The End is Nigh! Batten down the hatches in the BESH Bunker

(1000 Posts)
FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 10:15:34

A wordy fred title I know, but it's too early to think of something snappier!

Get ready for the end of the world: grab your OFRS, your emergency gin supply and join us shrivelled harridans in the BESH Bunker.

Admittance is only permitted on production of a successfully completed BESHtionnaire (hint, check out previous BESH threads)

<slips out of slinky Bond Girl evening gown & dons camouflage gear, complete with scary SAS-looking face paint>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 10:31:17

<scuttles in avoiding mortar shells>

Where do I put the booze? We may as well go out on a high.

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 10:40:13

Booze! Gin! Is it too early for mulled wine (in the year - not in the day)? MATV always says he knows what to do in a zombie apocolypse. He said he might even look after me <swoon> I'm such a lucky girl confused.

So - window cleaners have appeared next door and seem to be doing a much better job than the creepy pervert who did my windows a few weeks back. I didn't realise how bad they were until he'd gone but he really did do a pathetic job. He said he'd be back in January so he'll be getting a big fat no when he asks to do them again.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 10:46:54

I don't need my windows cleaned. Because it NEVER FUCKING STOPS CUNTING RAINING <yells>

I am one of those poor childless women sitting in front of Made in Chelsea on a Saturday morning, still in my dressing gown, listening to the rain. Pitter patter, pitter patter.

A good apocalypse would cheer me up no end.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 11:01:14

<dons hard hat and combats>

Morning all. We have a window cleaner. MSB resents it in We live in a bungalow, we could do it ourselves way. Except he didn't, ever. We'd been here 3 years when I hired the window cleaner. In that time is done them several times despite being too short to really reach. He took over, once. hmm

bluer Sat 24-Nov-12 11:11:18

<runs in sporting a fetching flak vest and all-In-one camouflage number>

Oh we live in a bungalow and mr. df objects to the window cleaner...who costs a whopping £5.50...on the grounds that we could do them ourselves. We? Read I pays it!

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 11:13:57

jesus christ, I'm also in pjs still at the moment and have just been through the bills. Now, we have quite a bit of expenditure because we are paying off a loan and some bits on credit cards, that's fine. It's all manageable but we've agreed to get rid of said loan and cards once and for all and are ploughing money into that. However, I just racked up what we spent on food. average over the last three months - £650 a month. That doesn't include going out. Just food we eat at home. That is an insane amount! I know prices are going up but fucking hell. MATV eats like a trouper, crazy amounts because he trains every day so eats everything in sight so nothing goes to waste but shit a brick! No wonder we always have to top up the joint account midway through the month.

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 11:27:58

<locks and loads> Take it, babydust bitches.

Droid is here! First one since methotrexate, which means that next egg will be free free freeeeee from the bad drug taint. I think this means I am allowed to do the sechs again.

Pouring here as well. Lucky I have a nice big camouflage jacket to snuggle up in. That cocktail dress would have been decidedly nippy.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 11:28:38

Blimey slapper what on earth are you spending all that on?! Do you mean general supermarket shop or just food? Our supermarket spend is about £50 per week since we stopped buying wine sometimes more if there is washing powder involved!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 11:30:07

Could we not have a centrally heated bunker? A log burner?

Has anyone seen Threads?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 11:31:47

slaps you need to switch to Aldi!

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 11:35:15

I know, it's dreadful. that is our everything shop so washing powder/shower gel and and stuff too but even still that's a huge amount. We shop at Tesco. Think I may downgrade to Asda/lidl and maybe see if MATV would accept one or two veggie meals a week. He wont eat pasta or rice or grains though, he's very much a meat and two veg man....and he wont step foot in anywhere less than Tesco so it'll be me shopping from now on.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 12:03:21

Honestly, MSB was a bit hmm about Aldi so I went alone. When I came back with some stuff he was all thankful for the 'special' bread I'd treated him to! On a par with Finest stuff but half the price smile the other option is to meal plan and get the shopping delivered. Saves you buying things you don't really need/want and reduces waste. It always works out cheaper for us to pay for delivery over buying things we weren't planning for.

<runs through the streets with ofrs on back, nimbly leaping over piles of rubble>

<reaches bunker, knocks secret "I'm not a zombie" knock>

I literally have no idea what we spend on food. We both work shifts and are badly organised so often just buy sandwiches or whatever at work. Like I will this afternoon.

FriendofDorothy Sat 24-Nov-12 12:58:47

I dream of having a Tescos or an Asda within easy distance that doesn't include a boat trip. We only have Waitrose, M&S or the Co-op here. Not exactly cheap sad

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 13:04:04

Snap, dor! There is a lidl but it is further away and I always cave and just go to Waitrose instead. I can't think why my food bills are high sad

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 14:02:38

mmmmm we aren't great at meal planning. We've just had a huge shop delivered for the first time today, £90. No meat as we have a freezer full of chicken breasts that were given to us. I've approached the 'we need to cut back - maybe pasta one night or veggie meals twice a week' convo. He didn't say no but didn't look impressed. I'm going to check out Aldi tomorrow then if it stops raining smile Just had a mega workout, feel very virtuous now.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:12:06

I think that's how we keep our costs down. MrA is a veggie as a result I don't eat much meat at all. We use own brands for everything and neither of us are much interested in food grin

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 14:14:17

yeah see I'm not fussed about food, Ill eat anything going and very simple stuff. MATV however just eats constantly and likes healthy/natural stuff which is more expensive.

Shit just got real with the kitties - they are having a full on punch up!

Oh goodness

I just got to work and there has been a massive power cut. Our huge building is scarily quiet with no electric noises and its all dark corridors with low level emergency lighting. It is SPOOKY and feels like the Apocalypse thread was a bit too apt!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:20:42

Watch out for them zombies then, Winkly <cheerful>

Can someone link me the shittens? I have lost it.

EuroShagmore Sat 24-Nov-12 14:41:21

<Runs in waving a really big gun>

slap how on earth do you manage that?!? We usually shop in Waitrose and do not exactly go for the value range and still don't get anywhere near that! We do both buy lunch at work though, so that isn't included.

Rie here you go: Kittie cuteness

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 14:42:12
ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:57:11


<settles down>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 14:58:20

Now the little fuckers are asleep <disappointed>

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 15:00:06

Give it half an hour and they will be rampaging around again.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 15:05:58

How many are there? I only ever see the little ginger and white one.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 15:06:47

He's awake!! Squeee!!1!11!

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 15:16:07

4 kittens - 2 ginger and white, a tawny/grey one and a black and white girl.

evilgiraffe Sat 24-Nov-12 15:57:20

<Throws grenade, turns, walks away from ensuing explosion while putting on sunglasses>

Is this the right bunker?

<eyes shelves of gin>

Ah, it must be. Hey all, how's it going? Today I went Christmas shopping, I have got cards and feck all else. Oh well, time for qualifying now! GO LEWIS GO!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 16:03:40

I intend to watch Wales get thrashed by NZ sad the rugby. You never know, they might win <deluded>

This weather is actually apocalyptic.

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 17:01:03

AMNH was all gung ho about going kayaking today, despite my extremely dubious noises last night. I took him down to the river this morning and stood patiently by as the lesson sank in that weeks of exceptionally heavy rain equals very high, very fast, very dangerous rivers, with big lumps of tree debris careering down them. Numbskull.

aries, your abstemiousness does make you enviably slender though [jealous]

<runs wild with a semi-automatic, laughing maniacally>

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 18:03:26
MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 18:04:19

oh shit maybe not, I just read the OP but see she's now miscarried sad

bluer Sat 24-Nov-12 18:05:09

Phew its scary out there - xmas shopping that is not zombies...
It its def not the time for rivers norfy we are very near a village that got horrendously flooded at the start of the week and I couldn't get over the speed of the river... Excited as our weather may be on for snow on Monday <prays for snow day>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 18:06:12


bluer Sat 24-Nov-12 18:15:26

Oh shit that poor woman sad

sad Poor woman.

Question - at what stage do we think its worth POASing?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 19:22:38

Two days after droid is due and not a second earlier.


FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 19:23:19

Honestly wink, I would leave it until you are actually late. Personally I find a negative test harder to take than the arrival of droid, but that's just me.

Well my cycle is usually 28 days, but has been known to be longer. I started my last droid (spotting) 30 days ago and no spotting yet. But then I think I ov'd late this month so maybe I'm just due later. Dunno. As you say a negative test is worse than droid arrival.

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:01:47

<somersaults in through window, gin in one hand, fending off the zombies with a handy bond style shark gun>

wowzers. I get back from holiday, and here we are... Bit chilly eh?

Winkly, I would pick your longest cycle and test after that. But I don't really test now- My cycles go from 35 days to 80 odd days to 6 months plus. The bfns really are tough aren't they. I live in hope of one of those crazy, "6 months diffed and didn't even know". Hardy-ha ha.

<zips on a camouflage onesie. Fashionable and functional.>

<pulls gin out of survival bag. Realises bag is now empty.>

Who was is that brought the bag of issues to the woo Fred? Did it survive the apocalypse? It was pretty comfy.

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 20:05:33

Oh yeah, I'd forgotten the bag of issues. Wasn't it one Of those BESH fr five minutes the diffed ones whose names I evilly and haggily forget straight away? Or was it winkster, who is unforgettable ;)

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 20:06:56

These instadiffers <grim>

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:08:34

It thought it might be Wink. Or maybe draf. If it was an insta diff imposter, I'm claiming it as my own. God only knows I've enought issues to ensure its nice and comfy.

And, of course, excellent fred frankel. Loving the title- not wordy at all!

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 20:11:14

You've got the (now decidedly mangey) peacock feather, sink. You can't be greedy.

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 20:21:16

I saw someone in another Conception fred (checking out the enemy) refer to the BESH as "cliquey". Oh how I laughed!

<stares hard at any lurkers with crazy eyes, pump action shotgun in hand>


ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 20:25:48

WHERE? <dangerous>

The A30 is flooded. Cornwall is cut off!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 20:35:13

I tested two days early, only because I had vomited and thought it unusual. They were two scary days waiting for AF!

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:35:40

Cliquey? The only people we judge are those sprinkling fucking babydust with gay abandon. I thought a clique was a group people wanted to get into? I never thought being over 30s, barren and bitter was something to aspire to...

Norf! The peacock feather! <pulls bent feather from sleeve. Tucks into camouflage onesie. Wraps the trusty badger fur into a hat (of sorts)>

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:50

You'll be just like the Isle of Wight but with clog dancing! And armbands!

Cliquey? If only they knew how desperate we were to be infiltrated by anyone with fresh gin and jokes.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:53

Yeah but the Esh are by definition, cool. You have to have a witty sense of humour to fit in here! smile

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 20:46:59

Christ on a bike I'm bored and MATV is watching Total Recall. FFS.

How dare someone say we are cliquey. The only thing cliquey in here is my shoulder which clicks when I rotate it. Bloody thing.

Step away from the sticks winkly!! I find it much worse to get a BFN than a droid arriving. Either way it's shit though. I shall keep everything crossed that there is a mini winkly in there though grin

I think I had my surge this morning and have been horny all day. I wore poor MATV out last night and this morning so hopefully we've done enough. Not that I'm hopeful but at least we've done out best. Gold star for me. And maybe one for MATV. I've also been a bit obsessed with 'Body Rock TV' this afternoon on YouTube.. Check out if you want to see some pervy work out videos. It's quite funny yet informative at the same time. And she has amazing buzzwams.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 20:48:51

I too am bored out of brain. Can't go go out because of the apocalyptic rainfall.

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 20:52:39

It's even raining in the film :/

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 20:52:59

I am reduced to watching Dad's Army <glum>

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 24-Nov-12 20:54:27

Saw the cliquey comment. Nothing too horrendous. And she's mid 20s. Think I can forgive the slight.

Am catching up on tv on sky plus. How v rock and roll.

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 20:54:28

I went out and then got cold and wet and cross.

<holds the peacock feather above head, in the manner of a sad chimp with a palm leaf>

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 20:56:17

HAHAHA now that is bad. Don't get me wrong I like Dad's Army but its not really Saturday night TV. But then again neither is Total Recall

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 20:58:45

We decided all tv was crap and we're watching an old Michael McIntyre DVD. Deluges here too. Been out to pictures to see Twiglet with a friend but she's gone home now so we've battened the hatches.

bluer Sat 24-Nov-12 21:09:17

TV is rubbish tonight...I'm mindlessly surfing the net and discovering the joys of MN. The baby names section tis a scary place ... <suspects some people there deserve to become zombie fodder>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 21:11:55

There's a film about werewolves on.

Anyway, in the bunker we will need to Make Our Own Entertainment. Do you think Daniel Craig could be persuaded? Bagsie first go.

<throws weird baby namers at the zombies to distract them>
<shoves PeeSticks to the bottom of the OFRS, vowing to ignore them until at least Monday>

I don't remember the bag of issues, that doesn't rule out me being responsible for it though.

Pissing down here too but I've been at work and when it rains, as a rule very little happens. So I'm well caught up on phone calls and fiddly bits of paperwork that needed done. Hooray.

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 21:14:12

I reckon he could cope with two of us a go rie so ill double up with you when he arrives. We obviously will have to ration now we are in the bunker so this is the best way, ensures there is plenty of Mr Bond to go round smile

evilgiraffe Sat 24-Nov-12 21:14:49

Bag of issues is nothing to do with me <shrug> (someone explain? I think with the cave/frank confusion, I have established just how slow on the uptake I am...)

I am reading fanfiction while HOTB plays racing car games on the PS3. Nice to have a sit down, I've been baking his birthday cake all evening!

Oh, and I hold out for a week late before POAS. The only time I've needed to think about it, droid arrived at six days late, so a week seems pretty reasonable especially as, like others, I find BFN more depressing than droid arrival.

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 24-Nov-12 21:16:51

Did we not sort out a Daniel Craig cloning device on the fred previous?

I might just have thrown it in the survival bag. And that's space that could have been gin, so best not let it go to waste...

evilgiraffe Sat 24-Nov-12 21:17:26

<gets in line for next go with Bond>

<poses menacingly with large knife so as to discourage queue jumpers>

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 24-Nov-12 21:18:18

Sigh. Bag of issues may well have been an instadiff. I'm also bored, so shall investigate.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 21:21:52

Link to this Fred please <bored and want to play!>

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:08

Ohhh cloning would be good. Perhaps two Daniels each. Best we'd all be instantly diffed with one wiff of Mr Bond's baby dust.

EuroShagmore Sat 24-Nov-12 21:24:16

Bagsie next go on Mr Craig after the scary woman!

I ran this morning. In the rain. <virtuous> I have earned some time flat on my back.

<Stocks cupboards with gin and chocolate whilst I wait.>

MissSlapAndTipple Sat 24-Nov-12 21:25:28

<flat on my back> ((((chortle)))) sorry.

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 21:28:22

Looks like it was fertilityftw. What happened to her? Was se an instadiff? Or a name change I've lost track of?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 24-Nov-12 21:29:51

I lost track of everyone for a while. There have been so many come and go.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 21:33:41

She got diffed shortly after joining. She joined the PESH but rarely posted.

Northey Sat 24-Nov-12 21:33:57

And me, aries sad

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 24-Nov-12 21:38:40

Back story with her was that she did a plea to the BESH in conception for advice about going to her first fertility appointment. With encouragement, she joined the BESH but then got diffed quickly.

SinkyGoodenplenty Sat 24-Nov-12 21:43:28

Hum. I've returned to report, and see I've been beaten to it!

Bit depressing seeing all the names that drop in and out. Fizzyfeet? Are they still about (name changes confuse me). Am I being daft- don't think I've seen much of driz recently.

SinkyMalinks Sat 24-Nov-12 21:51:17

Oh for goodness sake. I decided to get rid of the bond feemed username, and someone has only bloody gone and taken Sinky.

<looks around accusingly. Bazooka at ready on shoulder>

So, this is the best I can think of at the mo. bloody cheek.

And panic not ladies, with the trusty Daniel-Craig-o-matic, there will be blonde loveliness enough to go round.

I think I will name change

Maybe something zombieish. Are we in a zombie apocalypse or a regular one?

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sat 24-Nov-12 22:02:49

Kittens are being very entertaining at the moment Rie if you are still bored grin

evilgiraffe Sat 24-Nov-12 22:18:07

SO CUTE. I love watching them fall off stuff grin

FizzyFeet Sat 24-Nov-12 22:53:26

Evening all - my ears are burning! I am still around, but lurking in an attempt to control the menkul. am most definitely not diffed yet. Next stop for us is fertility clinic in Jan.

<brief background for new BESH and those who have forgotten who the hell I am: aka ShredniVashtar / Shred; started ttc this day 2 years ago; 1 mmc 6months in and an ectopic a year ago. Other half is GFBW - green fingered book worm.>

<fills camel pack full of gin and fastens machete. Bring on the apocalypse!>

SinkyMalinks Sat 24-Nov-12 22:58:23

Well hello- that's some impressive lurking shred/fizz -name check to posting almost within the hour!

FizzyFeet Sat 24-Nov-12 23:37:02

Yep, I literally check in every 10 minutes ;-)

Northey Sun 25-Nov-12 06:50:56

fizzyferret! Oh good, you are still around. I had been wondering where you were.

And I hope lemons is ok.

sinky, you could always revert to the old hilarity name.

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 08:04:41

Well I'm off out early bells to spend the day cocktailing and shopping with my three best friend who have seven wee ones in total...they're great but I know every conversation end up about things I don't know about! Queue extra drinking for me!
<bravely kicks open the door and heads out into zombie land>

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sun 25-Nov-12 08:46:36

Make sure you've got your OFRS and galoshes with you blue grin

I have just put a piece of brisket in the slow cooker for tonight's dinner. I've never cooked it before so we'll see what turns out in 10 hours time!

SinkyMalinks Sun 25-Nov-12 09:21:10

Mmmm. Melt in the mouth brisket. Jealous.

Norf, I never really liked my hilarity name. Only picked it on a whim when I joined on Charles Dickens' birthday/deathday/some anniversary. But safe to say I don't think anyone else will have it..

I have to go out and run later. I've promised. I ran on holiday. It was warm. I took a break and watched the sea sparkle in the sunlight. That isn't going to happen today, is it?

<straps bazooka to back and takes canvas shopper for gin supplies>

FriendofDorothy Sun 25-Nov-12 09:25:31

Oh I love brisket in the slow cooker. Just melt-in-the-mouth delicious!

EuroShagmore Sun 25-Nov-12 09:36:02

Morning all. At least the rain has finally stopped here. In fact the skies are blue! I have a day in a shopping centre ahead though - due to forthcoming hollibobs, we have very limited time between now and Christmas to sort everything. Eek.

I think I might stick with the Bond girl name for a while. It is very ttc appropriate after all.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 09:51:50

Morning! The sky is also bright blue here which suggests I'll be busy at work later. Oh well.

The joys of PMT - went to the bathroom and Husband, who had the side view, commented "your boobs were really leading the way there!" shock grin

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 25-Nov-12 10:14:25

<jealous of *Winkly's boobs*>

What is brisket pliz?

I think the bunker could do with pumping out.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 25-Nov-12 10:14:38


WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 10:21:48

Brisket is a cheaper cut of beef which tastes incredible when its slow cooked, it just falls apart and is juicy and delicious. The beef version of pulled pork, kind of.

<jealous of frank's dinner>
<emerges from the bunker in search of a cow....>

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 25-Nov-12 10:35:51

Brisket makes me think of Big Bang...

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 11:49:44


I am taking the EnormoBoobs back to bed for a pre-work nap.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 13:05:28

Petty Whine Alert (feel free to ignore the text below)
I need my period to come now

I am so tired and I can't sleep and my boobs hurt so much and it's Not Fair. And I have to go to work and I'm over emotional and weepy. I know I am pathetic, but there it is.

Petty Whine Over

SinkyMalinks Sun 25-Nov-12 13:11:51

I'm with you winklyzombie. I want a droidal invasion. I hate theses fecking long cycles.

Are you late? Should you consider POAS?

<thumps kidneys for good measure>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 13:16:49

It is extremely unlikely I am diffed. We only managed sex once this month and it was after I would usually ov, though I think I ov'd late this month. I am a little bit late but not unusually so (day 31 of typical 28 day cycle). I think my body is just fucking with me.

Sod baby dust <chucks DroidRust at sinky and self>

SinkyMalinks Sun 25-Nov-12 13:26:58

Fucking bodies fucking around, eh?

<Rolls in droidrust>

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 17:40:35

<falls into bunker having consumed a months ration of booze in the last few hours>
Someone please tell me they read the Fred where the woman A wasn't on the pill B was having sex with what can only be described as a total catch of a partner and C is now wondering why she was putting on weight and having sore boobs and no period for like four months.
It may be the booze talking but ffs some people....
<staggers over to the corner and cowers>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 17:42:59


SinkyMalinks Sun 25-Nov-12 17:50:11

Yup. Lots of mental threads doing the rounds at the mo.

I blame post apocalypse madness.

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 17:51:17

Sorry can't do it -- too drunk to work it out -- but the title is when did I conceive?

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 17:55:40

Actually it was pregnant but when did I conceive. <nods drunkenly>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 17:57:03

Loving your strikethrough fail, good effort on the Sunday afternoon drunkenness blue smile

Meant to congratulate norf on her healthy droid earlier, and say that I was singing "blue abadeeabadi" as well

SinkyMalinks Sun 25-Nov-12 17:57:47

Did you notice that that bloody thread appeared just after I said I wanted to be one of those, "oops, I appear to be 5 months pregnant" types?


WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 18:04:03

Mmm arsebiscuits, my favourite biscuit

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 18:08:39

Humph the phone has out foxed me.
Well done norfy and winky I like the idea of Droid rust!
. I did see a top in river island that said bitter on the front....I wonder how they knew?!
<goes off in search of munchies>

evilgiraffe Sun 25-Nov-12 18:26:51

<hands rounds HOTB's birthday cake>

Hurrah, the ILs have gone home!

And sad because Lewis Hamilton got taken out in his last race for McLaren, which is a great shame. He is one of my (numerous) sporting heroes.

MissSlapAndTipple Sun 25-Nov-12 18:54:51

well good evening one and all. Have we run out of booze yet?

Hurray for ILs going home evil smile Mine don't live too far away and never come round, we always go to them so it works well smile For me anyway.

Don't know what's with all the ridiculous threads at the moment, I have to restrain myself from saying something suitably rude on most of them. I think Sinky is right, it's because of the apocalypse.

I got told I had a 'toned' tummy today. Well happy with that. The irony being that I don't, I was just really trying to hold my tummy in while having a bra fitted but hey I'm not going to let a comment like that go to waste smile I am trying to get a toned stomach but at the moment I've just about managed to clear the flab. Muscle is next on the agenda......... see how I'm trying to tempt fate ****ooooh i'll get a flat tummy then it'll get all fat because I'll get diffed*** lolz. yeah right. <bitter> I need that t-shirt bluer found.

BugsyGalore Sun 25-Nov-12 19:20:29

<Arrives late (as per usual) in full Lara Croft style camouflage gear carrying a rocket launcher and some freshly sewn cushions>

Now, where are these Zombies?

I have been away for the weekend, sorry for lack of posting. I am currently attempting to type whilst my cat demands attention by headbutting me. I am trying to ignore the fact that she only ever comes to me when im pregnant since i only ov'd on Thursday but menkul menkul menkul.

Nice to see the droid norf. <throws droid dust around for those that need it>

Right hags, sit your arses on these lovelies I've just made (when i should be revising for my interview!!!!)

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sun 25-Nov-12 19:30:06

Brisket was delish! Made some horseradish mash to go with it - yum!

Hurrah for leaving in laws evil and welcome back Bugs

EuroShagmore Sun 25-Nov-12 19:35:06

Xmas shopping mostly done. Phew.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 19:40:46

<quickly checks we haven't run out of booze after slap's comment>
<borrows one of bug's cushions and sits with her in Menkul Corner>

Well done euro!

ignoring frank cos well jel innit

Northey Sun 25-Nov-12 20:41:33

Just because it's the end of the world, doesn't mean we can't be comfortable. <wedges gin upright between two cushions>

Got home after a nightmarish flood-diverted train journey to find some leftover Quality Street and an IVF funding approval letter.

FrankelDeBeauvoir Sun 25-Nov-12 20:42:54

Boo for floods but hurrah for surprise chocolate and good-news letters grin
Do you have dates to start Norf

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 25-Nov-12 20:48:22

Hooray norf! grin

Glad you've had fun blue!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 20:48:28

Yay norf!!!

Tremendous news about the chocolate.

Not too damn shabby about the ivf funding either grin

So what's the next step, do you know? Or is the next step 'eat chocolate, be pleased something has gone well and remember not to take up a 40-a-day habit in the next few weeks'?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 25-Nov-12 20:48:36

<Sticks head into bunker, gets quite scared>

I was on hollibobs, returned about 5 hours ago, been reading this fred and not understanding much wink Some of you have name changed, who is blue? Hurrah for droidal end of meth-crap! Hiss boo to floods (rivers, roads etc).

Can someone give me a quick summary of the past two weeks?

PS All sorrows were drowed in copious amounts of alcohol. So life is GOOD right now! (Except that I have to do a million lots of washing - on that topic, we live on the second floor and pay a men to wash our windows).

MissSlapAndTipple Sun 25-Nov-12 20:56:18

blue is fresh meat!

Good hols drizz? Where did you go?!

Thank FUCK Rylan is finally gone.

MissSlapAndTipple Sun 25-Nov-12 20:56:59

bum missed a bit - yayee for IVF approval's northy smile

Northey Sun 25-Nov-12 20:59:08

blue is new, lemon.

Not sure what has happened recently. A few menkuls, but none worthy of the kidney punch. winkle is one to watch currently. Late droid. Sore buzzwams. An actual shag. It's all to play for.

As for the fred, it's Apocalypse BESH. We needed a lair from which to send out air strikes on some frankly kickworthy dim bints who have been starting asinine threads around the place.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 21:01:01

Hi driz!

Loving the vibe in the BarrenBunker tonight smile

Got sent home early from work for looking like I was about to fall asleep at my desk, thank goodness I have 2 days off before almost a week of night shifts

Northey Sun 25-Nov-12 21:01:04

Fanks for your kind congrats on my letter (and chocolate). It is basically a letter telling my new ivf clinic that I've been approved and they should contact me for an initial appointment. And telling me not to put on any weight or start smoking between now and then.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 25-Nov-12 21:03:08

Where's the BESHtionaire? I need to go and hunt it (and read 90 pages of philosophy for tomorrow's class).

Hols were fab, so fab I can say, Rylan, wtf? No telly, no tinternet, just us, wine, truffles, fabulous mushrooms, boar, olive oil, excellent coffee. We gallivanted about the country fora week and rented a freezing cottage for another. I laid an egg (on approx the only sechless day of the hols) but it means the cycle is back on track. I am all happy and positive and glowy. But I have loads on this week, so stress might sneak back in soon.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 25-Nov-12 21:04:57

So I need to throw fishes at wink and nuclear war heads at the rest of MN (the former is new, the latter hardly fred-worfy).

Yay for the letter, norf and one out of those (no smoking) should be enough. Everyone puts weight on in December.

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 21:07:57

<plonks down on cushion>

Any one got any experience with ov sticks? Just tried another and still nothing but I've had cm for a few days. the doc doesn't think I'm properly laying eggs as progesterone was so low they work any way?
One of my rl pals actually said to me today that I could always adopt and then I'd likely get diffed as she knows several that's happened to...
I managed to cope by ordering another cocktail...she's bf-ing so no booze for her.

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 21:12:01

Oh exiting getting the letter north!
Hi lemon...I'm not giving a suitable first impression as I'm a bit pished...long day but I did show suitable enthusiasm that various baby had eaten various things for first time.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 25-Nov-12 21:12:31

The bitch. I would have a) hit her or b) left. Thankfully I have now trained everyone I care about, and for anyone else this would have been an acceptable reaction.

As to OV-sticks, they work for me, but then I ovulate and have really obvious signs (they have commented on the beauty of my mucus and my lining at IUIs)

And hello bluer I am hunting your beshtionaire. I am lemon, TTC for 2,5 years, 1 IUI-superovulation diffage in August, MC in September. Still grumpy. Unexplained IF.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 25-Nov-12 21:13:21

Oh and being pissed is a very good first impression. I spent the last two weeks drunk, while you joined!

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 21:19:47

Sorry about the mc but well done on the beautiful mucus.
Been trying just under the year but the doc didn't seem toopositive about bloods etc so we're getting referred on. I found my way to besh after being accused of being bitter on another Fred!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 25-Nov-12 21:22:16

Found BESHtionaire, fank f**k you didn't join halfway through my hollibobs! Looks good to me.

Btw on a non-pissed note, if the friend giving you the you-can-adopt-and-will-get-diffed-then line is someone you care about, it might be worth training her. I trained my extremely fertile sister (who had her third whilst we were trying and he's 1,5 now) to stop giving me unwanted advice and so called reassuring suggestions or tales. It took a while, but now she's great. I have taken quite a firm line with a lot of my friends, cos I just can't deal with the sort of comments you got. And really, they usually hope or try to be helpful. If they're not, it might be worthwhile to gently or incredibly bluntly guide them in more useful or at least less offensive directions.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 21:24:19

Nothing wrong with a bit of pishedness DeeperShadeOfBlue

Ov sticks work for me, but I can feel myself ov (almost), for all its fucking helped. Dumbass friend probably meant well, but we don't have to be generous in the bunker. I told off a guy at work today for asking a colleague "so when are you going to be a dad?" I hope never with his current gf, she's a psycho

Tomorrow I have to do the newborn visit I cried out of postponed. Tuesday is dinner with instadiffer friend. Oh yay.

bluer Sun 25-Nov-12 21:28:10

I may have to give it a shot...was stuck in the midst of three mothers envy and they all joined in. will try the subtle training approach...otherwise I will just tell them off.

evilgiraffe Sun 25-Nov-12 22:24:59

Hurrah for drink! I knew giving HOTB a bottle of Bollinger for his birthday would be a good idea grin [hic] <stares sadly at empty bottle>

Off to see new twilight film tomorrow with friend and her 3-month baybee. He was relatively hard-won and seems to like me and she's v lovely and understanding so will be a fun afternoon smile

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 22:55:16

It is sad when the champagne bottle gets empty

I think I need to buy a special pmt bra. My buzzwams are refusing to be caged by my normal bra. I reckon I've gone from a c to an e

<shimmies boobs vair gently>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 25-Nov-12 22:58:57

<cough> diffed <cough>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Sun 25-Nov-12 23:02:42

Menkulling by proxy. Like it!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Mon 26-Nov-12 06:15:42

Maybe test before the next bottle of champers, says she who downed a lot of prosecco the night before BFP because I was sick and tired of making sure I was not diffed

Morning hags - can I still call you hags now the end is nigh? I am nearly off to work, ugh, commuting after a break...

alwyn Mon 26-Nov-12 06:19:36

<chants to self> Only 15 working days after this week.....only 15 working days after this week.....

Glad to see everyone is in fine fettle. Good first impression, blue - wish I could have spent this weekend in drunken haze but took 6 Guides on a weekend away (not camping, I'm not THAT mental).

Busy week this week - parents' evening, progress review with HoD (that I still need to do loads of marking for and it is tomorrow).

Why is your mate taking her baby to the cinema, draf? He can't walk out in disgust when it's rubbish wink

bluer Mon 26-Nov-12 07:01:50

Ah a have parents night this week don't work with me do you Alwyn?
Well I'm in fine fettle this morning....Sunday drinking is obviously good for you wine

Northey Mon 26-Nov-12 07:20:52

Nearly at work myself, into have time to prepare for a stressful day, which I've been worrying about all weekend. Ho hum.

Had weird ivf / ttc / pregnancy loss related dreams all night.

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 08:16:28

Oh, it will be terrible, al, but we will be laughing most of the time I suspect. I have a deep affection mixed with complete disdain for the Twilight books and films grin

<slaps norf's dreams with a stickleback>

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 09:20:22

Look at this! An advent calendar designed for the BESH!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 09:29:34

Amazing. Need!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 09:48:45

norf its not surprising you had those dreams. The letter has maybe brought all the crap you've been through back up and I suppose your brain was sorting it out. How do you feel this morning?

blue impressive chirpiness today!

drafter - making a baybee sit through Twilight? Poor thing.

I feel crampy and sick today, the droid is on way - The End Of The Cycle Is Nigh.

<hunts in ofrs for tampons and hot water bottle>

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 10:50:39

Baybee has a reprieve - friend has double-booked herself so we're going next week instead...

EuroShagmore Mon 26-Nov-12 12:20:28

Morning BESH.

My week has got busy. Booo. And isn't that always the way in the run up to a holiday?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 15:34:50

Afternoon hags. Is that flood pump working yet.? This apocalypse is getting a little too much apocalyptic if you ask me.

North, have you ever had one of those dreams where you actually give birth to an actual baybee? I have, though fortunately it didn't heart at all. I dreamt I was BFing it as well hmm. I wonder if they will ever come true?

I have been wondering a lot lately, looking at all these silly Christmas threads. All I want to write is "Count your blessings." in answer to all the posters agonizing over presents, plays, parties when all I can think is that I might never, ever see my own child wearing a tinsel halo or dressing gown, or unwrapping a present, or playing pass the parcel.

Sorry. Very maudlin.

Northey Mon 26-Nov-12 16:44:09

Ow. That tinsel halo thing was a cruelly descriptive blow to the heart, aries.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 17:17:01

Sorry love. It's just how I feel today sad

I never used to be a whinger. It's only lately when times have been so hard. There was a silly thread in which a woman was moaning about the timing of the Christmas holidays and all I wanted to say was "Shut the fuck up."

EuroShagmore Mon 26-Nov-12 17:41:46

rie I've had one of those dreams. And I was actually pushing in my dream. Luckily I woke up just as I was about to let out a bit of wee.... I've had the feeding dream too. <Obsessed loony who will probably end up stealing herself a baby from outside tescos>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 17:43:14


Bring the baby to the bunker. They will never find us <deranged cackle>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 17:58:28

Someone was whining about the timing of Christmas? Its been the same time every single year for at least a hundred years! Should we move it to July? no cos then it will clash with my birthday

Euro I am glad you didn't wee yourself and lucky you going away. I had a very vivid breastfeeding dream last night, probably because I am obsessed with my breasts at the minute. Today I visited a friend with a 2 week old baby. Nice to see my friend, but...

rie I don't think you are a whinger. Today I was thinking how bloody strong you all are in the face of all this shit life throws at you
<sobs in public in a very non-besh fashion>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 18:04:18

<flexes muscles in ostentatious display of strength> Fanks winks blushgrin

I think the timing whingeing was more to do with the audacity of schools for daring to break up on the 22nd, which doesn't then give their offspring enough time to get excited enough about The Big Day.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 18:13:04

Oh ffs. It's been Christmas since the end of September in tesco. Plenty of time to get excited. Stupid woman.

Northey Mon 26-Nov-12 19:00:12

What? It's Christmas? What a surprise! <props up wizened pine tree in the corner and shoots off the pine cones with a casual pistol>

They can all fuck off with their Elf on the Shelf shit as well.

SinkyMalinks Mon 26-Nov-12 19:04:43

I love that advent calendar! Here I was, thinking it would be some grinch, bah humbug anti-Xmas calendar, but no! It's a vision of gin shaped loveliness. And for 24 drinks, begins to look like a bit of a bargain... Do you think they'll discount it after dec 1st <wild optimism>

So. Cd 1 here. The droid rust did it. Actually a bit pleased. Norks are now un-hurty, I have a reason for cramps, and last cycle was a tiny 54 days. Go me. <pats ovaries and hormones on head>

Can we stage a mass break out from the BESH bunker and post "shut/man the fuck up" on many, many deserving threads?

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 19:31:05

Yes! Including this one

<gives sink's non-hurty norks a celebratory squeeze>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 19:35:30

Let's DO it!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 19:45:53

I wonder which of us will be first to get banned from mumsnet.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 19:51:10

Just avoid personal attacks. You can more or less say anything grin

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 20:41:29

Glad you like it, sinky! I thought you guys would appreciate it grin

FrankelDeBeauvoir Mon 26-Nov-12 21:05:49

Another order here for that advent calendar grin

I has been a stroppy and moody cah for the last few days. We haven't ad the sechs at all this cycle and I think I might be gearing up to ov. HWHNN has been unwell and isn't really in a fit state but the irrational part of my mind is feeling neglected and that he can't want a baybee that much if he won't make the effort. Plus I'm having a stressful time in work - it's starting to look like we may need to relocate offices, still in the same small town, but I could do without the headache of finding new premises and sorting out all the faff that entails angry

<cracks open bottle of homemade peapod burgundy>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 21:41:55

Rubbish frank, it's crap feeling (a) undesirable and (b) alone in your desire for a baybee. Is HWHNN normally a bit useless, or is this an abberation?

Do you think that perhaps (and feel free to chop off my arm with a zombie-fighting machete for this) it might be worth taking a cycle "off"? I think that I will be, this time round if my fucking droid ever comes and my boobs don't explode - I think I need a break from the pressure to shag, then the menkulling, then the disappointment.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 21:43:36

<hairstrokes for frank>

I know. Let's cut our losses, and make the bunker a lesbian one (apart from Mr Craig who can impregnate us)

FrankelDeBeauvoir Mon 26-Nov-12 21:47:20

My cycles are so arsing long that I feel like I can't take a cycle off, IYSWIM. He's normally very good, though completely lacking in spontaneity hmm. I do 99% of the initiating and to be honest, these days it's more "We've got 15 minutes before these spuds are cooked, upstairs now!" than "I need you right now, ravish me on the kitchen table!" wink

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 21:52:56

Fair nuff

B-Plan - scatter candles around the room making it luffly and splay yourself sexily across the bed. Desire will beat illness. Probably.

Ariel - my lesbian friends won twins. The lesbians are less barren than me.

And didn't we agree Bond would have had the snip?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 21:56:05

There was a lesbian BESH way back. She won before me and Jethro too <gloomy> I am starting to think turkey basting is actually far more effective that Sechs with a Chap.

bluer Mon 26-Nov-12 21:56:57

It gets lacking in spontaneity doesn't it? I've told mr df we need to tonight....or else! Still got cm and not a smiley on opk but with him working nights as of tomorrow it'll be our last chance till weekend. <muses over whether being lesbian would be better>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 22:00:42

Is being a lesbian better? Well.

I used to be in a same-sex relationship.
My mum worried I would never have kids.

Now I'm married and showing no signs of procreating.
My mum is worried I will never have kids.

Plus ca change...

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 22:05:22

Sigh. I have never been in a relationship with a girl but when I think of all that wasted contraception sad.

I remember my mum bellowing whether my then-boyfriend was "doubling up"! Mmmm - sensitive.

bluer Mon 26-Nov-12 22:12:44

Least another woman would understand why it needs to be tonight and not sometime towards the arse end of next week...fume. If he knocks me back I'm going to be very cross angry

MissSlapAndTipple Mon 26-Nov-12 22:15:38

Seeing as we are on menkulling and all things secsh, I need advice quick! I mean before bed!

So, I had a semi positive OPK ok Friday ie both lines were very nearly as dark as one another so I wasn't far off ready to ov, followed by lots and lots of CM first thing on Saturday. We DTD Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and yesterday afternoon and yesterday there was no CM but I was horrendously horny all day. Nothing today until more CM before I headed out to pole. I'm really really not in the mood and neither is MATV but do you think we should just in case? Stressing that we might miss ov sad

FrankelDeBeauvoir Mon 26-Nov-12 22:18:59

I'd be inclined to do it anyway slappy, carpet-bombing method and all that wink

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 22:19:04

I wouldn't, you did it yesterday, should be fine, sperms can live up to a week and you've more than likely ov'd anyway

MissSlapAndTipple Mon 26-Nov-12 22:21:11

Oh no, one for and one against!

FrankelDeBeauvoir Mon 26-Nov-12 22:27:28

Next one gets the deciding vote!

MissSlapAndTipple Mon 26-Nov-12 22:28:44

Oh god don't, they will have to be quick - we're off to bed in 5mimutes!!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 22:30:06

Flip a coin

MissSlapAndTipple Mon 26-Nov-12 22:33:19

I don't have one. I'm thinking I must have ovulated because on Tuesday the consultant said ov would be in the next three/four days but because I had two smaller but still possibly growing follies on the left I may actually ov twice? So it might be that?

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 22:33:22

In the manner of Chris Pine as James T Kirk in the 2009 film "Star Trek":



MissSlapAndTipple Mon 26-Nov-12 22:34:04

(I don't have a coin because I'm in bed, it's cold outside the duvet so I'm not moving!)

bluer Mon 26-Nov-12 22:34:10

mission completed! Go for it!

SinkyMalinks Mon 26-Nov-12 22:34:33

I think, if I've made the deadline, that any egg will by now be swimming in jizz.

Take the night off!

<thumps down gavel>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 22:34:37

Fuck it

<hops to the other side of the fence>


WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 22:35:26

Vomming at the thought of swimming in jizz, nasty sinky!

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 22:36:26

Yes, I am a massive nerd. AND PROUD.

C'mon, slaps, that's three for and one against now. Crack on!

SinkyMalinks Mon 26-Nov-12 22:37:02

Eek. It's this sort of attitude that sees me to my 4th yr TTC.

I have several lesbian friends with baybees. 3currently pregnant, 1 with twins.

<opens Lakeland catalogue to baster page>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 22:39:40

You can get everything in Lakeland. And it always works. I love Lakeland.

However I have been advised that a baster is too big. Syringes. That's what we need.

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 22:40:25

Nah, sinks, we've got one month to go and then we will be in our fourth year too. It's just shit, it doesn't have any rhyme or reason. Clearly, we just pissed off someone big time in a previous life...

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 22:43:24

No. NO. I will NOT have this. There are complete shitbags out there breeding with abandon. It is NOT about who deserves it, or doesn't, from this life or another. It is SHIT and HORRIBLE but it is not now, nor has it ever been or ever will be your fault.

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 23:04:59

(psst, winks, I am not even remotely religious, spiritual or whatnot. When I mention previous lives I don't mean it at all, don't worry)

Having said that, it might be nice to have a religion, so I could assume it was all part of some divinely ineffable plan, as opposed to simply shitty luck.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 23:06:59

Oh no I couldn't cope with the idea of a god having it for me at all! I believe in shitty luck.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 26-Nov-12 23:11:16

Just got upset for you cos you is luffly draf and didn't want anyone on here thinking they were in any way Unworthy

And cos I am a hormonal emotional wreck

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 23:13:09

I dunno. I've been atheist all my life, but have many deeply Christian friends and family who seem to get a lot of support from their faith. Maybe it's something you have to believe to properly understand.

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 23:14:24

Aww, fanks! <pins on official luffly badge> grin

evilgiraffe Mon 26-Nov-12 23:15:24

I'm all done out of emotions today, btw, I watched Schindler's List while ironing - so good but rather draining.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 26-Nov-12 23:15:39

There have been a fair few very religious BESHes. Oh the debates it used to cause. I always kept out of it <polishes halo>

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 27-Nov-12 05:53:55

I actually found our TTC ishoos pushed us to the brink of our faith. (We are Christians). Tis easier now but MSB still struggles.

I do not want to get out of bed! <stamps foot>

Northey Tue 27-Nov-12 06:04:43

Me either, faif. It is warm and cosy and despite the fact that I got through yesterday and today will be easier, I still would rather stay here and go back to sleep.

I haven't been back to church since the first ectopic. The desire to shout "oh just fuck OFF" at the altar was distressingly strong so it seemed best to stay away.

MissSlapAndTipple Tue 27-Nov-12 07:16:45

Well sex was a massive fail so we did the next best thing - fall out then went to sleep. Never mind.

I'm not religious, probably agnostic really. I heard some sick comments from a religious person years ago about infertility which, if I heard the same now, I would literally tear strips off them. It was along the lines of 'god only gives babies to those he judges fit to.'

My friends friend is deeply religious and she and her husband tried for years, had all the tests, nothing wrong. Went on hols, had a break down and a bit of a screamathon 'fuck you god' type thing and ripped her cross from her neck and threw it from the hotel window. Got home, guess what BFP. I'm really not to sure if that story pisses me off or makes me smile!

FriendofDorothy Tue 27-Nov-12 07:57:39

TTC nearly derailed my faith. Even now I struggle because of all the stuff we went through. I am not sure it gave me much comfort at times.

The language of Christenings and the church focus on families seemed to be particularly upsetting at times.

bluer Tue 27-Nov-12 08:09:58

I have hope and faith but not in a religious way...I have a born again friend who's always praying for me so I've got the bases covered wink

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 08:11:51

I was raised a Catholic, though probably more of a 'social' Catholic iykwim. Organised religions seem very unkind and unwelcoming sometimes, which is the opposite of the supposed Christian message. If I ever do manage to have a child, I don't know that I would have it christened, although that would cause major upset in my family. I only just "got away" with having a civil wedding because Husband has no religious background whatsoever.

I am off work today. I got up at 6 to take him to the train station. He is off for a day of corporate wankery bollocks and was in a Bad Mood when he left. So why have I not gone back to sleep? I will regret this later.

slap hope you made up?

evilgiraffe Tue 27-Nov-12 08:31:43

I stand corrected! I shall henceforth be grateful for my complete lack of religious beliefs - at least it doesn't give me any additional stress.

Dot, I know what you mean about the language and focus on families. I've been pretty close to breaking down during a couple of weddings over the last year or so. I feel so uncomfortable and out of place in church in any case, and then the message seems to be "get married and then have children, that is your entire purpose in life".

Still, the rage was held at bay at the most recent wedding by a truly horrible toddler in the row behind me who whined and kicked the back of my chair all through the service and then spray-sneezed all over my back. <insert whole-body shudder and vom-face> Did his parents apologise? Did they fuck... Why on earth wouldn't you just take a clearly bored - and bothering/distracting other wedding attendees - child outside? <vows to be a more considerate parent>

FriendofDorothy Tue 27-Nov-12 08:36:06

To be honest I found weddings just as hard when I was desperate to meet a nice man and get married. I sobbed my way through my sister's second wedding and then proceeded to get shit-faced at the reception. Rather miraculously I look fabulous in all the photos. I think I got so drunk that I forgot to carry on drinking and ended up sober!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 10:51:05

Yes to that. A solemn vicar proclaiming "Marriage is for the promulgation of childre....." blah blah blah. Next time I'll stand up and shout "Say you're infertile? What's it for then? Does my marriage lack purpose?"

All part of God's great plan. Imagine dealing with nappies and tantrums in the bunker, for example.

EuroShagmore Tue 27-Nov-12 11:00:26

I remember those days Dor. We were together 7 years before we got hitched. I was sick of going to weddings of couples who had met years after us. The final straw came at KFZK's brother's wedding. KFZK and I had broken up just before it (because he wasn't sure he wanted to have kids and I was - having just done a 180 turnabout on that). We had a break, he did some thinking and decided he did want kids after all, just not right then. We had been together about 4 years by that point and I was 30/31 and starting to get broody. I was feeling rather fragile at the time of the wedding and had been humming and hawing about whether or not to go. In the end I did, but it wasn't an easy day and I was holding back the tears for some of it. BIL had been together with his fiancée for less than a year when they got hitched. She has the same name as me. At the reception KFZK's mother came up to me and said how confusing it was that we have the same name so she had decided that SIL would be Name#1 and I would be Name#2 as they had got married first. KFZK still hasn't heard the end of that one.

I'm a confirmed athiest. And so is KFZK (despite, or more likely because of, spending 10 years in a Jesuit boarding school...).

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 12:29:56

rie in so far as the Catholic church goes, if you know you're infertilite before marriage you shouldn't get married at all - marriage is about a family life and sex is about procreation only shock

Weddings were hard when I was with my ex-girlfriend because that was before civil partnerships so I thought I would never ever get that, and because 9 times out of 10 I wasn't allowed to bring her angry

My boobs are still massive today but less sore. No droid yet but the easing of the boob pain makes me think it's imminent.

I am sure you are all thrilled to be kept up to date with the state of my buzzwams grin

Northey Tue 27-Nov-12 13:07:06

I think you're allowed to get married, winkle. You just have to accept that God in his top omnipotent way could overturn your infertility AT ANY MOMENT! THRILLS! MAGICS! and give you a baybee. Because the church marries post menopausal wimminz and shit. in fact, the priest has leeway not to say the procreation of children bit. Which is good, because i am going to refuse to get married next year if anyone tries to make me say it.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 13:24:55

Sorry you are right. It's pre-existing & unfixable impotence that I was thinking.of.

Can you imagine a priest asking "now will you be able to get it up at least once?"

Northey Tue 27-Nov-12 13:38:45

So is that basically saying you've got to have an erectible nob (male) and a vaginal opening (female)?

FrankelDeBeauvoir Tue 27-Nov-12 13:42:31

Regarding religion, I find Amy Ferrarr-Fowler (off of Big Bang Theory) provides the best retort:

"I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I am baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance"


My mum is a Jehovah's Witness (converted 20 years ago) and my dad hates organised religion, so I have plenty of ishoos on that front!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 14:51:23

I just braved a look out of the window.

That apocalypse is coming along nicely, isn't it.

EuroShagmore Tue 27-Nov-12 14:57:44

Indeed. I think rather than a bunker we should have opted for an evil lair atop a mountain.

As it is, I think we need to start constructing canoes.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 15:12:02

Didn't realise the apocalypse would be so darn soggy.

Northey Tue 27-Nov-12 15:20:54

At least it counteracts the brimstone which always seems to rain down in apocalypse films.

Oh when can I go hoooome?

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 15:26:50

Go now, tell them you need to collect canoe building materials before its too late.

I am disappointed that the so-called French brasserie I am going tonight has neither pate nor blue cheese for me to passively-aggressively order in the face of my diffed friend.

Northey Tue 27-Nov-12 17:17:39

There's always booze, wink.

EuroShagmore Tue 27-Nov-12 18:03:21

Oh FFS. KFZK has just had a voicemail from the local environmental health. He rents out a flat (the one he lived in before we moved in together and couldn't sell because of the recession). It was managed through an agent and has been no hassle for that time. The agent has just given up his business, so KFZK went to see the tenant a week or so ago to reintroduce himself (he went round when they first moved in to say they could contact him any time, etc.) and take a look at the place. He was quite dismayed at the state of the decoration. There has been a leak and whilst it had been stopped, it has done some damage to the walls and floors. Anyway, he had a nice amicable chat with the tenant about what needed to be done in the place. He then received a massively ranty email from the tenant that bore no relation to the discussion that they had had, saying he had threatened him by saying he was a litigation lawyer (he had said this in response to the guy asking what he did...) and that the flat was damaging his health, etc. It now seems that he has reported the matter to the enviro health. And not paid rent for the last two months. FFS. This is hassle we really don't need. I think it is just a try on. The old agent told KFZK that the tenant has request a landlord's reference so he wants to move anyway. I think he just wants to get out of paying the rent for the remainder of the time he is there.

Bollix. And tonight was supposed to be the start of sh@g week too. Now I bet he is not in the mood.

MissSlapAndTipple Tue 27-Nov-12 18:06:26

A lovely friend of mine came to see me at the end of the day (we work together) to tell me she was 13 weeks pg. I'm so happy for her but literally can't stop crying. I really think I'm going to crack up with all this shit, I'm so fed of everyone else getting pg easily and me always being the one left behind. I wouldnt wish infertility on anyone thats not what i mean when i say im upset. i just wish it could happen for me. nd because we are friends I'm going to get bombarded with the 'you next' bollocks. Fuck it.

EuroShagmore Tue 27-Nov-12 18:35:56

Oh slap. I am having a down day too. I woke up in the middle of the night certain that I would never have a baby of my own. And I haven't been able to shake the sadness all day.

Come and have a sob on my shoulder in the corner of the bunker.

evilgiraffe Tue 27-Nov-12 19:23:12

I'm sad today too, maybe there's something in the air. I just saw this thread and only just stopped myself from posting something enormously bitter about being grateful you have a DD at all and stop whining about nonsense.

FrankelDeBeauvoir Tue 27-Nov-12 20:17:43

<strokes slappy's hair> It's just shite isn't it. Bloody pregnant women (BESH-grads are exempt from this rant).

I blame the weather for all the down days we're having - we need lots of vitamin D, preferably in sunshine form.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 20:41:14

<passes round gin and Cod of Comfort>

Pregnant friend asked me over dinner whether I was thinking of having children. I gave her an honest answer. Then felt even more shit because she was mortified.

MissSlapAndTipple Tue 27-Nov-12 20:51:36

Tis all extremely shit isn't it. MATV has failed massively on the supportive front and has just adopted a mtfu attitude which is not helping.

I was actually feeling not too bad until today, my friend is lovely but has only been trying since January and it just reminds me how easily it has happened to ALL of my friends. The only friend I have who so struggled now has two kids and has pretty much forgotten what it's like.

I know I have a day or two respite because my friend hasn't told the boss yet so it won't go public until she has, and that probably won't be until Friday so at least I have a few days to regroup. Just feels like shit really. She has two less than fertile sisters a d her best friend also had IVF and she knows about my problems and is very supportive. I just want it to be my turn though. I feel left behind and left out of this elusive exclusive club. I feel like I need to have a cry with someone that understands and I really don't have anyone in RL, so feel very lonely tonight. Haven't stopped crying since my last message so consequently look and feel like shit.

ApocaBugs Tue 27-Nov-12 20:52:11

Name Change complete. Bring on the Zombies <Stern stare>

Sorry for the tenants Euro - In my past life i dealt with this sort of thing a lot. I'd suggest he ring E Health and discuss his plan of action. They only tend to take action on landlords who won't do work.

Winks have you actually pissed on anything yet? What CD is it?

<Gets confused with Winks, Sinks, and Tipple>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 20:57:48

It is CD33 on a standard 28 day cycle. POASd this morning. Chicken liver pate for dinner.

Frankelstein Tue 27-Nov-12 21:03:46

I has name changed too. It's more Halloween than Apocalypse but t'will do for now.

Sorry about the piss stick result Winks

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 21:13:55

Just what I expected frank. If only my boobs would stop hurting and my eyes would stop welling up at absolutely nothing I'd be fine.

Liking the namechanges.

evilgiraffe Tue 27-Nov-12 21:15:48

Good new names, guys <nods approvingly>

I was looking through the children on Be My Parent earlier. It's so tempting to ditch the TTC and sign up for adoption, there are all those children right there. But I'm shit with kids, I think I need a couple of years of babyhood to work out what to do with them.

JethroTull Tue 27-Nov-12 21:19:01

<crawls out from under rock> Hello Hags. Stabbing starts in 3 weeks. I have ordered drugs. I have bought books & dvd's to keep me entertained. I am caffeine & alcohol free.

Am I allowed to come back to the BESH fold pliz?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 21:35:38

Jethro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <clasps to meagre bosom>

You are allowed back because I Have Decreed It. Never thought you'd gone, luvver xxx

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 21:36:03

PS caffeine-free? Should I be doing that <nervous>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 27-Nov-12 21:40:50

'lo Jeff, just wave if rie starts to cut off your oxygen supply smile

JethroTull Tue 27-Nov-12 21:42:46

<throws self at Rie>

I have been mostly lurking.

The Zita West booking says cut down on caffeine. And booze. And to eat more veg. And eat less sugar. Yawn.

JethroTull Tue 27-Nov-12 21:44:11

<throws self at Winkly too>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 21:44:34

PS Apocabugs is such a shit name it's completely brilliant!

I won't be changing names. I would say it's because all my admirers on the rest of MN wouldn't recognise me, but in truth I can't be bothered and I have no admirers on the rest of MN

Slapper and Winkly, I'm so sorry for the shitness sad sad sad

I feel left behind and left out of this elusive exclusive club
That's it. Exactly that.

Re: telling people. MrA told his mother and sister finally. How they will act with the information remains to be seen hmm. I can imagine them just thinking he told them for their information, rather than sharing it so that they had be sensitive over the festive season. Sigh.

EuroShagmore Tue 27-Nov-12 21:46:38

Thanks Bugs. That's helpful. He's really stressed about this. He's quite happy to do the work - in fact he wants to because he wants to sell it as soon as this tenant leaves so he wants it to be in good order. I think the tenant is just trying it on, tbh. It was a lovely little flat when he moved out four years ago, and he had it completely redecorated under 2 years ago. It hasn't been well looked after by this tenant, but it's shit that he is now making that KFZK's problem.

And of course I'm not getting any tonight now. sad

Sorry we are all a bit mizz. We need a bigger cod of comfort.

bluer Tue 27-Nov-12 21:47:39

sorry for the shit day everyone. < hands round pint glasses of gin>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 21:52:17

A bigger cod of comfort you say?

How about this beauty?

Frankelstein Tue 27-Nov-12 21:56:29

Wotcha Jethro, if Rie deems you are fit to return I'm not going to disagree wink
The stabbing is not that bad, I highly recommend the use of ice cubes though.

Rie, glad that MrA finally man-ed up, hope that the outlaws are sensitive, if not just let us know. I'm sure we could get a BESH posse together to, y'know, sort them out <punches fist to hand in menacing fashion> <realises she looks like a knob>

I still can't bring myself to lose the "Frankel" tag sad. Hopefully I'm going to see him in his new home next week grin

EuroShagmore Tue 27-Nov-12 22:02:59

That would do Rie. <hugs giant cod>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 22:06:04

It's a sturgeon <helpful>

Thanks Frank. Having seen pics of you, I can confirm that you do look Very Scary grin.

I might need to get some of those little ice cube freezy box things <a little scared>

Frankelstein Tue 27-Nov-12 22:08:46

Menacing as a bag of kittens me grin

My boy's advertisement page has been released grin

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 27-Nov-12 22:29:41

You want to have Frankel's baybees! grin

Welcome back jeffers! <plants big smackers on lips>

Sorry for the mizzness. Tis crapola, I know. <stock piles gin and fishy cuddles>

evilgiraffe Tue 27-Nov-12 22:51:39

Frankel is the new Northern Dancer, for sure. Fingers crossed his foals are brilliant runners too.

evilgiraffe Tue 27-Nov-12 22:53:35

Oh, and holy crap I had CM today, not egg white and not much, but anything is good as far as I'm concerned. Add that to feeling sad and maybe egg laying is imminent? Sechs done, anyway, and I am SO on it for the next week <positive thinking>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 22:58:02

"Cutting down on caffeine"? I know you are a tea drinker but do you have coffee. I drnk about four cups of tea a day - very rarely any coffee. Does anyone think I should cut down? Re: alcohol, I have got down to the equivalent o about four to five glasses of wine a week. I'm thinking that's still too much for someone about to do AC. Maybe I should cut down further.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 22:58:45

X posts draf. You are SO on it!

SinkyMalinks Tue 27-Nov-12 23:12:25

Sturgeon of solace?

Sorry all are miz. But glad to see Jeffro has managed to commando crawl into the bunker.

I have spent the evening with my finance man. Yawn. But I now have new share. <tries to sound mature and competent while staring blankly at a row of numbers>

bluer Tue 27-Nov-12 23:18:29

Well lovely lily who led me to besh is on chat complaining about her MSN who like to go to sleazy strip clubs and get lots of private dances. Yes I may be bitter lily but at least I have a great man who fancies me <there is no smug icon but if there was this would be it>

bluer Tue 27-Nov-12 23:19:22

Eh that should say man obviously...i've never heard of an MSN at a strip club ..

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 23:21:44

Sturgeon of solace <sniggers>

SinkyMalinks Tue 27-Nov-12 23:22:36

Haha! Are you stalking the lovely Lily bluer?!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 27-Nov-12 23:22:42

Poor Lily <insincere>

bluer Tue 27-Nov-12 23:24:01

I'm not stalking but I am trying desperately to resist posting a response... <takes moral high ground>

MissSlapAndTipple Wed 28-Nov-12 07:23:17

God MN really does love a thread on lap dancers and their evil/desperate ways.

Feel like utter shit today from all the crying. Now I've made myself cry again. Can I take the sturgeon of solace to work with me?

SinkyMalinks Wed 28-Nov-12 07:35:27

You could strap it to the roof of your car/train/tram I suppose...

Sorry you're miz slap. As least you're not a mn clutching her pearls at all the horrible lap dancers.

bluer. You and I must never post on the same thred again (expect this one). It never ends well... You meany you.

Northey Wed 28-Nov-12 07:37:28

jeffy! Glad you made it through the carnage and destruction to the bunker of survival.

I wish LuvverlyLilly would come back to that thread.

tapandslipple, you can have both the Cod and the Sturgeon. The smell will keep people away from your desk so you can have a nice peaceful day.

Northey Wed 28-Nov-12 07:43:07

What have you evil hags done??

rierie, I worry about caffeine consumption and am trying to replace most of my intake with peppermint tea. I just have one cup of coffee in the morning now. And my alcohol consumption is negligible. But I still worry.

evilgiraffe Wed 28-Nov-12 07:49:28

Peppermint tea is definitely the way forward. I drink it by the bucketload, don't usually have tea/coffee at all except at the weekend. That is largely habit rather than specific "cutting down on caffeine", though.

Temp has dropped this morning, yet another potential ovulation sign?! <menkul menkul menkul>

FriendofDorothy Wed 28-Nov-12 08:44:18

Can I just say that this thread kept me entertained for a good while in the middle of the night.

bluer Wed 28-Nov-12 08:44:29

sinks you and I are a mean duo indeed. May have been a bit harsh on reflection but it def read like an advert... I'm still not convinced. Anyway she'd obviously never heard of a spellcheck!

slaps maybe a pocket full of the clams of consolation will be less obvious at work. Sorry you had a shit night

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 08:49:35

I actually lost not one but two mooncups! Reckon they accidentally went in the bin hmm

Hope you have a better day today slaps.

JethroTull Wed 28-Nov-12 09:01:59

Thanks for the welcome back Hags. Sorry for the general level of mizz - am loving the Cod of Comfort & Sturgeon of Solace.

Poor Lilly grin heaven forefend her man should be driven to lap dancing club!

I am only drinking one cup of coffee a day, rest of the time I drink Redbush tea. It's an aquired taste but now normal tea tastes odd.

Drugs are being delivered next week, it's all a bit bloody real now. I think what freaks me out most is the thought of it actually working......

JethroTull Wed 28-Nov-12 09:04:07

Oh and I'm off the booze completely. I can't be trusted to just have the one!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 10:29:36

Morning hags

blue, sinks, that did seem a bit like an advert. However one of the massage therapists at the company in question is a fairly good friend of mine. She's passionate, committed and believes she's helping barren types. The company is vair vair professional, and incredibly busy, so I would be extremely surprised if they'd started doing underhand adverts like that. Apparently they have great success rates too. Dunno if I believe it necessarily, bit woo for my tastes, but then nobody knows everything about how the body works.

I cut caffeine down to two teas a day but I seem to have slipped back into bad habits lately. I think cutting caffeine and booze out completely will be my New Years resolution.

<slips smoked salmon of strength trimmings into slap's handbag>

<rolls self in droid rust>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 11:54:14

Peppermint tea????? YUCKERMAMA!!!

I think I will try and stick to two cups of tea a day. Maybe three? Whatever my conception problems are, they're not caused by caffeine, I'm fairly confident. I will Ask The Nurse tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Needles Training <sticks head in sand>

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 12:01:45

I quite like peppermint tea and its great for digestion. Redbush vanilla is good too.

I imagine reducing caffiene can help but I think for any BESH it's a lot more complicated than that.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 12:02:19

Ps hope it goes well tomorrow rie.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 12:09:00

The smell of peppermint tea makes me vom. No joke. Lemon.& ginger is pretty nice though. With the added bonus of not needing milk.

Good luck tomorrow rie [top of the class emoticon]

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 12:17:31

Fanks hags.

I'm the same with mint. The only mint I like is mint sauce on roast lamb and Yorkshires. If someone is eating a mint near me I have to move away. It makes me feel genuinely ill. Troo fact - I was going through a very stinky farty stage once and feared I had IBS, and someone told me that a couple of mint leaves in a mug of hot water was good for this, so I did it and actually puked in the kitchen sink. And that, I'm sure we'll agree, is a very interesting story.

Northey Wed 28-Nov-12 12:32:22

I'm not sure if I'm more entranced by the farting or the puking detail.

Good luck for stabbing training! I fort you were doing IUI. Do you ned to stab for that? Or have I completely misunderstood what IUI actually involves?

EuroShagmore Wed 28-Nov-12 12:32:40

Rie it's the most interesting thing I have heard all day. But then I do work at a law firm.

I gave up caffeine for 6 months. And alcohol. Did I get pregnant? Nope. So I'm back on the wine and coffee now. I don't have much though. Wine, because my friends are all preggers or lightweights with newborns and coffee because I am very caffeine sensitive and more than one makes me a bit jittery.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 12:35:03

I have to stab for IUI to be awash with eggs. For this reason I need to be prepared for the prospect of multiples. One in three resulting pregnancies is twins and one in a hundred is triplets. I am very afraid of this.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 12:36:52

Rie I am glad its not just me. I hate going out for a nice dinner only to have some fucker ruin it by ordering a mint tea at the end. Mint sauce for lamb makes me sick as well, fresh mint and mojitos don't.

I have just been sick and want to cry. If I'm not diffed where is my period and why am I being tortured? If I am diffed why did I not get a positive result when I POASd? <sobs>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 12:37:46

Twins is cool rie, ex-gf won twins and they are fabulous.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 13:35:43

Ooh lillly has been called on doing a Fred similar before and the state of relationships! shock One wonders if she's really in a position to judge barrenness?

On a totally random and unrelated note, do you think All that she wants by Ace of Base is really about the most extreme way to TTC?!

FriendofDorothy Wed 28-Nov-12 13:38:30

I would have loved to have had twins. Was tragically disappointed to find out there was only one. Felt most ungrateful and then got over myself.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 13:47:20

lillly has ishoos. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

I have often thought that "All That She Wants" is about a woman heading out to steal spermz from unsuspecting men.

JethroTull Wed 28-Nov-12 13:57:35

Vom, Mint Tea & Ace of Bass....only on the BESH fred.

I agree Faif that just giving up coffee & wine won't win me a baby. I like to feel like I am Doing Somthing though IYSWIM?

Sorry for puking Winkly - are you at work? I am sat at my desk feeling ill. I think I am Gettting Myself In a State about everything. I want to go home & go to bed.

I quite like mint tea. But mojitots are better.

Good luck at stabbing lesson Rie. remember you're more likely to win one baybee than two or three.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 14:03:36

Not at work jeff, I start nights tonight so am currently Sitting On My Arse. Sorry you feel ill. Can you slide off early and go for a nap?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 15:23:08

I know exactly what you mean jeff. I think it's good for your system to have minimal caffiene in it, especially when you are outsourcing the baybee winning. Actually since being diffed my body has pretty much rejected caffiene....

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 15:24:57

X-posts wink. Boo, nights suck. Well especially the waiting to go to the first one! The best thing is coming home when other people are leaving for work. There's a sense of smugness to knowing you've worked all night and get to go to bed soon! smile

EuroShagmore Wed 28-Nov-12 15:45:58

Random puking, eh, winkly.

Hmmm. <Eyes up kidneys>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 15:49:23

<protects kidneys>

I already POASd euro and there was no so much as the faintest hint of a whisper of a second line.

evilgiraffe Wed 28-Nov-12 16:16:27

Eeeeep! Spotting! Another ov sign! AN ACTUAL SIGN!

<menkulling like crazy>

HOTB had better be feeling amorous this evening...

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 17:11:55

Good shagging to you draf

<draws Privacy Curtain round SechingCorner of the Bunker>
<observes that the Bunker has a lot of corners and must be a very odd shape>

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 28-Nov-12 18:02:53

Evening hags!

Welcome back jethro I always think of 24 when I see your name, am I alone in that

I am totally unwitty from working a fair bit since getting home from hols. So I missed lilly and all the other freds and kittens. I did get the mint-vom. My (male) boss had a mint tea with our meeting today... It would have been quite entertaining to vom there and then.

Good luck for the needle class Rie. Do you know what medication you will be jabbing, yet? I can do extended protocols not a scientist, honestly on menopur stabbing. Also I am joining you in the stabby IUI camp next week unless I am diffed, which I am not

Good luck with Le Sechsing draffy

Read all the faith stuff, seems a lot of bother. Just thinking of the whole PoP (pile of poo) as bad luck is bad enough. No need to involve a fourth or fifth in our reproductive process (besides the lab tech and the doc).

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 28-Nov-12 18:03:32

On faif, helly fat one, how's the belly progressing?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 18:12:13

Progressing nicely, thanks for asking drizzlyone! Still not hugely obvious in normal clothes - probably a combo of the 'titled' uterus and no weight gain yet (yay me!) - but definite bump in my work tunics. Feeling movement which is exciting!

Obvious ovving draflikelaydee! Put your sechsy undies on! smile

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 18:18:00

Stabby central here soon smile

I just POAnotherStick. There may have been a second line OR it may be a trick of the light. Too difficult to call it. I have been testing with these internet cheapies which don't have the best reviews - a lot of people are saying the line is too faint or they were getting negatives when they actually were diffed. So do I go to tesco and buy a clear blue?

MissSlapAndTipple Wed 28-Nov-12 18:25:18

Don't drink for two hrs, get your rear to tesco and get a good 'un and PEE ON IT!!!! GO GO GO GO !!!!!!

EuroShagmore Wed 28-Nov-12 18:26:45

YES! <Excited>

bluer Wed 28-Nov-12 18:36:36

Yes! <hops around excitedly>

<whispers> I got my first ever smiley face on opk today - Mr.DF goes out to work at 10 - we last seched on Mon night - should I jump him or will tomorrow be ok? And if I still get a smiley tomorrow what day would you reckon OV happens? I need to get a blood test and I was thinking next Fri would prob be seven days post-Ov? Shit this stuff is too blooming complicated...

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 18:38:24

Oooh I would jump him blue

evilgiraffe Wed 28-Nov-12 18:42:06

Squeeeee! Get thee to tesco, winks!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 18:43:41

Definitely jump him bluemoon!

ooh BFP on the IC cheapies were very fuzzy. Don't get a clearblue ripoff I'd suggest getting a first response early reponse. Two hours after two fuzzy cheapies I got an instant clear (double) line on an FRER.

bluer Wed 28-Nov-12 18:44:36

thanks winks think I'll have a shot. He's claimed a headache since I've got home but I'm game for the challenge!
Let us know as soon as you POAS smile

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 18:45:59

Slap, DON'T PEE ON IT TONIGHT. Wait until the morning with extra strong piss.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 18:46:19

I think when if it comes back negative you lot will be more disappointed than me!

Right. I am going to nap then have a shower then go to tesco then POAExpensiveS at around 9pm.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 18:46:28

Bugger. Meant Winks. Sorry.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 18:47:19

Rie how would the hunt for FMU fit in with a night shift? Perhaps I should wait til.I get up tomorrow afternoon?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 18:50:36

Ah. That I don't know.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 18:51:45

Yes technically FMU would really be 'weeing after you've been asleep for a long period' wee. Waiitng til after you've slept. That is what I recommend. That is not what I did at all

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 28-Nov-12 19:01:47

Ok. New plan.

I will purchase expensive peesticks tonight on the way to work, then test when I get up tomorrow. This buys the droid almost a full extra day to make an appearance, and in the unlikely event of me being diffed gives hormone levels another day to rise.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 19:05:23

I think that's a sound plan.

JethroTull Wed 28-Nov-12 19:11:54

Winkly what Rie suggests is sensible. I am from the same camp - what did former BESH Cass once say?? NGCECOPOASE.

Definitely jump him Blu.

I am ill. And in bed. Night all.

Full report needed tomorrow on stabbing pliz Rie

Frankelstein Wed 28-Nov-12 19:35:45

<waves Pom Poms in a subtle manner>


bluer Wed 28-Nov-12 19:38:53

Right...action plan seduce husband is on! He doesn't cope well with..em....pressure to do sech at certain times so i'm trying currently to make him think its his idea grin

MissSlapAndTipple Wed 28-Nov-12 21:00:22

I just had a right grump on a thread in Relationships about a bloke who wouldn't put out. I feel better for my outburst but think I may have overstepped the mark. It just annoys me sometimes that men have to have their ego stroked so much in order to feel like they can justify to themselves that we are worthy of impregnation.

I am still in a bad mood and yes I will be keeping the Sturgeon of Solace and the Cod of Comfort. I ate the salmon trimmings for lunch. Sorry.

bluer Wed 28-Nov-12 21:09:07

Well turn out he was a willing participant!
Your comment was spot on slap <takes hat off and tips it>

Frankelstein Wed 28-Nov-12 21:31:23

Well seduced blue grin

Slap I've waded in a little in that thread, but looks like poor MrBeta's pride has been wounded. Don your tin hat!

EuroShagmore Wed 28-Nov-12 21:32:34

I've commenced shag week tonight. I see others have dealt with the horizontal jogging tonight too. grin

blu next Friday sounds about right to me. Woo hoo for the smiley face!

Frankelstein Wed 28-Nov-12 21:39:08

I have been promised sechs on Friday (HWHNN has gone back to the Big Smoke today), so I'm hoping I don't ov in the next 36 or so hours. TBH I can't trust my body's signs anymore as it all seems to contradict itself! Of course, seeing as it is "only" CD21 here, I'm probably a long way from ov hmm

evilgiraffe Wed 28-Nov-12 21:40:17

Slap, you were fine, but the answer you have received has my blood boiling. So much so, I've not dared to reply, because all I really want to say is "do fuck off".

bluer Wed 28-Nov-12 21:43:51

Ha maybe all us ladies are ending up with synchronised cycles!
Thanks euro I will book appointment tomorrow...its murder getting a last min app at my doc...last time the stupid receptionist nearly made me cry as she just couldn't grasp that no a week on tues is no ducking good I need my test now otherwise i've got to wait another five Weeks for the next window for progesterone !

MissSlapAndTipple Wed 28-Nov-12 21:48:08

He's missing the point. We talk so much about the pressure for the poor men, people tend to forget how intense the pressure is on women too. Sometimes we crack - hence my response to his comment which any other day I'd have been very sympathetic towards but not this week.

evilgiraffe Wed 28-Nov-12 22:37:17

The pressure is predominantly on the woman, I reckon, what with all the tests and suchlike. It's just that it's easy to see when men are not feeling all there - women can hide it but for men there's nowhere to hide.

Anyway, a little bit of a false start, but sechsing completed smile Still spotting, but a negative LH stick - but then I've not bothered using sticks for about a year, and those ones went out of date in June so I'm not paying much attention to them.

SinkyMalinks Wed 28-Nov-12 22:45:06

What is this relationship fred plz? I will not be posting however. I don't think I can be trusted.

evilgiraffe Wed 28-Nov-12 23:08:39

This one, sinks.

Frank, what did you say that got deleted?!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 28-Nov-12 23:21:35

It's all bollocks sad

I have sympathy for the op, except I cannot forgive her her username.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Thu 29-Nov-12 01:24:33

So would you kick me out of the Bunker if I changed my username to "wantsalicklebubba"? smile

Very good effort on the sechsing ladies. I am always impressed by women who can seduce their husbands. HWCA (husband without a cool acronym - I finally came up with a name for him, inspired by Phineas And Ferb) is Resistant to seducing. Not a new problem, but I do feel for the OP in that fred.

Expensive pee sticks purchased ready for FAU (first afternoon urine)

Northey Thu 29-Nov-12 05:11:06

Good stuff, * winkle*. Have you cracked yet and had a sneaky mid-shift wee on one just in case?

WinklyVersusTheZombies Thu 29-Nov-12 05:17:35

Nope locked them in the boot of my car so I wouldn't get tempted smile I was overcome by 3am melancholia though and have re-convinced myself I'm not diffed.

You're up with the lark Norf!

Northey Thu 29-Nov-12 05:22:18

Full bladder. Trying to fall back to sleep without actually getting up into the cold and voiding it.

And I had a bizarre sort of nightmare about being on a river taxi going down the Thames in flood. And there was some sort of weird waterfall thing the boat went over.

Nope, no good, I'm going to have to get up and wee.

SinkyMalinks Thu 29-Nov-12 07:09:01

There's no hope of me ever going back to sleep lie that norf- but I always try especially when it's so old out of bed!

Is it the weekend yet hags?

SinkyMalinks Thu 29-Nov-12 07:09:23

Cold. Not old.

Frankelstein Thu 29-Nov-12 07:14:39

evil I didn't say anyfing! Honest! All I said was when you've been through countless undignified tests, had surgery, taken medication with nasty side effects and had to inject yourself with drugs, it is more than a tad annoying to hear someone say "He is under too much pressure."

I certainly didn't ask for the post to be removed! I've sent a message to HQ to ask what is going on. I've never had a post deleted before!

evilgiraffe Thu 29-Nov-12 07:39:40

Aha, I see! Very mysterious about the deletion, all of what you said seems both fair and accurate.

Good work locking the sticks away, wink. Fingers crossed for this afternoon!

EuroShagmore Thu 29-Nov-12 10:23:29

Mysterious deletion!

I think Clomid is tricky because it has side effects for the woman and most drs recommend that it is only taken for a limited number of months, so "wasting" a month is quite a big deal, perhaps meaning the couple is more likely to end up at IVF (with yet more side effects for the woman). I can see that there is pressure on the bloke and that increasing it doesn't help, but it's not like it's all bubbles and kittens for us in that situation.

KFZK and I dealt with this sort of issue early on. In our second month of TTC I had to go away for a hearing - hugely stressful and with lots of long days in the run up. One evening I managed to escape and came home to dtd. He wasn't in the mood. I had a bit of a hissy fit (I had been living on about 3 hrs sleep a night for a couple of weeks and wasn't in the best of moods) and explained to him that there are only 12 chances per year. If he can't be bothered for one of them, then there are only 11, etc. He got it. We've had the odd physical sechsfail since when he has been knackered, but he's never just "not been in the mood" again at the relevant time.

I'm going to have to have words with my junior. He was in the US last week and bought back peanut butter cups - my food nemesis. Normally this would be a good thing, but I have to get into a bikini soon. Cries

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 29-Nov-12 10:35:26

There is a huge difference between a chap saying he's 'not in the mood' and physically being incapable of getting it up. Obviously in retrospect we know that the hormone imbalance with MSB played a big role in that but it was a huge issue for us. Even though I was diffed by the time we had counselling, we had to talk that through - it was like a TTC hangover! I had ishoos of feeling rejected/not attractive enough and at times he'd been very hurt by my reaction to the sechs fails. Telling him to 'man up' in that situation would have been futile! Now I'm diffed we're no sechsing much. It's kind of like a relief that we don't have to, you know?

I posted on a chat thread a while back that waiting had posted. Background is that she basically hasn't been ovulating for probably a couple of years so I imagine the pressure the first month with the scan showing she has is immense!

euro when and where are you off to? Can you ration the peanut butter cups? Take a couple a day to work with you?

<waits impatiently for wink to wake up>

EuroShagmore Thu 29-Nov-12 11:09:33

faif I'm off to the sunny Maldives. I've never been on holiday in December before. But I don't deal well with winter, so a bit of sunshine will be wonderful. I cannot wait!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Thu 29-Nov-12 11:24:17

Clear blue digital says not diffed sad I'm a full week late, if I was diffed it would show by now.


SinkyMalinks Thu 29-Nov-12 13:13:24

Sorry * winkly*. I've never used a digital (never though there was enough hope of diffedness) but the words rather than the crappysingle line must be tough.

<liberally throws droid rust in winkly's direction>

ZombieTipple Thu 29-Nov-12 13:19:46

Sorry for BFN winkle. Think you need to have words with the droid.

I don't think I got my point across very well last night, I should more have taken euros line of fire because that is what I meant. I know blokes don't need to know about pant snot but they do need to know how it all works and if they get that stressed under pressure that it results in lack of ejaculation then as a couple you need to find a way around it. Often though, they think they know best and get on their high horse about doing it.

Anyway, I've been on my high horse a lot lately and am not helping myself at all. I'm going to take a break until the new year and keep clear of forums and such like and sort my self out emotionally or I'm just going to burn out. Take cares - will see you on the other side of the apocalypse xx

ApocaBugs Thu 29-Nov-12 13:36:17

Unless we all get eaten by Zombies?!

Sorry for BFN Winks - Clear blue are made by the devil you know. True fact. I trust superdrug own brand non digital ones as i had both BFP's on those but look how they bloody turned out.

Cd24 ish here, I can pee on something this time next week as i laid my egg a week ago. We only managed the sechs on the Thursday so i doubt very much i am diffed.

Winks my droid went AWOL for a while Feb - July 2011. It was due to the stress caused by my final exams. I'm sure yours will turn up again when you least expect it. If no, POAS in a couple of days but do it with FMU. Its by far the strongest concentrate of pee.

I'm effed off. Had my interview and as some selfish nobber is off sick so can't be interviewed, i won't find out if i got the job for weeks. Its the job i currently do btw!!

EuroShagmore Thu 29-Nov-12 13:59:23

Sorry about the BFN and the awol droing, winks.

Just had acu. On my last notes she had written "poss preg". That was at 9am last monday. By 9pm I definitely wasn't. Sigh. In one way I'm glad-it confirms I wasn't just being menkul about that last cycle being weird.

ApocaBugs Thu 29-Nov-12 16:58:10

That's veh interesting Euro even though hugely wank too.

See what this cycle is like, it shows something is working somewhere. Keep at it.

<pats Euro on back>

Frankelstein Thu 29-Nov-12 17:04:19

I have had an email from MNHQ. Apparently the OP if that thread had requested that the whole thread be deleted, but someone got their wires crossed and just zapped my post! RebeccaMN confirmed to me "You did nowt wrong!" grin

Sorry for BFN .Winks angry

bluer Thu 29-Nov-12 20:20:54

Sorry winks

evilgiraffe Thu 29-Nov-12 20:32:43

Aww, winks sad sorry to hear that.

No more ov signs today, so will not be sechsing HOTB this evening unless he starts it

WinklyVersusTheZombies Thu 29-Nov-12 21:09:04

I had a horrible day today. Felt wretched. This has been such a stressful month or so, with work & problems with sex & porn & lies & barrenness. My asthma has been rubbish so I've not exercised, and i put on weight under stress. So i have looked at myself and realised I am officially a Fat Bastard too.

I need head rest. I am going to not have sex, and not come here so much. I AM going to exercise and lose some weight and after Christmas I will stop drinking altogether and maybe start a course or something.

And I am going to smack the friend I met for dinner the other night. She phoned today wondering if I had heard of ovulation test kits because it worked for her ON HER SECOND MONTH TRYING. Thanks for that, I'd never heard.of them. (I'm not even cross really. She is a lovely person and wanted to help. One of life's problem solvers)

euro I am pleased in a way for you that you weren't just menkulling.

Fishy buzzwam gropes to all.

bluer Thu 29-Nov-12 21:50:12

Please someone come on and tell me that if I got a positive opk last night and sechef out won't matter that a don't tonight. I feel like crying...he's just gone to sleep.
I know he's tired...i'm bloody tired but I have this rage now that he won't even try it.

JethroTull Thu 29-Nov-12 21:56:01

Winks I am sorry for the wretchedness. TTC is exhausting sometimes isn't it. Not just the deed but everything that goes with it. It's relentless.

Bugs your work stuff sounds annoying. Nothing worse than Waiting To Find Out is there?

JethroTull Thu 29-Nov-12 21:58:19

Blu x post sorry. It won't matter. You are better off having the sechs last night having a night off then maybe doing it again tomorrow. Better spermz if you give it a days rest.

bluer Thu 29-Nov-12 22:02:26

Thanks Jethro...sometimes the whole ttc thing is so lonely esp when the other person doesn't show the same level of need. I just keep thinking there goes another months. I feel so alone with it...if we never get there I don't think he'll feel the same pain.

bluer Fri 30-Nov-12 10:13:32

Well sorry about last night moan...things always seem worse at night and better in the morning. I think the ttc evil wee devil had me...this morning i'm thankful for my great life and mr. df. Got to keep everything in perspective and if not there's always boxing to punch out the blues smile
Also in case this positive mood doesn't last there's oodles of gin

JethroTull Fri 30-Nov-12 14:53:18

Exactly Bluer. I'm a huge fan of the punchbags too. Do you have lessons or go to classes?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 30-Nov-12 15:12:21

Ooh, I would love to box. Can a 37 year old skinny woman just turn up and learn?

WinklyVersusTheZombies Fri 30-Nov-12 16:55:19

Blue I love you! You have provided the answer to all my questions - how to destress, how to exercise, what 'new' thing to take up. I have found a local kickboxing academy and signed up for a free lesson. Glad you're feeling better by the way.

Droid appears to have come, for anyone who is interested nobody
Clearly it was waiting for me to POAExpensiveStick.

JethroTull Fri 30-Nov-12 18:23:35

Bollocks to the droid Winkly. I hate it when the metal fucker messes with your head.

Rie yes, just turn up. I love it. An hour on the bag takes away all my frustrations.

bluer Fri 30-Nov-12 18:33:13

I go to classes and I love it! I was fairly unfit and a size 16 in the summer but with ttc etc and getting on I didn't feel good about myself. I'm now a 12 (I don't weigh myself but doc days i've lost a stone) & I know I've lost inches off my waist and hips. I would recommend it!

JethroTull Fri 30-Nov-12 20:46:55

Good going Blu. I've lost half a stone since we got our dog. Stress & walking! Glad your sounding more chirpy smile

Frankelstein Fri 30-Nov-12 21:08:10

Sorry about the droid Winks, it always happens to me like that angry

Blue, sorry I missed you moan, but glad it's all sorted now.

Well, I went to see the boy today grin. He's looking very well, and incredibly chilled out for a young stallion. At this time of year, during the big bloodstock sales, the studs all put on a bit of a show to prospective clients. We got a chauffeur driven car from the sales to the stud, where we were greeted with champagne, hot chocolate and fresh homemade sausage rolls grin. The hot chocolate was to die for! Like drinking melted chocolate <divine>

Frankel himself was the picture of contentment, so chilled out and behaved like he'd been doing this all his life. Such a clever boy!

Northey Fri 30-Nov-12 21:27:33

You watched Frankel sechsing?!

Frankelstein Fri 30-Nov-12 21:30:12

No, that doesn't start till February! He was just parading and standing for inspection today.

I've seen enough horse sechsing to last me a lifetime fanks!

Northey Fri 30-Nov-12 21:51:13

Stop pretending you wouldn't be there like a shot if you had the chance of watching your boy on th job!

bluer Fri 30-Nov-12 22:06:10

Thanks everyone! We got the sa back today and all normal so looks like the issues lie with me grin ach well could be worse! Off to spend tomorrow visiting other peoples bubba...I may not have one myself but for the first time ever I is skinnier than all my friends who have piled it on with all the kids <slightly smug but I'd be happy as a pig in shit to be a big far momma>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Fri 30-Nov-12 22:45:31

Bluer, the word bubba along with hubby, babydust and hun, is Not Allowed <stern>

Northey Fri 30-Nov-12 22:53:09

Unless you were being sarky about their own ghastly way of referring to their baybees? <hopeful>

Northey Fri 30-Nov-12 22:54:18

I believe babydust is permissible for snorting through a rolled up fifty. But otherwise no.

bluer Fri 30-Nov-12 22:56:31

They all call them bubba or mr gorgeous or cutie...I guess a deal of irony could be read into my post! I tend to call them wains!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 30-Nov-12 23:13:10

Bubs?! Eurgh confused that sounds very hunny. Go on, fess up, they're on netmums aren't they?!

Glad you had fun frank.

Commiserations on the droid factor wink. Definitely waiting for you to POAExpensiveStick!

bluer Fri 30-Nov-12 23:17:37

Oh they're all turning into different nappies, routines, structured play, silly photo shoots... <sigh>
And what's with the nickname thing anyway?

Northey Fri 30-Nov-12 23:18:00

How iz you, havinganicklefaithbubba?

evilgiraffe Fri 30-Nov-12 23:44:04

Bubba really turns my stomach, always has. A good friend of mine says it about her unborn baybee, it sets my teeth on edge!

Out of date LH sticks gave me a positive today! HOTB duly obliged, all is well with the world. I am feeling really cheerful this cycle, I suspect the inevitable arrival of the droid will really hit me hard this time. Still, at least we're putting some work in before heading for IVF referral. I am still hopeful for a last-chance baybee win.

And boo to the droid, wink, though at least turning up is one worry off your mind?

Much as I hate the pet names for kids, I understand how it happens. My cats, for instance, have several names each, including "big stupid ginger idiot", which is probably inadvisable for use with children...

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 00:03:08

Pet names should be comical! I call the hamster 'Fatty fatty boom boom', Er because he's massive. He's a long haired Syrian. He's not actually that fat, it's just tonnes of fluff. This is why we chose 'Pickle' for the bump. Bubs etc are puke tastic!

I'm alright norf, good and bad things. Bad being ongoing nausea still (!) and tired because work is tough. Good being Pickle becoming very wriggly which is weird and awesome in equal measure. Pretty much half way now! Really should go to sleep but hey, day off tomorrow! smile

How's things norf? Work? Ferapy?

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 08:47:10

My first mc was exactly a year ago. <sigh>

SinkyMalinks Sat 01-Dec-12 09:08:41

sad bugs. Do you have something distracting and fun to do today?

Frankelstein Sat 01-Dec-12 09:32:32

sad for you bugs. Like Sinks said, can you distract yourself today?

We still haven't achieved sechs yet hmm. I'm pretty sure I haven't laid my egg yet, though I'm getting some extra CM <over share>. Ideally I'd like to ov sometime soon so that we can have a shot at the next cycle over Christmas - HWHNN will be home for 3 weeks <novelty> grin

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 01-Dec-12 10:35:01

Hello LovelyBugger <sneaky hug> Has it really been a year? Do Nice Things today and that's an order.

More Sechs needed here too. Or even some Sechs at all. This is absolutely the Last Chance Saloon before stabbing starts in December. Unfortunately I have to go to my parents' this weekend and cope with mad parents. Why is life such a bundle of shite?

JethroTull Sat 01-Dec-12 11:43:23

<silently doles out cod & sturgeon>

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 12:29:05

I LUFF the new smileys!!

Nope, nothing good to do today except dwell like fuck on a mammoth fall out i've had with one of my best best friends over a HUGE misunderstanding. Its been a catalyst and she's basically said that for weeks she's been getting pissed off with me etc and only now does she tell me. Its like a HUGE kick in the teeth. I feel heartbroken and even worse given the timing.

I will walk over hot coals for my friends, hardly any of them would do the same for me. Bastards.

Sorry to be me me me.

alwyn Sat 01-Dec-12 17:27:39

[gives rie's buzzwams a squeeze]

bugs that sucks sad Any chance of reconciliation?

SinkyMalinks Sat 01-Dec-12 17:35:59

Don't worry bugs. Is this a "mammoth today forgotten tomorrow" kind of mammoth fall out? I do a good line in them. Sorry if it is more serious.

<adds scale of sympathy to cod of comfort (he was getting pretty bare due to all the fondling)>

SinkyMalinks Sat 01-Dec-12 17:36:40

I meant don't worry about being me me me. Not an irritating, pat on the head don't worry.

DolomitesDonkey Sat 01-Dec-12 17:38:37

faith my second is pickle! smile first is potato. Or julian when he was a bump - because we both felt julian was a hideous name. How many of you have I offended?

bugs I'm so sorry your friends are being shit, but you know your dogs are the er... Dogs.

Ariel are you not taking MrA to the parents? If not, I can have a flick through the phonebook and see if I can line up some sechs with an old pal if you like.

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 18:18:56

I am having a well earned night to myself tonight. The dogs have been run and are tired, GP has gone out to a prior arrangement and i'm just chilling out and trying not to dwell.

Can I ask a question <shouts> KAT you could answer this. I laid an egg last Thursday / Friday. When can i POAS? I need to take aspirin as soon as i get a BFP so need to test early.

Anyone else care to advise?

Hey I'm possibly coming to that there London at the end December. Anyone fancy an ESH meet up / coffee?

DolomitesDonkey Sat 01-Dec-12 18:25:12

bugs with both of mine I took aspirin from laying the egg until about 5 weeks.

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 18:30:18

Oh feck. I will take some tonight then in a panic.

Balls. I wish i'd known that.

So you took it every cycle until droids arrival?

I've run out of CBFM piss sticks too. CD25 and its asking for sticks, and i've run out. Its only cycle 1. I'm doomed.

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 18:31:46

Also, I'm going back to the hospital on Wednesday where i think i'll be given clomid. Am i right in thinking that the shag dictator won't work on clomid?

Frankelstein Sat 01-Dec-12 18:39:44

It might work Bugs, but Clomid can do funny things to your hormone levels, so it might not be reliable.

I've still got Kat's Shag Dictator if anyone wants to use it. Tis no good for a shrivelled old, cyst-ridden barren like me [bwink]

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 18:44:55

Franks can you give me a bit of an idiots guide to Clomid?

How often do you take it; are there side effects; what does it do? etc.

DolomitesDonkey Sat 01-Dec-12 18:51:49

bugs I didn't see how I had anything to lose by taking aspirin. I'd had one early mc and a couple more suspected chemicals. One of the besh had read somewhere that aspirin could help, so I did. The report mentioned particularly for overweight women, so obviously you don't fall in to that category.

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 18:59:56

Well i've taken one and done a bit of googling. It does say to wait for bfp mostly. One won't hurt i'm sure.

When can i POAS?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 19:08:42

Hey bugtastic sorry things seem so crap at the moment. <passes gin for awful anniversary>

Do you have cheapies or sensitive tests? I think 10dpo would be the earliest you'd get a reliable BFP so maybe Monday with FMU?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 19:09:00

oh evening to everyone else too!

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 19:26:09

Thanks faith. I have some cheapies so will begin the sticks on Monday with FMU.

My boobs don't feel pregnant but I am having lots of womble feelings and my ignorant cat is constantly harrassing me for fusses. She normally steers well clear of me but in both my pregnancies she's been like a shadow, always standing and paddling on my tummy / chest. I've just shoved her off so i can type.

Menkul Menkul Menkul.

Anyway, enough shiz about me. What is everyone else up to? Owt good on telly tonight?

SinkyMalinks Sat 01-Dec-12 19:30:45

Bugs, I've endured had 8 clomid cycles. You take it once a day from cd 2-6 (but think it can vary a little - some start a bit later). Lots of folk have no side effects. I got really vivid dreams, particularly in my latter cycles. A bit unpleasant really, and lingered till mid cycle, but I think I was a bit unusual. Hot flushes I think are the things most people mention.

Are you getting ultrasound monitoring? I didn't, just intermittent day 21 bloods (when I arranged them myself, but that's my crappy unit for you)

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 19:37:52

I haven't a clue Sinks. They've simply said that if the 'swim up' test on GP's SA comes back ok i'll be given it. A girl I work with who is diffed via IVF took it and saw the same consultant. She was scanned every other day. I hate internal scans. I always feel so violated!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 19:46:32

Weird with cats isn't it? I went to see a friend when I was about 11 weeks, not sure whether to tell her or not (the one who lost her baybee at 35 weeks). I thought the game was up when her cat crawled into my lap!

Saturday night telly is abysmal! I may end up watching crap factor for lack of anything else. Maybe I should put a Christmas film on?

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 19:52:47

Its a bit early for Xmas films. According to me anyway!!

I've spent too many hours in my sewing room already this week but i might crawl in there to hide and make lovely things.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 20:01:23

I was contemplating The Holiday....

bluer Sat 01-Dec-12 20:22:15

Sorry for the bad day bugs. I hate falling out with friends...but people tend to take advantage of my generally good nature and really push it sometimes.
What do you sew? I'm a quilter and cross stitcher!

FriendofDorothy Sat 01-Dec-12 20:32:33

Shag dictator definitely doesn't work when on Clomid. I didn't realise that though and was very confused by a high on the dictator nearly all month!

I didn't get many side-effects from the Clomid, but I was only on 50mg.

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 21:18:54

Jude Law <dribble>

I sew cushions, door stops and general yummy stuff.

My machine does quilting but i'm not really sure how you 'quilt'. Dor has made the most AMAZING quilt for herself and one for someone else. I want to make a Xmas one. <brown nose>

I've just tried to find the BESH fred from when i got my BFP on 28th October 2012 and can't. I have however found the one from when LP lost her 2nd and now a year later, almost to the date she's a big waddling differ.

There is always hope.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 21:27:06

Was your first BFP on the rugby fred bugs?

I've ended up watching crap factor. I think I'm going to crawl into bed. 5.45am alarm set sad

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 21:31:44

Tis here bugs but are you sure it will help to look at it? (Twas 2011, wasn't it?)

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 21:31:51

I've just found it. It was on an angry BESH fred asking to be cut some slack.

Feels like a lifetime ago!

I don't resent the year I've had without a baybee, but you know, sometimes it really stings and makes me want to throw things.

We will all get our baybees. We will. All the CRESH were once BESH just like us, down, angry, feeling helpless and at times utter shite. They now have to deal with snot, poo, puke and all the other lovely things that baybees bring.

bluer Sat 01-Dec-12 21:42:09

I have just finished a quilt made out of old baby clothes for my friends wee boy...I enjoyed it but now some of her friends who I don't know are offering to pay for me to make one for them! worked out I'd taken about thirty hours on it and I'd need to charge a lot to make it worthwhile! I'm not interested though...I like to make things for people because its the kind of thing money can't buy wink

ApocaBugs Sat 01-Dec-12 21:43:50

The kittens are awake. Squeeee

FriendofDorothy Sat 01-Dec-12 22:25:08

I could never charge people for my quilts they would cost far, far too much!

I am making a baby quilt at the moment which is ok but I am not keen on it at the moment!

bluer Sat 01-Dec-12 22:54:15

I would never charge either! Its the same with the cross stitch...last birth sampler took about 100 hours so money can't buy it!

Northey Sun 02-Dec-12 06:03:07

The moon is so bright it's like daylight outside!

<menkuls for bugs and proffers aspirin in the manner of a shady drug dealer>

I so wish I could sew.

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 08:48:46

Cross stitch is a bit like painting by numbers norf but it does take ages! I find it relaxing and usually do it when watching the Telly...I do go at a fair old clip now wink

ApocaBugs Sun 02-Dec-12 09:37:58

Morning hags.

I had the most awful vivid dreams / nightmares last night so am a bit dozy still. Bear with me pliz.... and send caffeine.

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 10:28:51


SinkyMalinks Sun 02-Dec-12 11:14:19

bugs, I always thought that I got vivid dreams on clomid due to the high progesterone.. <let me fuel that menkul for you>

I'm in the evil Trafford Centre. I need to blitz some Xmas shopping. But when the Internet says it opens at 10, it means the centre opens at 10. The fecking shops open at 12. Arsewipe.

Am sat drinking coffee. I've spoken to the one friend who's answering her phone. And I'm surrounded by happy young families (and decrepit old people, but that angers me less)

SinkyMalinks Sun 02-Dec-12 11:15:06

Oh, and have some of my brew

evilgiraffe Sun 02-Dec-12 11:43:03

Today is a gloriously sunny day, though smile <spreads the feel-good vibes>

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 21:17:37

Evening all...lovely crisp day out there and now the snow starts smile
If I got a positive opk on wed is my window of opportunity well and truly closed? Trying to decide whether its worth the effort or just go to sleep!

Griffomais Sun 02-Dec-12 21:45:23

Hey Bluer give it a go - might be your month. Good luck smile

Northey Sun 02-Dec-12 21:59:40

Who is griff? Have I missed a name change? Or is this a new rebel refugee in the bunker?

Griffomais Sun 02-Dec-12 22:03:20

Hi Northey I am griff and fairly new - how are u?

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 22:18:19

Turns out it was all is fast asleep and i'm not sure I could've worked up the energy. I'm guessing it would really be too late anyway smile

SinkyMalinks Sun 02-Dec-12 22:23:10

Would you be new blood Griff?

Before we lower the zombie defensive wall, we must see a BESHtionnaire. In order to ensure you're not one of the undead, you understand.

I iz contemplating buying a fanciful new dress, for no other reason that I want to, it's the festive season, and well, I want to. And I have a party (presumably, at some point I will go to an Xmas do). Anyone fancy giving an opinion?

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 22:25:18

You can never have too many fancy dresses sinks
Throw caution to the wind and treat yourself

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 22:27:20

Ooh if grif is new blood then i'm no longer the newbie! <settles back in Antiochian>

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 22:28:48

Eh no idea why my phone would choose that strange word rather than anticipation! < off to find a dictionary to get definition...>

SinkyMalinks Sun 02-Dec-12 22:45:00

Ooh. Antiochian. Fancy.

As to treating myself... Well... I'm not exactly frugal at the best of times. And I think, sadly, it maybe possible to have too many fancy dresses. Either that or too few invites, and that's much more depressing, so I'll stick with the too many dresses.

bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 22:48:34

Turns out its something to do with the orthodox church in America <smug>
Yes we lack invites too which suits Mr.df <Antisocial> but saddens me <lush>

Northey Sun 02-Dec-12 22:53:39

What is the dress, my slinky pal?

SinkyMalinks Sun 02-Dec-12 22:59:06
bluer Sun 02-Dec-12 23:02:40

Ooh the second one is just gorgeous grin

SinkyMalinks Sun 02-Dec-12 23:17:44

And this is the final one. But I just bet it'll be reduced come December 26th...

SinkyMalinks Sun 02-Dec-12 23:20:17

Maybe I could wear a fancy dress to my clinic appointment. Be sooo fabulously intimidating, they won't fob me off anymore...

Ghj is still at work. I'm bored and lonely. Hence the posting, and the dangerous internet browsing.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Mon 03-Dec-12 04:36:33

Do it SkinnyMalinks

I would buy a fab new dress if I were svelte like you and not a Fat Bastard like me.

I have finished my nights. So tired. Worst droid in a long long time. And HWCA's family came over yesterday and his poor niece vommed all over my living room. Thank fuck for wooden floors, but I can't decide whether I can actually still smell the sick or just think I can.

<menkuls for bugs>

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 06:54:40

Ooo, pretty dresses grin

Plus we appear to have an interloper - explain yourself Griff <attempts to look stern while brandishing a stick>

We had a sechs fail last night <sigh>. We managed it in Saturday, but I can't see that seeing me through till Friday as HWHNN can't come home mid week this week. It's just all too much bloody effort sometimes!

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 07:09:00

I love the Hobbs Antonia one! And I want the Karen Millen one. If it is a) long enough on me, b) heavily reduced.

I need to do more stuff that requires lovely dresses. A BESH ball, perhaps, where the food is all pâté and coffee and booze and instead of dancing we whirl around doing a Viennese Snurk.

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 07:11:12

Ooh, more posts on another page!

frank, sechsfails are crap at the best of times, but the utter pits when you live apart and know that you won't get another shot for a week.

Griffomais Mon 03-Dec-12 07:55:28

Clearly I am on the wrong page. Apologies.

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 08:15:20

Griff you might e in the right place, tell us more about you and we'll let you know wink

Norf, it's shite isn't it? I'm pretty sure ov is reasonably imminent as My skin is starting to break-out. Great! I've got a posh dinner to go to on Wednesday so will have to cake the make up on.

evilgiraffe Mon 03-Dec-12 09:00:06

Morning all! FutilityFriend thinks I ov'd two days ago, which means we sechsed on five out of the six surrounding days, which is more effort than we've put in for a long time. Fingers crossed the carpet-bombing technique works...

Astonishingly, this means droid is due on the 12th, which means it should miss both my birthday (Wednesday this week) AND Christmas! Hurrah! Also enough time to calm down and not be sad and hormonal at Christmas, unlike last year, when droid arrived on Christmas morning.

evilgiraffe Mon 03-Dec-12 09:01:02

Sorry, that was all rather self-centred. <hands round dehydrated rations in reparation>

SinkyMalinks Mon 03-Dec-12 09:11:30

Griff! You may be in exactly the right place. We're just nosy (and like to make sure pure not the type to get instantly pregnant. This sort of behaviour depresses us, as barren types.) People say we're cliquey. We're not but this is our little haven.

I like the Antonia dress. I'm gong to get it. I think I'm just lusting after the km one. Norf, don't be fooled by the pic. It's kind of calf length (intentionally according to the salesgirl). I like it, it shows off my shoes, but it won't be for everyone and I'm worried it would date.

SinkyMalinks Mon 03-Dec-12 09:18:23

Xp. Excellent carpet bombing effort draff. And excellent timing. In contrast I'm on nights leading up to Xmas, should ov,but prob won't on Xmas day, and have to try abs get off nights early to get to my clinic appointment and then go back on nights. I think there wil be tears...

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 16:13:10

Brilliant, Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant. We'll never hear the end of it now.

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 16:19:34

Oh, I feel bad now. Apparently she's been admitted to hospital with hyperemesis.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 03-Dec-12 16:22:52

We knew it was coming though, right? All royal couples in recent history have been updiffed with 18 months of getting wed. When they got married I found myself bitterly wishing for fertility ishoos for them for some reason...Bitter hag indeed. Mind you, they could have been trying to win a baybee since they got wed and that wouldn't be an easy win then. D'you reckon they'd ever admit to outsourcing?!

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 16:30:06

Oh of course we knew it was coming Faithy, but I have my "Bitter Barren" hat on wink

Of course it's lovely news, and HWHNN made me come over all teary when he replied to my text telling him the news with: "Good for them. We have our plan and it will soon be us."


HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 03-Dec-12 16:33:46

Bless HWHNN smile

bluer Mon 03-Dec-12 16:45:09

Aw that was lovely of him * frank*
Impressed with the carpet bombing
Graf I'd be unable to provide that much energy at the moment. Shit I've heard three people getting diffed today...the duchess but I also appear to work in the most fertile department in the county sad

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 17:04:11

That's total poop blue, how you holding up? I'm lucky, now that my sort-of pregnant colleague (sort of colleague, she's definitely diffed!) has left the building I am 1 of only 2 women of child-bearing age in the office. The other is single, older than me and already has an 8yo. Knowing my luck she'll get diffed before me! hmm

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 03-Dec-12 17:10:28

sad blue, that always sucks.

Have you seen this link? 15 hours in the Royal suite sechsing for Britain

SinkyMalinks Mon 03-Dec-12 17:26:27

Frankle, that was exactly my thought.. <hangs head in shame>

I was thinking last week how tough it would be of they were having problems though. Imagine all those "well-wishers" throwing fecking baby grows at you if you had issues. And not even able to puch them in the face without sparking an international media event.

I think I will be pleased for them. Eventually.


ApocaBugs Mon 03-Dec-12 19:26:19

Kate & Wills can get fucked. Fact.


bluer Mon 03-Dec-12 19:28:54

i'm fine...its to be expected...I work with nine ladies who are around thirty and we've mostly all gotten married etc in recent years. Thing that sucks are that two are now on no.two and the most recent double differ has a gorgeous one year old and is just back about two mins after mat leave <sulk>

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 19:38:00

Ah buggeration. I shall just ignore the news FOREVER.

evilgiraffe Mon 03-Dec-12 19:39:53

Bugsy has it right. Fuck right off, Wills and Kate.

(though I do agree with Sinks too, and am rather ashamed of myself)

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 19:41:14

Apparently it's less than twelve weeks. Hmmm.

<hates self>

alwyn Mon 03-Dec-12 19:56:22

They had to announce it due to the speculation of why she's in hospital. Feel quite sorry for her as she has hyperemesis.

Still can't work out whether I'm pleased for them or not though <also bitter>

Oh well, might go for a run after dinner.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 03-Dec-12 20:27:19

Oh I come back from mad parental visit with screaming rows about iui with my mother to hear this. Fuck off Wills and Kate <joins Bitter Bunch>

bluer Mon 03-Dec-12 20:29:42

Remember the wedding fuss...we're never going to hear the end of this sad

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 20:29:52

<strokes Rie's hair>

Are you ok lovely? Parental arguments sound wretched.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 03-Dec-12 20:44:02

Yes. You kind of wouldn't think it the Done Thing to yell abuse at a daughter who was about to undergo fertililty treatment about it, would you? Apparently though, it is.

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 21:00:42

Oh God aries, what was she thinking?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 03-Dec-12 21:06:44

She has lots on her mind of course. However it all seems to centre on me shutting her out I.e not informing her every time I so much as piss on a stick. Because after all, it is all about her and her insecurities rather than me and my well being. Mad cow.

In other news, I have now seen Skyfall.

JethroTull Mon 03-Dec-12 21:17:49

<clutches Rie to buzwams> Sounds hideous. Please try & ignore whatever she's said.

Fucking Wills & Kate. I knew you lot would understand.

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 21:46:22

Oh Rie that sucks. Rise above it/deep breaths or just punch a wall.

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 21:59:09

Here rierie, come and snuggle down in this comforting bed I've constructed out of discarded camouflage material. We will look after you.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 03-Dec-12 22:02:32

<bursts into grateful, over-tired tears>

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 22:08:13

Shhhh now, or your military face painty stuff will run.

What happened?

bluer Mon 03-Dec-12 22:09:01

Oh rie its sucks when, even as an adult, parents just don't get it.

SinkyMalinks Mon 03-Dec-12 22:12:09

Oh Rie. Parents can be truly terrible.

Do you think we'd have all been sacked by now if we'd been a princess? Can't imagine queenie tolerating a barren in the midst.

<channels Diana's wistful stare>. <goes a bit cross eyed>

SinkyMalinks Mon 03-Dec-12 22:15:28

Oh, and when do we think the due date will be?

I'm planning on being out the country. Preferably somewhere without tv/Internet but copious free flowing gin

Northey Mon 03-Dec-12 22:17:03

Fucking hell, it's every other thread in here. Why doesn't everyone just fuck off?

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 03-Dec-12 22:21:16

<channels Diana's wistful stare> just made me chuckle smile

SinkyMalinks Mon 03-Dec-12 22:22:35

Fuck em. I bought the Antonia dress and the black one from Karen millen. And a pair of boots for 150 squid. How's that for distraction my lovely BESHes?

I am now going to bed.

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 22:22:45

She's very early, only about 8 weeks. According to the Beeb, they only told HMQ this morning when they decided to take Catherine to hospital. <counts on fingers> I make it round early-July-ish.

I do like her, and of course we don't know if they've had ishoos of their own, but I'm dreading the next few days/weeks of constant news coverage. God help anyone if they make a comment about offspring aimed at me in the next few days angry

<realises angry face is not very menacing when it is wearing a Santa hat>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Mon 03-Dec-12 22:23:59

I feel a bit sorry for Kate. 8 weeks is far to early to have to let the world know. Say the worst happens? sad

Frankelstein Mon 03-Dec-12 22:24:22

Well done Sinks grin. I've bought HWHNN's Crimbo pressies today. Gulp @ my credit card bill.

ZombieTipple Mon 03-Dec-12 22:39:12

<kicks open bunker door Lara croft stylee> <nearly drops bottles of gin on floor>

It's too rough out there alone, I need the BESH bunker to keep me sane blush. I need to hide from the inevitable baby fever that will now sweep this bloody country. Lovely for the happy couple but it really does bring out some odd new levels of Facebook twatery. Why would you post a picture of them and publicly congratulate a couple you don't even know? Bizarre, really is.

How is everyone?

rie your mum sounds a nightmare, why on earth was she so shouty? Very cruel sad I would stroke your buzzwams but they've probably been stroked to death by now.

Good work on the shopping sinks! Impressed smile I love a posh dress, I never go anywhere to wear one though sad

I think I've reached a point where I've been too honest with people. I thought now we were officially on the infertility bandwagon it would help me if I fessed up about treatment but unfortunately the constraint stream of (well meaning) questions is becoming tiring. It's one friend in particular, she has a heart of gold but she just does not know when to stop. sad hard work.

Northey Tue 04-Dec-12 05:55:35

I guess I don't really want k and w to fuck off. Just all the people bleating on endlessly about them. And aries is right. I bet she must hate having had to announce it this early, when so much might still go wrong.

DolomitesDonkey Tue 04-Dec-12 06:51:50

aries "princess Sophie" was blue lighted in for an ectopic. Sadly the worst does happen even if you are worth squizillions.

SinkyMalinks Tue 04-Dec-12 06:58:42

Fucking hell. Telegraph - "is it twins or triplets?"

Fuck off journalists, then fuck off some more.

I don't hate k+w. I fucking hate the media.

<decided>. And makes me feel less rat fink about it.

(any media type BESH? grin )

Northey Tue 04-Dec-12 07:06:00

Any BESH writing stories about k+w is being drummed right out of the bunker <menacing>

SinkyMalinks Tue 04-Dec-12 07:16:18


We need a new topic of conversation... How's everyone's wombs doing?

ZombieTipple Tue 04-Dec-12 07:25:36

Good idea sinks.....

My womble seems well. Think I'm around 9/10dpo but I'm not 100%. I can ring the Drs this morning and find out if I ovulated so shall maybe leave it til Monday to POAS.

Has everyone finish their crumbs shopping?

Northey Tue 04-Dec-12 07:26:07

Barren. Obviously. Did I tell you I sechsed unprotectedly for the first time in 3 months last week? CD5, so not likely to do much, but, you know, small steps.

SinkyMalinks Tue 04-Dec-12 07:50:51

Yay on unprotected sechsing and being 9/10dpo (tipps- you're scaring junior doctors? Why?/how??)

Cd 8 here so also little going on, womble wise, but also achieved the sechs. Well done us.

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 08:06:51

Well done on the unprotected sechs Norf. God knows what my womble is up to, CD 26 and still haven't ov'd. I'm getting spottier by the day though, so it can't be far off, just need it to hold out till Friday so I can jump HWHNN wink

SinkyMalinks Tue 04-Dec-12 08:45:10

(13 pages. 13 fucking pages. This shite is why I don't read the daily mail)

As you were.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 04-Dec-12 08:57:14

Don't forget according to my dates I either got diffed on CD6 or 10! Congrats on the unprotected sechsing norf. Back on the horse so to speak.

I iz ill sad been feeling ruff for about a week. Saw GP who took some bloods but I've now started with a stomach bug (most likely picked up from work) so off sick and curled up in front of tv.

In other totally random news, MSB put the (fake) Christmas tree up. If I am well enough I plan to decorate it. However, I just spent 15 minutes undoing his attempt to put branches upside down. hmm

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 04-Dec-12 09:04:28

Oh and it's the year anniversary of the fire. I did not sleep well last night but we survived.

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 09:27:15

Oh .*Faithy*, a whole year already?! Where did that time go?

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 09:32:19

bold fail blush

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 04-Dec-12 09:36:02

I know! I feel like its kind of cathartic in a way to get past that year mark. Things have changed so much in that year!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 04-Dec-12 10:47:29

So much has changed in a year, Faif. Good stuff xxxxx

We had The Sechs this morning. There's so much in my head it was a bit of a challenge but I managed <awards self Good Sechsing sticker>

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 04-Dec-12 10:53:00

Good work rierie. Have a gold star <sticks to lapel>

I have a link to my Flickr account for the newer BESH that show the photos of the fire and repairs we had done should you be interested.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 04-Dec-12 17:45:10

<sidles in quietly, not I hasten to add, that I am writing K&W's stories>

I shall have a nosy faif!

On womble news, my lining is beautiful and thin (as it should be on day 3) and I have just done the first stab... I feel the bloody menopur headache coming already. It will be a very quiet week of stabbing and not too much socialising oh wait, I have a 3 and a 5 yr old staying this weekend, at least I can go to bed at 8pm with two excuses

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 04-Dec-12 17:46:51

When do you start stabbing rie? And shall I poke your mother with my dirty mixing -read bloody huge-- needle?

bluer Tue 04-Dec-12 18:18:34

Oh Faith what photos [shocked]

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Tue 04-Dec-12 18:24:10

I just love Sam the builder. And horror at the damage. How did the fire start again? (I was lurking then, not writing).

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 04-Dec-12 18:36:44

Food processor caught fire in the kitchen. It caught in the corner by the microwave. I'd used it to make a smoothie Thursday night, it caught fire Saturday night. Photos are bad but nothing can describe the smell which was by far the worst thing. All ship shape and shiny now though! grin

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 04-Dec-12 18:42:38

Oh faif sad I'm not going to look at the photos because I have fire terror. Glad this time this year is so much better than this time last year.

My womble is still droid-ing,.painfully. We are still on a sechs ban so I am skipping this cycle, and giving myself the gift of not menkulling for Christmas.

I have a new cousin as of today. More baybee gifts to buy. Yay hmm

ApocaBugs Tue 04-Dec-12 18:57:17

Yo bitches <channels a gangster>

I think my droid has arrived. On sodding CD 27/28. I ov'd 12 ish days ago. This is not good.

Hossie appt for drucks tomorrow.

bluer Tue 04-Dec-12 19:33:10

Well i'm six dpo and as usual I feel...nothing. No sore boobs, no 'I just knew right away ' as per work ooh I might be...nothing.
Got bloods app on's hoping that its looking more like ovulation but i'm just not feeling it!

ApocaBugs Tue 04-Dec-12 20:49:48

Why can't we be instadiffers? <stamps foot>

Fuck you Princess fucking Kate. Fuck you media and every other nob talking about it.

Lets hope the blood tests show something blue and the drucks work for me.

I have made mince pies (in RL, not in MN pretend). They look ok, they may taste like shite though.

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 20:53:13

I currently look like Jim Carrey in The Mask hmm I'm wearing a very bright green face mask (Avocado, Green Tea and Aloe Vera - very middle class!) and trying to calm my skin a little in advance of this posh dinner I've got to go to tomorrow night. It's my boss' retirement dinner so I could do without the spots to be honest!

Sorry for droid Bugsy, if indeed that is what has arrived.

In an effort to cheer us all up, I present the new Star Trek poster complete with Mr Cumberbatch in a gloriously swishy coat grin

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 04-Dec-12 20:54:08

Steady on Bugsy. Have some of this soothing mulled wine. There.

Kate probably isn't an instadiffer <fair>. I think they have been trying since they got hitched and there were all sorts of horrid press and internet rumours about her being infertile/too skinny/unhealthy. I wouldn't wish vomiting incessantly on anyone.

Let's focus our "fuck yous" on, say, Fearne fucking Cotton <growls>

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 04-Dec-12 20:54:41

Oh Frank, that could be anyone!

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 20:59:00

<stares sternly at *Rie>

Open your eyes luv, course it's him wink

Agreed on focussing rants at Fearne farking Cotton. And Imogen "tilted uterus" Thomas. And Peaches Geldoff and Jessica Simoson with their "oops I'm pregnant again" shite angry

ApocaBugs Tue 04-Dec-12 21:02:20

Peaches fecking Geldoff is pregnant AGAIN?

Agree with the Imogen Thomas hatred. God she is vile, utterly vile.

I will try to curb my bitterness, but you know, given the date and my appt tomorrow i think i'm allowed to be extra bitter just for this week. I promise i'll be nicer next week.

My mince pies are a disaster. The BBC Good Food website lies. The pastry is just falling to pieces. <sob>

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 04-Dec-12 21:11:45

bugs be as bitter as you like, and HWCA will eat your mince pies if you want rid smile

Was there a mention of a London BESH meet-up?

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 21:12:40

Yup Peaches is upduffed *again (sorry about DM link). Her son is 6 months old.

Apparently Lily Allen is also preggo with her second whilst her first is under a year old.

Jessica Simpson confirmed she was pregnant again a few weeks ago. Her daughter is 7 months old.

I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry?

SinkyMalinks Tue 04-Dec-12 21:16:16

Fearne fucking cotton.


Now that's a face i could never get tired of slapping.

Feck the mince pies bugs. Overhyped Xmas twatery anyway.

<helpful, as ever>

ApocaBugs Tue 04-Dec-12 21:17:27

Oh I already know about Lily Allen. Considering what she's been through (1 x Mc before 12 weeks, one about 5 months) I don't feel at all bitter towards her.

I don't really mind Fearne BUT wish they'd STFU about it on Sleb Juice.

SinkyMalinks Tue 04-Dec-12 21:19:44

I fucking hate fearne fucking cotton. I don't even know why. The very mention of her and her nauseating pregnancy makes me erupt with fury.

Kittens. I am going to go and watch the kittens. Breeeeeaaath.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 04-Dec-12 21:25:05

Lily Allen had an awful time of it so she is Allowed. The other two though - pfft.

ApocaBugs Tue 04-Dec-12 21:29:03

I am going to ask the BESH a question... but as it will 'out' me, im going to do it in t'other place...

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 21:31:39

Fair point about Lily Allen, I concede that one.

In good news, I have washed the face mask off and my skin has not been stained green grin

SinkyMalinks Tue 04-Dec-12 21:47:18

Frankle ===> is this you? envy

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 21:57:55

Not anymore Sinks grin

I have to admit there was a moment of worry when I noticed that the hand I applied the mask with was a fetching shade of green even after washing it several times. I had visions of having to go to this dinner looking like I had camouflage make-up on hmm

ZombieTipple Tue 04-Dec-12 22:02:28

Blimey you lot have been chatty today smile

<Chuckles at Frankle's delicate greeny face> I hate facepacks, I always feel pretty suffocated in them. I am weird though smile

WTF is it with all these bloody instadiffers. I really am fed up of being surrounded by pregnant people. I had a lunch hr of 'oh there is nothing like giving birth, you know it's going to hurt but it is so magical in it's own way' type crap <boak> My pregnant friend did gently change the subject a bit a few times when I think she could see me starting to struggle. The other two didn't know. Really sucks a big one. She's still technically in the closet at the moment so I've not had any 'you next' comments. I think I will just be vile to anyone who says that. I seem to be getting a rep as a miserable cow at present anyway.

10 dpo today and getting the odd boob pain. Felt a bit sick today but that may be the sheer volume of food I consumed today <god damn PMT> I did however receive the joyness news today that I ovulated so that is something. Although I apparently ovulated anyway with or without drugs, so I'm really not sure why I'm on clomid. I think to buy the hospital some time before an IVF referral?

ZombieTipple Tue 04-Dec-12 22:14:19

Bluer - 'uncovered penis' grin grin grin brilliant grin

alwyn Tue 04-Dec-12 22:18:07

Oh and Beyonce's in on the second child act as well, with her fucking video of her slightly rounded belly.

And I feel slighted as no-one wanted to be my friend on t'other place <needy>

My work colleagues think I should write a book about my experiences over the last year with school. Ha.

evilgiraffe Tue 04-Dec-12 22:20:47

Wooooo, Star Trek poster! I am SO excited, the 2009 film was utterly brilliant and I have my fingers crossed that this one will be too, and that Bones gets a bit more air time.

In other news, I'm thirty tomorrow shock where did the time go?!

bluer Tue 04-Dec-12 22:29:16

Happy birthday tomorrow draf
zombie I just couldn't help myself...the poor cow. I wonder whether we could get the number for either mr. five times a night or Mr.super-One min

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 04-Dec-12 22:40:12

Soz, Bugger. You can be bitter x

I think, and have done for some time now,that the Countess of Wessex should be royal patron of the BESH. She's perfect. Ectopic in late 30s, IVF win, then another baby at 43. Hurrah for Sophie.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Tue 04-Dec-12 22:42:00

Hurrah for Sophie - but surely she loses points for doing sechs with Edward?

Their wedding was luffly.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 04-Dec-12 22:48:50

<shudder> Maybe he has a Nice Personality?

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 22:52:00

Happy birthday for tomorrow Evil - you is still a whippersnapper wink

Alwyn, if you PM me I'll tell you my name so you can track me down in t'other place. Are you "fwiends" with any BESH?

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 22:56:52

Oh and yes to Sophie being Patron Saint if the BESH.

DH has an aunt who is adamant that Sophie and Edward's marriage is a sham and that they're both acksherly <mouths words in a Les Dawson fashion> gay <clutches pearls>
She is utterly bonkers though!

Speaking of Patron Saints, one of the guests at this dinner for my boss tomorrow is the mum of MN's very own Patron Saint's - Claire Balding. She's on my table grin

Frankelstein Tue 04-Dec-12 22:58:56

Oh god! I committed a BESH cardinal sin and referred to HWHNN as "DH" blush & shock

<self flagellates>

evilgiraffe Tue 04-Dec-12 23:10:31

Oh, how exciting, Frank! You can talk Frankel with her! I once saw a photo in Horse and Hound of her as a young kiddy sitting on Mill Reef - how cool is that? He had his leg in plaster, so she was the last person ever to ride him grin

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 05-Dec-12 06:14:39

Oooh its snowing! smile

(time for everything in the greater London area to grind to a halt...)

Northey Wed 05-Dec-12 06:19:06


Frankelstein Wed 05-Dec-12 06:19:27

Ah, I wasn't clear enough - it's Claire's mum I'm sitting with! I know her pretty well as she's on my company's Board! She is luffly and terribly embarrassed about Claire's book!

Not sure if it has snowed here, I'm still in bed trying to motivate myself to get up and do the Shred!

Northey Wed 05-Dec-12 06:21:25

tips, you pest. I just leapt out of bed to go and look, and it isn't snowing here yet.

Northey Wed 05-Dec-12 06:22:16

winkle, I meant.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Wed 05-Dec-12 06:30:57

No snow yet...

I had loads of witty things to say but they seem to have disappeared when I left my bed which means either I dreamt them or they were not witty on further inspection.

Happy birthday draff! It is good news though, you're no longer dodging the entry requirements for the BESH.

And good luck stocking up on drucks rie. I need to pop back to hossie today to get mine, as I had my first scan on the busiest day at work in ages, so I just legged it out with the dildo-cam falling fown... I self-stabbed with the leftovers from last time.

Right let's commute before it gets awkward, snow-wise!

Northey Wed 05-Dec-12 06:42:33

Oh yes, happy birthday, evilcrone! And good luck to all with drug stabbing. And have fun with MamaBalding, frank.

SinkyMalinks Wed 05-Dec-12 06:58:24

al, I'll be your t'other place fwend if you wish. I'm nae chat mind.

Also, I thought beyonce was just showing pics of her previous pregnancy as part of some self promoting movie that's coming out about her "life experiance". Could be wrong. Didn't read too closely.

Frankle - CB's mum is still cool! CB is the total idol of a couple I'm friends with. They got to meet her and the photos are hilarious (if you think seeing a slightly panicked look of CB's face as they launch at her)

No snow here sad

Happy b day draff. Have a biscuit shaped cake

evilgiraffe Wed 05-Dec-12 07:08:50

<day one of official BESH status>

Thank you! HOTB is currently downstairs making paper-and-sellotape noises... grin

Frankelstein Wed 05-Dec-12 07:12:33

Happy birfday Evil, you are now One of Us <chants "one of us. one of us> a la Howard Wolowitz> grin hope you get some luffly pressies.

There is a sprinkling of snow here, but looks like its melting already.

Shred done so I feel very virtuous if a little sweaty hmm

Northey Wed 05-Dec-12 07:14:44

<impressed> Is this for Christmas slenderness, frank?

Frankelstein Wed 05-Dec-12 07:18:07

General slenderness Norf. I've put on a stone and a half on since I met HWHNN almost 11 years ago and I just feel a bit untoned. I'm not really bothered by weight, more inches and would like to lose a few off my waist and arse. At the weekend I put on a pair of trousers I wore on honeymoon 4 years ago and could barely do them up blush - cue lots of squats!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 05-Dec-12 07:22:55

<impressed> I would have stayed in bed

Happy birthday draf!

Northey Wed 05-Dec-12 07:23:18

Ah yes, I know that one. I put on a stone a year for five years after meeting AMNH. Luckily I'm tall, but still... Anyway, it's mostly off now. I keep the pair of trousers I was wearing when we met, not out of sentimentality but for ruthless monitoring of whether I can get into them.

bluer Wed 05-Dec-12 07:27:12

Aw we had snow on Monday so none today!
Just being subjected to BBC news...apparently there is to be a baby boom next's hoping grin
Starting to feel sorry for Kate...they're banging on about twins again. Poor soul has no privacy.

Frankelstein Wed 05-Dec-12 08:05:16

Have you seen the morons that are already selling "Royal Baby 2013" mugs? What if she, god forbid, has a miscarriage? How will these idiots feel then? If I was her I'd have wanted to hide the pregnancy for as long as possible - three pairs of Spanx under all outfits! Unfortunately for them they've been forced to release the news so early.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 05-Dec-12 08:48:32

Can you imagine Kate posting on aibu?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 05-Dec-12 09:12:18

Morning BESHlas!

Happy burfday draf! Have a luffly day grin

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 05-Dec-12 09:17:45

Goodness, Frank, where did you get the royal baby mug info from? <innocent>

If I were Kate I'd be on AIBU like a bloody flash.

Happy birthday Draffers!<