Jesus, this shagging lark is hard work

(30 Posts)
CunningPlan Mon 14-Jan-13 21:49:43

This is the first month that we have been TTC seriously and DH we have decided that we should do it as much as possible to have the best shot. He seems to be under the misapprehension that the more we do it, the more pregnant I'll get grin

But I'm knackered! Admittedly we did get a bit over enthusiastic a little bit early because DH can't count but even so. And I read some threads where there are people that do it every day all the time shock

Where on earth do they find the energy?!

setayharas Mon 14-Jan-13 22:06:01

Haha exactly what I said to my best mate! Iv never had a major sex drive but every other day during last week and saturday,Sunday and today's lunch break has well as truly killed me!
I could never be a sex worker that's for sure I'd b bankrupt!

roofio87 Mon 14-Jan-13 22:12:14

they say you should try to have sex every 2-3 days so there will always be sperm waiting when u ovulate. I don't think its great to go crazy if ur not enjoying it. me and my bf are both 25 and living together so we do enjoy having sex most nights but I think you should just do it when u want to and enjoy it!! I'm sure feeling pressured into sex just to conceive isn't the best way to get pregnant. I find myself getting caught up in it all and need to relax more!!smile

twinklestar2 Mon 14-Jan-13 22:42:58

Roofio it's easy to say that when you haven't been trying for months and months! We have to have sex to get pregnant, whether we enjoy it or not.

roofio87 Mon 14-Jan-13 22:49:08

twinklestar I know,sorry I wasn't meaning to come across preachy or anything. I know its hard and you just have to do it for the end result. I also know I haven't been trying long so don't know what its like in the long term. I imagine it gets tough. I'm already worried about it not happening!! I was just trying to put a positive spin on it,but maybe I didn't come across right!!

twinklestar2 Mon 14-Jan-13 23:11:31

Sorry if I jumped on you smile

OrangeLily Mon 14-Jan-13 23:18:51

I know exactly how you feel.

We did it last night even though DH has a cold. He enticed me by saying ' Can we have sex now?' And when I looked a bit baffled by the non-sexy chat he thought it was because he didn't say please. grin

The end result made up for it though!

i remember month 6 of trying to concieve ds and my husband rolling his eyes and saying "again" in a slightly panicked way grin hw compared it to having your favourite tea EVERY night. sometime you just want toast.

it wkrked though and could get back to just doing it whenever which wasnt very much once the morning sickness kicked in
about to ttc again and im.exhausted just thinking about it grin

apologies for poor typing - on a new phone.

been ttc for nearly four years... its blooming tough. there are weeks days where i just cant be arsed confused

CunningPlan Tue 15-Jan-13 08:05:11

Oh dear InLove I have been moaning about nothing, really haven't I? Four years must be tough.

Last one last night and I told DH "we don't have to so it again for at least a week". His charming reply? "Thank Christ!"

I think I've broken him grin

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 15-Jan-13 08:38:10

Same here, after almost 3 years of trying I'm afraid the romance has gone out of the window. To those people who think getting pregnant is just a matter of having lots of sex I say bugger off grin

<not directed to anyone on this thread, just to the wider world in general>

twinklestar2 Tue 15-Jan-13 09:31:40

Agree frankelly. Been trying for 18 months here.

CrackerJackShack Tue 15-Jan-13 09:41:30

Does anyone elses DH/DP ever come out with the whole "you just want to shag to have a baby, not cause you're attracted to me" line? Or is it just mine when he's not in the mood?

RedRobin1 Thu 17-Jan-13 22:50:56

Just came across this thread and this month has been really hard for DH. We are in cycle 9 and as others have said on here all passion and romance has just left the bedroom when it come to ttc sex. But unfortunately you still have to have sex to get pregnant even whether DH and I want to or not.

We've decided if it doesn't work this month we are just going to take a break from the dtd eod routine next month.

highlove Fri 18-Jan-13 17:59:23

Agree agree agree. Having IVF now so pretty much given up on forced sex thank god. Made me think back to one particular low point where I cried after having sex because it was such angry, resentful sex. Neither of us wanted it, DH got grumpy, I gritted my teeth because it was 'time' and then sobbed afterwards about what had happened to us. If anyone ever again says to me "at least you get to have fun trying" I will rip them a new arsehole give them a piece of my mind.

RedRobin1 Fri 18-Jan-13 18:49:43

I agree, I hate comments like "make the most of it" " make sure you have fun" "oh well, you know what you need to do to get pregnant, keep having more sex" arghhh! If only I could get them to go through what we've been going through!

loobloo Fri 18-Jan-13 21:17:06

It took us 2years to conceive ds, he'll be 3 next week and never used contraception since the day he was born. We've tried some months of every other day, every day or just on the 2/3 main days. That is a lot of sex! Hate the lack of passion/ lust. It becomes a house hold chore (put a load of washing on, DTD, stack the dishwasher).

twinklestar2 Fri 18-Jan-13 21:24:22

Once I cried after sex whilst lying there with my legs in the air! Poor OH sad

RedRobin1 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:50:04

The last time we had sex DH actually said 'let's just get it over and done with' which totally put me off and I was fuming and had to stop myself from crying as I was ovulating and also i just wanted to get it over and done with confused

twinklestar2 Sat 19-Jan-13 20:07:05

sad red

MollyMurphy Sat 19-Jan-13 20:18:08

Both times we conceived we did every second day as we approached ovulation then DTD when my OPK said I was ovulating even if it meant DTD in the morning before work. I empathize though - even that was too much for us lol!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 20-Jan-13 10:23:38

Took us 32 cycles to conceive in the end. Now I'm pregnant we seem to have lost the oomph, it's a bit like having a holiday from it! 2-3 times a week is the best way to do it - timing it to ovulation is a dangerous game because it puts pressure on both of you and there's a chance you'll miss it - I thought I ovulated around CD13 but according to my scan I conceived on CD11 so it's a good job we did it CD6 and 11!

Try to make it a more relaxing, sensual experience - give each other back massages. We found with a clause of this don't inevitably lead to sex, the massage was relaxing and the skin to skin contact was sensual - more often than not lead to sex. Just wash your hands before touching private parts!

RedRobin1 Sun 20-Jan-13 13:01:26

I think I am close to giving up on ttc. For next month I am going to skip OPKs and no temping, no timing sex and just shagging when and if we want to.

Just feel so hopeless and fed up at this point.

I dreamt the other night that I had a positive pregnancy test and my first reaction was RELIEF at not having to dtd anymore!sad

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 20-Jan-13 13:25:02

Red the month I finally got pregnant I did exactly that. No charting, no OPKs, just sex around the right time. Hadn't really even thought much about it until I was sick at work around 14dpo - tested and got BFP!

twinklestar2 Sun 20-Jan-13 21:56:42

I tried that too red, although it didn't work for me. Hope it works for you.

1978andallthat Sun 20-Jan-13 23:16:47

When ttc dc1 (2 and half yrs) we did every other day from day 8 to day 25 ish as some my cycles 35 days. We did am one day then pm two days later then am two days later so was two and a half says between shags. Made it easier somehow.

blondebaby111 Mon 21-Jan-13 19:29:20

5 years of trying here!! I'm afraid romance has gone out the window. The only time i'm in the mood is my fertile time which is a terrible thing to say but I don't see the point any other time!! We literally are DTD to make a baby and I see dp face drop every month when af arrives as if to say, oh no not again!! The joys of ttc! I must say I am giving up on the thought at the moment as its far too stressful!!

Took 16 cycles to conceive DD, now TTC #2 (cycle 14) and its blinking hard work. We aim for 2 - 3 days from CD6 onwards, with daily attempts around predicted ovulation. However, there are some months when the frequency falls off as I don't force myself to shag if I'm really not in the mood. When you are in it for the long haul, you have to give yourself a break occasionally. wink

DoctorWhoFan Tue 22-Jan-13 08:08:37

Oh god, I'm so fed up of sex! Never thought those words would ever pass my lips, but it's true. Ok, maybe I'm just sick of goal-driven sex. Only problem is, we want a baby and just shagging when we felt like it wasn't getting the job done. It really puts a lot of pressure on you both though, doesn't it? After 2 years, I dunno, maybe I'm getting ready to throw in the towel...

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