrow) to talk through with my (frankly hopeless) Dr - so thank you all so much.
A bit about me (I dont want you to feel wierd that I have read about you and not shared!) Me 31 DP 35 ttc 18 months, not a sniff of a bfp. Bloods all good including AMH, scan showed polycystic overies (no syndrom) and SA normal. Next step I guess is trying to get HSG before they make me take Clomid (the wonder drug that just buys them 6 months as far as I can tell as I ovulate as far as I am aware from bloods).
In other news I love ANYTHING to do with food (eating/cooking/reading) and exercise (which is lucky as otherwise I would be the size of a house) but am terrible at all craft related projects. In the middle of renovating a house, which is a tad depressing as we keep having to have the conversation of - well if we have children.....urgh
Oh and I am completely rubbish at spelling so along with the numerous typos I apologise in advance.
Thanks once again for your lovely support ladies. you give me strength.
Euro its just brilliant news. hcg results are bloody nerve wracking but the fact you are getting a positive on a stick is a great sign. My beta on blood test day (15dpo) was 185 which was strong and i got a negative on a stick!
Welcome back tenmonths and hope your doc appt goes ok. Completely understand that renovating a house might be a bit . We are stuck in a 2bed flat at the moment and would love to move to the sticks and get a house but its difficult to know how many bedrooms we would need. Most our friends did the buying house with 3 beds before kids and they managed to fill the bedrooms up. [poisonous grimace]. We were never that daring.
Sweetgrouch welcome and sorry you find yourself here.
Madness thank you for your lovely message. Can I ask what you did for that year you disappeared? Where you having tests or did you put ttc to the back of your mind? Oh and Im another worrier and also get worried if i have nothing to worry about ttc sort of cures that doesnt it?!
Buzz i certainly wouldnt be thinking for you to shut up. Its really helpful having advice and kind words from people who have been there so thank you. I would love it if you could pm the basic outline for adoption in this country. Im finding that the more I think about it, the more I can come to terms with everything else. It kind of gives me hope that we will get to be parents one way or another. But isnt it hideously difficult in this country? we have a wood burning stove in our flat so im sure thats a big no no.
Lemon i remember all too well the horrible time yuo had between that first scan and the second. I have found the daily beta tests hideous just waiting to hear and of course for 11 days it was going fine but then suddenly it wasnt. But i think perhaps it has been a blessing because i wont be walking in to my scan blind like you were normally i would have been none the wiser although i would be very suspicious by my lack of symptoms.
Rabbit im so sorry you are going through a difficult time at the moment. i hope you feel better soon. thanks for your lovely words. I did like it when you said some people take days off for a cold as thats exactly what my colleague did yesterday. Hes always pulling a fast one yet the manager still kisses his butt.
Doll sorry you arent feeling well . Keeping fingers crossed for Thurs.
Pout i like bossy pout. I remember that despair a few years ago of panicking that i was being left behind. I do get moments like that but with time comes acceptance...well until the next preg announcement that is. Hope does wane after a while.
So i was called by a doc last night which was novel, it is normally a nurse. Beta isnt good & he confirmed its looking like bad news, which of course I know. But I am going in on Thurs for a final scan and blood test and that will finally confirm the outcome. I know theres no hope. I desperately just want to come off all this progesterone now which i think is just keeping things going and I hate the thought of pumping synthetic progesterone in to me when there is no point (also it costs £20 a day). Going to take Thurs morn off work and see if I can see my GP before the scan. Hoping she can refer me to the EPU as I dont think the clinic manages failed pregnancies. Roy and I clearly make alien babies that arent compatible with human life. If it wasnt for my last m/c, I may have put two embyos implanting but failing to develop down to bad luck but this is now 3 failing to get to hb stage. Immunes have been under control so its not that. To me it now suggests we are dealing with some chromosome/genetic issue which quite frankly if true will be the final nail in the coffin. Anyway, im quite chirpy today but having become emotionally schizophrenic I know this will change at a drop of a hat.
Have been loving reading peoples personal descriptions so here is mine which probably sounds more suitable for a dating website; Me 33, Roy, 31. Married 4 yrs. TTC 3 yrs. We are laid back, down to earth people but verge on the eccentric we would be better suited to the 1920s. We have never had a row. We love the countryside, dogs, skiing, tennis. I dream of living in a cottage in a country village, growing veg and making jam and chutney with dogs and 2 kids running about. Enid Blyton stuff really. Im an introverted extrovert love my own company but also love nothing more to let my hair down, have a good drink and a dance. I like photography, painting, baking and writing but am no good at them and London makes me too lazy to often get round to these hobbies. I plan to have my own business in 3 yrs time. Roy is quiet, sweet and kind and apart from the odd dick head comment, i still think hes one of the kindest gentlemen i have ever met...but then im biased. . I also have a crazy MiL who loves overstepping the mark.
I am meant to be working but the cat has plonked herself on my laptop.
Hello toNewbies, I am glad that you have de-lurked, and Doll has already issued the "don't mess" ultimatum. We are a lovely bunch <brags> as you probably already know. But I hope you don't have to be here long .
I De-lurked on thread 2 I think. Astonishing. And not really in a good way.
Joy I hope you are holding up as well as can be expected. I am thinking of you so much. I know we are all praying for the miracle; but I also know that sometimes it is less painful to accept the inevitable. You are being amazing, but as the others have said, don't feel you have to be strong. You are going through hell right now; some time off and extreme sadness would not be unreasonable! Hand holds for you x
Rabbit I'm sorry you are in the tent. It's a rubbish place to be. I am probably joining you for a bit. Have some Rocky Road in the meantime. Or pancakes perhaps? Paw squeeze.
Doll huge fingers crossed for happy Valentine's Day news. I'm not yet ready to stare down the barrel of giving up TTC, but I admire your attitude so much. Can we stay friends please. I'd hate it if you left us!
Art and Princess so great to have you keep popping in. I also wanted to congratulate you both on the complete absence of scan pics and pregnancy moans on FB . You have stuck to the 10+ers code!
IVF cycles (fresh or FET) are coming up soon for many of you. I'm hoping for plenty of Spring BFPs.
Euro great that the line is still there. Does it feel any more real today?
As for me, I have been royally fucked off as I've been very lightly spotting since CD17. Today is CD25. I have successfully ignored it, but today thought to myself "well on any other MN thread, that would have been a 100% guaranteed sign of pregnancy. Maybe I should test". So I did. Dipped stick in jar of wee, put stick down, got loo roll, wiped. Ladies it will not surprise you in the slightest that I found a great smear of blood (sorry). I'm still not sure if I'm CD1 (I think this is still "heavy spotting" but wtf is 8 or more days? I usually get 4 at the most. Ah well. Test was BFN of course.
I have my follow up from the IVF next week so will ask if it's related. My first post IVF cycle was 40 days with absolutely zero spotting. Anyway rant over. I should probably get back to work. Waves to Gin, Sar, lemon, Critter, Pout, MrsD, Teu, Buzzy and the gazillions of others I've missed. Blame the cat
joy No words really, just hand squeezing from me.
Hello to the new comers tenmonth sweetgrouch and midnight 'Tis a nice thread in an otherwise shite situation
nelly Some months I have spotted for 5 days or more but 8 days seems like a lot. No medic people have been interested so who knows. I do know though that anything different to our usual cycles is just plain worrying. Do you think it could be your system readjusting after the IVF?
BTW sorry about the BFN. I hate those bastard sticks and have lost hope of ever seeing that elusive second line
lemons I think my last post was one of those rare times a would actually have been appropriate!
Woo hoo euro for another line today. Will be waiting with bated breath tomorrow.
My stats Me 37, DH 42 Together almost 14 years, married for one year. TTC approximately 3 years now. Been slapped with the very helpful "Unexplained" label and have had all the usual tests, lap&dye, HSG etc. Tried Clomid and also Metformin owing to dubious suspicions of polycystic ovaries which seems to have been latterly poo pooed. Waiting now for CD1 to start my first round of IVF. As for the personal stuff...I am into crafting especially decoupage and basic sewing stuff like bunting and cushion covers. I also love cake and so do quite a bit of baking. I have two canine babies who I am potty over & who regularly cause me to make a total tit of myself.
joy am thinking of you today. Wish I could say something to make it better. I can imagine you'd be desperate to stop taking the progesterone - I always found progesterone supplements made me feel really foggy. And talk about adding insult to injury that it's 20 pounds a day to take them. I'm just so sorry you're going through this shit.
nelly so sorry about the spotting, the BFN and the blood. Seriously - can our bodies not find better things to do than torture us with their crazy mental-inducing behaviour? It's hard to think about other things than TTC when you're constantly being sent conflicting physical signals. I am sorry.
euro hurrah for another line still being there today. Hang in there! Maybe some chocolate to calm the nerves? Will be thinking of you and willing your blood test to confirm things. I hope when we have our April drinks that they'll be non-alcoholic ones! I actually worked out that I'll probably be just starting to down-reg when we hang out in late April - so will be awesome to see you for support!
doll good luck this week. You are my hero - I so admire your positive attitude throughout all this. I hope Mrdoll has been looking after you, and that little doll is being as cute as ever.
tenmonths welcome back! I would question them if they push clomid at you, if you're ovulating anyway. The whole point of it is to force you to ovulate so if that isn't the problem I don't see why they'd prescribe it? It made me feel cray-cray so I would ask some questions. Also - if they do give it to you - make sure they monitor you while you're on it.
sweet a fellow inhabitant of north america! Are you Canadian then? <nosy>
pout have never tried decoupage - is it like collage? I so want a dog, but we live in a flat and I figure that one of the good things about being childless is being able to bugger off on hols at the drop of a hat.
buzzy at your MIL's comment and having to explain to her why you need Barry there too!
madness I wish I loved my job - always envious of people who do.
Forgot to wave to princess last time - it's lovely when you come back here, I miss your lovely long posts!
Apologies for missing out lots of people - better do a bit more work. To add to the brilliant rabbit idea of personal essays - I chose my username after admiring a very preppy type of colourful trousers worn by posh east coast American men that have tiny animals embroidered all over them, known as 'critter pants'. Married to MrC for three years, together for nine years. He is American, gorgeous, and what one might call the strong silent type. We're both 33. Live in Washington DC (but from the UK). I like being silly, eating salt n vinegar crisps, and writing
Oh I forgot my update. Gulp.
Me 38. Yuck. MrNelly 35, the bastard . TTC for 2.5 years. Not even the teeny tiniest sniff of a natural BFP. Blood tests a year in were, according to my GP, all completely normal. MrN has supersperm. Finally got to see NHS consultant another 9 months later who broke the news that actually FSH was high at 11. HSG clear and dildocam showed ovaries looked fine. Went private to start IVF, had an AMH which was around 1 - disastrously low really. Decided to give IVF a go anyway (though I went to a different clinic). Did Flare protocol. Looked like nothing was happening in the early stages, cue much wailing on here. However eventually got 3 eggs, all of which fertilised and had 2 good quality embryos put back. Started period the day before OTD. Blood test was very definitely negative. Meh. So got married a week later (co-incidental!), went off on a fab honeymoon and am now pretending none of this exists. Lalalalala.
The personal. We've been together for a very long time, but married for about a nanosecond. No reason for the delay other than laziness. I am an outdoorsy person (see username) - luckily so is Mr Nelly. Lots of hobbies that involve spending stupid amounts of money doing dangerous things. My main hobby is life-consuming, which has been great for stopping me turn completely nuts over TTC, but I refer to it on here as Hobbling as it would probably out me. I also have 3 cats so I am all prepared for being Cat Lady when I cut my losses here. Have lived abroad but spent most of my life in Scotland, where I am now. Love food, wine, cakes (making and eating them) and have recently taken up knitting which is rather soothing. Well I have to find something to do with my time now I don't have a wedding to organise.
Jeez, that was rather long. Clearly I like talking about ME !!
Pout/Critter the spotting is indeed a bit strange. It probably is due to the IVF but is annoying as I'd like to think my cycle was back to normal before I start again, and I don't really have time to delay. Tick tick .
GRRR about weird spotting nelly. Although I loved the update
So so sorry joy, getting the doc on the phone must be odd. Keeping stuff firmly crossed until Thurs (and beyond if we can).
Impressed with all the chat of moving on, building families one way or another etc. We've had chats about it too, but I am not really ready.
Quiet yay for euro. Can't wait for the update tomorrow!
Welcome to the delurking newbies. I am failing to keep track, maybe you can add yourselves to the growing list a page or two ago.
The me outside TTC, which I think is a great idea rabbit. I've been with lovely SB for 5 years, married for 2,5. Before him I was convinced I'd end a cat lady without a partner, because there was a LONG draught... I love my job, but both new and old jobs are incredibly googleable so you just have to take my word for it. It involves a fair bit of thinking and chatting and coffee and writing. And some more give-away bits. I have always done a fair bit of exercise and am trying to regain my running abilities, which is going very slowly because a) it is cold, b) I am injury prone and c) I am lazy. I have done a fair bit of yoga too and trying a new class tomorrow . We live in a tiny flat and when diffed I mainly panicked about twins... I love cooking, baking and taught myself to crochet a few years ago. Now I am the crazy lady who makes granny squares on a commuter train.
Hello ladies. I've been shafted by the bloody trains again and am gonna be late for a meeting, so popping onto MN, as a treat!
joy I am so incredibly sorry for you. I so so hope a miracle does happen. Do let me know if you need any RL support or help. I have no idea how you are managing work! You are one super strong lady. Seeing the GP sounds like a good idea - you don't want to hand over more ££s to the clinic. I totally know what you mean about nothing changing and work etc being same old same old. I think i feel like that as i want a big change in my life ie a baby and it's just not happening. Massive hugs and luffs to you and Roy.
pout at the canine babies. Were you having a mock ET at some point?!
euro excellent news about the stripey pee stick! I am thrilled to see natural ivf having worked for someone. Maybe that's an option for us with DS, if iui etc doesn't work.
nelly sorry about the spotting and pee stick. I bloody hate those things and my period inevitably starts as soon as I've wasted money on them. I've never seen the elusive 2nd line and doubt I will... I'm sure the spotting is your cycle getting itself back to normal. My post ivf cycles were really long too. They say it takes 3 months for your hormones to properly recover.
Welcome 10months. I lurked for ages before joining
and now I'm never off it!
rabbit I hope you are ok. Sometimes it is all just too much. Big hugs.
buz at mil! My mum offered to take me to the clinic if Dave couldn't go and I had to point out the obvious. I found it v funny, not sure she/dave did! Please could you pm me about the adoption process too? The more time goes on, the more I think we'll end up there, if they let us adopt!
critter did I read that you've decided to go for ivf. A brave decision lady and wishing you lots of good luck with it.
Waves to everyone I've missed.
Loving the non-ttc update, lemons, critter, nellie etc, critter i need to see a pic of the trousers! I've never heard of them. Here's mine... Me and Dave both 34. Married 4 years, been together 8.5 and known each other 13! We're history geeks (professionally, as well as interest-wise ), like drinking wine preferably in the south of France, reading the Guardian, and going to gigs
although we're always the eldest there now, cos everyone else our age has babies. Dave is allergic to animals, so our totally spoilt fur baby is a guinea pig. I like clothes, gin, cooking and trying to make things grow in my garden. Dave likes sport and FIFA. But I still love him to bits and he's my bestfriend which is a bloody good job seeing we can't have proper pets or kids cos of him. Nah, I wouldn't change him for the world. We will just have to have more piggy babies!
Right if anyone lurking knows me in RL, I have totally given away who I am!!
joy I'm still hoping for a miracle for you. Is Roy going to be with you on Thursday, I'm not exactly what area you are in but round here you can just turn up at EPAU, but a referral from your GP would be good. Adoption has improved in this country, will pm later.
sea MIL did mention that the woman in the bakery took two week off work after her IVF, I did wonder how they got onto the subject but just accept that most of Surrey must know by now.
nelly sorry about the annoying spotting and BFN
euro I wouldn't worry about the line not being darker, its only been 24 hours
ten nice to see you back, well you know what I mean
doll hope you are ok, not long now
madness and critter have emailed MIL but not heard back, critter love how you chose your name. Mine is a well known kiwi toy.
I did receive a lovely email from FMIL, I have to be honest and say I miss her and still wish she was my MIL, I am glad we have remained friends
Well CD17 and no ovualtion, which means I could ovulate really late and possibly have a very short LP, or that my body really just can't be bothered. I'm having too many 'odd' months now so I am thinking of stopping the trying naturally and just seeing what happens in May and getting on with adoption. I just realised I have wasted so much money on pee sticks and vitamins. I think we should just shag when we want again. I have also been feeling emotion in the last two days, email from FMIL made me cry.
me nearly 40, Barry 39, have been together nearly 5 years?? married for just over 2. He's not perfect but he is perfect for me TTC for nearly 2 years, two miscarriages, diagnosed with high nk cells and now low AHM. Starting DE IVF overseas in May and looking into adoption. I'm from the 'land of the long white cloud' Barry is part Cypriot. Thinking of moving home. Work for the NHS but love what I do just not who I do it for We both love travelling, cooking and photography. I love crafts, sewing embroidery and knitting anything like that. We have one very spoiled little kitty who has been amazing for us.Life coaching has turned my life around.
Welcome to the delurkers. Now we have some fresh blood on the thread, it is really time for a few long timers to graduate. Come on universe, sort it out!
Nelly how odd about the long time spotting. Maybe your cycle is still settling down post IVF? If you think it messes up just about every hormone level there is.
Critter it would be great if we are both on the way when we meet in DC! I had always wondered where your username came from. Now I know! The personal updates really are lovely.
joy I am so sorry that the beta isn't going the way it should. I do think buggering on as if nothing is happening with regards to work is daft. You really need to be kinder to yourself. The world will not stop turning if you call in sick and tuck yourself up in bed for as long as you need.
buzzy would you mind saving the adoption info you are sending to others somewhere? I am not ready to see it yet, but if this doesn't work out, we are planning to look into it.
Gin I had never seen a second line two days ago, and I was beginning to think I never would. However this turns out, I have overcome that particular hurdle.
I have felt very crampy this evening, like AF is imminent (it would be due today/tomorrow if EC day had been ov). Hmmm. <Thinks sticky thoughts>
thinking very sticky thoughts for you euro its just your uterus getting ready for the next 8 months
I am posting from the tent, via carrier pigeon. I mean I'm down and pissed off but not so bad I need to entirely retreat. I'm just in one hell of a grump. I have in fact been evil like this and flung some over cooked pasta almost but not quite at Hare yesterday. It is thankful he has a sense of humour. I will enthrall you with top 5 reasons for my EVILNESS later.
I am loving the glimpses of the 10 plussers in Real Life. I know it is hard to do without just punching in your full name but it has been a lovely thing to find out stuff about you lot I didn't even know after all this time. For whoever asked, I do Bikram, Ashtanga, Hatha and Forrest yoga. I just mostly do yoga! It keeps me surprisingly fit. I am a runner in my head, but since the op last year it hasn't happened as it has been a slow healer and I still have complications with the scar, which tends to rebruise very easily and hasn't knitted together very well. Ah ttc, how I love thee.
joycep i second that you are incredibly strong. And lady, if there are people taking time off for colds at your place, your days off are well overdue! I wish I could make this all ok for you and it is rotten that amount of time, emtotion and cash is not repaid fairly in this game. All the virtual support I can send to you. If you wanted a shoulder to cry on, I could be on a train in a flash. I am still hoping beyond hope that there is good news for you this week.
euro this is all so exciting. Natural ivf works. And they said you had high nk cells. I am happy for you in bucketloads and also incredibly comforted by what this means.
critter I am going to have to look up those trousers.
Nelly spotting is the devils work. See below! Come and sit in my Ye Olde Tent of Spotting. How much fun does that sound! I have cocktails. And black toilet roll!
Buzzy your posts don't half cheer me up lately. Loving the baker story. Is your MIL actually my mum?
tenmonths I remember you. I'm glad we've helped. I imagine we are read by a lot of people who don't post. Hello people!
doll how you doing lovely? Agreed that we want you to stay here, whatever happens.
lemon we talk about how we might build our family a lot. And I can engage with it very well. Until I start to think that is Might Be Real. And then i get freaked out by it all.
gin you still in train limbo? Loved your you update.
madness wave. I am curious about who you were before. Were you always madness? (senile emoticon) no need to say who you were.
I really am fed up at the moment. I know it will pass, I've had a few of these slumps in the past 2 years. But here is my countdown, sing along the old top 40 music.
At 5 - baby news from friends I don't want to hear or think about
At 4 - recurrence of glandular fever feelings. Again. it's been 14 months!
At 3 - Hatred of all talk of IVF and IUI and my consultants pathetic advice that i could have got from a builder.
At 2 - my rabbit is ill. And old. Scared.
At 1 - My womb appears to have packed in. Spotting started on cd21, 7dpo. 14dpo get period. with a nice 2 days off spotting for mentalling. Period fairly heavy for me, temps remain high even til today. Spotting continues. Get one day off and now on CD10 I appear to have my period again. This is INSANE. I felt pre-mentrual all weekend even though my period had just ended. And i didn't get PMT before actual period, or cramps during it. Temps tiny bit lower this morning and lo and behold I have a period I think. So what the hell was the big bleed? I have therefore had high temps for 38 days. I am properly disturbed by it all. I thought maybe the temps hadn't fallen because it was my period but i haven't kept a chart, I just take my temp now like it is habit. So I can't really tell what is going on. So now I think I have some awful hormonal issue on top of everything else. <runs into the street wailing> And there is NO WAY I'm diffed, I've bled way too much. I is pissed off.
But I did meet a 10 plus baby today and they were beeyootiful.
euro I think almost every grad on here has had The Scary Cramps. It must be so hard to not expect your period but remember it is very normal as your womb figures out it has a dual purpose! How exciting for your womble . Sending positive superglue thoughts.
Er, high temps for 38 days??? Weirdy bleeding patterns. Have you POAS?
No. I'm most definitely Not Pregnant. Way too much bleeding. I think maybe the high temps are because I've felt glandular fevery? I am not going to be That Woman! I think I have just had a major hormonal disaster. Poo.
Hmmm. I'm sure futility friend says 16 days of high temps = you know what.
My friend who had IVF didn't bother to test because she had a normal period. They did a test when she went for the follow up to discuss the next cycle. And guess what....
If only it would be true. But so much blood. There can surely be nothing in there. It genuinely has not occurred to me that this could be a possibility. I will remain in the I Am Entering The Menopause mindset for self preservation. If I feel something kicking in there I will cave!
And I did have 18 high temps the cp month. That did not end well.
Oh I have totally got that wrong too. I have had high temps for 24 days. 14 after ov and now 10 more. Maths was never my best thing.
rabbit some women still have periods when pregnant, I had a fair bit of bleeding at the beginning of my second pregnancy. oooh was it kittens baby
I might join you in the tent as I am not ovulating and older so must be menopausal
Ok, I'm not going to say anything more after this, because I don't want you to feel harassed, but I do think it is probably worth checking (for your own sanity now I have sewn this seed - sorry). 18 high temps=CP. 24 high temps=?
My bleed or period or whatever the fuck was going on was like a scene from Dexter. I can have a bath on my period usually with no fuss so was and made a mess everywhere . Oddly I am not blood phobic around my period, but this was pushing it. Maybe my thermometer is broken. I have booked to see GP to push for blood tests though as this isn't right and I don't think it's a lump of any sort. In the remote possibility I feel something moving I a few months time I owe you a drink .
Just popping on quickly to say Euro don't worry about the cramps, they are a Good Thing. The night before my blood test I was woken up at 2am by fierce AF-style cramps and was convinced that meant it was all over. Turns out it is your uterus stretching as the embie beds in. I have had them on and off ever since but particularly in the first 6-8 weeks. As long as cramps don't come at regular intervals like contractions and are not accompanied by bleeding you are fine.
Rabbit the bleeding does make it sound unlikely but those high temps are very suspicious and some women do bleed heavily during pregnancy - it's not uncommon to have a period-style bleed every 4 weeks. Worth eating a hob-nob just to satisfy your
mine and Euro's curiosity?
I'm I've not had time to post today. Work has been a biatch. Loving the non-ttc updates though. Hugs to all
Rabbit - goodness me, goodness me. Sorry for the weirdy cycle, I agree that poas may be useful. Oh honey, sorry for the confusion.
Joy - thinking of you lots. I am glad you feel ok today but you can cry or scream on here any time.
Euro - hooray for 2nd stripey hob nob.
Buzz I am sorry for the late ovulation, all unsettling I know. Concentrate on your plans, you are doing amazingly. You being is mum is a certainty.
Nelly - sorry to you also for the weird cycle.
Me 33, nhs worker. I like music, larking about, red wine, prosecco, chocolate, seafood, seaside, junk and vintage shops and facinated by the Kennedy dynasty.
Hello to all
Rabbit I'm certainly not going to encourage you to test after my arctic piss stick today, but I'll still watch with interest. I know what you mean though. When I started bleeding the day before my IVF test, lovely euro told me the story of her friend who had the IVF period followed by the IVF baby. But I know, for me, if it looks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's most definitely not a baby <confused metaphors>
I am now officially on CD1. Accompanied by nasty period pains. And wine.
sar I don't have a choice as it appears that every second month is a dud
Joy. I am thinking of you and sending you a big hug.
I am also in a corner quietly muttering sticky chants for euro.
Rabbits very bizarre hormonal trip continues. Today is technically cd11 and had red bleeding on and off all day which appears to now have gone back to spotting. Euro you did indeed plant a seed so I looked at lots of old charts last night. My pre ov range is 97.15-97.60 and post ov 97.75 to 98.5 temps have not fallen below 97.87 but aren't in their highest range. So I weed on an opk as that's all I have and it's a very dark positive. now, it is possible I'm about to ov in what is a higher temp bleedy cycle. But no ewcm. I don't have sore boobs or feel 'pregnant' whatever that might feel like, no boob veins! So am presuming I'm having another hormonal blip and will monitor situation. How very fucking worrying. But I won't test til I've missed another period. As nelly says, I only get ducks.
joy I'm thinking of you and really hoping there is a hb on Friday.
Euro I second Artemis on the cramps. Had the same thing for weeks. And best of sticky thoughts for you.
Waves to you all.
Joy I am thinking of you. You dont deserve this heartache. Its all been said before. You are a v strong lady. I am hoping for a miracle for you and that they find a HB on Friday.
Euro You are having the blood test today no? Hope the cramp has improved. I am wishing for a sticky bean for you. We deserve some good news on this thread.
Doll Not long till your test date?
Rabbit Sorry for the odd cycle. Weird cycles can really drive one crazy I too love bikram yoga but I stopped at the advice of my consultant. Now just jivamukti, hatha or iygenar for me.
I have loved really all your non-TTC update. Great to read about your lives and not just TTC tales.
Mine Married 3 & half years, together for almost 7. I love yoga, reading and learning. I work for myself. Am doing a masters degree (was tempted not to in case I got pregnant, thank goodness I didnt). I love cats but dont have one as Mr Sea doesnt like them. We made a deal that when I get pregnant I can have a cat and he can get a dog. Until then its just me and Mr Sea and my MIL(only now & again!)
Re TTC, I am afraid its bad news. I didnt even get to my OTD (this Sat) feel cheated. My period came this morning. I havent actually done a test yet because I have no pee pee (had already been when period arrived). I know in my heart that its a BFN though Not least because I have terrible period pains. Even though I knew the chances of getting a BFP through IUI was v small the 1st time round, its hard not to feel sad. Theres nothing like 42 cycles of BFN to make me feel really barren.
Sea - oh I am so sorry. It completely sucks but they say you need to give iui 3 or 4 goes. That's of no comfort of course but now to think about the next one.
Rabbit - thanks for all your lovely words. I must say I want to jump on a train with an official poas and give it to you. Something almightily suspicious is going on with you and it's looking exciting and intriguing. But I know carrot dangling after this long is not helpful and it's often easier to assume the worst.. I thought opk measure LH not hcg or is it the same thing? I don't know how you can stand the not knowing mind you. Really really praying that sth good is going on.
Euro - af cramping is good. It's disconcerting but often just implantation pains. I spoke to several women on otd and we all had strong period pains and of course I thought I was on my period.
Waves to everyone and thanks for being so kind and supportive. Scan tomorrow but have quit with some of the drugs as I can't hack them anymore.
Sea I'm so sorry. I can totally imagine how Iui has raised hope and expectation. Big old hand hold. This will pass. There is a big fat
yoga bolster cushion next to me in the tent if you want to pop in for an hour. Ah bikram and fertility how I've waivered. I am currently not going and haven't been in 2013 as I have spates of everyday and then not bikram and I usually lay off in dec and jan but will resume v shortly. My acu HATES me doing it and thinks it is Very Bad. I do think I'd be very wary if I did get a BFP as it is hot and so very sweaty but I LOVE it. The plan is 30 day challenge this Easter, we shall see. It is rather a time consuming sport though. Mostly I do ashtanga but I do fancy something new. What is this J yoga you speak of?! Is it the dance type one? And would you think womb yoga ridiculous?! Cos I am tempted. I also want to do anti gravity yoga this year.
Big hug joy.i loved your post about you and Roy so much. You are an amazing lady. I'll be so glad when this waity bit is over for you and you know what's going on. I'm not really understanding the opk/hcg thing. I did have a strong positive before my period in November. I should stop confusing things. I think my hormones have just shut up shop. I resolutely dont think I'm pregnant but I am worried as to what it all means. Random lh surges?
Last day of half term around here and I am doing absolutely nothing this morning. Meeting MrM for a fancy lunch later. Tis snowing here which always puts me in a good mood
as long as I don't have to drive so there will hopefully be happy tipsy posts from me later tonight.
joy I didn't do anything exciting when I was away for the year. I came to the realisation that I was spending every evening on mumsnet and I was bloody miserable so decided that if I stopped posting I might be able to give it a rest and not think about TTC every waking minute. Not long after I stopped was when I got really ill and had the surgery. I think I was in limbo for a while after that, constantly waiting for the next appointment and the next test or scan. It wasn't until we got the date for the proper lap with the specialist consultant that I felt we were moving in the right direction and that I could maybe come back and speak to people without it being all consuming in a really negative way. I also felt like i would need all the support i can get for ivf. For all of you I wish that I had come back to find only a grads thread. Will be thinking of you tomorrow xx
rabbit that is incredibly frustrating. For someone who
Pre injections bled during every cycle I totally understand how much it can mess with your head. I would probably cave and test, but I have done that before and then not trusted the result so it didn't really ease my mind at all . I'm sending some chocolates your way - shops are overflowing with them in anticipation of valentine's day. I am so not into valentine's [miserable cow emoticon]. Oh and I have always been madness. From looking back at old thread, I arrived on about day 4 which is rather sad. I hope that your rabbit is feeling better today.
euro I am thinking of you right now. Hopefully results soon. doll you can't be far off either. Sending sticky thoughts.
Big waves to everyone else. I should really go and get myself organised or I shall be going to my fancy lunch in a fleece dressing gown .
rabbit sorry the menkulling continues. You are being very restrained. A positive OPK is however a good sign one way or the other - either it is picking up HCG, or it means you are about to ov in your next cycle and everything is happening as it should.
I didn't realise quite how into yoga you are! I have done it on and off over the years, but never to that level. I like the relaxing kinds best. My gym offers ashtanga and I was doing those classes last year until they had a stand in teacher for a few weeks I couldn't stand. I dropped out and never went back. I am thinking about giving pilates a go instead. I started last year but haven't kept it up.
joy thanks for your comforting words. I don't blame you for having enough of the drugs.
sea and nelly sorry for the arrival of AF.
Oops, hit send too soon.
Madness I have wondered whether spending too much time on fertility boards is healthy, but from this one I have learned so much and had some incredible support. I considered trying to give it up for Lent, but I knew I would fail!
I had blood taken this morning, so now I am just waiting for the result. <drums fingers impatiently>. I did another pish stick this morning and got a slightly darker line than the last two days. The cramps are ongoing, but seem to be quite common around the time your period is due, so I will just continue to think sticky thoughts and try to pass the time until the clinic calls later.
euro it's all about the teacher I think. If I don't like them I don't tend to stick with them, but I'm lucky in that I have some amazing ones. How do you feel today?
madness did you get bleeding throughout you cycle? Your day sounds very lovely indeed.
My rabbit is in a bad way he's in the vet being given some meds. If they work great but hell be on them forever, if not we have to let him go. 2013 come on, get your act together.
The clinic was clearly having an efficient morning. They had told me the results would be given around 3.30-5pm. They just called. It's positive. I'm over hurdle #1. And a little shellshocked.
Get in euro!!!! And breathe. You are pregnant
Ah Euro brilliant, brilliant news. Really thrilled for you
I did a long post before and lost it. Oh well. Nothing exciting.
Lots of tights hugs and hand holds for those having a really shitty time. xxx
YES! euro Yes siree. In your FACE multiple negative cycles. [goes back to chanting sticky chants in the corner]
sea I am sorry it didn't work out. This time. With the focus on this time.
Flying visit from me to say massive congratulations to euro. I'm thrilled for you.
And I'm thinking of you joy, hoping that tomorrow brings a much deserved miracle.
Still lurking and reading - often thinking about all you lovely ladies
euro Oh gosh, you are diffed. Does it feel a bit more real yet? Ohhh, remembers that it is Valentines Day tomorrow and what lovely timing for you and MrEuro. The three of you celebrating
Like someone said upthread, from the light to the shade, joycep I am thinking of you. Friday must feel like an age away.
seaview I am also so sorry that your IUI cycle didn't work out for you this time It is crumby and unfair and I can imagine how shitty you must be feeling.
rabbits Sending you & your bunny lots of love. It is awful when our furry friends are ill, they are so much more than just pets. I am keeping my fingers crossed that all will be okay.
As for your strange temps and opk and bleeding it does sound really strange. Have you thought about going to your GP or phoning your gynae? It is probably better (assuming that they will ultimately want to investigate this) that they do the tests while all this funny business is going on. Also with all that blood you will start to feel really run down and ill. BTW I second 2013 getting it bloody act together!
Also mean't to say how much I giggled at the MILs thinking that they could stand in for other halves at the fertility clinics I know that my MIL thinks that she is the bloody authority on everything and has superhuman powers but Jeez I think even she would know that this area would be beyond her capabilities!
Yay to fancy lunches, boo to Valentines Day - I too am a misery on that front and have bought MrP the most pathetic token of cheapy chocolates. I intended on just slipping them into his work bag for him to find but it looks like he's working from home tomorrow so I will have to do the whole grand gesture of handing them over. Drats. He will also probably forget
which will secretly give me the hump or go overboard with nice flowers making me feel bad for my miserly offering Whoever thought of Valentines day????
Pout I was just thinking the same thing to catch the hormones while they are being bad! But no gp apt til weds as its half term and I'm not dying enough apparently. Ha to valentines! You are so right, you can't win. Hate refused to acknowledged valentines in our early days. One very grumpy valentines put paid to that and now I do get a nice card, though it was never discussed! And sometimes a treat.
We're not really big Vally's Day people either. Mr Euro will get a box of posh chocs and a card. I'll probably get the same.
Oh God I doctors surgeries where you almost have to anticipate being ill to get a ruddy appointment. Either that or tell some harridan of a receptionist all your personal business in the hope she will take pity on you. Do you not have an open surgery in the morning or anything
where you can start queuing up at 4.30am and might be seen by midday ?
[grin} at hate
euro you have given MrEuro the best vallies present so don't have to worry on that front.
To be fair, he did contribute to it.
I must admit to having a little chuckle over the V day stuff. Last year I had a melt down and mega strop that Mr P hadn't even bothered to get me a card. I got him a card and a token present (some jazz record that he'd wanted for ages I seem to remember). He then started to protest that he does nice stuff for me every day and that it's not all about the big gestures. Well, this prompted V day 2012 mega melt down. He then said, with panicked look in his eyes "I'll take you out for dinner" to which I responded, "where, everywhere will be bloody booked up. I'd have rather you'd cooked my favourite meal and got me a nice bottle of wine" (v. spoilt given that I get cooked for by him every night). Once out of the flat and calmer he proceeded to walk me toward Wagamama's (we used to live upstairs) at which point I got really angry and burst into tears (clues in the nickname really). Anyway, we ended up having a really rubbish meal and nasty wine in Carluccios - usually we like it in there but I think they were overly busy and we just picked a rubbish wine.
This year, I've booked a meal in a restaurant we both really like, have another LP under the bed and a card on my desk for him. I can't help but get involved. I lurve V day. Just the old romantic in me So I guess if I want it, I have to sort it. And it's a nice excuse to get dressed up and get out of the in laws - esp as we've been so busy lately. I digress. We both had a small chuckle this morning when a reminder popped up our diary this morning (that I obvs set for him in a foul and sarcastic mood last year) and he has now hot footed to town to take back a fabric sample and to randomly talk to the sofa people. I wonder if he is swinging by a card shop - or finding me a small present - I bet even with the reminder he forgets! And he does have a point about the small things every day... Maybe it's just that I'm rubbish at small things everyday and feel vindicated by planning the events more each year...
Euro he did do his part but remember you will be the one carrying over the next 8 months. I would start with the expectation of posh chocs / rewards now
Thank you all for the welcome, it is great to have somewhere to talk about some of this ttc lark as we have told no one in RL, and sometimes I want to scream!
Nelly - Sorry for spotting and random cycles, they are so frustrating particularly when as you say on every other thread you would deffo be pregnant as a result of those symptoms. I have caved recently as after having a cone biopsy I have suddenly started spotting on day 17 of my cycle, so this must be implantation bleeding right?? (sarcastic tone said at self) I have wasted good money on tests the last three cycles (this HAS to stop!). Your hobbies sound intriguing!
Critter - thanks for the advice, we actually just had a total curve ball thrown at us, I was ready for a bit of a fight about not wanting Chlomid, with NICE guidelines and all but it turns out after last SA was fine this one came back enitrely different, and the long and the short of it is we are straight on to IVF. I am pretty shocked, I havent even had an HSG or lap or anything the consultant said it wont be necessary as the SA was so bad.... Well given we are in the middle of spending twice my annual salary on building works (we have committed to the contract) this is pretty devastating news, there is no cash atm and the NHS list in my area is 3 years... brilliant.
Gin - I often think about the amount of wasted time I spend trapped on/waiting for a train,. It never fails to amaze me..Also wine drinking and gin are also two of my 'hobbies' we go to france to bring back wine every year from the Loire and Bordeux...yum dribble might have to crack a bottle this evening actually!
Buzzy - I am so jealous of people who love what they do! I am with you on the money on pee sticks and vits, having bought a CBFM in december I am a bit galled to find out that it was essentially a waste of time!
Euro - BLOODY FANTASTIC NEWS!
Rabbit - I hope that you feel less soon...totally get the pregnancy announcement from particular friends feelings, the only ttc meltdown I have had in front of DP was after a particular couple announced. I think he was genuinely shocked that I was at all bothered, but the 3 hour non stop sobfest (self indulgent) was a totally new one to him. Is your temp still up? like the dexter description.
Sea - I am sorry, that's really crap, I hope you feel less blue in time. I can only imagine how much worse it is when you raise your hopes of IUI only for AF to still arrive.
Madness - Ohh that sounds lovely enjoy your lunch!
Valenitnes day = political nightmare. DP does pretty well, funny card, small gift etc, but we dont go out for dinner, rubbish service and food and the waiters all resenting you - urgh - it is not for me. (I am not an old romantic!!ha)
SUre I have missed lots of you off, but I am off to go and research mild IVF (which is apparently what I should have. sigh really didnt think we would get here so fast)
One more quick one as I know some of you are at create/chose another route. My NHS consultant is the consultant there (or one of them dont know how that works) and has said I should go to their open day / get a free consultation - what made you choose / not choose create? Only if you have a sec to answer, no worries if not!
euro So happy for you. I actually teared up reading your post this morning.
ten I am sorry you're going straight on to IVF. It's a big thing to get your head around - it'll have taken me over six months in between my doc recommending it and me actually doing it by the time I start the process (I worked out that I should start taking the pill on April 1st. I'm sorry there's the financial stress as well. That is shit. We are here to hand hold.
joy Thinking of you. No words really - apart from that I hope you can have some peace soon. It must be exhausting, this level of stress. I too loved your description of you and Roy as 1920s couple who never row. Come on universe, sort it out!
princess love the Carluccio's tale, we've all had those evenings where everything goes wrong - it's great that the two of you laugh about it! Sorry about the inlaws. You seriously must have the patience of a saint.
lady you must be nearly due now?
pout add me to the Valentine's haters. I will get MrC a card though. I'm actually out tomorrow night so he'll be dining alone - hmm, maybe I can get him some nice book or something after work today.
rabbit how stressful with the crazy bleeding. Great that you're going to see the GP and get some answers. I haven't done yoga for ages but miss it. Less the keeping fit element and more all that lovely stretching. And it was great for my 'guns' - gave me lovely strong shoulders. I used to do jivamukti yoga in London, loads of chanting. I once realised Neve Campbell was on the mat next to me <claim to fame>.
madness hope you're enjoying your tipsy lunch - I have given up booze for Lent so have one on me!
sea I am sorry this round hasn't worked. Forgive me if you've already said, but are you thinking of IVF after a few more IUI rounds?
doll hope you are ok. Not long now.
Waves to everyone else. If you google image 'critter pants' you'll get lots of delightful images of the embroidered trews in question. Imagine a pair of men's chinos with tiny lobsters all over them . Best combined with a bow tie. Fabbo!
Hello all, I'm behind due to lots of work and life changing planning which we are fucking up really badly and I'm loosing sleep over, total mess. <sigh>
joy I hope you are ok, I'm so sorry you are going through this nightmare.
euro great news on the bloods, I didn't doubt it though. Is there reason to after a positive HPT or is it just a matter of getting it confirmed in a non-pee manner?
critter loving the critter pants story, I wondered about your username before. Thanks for the more-than-TTC idea rabbit much enjoyed.
Gin I have become allergic to cats in recent years, I make visiting my parents place a pain these days. I grew up with them and was fine, then it just appeared.
sorry you have been in the tent rabbit thanks to you and nelly for the votes to let me hang around As for the cycle craziness for the two of you, the devils work indeed. I hope you find some answers.
sea I'm so sorry to hear it didn't work out this time.
ten welcome back
My stats....Me and Ken have been married for 15 years <faints> He and the child Little Doll (who is 3) are gorgeous exotic types and I am a lily white Brit. We both work with people affected by armed conflict, live in crazy places and get to fly in helicopters n that. Little Doll does potatoes prints. I stopped taking the pill when I was 29, I'm 40 now. We have been amazingly crap at making babies and avoided AC until IVF last November which failed. Just cycled again and am pregnant
Quick YAY for euro here as well.
Thinking of you joy.
Sorry the IUI failed sea, although it is to be expected. Try to cope and carry on. IUI has fairly shitty stats but can work.
Sorry about the bloody tent rabbit. I would have peed on something by now. Hope all settles down soon (and that you'll feel something moving).
As to O-sticks versus P-sticks <watch out for the nerdy person in the room> LH and HCG are very similar. O-sticks recognise both. The reason why P-sticks are more expensive is because they target the bit specifically where LH and HCG are different.
Tail waves am going to try a new type of yoga on my way home today
doll did you just slip in that you too are preggers?!!!!!! Congratulations
What!!!!????!!! You sneaked that in there very quietly doll. Massive congratulations.
doll you are one cool cucumber lady very exciting
critter love the pants, only in America
euro great news congrats
rabbit sorry to hear about bunny Its is so hard as they are like family, no advice on the bleeding but I don't ovulate at the same time each month, and if your temps are high
sea so sorry that it didn't work this time, I felt sad after I had mine, I also had 4 eggs so couldn't understand why it would fail, big hugs
nelly sorry about AF
joy I will be thinking of you tomorrow
ten my therory is if I have to work then I want to enjoy it most of the time, I work and live in the same area so I get to see the fruits of labour alot I have quite liked my CBFM and should have stuck with just that but in a desperate hour I got the smiley face one and the cheapie internet ones
Valentines Day to me is a big made up con, we are romantic in a
sickly vomming way but I don't need a made up day to tell me when to appreciate my husband Barry and I do lots for each other during the year and I object to having to pay twice as much for stuff that I don't really want, we make each other a card and we will go out for dinner but not tomorrow night, we plan to go on Saturday.
Well CD18 and CBFM says 3 bars but no smiley face and no line on IC which is what happened last month two more weeks and I can call Brno and get on with things.
Kayla is acting like a kitty possessed, sh keeps jumping into the air like a spring lamb and now likes to sit on the back of a dining room chair trying to catch her tail
doll <cartwheels inexpertly> This is the best news ever. Am thrilled for you. YIPPEE!
I am back. And slightly tipsy
Hooray for euro and the positive confirmation and to doll - wow wow wow. Did you just test yourself today? I want all the details!!!
rabbit I had just spotting some months and bleeding on others. It was really frustrating. Some months I had to wear pads for three weeks out of every four. It often started just a few days after ovulation and definitely got in the way of regular intercourse...... In hindsight I wish that I had pushed harder for investigation. Doctors only ever wanted to try me on a different birth control pill to regulate it.
Sorry for your disappointment this month sea. I hope that you're feeling like you can bounce back for another attempt. IUI wouldn't help us so I haven't been down that road. There are others here with better advice.
In my tipsy state I shan't name check everyone. Will try to catch up tomorrow. Lunch was lovely. Very posh (whispers that it has a Michelin star) and have been looking forward to it for months as was a Christmas gift for MrM. We ate lots and nodded as if we knew what he was talking about when the wine man told us what he had chosen for us to drink. Am now inspired to try to make some souffle. Pre ivf diet be damned!!!!
thanks ladies. I feel like I have kind of 'known' for a few days in some complicated way. I have felt dodgey on and off since last Friday in a non-descript way. 'Night shift belly' is the best way I can decribe it, night shifts give you a nasty low grade pitty feeling in the stomach. By Sunday this become a pretty much permant arrangement with occasional sea sickness thrown in. Years as a barren and much past googling has taught me that these kind of 'symptoms' are possible at around 6 weeks not less than 4, then euro got her + and I said to myself there's a really one, the way it's supposed to be. My tummy wobbles were buried for a while. This morning we were in the middle of a crisis future conversation and I went and peed on an ov stick (all I had) because I 'knew' it would be + and was going to use this to lend weight to an argument (yes really, don't ask). It was +. Felt terrible all day, ran out of work for a HPT in the afternoon, peed on it at work, + straight away. Goodness, what craziness.
Doll - oh my gosh, oh my gosh, aaaaaaggghhh, you are pregnant. I am ecstatic for you.
Euro - I am giddy to hear about your positive blood test. Get in!
Ten - sorry to hear about the sa. It is frustrating indeed that ivf is now the only option. Is a repeat sa worthwhile if previous ones were good.
Madness - hooray for boozy dinners.
Rabbit - I don't know what to suggest but gp appointment is sensible. If not pregnancy, which it defo could be, maybe some sort of burst cyst? Oh rabbit, I am really sorry for the torment.
Joy - thinking of you lots and lots xx
DOLL!!! that is just bloody fantastic. My god and after so many times of symptom spotting I love that you 'knew'. I am so pleased for you, I want to give you a big fat hug!
So I just want to confirm that pondering on the odd events of the last two weeks I have eaten some hobnobs of the not striped variety. Which is ok as I'd have been frantic it was eptopic or doomed anyway. But of course whilst holding the stick I did wonder...
rabbit best to get it checked out, pity you have to wait till Wed though
Doll & Euro - !!!!!!!!!! You made my day!! So happy to read your good news! Yay! 10 plussserr BFPs! 2 come in one go! Lets have some more!
Joy Thanks so much for your kind words. I know IUI is only about one third or one fourth of an IVF in terms of chances. I tried really hard not to get my hopes up, thought I had but clearly not. I will be thinking of you tomorrow when you have your scan. You are a lovely lady. I wish only good things for you & Roy. Hand hold for tomorrow and happy to read you are taking the morning off. x
Rabbit Gladly take yoga bolster off you Jivamukti yoga is similar to astanga but its done to music and quite spiritual. They do a special focus every month. Check out their website. I love Bikram yoga too. I did 30 day challenge last year and year before. Lasted 35 days both times but it is a huge commitment and my hair fell out from over-washing. I also like kundalini yoga, a bit out there but I fine it clears my mind completely. I dont know what womb yoga is. I have watched anti-gravity at Mr Seas gym but not tempted to try yet. Would love to do a class led fertility yoga class but I have never come across any. Have you? You should check out this new doc film about yoga. http://www.breathofthegods.com/
Sweet nice to see another yogie. Om shanti. x
Thanks freedom, pout, lemon for your kind words & wishes. I means a lot. I am okay. It was my 1st go at IUI so I cant really expect much but hard to not get hopes up.
Princess I loved your Valy day stories. I too love Valy day but Mr Sea is not so keen. He says he loves me everyday and dont need a saint to tell him to be romantic.
Ten Big step to go to IVF. How do you feel about it all? Thanks for wishes. Pls share your findings on mild ivf. I am v new to AC. Is it the same as no drugs or less drugs?
Critter I love your nickname too. I googled and the pants look fun. I am planning on another 2 IUI and then will move onto IVF (possibly at ARGC). Will do next IUI straight away with no break.
Big wave to everyone I have missed.
doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a typically low key announcement. I am so, so happy for you. (The blood is the standard way of officially testing at my clinic and I refused to believe the pish sticks, so I was hanging on the result, being mental.)
ten I hate taking drugs generally and have to have a headache for hours before I will pop a paracetemol, so when the drug delivery for my NHS cycle arrived in a massive box I completely freaked out. We waited a few months and then decided to go for it, although I was never entirely comfortable with the idea. The downregging made me depressed and anxious - I was like a completely different person. It was upsetting for both of us. When they wanted me to downreg for an extra week to suit the clinic's timetable, we decided to stop there and then, investigated other options and heard about Create. If you go to the Open Day, they will tell you they go for quality rather than quantity. It makes some sense (but is obviously also a sales pitch for their method). The body is designed to pop out 1 egg a month. Forcing it to ripen 20 or whatever in one go is a massive ask. There is often a big drop off in nos. fertilised and then at every stage, so according to them, you don't end up with more viable embryos than doing mild IVF and starting with a smaller no of eggs. However, there are other clinics doing conventional IVF with higher success rates so make of that what you will. Obv the consultant has an interest in selling her services privately, but I would say there is no harm in popping along to an Open Day if you think you could be interested. I went for natural rather than mild and went into it planning on 3 cycles (which costs about the same as one full cycle at some of the more expensive clinics). Happy to answer any other questions.
joy I've been thinking of you all day. I hope you and Roy are doing ok. x
Just had to pop on and say massive congratulations to doll and euro!! This is such wonderful news and thoroughly deserved. Am also keeping everything crossed for joy and shall be thinking of you tomorrow.
It has been an eventful day in the 10 plus festival village. I raise a glass, sticking one hand out the tent, to valentine bfps and to all of us trekking onwards through the nice and positively gruelling bits of the journey.
Sea I am so excited to speak to a bikrammer! When I'm on one with it I am a bikram bore. Im well you've done the challenge. Annoyingly the times in Manc don't make it easy but I WILL do it. It makes me so pleasingly smooth do you find that? I'm all up for a bit of kundalini - do you have the maya fiennes DVD? Crazy stuff but I like it. There aren't classes here though. Check out womb yoga. Major woo-land but if you wanted to come with me I'd be up for it! Sorry everyone else for yoga gushing but I'm excited to find sea Poor sea!
Sar I think the cyst is a good theory. I feel rough as at the moment and think 3 weeks of bleeding is making me anemic as I recognise the horrible signs. So gp visit good. Does hormone disaster cycles mean ivf won't work for me? anyone? Do they check all these things beforehand?
rabbit with conventional IVF all your natural hormones are shut off and then artificial ones are added at the "right" level, so hormonal menkulness shouldn't have any effect.
I had no blood tests before my IVF (save for the compulsory HIV and hep ones). The last hormone tests I had were in May 2011, done by my GP at the first appointment! I had one blood test during, to make sure my LH wasn't surging before they were ready to collect the egg.
Thanks to everyone for their kind words. I'm still very nervous and will hang around here for a bit longer, if that is alright with all of you. I really couldn't have managed without the support I have received on this board.
doll that has for to be the classiest most low-key pregnancy announcement I've ever seen... What brilliant news, I am SO pleased for you and Euro, two BFPs in a week, hopefully the fertility gods have sorted their act out and there will soon be more! I'm just , fantastic.
My Internet connection is fucked (I believe that's the technical term) so once again I can't post properly because I make so many typos with my thumbs on the silly little phone screen it does my head in. Maybe I should give in and get an iPad (ponders tax deductibility). Hugs to Joy and fx for a miracle but I understand sometimes it's less traumatic to let go of the hope and start to process possible bad news. And Rabbit and Sea sorry you are in the tent. Passing in some lemon drizzle cake (I made a cake! It's edible! Mr A now wishes we had tried to get pregnant years ago) and virtual hugs. A doctor's appt sounds the best option rabbit, for the glandular fever symptoms and anaemia as much as the wacky cycles. I had GF as a student, it's hideous, wiped me out for nearly a year.
Right, my eyes are starting to cross too now. Apologies for random typos and autocorrect silliness. I shall be back in Internet land soon I hope and will be able to do the proper catch-up I keep promising.
I shall be all night now
Wow, doll. I'm so happy for you. I love the way you slipped it in, totally the opposite to how I would!
Euro, that's wonderful news that your blood test confirms it. Do stay on here, I'd miss you if you ran off. And doll, stay too!
Rabbit, I was going to suggest pregnancy or a cyst. I had a weird cycle a couple of years ago where I had spotting and my temps stayed high for a long while. I'm now convinced that is when my cyst first set up home. I've no proof of course. And she's been evicted now. Gp visit sounds like a good plan.
Joy, I'm thinking of you.
I wish spring would get a move on. I'm fed up of being cold. Totally done with snow and ice. Im in bed now with a hot water bottle, toasty warm for the first time today. I have an early start tomorrow so good night all x
mrsden I have had a cycle like this before right back in the first months I think just as we went to using a persona and were sloppy with it. As my entire reproductive system was scrutinised for 2 hours I've had faith all is well in there and last fannycam in August was perfect. Fingers crossed its a blip. Faced with another lap - id go crazy. Don't tell viv.
Euro you WILL stay here! Firmness. And Doll.
Sea- Sorry to hear about the bfn, I can understand how it would be such a letdown after an iui.
Doll - Congratulations! Thats wonderful news.
madness - your lunch sounds like it was great.
euro - Congratulations (again) now that it is no longer premature.
Critter - Yes DH and myself are Canadian.
Buzzy- ovulating late always sucks.
- DH and I are not doing anything for Vday
other than eat cheap chocolate the next day. I am busying myself with odd jobs to avoid worrying about our upcoming tests and month long wait for results.
Woohoo! Euro and Doll Fantastic!
A quick one to say good luck for today Joy. Will be thinking of you. Big hand hold.
Still v excited about Euro & Doll's good news. Happy happy thread news.
Rabbit - haha! I am equally excited at meeting a fellow yogi. I checked out womb yoga. Looks v different but I would def try it. It's a shame I live down sarf... I would love to come with you otherwise. Classes I found seem to be in Bristol. You must check out Jivamukti. I know they do classes oop North. Let me know when you start the bikram challenge as I might join you esp if it's around the time I take a break from TTC which I plan to after 2nd IUI. Im a big Bikram bore too - hahah! Hope the bleeding stops and you feel better soon. You def should get it checked out.
lemon - what new yoga were you trying?
Sorry for all the yoga chat. I know it's not v interesting for everyone.
Madness - lunch sounded lovely.
I agree with Mrsd, it's is just too cold now. Pls can we have spring weather!
Artemis - what a great nickname. Thanks for the support. Nice to see graduates come back on thread, just shows what a lovely place this is. Thanks for the lovely cake.. Yum.
Sweet - Keep busy to take your mind off tests and things is good. Always works for me too.
Happy St Valentines' Day for all. May your days be filled with love. x
Wow oh wow oh wow. Doll that is just the most amazing, wonderful news. Are you going in for a Vally's day blood test confirmation? So even after all these years, the miracle can still happen. I am just so happy for you . Now we need 8 months of worry free, pukey free, stress free pregnancy please. And you better stick around here too!
Euro hurrah for the blood test confirmation. So much for shredding wombs! Gosh have we ever had 2 so close together? Amazing news.
Joy I am still quietly wishing things will turn out differently for you, but either way, you know where we all are. You are (outwardly at least) handling this with such dignity, but falling apart would be totally ok too. This is just shit. I have a tiny glimmer of understanding of what you are going through (the waiting for the phone to ring is a horrid memory from my cycle), but you have just been put through so much, it's beyond unfair. You WILL get your baby though.
Oh Rabbit I'm sorry for more menkullness and non-stripey hob-nobs and stupid bleeding, and poorly real Rabbits. I so hope he has pulled through, they are so important in our lives. However in my not very educated opinion, I think something is happening in your body. The stripey hobnob a few months ago and now this; I know it probably doesn't feel like a good thing, but I reckon your body is sorting itself out.
Sorry for only partial catch-up. Need to log on to work system now but thought I'd just say hello to the newly diffed . I'm kind of anxious to be getting on with my next cycle now.
Quick waves to everyone else. Oh Sea was it you who had the crap IUI news? I'm sorry it didn't work, but as everyone else said, try try again. That's my current IVF plan too!
Doll!!!! That's incredible! Totally thrilled for you. What a fab story and Doesnt Euro and Doll show that you don't need a massive crop of eggs to get pregnant. Screw those docs who say otherwise. This has put a big smile on my face.
Omg doll, amazeballs Love the stealth announcement too. And symptoms as well! You and euro show that you don't need to produce tonnes of eggs during ivf for it to work, which backs up create's philosophy.
And hurrah euro for the +ive blood test. Hopefully you can now really believe it.
<tries to squash fear that I will be the last person on the Fred, left here talking to myself>
sea so sorry about the af arrival. Even when you know the stats, it's still hard to deal with a failed cycle.
ten was it you who was asking about create? I'm intrigued as to who your consultant is. Think I've seen every blooming dr at the clinic
and they've still not got me pregnant I chose Create mainly as they offer a low drug version of ivf. I've always reacted quite a lot to synthetic hormones eg the pill, so just had a feeling I'd over stim on normal ivf drug doses. Turns out my theory was right, as I produced lots of eggs on the low stims and nearly over stimmed on the 2nd cycle anyway! Create is also the clinic physically nearest to us, we can park there and it is a lot cheaper than other clinics. They always run late and are generally disorganised but I put up with this due to them offering mild ivf. If you have any other questions, do ask. An open day is a good idea.
rabbit so sorry you are in the tent. I am about you fur baby too and I don't even know him! I hope he pulls through. We were told ours would need to be on meds the rest of her life and that they don't really make meds for her type, but what the vet gave her seemed to sort her out, aside from the odd wheezy patch! The spotting must be a head fuck. It doesn't mean the M word is on the way though. I think princess had some mid cycle bleeding too and now she's preggers!
Waves and happy VD to everyone else! On the train so keeping it shortish.
Dave did well this morning and have me a nice arty card and a box of posh chocs. We're off to an exhibition launch tonight ie he's working and thought he'd better take me along!
I have one foot in the tent with rabbit. It feels like the cystitis that plagued me for most of last year is coming back. It ruins my life, as it means I can't drink anything other than water if I don't want to be in agony. No tea, wine or gin . Also makes me feel like all ivf has done is break me (the 1st cycle gave me it). Ah well, will have to sit on the phone for ages this arvo and try to speak to a dr about my wee bits, in front of my colleagues.
And meant to say joy thinking of you today xx
Good morning ladies and happy valentines day to you all. Here I bought you each a naff bunch of from the garage on my way in
Oh and by the way Mr P did get me a card; no present. But that's ok he's working his bollocks off to finish our house and did pick out a very pretty floral material sample for our new pouffe yesterday that he thought I'd like (a selfless act as he wanted something much more manly) and bought me a bag of crisps for after yoga last night. It is the small the things
So, Doll, I kinda heard a birdie say that you have one in the oven?! Huge congratulations - loved how you slipped that one in there, although it was given away on my "Threads your on" by the other ladies when I checked in this morning, so I didn't get the full surprise that would have been if I'd just read the thread. But I'm still delighted to hear your wonderful news. Soooooooooooo well earned too - your cowboy IVF does work then, huh! Hoorah!
So, I better go and do some work. Hot date with an Ikea kitchen designer called Doug this afternoon, so I'm only in for 3 hours (well, 2 and a half now) today.
Waves of pom pom, sparkly knobs and loves for you all. Hoping that this is just the start of the BFP 13 spree for the 10 plussers.
X post - gin it was me who had period every two weeks this time last year. It lasted for 2 months. I was really scared and it caused me to think I wasn't going to have children. Ever. It's what prompted the doc's to start investigating into why we weren't pregnant. It was a battle because we didn't fit one of their "eligible" pigeon holes for tests i.e. I had been pregnant every 12 months, but miscarried; I'd only <hollow laugh> miscarried twice and not three times; I'm under 35; we hadn't been trying for 3 years or more. Gah. It still makes me cross now that I wasn't taken seriously back then. So, we did the bloods, had the low prog scare, had the PCOS scare, had the potential early menopause scare.... Referred to the consultant in June who deemed us normal as normal can be and told me to "chill out" ().
Interestingly enough Rabbit the mid cycle bleeding happened after what I suspect was a cp. I didn't have a + pregnancy test, but my period was really late and very odd - at the time I put it down to altitude as I was skiing and I'm prone to nose bleeds and headaches when up in the Alps.
I know that you have had a really crap time of it, what with your op and all the other shenanigans last year so what I went through probably seems like childs play in comparison. However, it took a good 5 - 6 cycles for my periods to return to a very regular pattern after the mid-cycle bleed episode (I would say at least 3 - 4 months after each MC), and for + OPKs to appear. We gave up TTC from April to June and I did the brown diet and meditation and acupuncture and meditation and all during this time, which I think helped my cycles come back to norm.
Remember you have CM, regularish periods normally and are in rude health with all your yoga and healthy eating stuff. I had proper CM for the first time since being a teen the month I got pregnant, I just think that sometimes bodies go through so much and need more of a rest than our minds allow. That does not mean we give up, but try and be kind to yourself, see what the doc says and remember that your cp wasn't so long ago and your body could just be ramping up for the real deal.
Mr P likes to think that I'm an incredibly fussy person and someone who worries about the minute details of everything and that my body is the same. He reckons I needed to try out a few embryos first and have a few 'practice' eggs (like penguins) before I let the perfect one bed in. And we are just too rushed to these days to accept that bodies can't snap back over night.
But my god I understand the frustration and I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope that what I've said makes sense and isn't patronising? Big loves xxxxx
gin you will so not be the last on her. I'm sending woo shaped positive vibes for your FET
...pardon me! On her? (oo-er! ) on here, on here....
Fnar princess at being on her .
We have been through this already gin. I will be last one. You have FET for a start!!
Been lurking here since moving to the grads board last year, but just wanted to post to say a massive huge (and I mean enormous!) congratulations to Euro and Doll - you have totally made my day - it's just brilliant news - so so chuffed!
Yay for the good news, again!! I am getting more tempted by the big guns now...
Thinking of you joy. Tomorrow is d-day, isn't it? Hugs, handhold and shortbread.
Nice to see all the oldies delurk for the double valentine's bfp. I would nearly be tempted to pee on something to give to SB (but it would have to be a real fiver, because I threw out all the out of date o- and p-sticks in a fit of spring cleaning).
princess thank you so much for that. It has been a really shit two years in the baby making dept and I tend to think I'm just broken. I am sure this is just a wacky cycle, I've had them before but it all feels so much more rubbish when I just want things to be Perfect. If calculations are right going on my iPhone app old data it will be a 6 week cycle and it does make me wonder what it is with me. I have not felt truly well for a sustained amount of time since the glandular fever either and it sucks that I'm having another flare. It's not bad enough to be off work, I just feel knackered and achy and it makes me feel I'm not physically up for the job of either ttc or ivf and I have put all these time constrains on myself which doesn't help. But thank you for your message as it really has lifted me today. I hope your ikea date went well, I am imagining doug as young and hot. Should this worry me?!
gin oh bugger about the cystitis. I am sure it won't have been the ivf but could it be that you've had a low level infection that has never properly budged maybe? It was a three week course and reading Angela kilmartins book that finally sorted me out, touching everything wooden I can see. It is a truly horrible, lowering and painful illness so I offer you lemon barley water and cranberry cookies and a hug. It will get better.p
sea the challenge hinges on if I'm doing treatment or not and if I'm well or not (see above). I so want to but I don't think I would if I was having ac, it just feels a bit hot? It also needs to be when I'm quiet at work, so Easter or summer. Did you double up some days? Eek!
joyce firm hand hold, you are in my thoughts.
Big old sloppy valentine loves to all 10 plussers. I am still situated in the tent as I just feel rubbish and trapped in a situation I don't want to be in. I don't feel well enough to conceive, or have treatment, I wonder if actually for the first time ever I'm a bit properly down or if it is just my hormones buggering about as I'm still bleeding. But my temp went down by an entire degree today amazingly so maybe whatever it is is going. I do wonder if to mention to the GP about my mood but I'm a bit paranoid that I can't really afford to have anything else on my medical records that might indicate mental health issues if I want to adopt in the future. Tricky. But, I am still working, smiling and just carrying on as I guess that is all we can do in the blips. I am off for a v nice tea tonight in a non valentine fashion. Madness I soooo want to know where you went.
Just popping in to say am still here and still for euro and doll. Only a few minutes spare though so will try to be concise.
rabbit and sea I have looked into this bikram challenge. It looks absolutely crazy!!! I like my pilates and circuit training but am no fan of sweating excessively (said by someone who turns puce and sweats copiously whenever exercising) so I don't think that would be for me. I can imagine that doing a class every day for a month would most definitely help me to zap the extra stone that I feel I'm carrying though. I know that I am not overweight (size 10) but officially 15lbs heavier than when I moved to Scotland and I am not happy about it. I have a month to shift it before ivf but the lure of snacks
and expensive posh lunches full of butter and served with wine are not helping in that department. I keep swinging from wanting to feel better and healthier physically to wanting to treat myself to my favourite things to make me feel less sh*t about not being pregnant. Ah, TTC. How it messes with my head......
joy will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope that both you and Roy are holding up. You sound remarkably strong but I know that the way I come across on here is not what I am always like in rl ifyswim? Take care xx
Okay have barely mentioned anyone but have to dash. All of these positive results and visits from updiffed graduates is making me feel more optimistic about going for ivf soon. I am silencing the voice that says I'll be here last and I expect you to do the same gin and mrsd [stern emoticon]!
Waves to everyone else.
rabbit I have no time now but wanted to come a give you a hug. I'm very sorry you are in this dip.
Happy Valentines ladies
doll once again huge congratulations on your wonderful news.
joycep I will be thinking about you tomorrow
Sorry not to do a proper namecheck post and to just steam on with me, me, me but can I ask our IVF'ers a question? I just started with my first injection this morning but now it looks like MrP has a urinary tract infection, full on blood in the wee, stinging the works sigh He's going to the docs tomorrow but it seems like he will probably get antibiotics. Do you think that this cycle will be abandoned because of this trouble in the, well, trouser department? I so could fecking scream and obviously this all came to light after 5pm when everybody has gone home and left the clinic so I can't even phone and ask them today.
rabbit I'm sorry you have some crazy sh1t going on. I am sure you are not broken. This is just an odd blip. Your body has been through a huge amount in the past year.
pout well done on doing the first injection! I think all you can do for now is carry on with the jabbing for now, but I think you should speak to the clinic as soon as you can. I suspect they might want you to wait, because eggs don't freeze as well as embryos, so you would need his contribution to be in good shape to give you the best possible chance. It might depend on the type of antibiotics and how quickly they clear things up though. If you are on long protocol, you are probably around 4 weeks from EC? Most infections clear up within a week or so, so you might have enough time to turn things around before his swimmers are needed. So bascially, that waffled means I have no idea, but I wish I could help!
joy I am thinking of you, lovely.
doll how are things going? I had a bit of a pain/spotting panic this morning, but it all seems to have calmed down now. I am hoping it was just burrowing, but I still have no symptoms at all.
pout I agree with euro talk to the clinic,
just like I didn't do when Ken was taking a thousand meds for his back this round My guess is you will be ok, a week or so should clear it completely giving you enough time. A semi-educated guess, at best. Sods bloody law though, right? If it makes you feel any better, my first round we both prepared fairly well for the IVF before the cycle, this time we both drank like fishes over Christmas, didn't take supplements and Ken was on meds for the cycle itself.
nelly I haven't told me doctor yet (it's a holiday here today and I can't be bothered to find him for something that can wait). I'll see if he wants me to do bloods tomorrow. I'm fine with doing it but feel no urgency at all. euro sorry about the spotting, most likely nothing at all but I'm sure that you could do without. Honestly I feel like a bus rolled over me
and am muttering 'what have I done to myself'
pout I agree with checking with the clinic. Dave had a flu/cold type thing last cycle and when I asked, they said he'd have to be so ill he's hospitalised to affect the sperms! Having said that, he did have his lowest count ever but it didn't matter with the icsi and I think it was more due to the lack of er refreshing
wanking, before EC, as he was feeling too ill. Well done on the stabbing! Was it ok?
euro I'm sure a bit of spotting and pain is normal, esp if this is when af would have been due?
doll such strong symptoms already! Did you have 2 put back? whispers could this be twins?
joy I'm hoping you are ok and thinking of you lots at the mo.
Awww rabbits, if your hormones are all over the place, it could very well be affecting your mood. And if you do see the gp, I'm sure depression is v common amongst those who can't conceive and go on to adopt, and wouldn't effect it at all. Re feeling rubbish, could you be a bit anaemic, with all the bleeding? I am sure you are well enough to do ivf. I think ET gave me the cystitis, as I had to hold me wee for several hours and it started the day afterwards. As you say, I think it gave me an infection that never went away properly, which I killed with antibis and which has now come back, as I'm run down post flu. Bloody illnesses!
madness size 10, I wish! Your * lunch sound ace. Mmmm.
princess was the kitchen designer hot or just the date?!
Gotta dash. Vally Day luffs to all.
gin what antibis were you given for the cystitis. Getting a different one bit do the trick and knock it on the head.
On twins, no it was one, as I only had one. My Doctor was not holding out much hope as he "likes to see 3 or 4 back in someone of my age" Can you imagine my mental now had than been the case?
of course I have googled id twinning and IVF
Pout - we did the month worth of antibiotics just before ivf. Both ROy and I were ill when we started ivf. It takes 3 months for sperm to regenerate so in theory this infection (how typical) shouldn't affect his sample....well this is how i've always thought it worked but worth checking. What a nuisance. I guess it's best to check though...Now how was the first injection?
Euro - spotting is unsettling but very normal...it's not what you need.
Doll - it sounds like you have morning sickness already..whcih is agreat sign.
oh Gin not cystitis again. What on earth causes it? can you get a dose of antibiotics to clear it up? I'm really sorry , it's not what you need at all. Bloody horrible.
Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit - I feel despair on your behalf. You have had a horrendous time and now you are going through all this. Have you had a blood test to see if yuo still have glandular fever? I have to say when I had it, I went in to a very dark hole indeed - different to what I experience with ttc but i think it's the nature of the illness. It just is debilitating. And also whn the body doesn't play ball, like all this bleeding you are having, it's going to really mess with your hormones. Poor poor you. It does annoy me that we have to watch what we say to GPs because they might take our kids away or stop us from adopting. But if it gets bad , you should try and speak to someone but it probably is illness related. In the meantime, we are here to hand hold. Come and write down how you are feeling...offload - if it helps. Have you got some things to look forward to? Big squeeze.
Well today was scan day. The doc did say 'good news, there's your baby's heartbeat' and with a lot of searching, he found another heartbeat (in fact Roy saw it first) on the other twin but it was very weak and the size of the embryo wasn't as big. But and there is a massive 'but', we discussed my beta levels. He did say levels not rising properly can be a sign of chromosomal issues with the baby/ies but to let's just wait and see what today's results bring and let's see how things progress over the next week.
Anyway we walked out of the scan kind of shocked, Roy was almost in tears of happiness. He did tick me off for having been so negative and writing it off. But by mid pm, I decided to snap out of it and think positive. I think my attitude must have been dragging him down but I have found it incedibly hard to have faith in this pregnancy...purely because of those stupid little numbers. Anyway my thought was, there were 2 hb's, that is great. Now just think this is going to work.
However, this evening I was called by the clinic with the results of my beta. It has been 3 days since my last test and they still have barely moved up. The doctor on the phone said "this isn't good news". So I went back to my desk feeling like someone had kicked me. I just want to scream. I've done research and from what I can work out, people who have seen a hb but have a very slow rising hcg don't generally have a happy ending. It can indeed be a strong indicator that there are chromosomal/developmental issues. Now not every woman in the world can fall in to the same pattern so I"m just hoping that I'm an extraordinary case with slow developing babies. I really really want to have faith that this is going to happen but I am finding it impossible. I know all I can do is wait and hope for the best and I never ever imagined to see little heartbeats but it now scares me even more of losing them especially after seeing Roy sniffling whilst looking at the scan. Seriously someone knock me out and wake me up when the outcome has been decided!
Oh Joy, what an emotional rollercoaster of a day! It must have been amazing to see the heartbeats flickering away, but then the wrench of the slow-rising HCG. I can't imagine how difficult this must be. I'm here for a hand hold if you need it.
Gin I missed your post about the evil cystitis being back. I agree with getting more anitbiotics - they are the only thing that has ever shifted it for me and after my first bout ended up in an horrendously painful kidney infection, I don't take any chances.
doll at 3 or 4! Blimey. I prefer the UK's more conservative approach to these things I think!
joy I can't believe how you are still on this up and down see saw. You are such a lovely, lady and this is so horrible for you. I am thinking of you everyday. It goes without saying that if you need to talk I am here and can ping you over my telephone number if you need a RL chat day or night. Big hugs.
My stupid ishoo seems so pathetic in comparison but thank you ladies for your replies and advice. I will phone the clinic tomorrow morning.
princess big envy face at new kitchen designing
rabbit lots of hugs for you. If you are bleeding lots and glandular feverish it's no wonder you are feeling depressed. Any luck with a GP appointment? How is your lovely bunny today?
gin and joy the injections are going okay-ish though I'm sure that pulling a whitey and retching into the loo for 5 minutes afterwards is pretty pathetic of me
Well off to tend to MrP (he's never ill so he's finding it all a bit much bless him. I had to talk him out of getting a locum out for a house visit!).
just a quickie post from me,
joy sweetheart I am so sorry, waiting is hell, I am still hoping for a miracle for you, super big hugs
pout are you now downregging or stimming??
gin sorry about the UTI
rabbit I would n't worry about the 'mental health' stuff if anti depressants can help you now then talk to your GP it, you health and happiness now is what is important. I am still on my happy pills
too lazy to go to GP
According to the friend who has adopted, they expect people to have issues and aslong as you show that you have recognised and dealt with the situation they will be happy.
I don't speak to my parents/family, take happy pills and have a husband in temp work and I still believe that I am good enough to adopt. No one is perfect. You just have to put a positive spin on it all. You also have to believe in yourself.
You and Hare both have good jobs, a home, supportive families/friends, interests and hobbies and so much to offer a child. That is what you need to focus on.
Well I got to see the delightful young Ricky again today and show him my bra Barry went off and had coffee with some other woman
I have decided no more ov sticks, I have better things I can spend my money on, I have also decided that I am very happy and contented with life as it is. I have filled that 'need' and now feel a total peace with it all, no more fighting the situation what will be will be
Oh Joy. My heart just goes out to you. I don't really know what to say. I wasn't expecting you to say that there were heartbeats, so I guess in that respect today was good news, maybe? As of that moment, they were both still there, still fighting. But the HCG news must just be so horrendous. In ordinary circumstances I'd say "enjoy the moment, you are pregnant today" but with the worry about chromosomal issues hanging over you, I can see that might not be so easy. How on earth you aren't quivering in a corner I have no idea - you have my eternal respect. I wish you and Roy all the luck in world and hope this turns out to be the miracle we all want for you. Fingers so very tightly crossed.
Rabbit - you are not permanently broken. You are just in a blip. It will all sort itself out, fear not.
Euro and Doll I am still for you both.
OK it's taken hours to type that, better post!
Joy I read your post and I couldnt not write straightaway . I'm so so sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine what you and Roy are going through. Life can be so unfair.
All I can say is please take good care of yourself, try to eat and sleep well. Go to Ana Maria for a session to try calm your mind and help you breathe. And know that everyone on here is cheering for you and the twins. I hope all the love and sheer no of people here that want this to work out for you will make it a good outcome. Extraordinary things can happen. If not, know that we will be here to support you. I was always told to expect good things but prepare for the worst. I don't know if that is any use. All I know is I'm hoping with all my heart this is going to work out well. Big hand squeeze and hug xx
My thoughts are with you joy in these very difficult times. We all here to support you.
Oh joy! 2 tiny heartbeats. Gawd I felt like crying when I read that, I can't imagine how you and Roy must feel. I so so hope this works out. There is still a chance right? I have no idea how you are managing with the constant anxiety. It must be tough trying to be realistic but not too pessimistic. I would b a wreck and wouldn't know how to manage it. What happens next? Is it just a waiting game? I kinda assumed that argc did the chromosome testing of the embryos before they put them back. As Pout has said, you are a lovely lady and totally deserve for this to work out x
What a mixed bag of news joy. Massive HURRAH for the heart beats. Big sorry though for the hcg-numbers. Keeping stuff crossed for a mirable, but understand your concern.
Waves and tail feathers!
Thinking of you joy. In fact, I was thinking of you in the wee small hours this morning when something I had read when googling about low HCG levels (mine were right at the lower end of the range) came back to me - sometimes a HCG level falling or the rise slowing in a twin pregnancy could be the failure of one twin and the body adjusting from making HCG for a twin preg to a singleton preg. Maybe that could explain what is going on? I know that is not exactly ideal news, but it could be a possible explanation. I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but as it was on my mind I wanted to throw it out there. I hope that's ok.
You are being enormously strong, but don't feel that you have to be, iyswim. Take the day home and take yourself to bed and have a good cry to let it all out if that is what you feel you need. Don't feel that you must soldier on regardless if it is not doing you good.
pout what advice did you get from the clinic?
doll how are you doing?
gin are you feeling any better?
I am still struck by insomnia (awake at 4.45 this morning), although that does mean I am making rapid progress on my book... I weed on another stick this morning - the line was darker, so I am taking that to mean that my HCG levels are rising for now. I am still terrified though.
euro I too wondered about the twin thing, I had a bit of bleeding at the beginning of my second pregnancy, you'll be having your scan next week so when you see a heart beat you'll hopefully feel better about it all
joy still thinking of you
I'm at home after having the mother of all migraines
Ladies, you are the best and always full of lovely things to say. I do find your kindness overwhelming & people offering their phone numbers you are truly a wonderful bunch. I made a decision last night not to let this bother me (haha) and have booked in to acu (thanks Seaview for prompting me). No amount of worrying can change the outcome and Roy said last night he was still happy so will try and take a leaf out of his book. What will be will be and anxiety wont be helping.
Gin the Argy dont do the chromosome thing unless you pay and it costs from 2500 or something horrific. Thats PGD and Array CGH. I think i just have to sit tight. Next blood is on Monday and then i guess i would get another scan next week at about 7.5wks where they will reassess things. Their scans though are really crap and it seems the docs really struggle to see things properly im sure they have the cash to invest in a bit more high tech equipment. Im wondering whether to call my consultant on the nhs to see if she would scan me the nhs scanners are much better. How are you feeling?
Seaview lovely message thank you.
Euro thank you , i have heard exactly that and thought that was what was happening about 10 days ago. So it was a quite a surprise to see a second heartbeat albeit weak but perhaps it is manipulating the hcg. Ill take any explanation as hope! Ive spent a lot of time looking at the misdiagnosedmisscariage website where people have had wacky figures, missing heartbeats, embryos the wrong size and so many people told it would end in m/c yet people do defy the odds. And you know plenty of people have low hcg levels to begin with and it can take time for them to take off so dont worry if they say there were at the low end. Implantation could have been later. Some peoples levels just rise really slowly. So the record low for my clinic which resulted in someone having a baby was an hcg level of 8 at 15dpo. I am also waking up at 3/4am every single morning and not being able to get back to sleep. I wonder if its the steroids. Its bloody annoying as i start falling asleep at my desk in the pm. Its natural to be terrified. We have all been on this road for so long, we just are desperate for it to work out and be plain sailing.
Buzz am in awe of your attitude. If things go wrong with this pregnancy, im going to have to see some kind of coach and get a bit of what you are having.
Pout its not pathetic to pull a whitey after an injection. However, youll be surprised how quickly youll get used to it. youll be a competent junkie before you know it.
joy I can't believe that you're having to cope with all this uncertainty. You are amazingly strong. I had a lump in my throat when I read about the two heartbeats. There must be a good chance if there is a heartbeat surely? I am hoping for two miracles for you.
pout I'm sorry that mrpout is ill. I hope he feels better soon (and it doesn't affect ivf, although I'm sure it won't.)
euro my friend said that she found it impossible to sleep in the first few weeks of her pregnancy. Perhaps it's a hormone thing.
rabbits I feel about your little rabbit. I hope he's doing ok. I'm also sorry that you're feeling blue. Glandular fever is evil in the way it can keep coming back. Please do go to the GP, I know noting about adoption but I find it hard to believe that they get a GP to disclose all of your medical history. Or am I naive about this? I know you have to have a medical but isn't that to check you're not about to drop dead?
I think I need some space in the tent. I've been feeling a bit meh for the last few days. I don't know if it's ttc related or just a general fed up and feeling sorry for myself phase. Work is annoying me at the moment, I sometime day dream about being on maternity leave and then I remember that that is still a very distant prospect. It is still stupidly cold, and our boiler seems to have packed up. No hot water this morning has put me in a very bad mood. I hope DH has managed to sort it by the time I get home.
I had the post lap check up this morning at the fertility clinic. The stitches are out, hurrah. It's amazing how well the skin can heal itself. You can't see the wound where the drain was at all now, the tummy button wound is barely visible. The two on either side of pelvis are looking good. I still have a little bruising on the right but it's not too painful now. I think that's where she had to poke around to get to the cyst. Anyway, the ivf Dr is very happy with me. He did a scan, although abdominal not internal which makes a nice change, I was all ready to whip my trousers down. He said everything looks beautiful. He slipped in that my AMH is very good. I didn't even know I'd had that tested. I don't know if he means good for my age, good in relation to other women at the clinic but whatever it made me feel better. He said because it's good I don't need to worry too much about timescales, he said there is no rush. I will be on the short protocol because my AMH is good and also he said that I have a large number of follicles so I have a higher risk of ohss. We agreed that I'd start the cycle after this one which will mean going for a scan in the middle or end of march to check that there are no cysts, then I'd start on cd 1 or 2. I won't actually believe it until it happens though, because I was supposed to start before xmas. I feel like there will always be obstacles in my way. Positive mental attitude is needed. If you find one, can you send it my way please.
buzzy hope the migraine does one soon. They are the most dreadful things, totally debilitating.
rabbit you have remember that with adoption they want people who can handle situations, if you had a perfect life and never had any drama or trauma then they don't know how you will cope, so its actually best to have a past that demonstrates you can cope.
mrsd sorry you are in the tent too
joy I can pm you the website to my life coach
my head still hurts
Joy I am so pleased you've found a way to look forward, for now at least. I hope you are rewarded in the best possible way.
Pout goodness I forgot to say well done on the stabbing. It will soon become routine. What did the clinic say about MrP?
MrsDen what great news on the AMH. Those 3 letters literally still tear my heart apart. You must feel more confident now?
Buzzy I hope the migraine goes soon.
TMI but this period is very bright red and coming out fast. Does this mean anything?
And in other news, I've just had an A announcement. Not full on A* but it makes me want to cry. I'm sick of this. Make room in the tent.
On the plus side it is Friday
mrsd you have been really brave about your lap and it's wonderful that you've healed so well and that your AMH is good. It's reassuring that your body is healing and doing what it should. I'm sorry you're feeling meh - but you've taken huge leaps forward over the past couple of months and that's really good as you progress towards IVF. I have every confidence that this will be a good spring for you.
joy Add me to the list of people who felt emotional reading about the two tiny heartbeats. I think you've been extremely courageous through all this, and wise. I can understand the terror - I would be a gibbering wreck. The uncertainty must be very difficult to manage. It is wonderful that you're going to see your acupuncturist - anything that helps you feel calm right now has to be a good thing.
euro sorry you can't sleep and sorry about the worry. I do hope things settle down and you can get some rest over the weekend at least. It's been one hell of a week for you and I'm sure you're looking forward to some time to process, drink hot chocolate, and sleep in.
buzzy I am so sorry about the migraine. That's the worst. Huge sympathies. Hope you can have a calm quiet evening tonight.
rabbit I am sad about your poor furbaby. Hope you have some time to do yoga this weekend and that your little fellow is resting comfortably. And sorry you've had such a rough time recently. I am leaving some princess brown diet semi-approved coconut sorbet outside your tent.
pout what did the clinic say? Congratulations on successful injections - sorry that it made you feel crap. It does get easier! Funny what one gets used to.
doll I'm still grinning from ear to ear about your news this week. Just amazing. And about putting three or four embies back in!!
Waves to gin, lemon, sea, madness, nelly, sar, art and the rest of the gang - apols to those I have missed. I emailed my doctor to ask him how long he'd need for an IVF cycle so I can plan my holidays and to tell him about the surprise ovulation in December. He emailed back to say he could work around my schedule and that he was excited that I had spontaneously ovulated. I went in this morning for a blood test to see what's going on. No results yet, but I was really surprised at how fast he was able to book me in. So looks like I'm back on the AC horse. It's coming up to a three-day weekend here and I can't wait. Beautiful sunny weather and blue skies outside.
xpost nelly - oh I am sorry about the announcement. Deep breaths. You will get there, I know you will. <adamant> For now I am leaving a post-honeymoon pina colada with a little umbrella outside your zippy tent door flap.
<whips cocktail out of Critters hand and downs in one>. <burp emoticon>
That's fab about such quick service. What are they testing today? Progesterone? Sweet at your doc being so happy about your spontaneous ovulation .
nelly sorry about A+ announcement
critter glad your doc was pleased about your ovulation and that he is willing to work around your schedule and so quickly
nelly <shakes up another one, adds a marachino cherry and a curly straw>
I thought the doc would be annoyed with me for going rogue and not going back in to see him when I said I would so was pleasantly surprised! I don't know what they're testing today - I guess progesterone and oestrogen? He said it was 'to see what your body is doing'.
buzzy hope you're feeling better. Maybe a nice cold flannel on the forehead?
joy positive thoughts to you my love.
critter I can't quite shake it but Kayla is looking after me
awww, does kayla make a good nurse? I'm sure cats know when we're not well.
critter it's lovely that your dr was excited for you. Spontaneous ovulation does sound exciting. That's great that your dr can work around your schedule, I wonder when you'll start?
nelly sorry that you want some time in the tent, I've budged up and made room for you. I think bright red blood is ok, just means the flow is fast I think so it's fresh and not hanging around before exiting. Is it unusual for you? Boo to A pregnancy. I heard of one yesterday, it's a B one. I know they have been trying for 5 months, wail - it's not fair!
<pulls foot out of tent to make off with one of critter's cocktails>
Just wanted to say nellie my 2nd period after the ivf was exactly as you described. I was at the PILs and shit scared of getting period all over their lovely white spare room... My last one was much more, er less gushing!
Sorry about mehness mrsd (although you sound in great shape for the ivf), nellie's tent dwelling, buzz's migraine and sleeplessness. But yay critter for the nice doc. I'm going to attemp to kill the cystitis bacteria with booze tonight... [bad idea emoticon]
Oi Gin that's mine . Actually, I think beating cystitis into submission with booze is a Good Plan. *
*disclaimer. I have no medical training.
Thanks for the reassurance on the bleeding. It's definitely faster and redder than normal MrsD but suspect its just drug related as Gin says. The weird thing is I wouldn't say it's heavier, which sounds kind of contradictory (is that a confused face? They all look the same on my phone). Anyway what with the 8 days spotting and now this it was either just drug related or (and I prefer this version) my body tried to make it work this cycle. Though the non stripy hobnob would refute this. Oh well. Let's just say I was pregnant for a minute or two.
I'm glad Kayla is in charge of nurse duties Buzzy.
Kayla has been all snuggly today which helps
gin if you PM me your address I can take a look and see if I can find the amazing anti-cystitis painkillers that you can buy over the counter in the US and send you a pack. They do turn your pee sunset orange but work a charm at stopping the stinging. In the meantime, a gin fizz sounds positively medicinal! Actually when I was in Florida they made an amazing gin cocktail with tea (no milk, obvs!) orange and lemon peel muddled in sugar, gin, vodka, and soda water. It was called 'The Third Man' and was divine. Recipe (with insanely large quantities) here... I might try to make it for my next party.
Sorry nelly about the gory period. When do you go for cycle number two?
buzzy a snuggly cat sounds like an excellent hangover cure.
mrsd I'm not sure when I would start - would be lovely if you and I were cycle buddies. Would love a paw to cling to!
my favourite very cheesy early 2000s reggae (inspired by the pina colada idea) and working on a report... four more hours til the weekend!
Joy - my heart breaks to hear of the ongoing stress that you and Roy are under. But there is hope, and reason to be hopeful. Seeing those 2 heartbeats must have been awesome yet so frightening. I agree with others, I don't know how you are marching in to work each day - much respect to you lady. I am sorry I wasn't around to post yesterday but my thoughts are with you many times each day at the moment - that is honestly true. I think your positive attitude is brill. You may as well relax a little whislt you are waiting and try to distract yourselves the best you can. Maybe consider a sneaky cinema trip or walk in the park etc. The acu idea is brilliany too. Kepp going, hang on in there lovely lovely Joy. xxxxxxxxxx
Den - sorry you are a little in the tent too. I know exactly what you mean about day dreaming about being on maternity leave. I regularly (and not in an on purpose way) day dream of my home water birth and giving birth to a baby boy. Sigh. Great news about the scan and amh. No stopping you now Den - your turn is just around the corner.
Oh Nelly - I am so sorry for the a+ announcement, what a shitter. Big hand holds and passing the wine as a cocktail chaser.
Pout - well done on the stabbings and sorry for the stress about Mr Pout's 'poorlyness'. I wonder if antibiotics may even be a good thing and give the old swimmers a bit of a spring clean? Keep plodding on with it my lovely. It is all very promising. xx
Gin - sorry to hear you have been on antibiotics too - it never rains, ey? How are you feeling now? And how are you feeling generally about fet and stuff?
Euro - gosh I read about the spotting. I think more than 30% of women do spot in early pregnancy. I know that doesn't take the fear away but things still sound normal. I hope you manage to get a bit more sleep.
Rabbit - big hugs, and I can hug you as I am in the tent too, more about that later. Right, you have glandular fever and a weird hormonal cycle thing going on - it is bound to play havoc with your mood and mental health. I am 100% sure things will settle down. But do you know what - there is no harm in telling the Dr either. Buzzy has some wise words about how this would have no negative impact on your records if required for future use. Let us know how you got on. Sorry for the poorly furry freind too - not nice at all.
Buzz - ouch to the migraine. Hope you can relax this weekend and feel better very soon. I can't believe how close you are to Brno.
Nelly - enjoy the long sunny weekend. Spontanious ovulation is a great sign as it shows you body needs a little bit of help only and has great potential for AC.
OK self indulgent moan alert coming up......I am in the tent big style. I was convinced I would be posting about another valentine BFP. We were really excitied as this post lap cycle has been really different. I have no doubts I became pregnant this month and experienced implantation but the hob nob says otherwise. At 6dpo I had zappy tingles followed by dull achy cramps radiating from the ovary and then in to the womb followed by stingy womb pains the next day - exactly as they describe on the countdown to pregnancy type websites. I have had ongoing ovary pain from both ovaries, sore (but not agnony boobs), throbbing cervix type pain, swollen inner vaginal walls (sorry, gross) mild cramps at 10 dpo and mild sea sickness twice. But BFN and now I sit and await AF. Even though these symptoms are not as strong as the time I really was pregnant, my last pregnany was abnormal and the symptoms were exadurated by 100 which I now know in hine sight indicated something was very a miss.
I sobbed for 3 hours last night. I didn't realise how much emphasis I had placed on my post operation body. Something was different this month. DH said yesterday that he didn't feel we should do another round of IVF (just use the FETs we have left). Partly because in thoery we shouldn't need IVF based on lap results and partly because we have produced many top quality blastocysys already and we still can't get them to stick. Although he said if I wanted to do do IVF again, he would. In my heart of hearts I am not sure I see us going for it again after the FET.
Somewhere deep inside it feels like we are coming to the end of something. After nearly 3 years of ttc and failed IVF and many natural cycles, alternative treatments etc I don't know what else to do. We are not going to stop trying but I fear we have much chance of a baby. Please just let me say this out loud - I had perfect fertility which was damaged by my miscarried baby. This is a rare thing and an unfair thing and I have to live with this forever. It makes me very sad. I am also very embarressed.
Adoption isn't an option for us - partly because our hearts just aren't it and and partly because they would never let us adopt a baby anyway (DH's age and our age gap). Although they would probably let us adopt a 10 year old I guess. I know I am being premature, we still have FET next month and a post operative body in general, but I am feeling sad, humiliated and beaten.
Hope you don't mind my moans and self pity. Just feeling down. Will be ok. xx
oops - meant Critter not Nelly in the sunshine and spontanious ovulation - sorry gals.
sar big hugs sweetpea, is it too early to be sure, when did you ovulate?? As for adoption the rules have changed quite alot recently so you would need to find out if your age would be an issue
sar just popping back to give you a pink girly cocktail too and a tail feather fluff. Remember when princess's brown diet ended and we were all hoping she'd get pregnant the first month? And then she wasn't, and she wasn't again the month after that - but then she did get pregnant. It hasn't happened this month but that doesn't mean that it won't happen full stop. You have the FET coming up - one step at a time. You don't have to decide anything right this moment. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And huge paw squeeze - I know you're going through so much sadness and it's bloody hard. Really thinking of you - you will get through this. And you will get your little one.
Just spoke to the clinic - my hormone levels are all low, so nothing's happening. I would start now but as am going on hols at Easter they said it might be tight, so better to wait and start later. So I'm going to go back in for another baseline blood test on March 26th and start taking the pill then.
critter sorry the results were low but yay to starting in March
Big squeeze for sar you will get there, I know it.
critter we might be cycling together if you have your scan in march too. I can stretch my paw over the pond to you. Will you be doing long protocol? Why do you have to take the pill first? Is it to stop cysts forming? I'm sorry that your hormones are low, was it progesterone they checked?
mrsd it's an excellent question and I don't actually know why I would be on the pill first - I'm ashamed to say that I didn't ask . It would be three weeks of the pill, with injections to downreg starting the third week. All a bit confusing and I probably ought to have a clearer idea of why I would be LP, but am assuming it's to do with my PCOS. They checked progesterone and oestrogen and both were low. It's ok, I don't mind. It kind of takes the pressure off to be 'outsourcing' the conception part of my sex life like this. I guess I'll be doing the egg retrieval and transfer around the beginning of May... would be lovely to have your transatlantic paw to clutch.
I reckon outsourcing is the way to go. It does take the pressure off. Today, I had a good look at all the other couples in the waiting room (my apt was 30 mins late again so I had plenty of time) and my conclusion is that the ac bunch are normal, attractive, well dressed and sort of cool people. So, I'm happy to be part of that. My confidence had been so dented by this big thing I couldn't manage to do that I'd started to think I wasn't normal. But looking at all these lovely people today, I thought they're normal and ttc is not who they are. There was a couple who had just got lovely news, it was nice to see their joy and the dr congratulating them and wishing them a great weekend as he said goodbye (the dr walks you out to reception, I have no idea why so everyone gets to hear the parting words) there was another couple who obviously had been given bad news, she was in tears and I really wanted to go over and give her a hug.
I'm rambling, sorry. Oh, critter my dr has a faux mahogany desk. It's nearly as big as the room though, and he had a lovely vase of tulips that sort of made me smile.i wonder of it was a valentines gift.
Oh Sar, lovely lovely Sar. I echo what Critter said. There are no rules that say you need to make a plan and stick to it. Just one step at a time. Sometimes, yes, it's helpful to stop, take a step back, and see whether you are still on a path that feels right for you. But you don't need to make decisions that are cast in stone. If you want to step off the train, you can do so at any time you choose. But you don't need to set that in advance. You will know when the time is right. Open Heart, remember . Also...AF hasn't arrived yet? And sometimes sticks don't tell the story exactly the way we expect. And also, also.... I know it's hard to remember, but lots of otherwise normally fertile couples have months where an embryo implants but it's not quite top notch. It's just so much harder for us, because where for the normals that might mean 3 months of failed cycles, for us it takes 3/5/10 years to achieve the same rate. But for all you know, the lap has done it's job, and this month was just one of those "not quite right" months, where next one will sort it out. There's the FET too, so all is not lost. Big paw squeeze.
Critter - I'm sorry about the bloods. I was reflecting on this earlier and thinking of you. I often feel very down when I think about my AMH, and my age, wish I'd started so much earlier; I get very "woe is me" about it. But the sad truth is, it doesn't matter why we aren't getting pregnant, it's as tough for all of us. The fact you don't ovulate is such a ridiculous blocker, and you are so upbeat about it all, you have my utmost admiration. But the great thing is that ovulation problems are really surmountable, and I believe IVF is just a formality to getting pregnant for you Little baby critter dungarees by early in 2014 I reckon.
We are watching the most ridiculously rubbish film this evening, Aliens are invading Hawaii dontcha know .
Wank! Just had a birth announcement. Yet another of our favourite baby names used. And by a couple that got married about 15 months after us (and got together many years after us). Arsebiscuits. Sorry for all the other crappy announcements people are getting. I know the name thing pales in comparison to some of them - it is a B- announcement rather than an A+!
nelly according to my acu lady, that is a good thing. My periods used to be 7-9 days with a long slow tail. She worked it get it to about 5 days, of which two were ridiculously heavy. I was not sure that it was an improvement from my point of view, but she seemed happy! Apparently slow, brown, clotty bleeding is bad, fast, red bleeding is good (at least from a Chinese medicine point of view).
sarlat I'm sorry to hear you are feeling low. Has AF arrrived? I suspect you are experiencing a horrible hormonal dip, exacerbated by the hope from it being a post-lap cycle. Your emotions will lift in a few days. You just need to hide in the tent until then!
critter sorry your hormones were low, but it's great that you will get a nice holiday before starting and that you have a plan. (I like having a plan.) I'll be there in April to offer a bit of RL handholding!
BTW, it was standard protocol at my NHS clinic to take the Pill from day 1-20 and then start the downregging drugs on day 21. My clinic told me to skip the Pill and just start on day 21 because I had had to stop the Pill twice when I was younger because I had symptoms of blood clots (and I was then advised not to take it again). Other clinics do long protocol the way I did it, starting on day 21. It's all about shutting down the hormones, just different ways of getting there I think. I have quite negative views after my experience and Create saying LP was often used for the convenience of clinic timing, but I think it can help the clinic control hormone levels where there is a tendency to overstim, e.g. with PCOS. But some clinics (including my old one) do it for everyone regardless of circumstances, which I disapprove of now I have looked into it a bit more.
critter and mrsd I think I will be cycling with you two
euro I still plan to use the baby name that my ex husband stole from me
mrsd I know exactly what you mean about AC waiting rooms. I think everyone is sneaking looks at one another and drawing the same conclusion.
nelly I'm astonished Mr Euro hasn't made me watch that. It sounds like his kind of
It's not on TV euro which makes it even worse .
Arsebiscuits indeed on the name stealing, but in a few months you can do some of your own! Good to know about the bleeding change being a good thing - although I don't normally have too much of a tail. And of course, I'd really rather there was none at all .
Did someone ask me about cycle 2 upthread? We go in next week for our (belated, due to wedding/honeymoon) review of the previous round, at which I am going to say I don't want the norethisterone, and I do want progesterone support (I had an ovitrelle injection on 7DPEC). Other than that, I want to have a more normal next cycle, and to start again the one after.
Buzzy, I'll stretch my other paw over the north sea to you.
Euro, my names have all been snatched by people who probably started ttc a long time after me. It's so frustrating. You'll get to name your baby soon enough, how are you feeling? Has it sunk in yet?
Nelly, will you move on to ivf no 2 soon then?
Doll, did you have two embryos put in?
I still don't really understand the protocols. The dr said I would be on short protocol because I'd be more likely to be over stimulated on the long one. He also said that because he thinks I have good egg reserve that my outcome with short would be just as good. It's all confusing though.
Yes MrsDen, hopefully after my next period. But we are a bit skint after the wedding/honeymoon which does impact it somewhat. But may well be similar timing to you/critter/buzzy, and others?
Hello all, I missed alot and I'm sorry to see so many tent dwellers. Although critter the drinks are a nice touch. I've now got a cold, the first all year. euro early waking is a thing in pregnancy, I had it well before just from worry, and now have a double dose. Dr Rock was chilled out when I called to tell him yesterday. I'll book scan next week.
No mrsden still just one put in there!
So it's probably not twins then doll, I wondered when you said you had strong symptoms early on.
Nelly, I know what you mean about the cost. We don't get a free go, but we get 3 at 50%. Each cycle will cost us about 1500euro. It's cheaper than the uk I think. Our clinic does sometimes offer free cycles for taking part in trials. They have one at the minute to test a new stimming drug, but they want women with lower amh than mine.
Critter - thank you for your comforting words, I know you are right about normal couples not conceiving every month. I just feel so gutted as it felt different this month.
Euro - hormone dip is correct im sure, I am 14dpo and another bfn this morning. Iam fed up.
Den - I would take the short protocol any day. Very exciting times ahead for you. Xx
Buzx - you know how kind you have been to me dont you, thank you.
Rabbit - how did the gp visit go? Are you ok?
I am in sadville, but going to hairdresser now which is nice.
Sar, I'm always in sadville just before af. I blame the hormones. I start to feel better once af arrives which is crazy really. Are you sure it hasn't worked this month? There's always hope whilst af stays away. You've reminded me to book a hair appointment, are you going for a change of style?
sarlat I'm so sorry that you are feeling so low. There is nothing like a "promising" cycle turning to shit to drag you right down & set off all manner of negative thoughts. You're so right that it isn't fair and you deserve a lucky break (but like nelly said, you will get there. Us ladies on here just like to take the scenic route!). I hope that your trip to the hairdressers cheers you up a bit. When I feel crushed by another failed cycle I try and focus on how my period will be over within a week and then it's only a few more days before we're gearing up for another ovulation and another shot at the prize. Soon you will be mentalling over a new cycle and this one will be a dim and distant memory Big hugs though sarlat
nelly Sorry about the A* announcement. All the period talk just makes me worry. I'm down to a period lasting just a day and a half and mainly brown gunk That can't be good. It would make many woo doctors faint in shock I imagine!!!
critter woo hoo about ovulation and helpful doctors appointment. Enjoy your long weekend.
mrsd so glad that you are getting over the lap so well. Sorry about another preggo announcement. I decided to go all masochistic on myself the other day and logged onto FB for the first time in ages. It made me remember why I don't bother with it. I was particularly peeved about constant updates from a new mum regaling us about her early afternoon wine o'clocks. Also the news feed was awash with kiddie birthday party photos and births of siblings. Also I found I was getting really upset about how cliquey it seems to be when you become a mum and how when something is posted all these other mums pile in and offer advice or "ohhhh I know. Little Willy does exactly that" comments. I might never be part of that dynamic.
gin I hope that the booze killed your cystitis
euro another announcement - they always seem to come in clusters on here. Sorry about the name stealing thing. Just console yourself with the thought that you will choose something much more discerning and unusual for your bubs
I called the clinic yesterday and they don't think that MrP falling ill will be a problem though we will have to keep them updated. We are hoping that his antibiotics are the right ones for the type of infection and will find out on Monday. Also praying that it is just a kidney infection and not stones or something requiring a hospital visit. I just can't believe that this has happened now just to throw some more worry and stress into the mix.
Injecting is getting better at this end though I have had a constant headache since starting. I'm not sure whether this is the drugs or my usual menstrual feeling like shit thing though the headaches feel more stabby than usual. I did not pull a whitey this morning either - whoop!
doll the cold is probably a good sign - your body's immune system is a bit suppressed to let the foreign DNA in the embryo implant. I think it's quite common to come down with something at this point. Do you get an early scan?
I googled yesterday and discovered that insomnia is really common. This morning it was even earlier - 3am . I did an hour or so of work and then managed to get back to sleep. Thankfully my work is really quite soporific!
sarlat the hormone dip around the time of arrival of AF is so cruel - just when you are feeling at your lowest, mother nature comes along and gives you a big slap around the chops. Meh. But critter is absolutely right. It is normal for it to take a few months, even in the fertile, so don't despair. You may well still get a post-lap BFP.
mrsd 1500 euros a pop is really quite good. The cheapest you can find a conventional cycle here is about £3500, and many clinics are far more expensive than that. The UK always seems to get a raw deal!
It hasn't quite sunk in yet. I have yet to be able to bring myself to use the P word in reference to myself. I don't want to wish sickness on myself, but I think if I were throwing up, or had the metallic taste or something, it might all seem more real, but I just don't feel "p" at all.
Ohh mean't to say buzzy I hope that your migraine has gone today. Also it made me think to tell you that I went to the opticians last weekend for a routine eye test and found that I have astigmatism. While it doesn't affect your sight per se it just puts your eyes under added strain and can cause migraines. It just made me wonder whether you have it too? I'm getting glasses just to wear for concentrating on things like the TV or sewing and when my eyes feel strained or when I have a headache. Just a thought
pout are you on burserelin? If so, headaches are the most common side effect (and about the only one I didn't get - I was ticking off the rest of the long list in the box). You can take paracetemol if you are suffering. I'm glad the injecting is getting a little easier. I think once you get over the idea of sticking a needle through your skin the actual practicality of it isn't too bad.
euro Yes, it's Bureselin. Headaches are the one side effect I really, really didn't want! I've been taking aspirin because the headaches feel a lot like migraine. Is that bad in an IVF cycle? I was thinking that given we're not at the follie stage that it would be okay. Shit, maybe aspirin is a bad idea.
You're right about the mental barrier being the actually sticking the needle in. It was never about the potential pain for me just the leap from picking up the syringe and pushing it in. It is getting easier each time though I still can't think about it all too much either during or throughout the day!
Oops burserelin...I prefer my spelling & pronunciation of it!
I'd check with your clinic re: aspirin, particularly as you get close to EC, because it thins the blood and you don't want the risk of a lot of bleeding when someone is poking around your fanjo and ovaries. My clinic actually asks you to take low dose aspirin from EC onwards (which I am doing) as there is a theory that it aids implantation. Ibruprofen is bad because it can inhibit ovulation. I know that paracetemol is generally considered fine though (and I am sure aspirin is too, so far before EC).
Thanks euro I will ask the clinic. I'm just starting to realise how little I have prepared for the cycle and how I should have asked way more questions. It's not like I didn't have months and months to think of these things! I am such a muppet.
You made me laugh about not wanting to mention the "P" word. Is MrEuro allowed to use it?
Neither of us is using it!
TBH, I learned far more about AC from these boards and random googling than questioning my clinic.
1500euro is what we have to pay, the other 1500 is paid by the insurance. So a cycle costs 3000euro. If we need a fourth cycle then we will have to pay 3000.
Sorry about the headaches pout. Are you in the downregging stage now? Is mrpout feeling any better?
Taking the scenic route has made me chuckle, pout. As nice as these back lanes are, I'd like to get back on the highway now.
mrsd Day three of very first injections so I guess that is downregging (see I really haven't asked enough questions!) I think the clinic described it as shutting things down so they can take control???
Thanks for asking after MrP. He's still pretty rough but my God is he milking it! I have never made so many hot water bottles and cocoas & I'm running backwards and forwards fetching glasses of water and blankets. It makes me die really when I think back to my lap and how he managed to make me 2 poached eggs and one cup of tea the whole time I don't think it helps that secretly (and obviously really, hugely, massively irrationally) I'm peed off that he waits 14 years and "decides" to get sick the day we start our IVF cycle
Typical man pout, bless him! Hopefully the drugs will kick in soon and he'll be better . I think you must be on the long protocol, so the drugs you're taking now shuts your ovaries down, then you'll take a different drug to fire then up again.
This place has been busy lately and I'm falling behind!
Having a slow morning before heading to my own hair appointment this afternoon. We can both feel pruned and shiny this afternoon sar. I am so sorry that you are feeling low. I am in a different situation but had been hoping for the post lap pregnancy before they told me I needed to go on the drugs. The constant cycle of hope and disappointment is so draining. I really am pleased to be getting a break from it, although frightened that ivf is our only way of getting pregnant in the immediate future. I won't be kept on these drugs long term though so if ivf doesn't work there may well be a chance of a miraculous bfp in my post ivf future..... Try to look forward positively -- says me trying not to feed into menkulling about the fact that your Af isn't actually here yet--
Hope you're alright joy. I can't imagine what seeings hbs must have been like. You and Roy are doing so well xx
pout boo to headaches but well done for getting the hang of injections. I also get irrationally angry with MrM for getting sick at inopportune times. He also does the full on man flu act whenever he has a sniffle. I am sympathetic..... To a point. The antibs should kick in quickly and make him feel much better.
I will be joining you all mrsd buzzy critter nelly with ivf at end of march/beginning of April. Will be good to have a bunch of us.
I hope things are brighter today rabbit and that the visit to the GP was okay.
Alright need to get a move on. Waves to euro gin doll sea freedom and everyone else that I have inevitably missed.
Yep, that's the long protocol where they shut you down before ramping your ovaries up to produce the eggs.
pout the timing is awful isn't it! I can't believe you are waiting on him so much when you are downregging yourself! I hope he picks up soon.
err, the running backwards and forwards after MrP stopped abruptly about an hour ago when I fucked up my leg!!!!!!!???????? It was one of those common hopping from foot to foot, shuffling to get into jeans that are too tight
sporting injuries! Something made a ripping sound (not my jeans unfortunately) and then there was a searing pain in my leg. I now can't put any weight on it and had to crawl down the stairs on my bottom. Hells bells. [arghhhhh face]
madness How is the hair? To be fair MrP is properly ill which is why I am actually being an uber bitch for being secretly pissed off If it was the usual man cold I would have had words by now!
Oh no! I hope you are ok, pout. What a pair you make this weekend. <Strokes poorly heads>
pout you need to train the dogs to look after you two, just think you look back and laugh at this when you tell your kids Migraine is better this afternoon so hoping it has past as
a) i'm running out of drugs
b) going out tonight and tomorrow
I do have my eyes tested regularly and do have glasses but mainly for reading craftwork computers etc, I have been using them alot recently but maybe should wear them more. My eyes haven't changed that much over the years, one is slightly long the other is slightly short sighted
sar big hugs, you really have to believe in yourself and that you will reach your goal somehow, you are such a lovely person, you have a wonderful husband, a great job and if you become an aunt before you become a mum then you'll be fabulous at that too, don't let the dear take over,
its nice to know that there will be a few of us doing IVF at the same time, I know my EC is on 06/05, so I have to call to get my protocol 2 months before.
mrsd stretching out my little paw too, that is a good price for IVF, hence why we are going 'abroad' for ours
rabbit I have yummy carrot cake to offer you in the tent
joy thinking of you lovely lady
well i'm a bit miffed as there is no rugby on as its stupid FA Cup
stupid faggot football
I'm going to try to catch up but bound to miss something important, apologies now if I do.
Pout well done on the stabbing. You'll get used to it! I was surprised to find it hurt less than I expected but still there was something grim about sticking a needle into myself. Headaches are a side effect of the buserelin. I felt really low on it but nowhere near as bad as Euro did, everyone is different. It can also delay your period, mine was late, light and went on for ages, so don't be surprised if that happens. Sorry about Mr P being ill - and your leg! How is it now? you haven't snapped a tendon or something have you? that's agony.
Euro I didn't use the P word about myself until I was about 10 weeks and had to tell the gym instructor. It felt weird saying it, and it still does, in fact i am reluctant to tell people even though we are past the 12 week mark. I think it's different for those of us who have had a tough time getting there. i am immensely grateful and still surprised at being P but that doesn't mean I want the world to know. I am keeping it very low key which is getting me some earache off my mum.
Buzz sorry you've still got a migraine, you do seem to suffer from them an awful lot. Pout may have something with the sight suggestion. I had to admit my glasses were no longer optional several years ago and the random headaches I'd been having magically stopped - they were never migraines though.
joy thinking about you and Roy. Amazing to see two heartbeats but so scary to still have the worry about the bloods. i do wonder though, how many women who have conceived without AC have their hormone levels scrutinised to that extent? I wonder what version of 'normal' the docs are comparing you to. Fingers crossed you are just a slow riser on the hormone front and the little beans hang in there. Hope you are able to relax this weekend.
Sar I'm sorry you're feeling low. The cycles where things seem different are the pits. I was reading recently about the number of conceptions that don't make it - ie sperm meets egg but things go wrong and the woman has a period as normal and often doesn't even know - and it's a really high percentage, something like 30 or 40%. That happens to everyone, even the instadiffers, and it doesn't mean there is something wrong. Your lap will have made a difference, you just need to give it time, but it's hard. Hugs and cake
Waves to the March/April IVFers. It's great that a bunch of you will be going through it together. It really helped to have Doll and nelly on a similar timescale to me to hand-hold.
Critter your Third Man cocktail sounds amazing. I'm putting that on my list for when I'm allowed to drink cocktails again. I have a regular cocktail buddy, she's now a tea and cake buddy, I'm looking forward to being able to go out and drink mojitos again though I fear I may fall over at the first sniff.
Mrsd I did at you checking out the other normals in the waiting room, I did exactly the same thing. MrA was peering at the receptionist's screen at people's dates of birth and I was relieved to find I wasn't the oldest there.
Gin so sorry about the evil cystitis. It probably was a side-effect of the clinic fiddling about then not letting you wee. Rabbit's anti-cystitis tips (lots of water, showering before sex, the
disgusting bicarb in half a pint of water the second you feel signs) really help. But I'm sure a strong G&T will help too
Rabbit and Nelly I'm posting cakes and a good single malt into the tent. Sorry about the A* Nelly, that's crap. Rabbit did you see the doctor? How is your fur baby? It's scary when they are ill. Our old kitty was really poorly a few years ago, had an infection that sent her wonky but we thought (thanks Dr Google) that she might have some sort of brain tumour. Antibiotics miraculously cured her but I have never seen Mr A so upset. She is part of the family.
I'd better go rescue tea from the oven (MrA is out and when left to my own devices I have a bad habit of burning things). Waves and tail feather shakes to everyone, I won't try to name check as i am bound to inadvertently forget someone, so will just wave sparkly knobs enthusiastically at you all, happy weekends everyone
Art I'm also a burner. I'm not a bad cook, but easily distracted!
How are you feeling now? The 2nd tri is supposed to be the "easiest" isn't it?
Joy I'm thinking of you.
Gin I hope you are feeling better.
buzz I suffered from migraines as a teen and then had one stonker when I was on Letrozole this time last year, so I am sure they are hormonal for me. They are dreadful, so you have my sympathy!
doll how are you doing? I had my first teeny tiny hint of nausea this afternoon. I'm not sure I would have noticed it if I hadn't been watching out for it. I still have the early waking (getting worse), and I reckon my boobs have gone up a size - I am spilling out of my bras!
Morning lovely 10+ers!
I haven't got the brain-space for a proper catch up, but how are you all?!
Thinking of the newly and very diffed, the stabbers, the waiters, the peerers at other couples in the waiting room (we do that too, so I reckon everone does, I had a really nice chat with the girl I shared a room with post-lap about IF shit), those in the tent (have some tea and biscuits before you go back onto cocktails) etc.
Here the news is AF arrived with a vengance early this morning and I feel decidedly rough
because I convinced myself we'd managed it naturally but hey. It is Sunday and I am not going to work, and am about to convince SB to come and play outside.
Art - thank you for those stats. I guess the emotions of the situation and 3 long years are getting to me. I really appreciate your comments in response to my sadness and and those from others too. Its helpful to be reminded that instadiffs have it stacked against them too. Where would I be without you ladies.
Euro - great news about the increased cup size and nausea.
Doll - you ok honey? Is the good news sinking in.
Joy - hope you are ok. xx
Pout - oh my goodness, what the hell happened to you two this weekend? Crikey - you couldn't write it. Hope the leg is less hurty and DH is on the mend - ouch!
Lemon - we are AF / " thought I was up the duff twins". Mine came over night with a vengance too and hurt like hell. I guess I need to remember that its only 5 weeks since I was on the operating table having nearly 2 hours worth of surgery. What was it that made you think you might have cracked it this month Lemon? - did you have some symptoms or was it more a feeling? Big hugs I know how horrid it is. I felt implantation - damn sure of it, but AF arrived as prompt as ever, the bitch.
So I am still feeling rotten although now AF is here at least the uncertainty is over. I am feeling quite "meh" and to be honest very "waaaaah" and quite shitty indeed. Dh feels the same. We feel like we are always putting on a smile for others and pretending. I'm sure others here can identify with that. We have some good frieds coming over in an hour for a meal - the chicken, butternut squash and rosemary casserole is simmering away as I type. It is the couple where the guy announced at a night out that DH "knows his way around the masturbatorium" . The wife is lovely and he is usually nice enough but gobby. Just can't be bothered though. I feel exposed, some people know too much. I can't be bothered to explain where we are up to. They can't possibly get it. Wish some people didn't know about the IVF and surgery etc, makes it harder to pretend we are not focusing on ttc which is what I want people to think. Sorry feeling very sorry for myself. I have been invited to more social events during the last and next few weeks than I have been invited to in 10 years. I am not ungrateful and realise not everyone has this, but I am in a mood to go to our favourite seaside place, each chips and choc lick and hide away. Not make small talk with 'concerned and pitiful' looking relatives and freinds.
Ok am off, need to stir the casserole.
Wishing the newly and not so newly pregnant ladies lots of healthy but non too unpleasant symptoms and I seriously hope all you ladies are enjoying your well deserved pregnancy glow. Hello to everyone, hope you are having a good weekend. xx
sarlat your posts are always so lovely and thoughtful even when you feel so ruddy awful yourself. You are amazing. I'm sorry that you have unwanted house guests today (your casserole sounds lovely BTW!) I can completely identify with most of what you wrote, the feeling of wanting to withdraw and feelings of being exposed. I wish nobody (except my sister) knew that IVF was on the cards (makes me want to throttle my mother). I guess it makes me feel like a freak and very pressurised. I haven't let on to anybody that this is the cycle. I am avoiding the telephone. I am toying with letting my sister know because I know that she will be a good source of support when it goes tits up but at the same time I'm afraid of saying it out loud in case I jinx it.
I think the three year mark does funny things to your state of mind. I certainly felt a shift in my thinking and felt very "meh". The intensity kind of goes but at the same time I view babies and that whole world very differently. I guess I am more aware of the glass wall between me and other women with babies and children.
I am so sorry that you felt sure that something happened this month. Reading what you were saying about implantation and the sensations I reckon this has happened to me a quite a few times. I think it is only natural sarlat that the cycles after your operation will be loaded with expectation. Mine were after the lap. I think there is an element (for me anyway) of "well I have done more than my bit, it's time for the universe to deliver". Anyway big hugs and I hope that your guests are well behaved
lemons I am sorry that you too are loitering around the tent. Mother nature can be a prized arse sometimes. Hugs for you too.
art hello, it always nice when you come back! Thanks for your advice about what to expect. That's one of the things I love about this Fred. I was saying that to MrP when he suggested I call the clinic with a question about injecting (I will come to that!) I told him that I would get quicker and better advice on here
I understand why you would want to keep your cards close to your chest RE announcing things. It is totally your decision and I think entirely natural. I can never understand the people who sing it from the roof tops at the first sniff of a positive pee stick!
Well ladies can I ask an injection question? Is it normal to have a little of the Buserelin leak out of your skin immediately after injecting? And, do you continue to pinch your skin whilst plunging the stopper of the syringe? So many questions!
Thank you ladies for the kindness about my leg. After sleeping on it it feels a lot less painful but I still can't put weight on it. I reckon if I rest it some more it will be okay!
Pout - yes a drop of leakage after is normal. I use to hold on to the flab of skin pre, during and a couple of seconds after the needle had come out. It was a process that worked for me. Pinching a blob of skin in-between my fist helped me to see it as a 'seperate' piece of flesh from the rest of my body which makes sticking a needle in ones own skin a little easier -that is a good tip actually for anyone else worrying about injecting themselves.
And Pout thank you so much for your kind words. Its just such a rollercoaster and I want to get off but don't really iykwim. The fear of a sibling announcement hangs over me like a dark cloud too. Not in a jealous way, just in a "what does this mean for me / lots of pity etc" way. Best of luck with this cycle sweetheart. Don't worry about if you should or shoudn't tell your sister. If you get an massive urge to do so, then tell her. If you are not sure, sit on it. I will be cheering you on 100% superstar Pout. xx PS, yes rest that leg.
pout I've heard of someone being told to pinch to get the needle in and then let go, but I pinched all the way through. I bunged cotton wool on it the second I took the needle out, so any leakage would have gone straight into the cotton wool, so I didn't see it, but I am sure it was there.
sar I think it has all been said really well by others. I hope you are doing alright. x
I am still living in a state of half denial. The couple we just had over for lunch asked me what my due date was and I said "I can't think that far ahead - I'm focussing on the 6 week scan at the moment". I am still of the mindset that pregnancy is something that happens to other people.
Thank you for the advice. I have been continuing to pinch the skin throughout but MrP reckoned that the clinic said to let go once the needle was in (which he thought sounded wrong anyway) so I panicked when I started to get some leakage the last couple of times. I'll press on as I am You're so right sarlat about the bunched up bit of flesh somehow feeling less like a part of yourself and therefore easier to inject into. This is probably the only time in my life I have been glad of that muffin top!
Yes a sibling pregnancy would be my ultimate nightmare so you have my sympathy though, as MrP keeps reminding me, there is more chance of my nephew getting a girl into trouble at the moment since he seems determined to push all boundaries right now! A sibling pregnancy would just be so impossible to hide from or step back from, I think that is the fear.
euro I think we need to coin a term for our lovely newly preggers people who are still shellshocked & don't think of themselves as pregnant yet It must seem strange to be put on the spot like that by your friends. It hardly seems 5 minutes since you and MrEuro found out yourselves! That is, I guess one, of the issues with IVF and people knowing that you are having it. They expect an answer on whether it has worked pretty much instantaneously, there's just no fudging it is there. I'm still so pleased for you and doll BTW and glad that you are hanging around here still!
pout smart that you avoided telling that this is 'the cycle' is certainly makes the pressure a bit less. I told my family but only after the fact (round one) and that I 'might' do another at 'some point'. I have distance on my side too though.
Ello. I like it that we are in all various states of diffedness and trying. It feels cosy to be together. I have unlaced the door of the tent as the sun shone today and I did loads of gardening which felt nice. I am feeling better both in my head and body but do think there is something going in when I keep thinking I have GF back. Maybe it is a post viral thing but I want my thyroid and bloods looking at again as it feels like something is 'off'. I have definitely emerged into a new phase of sad with ttc, in a resigned droopy fashion. Dr on weds.
It feels like there is a lot going on for us all right now and I've built an extension on the tent but it is pretty nice in here with comfy seating areas and various beverages and cakes.
sarlat I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Post operative cycles are so tough when af comes. I know I hoped I'd be 'mended' and when I met you last summer with my second af post op I felt totally bereft. Something I know is hard is the time we have ttc, with one year feeling scary, two years horrid, three years I imagine feeling like its moving further on but you know there are countless stories of people who conceive after various numbers of years, it doesn't mean it isn't going to happen. And when it does, you won't care how long it took. Your stew sounds delicious! I hope your friends were tactful and I know what a drain it is to feel like the pitied one. I loathe that. I'm not sure people really DO think like that though. I have friends that took 4 years to get there while I wasn't trying. I had no idea what that would be like and as such I really thought they'd stopped trying and were just having a nice time being them! Does that make sense? I think if you haven't gone through it, you haven't any concept of how hard it is really. I certainly didn't pity them. I just presumed they'd have a baby eventually.
pout oh ffs. How unlucky that MrP has the devils disease and that you have hurt your leg. The universe is taking the piss! I think you are amazingly brave for injecting, I can't even read the bits where you write about it! Be very proud of yourself. How are the legs and boys bits?
Posting not to lose post...back in bit.
euro I get the self denial totally. Had I got diffed straight away no doubt I'd have been telling everyone and blahing it all over Facebook. I now think that some people I know won't even realise I've been pregnant til they see I have a baby! I won't be able to say the p word, should it ever happen, for a long time. I am glad your boobs are growing I probably won't get to say that to many people in a lifetime.
doll how you feeling? Still rough? Bt this is good right? Presumably some ivf goes on to be identical twins no? <seed planting>
madness I made my first item of clothing today! How you doing?
joycep you are still in my thoughts. I can't remember when you said you were next at the clinic but I am hoping with everything that all will come good. You are so kind to have thought of me when you are going through so much.
lemon I've shuffled up and have made drizzle cake just for you. I'm sorry you've had your hopes dashed.
Big wave to everyone else. I need to go now. Sorry not to name check everyone but loves to all. Please can it be sunny Sunday all over again, I'm not liking the weather for the week ahead..
lemon that sucks about AFs arrival.
Gin If your cystitis is recurring, its possible that your original never left if it keeps coming back. If the cause of infection is Escherichia coli, this strain can live inside your cells where it can hide from antiobiotic treatment. It is usually a pain to get rid of. Good luck with it, cystitis is terribly uncomfortable.
Rabbit can I hide in your tent? The next few weeks at work are going to be complete shite. I hope the doctor can help you feel better.
Hello to everyone else. I cant name check because I am typing on a phone and it is slow going.
sar I really identify with what you've written. I feel like I have been hiding. It is very much a self preservation thing. I'm able to do it quite successfully because I live in a different country to my family and many of my friends. It makes me sad to think of the things I've missed out on in the last couple of years. I don't go back to the UK as much as I should because I want to avoid having to see relatives and facing the awkward questions. We've turned down wedding and christening invitations, we were invited on holiday with some friends but didn't go because two of them were pregnant. I feel more distant from close friends and family than at any point in my life before and I really hope that if I do ever get pregnant and have a baby that I'm able to rebuild some of the relationships I've put on hold. Anyway, I want you to know you're not alone in feeling the way you do. It has only been a short time since your op, be kind to yourself.
pout well done on the injections. I'm dreading this part of it. Do they actually hurt or is it just the thought of doing it that makes it hard? I'm glad your leg is a little better, how is mrpout doing?
euro do you have a scan coming up? At what point do you get discharged from the clinic? Has mreuro made an appointment to see the urologist? Do you think mild male factor might have been the issue all along? That might explain why ivf worked. Do the clinic offer any follow up, or explanations as to diagnosis? Or are they just happy it's worked? I understand what you mean about using the "p" word. It's not a word in my vocabulary at the moment.
joy I've been thinking about you over the weekend. xx
lemon sorry about af. Hopes being dashed is the worst.
rabbits I hate to see you feeling down in the dumps. Spring is round the corner and things always seem better then. I saw my first snow drops yesterday and that cheered me a bit.
mrsd I have a scan on Thursday next week, when I would be 6 weeks, so apparently they should be able to see a heartbeat if all is going well! I'm astounded that happens so early. No wonder I am a bit knackered at the moment, if I am growing an extra heart! I think after that scan we are discharged by the clinic and then go into the NHS system, like a "normal".
Mr Euro hasn't made his urologist appointment yet and I was
nagging reminding him this morning. Hopefully he will soon. I don't think we will ever get an explanation, and I must say I do wonder what was going on. Perhaps it was mild male factor, or, as I think "Art" said, perhaps IVF was really a sledghammer to crack a nut and it was something as simple as the PH balance of my CM or some other "Minor" thing that was just stopping it happening. That doesn't explain the two odd ?chem preg? cycles I had though.
I found that most of the time the injections didn't hurt and occasionally they did a bit, but that the pain was no more than the various daily pains we suffer - paper cuts, dropping something on your toe, etc. When you think of it like that, I think it makes it easier. Or at least it did for me, because those sorts of things you tend to brush off and not give a second thought. It definitely hurts less than a blood test as the needles are very fine.
Gin and pout I hope you are feeling better.
rabbit I hope you feel able to emerge from the tent soon.
how are those under the weather doing? gin are you still suffering? pout and MrP?
Yes rabbit, IVF does result in id twins at slightly higher rates than 'normal' for reasons that aer largely unknown, there are some suggestions that AH can make a split more likely although not all doctors would confirm this. Anyway one is still much the most likely option
thankfully I feel terrible but the cold has taken over as the thing I'm struggling most with. In someways this is going to be more like a second pregnancy for me than a first one, given that I already have a child and the needs of the one that's already here still come first had another look for the off button yesterday - no joy Ken is going to Cairo for 5 days tomorrow <drained face>
Thanks for asking after me too sar I'm very sorry to hear your sadness.
rabbit I loved your 'It feels cosy to be together'
euro yes I can have as many scans as I want here in the land of private meds
given that I'm paying for them all The monitoring of the IVF was certainly lite but I've had alot of p'ed friends here and know that standard monitoring is alot. I choose to book a scan for 6+4 just to give a little more chance of seeing a heartbeat though my Dr also said I could come at 6+0.
joy I'm thinking of you.
My friend has id twins from a FET. They are gorgeous (but such a handful). With my low HCG levels and lack of symptoms, I am pretty confident I have a max of one in there! I'm sorry you are feeling rubbish doll. What a bad time for Ken to be travelling. Your comment about the off button made me laugh. My clinic said to book for 6+1, but I am worried that will still be too early as I reckon I implanted late as my HCG levels were so low. Not seeing a hearbeat would cause a major panic, I think.
Euro Will you find it weird to be discharged into the system and be "normal" do you think? I know that might seem a strange question but I personally think that I have become so "comfortable" with the barren/odd label that to be just another preggo might be weird! I want to be special (and pregnant obviously) forever dammit!
doll you made me laugh about looking for the off switch for Little Doll
sweetgrouch sorry you are in the tent. Hope that you emerge soon!
rabbit I'm glad that a spot of gardening lifted your spirits a bit...can't say that it ever lifts mine! Me, dirt and insects don't mix.
Good luck with your doctors appointment. I wonder too if I had been an instadiff how sensitive I would have been [ashamed face] I guess I had just never thought about infertility before now. That said, it doesn't excuse some of the insensitive comments from people who know.
joy I'm thinking of you. When is your next appointment?
mrsd Like you I am quite isolated and have largely made myself that way. Even before TTC me and MrP were quite reliant on eachother and of course losing contact with friends wasn't helped by our moving around the country a fair bit. MrP's family live hundreds of miles away too so all in all I only really see my sister and even then it's not very regular. While this kind of suits me now and my perceived need to withdraw I do sometimes get the fear that if we are ever blessed with a child I will have little help.
Please don't worry about the injections hurting. When the needle goes in, for me, it's more of a sensation than a feeling/pain IYSWIM. When the needle comes out sometimes there is a very slight sting but generally it feels more like an itchy sensation. It is so fleeting though and as Euro said it is nothing when you compare it to all the general little knocks and grazes we get on a daily basis.
MrP has kind of plateaued in his getting better which is a bit worrying. He has another two days of antibiotics and I hope that he will suddenly improve. I am really hoping that he doesn't take a nosedive because I think that really would bugger the IVF up. Anyway, we will see.
oh the plateau must be worrying pout although those sudden improvements with antibs do happen all the time. Indeed raising a child with little help, it's a bugger, but counting my blessing with a hands on partner helps alot with that.
euro I didn't mean to worry you regarding the six week scan. I guess if they say 6+1 is fine then it must be in the majority of cases otherwise they would be repeating all the time.
You didn't doll - I am plenty good at worrying myself! From the minute I got the HCG result I have been a mix of happy and petrified because it was positive but very low. <drums fingers impatiently for scan>
pout i hope the antibiotics do manage to kick it. Are you feeling better today after your strange pull yesterday?
It will be v odd if I ever get to join the "normals". In a moment of
stupidity bravado, I joined the October antenatal thread last week and whenever I look in there, loads of people are talking about booking in with the midwife and looking at prams and cute baby clothes. That all seems like it is labelled "off limits" to me.
joy thinking of you and hoping all is well. x
euro my perspective is that the hcg number is a comparative exercise for it to hold alot of meaning (and even then it doesn't tell you the whole story). I don't think you should read much into just one number. I know, easier said than done. Likewise symptoms, they tell you more about how your individual body reacts to hormone changes than the levels of the hormones themselves. Plenty of time for prams
Just a quick catch-up before I get down to some emails... been working with the public all day which feels kinda like getting kicked repeatedly in the head, even when people are nice... guess being a reclusive home worker most of the time I'm not used to constant noise and activity.
Euro I had a scan at 6+0 which I also thought was too early but nevertheless there was a heartbeat... otherwise it just looked like a random blob but seeing the little hb flickering was pretty amazing. No harm in booking the scan for a few days later though, just to be sure.
I stay away from the August preg thread because I just don't have anything in common with the conversations on there. As you say, it's all prams and baby clothes and excitement right from the start and i still don't feel part of that 'gang'. The grads thread however is a place of peace and understanding, do join us there, it's quiet but you'll see some familiar faces. I'm in the 'normal' NHS system now and it does feel weird - mainly the lack of monitoring after I have had so much intervention over the past year. I'm in a kind of twilight zone at the moment where I don't have a bump (just look fatter) and can't feel kicking or anything yet but it's a 5 week wait to the next scan. I keep imagining the baby might just have stopped growing and I wouldn't know . I have however been told that because i had IVF I need to be referred to an obstetric consultant because of unspecified increased risks of something or other. Nobody mentioned that before the cycle started! I'll be interested to see if you get told the same thing.
Pout I was told to do the stabbing a bit differently from the other ladies. I was told to grab a
handful pinch of flab flesh in my left hand, then push the needle in all the way with my right, then let go of the flab piece of flesh and use my left hand to push the plunger of the needle in while still holding it with my right. Then wait a couple of seconds before pulling the needle out again. I still got drops of buserelin appearing on my skin. I guess that because we've been told different ways of doing it, that it doesn't actually matter as long as you get the stuff in you somehow . Mrsden I found sometimes the injections stung a bit, sometimes they were fine. Oddly they stung more on the left side of my stomach than on my right. I was a lopsided junkie. Pout I do hope Mr P recovers soon, hopefully he will be fine for your IVF. The sperm take 3 months to develop so a few weeks of antibs shouldn't make a difference and nor probably did the 2 months of abstaining from booze that I forced Mr A to stick to, but I'm not admitting that to him now.
rabbit thanks for saying it feels cosy to be together. I feel that way too. Glad the garden in the sunshine made you feel a bit better. Def worth getting the glandular fever situation checked out, that really is the pits.
I'd better go deal with these emails <sigh>. Waves to everyone, cakes and or to the tent dwellers x
art I just googled and apparently it is standard for IVF folks to be referred for consultant-led care. They can f--- right off. I have had enough of being seen as a special case. Grrrr. The interesting thing is, from my bit of googling, there seems to be no consensus on why and IVF pregnancy is high risk. Some people have been told it is because of the drugs, others because IVF babies tend to be bigger, but most seem to have been given no reason at all. Many seem to have been signed off by the consultant after the first appointment. Others have been banned from MLU births. I had been contemplating an independent midwife anyway, and that might push me over the edge.
Who was it who said "hell is other people"?
I was told I'd get a higher level of care if I do get pregnant by ivf too. So it seems it's standard across countries. I asked why and was told it was because of increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities, so I think I'd be offered an amnio regardless of nuchal results and get more scans. I think ivf pregnancies are probably more risky because of multiples and also age of the mother must be a factor. it doesnt make much sense. Ante natal care here is by doctors anyway so I don't think it would make a huge difference to me, and never having been through a "normal" pregnancy I won't know any different. My fertility clinic does ante natal too so id have the same dr until 36 weeks and then get transferred to the care of the clinic I choose to give birth in. Which could be the place o had the lap. This is all a long way off for me so no point worrying about it yet.
It sort of explains it here, although It's dumbed down ivf
I wonder how much is due to maternal age? That's interesting about preterm birth. I heard today someone I haven't seen in a long time had her baby 6 weeks early. The comments on fb suggest she had been waiting a long time to finally get her baby so I wonder if she had ivf.
Evening ladies. Interesting chat about how IVF-pregnancies are cared for, being speshul and scared. Thinking of you all. Am totally shattered so not staying to chat much.
Oh sar I sort of felt diffed, got a positive O-stick two days before AF arrival, which has been particularly horrific this month. Painful and clotty. It's like this for me now and again (about once or twice a year) so now I am thinking maybe those times were chemicals.
Waves and good luck to the stabbers (keeping hold of the flab and letting go, I've done both in the SO cycles; will probably joing you again tomorrow!)
I tried to do a long name checking post yesterday and lost it. This is becoming a habit with me was in a miserable mood so just gave up and went to bed....
Wanted to say sar I hope that things are looking brighter today. It's so hard when your hopes are raised and dashed. Sorry you felt the same lemon. I wasreallyhoping for some post op diffage but the drugs have put paid to that idea.
rabbit well done for making some clothing! I have only done quilts but am tempted to make myself a nice bag. I have some patterns but need to find some good fabric. Perhaps a wander round John Lewis this weekend . Have bought some of this fabric for my next quilt. Maybe I'll save it for when I have a munchkin of my own to sew for. I refuse to make things to keep until there is an actual baby, but perhaps stockpiling fabric isn't too creepy?? I knew a girl who had bought her kids' beds before she even had a boyfriend .
pout I agree that it will feel weird not to have so. Many appointments and monitoring. I have trouble believing that anything about this process will ever be "normal".
Glad to see your updates art. I agree with the others. It would be awfully sad if you ladies didn't stick around to give us hope. Otherwise it could be lonely for those of us who take a while to make it to the grads thread.
I haven't mentioned loads of you but big waves to all and I will try to catch up some more tomorrow.
all right ladies. I went in to check egg progression for IUI mark V yesterday. Nothing doing, Just 5 little eggs looking tired and not like they are going to ripen at all. The dr said I really must take the clomid as waiting for my body to do its thing was taking too long. The word he used most often translates as boring so I was a bit but looked it up at home and decided he was perhaps meaning lucklustre. I thought it was a bit harsh to say my reproductive bits are boring. It's a bit challenging doing this in another language. I have my 35th a week next sunday, and my first IVF appointment the day after. I am still doing my woo doctor stuff, herbs and tea and warm foot baths and it does seem to be working. I am warmer. So no pregnancy yet, but I'm not cold any more.
We're also on Lent here so no meat or alcohol for DH until Easter. For me it doesn't make that much difference but I appreciate him not drinking. He's also (TMI alert) being more receptive to my natural insemination approaches now his belly isn't so full.
I agree about the grads sticking around. I would miss the familiar names if you all went off completely.
freedom at boring eggs. Just before he knocked me out at my first EC the anesthesiologist asked me, in English, if I was an alcoholic. The second time he didn't bother asking
Glad to hear you are all warmed up and getting a good reception. It's got to help
at boring ovaries. I don't think mine are hugely exciting either. I can't imagine them being the life and soul of a party. Could he have meant sluggish?
It does make this interesting not doing it in English. I've learnt lots of new vocab items that I doubt I'll ever use in polite company. My ivf dr grew up in London so he likes to speak English with us which makes a nice change. Although, I've had to teach him a few words when he hasn't known the English. I think he's quite impressed with my reproductive terminology.
I agree that the grads should stay for as long as they want to. I understand that the grad thread might be more appropriate though as time goes on but it would be nice if you popped in for a cuppa and chat now and again. Otherwise I might be here all on my ownsome once the BFPs start rolling in.
euro nag mreuro, it's good to have a regular check over now and again, especially if there's a family history of prostate problems. Mrden has had a few prostate exams now and he said they're nothing compared to all the prodding and poking I've had so far.
It's snowing again, sigh. I'm fed up with the cold, it makes getting around so much more difficult and I hate feeling cold which I seem to be all the time at the moment. A Chinese woo Dr would have a fit if they felt my hands and feet.
joy I'm still thinking of you xx
what did he mean doll? How did you answer?
mrsd he meant did I drink alcohol (he also asked if I smoked) so they know what they are dealing with before they knock you out. Under other circumstances I might have said 'not this morning because I'm fasting' but that would had just led to more confusion.
mrsd that big finger is around for you too, you know
at alcoholic doll how does your British sense of humour go down there? People here can never work out if I'm being serious or not, cue lots of awkward moments when they take literally something I've said as a joke. I realise now how often British people make jokes but with a serious face and no laughter and I don't think other nationalities get it at all. It's particularly noticeable in medical situations because my reaction to stress and anxiety is to make a joke, but I get these sort of looks from the nurses and doctors. For example, I said to one nurse "do you like my stockings, I think tI might wear them out on Saturday night because they're so flattering" (they were those surgical stockings), she did this face then said "Frau Den, they're to prevent blood clots, they're not a fashion item." Err, yes I did realise that.
Nice one on the stockings mrsd I can imagine. Two examples from here:
Very expensive handmade handbag shop:
Me "how much?"
Assistant: "it's made for kangaroo skin"
Me: "oh really, you know I've ALWAYS wanted a kangaroo skin handbag!"
Me: "errr, no"
Little Doll's nursery when he was less than two years:
Teacher (loosely speaking) "does he know you are not his real mother?"
Me: "well I wasn't sure so I've been giving him a book on genetics for an hour before bed each night, now he seems to be putting two and two together.
Heh@boring eggs and alcoholcs.
I'm loving the failures to get the British sense of humour. Some foreigners are just so...literal.
free Lent has worked out very well for me. I got my positive confirmed on Ash Wednesday, so that's my non-drinking excuse sorted for a few weeks.
madness hope that you are feeling a bit brighter today. The drugs are making me a bit all over the place in that department. One moment I'm quite upbeat and then the next it feels like the sky might fall in. We had a bit of ebay bullshittery going on at the weekend and MrP had to literally check & edit what I'd typed in one of my messages because I was literally apoplectic
art I'm so glad that you said you injected only on the right. Me too! I thought I was just being weird. It just seems to hurt more on the other side. Maybe it is a kak handed thing.
It is strange that you and euro feel a bit odd posting on the antenatal threads. It made me a bit sad actually to think that you have kind of missed out on the initial naive excitement of prams and cots. I am sure that will come but it upsets me to think that you haven't had that rush of excitement from the offski.
lemons I hope that your period has eased off. A positive OPK was curious
doll "Are you an alcoholic?" made me really laugh. freedom I would take the huff if my ovaries were described as boring! As mrsd said sluggish is probably what he mean't. I am sure that they have hidden depths.
Definitely agree mrsd that anxiety and embarrassment make me crack more
Sense of humour is an odd thing to judge and I'm sure that loads of people don't get it when I'm trying to be funny. I'm still cringing at my first (and only) conversation with my neighbour when I was apologising in case the dogs barking bothered them. She was being nice and saying how it was fine and she jokingly said "what would you do if I said it bothered me?" so I told her in a deadpan voice that I would beat the dogs harder. The tumbleweed was excruciating and I hurried indoors feeling like a complete arse
Funny comments on here to day about the literal comments, boring ovaries and alcoholic egg collectors. Hee hee.
Madness - thanks for asking after me. Hope you are feeling a little better too.
Lemon-oooo its mean when you think you are upduffed only for the witch to come along and spoil the party. It is really hard to keep up with the speed of change in emotions.
Freedom -good on you for the woo stuff, keep it up. Next week sounds busy, plan something fabulous for your birthday.
Feel a little better now I am cd3 and the hormones are settling. I am marching towards fet with a feeling of doom and it wont work for me ever attitude. So I have booked an extra reflexology session so she can slap it out of me. Also wondering if my corpus leteum cyst is still hanging around. Apparently it takes 2 or 3 monthsfor them to go. My reflexology session really hurt last month when she worked the part corresponding with the left ovary, maybe it was the cyst forming or already there from last month.
Hello to all you lovely ladies.
Hello lovely ladies. I've been browsing but not buying for the last few days, but you've made me sad and laugh-out-lad happy in equal measure. As always doll your experiences are eyewatering. But "are you an alcoholic?" is truly brilliant .
Sar I am glad you are feeling better but of course there is no reason it won't work. Interesting on your reflexology hurting. Neither reflexology nor acu has ever made me feel anything out of the ordinary, apart from some questionable poo changes , but that fits with not very much being "wrong" in my case.
Joy I hope you managed to have a nice weekend, with enough distractions to stop it all becoming too upsetting. I am still praying for the big miracle for you, you deserve it so much.
Pout your conversation with the neighbour made me laugh! Sorry about the mood swings, just remember the old MN adage - this too shall pass. It's not for long. And then you'll have your baby
Boring ovaries would have had me swinging for the doc freedom. Sheesh! However it does sound like something rather more benign was intended. I definitely have sluggish ovaries. It's fecking annoying and sometimes I literally want to punch myself in the stomach to chivvy them into action.
Positive OPK lemon? Hmm there is something in the water just now it seems. Some weird goings on all round.
So, I had my IVF follow up today. It was with the same consultant I saw before my first cycle, who I really liked (night and day compared to the arrogant dickhead I saw at the first clinic, that originally tested my AMH). Essentially he said that the fact that I got to 2 seemingly good quality embryos was really good, he asked if I felt that I had an outcome pretty much as expected, which I did - ie 3 eggs, 2 embryos transferred. We agreed it was as good a result as we could have reasonably hoped for, obviously without the BFP, so that there was no reason to think we should not go again if we want to. MrN asked if by the time we got to embryo stage we had overcome the AMH issue, and he said essentially yes. That there was a small school of thought that it might still have an impact on success, but the general consensus was if you have a good embryo it's mainly irrelevant how you got there.
We have decided not to do the norethisterone this time, which I suspect may have had an issue with my slow start. This is because I spotted for 5 days after I'd normally have expected my period to stop. So I will just start at the beginning of my cycle. As we talked about it, he said "presumably you had the higher dose of FSH for the first couple of days". Eh...no . So looks like I missed out on a potential boost that might have helped. He did look surprised at this so is going to recommend it this time. We've decided there is a high chance we'll do Assisted Hatching as well. So I could either start immediately (as in, as soon as my period arrives which will be in about 2 and a half week) or next cycle. Our initial thought is wait one more month as neither of my post IVF cycles have been quite normal; so give nature another couple of chances.
The only thing we "disagreed" on was progesterone. In flare you get an HCG injection 7 days post EC which makes your body produce more progesterone. However I wonder if this is where my problem lies as I do tend to get a real dip in mood about 7DPO each month. I think my progesterone drops too soon, so am wondering how I'd get hold of extra fanny candles .
Sorry for lack of catch up followed by long boring me post. I always find it useful to post here though, for the record! I've decided not to do acu as I spent quite a lot and felt no impact. It also added to the stress of trying to get to appointments. I'll cut down my booze but not cut it out completely. I've cut down caffeine though, as I have no spare cash for lattes .
Hope tent dwellers, diffed, and those waiting patiently in line are all doing well.
nelly does that mean you don't get progesterone at all? That seems daft as, as far as I can tell, it is pretty cheap and can only help. They are the kind of thing people are often left with spares of.... Just saying...
pout the dogbeater. I'll remember that.
I'm glad you are feeling better, pout.
Yes , no progesterone. Clear as mud??! Basically on the flare you get the HCG injection instead, 7 days after EC, which makes your body produce its own. I was told this was actually the better way, but in better responders it would increase the chance of OHSS quite significantly.
Yup, I did think I'd just quietly mention it on here, and see what happened. You know, in a PM kind of way . I would feel better if I was shoving it up me rather than relying on my body to make it. cos you know, my body is a bit of a let down in the whole reproductive process.
Sorry that really wasn't clear. What I meant to say was, they would ideally give everyone the HCG injection rather than the cyclogest, but it would actually overactivate the hormones in most people, hence why they don't do it. So it's technically better than fanny candles - but my point that I probably didn't make well enough to the doctor is that I suspect my body doesn't do it properly on it's own, so why would it do it properly just because of the injection?
nelly I have several boxes of cyclogest that I am happy to share
. But ... several boxes. EEK!
Thanks Buzzy. I will PM you.
Ah the wonders of the internet.
Love all this fanny candle dealing
That's good you had the nice dr nelly. Will you be joining our spring ivf hand holding club then? Tis very exclusive.
I'm still half in the tent. Feeling meh, not sure if it's ttc or other life stuff getting me down. I'm hoping this is a short term blip.
I have three very expensive gonal F pens sitting in my fridge. If we get past 12 weeks, I will want to get rid... They go out of date in September. Just saying...
Are they pre loaded at a certain dose euro?
We should set up an auction site.
Just tortured myself looking at photos of k-mids (barely) visible bump on daily fail site. There was also a story about the married one from ant and dec, don't know if it's ant or dec? Anyway, he said they're having problems ttc. Now, I'm wondering which one of you are mrsant/dec because she must be on this thread, its the place to be.
Oh Euro I would definitely be interested in the pens. Are they the 900? We can definitely deal! Last time I had to buy another 900 and a 450 towards the end, but got lucky that one had been handed back so I got that for free. Would probably say to the clinic I'll buy the minimum from them then maybe stock up at a reduced rate from Euro
MrsDen yes - will either start in 2 weeks or about 6. I like the sound of our club I am sure it will just be a short term blip. I found starting IVF gave me a boost as I felt like I was doing something positive. I'm a little bit weary about the thought of going again, but just because I wish I was already pregnant.
Step away from the Daily Fail MrsDen. You know better than that by now surely . It is the devils work. <stern> Anyway K-mid is plastic and moulded, remember, so probably isn't really pregnant.
You conversation from yesterday made me chuckle. I am so glad to know you're not an alcoholic doll. Even though I find asking you at the point of egg retrieval a little late. Sorry you have boring eggs freedom! I have the opposite, most of the time, rushy eggs and I always have to convince the clinic to let me come in a for a early enough scan when stimming. Six days of stabbing has been plenty for me and their standard is first scan after a week. I am back on the stabbing wagon for one last try at IUI before fab holidays (when half of you will be cycling). Will there be anyone left to hand hold and join me by June?
Glad the consultant was happy overall by your cycle nelly. But grrr at the suboptimal bits (including the negative at the end!)
How are you doing pout? You made me chuckle, you old dog beater! Even if the friendly neighbour distinctly lacked a sense of humour!
Mrsd daily fail photos are only suitable for making one feel better (because you're not trash getting divorced, drunk in public etc) not to glare at mini-bumps. Middy panic has been and gone. Breath, it will be your time soon.
at the roaring trade on here. I might have some spare vials of menopur because I bloody hate that stuff. But not very much. As I stim quite quickly we got our gonal-f in three pens this time (of 300 each) because I had to open one of those hideously expensive 900 pens and then have nearly half left in it by the end of the IUI (and then had a cycle off to ensure we had to bin about 200 pounds worth of the stuff).
Daily fail is my guilty secret
I'm listening to radio 5live over the Internet and they're about to discuss whether women over 40 should get ivf on the nhs. I suspect it might make me a little cross. How many are going to say "nhs shouldn't be funding ivf at all"
Just popping in quickly, will do proper post later, but mrsd don't listen! I just read the Groniad article about ivf and the nice guidelines, which was fine, if a little confused in places, but the comments have left me seething! It's the whole besh thing all over again. Apparently we only need ivf cos we've left having babies until we are far too old and need to learn we can't always get what we want. FFS. No acknowledgment the infertility is a medical condition and that it can be due to the male partner or an actual undiagnosed condition, that the drs can't diagnose as there's not enough research leaving people with the unexplained explanation. I feel like writing to the Guardian and asking them to take down the comments as they are offensive and upsetting.
Right, deep breath. I will not let it put me in a bad mood for the day
I'll leave it to pmt to do that
It's actually a fairly balanced discussion, with a few stoopids.
nelly I wouldn't want anything for them, but as they are refrigerated, I would ask that if someone outside London wants they they organise a cold courier. I should know by April if I will let them go (I'm hanging on to them for now just in case because we said at the outset we would do one natural cycle and then consider mild; as I found EC pretty traumatic, if this one doesn't work out, I might have a use for them).
mrsd I was looking at those photos too. I have bump envy (mostly because I am desperate to be at 12+ weeks and out of the danger zone).
Gin/mrsd every time there is an IVF story on the news, I find the comments upsetting. I'm going to stay well away I thnk.
It was one of the better ivf discussions. They had a couple of well informed experts, and also people phoned up who had been through ivf. It really is one of those things that only people who have gone through it can understand. I hate that the discussions always focus on women, male infertility really is never talked about. Also, on the over 40 thing, I wish someone had made the point that it can take years to get to the point of being able to have treatment. The investigations take a long time, and you try yourselves for a year or so before seeking help. I was 28 when we started trying, but will be almost 32 when we start the first ivf cycle.
One of the experts made a good point about it being stupid being based on age and that it would be far better if a was decision made on egg reserve. He said the new nice guidelines are excellent and worth reading so I'm going to see if there is a copy online.
The new NICE guidelines are online, mrsd. I found them last week when I was looking at another forum about IVF stuff (fertilityfriends mebbe). Someone had linked to them (a published draft I think).
found it nice
this is the final, published version.
mrsd you could barely tell k-middy is pregnant.
nelly fanny candles will be in the post tomorrow
joy thinking of you
they are talking about the NICE IVF Guidelines on the news, I wonder how long it will be before MIL mentions it to me again
It's very quiet on here, there isn't a party that I don't know about is there?
if there is I haven't been invited
Well, me neither buzzy. How are you?
I have been out at the gym. Far less fun than most parties but about as sweaty as the really good ones!
Im at no party! I am crazy busy with work again BUT I'm nearly through the busy half of the year
Reading and thinking of you all and will post as soon as I can.
i'm alrighty thanks, a bit busy with work, how are you feeling??
Hello ladies. My i phone is a bit fooked, so Ive been reading but not able to post much.
mrsd Im really pleased to hear the radio show was more balanced about ivf. As you say, people really dont get it unless they are in the situation. It does upset me though and make me cross! Sorry to hear youve been feeling meh. Not long until your ivf cycle now. I still cant believe how long you have waited Id certainly be feeling meh by now. I hope it's just a blip. I think it being so bloody cold makes this time of year harder. I am totally ready for spring/summer. I felt sad when I read how ttc has impacted on your life. I am determined to try not to let it affect my social life. I generally manage it, although seeing newborns can still make me feel shite. Sar I totally get what you mean about wishing you'd not told people about the ivf. I dread that they're going to ask me about it, when I don't want to talk about it and just want to pretend to be normal. Not that I did tell loads of people, that was Dave grrr.
buzzy Oh dear re MIL. You have your plan though, so just ignore her!
lemon hope you are feeling better too. Fingers crossed for this cycle for you. Holibubs sound ace jealousness.
nelly 2 weeks and you could be starting again! Follow up sounded positive? Interesting about the fanny candles. My clinic is even giving them to me post ET during the FET.
sar sorry youve been in the tent
marquee so many of us have been in it recently! Lovely Sar, there is a very good chance that this FET could work. Open heart remember. You make fab embryos and your womble is now all spring cleaned and ready to welcome your frosties. Are you starting the FET cycle now? Id be v. surprised if anyone gets preggers on their first post-lap cycle. Your body has been through so much and needs a little time to adjust, Id have thought? Although that may be bollocks that Ive just made up. Big hugs. Be kind to yourself. You will get there.
pout my word, what a week youve had! Are you and Mr P feeling better? I always had a drop of liquid left on my skin from the stabbing. The only jabs I found hurt were the evil clexane, which most clinics dont use. I only agreed to take it cos of the high ohss risk I had. When is your first scan? And the dog beating made me .
euro hope you are ok. Cant believe the first scan is coming round so quickly! Well it feels quick to me, sure it doesnt to you. Do you know what the normal success rates are for natural ivf? Its something I may consider with donor sperm, although would need to weigh up costs etc vs iui.
doll love that you were asked if you were an alcoholic. Good timing eh? Are you starting to feel better?
Please dont disappear lovely pregnant ladies! Its really nice to read your chat about your pregnancies and wed miss you! Speaking of which, hello artemis.
rabbit I too spent the weekend in the sun gardening, which was lovely although I ached like a bastard the day afterwards [unfit face]. Hows your fur baby?
critter you are a sweetheart! Thank you for the offer of the magic wee powders. I have read about them on the net and they sound ace. I may take you up on the offer at some point. Mmmm gin cocktail. Ive had one before with early grey and gin, which was ver ver nice. Hope all is good with you.
joy Im thinking of you. Were you due another scan today? Hope all is well x
Im sure Ive missed loads, so generalised wave to Madness, freedom, sea and everyone else.
The devils disease hasnt been too bad so far, as long as I avoid stuff like coffee. Ive not managed to get hold of the drs to get any antibiotics, but Im hoping it will bugger off on its own. I thought my mood had lifted too, although the comments re ivf on the Guardian pished me right off. I think its PMT emerging now though. The Hilary Mantle comments, or rather the total misinterpretation of them and personal attacks on her Shock, horror, shes infertile that must be why shes bitter also made me stupidly . Nothing much else to report. Period due early next week and hopefully that will be the FET cyle. I just want to bloody get on with it, so we can move on. Had a nightmare last night in which our consultant was trying to blackmail us and I was horrified when I realised wed paid an evil person thousands of pounds for ivf
Well I crashed the party on here! Was too busy writing, so missed your posts. Oops, sorry for the essay.
gin we usually hear from MIL on a Sunday evening but didn't this week, but its the sort of thing she would comment on, perhaps we have fallen from favour or something else has distracted her
euro is your scan next week??
Yay, you've all reappeared. I was worried that I really was the last one left to turn out the lights.
Euro, the gym! I'm impressed. Get your feet up, you're growing a real little person inside you
Glad to hear you're doing ok gin. Is gin off the menu too?
Gin I think the overall success rates are fairly low - 18% or something like that, but bear in mind a lot of women who go for it are older. Once you have made an embryo, I think the rates are the same as anyone going for a 2 day transfer (with a max of one embie early transfer is standard) which is about 27% or something like that. I think you have to expect it to take more than one cycle, even more so than standard IVF.
The days are really dragging but we are at the midway point between blood test and scan now. <wills time forward> I'm about to get busier at work, which should help the days pass.
I'm glad the devil's disease isn't giving you too much
gip? gyp? trouble.
buzz it's next Thursday. <Drums fingers>
mrsd it's a good thing - increases blood flow to the womb and stuff. And being fit is supposed to make the end bit easier. I've quit running and trying to flatten my stomach though - the first because my heart rate gets daftly high really quickly and the second because I have given that up as a lost cause! As soon as it gets a bit warmer, I'm going to get back to swimming. I used to be very into it and swim a mile 3 or more times a week. But for now, it's the gym.
Swimming is great exercise. I keep meaning to go. I do like running, but it's far too cold and icy and snowy for that. I need to get fit for the summer.
Thanks mrsd I've not tried gin but think the tonic might be ouchy Wine oddly seems to be ok! Good job the amount I've drunk over the weekend and plan to drink next weekend.
euro impressed face at the gym. It's all I can do to drag myself to/from work and I don't have any mini person in me excuses! Hmmm re natural ivf. Maybe we should give iui a go, although the success rates are very low for that, but 3 rounds are cheaper. I don't understand why iui rates are so much lower than normal conception rates.
buzz did mil ever come up with some ££s towards your treatment?! Much more useful than ringing you up to tell you about random news stories.
Right I'm owf to bed. Adios ladies.
Morning ladies. I was also a bit worried that everyone had decamped somewhere else!
gin Glad that you aren't suffering too much with the cystitis. FWIW (and you probably know anyway) MrP was told to avoid fruit juice (except Cranberry) because that makes the wee acidic and stingy.
Roll on your period and onwards and upwards with your FET cycle! I think that you do get to a point when you just want to crack on, though because of your dream I now do imagine your consultant as Dr Evil.
euro I too am impressed at your gym stuff.
Buzzy I hope that your MIL is distracted. It must be horrible to have someone in your ear all the time. I got the hump when my MIL sent us a good luck card when she heard months ago that we would need IVF. I was a bit and felt relieved that Clintons don't actually do a "Good luck on your forthcoming IVF" line of cards.
rabbits Sorry that you are stupidly busy again. How did your GP appointment go?
I've avoided all the recent IVF debate. It just makes me angry. Raising the age limit is all well and good but if you have a PCT that disregards the NICE guidelines then it doesn't make a jot of difference anyway. I just kind of think that the current hoo ha about raising the age limit just gives the impression to the uninformed that IVF is offered to everybody like sweeties and that infertility is no biggie because the barrens just get countless rounds of IVF.
I'm really struggling at this end with the injections. They are making me feel so ill and I have had a constant migraine to varying degrees since starting (peaking yesterday when I couldn't get out of bed all day). I'm pretty worn down by it all already to be honest. Not helped by the continuing curse of sods law that seems to hover over this house which yesterday included falling down the stairs and whacking my poor migrained head off one of the stairs and re-twisting (it's a technical term) my leg and being told that MrP's last sperm sample wasn't processed by the lab because it was handed in too late despite it being deposited well before the times we were told and was written on the blurb we were given
Sorry for the whine. I just keep thinking that it's all jinxed.
aww, pout you poor thing. Best that you stay in bed I think. How many more days of these injections do you have left?
I agree with you that people are under the impression ivf is easy to come by. They also seem to think that ivf is a first step and entered into lightly. I don't think people realise that most of us will have been trying for about 3 years before ivf. Some guy on the radio phone in yesterday was saying that women should try the Billings method instead of ivf. And that it had a better success rate than ivf. I mean none of us have thought of working out when we ovulate have we? Knowing when I ovulate is not going to help DH produce more sperm.
I've got ages on the injections yet. I did suspect that they might play havoc with my migraines but just kind of pushed it to the back of my mind and hoped it would be okay.
I'm being an pathetic old bag and ought to man up & just be grateful. Apologies to those who would kill to have an NHS funded round.
Did somebody really phone in and say that? It's the ignorance that gets me. If somebody has the facts and still believe that IVF shouldn't be funded then fair enough but spouting crap really is the limit.
pout you can moan away on here don't worry about that. My dr asked if I was prone to get headaches because he said headaches are the main side effects of the drugs. I think some of us are more sensitive. I get headaches all the time so I'm dreading it.
That guy was an idiot. He made himself sound a bit stupid, he clearly had no idea about infertility. He was from some pro life group, so no surprise that he had objections to ivf. It did annoy me though that someone could really think that all these people could avoid ivf if only they knew when they were ovulating. euro well done for commenting on the mn thread about the nice guidelines, I read it but I found it too upsetting to comment.
I'm wearing a looseish top today that is a bit swingy at the bottom. Two people have asked if I'm pregnant. Must remember only to wear tight fitting clothes from now on.
Gin I think IUI rates are lower than natural conception rates because it is often used where there are ishoos - mild male factor, unexplainedness, etc.
pout I'm sorry about the hurty head and the other stuff. I'm not sure if this will help, but if I had managed to woman the F up last summer and push through it, I would in all likelihood be about to give birth now. I did what was right for me, but in case you need a bit of encouragement to push through, I thought it might help. How irritating about the sample. I bet they just forgot it in a corner somewhere and then tried to blame MrP for handing it in late. It doesn't exactly fill you with confidence does it?
mrsd oh no, that is just about the worst thing you can say to someone suffering the misery of infertility. I am glad my usual style is quite tailored (although it does mean that I will have nowhere to hide when I get to the "looking a bit porky" stage).
I was prompted to comment on the thread by some of the BESH, who turned out there in force. I am leaving it alone now though, as it'd all turned a bit nasty last time I looked, and I don't think it is good for me to keep plugging away at it. Stupid ignorant people are stupid ignorant people. Me posting on a message board won't suddenly change them into intelligent enlightened beings.
I've just looked up what the Billings method is. Stupid ignorant man. I could pinpoint ovulation pretty much to the hour and a fat lot of good it did me!
Thanks for being nice so nice. I feel a bit bad for being a moaning minnie. mrsd I'm sorry if I am worrying you over the headaches. Everyone is diffferent and I am quite sensitive to changes in hormone levels anyway so there is every chance you will be okay euro Thanks for what you said. I know I have to push through. I'm a week in so can't give up. I have got my schedule through with my EC date so the end is in sight.
I thought the same about the sample. I wouldn't mind but MrP bloody killed himself driving from the site he was on, across London, to do the sample in time. I should just keep remembering how other than this blip they have been pretty fantastic.
That bloody discussion on the other thread....I had to abandon it on page 8 when some dickhead came on spouting on about the planet being overpopulated anyway (Following that argument I so wanted to suggest to him that it might therefore be prudent for him to shuffle off then but the drugs are maybe making me a bit too evil) and then in the next breath he was saying how he couldn't live without his kids. Okay so it's okay for him to overpopulate the planet with his offspring. It's the double standards that rile me. And if one more muppet comes out with the adoption line. It is insulting to both me as an infertile woman, to adoptive parents and also to adopted kids.
Hear, hear on the ovulation thing. The cycle before this one I actually got ovulation pain right after DTD. Am I pregnant? Am I hell.
I am studiously avoiding all IVF chat. It's irrelevant to me in the frozen north anyway. Well done euro for being able to respond without extreme use of swear words. My boss told us about our entitlement to IVF leave in a team meeting about a year ago (changes to various HR policies, it wasn't just prescient of him) and he sort of rolled his eyes and sniggered a bit.
This morning I was woken early by the cats fighting and was feeling a bit grumpy. Mr Nelly realised I was awake and rolled over and started his mating ritual (soz, I am working at home and spending a fair bit of time looking at the birds in the garden!). I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing at stupid o clock.
Him: Trying to save us 5 grand.
Me. Oh. Romantic .
Here's hoping it worked, huh???
Thanks re the fanny candles Buzz
euro I will probably wait until my next plus one period before the next round to try to get out of the financial squeeze post wedding. We'll just keep in touch about the drucks. You won't need them though. And I'm not just saying that to persuade you to give them up .
Missed heaps but really should get back to work. Catch up with everyone else soon.
Oh pout sorry about the killer headaches. I did have quite a bad one a few days in - I only do one shot of DR on the flare protocol but even that wasn't pleasant, but once I was settled into the stimms I had no side effects
and bugger all growth. You will feel better once DR is over I suspect, which can't be too much longer in the grand scheme of things? Rant on here as much as you like. We can take it!
pout sorry about the head, I did wonder how I would manage with my migraines, will need to discuss with the clinic as I am reluctant to give up my drugs before a bfp.
I found the ivf thread interesting, there will always be debate about it, but i'm only interested in the opinions of people with experience not those who like to talk through their backsides, as some one upthread said they are guidlines only.
well I am sitting outside a patients house waiting for the patient to be transported here, they are an hour late and I am desperate for a pee, and only having chewing gum to eat.
My progesterone level must have dropped as I got into a 'discussion' with 3 seniors about work and poor decision making, I spent most of the morning in tears
might have to go find a bush. . . .
Hi ladies, ive missed loads . have been trying to keep my head down and away from all things mentalling. Ha ha.
Mrsd fab news about your excellent amh and great afc. This should give you a lot of confidence you will get there. From personal experience, having a very low amh has made everything feel that much more pressurised and the feeling like time is of the essence. So embrace the great news. IVf is going to work for you!!
Nelly im pleased you had a productive ivf follow up. i think sourcing extra cyclogest is a good idea. Im on 3 a day plus gestone injections but my clinic goes overboard.
Love the fact this thread has become some kind of drug bartering thread. I also have a spare gonal f pen but i better check the sell by date before i offer it out.
Sar your post from last week really saddened me. you have been through so much and its so unfair. But i truly truly believe its a matter of time. Look at all those amazing embies you produced. I know they didnt bed down but as others have said, your womb in brand spanking new and this will be different now. Its vey hard to feel positive i know , its partly self protection but you have a great shot at this. Its your time Sar.
Pout hell you are really going through it. the downregging is suppose to be the worst bit i believe. Poor you how long left before you start stimming. And sorry to hear of all these accidents you are having. What a terrible time you are having. And you are certainly not pathetic!!
Ive ignored all press about the ivf over 40s discussion. I dont expect anyone to understand unless they have been through it and thats a relatively small amount of people compared to the general population.
Afm had another scan yesterday. The hearbeats were still there going strong but both beans are measuring over a week behind in size. Im nearly 8wks but they are 6wk+2. It ties in with my rotten hcg levels which are still just inching up although Roy now takes the phone calls and doesnt tell me what they say. I prefer being in the dark. The doc said they could be small because they are struggling/chromosome issues. So same old story. On the one hand im hoping that theyll catch up but after promising myself not to google, i did succumb last night and can see that generally this doesnt end in good news. Ive also started bleeding again. Roy and my bf are just super positive which is wonderful but i dont want them to get ahead of themselves. I feel very removed from it all, i just cant believe this pregnancy will amount to a baby & i have no expectation for it hence why ive been writing a plan of what ill do when the inevitable happens. Goodness i cant tell you how much i want my head to be down the loo any sign that my body is producing the right hormones. Give me morning sickness please! So my saga continues really. Its not quite over but things dont look great. Im just hanging.
Sorry ive missed loads. But big waves to everyone especially those in the tent.
buzz you could always push for short protocol or some other DR drug. I think it is burserelin that is notorious for headaches.
joy it's great that the London Two are hanging on in there. I hope beyond hope that this works out for you.
I think that if buzzy is doing Donor eggs you have to do the DR to time it, but I might be wrong?
joy you are my hero. How you sound so calm I really don't know. Did you go for acu? No "advice" from me, how could I? But they are hanging on, so you make tough little embryos. You are giving them every chance and that's all you can do. Hand holds xx
Good point Nelly. I had forgotten it was a DE cycle for buzz.
thank goodness this shit day is over
joy you are amazing and maybe they are just relaxed in no hurry babies, and will catch up when they are ready, I am still hopeful for you
euro and nelly yes DE IVF so no choice sadly otherwise I would have used SP
Just popping in quickly between work and tea to say Pout lovely, do hang in there. Downregging is the pits. I would rather go through egg collection again rather than do another week of downregging and I didn't even have the migraines, just felt depressed and evil for the whole time. It's OK to whinge, we can take it and we are here to hand-hold and offer (the infamous cat bum) and or . I can't offer much consolation other than just to keep reminding yourself why you're doing it. I wanted to pack it in many times but now that phase has faded into memory and obviously now I'm so glad I stuck with it.
Euro at the name change. Is that for the BESH Scott of the Antarctic theme? I am at the fat stage. I don't look pregnant yet (no obvious bump), just like I've porked up. I have literally two items of work clothing that fit me. Good job I'm not in the same office every day. One of my consolations about barrenness - which I have made the most of - is being able to wear little fitted dresses but that's backfiring on me now as there is nothing in my wardrobe to accommodate all the weight I've put on. I'm dreading the midwife making me get on the scales Still not got the vast pregnancy enormo-norks though. The novelty of having a cleavage is the bit I was looking forward to!
as well as the baby, before you all think I'm totally shallow
Joycep lovely to hear from you and so glad the heartbeats are still going strong. You have some tough little embies in there, I'm really keeping everything crossed that it works out. Could they just have implanted late? I daresay you've thought of that. The longer the heartbeats hang in for, the better the chance it will work out. I found stats that said if you have a heartbeat at 9 weeks you have a 98% chance of a successful pregnancy. One day at a time. Just because you're not throwing up doesn't mean there's a problem. I've had very few of the classic symptoms but so far (fingers crossed) seem to have been OK.
Sorry for the half a catch-up, I had more to say but Mr A has cooked tea and this is the one night this week I've managed not to have to work all evening so need to shut the computer down. Waves and loves to all.
I'm just new to this today
For a while I have thought Mmm I don't need to be on that but as the months roll on with ttc support is needed
Everyone around me is pregnant even those who started trying after me
My best friend planned in dec that she wanted to start trying, most fertile day was 31 dec, by second week of jan it was confirmed she was pregnant
Every month I think maybe it's now but dreaded back pain and the familiar red veil is drawn
Best friend is getting married in nov so now wouldn't be the wisest decision BUT just desperate to get pregnant
I wish everyone well. Next doctors appointment is Tuesday with results from three sessions of bloods so here's hoping eh?!
Sorry you've been feeling so grim pout. Is it still downregging your on? I wish I could make it better. Also impressive if shit about the falling down stairs etc.
Oops another whole page of posts - will read those now. In case you were wondering I was at book club last night eating and drinking too much
and bruising myself stabbing when I got home
Just popping on quickly to say pout I'm sure the headaches will get better once you start stimming. I normally get terrible hormonal migraine but had none with the stims. It was actually much better migraine-wise than a normal cycle. buzz I think you can still take coedine & paracetamol so your tablets might be ok?
mrsd I think you are doing SP? It's the down regging drugs that cause the headaches and were one of the reasons why i was so desperate to do SP.
joy so pleased their are 2 heartbeats. I so so hope this works out. And you are such a strong lady. Fingers crossed for you.
Ooo a besh Scott of the Antarctic Fred euro?! Sounds ace. I'm a bit obsessed with that kinda thing. I'm certainly I might be some time --ttc- gin!
arte boo to lack of preggo boobs. That'd be something I'd (or rather Dave) would really appreciate, if I ever manage to get there.
Gotta shoot. Waves to everyone else
Wow joy the rollercoaster continues... Good on the little heart beats, but on the size. Keeping everything crossed for you.
Nelly the 5am mating ritual to save a few grand made me chuckle. MrNelly is great.
How annoying about the downregging for your donor cycle. I have to say downregging is the bit I am worried about most. But my clinic is not so happy to start met SP because I am "young" at 34...
and they like to time their ECs of course
Sorry about the are-you-pregnant comments mrsd! And at not fitting any of your barren, slinky dresses arte. Here's to hidy clothes for all of us this year!
Welcome here kellie what is you story? The thread is lovely and supportive, but it is rubbish to find yourself here!
Just to add to the preggo-boob- discussion, I am fairly well endowed and my boobs at 6 weeks really freaked me out (and they stayed a bit bigger for a month or so post-mc, which I thought was totally unreasonable)
gin I think it was you who asked if MIL had stumped up the cash, um no, they are helping BIL buy another property so she hopes to have something by May.
I can understand why they are doing LP, my close colleagues know I will be on it soon, so have been warned, my senior has been great and said if there were days when I wasn't feeling well and wanted to start later in the day I could, she is willing to be flexible which I appreciate
Oh dear apparently I've just been duped by Viv on another thread. And here was me trying to be kind .
oooooh do spill the beans nelly
did you ask whether she had sex after the lap?
which thread and what name is she using, man I need to get a life
Hello all. I just got in and had my tea and now it's time to nurse the fur baby but will try and do a bit of a catch up in a bit as I've just had a read. nelly you so were duped! A lovely reply I thought. I'll be back...
buzzy I also need to get a life, I had to go and have a peek! I got it on the title.
buzzy a 40-something who has just had a lap, I think...
ha ha lemon we'd all be a bit if she had and was pregnant, come on ladies which thread
I don't know. I just suspect. Based on title and nelly's feeling of being duped.
I hadn't actually seen any of the posts that were removed on our thread, so it didn't quite hit the alarm bells. But I did wonder about the bump bump bump. Anyway thought I'd be nice, but I suppose I was a bit less encouraging than I might have been so I guess something was bugging me?
Doll pm'd me to tell me! I checked her name, it's new as of today. She appears to be on the Elderberry thread and they all know it's her, which is kind of confusing me.
oh nelly you are too kind, I did at the bump comment
But did she Dtd the day after the lap?
Having done a bit of research I suspect not. She told the sausagers the first 2 days after lap were incredibly painful, esp with the gas...
Art yes, it is in honour of the current BESH theme so will probably be quite short lived! I fancied a name change. I was going to go for something completely different, but this was suggested and seemed rather fitting.
My boobs have already grown a bit. I'm still wearing my usual bras but my cup is starting to overflow! I am concerned about the deflated balloon effect in future.... How many weeks are you now? All my work clothes are very fitted. I also carry all weight on my belly, so I think I am going to struggle to hide quite early.
Today the tiredness hit. I hadn't really had any, despite not sleeping much. After lunch today I almost curled up under my desk for a nap.
BTW, I hope nobody minds me mentioning symptoms on here. I am not doing it to flaunt it, but more to reassure myself that something seems to be going on. But if it bothers people, of course I will stop.
Welcome kellie. I've been a part of this thread for more than a year and a half and I have found it a great support.
nelly I'm off to investigate...
The research also told me why they recognised her on that fred, she gave really clear hints about her two most recent incarnations.
sausagers ? which thread is this on
Yes lemon the thing that confused me is they clearly know - it was a deliberate pointing out, but they seem to like her anyway? Weird??
Anyway, I think one or two of you should go on the new thread and start asking whether she felt up to sex after the lap, all innocently of course .
euro I for one don't mind. I like it. But I do sort of sit here with this >>> expression when you all mention this alien concept whereby you have something growing inside you.....
It's the Elderberry Pavlovas thread Buzzy - she seems to be a regular poster, and "joined" today under her new name, made it obvious who it was.
I don't mind in the slightest either euro. I am having some trouble getting my head round your diffage, so maybe the symptoms will convince me!
I suspect she will be reading here, so hello.
Euro, I don't mind. It's weird for me to hear about symptoms and bumps and things because it's like another world to me. Not sure if that makes sense.
Just had another bloomin pregnancy annoucnement, in a group email complete w ith scan photos. It's not an a* one, but scores quite high on the it shouldn't be their turn before mine scale. Not together of married that long, younger than me etc. I know they started trying in August and she's already 12 weeks. Sigh.
Joy, I'm sorry this is still full of uncertainty for you. Surely it's positive that the heartbeats are still going strong though?
Posting in bed with hare suspiciously close so this will not be an especially name checking thread and will catch v soon as I have a bit of time off this weekend! Yay!!!!
pout lovely keep going one foot in front of the other, I am thinking about you.
joy I'm so sorry you are still not in a position of any more clarity. But heartbeats is good and glad Roy is taking the calls. Hang in there.
euro is it totally bizarre that I liked hearing about your cups!!? Chat away about how you are doing, it is a big deal and hard earned. And you understand. So you get a permanent 10 plus wristband <cosy>
gin how is the evil disease? I remember I got potters antitis from holland and barrat and it seemed to do something?
So what a load of shite the ivf thread was, thanks MN for 'canvassing opinions' as if you didn't already know what they would be . It always goes like this
Condemn the barrens for living so wantonly and Putting it Off!
Ivf isn't a illness!
There's too many people in the planet! (own kids of course are not included)
Lower the age!
Bob down the shops and adopt, there's a dear.
Blah. It kind of appals me to read such uninformed judgey posts with no sense of other perspectives or criticality. Who are these women that 'deliberately' put it off? We don't live in isolation from our partners or lack of them, or health or circumstance. But I won't give that thread any words of mine. So I bunged them here! I'm not even that emotionally affected by it. It has resurfaced about 4 times since I started using MN. There is nothing new to say and the guidelines are just that.
I am not in the tent anymore. GP was good and kind and understanding. She took a while
not really that long to conceive herself which helped to hear. I potentially have some thyroid issues as my last tests were v borderline. I could do without this being true as it sounds like a ballache to put right but if it explains my feeling crappy it would be useful. But really she thinks I have post viral stuff which is what it is I suppose. She felt that I should try IUI first with clomid. Agh! She said the bleeding might indicate weak ovulation? So, I am going to pay for a 2nd opinion at some point but mostly I'm not hurrying into anything until I'm sure. If is start ivf not being ready, i think that would not pan out well. Pelvic scan next week. It had better not reveal a mammoth fibroid, I'm not being cut open for anything or anyone again so that would be game over.
Luffs to everyone, will endeavour to keep up a bit now. My job has sucked the life it of me for too long. I'm glad it's nearly spring.
Thanks ladies. Tell me shut up if I over do it.
mrsd I still feel like it is happening to someone else. Hence the efforts to convince myself. Sorry to hear about the announcement. I wish ttc obeyed a very English fair queuing system, with everyone getting their win in fair turn.
Ah poo about the announcement mrsden but you know this could so well be your year for making yours, I feel it in my water! I don't think ill ever make an announcement if I ever get diffed. It will be on a need to know basis until I'm so fat it's obvious. I want to be round and bump fat!
Are your waters well known for making predictions that come true? I hope so rabbit. I feel the same about you, and everyone on here. There's not too many of us unduffed left. The year of the snake is our lucky one. Wouldn't it be fab for us all to graduate arou d the same time?
I know I will never make an annoucnement. I'm pretty certain that I'll opt for an amnio, be ause of the risks from ivf so I don't think I'll tell anyone before those results. I'm not sure how possible that is, all depends on how sick or big I get.
I kind of felt certain princess would get her autumn bfp? And I thought doll was pregnant! And people on here who meet me seem to get diffed very quickly indeed, of you fancy a trip back. I charge the cost of my lunch
Just popping in to say that I am still here and trying to keep up with you all. Had a rather unplanned visit to the tent over the last few days. Having some uncomfortable
fecking itchy side effects from the drugs that have me down. Don't think it's thrush but will have to make another trip to the gp to rule it out. Keep hearing the consultant's words - evidence if chronic infection - and imagining my freshly repaired tube being covered in scar tissue and adhesions . To top it off ex boyfriend who couldn't hold a candle to MrM of course has just had baby number two and plastered it all over Facebook. Don't even ask why I am still friends with ex..........
Talk of previous interlopers did bring a wry smile to my face. Sorry for the duping nelly, but well done doll for warning quickly. The other thread know and like her because she hasn't turned on them yet. Give her time . Ooooh these drugs are making me tetchy.
euro please do share. You give me hope xx
rabbit ivf articles are not helping the mood. Sitting reading loads of comments by people telling me that i shouldn't be a parent is slightly disheartening. Need to just block it all out for now.
pout you have my heartfelt commiserations with the downregging. I have to stop the hrt in a few days so that it's all out of my system for ivf. I am dreading the return if full on menopause symptoms.
joy I am thinking of you xx
Big waves to everyone else and apologies for the very selfish post. I shall swing back to the positive and will make sure to catch up over the weekend.
Sorry for the unscheduled trip to the tent madness. It is rubbish. And getting ready for IVF will be equally exciting and unpleasant with the side effects.
Keep going pout you are doing really well.
I feel like a train drove over me last night, I'm so full of cold and coughs. So I am having a very slow day working from home...
madness big hug for you. You've been coping so amazingly well so far so a little stay in the tent is ok from time to time. Just remember that you dont want your ex's baby. It's hard. My ex had his first last year. I know what you mean about worrying about if the infection is back, I keep worrying that the cyst will grow back and stop ivf treatment once again.
My boss has returned from one of those courses where they teach you how to be a better manager so far today she has made us all coffee which is totally unheard of. And has told us all individually that we are valued members of the team, we're all a bit .
If that happened at my place mrsd I would think someone had slipped something in the water supply!
Sorry about the tent visit Madness. It gets us all sometimes.
Sorry you are feeling under the weather Drizz.
Talking of the weather, it was snowing lightly in London this morning. Brrr. This is all wrong. I distinctly put an order in for Spring!
it's been snowing on and off here since December euro. I think since then there has been 3 days max when there hasn't been snow on the ground. Temperatures are struggling to rise above 1°C. I'm so fed up of it, it looks pretty but is a PITA when you have to be out and about. It's forecast the same for the next week so I think spring is still some way off. I am so British, everyone here looks at me like this when I'm constantly moaning about it.
gin I think you asked me ages ago about what genetic tests we had done and I don't think I answered. This is what we had, it's probably the same as you: We both had a karotype test which looks at the chromosomes. DH's were fine, mine had one balanced translocation where the bits have swapped around so nothing is missing, they've just swapped places. Apparently 1% of the population have this and shouldn't have any bearing on ttc or health. DH had his Y chromosome analysed to check for microdeletions, again all was fine. We also both had the full check for the CF mutations, this wasn't just the 36 most common but for the 900 or so known ones. This was clear on both of us which is why they've concluded that our chances of having a child with CF are negligible.
Meh, I am running a high fever. So I am not wimpish, but really quite ill. And we have a friend from abroad coming to stay and I am stabbing, not sure if and how this will affect the egglets.
Get yourself dosed up on paracetamol lemons, that will help get your temp down. Plenty of drinks too. I hope you feel better soon.
madness sorry about the tent stay
lemon hope you feel better soon, agree with mrsd about the paracetamol, hot lemon and honey drinks too.
mrsd as long as your boss is genuine and it lasts, pity they have to go on a course to realise the obvious.
well I am home again with my migraine, think it more a bad stress headache from the crap day yesterday, just waiting for AF to start, I don't think we'll get another natural cycle in before starting DR. Kayla is being a good nurse again
Officially ill. IUI cycle canceled, I get to stop stabbing and am v unhappy with that. Never call the clinic in doubt
sorry to hear that lemon, its frustrating, rest up for next cycle, it will be your lucky one
Next cycle we'll be away, and the beginning of the one after that. So at this rate, barring a miracle, I'll be undiffed by The Due Date. Not looking forward to that.
due dates are tough lemon plan something nice for that day, I lit a candle to remember mine by, I also have a little momento that I can look at and hold, its good to remember but its also good to look forward as well
Bollocks lemons I can understand why you would be mightily pissed off. I decree that you will be diffed by your due date
Buzzy sorry that you too have been struck down by the dreaded migraine. That is one of the things I have promised myself actually that if the IVF is a washout then I am going to the GP to discuss beta blockers or something and try to get a handle on mine.
madness I can understand the visit to the tent.
mrsd I don't like the snow much. I have a ridiculous phobia about falling over so slippy pavements fill me with horror which unfortunately means that I start to walk like a pratt and end up slipping anyway.
shudders at incident many years ago when a punter thought I was a prostitute because I was loitering too long on a snowy corner
euro Symptom spot away on here. You are allowed to be diffed
Well the latest FFSakery is finding that my injections have frozen a bit at the back of the fridge. It seems to be just the packaging
I've pulled them forward and am putting my fingers in my ears and going lalala because I can't face another trauma
Quick paw squeeze for lemon. My FET was cancelled this cycle due to the stupid flu, but I'm pleased as want to give it the best chance of working and not waste ££s on a dud cycle. My flu was at a similar stage in my cycle to yours and although I got a positive opk at the right time, I've had lots of odd ewcm since then, so my cycle is a bit fooked
please may there not be a cyst fertility gods Look after yourself and you'll be back on the ttc merry go round before you know it.
Friday luffs and to all, apart from buzz who needs to get rid off the migraine so isn't allowed booze.
Oh lemon it's a bit rubbish that you think you will miss another couple of cycles. I will join in with Pout's decree that you will be diffed soon. It is a fact.
By the way I loved the thought that someone gave life to up thread (Rabbit maybe?) about us getting all pregnant in a clutch (fertile eggy reference!), and quietly closing the thread down, turning off the lights with a reflective backwards glance as we shut the door, and all walk off into the graduate sunset. I would LOVE that to happen
I'm sure the drugs'll be fine pout. If they were that fragile, surely they wouldn't let us
idiot barrens who let ourselves get too old non medically trained sorts loose with them.
Ah madness the tent dwelling is poop. You have been on the drugs way longer than most, so allow yourself to feel rubbish for a bit.
buzzy that was good advice to Lemon to not look back too much. We must all have a shot with your LC I think! Oooh, I got an exciting package in the post today . Thank you so much. They are massive though .
mrsden I much prefer snow to the usual rain we get. I am actually feeling very happy as it's been dry for a whole week or so. That hasn't happened in so long (literally, the last time I remember was last May ) and it just makes everything so much better. Cold crisp snow is lovely though. It just makes me want to get my skis on though.
Sorry for another short catch up. Had a busy day at work then got a scary email (don't want to say too much, but something we thought we had loads of time to get on with suddenly has a deadline rather close) so I need to go and do some important internet research. And it's not even TTC related, difficult though that is to imagine!
Happy weekend everyone. .
gin to the no booze, I am hoping to have a couple of glasses tomorrow
nelly that was quick, hopefully they will do the trick, don't forget the deal if they do I think personal experience has taught me not to look back, my first due dates were horrendous but this year I have managed better, I still have one more to go which is around my IVF time
Sorry to have been so awol this week. Work woe.
joy I am so sorry that you're still in limbo land. I can understand how incredibly frustrating it must feel to not be able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy <hollow laugh>. It's crap for all 10 plussers because we work so hard to get to that BFP and know how fragile it is, but I can imagine it must be particularly stressful for you with the dates measuring behind and the general rollercoaster of emotions you must be on right now. I am willing your two little beans to just be late bloomers. They are hanging in there and those heartbeats are still going. I've got everything crossed for you and am thinking about you loads.
lemon what a pain that you're not only ill but have to delay your next cycle. And I'm so sorry about the due date coming up - I know that's going to be really hard for you. buzz's suggestion of lighting a candle is a really lovely one. I take my hat off to you with how you've coped with all this. You're a brave lady and you so deserve to have a little one.
rabbit interesting about the clomid. How do you feel about going down that route instead of the IVF route?
pout gah, frozen drugs and headaches... what a nightmare. Hang in there - I hear that downregging is awful and you're nearly through to the other side. When your future little toddler misbehaves, you can complain to them about what crap you had to go through to bring them onto the earth! I wish one of us was cycling with you - hope that virtual handholding does the trick instead. Also, loved the dog beating comment !
euro don't go! I forbid it. And I like hearing about your symptoms - you are allowed, nay encouraged! Gives us hope.
buzz hope the migraine is a little better. Poor you.
nelly I loved your tale about the early morning mating ritual your husband sounds brilliant.
mrsd ooh, snow. No snow here, just miserable weather! I do agree though, I am so over winter. Let it be spring already! at the manager coming back from the 'how to be a better manager' course. Hope she keeps up the coffee-making!
madness I am sorry about the itchiness. Maybe some nice warm baths? And sorry you've been in the tent. I'm impressed you're FB friends with your ex - I am definitely not with mine - although I can see the appeal for stalky purposes - it's more that he never friend-requested me and I refuse to friend-request him .
gin how's the devil's disease?
doll I loved the 'are you an alcoholic' question.
art I also loved you saying you'd 'porked up' - not because you have - I'm sure you haven't! but because it's such a British phrase. Made me smile.
sar hope you're ok my lovely and not feeling as sad as you were.
All ok here - apart from the shite weather - it's what they call a 'wintry mix' which sounds like pick n mix to me. I have the Oscars to look forward to on Sunday, and tonight I'm going out to eat stinky cheese and charcuterie with a couple of pals here (both glamorous and child-free - I do so love having child-free friends). Then on Saturday we're going to a fancy restaurant for a friend's birthday, that MrC tells me 'was a favourite of the Bush twins' . Those Bush twins always seemed to know how to have a good time, so I have high hopes! Ooh and yesterday I spotted Hillary Clinton out walking around again <starstruck>.
critter someone at my place over there "summers" with the Bushes. They get about, it seems!
driz I am so sorry you are feeling poorly. Get well soon.
pout our fridge does that. We ended up keeping the drugs in one of the door compartments.
I hope everyone else is doing ok.
Pout - I have to say I would take snow any day over rain. Its been hovering around -1C lately which is just fantastic.
Lemon and gin - that sucks about the cycle delays, but hopefully it means it will work.
Buzzy - your suggestion is very nice. Definitely beats crying your eyes out like I did.
Critter- the charcuterie and cheese sounds delicious.
Madness- I hope the itchiness subsides.
Joy-Im still hoping things work out with the twins.
Euro - the symptom spotting gives me hope that one day I will get there.
Hello to anyone I may have forgotten.
I just had my first set of tests. The cd3 ultrasound resulted in the tech informing me that both my ovaries are very polycystic. Which means I may be moving away from unexplained - the only part that is odd is that the previous horomone tests looked good. So the positive from a shit week is that I might at least get a diagnosis.
I hope everyone has a nice weekend.
Good morning lovely ladies
Gosh - it has been busy on here. I will do my best to catch up.
Joy - I am soooo delighted that the London 2 are hanging on. Where there is life, there is hope. All of these tests are frightening and stressful. But do you know what, Dr's don't know everything and there is every chance that your babies are developing normally in relation to what is normal for your body. Someone else earlier said, how many women normally get the amount of checks that we do. There could be pregnant women walking around now with similar hcg and measurement results who are none the wiser. My Drs have been wrong on so many levels about things with me. I admire the strategies you are using. This is such a stressful time and it is great to hear you have positive and loving people all around you. Take care dearest Joy. xxxx
Kellie - welcome. It is a horrible feeling when those around keep getting pregnant so easily. This process really shakes us to the inner core of who we are. Sit tight and see what those test results bring - you are a step closer to your baby.
Pout - ooooo sorry for the headaches. It does seem to be a common side effect of down regging. It is not a nice process and moaning and being upset is 100% ok. Who else in the real world would just put up with these sorts of symptoms if they had to take medications that caused these types of side effects? Becuase it is fertility treatmemnt we are expected to soilder on.....but do you know what, these treatments are tough going and it is important to let off steam and say it sucks. You will be fine and will you will get your goal and although a cliche, it will be worth it. But very big hugs in the mean time sweetheart.
Rabbit - I am soooo glad you had a nice sympathetic Dr. I never quite know how to take it when people say they took a while to concecive. Usually that means 6 months and that type of experience just doesn't touch what we go through. However I am really pleased that your GP could empathise with what is happening. The post viral thing sounds likely - is there any treatment for that? Is the thryoid thing not treatable with short term meds? And how do you feel about the IUI option? Is she speaking from clinical experience with that recommendation? I think a second opinion is a great idea. One thing that is important to keep in mind is that you do have options (hopefully this applies to me too). IVF may be our answer but not the only way to conceive either. And none of your tests have ever been bad. I think you are like me and have a few mild multifactoral issues holding you back. From a statistical point of view, this just means it will take longer. From a real life point of view, it is heartbreaking and shattering. Glad you are out of the tent. Keep doing nice things and look in to that second opinion. I have heard about a lady Dr in the Birmingham area who is supposed to be brilliant with fertility via non IVF route - sorry don't know any more than that but maybe do some searches? The pelvic scan will be fine, I PROMISE. There is nothing to indicate you have new broids / cysts or other things of evil. But I know the worry will continue until the scan is over with. Not sure I entirely believe that bleeding is a sign of weak ovulation - I mean what does that mean? That the eggs doesn't pop out easily, or they are bad quality??? Someone with regular cycles and positive opk's and ok FSH such as yourself surely does not have weak ovulation. hmmmm
Nellie - sorry I am very behind with whats happening with you. But hooray for marching on with IVF round 2, ding ding. I thought Mr Nellie asked a brilliant question when he said "does the fact that you two produced good embryos overcome the AMH score issue". Please personally thank Mr Nellie from me. Although I have never had and hopefully never will have the AMH, it is reassuring to hear that by producing the embryos this is an indicater that AMH is no longer a huge hurdle. Doll's recent success is an enourmous boost to you and I. Often it just doesn't happen on the first go. Also I wanted to say sorry you were dupped by our freind Viv / whoever she is. But.....but but but, I have to say I am glad that you are the sort of person who would go to the aid of a stranger with some helpful and reassuring advice. In this awful cynical world in which we live I am always impressed when someone sticks their neck out and offers help even when there is a small niggle of doubt. I think it is great when people will do the right thing and don't stop doing the right thing even though there are others out there who will abuse it. Am I making sense? I just admire people who let the good shine through - that is you my lovely lady!!! However I am glad we now know she is back under her new name so we can be on guard.
Madness - you are not selfish at all. You are a lovely lady going through a hell of a tough time and are always here to pick others up when they are down. The side effects and doomy feeling are 100% normal. In fact if we all didn't take a trip to the tent now and again I think I would be more worried. It is inevitable with what we have to go through that we are going to get down. Sometimes I can hardly believe that we all manage to hold down busy jobs, social lives, run houses, have hobbies, do family things etc when you consider the level of burden upon us. I just don't think other people in real life could handle it. Being in the tent can be helpful as it enables us to get in touch with our feelings and fears and then create a new plan of action. Sorry about the ex-bf. But thank goodness you aren't having babies with him and thank goodness you will be having babies with Mr Madness to create a mini madness. . I understand the fear that the scarring has grown back. Wish we had a window to peek inside. But in all honestly it would take years for things to get back in to the condition they were again. Onwards and upwards towards stimming for you sweetheart - not much longer.
Euro - I am sooo excited to hear that you need a bigger bra (said in the way that ony ttc 10+ ers could say of course ). And I am glad to hear you have been a bit sicky and sleepy. No - I want to hear it all!! I am 100% crazy happy for you and the other girls with the BFP's and I want you here to help steer our crazy ship of conception. When you described your symptoms, it does remind me of my pregnancy - I had all those symptoms to an extreme extent from around 9 dpo of my pregnant cycle. However, the extent of my symptoms may have meant something was probably wrong. But what you and Doll have been experiencing sounds perfect. Have you had any more spotting? Have you told anyone in real life?
Doll - how are you? Are you coping ok with the early pregnancy symptoms and your little one to look after? You have got an unusual situation I agree. Most first pregnancies can be accomodated with extra naps and snacks - but you already have your hands full. I am so excited to think of how wonderful family life will be for you - the 4 of you together forever. xxx
Den - your boss sounds interesting! And how fake, does he not realise that you all see straight through him???? I agree the snow is a pita. When do you two start IVF?
Ahhhh Lemon - how disappointing. I am sorry for the cold and the cancelled IUI. It sounds like you should be tucked up with a hot water bottle. Better to let your body rest and recover and be all shiny and strong for next month instead. Sending some hot toddy's your way - whisky??? Nellie is that the right spelling? I think it is natural to think of due dates and hope / expect to be updiffed again. The best piece of advice I can give you (although not entirely mastered this myself) is let go of dates and times as benchmarks for when things should happen. Easier siad than done. I am struggling with the idea of not having a baby when my sibling annouces her happy news presumably sometime this year or next. It is sooo hard sometimes.
Buzz - sorry for yet another migraine. Goodness me, are they stress or hormone related? Thank goodness for Kyla - she is a member of this TTC thread in her own right with the amount of comfort and giggles she has sent our way. I should have opened this message with morning ladies and feline. I am sorry that the last natural cycle hadn't worked out. However you seem very at peace with where you are heading (both emotionally and geographically) and in a way you can really start getting on with things now. Never have I been so certain that someone will become a mother - and what a lucky child it will be to have a mother like you.
Gin - sorry you had a weird cycle last month - are you ready for FET? Excited for you.
Critter - your weekend sounds fun. I am always impressed with your positive energy and attempts to make sure nice things happen. Where are you up to - is the plan still do do IVF very soon?
Sweet - OK, honey. First of all, sorry for the nasty shock of learning there is somethng. That isn't nice. But you are right, with a diagnosis, you can work towards putting it right. I don't know much about polycystic ovaries but I think clomid is a drug they use to help ovulation to occur. In fact a good freind of mie who ttc for 3 years got pregnant the first month she was on clomid. Stay positive, lots of ways forward for you. Take care and do something nice this weekend.
Well I am less sad then I was, the hormones were definatly not helping just before my period last week. I discussed my last cycle with my reflexologist last night. She agrees implantation was the likely culpret of dull crampyness and ovary activity on 6/7 dpo last month. She thinks it was simply a case of "not this time". I feel like something is coming to an end as I march towards the 3 year mark. In my sad moments I feel me and DH might call it quits as if this 3rd IVF cycle fails then we may need to face reality. But in my positive moments, I feel that the small repair work of the lap has put me back at the start with a fresh slate if that makes sense. Although I am a bit worried that this corpus leteum cyst might cause some tempory problems. Anyway, I think the next 2-3 months are going to be interesting for me and DH - not saying it will result in a baby but I think we might end up changing somehow. All a bit scary but then nothing really wrong either.
I am cd 7 of my natural FET cycle. I have a scan on Thursday and transfer will likely be around cd 20ish. However, I keep having to slap myself to remember all this. Its as if my brain really hasn't registered what I am doing. I have been drinking wine without thinking etc. I guess I have been in this IVF process for so long now that it doesn't really register any more. . I don't know what will happen, but maybe I am living one day at a time for now which is good. My new obsession is getting to the coast as often as possible. Also want to get bit fitter so will attempt some early morning swimming sessions. I keep having very weird dreams too. Two nights a go I dreamt I was 5.5 weeks pregnant (and 5.5 weeks exactly for some weird reason) as a result of my last cycle even though I had had a period. Last night I dreamt I saved a freind from drowning from a boggy lake in my garden (does not exist), she then got in to my bed to recover. I brought her up a toffee yoghurt( just like the ones I use at work in assessments) and when I opened it it was full of hairs and a teddy bears head.
On that note, have a lovely weekend.
morning ladies, man is it freezing here,
rabbit how is your bunny doing ??
sweet after my first miscarriage my obsession was to be pregnant by my first due date, I got pregnant but miscarried again, not helped by a colleague being pregnant at the same time. First due date came I was an emotional mess, again main obsession was to be pregnant by second due date, didn't happen and I had a melt down over it all. I just think that although I haven't forgotten them and do sometimes wonder what they would be like now, they are in the past and I cannot change the past and cannot predict the future so best to get on with now and make the most of it. Having a cat helps as we fuss her and treat her like a baby, which she loves
Sorry about the diagnosis, although hopefully they will put a plan in place to tackle this and could prove to be the key to success for you
sar oooh very exciting about your FET, can I ask are you thinking of uterine scratching or assisted hatching?? You brought a tear to my eye with lovely kind things you said thank you, I do feel at peace and accepting that we won't do it ourselves, although did hope we would, it also just affirms for me that DE is the way to go for us, I'm not really fussed with trying again naturally, might even sell my cbfm.
I'm not sure if Kayla is keen on the idea of a baby buzzy she has tried to 'ruin the moment' a few times , she is very spoiled, Barry seems to think she'll come round to the idea as it will be another person to love her, I think she won't as it will a person to compete with for attention oh dear I am becoming a crazy cat lady
gin when will you be starting you FET cycle???
critter enjoy you child free time, it won't belong before the big finger points your way
well i'm off for my boozy lunch
Kayla sends you all whisker tickling kisses
Oh dear I am pissed and have stilen flowers from the posh bar in knightsbridge but a bloody good time was had by all what is barry going to say when I get home
Heh. It sounds like you had a fab day! I wasn't too far from you - seeing the Wildlife Photography exhibition at the NHM in South Ken.
ah we could have met for a drink, well I could have had a drink for you
It sounds like you did anyway!
ha it is Fay she is a bad influence on me, last time we met for drinks at this place, we ended up drinking someone elses dom peri and I had my wedding dress and underwear, I managed to get on the tube, change at green park and get on the train home, have a nap and get off with wedding dress and underwear still in my hand my flowers look so pretty
Buzzy . How's the head today
Buzz I'm now wondering where you are. I would also change at Green Park coming from Knightsbridge...
I hope the head isn't too hurty this morning and you are enjoying your bonus pretty fleurs.
What a very unpleasant person you are. You were offered a lot of support here as viv. No one on this thread deserves your unbalanced vitriol.
Euro. what happened? Just popped on to see your message and another one deleted
hi *madness a very good thing you didn't see it. I feel ill. Hi to all and happy Sunday.
Madness it was a succession of nasty personal attacks aimed at people on this thread. All rather unpleasant.
Wassup doll? I hope the illness is not related to that post?
<Distributes happy vibes, like confetti, around the thread>
Nothing euro only, indeed, reaction to message <moves on>
I need to do a proper catch up soon.
Glad i did miss it then! Sorry you two had to see it xx
Glad I missed the unpleasantness of an internet troll. I joined this thread because you all seemed wonderful and very supportive.
buzzy - the due date was particularly rough for me because AF showed up, it was my birthday, there was a pregnancy announcement and my SIL
who is a cow made comments about how I will never have kids. So it was a snowball of awfullness that was made worse because I am incredibly oversensitive right around the time my period starts - probably because of horomones. I have two spolied 7 year old kitties that have been with me for a long time. They think they are my babies
*Sar*- it took one of my friends 4 years to conceive and eventually did on her latest assisted cycle. Swimming at the coast sounds really nice.
*Den*- thats great your boss made coffee. Mine took one of those seminars. Now he announces when he feels overwhelmed and uses his newfound communication skills as an excuse to be exceptionally difficult.(hmm) which I doubt was the point of the course.
I had a lovely weekend and went hiking in a wooded area, which is one of my favorite winter activities - it is nice and quiet. Big waves to everyone.
And there was an emoticon fail on my part.
Yay to rugby buzzy . A very good cure for a hangover . That said, MrM is not enjoying the fact that Ireland look to be f**king it up.....
Starting a new knitting project. Good for a Sunday afternoon, even if it does make me feel about 80 .
sweet I can't believe that your sil said that. How incredibly insensitive. Some people do not think, do they?
Is it just me who is both happy not to have seen the nasty message while also immensely frustrated to not know what was said?
I am emerging from the tent. Still feeling a bit rough but only a few weeks until next clinic appointment so the end is in sight for downregging. Met some lovely babies the other day and didn't feel in the way I used to. For that I am very grateful. Perhaps I will struggle again once the ivf journey is complete if things don't work out but I don't want people to feel awkward around me or me to feel upset by their happiness. Maybe I have turned a corner.
Thanks sar for your supportive message and to everyone else who offered reassurance.
Okay, back to my knitting. Maybe I will grab a blanket and put the fire on too .
Just sticking my head in, I have corned off a bit of the tent as a sick corner, as I have been boiling my eggs (thanks to three days of stabbing I have twinges both right and left) all weekend. I'll be off ill tomorrow still as I am running a reasonably high fever still.
Just wanted to say yay for the real sar emerging from the tent, that was an old-fashioned incredibly lovely post. Thanks for the support from the others as well - I might well light a candle and/or chat to the counsellor near the time again (it is in 2 months, so I have some miracle months still to go). Good luck with the last bit of down-regging pout. at pished buzzy. Glad I missed it but still curious about the vivtriol. Very glad this fred is so incredibly nice generally.