Five and the Mystery of the Declining Fertility - the BESH engage the services of the Famous Five to track down their baybees and finish with lashings of ginger beer. Topping!

(998 Posts)
ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 10:59:31

Morning everyone, just let me wolf down this amazing meal of tinned tongue, hardboiled eggs and ginger beer (don't you find food always tastes so much better outside?) and we'll toddle off on our latest adventure. We'll make sure Anne does the washing up (you'll make a proper little housewife and no doubt the fecund mother of four fine sons one day Anne <approving>) and us boys can have the proper adventures! No, not you George - you're nearly as good as a boy but not quite. Leave the actual procreating to me and Dick. Woof woof! Shut up Timmy!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 11:04:33

PS any newbies welcome. Just as long as you are in your thirties, slightly bitter and twisted about, have been TTC since Enid Blyton was writing, are allergic to babydust and use of the terms hun, hubby, BD and bubs smile Find the questionnaire which is lurking in the annals somewhere and fill it in. We will be ready to peruse accordingly (bugger it, who am I kidding, no one has ever failed apart from one person )

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 11:32:18

Where are you, hags? <plaintive>

evilgiraffe Tue 15-Jan-13 11:43:12

Oh, this is jolly exciting! I wonder who failed, and why - darling Rie, be a brick and explain, would you? I'll just sit here sucking at a tin of condensed milk while you make yourself comfortable.

<sits down cross-legged, smiles winningly>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 11:47:53

Jolly good! Sit by Timmy there would you. No Timmy, she's not a stranger. TIMMY - STOP BITING.

Well someone crashed the Palais who had 2 children already and was 27 and asked to join. You know the BESH criteria <dark>. Trouble is, we were going through some anguished soul searching at the time, because a lot of us had secondary fertility and people were saying they didn't feel welcome because they had one child already. Caused no end of hoo har. We soon sorted it out though with some hard boiled eggs and pork pie.

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 12:08:00

I say! What topping fun!

Timmy, get your nose out from under my skirt, unless your clue-sniffing abilities also extend to clues about broken wombles.

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 12:08:59

That's not condensed milk, draf...

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 12:09:58

I propose three cheers for aries for such a super thread.

EuroShagmore Tue 15-Jan-13 12:19:23

Hurrah, for a super, super thread.

<Adopts Timmy as baby susbstitute>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 12:20:50

He's mine. Give him back. Timmy is MY DOG.

EuroShagmore Tue 15-Jan-13 12:37:46

It shows how utterly, utterly menkul today I am that when I first read that I got a bit upset at you trying to take an imaginary dog away from me. FFS.

<Batters self with haddock>

SinkyMalinks Tue 15-Jan-13 12:47:03

Super fun boys!

Mother's packed me some fizzy pop and some tomato sandwiches (wrapped in brown paper). I've put them in my bicycle basket, ready for some ripping adventure.

I think there's a disused railway tunnel/abandoned row boat down the hill...

DOWN TIMMY!

<those were for my lunch. Grumble grumble>

(I never read famous five, but did like Swallows and Amazons. So will be channeling super lake district, sailing fun, together with inappropriate jokes about swallowing.)

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 15-Jan-13 13:00:34

Oh how spiffing! <necks some alcoholic ginger beer>

Er, someone needs to stop Timmy from humping the postman's leg.

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 13:06:55

<screams with laughter at poor sad euro in an appropriately callous EB way>

<scrubs euro with carbolic soap, to bring her back to a proper state of mind>

Uncle Quentin gave me half a crown for being a good girl wibble. Ices all round!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 13:32:01

SpiffingSinky (can I call you that?), I think that Swallows and Amazons and Famous Five sentiments are much of a muchness, even if S and A pre-dated FF a bit. Anyway, there is the same obsession with focus on Adventure, Independence, Picnics and Lashings of Gin lemonade and tinned tongue.

Timmy, leave the nice postman alone.

<gobbles ice> Gosh, thanks Uncle Quentin. Fancy taking out time from all the Important Science to give us a half crown. Do we think Uncle Quentin could be persuaded to devote his super mind on fertility research?

Now about that disused railway tunnel which needed exploring...

SinkyMalinks Tue 15-Jan-13 16:50:41

Ooh, I like spiffingsinky. But it does sound a bit like spaffing, and I know how dirty minded you lot are. and I would need to ask Ries permission before changing

I must say chaps, it's been splendid fun today <brushes mud from tweed shorts and adjusts braces>.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 15-Jan-13 17:54:58

Splendid indeed, just the weather for a picnic, isn't it?

grin at menkulling over ariel's imaginary dog ownership.

Having very George hair after wearing a head (whilst traipsing about at the train station in the countryside).

Must read rest of last fred. But good job, arie. Excellent work. Oh and fanks uncle Q!

FriendofDorothy Tue 15-Jan-13 18:58:21

I always wanted to be in an Enid Blyton novel. Usually Mallory Towers though.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 19:09:22

We had a Malory Towers thread once. It was spiffing. My name was Clarissa Twat-Smythe.

evilgiraffe Tue 15-Jan-13 19:38:06

Ooo, I liked Mallory Towers. Was that the one with the swimming hole at the bottom of a cliff and Kathleen with greasy hair that no-one liked? I still dislike the name Kathleen because of that.

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 19:49:57

Wasn't Kathleen in St Clare's? The one with the greasy-haired brother. And their mother was matron. Or was that Eileen?

JethroTull Tue 15-Jan-13 19:51:55

Ooooh jolly good show Rie. Fabulous thread. <unpacks slab of ginger cake>

The Malory Towers thread was what inspired me to ask to join the hallowed BESH.

So hags I have TWO fertilised eggs. Am praying that they continue developing so that we can have transfer on Thursday.

GET DOWN TIMMY!!!

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 15-Jan-13 19:53:13

Golly rie you mustn't disturb Uncle Quentin, he's jolly clever but can't stand the noise we children make. Let's go shrimping in the rock pools around Kirrin Bay. Silly little Anne can't come though, she fell in last year and made every such a fuss.

I must say, in my younger days I thought it would be rather grand to attend an Enid Blyton style boarding school. But then I remembered that school was ghastly and living there would be just beastly.

In between adventures and cream teas today, I checked with another ov stick; I have definitely missed my chance this month sad

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 19:59:56

No no no, you're all wrong. Kathleen with the horrid greasy hair and spots was at Whyteleafe with the Naughtiest Girl In The School, Elizabeth Allen. She was miraculously cured of her spots when she took up horse riding and gardening. Malory Towers did have the lido though.

<sends diving thoughts to *Jeff's& simply marvellous fertilized eggs>

Leave Jethro's eggs alone Timmy. Get down. Timmy, STOP EATING JETHRO'S EGGS. What a simply rotten dog.

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 20:02:53

Jolly good show, jeff, old thing! Let me clap you on the shoulder in friendly congratulation! Have you asked Cook to make you a picnic for Thursday?

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 15-Jan-13 20:04:58

Oh Jeffers how utterly splendid <clasps hands to cheek and attempts to simper a la Anne>

evilgiraffe Tue 15-Jan-13 20:06:25

Ah, I was half right then.

What was the book where a group of kids befriend some dude who lives in the woods? He taught them all about Nature, but these days I suspect patents would drag their kids away shrieking about pedophilia...

evilgiraffe Tue 15-Jan-13 20:08:01

Oh and Jeff that is bally brilliant! Excellent news, what?

(apologies for being Crap With Feem, Bertie Wooster seems to be the closest I can do)

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 20:14:13

That was Six Cousins on Mistletoe Farm, draf. And Tammylan the wild man was always taking the youngest boy off to sleep in the woods with him. Hmmm.

evilgiraffe Tue 15-Jan-13 20:16:00

I loved it, Norf, but it does sound so massively creepy these days, doesn't it? hmm

evilgiraffe Tue 15-Jan-13 20:18:29

shock I've just noticed that my iPad "corrected" to the wrong American spelling! Apologies, I meant paedophilia of course.

Whenever I see "pedophile" I always think it sounds like someone who likes feet...

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 15-Jan-13 20:20:56

Oh jeff I didn't see your post, your news is simply smashing! <clasps hand, shakes firmly>

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 20:23:07

I loved ALL Enid Blyton. Even now I get cross when people criticise her. What on earth is wrong with giving your cast off plimsolls to gipsy girls and teaching them to blow their nose, anyway?

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Tue 15-Jan-13 21:27:21

Tally ho chaps. Look at these ingots i've found (lumps of gold!!)

Well done on the eggs Jeffers - have some orange cordial and cucumber sandwiches for good luck.

I was giggling at the other fred at my desk at work earlier. North you are hilarious, I can't wait for Tuesday. Squeeee.

<remembers must act all poshlike>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 21:28:39

Are you MEETING???? <outraged>

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 15-Jan-13 21:29:00
JustplainoldBuggerlugs Tue 15-Jan-13 21:29:58

Yep <proud> on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jump on a train and get yoursen up't'north woman.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 21:41:36

Well I would. But I have to go and see sick father instead. Who else is joining this social occasion?

<bursts into tears>

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 21:46:17

rierie, I have wanted to meet you for ever, but it is scarcely my fault that you have inexplicably failed to move house to a city where my work has an office, now, is it?

bugs, I am a bit boring in real life. Just warning you. Maybe bring a book to read in the loos or something.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 21:47:50

<sniffs>

Northey Tue 15-Jan-13 21:52:25

In a sniffy way or a sad way? <sympathetic>

Poor rie, how is your father doing? Has he been discharged or is he stil in hospital? Whereabouts is he? Nowhere conveniently closer to other BESH?

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 15-Jan-13 21:55:58

<pats rie on shoulder>

rie nobody wants to see me and there are plenty of BESH in the Big Smoke smile I will be down your way in September; if I haven't bored you to death by then we could have our own social occasion.

Yay for frankel, frankel!

JethroTull Tue 15-Jan-13 21:56:51

A BESH meet? How simply splendid. I do hope you're both meeting on a beach or in a small village cafe. Remember to wear your gaberdines won't you! And do write to us all to tell us about the japes you'll get up to. I'm so green with jealously I could burst!

SinkyMalinks Tue 15-Jan-13 22:16:24

Cripes! A Northern meet up? But I didn't get the telegram...

<occupies self unknotting string to use as fishing line tomorrow>

excellent work jeffers. Good job the banana did the trick, what with rationing and those bally fritz u-boats, we won't be seeing one of those again.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 22:16:43

A sad way.

Winkles that will be fab <grateful>

He is Bad Norf. Thinking about vascular dementia now.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 15-Jan-13 22:19:08

What ho old chaps! Delightful to see the new residence!

Jeffers how spiffingly spectacular! Lashings of ginger beer all round to celebrate smile when is the next step?

I luffed Enid Byltob, especially Mallory Towers and famous five. I too thought it would be jolly good fun to go to boarding school or pretend to be a boy hmm

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 15-Jan-13 22:20:25

Oh rie that is pants sad send me a PM telegraph if you want advice/an ear to bend.

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 15-Jan-13 22:23:25

Oh rie that's crap about your dad, I'm sorry sad

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 22:25:37

But on another note, Bastard Consultant is better so can start the IUI next cycle. Assuming I haven't had an ironi-diff <laughs mirthlessly>

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 15-Jan-13 22:25:57

I'm sorry about your dad Rie, very un-MNty hugs for you sad

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 15-Jan-13 22:27:47

So sorry, I just badly badly phrased the dad thing. He is in hospital having more scans - CT yesterday (inconclusive), MRI tomorrow - no decisions or anything. Sister and I suspect that's what it is (vascular dementia). Every symptom fits.

And my car broke down today. Then it was fixed <pointless anecdote>

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 07:57:40

I say, ariel, what beastly luck <sympathetic> I hope the MRI is helpful and positive today.

jethro, is there any more news of the embryos? Are they all growing nicely?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 10:38:06

I have had IUI cancelled now again.

SinkyMalinks Wed 16-Jan-13 10:42:35

Why rie? Consultant issues again?

EuroShagmore Wed 16-Jan-13 10:54:06

Rie Sorry that you are mizz about your dad. I hope the MRI brings positive news.

WTF is going on with your IUI? It's only squirting some spaff up you ffs! How can the hoz be making it this difficult?!?

Jeff how simply spiffing! What good eggs!

I've had a tiny bit of spotting overnight, so Droid is on its way for me. And then it's on to IVF. Yay. But meh.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 11:17:41

No this time they say I need to get some allergy testing done. Which is only sensible I guess. But u do wish they had said this in November when I first said I was wondering about allergies preventing surface. I was told no, don't worry about that by the nurse. Now the consultant has said they won't do anything until they get the ressults. I have no idea how long an allergy test referral takes <throws things>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 11:18:34

Apparently the phone thinks the word surface is more common than diffage. Twat.

SinkyMalinks Wed 16-Jan-13 11:24:54

<passes ginger beer with gin chaser >

We'll set Timmy on them.

In all seriousness, this is what pisses me off. If you had been seen properly the first time, this would have been sorted or at least in progress. Instead you got a pat on the head from a nurse and now you can't move on.

Five go wild with four letter words.

Cuntbadgers.

EuroShagmore Wed 16-Jan-13 11:47:43

Wot Sinky said, particularly the last bit.

What allergies do you think might be preventing diffage (or surface)?

alwyn Wed 16-Jan-13 11:52:13

"Cuntbadgers."

Awesome. Simply awesome. I personally like the Bottom term of "wankbiscuit".

rie, have some very un-MNetty hugs from me.

Work situation is picking up - had an initial phone interview this morning and have another face-to-face tomorrow. There are irons in fires and I'm feeling quite optimistic about getting something soon.

<hands round sardine sandwiches and home-made lemonade>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 11:59:04

I have quite a dramatic allergy every now and then but no one knows what to. No one has ever suggested allergy testing before, even though I was given an Epipen last autumn. I spoke to FC nurse yesterday and mentioned it, and she went away and spoke to the consultant who then said today he's not treating me until I have the testing results. This could take months and months and I am so worried about my age and crappy AMH levels. I started to cry on the phone and she said "I haven't upset you, have I?" Actually, yes.

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 12:37:41

Stupid wankwitted nurse! Why can't faify retrain as a speshul gynae nurse and look after us all? She would never say such a schtooopid thing.

Will it definitely take months, for certain? I know private iui funding might be hard, but could allergy testing be cheap enough that going fast and private might be an option?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 14:55:37

I don't know. I am currently too weary to think about it. Weltschmerz, that's what I have. Weltschmerz.

EuroShagmore Wed 16-Jan-13 15:29:33

FFS. Is it really too much to expect these clinics to get their flipping acts together? Grrrr.

Well, Droid has arrived here. I just called the clinic to book in for my day 6 scan on Monday. I reckon I'll be at EC a week or so after that. Eek. (Sorry Rie I hope you don't think I am rubbing it in.) I'm just a bit in shock that it is all happening, finally. This is cycle 28 for us.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 16-Jan-13 15:38:29

Oh Rie that's just utterly shit <hands over generous slice of homemade treacle tart & gin>. Honestly, you expect better of fertility "experts".

Sorry about droid Euro <hurls droid over nearest waterfall>

Any more news on the egg-lets Jeffers?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 16-Jan-13 17:14:08

rie that's beyond crazy! I hope they get themselves sorted pronto,

I dunno about gynae nursing....I can imagine it would be quite nice but I'm not convinced it would be any easier looking after you lot than my luffly demented patients hmm

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:19:38

But faith, we are nicely behaved middle class children with side partings and t-bar shoes! How could we possibly be any trouble?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 16-Jan-13 18:35:10

You keep disappearing and getting involved with criminals of the underworld! Yet you expect me to pack you up with homemade lemonade and picnics all the time?!

LPplusOne Wed 16-Jan-13 18:43:26

Ummmm...

<takes deep breath to re-out self as a foreigner, yet again>

Never read any FF nor anything remotely Blyton but can I still have some of that ginger cake?

Puleeeeeeeze?

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:46:15

Precisely, faith. We need a long suffering maid. I would very much like to be called Miss Northey from now on as well. And be allowed a go on the dinner gong.

Ok, ok, put the scalpel down wink

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 18:49:30

Does the plus one indicate you have laid, LP? shock

JethroTull Wed 16-Jan-13 18:50:37

Hags I need the collective power of BESH. We only have one embryo left. It's got to keep developing for us to have embryo transfer tomorrow. Please light a candle, throw some fish, say a prayer, send positive vibes etc. My new mantra for tonight is It Only Takes One.

Rie, just these xxxxxxx

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:50:59

I fink she has been plusone for a while, name-wise. Not that that means she hasn't laid now of course <interested>

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 18:54:17

<prays to God> <throws cod> <hopes she's got it the right way round>

jethro, you are damn right it only takes one, and we are with you and your embryo all the way.

Did they just phone?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 18:54:19

It only takes one. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO XXXXXXXXXXXCXX

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 16-Jan-13 18:56:46

<lights a candle & starts chanting>

Rooting for you and eggy Jethro

LPplusOne Wed 16-Jan-13 19:00:29

<lights torches and joins chanting>

IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.

Northey Wed 16-Jan-13 19:00:31

Hang on, we still have the leyline map from the woo thread. <kneels at crossroads and channels magic energy towards embryo>

Hang in there jeff. This is definitely the script for a Diffage Against The Odds story.

LPplusOne Wed 16-Jan-13 19:01:36

(And nope, haven't popped yet. +One's head is engaged, though, so now it's just the waiting game...)

IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 16-Jan-13 19:07:26

IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO.IOTO. IOTO

Rooting for your tiny egg and its destiny to be your baybee jeff!

JethroTull Wed 16-Jan-13 19:16:17

Thanks Hags. Exciting for you LP when is your due date?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 16-Jan-13 19:16:40

I've never known what "head is engaged" means. Down?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 16-Jan-13 19:16:55

IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO
IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO
IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO
IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO

Keeping everything crossed for continued development, go little minijeff.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 16-Jan-13 19:18:12

And yay for the +one's engagement LP. Just make sure you brain wash read to the poor kid with the lido and boarding school and dogs and adventures!

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 16-Jan-13 20:06:47

IOTO

Fingers crossed for you Jeff

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 16-Jan-13 21:34:10

It means the head is down into the cervix area so the baby is upside down basically.

IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO

<Chants, lights candle, says prayer, crosses finger, kisses lucky egg>

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Jeth - IOTO.

JethroTull Wed 16-Jan-13 21:57:58

Thanks everyone. Bugs you made me grin with 'kisses lucky egg'. If it works it'll be down to that!

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 16-Jan-13 23:57:07

This has been a beastly day, chums. My 8 hour shift became a 15 hour shift, and when I got home I discovered I had lost my keys. I drove to HWCA to get his keys, as he was at work, and when I FINALLY got home my own keys magically reappeared. Harrumph.

Will send lots of positive thoughts your way overnight Jeff

LPplusOne Thu 17-Jan-13 00:15:16

Head engaged means that the head has settled down into the pelvis, so in birthing position. I'm only 36+5 wks, though, and it could still be weeks before +One's grand entrance.

Sorry to read about your dad Rie.

Glad that the gnomes returned your keys Winks. Norty gnomes.

<Another wave of the IOTO flag for Hefe>

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 04:56:49

IOTO IOTO IOTO. Good luck this morning, jethro.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 06:48:51

Blimey, you're up early Norf!

Any way, another round of chanting for Jeffers:

IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO

grin

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 07:00:27

Couldn't sleep for worrying about a deadline today for which I have done NOTHING. Yesterday, which I'd set aside for it, was one interruption after another. Anyway, I'm on my way in to the office now, to hide in a side room with some coffee and chocolate biscuits and backbone and get something done.

I have to find a slot for drug delivery too, and my diary is just packed for the next two weeks. Work are great and have said that ivf shiz is my priority, but that doesn't help me rearrange things when everything is so urgent.

IOTO!

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 07:01:28

Every time I looked up the other day, Frankel was galloping across the work screens, by the way smile

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 07:36:56

Glad to hear it Norf - no day is complete without a Frankel fix grin

Good that work are being supportive, just the way it should be. I had a chat with my new boss (she took over at the start of the year) and she was very good. She said her sister and several friends have been through IVF so she knows what a head-screwer fertility issues can be.

evilgiraffe Thu 17-Jan-13 07:44:37

Everything crossed for The One, jeff.

I was most impressed at Frankel being officially The Best. Still, not sure he'll ever supersede Desert Orchid as my favourite racehorse, though.

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 17-Jan-13 07:54:33

Know how you feel at work norf. Glad you have a supportive employer; my "employer" (though technically I'm not an employee) has a policy re ivf, but in practice they're as arsebadger-y about that as everything else.

IOTO

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 17-Jan-13 09:05:56

IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTOIOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTOIOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTOIOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTOIOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTOIOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTOIOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTOIOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO

How is the little embie doing today jeff?

draf seems a little sacrilegous - to a no-nothing 'bout horseys person. That makes me a bad famous five, right? Unless I am Timmy or god forbid Anne.

Sorry work is on paper supportive, but in practice useless, norf and twinkle. I haven't had to try or tell anyone at work, I have a reasonable amount of flexibility so the one IUI that happened on a week day, I claimed to need to work from home for the morning to wait for a parcel of swimmers It will be more challenging with IVF. But then we're not doing that until April/May/June, because we're going on a three week holiday in March smile

How is work for the deadline going norf? I am writing another paper this weekend, and having a study day to do the first bit tomorrow morning...

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 09:46:31

IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO XXXXXX

Don't worry about not knowing much about matters equine. All you need to know about are the little gypsy ponies which are drawing our caravans during our latest adventure

<opens up tin of tongue and offers round with jam>

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 17-Jan-13 09:49:01

Shall we go camping in the snow this weekend? With a caravan and an open fire seem to be channeling more of a cowboys and indians story there but hey Cook/mother has made us flapjack smile

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 09:55:04

Definitely. With simply a canvas tent, sleeping on bare ground, and cotton sleeping bags. I might go for a bathe! After all, only girls get cold.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 17-Jan-13 10:03:00

We can bring a hot water bottle for Anne, she always complains about the cold girls, whatever.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 10:04:44

<scornful>

<impatiently awaits Jeffers>

EuroShagmore Thu 17-Jan-13 10:40:37

IOTO! <Is late to the party, as usual>

LP not long to go now! Does head engagement mean you are waddling?

The cold thing means I should probably be drippy Anne. I am always bloody freezing and complain about it lots.

It's my birthday today. I am surprisingly undepressed about this. I think I got all my mizz out of my system earlier this week.

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 10:47:11

Happy birthday euro! Have a tongue sandwich in celebration wink

Don't we have some sort of roll out bag things that we stuff with heather or dried grass or something, rather than lie on bare ground? <dredges memory>

I am making progress with work, but might need a break to buy crisps. I am STARVING at the moment. If only it were a sign...

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 10:48:34

Happy Birthday Euro! have some of cook's scrummy treacle sponge with lashings of custard to warm you up grin

Any news Jethro??? <impatient>
IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO IOTO

planning on POASing again tomorrow as temp still up

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 10:53:36

Ahem. I have been asked to relay a Very Important Message <feels speshul> Jeff's little embryo did its stuff and is ready for transfer this afternoon grin

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 17-Jan-13 11:00:51

Eeek! The power of the BESH positive thinking! Now going with very sticky vibes for jeff. smile

Happy birthday euro! Do you get the day off work?

I am waiting for the bus to go to work. MSB has the car. Tis now only -3, was -10 confused. Fricking freezing. Happily we have agreed to buy another car so soon these experiences will all be in the past grin

evilgiraffe Thu 17-Jan-13 11:03:49

S'alright, driz, Desert Orchid died a long time ago and retired a good long while before that. He could jump like you wouldn't believe and when the crowd cheered he just ran faster smile

Flapjack and camping sounds fabulous! Do you think Cook could be persuaded to bring us hot cocoa?

evilgiraffe Thu 17-Jan-13 11:04:21

Oh, and happy birthday Euro!

EuroShagmore Thu 17-Jan-13 11:26:29

Hurrah for the Jeffembie!

Thanks for the spiffing birthday wishes, chapesses. I'm at work but not doing much!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 11:32:22

Ooo well done Jeffembie (love that!)

<gives Rie a Speshul Little Helper badge>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 11:50:57

Laugh Out Loud

And happy burfday Euro! How old today?

EuroShagmore Thu 17-Jan-13 12:13:31

<whispers> 37, but don't tell anyone. I'm in denial and if others repeat it, it might make it seem real!

LPplusOne Thu 17-Jan-13 15:25:06

Happy birfday Euro! (I think I'm cancelling mine this year...)

<admires Rie's shiny SLH badge>

Fantastic news on Jefe's embie!

Still baffled by the FF references but slowly getting the gist. Do I have to eat the tongue?

EuroShagmore Thu 17-Jan-13 15:40:12

Yes, LP. It was a very popular foodstuff way back when before folk knew any better .

This thread is making me wonder if my parents binned all my old Enid Blyton books. I bet they did, the bstds.

JethroTull Thu 17-Jan-13 16:26:59

I'm back BESH!! Thanks for all the positive thoughts. Having the embryo put back was a bit more invasive than I imagined but who cares now. It's done!

JethroTull Thu 17-Jan-13 16:28:10

Happy Birthday Euro hope you get to eat cake.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 17-Jan-13 16:49:33

Hurrah for jeffembieonboard! Sorry it was unpleasant, but it is in and all that matters now. Sending sticky toffee vibes!

Happy burfday to you Anneuro! You can have a haysack (is that the concoction described above) and a cocoa.

Impressive badge ariel I reckon you can exchange if for something hearty.

PS With the current frost I am finding it cold - and I am hardylikegeorge!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 16:51:20

Well done Jeffers. Now go and lie on the sofa with a hunk of bread and cheese and take it easy.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Thu 17-Jan-13 16:52:20

Btw kidneyprod to frank. POAS again, and report the result immediately to the nurse faif of course and the rest of us please.

EuroShagmore Thu 17-Jan-13 16:53:54

Hurrah for the Jeffembie being on board!

There will be no cake. I have given up wheat again in case that was what made the difference back in November (it was the only thing I had done differently). I have however bought cake for everyone else in the office...

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 17-Jan-13 17:22:45

Hurrah for the jeffembie!

Happy birthday AnnEuro, why don't you have a wheat free cornflake cake instead? Cornflake cakes are awesomely good.

JethroTull Thu 17-Jan-13 17:38:01

Totally missed the bit about possible POAS action from Frankly <boxing gloves at the ready>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 18:18:42

<prepares boxing moves>

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 19:12:54

Yay for jeff and jeffembie! May the two of you stick together like the cobbler's wax and toffee-filled pockets of an adventurous boy. Or George.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Thu 17-Jan-13 19:17:03

I noticed Frank tried to sneak that in too, hoping no-one would notice.

Jeth my lovely. You have come a long way, tonight you should rest and eat whatever you like. I'm assuming you're having a blood test in 2 weeks?

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 19:21:48

<whistles innocently>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 19:50:50

Divulge IMMEDIATELY.

evilgiraffe Thu 17-Jan-13 20:00:00

C'mon, Frank, POAS already!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 17-Jan-13 20:05:34

I would highly recommend M&S gluten free chocolate cherry cake. I defy anyone to know its GF and its ruddy delicious!

Yes frankers I have nosed at your chart and see that even if you ov'd at the later spike that makes you 15dpo now with continuing high temps?! <pokes kidney very hard>

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 20:17:41

Sorry, the whistling was me not commenting on the trying to sneak that piece of info past you all blush

I will POAS in the morning!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 17-Jan-13 20:24:40

A while back, there was a luffly BESH called Ginhag and she announced her BFP by saying:

"Ahem gringringrin"

(Gin, if you are lurking, I promise I am not a mad stalker. I just have an extraordinary memory for stupid things smile )

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 17-Jan-13 20:38:29

Fairy snuff Frank. <sits patiently>

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 20:42:43

Finally left work. Ugh. I really hope it snow so much I Could realistically claim I can't go in tomorrow, I must say.

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 17-Jan-13 20:57:55

I hope it doesn't, as I have a day trip to Oxford planned tomorrow and fully intend to make an exception to my healthy living plan for Bens Cookies.

<dangles boxing gloves over alarm clock ready for frank in the morning>

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 17-Jan-13 21:06:34

I'm having a weekend in that there London so hope that the snow isn't so bad that my train gets delayed/cancelled. I've convinced HWHNN to come to the movie costume exhibition at the V&A and the Valentino exhibition at Somerset House grin

JethroTull Thu 17-Jan-13 21:44:41

Ooooh Frank my SiL went to that V&A exhibition last weekend & said it was brilliant. I'd love to go to both of them. Hope you get there.

evilgiraffe Thu 17-Jan-13 22:13:35

Is it morning yet? Is it, is it? <waits impatiently>

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 22:25:31

How are we meant to refer to weeing on this thread? Bearing in mind that it is something they never do in the Famous Five, despite spending hours walking over moors or hiding behind boxes in spy-ridden caves or camping out in ruined castles, swigging ginger beer all the while.

evilgiraffe Thu 17-Jan-13 22:27:22

They'd probably call it spending a penny, is my guess. That's what my gran says, anyway.

EuroShagmore Thu 17-Jan-13 23:12:38

<Impatient>

I have a veh full tummy full of steak and wine and other yumminess. I had a lovely evening and got some lovely presents, so turning 37 wasn't all bad really.

Northey Thu 17-Jan-13 23:14:13

Sounds like a good day, euro smile Many happy returns, old thing.

Is it morning yet? Can we punch a kidney?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 18-Jan-13 00:03:07

The Five NEVER wee. Or poo.

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 04:19:21

Ann will remain forever without droid.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 18-Jan-13 06:25:53

Morning all, sorry to report another negative. I'm not surprised to be honest. However, it does mean I haven't a clue what is going on! I shall phone the clinic on Monday and ask for advice. I'm CD 72 today and my chart does have a thermal shift (temp still up this morning) so feck knows where droid has got to.

JethroTull Fri 18-Jan-13 07:11:08

Sorry Frank old bean.

SinkyMalinks Fri 18-Jan-13 07:30:40

Sorry frank. I'm on cd 64. Does that make us cycle buddies?

<hollow laugh>

norf. You're up very early again <stern>

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 07:40:33

I just couldn't sleep, sinkers, old chap.

frank, I'm sorry to hear about the bfn. What on earth is your womble playing at? Have a smear from the inside of my fish paste sandwich for luck.

Had a letter from the clinic setting out drug schedule and so on. Makes it seem even more real. I MUST get the delivery sorted. Maybe for Monday, so I can work from home on a day where it will be all snowy and pretty. Fuck the deadlines and meetings already in the diary. Work has said this should be my priority so they can live with the result of that.

evilgiraffe Fri 18-Jan-13 07:41:14

Aww, sorry Frank sad

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 18-Jan-13 08:00:20

Thanks chaps <stiff upper lip>. I'm not disappointed because I didn't expect it to say otherwise. I'll see what the clinic say next week, they'll probably send me tablets to bring on the droid, then it's drucks round 2.

Anyone fancy a spot of tobogganing on cook's tin trays?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 18-Jan-13 08:16:53

Morning hags!

Bad luck, old chap frankelly. I would ask nurse at the clinic, rather than faif in this case what is going on, and trek into the snow now! I say AYE to toboganning (sp, that is a word I rarely use!) all the way to the bog smoke for a lovely weekend of camping out there and gazing at pretty clothes.

And norf do rearrange! I am working from home on Monday too, so we can even distract eachother (unless my secretary of all people convinces me I should be in, I think I shall not return her call wink ).

Hurrah for a lovely turning of birfdays Anneuro. Wine and steak sound fabulous.

We went to an info evening on ivf at our clinic. It was BORING and we ran off in the break rather than socialise with other barren couples, we did get stuck trying to get out with a bunch of other, normal looking, barren couples who wanted to escape as well. We just heard the benefits of a healthy life style (the only thing that makes a BIG difference is smoke and a lot of alcohol) so we went to the pub smile

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 18-Jan-13 08:17:24

bog smoke=big smoke
I cannot type today!

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 10:42:30

<makes mental note not to follow lemon into the loo>

EuroShagmore Fri 18-Jan-13 10:44:39

Hurrrah for tobogganing!

Sorry for the BFN frankel. From your chart, you really should be up the pole. Hmmm.

If I'm weedy Ann on the basis of my pathetic ability to withstand the cold, I have to tell you Norfy Droid is very much with Ann. Oh yes.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 18-Jan-13 10:54:33

Very miffed to hear that, Frank, old chap. Have this hard boiled egg sad

Are you in That Wales or That Lunnon? Snowy isn't it? Do you want to come out to play? I'm only a couple of hours from you but I'm not sure I'd get through the Beacons.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 18-Jan-13 12:36:38

SNOW UPDATE <yells> About 5cm here. Terrifically exciting Julian.

Five and the Adventure of the Snow Hysteria.

evilgiraffe Fri 18-Jan-13 12:44:07

Snow here too, but it's very very fine, so not at all deep yet. It is -1 degrees though so it is settling - at the minute it looks like everything is covered in icing sugar smile

TWinklyLittleStar Fri 18-Jan-13 12:46:26

Jolly bad news frank old chap. And terribly sorry about your, ahem, women's problems, AnnEuro

Snow here too - day trip to oxford cancelled, so I went panic shopping to tesco and bought Mario Kart.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Fri 18-Jan-13 13:23:23

The famous five go cross country skiing to Oxford to bring twinkly to her meeting. I LOVE snow, waves at ariel.

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 13:40:56

Me, ariel? I am in London, sadly, or I would have been right there for a jolly snowy frolic.

EuroShagmore Fri 18-Jan-13 14:04:43

I want to take Timmy for a walk in the snow. And make him chase balls that disappear into the snow leaving him all confused. <cruel>

BESH snow watch report: I'm in Central London, it's been snowing moderately since about 9am. It's settling on the ungritted areas, but is not at all deep yet.

TWinklyLittleStar Fri 18-Jan-13 14:13:05

There is a fair amount of snow here. I think I might dig out my boots and go for a walk.

JethroTull Fri 18-Jan-13 14:13:35

Snow watch update from Derby: LOADS!! It's been snowing all day.

Euro were you watching when I took JethroDog out this morning?

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 18-Jan-13 14:18:16

East Angular snow update - a mere sprinkling for us so far today (looks like cook spilt the icing sugar!). I'm about to head off to catch my train that that there London so probably won't check in again till Sunday. Don't go having loads of adventures without me!

TWinklyLittleStar Fri 18-Jan-13 14:32:21

Jeff am properly envy that you have a dog to throw amazing white vanishing balls for. When it snows I miss my lovely old girl, we had such fun. The expression on her lovely doggy face when she caught one and it exploded into a shower of powder in her mouth...

EuroShagmore Fri 18-Jan-13 14:34:27

<Peeks at Jeff from behind The Faraway Tree> We used to have a dopey retriever. The disappearing balls were always a mystery to her. Another good one was throwing snowballs for her to catch. She always looked so confuzzled when there was nothing left.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 18-Jan-13 14:47:10

I love retrievers. They're such good natured dullards.

JethroTull Fri 18-Jan-13 15:04:43

JethroDog is a boxer puppy. It took us a while but now we have bonded and I love him. He's snoring with his head on my knee right now.

EuroShagmore Fri 18-Jan-13 16:01:34

Aren't they Rie? Despite having a garden full of squirrels, ours never figured out that they disappeared up trees when she chased them.

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 17:00:11

Calm me down, BESH, pleeeeease. Drug company are delivering drugs next Thursday. I have to start injecting on CD2. I am currently on CD20. Last cycle was 36 days. This should all work out ok. BUT, I feel absurdly pre-menstrual - crampy/bloated and a vaguely full and wet, you know, there. Oh please don't let me have a freakish 21 day cycle or something. Not now I have go this far. Could this be ovulation? I've never had these as symptoms of egg-laying before, but do they seem recognisable as that to you?

JethroTull Fri 18-Jan-13 18:23:42

It will be ok North. You are probably much more aware of everything that is going on with your body at the moment. What's your shortest cycle been?

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 19:25:34

In my life? Probably 21 days. But I don't think I've been that short for some years. This is the problem with unpredictable cycles. What if this month the unpredictable thing is that it's going to be super short? Argh!

Ooh, it's you, jeffers! How are you feeling today?

captainmoll Fri 18-Jan-13 21:50:05

Hullo BESH's! Sorry to barge in uninvited, but I simply couldn't resist. This an absolutely wizard thread and I've been carrying lashings of ginger beer around all day, so I thought maybe you'd like to help me swig some of it. It's simply super if you add a great big dollop of this scrummy vodka!

Anyway, hello. I'm 32, TTC number 1 for about 17 cycles. Been through a bunch of blood tests, had several things shoved up my foof in the last few weeks and discovered a "mysterious lump" that may be a cyst or a fibroid, and may need surgery or not. The Uterine Mass of Adventure, anyone?

DH is edging perilously close to 40, and has so far been too fecking busy with work to go for any tests at all.

So that's me.

*pats Timmy, devours all the chocolate, discovers hidden entrance to goldmine

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 18-Jan-13 22:04:55

Oooh a newbie! Spiffing! To prove your mystery investigating skills, you will be required to search dark passages depths of MN and complete the BESHtionnaire.

What ho chaps. We have been experiencing a fair bit of white stuff falling from the sky in the 'shire. Not exactly jolly leaving work at 8. Took me ten minutes to remove it from the car. Joyfully tucked up at home now dreading going back in tomorrow lunch time

norfus you may well be hard boiled egg laying. Timing wise it would fit. Could you have a rummage and see what it looks like?! hmm

Sorry for the negativo stick Frank sad

Evening jeffers, sending sticky vibes! smile

EuroShagmore Fri 18-Jan-13 22:06:40

Norfy surely the timing would be about right for egg laying on a 36 day cycle? I reckon that's what's going on. It'll all be fine.

<sniffs the air> Do I smell... fresh blood?

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 22:20:31

Oh well maybe, euroann and faif. But obviously I am focussing on the negative version.

Hullo, captainmoll. Come in, kick off your rubber-soled shoes and tell us about yourself. Extra points if you can shoehorn in some potted meat.

captainmoll Fri 18-Jan-13 22:31:10

But if I kick off my rubber-soled shoes, how will I sneak out of the dorm for the midnight feast of luncheon meat and Alicia's heavenly fruitcake?

(potted meat: check)

Can I be a big old nosey nose face and ask what drugs you're waiting to start on Northey?
If it helps allay your fears at all, I've been getting pmt (moody, bloaty etc) around OV these days, and the soggy crotch n'all. Never used to get any sign of OV at all, but now it's basically PMT twice a month. What larks!

And what's this about a BESHtionnaire? I simply adore quizzes and tests - Now, where did Anne hide my pencils?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 18-Jan-13 22:32:45

If you search for it in the MN archive, you will find it capn <taps nose> try to find one from the last 6 months.

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 22:52:37

Gonal F for ivf, capn. But we can do all the introductions after the BESHtionnaire <pushes hair back impatiently in the manner of a gender-confused girl born before her time>

captainmoll Fri 18-Jan-13 22:58:03

Right. Timmy sniffed this one out. I'm going to answer it regardless and if it's the wrong one I shall put itching powder down all your knickers and join your group anyway.

1) Do you like gin?
I will be calling my first child Ginny Gin Gin*

*Lie

2) Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
I am more gold-digging than one of those craggy old hairy men in tham thar hills. And even worse at finding the gold.

3) Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

I will not be putting a baybee in my tumtum. I will be developing a foetus in my uterus. No one grows babies in their stomachs. Idiots.
Obvs, I will be doing this through my bellybutton by having a special hug and spwinkling myself with magic baby dust.

4) Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

a) And if they disobey I will hunt them down and squeeze the wees out of them in the early hours of the morning, like a sinister pregnancy swat team.

5) Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.

Since the robot is an annoying dick, I'm going to go with b. Someone may have to explain this to me later.

6) Number of pets?
None because I live with Allergy Man, whose superhero power is to destroy tall buildings with a single sneeze. In my head, I own several cats and a dog. And a puffin. And a pony.

7) Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
There have been so many. Mostly pretty gay actors. Colin Morgan most recently. *shame face

8) Lesbian crush?
Again, there have been so many..

9) What are your views on camping?
In the UK - no. In a warm country - still no.

10) How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

ii) These days, I just wee directly onto £20 notes. Saves the shopping trip and gets the same result.

evilgiraffe Fri 18-Jan-13 23:07:55

That looks quite in order, cap. I say you're in. This is largely to do with your pleasingly cynical TTC attitude, rather than your non-shameful crush of choice. As yet, I don't think anyone has beaten my actually shameful choice blush <secretly proud>

captainmoll Fri 18-Jan-13 23:18:31

Tell tell, evil. Who was it?

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 23:19:16

Good answers, cap. I vote we let you join. Properly I mean, not like a grubby farm child who can be patronised and allowed to follow at a safe distance once she's had a bath and promised to try harder about speaking properly.

R2D2 is another name for your period. Also droid and occasionally druid. The reason is lost in the mists of time, but I think it might have developed from Red Tide of Doom, via RTD. Well, that's my theory anyway.

I like puffins. I have been to see them. On an island where I naturally also discovered a spy ring and some gold ingots.

captainmoll Fri 18-Jan-13 23:22:14

*tugs forelock in humble urchin fashion

Thankee, miss.

Northey Fri 18-Jan-13 23:27:15

Now look here, moll, you can speak quite nicely if you try, so just you make sure you do. And here, have my cast off sandshoes.

evilgiraffe Fri 18-Jan-13 23:41:09

<whispers> Jeremy Clarkson

But my list of not-quite-so-shamefuls is rather long too, mind. I am an incurable perv <shrug>

evilgiraffe Fri 18-Jan-13 23:42:49

Not that I actually perv over Clarkson, you understand. I just... wouldn't say no.

SinkyMalinks Fri 18-Jan-13 23:58:48

Don't try and make it better draf, you dirty, high waisted jeans, denim shirt Clarkson lover you.

Say, chaps, we have another spiffing type for super adventures. Bagsy the first down the mine shaft! Excellent BESHtionnaire responses. Really, top notch. Uncle Quentin will be proud.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 00:22:39

Jeremy Clarkson? Shame on you. Shame.

Am liking the cut of the new urchin's jib <shakes hand vigorously>
<wipes it surreptitiously>
I say old thing, how about Aunt Fanny gives you a bath? Take this carbolic into Kirrin Cottage and scrub up, there's a good chap.

Well BESH, I have had the most monumental shitter of a day. But the last couple of pages have raised a chuckle, so thanks.

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 05:54:24

Tell us all about it, old thing. Is it your father?

JethroTull Sat 19-Jan-13 08:13:40

Oooh a new girl how simply splendid! Hello Moll.

captainmoll Sat 19-Jan-13 09:02:53

Jeremy bleedin' Clarkson?! Lawd, but you're a rum bunch and no mistake!

Is it his luxuriant 80s bouff?

*waves enthusiastically at everyone else
Thanks for the welcome, chums!

Ariel - have a scrummy scone and some of this delicious raspberry jam and tell us all about it.

evilgiraffe Sat 19-Jan-13 09:25:14

I think Clarkson gave me a lot of minus points. BUT my beautiful formatting and extensive list of gins rescued me <relieved>

<hands Rie a cream puff> I hope today is better sad

EuroShagmore Sat 19-Jan-13 09:29:15

I see the new gal passes muster. What-ho.

<Strokes Rie's hair>

Tell us what's up, lovely.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 10:04:51

<hair strokes for rie> sad

If she is an officially sworn in BESH, are we doing introductions?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 10:35:12

Very kind HEDGes. I won't talk about it now, if you don't mind.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 10:45:27

Hedges? Wtf?

EuroShagmore Sat 19-Jan-13 10:51:11

Of course Rie.

Faif I don't see why not. I lose track and I'm not new!

I'm usually some variation of Euro (this one is left over from an Austin Powers thing we did), 37 as of two days ago <Sobs>. OH is KFZK (kung fu zombie killer, after past and present hobbies), also 37 (but not for long). TTC#1 for 28 cycles. Unexplained. Have tried 3xLetrozole, 2x natural IUI, and half a disastrous IVF cycle (me and drugs do not get on). Trying natural IVF this cycle.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sat 19-Jan-13 11:12:59

Hurrah, I brought some cocoa and stole a fruitloaf to celebrate the arrival of New Girl! I hope you brought the puffins with you. Good Beshtionaire, but still need more details on the lesbo-crush of shame. Go on, yours can't be worse than draf I so forgot about Clarkson, am well distressed now! So welcome here moll.

Sorry about the shit day ariel, there there chap, have a drink (of run in your cocoa).

Intro for the newbie, lemon and SB for skinny bint as he is 8 inches taller than me and weighs the same, both bordering on 34 now, TTC #1 since summer 2010, unexplained, had a BFP with SO and IUI last August but mc, have done two more SO IUI cycles since and awaiting droid from the last IUI next week and evaluation appointment in Feb.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sat 19-Jan-13 11:13:33

run=rum of course...

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 11:53:54

I am norfy, 34, lack of ovulation except when made to with ops or drucks. Two bfps, two ectopics. Waiting for droid to start so I can crack on with first round of ivf (in order to bypass clearly disastrous tubes). A Man Named Horse is my partner, named in an old cowboy fred. He actually looks more like a chimp. TTC for too many years to think about.

evilgiraffe Sat 19-Jan-13 11:55:00

My lesbo crush is not at all shameful, Scarlett Johansson is gorgeous <swoon>

My intro: I'm always evilgiraffe because I can't cope with change, but the BESHes call me draf. DH is HOTB (him on the bike). Both of us are thirty, and we are three years into TTC #1. We got a diagnosis of unexplained infertility last year and now at three years qualify for IVF on the NHS. However, I have a Mysterious Cyst and possibly an enlarged fallopian tube which I've been referred to the gynae for. That got discovered after going to GP because I've been having lengthy droids - it's now been seven months since I had a droid that lasted less than about twelve days. So all in all, a bit shit, but no actual attempt at drugs/AC to win a baybee as yet.

SinkyMalinks Sat 19-Jan-13 12:34:12

Morning. I'm sinky or some variation of. Currently I'm sat on my sofa after an epic fail at running (it's very cold you know), or, in fact, dressing today.

I'm 31. I have iron clad ovaries with many, many cysts. I'm one of those PCOSer. Which apparently is great because its the easiest infertility cause to treat... I'm on TTC 3 and a bit years. I've had ovarian drilling and clomid. I'm meant to be starting ov induction this month with injections, but have bottled it. I've just got a new great job and am a bit meh about TTC bollocks atm.

GHJ (ginger hairy jock) is the boy. He's fine. But a bit shell shocked to be told in dec that rather that his most recent SA shows 1% normal morphology. Apparently 4% would be totally normal, so not horrendous, but does mean I'll be getting icsi rather than plain ivf. I've been doing a lot of hair stroking, poor love. <disclaimer- hair stroking has not been happenening. Ghj needs to man up. Or the next Fanjocam is going in his direction>

captainmoll Sat 19-Jan-13 12:41:14

*Bows respectfully to the BESHmasters

Lovely to meet you all, my sympathies for your uphill struggles and I hope you all get well and truly updiffed this instant.

Lemon i have brought the puffins. There they are on the picnic rug, scoffing all the fish paste, and pecking Timmy on the snout. Most recent lesbo crush was probably Emilia Fox. I feel no shame in that - she is hot even when cutting up dead people, which is most impressive.

Now i must concentrate on thinking up a good name for DH..
*munches on fruitcake, ponders, falls down secret smugglers tunnel

SinkyMalinks Sat 19-Jan-13 12:49:52

secret smugglers tunnel

fnarrr

JethroTull Sat 19-Jan-13 13:29:11

I'm Jethro. 36. 3.2 years TTC. Just had first cycle of IVF. SSG ((spreadsheet geek) has a genetic chromosome issue & I have low AMH so unlikely to conceive naturally. Am currently 2WOOFling (2 weeks of obsessive fucking lunacy). Feel sick even thinking about a result so am distracting myself with Internet shopping & cake.

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 13:35:16

I'd forgotten about 2WOOFLing! What other BESHisms have we let slide? I feel we owe it to our ESHly sisters gone before us to keep these flames alive.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 13:58:19

I'm Ariel, formerly Aries and the BESH call me Rie. 37, 38 in April <hangs self>. TTC for 3 years with not even the sniff of a diff. Have been on the List for a year now, after a diagnosis of Unexplained. MrA's swimmers are legion but a lot of them are swimming in circles. However even with the large proportion of them swimming in circles, that's sill far more than average swimming properly. I was dying to blame him, but clearly I am the Issue. Sigh. Was due to have started IUI in December, but it was cancelled on the day because of an ill consultant. Wanker. Then I was supposed to start again in the next few days, but they have again pulled the plug, saying they won't be offering any more treatment until I get allergy tested, as I had an allergic reaction to an Unknown Thing this week, and one last October. I am currently extremely mad about this, as they knew about this in the autumn and didn't say anything then. Currently going through parental hell with a dad who is slipping very quickly down some kind of dementia slippery slope, a needy (not blaming her for that) mother with no money, a pregannt sister and a pregnant SIL. My life is shit. Waaaaaaaah.

Sorry. I am usually more fun than this. I like to think so anyway <weak smile>

The BESH are lush. I have met some of my current best buds here over the last three years.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 14:00:20

Oh yes, currently awaiting droid, to add insult to injury. I'd hoped for an ironidiffage this month. Have got to day 30 without even the hint of a tint, however have a grumbling womble and hurty boobs.

JethroTull Sat 19-Jan-13 14:16:11

Day 30 Rie?

TWinklyLittleStar Sat 19-Jan-13 14:19:37

'lo. MIL is back in hospital with what looks like either a heart attack or blood clot on the lungs. HWCA is naturally distraught. I feel quite sick.

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 14:23:43

Day 30 out of how many normally? <suddenly terribly interested>

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 14:24:31

And aries, even going through a very miserable and testing time, you are still one of the funniest posters I know!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sat 19-Jan-13 14:28:55

WOOFling is brilliant, that had fallen out of use before i got here (about a million years ago).

And I vouch for all the other BESH being funny, luffly and bitter in roughly equal measures (although I'd suggest faif might get away with a bit more of the luffly than average).

And I'd like to remind the UNIVERSE that 2013 was supposed to be GOOD. Yea better send us some sticky wins soon, as the parental issues are all over the place. Meh. So sorry arie and twinkly about father and MIl respectively.

I am ready with some fish (dabs this time, also in RL smile ) to throw at menkulling types. But day 30 calls for peeing on a fiver. Clearly moll you've been using too expensive fake tests!

Don't eat the puffins timmy they're your new friends! Someone's got to eat the fishpaste

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sat 19-Jan-13 14:32:12

I second that norf (*arie*'s remarkable funniness). And don't worry moll you seem more than funny enough (and they haven't thrown me out despite developing from a stiff upper lipped gentleman to a touchy-feely-in-touch with feelings half hippy as a direct result of my mc --and some counselling). Btw did I tell you lot I've been released into the community by the counsellor. She only suggested I come back for a bit of a top up if and when we go for IVF smile I am coping, apparently.

Oh and on ILs, apparently my BIL is going through a form of male PND, so we're a) actually seeing them and b) worried about the nephew sad

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sat 19-Jan-13 14:32:42

Complete failure on the old -- and ** there...

JethroTull Sat 19-Jan-13 14:35:49

Twinks that's not good. It's happened before then?

TWinklyLittleStar Sat 19-Jan-13 14:39:57

She was in hospital last Friday with a DVT, and again on Sunday, but she seemed to be getting better. We're at home waiting to hear from HWCA's brother, no point in us dashing to hospital as we'll need to look after FIL tonight (the stress of MIL being ill has made his Alzheimers much more apparent, he'd wake up in the morning having no clue where she is.)

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sat 19-Jan-13 14:46:05

Rubbish twinkly and vv sad about FIL as well. Come on UNIVERSE give the BESH a break!

EuroShagmore Sat 19-Jan-13 16:48:37

Yes, the universe is quite clearly Not Listening. We clearly need to swear more loudly at it.

JethroTull Sat 19-Jan-13 17:46:07

Can't we do that Cosmic ordering stuff that Noel Edmonds does?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 18:55:20

Sorry for ILs, Winks. Aren't they a worry? Keeping everything crossed for her xxxx

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 19:07:40

And I forbid anyone to look interested in my day 30. I have been here too many times before. And my womble is very acheysad

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 19:11:55

And your boobs, missy? Get your hand inside your liberty vest and give a squeeze report?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 19:36:22

Sore. But normal sore.

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 19:46:01

Hmm. <casts secret sideways glance at kidney region>

I have eaten so much today that I am putting off having a shower now, as i can't face seeing my naked, massive stomach.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 19:59:48

Hold it in smile It'll be gone once you've had a good poo.

Northey Sat 19-Jan-13 20:06:59

Well, I've eaten so much that that might actually be on my evening schedule too.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 20:39:03

Crikey! I go off to do exciting adventurous things erm going to work and nearly crashing the car for a few hours, can't ruddy keep up!

wink that's awful. When did she go in? I presume they've done an ECG and bloods and plan to do CTPA (scan to look for blood clot on her lungs)? I hope they get to the bottom of it and get her sorted soon. Not having an easy time of it your inlaws sad

drizz you make me blush smile

I agree, I like your wit cappy, I'm not too witty. Totally get the Emilia Fox thing. So sweet in the proper BBC P&P!

Anyhoo, I'm Faith (or variants of). 31, TTC'd for two years 8 months before finally winning a baybee in August. We had reversible fertility problems of a male variety. DH is MSB - Mr Squidgy Baybee - because he is very, erm, cuddly and when I picked it he was singing the Haribo supermix advert all the time hmm Baybee is due 23rd April and probably legs crossed at scan a girl baybee smile

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 20:39:54

<gropes *rie's boobs for fun>
<offers own now immense buzzwams for emotional support>

TWinklyLittleStar Sat 19-Jan-13 21:58:19

<snuggles down on faify's buzzwams for comfort>

Fanks everyone. Faif that is exactly what's been done, but there's no ct scanner available til Monday hmm HWCA and I are staying with FIL tonight, cos he'd wake up in the night, not know where MIL is, and either phone the police or, much worse, go out looking sad

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 19-Jan-13 22:05:29

Bless his heart sad.

My Pa has been moved wards this evening. He is proper confused by it all.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 19-Jan-13 22:09:06

Seriously, they are now encased in a 38E bra, there's room for everyone!

Yes CTPA will generally be done on office hours (not sure why) but they'll know from bloods within 12 hours if it is a heart attack. I hope you have an ok night with your FIL.

How's your Dad doing generally rierie?

FriendofDorothy Sat 19-Jan-13 22:17:49

Hello chaps. I am struggling to keep up it would seem and I look away for one minute and a newbie arrives. Spiffing.

For the newbie... I am one of the BESH who made miracle after a HSG and a round of Clomid after TTC for 20 months. Said miracle is 5 weeks old and feeding like he is permanently starving.

I like to pop in every now and then because so many people supported me through the process - I missed the company!

captainmoll Sat 19-Jan-13 22:54:01

Hello all. *crawls out of secret cave carrying haul of fake shillings and several miracle babies

Super smashing congrats to you, Friendofdorothy! Well done!
And also to you, Faith. A1 prime. Top hole. I wish much health and happiness for the duration of your pregnancy and beyond. It's so good to know there's a light at the end of the (smugglers) tunnel.

Sorry about all the ills of the ILs. I've been there myself and its tough.

Faith - I challenge you to match my non-preggers 34FF's! There's something to work towards.. wink Everyone's welcome for a snuggle on my matronly bazoom anytime, esp once Faiths are otherwise occupied..

I should say that ttc news-wise I may be a tad dull for a bit - until the uterine mass of adventure has been properly explored, I'm not allowed to get pregs. Boring.

Does anyone here know much about make factor infertility? I sense it on the horizon, as I'm told my right ovary and uterus are tickety-boo and, as far as the consultant can tell, pose no obstacle to conceiving, so chances are dh has crap swimmers. (Fx testing next week).

After much consideration, I have chosen the code name Bald Eagle for him.

Now, what's happened to my puffins? And who's hogged all the delicious fresh cream from that little farm down the lane run by quaint, ruddy faced friendly rural types?

captainmoll Sat 19-Jan-13 22:57:57

Clarifying confusing medical info - mysterious lump is around left side of outside of uterus. They can't decide if its a fibroid on the uterus wall (harmless, no surgery) or a dermoid cyst on the left ovary (freaky, look em up, they gave hair and sometimes TEETH, needs a laparoscopy to remove).

Either way, inside of uterus is fine, as is r ovary, therefore should be good to conceive. However, I have a short LP (9 days). Consultant isn't going to look into that until lump is sorted and SA is in for BE.

captainmoll Sat 19-Jan-13 22:59:59

Damn. Make = male.
I'm done now.

* swigs gallon of ginger beer, throws up all over aunt fanny.

Northey Sun 20-Jan-13 06:07:44

twinkle, I hope your night went ok, and your FIL coped ok. What a stressful thing for you all to have to go through.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 20-Jan-13 09:47:33

I know abit about male factor cappy as that was our ishoo. MSB has a growth on his pituitary that screwed up his hormones leaving him low on testosterone - resulting in swimmers that went in circles (no rapids). Saw an endocrinologist, scanned his brain, found the problem. Now on meds - et voila, 8 months later, swimmers included rapids and I got diffed. Simples hmm ok quite complex but you get the idea Have they done blood tests on him?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 20-Jan-13 10:23:33

Moll, dermoid cysts, despite freakiness, are commoner than you might imagine. Sister had one, mother if a messy, snotty, violent adorable two year old with another on the way. Hers had hair! Maybe you can ask to keep it! Keep it as a little pet, perhaps?

captainmoll Sun 20-Jan-13 12:30:31

Rie - I quite enjoy the freakiness of it, TBH. I'd even named it Humperdinck, but then they said it might be a boring old fibroid, and I've gone off it now. I did quite a bit of googling and realised they are not uncommon. Thanks for the news re successful diffage though. It's v reassuring.
Faith That is v interesting, thanks. BE hasn't had any tests yet; his job is super stressful and he finds it incredibly hard to put his health first and take care of himself. He has promised me he's getting the SA and bloods done this week though, so really hoping he does it. I shall probably stamp on his toes if he cops out again. It's been over a month since he got the test referrals from the docs..

Twinkle hope things are getting better with the IL's.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 20-Jan-13 13:17:43

Hi hags/chaps!

Sorry about the possibly freaky mass moll. But a lap is okay. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Hope all the ILs had okay nights. I am sorry for the shit.

I am mightily pissed off as started spotting 10dpiui, which normally does not happen til 12dpiui and now I am thinking a) mc messed up my cycle in new mysterious ways and b) maybe squeeze in another cycle before the evaluation appointment and c) might this be the elusive implantation bleed (not that I had one when I did get diffed). GRRR. So I baked chocolate cake. And I ran in the snow and feel virtuous about that. Not feeling PMT-y and SB reported no snappy spells in the household either. So maybe I just get a few bonus days of spotting before failing this cycle...

Northey Sun 20-Jan-13 15:07:49

I randomly had a massively spotty cycle just before last droid, lemonista. And I think I ectopicised a month before you miscarried. So it wouldn't be unprecedented for a BESHly womble to misbehave 5-6 months after a pregnancy loss. Obviously my optimistic thought was of implantation spotting. And that is what I hope for for you now as well smile

I want chocolate cake. My bag of jelly babies suddenly seems a bit lacking.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Sun 20-Jan-13 17:44:32

I'm back from my big adventure in that there London grin

<sniffs air> New blood? Welcome Captain

So, we had a jolly good time - saw the Hollywood Costume exhibition, had dinner at Hawksmoor (tried to get into Rules but they didn't have any tables left), visited the Cabinet War Rooms and got last minute tickets to see Wicked grin I've been humming Defying Gravity ever since grin

Still no sign of droid so I'll be calling the clinic tomorrow.

I'm famished! Has cook left out any cold meats/cheese/bread/cake?

<goes off to catch up on everyone's news>

Northey Sun 20-Jan-13 17:57:20

Have a hunk of plum cake, old thing.

When did you last POAS, out of interest?

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Sun 20-Jan-13 18:07:11

Friday morning. Forgot to take my temp this morning and feeling a teeny bit crampy but whatever happens I'll be calling the clinic - CD blardy 74 angry

TWinklyLittleStar Sun 20-Jan-13 18:52:59

<prods frank in kidney region, on principle>

Forgot my manners and didn't say hullo to the New Girl - hullo MollyMalone - Aunt Fanny will be most disappointed in me.

MIL had a ct scan today - hmm again - she did indeed have a heart attack and has blood clots on both lungs. No sleep for any of us last night, though Spurs equalised at the last minute so FIL is fairly happy.

I am boiling, freezing, feel sick and in pain down the right side of my back. I think I have a UTI on top of everything else.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 20-Jan-13 20:48:46

You know I said I was day 30 friday? Not true. I miscounted. Only day 29 today sad Deffo not diffed.

Northey Sun 20-Jan-13 21:37:47

Unless you've bled, operation ironidiff is still a goer.

Northey Mon 21-Jan-13 07:05:49

Hullo BESH. Have you all pumped up your tires and checked your breaks are working for today's adventure?

I am crossly heading into work. If only I had picked up my train tickets on Friday, I could have stayed at home today. But I won't have time to get them tomorrow morning, so into work I go.

Northey Mon 21-Jan-13 07:06:25

Brakes! Brakes, damn it. Not breaks.

TWinklyLittleStar Mon 21-Jan-13 07:19:30

I couldn't open any of my car doors this morning. Eventually managed to crawl in through the boot. Fun.

Northey Mon 21-Jan-13 07:36:49

Lucky you are so resourceful and plucky, twink!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 21-Jan-13 08:05:17

I shovelled snow off my drive yesterday evening when I got back from the train station <planning ahead>

Droid has arrived. Beastly thing sad & angry. I shall call the clinic and see if they have room for me to start treatment round 2

<thinks about kicking Timmy, gently>
<decides not to>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 21-Jan-13 08:09:58

Happy work Norf.

I am back home now. I left the beautiful deep twinkly snow in Wales, stopped off in somerset, also beautiful and snowy, and back here it's rainy, grey and icy sad

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 21-Jan-13 08:33:57

GRRR droidal invasion at 3:30am in the lemon-household, so clearly playing up post-mc. Still. Emailed the clinic to beg for another sneaky IUI cycle as evaluation is in Feb only to inform them about my stupidly short cycle, coming in at 22 days. I forgot about your spotty, menkul cycle norf. We are tracking each other too closely aren't we, in coping, in weirdo cycles (and hopefully in diffage, you after your round of IVF, me closely following with whatever the clinic throws at me next).

Maybe frank we could do some kind of exchange, there must be a happy medium to be found between us! Sorry about having to go into work and rain and sleet and stuff. I have planned a study day which means I don't have to leave the house until 6pm.

So sorry about MiL twink! But well impressed with Famous Five like skills of getting into that there car!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 21-Jan-13 08:34:53

PS No bread in the house, clearly that calls for the left over crumble for brekkie, right?

SinkyMalinks Mon 21-Jan-13 09:49:54

Right driz, but I assume you've polished off the crumble already. With lashings of custard/coffee (well, it is only 9am)

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 21-Jan-13 09:54:40

Custard, no. But cups of tea and gingernuts. YES.
(I did got on a 45 minute jog in the snow yesterday, so I deserve treats, also I feel absolutely foul, cold, droid and no sleep).

TWinklyLittleStar Mon 21-Jan-13 10:46:39

<dashes evil droids against the treacherous rocks surrounding Kirrin Island>

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 21-Jan-13 11:11:21

Spoke to the clinic, I'm off for my base-line scan and blood test on Thursday morning. Round 2 is go!

EuroShagmore Mon 21-Jan-13 12:37:43

drizz how can you run in the snow??? I barely stay upright walking on the damn stuff.

Sorry for the droidal invasions. How dasterdly!

I have had a busy morning of acu and pre-IVF baseline scan. Everything looked good on the scan, so I have another one on Thursday and at tht they will probably tell me when to take my trigger shot. Crikey.

captainmoll Mon 21-Jan-13 12:45:07

Sorry about stupid droids. I have set Timmy on them. He's quite fierce when roused.

BE has actually booked his blood tests! For tomorrow! And will be doing SA too! I am literally fainting face-down in the tinned sardines. Never thought he'd ever get round to it.

Awkward conversation ensued as we haven't have sex for about 2.5 weeks. SA requires 4ish days since last ejaculation. I didn't want to ask outright if he'd been jacking off while I was at work. blush Having to assume he has.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 21-Jan-13 15:25:45

Running in the snow was an error - am ill now sad
And no IUI this month, which may be a blessing in disguise see my breakdown on the 10+ thread earlier today

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Mon 21-Jan-13 18:17:57

Late to the party as always.

Hello Captain I'm buggerlugs, I rarely post atm as I'm applying for jobs in my spare time after being unsucessfull in the application for the job i currently do. Confused? Yep me too.

I'm 30, so is GP. 2 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages and now on my 2nd cycle of clomid. Been TTC 2 years. <sigh>

I'm meeting Northy for the first time ever tomorrow. Its going to be spiffing.

Must dash, have shit loads to do, please forgive me i'll be back fully soon i promise!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 21-Jan-13 18:49:43

<packs Bugs off with some sandwiches wrapped in brown paper>

I forgot to do my intro: I seem to change names on a regular basis, but always have Frankel in there somewhere, for obvious reasons grin.
31 years old TTC since May 2010. Diagnosed with PCOS in April 2011. 6 failed cycles of Clomid. About to start Cycle 2 of ovulation induction (aka self-stabbing). Other half (37) known as HWHNN (He Who Has No Name).

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 21-Jan-13 19:36:14

Queenrollo has laid according to t'other place grin

captainmoll Mon 21-Jan-13 23:49:49

I realise, after following Franks most enlightening link, that I failed to explain my name.
Captain, because I live on a boat, (and even BE agrees I am the captain of that), and Moll because I am a roister-doistering sort of chap.

Nice to meet you properly, and also you, bugs.

Northey Tue 22-Jan-13 06:12:04

How utterly topping, cap'n! Perfect for adventures.

Oh shut up, Anne, of course we want another adventure this holiday, you mimsy little fool.

What river are you on, if you don't mind the question?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 22-Jan-13 08:36:44

Morning chaps!

Hurrah for the boat, captain. That is an excellent start for adventures.

My misery is merging into a full fledged cold, so I've called in sick and am wasting a day in front of dvds, on laptop, and under a home crocheted blankie maybe I am Anne today

But here is the tin of flapjack I stole from cook's pantry, if someone can get this camping stove to work, we can have some cocoa as well.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 08:45:47

What sort of boat? <nautical>

captainmoll Tue 22-Jan-13 09:43:40

Sorry about the miseries, Lemon, but huzzah for flapjacks and cocoa!

For those expressing interest, tis an old Dutch barge (+100 yrs) and she bobs about in the wilds of northern Kent, just off the Thames. It's been a building site for 3 years so we're enjoying our first proper cosy winter on board after a lot of stress and tribulations.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Tue 22-Jan-13 13:23:10

Ooooh we had another BESH that lived on a boat - Was it CakeandCava?

I'm meeting norf tonight for dinner and drinks straight from work. I've just splattered soup all down my front so appear to be incapable of feeding myself properly.

My left ovary area is very very achey. CD14.

Sorry you're not feeling so cracking Lemons - Keep wrapped up and keep warm. Lots of tea and buttered toast.

EuroShagmore Tue 22-Jan-13 13:28:02

How eggciting <conception pun> to live on a boat.

Happy laying Bugs.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Tue 22-Jan-13 13:32:58

Is it possible to ovulate on CD20 on my right, and an earlier CD on my left even when on Clomid? Does anyone know?

I very nearly bought some glitter to wrap up and present to Norf tonight and call it B**yd**t but I thought she'd probably de-friend me for life so thought better of it. smile

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 13:44:50

DO! IT! DO! IT! DO! IT!

I think Euro does asymmetrical laying from what I remember?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 22-Jan-13 15:00:00

Oh bugs PURRRLEAASE do it. Norf might defriend you for life but we'll love you forever! And yes, it is possible, I do alternating sides with about 3 days in between too. Left is quicker.

EuroShagmore Tue 22-Jan-13 15:36:42

DO IT! <always willing to jump on a bandwagon>

Rie's right (as usual). I usually lay on day 14 from my right side and day 16 from my left.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Tue 22-Jan-13 16:21:33

Interesting <strokes chin>. I'm in serious discomfort today, it even hurt doing the sechs last night!! I had to pretend it was totally fine as I didnt want to spoil the moment and lose the chance. Oh how romantic this whole thing makes us!!

Its probably too late to buy glitter now, my train is at 17.17 and i finish work at 5. I'll tell her about it instead and hope she sees the funny side.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 18:32:30

Norf will love it <firm>

Northey Tue 22-Jan-13 20:56:53

I am proud to announce that I have met bugsy, and can report that she is beautiful, kind, funny and scary. I'm not sure in what order.

And she kindly overlooked the fact that I had a hole in my trousers.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 20:59:32

And the babydust?

Northey Tue 22-Jan-13 21:01:34

Not so much as a sprinkle. Bitch.

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 22-Jan-13 21:31:10

Rie! Language!

<washes rie's mouth out with carbolic soap>

MIL got out of hospital this evening. HWCA and I are back at ours. Thank fuck! I just had a shower, it felt great. (the in-laws don't have a working shower shock ) I am very excited at the prospect of sleeping in my own bed.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 21:48:56

Glad to hear that Winkly.

My old man is still in, but they say he has made some improvements over the last couple of days. His low point was the first two days I saw him hmm

TWinklyLittleStar Tue 22-Jan-13 21:55:04

<sneaks a hug in>

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 22-Jan-13 21:57:08

Glad everyone's relatives are doing better.

Very jealous of the BESH mini-meet-up. We need to arrange a proper one at some point.

EuroShagmore Tue 22-Jan-13 21:59:45

<Sneaks a boob grope in> Well why not, eh?

I had a good gym workout this evening. The hardest part for me is always getting through the door. Once I'm there, I enjoy it.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 22:16:05

OMG! Would you look at the snow in Somerset!!!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 22-Jan-13 22:24:38

I hear it's pretty heavy in Gloucestershire too - Cheltenham are due to race on Saturday but it's looking unlikely now. Yes my life is generally summed up in terms of racing grin

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 22:41:23

I WANT SNOW IT'S SO UNFAIR angry

Yes I had snow earlier in the week. But I was visiting.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 22-Jan-13 22:52:43

We haff snow. Not currently chucking it down but probably about 5-6 inches in total since last week. Tis a PITA. No snow days when you look after sick people.

Glad the mini meet went well, a lickle bit envy

Delighted the sick rents/in laws are on the mend. Enjoy the shower winkers.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 22-Jan-13 22:56:29

Well I wouldn't say he was on the mend. He will still be in hospital having loads of tests and nursing for ages. But at least he isn't like a little old man in a care home for the moment. FFS, he's only 69.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 07:00:49

Despite my determination to take advantage of my hotel pool and sauna, I am in fact up and working in my room. This is not glamorous.

I would also quite like a proper meet, please. Or even some more mini ones. I am feeling unusually sociable at the moment. It won't last.

I'm so pleased the riefather and winks' MIL are improving. Fingers crossed for a nice smooth progress from now on. And parents are BANNED from ever looking like little old people in homes. It is too distressing and heart-wrenching. They are NOT ALLOWED.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 07:35:29

How the hell did I miss a hole in your trousers?!

Norf is very pretty and luffly and posh but she says cunt which is hilarious!

I had a luffly time, a few beers and was a little pished. All in all a superb evening.

The road i use to get to work is shut ffs. I have 3 hours to make up before Friday. I suspect it won't happen. Grrrrr.

SinkyMalinks Wed 23-Jan-13 08:21:45

A besh meet up would be nice, but I suspect I would be too chicken to go. <pathetic>

Glad to hear the extended besh family are a little better/not getting poorlier.

I'n v impressed with norfs dedication to work. I'm at work, but sulking because, again, I've hit a fecking piller in the car park. Why mark a space then stick a fecking lump of concrete in it? (this argument would be better if I hadn't done this several times).

I might need a coffee. (given am off the ttc bandwagon)

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 09:09:43

Well i tried to get to work, and couldn't even get off my street!! (The road I live on leads to a main road, which runs parallel to the M62 and links to the road that is closed. I'm working from home today instead.

The dogs will be happy at least.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 09:12:46

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 09:18:22

Some people should not procreate <right wing>

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 09:23:21

Agreed.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 09:34:21

Today I an filled with hatred for anyone who can conceive naturally. Sorry, but that's just the way it is. Any lurkers who are offended by that can fuck off.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 09:40:51

It's the "haha" that makes me want to find her and kill her.

Probably the SIL told her to stay in the water because she wa secretly planning to drown her.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 09:56:24

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 09:59:24

We can only hope, norf.

Just out of interest, reading all the intros has made me wonder. Are you all doing/have you all done IUI/IVF etc privately or on the NHS? I am curious as many BESH are several cycles in to various forms of AC, and we are yet to start anything despite TTC for roughly the same time. It may be a postcode lottery, of course, but my area does nothing at all until three years of TTC are up and then the NHS fund three cycles of IVF but nothing else. Do other regions step in earlier?

</nosy>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 10:05:23

I was referred "quickly" <bitter laugh> ten months ago after two years ttc. I could have gone earlier, being over 35. I get four rounds of IUI and one of IVF on the NHS. Couldn't do private. And now having got to the stage of actually starting, they say no, you have to be allergy tested first. Oh the waiting time for that referral? Another few months. I am 38 in April FFS.

I am so fucking fucked off with it all. Droid arrived just now when I was just starting to think of POAS after making it to day 32 without even the hint of a tint.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 10:09:53

Ye gods, some people are shockingly thick!

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 10:11:15

Ah, I'd not thought of age coming into it. It is mad that the NHS funds different treatment depending on where you live - that makes no sense.

Droids are just shit. I'm currently day twelve and (fingers crossed) it might actually be on the way out now. FFS I am sick and tired of fortnight-long droids. And I've not had a letter from the gynae yet either, so will have to pester the GP to check they actually sent the referral if I don't get a letter by the end of the week.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 10:19:21

Oh dearie me. I saw a Fred on Pregnancy he other day where the girl thought she'd broken her baybee because she woke up on her front hmm

Re AC - obviously a tad different for us but they agreed to refer us for IVF when we'd been TTC for 2 years 6 months and once I'd shed the lbs! Never got that far so I dunno about criteria/waiting times but I know someone who won her (twin!) baybees through IVF locally and she waited nearly 4 years in total.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 10:22:11

X-posted with a few there.

I accept that I've been lucky in my NHS dealings so far. I was referred for tests after I had a cycle that lasted over 6 months. Those tests showed PCOS and I've gone on from there.

I get 3 cycles of OI (just starting number 2) and then on to IVF. My NHS don't do IUI and I'm not sure how many cycles of IVF we get. HWHNN says if need be we'll find a way to pay and go private.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 10:26:30

I even hate my sister today. Because she plans babies and then goes ahead and gets them, when I can't even have one.

I realise how thoroughly unattractive I sound by the way. Where else could I say that?

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 10:29:13

I wondered if a concrete diagnosis of something would help, Frank - as we're unexplained we basically get left to see what happens on our own, which is massively frustrating.

HOTB and I have a post-NHS-funding IVF savings too. If need be we'll beg from our parents; ILs in particular I'm sure would help as they had trouble TTC too (three years to win HOTB followed by an ectopic and two failed IVFs which must have cost a fortune in the eighties).

What's OI?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 10:32:41

My PCT don't offer IUI either.

rie I hadn't realised how bitter I was til I finally got diffed and my perspective changed. It was a cloud that left a shadow over everything sad

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 10:34:20

Aww, rie, the whole thing is just shit. I am so bitter and so desperately jealous, and then I'm angry and guilty for feeling like that. I'm lucky that neither HOTB nor I have siblings, so at least it's only cousins and friends to rage about, which is a little less close to home. At least I'm a bit more even-tempered when droid is gone.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 10:51:39

We were lucky in that we paid to see the consultant privately, and he referred us to the NHS for treatment due to my history. In terms of IVF we get 1 x round free, and up to 4x attempts to put frosties back if there are any. After that we have to pay.

captainmoll Wed 23-Jan-13 10:56:59

Morning, bitter and twisted companions. I too am an acid ball of jealous bile when I see all the people I love dropping sprogs like there's no tomorrow.

I haven't yet got the the IUI/ IVF investigations so I've no idea what my area offers. I should probably start looking into that as I sense it is not too far away. We're broke, so private will never be an option for us, unless we win the lottery, which we don't play sooo.. hmm

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 11:04:56

OI is Ovulation Induction, at least that's what they call it here. It seems to go by several different names.

Basically I inject small doses of FSH (much less than for IVF) and get scanned to monitor follicle growth. Once I get some nice sized follicles I have to inject the trigger and go away and have lots of sex. My main issue with my "skinny PCOS" is that I am inclined to over stimulate and if you put up more than 3 follicles over 14mm they will cancel the cycle. First time round I had one 16mm, one 14mm and one 12mm, so it was a close run thing!

EuroShagmore Wed 23-Jan-13 11:05:41

I would be happy to meet some of the luffly BESH. I am in that there fancy london.

Draf we're now private, but could have started NHS IVF last March - 15 months into proper ttc (but they counted it from earlier because we weren't using contraception for a couple of years before that, so we got referred quickly). I first saw a GP after 6 cycles of "proper trying", so 9 months after that I could have been starting IVF but I bottled it. My IUIs last year were private. I wasn't offered that on the NHS. But in my area, we only get one cycle of IVF, not three. So you wait longer but get more funding.

Rie I too feel the bitterness and jealousy. My instadiffer friend mentioned she is getting her coil removed this month. She is thinking of trying for #3 in a few months. I bet she's pregnant by March. <sigh>

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 12:47:03

Thankfully not too many of my close friends are TTC. One has started and finished her family since I got married. She's only young though and doesn't really have a good quality of life so I don't envy her. Also, I luff her kids to bits.

I am slightly bored.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 13:09:01

Any sign of Jeffers out there? I'm still sending sticky vibes to Jeffembie!

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 23-Jan-13 13:33:58

Hi everyone,

We've just deleted a few posts, as we don't think it's in the spirit of Mumsnet to mock a poster from another fred, when they're not here to defend themselves.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 13:37:32

Ooooooh that was me. I seem to be a bit naughty. Sorry MNHQ.

you've gotta admit though its a bonkers thing to say

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 13:39:45

Fortunately for them, though, no differ is ever going to read the BESH threads, because they're just too fucking lucky.

Bitter, me?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 13:40:33

Always gives me a shock if anyone else turns up in here, even MNHQ. Do you think someone complained?

One of the things I hate most about long term TTC is how horrible it makes me.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 13:41:14

Oo, were we reported? Is there a spy in our midst? <gets out slingshot>

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 13:42:21

No Rie I think MNHQ would probably make very good BESH. I'm sure i've seen some highly witty posts by some of them before. They might not be barren but i bet they can be bitter as chuff.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 13:43:23

Sorry, what I meant is that MNHQ obviously stalk the BESH.

I'm waffling.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 13:43:37

grin

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 13:44:57

How do we know none of them are barren though? They might be. Rowan for one, might be a MAN!!!!!!!!

EuroShagmore Wed 23-Jan-13 13:50:31

<Feels violated at having fred interfered with. Poor Fred.>

We are being spied on, spied on, I tells you. "To the Faraway Tree, quicksharp".

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 13:51:23

Easy way to flush out MNHQ (OliviaMumsnet at least):

TSSDNCOP

If that fails:

"Sam Seaborn is the worst character in West Wing!

^ only joking, obv!

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 14:19:25

Explain TSSDNCOP pliz...

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 14:33:11

It's a West Wing thing - OliviaMumsnet is a WingNut. It stands for:

The Secret Service Do Not Comment On Procedure.

It comes from an episode after someone shoots at the President and the Secret Service agent in charge says the above when asked how it happened.

Olivia often uses it when refusing to comment on why HQ have done something we all want to know about grin

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 23-Jan-13 14:41:06

<stamps feet, to get snow off and cos I am jealous>

I missed all the fun! Who did you mock, you evil bugsie? And don't we quite often do that? Because we're bitter and jealous?

I went to work and came home just after lunch, finishing off some bits and pieces, than a sneaky nap, I think.

Right what did I miss, except norf's performance as posh-in-holy-trousers-whilst-swearing. But that is cos I was nowhere near...

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 14:51:54

I took the piss out of a poster on another fred who asked a very stupid question about something. I daren't repeat it as i may get deleted again.

It was something along the lines of "if i have a hot bath / go swimming / have fun will i kill my baybee"!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 23-Jan-13 15:27:33

The answer to that is YES. Clearly. But then it will only take about five minutes to put a new one in her tummy

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 15:31:41

Fuck 'em all anyway. Bastards.

PMT

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 15:34:48

My God, what did bugs say that was worse than me saying her family member wanted to murder her?

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 15:46:06

Just my usual insulting comments, thats all.

I am eating a garlic bread. Yep, still bored.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 15:50:49

I am on the train home again, eating a cinnamon pretzel and drinking a chilli hot chocolate.

MNHQ is a veritable dildocam to the fred.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 23-Jan-13 15:52:50

grin spitting out my herbal tea at you norf. Jealous of chilly chocolate. Done with feeling rough now. Meh.

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 15:53:34

Where did you get the chilli hot chocolate?

I ate a packet of crisps. First one all year. Losing motivation to stick to a fertility diet when I've had more packets of crisps than shags this year.

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 15:59:16

I've not had many shags this year either, winks <glum> Poor HOTB is suffering a Dread Lurgy, and is constantly either slathered in creams or can't stand to be touched (by anything, including clothes). Still, his drugs appear to be working at last, so suspect he may be back with a vengeance within the week grin

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 23-Jan-13 16:08:29

I've been bloody bleeding half this year... (shockingly short cycle to blame+ IUI spotting). But I have not had any crips. I have remembered there are some in the cupboard. Be right back...

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 23-Jan-13 16:10:00

We're off for the weekend and sans IUI this month. So it will be alcohol and shagging smile wish my clearly not hormonal headache would bugger off though!

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 16:14:30

AMT, winkle. You know, the shiny little huts in train stations.

I've had two shags this year. And considerably more packets of crisps.

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 16:20:40

I love AMT. I am sure they are responsible for at least half the weight I gained in my first term at uni.

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 17:10:22

Bloody hell I don't post for a couple of days & MNHQ turn up. The BESH aren't nasty intentionally. It's a result of our struggle.

I don't think the IVF has worked. I feel nothing different. So today I had a Burger King whopper. Mmmmmmmm. In my defence I have been awake since 5am & driven like a million miles for a meeting I contributed 3 sentences to. Meh.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 17:46:58

Maybe it's a craving, jeff wink

And doesn't it like bounce about for days anyway before implanting and setting off speshul symptom-producing hormones anyway. So lack of symptoms = bollock all, if you ask me.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 17:59:22

Remember Lyra? No symptoms whatsoever. And look at her one year old bundle of fun. It's too early yet Jeffers

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 18:03:48

You never know, Jeff. Everything crossed!

Also, I am giggling at our struggle grin That is so accurate, yet makes me feel like a cross between a teenage girl and Hitler... shock grin

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 18:04:50

Fanks for reassurance hags. I just Want To Know. I am terribly impatient.

Right, so what's everyone up to this evening? I have my joggers on already (which translates to Doing Fuck All).

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 18:09:40

Mein Kampf mit dem Bebe.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 18:10:10

I am still on the bastard train. I have eaten all my sweets and just want the bloody signals to stop being broken.

Would it be a bit much to do a Hitler fred?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 18:10:21

Singing. I have never felt less like it.

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 18:10:49

jeffers I am at work til 10 but am utterly demotivated. And I am ravenous. PMT again.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 18:11:14

Arf at Hitler thread. I think possibly yes - too far.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 18:11:20

How do you say "our" in German, frauleinariel?

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 18:13:11

Probably not a good idea to do a Hitler thread. And I speak next to no German, although I did like watching Bernt das Brot on late-night KIKA while on honeymoon in Italy.

HOTB and I are going out for dinner, because having no kids means we can make snap decisions, huzzah!

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 18:13:46

I sang all the way home in the car. Loudly & out of tune. Made me feel a bit happier.

Until 10pm Norf? Evil.

Hitler thread? Help, the SS stole the BESH's fertility?!

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 18:15:44

Unfruchtbare, schlecte, egotische, Hexen.....

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 18:16:48

Urin auf einem Stock.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 18:18:01

Unsere = our. Though which gender Kampf is, I don't know. Neuter?

Unser Kampf.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 18:22:40

I don't speak any German <joins evil in the non-German corner>

Jeff, it's far too early to have symptoms <stern face>

Tonight I am eating the Hairy Bikers' healthy lasagne, followed by a very large piece of Cartmel Sticky Toffee Pudding <defeats the object>

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 18:24:40

<frantically copy and pastes into google translate>

Good work, Deutsch Frauen!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 18:25:07

jeff I had what I assumed was the usual PMS symptoms - tired, grouchy etc about a week after getting diffed. It was only when I vommed at work 14dpo that I actoolie thought I might be diffed.

Ich bin zwolf jahre alt hmm

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 18:31:52

I have had early tea. Thai chicken. Yum! MrA had Thai quorn. Not nearly as yum.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Wed 23-Jan-13 19:11:00

<joins Frank and Evil in non German speaking corner and looks confused>

Jeff Its faaaaar too early. Trust me. Step away from the sticks too.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 19:15:26

I can't speak it either <sad> But I do empathise with the struggle.

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 19:20:46

I don't speak much Deutsch although I did it for A level. Google translate is great....

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 19:21:24

Arrrgghhhh!!!

<warning, don't read if you are stroppy and full of PMT like me>

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 19:22:35

I read on some forums that some women got a positive 8 or 9 days after a 3 day transfer. That would be this weekend. Clinic have said to test next Friday. Luckily I have no First Response sticks in the house.

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 19:23:51

Ridiculous Frank. Stop reading right away.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 19:26:40

I'm trying not to Jeff.

Did you have a jab of any drucks after ET? Some IVF drucks can give you a false positive if you test too early.

JethroTull Wed 23-Jan-13 19:41:23

Just shoving progesterone up my fanjo twice a day. oh, you all didn't want to know that?! Sorry.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 19:50:28

Thanks for that mental image Jeff grin

My drucks arrived today. Scan and blood test tomorrow and then the stabbing commences.

BTW, that thread is full of the most self-satisfied instadiffers I've ever seen angry <defies MNHQ>

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 19:51:07

Is that a pessary jeff? <nosey>

I chipped in on that fred frank both from a non-instadiffer and an August birfday perspective.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 19:51:58

Ah as I expected - she was an instadiffer with DC1.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 19:53:07

Quelle surprise <throws a bit of French in>

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 20:18:15

Careful, faif and frank. We are probably under surveillance now for being mean about people on other threads. Maybe they have cottoned on to the E in BESH.

I fort pessaries went up the other way <ignorant>

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 20:18:53

Oh no, that's suppositories, isn't it? <superficially knowledgable>

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 21:11:27

I am so full. <too much dinner>

<wishes people weren't talking about suppositories>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 21:42:37

They're all a bunch of cunts <sour>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 21:44:18

God, I SO can't imagine planning a baby, making a baby and giving birth to a baby. It's impossible. It only happens to women on thread like those.

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 21:45:02

The 'hide thread' option is the only thing that has saved me from being banned by now. True fact.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 21:50:51

I even hate myself today. I am a barren old hag with a cat who's not even that fussed on me.

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 21:55:56

Cats aren't fussed on anyone. That is The Way Of The Cat.

I feel the same today. I want everybody to piss off and leave me alone.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 21:57:07

I'm going to have some rice pudding. So there.

<flicks rice pud at instadiffers>

&#969; <--- do you think that looks like a bum?
&#8857;&#8857; - do you think they lookl like eyes? Or boobs?
¤§¥ what funny symbols. Anyone know what they are?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 21:57:47

Ok ignore last crazy post.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 22:00:46

I just see a row of symbols Rie. That last one is the currency symbol for the Japanese Yen. The funny double-s thing is used in racing and is referred to as "the double squiggle". It usually appears next to a horse's name to denote that the horse is unreliable! i've no idea what it actually means in "real" life grin

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 22:11:43

One looked like a bum, I swear. I found them on my phone.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 22:13:59

Are you bored deary? I'm sure cook could find you some chores to do if you like....

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 22:15:57

No, just trying to post something non ranty and bitter. Couldn't think of anything else.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 22:17:58
ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 22:21:28

Will get off phone and onto proper computer. If only I could have an adorable kitten it might make up for the babyfail. A kitten which doesn't grow into a sneering, scornful, bitey, disapproving madam.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 22:24:42

How do I wake the kittens up?

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 22:25:49

I want a dog. I reckon dogs are better substitutes for baybees than cats. More loving. A cat is probably a good substitute for a teenage child though.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 22:27:13

Dogs aren't as cuddly though. And they smell. And eat faeces.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 22:28:51

Trust me, hamsters are rubbish baybee substitutes!

EuroShagmore Wed 23-Jan-13 22:30:10

It's the trigger shot that gives you a false positive, Frankel. It contains HCG and can stay in your system for up to 10 days, apparently. The fanny bullets contain progesterone. They won't give you a false positive on a test but might give you preggo types symptoms as prog levels go up in pregnancy.

I did GSCE German, but can't remember any of it. Wie komme ich zum bahnhof bitte? Or something.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 22:31:00

I need kittens. Dogs have scrabbly paws that make cuddling precarious and nerve-wracking.

captainmoll Wed 23-Jan-13 22:31:22

You are all naughty bad beshes and you will be spanked and sent to bed without any supper.
<wags finger>
<Timmy attacks finger and also jugular>
<bossy housekeeper is devoured>
<BESH midnight feast continues uninterrupted>

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 22:32:13

Dogs are cuddly if you get the right dog. My lovely lady was very cuddly. She loved to be loved. And she never ate poo. I miss her.

To be fair to cats, the ex's cat would lie on my belly and keep it warm when I had period pains. Like a purring hot water bottle. He pretends he doesn't know me now when I visit.

captainmoll Wed 23-Jan-13 22:32:56

Oh! Puppies and kittens!
<floats off into reverie>

I always thought if I could give birth to puppies or kittens, I would have had babies years ago.

EuroShagmore Wed 23-Jan-13 22:35:42

Ooops. I missed a page of posts and you had moved from Hitler to Kittens! Tis clearly the way of the BESH.

My puppy was luffly. But did this sheep poo was some kind of delicacy. Like cavier or something. As a townie dog, it was a similar rarity for her.

TWinklyLittleStar Wed 23-Jan-13 22:35:42

What about guinea pigs? Could I persuade HWCA to replace the dresser in the front room with a big guinea pig run?

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Jan-13 22:40:09

Stupidgingercat is on our bed right now, purring away and kneading HOTB through the duvet. She is ridiculously soppy and I love her more than I ever thought I would before we got our cats. smile

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 22:40:27

I don't like the way dogs' paws scrabble and rattle either. Mind you, a kitten's claws are like curved pins.

I have one dog who I love. He's a border collie/Springer cross and his name is Bruce. I heart him.

Northey Wed 23-Jan-13 22:54:44

But a kitten can put its claws away and pat your cheek with little velvety paddy paw feet.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 23:02:14

And stroke your face with its waving little velvety tail.

Squeeee!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 23-Jan-13 23:05:47

God, I'm even jealous of that mama cat and the love her kittens have for her.

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 06:42:29

Oh look at its little kitten trousers!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 24-Jan-13 08:43:06

I watched kittencam for 45 minutes last night blush

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 08:49:20

Easily done Rie, easily done grin

Currently sat in the clinic waiting room waiting to be called for dildo cam.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 24-Jan-13 08:59:51

Lucky lucky you! X

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 09:19:17

I am sitting in my pyjamas waiting for my drugs to be delivered. I really should log on and work from home, but instead I am drinking tea and listening to a programme about Nancy Mitford.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 24-Jan-13 09:22:08

What channel?

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 09:23:38

On iplayer - Radio 4 from yesterday. It's not brilliant, but it is about Nancy Mitford, so I'm letting it run.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 24-Jan-13 09:29:44

I'm reading Debo's autobiography atm. Nancy was very complex wasn't she? Debo never forgave her for denouncing Diana twice.

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 09:32:29

Is it good??

I read Decca's and thought she needed a good slap.

The PESH did a Mtford fred once. About being in pig.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 24-Jan-13 09:40:12

I didn't know what bring in pig was. Haven't actually read any mitford novels - have come to them late, only since I saw Andrew Matt talking about them on The Making of Modern Britain.

Debo is ok. I get cross about the privilege and her dyed in the wool Toryism. But then I guess she would be. Decca sounded ghastly.

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 09:43:35

Being in pig is from The Pursuit of Love, I think.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 24-Jan-13 09:44:26

I must read that.

TWinklyLittleStar Thu 24-Jan-13 10:24:39

I am not familiar with the Mitfords, particularly. I am in work, busy Waiting.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 10:51:52

Scan etc was fine. Got to wait for my blood results this afternoon to confirm dosage.

Nurse did make me cry (quelle surprise, again!) when she asked how I was feeling. Never a good question! She commented that my left ovary was looking very PCOS this time and it looked as if a cyst had recently popped as there was some blood lurking around.

Of course, typically, HWHNN is going away for a few days at the start of next month, which could clash with fertile time. The nurse said 2 days "should" be ok, but if we do start the treatment then it counts as one of our rounds. Apparently it only doesn't count if they cancel it hmm.

I think we can probably get round it, HWHNN goes away on the evening of the 4th and gets back evening of the 6th. If I can convince him to go into work late on the Monday morning and come straight home, instead of to his flat, on the Wednesday we might be ok. Interestingly the nurse said they find the couples with the highest rate of success are those that have lots of sex in the week before ovulation, rather than just focussing on the ov date itself.

EuroShagmore Thu 24-Jan-13 11:25:37

Frank I'm sorry the nurse made you cry and the timing is all so complicated with HWHNN. I've been dildocammed this morning too. my body is playing games. On Monday I had a few follies on the right, the biggest being 8mm. I also had a few follies on the left, with the biggest at 7mm. The blood flow was best on the right. So the sonographer and I both thought I would ov from the right (me on the basis that I thought I oved from the left last month). Today I have a 13mm on the left and the right ones haven't grown. So EC is more likely to be the middle of next week rather than Sunday/Monday. I have another scan on Saturday which should help with timing.

I've never taken much notice of the Mitfords. Should I?

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 12:57:14

Advice please oh wise BESHes. Should we go for this cycle or not? It now turns out HWHNN will go away on 4th and not get back till 7th. Should we take the risk and go for it? I really don't know what to do. If we don't go ahead I could end up with another 75 day cycle which could screw us up all over again as HWHNN has more big overseas trips coming up in May.

SinkyMalinks Thu 24-Jan-13 13:20:38

Will they not give you Provera to bring on a period frank?

That's what my unit will do (should I ever pluck up the courage). If cycle ends up longer than 5 weeks I get a course to induce one.

Might avoid the horrors of 3 month cycles...

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 13:30:27

I guess that's an option, though it means we'd have to abstain from ttc sex to avoid an ironidiff.

I've just spoken to HWHNN (more snot and tears on my behalf) and he thinks we should go for it. He thinks he might be able to get back on 6th if he talks very nicely to his boss, so the worst case scenario would be taking the trigger on 5th, having had sex on 4th and again on 6th. He is my voice of reason.

EuroShagmore Thu 24-Jan-13 14:13:32

That sounds like a good option, Frank. Every other day around ov is pretty much optimal, I thought.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 15:59:16

Thanks Euro, sometimes getting my thoughts down in writing, as it were, helps me to see things more clearly.

The nurse has called back to say that my bloods are clear so I'm good to go. They've kept me on the same dose as last time, so we'll see what happens. Rescan is next Thursday.

JustplainoldBuggerlugs Thu 24-Jan-13 17:30:38

Yep go for it. Sex before ov is better anyway. Just make sure you do the whole legs in air thing and orgasm too. I know most don't agree with me on that one but its worth a shot.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 24-Jan-13 17:40:41

I dunno about the legs in the air but I do agree with orgasm wink

Yes I think in your position I'd go for it Frank. The chance of a long cycle and it only being worse in the spring would spur me on to try.

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 18:19:04

I'd go for it too, frank. Speaking as another person with crazy cycles and a partner who spends half the time in another location.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 18:32:12

Operation Self Stab will commence in one hour grin

Fanks ladies <gets out bottle of cooking sherry stolen from Cook's larder>

LazyMachine Thu 24-Jan-13 18:53:57

<incognito>

<lifts dark sunglasses wink shhhh!>

Glad you're going for it Franks - our win was day-before-OV sechs.

<tightens trench coat belt, turns up collar>

<exits to t'other place>

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 19:38:51

<nods; winks>

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 19:39:46

Have you stabbed, frank? How was it?

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 19:48:35

<gives secret handshake>

All stabbed. Little bit ouchy - out of practice!

Northey Thu 24-Jan-13 20:16:28

Let Aunt Fanny kiss it better. No, not you Uncle Quentin, you weirdo. Get back to your study.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 21:45:23

If anyone needs cheering up I've just seen this picture on Twitter. It's a baby sloth cuddling a toy giraffe. It's almost as cute as kitten cam!

JethroTull Thu 24-Jan-13 22:16:45

Good luck Frank. Fingers crossed.

JethroDog is great for cuddles. He loves them.

I am a huge Mitford obsessive. Debo lives just up the road from me.

SinkyMalinks Thu 24-Jan-13 23:51:06

Good luck frank.

And excellent posting of the baby sloth. I want one.

I have sore buzzwarms. This is not usual. And, of course, has resulted in much menkulling, despite very little of the sechs, bring cd 60 odd, and chickening out of OI.

meh.

<makes fort out of sheet and 2 chairs to hide>

Northey Fri 25-Jan-13 03:51:36

Interesting, sinky. Anything else going on, like a jangly womble or queasiness?

Can't sleep again.

SinkyMalinks Fri 25-Jan-13 07:35:36

Queasy yes, but that is likely due to too little sleep and too much coffee.

ignore me. I'm symptom spotting like a newby. This all, as ever, will come to naught.

Norf my dear. Do you always sleep so badly? I don't often struggle with insomnia, but it really is dreadful. You have my sympathies.

Northey Fri 25-Jan-13 07:44:30

Have some b*b* d**t, hun. Squee!

Just stressing about work and the fear that my sister will get diffed and the fact that there is now a sharps bin on top of my wardrobe. I think my mind was just a bit overactive.

SinkyMalinks Fri 25-Jan-13 07:49:46

I know that feeling. I don't sleep well when stress (for that read work stress generally) is getting to me. I went though a phase, while on clomid, when a set of night shifts just sent my body clock crazy. The 3-4 am stretch was particularly bad.

<passes norf a sachet of cooks secret remedy (it's gin)>

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 25-Jan-13 08:09:38

I had a really good night's sleep for a change. I listened to my Woo CD for the first time in ages, maybe that made the difference.

I'm restraining myself from posting on that "planning a summer baby" thread again. A poster has declared that she planned for her children to only be born on even dates, and succeeded. WTactualF??!! hmm

evilgiraffe Fri 25-Jan-13 08:12:07

Hope you got to sleep eventually, norf.

Today is CD14, and I think it might be droid-free, hurrah! grin

Still no sign of a letter from the gynae. I shall be making an appt to see the nurse for chlamydia swabs next week, while there I think I shall ask if the GP actually sent the referral...

EuroShagmore Fri 25-Jan-13 08:19:03

Norfy, you are doing way better than I did. I tried to make KFZK call the drug company and make them come and pick them up again. Proper menkul, I was.

I'm off to see a dr for non fertility reasons this morning. How novel. I have a sebaceous cyst on my face (known in the Euro household as the Head Alien) and had been hoping it would bugger off of its own accord. It clearly isn't going to, so I am going to have to get it carved out. <Cries> I have a weird thing about scars. And now I am going to have one on my face. <Cries more>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 25-Jan-13 11:18:05

Euro my love, I'm sure you will be Very Brave. The scar will only be a tiddler I'm sure <sympathetic dead arm in finest BESH tradition> I always think little scars add charater and interest to somebody. I know it's not the same as it's on my leg, but in the summer I often have people ask about the scar on my leg. And I have a beaut on my hand. Sorry if I'm being stupid and tactless though xxxxx

If only I'd been an hour earlier Norf, we could have chatted through the night. Droid pains always make me get up and wander round.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 25-Jan-13 11:19:34

In Other News, I won nearly £400 last night. Made up, me!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 25-Jan-13 11:21:46

Oh Euro that sounds unpleasant. But chin up and don't cry, you're not a girl after all wink
I have a "thing" on my right upper eyelid, next to my nose. It's like a skin tag or summat. No idea what it is but as far as I can remember its always been there. Every time I see a new optician they have to comment on it. It doesn't cause me any bother though.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 25-Jan-13 11:22:46

Ooo, drinks on you then Rie?

Where did you win it? Gambling, hustling pool? wink

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 25-Jan-13 11:26:39

In a quiz. I had to WORK for it. It was the jackpot question.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Fri 25-Jan-13 11:43:04

Shame, I quite like the idea of the BESH hustling pool in smokey bars like they do in the movies grin