Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

(993 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 01-Jan-13 23:20:41

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

NewPatchesForOld Tue 01-Jan-13 23:31:28

can I join in? I'm 44 and on cycle 3 of ttc baby #4. I was so hoping to hand dp a bfp on xmas day, but af decided to turn up on xmas eve so here we are again !

hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 00:11:00

Welcome Newpatchesforold. This is a great place to be whilst ttc. Loads of support and wisdom.

Tell us what you are doing - are you charting, using opks, herbs, supplements,acupuncture? Have you had any testing done? Do you have other children?

I hope you don't have to stay too long. Unfortunately I have been ttc for about 3 years, but being on this thread for much of it has been a wonderful support.

NewPatchesForOld Wed 02-Jan-13 00:19:39

Thanks for the welcome. Yes I have 3 other dc aged 18, 15 and 8. They are from my previous marriage. Dp has 3 dc also but we would dearly love to have one together.
I'm not really doing anything except fertility calculators and having lots of sex, but am very aware that time is not on our side.

JBrd I don’t know if you will find this message quickly from the old full up thread and I don't know all the ins and outs of your situation but I just read about the bleeding and am very sorry for you. When I was pregnant with DD (a long time ago) I started bleeding while away at a friend’s. I would get up and pass huge looking clots of whatever! I saved one to show the hospital (without being too gory it looked like the size of a lamb’s liver). I took it to the hospital in a little bag and they were not too keen to look at it; when I looked later I realised it was just blood that had clotted. They thought the blood was coming from the placenta and after a few days of a very scary time it seemed to stop. At the hospital they could not get the scanner to work, we walked past about three machines but they did not have anyone to operate them! In the end they listened to the heart beat and all was well. This was at about 14 weeks. I am only saying this to reassure you that it may be fine and to encourage you to just rest and seek medical help and try not think too far into the future what this may or may not mean. When I did miscarry a couple of years later there was eventually lots of blood but I am under the impression all miscarriages are different so please do not get too far ahead of yourself, just get the help you need. I know you do not know me from a bar of soap but in popping back on to say hi to some old friends I saw your post and just wanted to reply. Really hope all will be well. Sending you a quick prayer it will be.

Thanks Tina hope all is well with you.

Thanks Diege I hope so - home by Christmas, but I think unlikely!

A great year to you Gum.

Lovely to see you Hippy.

Sending huge hugs for 2013 to Angelgeorgie and Miaalexandersmummy.

Hugs to fireflies for a second dc.

And hugs to everyone.

sparklysapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 02:39:59

JBrd, I really feel for you, what an yo-yo few days you've had. As others have said, take it easy and rest, try not to panic, (far easier said than done, I know) and I hope your EPU visit provides you with good news.

Calibee, thinking of you too, I hope you get good news later, as others have said the 3 weeks plus on the FR must be a good sign.

DrWho, good luck with your move - surely it's all coming together now?

Thank you JBrd, littlepink, morien, hopeful, diege, irish,mamaslatts, greenlizard, calibee, drwho, for your support over the past few days, sorry if I've missed anyone. This is the first chance I've had to post from a computer rather than my phone, so couldn't name check before. DH is working away overnight, and had to wait for MIL to go to bed though. We haven't had chance to talk again, though things have improved slightly - we actually DTD a couple of nights ago, so I've been a bit less weepy, although he seemed more withdrawn again today. As green & morien have said, agreeing to stop using contraception therefore means you are TTC with the possible consequence of an actual baby, but maybe some men don't think quite like that til actually presented with a pregnancy, and then panic.
I'm 6 weeks today. I'm constantly expecting to start bleeding, but all ok so far. If this pregnancy fails (I still can't quite believe I'm pregnant), I'm not going to TTC again, given the response at the moment. I think it's partly to do with DH being an only child, and a bit of a control freak, and also because DD is now at school and we've got a bit of time back and we'd have to start again is bothering him - I did think about this too of course, but I can deal with that. And because we both work unsocial hours and can't afford or have space for live in childcare, he has looked after DD on days I work, with the occasional visit from our mums to help when there's not enough days off to go round, but he works full time, so has had less time for himself if that makes sense.
I had a run in with MIL yesterday, so more tears - she'd already done something in our kitchen differently to how I would, I said so & she took it as criticism, but I've kept quiet for 10 days as she takes over our house and imposes her way of doing things in the guise of helping. I generally get on well with her, but she's been here too long, which has also meant I've had very little one-to-one time with either DD or DH which hasn't helped.

Sorry for the ramble. I hope everyone had a lovely New Year's Eve - I went for alcohol free beer in the end, so suspicions weren't aroused! Wishing everyone BFPs and healthy happy pregnancies in 2013 (here's hoping) xx

sparklysapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 02:41:19

And thanks gum for the new thread - please keep posting how you feel, we're here to support each other.

Pixiedust1973 Wed 02-Jan-13 02:56:45

Hi girls, im new. Can I join you? Ill be 40 in February & after finishing off the Christmas beer we decided to try for a baby. smile I already have 2 girls aged 11 & 13 with my ex husband. My current partner is only 34 (bless) & we are keen to have one of our own, if it works. smile Nice to meet you all. smile

DoctorWhoFan Wed 02-Jan-13 07:12:15

Morning ladies...

Welcome to new peeps.

Sparkly - lovely to see you. Even though you sound like you still have an AWFUL lot going on, emotionally, it actually sounds a lot more positive than it did before, so I have my fingers crossed for a really good outcome for you. It's looking much more likely, don't you think?

As you said when TTC men don't actually feel that it's real until presented with a pregnancy. My DP has said that while he's all for us trying to conceive, he knows he's going to panic and have a bit of a freak out when I actually turn around and say I'm pregnant. I'm aware this is going to happen, so I'm prepared for it (sort of). I'd said it's because he's that much younger than me, but given your DH's reaction, I don't think age has much to do with it. He's just scared. It's a HUGE thing to happen in your life, and I think as women, because it's our bodies that it's going to be happening in, somehow we're more ok with the idea before it happens, if you see what I mean? Especially if it doesn't happen right away, I think we have more time to get used to the idea. I'm sure my DP will be a bit girly sobbing mess when/if he finally gets to hold his child. I'm trying to stay positive, despite being an old fart!

Getting AF type cramps still (despite only being 7/8 dpo today and the fact that I never have them until AF actually starts) and feeling slight nausea. Humunguous zit on chin (sooooo attractive), been moody as all hell with my DP (and I don't get PMS - he'd tell you that!) and my nipples seem to be becoming a bit on the sore side. Of course, as with other cycles, this may well all be in me head LOL! However, having had two chemical pregnancies last year, I know I can get pregnant, I just need to make it stick. This month I had a really strong pinching sensation from around 5dpo until yesterday, so for now, I'm telling myself that was inplantation, cos that was a new feeling for me.

Right, enough me, me, me...I'm going to drink my tea. Catch ya in a bit smile

Morien Wed 02-Jan-13 10:28:23

Morning all, and hello to patches and pixie.

jbrd, how are things?

Sparkly, I have no idea how you're managing to deal with all this with your MIL staying for ages as well!

DrWho, fingers crossed that it's not just in your head this time wink

So here I am, CD28 and no sign of anything at all. Not planning to test yet as although my cycles since MC have all been 28/29 days, before that they were a bit longer so I'm not getting my hopes up (yet).

Irishmammybread Wed 02-Jan-13 16:36:09

Hi ,Happy New Year to everyone!

sparkly great that things sound a bit more positive, maybe your DH just needs a bit of time to adjust to the idea.

jbrd hope you got on ok at the EPU and CaliBee hope your bloods are encouraging and everything's progressing well for you.

welcome pixie

patches we seem to have synchronised cycles,AF also arrived for me on Christmas Eve ,lets hope we get synchronised BFPs in a few weeks!

Morien when are you going to test?

gum thanks for starting a new thread,I like the title!
Do you think it would be a good idea to paste everybody's stats on the front page? I'm sorry I have no idea how to do it!

We've had a busy day, went to cinema this morning to see The Rise of the Guardians, McDs for lunch(so much for New Year's resolution to start eating sensibly again!) and then to visit MIL for a while.
DD1 had been scheduled to go into hospital this morning for surgery on her knee but we had a call last night to say the consultant was ill so his list was cancelled. It's the 4th time the date has been changed and it's hard for her because she builds herself up to having it done and then it's put off again.
Anyway we decided to have a treat instead as it feels like a bonus day of holidays!

Isabeller Wed 02-Jan-13 19:11:45

Hello smile thank you hopeful for the thread and best of luck to everyone in 2013 xx

JBrd Wed 02-Jan-13 22:16:34

Hi all, nice shiny new thread wink Marking my place...

Sadly, the visit to the EPU confirmed my fears. I brought the tissue pieces with me because they wanted to take a look (yes, I had kept them shock), and although they have sent them to histology for analyses, they were certain that I am indeed having a miscarriage after all hmm
They were lovely and kind and supportive, but I was/am still gutted. It's a bit too much of a roller coaster at the moment! I had just started to believe that there might be a good outcome after the bleed before Christmas...

They were a bit worried about infection risk, so I'm now on antibiotics. No further action from their side (I thought I'd get another scan and/or blood test to confirm), the only follow up is that I need to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks.

Thank you all for you kind words and thoughts and messages, I'm on my phone and too tired to name check - but I am very very grateful for all your support.

Irishmammybread Wed 02-Jan-13 22:36:24

I'm so so sorry JBrd I have been thinking of you today and hoping and praying that there would be a happy outcome.
I'm surprised too that they didn't scan you again or test your HCG levels, they did with all my miscarriages and repeated bloods and scans till they were sure it was complete.I suppose the histology results will confirm things and if you're on antibiotics you know you wont develop an infection.
It is just heartbreaking to have had your hopes raised and then dashed.
Look after yourself. xxx

sparklysapphire Wed 02-Jan-13 22:56:48

JBrd, I'm so sorry, Ive been thinking of you too, & was so hoping you'd have good news. Please take it easy and be gentle with yourself.
Calibee, how are you doing, & tina too?

hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 23:34:20

Jbrd I am so sorry for your loss.bear It is so hard to have your hopes dashed like that. When I miscarried the second time, I had a scan after spotting and my doctor told me all was well, there was a heartbeat, only to find three days later that my baby's heart had stopped. Be sure to take good care of yourself. I remember feeling incredibly tired. Take time to heal.

Any news for your Calibee? I hope you have had good news.

It is such a roller-coaster of highs and lows when ttc at our age. Fortunately we are strong women who can get back on the horse and ride towards our THB.

hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 23:43:37

Here is the list:

hopefulgum 46 years young ttc #6, 2mmc,1mc, ttc for 2.5 years DSborn@41
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)
Isabeller ttc #2, IVF with DE, 1DD, ttc 5years
Morien 40, ttc #1, MC at 11 weeks
greenlizard 43, TTC #1, never coneived before, TTC 4 months.
Woolywomble 42 in Feb, DH 52, ttc #3, 1mmc at 11wks in Sep
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3
notsoold 41 years young, ttc #3, 1mmc , ttc 9 months( including the mmc)
wylie05 44 years young DD8yr

positive preg test:
Calibee 42 years young,ttc 1st with DP,3 DC's,ttc 8 months
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months

Babies Born
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young

Not TTC right now:
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41

No longer ttc:


hopefulgum Wed 02-Jan-13 23:45:14

Jbrd, I wasn't sure whether to move you off the +pt list. I certainly haven't meant to upset you. Let me know if you want me to change the list.

hippychick66 Wed 02-Jan-13 23:46:58

Marking my place. i look a little lonely on the list sad

hippychick66 Wed 02-Jan-13 23:47:49

As i said on the other thread which was started at the same time - I'm so sorry for your sad news JBird. XXX

Soopermum1 Wed 02-Jan-13 23:53:11

hi ladies. can I join you gang?

I'll be 40 next summer and am just finishing up cycle 4sad sad

have a much older DS.

happened first time with DS so DH getting nervy but trying to remind him that I am a lot older and may take longer (if at all sad sad )

on the positive side, no particular reason to believe there's any issues and having fun in the meantime wink wink

DoctorWhoFan Thu 03-Jan-13 00:03:09

Hi Gum, can I be put on the list please?

DoctorWhoFan 45yrs young (ahem!) Ttc #1, currently in agonising 2ww . Testing on or around 9th January. Been ttc for 2 years.

Feels like forever when you're this old, eh?

Just wanted to add my condolences JBrd. I've had 2 chemical pregnancies over the last 12 months, and that was bad enough. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, but you are in my thoughts x

DoctorWhoFan Thu 03-Jan-13 00:06:12

Hey Soopermum1, welcome. I'm pretty new myself but the ladies are lovely and welcoming and it's a nice place to hang out smile

Isabeller Thu 03-Jan-13 00:24:15

so sorry to hear of your situation JBrd

hopefulgum Thu 03-Jan-13 00:38:47

Hi everyone. I am having connection problems on my computer so i am posting from my phone. I tried to update list with new members but couldn't get it to work. I will have to try later cos tbere's no way i can do it from phone. If anyone else wants to do it just copy and paste and add info in another post. Gum xx

Jbrd so sorry. Keep well and keep hoping.

If it is as you suspect, is this your first or second misscariage (or sadly more)?

The reason I ask is because there can be investigations after 2 or 3. Don't want to be morbid but if you wish to take a look at ...

Q "my hospital told me that they will only investigate why i miscarry after i have 3.. does anyone know if this means 3 in a row or 2 and then a healthy pregnancy and then a 3rd miscarraige?"

One answer

"I had my second recently and before my ERPC I asked if they could investigate to find out what had gone wrong. As I am 35 they agreed - although I had to tell theatre staff that the doctor I had spoken to had agreed to this just before they put me out as he had not informed them!"

Pixiedust1973 Thu 03-Jan-13 01:02:54

Thanks for the welcomes. smile Please add me to the ttc list hopefulgum smile Sorry to hear your news Jbrd sad

notsoold Thu 03-Jan-13 01:11:04

So sorry jbrd...sad
My heart goes to you...

hopefulgum Thu 03-Jan-13 05:18:00

New List:

hopefulgum 46 years young ttc #6, 2mmc,1mc, ttc for 2.5 years DSborn@41
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)
Isabeller ttc #2, IVF with DE, 1DD, ttc 5years
Morien 40, ttc #1, MC at 11 weeks
greenlizard 43, TTC #1, never coneived before, TTC 4 months.
Woolywomble 42 in Feb, DH 52, ttc #3, 1mmc at 11wks in Sep
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3
notsoold 41 years young, ttc #3, 1mmc , ttc 9 months( including the mmc)
wylie05 44 years young DD8yr
DoctorWhoFan 45yrs young (ahem!) Ttc #1, currently in agonising 2ww
NewPatchesForOld 44 yrs and on cycle 3 of ttc baby #4
Soopermum1:40 next summer and am just finishing up cycle 4
Pixiedust1973:40 in February ttc #3

positive preg test:
Calibee 42 years young,ttc 1st with DP,3 DC's,ttc 8 months
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months

Babies Born
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young

Not TTC right now:
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41

No longer ttc:


I think it is all up to date now

Diege Thu 03-Jan-13 08:46:25

I am so sorry for you jbrd. It is so cruel after getting your hopes raised. I too am surpised they didn't rescan; did they give a reason for that? Hope you are getting lots of rl support xxx
I am having to return to bed I'm afraid as on day 2 of a horrendous migraine. These have got more frequent in the last 3 mths, every 2 weeks minimum, so shall have to seek out some strong drugs I think from GP as my usual codeine stash isn't working.
Will be back when the letters aren't jumping about!
Love to all, and welcome to the newbies! xxx

littlepinkfizz Thu 03-Jan-13 08:52:23

hopefulgum 46 years young ttc #6, 2mmc,1mc, ttc for 2.5 years DSborn@41
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)
Isabeller ttc #2, IVF with DE, 1DD, ttc 5years
Morien 40, ttc #1, MC at 11 weeks
greenlizard 43, TTC #1, never coneived before, TTC 4 months.
Woolywomble 42 in Feb, DH 52, ttc #3, 1mmc at 11wks in Sep
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc #5 for 6 mths. Ds 22 mths . Mmc at 13.5 weeks
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3
notsoold 41 years young, ttc #3, 1mmc , ttc 9 months( including the mmc)
wylie05 44 years young DD8yr

positive preg test:
Calibee 42 years young,ttc 1st with DP,3 DC's,ttc 8 months
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months

Babies Born
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young

Not TTC right now:
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41

No longer ttc:


littlepinkfizz Thu 03-Jan-13 08:54:56

Sorry no time ti add anyone else as ds roaring !

jbrd so so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you and know what a terrible time you are having. It's all confusion and so difficult to make sense of anything. Mother Nature canbe so cruel. X

TinaO99 Thu 03-Jan-13 09:15:04

Jbrd so very sorry to hear your news, sending you lots of hugs

sparkly hugs for you too, I'm glad my mil lives in France! I get on well with her but I must admit I wouldn't be too keen on her spending an extended period of time in the same house with me!

welcome to the newbies, great to have you on the thread, sooper there is also a big gap between my dd (aged 21) and my twins when they are born! Luckily she is now coming round to the idea and I think is getting excited to be a big sister!

I spent yesterday afternoon in the maternity assessment unit due to some spotting, they didn't do a scan but examined me and said it was probably old blood and could possibly have been from where the placenta attached to the wall of the womb, they told me not to worry unless it was fresh blood and/or I had pain. It was a ll a bit embarrassing as I was in a room with another couple so although there was a curtain inbetween I had to tell the Dr all the intimate details with them listening!

Pixiedust1973 Thu 03-Jan-13 14:08:44

That sounds feasible from what I remember Tina O99 so try not to stress about it. Same happened to me with my eldest. The entire pregnancy with her was a nightmare of tests etc but all was well & she is 13 now & a complete pain in the bum lol.
I have been looking into how likely it is for me & dp to conceive & im quite worried now that it wont happen. Dp is 15 stone overweight & has an under-active thyroid gland which is not yet stabilised with medication as he is still putting on weight. sad I read that both things cause low, even infertility in men. sad Has anyone else conceived with these issues? Tbh if we can't conceive I will get over it as I have my 2 already, but dp has no kids of his own & will be devastated. At my age we simply don't have time for other issues!

Morien Thu 03-Jan-13 15:12:12

Oh Jbrd, I'm sorry. After getting your hopes up again as well...

woollywomble Thu 03-Jan-13 15:20:34

Hi everyone and Happy New Year! Sorry to hear your news JBrd, when I miscarried at 11 weeks I didn't have any further scans either, just had to wait for a negative pg test. I was quite surprised to be honest as expected to be scanned again. Take it easy and hope to see you back when you're ready.

Thinking of you too CaliBee, hope you're Ok.

AF turned up for me today, so no new year BFP for me. Perhaps a good thing though as if I had, I would have been due the same week my eldest sits her 11+ exam in September and would have been really unfair on her. Have decided if it doesn't happen for me this year, then will accept that it's not meant to be. (Please remind me of this, this time next year). Must try even harder this month for an October baby!!

galwaygal Thu 03-Jan-13 18:31:55

hopefulgum 46 years young ttc #6, 2mmc,1mc, ttc for 2.5 years DSborn@41
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)
Isabeller ttc #2, IVF with DE, 1DD, ttc 5years
Morien 40, ttc #1, MC at 11 weeks
greenlizard 43, TTC #1, never coneived before, TTC 4 months.
Woolywomble 42 in Feb, DH 52, ttc #3, 1mmc at 11wks in Sep
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc #5 for 6 mths. Ds 22 mths . Mmc at 13.5 weeks
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3
notsoold 41 years young, ttc #3, 1mmc , ttc 9 months( including the mmc)
wylie05 44 years young DD8yr

positive preg test:
Calibee 42 years young,ttc 1st with DP,3 DC's,ttc 8 months
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months

Babies Born
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young

Not TTC right now:
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41

No longer ttc:


I couldn't leave Hippy feeling lonely on the list!!! smile grin

hippychick66 Thu 03-Jan-13 19:06:43

Ahh bless you Gallwaygirl - the original GG grin <Hippy snuggles up next to GG>

Irishmammybread Thu 03-Jan-13 20:38:13

hopefulgum 46 years young ttc #6, 2mmc,1mc, ttc for 2.5 years DSborn@41
remnant 43 years, ttc #2 for 5 months (DS 1 born@40)
Isabeller ttc #2, IVF with DE, 1DD, ttc 5years
Morien 40, ttc #1, MC at 11 weeks
greenlizard 43, TTC #1, never coneived before, TTC 4 months.
Woolywomble 42 in Feb, DH 52, ttc #3, 1mmc at 11wks in Sep
Irishmammybread 45 in Feb, ttc no. 4, 3 DC 19,13,9. 3 mc in 2012
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc #5 for 6 mths. Ds 22 mths . Mmc at 13.5 weeks
mamaslatts a few months off 40 and starting to TTC dc3
notsoold 41 years young, ttc #3, 1mmc , ttc 9 months( including the mmc)
wylie05 44 years young DD8yr

positive preg test:
Calibee 42 years young,ttc 1st with DP,3 DC's,ttc 8 months
sparklysapphire 44.5, 1 DD 4, ttc #2 9 months

Babies Born
Jollster 44 years young
lolfactor 45 years young

Not TTC right now:
Deige 42 years young ttc#6 last DS born at 41

No longer ttc:


Irishmammybread Thu 03-Jan-13 20:59:43

I managed to paste and copy, DD1 gave me a computer tutorial earlier!

Diege I get bad migraines too, I find Syndol is the only over the counter product that touches them when they're severe,I think it's got the highest dose of codeine you can get without prescription. I can only take them at night though or if I know I wont have to drive as even one tablet makes me feel woozy. If the pain is so bad you can't sleep they do seem to help though. Sometimes all you can do is lie completely still in a dark quiet room and wait for it to go, though with your 5 dc I'd imagine chance would be a fine thing!

Tina it certainly wasn't very considerate to have you in the same room as another couple while discussing your medical condition, must have felt a bit awkward, but at least it was reassuring to hear they don't think the bleeding is anything serious.

pixie I don't have any experience of hypothyroidism but you're right, you don't want any extra complications!

woolly sorry to hear AF arrived.

JBrd thinking of you, hope you're coping ok x

lotsofcheese Thu 03-Jan-13 22:05:23

Just a wee hello from me - I don't post often but do follow the thread & enjoy hearing your news.

I had my 20 week scan this week - all was well & I'm no longer obsessing about m/c. However, I'm now approaching PE territory again & it's a very real fear. I have a few weeks before the appointments & scans ramp up, so I'm just taking it a week at a time.

Sending positive BFP vibes to everyone!!! Xx

hopefulgum Thu 03-Jan-13 23:10:35

Lovely to hear from you lotsofcheese - 20 weeks already - amazing. Did you find out the sex of the baby?

Tina, glad to hear that everything is ok. Has your bump popped out yet?

Galwaygirl - hello! Nice to see you. How's things? Do you mind me asking how long you were ttc and how you managed to stop ttc? I'm struggling with that one.

Pixie, when I had my first miscarriage I went to see a naturopath who suggested my DH's borderline Hypo-thyroid may have helped cause the problem( however,he's only borderline,so hasn't had medication). However, since then I have had two bfp's (but sadly miscarried again). Hopefully your DH's thyroid will be sorted on the meds asap. Just keep trying - he'll still have some healthy swimmers in there. Have you considered having a sperm analysis done? It will tell you his counts, morphology and something else which I can't recall right now. It may help ease your mind,or at least give you an idea of where you are at. There are many vitamins and supplements that can help sperm counts, but I think your DH's condition needs to be sorted out too.

woolywomble - sorry about AF, but you have the right attitude. October will be just as nice for a new baby,and by then your daughter will have finished exams.

Calibee - I do hope you are alright. I'm worried about you as you haven't dropped in. I hope your little one is growing in there.

Deige - so sorry you are having migraines, I haven't had them myself but my DS has and I can see how debilitating they are. Do you know what the triggers could be? I hope it is sorted out soon.

As for me, this cycle is very odd. I have barely had a single symptom - which is so unlike me. Almost every month I have something going on.This time - zilch. If it hadn't been for the ovulation pain I felt and a raised temperature I would be sure I hadn't ovulated. I have barely any boob tenderness, which I seem to get every month after ovulation. So I don't feel too hopeful for a BFP. But I guess I just have to remain optimistic and see what happens this year.

It is nice to see so much action happening on the thread.

Pixiedust1973 Thu 03-Jan-13 23:38:22

Thanks Irishmammybread & hopefulgum. When we see the doctor for the next blood test results in a months time ill ask them if dp can have any tests, thats if he agrees to it I will. He might want to give it a month or 2 first to see how it goes. Could get lucky, I used to be highly fertile & conceived my first dd in 3 months & the next in the first month, although I was in my mid 20's then of course. smile

notsoold Fri 04-Jan-13 00:19:44

Hi don't know me but if I may....
My brother has a under active thyroid that was not diagnosed for a long while. During that time he fathered 4 children. But the diagnosehelped a lot with his weight and with having more energy for his kids...i Just wanted to share with

Pixiedust1973 Fri 04-Jan-13 00:52:06

Thanks notsoold. That's just what I wanted to hear. smile

Morien Fri 04-Jan-13 10:06:41

hopeful, that's like me this cycle. I normally have something or other going on and this time there's nothing. I'm CD30 but I don't want to test - the last few cycles I've had all these definite pg symptoms so I've tested and of course it's been BFN every time. This time there are no symptoms but I'd rather just wait for AF to come than test (if I concentrate really hard I can kind of identify pre-AF-type cramps). Anyway, I don't even know if AF is late as my cycles before MC were longer than this. Hey ho, time will tell. I guess I'll test next week if AF doesn't show up...

And apart from that, I just warned to add my voice to the 'are you ok, calibee?' chorus. You haven't been around for a while, hope everything's ok.

Diege, hope your migraine clears up soon.

hopeful, how's your running going? I've done Couch to 5km a couple of times (I'm not what you'd call sportygrin) and I've really enjoyed it. Can't run in the winter though as we live in the middle of nowhere and the farm tracks I run on in the summer don't have street lighting and it's dark when I get home (it's a good excuse grin). I try to swim a couple of times a week. On a different note, I've just started an introductory meditation programme that I read about in The Guardian. I've only done 2 days but I'm really motivated and feeling quite excited - I know I need to do something to be less stressed, TTC or not, and I hope this will help.

Enjoying my last day off before starting work again Monday. It's been such a lovely break.

TinaO99 Fri 04-Jan-13 10:43:37

Gum it's started to pop out a bit, Dr said it looked about right for my dates the other day so that was reassuring - still bleeding a bit last night and today but it still looks like old blood, wish I knew what it was but at the moment I'm more concerned about the almost constant headaches |I'm getting, I'm seeing the Dr this afternoon to get some stuff for constipation blush so I'll mention it then, it's probably hormonal but theyre wearing me out and paracetomol doesn't help!

cheese glad to hear all was well on your 20 week scan, mine is on the 22nd - can't wait to see the little wrigglers again - when you don't see them for a while you start to worry!

whats everyone up to this weekend? I'm meeting up with a couple of ladies from another forum I post on that live near me and are also having twins, really looking forwards to seeing them as they both had IVF too so we all have lots in common!

remnant Fri 04-Jan-13 11:46:31

jbrd, I'm really sorry!

calibee, how are you?

I'm afraid I'm slightly out of touch here, so apologies for not really responding to everything. DH decided just before I ovulated this month that he definitely didn't want another baby, so I've been been trying to refocus my attention elsewhere. I've also been gently trying to explain how he's wrong blush and waiting to see if that is more successful than my attempts to forget about ttc.

The last time we had sex was at least 2 or 3 days before I ovulated and now, 12 dpo, I'm on cycle day 28. I've only had one other 28 day cycle in the last 6 months, usually it's 24-25 days. i have slightly sore nipples but nothing really crampy and even the sore nipples seem to be fading this morning. I've been wondering if I'm just experiencing the irregular cycles that come before the menopause. I had one last hpt and I just caved in and did it so I'd know one way or another. However, hasn't helped. There's the faintest faintest shadow of a second line making a cross. It is very very faint but visible enough for my imagination not to be able to rule out pregnancy.

I will not be sharing this with dh (or anyone else) for a few weeks at least. He won't notice a late period I'm sure, and even if I am pregnant now there's every chance I won't be tomorrow, of next week or next month. But blimey, what if I am!?

NewPatchesForOld Fri 04-Jan-13 14:09:20

2ww for me again now. It was OD yesterday I believe, backed up by the ov pains and slightly painful sex last night, and the fact that I woke DP up at 4am as I was feeling so...ahem...rampant! blush. Not sure if the timings will be right though, as we missed the 2 nights before OD, but hoping we will have caught it last night (or this morning). I stocked up on the cheap tests from amazon, so can poas as often as my imagination wants grin.
Aaarrgghh...hate this 2ww.

remnant Fri 04-Jan-13 16:44:51

oops, forgot to say hello to newbies: newpatches, pixiedust, soopermum. is that everyone? good to see we're not alone

update from me shock bought some FR tests and there are definitely two pink stripes!

YAY for another bfp to a 43 year old!
BOO to dh's latest decision on another dc!

The situation is bound to resolve itself in a couple of days or weeks
In the meantime I'll keep you company sparkly

lotsofcheese Fri 04-Jan-13 17:03:48

Remnant: wow!!! Hoping it's a sticky one & your DH comes round - crossing everything for you.

Calibee - thinking of you too & hoping your DH comes round too - sounds like he may be "defrosting" slightly if he's up for dtd?

Tina - glad to hear you're getting a wee bump now - before you know it, your 20 week scan will be here.

Hopeful - thank you for asking - I am having a girl gringringringrin - over the moon about it as I have DS (4) - already & this will be my last pregnancy. I found out from the amnio. DP doesn't want to know the gender, so I have to keep schtum in RL - but I can tell all you wonderful ladies here!!

I've got about a dozen bin bags full of DS's baby clothes - so I will sell them plus DS's old pram & hopefully make enough money to buy a girlie pram.

littlepinkfizz Fri 04-Jan-13 17:52:19

Wow remanant wow! Congratulations!!

I think once your Dh realises that it happened before he had mentioned not wanting trying for another, he'll be fine!

Soo jealous! And a few days prior to ov too! I have thrown away the ov predictor kit and am just going au naturel from now on. Hoping it works!

NewPatchesForOld Fri 04-Jan-13 17:57:53

Congrats Remnant...wonderful news, and I'm sure DH will come around as Fizz says once he realises it was done before he changed his mind.

Now begins the horrid 'what-was-that-is-it-a-sign-of-pregnancy' thing...every twinge, every tiny hint of nausea (nausea played a big part in all 3 of my pgs and also all 3 of the labours blush ) every tingle in the boobage area.

I'm sorry that I haven't commented on everyone's updates but am posting and cooking at the same time, but fingers crossed for everyone.


quickdowntonson Fri 04-Jan-13 18:20:11

Hi ladies can I come and sit on the sofa? I'm 41 and TTC DC3, I have a Ds aged 14, and a DD also aged 14 (not twins, born 11 months apart so they are the same age for 1 month a year!). I had an unplanned pregnancy last year which mc at 7 weeks, and currently on cycle 10 of TTC. I'm 11 DPO today, and symptom spotting like mad! Every twinge etc is driving me crazy.
Congratulations Remnant - Any 'symptoms' before your AF was due? Did you have cramps etc? Please share the details!! x

JBrd Fri 04-Jan-13 19:13:44

remnant Congratulations, that's fantastic news! So happy for you. And hopefully, your DH will soon come to agree wink

CaliBee - hope all is good with you...

Irishmammybread Fri 04-Jan-13 20:48:33

Congratulations remnant !!! It's wonderful news and I'm sure your DH will come round.
It's very encouraging to hear you conceived after dtd a few days before ovulation. DH goes away for a week in the early hours of Monday morning and I ovulated on cd16 last month. I'm on cd 12 now so if we dtd again Sat and Sun morning I might be still in with a chance!

CaliBee hope you're ok xxx

Welcome Quick ! That's amazing having two 14 year olds! Are they both in the same school year?
I also started to ttc last year after miscarrying an unplanned baby. I always would have loved another baby but DH wasn't keen and I had resigned myself that it wasn't practical and three children was our lot. We had got a bit relaxed about contraception but it was a big surprise to find out I was pregnant, I didn't even test till I was over 5 weeks ! Once we knew we were so pleased and were both then devastated when I miscarried at 11 weeks. DH was keen to try again and I felt an overwhelming longing and need ,not to replace the little one we'd lost, but just to have a baby. Unfortunately I've had a further two miscarriages since but I'm still hoping and there's great support on this thread.

Cheese lovely to hear you're having a little girl(though I'm sure you'd be just as pleased if it was a boy!) and that all is going well.

JBrd how are you ? x

woollywomble Fri 04-Jan-13 21:19:27

Congratulations remnant flowers. Hello to all the new people too.

I am still baffled by how people know when they have ovulated - can you all shed some light? I have a fairly irregular cycle, though having been on the pill for most of the time since I was 18, I still feel I'm getting to grips with it myself - varies from 28 to 38 days. I've tried temping, but can see no real pattern and have tried OPK sticks, but only seem to ever get a very faint second line which, according to the instructions still means negative. Also, from what I've read, we need to dtd in the days leading up to ov rather than after, so that's probably too late. As DH won't give in to my demands every other night for two weeks, I'm trying to pin it down more specifically as it feels like pure guesswork at the moment!

galwaygal Fri 04-Jan-13 21:50:45

Hopefulgum - in answer to you question we were trying from after my ds2 was born in 2008, as I was 40 when he was born and I wanted the pregnancies close together.
He is now 4.5 years old, so we were trying for 4 years. In three years as you know, I had 11 miscarriages, since my last miscarriage a year ago we have not fallen pregnant again. After 6 months of not being pregnant we stopped trying as such.

However we are not using contraception, so there is a chance of pregnancy, but from tracking my cycle for so many years I know when I am in the fertile phase and just telling my dh has the effect of generally stopping proceedings!

To be honest I have got to a place where being nappy-free and with all the children now at school, I find it hard to picture myself going back to the stress of sleepless nights etc. also the ideal of having a sibling close in age to ds2 is no longer possible so the dream I had has effectively died. I have grieved for the lost babies, the lost dream and the loss of my youth and loss pf my fertility, over the last year. I am going through a period.of transition, mid-life crisis if you like, and this does not fit well with the idea of pregnancy/baby happening at the same time!

The transition from ttc to stopping has been a slow process. One that I am still working on. I hope this helps a little? I like to check up on how all my "old" chums are here every now and again, it is good to see some successes too.

Pixiedust1973 Fri 04-Jan-13 22:50:02

Many congrats remnant gives me hope to hear of your bfp smile Im sure dp will get used to the idea in time.
Hi quickdowntonson you must be busy with 2 14 year olds. I have a potential large gap too, my kids are 12 in a few weeks & 13 & 1/2, but both dp & I are used to this set up both being the middle child of 3 with a much younger sibling. My sister is almost 9 years younger & dp's sister is 12 years younger.
Hope everyone on here is ok & has a good weekend. smile

hopefulgum Fri 04-Jan-13 23:08:38

Wow. So much goes on while I sleep! It's always nice to get up and drop into the thread with a cup of tea.

The internet is dropping out every few seconds, so I'm not sure if this post will make itgrinWill push on though.

Remnant - that's bloody brilliant news, particularly after the decision to not ttc had been made. I hope this is a sticky little baby!

Thanks so much for your reply Galwaygal, I sometimes have those feelings - that life is simpler, time to move on etc, but still haven't quite felt the desire to stop ttc. Like you, I wanted a sibling close in age for my DS (he's also 4.5), so now that gap just keeps widening. No matter all the arguments for not bothering to ttc, I still can't shift the desire for a babyconfused

I bumped into one of my friend's sons yesterday - with his little daughter in a sling on his chest. Oh - she was so gorgeous (3 months old) - it was a funny feeling - our children are old enough to give us grandchildren (he's only a couple of years older than my eldest son), but I still want to have my own baby.This young man's mother, like me, has had a baby in her forties ( at 42) but since then has had three miscarriages, and hasn't had anymore miscarriages in the last two years (she's now 50). I know that could be me too - that I get to my 50th birthday without having a THB. She is still open to it, but has moved on I think, she is studying to be a naturopath.

I think I will come to it eventually, but right now,I am still hopeful. Though I would be very surprised if I get a bfp this cycle. No symptoms whatsoever and temperatures not very high. I haven't used the progesterone cream this month, so I wonder if that gives me all the symptoms in previous months?

woolywomble - in answer to your question: I have an idea of when I've ovulated because I get ovulation pain most months, and it is distinctive and different to other abdo pain (e.g wind pain). Also, I have taken my temperature and charted for 5 years now, and the pattern becomes very clear after a few cycles. It might be worth trying charting again - fertility friend has a great tutorial to get you up to speed. Also, do you notice a change in your cervical mucus? If it feels "wet" or resembles egg white, then it is fertile time and you will ovulate soon. Also, the Clearblue fertility monitor is great - you use first morning urine and it tells you when fertility is high in the run up to ovulation, and peak day is usually the day of the LH surge, which means ovulation in the next 12 -48 hours. It can help take away the guess work, and means you don't have to be having SWI every other day from day 8 onwards...especially if you have a long cycle.

Welcome quickdowntonson - you are still young, so I hope you will be pregnant soon. So sorry for your loss. It is heart-breaking.

Morien - I'm still doing the running program, but I'm quite sore. I wish my knees and ankles didn't hurt so much, because aside from that I am motivated, and don't find the running too hard (I seem to be getting a rhythm and don't get too puffed). I went to the gym a couple of days ago to do a "bodybalance" class (mainly yoga and pilates) to help with the soreness and do some stretching, but instead of helping I am much more sore! I think I may have over done it. I am having a rest day today - not going to run or do yoga or anything, but it's hot,so will probably have a dip at some point.

Tina, I hope the doctor can help you with your headaches, how awful.

Cheese, a little girl!! How exciting. I am still hankering after another daughter.I've got three sons, I need a little girl to even things out (but will take a boy, thanks very muchgrin).

Calibee - come here soon- we are here to support you no matter what happens.thanks

Irishmammybread Fri 04-Jan-13 23:21:27

galwaygal thank you for sharing your story. 11 miscarriages in 3 years must have been unbelievably difficult to go through.
At 44 going on 45 I know realistically that my dream of a baby may not happen so I know it may be something I will just have to accept and come to terms with if that is the case. My last miscarriage was at the end of Aug/beginning of Sept and because I was told taking aspirin may make a difference I still feel I have to give it a chance for a while longer... but I think I would find it difficult to start using contraception again so I don't know if I can put a time limit on trying. Good to hear you feel you are making the transition,hope you can work through it.

wooly as far as I know the only way to confirm the day of ovulation is a sustained thermal shift, but you only know retrospectively. I only started using opk tests relatively recently but have got a darker line that correlates with the temp rise, not ever quite as dark as the control line though.
I was wondering if anyone else finds the line gets darker over a few days or if it goes from completely blank to positive?
The opk tests detect the LH surge so it tells you ovulation is likely to occur ,but only the temp rise will confirm that it has.
As you say eod for 2 weeks isn't always possible to achieve, especially when rl gets in the way!
I find that now I've started noticing ewcm that gives some idea too, but it's not an exact science!

Irishmammybread Fri 04-Jan-13 23:34:54

hi gum, posts crossed(I'm a slow typer and am multitasking , baking a cake and have a load in the washing machine at the same time!)
I wonder about grand children too, in only 4 years DS will be the age DH was when we had him. Though I'm very glad we had him ,the early years were difficult(I was newly qualifed, DH was still a student) so I would prefer for his sake if he waited a bit longer! I still don't know if grandchildren would compensate for my own baby, I think I'd like to be greedy and have both!

calendargal Fri 04-Jan-13 23:47:34

Can I join too? I'm 40 and just about to start ttc again, although I have been lurking on this thread for a year while, so I feel as though I know some of you already.

remnant Sat 05-Jan-13 00:24:29

hopeful good morning grin

Thanks for all the encouragement everyone. I'm still in shock. I won't be able to think it real until I get through a CVS/amnio successfully, and I realise how many hurdles there are between now and then. I also know that most of it is out of our control. Have we collected anywhere notes on 'best practice' for avoiding mc in 40's though? Anything more than aspirin?

galway 11 miscarriages ! omg I'm so sorry but slightly in awe, what a trouper you must be to keep going.
lotsofcheese congratulations on your girl - if I get that far I will be finding out gender
pinkfizz hope your approach works x
quickdowntonson hello, welcome and good luck
woolly have you tried a cbfm? I think it can cope with cycles up to 40 days, but check. I can sympathise anyway re every other day for two weeks being unrealistic. We just managed on day 9 and day 13!

Right now I'm jumping at any twinge, knicker checking and expecting to see blood all the time. I've had a couple of hot flushes today but that's about it. Very premature obviously, but I already feel like I'm betraying DS1 sadly. I've heard that when second child comes along you do lose some intimacy with eldest. That right?

Rowgtfc72 Sat 05-Jan-13 07:33:01

Hello ladies. Like calendargal Ive been lurking for a year and feel I know you all too. Im 41 in a few weeks and have a five yr old daughter. We made a conscious decision not to have any more kids. Dd is perfect and no trouble (so far !). I dont have a maternal streak, dh did all the baby stuff.I dont find babies snuggly or sweet at all.
It my be my biological clock ticking in my head, or the fact that all the nice young mums at school are having their second or even that my lovely SIL is having her second (we were pregnant together, dd and her cousin were born five days apart) but recently Ive thought should we?
I feel really sorry dd wont get to do the big sister thing I suppose and dont want to do the "what if? " in a couple of years when the decision will be out of my hands. Ive read the stats on mc and problems for ladies our age and quite frankly it terrifies me and do I really want to go through all that.
Im going to have a chat with dh this afternoon. If he still is happy with one thats ok with me (will be a short visit with you ladies then). Hes only 32 and I dont think age worries him yet, but time is not on my side so I think we need the chat sooner rather than later !
Will let you know how it goes. Must say though I have felt privledged to read your stories. People assume once your 40 youre done with the kid thing and dont realise that its not always the case. Wishing you all bfps or at least some peace of mind with your decisions.

hopefulgum Sat 05-Jan-13 08:01:22

Hi everyone,
I was just reading over some of my older posts and came across this advice that was given to me when I was last pregnant. It helps explain why aspirin can be helpful for women who have had previous miscarriages, just thpought it might be useful to someone:
"Ive also had several miscarriages but I'm currently 24 wks. Like you my tests all came back inconclusive but apparently most multiple miscarriage cases are inconclusive only a small percentage are down to an identifable factor. As soon as I found out I was pg I self referred myself to the early pregnancy unit where I was scanned and told to take 75mg of aspirin daily. I didnt know the science but I did know that aspirin in small doses can definitely help. My parents have a friend who's a haematologist who kindly explained that after each miscarriage microscopic clots are left in the mothers bloodstream - causing no health issues for the mother but they can affect the flow of blood to the early foetus - potentially leading to miscarriage. Apparently every mc increases the amount of micro clots and therefore increases the risk of another mc! The drug of choice to treat this is aspirin and they usually start off prescribing 75mg to be taken daily, they prescribe clexane if they are more serious clotting issues. IMO I think you would be wise to take a low dose aspirin daily but you need your dr to agree, as for progesterone I asked about this and my consultant said that there was little evidence that progesterone supplements would have helped me"

Hello to the newbiessmile

knickyknocks Sat 05-Jan-13 08:04:04

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone on here a happy new year. I really do hope it brings lots of BFPs. It was nice to see my name on the list.
When I was TTC, this thread was so supportive - it was my safe haven to say exactly what I felt. Congratulations to remnant - when you're ready, pop over to the 40 plus thread on the pregnancy talkboard. There's a few familiar names from this thread.
I'm 30 weeks now, a baby boy due date 17th March - 8 eight days before my 41st birthday. I thought it wasn't possible, but there seems to be many many more of us over 40's conceiving - something I've been told throughout my journey. Much love and hope for dreams to come true this year for all of you XX

Isabeller Sat 05-Jan-13 08:05:06

Hello calendargirl smile

It's good to be back home after a 9 day care stint with DPs Mum. I slipped a bit with C25K but will get started again today. The first injection of our DE cycle is next Monday and thank goodness the nurse is going to explain the treatment plan to us because we've only had a very rough outline of what to expect so far.

We've arranged the care rota so that if all goes well we will have the embryo transfer just before my next stint which gives me a bit of time now to concentrate on treatment and nest building which is my new positive term for working on the building site which is my home.

I'm a bit confused about a 2ww on care duty because I really want to avoid heavy lifting and last week involved a good deal as DPMum is now very very frail and unsteady, thank goodness DP stayed to help. On the plus side I can definitely see the advantage not having time to think too much.

knickyknocks Sat 05-Jan-13 08:05:34

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone on here a happy new year. I really do hope it brings lots of BFPs. It was nice to see my name on the list.
When I was TTC, this thread was so supportive - it was my safe haven to say exactly what I felt. Congratulations to remnant - when you're ready, pop over to the 40 plus thread on the pregnancy talkboard. There's a few familiar names from this thread.
I'm 30 weeks now, a baby boy due date 17th March - 8 eight days before my 41st birthday. I thought it wasn't possible, but there seems to be many many more of us over 40's conceiving - something I've been told throughout my journey. Much love and hope for dreams to come true this year for all of you XX

knickyknocks Sat 05-Jan-13 08:05:34

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone on here a happy new year. I really do hope it brings lots of BFPs. It was nice to see my name on the list.
When I was TTC, this thread was so supportive - it was my safe haven to say exactly what I felt. Congratulations to remnant - when you're ready, pop over to the 40 plus thread on the pregnancy talkboard. There's a few familiar names from this thread.
I'm 30 weeks now, a baby boy due date 17th March - 8 eight days before my 41st birthday. I thought it wasn't possible, but there seems to be many many more of us over 40's conceiving - something I've been told throughout my journey. Much love and hope for dreams to come true this year for all of you XX

knickyknocks Sat 05-Jan-13 08:09:25

PS a special message to Irish, we started our pregnancy journey together, but sadly weren't able to complete our journey together. I hope that dreams come true for you this year for you. Hugs XX

knickyknocks Sat 05-Jan-13 08:09:25

PS a special message to Irish, we started our pregnancy journey together, but sadly weren't able to complete our journey together. I hope that dreams come true for you this year for you. Hugs XX

quickdowntonson Sat 05-Jan-13 09:12:22

Thank you all for the lovely welcome. I'm reading through the thread ( thankfully this one is still quite new) to 'get to know' you all.
Irish- my DS was born in jan 1998, and my dd the following December the same year, so they're not in the same school year, which is a blessing as they are very competitive with each other. Funny though, they were both born on the 18th of the month, both 4 days before the edd. They are very close, so I do slightly worry that when (if!!) we have dc3, s/he may be lonely.
Reading your posts, I am truly humbled by the suffering / lossesthat some of you have been through, amazing you can be so stoical.x
Hello to all the other newbies!

CaliBee Sat 05-Jan-13 09:27:23

Hello to much going on here.
First of all I just want to give my love to jbrd...your ordeal sounds like a complete nightmare. I hope you are ok x

Woohoo to sparkly and remnant on your BFP's...I havent missed anybody have I???

So many lovely. Hello and welcome to all.

Well my nightmare is still ongoing. I had HCG levels taken last Monday and Wednesday. They were 11000 and 15000 respectively so not quite the 60% they look for, however the nurse did say that once they get to >10000 it can take up to 4 days for the increase. Anyway I have a scan on Monday afternoon which should tell us what we so need to know. Sadly DP will be back to barracks on Sunday so I will be going alone.
I am trying to stay positive but struggling if I'm honest. My mood is in my boots and I'm irritable and snappy and have no energy whatsoever.

Morien Sat 05-Jan-13 10:03:09

I was just having a quick read before rushing off to the hairdresser's - wasn't planning to post but couldn't not say something to you, calibee, just to offer some sympathy. I'm so sorry you're faced with DP going away as well - that must make everything even harder. Will be thinking of you on Monday.

Diege Sat 05-Jan-13 10:16:28

Oh Calibee I have everything crossed for you. Hopefully you'll get some much needed answers on Monday. The fact that your hcg is increasing is very positive, and I'm presuming the spotting has stopped now? Will be thinking of you x
*Remnant what brilliant news! And very clever getting a bfp when you did too grin
Tina Things sound positive - not long now until your scan too x
Welcome to all the newbies - great to see the thread so busy.
Sorry I've not name checked, not much time this morning but just wanted to say hello. Also thanks for the migraine meds advice Irish - will def try that one before going to GP. They are now fortnightly, if not more frequent. Usually triggered by hormones (first day of period) or stress, but the last few seem to have come out of no-where confused.
Love to al xxx

twentythirteen Sat 05-Jan-13 11:27:22

Hi, can I join you? I had my 3rd mc/mmc in in November but time waits for no womb, and I'm 40, so we're forging ahead. Luckily my body has sprung back in to action really quickly this time so today is cd 7 (gulp).

twentythirteen Sat 05-Jan-13 11:31:40

Ps, does anyone else feel like they are on a horrific treadmill?

Cd count, dpo count, cd count, dpo count, bfp (Woo!), mc, wait, wait, wait, cd count, dpo count, cd count, dpo count, Bfp (woo), mc, wait, wait, cd....

CaliBee Sat 05-Jan-13 12:25:48

Thankyou morien and diege x
No more bleeding atall....infact apart from slight bloody discharge whilst wiping(and I mean slight) a week last Friday and even lesson the Sunday....infact I dont think I would have noticed had I not have been looking for it.....i have had nothing. I guess had I not even asked if there was a chance of a scan for reassurance whilst talking to the out of hours triage nurse, I may not have even known at this point. DP has banned me from googling as the outcome seems to be so varied for this scenario. I'm not really a religious or praying type.....but hey, I have prayed over the last week.

Hello to twentythirteen.......oh my, yes that little rap sounds familiar (maybe we could do something for youtube). My other half went up North with the army at the end of October and before that I was an obsessive mess of counting, charting, checking cm etc. When he went away I felt a bit despondent and put all my ttc tools away accept for thermometer (but only around ov time) and opk sticks. I went ahead with my first round of clomid thinking I would just see what my reaction would be (I had been having varying length cycles of between 28-46 days since ttc) and hey presto first month BFP...very lucky timing with DP homefor just 36 hours. I'm just waiting now (dates from lmp make me 7 weeks but prob slightly less due to ov around day 16-18) to see if my little bean is actually growing in there.

NewPatchesForOld Sat 05-Jan-13 12:32:01

Yes, definitely a treadmill although this is only cycle 3 for me.

I have a definite feeling I could get a bfp this month...with my 3 dc I knew virtually straight away that I was pg, as silly as it sounds almost from the moment of conception. I'm now approx 3dpo and this morning had the weirdest sensation in my stomach, a kind of fluttering nervous feeling, almost but not
nausea. And last night when I was getting into bed I noticed that my nipples were extremely sensitive and HUGE! I remember having the same sensations when I was pg with my 3dc.
But then I could just be setting myself up for disappointment again. The problem with ttc at 40+ is that we don't have the luxury of time.
Anyway fingers crossed for all of us.


NewPatchesForOld Sat 05-Jan-13 12:34:42

Calibee, I'm keeping everything crossed for you...well not quite everything or there would be no point on being on this thread!

Isabeller Sat 05-Jan-13 12:44:47

Thinking of you CalliBee

greenlizard Sat 05-Jan-13 14:35:07

Hello everyone waves and welcome to all the newbies - I have only been away for a few days and it’s all going on!

Morien & Hopeful – I too am having a weird symptom free month this month! I am CD19 and although I have had a +ve OPK every month for the previous 4 months at or around day 12 or 13 I haven’t had one at all this month. I had my first test results done this cycle that said my FSH and LH were good so not sure why I wouldn’t ovulate. Anyway as I didn’t know if/when I was going to ovulate my DP and I have been going at it for days! (14 times so far – DP is worn out but soldering on!) As we have been travelling about over Xmas and new year I am not sure my temps are going to be reliable (as well as varying waking times there has been naughty alcohol consumption and late nights) FF thinks that I O’d early on day 10 - which would mean I am currently 9DPO. Funny thing is that my temps did drop on day 4/5 DPO and have now gone back up again and yesterday I had pinky blood on the toilet paper when I wiped but then it disappeared – thought I might have imagined it? Obviously, I have now convinced myself this is implantation dip/bleeding and am planning to do a test tomorrow – or should I wait?? confused I wish there was a hand wringing symbol! I have no other symptoms except my boobs feel bigger (but to be fair I have put on quite a lot of weight over Christmas so just being a bit fat is probably the reason smile). I am having my day 21 bloods taken on Monday so I guess that will show if I have ovulated….Anyone experienced no ovulating on a month before?

My New Year resolution is to look after myself better (less work stress, better food and less of it, I am off the booze and plan to do more exercise) I did a 2 mile run the other morning and it nearly killed me! Last October I could run 10k in under an hour so I need to get off my behind and start training again… good luck all you C25K’ers. It is a great programme- stick with it and you will be really surprised how quickly your fitness improves.

Congratulations to Remnant – wow! What a lovely surprise – I am sure you DH will come round to the idea especially when he finds out you were already there when he changed his mind.

I am thinking of you Calibee, Jbrd and Sparkly.


Diege Sat 05-Jan-13 22:06:17

That does sound hopeful Greenlizard. I'm not surprised though with all that action - 14 times shock - in how many days? If you're not pregnant it's certainly not through lack of trying grin Not had any knowledge persoanally here of non-ovulation, though apparetly we all have annovulatory cycles at least once a year so I've read. I'd give it another day or two before testing as if the spotting were implantation, it would be at leats 48hrs before any hcg was released into your wee. Very exiciting!
Well, just as we thought ds2 had a brilliant immune system and had somehow avoided the pox from ds1, he has some very suspicious looking spots tonight - about 2.5 weeks after ds1 first developed his spots...Brilliant timing with work next week and job interview too, but will have to muddle through. He seems well in himself and who knows maybe the spots will have gone in the morning <deluded>
Off for an early night - love to all xxx

hopefulgum Sat 05-Jan-13 22:45:32

It is lovely to hear from you Calibee. I hope your scan brings wonderful news. I think the fact that your HCG is climbing is really good.

Well, Newpatches and Greenlizard, I do hope you both get bfp's. What a great start to our new thread! We've got loads of newbies and already one BFP. Bring on more,I saygrin

Finally at 8 dpo, I am starting to get some breast tenderness. However,although my temperatures are above coverline, they are still not very high. I have mixed feelings : "I'm probably not pregnant", and "maybe I am seeings it all feels different this month". I also had very vivid dreams, and tonnes of them,last night, which is sometimes an indicator for me. But,hey ho, just have to sit it out and wait and see.

Hi twentythirteen - your rap does sound familiar. I found the waiting between the miscarriage and getting AF and ovulating again the most excruciating. After the loss, and the grief, you just want to crack on and try again. The tww is no fun, but it's not that unknown,interminable wait like after a miscarriage.

I am so sorry for your losses.

There does seem to be a lot of loss when ttc after 40, but, there are also so many new babies - as Knickyknocks said. I can't believe you are 30 weeks already. Congratulations on your little boy. How lovely for you. I so look forward to being at that stage one day, confident enough to start thinking of names and buying clothes for the little one.

Deige, sorry you are battling with the kids being sick. It's a merry-go-round! I hope you'll be able to juggle it all, and that your job interview goes well. Is the job close to home?

Isabeller, it is very exciting that your transfer is close. Will you still be able to do the C25K training during the 2ww?

I'm still doing it, though my knees and ankles are really making a fusshmmToday I will strap them before I go to see if it helps. When I start the jogging bit I am quite often struggling to get my legs to behave, and end up doing a shuffle (I must look ridiculous). But I so love the idea that I might actually be able to do it without struggling, running the whole 5 kms at the end of 9 weeks, feeling fit,and maybe even losing some weight, that I am motivated to keep it up. The only thing that might stop me is getting pregnant.

Hi grin to everyone, so nice to have so much action on our thread!

JBrd Sat 05-Jan-13 23:04:38

CaliBee - oh, I so know how you are feeling now, this is complete deja vu! I have everything crossed for you, wishing you a sticky bean! Do you really have no one to go with you to the scan? I really really would not recommend going alone... My DH couldn't come to my first scan, but a friend offered to go with me, and I'm so glad she was there. DH was there for the second scan (when we had the good news), but when I went in this week to discuss the tissue I had passed, he couldn't come with me because we had DS with us, and they didn't allow children on the ward because of the Norovirus. So DH had to wait with him outside. Even though I had been prepared for the worst, it would have been easier to cope with the news if he had been there. The nurse and doctor were lovely (the nurse gave me a hug), but still...

Hello to all the newbies, welcome to the thread! They are lovely here, and full of wisdom in all matters ttc.

remnant and sparkly, how are you feeling? I can highly recommend the 40+ pregnancy thread, if you have not already found your way there. Lovely people there, too.

I'm still a bit wobbly, having good days and bad days. Yesterday was quite good, I was quite active - for me, that often means baking, I find it highly therapeutic and so enjoyable. Now I have a huge white chocolate mud cake sitting in the kitchen that I will struggle to get rid off - any takers? I'm doing Weight Watchers, and DH doesn't like cake very much.... Will try freezing it. Or give to DH to take into work on Monday.
Today, unfortunately, I felt really rough again. I am still/again bleeding, and I think the level of my tiredness is linked to that. I bled much less yesterday than today, when I felt like something the cat has regurgitated. Not sure that the iron tables are helping very much, but it's difficult to say. But I've been bleeding on and off for over 3 weeks now, it's bound to have an effect.

I have decided to most likely take next week off work, or at least parts of it... If I feel like today, there is absolutely no point in going in. DS will be back at the childminder, so I will be able to get plenty more rest. Which is all that I want at the moment.

notsoold Sun 06-Jan-13 00:47:48

Remnant... Congratulations to you!!! Excellent timing!

Lotsofcheese...a girl!!! My oldest is my dd and they are good are the boys!!! Very good of you to not blurb to dh!

Hi to new patches and little as well as quick ( waving and introducing myself)
Isabeller hope everything goes ok!!!

Calibee I don't profess to understand what is happening with you but offer my hand( offering hand in unmumsnet manner)

Jbrd thinking of you

Diege...sorry about your dc!!! Pox???

Gum hi there!!!

And hi to all of you...waiting for my AF as we only dtd on day 9 any my peak on cbfm was on day dh is better but af due in 3 out of the race this month!!!

notsoold Sun 06-Jan-13 00:48:28

Jbrd send the cake my way smile xxx

sparklysapphire Sun 06-Jan-13 02:05:18

Wow, remant, congratulations, it'll be lovely to have company smile I very much hope your DP comes round sooner than mine, because he hasn't yet.

Calibee, I have everything crossed that you get good news on Monday.
How lovely to have knicky & cheese pop in with your pregnancy news. Tina, glad everything seems to be ok, how can your 20 week scan be just a couple of weeks away?

JBrd, I'm not surprised you're tired, time off work sounds very sensible (and the cake sounds delicious!). Thanks for the over-40s pregnancy thread tip, but I'm not sure I'm confident enough to venture on there yet!

Diege, I hope your DS2 does manage to avoid the pox, or has it very mildly, and you can soon get back to being a totally healthy house!

Welcome patches, pixie, soopermum, quick, calendargal, twentythirteen, row, I hope I haven't missed anyone, it's great to have so many newbies on the thread.

Thanks again, ladies, for your support and good wishes. At the moment, I don't feel like I'm going to have a baby, more like I'm expecting a miscarriage - nothing to back that up with apart from the stats at this age, but I think it's at least as likely as a baby. I lost my 1st pregnancy at 11+ weeks, when I thought it was safe, so I know how far there is to go. As remnant says, unless & until I'm safely through the scans/amnio (if necessary), I won't believe it's actually going to happen. I'm also a bit worried because apart from sore boobs and still some cramping, I don't have any other symptoms - no nausea, which I had with DD, though wasn't actually sick, and no more tired than usual, I don't think. Also the week before Christmas, I had a stomach bug, which may have been Norovirus, which I caught from DD - she spent a day vomiting anything she ingested, and then I had the following day - it only lasted about 8 hours, the purging bit, but I don't think that can have been good at such an early stage.
This is the "me, me, me" bit, sorry:
DH is not coming round. I wouldn't have told him with MIL staying (she finally went home on Thursday morning), but as it was Christmas, and I'd normally be drinking, I felt I had too. I told him on Boxing night, and he had the meltdown the following day, when he told me that he'd decided over the previous two weeks, he definitely didn't want to have another baby. We have not discussed it since. Thursday was mostly ok, Friday he was definitely more withdrawn. He's working away overnight tonight, and when I said "I love you" at the end of our phone call he just said ok, when he usually reciprocates, which had me in floods of tears when I came off the phone. When I told him, 11 months ago, after months of dithering because I didn't know how he'd react, that I wanted another child, one of things he said was that he'd like to share the pregnancy which he absolutely didn't last time. I went through it with no support from him - I even had to go to NCT classes on my own, when everyone else had their DP with them. Everyone kept saying that he'd come round and he didn't until DD was born. I don't want to live in fear of losing him for the next few months - again. I think we'll have to talk tomorrow, as I'm on nights next week, which otherwise rules it out til at least Thursday. His week has filled up so the only day he's not working is Wednesday and I don't think it's sensible for me to go the GP between nights, as I'm usually tired and incoherent when I get home. Thank you for your patience if you've got this far, I appreciate a place to rant.

love to everyone, especially if you're on the 2ww, and enjoy your Sunday.

hopefulgum Sun 06-Jan-13 03:39:20

Oh Sparkly bear. Big ((hugs)). What a horrible time you are having. Your DP really needs to try to be mature about this and be there to support you. I know he feels it is overwhelming, but to shut you out is so hurtful. Will he go to marriage counseling with you? It is just not fair to have zero support and so much worry about losing him while you are pregnant.

I really understand the bit about finding it hard to believe there will be a baby until after the scans etc. Til then, remember, for today you are pregnant,and take good care of yourself.

Jbrd, I hope the iron helps. Do you make stock or bone broth? In Chinese Medicine it is considered a great tonic after blood loss - but needs to be homemade with chicken bones and vegetables. Add a dash of vinegar to help excrete the minerals from the bones. It is supposed to help.

wylie05 Sun 06-Jan-13 05:57:53

Hello again, still lurking! Glad that Gum has started the new thread. Thank you for putting me on the list. jBrd I hope you are ok, I find baking therapeutic too but usually end up eating the cake! Calibee I hope everything goes well. Sparkly I'm so sorry you are feeling like this and your husband is being distant about the new baby. I have no advice to offer other than to send you my very best and positive vibes and to take each day as it comes.

Nice to see so many newbies!

I had the weirdest cycle last month of 44 days and now at 21 DPO this time I don't think I have ovulated. I am putting this down to stress as I have had to come to NZ for the Christmas holidays and I find my husbands family a bit of a challenge, bit like Sparkly's my MIL kind of takes control of everything but they don't think like I do and it's hard trying to second guess the best thing to do with people so different. I am not really TTC this month because of this but it's at the back of my mind as usual.

Best wishes everyone, sorry for not naming everyone. Happy New Year!

hopefulgum Sun 06-Jan-13 10:00:52

wylie, 21 DPO, have you tested? When you say 21 DPO, do you think you ovulate on a particular day? It's definitely worth testing - who knows, you might have a little holiday passenger on board?smile However, it wouldn't surprise me if stress puts your ovulation off, especially stayong with in-laws, that can't be easy!

Just when I said I was practically symptomless, at 8 DPO, I am now riddled with symptoms. Suddenly my biscuit biscuit's are feeling full and tender, I am feeling a bit nauseous here and there (but so do my DS and DH, though they are sicker than I feel), plus a metallic taste in my mouth and can seem to smell everything strongly. So now I am feeling extremely mildly optimistic [crazyladyemoticon]

remnant Sun 06-Jan-13 10:50:45

hopeful fingers crossed that it is your month
calibee glad to hear it could still be good news for you
sparkly very sorry about your dh, surely he understood that this could happen if you were having sex? surely he should take some responsibility? would he go to talk it over with someone? with or without you? I still haven't worked up courage to say anything to dh here. He's being very sweet atm and I'm terrified he'll be really negative. In fact I know he will be. I'm just not sure if he'll come round afterwards. I am coming round to the idea i should tell him sooner rather than later. I think it will only make it worse if I don't. I was thinking of giving it a week or so to see if it turned into an early mc, but since I wouldn't want to keep that from him I suppose I should say something soon. hmm
jbrd hope you put your cake to good use. Sounds like you're doing really well
diege hope you get a break from the migraines and spots

must dash now, i have a date with ds to make blueberry muffins

greenlizard Sun 06-Jan-13 10:56:30

Ooooh hopeful or crazylady if you perfer? grin that sounds quite, well, hopeful! How long is your luteral phase normally?

This morning I experienced quite a sharp drop in temperature followed by a bloomin' smiley face on my OPK...on Day 20!!! DP and I have been giving the worlds rabbits a run for their money over the last week and half and the one day that DP has taken his kids away I get a sodding smiley face 8 sodding days late! aghhhhh! The spotting must have been from dtd too much wink. I feel like I have AF type cramps in my lower abdoment and twinges on my left and right - which could all be in my head to be fair - I am not sure what is going on. Am I the only person to do a HPT and and OPK on the same day? - ha [evencrazierladyemoticon] The lines on my FF graph have gone off in huff as it clearly can't interpret my chart any more......

I was due to have my 21 day progesterone test tomorrow but I am guessing I should push that back by a week? Anyone got any ideas?

greenlizard Sun 06-Jan-13 11:04:20

Sparkly your DH reaction to your current and DD pregnancy sounds complicated rather than just an overreaction - has he ever talked about why he feels this way? It is important that you get some support during this difficult time and not just for your pregnancy (which obviously is important too). I really hope your DH can help and support you in time but sounds like he needs to help on his own. If you DH doesn't want to discuss things with someone did you know that you can go to Relate on your own?

I went when my ex and I were having problems. Initially he said he wanted to go and actually made the appointment but then actually refused to go, so I went on my own. I can honestly say that it was a lifesaver for me - it was simply brilliant. They do charge (but only if you can afford it) and for me it was the best money ever spent. Just a thought.


sparklysapphire Sun 06-Jan-13 12:14:47

remnant, if you do decide to tell DH sooner rather than later, I very much hope he'll be more positive than you think. We both miserable at the moment, and it's horrible. I did tell DH the chances of a pregnancy were relatively low at my age, but definitely not out of the question, so he knew it could happen. Sending you positive vibes.

ooh hopeful - sounds promising? Thank you for your kind words, and wylie too, I sympathise about your in-laws, it's really tricky when they have completely different ideas/thought processes about what's important and what's not.

greenlizard, I think you're right about DH's reaction being complicated and not just an overreaction. It's almost like he has a phobia of pregnancy, maybe that's a bit strong, but it does seem quite extreme. He had counselling last time. Thanks for the tip about Relate, I will definitely consider it, I think talking is the first step then getting to the doctors this week.

NewPatchesForOld Sun 06-Jan-13 13:38:27

Either I am pg or menopausal...I had to strip off while sitting at the dining table this morning, came over all hot and faint and nauseous...couldn't get my arm out of my dressing gown and was panicking I felt so bad, lol...the kids just looked at me like I was mad!

And DD1 has just cooked quorn bacon and the smell is making me feel really sick, usually I like the smell but this morning it's making me want to hurl.

Again I know I am symptom spotting, but it's impossible not to.

Hope you're all well


NewPatchesForOld Sun 06-Jan-13 16:02:45

aaarrgghh...I'm also VERY quick tempered today which is SO unlike me, I am normally very placid and easy going, but not today. It's horrible.

hopefulgum Sun 06-Jan-13 22:11:34

Newpatches, how many days post ovulation are you? If it is more than 10 I insist you pee on a stick! Those symptoms sound so likelygrin

I am back to feeling pessimistic. My temperature, though taken half an hour early, is just not very high. I would expect higher temps if I were pregnant. Time will tell. 9 DPO today, don't want to test for a couple of more days, or not at all if the temps keeps nose-diving.

Remnant and Sparkly, I'm not sure what I'll do if I get a bfp. Last time I didn't tell DH, I think I knew it wasn't going to last, and it was a very early miscarriage. I was upset, but nothing like with the other miscarriages, so was able to carry on as per normal. My DH had no idea. I still feel I'd do the same again, I just don't want the added angst and negativity (because I know he won't be over the moon like I will) in the early days. But everyone has to do what is right for their situation. Who knows what I'll do if/when I get a bfp. I will feel like it's a miracle and that's how I'll put it to my DH. He knows we are having unprotected sex, that there's a possibility, but he believes it is a one in a million possibility - like a miracle- so that's my approach hmm I wonder if he realises that 1% is actually better odds that 1 in a million! grin

NewPatchesForOld Sun 06-Jan-13 22:23:25

Hopeful, if I ov'd on time I will be 4 or 5 dpo...but my cycles have been pretty irregular lately, so could have been earlier. I have a whole wad of cheapie internet tests so may give in and see. How are you feeling? X

Isabeller Sun 06-Jan-13 23:20:14

I think I'll have to stop C25K if we get as far as embryo transfer at the end of the month hopeful but probably good to keep going till then. I hope the clinic will give us a lot more information tomorrow. The whole thing seems so unreal I am taking things one week or even one day at a time.

Warm wishes to all and goodbye seasonal hats wink as I take down the tinsel x smile

hopefulgum Sun 06-Jan-13 23:54:47

Isabeller, I am sad to say I have to have a break from the C25K because my knees are hurting so much. I a disappointed, but I will let them get better, then try again with better shoes and see how I go.

It sure is exciting about the embryo transfer. I have everything crossed for you.

Newpatches, I'm not feeling very hopeful, not very symptomatic, but it is early in the day and I tend to have more symptoms later on. When I am preggers I always get the sickness around 4 -5 pm, not in the morning. I don't want to be too hopeful, as I don't like the disappointment.

NewPatchesForOld Mon 07-Jan-13 08:45:27

Aarrgghh...what a night. I don't think I slept for more than an hour and that was in fits and starts. I'm soooo tired this morning, had to get up early as it's back to school today, I feel sick, have a headache and just want to sleep. I'm not sure what kept me awake - I have a back condition and that was very painful in the night every time I moved, but I just could not drop off. Felt very resentful of DP for being blissfully asleep all night, lol.
How are you all doing this morning?
Hopeful hope you are feeling more positive today?

Diege Mon 07-Jan-13 08:58:18

If it's any concolation patches I had a rotten night too - poor ds2's chicken pox spots were making him very distressed and he was awake pretty much through 1 to 6am. Luckily I'm working from home today, with 2 dcs not back in school until tomorrow. Really hope I get a good sleep before interview on weds - my mind doesn;t run very fast when I'm tired grin
FIngers crossed gum on the month'y rollarcoaster. It is indeed very early days. ON the running front I got a knee injury after overtraining many years ago ('runner's knee') and wearing out the stuff that coats the patella. The advice I was given was to strengthen the surrounding muscles, so quads basically, and that cycling was an excellent way to do this in a low-impact fashion. Might this be an option? And of course yes good shoes (and socks!).
Taking down the tinsel here too Isabeller - thank god I say grin
Love to all <yawns>

Diege Mon 07-Jan-13 08:58:55

'consolation' blush

greenlizard Mon 07-Jan-13 10:30:13

Morning all

Sorry to all those who had rotten nights. Diege hope your little one feels better soon - chicken pox is miserable. Patches I hope you are pregnant and that is the cause of your symptoms (which will make them worthwhile). Thinking of you today Calibee - I have everything cross able crossed for you.

Hopeful - don't give up hope yet and excellent advice on the cycling front. I got some good advice once which was there is no such thing as over training but there is such a thing as under resting! Maybe you need to take more rest between training days to build up your muscles around your joints. Also getting the right trainers is very important to prevent injury.

I am very confused by what is going on with my cycle. I am now CD21 and got my first positive OPK yesterday (my DP rushed home to DTD with me). Thing is I have been cramping since yesterday and had pinching in what feels like both left and right ovaries and had dull ache on my back. I was spotting yesterday pinkish blood and still am today (enough to use a panty liner). I used my last CB OPK this morning and it malfunctioned annoyingly so I can't see if I would get another smiley face this morning. I have also had another drop in temperature to the same level whilst on my previous period....I am worried that I have actually got my AF 7 days early sad. I was supposed to go for my 21 progesterone test today but am not sure if I should go given its such a weird cycle....

Does anyone have any idea as to what might be gong on??

hopefulgum Mon 07-Jan-13 11:12:33

Hi Greenlizard - is it possible that you ovulated early? Could your positive opk actually be a + preg test ( an opk will come up + if you are pregnant)?I only say this because the spotting could be implantation bleeding ( a drop in temperature can also happen with implantation). I would be very surprised if AF is turning up a day after + opk. That would be really odd. If indeed you are getting AF, then you could have had an annovulatory cycle, but with the + opk, that seems unlikely. Sounds strange, but I would do a pregnancy test just in case. I'm really not sure about the progesterone blood test - it would be pointless if indeed you are only ovulating now (incidentally, I have heard of ovulation spotting too).

Sorry if I'm not much help, just trying to cover all contingencies. Hopefully things will be clear soon.

As for the running, I think I will try a few more rest days, perhaps go cycling or swimming in the interim, get some good shoes and try again.

Deige - you really are having a bad run, you poor thing. You must be so tired.
Hopefully you will get a couple of good night's sleep before your interview.

Newpatches, I often get insomnia when I'm in the very early stages of pregnancy - do you?? As for my symptoms - I have felt sick on and off all day and tired,plus sore boobs, but DH and DS had a tummy bug in the last few days, so could be that (although I seem to feel fine inbetween bouts of nausea). I had a lovely quiet afternoon, using my "illness" as an excuse to lay on the couch and watch Dickens' "The Mystery of Edwin Drood", I have to admit to loving all his stories.Meanwhile DH took DD and DS to swimming lessons whilst my DD1 (almost 16) did the weekly grocery shopping! Lovely.smileDH even brought a bunch of flowers home - very unexpected.

I really hope I am feeling off colour for a really good reason. A couple more days then I'll test depending on how my temperatures look. They often nose dive around 12 dpo.

littlepinkfizz Mon 07-Jan-13 13:49:03

Sounds like a BFP is on its way gum!

Don't know what is happening to me. Had AF but really sore boobs and they r definitely bigger. Wish it wasn't a true AF, but although it was a little lighter, it was still AF!

Any ideas why my poor boo boos are being puffed up and out? ( not that I don't want the extra volume in my bra) but I'd rather it were a sign of pregnancy. biscuit biscuit

CaliBee Mon 07-Jan-13 16:05:24

A super fast flyby with update....
Scan today showed development of a yolk sac from last weeks empty sac and the sac has grown in line with development...but still no baby seen . The nurse is trying to be positive I think, and I have to return for another scan in a fortnight (oh god its gonna kill me).
Forgive me for not namechecking...but I am watching excitedly at developments x

JBrd Mon 07-Jan-13 16:14:29

<<big hug>> CaliBee

twentythirteen Mon 07-Jan-13 16:16:29

Dropping in to say hi, thanks for the welcome, a cycle rap on you tube of a bunch of 40+ ladies sounds hilarious! Can we say Yo and do hand gestures and posturing?

I miscalculated - maybe that should be added to the rap? - and am only cd 8 today. I've been opk testing daily though since shortly after the mc just to keep an eye on things. Hopeful have you tested yet? I def had positive opks when the hormones were still in my system. Afm, Normally I get a lead up of faint lines and so far it is very clearly a negative so I'm now worried I won't actually be ovulating this month (add worry to the rap). It's all so silly isn't it, these bodies. When I last got pg I ovulated on cd 10, could so easily have missed it... just realised that would have been preferable!

I like the new years resolution to look after yourself better... oops, forgot now who said that! blush I've stepped back from everything I can at work. Luckily I'm thought of as a diligent, hardworker so I am hoping I can rest on my laurels a bit.

Sparkly, that certainly sounds tough re your OH. Because he said he wanted one thing but then did another when your bfp pitched up it made me think about attachement styles, they can kick in and override our best intentions.

The use of biscuitbiscuit on here made me laugh! Mine are flat as a pancake after too much yo-yoing these last 12 months!

Greenlizard what a confusing cycle, am sending you my sympathy.

twentythirteen Mon 07-Jan-13 16:19:54

Wow Calibee, I won't pester you for details everyone else probably already knos, just wanted to add fx for you!

greenlizard Mon 07-Jan-13 16:20:12

Oh Calibee - that sounds like positive news. The waiting must be torture for you but keep hoping and we will all hope with you.

My spotting has now turned into proper bleeding and painful cramps. Looks like AF has come inexplicably early (cd21) and 1 day after my lonely solitary positive OPK. I am feeling really emotionally wobbly (not good thing at work) .....still if it is my AF I am back in the game in about 7days.

Good luck everyone waiting - we need more bfp's!,,,

remnant Mon 07-Jan-13 16:28:05

wow calibee, how frustrating, but quite easily good news right? These 'babies' are pretty tiny at this stage right? I would have thought easily missed. Hope you had someone with you, apart from all of us in spirit x

greenlizard, as hopeful said, an positive opk at end of a cycle can mean a bfp....? It's very true that travelling etc can disrupt routines, but ds1 was conceived while I was away when I least expected it.

patches, fwiw I had a completely sleepless night on boxing day night, 5dpo

hopeful thanks for your comments on sharing news of a miracle. I still haven't found the words yet blush but I am enjoying the peace

remnant Mon 07-Jan-13 16:29:02

greenlizard, just read your update, sorry!

NewPatchesForOld Mon 07-Jan-13 16:35:01

Calibee, so glad the news has been more positive today, I was thinking of you today.
As for me I have been flaked out on the settee all afternoon, absolutely shattered..hardly surprising after my insomnia.
Hopeful, I honestly can't remember whether I suffered insomnia with my previous pgs, but I feel wretched today.
Deige...sorry about your night, chicken pox can be hellish, poor thing. Hope you have a better night tonight.

Irishmammybread Mon 07-Jan-13 18:02:58

Just popped on while I'm getting tea to see if CaliBee had posted, I'm so glad you have more positive news. Two weeks feels like a long time to wait though, I'd be tempted to have a sneaky private scan before that I think, but I'm not very patient!

greenlizard it is frustrating to have a weird cycle, but as you say when AF comes it's the start of a new cycle to aim for. I find there is a real pattern to my moods,disappointment when AF comes,resignation(and consolation with a nice glass of wine!), then anticipation at the thought of trying again, stress about timing dtd, a sense of achievement and relief if we time things well around ovulation so a short period of relaxation but then mounting stress again as the 2ww progresses.... and then it starts all over again!

twenty that idea about a ttc rap on you tube is brilliant but can you imagine how embarassed any older DC would be !

Deige hope everyone is recovering and you're managing to prepare for your interview.

Isabeller hope your appointment today went well.

gum am waiting for updates from you ,any more symptoms?

I'm on cd15 now. DH has now gone away for this week ,we dtd fri,sat,sun morning and I've had a little ewcm over the last few days but ironically loads today. I had a positive opk (I think) yesterday but another positive that developed really quickly today so I'm wondering if I'll ovulate late this cycle again , very frustrating as there's nothing I can do about it!

Hi to everyone else.

CaliBee Mon 07-Jan-13 19:03:04

Thankyou ladies for your kind thoughts....much appreciated.
I have of course been googling (bloody lethal) and have found that the development of a yolk sac does mean that true diagnosis of a blighted ovum is out and that generally a yolk sac does not develop without an embryo. Of course that does not mean that it is a viable pregnancy either.....
irish private scan did cross my mind but will probably wait it out. £75 is a hefty sum in January.
I do confess to popping to Boots on my home frome the hospital and stocking up on supersized sanitary towels (lord I hate those things) ...just in case. I feel being prepared for the worst scenario will make it a little easier to bear should it happen....particularly as I would be alone with DP back at Catterick.
hopeful so excited for you, it sounds...well Hopeful [smile]
diege how are you all doing now in the poorly household?
lizard...raaa to af.
Sorry for not namechecking everyone...its a busy thread just now...and if I'm honest my mind is proper ----- fill in the blanks.

Morien Mon 07-Jan-13 19:28:51

CaliBee, that does sound like good news - I'm really pleased. And preparing for the worst isn't going to make the worst happen. When will you see DP again?

hopeful, can't wait for you to test!

glizard, grrrr to AF if that's what it is - but bizarrely early, no? But as someone's already said, the arrival of AF means a new cycle to feel optimistic about - I've been surprised to find that's how it works for me, anyway.

Speaking of which, still no AF here and it's now CD33. Last week I told myself that if it got to Monday I'd test, but I haven't because I don't feel at all pg and I don't want a BFN for nothing. Also, DP's got man-flu not well & just in case it is a BFP I'd rather everything were stacked in my favour so he might (this time) express just a little bit of joy.

patches, diege, hope you both sleep better tonight!

CaliBee Mon 07-Jan-13 19:54:34

morien...not sure when DP can get home again. They now have some weekends off but its an expensive and long train journey to take too often. He has just said they may get a week off in February though...
I'm trying to not get my hopes raised too much...good news will feel even better then. I'm a bit concerned that my symptoms are waining a little too. Have had the odd wave of nausea but not much and my boobs are much less sore than they were.

NewPatchesForOld Mon 07-Jan-13 20:19:00

Calibee...that's rough having him away so much. But you have all of us grin.

Morien...I will be beside myself if I don't sleep tonight. I have told the older DCs that I will be going to bed early tonight, and DP that there will be no action whatsoever!

I took a lungful of cigarette smoke today whilst walking in town and momentarily felt really nauseated. But that could be down to the tiredness...I don't function well without sleep. I also have this really weird prickling sensation on my face and neck, like someone is sticking sharp pins into my skin! I've never had anything like that before but it's driving me nutty.

I want sleeeeepppppppp

hopefulgum Mon 07-Jan-13 21:41:42

Godd Morning all! It is only 5.50 am here. I woke up feeling really hot, which I think is due to the hot weather we are still having. I can't wait for a cool break. I took a test because I am 10 DPO (so still early days) and it was starkly negative. So I am at the stage of preparing myself for AF, but still hopeful that I could get a later bfp.

Calibee, so sorry the roller-coaster ride is still happening, but it certainly sounds hopeful. Try not to worry about the waning symptoms, they do have a tendency to do that just make us worry during early pregnancy.

Newpatches, things sound very positive for you. I hope you get a bfp this time.

Morien, I can't believe you haven't tested yet!shock C'mon, put me out of my misery and test!!smile

NewPatchesForOld Mon 07-Jan-13 21:48:49

Hi hopeful, you're just getting up and I'm just off to bed.
I've had a lot of cm tonight, creamy in fact I thought af had come as it was so abundant.
I can't remember the 2ww being so hellish before!

notsoold Mon 07-Jan-13 22:54:30

Hi all and Calibee I am thinking of you with all this wait!!!
Today was my due date and it was quite difficult. sad
I have a question and hope someone can help me, please??? I have done my firsy cycle on the cbfm . my af arrived this afternoon so I should press the "m" button tomorrow right??? And then press as day 1 or 2???

Isabeller Mon 07-Jan-13 23:09:10

Appointment went well treatment explained in detail, really appreciate all the good wishes. Lots of hurdles to get over on the way to ET let alone new family member so trying to keep feet on ground. xx Is

Irishmammybread Mon 07-Jan-13 23:29:48

notsoold your due date is a really difficult day to get through,did you do anything special to mark the occasion? I hope you had support . It probably didn't help AF arriving too!
I don't feel that my miscarriages are something I'll ever get over fully and sometimes little things hit you out of the blue and the feelings of loss come flooding back. Significant dates are a reminder of the loss. I found it hard to get through my edd in Oct and I have another the start of Feb and then the middle of March but I hope the pain becomes easier as time goes on.
Thinking of you xxx
Sorry but I don't know anything about the cbfm!

Isabeller sounds like everything is moving along towards your ET. What happens next?

gum sorry you got a BFN but hopefully it's just too early to test.

patches hope you get a good night sleep. I'm also confused by cm at the moment!

Morien I can't believe you haven't poas yet!

notsoold Mon 07-Jan-13 23:48:39 dh took me to the seaside as it has been always a special place to us. For me particularly meant that although a ocean separates me from my country I am still a Brazilian girl the same is with the lo...the ocean separates us but I am still the lo's mother....
Peace to you in the coming months xx

sparklysapphire Tue 08-Jan-13 05:13:33

Calibee, good to hear from you, sounds like your scan yesterday was more promising, but I'm sure waiting 2 weeks for another scan will seem like an eternity.
newpatches & morien, how soon before you test? Good luck! greenlizard that sounds like a very unusual cycle if in fact AF has arrived. If it has though, you're starting again and this will be your month smile. Sorry about the BFN hopeful, maybe it was just too early?
Isabeller, it all sounds very exciting, I hope it all goes smoothly. Notsoold, I hope you are feeling ok, getting through the due date is hard isn't it, but it sounds like you were able to commemorate it (if that's the right word) in a peaceful way.
diege, I hope the chickenpox is subsiding. Have you had your job interview or is it today? I'm on nights so I'm not sure which way is up, but I sympathise with those not sleeping as we had a lousy night on Sunday. And of course now I have to stay up all night.....

It is not going well in our house. We didn't talk on Sunday night, just sat in silence for an hour or so, which partly contributed to the lack of sleep (being visited by DD at 4.45 am didn't help either). DH was barely speaking to me, so we talked before I came to work. I say talked - I'd been in tears on and off all day, and he cried again as well. He says he cannot even look at me, he's struggling to interact with DD - she senses all is not well, even if she can't articulate it, and he cannot say he won't leave us. I love him very much and he loves me, but I don't know how to get through this. He says he's not having counselling again as he felt it was useless last time, and will not consider medication either. He won't come to the doctor's with me. He does not want the baby, and we are both very unhappy at what should be an exciting time. I can't terminate a pregnancy I really want, because I will grow to resent that he made me choose, but if he leaves, what if I resent the baby? I don't want to be a single parent and I don't want to destroy our family unit. But I hate DH being so unhappy, and feel it's my fault for even asking about another child - but if I hadn't I would have lived with the regret for the rest of my life. And we've beeh having unprotected sex for 10 months. I don't want DD to be an only child, I am close to my DB and really value that relationship and I'd like her to have the opportunity to have that. Also, I don't want to be a burden on her when we're old, I want her to have someon to share that with. Because DH is an only child, if MIL develops health problems in her old age, we'll have to deal with it as there will be no-one else. I realise I may not be very coherent, but nights tend to have that effect on me. I don't feel I can talk to anyone in RL at the moment so I really appreciate being able to vent to you lovely ladies. Thank you. SSxx

greenlizard Tue 08-Jan-13 07:07:42

sparkly if it helps you rant away as much as you like. It really does sound extremely difficult time for you (and your DH) and I would urge you to get some support for yourself - it could help clarify your thinking and give you strength. Perhaps your GP could give some advice? Thinking of you.

notsoold that sounds like a lovely way to remember your lost one and well done for making it through and i hope you feel some peace. Let us know how you get on with your CBFM - I am thinking of investing in one (although not sure why as we couldn't have any more sex than we do!)

hopeful really sorry about the bfn - it might well be too early what with all your symptoms. Fx for you and hope you get some respite from the heat (it's raining here's a wonder we don't all have trench foot here in the UK)

morien have you tested yet? Such restraint! patches hope you slept well - have you tested yet?

deige did you (and your ds) sleep well - does he feel better?i think your interview is tomorrow but just in case it is today - good luck!!

My AF has definitely arrived (despite hoping the bleeding would stop and somehow be a weird pregnancy symptom!) bled heavily over night with very sore cramps. The blood is very red (so no brownish blood to start which would be usual) and there have been a few clots. Felt very sorry for myself last night (nearly fell off the wine wagon but resisted). As DP away I indulged myself watching back to back episodes of one born every minute (alternating between being pissed off that some people have babies like shelling peas and crying because it is amazing) DP wont let me watch it as it makes me cry so much but i felt much better after having a bit of a weep on my own in front of the telly. Given weirdness of cycle I am definitely going to try acupuncture and maybe do a bit more yoga.....think my chakras might be out of whack along with my hormones grin

I really hope that someone on our thread gets their bfp soon - if it can't be me this month [sorry selfish moment there!] I want it to be you.

Irishmammybread Tue 08-Jan-13 10:10:05

notsoold ,what a lovely way to remember your lo, and great that your DH shared that time with you. xxx

sparkly you're going through such a horrendous time. I don't think you should feel guilty, you discussed having a baby, your DH agreed,he knew you weren't using contraception ,so how on earth could it be your fault? It's not as though he was deceived in any way. I don't think, whatever the outcome, that you would come to resent the baby but I hope you can resolve things .

greenlizard it's very generous of you to wish everyone else bfps, I know what you mean though, when someone on here gets a bfp it is a boost and makes me think it is possible for the over 40s and maybe I could be next! I think we all know what we're going through aswell so we know how much it means.
I have a love/hate relationship with One Born too and it always reduces me to tears!

NewPatchesForOld Tue 08-Jan-13 10:42:32

Well, slept like a baby last night, but woke at 5 busting for the loo. I did manage another couple of hours afterwards though so feel a lot better than I did yesterday, although still tired and with a banging headache.

It's hard to say when I can test really cycle is all over the place at the moment. If it is 'normal' then I'm only OD+5 so af would be due around 17th. I did have almost immediate symptoms with my other 3 though and knew I was pg long before I tested.

Patience is not my best virtue!

I'm so sorry things are so hard for you at home; like Irishmammy said, you didn't do this alone so it's very unfair on you. If he won't go to the doctors or counselling then you go...go and talk it over with your gp, mw, whoever. And keep talking on here. And for what it's worth, I don't believe you would resent your baby at all, whatever the outcome.

TinaO99 Tue 08-Jan-13 13:03:03

Sparkly I really feel for you, what an absolutely awful time you're going through, I want to knock your dh over the head to knock some sense into him! As others have said it shouldn't have been a surprise to him and it's totally unfair on you. I also agree that I'm sure you won't resent the baby, it's not your fault your dh feels like this, sounds like he's having some sort of a panic attack about the idea of being a father again and he needs some sort of counselling but won't admit it at the moment, I hope for your sake he comes round and realises what a blessing its going to be and gets some help! In the meantime please go to the GP yourself and get some support, I haven't been through quite the same scenario but my dh and I had issues a couple of years ago and he left me for a while, he went through a mid life crisis/breakdown i think and eventually went to the Dr which was the turning point for him, we're great now and have come through it, but it was terrible at the time

On another note did anyone watch 'babymakers' on BBC4 about an NHS fertility clinic last night? Had me almost in tears as it followed 4 or 5 couples going through IVF, it was so sad as only one couple got pregnant the others were devastated, made me think how very lucky I was that both of my embryos took successfully. I also thought that their care seemed a lot poorer than the care and attention I got at a private clinic, I know not everyone has that option and it's certainly beggared us but I wonder if these same couples might have had more success had they been able to go private?

JBrd Tue 08-Jan-13 15:49:46

sparkly So sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds horrible. I agree with Tina and want to slap your DH. Sorry, but he does need to pull himself together and grow up - there's nothing wrong with needing help and asking for it, instead of sticking your head in the sand, which appears is what he is doing!
Easier said than done, I know, I really feel for you - this should be a happy time!

Well, my rollercoaster continues. Just called the EPU to ask about the histology analysis they were going to do with the tissue clot that I brought in last week. Well, they analysed it, and it turns out not to be pregnancy tissue! Apparently, 'just' some sort of blood clot hmm. I mean, WTF?!? Really?!?! The nurse I spoke was very vague, to say the least, asking if I happened to have done a pg test recently. Turns out I did, yesterday, and it was very much still positive. Which I had expected, since it's only really been a week since my miscarriage... If I can still call it that?

So now I'm supposed to do another test in a week's time and call them with the result, and then 'we'll take it from there'.
Argh! And Argh! I don't know what to think now. Apart from that I've really had enough of this whole business and want to know what's going on, for once and for all.
Should I have asked/insisted for another scan?! The whole 'What if...' situation is back on (well, in my head it is), just when I thought I'm starting to pick myself up again.

Irishmammybread Tue 08-Jan-13 16:20:17

JBrd yes,I think you should have another scan, you need to know what's going on one way or the other and I'm sure they'd have a good idea from scanning you even at this stage.
Pregnancy tests can remain positive for a few weeks but what if your little miracle is hanging on in there!
From the EPU's point of view you're probably not coming to any harm physically by waiting but it's mental and emotional turmoil for you.
I would definitely request a scan!

greenlizard Tue 08-Jan-13 16:39:50

Blimey jbrd you really should ask, no insist, you have another scan to check what is happening! I can't really appreciate what you are going through (look at me and my wobbly bottom lip just because my period came a week early! Ha!) but it must be emotionally exhausting for you. I really hope you can have scan quickly so you know what your situation is.

Good luck and wishing you a miracle. Xx

JBrd Tue 08-Jan-13 16:51:24

Thanks, Irish and greenlizard - I just called the EPU again and spoke to another nurse, to get more clarification about what is happening. Unfortunately, they still believe that the miscarriage has happened, going with everything that has been happening, and that the pregnancy tissue just hasn't been seen/felt when it was actually passed. They are not going to scan me at this point sad, I will have to wait at least until next week and do another test. I'm seriously considering getting a private scan...

greenlizard Tue 08-Jan-13 17:36:06

If a private scan isn't an issue financially for you, I think you should go for it. Do you know how you go about doing that? Even if the scan confirms that you have miscarried you can at least start to deal with it rather than hanging in limbo -which must be so horrible and stressful. At least the second nurse sounded a bit more clued up than the first one.

I am still wishing you a miracle though! Xx

littlepinkfizz Tue 08-Jan-13 18:02:32

Oh my goodness jbrd the agonising wait.

I can't imagine how stressful that an be but I would definitely ask for another scan, private or not.i wouldn't trust anyone until I'd seen the scan myself and spoken to my consultant. You are perfectly within your rights to to see your consultant. At least then, you could ave all your questions answered.

Isabeller Tue 08-Jan-13 18:16:26

sparkly I want to hope that you will all find a way through this difficult time and have a happy and loving summer however things turn out.

Jbrd I hope it doesn't sound too idiotic to say 'Do what's right for you'. You might not feel like fighting for an earlier scan and a private one could be a good answer unless that will cause you more stress than waiting with the attitude that no-one has proved to your satisfaction that you have had a miscarriage.

hugs to all, I'd like to echo greenlizards post, you put it really well.

I was completely shattered when I got home yesterday. The nurse explained in great detail what would happen at each stage and that we will be kept in the loop about the egg sharer's treatment so we will know as soon as the clinic do if she is likely to have enough eggs to go ahead with sharing (I think the minimum is 8 = 4 each so we both have a chance of ET). I want to send her a card, the clinic can pass this on as long as we don't identify ourselves to each other, and I'm trying to think about what to say.

I'll be going for a baseline scan in 10 days then various medications and scans over the following fortnight to check the progress of my womb lining. At some point during this time I will no doubt get out my tarot cards and start bulk buying chicken entrails.

I had a nasty headache all day and couldn't manage the C25K session I was planning but did walk a fair distance. I really sympathise about the knee pain hopeful. I put on a few pounds last autumn instead of losing a few because I rested my whole body instead of just my achilles tendon when I strained it. Have you ever tried the Nordic Poles?

My last bit of good news is that DP and I braved the GP surgery today, I was fully expecting a very frosty reception due to our combined madness and ancientness but the GP was very kind and I am relieved to feel I could go there for antenatal care if I need it.

remnant Tue 08-Jan-13 19:13:22

sparkly it's one thing to not be happy about a pregnancy, but it's another to refuse to discuss or communicate. that is really unreasonable. good luck! I think for you finding someone else objective to talk (face to face) could be really useful.

jbrd a private scan might be well worth the £100, if you have it to hand, if not being more insistent every day with the nurses until give in might be worth it...?

isabeller best of luck with it all

I'm bloody knackered today, partly due to another late night but also I'm feeling faint and dizzy and flushed all day. I don't remember this from my last pregnancy. It's beginning to scare me a bit. You'll laugh but I'm worried I'm having twins, since my body is getting so carried away with it all so early. Twins would not be a good outcome for us. I have to keep reminding myself that the more likely outcome is that by the end of March I'm more likely not to be pregnant at all. It seems very cruel that it can take 3 months for chromosomal problems to manifest and meanwhile our bodies are perfectly happy with the pregnancy.

DoctorWhoFan Tue 08-Jan-13 20:01:45

Hi ladies,

Moved house and without internet until the end of the week - borrowing MIL's internet at the moment - but wanted to come on and say hello. There's so much to catch up on and I have so little time here this evening, but I just wanted to add my voice to everyone else's Sparkly in support of you. I can't believe what an utterly awful time you're having of it. Your DH needs to pull himself together and get his ass to the doctor's and get some support. He was quite happily going along not using any contraception, and there is always a chance of pregnancy. He can't now start throwing his toys out of the pram because it's happened. And worst of all, he can't allow it to impact on your DD that is frankly rather unforgiveable. She's a child, she has no idea what's going on!

I really hope you get everything sorted out. To all the other lovely ladies here, I am really hoping that once I get the internet at home I'll be able to catch up with the thread - it all seems very busy!

In DrWhoFan news...been having cramps since 5dpo. Due on today or tomorrow. Nothing happened so far today. Nauseous on and off, sore boobs...heartburn after tonight's shepherd's pie (nothing to do with my cooking!), so keeping my fingers crossed, but after 2 chemical pregnancies, I've been here before...

Will catch up properly with you all in a few days.

Much love

quickdowntonson Tue 08-Jan-13 21:41:47

Hi everyone,
jbrd - thinking of you. I agree with the others, have a scan if you possibly can, even if it means paying privately, you can't go on 'in limbo' like this.
_Sparkly- You DH is really retreating into his 'cave' isn't he? My DH was like that when I was pregnant with our DS.Even after he was born, he would make the odd comment like 'I wish it was just the two of us sometimes.' Our Ds is now a strapping 14 year old and Dh and him do everything together, mountain biking, football, etc. I think that men sometimes like to get all the attention for themselves, honestly, and feel a little jealous and left out of the mother/baby bond. They often really bond with their kids when they are old enough to interact properly. He's just feeling scared and insecure, he'll grow out of it. i hope you make whatever decision is right for you, we'll support you no matter what you decide to do. xx
Well the bad news is AF got me today, really gutted. Keep going I guess. Will have a large glass of wine to drown sorrows. sad(
Hi to everyone else, hope you settle in new place soon DrWho - moving is stressful!

hopefulgum Tue 08-Jan-13 22:47:40

Good Morning everyone,

Sorry Af found you quickdowtonson. Enjoy your wine.I know that each AF is a nasty little reminder that your aren't pregnant, but hang in there, one of these months you'll be enjoying YOUR

jbrd, so sorry this roller-coaster ride is still happening, but I have everything crossed that the outcome is a happy one. Has anyone suggested getting beta blood tests? If hcg is falling due to a loss, then it can be measured, and if it is climbing, then there's really good cause for another scan. How many weeks would you be by now? I do hope you have some answers soon.

remnant, don't stress about twins - every pregnancy is different, and having these strong symptoms is probably just a great sign that the baby is going to be a sticky one.

Isabeller - glad to hear things are moving along for you. I'm visualising at least ten big juicy eggs for you (why isn't there and egg emoticon for the conception threads?). As for the C25K, I am still holding off, but already feel much better. I went to a "bodybalance" class at the gym yesterday so got in some great stretching and core work. Hopefully doing that will help improve the muscles around my knee,and my quads. I intend to take a long walk today to see how things go. It is actually overcast and cool today. Thank goodness, we are all starting to feel exhausted by the hot, humid weather and are ready for a cool change. December/January has been the hottest Australia has seen in over 100 years. There are bush fires raging all over the Eastern States and Tassie, but they won't get their cool change for a bit.

Drwhofan - things are sounding positive for you. When will you test? Or will you be a model of strength and wait til AF is late? I hope this is it for you.

Morien - waiting for your update? Any news???

Calibee - how are you feeling?

Irishmammy - how are you?

Greenlizard, sorry about the wacky cycle and AF. Have you ever taken Vitex ( also know as Agnus Castus), it is great for sorting out cycles that might be a bit wonky. I too have a love/hate thing going on with "One Born". I love seeing the births and cry my heart out, with joy for the new life safely earthside, but also grief for myself, wondering if those days are now behind me. I don't want them to be, but I feel powerless to do anything about it. I just have to continue trying without it being all encompassing.

I didn't bother with a test this morning. Although I tested early at 10 dpo, I will now wait and see if AF turns up. If there's nothing by Saturday, I will test, but I think AF will turn up judging by my crappy temperatures.sad

hopefulgum Tue 08-Jan-13 22:56:08

P.S. Meant to send love to Sparkly - sorry things are so awful. I know your DH won't seek counseling, but can you see someone to talk things over? If my DH was behaving like yours I think I might ask him to separate for a while, just to get perspective on it.I now you don't want to break up the family unit, but it isn't you who is doing it, it's his behaviour .It just isn't fair that he is making everything so stressful in your household. He really needs help because your DD will be affected by his moods and behaviour. His reaction isn't normal, so he really needs professional help to get through this, despite him saying that professionals couldn't help him before, so they won't this time.

If he leaves (and I truly hope it doesn't come to that), you will never resent your child. And if he does (resent the baby), then he really does need to address that. He says that he loves you, but his actions aren't saying that. So sorry, Sparkly, it's such a tough thing to be dealing with during early pregnancy.


JBrd Tue 08-Jan-13 23:20:44

So I have now booked myself a private scan for tomorrow afternoon. I decided I just need to know, one way or the other, I just cannot continue getting derailed every time I am starting to get back on track again.
I was meant to have a quiet and relaxing week to re-gain my strength, but so far, it has been anything but that! Work has already started pestering me about deadlines, reports, grant applications blablabla, and I made the stupid stupid mistake of getting sucked in. Won't ever make that mistake again.

Then I was meant to go on this all-day workshop in Oxford on Thursday, driving down tomorrow night and staying in a hotel. Which is not happening now, but I was stressing about missing it - I'm aiming for a career change, and this workshop would have been very useful to get information and meet people from the field I want to move into. But I just can't concentrate on this now - my CV still needs work, I need to do more research and start the networking - but I literally can't. Didn't help that DH kept saying 'Ooh, I really think you should go, this would be really good for you and your career' - not realising how pressurised this made me feel (DH is very career-orientated and readily projects that onto other people, i.e. me). Until I had a mini-meltdown earlier, and now he feels terribly guilty, poor sod.

But I've now made up my mind to get clarification what is going on with my body first, and feel much better about it. Incidentally, the hotel cost that I now don't have to pay will cover the scan fee wink.

And now I will retire to bed and attempt to read another chapter of one of my all-time favourite books, Lord of the Rings. Great escapism, just what I need (if I can stay awake).

Irishmammybread Tue 08-Jan-13 23:55:36

Good morning gum ! I was wondering if the bush fires would affect you at all but thought you might be ok where you are, good to hear you're safe and well!
I hope AF doesn't turn up for you.
My temp increased this morning and ewcm has gone so I presume I ovulated yesterday and am now starting the 2ww. I hope timing has been ok.

I went out for lunch with DS today,he doesn't go back to Uni till next week and since the girls are back to school and DH is away I thought we'd have some mother-son time. It was a lovely meal and it was nice to have a chance to talk,he's great company and even if I wasn't related to him I'd want him as a friend!

Sorry AF got you downtown I'll raise a virtual glass with you to toast your brand new cycle full of opportunity!

remnant sorry you feel so rubbish but strong symptoms could be indicating high hormone levels so surely that's a positive thing!

Drwho sounds like you need to test!!

Isabeller it's lovely you can write a card to your donor but it must be hard to know what to say! Hope you get lots of eggs that result in BFPs for you both.

JBrd that's a really good idea of gum's ,to have bloods taken, you could even have that done at your GP if the EPU wont see you earlier and it would help give you a better idea of what's happening.

Irishmammybread Wed 09-Jan-13 00:00:24

sorry JBrd crossed posts, glad you're having a scan tomorrow, hope it clarifies things for you.
Thinking about your job must feel like a low priority at the moment with everything else you have going on, it can wait!
Enjoy Lord of the Rings !

sparklysapphire Wed 09-Jan-13 02:31:28

Jbrd, so glad you've managed to get a private scan, hopefully it will provide some clarity and you'll know what is/has been happening instead of having to sit it out for days.

gum glad you are safe from the bush fires.

Good to hear from you drwho, hope the move went as smoothly as possibly and you'll be fully internetted up soon. Symptoms sound promising, hope this is your month.

Isabeller, writing a card for your donor is a lovely thing to do, but I imagine finding the right words is really hard.

quickdowntonson sorry AF got you, enjoy the wine, and good luck for this cycle. I think the cave analogy for my DH is a good one, but he appears to have come out of it!

Much to my astonishment, he was very affectionate when he got home, and said he woke up yesterday morning feeling much better, as if all the stress had been released. It was an abnormal reaction and some sort of panic attack, but he appears to be over it, and it'll be ok. Thank you so much, ladies, for your support over the past few days, particularly those of you going through hard times yourselves. I'm intending to go to the GP on Friday, which is my first chance, and would definitely have mentioned DHs reaction if things had not improved. We didn't have much time to talk due to the day/night thing, but hopefully we've turned a corner. Of course there's a long way to go, and like remnant says, if I'm still pregnant in March, I'll be amazed. Go to go, work beckons. Love to all.

CaliBee Wed 09-Jan-13 07:36:15

jbrd will be thinking of you today.....

sparkly I'm glad DH has "softened" a little...some men have a natural selfish streak in them. It probably never even occurred to him that his actions were so inappropriate....maybe now that things have settled a little you could arrange some time for a chat and tell him that his behaviour is not on your list just now.

Raa to the af quickdowntonson ....a new fresh cycle to concentrate on grin

Have a lovely day ladies x

greenlizard Wed 09-Jan-13 08:13:48

Glad you have a scan booked jbrd - fingers crossed it goes well. I can quite see that thinking about building your career at this particular moment might be a bit too much!

hopeful I was thinking about this wonky cycle (poss. no Ovulation with early and heavy period) and if I had done anything different. I had taken EPO until what I thought was mid cycle (was planning to stop when I O'd but as that didn't happen I better stop anyway) I am wondering if that had anything to do with it. Guess I won't know but I won't be taking EPO this month! Have you taken Vitex? I have read conflicting views on it. I might just go au naturel this month except the conception vitamin I am on and see if my cycle rights itself. I couldn't get my 21 progesterone done as I had started by period by then so will have to try that this cycle. I have found a local registered acupuncturist who specialises in fertility issues so planning to make an appointment today. I am strangely excited about it - DP who doesn't believe in anything except good old medical doctors is raising his eyes at this. We ended up having an argument spirited discussion about "alternative" therapies - this discussion happens a lot as I am a vegetarian and willing to try different ways of thinking - he thinks I am a total tree hugger. He's right of course - proud of it! One with an open mind I like to think grin Mind you he has totally changed his diet and lifestyle since we've been together and feels much better for it.

sparkly that is quite the turnaround in DH behaviour - sounds like he has had a word with himeself! Does he have any idea of the impact of his behaviour on you and DD? The reason I ask is that my DP is a huffy so and so and when he goes in one of his moods (which can appear without warning and go on for a couple of days) it wouldn't cross his mind to apologise for it when he finally comes out of his man cave (or huffy hollow as I like to call it) mainly because he seems incapable of empathy at these times...the rest of the time he is a different man. I agree when things have settled (and you get to sit down with him) you should tell him how is behaviour made you feel. I better he is clueless! I am glad though that he seems to have turned a corner....may your pregnancy be totally dull and boring from now on smile

Sorry AF got you quickdowntonson I am slight ahead of you. Enjoy your wine and just think we are first in line for next months BFP's if they are handing them out!

Drwhofan well done on the move and fingers crossed this month is it. Sounds promising..

remnant please don't stress about twins just yet!! I think strong symptoms sound good and a sign of a strong pregnancy which is the first step and of course each pregnancy is different.

Isabeller Good luck with writing the card - I think it is lovely that your donor will get to know how much this will mean to you and your DH and good luck with all the preparation.

Right, I have made myself late with all this to go to work. Have a lovely fertile day grin

Morien Wed 09-Jan-13 09:41:42

Morning all!

sparkly, I'm really glad to hear your news. May it be plain sailing from now on...

jbrd, good luck with your scan, will be thinking of you this afternoon. I think it'll be money well spent, just for you to have some clarity about what's going on.

Isabeller, hope you've managed to think of something to say in the card - I think it's a lovely thing to do (but hard...)

remnant, how are you feeling today?

I've got a tiny bit of brown spotting this morning so I assume AF is moving in (looks like I'll be joining you, greenlizard and quickdowntonson). I didn't test this month as I just didn't see the point, I've been so sure that AF was going to show up - not in a negative, 'I'll never get my BFP' kind of way, more just resigned acceptance that it's not this month. Today is CD35, and that's much more like my cycle length pre-MC than the 28/29 days I've had since, so maybe it's a sign that things are finally back to normal.

And on top of AF, I'm off work sick, having caught DP's virus - the dr told him it's a 'cousin of flu'. I felt worse and worse throughout the day yesterday, and today's worse again. So I'm snuggled up on the couch with a fleecy blanket and a book which my head hurts to much to read.

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 10:42:55

Jbrd, I am so glad you are able to have a scan today. I do hope it is good news.

Morien, sorry to hear you are feeling poorly,and about AF. I hope you feel better soon. I'm pretty sure I'll be joining you and lizard and quickdown with AF due in 2 or 3 days.

Here's to our BFP's showing up really soon wine

NewPatchesForOld Wed 09-Jan-13 11:50:44

morien sorry you're not feeling well. Just enjoy the rest, sleep and relax. At least if AF shows up you can, as they say, start a new cycle afresh.

Jbrd fingers crossed for today, let us know how it goes.

Much love to everyone else, sorry I haven't namechecked everyone but am typing and hovering and generally multi tasking.

I have just noticed a slight bloody stain on my underwear...very slight but there. None on tp at all. I'm now 6dpo so am hoping and praying it's implantation bleeding. Felt slightly nauseous this morning again, and am now ravenously hungry which is peeing me off slightly as I have been diligently following slimming world's plan. I am also exceptionally tired (a true symptom of pregnancy in the past for me). I slept very deeply last night - DP was awake all night tossing and turning apparently but I didn't notice a thing which is unusual for me as I usually sleep very lightly. Woke up absolutely busting to go to the loo.

Hope you all have a lovely (or at least restful and peaceful day)

quickdowntonson Wed 09-Jan-13 15:58:33

Quick question - does anyone know what normal FSH levels on day 5 of cycle are meant to be???
Sorry for the quick post, on my way out!

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 18:46:33

Jbrd...thinking of you...any news??

Newpatches still spotting?

Sparkly excellent news!!

Today I remembered that I am 41 and not 42 as I thought!!! smile
So need get a stick baby soon....

Love to allxxx

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 18:56:17


NewPatchesForOld Wed 09-Jan-13 19:00:35

grin...I immediately had images of all these lovely pictures of babies, as drawn by Lowry!

No notsoold it was just the one smear really, so far anyway but I have just had the biggest sleep on the settee!!! One minute I was lying down 'to rest my eyes' and the next 2 hours have passed, no dinner's been cooked and it's half an hour til DD2's bedtime! I also have a very strange ache in my groin and thighs, a bit like period pains I used to get when I was at school...haven't had them like that since I was 15. lol @ the age thing too...sadly I keep having to remind myself that I am 44 and not 24 as I thought!

Jbrd how are you?

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 19:04:37

That is very good newpatches as it is to be sleepy !!!body getting ready , right?? smile

NewPatchesForOld Wed 09-Jan-13 19:52:13

I hope so, I'll be gutted if I'm not. All signs are pointing towards a bfp, I remember this tiredness from my dc's. X

JBrd Wed 09-Jan-13 20:12:45

Hi ladies, thanks for the words of support. Well, the scan showed what I had been expecting - an empty sac still present, no heartbeat sad I'm relieved now that I know what the situation is, but slightly apprehensive about what will happen next.
Does the fact that I haven't passed the sac now make this a missed mc? I was really hoping to get away without any intervention, but I think that my chances for that are fading, and I'm going to have to have the ERPC confused

I'm also a bit disappointed with the EPU, so far I've been really happy with them. But the fact that they are not planning to scan me again, even though I have not passed any pregnancy tissue yet, have been bleeding for over 3 weeks and am still getting very strong BFPs surely would justify checking what is going on? Will give them a ring tomorrow, but I'm almost expecting that they'll tell me to wait until next week and then do another test angry

I would have been 11 weeks tomorrow, when do they start considering intervention? From what I have been reading, people go more or less straight on to ERPC when a mmc is detected, or am I wrong? Any chance that i will pass the sac naturally now? I really want to draw a line under all this now...

Sorry for all the questions, and not for name-checking! (Typing on the iPad is so uncomfortable)

CaliBee Wed 09-Jan-13 20:37:17

Oh jbrd I'm so sorry that you seem to be getting such a raw deal of things. I think in view of todays findings the EPU should be pulling their fingers out and sorting things out. Surely the risk of infection would be an indication at this point. You have been through more than enough and its time they acted.
I hope tomorrow brings some answers for you. Perhaps if you feel the EPU have let you down ask to speak to your GP or even A&E.....its time for action.

remnant Wed 09-Jan-13 20:58:38

I've been thinking of you all day. I'm sorry it's not better news.
Sorry I can't help with your questions x

twentythirteen Wed 09-Jan-13 21:41:59

Jbird, apologies in advance as am on my phone. I had a similar situation, and that makes me think they aren't intervening properly for you or are working under a misunderstanding. After my 12 week scan I was told to wait a week and then come back for the meds to bring on the mc but when I returned a week later they said I would have to wait a further week. A put our foot down and said we weren't happy with the decision and a got put through to the consultant who then booked the surgery. In the end I didn't need it as the scan poked things enough to start the mc, although I did need help to finish it. And they did call it a mmc.what you described makes me think they think you want to do this naturally perhaps, I'd give then a ring and clarify things. I'm sorry you're going through this.

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 22:12:14 are right to contact them tomorrow and to have an intervention (erpc) soon. If they are not moving fast enough go to a&e...the sac is still growing and your bfps will be strong. But waiting any longer is not viable ....
Sorry ...sorry...sorry xx

Irishmammybread Wed 09-Jan-13 22:14:02

JBrd I'm so so sorry things have turned out like this for you.
I'll just let you know my experience, don't know if it will help.
With my last miscarriage we found there was no heartbeat at a scan at 10 weeks but growth had stopped at 8w6d. I asked about the risk of infection if we waited for a natural mc and was told the risk was low, statistically it's low for any of the forms of management ,slightly higher for surgical than medical or natural. Having said that I wasn't bleeding at that stage so my cervix would have still been closed I presume.
I wanted to wait because the girls didn't know I was pregnant and I didn't want to have to explain going into hospital, it was the school holidays. Having already had two natural miscarriages I kind of knew what to expect too.
I was booked for another scan two weeks later but started with painful cramps a few days before and a sudden onset of heavy bleeding the morning I was due at the EPU. They told me the baby was still there,they offered me an ERPC again but as I had started they said I could well progress to a complete miscarriage on my own. I was booked for another scan in a week but went on to pass the sac etc about three days later.
So it was three weeks from the baby dying before it came out and the EPU even at 12 weeks weren't pushing to intervene.
Even with my first mc I had been bleeding for a few days before my scan and though the baby had gone the sac was still present and I wasn't booked for a rescan for a further 2 weeks(though I actually passed the sac 2 days later and they did check my blood HCG in the meantime) so they didn't seem to think there was necessarily a need to rush into intervening.
I was told if the pain was difficult to cope with or the bleeding excessively heavy to go to A&E.
In your case though you have already been bleeding for 3 weeks,so that must be draining for you, and you might feel you want some closure rather than waiting in limbo for the miscarriage to be complete.
I do think you should contact the EPU again and let them know the findings of the private scan and see what they suggest.

greenlizard Wed 09-Jan-13 22:34:35

So sorry jbrd. Hope you are ok in the circumstances. Xxx

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 22:57:33

Jbrd, so sorry you didn't get better news. I am so surprised they will let you go another week. You have been through enough. If you want to have an ERPC, then surely it would be kinder to let that happen ASAP than for you to wait to miscarry naturally. It can take a long time. I know with my mmc's I just wanted it properly over so that I could start grieving properly and start the ttc process again sooner.

Newpatches, things are sounding very positive for you. I hope you get a BFP.

12DPO here and certain that I'll see AF tomorrow or the next day. I was just having a look at all my charts. I have been charting since July 2009, though my fertility still hadn't returned as I was breastfeeding my son. So I have about 36 charts since then. I just can't believe I'm still on the wrong side of ttc. When I embarked on this journey I foolishly believed I would have a toddler by now! I wanted a couple of years between DS and the next one. He's now 4.5 and I wonder if I want a gap so big, but whether I do or not doesn't matter, I can't do a damn thing about it. I know I'm not pregnant this cycle because I am feeling PMT coming on - the sadness that yet again it is not my month. By the time AF shows herself I will no longer have the pity-party going on, but right now I'm just pissed off that I have to get back on that horse and ride (pardon the pun) yet again.

I still don't know what to do about the clomid. It actually hasn't arrived in the mail, so I guess even if I wanted to take it isn't here. But if it does arrive I am in two minds. Do I take it because I've tried everything else "natural" and my DH will not agree to donor egg and ivf? Do I take it as a last resort? Then I worry that it will dry up the last skerrick of wet cervical mucus I have and thin my endometrial lining as well? Do I risk having multiples (as if that'd happen hmm) or a large cyst? I just wish I could have been pregnant now and I wouldn't have to think about this anymoreangry

Sparkly - really pleased that DH has turned a corner. I hope it's smooth sailing from here on in.

LouBLou71 Wed 09-Jan-13 23:11:40

Am I in the right thread? 41 TTC for 2yr, MC 1yr ago. SWI, ovulation confirmed, on vitamin supplement, off caffeine & alcohol, DH on vitamin supplements, 3 previous preg. Can anyone offer any suggestions to improve our chances please? Feeling like time running out!!

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 23:37:07

Hi loublou...welcome!!
Absolutely the right thread!!! I never know anything but someone will come along and be wise to you...I just wanted to welcome you!!!smile

notsoold Wed 09-Jan-13 23:39:02

Sorry...loblou...I wanted to highlight you name and got it wrong....see??? Empty head goes loublou smile

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 23:44:45

Hi LouBlou -you are definitely on the right thread. Welcomegrin

Suggestions for improving chances? Wow, there are so many:

1. Start taking your waking temperature with a specific "basal" thermometer,and chart the results on Fertility Friend. this will give you a clear idea of your cycles and when you are likely to be fertile.

2. Use ovulation predictor sticks (cheapest ones are online)

3. Consider investing in a Clearblue fertility monitor if you want a good clear guide to when you are most fertile. This is not cheap and the sticks are pricey.

4. There has been talk of supplements that help with egg quality, but there is conflicting information. However the protocol usually involves: DHEA 75mg a day, Coq10 400-600mg a day. Some people also take myo-inisitol and L-arginine and melatonin. I don't bother with that, the supplements just cost too much! I have also read that these things help with fertility:Vitamin E, VIt D (you may want to check if you are deficient), royal jelly, extra folic acid,aspirin, maca, wheatgrass, manuka honey, fermented cod liver oil etc,etc.

5. Have you considered clomid? You could discuss that with your GP.

6. Alternative therapies: Acupuncture is great for fertility and overall health. I find it helps to relax me, which is useful as ttc is stressful. I believe some ladies have had good luck with reflexology. I think hypnotherapy is also supposed to be beneficial. Also, yoga and meditation might help.

7. There are upteen books written on fertility and fertility diets,and to be honest I think I may have read them all in the last five years. A common thread in all of them is that a diet that it high in vegetables, omega three fats (from fish, grass fed meat etc), and good sources of protein is the best option. For some people dairy is a good idea, but for others it is a no no. Traditional Chinese Medicine suggests that dairy products are "cooling" which is bad for conception. A cold womb is not good in the eyes of my acupuncturist. She's been trying to get me off dairy for years. I have been off it now for about 6 months and do feel better for it. But I think everyone is different.

Okay, now for some of the more crazy things one can do (I'm not admitting to having done them myself hmm):

-Buy a fertility spell from Mia angel - she used to sell them on ebay, but I think they banned her from selling spells so now she sells fertility jewelry but does spells elsewhere. I know someone who got pregnant three times with three of her spells, but miscarried each time (the two are clearly not related!)

-ask a psychic what to do. Mine said I'd get preggo with twins next month if I take the clomid. I 6don't6 actually believe her.

-wear fertility jewelry: pink quartz, moonstone, fertility goddess symbols

-Feng Shui the house and particularly the bedroom to allow conception (in other words: tidy up).

-drink gallons of nettle and red clover tea to boost fertility (tastes like pond scum, so it must be really good)

-complete a visualisation board (otherwise known as a "treasure map") with images of what you would like the universe to provide .I have seen one mine with pictures of positive pregnancy tests, bulging bellies and newborns.

Well that's all I could come up with for now.

I have tried almost everything (barring a fertility clinic). Perhaps at our age it is just a matter of being patient. I know how hard that is. sad

I have just realised my DH will be away during my next fertile phase, so next month might be a bust already. F*%$ing H$ll !!angry

hopefulgum Wed 09-Jan-13 23:45:26

P.S. - have lots of sex...I forgot that one wink

JBrd Thu 10-Jan-13 00:00:07

Hi LouBLou71, yes, you are absolutely in the right thread, welcome! Lots of lovely knowledgeable people here (not me, though - 41, 1 DS, ttc since August last year and currently having a mc - I've been relying very much on the wisdom of the ladies here myself!). Hope you won't have to stay too long grin

sparkly - so glad your DH seems to pick up, let's hope it stays that way! Definitively a move in the right direction.

hopefulgum I don't envy you and your dilemma! Have you spoken to your GP about clomid? I remember you said that she (or maybe it was your consultant?) was really nice and that you trust her. One always hopes that there might be a chance it will happen 'on it's own' and that taking drugs to help things along equals to admitting defeat... But on the other hand we have these amazing drugs available to us, why not utilise them? Just my opinion, but then again, I am a firm believer that modern medicine is quite a wonderful thing... How long would you be taking it, should you decide pro-clomid?
Hope that you can come to a decision that you are happy with!

Thank you for sharing your stories, Irish and twenty! I will call the midwife and/or EPU tomorrow to discuss the scan results with them. I had hoped that it would all happen naturally, but I don't think I could deal with waiting for that while carrying on as normal. Who knows how long it will take?! No way I could function at work like this... I have been putting everything on hold in the last few weeks, fortunately with the holidays that was quite easy to achieve, but it's getting more and more difficult now. I'm already having to push back because work keep pestering me with stuff. My poor DH and DS have been getting the raw end of the deal big time, it's not fair on them. And I want to make plans for nice things again - DH has suggested a mini-break in February, and we're invited to a wedding in Scotland in the summer - and I so want to start doing exercise again, I really miss it (was even contemplating doing the C25K like some of you!). All this will help me with the grieving process, so I am want to re-gain at least some sense of control and get on with my life. And I am keen starting ttc again... Am I delusional?

So if there has to be medical intervention, I'd rather have it sooner than later. No point going back to work to then have to take more time off soon after. I don't actually care about work as such, but they do need to know where they're at with me, either I'm there or I'm not.
Fingers crossed that the EPU will agree with me and start discussing options...

remnant Thu 10-Jan-13 00:27:04

LouBlou, welcome

Hopeful, I love your list, certainly a few more things on it than I've tried grin Haven't you tried cough syrup to make mucus more runny. A naturopath recommended lambs livers and spinach to me, instead of vitamin supplements, but I chickened out of the liver at least.
I'm very sorry about the impending arrival of your AF, and about your DH's plans to go away next month. That really sucks.

I've had a rubbish day, I started feeling shakey and cold, (rather than dizzy and flushed) then I had some cramping, and ever since I've been rushing to the loo to check for blood. None found yet.

quickdowntonson your asking about early symptoms, and given that I felt I'd missed the boat last month completely I really wasn't looking out for any. In retrospect though I had started picking up on smells (tmi, I was actually obsessed with the smell of dirty laundry, like it was much worse than usual). Stuffy nose too, strangely.

hopefulgum Thu 10-Jan-13 08:05:07

You know remnant, now that you mention it, when I was ttc our son after the vasectomy reversal, I did take robitussin cough syrup, and used preseed lubricant. I don't know if that's what did it, because I also took red clover tablets up til ovulation that month too. But I may have done it in earlier months when I didn't conceive., so who knows what the clincher was in the end confused It might have happened had I done nothing (apart fromt he sex of course) at all. It is mind boggling.

When I reread the list I wrote I realised that I have really given it my all, and seriously, there's not much else I can do, except work my way towards acceptance. That's the hardest thing of allsad

NewPatchesForOld Thu 10-Jan-13 11:32:13

hello ladies grin

I have a TMI question for you all, so apologies in's all about scents.

Every month for a few days prior to AF visiting, I get an odour...y'know...down there. Not a fishy one, or foul...just different, quite pungent. As soon as AF steps foot inside the door it goes.

Well, today I have noticed a similar odour, and was wondering whether this means AF is still coming, or if anyone got a similar one in early pregnancy too? I was convinced this was my month, all the signs are there, but now this has thrown me. I believe the pre AF smell is hormone related, so wondering if it could be the same in early pg?


remnant Thu 10-Jan-13 12:36:09

Well more tmi but I've definitely got a different smell, so my h so I googled it yesterday and it seems it can be. Hope this is your lucky month!

remnant Thu 10-Jan-13 12:37:11

On phone, sorry. Meant so much so

NewPatchesForOld Thu 10-Jan-13 15:21:06

Remnant, I googled too...nice, lol. Well...I just threw up rather profusely, after eating chocolate which I usually love! It started off with heartburn earlier, then after lunch felt queasy and then up it came! Feel rough but very pleased! But could be a tummy bug (am I the only one who keeps trying to rationalise symptoms? )

DoctorWhoFan Thu 10-Jan-13 16:10:56

Aaargh. Too depressed for words. Effing period turned up bang on time following a month in which we shagged until we were sick of the sight of each other and our respective tender bits were, well, tender! I definitely ovulated. I then had 2 weeks of symptoms, and wallop. The bitch is here in full force and I just want to wail!

Sorry about the "me" post. Especially as there are ladies here who are having a much, MUCH worse time of it. It's just that I'm 46 this year and each period that arrives robs me of my much wanted first baby. Snot my fault it took so long to meet the love of my life sad

DoctorWhoFan Thu 10-Jan-13 16:12:24

Oh, and the heating is on the blink in the new gaff and it's minus fucking 1 in here and I've been waiting for the engineer all day! BRRRRRR....

Morien Thu 10-Jan-13 18:01:29

DrWhoFan, so you've joined this week's AF club too. Sorry. I know what you mean - I'd just never met anyone I wanted to have children with until I met DP, and it's frustrating when AF keeps on coming. I read about older women being so selfish, having put their careers first and expecting to have children in their 40's...I'm not sure that's such a bad thing anyway, but it's not even my case! As you say, not my fault I didn't meet the father of my future (I hope!) child sooner!

patches it all sounds very promising!

Have spent the day sleeping and feeling sorry for myself. Haven't been properly ill like this for years! DP is usually utterly crap when I'm poorly but this time, as he had it himself first and knows how horrible it is, he's being lovely and he's really looking after me.

JBrd Thu 10-Jan-13 20:13:17

remnant hope you're feeling better and that the cramping has stopped!

DoctorWho Sorry about AF turning up in spite of all your athletics effort. It's so frustrating when you think you literally sh****ed your brains out, but it still didn't work. Wail all you need!

NewPatches Are you feeling any better? Throwing up after chocolate is not good, let's hope it's not a tummy bug grin

Well - went back to the EPU today after a long phone call to discuss the options for the further mc management. I've decided to opt for the surgical procedure, as the medical one is basically like an induction. As soon as the nurse described it like that, I had made up my mind - I had a horrific induction with DS, and even though I know that this is nowhere near the same, the thought of doing anything remotely similar again just petrifies me. Unfortunately, the earliest they could book me in for the surgery was the 21st.
Then I get a phone call from the lovely EPU nurse at 7.30pm, one of the surgeons has an slot in her schedule - tomorrow morning shock So am now going in for 8am to get it done. And then hopefully can start to move on...

Irishmammybread Thu 10-Jan-13 20:28:31

JBrd glad the EPU finally are sorting things out for you and you have some resolution, hope it goes ok tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you . x

NewPatchesForOld Thu 10-Jan-13 20:56:55

Jbrd, I'm so sorry for all you have been through, I'll be (virtually) holding your hand tomorrow. I'm glad you're getting everything sorted tomorrow though and won't have to wait.
Indeed, up chucking chocolate would not be good, although my scales might disagree! Felt nauseous all afternoon but it seems to have eased of now.

greenlizard Thu 10-Jan-13 21:22:30

Drwho fan you have my sympathy, I know exactly how you feel – well maybe I don’t because I had no promising signs this month whatsoever - having so many symptoms then for AF to turn up so darn promptly is just rubbish – boo!

Like you and Morien, I only met my DP later in life - I was 40 – if I had met him earlier (before my first foray round the block with DP number one – who really turned out to be a P without the D bit!) I can’t help thinking I would be knee deep in kids by now. I do have a successful career but to be honest that is only because I didn’t have a family to occupy me during my 30’s. I worked hard because I could and for much of that time I had no-one waiting at home for me so late nights at the office were the norm. Now before it sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself and bemoaning my situation, if I am honest I had a cracking time – I have many friends who like me were single, child-free and would come out and play during the week and at the weekends so I had a brilliant social life. I have travelled to many amazing places around the world both with work and on holiday and I know I wouldn’t have had all those experiences if I had children, but being a mum is the only thing I have always wanted. So, I finally met my lovely, lovely man late in the day (hopefully not too late) and here we are trying to have a baby together…I know it isn't the end of the world if we can’t and I am glad that I have been given the chance to try but dammit I have waited a long time! angry

Today I made an appointment for my first acupuncture session next week after having a long chat with the acupuncturist on the phone today –she sounds great so I am optimistic it will be enjoyable if nothing else (whilst secretly hoping it will be the magic bullet in achieving the elusive bfp smile

jbrd Is good luck the right thing to say for tomorrow? It doesn't sound quite right but I really hope it goes ok for you. You have been so strong and brave (I am in awe) sending you positive, supportive thoughts. xxxx

greenlizard Thu 10-Jan-13 21:23:39

ps. newpatches and hopeful it seems that you are now our torch bearers for bfps this month!!

DoctorWhoFan Thu 10-Jan-13 21:52:27

You ladies are cracking. Thanks for being so sweet. My mood has improved slightly, even if the temperature in the house hasn't! DP is currently out bossing innocent wee scouts about. I've been under my duvet since he left with a snoring Staffy curled up next to me on the bed, even though he's not technically allowed in the bedroom! Ssssh, I won't tell if you won't.

JBrd, I really hope it all goes well in the morning. After all that fannying about, at least something is getting done so you can move on and get cracking again ehen you feel up to it. Sparkly - that sounds better for you all round. I hope things continue to get better at home.

Sure I've missed people. If so, I'll hopefully be back in better form next week. Plus I won't be trying to update things on my Android. It's a bit rubbish in compcomparison to the pc.

Love to all xx

DoctorWhoFan Thu 10-Jan-13 21:54:37

Greenlizard, I'm thinking of giving acupuncture a go when I have a bit of money, so will you let me know how you get on? Churz x

sparklysapphire Thu 10-Jan-13 22:05:07

JBrd, I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time over the past few weeks, but I'm really pleased that your determination to get it resolved has paid off - a lesson for us all I think. I hope the procedure is straightforward tomorrow and doesn't leave you feeling any more battered, I'll be thinking of you.

Drwho, sorry AF got you, especially when it all seemed so promising. Have you warmed up? hopeful are you doing ok? Morien, sorry you are unwell, but at least your DP is looking after you. Patches, what about you, are you feeling better? Remnant, I've been getting quite a bit of cramping, but have been since before the BFP when I was convinced AF was on the way. I can't pinpoint any symptoms with hindsight either. I hope you're ok and it's just an early pregnancy symptom. I too keep expecting to start bleeding just because of high risk of mc, but ok so far.

Welcome loublou and good luck.

My nights are over (hooray!) and I'm off next week, no plans but had loads of leave to use and as I was working over Christmas I thought a break would be nice. Major tidying/sorting to be done though. I've not had chance for further chat with DH, and he's out with a mate tonight which has been planned for a while, so I'm hoping we can have a proper chat tomorrow. I really hope that he is now ok and is not going to relapse into panic.

hopefulgum Thu 10-Jan-13 22:05:45

Thinking of you Jbrd. I hope it goes well. Having the ERPC was a way I could start to move on, but it doesn't in anyway change the feeling of loss. Sending love your way.

Greenlizard, I'll be handing the torch to newpatches, whose symptoms are definitely more promising than mine. My biscuit biscuit's are still tender, but I noticed the tiniest bit of blood last night, so fully expect AF to turn up. I am 13 dpo today, was woken at 4.30am by DS so didn't take my temperature, so have no idea how that looks.

I am seriously considering weaning myself off the whole ttc thing. Perhaps giving up charting, opks, fertility monitor. But as soon as I think that, I then think,"but I only just bought the monitor, would be a waste if I don't use it", and,"if I don't temp and chart,I'll not know what is going on with my cycle,and won't know when to expect AF" (in other words,I am a control freak).

I guess I'll keep it up a bit longer, particularly as DH is going to be away the weekend I'm expecting ovulation, so that way I won't get my hopes up by being ignorant, IYKWIM.

Morien, Drwhofan and Greenlizard, I am definitely not in the same boat as you, as I started having my family young (at 24) and have had a handful of kids, but I think it is so unfair when blame is placed upon older women for "waiting" to have children. There are all sorts of reasons for the "wait", mostly they are out of y/our control. The longing for a baby, no matter your age, time ttc or circumstances is real and understandable. I hope everyone woman on this thread can have a take home baby, as everyone of us deserve to do so.

sparklysapphire Thu 10-Jan-13 22:06:54

Crossed posts drwho. You sound nice and cosy though smile.

hopefulgum Thu 10-Jan-13 22:09:23

Cross post with you Sparkly, glad to hear your nights are finished (are you a nurse?) and that you can have a break. I'm sure you could use some rest and a chance to catch up, especially after having MIL in the house all that time. GOd knows I would have been done for murder if I'd had MIL or my mother in the house for longer than a few hours (and my MIL is quite nice).

sparklysapphire Thu 10-Jan-13 22:19:28

grin at your MIL comment hopeful. No, I don't do anything as useful as nursing, I work for a big media organisation, so 24/7 is the thing.

lotsofcheese Thu 10-Jan-13 22:27:06

JBrd - Just popping in to say I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I've had 2 ERCP's & have found the procedure very straightforward with a good recovery.

I hope it goes as well as it can & you recover quickly. Take care xxx

NewPatchesForOld Thu 10-Jan-13 22:37:14

Being the torch bearer is a lot of responsibility! I will try not to disappoint ladies. I have some very odd pains in my lower abdomen tonight, definitely not af as it's completely different, behind pelvic bone. Maybe implantation pains?
Take care lovely ladies

remnant Thu 10-Jan-13 22:41:06

Yes Jbrd, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow too. Glad that you don't have to wait. You want this behind you.

Very nice of you to about me under the circumstances. I've had a quiet day mostly at home with ds1, no dramatic symptoms to speak of. Busy knicker checking of course.

NewPatchesForOld Thu 10-Jan-13 22:43:44

Ah, knicker checking, the domain of ttc crazed women everywhere. I sympathise x

Irishmammybread Thu 10-Jan-13 23:05:43

Hi cheese how are you?

gum my MIL is lovely too but we've come to realise she's not going to cope on her own now FIL has died so we're thinking about selling both properties and buying something together, with some sort of annexe or independent living arrangement for her. It's hard to know how it will all work out but we haven't really got a choice as DH is an only child and she needs our support. I just hope we can all have our space and not drive each other crazy!
Sorry to hear you think AF is on the way,how frustrating that your DH will be away next month at the critical time.I was sure though that I had missed out this month when DH went away at the start of the week but fertility friend pinpointed ovulation on Monday and as we dtd Fri,Sat,Sun it gives an intercourse timing rating as "high" so I suppose you never know ,you might still be lucky with dates?

sparkly glad you're able to talk to your DH now and he's accepting the situation, hope you enjoy your well earned rest!

DrWho it is such a disappointment when AF turns up especially when you timed everything so well and the symptoms seemed so promising. Next cycle could be the one though.Hope you get the heating sorted out soon, in the meantime bet the staffie makes a brilliant hot water bottle!

Patches what a waste of chocolate! Hopefully it's nausea for all the right reasons though.

Welcome loublou, I think you've been given a very good summary on ttc from gum ,there's really nothing more to add!

How are you doing CaliBee ? hope you're managing ok with your DP away.

Hello to everyone else!

CaliBee Fri 11-Jan-13 08:02:10

Morning ladies....

jbrd good luck to you for this morning. I will be thinking of you.

patches sounds good...I will be watching.
hopeful...definately dont waste the cbfm..they are too expensive. I must get round to listing mine on ebay.
remnant and sparkly how are you both feeling??

I'm still stuck in this dreadful limbo land. I think my brave face (over the phone) to DP has backfired a little....we had our first ever barney last night. I have been trying to sound upbeat and jolly when we speak in the evenings, despite that all consuming thought of "is my baby viable or not"....and, being his first weekend back, we decided that he would need to rest this weekend and so not make the journey down to me (aswell as cost factors). You can probably imagine my feeling when he told me his plans to spend the weekend in Newcastle on the lash for one of his army friends birthday. I was not impressed, and much snot and tears later I finally got him to understand that it was nothing to do with jealousy about him being out clubbing (way past that my darling!!!) more the fact that I am struggling to get through the days with this dreadful "not knowing whats going on" feeling, and I really would have appreciated his support at home but understood why the long/costly train journey was too much. I'm ranting...sorry.
So I have had no more bleeding but so few symptoms that I could almost be imagining them. I'm 8weeks (since lmp) although I know ovulation was delayed until at least cd16 so prob 7+ something. My boobs only hurt if I poke them, no nausea (to be fair I was never sick with my pregnancies in my 20's...but I certainly felt it), no tiredness (well no more than usual)...I have some constipation ( but I get that when not cant count) and have some lower pains (probably the constipation lol) apart from that I feel fine. Oh roll on a week on Monday when I hope above hope that I see my baby all well and fine.

There I feel so much better for expressing that....sorry to rant ladies x

wylie05 Fri 11-Jan-13 08:25:54

I don't post often but regularly read all the posts and think of you all often. Nice to see so many new people! JBrd thinking of you today, hope all goes ok. Calibee maybe your symptoms will kick in later? Sorry you are having such a difficult time.
My cycle is a bit weird and I'm blaming stress for it. I think AF has turned up now, after having had a very long cycle. I did a test BFN which I wasn't surprised about really but it's still gutting to see. I'm being driven loopy by family at the moment.
Gum thank for posting that list of things to try, think I might go back to basics and work my way down the list! Hope you are ok.
Sparkly thinking of you, keep positive.
Best wishes to everyone else.

Morien Fri 11-Jan-13 09:44:46

Jbrd, how's it gone this morning? I hope this is the end now and that you can get on with recovering. I'm quite shocked by everything you've had to go through.

Dr WhoFan, any warmer today? We've had huge problems with our heating this winter so I sympathise.

greenlizard, we seem to have lived parallel lives! I too have a great career (when I said the career thing wasn't my case I ony meant that I've never put having babies in hold for the sake of my career) which took me all over the world in my 30's. Like you, I had hosts of friends in a similar position, and I had a ball. Which isn't to say that I wouldn't have preferred to be bringing up children...but I made the best of what life offered at the time, and I really enjoyed it.

CaliBee, rant away! (I'd have been furious, in the circumstances). Hope you're ok.

sparklysapphire Fri 11-Jan-13 11:44:33

JBrd, thinking of you today.

Calibee, yes, rant away if it makes you feel better, I'd be pretty cross too in your position. I'm a few days behind you (7+3 since LMP), and pretty much have exactly the same symptoms (or lack of), I haven't had any bleeding, but I'm concerned about the viability. I had no symptoms at all with my first pregnancy which ended in m/c, but felt very nauseous with DD (though I wasn't sick), but I'm just getting the occasional slight wave usually after eating something. I'm tired today but I think that's just a post night shift thing. I hope the scan on Monday will put your mind at rest but appreciate it seems like a long time til then.

Thanks wylie, nice to hear from you, I hope your next cycle is more predictable and does the trick. Do you think your family will stop driving you loopy any time soon?

Drwho, do you think the stress of moving may have contributed to the arrival of AF? Just a thought. Is the heating being fixed soon?

I'm not sure what DH is doing over the next few days so may not be able to post, but I'll keep reading and will be back when I can. I think I may actually need a short snooze as I'm struggling to keep my eyes open.....

DoctorWhoFan Fri 11-Jan-13 12:07:33

Blimey Calibee, I'd have been pissed off too. Not sure if the sometimes being completely insensitive/a bit emotionally thick is a toy boy thing (mine can SO be the same) or whether it's just a man thing in general. Difficult for me to say given that I'm a cradle snatcher LOL!

Hope it's all gone ok JBrd - been thinking of you.

Bit warmer today. The bedroom and bathroom are stupidly hot, but the living room is FREEZING. So I'm spending a lot of time on the bed, knitting! It's s hobby, but I only do baby clothes cos I don't have the patience for anything bigger!

Can anyone else hear snoring?? Oh, it's ok, it's just Sparkly in the corner grin. Hope things continue to look up chuckie x

remnant Fri 11-Jan-13 14:53:34

Calibee I bet next week will be one of the longest you've ever known.

I'm swinging between knicker checking and worrying about having twins. hmm

Your (lack of) symptoms sound quite similar to mine. Not sick but last time I wasn't sick at all. I did have such sore boobs I had to wear a bra at night. This time they're only painful if I poke right in the nipple. Ds still has one feed a day though. I don't feel much more tired than usual but I am usually very tired.

CaliBee Fri 11-Jan-13 15:51:36

Thanks for your support ladies....
DrWho...that made me smile. Have to say though that for the majority of the time I can be the bigger kid. He told me very nicely about Newcastle( I knew he was testing the water) and I replied equally sweetly " sure sweet you go to Newcastle..but if you do then you can Fcuk off"....not very mature hey?? blush odd as it sounds its nice to feel I'm not alone in lack of symtoms...although somebody did stink the work toilets out earlier and the gag reflex was stronger than normal. And * Remnant*....said toilet visit was a knicker checking event. Sorry for TMI but I have felt a little "wet" down there today...but so far so good

NewPatchesForOld Fri 11-Jan-13 16:47:17

God, I just woke up. Again. I lay down on the settee for a few mins and before I knew it I was being woken out of a deep sleep by DS home from school! Luckily he picks DD2 up from school on the way home for me. Absolutely crippling tiredness. Have also had heartburn again today, but no sickness. The oddest thing is the distinct lack of soreness in the boobage department...Usually a week or more before AF is due I can't even take a step without wanting to yell with pain, but so far nothing. I usually have to take my bra off very slowly at night to cope with the pain, but I can whip it off no probs grin.

Calibee keep ranting away, we are such a safe outlet.
Remnant you have spawned a generation of gusset checkers y'know...we all blame you wink

To everyone else, sorry again for lack of name checking but I am feeling stupidly dozy at the moment.

Has anyone heard from Jbrd? Hope she's ok.


CaliBee Fri 11-Jan-13 17:50:47

wylie I was suffering from sillily long cycles too before I took the clomid. It seemed to do the trick for me.
newpatches when can you test??? I'm getting excited for you.

I'm hoping for a much tamer conversation with DP tonight....unless he has gone to Newcastle (he wouldnt dare lol). I hate confrontation with him when we can only sort it on the phone.
So today I had a letter informimg me that my tax credits have stopped (as DP now earning) and that I owe them £81!!! I also had a car tax renewal notice of £189 and a breakdown from my bank explaining about a mortgage enquiry meeting we had with them last week. I sold my 4 bed detached house last year with every intention of renting for a year and then buying again. My ex did a complete number on me which put me out of pocket by £115,000 and he got his debts (which I knew nothing about!!!) paid off with the equity in my (not his) house (hence selling). Raaa. Well last weeks meeting made me realise that without at least £16000-£17000 as a deposit I may be stuck in rental for a long time. I do object to paying £750 a month for this cold and small 3 bed semi just because its in a good area....oh and I regularly have to remove slugs from my kitchen in the mornings.

I will be glad when today is over.

NewPatchesForOld Fri 11-Jan-13 18:01:07

Calibee I'm the same, I can't bear not being able to sort things out face to face. And I get days like yours, when there is nothing but bad news and hassle. My ex also did a number on me when I sold my house, and I lost everything. And ew...slugs? I hate them, I don't envy you.

I am still only 8dpo, and AF is due on Thursday. I have a stack of internet cheapies and a digital clearblue in my room, so may take an early test on Sunday morning, which would be 4 days early but the tests are the ultra sensitive ones. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year, so if I am not pg then I think maybe that is taking a turn for the worse and is causing all the symptoms.

Hope all goes well with DP tonight.


greenlizard Fri 11-Jan-13 18:03:49

Ladies I would like you to behold the power of denial......

Despite getting my period a week early, bleeding for the normal 4 days and experiencing a corresponding drop in temperature....I keep finding myself thinking that maybe I am pregnant -wtf!

Explanation for such ludicrous thoughts a) my period didn't start normally (time, consistency etc.) b) my boobs didn't get sore but I have very sensitive nipples (not sore but tingling and my boobs are bigger and haven't gone down) c) there wasn't a spot to be found on my face or chest (sadly I still get spots in my forties!) d) my period was unlike my normal period (very red blood but no clots and it just stopped as it a tap was turned off) e) ummmm there must be something else I can dredge up from somewhere...I am quite hungry and felt dizzy yesterday!

Honestly, it is quite pathetic (and yes I did POAS to make sure). 8 need to have a word with myself......blush

CaliBee Fri 11-Jan-13 18:15:41

Oh lizard I have never been there...honest (she lies). When my cycles first started to get longer early last summer I convinced myself I was pregnant most cycles even once af arrived.
newpatches well I first saw "shadows" on my internet cheapy tests at what was maybe 10dpo...but couldnt say for sure until 12dpo. I guess sometimes the hoping in those last few days of 2ww is nicer than the horridness of a starkly negative HPT.

JBrd Fri 11-Jan-13 19:14:35

Hi Ladies, I'm fine. All went very well, lots of waiting around, but then very straightforward. Hardly any pain, and the little there is is manageable with paracetamol. About to have dinner that DH has cooked (I'm ravenous), then off to bed, I think...zzzzzz

greenlizard Fri 11-Jan-13 19:17:41

Jrbrd Glad to hear it went ok. Xxx

CaliBee Fri 11-Jan-13 19:28:23

So glad its all over for you jbrd spoil yourself and let yourself be spoiled x

Irishmammybread Fri 11-Jan-13 19:45:14

JBrd good to hear you're home safely and everything went smoothly, look after yourself xxx

Irishmammybread Fri 11-Jan-13 19:55:09

CaliBee sounds like you're having a rough day! It must be difficult trying to sort out any issues with DP at a distance and when you're not face to face. When do you reckon he'll be able to come home for a weekend?
That's so unfair about your ex taking all the equity from your house too, the sheer injustice must have been hard to accept!

Irishmammybread Fri 11-Jan-13 20:06:47

green the mind can play cruel tricks on us sometimes but hopefully next cycle you'll have symptoms plus a lovely BFP to go with them!

DH came home this evening with lots of washing after his week away, a suitcase full including 9 shirts! Lots of ironing for this weekend! But it is great to have him home.

10000Fireflies Fri 11-Jan-13 21:52:59

Evening all!! Found you at last. Has taken me 11 days to realise the last thread wasn't updating as it was full. Doh!! Have 12 pages of news to catch up on, so will take me a while. In the meantime, thank you Italian for remembering me and for your good wishes.

Glad to see you are ok Jbrd. Hope your recovery continues to go well.

Is a bit late for the bistro tonight, but I have some lovely jumbo, soft choc chunk cookies to share around if anyone else is having a cup of cocoa.

Hugs to all. FF xx

NewPatchesForOld Fri 11-Jan-13 22:44:06

Bblleeugh...was quite happily watching most haunted, tucking into fig rolls when I had to make a dash for the loo and up it all came. Missed the ending too! X

hopefulgum Fri 11-Jan-13 22:44:31

Good Morning girls.
Glad you found us Firefliessmile

Jbrd, I am pleased to hear it all went well. I hope your recovery is smooth. I found I was very,very tired afterwards, but I think more than anything it was the anesthetic.

Greenlizard, I completely sympathise with you - I too have those mind-games all the time. Even today, with my low temperature, spotting and less than tender boobs, I too wonder if perhaps I am pregnant because a) I haven't had a proper bleed yet, b)my boobs are a little bit sensitive, c)I gagged on my toothbrush yesterday and d)I really, really want to be pregnantsad

Unfortunately I had a shit day yesterday too, Calibee,I got a letter from the tax department telling me I've made a mistake on my return and will have to pay money back, which they'll let me know about soonangry. And for some reason, my DH lost his temper at me (I still don't really understand, except that he is grumpy) and shouted and swore, so I took off for the day with my youngest in tow. Later, he apologised and we talked, and it seems he is just finding things a bit overwhelming. I am glad he is going away next week for a few days (though he is taking DD2 to her friend's place in the city), and then the following weekend he's having a golfing weekend with friends. Which is kind of a relief - I think he needs some time without us. Anyway, I said something about how it seems that DS(our youngest) and I seem to get on his nerves, and he said, "that was always going to happen with DS". I said, "I had always hoped the positives would outshine the negatives", he replied,"well, it clearly isn't".

It makes me feel sad and angry. Sad because he doesn't enjoy our gorgeous little boy in the same way I do (though I know he loves him very much), and angry because I feel it is partly his own fault that he hasn't bonded well with DS. I have done almost all of the getting up at night, all the hands on stuff,spent the most time with him, and DH has not tried to get close to him. So now that DS is four, he clearly has a preference for his mum and DH doesn't get the same attention/cuddles etc from DS. I honestly think if DS had been an "accident" baby, DH would have been better with him, but it seems because I wanted him,instigated ttc, etc, that there is an unspoken expectation that I would do most of the baby-raising, and that is kind of what happened. But I can't really say anything about it because it just upsets DH if I say he needs to try harder to bond with DS.

The upshot of all this is that I feel I can't really keep ttc the way I have been. I think if I get pregnant it really has to be a surprise, miracle, totally unexpected thing so that it puts DH and me on a level playing field IYKWIM. I don't think I can cope with the responsibility of making DH miserable by willingly bringing a new child into our lives.

So it looks like I should be relieved that I'm not pregnant this month (I'm not relieved), and should also be thankful that DH is away during my next fertile phase, so I won't be tempted to tempt himwink. And after that I should probably use my CBFM to avoid fertile time.

It makes me feel like shit to think all this, but I don't what else to do. I suppose it is about time I thought about something else, but giving up on this dream feels like giving up a part of myself. If I could have anything, it would be that my DH and I could be on the same page about this. He still risks us getting pregnant because he won't use contraception (and I'm not going to start), but he isn't actively ttc like I have been, though I think I am stopping that now.sad

I won't be leaving the thread though, I feel at home here and really want to see how everyone else gets on.thanks

Sorry this post is so self-centred, just trying to get my head around everythingsad

Irishmammybread Fri 11-Jan-13 23:06:44

gum please don't leave the thread whatever you decide to do regarding ttc, it wouldn't be the same without you!
I can see your dilemma if your DH definitely doesn't want more but it makes things very difficult for you, letting go of that dream of a last baby is such a hard decision to make.
If your DH is stressed at the moment maybe things are just getting on top of him ,as you say a break might give him a chance to unwind or (as my DH claims to need occasionally!) a chance to "clear his head".
Do you think he might start to feel a bit closer to DS as he gets older and they start to do more dad/son things together?
Sending you a virtual hug xxx

CaliBee Fri 11-Jan-13 23:22:37

Echoes everything irish says hopeful
It seems like DH gets a lot of time away...maybe you could arrange to have a wee break yourself. Completely childfree for a couple of days?? It might give you the time and space to think about your ttc journey and where its going.

A much better conversation with DP tonight. I just miss him so much. No idea when he will be home again. He wont be there for the all important scan a week on Monday so I will be doing that one alone again. He has however told his closest friends at the barracks that I'm pregnant and that its a little touch and go just now. Thats the first people he has told as under the present circumstances we have decided to keep the news to ourselves. He said that they were discussing familes over dinner and the conversation got around to how the others were looking forward to having children of their own and it seemed an appropriate moment. I'm glad he now has people he can talk to about it.

notsoold Fri 11-Jan-13 23:28:58

Gum...may I offer my hand???( sitting quietly beside you)....
It resonated strongly with me your post, but because I am not good with words I can only offer my hand...

littlepinkfizz Sat 12-Jan-13 10:14:14

Hugs to jbrd, calibee and gum.

Just been reading through last few pages and I'm feeling tearful just reading your experiences. Please take all our support here and know that you will always find an ear to listen to you and and hand to hold here as we'll as endless cake a d tea/coffee.

Take all care ladies. smilesmile

hopefulgum Sat 12-Jan-13 10:27:30

Thankyou for your lovely words and hand-holding. I am fine, though a little wobbly. At least Aunt Flo did the right hing and turned up so there's no more silly doubt that I might actually get a bfp.

I spent the day with my sister traveling to visit our parents - a four hour round trip, gone all day, but not much chance to think about ttc. Which is a good thing. Now I'm back home and taking a minute to catch my breath (visiting my parents is not pleasant,particularly with my sister who they feel the need to chastise because of her life choices. It's "grit your teeth" sort of stuff. Glad we won't be doing that again for some time.)

Thinking about ttc right now, I am resigning myself to maybe not thinking about it this month, though will probably still use the cbfm until the sticks run out. If nothing else it will just help me keep an eye on my cycle so that I don't get all wishfully thinking that my AF is late etc. At some point I think I will feel more able to let it all go entirely, but perhaps not just yet. Baby steps...

catdoctor Sat 12-Jan-13 19:35:06

Hello all, been away since things got a bit 'near the knuckle' on last thread (or last but one?) - I havn't had a chance to read all your news, I'm sorry, but I shall.

As I've dropped off the list, reminder - I'm 44, ttc 8 cycles now, DS 2y5m; one chem preg and I think another non-stickybean last month.

All my 'mummy' friends now had their second or preggers. I'm 45 in March. DH on assorted meds and now his libido and ability to dtd have dropped right off.

I've chances in single figures now I think, so feeling a bit blue.

Advice please on how to face the inevitable - that it isn't going to happen,but despite that I need to keep trying.

catdoctor Sat 12-Jan-13 19:41:40

Jbrd sad

10000Fireflies Sat 12-Jan-13 20:45:08

Just popping in to give Gum a big hug.

Cat I'm not sure if we've been on this thread at the same time, so 'hi', and I feel your pain. It must be very difficult watching all your friends when their second child arrives or they find themselves pregnant again. Keep positive. That's a good start! I'm in a similar position to you age wise - I'll be 44 this summer and every time I BF my lovely little 6 month old DS (DC1) I think about how to get him on to formula and start TTC again. If I can manage another then it's going to knacker me out for a few years as they'll be close in age, but it's the only way to do it!! Does make me sad to think DS could be an only child, but am not giving up on the idea of another, while trying to focus on DS, and really trying to count my blessings and enjoy every moment with him as he is a little, lovely miracle. Oopsy, that was a little bit too much about me, but hope it's helpful to share. The weather's so grim at the moment too, that it's easy to feel a bit blue, esp once Christmas and NY have been and gone. Good luck and keep posting.

How's everyone else doing? FF xx

hopefulgum Sat 12-Jan-13 22:48:10

Good morning all, feeling a bit better about things today. I talked to DH about how his day was with DS yesterday(as I was out until 6) and he said it was fine and they got along really well (perhaps I need to spend more time away, not DH?).

I do think that I'm heading towards finishing up with ttc, but it won't be a cold turkey thing IYKWIM. It is more likely to be a little bit at a timehmm

Hello to catdoctor, I think if you are willing to keep trying, then do so. Would you and DP consider any fertility treatment? I'm not advocating it, because I think in our mid forties it doesn't offer much unless you are doing donor eggs, however, there may be something that could help ( I have been doing this a long time, but I am no expert).

I can't give advice on facing the "inevitable" because I don't quite know how to do it myself. I hope you won't have to come to that.I hope you get your baby. I just wish it could be easier for all of us.

I have tried weighing up the pros and cons of having another baby, and honestly the list of cons is much longer than the pros, but ultimately having a child isn't about practicalities and being logical, it is a matter of the heart,and that is why is becomes so difficult.

At least we have each other here to support one another.thanks

wylie05 Sat 12-Jan-13 23:51:18

Hello Gum i'm glad you are feeling a bit more positive, I've been thinking about you. Not good with words but echo what notsold said.

I keep having the same pros and cons talk with myself but you are completely right in its a heart choice and I can't see that it won't always be in our heads each month - if you know what i mean. I keep thinking about the journalist who found herself pregnant at the age of 47 and think there is still a chance. I am planning trips, looking at work options anything to stop thinking about ttc. I sympathise with catdoctor I am a similar age to you. My husband has now started to work away a lot which is frustrating and upsetting because I feel like I have no control now in ttc - the dates of work can't be changed because of my hormones! Trying to develop a what will be will be attitude. Scared to take extra supplements etc as afraid they may make thing worse? Take care and best wishes to all.

DoctorWhoFan Sun 13-Jan-13 08:25:58

Morning all,

Gum, you most definitely shouldn't leave, unless you find it's the best thing for you. We'd miss you something rotten!

Hope everyone's ok. Glad to hear everything went as well as could be expected JBrd xx

I know how you feel Cat, although I'm trying for my first - at 45! Not my fault it took gorgeous (and shockingly youthful) DP so long to turn up/erm...grow up! He is "only" 14 years younger than me, but I feel frikkin ancient at the moment! As each month goes by, I just feel I'm falling ever closer to the point at which I'll have to admit to myself I'll probably never get the opportunity to be the mother I know I can be sad

I think you're being very brave Gum, at least outwardly, especially as we know on this thread how much you want one last DC. I don't think for one moment I will be able to be so good about it xxx

twentythirteen Sun 13-Jan-13 08:30:08

Happy Sunday ladies, I haven't been on in a while but have been lurking. I'm in need a place to come and sit for a bit (a couple of weeks?). I finally got my positive opk, first since mmc finished 6 weeks ago, have had a proper period two weeks ago so all on track. I got the opk last night, I'd begun to think it wasn't going to come, and I'm still not confident about it as I normally get stronger ovary pains than I've had this month (oh good, so that's the worry, self doubt and symptom spotting starting up nicely then, sooo wouldn't have wanted to do this without them). We were too exhausted after a hard week at work so today's the day. My first dreaded 2ww starts tomorrow. I am going to stop myself from being neurotic as hell with friends and family - hope I don't wear you all out - in fact just ignore my posts.

(40, 3 mc's, no children, tears hair out silently...)

Diege Sun 13-Jan-13 10:26:01

Hell everyone smile. Sorry I've been away for a few days (and missed the bistro yet again - it will have to be cold snacks on the trolley again today). Have had a bit of a stressful week. JOb interveiw was on Wednesday which went very well indeed but I didn't get it - absolutely fine, as has refocused me on my publications and what I need to do to increase them! Very stressed today though as dd3 has been admitted to hospital yesterday and transferred to Alder Hey last night with suspected appendictus, though they are thinking it might be something to do with colic now (apparently children get it too, not just babies - who'd have known?) Poor dh has been with her since yesterday with me holding the fort here.
Sorry not to name check, though I have been reading and thinking about you Gum - what a dilemma.I think I would just carry on with what you've been doing tbh, especially as dh knows there's no contraception being used. Not sure what the alternative would be really, other than not having sex confused And of course you'll be thinking about the right days still...
Hope everyone is well xx

NewPatchesForOld Sun 13-Jan-13 13:32:37

Diege...sorry to hear about your dd, hope she gets better soon.

Well, I feel awful today. I woke up feeling like either a) dp punched me in the face or b) I'd had a stroke. I'd had an earache last night, but this morning my ear, jaw and eye feel like they're going to explode! I can't even touch my ear without crying. The vomiting has ramped up a notch, I was sick 3 times yesterday...I'm now 10dpo so will be testing on Thursday.

Irishmammybread Sun 13-Jan-13 23:07:38

Diege hope your DD is ok now, what a worry for you. The staff at Alder Hey are fantastic and very caring but it's still not somewhere you want to have to spend much time! We're back there this Tuesday with DD1 having her knee operation, finally! That's if they don't cancel again at the last minute.
Sorry you didn't get the job,I was wondering how you'd got on, but as you say it could be all for the best if it makes you refocus on your career,sometimes these things happen for a reason.

catdoctor I'm 45 in February. Sorry I can't really give you any advice on accepting the inevitable,I wish I could. I know what you mean,I too feel with each passing month my chances are dwindling, but you do hear of people older than us conceiving and having a healthy pregnancy so it's still possible. I just hope that if it doesn't happen for me, then over time will come a gradual acceptance,in the meantime I'll just carry on and try not to let ttc take over my life.(Yeah, right!)

gum glad your DH and DS had a good day together, your DH could feel left out if DS makes it obvious he's closer to you,maybe some male bonding was just what they needed!

wylie how frustrating if DH is working away, ttc is complicated enough without additional obstacles.

DrWho who knows,maybe having a young, virile partner at his physical peak will be an advantage in the ttc stakes!

twelve great that your cycle is back to normal, good luck with the 2ww, keep coming on here to post,it helps keep you sane.

patches hope you're feeling a bit better.

fireflies it's lovely to hear your success story and that babyFF is doing well. It is a dilemma when/how to change from breastfeeding to formula,will he drink expressed breast milk from a bottle? My DS and DD1 wouldn't accept a bottle from me but did at nursery. With DD2 because I had longer maternity leave and then was only working part time we didn't try her with a bottle for longer and she refused point blank. She would drink water from a cup but never would take formula, I ended up breast feeding for about 18mths, though just at night towards the end. My periods didn't come back till a few months after I'd stopped breastfeeding completely! If your DS has had 6 mths of breastfeeding it's been really good start for him whatever you decide to do.

hopefulgum Mon 14-Jan-13 05:29:57

Deige, I am sorry to hear that your DD is unwell. How old is she? I hope it is sorted out soon. What a worry for you and DH.

Thanks for your thoughts about me. I am feeling okay about everything. I have not turned on my CBFM, nor have I taken my temperature. I have decided to stop doing those things. However, when I got home from the beach today my clomid had arrived in the mail, and I can tell you I am really tempted to try it. However, it won't be this month, because there's a good chance DH will be away during fertile time, so there's no point. But I am not ruling it out completely...It is something I'll consider carefully. How can I even be sure that the drugs are what they say they are? There's a good chance I'll be chucking it in the binconfused The drugs look like proper drugs, but I did buy them on the net, so who knows???

DS and I had a long morning playing at the beach,so now I feel like an afternoon nap. I just have to convince him that it is a good ideasmile

Hi to everyone elsethanks

greenlizard Mon 14-Jan-13 07:29:55

Morning from a very frosty London (-1c with snow predicted later)....

My phantom pregnancy is over and I thought I would pop on and say hello before rushing off to

gum I really feel for you, I say do what feels right for you at the time in terms of TTC (not sure about the internet clomid though if I am honest!). I was thinking if you can assist your DH and DS in bonding then it might make it feel better for you too? And maybe spending time with just you and you DH? Could you go away for a weekend together? TTC is quite a lonely journey (thank god you are all here to listen to my witterings!) even with my DP's active support so going it alone must be even tougher for feeling good about your relationship with your DH can only help even if you can't share your desire for another baby? Just thoughts. Anyway I think you are very brave and honest and I really do hope you get the baby you want or the peace you need.

I spent some time with my youngest nephew this weekend - he is nearly one and cute as a button. Watching my DP play with him made my desire for a baby even worse (god help me) Anyway it made me a very emotional and then I ended up crying watching Africa - did anyone see Wednesdays episode with the elephant baby - I was a gibbering wreck - nature is extremely cruel. Clearly DP was looking at me like I was demented and had to go get the tissues (another TV programme that I will be banned from watching grin). We had a chat about TTC over the weekend and he said that he will go through IVF treatment if that is what I want but is really worried the strain of it will affect our relationship - so I need to think carefully about that - has anyone been through it or have any advice?

First things first though, acupuncture tomorrow maybe she will be able to jump start my ovaries into something resembling action smile

deige - hope your DD is ok and recovers well - that must have been a hell of a fright!

Off to find the ice scaper. Have a great day ladies....


NewPatchesForOld Mon 14-Jan-13 10:13:06

And a good morning from a snowy east midlands! Although I was so ill in the night I looked out of the window and swore at the snow, rather than my usual jumping up and down in excitement! I've just come back from dr's and it appears that my ear canal is so swollen that she couldn't even get the otoscope (sp?) in to have a look. No wonder I've been in so much pain. Poor DP didn't know what was going on in the middle of the night when he woke to sounds of me sobbing like a felt like an elephant was sitting on the side of my head! So, I now have ear drops and she told me to take anti inflammatories but I don't want to as they are believed to bring a higher rate of mc, just in case I am pg. I didn't tell her I thought I might be...

GreenLizard I have no advice or experience of IVF, but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you; it's lovely that your DP is willing to try it, and I guess as long as you talk lots and pull together the strain may not be as bad as he thinks.

Hopeful I am very envious of you being at the is well below freezing here and snowing. Let us know what you decide to do about the Clomid.

Irish I am in the same boat, I am 45 this year and wonder where do I draw the line? Myself and DP would dearly love a baby together - and it sucks that we didn't meet years ago, but at the same time I don't want to keep going and going as time is not on my side.

Diege how is your DD now? Hopefully the sight of the snow will cheer her up!

twentythirteen how are you faring in your 2ww? It's hellish isn't it? This seems to be the longest one for me so far; I'm now 11dpo and every day is dragging on and on. Obsess post as often as you need to on here, we're all just as bad but very nice grin.

Bblleeuughh...feeling sick again. But I have no idea if it's the ear infection or...

Amberini Mon 14-Jan-13 10:36:33

Morning ladies, can I join this gang? Big big hugs to JBrd. Just joined mumsnet and not really used forums before but such a relief to see all the hopeful posts! Im 42 yo on cycle 3 ttc no 4 (but no 1 with DP) have 3 DS 20, 18 and 17 (must be mad going again) fell really easily with them but obviously very different age. Not sure what to expect this time, charting taking all the recommended supplements - and enjoying trying. Scary though.

NewPatchesForOld Mon 14-Jan-13 10:44:53

Hi Amberini, and welcome. And yes...totally bonkers for starting all over again, haha. I'm in the same boat, 44 cycle no 4 ttc #4 (no 1 with DP). My youngest is 8 though so not as much of a shock to the system as yours will be! My other 2 are 18 and 15.


Amberini Mon 14-Jan-13 10:56:59

So made me smile NewPatchesForOld - bonkers being the word! But babydust to all of us - sure we will cope! At least we are experienced!! x

DoctorWhoFan Mon 14-Jan-13 12:30:14

Hahahaha, irishmammybread! Laughed my head off at what you put about my DP! He would too. He's very broken for his age - very physical job leading to lots of muscle and joint pain, and a DEEPLY unhealthy, boozy lifestyle before he met me. It would be nice to think his age would be a plus factor, but neither of us are counting on it.

Diege honey, I hope your DD is feeling lots better. That must have been pretty alarming for you!

Morning Patches - I'm in the East Mids too. I think it may be in for the day. My poor DP works outside so will be proper grouchy when he gets home tonight! I had a nasty bout of laryngitis last year that gave me a horrid ear infection - DP ended up having to take me to the emergency walk-in docs at the nearest hospital cos it felt like my ear drum was going to burst, so have plenty of sympathy and back rubbing from me, it's truly agony xx

Welcome to the new ladies. On my feckin' tablet again so apologies for the paucity of the name checking.

Back to the kitchen to make cup cakes to cheer up DP when he gets home smile

Sorry about the phantom pregnancy greenlizard, next time lucky hopefully...

JBrd Mon 14-Jan-13 12:39:05

Hello from snowy East Anglia! Quite glad that I don't have to drive to work today, I still haven't got new tyres for my car...
(Sorry, emotional mum alert!) DS looked super-cute this morning, after I had put him in his puffer jacket, like a mini-Michelin man smile

Welcome to the thread, Amberini! Let's hope that you don't have to stay here too long grin

NewPatches your ear infection sounds nasty! Did the GP not give you any antibiotics? Sounds to me as if they are well in order... Just POAS, woman, what are you waiting for?!? Surely, being this ill wouldn't be good, should you be pg. You need some meds in you, pronto!

Diege hope your DD gets better soon! Sounds scary, did they manage to pin down the cause in the end?

twentythirteen Yay to your cycles being back on track!

greenlizard I'm with you on the being an emotional wreck/crying at random things. I came across the elephant mum scenes last week while flicking through the channels, and had to switch channels immediately, as I knew I couldn't bear to watch it. Same for the polar bear family documentary that was on another channel. And One Born Every Minute... Have watched every single series religiously so far, but have no desire whatsoever for the current one.
DH and I watchd 'Up!' last night, lovely film, but within 5min I was a sobbing wreck! Kept bursting into tears again in regular intervals during the rest of the film (but really liked it overall).
I am bad enough with welling up at TV/cinema at the best of times, but I think the hormones are still at loose here...

gum Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit more optimistic! Lots of stuff going on for you, I don't envy you! Having to worry about the DH-DS relationship and trying to decide on what to do about ttc is a lot to handle in one go. Be kind and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
Have you thought about stopping the ttc just for a couple of months and see how you feel about it then? If you give yourself a time-frame to try and stick to, with the firm goal of re-assessing it all again at the end of it, but do nothing while it lasts, maybe that could help you figure out whether you want to continue ttc or actually would be fine with stopping? Sorry for the rambling, I hope this makes sense. Sometimes, when you hit a wall, it helps to step away from the problem completely, to get a better perspective.
(Oh, and I am also very very hmm at meds bought on the internet!! Please be careful!)

I am finally starting to see a light at the end of my tunnel. So so glad that I made the decision to have the surgical ERPC, at least now I know where I (and my body) are at! I have only now realised how stressed I have been in the last few weeks, I feel so relieved and much much calmer. I still get sad and emotional, but find it a lot easier to deal with those moments and am hoping that the healing process will help with the grieving and that I can draw a line under this sad sad episode.

Decided to have this week off work, not so much because I couldn't cope physically, but to make sure that my emotions are coming down from this roller coaster. I don't want to rush because I know that work will intensify any negative feeling/emotion that I might still harbour, so I want to make sure that I have a reasonably thick skin again before going back.
This week, I am going to plan and do nice things - just booked a pedicure and a dinner with some girlfriends (both pregnant, hey-ho...), DH and I want to book a holiday/mini-break, and I want to do lots and lots of baking. Did quite a bit at the weekend already. Come my way if you want cake/biscuits/bread grin

hopefulgum Mon 14-Jan-13 13:56:04

Snow - cor, I'm well jealous!envy Honestly, I am over the hot weather and we've months of it left. This summer has been one of the hottest, if not the hottest I have experienced in my 46 years of being Australian (though I skipped two summers when I lived OS). I am tired of being hot and sweaty and did I mention, hot. I think it's the highest January temperatures in 100 years. And to make it all wonderful, the air conditioning doesn't work in my car angryAnd my face goes a lovely bright pink when I am overheated. lovely...

Jbrd, I think you are right - perhaps doing nothing is a good idea. But, seriously, at this age, it really is a case of running out of time. Having said that, because DH will be away the weekend nearest ovulation, I doubt we'd get much of a run at it anyway, so I will be on cruisey mode this month. And in some ways that feels like a weight has been lifted. I don't have to think about getting the timing right for SWI, nor about symptoms or testing or AF arriving etc. So, yeah, I think I'm taking a break from putting any effort into ttc, however, I am not going out to buy condoms or anything like that.

I really don't think I'll be taking the clomid. It was a momentary lapse of reason when I ordered it. My Dr didn't want to prescribe it for me, she feels it is useless and perhaps detrimental for a woman of my age and when I'm already ovulating. But I'd heard other stuff about it, that it might help produce an egg of better quality, but I'm not sure that's true, otherwise wouldn't it be prescribed for older women ttc all the time?I kind of thought it might be good to use it so that I knew I'd tried everything. However, I'm leaving it alone.I will continue to take my supplements because I spent loads on them and I might as well finish them, but that's all I'll be doing this month.

Jbrd, I am glad to hear you are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It is also good that you're taking some time off work. Look after yourself.

Welcome to Amberini, this is a great place to hang around whilst ttc.

Newpatches - will you just POAS already???? The suspense is killing me. I do hope your ear feels better soon.It sounds ghastly.

Well, it is nearly 10 pm, way past my bedtime. I'm off to bed to read the latest "Womens Health" magazine. I just love tormenting myself with the great articles about slimming down, getting fit and looking 20 years younger (I think all the models in this mag are about 20, and it should be called "Very Young Women's Health"). Envious, me????envy

TinaO99 Mon 14-Jan-13 16:38:16

hi greenlizard I've been through 2 years of fertility treatment culminating in IVF, it can be extremely stressful if only because you constantly seem to be waiting for the next stage of treatment, it can feel like your life is on hold. It did put a strain on our relationship but mainly because I got so upset firstly because of the drugs I had to use but then because of the weight of expectation we had - twice we had to deal with the distress of IUI not working, then with the blunt fact that my eggs were crap. It was only when we made the decision to go the donor route that I felt some of the pressure lift off. Not sure how I would have dealt with the IVF failing, but the clinic I went to were very supportive and offered counselling as part of their service so I think I would have had to take them up on that!

I suppose the best advice I can give if you decide to try it is to expect set backs and prepare yourself how you will deal with things if it doesn't work, also to make sure your partner is completely happy as well with trying IVF and acquaint yourselves with the process and what will happen (or may not happen) thoroughly because it's tough, but also very rewarding (in my case) :-)

NewPatchesForOld Mon 14-Jan-13 17:46:35

Hopeful and JBrd...Ok, just for you I will POAS tomorrow! I did do one today but at 11dpo I got a BFN...I have internet cheapies so will do them daily now and keep you updated!

I've slept most of the day because of this damn ear infection, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I got antibiotic drops from dr btw. But I am happy to report that I just upchucked again rather copiously.

My dsis lives in Oz...and she said the heat is unbearable at the moment. She was right in the line of attack from the bush fires, and had had the 'catastrophic warning' by text.

Timer's just gone off for dinner...not sure I can face it

twentythirteen Mon 14-Jan-13 17:52:07

Neurotic nose popping in for a hello. OPk is now quite clear (i.e. negative) but still had an ovary pain today... (don't focus on it, don't focus on it!). And I looked up what this one's birth date would be (yes, I did, I'm hopeless, honestly). A good friend asked me yesterday if we were back to ttc yet and I lied. I'm normally such an open book with those losest to me but I just can't stand the thought of being the one who discovered too late that she wanted a family and just had a string of sorry mc's instead, so the future of my womb action will be between OH and me (and you lot) and I'm preparing everyone for the possibility that we might have stopped ttc for a while by mentioning, when they ask, about the genetic testing and implying that we might not be able to.

Newpatches, I'd presumed that it was the way of this thread to be so cool and laid back about not poas'ing, "Me, What? Oh, you know, dpo 11 (blows on finger nails)", but since others have since responded I can add my shock to the bunch! (Perhaps you've been justly otherwsie occupied, sounds very painful, hope it eases soon).

Jbird I know that stress of the weeks leading up the event. I also took more time off than I strictly needed, I just wanted to get myself back. Hope all your baking and lovely things does you some good.

Doctor, perhaps we can compare notes, my OH is 12 years older than me! I imagine our sperm meeting egg scenario is a bit of a retirement home style celebration with his sperm using a walker, slowly, and my egg sticking her teeth in to make herself more attractive.

Hi Amberini!

Diege I did not know older children could get colic, hope she's on the up.

NewPatchesForOld Mon 14-Jan-13 19:26:07, I'm not cool and laid back! I just hate disappointment and am loathe for anyone to overhear me swearing at a sliver of cardboard because it doesn't have the right amount of pink stripes on! But I will test tomorrow morning, I promise. I also have looked to see what the delivery date would be IF I were pg this time...Sept 30th. So it's not just you! lol.

Isabeller Mon 14-Jan-13 19:27:23

Want say hi and wave after reading of everyones recent trials and tribulations. Really feel for you hopeful although a tiny bit envy at thought of sunshine despite the fact that I melt in moderate heat.

I have a car thing too JBrd and hoping that the parts will arrive to fix it tomorrow despite whole country being buried in light sprinkling avalanche of snow otherwise will be in big trouble with DMum and DBrother who I'm supposed to be giving a lift to hospital on Wednesday. What will actually happen is will fix car then DM will decide to cancel appointment as it's too cold..

Downregulating injection last week made me feel really awful for a few days but mostly ok now, baseline scan this Friday. DP and I both getting as worked up as possible so as to take full advantage of opportunity for extreme emotional rollercoaster ride wink

best wishes to all and fingers crossed

Diege Mon 14-Jan-13 22:26:48

Hello! Just an update on dd3 (age 7) and her tummy pain. Turned out after a scan today that she had a twisted ovary shock so has had keyhole surgery this afternoon. They managed to save it and pin it back so it won't twist back again, but all very scary. No fear compares to waiting for your child to come out of surgery, so I've learned.
Anyway, good news and I'll sleep well tonight. Bloody womens' bits eh, they don't give us a moments peace grin

JBrd Mon 14-Jan-13 22:46:04

Diege - glad to hear your DD is OK, you must be so relieved! I agree about the bloody women's bits! You'd wish they wouldn't have to experience any issues with them at such a young age! Does a 7-year-old even understand what ovaries are (no offence to your DD, no idea how knowledgeable kids are at that age, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had a clue!)
Fingers crossed she recovers quickly!

hopefulgum Mon 14-Jan-13 22:56:31

OMG, Deige, who would have thought a child of 7 would have a twisted ovary???shock I am so glad she is out of surgery. You poor thing. I hope her recovery is easy.

Isabeller, it is a highly emotional roller-coaster that you are on. I hope you can take time to look after yourself and DH, perhaps you could get a massage/reflexology/acupuncture to help you relax during this time? I've got everything crossed for you.

Newpatches, where does your DSis live? The fires have been terrifying, I hope she's out of danger now.Sorry about your BFN, but it is early days and you are still having good symptoms (if you can call throwing up "good").

It is forecast to be hot again today, but right now it is pleasantly cool. I might take a walk on the beach and a swim before I head out to acupuncture later this morning. Looking forward to

10000Fireflies Mon 14-Jan-13 22:57:11

Blimey Diege. Hope she recovers quickly. Big hugs.

10000Fireflies Mon 14-Jan-13 22:57:56

Evening All, especially newbies. Nice to see lots of lovely new ladies on here.

Wylie with your DH away, is there any facility where you could have his sperm frozen and stored? Just a thought. And supplements needn't be scary or make things worse. I took a huge amoungs of vits and weird supps and who knows, they could have been responsible for DS snuggled up next to me?

Re supps and top tips etc, did anyone get round to setting up another thread to post top tips on so we have a place to chat here on this thread and then a resources list? Want to check first before doubling up on things. Could someone let me know please? If there isn't one then I will set up soon and post my top tips and it would be great if people like Gum, Lol (if you're still with us out there), to name but two, could do the same as there is a wealth of knowledge here. I know we have all tried different things - Lol I know felt DHEA was great, whereas I wasn't keen, but some of you might thing Royal Jelly is a waste of money.

DoctorwhoFan just have to say - am totally in awe of your bagging a partner 14 years your junior. I really hope you do get that golden egg soon.

twentythirteen please take it easy on yourself. You're on 40!! That is very young by many of our standards. Good luck with getting a good, strong, sticky bean soon, and keep posting. That's what we're here for. In my experience it's better to post on forums like this than have all your TTC trials and tribulations out there in RL - gets way tooooo oppressive.

Newpatches hope your ear infection clears up soon.

Irish thanks for the top tips. I'll see if I can get round to expressing.

greenlizard yes - have done IVF x 2 cycles. Both failed but wonder if it kick-started 'things' as I conceived the month after 2nd cycle failed. Happy to help with any questions you may have.

Amberini welcome also and good luck. Your story is quite similar to many others on here - those with children already but not with current DP. Glad you're enjoying trying!!!

jbrd big hug for you. Really impressed with how you're bouncing back.

I'm tired, time to get some sleep. Sweet dreams all. FF xx

greenlizard Tue 15-Jan-13 07:34:03

Morning from a damp, gloomy London. Looks like the rain is coming back!

hopeful I used to live in HK and completely understand how oppressive the heat can be especially when it is humid too (I had terrible hair all the time because it was so humid!)...but when you tell us you are going for a stroll down the beach in the morning and a swim in the sea...well it's no wonder we are all a bit envy! Grass is always greener of course. Hope you enjoyed your acupuncture - you inspired me to try it so I am off for my first appointment this evening. Not sure I planned the appointment well because I have an appointment for a bikini wax at the beauticians afterwards - which isn't entirely relaxing!

diege a twisted ovary - ouch! Do they even know how that happened? Glad they figured it out and got it sorted with no risk. Can't believe you poor DD is being bothered by her lady bits already! At 7 I bet she will bounce back in no time.

jbrd Good for you for taking some time to rest and feel a bit stronger. Work can be a bit rough if you are feeling a bit wobbly and it would take you longer to recover. Good luck with your bake off - I am sure you family and friends are appreciating the output smile I also love the film up but it has the saddest first fifteen minutes of a film i have ever seen. I especially love the daft dog - brilliant!

Thank you Tina99 and Firefiles for you advice on IVF - I am going to think about it (whilst trying everything else in my power!) - I hope you don't mind if I ask you questions if I have any?

Welcome to Amberini and welcome back twentythirteen I don't think we've met <waves>

Get well soon Patches - I burst an ear drum a few years ago - it really, really hurt but the infection before hand felt like my head was going to explode.


Diege Tue 15-Jan-13 08:56:37

Thanks for your messages ladies! Off to Alder Hey now (will be eyeing up every 40 plus lady to see if they are Irish who I think is also there today? grin

Diege Tue 15-Jan-13 08:57:20

Not that any of us look 40 of course so will widen stalking to 30 grin

Isabeller Tue 15-Jan-13 09:40:40

Crikey Diege hope your daughter feels better soon, thank goodness they worked out what it was.

Thank you for the suggestions hopeful. Car parts arrived smile and it's cold but sunny so here goes.

littlepinkfizz Tue 15-Jan-13 09:45:05

Nope she gets better soon diege who'd have thought you could get a twisted ovary at 7? X

DoctorWhoFan Tue 15-Jan-13 10:23:50

Blimey Diege, what a nightmare! You must have been worried out of your skin. Glad they found out what it was though and got it sorted out.

To be fair FF, I didn't really do anything, although I may have been wearing a low cut dress of some description - I have good bras, giving the impression (only the impression, mind) of still having a cracking rack! Otherwise, I'm still pretty tomboyish, a bit overweight, and mad as a box of frogs, so I've no idea why he thought I was a good bet! Telling your young boyfriend, for whom you're his first serious girlfriend that you have bipolar is probably one of the scariest things I've done, but I didn't want him to get too involved before I told him. To his massive credit, he didn't bat an eyelid and has coped brilliantly through several periods of utterly black depression. And yet men I've dated of my own age over the years have run a mile when I've told them.

He's very special...and I'm quite long-suffering of him spending a good portion of the time we get together at weekends when he's actually conscious, shooting at a farm with his mate. I generally don't go because I'm a better shot than him - years of practice doing drive by shootings on Grand Theft Auto!! You know, I think I have a few too many y chromosomes grin

NewPatchesForOld Tue 15-Jan-13 11:15:21

Morning lovelies

DoctorWhoFan..your post made me laugh. My DD1 also has far too many Y chromosomes...her xmas list included Thor, Dark Knight Rises, The makes her very popular with boy mates though, lol.

Diege Your poor DD, it's bad enough that we have to deal with all things reproductive when we're older, but for her to have to cope with that so young. How is she doing? Is she ok in herself? (What does that phrase even mean???)

GreenLizard That'sexactly how my ear has felt, like it was going to explode. Then last night the most violent stabbing pains were going through it. I figured it was either getting better or was about to burst. The swelling seems to have gone down though a bit but it's still horribly painful.

Hopeful She is in NSW, about 200 miles south of Sydney. When I spoke to her last the fires were about 15 mins away from her - she was hosing her house down and clearing the gutters etc. Fingers crossed it's passed her by. Just to make you feel even better, it's soooo cold today, I live in a thatched house and there are huge icicles hanging from the thatch. Very picturesque but deathly cold. The paths are like ice rinks. I did POAS this morning but it was a BFN again. I am 12dpo so should be getting a + around now but I will stick it out until AF is due and then check again. They are the internet cheapies...I have a clearblue digital but I have read they are not too sensitive so might keep that until if I get a bfp just for the thrill of seeing the words!!!

Stay warm and safe girls


DoctorWhoFan Tue 15-Jan-13 12:40:26

Haha Patches...I have those films. DP was so relieved when I said "anything with explosions and car chases" when he suggested the flicks the first time. He knows he's lucky to have a low-maintenance girlfriend who doesn't mind spending date night with a gun in her hand trying to get rabbits for the pot!

NewPatchesForOld Tue 15-Jan-13 13:13:40

Oh, and Iron Man...she luuuurves him (but then again who wouldn't.....? lol)

twentythirteen Tue 15-Jan-13 14:30:56

Diege I didn't know that was possible. Hope your DD feels better soon. And for looking out for 40 ish year olds, what do you all think of yourselves? I feel I have a young mind and a reasonably healthy body but my hair is really going grey now and my knees won't last my lifetime!

I had another ovary twinge today so of course I'm hoping that sperm has met egg and is causing a kafuffle as it makes its way along. We were only able to dtd once though (damn busy schedules coinciding with positive opks!), our chances are therefore slim. Having said that though, two of my pregnancies were from one off dtd's so I'm not so conderened about that.

DoctorWho, I'm also quite low maintanace (although am not fond of the term!) and am into a lot of typically boy type films, sci fi, action. My OH gave me the Hunger Games trilogy for christmas and I could not put them down, very action oriented but a wonderful strong female lead character who isn't just super confident and all knowing but gets things done!

Greenlizzard I laughed at the order of your appts, acupuncture and then a wax, ouch! Or maybe you'll be more prepared to manage the discomfort?!

Thanks 1000FF, I do try to take it easy, we do get pregnant and that's really great, I know, but for whatever reason I haven't been able to sustain it and I did look at my 2013 diary and just think "how many mc's will I be fitting in this year?" Tannks for offering to do a list of tips, will read it with relish!

Hopeful, wow, a swim in the warmth envy!

Isabeller, I don't understand about the injection but hope you're feeling better soon. brew

DoctorWhoFan Tue 15-Jan-13 16:48:14

Well, my body's buggered, twenty. And I've been going grey since I was 21, runs in the family. And as for the knees, i used to run, but ended up with crappy cartilage and double knee surgery 6 years ago which didn't work. Oh, and I suspect that my ancient ovaries are going to rob me of a DC. On the plus side...erm...there is one, right? Oh yeah, there's my DP, without whom my life would utterly suck. And at 6'4", he's a sizeable plus side!

Please all feel free to vomit copiously, apart from Patches who has been doing so for days in any case! grin

CaliBee Tue 15-Jan-13 17:39:15

Hey ladies....hand holding needed.
I have been around and smiling at your stories, but not posted as it didnt seem right to jump in and winge about my situation.
However...this morning I woke up to brownish discharge which seemed to stop but I'm now feeling a sore period-type pain and noticed red blood when I went to toilet. Its not looking good is it??
I rang EPAU this morning but they didnt really want to know and just said come on Monday as arranged for the scan. So I booked a private scan for tomorrow afternoon. However if this progresses it seems pointless paying £75 for bad news sad.
DP is away on adventure training this week so the message I sent him has only just got to him and when he called he had to hang up after 5 mins.
I'm bracing myself for the worst tonight. Just me and DS (15) in the house.
I'm so scared......

DoctorWhoFan Tue 15-Jan-13 17:58:10

Oh Calibee honey...I'm so sorry. Awful to be having to cope with that on your own. Virtual hand holding xx

Diege Tue 15-Jan-13 18:15:41

Oh calibee I'm so sorry you're facing this, and without dp too sad. What a rollarcoaster you've been on (and are still on). At least the scan tomorrow will give you some answers and, if it is bad news (and it may not be of course) you will slowly be able to mentally take it in before Monday where you can discuss options. I really feel for you - I have been in the same situaiton twice and it is really, really cruel sad.
ON a happier note dd3 is home and recovering VERY fast indeed; dare I say milking it a little grin. I'm not complaining though!

CaliBee Tue 15-Jan-13 18:23:05

Thankyou ladies...very much appreciated. Feeling very tearful and super sorry for myself.
So glad your little girl is home Diege....the worst part of parenting for me is when they are ill x

littlepinkfizz Tue 15-Jan-13 18:28:31

Another hand available for holding calibee by the fire with a big mug of hot chocolate x

remnant Tue 15-Jan-13 18:28:57

CaliBee, I'm so sorry! Will be thinking of you tomorrow x

Glad your brave little daughter is making a fast recovery Diege.

NewPatchesForOld Tue 15-Jan-13 18:36:57

You feel as sorry for yourself as you like calibee...I hope things settle down for you though. Does DS know what's going on? My DS is also 15 and is my rock, he is a great support in so many things. Shocking that you have to go private for a scan - it's such a horrendous thing to wait out. I've been there Calibee so I empathise so much. Please post as much as you need, won't you?

Diege That's great news that DD is home and recovering, and milking it! You know they're getting better when they do that. I have a sick house at the moment...both DDs have horrendous coughs, and DS is complaining of a sore ear (hope this isn't catching), and I have just been sick again. We're an attractive lot, lol.

On a happy note may I take the time to boast that DD1 passed her driving test today? was her first time too, so am very very proud of her grin.

CaliBee Tue 15-Jan-13 18:45:28

newpatches aww well done to your DD. Both of my eldest now drive DD1 nearly got banned in her 1st year for speeding twice and dd2 passed this time last year and wrote off her little KA in August...raa. She has now got a clio but is struggling to meet insurance costs.
My DS does know and I have (with a brave face) told him whats going on today. I'm just worried that if things get worse it may scare him...only one bathroom here. So wish DP was here.....sniff sniff...more tears. I so wanted his baby. I know it seems like I'm thinking the worst but this rollercoaster has been going on for over 3 weeks now. It doesnt feel like anything good can come from it.

Morien Tue 15-Jan-13 19:45:10

Another hand here, CaliBee - I know how it feels, and I've got everything crossed for you. I can't believe you've got to get a private scan either. Things work differently here in Belgium - when I started spotting I called my gyne at home in the evening (because that's what you do here) and she said, 'Come in whenever you can tomorrow and I'll squeeze you in for a scan between patients'.

Glad your DD is recovering, Diege - and congratulations to yours, patches!

CaliBee Tue 15-Jan-13 20:23:47

Thankyou morien....i guess I could call EPAU in the morning and explain that the bleeding has progressed and see what they say.
Just spoke to DP again and he told me he told his brother about the pregnancy....why oh why did he feel the need to tell him that now??? He didnt understand why I dissolved into tears again.
Bleeding is still only just when I go to the toilet...not making its way to pad yet. Is this typical pf how it all starts?

CaliBee Tue 15-Jan-13 20:25:39

thankyou pink x

Irishmammybread Tue 15-Jan-13 21:24:08

CaliBee have a hand and a hug, so sorry you're going through this and especially when DP is away.I think if the EPAU still wont see you in the morning it probably is worth having the private scan, if it's good news it will be peace of mind, if not they may refer you straight to the EPAU. When no heartbeat was seen on my private scan they gave me a written report and phoned the EPAU to say I needed to be seen, which I was straight away.
It doesn't sound like your bleeding is very heavy. I bled twice for a few days each time,at 9 weeks and 15 weeks ,with dd2 but she was fine. With my miscarriages the early one started like a period but was just heavier and more painful.The one at 11 weeks started with light spotting and it was 5 days before heavy bleeding started and a further 2 days before the sac passed. The one at 12 weeks started with pains for a few days and then a big gush of blood with no spotting first, but still another 2 days before the sac came so I don't know if there's a typical pattern really. Some bleeding doesn't necessarily signal the end of the pregnancy, I suppose the scan is the only way to find out .
It must be some comfort that your DS knows and is with you .
Thinking of you xxx

CaliBee Tue 15-Jan-13 21:32:31

Irish thankyou for being so open about your miscarriages. It really does seem that everyone is different. I am still holding out a little hope that this bleeding will ease off and all will be ok. xx

greenlizard Tue 15-Jan-13 22:09:48

Calibee – I am so sorry you are going through this – I extend my hand for you to clutch whenever. I really hope it works out for you (I know you are justifiably worried but it might be OK… I hear of people cramping and bleeding in early pregnancy all the time). I will keep everything crossed and send positive messages to each and every entity I can think off. It must be so tough doing it alone without DP and having to consider your DS too. I would definitely call the unit in the morning and explain your situation (and there is nothing wrong with exaggerating your point to get the service you need. If you don’t get anywhere then at least you can go to the private scan later in the day).

Diege – so pleased your DD is working out how to play her situation – she is clearly feeling better!

This evening I have been to have my acupuncture, which I found to be weird rather than relaxing…but I did feel quite calm afterwards despite having electricity being run through needles stuck in my abdomen and feet! The lady I went to see has many years’ experience and is also a GP (which I am sure is quite unusual) and we had a really good chat about trying to conceive at my (therefore our!) grand old age.

She didn't bat an eyelid at my quest for a baby and went through my medical history, diet and lifestyle with a fine tooth comb before treatment. Her advice was this: no booze, no salt, little sugar, lots of fibre, lots of fruit and veg, moderate exercise, sleep and relaxing and lots of “good quality” sex (i.e. Don’t be having sex just to conceive as this is contrary to intimacy and therefore a stressor). No surprises there really except I kept thinking, I don't even have any kids and I can't manage that lot! I could put more effort into my overall wellbeing than I do, so I will be trying harder on that front. Apparently by turning up on her couch at CD9 I was perfectly timed to prepare for ovulation. She wants to see me on Saturday and then no more this cycle. We shall see.........

My appointment with the beautician was more painful smile but entertaining as we were discussing dating at the age of 40 (therapist is 10 months divorced and has just started dating again)…reminded me of my own experience of internet dating and how lucky I am to have met my DP. I also got my eyelashes tinted on a whim and they look great. So all in all, I have had a day that has been quite good fun (if cold!) and very productive. wink


Ps. Drwhofan – your DP sounds fabulous! envy - moi?

hopefulgum Tue 15-Jan-13 22:11:20

I have only just seen this Calibee. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can have some answers soon, as I know the waiting and not knowing is so difficult. Do you have someone who can go to the scan with you? I know your DP can't be with you, but having someone there to hold your hand might be a good idea.

I am a bit shock that the EPAU won't see you ASAP. It is rather cruel to make you wait until your appointment. In Australia they got me scanned as soon as I spoke to the doctor. I have had scans when I've been bleeding and had perfectly healthy babies, but I've also had miscarriages, and the only way to know for sure is to have the scan. Both my miscarriages started with brown discharge and actually didn't have red blood until later, it may have been after the ERPC (but in both cases they were "missed" miscarriages). With both my daughters I had red blood from the start and all was fine.

I've got everything crossed for you.

Irishmammybread Tue 15-Jan-13 22:23:54

Deige maybe we passed each other in the hall at Alder Hey today!
We could have gone for a coffee in the canteen(decaff of course just in case!)
I was the small lady(5'1'') in jeans with longish brown hair(courtesy of my friend the hairdresser who disguises the grey) ,a fringe to cover up forehead wrinkles and a worried's not much fun when your child has a general anaesthetic and surgery is it.
I'm glad your DDs surgery went well and she's recovering at home now.
My DD got on ok, not so dramatic when it's scheduled surgery rather than an emergency like you had to go through!
She has a huge dressing on her leg and needs to keep her leg elevated as much as possible for the next few days, she can walk but it's painful so I'll be doing a lot of fetching and carrying! She can't get her knee wet for 2 weeks until we see the consultant again so showering and hair washing will be a bit of a challenge but if it's successful and she can start to play sport again it will be worth it.

JBrd Tue 15-Jan-13 22:24:59

CaliBee - another hand from me to hold and lots of hugs, too! It's awful, this waiting game, and its so damn hard to stay positive! I'd also say, go for the private scan, if it gives you peace of mind. You'll at least know where you stand, that is worth so much, in any case.
Have you got any friends or relatives closer by for some 'real' handholding...?

Sorry for not more name checking, I'm shattered. Had to pick DS up for the childminder early today, as he had thrown up. Which he continued to do about every half hour after we got home confused His tummy was clearly troubling him, and after every puke he wanted a cuddle - before we could change his clothes shockshockshock So I'm going to have a shower now that he's finally managed to go to sleep!

He knows of course that I've booked a manicure tomorrow that I will now have to cancel. And DH is buggering off North for a business trip overnight tomorrow! Told him, if DS is still throwing up, he can't go wink

twentythirteen Tue 15-Jan-13 22:53:24

Calibee, holding out hope for you here too.

Isabeller Tue 15-Jan-13 23:52:43

Thinking of you Calibee xx

Congratulations to your DD NewPatches and so pleased to hear your DD is bouncing back Diege.

twentythirteen I'm having my first attempt at IVF with Donor Eggs and the injection I had last week induced an immediate artificial menopause. I'm going for a scan on Friday to see if everything has shut down and then my hormones will be controlled by the clinic to synchronise me and the anonymous egg sharer who will be having IVF at the same time (the idea is that as she has no fertility problems but her husband does she is likely to produce more eggs than she needs so will share them with me).

Sending fragrant thoughts your way JBrd thanksthanksthanks

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 04:32:33

Its silly-o-clock in the morning...what would I do without you all eh?
Thanks for keeping me company through this.
I have go through 2 glasses of water through the night and my mouth still feels like this another anxiety symptom I wonder.
I feel like a bit of a wuss tbh, I'm usually so strong, its how people know me but for some reason I'm caving on the inside this time.
Anyway at this moment I cant feel any pain and the bleeding just now was no more than a vague pinkish stain on the tissue (sorry for tmi)....oh please please to whatever entity power that be, please give this little one a chance.
hopeful sadly I dont really know anybody I could ask to come with me (how sad) I think it would be too much for my mum (her twin sister went into hospital in the last week for a bowel ressection) ..I'm sure my sister would come but shes a bit of a distance away.
jbrd I hope you have had a peaceful night with DS...sounds like the dreadful norovirus...bleughhh, finger crossed you dont get it too.

DoctorWhoFan Wed 16-Jan-13 06:52:19

How are you doing Calibee?

You're not a wuss. I'll bet like me you're able to be strong for other people, and people always think you'll not have any problems being strong for yourself when in actual fact you need as much support as anyone else when things go tits up. I don't blame you for caving, I'd be exactly the same. Although, your last post sounded a bit more positive in that there was less blood, so fingers crossed...

Isabeller Wed 16-Jan-13 08:44:20

Dear Callibee, I hope you have contacted your sister. Will be keeping you in mind all day xx

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 08:44:53

DrWho thankyou for asking. And yes you got it totally right..we are the same. For me I think it comes from bringing children up alone and being quite an unconventional character anyway....I always do what my Mom would sniff at ....bless her.
My DS popped his head round the door earlier to see if I wanted anything....he may be a pain at times but he really does care.
I seemed to have turned into a total pessimist over the last three weeks.... I think optimism has its place but I have come to the conclusion that preparing for the worst will make the blow easier.....and good news would be a fantastic bonus.
I have decided to wallow in bed for a couple of hours this somehow gives me the feeling of control lol.

notsoold Wed 16-Jan-13 08:50:30 rest sweetheart!!! Thinking of you today..xx

hopefulgum Wed 16-Jan-13 09:06:33

Calibee, I hope you are getting plenty of rest. Let us know how it goes today.

Greenlizard, nice to hear about your acupuncture appointment, and that she didn't think it unusual or impossible to have a baby at your age. It can be a bit weird at first. Though I do remember my first time having acupuncture and I had a pretty amazing reaction to it. I felt a rush of warmth from the toes up when she put the needles in my toes. I don't have as obvious a reaction these days. I've been going for about 5 years regularly and I think it helps me feel calm, relaxed and I don't get sick too often. I've only had the electric thingy once, to help induce labour, but it didn't make much difference.I have also had the treatment with burning herbs ("moxibustion") which was weird, but nice.

My practitioner says that acupuncture isn't for everyone, not everyone responds to it, but personally I think it is amazing. I just wish it was the magic answer to getting pregnant and staying pregnant cos if it was, I'd be playing with a toddler right now. But who knows, perhaps without it I wouldn't have my DS?

Jbrd, I do hope your Little One is feeling better soon. How awful for you both.

Deige, I am glad things went well for your DD, and you too, Irishmammy.

Amberini Wed 16-Jan-13 09:06:35

Just been on a big catch up here. Calibee will be thinking of you all day too, everything crossed! Congratulations to your DD NewPatches, I've two who drive and one learning, gives me heart attacks every time they go out, especially in this weather but they are probably better drivers than me! Can't believe what your DD has been through Diege but please to hear she's on the mend. Think it's bad enough as an adult woman, let alone a 7 yo!

And just a big BIG good luck to all of us, so many different stages and experiences going on here. I read Zita West's book last night (cover to cover) in about 3 hours (not desperate at all) (smile)! First month I've been charting, I think I'm now 2 DPO - but who knows. Everything crossed!! xx

sparklysapphire Wed 16-Jan-13 11:25:46

Calibee, thinking of you today, & very much hoping you have good news.
JBrd, glad it all went well on Friday, & you are continuing to recover. I think you're very wise not to be at work this week.
I'm on my phone so this is just a quick post, I'll catch up properly tomorrow.

JBrd Wed 16-Jan-13 16:09:29

Thinking of you,CaliBee!

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 16:18:05

hello ladies.....
It wasn't good news. They have diagnosed a mmc.
Feeling very sorry for myself.
I have to think about how I want it managed and go armed with my thoughts to Monday's appointment at epau.....if mother nature is kind she will sort t before then.

Irishmammybread Wed 16-Jan-13 16:24:26

CaliBee I'm so sorry it wasn't a better outcome for you, I was hoping you'd have good news this afternoon. It's just devastating , I know how you feel.
Sending you a big hug,look after yourself xxx

JBrd Wed 16-Jan-13 16:25:08

Oh, CaliBee, I am so so sorry hmm How horrid that this had to happen, my heart goes out to you.
Be kind to and take care of yourself in this difficult time!

littlepinkfizz Wed 16-Jan-13 18:07:35

So sorry to hear your news calibee

Big , big hugs x

lotsofcheese Wed 16-Jan-13 18:14:36

Big hugs from me too, Calibee. I'm so, so sorry - life is very unfair sometimes. You have lived with such uncertainty the last wee while.

In terms of your options, I've had 2 erpc's & found them absolutely fine, can't comment on other options as have only had that.

Please take time to care for yourself. Hoping your dp can be with you soon for moral support xxx

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 18:27:52

Thankyou cheese, pink, jbrd and irish

I'm home alone...again. I have informed work, just told them I would be back when I'm back.
Dp managed a 2 min phone call, with lads laughing and joking in the background where he sounded cold and distant....didnt even have chance to discuss what had happened. Why do I feel so damn angry??? Angry with him for not being here, angry with my body for letting me down, angry with the army for making him put them first.
I want to pack my bags and run.....sniff sad

Morien Wed 16-Jan-13 18:51:56

I'm so sorry to hear your news CaliBee. I'm sorry you don't have your DP by your side as well - horrible to go through this without him there. Thinking of you.

greenlizard Wed 16-Jan-13 19:34:03

Ah Calibee so sorry it didn't turn out to be better news sad. You have every right to be feeling angry - I hope mother nature treats you better this weekend.

As for your DP, I am sure that he has no idea how to deal with this situation so far away from you (as well as dealing with his feelings)..that he can't be there with you and supporting you might make him feel a bit useless.

Big hugs.

DoctorWhoFan Wed 16-Jan-13 19:39:26

Oh Calibee, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. There are no words that I can say that will make you feel any better.

Hard for you especially with the situation with your DP. It's completely normal to feel angry in this kind of situation, you just have to allow yourself to go through all the emotions until you come out the other side. Just remember it's not your DP's fault that he's away while this is happening. It's completely sucky that he is, and it's probably very difficult for him to talk to you with all the other young guys bouncing around in the background.

When's he next home?

Hang in there honey. Do you have anyone to keep you company tonight so you're not alone? Xx

DoctorWhoFan Wed 16-Jan-13 19:41:12

Greenlizard said it so much better than me Calibee re your DP...

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 19:46:18

Thanks lizard and DoctorWho

I feel ashamed at being angry with him now blush. I confess I feel a little that if he spoke to his corporal and explained , they may give him some space to make a call to me. When I gently suggested that this may help yesterday...he made it clear that he wasnt going to do that incase the corporal took the mick. Personally I would be seething if this was the case. But it has made me wonder if maybe he is avoiding me and/or the situation. Afterall he is having the time of his life mountaineering and caving. He is saying he is going to come down at the weekend....however with the snow thats been forecast I'm not sure its a good idea. The train journey takes 4 hours as it could be twice that.

captivatingtears Wed 16-Jan-13 19:46:21


I was on another strand and was told to hop over here!

I wonder if any of you can answer a quick question. I'm 43, still having periods (irregular - can be 16 days apart, 35 days, 25 etc), with good progesterone and oestrogen levels (v high oestrogen) although low testosterone.

However my AMH test was awful - 0.09

My blood tests don't suggest menopause is imminent but the AMH tests suggest I have so few eggs that menopause is very much on its way.

I don't really understand it - am I misinterpreting the info?


CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 19:47:45

Its just me here tonight. Dd2 is working until 11ish and and Ds is in his room....thats his cave lol

twentythirteen Wed 16-Jan-13 19:48:45

Calibee, that's heartbreaking news, i'm so sorry to hear it, and that your oh is so far away right now both physically and emotionally, big big hugs.

twentythirteen Wed 16-Jan-13 19:50:54

Isabeller, that's fascinating to me, I don't know anything about it arms Wii look forward to hearing how it goes, good luck!!!

greenlizard Wed 16-Jan-13 20:20:41

captivatingtears I personally can't help you interpret your results as I don't know a great deal about it but there are plenty of wiser ladies on here who might be able to help you. I am just starting to have my blood tests so will be interested in any advice you get.

So no help at all but just wanted to say hello and welcome to the thread!

Good luck

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 21:37:06

captivatingtears Hi there...
Just a quicky from amh was "negligible" at about 0.3 or something...basically a shit count. I never had oestrogen count but my cd3 fsh was 20...basically shit too. My cycles had become irregular and long...genrally about 40 days. However I did go on to get a BFP on clomid in the first month. Sadly its not ending well but it just goes to show it can happen.

CaliBee Wed 16-Jan-13 21:39:00

Had a long chat with DP...he admitted to feeling a bit emotinally detached just now. Guess I have to admire his honesty. I so hope the weather doesnt stop him getting to me at the weekend. I think its important to both of us and the development of our relationship to at least have sometime together whilst this is going on.