TTC 10+ months, Part 11(1000 Posts)
A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.
Over from the other thread, yes love 'Girls' watched the whole of the season as a gift to myself at the start of downregging. Critter likes it too as I remember.
Thanks buzzy for the lovely new thread. Agree, 'Girls' is great. Cringeworthy sex scenes but very clever. Made me actually pretty glad I'm not 24 any more!
I'm watching Girls too and really enjoying it, tho cringing a fair bit too! I feel kinda embarrassed watching it with Dave. Need to watch it with other girls I think... The main character's boyf is such a dick!
Goodness, thread 11. But I like football and mens legs. So maybe it's good?!! Princess has set tradition of thread starter updiffedness so here's looking at you buzzy!
gin good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.
doll hold in there, there is egg growing time still to go. Sometimes my left ovary hides and since the op, two scans haven't been able to find it again where do the tricky buggers go? Sorry you feel poo. I imagine it like swallowing an entire pack of the pill and sucking on a pile of morning after pills for dessert. With pmt layered on. And a hangover? Close? Loves.
critter your post is on ye olde thread. But huge random loves anyway!
Um, better look at old thread again actually.
rabbit actually I don't feel that bad (mostly). My right one has been hiding before, if there were big follies on that side they would be seen though, they can only really hide when sleepy. Lazy fucker. Dancing about producing multiple eggs for free one minute, dozing though expensive drugs the next. It's cool though. If it's 3, it's 3. Not the end of the world.
Good luck again for EC gin
Totally agree about the condoms joyce. I will be checking out girls. That sounds wrong!
euro thanks for saying that. So will you! I maybe need it tattooed to my hand.
I had acu today. She very gently said I need a little layer of fat for the winter - I was freezing today. I really am tying to put weight on but it isn't happening. I'm not a brilliant eater and I think I'm worrying off calories too. Am starting to wonder if this is going to actually be a problem for getting the green light for ivf. I do love eating tasty teas but get full up way faster than Hare. It also feels very counter instinctive to eat to put weight on.. Is the ivf limit really enforced does anyone know? She also looked at apts with me for next month 'after my period' so I'm guessing I'm not pregnant what with her super sense!
Glad things not that rough doll! Only one egg of goldeness needed. The designer handbag of eggs.
rabbit I'm sure weight bracket being enforced depends on your post code like everything else. What is it BMI 18.5? Putting on weight is tough, eating 5 or 6 times a day is key, I think, even if a 'meal' is just a handful of nuts or something. Can you manage to get some high calorie snacks sorted for that winter layer?
Thanks for the new thread buzzy!
Rabbit it's tough if you don't have much of an appetite. I never did when I was younger and was always hovering around the low end of healthy BMI. I seem to be over that now though!
joy I watched an episode of Girls on the US trip I did recently. I thought it was pretty good, although I did catch the episode where one of the girls finds out that she has HPV - so it wasn't really taking my mind off my smear situation!
Good luck for EC Gin and for ovary hunting doll.
Thanks buzzy !
good luck tomorrow gin
doll hope your ovary stops being shy for the next scan, am sure it will all look better with a bit more stimming.
AF still not here. Very irritating. I tossed a coin to decide whether to test this morning or not - have experience with testing and AF starting almost immediately, so trying to hold out!
Haven't seen girls no TV here - we watch DVD's - mainly series - just started spooks (about 8 yrs behind the trend
Gin good luck for tomorrow, hope it all goes well, will be thinking of you.
Waves all, will do a proper post tomorrow.
Just marking my place. Thanks for the new thread buzzy. Good luck today gin.
I've finished my noristhisterone, am waiting for ERTD, and then have my prostap on Friday. Start my own jabbing on Sunday. Haven't had time to dwell on it. There are some family and wedding stresses going on that I could do without but I'm sure it will be fine in the end .
General waves to everyone.
mellow I admire your calmness! Keeping everything crossed for you.
nelly your wedding will be lovely and all the niggles in arrangements will be forgotten. Exciting times!
Doll I had a very similar result, of 3 follies showing the first time I got scanned. It's a weird situation, a kind of personal exam result, but really it only takes 1 so come on the Beirut 3, let's hope they're getting plump and juicy! (I ended up with 9 btw, it can vary). You sound quite calm and level headed about it all. Your lifestyle sounds sooo interesting. I think there could be a film about your life! Who would play you, the heroine?! Little Doll would have to play himself I think?!
Joy thanks so much for the info about the dr you went to see. I too get that fishy smell, not as strong as I once had it but it's still there this month and not just after sex, so I've made an appointment with the same guy and taking DH with me. I must admit I don't feel too much enthusiasm for seeing yet another doctor for some (expensive) yet more inconclusive test results, but it's onwards and onwards isn't it and you never know this could be the key for me so thanks for the encouragement. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm going to have to post in stages today as I need to go out now.
Ohhhh new thread, thanks buzzy. Right girls, the number 11 really is a good & lucky number so we'll all going to get diffed this thread right
gin good luck for today, I am thinking of you. I so hope that all goes ahead.
rabbit Reading about your weight concerns about IVF I have a mad suggestion. Didn't your consultant table the idea of a few goes of Clomid for you? If you were to give that a whirl for a couple of cycles before IVF as well, as the possible benefits of super ovulation you would almost definitely put on some weight too without having to worry about shovelling in more food which is a horrible thought if you are an efficient eater & don't do face stuffing.
BTW I have to say that what your accu lady said last cycle is spooky. How the hell can they know from your pulse and sticking a few needles in. I am very impressed actually.
nelly there is nothing like a wedding to turn family into nutjobs I'm still not speaking to my MIL! Hope that things get resolved soon. I am willing the arrival of the witch.
mellow I am secretly hoping for you.
I haven't heard of the Girls series [missing out smiley]
Love and waves to doll, cosmos, lemons, joycep and everyone
My new phase of optimism and being on an even keel has taken a bit of a bashing yesterday. We were given our notice to quit the house (the landlord can't afford the repairs) and worst of all by a long chalk, the vet called to say that they had found abnormal cells in a sample they took of a lump in Big Dog's leg. I feel all a bit heart racy and stressed to say the least
Also selfishly as panicking about maybe having to move much further afield and losing the IVF.
Good, the above made no sense. Sorry. I really ought to preview.
Still no sense......I'm off and will try to post something sensible tomorrow
Pout, I'm liking your cheering us all for this thread, good to start with some positivity. Crikey that all sounds a bit stressful for you, hope you find somewhere great to live. Why is it everything happens at the same time? Its like someone said somewhere on one of these threads whilst we're going this ttc nightmare we really should be exempt from other crap in our lives.
Rabbit, big waves back. I meant to say that I once did the forgetting a tampon thing. Actually what happened was i removed a tampon, only to realise that there was a second one in there! oops. Not sure how i managed that. and yes the smell was shocking. I'm so glad you've had some nicer days recently. This is such a rollercoaster isn't it! My acu lady also said similar things the month I did the FET and got a low hcg reading - tis quite spooky, but also reassuring that you know you're own body and also that surely you're getting closer.
I have a new tactic by the way for the 2 ww mentalling. At each twinge and flutter for the last couple of months I've been asking myself 'is this significantly different from what i've felt before. Not in a negative way, just a factual way. It seems to have worked anyway, tis Day 1 for me here and no expectations and no disappointment.
s43ll hope you find us in the new thread, gosh thats a big shock and a lot to take in. Did they manage to remove any of it during the lap? What else did they say?
Thanks for setting up our new home buzz. I say this at the start of every thread but I think this will be a lucky one for us all!
I'm thinking of you today gin.
Pout, it's so lovely to have you back with us. I'm impressed with your crafty skills, I am rubbish at anything like that. What sort of things are you making? If I ever do get a baby, I'll have to buy everything, no hand made booties or cot bumpers for my babe. Mil is into knitting, and has knitted loads of things for her yet to be conceived grandchild. The problem is I don't like any of the stuff she makes, she seems to like pastel colours and itchy wool. I'm sorry to hear about possible move and big dog. It's awful when pets are sick, a big worry. Re. The house move. Will you not be able to find somewhere in the same pct area?
Joy, I get the fishy smell. Not all the time, just once in a while. I'd never considered that it might indicate something is wrong.
Rabbit, I find it hard to put weight on too. My BMi is now in the healthy range and I've got it there by making sure I eat 3 meals a day And snacking in between. Im probably not followi g the healthiest diet, lots of cake and chocolate. I find it so annoying when people think its easy to put on weight, if your metabolism is fast then it's so hard. My clinic hasn't mentioned weight directly but they did weigh both me an mrden, I assume all was ok or they would have said but who knows.
Well I'm back home after EC, hurrah! They got 11 eggs (funny with it being Fred 11), but think that not all will be mature. I only had a little bit of bleeding this time - just had to go back into surgery so they could reapply pressure but it wasn't serious this time and no nasty
fanjo tea towels vaginal packs. I now just have some pink spotting. Did other ivfers have this??
Think they gave me a tonne of sedation drugs this time - it took me ages to come round and I couldn't remember a thing, although apparently we spoke to the dr. I also appear to have bitten my lip!
I have to go back on thurs morning to be checked out for ohss. The embryologist seemed to think that the clinic is ultra cautious but we shall see.
When I'm more with it, I'll post properly! The anti anxiety iv drugs they gave me were ace.. I'd quite like to be on them for the next few weeks!
Thanks again for all your support and well wishes. It helps immensely xx
Yay gin attagirl, well done you! And 11 eggs is fantastic, way to go! Hope you're snuggled up with a hot water bottle and being generally pampered by MrGin. Hurrah for happy drugs.
pout how stressful about the house. I'm so sorry.
mrsd eek at itchy wool booties.
rabbit sorry about the fat layer requirement. I know it's hard to eat when you aren't hungry.
mello you are amazing for holding out on the testing. Fingers crossed for a happy surprise.
nelly sorry about the family wedding stress. Weddings do bring out the strangest behaviour in people.
cosmos and doll I did at the Beirut 3!
Waves to everybody else - it's sunny, crisp, chilly and gorgeous here but I am traumatised after finding a MASSIVE dead cockroach in my closet this morning. It was at least three inches long. I'm ashamed to say I left it there as was late for work and couldn't quite cope with hoovering it up at 8am, but will deal with it when I get home - unless - eek - something even larger has carried it away for breakfast. We just turned the heating on two days ago and I think it came up through the heating vent (American houses have them instead of radiators) attracted by the warmth. The horror.
Just to say yay gin amazing news, great job. And artemis your scan was today? What's the situation? critter me too at the Beirut 3. Cosmos you have some 1970s hostage vibe going there. Btw, many thanks to all for your observations and support on the minimal effort over here one extra yay for gin .
Yay Gin. I'm glad that it went well this time. 11 eggs is great!
pout sorry about the house move and Big Dog.
rabbit have you discovered reese's peanut butter cups? They are hugely addictive and immensely calorific. They could be the answer to your problems (assuming you like peanut butter of course).
<shudders> at the cockroach story.
Critter I see at least a dozen of the buggers a day in my flat, drives me mad. Impossible to get rid of in this building.
Yay Gin well done its all over you've done the hard work now. Hope you can just chill out tomorrow. Let us know what happens next.
Euro I was sooo pleased to read about your latest smear result. That's incredible, good for you for sticking to your guns, and how amazing is the human body it can heal itself like that. You must feel so relieved, and it certainly puts other things into perspective.
Buzzy thanks for info on coaching. How does it differ from counselling? I think I want to try something else in this area but don't really know where to find the right person.
Critter happy election day! I've been chatting today to my Chinese herbal lady in the states. I love the states I am well jell of you being out there.
Art lovely hows the stimming going? Great news you finally got started. When's your next scan?
critter I see your cockroach and raise you an army of ants on the ceiling (I am quite fond of them, they haven't discovered the kitchen yet), at least 2 millipedes a day (all very lost looking - if we don't return them to the foliage, then they end up dead, curled in a ball in the corner) and a scorpion in the postbox..... I have heard that you don't get ants and cockroaches, but I think that is because I choose not to see the cockroaches. We keep all open foods in sealed tupperware boxes
Gin well done you, great collection, fingers crossed for lovely blastocyst development - and love the anti-anxiety meds..
nelly lots going on -hang in there!
no AF still!
Critter - Cockroadch you say. O my word!
Rabbit - I can second Euro's recommendation to eat reese's peanut butter cups - well yum! The acu lady being able to tell about the pregnancy last cycle is amazing. But I do believe this and it is possible to become very very attuned to bodies. This is how women use to be long before the creation of drugs, pee sticks and modern things. If you think about how in tune many of us are with ovulation, the sense AF is coming, the way we can tell how proegesterone is affecting us, how we may feel implantation etc I am not suprised there are highly trained people out there who can see these things in others. But it is all still amazing and I have so much confidence that things will come right for you.
Gin - 11 eggs. Wow, you superstar. In won't matter that some aren't mature. Yes I think a bit of bleeding or spotting and a little tenderness is to be expected. Lets hope they are being over cautious with the OHSS. The anxiety drugs are brill aren't they. I would buy them on the black market if I could. Take good care and rest. Good luck for the next step.
Cosmos - that is a good 2ww tactic! Getting emotional and transfixed on every little niggle isn't fun. And you never know about the infection thing - could be the answer. Fingers crossed and well done for taking the initiative.
Joy - thanks so much for the pm. I guess you have a month off ttc if the antibiotics aren't compatable? I hope you have lovely, relaxing, 'no cares in the world' month.
Pout - oh dear. House moves and dog leg lumps are not nice, I'm sorry. I agree it would be wise to move within your PCT assuming they offer you good IVF funding. Hope things become easier very soon. It is really tough to deal with long term ttc and other crapola on top. Cosmos is right we should be exempt from other stresses.
Nelly - sorry things are stressy for you too. But not long now and then on to this cycle. I found prostap just fine. Is it just one injection for downreging? Thats what I had and then started stimming about 10 days after I think.
Mellow - You have so much will power, I admire you. I have everything crossed.
Hello to Doll, Buzz, Euro, Den
Art - thinking about you. Hope all is well.
I had a dream about you lot last night. You were all over at my place - except my place wasn't my actual house, it was a city apartment. . We had tea and then I drove some of you to the train station, that was it.
<diverts spirit of 70s Beirut news item into comedy 70s policeman sketch>
Hope everyone is well. I've been reading but not posting, busy with work stuff
how unreasonable and excessive sleeping. I'm shattered. I don't know if it has to do with hard drugs or just the lack of sunlight and general tiredness of life, as Mr A is knackered as well. We were in bed by 9pm last night, but not in a good way
Massive hug to Gin, glad EC went well and fingers crossed you don't end up with OHSS. But as others have said, at least Create are keeping a close eye on you and if you need to defer to FET at a later date it might actually increase your chances of a successful outcome. Hope you recover quickly. I like the sound of those anti anxiety drugs, how do I get them to give me some?!
Rabbit good to see you sounding perky. Family stuff and loveliness sounds like just what you needed. Is there a dietitian or nutritionist you can see at the hospital to advise you on weight gain? It's not easy if your appetite is low and stress is a real appetite killer in my experience. They'll be able to suggest high calorie but healthy foods to eat more of - I'm thinking things like avocados and nuts, but of course Reese's peanut butter cups would do the job as well
Mellow I'm hoping your AF doesn't turn up! It would be a great start to lucky thread 11. Fingers crossed but I understand the need to wait before testing again.
Nelly I'm sure the wedding will go beautifully and all the planning stress will be forgotten! Hats off to you again for dealing with wedding planning together with IVF, I'm in awe.
Sarlat has your cycle settled down? I agree we are probably more observant
paranoid than most people at spotting every little twinge. I like Cosmos' theory as well.
S43 I'm sorry you got bad news following your lap. Are they going to treat your endo as well as offering IVF? I know it might not make a difference fertility wise but it might do to your quality of life - you shouldn't have to live with that kind of pain every month. Hope you're managing to get your head around it all. Will you have a long wait for IVF?
Critter eek at the insect life. I lived in Australia for a while and never got used to all the horrible creatures lining up to eat my food, or in fact me. Hope you are surviving election fever. I seem to have missed most of the coverage this time, don't know if there's been less than usual or I am just too obsessed with other things to take notice.
Yay for the return of Pout! Glad you are feeling better about everything and especially that Mr Pout is being more supportive. Sometimes they just take a while to 'get it'. sorry to hear about big dog though... it's really worrying, I hope it's something they can treat. Our little cat is quite old now and sometimes frightens me by the amount she sleeps, I have to stop by her basket just to make sure she's still breathing.
Joy and Cosmos I'm impressed with your foray into bacteriology and I think you are onto something. I know the fishy smell too, though it is intermittent, and in the past have trotted off to the GP in fear and shame only to be swabbed and told there was nothing wrong . I think the pH question is significant. Thanks to this thread i've discovered my regular is-it-or-isn't-it "thrush" experience is probably down to a pH imbalance and given that CM is supposed to be so important to conception it makes sense to me that infertility could be related to hidden infections or imbalances. Please do keep reporting back... it's really interesting and may hold answers for some of us.
I'm okay, finally started stimming on Friday and the worst of the head fog has thankfully cleared. I can't feel anything happening - I thought I'd get ovarian pain like i did with clomid - but they said not everyone does. Akuaba you asked about drugs. I'm on 225ml of Gonal F with half that amount of Buserelin (my downregging drug), taken at the same time of day as 2 separate injections. I have my first stimming scan tomorrow morning, then another on Friday. EC will be some time next week [terrified emoticon]. Hopefully your left ovary will show its face for the Friday scan. But if you get 3 eggs, that's still more than enough. Quality over quantity and all that. Over here they would only put back two at the most. Mr A was twitching at all the photos of twins again at our last appointment, but I'm not even thinking about that decision yet. One step at a time.
I may be absent again for a few days, heading for a conference tomorrow afternoon. Over the next few days I will be adding to my list of interesting locations in which to inject drugs - so far a restaurant toilet, shop changing room and client's office (no clients were harmed) - with a toilet on a moving train and a conference centre, you guessed it, toilet. Shooting up in toilets is becoming a way of life. Move over Amy Winehouse. Sorry, bad taste
I'm flicking back and forth between threads but I'm sorry if I've missed anything important (bound to have). Waves to Euro, Buzzy, Mrsden, Charlotte, anyone i've missed? I must shift, Mr A is home from work, only another hour or so until bedtime... zzzzz
well done gin make sure you get lots of rest
rabbit oh if only weight was transferable, I have plenty to share around
pout so sorry to hear about big dog, it is worrying as they become such a big part of the family, how long do you have before you have to move???
doll my bowels are constantly 'in the way' of my ovaries
cosmos I can't stand roaches they had massive ones when I lived in Aus, we only have little ones in New Zealand the only thing that freaks me out more than roaches are belly buttons
nothing to report my end, I had a bit of ov pain and slight bit of spotting so AF should be here soon, Kayla is becoming a spoilt princess, last night we put her to bed and she had a right little tantrum, meowing and scratching at the door then jumping up at the handle trying to open it, she went on for about 10 minuteS but she is soooooooooo cute and furry
waves to everyone else
Happy new-ish thread and well done to buzzy for opening it.
Massive well done to gin
and the amazing drucks for surviving egg collection, everything is crossed for good results!
Doll I am keeping everything crossed for the Beirut3 becoming Tehrantwins
Well done for hard work and moving to stimming arte, I am entertained by your array of shooting up locations, I nearly had to after an interview one day. Much kudos for wedding planning and IVFing for nelly. Yay for having crafty pout back in the house. It was nice visiting your twon-pad sarlat, I am dreaming like crazy again, it must be the progesteron half of the cycle...
Right, I am doing an assignment and spend my whole break catching up. I still need tea, so Better Get Back! Waves and loves to all of you!
doll I hope that your follies are growing away nicely and that you get a good surprise on Friday. Sorry to hear that you too are roach-afflicted! They are horrible creatures.
mellow a scorpion in the postbox? Bloody hell, I think I'd be put off sending letters for life! That is terrifying.
art at the 70s policeman. I am so glad that you are finally stimming and that the head fog has cleared at last. It's exciting that your EC is next week. It's all happening on this thread! I'm very impressed by your list of drug shooting up spots very rock n roll.
sar that sounds like a lovely dream, I like the sound of hanging out with you all in a city apartment! that I can't make it to any meetups.
cosmos lots of my colleagues voted today and we're having people round to watch the results come in tonight. It's definitely a time when I'm glad I'm here, and not in the UK, as last election we were in London and MrC missed being at home with all the excitement going on around him.
euro the clomid and peanut butter cup diet has definitely helped me pork up in the past year by a few pounds.
Well I trotted out at lunch and bought a giant, bright yello tub of boric acid, brand name 'ROACH PRUFE', so hopefully the cockroach's friends' days are numbered. I just hope to goodness its corpse is still there when I get home tonight. The only thing worse than a giant dead roach is a giant alive roach still at large!
xpost waves to buzzy and lemon, lemon sorry that you're working so hard, buzzy the insect life in Australia terrifies me!
critter the snakes and spiders didn't bother me, but the massive roaches did and they flew as well, I spent alot of time standing on furniture and shrieking to my now exh to get rid of it
Sarlat how weird about your dream, shame it was tea and not huge cocktails -we should at least be able to enjoy these things in our dreams! Maybe you driving us to the station is symbolic of how supportive you are of everyone on the thread! Sorry you've been feeling a bit meh about the upcoming lap. I know what you mean, you certainly do look the picture of health. Hopefully the lap will sort things out for you. How many weeks till it now?
Waves to anyone I missed out today.
sorry cosmos I missed your post earlier, I think counselling is more about listening to what you have to say and validating your feelings and thoughts, life coaching is about identifying things in your life that you would like to change and then they teach you tactics on how to achieve your goal, its about improving your self esteem, most people have average to low self esteem, people get confused between esteem and confidence, I hope that makes sense
When I lived in the caribbean I used to get quite a few roaches in the house. However I'd also get geckos so I used to just let them roam free, in the assumption that they'd eat the roaches . Admittedly I never actually checked this fact. Everyone so often I'd see a gecko on the ceiling above my bed and pray it's sticky feet didn't give up!
I am spotting so just need AF to start by the time I go for my jab on Friday. Lots of us IVF-ing very close together. Hooray for 11 follies Gin, and fingers crossed for no OHSS, but I don't think FET would be as bad as it seems (as others have said, perhaps even a better option!). Glad you are on to Stimming now Art. And fingers crossed for a couple of good eggs doll, i suspect I'll be in the low single digits too, but that'll be better than none I guess . LOL at the Beirut 3/TerhanTwins . Weren't they an 80's band with frizzy hair with spotty hair bows?
Anyway I need to have an earlier night that I have been having lately. I am still reading. Thanks for all the cheerleading about the IVF/Wedding combo. I think I'm just in denial. But just over 6 weeks to go. EEK!
Morning ladies! I 'm a bit more with it today.
nelly I'm still in awe of the wedding/ivf combo. Will the ivf be all over by the wedding? at using ghekos as pest control.
Urgh at the roach critter. We get some at work.. But tiny ones. And don't worry I don't work in a restaurant or hospital! The big ones I've encountered abroad make me feel a bit sick.
lemons hope work isn't too hectic.
Kayla sounds super cute buzzy <tries to work out if she could steal buzzy's kitty>
artemis hope the scan went ok? And enjoy the conference! I stil can't believe you are so adept at shooting up. I've been told I have to have clexane injection due to the ohss risk I'm a total wuss with them and am covered in bruises.
sar at your dream, but as someone above said cocktails would've been even better...
mellow any sign of af?!
cosmos what you said about basically giving yourself a good talking to in the 2ww sounds like a great idea. I pretty much have accepted I'll never by pregnant naturally, so for me it's a general feeling of sadness about it all rather than 2ww menkuling.
pout so sorry to hear bout Big Dog and the housing situation. We plan to move in a year or so and am looking at pct ivf provisions (although I think I'll have done with treatment by then and am never ivfing again). In Hertfordshire if you're under 40 you get 3, yes 3, funded ivfs! I hope your dog is ok. I was devastated during the summer when our fur baby tricked us into thinking she was dying. She's now v spoilt...
at the Beruit 3 doll. Hope you are doing ok. My follicles were all v small at the first 2 scans...
Well we have 4 embryos today, so fairly similar to last time. It's pretty fecking annoying when I've managed to produce 11 eggs. I have a real fear that there will be nothing left to put in, whenever transfer is. Like you doll I see it all as a waste of time, money and effort. I know there's a small chance it may work, but i have to be realistic. Anyway, at least we can move onto donor insemination. Moaning aside, I'm feeling ok today, just a bit bloated.
Oh and if you are easily shocked don't read on... To go with princess' farting blood, yesterday I was farting pessary gunk. Not pleasant, esp as I hadn't put one up there... They must've done it when I was knocked out, urgh, urgh, urgh.
gin I'm glad that you are feeling okay today, though "farting pessary gunk" sounds delightful!
Three goes at IVF is amazing. I told Leonard before we moved here that I fancied Hertfordshire. Nice houses, reasonable-ish rent but he wasn't keen. Arses.
I know exactly what you mean about just feeling sad rather than mentalling during the 2ww these days.
nelly cripes I hadn't put two and two together and realised that you were embarking on wedding and IVF together. Brave lady Though maybe it is a good thing in that one will distract you from the other IYSWIM
Critter Oh my fecking God at roaches in the wardrobe. I am a total wuss when it comes to anything buggy. This morbid fear probably stems from my grandad sitting on the beach with a can of wasp killer when I was young and nuking anything that came near me!
buzzy aw at Kayla. So sweet. Both our dogs have a hissy when we go upstairs for SWI. They whine and literally stomp around a bit and then you find them, nose pressed right up against the bedroom door. Not off putting at all
artemis I do the checking breathing too. Not because they particularly sleep a lot but just because I am a basket case shudders at the thought of how neurotic I would be as a mother
I did chuckle at your clandestine shooting up and did wonder what the heck you would say if someone burst in on you
sarlat I too an sorry that you have mixed feeling about the lap. All the prodding and poking, discomfort & general inconvenience really is wearing isn't it.
MrsM Any news or movement on the AF front?
Well I am fiddling while Rome burns today. Soon to be homeless, the house is a hairy tip and I am farting around making chocolate coconut squares. Just realised last night that if we reach the top of the IVF waiting list at the earliest indicated point then it will be right slap bang at the time we have to leave here You couldn't make it up!
Also wanted to say mmmmm to Reeses peanut cups though I am quietly sobbing at their apparently off the scale calorific content.
gin 4 eggs or embryo's? just when you say move onto donor insemination what do you mean? sorry! Fingers crossed either way - as has been said - you only need one! And farting pessary gunk is a whole new low
pout chocolate coconut squares sound good!
Love the idea of the tehrantwins !
I heard an astounding story today of a couple who are friends with a work colleague. She had a miscarriage, then an ectopic and lost a tube, then some time later 3 failed IVF. Then a failed attempt at surrogacy. Then now, successful surrogacy[gestational carrier - parents egg and sperm] - about 24weeks... and she's discovered she's about 14 weeks parents. So they will have 2 girls within 10 weeks of each other
Can you imagine!!!!
Still no AF in mellow house (and far from bloody mellow I am too!)
gin hurrah for your four little embryos! That is great news. I am thinking of them and sending them good wishes and positivity to develop and grow. I'm sorry about the pessary gunk and the meh-ness. I hope with all my heart that this go is the lucky one for you. Again, your hormones are probably totally haywire right now so continue to be gentle with yourself - your body has done something amazing and you are being an absolute champ at dealing with all this.
nelly mega impressed by how you are managing the IVF and wedding stress - six weeks will fly by! You are a great advert for having another big project on the go during IVF - although I couldn't imagine having to plan a wedding at the same time, it does seem that you are so busy that it's taken your mind off the stressy crap of IVF - which is awesome and really inspiring. I am totes jel that you lived in the Carribbean - or as they say here, the Kuh-Rib-eeun.
mellow that is an incredible story about your colleague's friends. Wow. Have you tested yet? How many dpo are you? I am in awe of your willpower.
pout aargh about the possible enforced move and the worry about IVF in the middle of it all. I really feel for you. I think you're doing the right thing by making chocolate coconut squares, I always find baking to be soothing!
Waves to everyone else - I am feeling rather delicate today after drinking too much white wine last night and eating too many crisps while watching the election results coming in, switching back and forth between CNN (all singing, all dancing, with loads of whizzy graphics) PBS (very low budget) and Fox (downright miserable as the night drew on). MrC is thrilled with the result, and I fell asleep listening to people whooping and honking their car horns outside.
critter I must admit that I was really pleased to wake up this morning to find that Obama has been re-elected for another term. Not sure why exactly except that he strikes me as very statesman like and smooth I did find his acceptance speech a bit yawn though!
mrsm Jeepers I would be going wappy in your shoes. What DPO are you? Are you going to test again? Do you feel anything? [inappropriate over excited smiley]
Your colleague's friend, let me get this right, is upduffed kind of twice? Two eggs at different times [dumbass smiley] My mind is boggling.
Chocolate coconut squares are done, though I underestimated the amount of chocolate required so some have morphed into raspberry jam and coconut squares. As well as there being a light coating of dog hair over everything in the house there is now an additional layer of dessicated coconut. Big Dog thinks that it is Christmas merrily licking it all up. Leonard will be well pleased - not. It is a fast day for him tomorrow so no cake for Mr Smug I Have Lost Loads of Weight on This Diet, You Didn't and Abandoned It and Now I will Walk Around With My Jeans Hanging Down My Arse Because I am So Thin and You're Not [Not bitter smiley]
yes, she's pregnant twice - at the same time
and what good news about Obama - yay! I'd say Fox were not happy - the biased reporting on there was phenomenal - I was in Boston 8 yrs ago when Kerry was running - makes the BBC look completely impartial!
Guys, I don't know what to do about testing to be honest! I'm CD35 (last unstimulated cycle was 43 days and I don't think I ovulated). I was not on stimulation this month -but had a scan at a consultation on about CD 17 - 19 days ago - which showed a 19mm follicle on the left (where my blocked tube was). The Dr said that I had either just ovulated or was just about to and that it was unlikely to result in a pregnancy, but that she wouldn't give me provera (northisterone) to induce a bleed before starting IVF just in case - that she expected me to bleed in about 2 weeks and I could start IVF on day 3 then. So here we are 19 days later. Even if I didn't ovulate until 3 days after that, it would be 16 days post ovulation. I tested negative last Friday (14 days after the scan). I have had sore breasts since Sunday - I normally get sore breasts just before AF, so not necessarily very useful. I otherwise feel fine. Nothing else to report. I kind of want to wait until Friday to test - CD37, 3 weeks post scan.
'liar, you want to test now' shouted her subconscious
But I'm going nuts. I KNOW the minute I test, AF will come! Why is waiting so damn hard!!
mrsm what a pickle, my mind would be racing. Can you call and speak with your consultant perhaps?
Wow Mrs Mellow - what a head buggery. Gosh, it's hard to think why your AF is delayed unless you are pregnant. So good luck for testing Friday! Although I don't want to add any unhelpful mentaling, maybe your good tube swam over and grabbed the golden egg from the left ovary .
Pout - I know exactly what you mean about things happening at the same time after months of nothing. My lap (which will be treatment based so may need a bit more recovary time) is happening within days of when I am supposed to start the new job. I guess all we can do is look at all this as a sign of good change. The choc coconut squares sound amazing.
Gin - 4 embryos from mild IVF is nothing short of fantastic. That is such a good start. Do you know how many of your eggs were mature? I think you have the right attitude to all of this - give it a go and see where it leads you. Don't get too up or too down and be kind to yourself. Hope you feel ok? I came crashing down the second day after EC with achey / tiredness.
Artemis - how was the scan today. Gosh you are a busy lady indeed. I am in awe.
Hello to everyone else
The dream would have been better with cocktails - I will aim for this next time
ooh lovely new thread. Thanks Buzz.
Gin - sorry about the back door horrors. We are all willing your 4 embies to keep on growing.
MrsM - argh poor you having to do all this waiting. I would have peed on so many sticks by now but then if you have had longer cycles before, i understand the hesitation. Also that is an astounding story they must have spent shit loads as well. Gestational surrogacy costs about £50k.
Pout - so lovely to have you back and you sound chirpy even though it sounds like you have been dropped another bombshell with your house. this happened before didn't it? Can you at least stay in the same county so you can continue treatment? Also, i'm sorry about Big Dog . I'm a bit of a dog crazed woman and know how much they mean to people.
Critter - i forget is MrCrit American? Drinking too much wine sounds like great fun to me. It has been so long since I let go! Also commiserations on cockroach horror. I was cooking in my disgusting old flat share once and i turned round to stir the rice, to find a cockroach from hell had jumped in. I didn't even know the beasts resided in the UK.
Art - I'm glad the fog has started to lift. It sounds like you have been suffering quite a bit with the down regging. I'm sure things are growing nicely for you. Have a good conference.
Sar - that's funny you are dreaming about us. I look forward to the day where we can all meet and have a bonfire night where we will burn everything ttc related - books, pills, pee sticks, needles. When we all have our little
Cosmos - I really hope seeing that guy is useful. I know what you mean about seeing yet another doctor but i hope he offers something new to think about. Also i think it's definitely worth checking the other infections Greece found have gone.
Oh it sounds like you have all discussed Girls before. The sex scenes are a bit cringe but I kind of find it addictive viewing. the show rather than just the sex scenes
Roy had his sperm fragmentation test back and all was fine.
trying not to think too much about what this means, i.e. Joy the problem is clearly with you and your lousy eggs So on Tuesday we have our first ivf appointment and i expect it will all start to feel a bit more real.
waves to everyone else.
gin I saw a lady with a hat, dark glasses and a cat cage outside my house, was it you??? probably best not to be awake with the pessary insertion, yay to the quads
pout ooh I love home baking, how far away do you live how is big dog, when will you have to move, will you stay in the area???
mellow fingers crossed for you, I's have caved and tested by now
well better go I have homework from my life coach and have a busy weekend planned as its Barry's birthday. I am feeling on top of the world right now, work is good (but we do have a right bunch of patients) in at the moment and I hardly spend anytime thinking about TTC which is a relief to think about other things for a change........ waves to everyone
buzzy you really are an inspiration. You should feel really proud of how you've processed everything and come out on top. It warms my cockles to see you so happy.
joy when would the IVF start? <hopeful that it's around the same time I'll be doing it> This is progress - and it is great news that Roy's swimmers are in good shape. Yikes at the cockroach in the rice story. I got home last night to find that MrC had vacuumed it up, bless him. What a relief! Just to be safe, I hoovered again and then sprinkled blue boric acid powder everywhere, behind the fridge and the cooker. We haven't had any in the kitchen, just a little one in our bedroom and then yesterday's whopper in the bedroom closet <not sure if that's worse> but I don't want to take any chances! Mr C is American, yes - guilty as charged! .
pout wish I could have a coconut square, dog hair and all! I bet they are delicious.
sar how's your cycle - any more strange twinges?
mellow that is confusing and I can see why you would be afraid to test. Hand squeeze and I hope that you can find some things to distract yourself with until Friday!
gin hope you are ok.
Waves to everyone else. I loved the idea of a TTC bonfire. I love the smell of bonfires - so evocative and autumnal and lovely - and a TTC bonfire sounds even better!
joycep I would have never been able to eat from that kitchen again if I had found a roach in my rice I'm not joking, I have massive food germ phobias
though strangely have no issue with dog hairs in my food or recreating the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp with Big Dog
It is good that the sperm fragmentation test came back okay though I totally get that with all clear tests comes the mindf* of "well what the hell is wrong then?"
Crikey, everyone seems to be IVF bound. Who's have thought when we started the Part1 thread that it would come to this eh.
sarlat Oh for goodness sake at the bad lap timing. These things are bad enough without the additional worries of new job and how it will impact it. It doesn't seem fair that you have already been through so much.
buzzy I am so pleased that you are feeling so much better. I think that sometimes you hit the bottom and just have to come up. I think that I reached the point where I mentally couldn't do anymore tears or despairing and reached a turning point.
As for the house situation we will probably have to go wherever is suitable and accepts dogs. It will have to be Surrey or faux Surrey because of Leonard's job. It was a major headache finding somewhere the last time and we had very little choice so I'm dreading having to do it all again. I can't quite believe that we have been this unlucky twice on the trot. I wonder if we are forced to move out of the hospital catchment area whether we can just set up a mail redirection and not tell them we have moved. What do you think?
critter hurrah for untimely roach ends at the hands of a vacuum cleaner
I have been known to do this to spiders and then be afraid of emptying the hoover in case it jumps out
The cakes were v.nice despite the kitchen resembling a scene from a snow globe where I had inexpertly and liberally coated the coconut on everything. Would post one if I could
Good bit of news. The vet called Leonard this afternoon and apparently the abnormal cells were a kind of fat cell so Big Dog is in the clear. We just have to keep an eye on the lump to ensure that it doesn't grow too big so as to cause him problems. I am so happy and TBH it puts all the other shit into perspective. So we have housing issues, at least I have Big Dog
Hooray for good news on the Big Dog (said in a Westwood stylee!). Collective 10+er sigh of relief. You did make me laugh about the lady and the tramp scene . Boo to having to move. I was going to suggest earlier just doing a mail redirection, you can do it for 2 years you know. Just saying.
Re the fact we are all at IVF stages and "who knew"? Mr Nelly apparently . He told me a while ago that he always thought we'd have problems. WTF? In which case, why did he flipping procrastinate for 2 years about starting in the first place. Still, I don't think it's worth going down that particular route.
MrsM oh my goodness how confusing for you. Fingers crossed this is the ironic pre IVF diff that none of the rest of us have had! Talking of which I have very painful AF pains today, more so than usual. I guess the 10 days of pill have done something then. Anyway your friend's situation actually gives me hope. What a weird bunch of conversations they are going to have forever more with teachers, hospitals, passport offices, whatever...
Glad to see you so much happier buzzy. Your life coach may claim the credit, but we all know it was Kayla really . Said with a cat sitting across both my arms so I am typing like I'm wearing handcuffs. She's proof reading, and says purrrrrrr. She isn't so keen on Big Dog though.
4 embies is good gin but I guess you are worried about fertilisation rates? Have the clinic been able to shed any light on this? But if I got 4 embies I'd be delighted so it's all relative I guess!
Having said last night I needed an early night, it was midnight by the time I went to bed. Tonight I'm aiming for 11 so must go. Acu tomorrow then first jab on Friday morning. Yippee.
Sorry for everyone I've missed as always. Oh critter hooray for Obama. Everything I read on my FB/Twitter was supporting him. I clearly have only democrats for friends/celeb stalks! Not one Romney fan .
I've killed the thread .
How are the embies gin. And art and doll any updates?
You lot watch Dowton don't you? What Op do you think Mary had, and where do I get one. She's going to be updiffed next series isn't she? <random>.
no you didn't
No update from the Beirut3 'till tmw. Think artemis was busy with conference, artemis egg report? mellow period report? gin embie report?
You haven't Nelly! Just catching up here, it' s only 10.30!
Gah, don't tell me about Downton. Lalalala - fingers in ears... it doesn't come out here until January! How was acu? And exciting that you start on the jabs tomorrow - the time is just flying by! On the man front - so many men procrastinate, it's just what they do, but most of them don't end up having to wait for ages after they take the plunge. I think you're right to not go down that road - it's so easy to do, and it does nothing good. I definitely sometimes think about what would have happened if MrC had wanted to start earlier - we've been together since I was 24 - but he wasn't to know that it would take us so long.
Incidentally, I was chatting to my sister last night and she told me that a friend of hers who has 'the gift' told her that she had a strong feeling that sister critter (who is single and 35) would have a child when she was 38. No idea if true or not, but a nice and comforting thought.
pout I am so relieved that Big Dog is ok. At least that is one less thing to worry about! How were the coconut squares in the end, did they turn out to be as delicious as they sounded?
doll good luck tomorrow.
How is everyone else doing? Any news from our preggos - heart, frannie, princess? Waves to our lurkers, too.
Glad I didn't break it! Good luck tomorrow doll. I hope that's true about your sister critter
hope its true for me too given I'm 38 and sorry I didn't give a Spoiler warning re Downton . We need ideas to load up the ipad for hols actually. Currently watching Homeland, Breaking Bad and Boardwalk Empire. There may be a theme there . We like most things though. Suggestions?
My period pains were bad last night. I never get much at all so have huge sympathies with those who suffer. I woke up sweating in the middle of the night due to the hot water bottle I was clutching tightly! Feel very sleepy but have to go for another dress fitting tonight.
Talking of our preggos (and hope all well) has any spotted Ladygee about? Say hi if you are lurking. Did other grads such as mini and izzy etc stay together somewhere? I hope everyone is ok on the other side .
I am waffling now as work pc playing up. Will post later or if not tomorrow. Post jabs. Hooray for IVF. . But also as I'm glad it's there as an option for me.
Ideas for series watching... Let's see. There is New Girl, the Zooey Deschanel show, which I like - and I hear that the Newsroom is good too - the Aaron Sorkin show. Although I haven't watched it myself.
I hope 38 is a lucky year for you nelly, so much. Wishing you all the luck in the world for an ironic wedding diff!
Sorry about the period pain.
Hello ladies .
Ooo nelly is it your first jab tonight? Good luck! You've just named all the shows we love. Currently working our way through Breaking Bad. I slightly fancy the boy in it... Oh and I agree re Downton. Ended yelling at the tv what fecking op could render her fertile!
critter I love new girl too and definitely fancy Nick in it <slag face>.
doll good luck with the scan tomoz. Any more symptoms?
pout yay for big dog being well. I swear the beasties do it on purpose to ensure more treats.
mrsm any period yet??
We went to the clinic for the ohss check. The scan seemed ok. My ovaries were large and there was some fluid, but pretty much what they'd expect after EC. The blood test was pretty hideous - I have no veins left from all the tests, so it hurt and bled like a bastard, cos of the clexane I think. Just awaiting blood test results to see if we can do ET tomorrow. The nurse doing the scan seemed to think we would be..
I feel so much better this time than I did last time. I guess it's cos I didn't have all the bleeding and internal tears. Just feel a bit tired and bloated.
We don't know how the embies are doing. Fingers crossed some are still going...
Gin - I have my fingers crossed for your embies. ET tomorrow would be fab. So glad this time round has been easier and that the big bad OHSS has stayed away. Hope the farty business has settled too. Mybe I was given a back door pop when I was under too and I never knew.....the mind boggles .
Nelly - period pains are not welcome at all. So sorry and hope the hot water bottle is helping. I am really rooting for you for this IVF cycle. Good luck hon. Critter, cover you eyes and ears. I too really want to know what is going on with this Lady Mary op. I went mad googling 1920's fertility surgery at 10pm on Sunday night . I learnt that surgery to remove adhesions was possible. Thinking it could be endo related or maybe even a hymen removal thing seing as though they were all virgins etc. I am thinking about this too much aren't I?
Doll - good luck for tomorrow.
Art - any news?
Critter - that preminition about your sister is spooky and I so hope it comes true. I would love it if someone could tell me what the future holds (assuming it's all good of course).
Somone on previous page asked how my weird cycle is going. Well I appeared to ovulate very early - at around 11 dpo and I had tons of ovary pain and rattling and rolling going on from cd2 which is not usual for me. Got a ton of EWCM today which is odd because I thought I ovulated 2 days a go. So bd tonight in case egg not yet popped. Generally the cycle isn't too weird but I guess I am good at spotting any tiny change at all. The rumbleyness and ovulation pain has been a bit more aggressive than usual but I am putting that down to some feeble attempts to start exercising lately.
Hello to everyone else.
gin I'm so glad that things seem to be ok on the OHSS front. Although the blood tests don't sound fun at all - the constant needle stabbing is definitely one of the less fun aspects of assisted conception. I am cheering on your little embies, may they be happily dividing and growing as we speak. Come on little ones! I think that you've been amazingly calm and brave throughout this cycle. I so hope that this is your lucky round. And good luck for tomorrow, if we don't chat before then. I'm really hopeful and excited for you.
sar oh interesting about Lady Mary. I am glad that I'm around now, when we have so many great medical technologies - and proper pain relief. Even not having aspirin would be miserable. Interesting about your cycle - I wonder if something different is happening this time? It sounds like it could be a mega-egg from the rumblings? Happy SWI-ing tonight!
I would love it too if I could know that everything would be ok. I remember my mum telling me that in her 20s, she just wanted to know 'how the story ends' - who she was going to end up with, what her family would end up being, etc.
sar your cycle sounds interesting. As you say, we only notice these things as we spend so much time thinking about it all and know what every twinge means! Well done on the sech. My cycles were def a bit different post-ivf. I tend to get a bit of ovary pain and mucus about cd8, ovulating about cd16.
Lady Mary wouldn't have been having a hymen op - she killed the Turk with her sexing! I wondered if they were implying she'd got some kind of std? But couldn't see how this would affect fertility. Maybe fibroid removal?
Just heard from the clinic and my hormone levels are fine, yay. They checked with the consultant and I'm allowed 2 embies put back tomorrow, if we still have 2. If you're at risk of ohss, they generally only allow 1, so there's only one lot of hcg if successful.
X post critter. Thanks for you kind words chuck. I don't feel like I've been brave, with all my crying! Now I'm no longer on the gonal f, I def feel less emotional and haven't cried since ohss day
Hurrah gin that is absolutely brilliant news about hormone levels! Fingers crossed for your embies tonight and much hand holding for tomorrow's EC.
Gin - You are brave. My gosh, no doubt. I am so excited that your hormones are ok and transfer is going ahead hopefully tomorrow. I will be cheering on your embryos. I use to make up songs for mine. I will do this now for yours. 'Come on little ginners , you are our winners, little gins, little gins, win win win'
On the Lady Mary topic, I too thought about the Turkish guy shenaningans. I initially thought that the story suggested they did stuff which meant she was "still the first for her husband" - that is what he was alluding to in the story line. What they actually did do - I do not know. I really want to know now. Maybe it was a fibroid. They must have researched the fertility treatment of the era so I guess the writers have an idea of what the op was for - we neeeed to know. They are tormenting us with this 'polite, do not talk about it' shit.
Critter - I agree this cycle is different. I promised myself I wasn't going to say this out loud for fear of setting myself up for another fall.....But, the time I did conceive 2.5 years a go, the pre-ovulation phase was very rattley with significant ovulation pain. Part of me wonders if the ovaries and tubes occasionally manage to position themselves correctly and in the process clatter past all that scar tissue and press against other organs. I shouldn't have mentioned this. Have you ever heard of a girl who tries to guess if she was pregnant based on her egg stimulation phase observations. I am mad and I need to fish slap myself and get back in my 'never get pregnant box'. Ha ha. Silly Lady Sar.
gin good luck tomorrow with the twins
nelly hope the jabbing goes ok
pout I used mail redirection for 2 years (that is the max they will do it for) the only snag might be if you get a new GP, Glad big dog is better
sar you aren't being silly at all. I would do the deed as much as possible over the next few days. One thing all this has made me think is that there is still SO much that the female body does that we don't understand, and that doctors don't understand. It's this whole complex alignment of dominos - physical, chemical - that seem to interact in incredibly intricate ways. If your body feels different, well, you don't know what the outcome will be, but why not carpe diem and DTD as much as possible just in case. I have everything crossed for you. You deserve this so much.
Lots of activity whilst I was out.....trying on my now nearly finished wedding dress . I will share a photo with you all, but not until afterwards if that's ok. I am so pleased with it.
Haha at all the Lady Mary wondering. Sorry for opening Pandoras box! Yes I thought maybe some kind of endo surgery. LOL at sexing the Turk to death.
Great news gin for tomorrow. What will your Twins be called? Tehran Twins are already taken I'm afraid. I have decided if I ever get to ET (of this I'm still slightly doubtful but don't let my hypno hear me say that) I will consider myself pregnant. First jab is tomorrow, a Prostap (one only, done at the clinic) and then I start the Gonal F pen on Sunday.
sar I hope the early cycle signs translate into late cycle signs! Nothing weird about obsessing over every little detail; though I have to say, the last couple of months when I've had so much else going on, I've enjoyed not being so paranoid.
Not heard of those progs so will go and have a look - keep the suggestions coming! Mr N and I are away for 3 weeks, we need to have something to do when it rains
cos we'll get bored of sex rather quickly I suspect
here you all are! I had a lovely time away on my girl's trip then a quick business stay away. haven't read up everything yet. my hair is still falling out but I've had some blood tests and will get the results soon. IUI mark 2 failed which was a bit sad as it seemed like better chances this time. I've stopped taking the drugs until I get the low down on the hair loss and AF started on my hols. I think we'll take a break this cycle. off to catch up with the news.
Gin - that's marvellous! Really pleased that ohss is no threat and the embies are on the move. Twin gins would be amazing. Love Sar's idea of singing to them!! Good luck tomorrow.
Critter - i'm not sure when ivf will start. I think they do a monitoring cycle and i'm going to get my immunes tested but I hope the start of next year. I'm glad MrC hoovered up the beast!
Pout - i'm so pleased Big Dog is in the clear . At least that is one less thing to worry about.
Nelly - i can't believe MrN thought you would have problems at conceiving. that must have been irritating to hear after procrastination. Sorry about painful period. urgh poor you. and good luck with the first injection. Can't wait to see a piccy of your dress!!!
Sar - you're not going mad. All this stuff drives us crazy. My friend phoned me the other day and she is not relaxed about the fact she is not pregnant yet and she was saying how her cycles have changed suddenly and how she is getting weird twinges...yada yada yada. She has been trying for 4 months!! So it affects everyone and we obviously become super aware of things.
Also loved the fact you were looking up 1920s fertility ops. that's brilliant. Don't read on Critter - but i was very pleased she wasn't pregnant at the end of the series...when the next series comes round next autumn, i bloody well want to be pregnant with Lady Mary!
oh and on the lady mary thing - i thought she had got syphilis or something from the turk, the sluttery of it- but i'm not sure why she would have an op for this. Obviously ihave std's on the brain.
Freedom - nice to see you back. I'm sorry your last iui didnt work. And really sorry about your hair as well. I hope your doc will give you some guidance on this.
Roy told me had a meltdown today at work. He has a really important meeting which clashes with our ivf meeting next week. Bloody typical. He had been feeling shit all day after talking to his bro about all our ttc woes. He went to tell his boss that he couldn't go to the meeting but had to leave his boss and go and cry in the loos. I expressed my surprise that this is his first time that it has got on top of him since this is a regular thing for me. But in all seriousness when he told me this, i nearly cried too. I have this enormous feeling of guilt on my shoulders which i wish i could get rid of. ah well.
waves to everyone else.
nelly sorry to hear about the period pains -hope they are short-lived
doll good luck for scan today, will be thinking of you
gin good luck for ET, fingers crossed for you
joy I'm so sorry to hear about Roy being upset, that is crap, but you will get through this together and there will be times when you're lower than him and vice versa and can comfort each other - but sending you a big hug anyway.
freedom sorry to hear about the failed IUI
critter I too have my hands over my ears - we'll just have to catch up on Downton on DVD next year - la la la la
sar lots of SWI sounds like a good plan - again fingers crossed
I'm sure I've missed someone sorry.
So AF still not here and POAS this am - faint BFP!
I'm not sure I believe it and we're reluctant to celebrate just yet. I'll test again in a few days and will feel more convinced if it gets darker. Miraculous pre-IVF BFP might exist! I don't feel any different or pregnant and I did the test fully anticipating it would be negative and bring on AF so we could get on with IVF, so are a bit blown away. And we do feel a bit "can open, worms everywhere" in terms of what does this mean. I'm just keeping my fingers
toes, arms, legs, hairs, thumbs crossed that its still positive on Monday and it stays bloody well put if it is true!
mrsmellow yaaayyyyyyy!!!! That is just amazing. So so pleased for you. Now you know we need the lowdown...how long had you been ttc again? You must feel lovely lovely news.
Waves to the 10plus massive. I will return later, work beckons.
pout phew about Big Dog.
Wow, congratulations mellow! When were you due to start ivf?
Joy, that's really sad about Roy. For some reason it makes it seem sadder when the men are upset too. I think it takes them longer to feel the way we have for ages. Mrden has never really shown any emotion over ttc. He says he feels frustrated and sad but I think he's very good at putting it to the back of his mind. I have never seen him cry over anything, even at funerals. He's a typical stiff upper lip type british man. If he were to cry over it, I think it would break my heart because then it would be confirmation that this shit is serious. We could be ivfing together, I'm hoping I can start before Xmas but it may fall into January now because of long cycles the last couple of months.
Pout, wonderful news about big dog.
Gin 4 embies sounds amazing to me! That's great if you can go ahead with transfer today, best of luck.
I haven't been abe to watch any downtown yet, but didn't Matthew have an accident? I thought that would have affected his fertility, are they sure the problem is with her? She did it up the bum with the Turk didn't she, to preserve her honour?!
An ex colleague of dh, emailed him yesterday to fill him in on all the news from hs old work. Out of a team of 5, one has recently had twins ( fairly sure not ivf, they were honeymoon babies), another has just had a baby and two have pregnant wives. The world is a very fertile place. I've sort of accepted now that we're the last of everyone we know to have a baby, but I still feel an awful back of the queue, being left behind panic.
Mellow - oh my goodness. That is wonderful news. Gentle congratulations. Am I right that you had a blocked tube problem? We need all the details when you have a minute. So excited for you.
Nelly - can't wait to see your dress!
Oh Joy - that is sad about Roy. The poor fella. But it is also good that he is in touch with his emotions. Let me give you both a glass of red wine, a comfy spot on my sofa, the fire is on and offer you both a good listening ear. It is all sooooooo hard sometime isn't it.
Hay Rabbit - hope you are well. Work sounds busy, thank goodness it's nearly the weekend.
Freedom - I am sorry that the iui failed. It is an odd feeling when an assited cycle fails indeed. I just generally feel a bit numb and odd. Distraction is the best way to soilder on. I'm glad your Dr's will look in to the hair loss. That is just adding insult to injury and I'm sure there will be an alternative. Enjoy your time off from all of this TTC stress.
Den - that is a lot of recent baby news indeed. I know that 'being left behind feeling' is really lonely. . But you will always be front of the que to us.
Critter - as always, thank you for being kind to me and validating my crazy thoughts and feelings.
Gin - You are at the front of my mind today. Wishing you lots of luck and hope you will be welcoming home your 2 little ginny pops shortly. xxx
Hello to everyone. I am especially thinking of the IVFers - Nelly, Art, Gin, Doll et al.
Just sneaking in to say huge congrats to Mellow - what great news may the autumn BFPs continue to roll - Gin, Doll, Artemis, Nelly I'm looking at you and of course ironic pre-IVF / IUI diffs for everyone else. Oh maybe my waters are more accurate than Mystic Meg
Gin thinking of you today. Fingers crossed for the gin twins or Gordon & Sapphire as I will now think of them.
Nelly I can't believe your wedding is coming round so soon. Pictures of dresses, can I see too, big girly excited scream! Good luck with stabbings. I think this will work for you. Because you have too many exciting things lined up afterwards that involve drinking and traveling.
Artemis hope you are getting on ok and your conference was manageable with the stabbing too. Wow, you are a total pro!
Joy I'm sorry to hear that Roy had a melt down yesterday. I've been reading all of your other stuff with awe. What an inspiration you are!
Critter thanks for asking after me. I'm ok thank you I was horrified by your cockroach story. SHUDDER
Pout so glad that big dog is ok.
Buzzy brilliant that life coaching is working for you too. And that Kayla is a welcome distraction. She sounds very cute
MrsD I believe that you will get there. You've had so much waiting and thumb twiddling this year with all of the very thorough testing they've been doing. I don't think it will be too much longer for you now
Sar I like how you talk to things. I do that too
and make up songs like a mad lady Your song to Gin made me I don't think you are a mad lady for watching your body like a hawk. I think that's normal for long term TTCers. I'm still doing it now. Knicker watch high alert in the princess household!
No news here. It's been the worst week for the sickness but today I'm feeling much better and have been able to hold on to breakfast so far (no puke yet). As you can see, nothing has changed since last week. We're off on hols next week, which I'm looking forward to but I'm also nervous about the travelling because of how rough I've been lately. Still when we come back I'll be 12 weeks and then it's the scan a few days later. Still mentalling that it's going to go wrong but I've got 2 weeks and 6 days until the scan. 9 + 5 seems more manageable and less scary than where we were back at 4 + 4. Hopefully it will be good news and the sickness will transform into the 'bloom'. Hopefully Oh and we are still with the PiLs, spending Xmas with my 'rents and looking at moving in January. Rather than our cosy Xmas just-the-two-of-us in the newly refurbed country cottage (sob thinking of that Xmas film with Jude Law and Cameron Diaz) with the new Wii U console and Super Mario Bros game. Hey ho. If I've learnt anything over the course of TTC, it's patience and that not getting your way isn't the end of the world. So, it's not too bad in le grand scheme. And MiL has been helping loads with washing and washing up as I've been too sick to do a lot of stuff, so I'm counting my blessings right now.
Friday waves to all of you. Yay for the weekend, yay for another BFP, I say keep 'em coming! Maybe it will be lights out by Xmas for EVERYONE!
Hello lovely ladies!
I'm still lurking and reading, can't leave my mumsnet home behind that easily!
How did I miss frannie and heart's BFPs?!? Congratulations! And congratulations to mellow, lovely news.
I've got my fingers crossed for all of you going through various stages of IVF at the moment, nelly, artemis, doll. Gin best of luck with ET.
I'm now 20 weeks in - just over half way, eek. Still in awe and disbelief to be honest but all is well so far.
As princess says, keep those BFPs coming - the grads thread is still going and some of our earlier BFPs are really not that far from turning into real live baybees now!
Huge waves and lots of love to you all x
Mellow OMG!! That is just extraordinary ...you hear these stories but you wonder whether they are actually true and it seems so. Many many congratulations . I know its early days but let the rest be easy. And yes tell us all about how long you have been ttc and what did you do differently?? Was it coz you relaxed this month??
Its great to hear from our grads. Lady how nice to hear from you. 20wks wow and after a failed ivf round and everything. Gives so much hope. Princess your sickness has sounded hideous and im glad it has let up today. May you have a lovely holiday.
Mrsd- I have never seen Mrjoy cry either. I know he gets sad about things but i was really quite shocked to hear that he went to the loos to cry. It made me so sad to hear that because i think it takes quite a lot for a man to cry. He really hasnt shown all that much emotion up until now but I think it shows its bubbling under the surface. Oh and i think i mentioned to you before that 5 of my old colleagues were expecting within a month of each other. There were only about 20 in the company. So pleased im not there. But I have tried to accept that to take this long to ttc is very rare and i dont think i will have any friends who will take this long. The docs may constantly spout that 1 in 6 people have trouble conceiving but i think many of those 1 in 6 get fixed before 2 years is up.
Sar i will definitely come and join you on the sofa by the fire. Yes please!
And am also thinking of all the ivfers.
Joy, I think you're right about us long termers being a rare breed. Lots of people think they've taken a long time, but then it turns out its not as long as us! We're one of the 1 per cent or something like that. I have one friend that I know started trying 18 months ago, they haven't mentioned it again and I wonder if there is a problem. But it's also possible they stopped trying because she got made redundant and has now started a new job. I don't see them very much because we moved so I'm only really in email contact and I don't feel right asking about it because I'd hate to be asked. I think we're just damn unlucky to be in the tiny percentage but I suppose someone has to be. You can see from these boards that there are very few of us left in the post two years still barren category. It's almost 2.5 years for me now.
Talking of small percentages, We got the report back from the genetics dr. They have concluded that because neither of us have any of the 900 odd known cystic fibrosis mutations, that our chances of having a child with cf are not more than 0.0001%. So, that sounds good news to me!
Lady gee, it's lovely to hear from you. And nice to know you still lurk, please don't be put off posting on here. I love to be reminded that there can be light at the end of the tunnel. Do you know if you're having a boy or girl?
Princess, have a great holiday. I hope you don't spend it with your head down the toilet. Is morning sickness really that bad? Is it all day? Have you told people yet?
MrsD I second the 10+ers being a rare breed. My friend thought she had been trying for ages and she was pregnant after 6 goes You will get there though. I believe that next year will be your year. We've only told parents and I've had to tell some close friends because of not being able to go on a spa day. I'm looking forward, fingers crossed, to telling my bro and sis, grandparents, and other friends next month. I'm not getting cocky though as DH's 24 year old cousin had an MC at 10 weeks.
As for morning sickness, I've just done my chunder for this morning. So, I thought it was terrible a couple of weeks ago - sort of constant nausea and retching at odd smells, first thing in the morning. This was nothing. Then I had the first morning (last week) where I filled half a bucket with stomach bile first thing in the morning and did some smaller sick burps through the day, sort of coughing up sicky spit - not actual vomming with chunks. Then I threw up outside M&S because the smell of it in there caught me and I was hungry. I looked like a tramp / alcoholic with my head in a bag, leaning against the wall! This continued every day until last Friday when I had a reprieve (sick every morning, retching at smells through the day). Then last Saturday I bought up all of my breakfast and managed to struggle through the day (including travelling to London, going to a matinee show and then dinner with DH) and Sunday felt fine. This Monday, I had to stay in bed, threw up anything I ate and then bile in-between. Tuesday, small sicks through the day and nausea. Wednesday, fine until the evening when I bought up the contents of the day at 10pm (the biggest, most projectile one so far - DH thought I was pouring buckets of water down the loo, came in to look, went JESUS walked out and shut the door after him - yes he's good like that ). Yesterday, I couldn't hold down toast and ate crackers and yoghurt all day. Today, was fine until about 15 mins ago when I was back at the toilet doing a proper sick. Apparently, 9 - 10 weeks is the peak of MS because hormones are at there busiest. And we all know my great relationship with my hormones.
It sounds horrific, but I've only been floored properly for two days, where I haven't moved out of bed or been able to work. Today, I've thrown up, had a sip of water and now I'm back at my desk. So, it's not pleasant but it's sort of manageable. The thing is it's exhausting because a lot of the time, I've got nothing left on my stomach and I can feel my body squeezing every last drop of whatever's left in there out. So it's quite physical. But I've read the more sick the less chance of MC, so I can do this. I would much rather cope with puking than another MC (I'll be even more pissed off if I MC in the next few weeks having gone through weeks of misery). But it isn't pleasant and I've had to rethink everything from not being able to go to the supermarket, not going to certain coffee shops, being able to stop work at the drop of a hat, having a bucket / bag / toilet near at all times, planning every outing and having tissues and water and bags at all times (be warned some bags have holes and I had sick on my lap in the car the other week...) I think I'm just unlucky, but in other ways I feel incredibly lucky to have a sign that Sea Monkey is ok. He's just very, very, very naughty....DH thinks he's pulling the sick chain on purpose, for a bit of attention. Both DH and I are natural attention seekers, so it would follow right?
I didn't have any idea what MS would be like. I thought most people were making a mountain out of a mole hill and it couldn't possibly be all that bad. <hollow laugh>
Sorry for my diatribe. When more BFP's roll in, do find me and I'll give you some handy hints on dealing with this horrible side effect. I want to be enjoying being pregnant, it's taking so fucking long to get here and I want to sit back, eat cake and just enjoy. But oh no......
mellow Oh what lovely, lovely news! How amazing and I am so delighted for you. This kind of news is so fantastic to hear and gives us all a boost. Do remind us of your full story again, we want all the deets!
princess morning sickness on that scale sounds absolutely awful. What a nightmare, poor you. Here's hoping the next two weeks go be fast and that you get into the second trimester soon and stop feeling so rotten.
ladygee ah, it's so nice to hear that you're 20 weeks! I second mrsd's question, do you know if you're having a mini lady gee or a mini gent gee?
mrsd hooray for the good genetic result - that's a relief and one less thing to have to worry about!
joy so sorry to hear about your husband's tears. That is awful and would break my heart too.
free sorry about the iui fail. Onwards and upwards, you will get there!
sar I love the singing, that is brilliant. And your fireside sofa sounds very inviting!
nelly I played a lot of scrabble on my honeymoon. Board games are the way forward when you aren't in the sack!
gin good luck today - I'm thinking of you.
Well I am going back to the UK for the weekend - hooray! It's a very very short trip on airmiles, leaving tonight and back on Monday evening, as I've run out of holiday allowance for the year (apart from the days I'm saving for Christmas). So I will probably be offline for a bit. Trying to think of what I need to bring back with me - probably some jars of nice mincemeat as it's hard to find over here and Christmas is just around the corner!
hello, blimey so much to catch up on and I have had to do it fast. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is halfway though already, attention span question marks.....
Bloody hell mellow that's the best. Good for you. Brilliant. This is your time.
Thinking for you and ET Gin
joy so sorry to hear that 'bout Roy. Sound so painful for you. Please take a hug.
artemis looking forward to your update when you get the chance.
sar you are not mad. Tiny gentle fish slap with very posh sushi
Princess poor you. Good work with Gorden and Sapphire
welcome back freedom sorry that it didn't work this time.
mrsd congrats on the report, now that's good news
Loving the Downton discussion, though I have no idea about the series itself gin I too yell stuff at telly, currently Homeland, and we are not even on Beirut yet. I have no idea 'bout 1920s fertility surgery, but you would hope someone did some research right? Sometimes I bloody wonder if that's the case though, given some of the nonsense. To stick with modern day TTC issues, I have twice recently seen women TTC taking their temp while up and about in some kind of bonking preparation (Woody Allen's 'Match Point' and the BBC Series 'Mistresses')
Anyway....I can hardly fucking bother to tell you about my 'developments' Yawn. <Glance at Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (sorry to bring back bad memories art )> Extra yawn. The worlds slowest growing drugged up eggs. Need more simming, timetable pushed back again (now on 3rd estimate). The Beirut3 have got 2 mates but one will be over-cooked and 1 likely too small. So more fair weather drinking buddies than petri dish contenders. Buying drugs as you go along has its downside. I keep yelling, 'you feckers are costing me more money'
Mrsd - i know there are very few of us who try for over 2 years. Im over 2.5years now and when i work it out i think there has only been about 6 free months in those years that I havent been to see a doctor of some sorts about fertility. Youre right someone has to be unlucky and i keep telling myself thats life, deal with it which i do until i feel reaaaally sorry for myself. Great news about those tests !
Princess that does sound utterly grim and like a horrible hangover every day. Poor you! I wonder why some people get morning sickness and others dont. Most people dont seem to get it so it seems unfair that others do. Anyway, i hope you can enjoy your pregnancy very soon. But i can understand you preferring to suffer from this temporary horribleness rather than MC or the emotional grind of not being able to conceive. Still it is shitty considering the journey you have been on to get here. Big not too tight hug.
Critter ah lovely, have a wonderful trip back to Blighty.
Doll - I am sorry things are moving slowly at your end. I just hope one of those is the golden one. How are you doing on the drugs?
Princess - forgot to say my neals yard book says peppermint tea is good for morning sickness. Sorry if you gave tried and sickes it up already .
Massive thanks joy I have been supping at the peppermint tea and it is definitely in the 'allowed' pile! Sadly it does nothing to stop the being sick. It does however mean that breath is slightly nicer too! Interesting about the MS isn't it. Most of those people who told me "oh no, I never had MS" are now telling me all about how awful their MS had been along with the crippling nausea they faced (yes Mum I'm looking at YOU). It leads me to think that most people are liars. a) about how long they TTC and b) about how 'hardy' and good at coping they are in every situation. I also people like to think they had it hardest, I really really really don't understand why! Thanks again
I'm back from the conference and at my desk. I bet I was the only one shooting up in the toilets before the evening keynote. It was good actually, I was pissed off to have to come back early but trying to be accepting, take each day as it comes, yada yada.
Mellow that is terrific news! I was hopeful for you and it's brilliant to know that the ironic IVF diff does exist. Do remind us of how you got there.
Lovely to hear from the grads Ladygee and Princess and really glad to hear all is well. Princess the morning sickness sounds awful. But as you say, has to be taken as a sign that all's well. It's a long way from rear entry shagging though
Gin really relieved you are out of the OHSS danger zone and hope all went well with ET. I'm cheering on Gordon & Sapphire . Are they able to freeze the other two embies? And how did you decide how many to put back - did the embryologist recommend two? <nosey face>
Sar you're not bonkers. No more than the rest of us anyway . Good idea to get on with the insurance SWI, you never know, and as Mellow has proved, the ironic against the odds pre-IVF diff can happen!
Nelly yes please to wedding dress photos! Exciting.
Pout really glad Big Dog is OK.
Mrsden we are definitely a rare and special breed. Before this i would have said it's better to be in the 1% than the 99, now I'm not so sure...
Joy hope Roy is OK. It's scary when the men get upset isn't it, makes you realise the situation is real and not just some invention of our over-emotional hormone-driven female brains. Mr A had a similar meltdown at work recently, it really shocked me as i hadn't realised he had taken it so much to heart. But in a way it was reassuring to know that he did care as i could easily get the impression he wasn't bothered
make that paranoid over-emotional female brain
Critter have a brilliant time in the UK. Mincemeat, ooh yes. I love mince pies . This is a good time of year for cakes <greedy>
Doll sorry the Beirut 5 are taking their time. Hope the cheerleading/ berating gets them into gear. I daresay a dose of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang should have got them moving. Have the clinic given you an estimated date for EC? You might just be a slow grower like Sar, number says nothing about quality. You only need one good egg after all. How are you feeling?
I've never watched Downton but have pursed lips and a raised eyebrow over Lady Mary and her slutty ways... a Turk indeed! Can't think of what op they would have been doing in the '20s other than a big scrape around. Even pregnancy testing was still in its infancy at that point. I'm not convinced TV people take their research too seriously though, as long as it seems plausible. I am a bad person to watch costume dramas with unless you can cope with Tourette's induced by minor historical inaccuracies.
Scan update... went on Wednesday and again this morning. On Weds I had 13 follies, this morning that had grown to 17 though the nurse said that some were too big already and several of them were too small and they wouldn't all mature. She didn't actually say how many seemed viable, I hope they don't all turn out to be empty shells. But she seemed pleased. She kept saying 'well done' which was weird as i haven't done anything apart from stick the needles in me when i'm told to, I mean I can't actively influence what my ovaries do. I have to go again tomorrow morning (seems the nurses can be required to work on a saturday even if the consultant can't) and EC is likely to be Monday. Eek. I feel OK, just tired and bloated, which is not surprising as my poor ovaries must be the size of grapefruits. They also hurt, it's a weird heavy dragging sensation. I am nervous about EC but will be glad to get it over with now.
Random question to previous IVFers - were you given any guidance about exercise after ET? I don't know whether I should carry on as normal (gym, swimming, high impact cardio) or give in and become a couch potato for a couple of weeks.
Waves to everyone
mrsd and critter - We've resisted temptation and haven't found out whether the baby's a mini lady or a mini gent! Only another 19 weeks or so til we find out I guess...
mrsd those results sound excellent, not sure they could be any lower!
princess - I've been quite open about what we've been through to get to where we are and people tend to fall into 2 camps - either they feel the need to boast that they must be super-fertile because it happened by accident/after one try etc (which I often struggle to believe) or it gives them an outlet to say that it took them longer than they expected (though it's rare that this is over a year).
art Tourette's induced by minor historical inaccuracies. Amazing result on the eggs, making mine look a bit silly. I too have that dragging heavy ache
with a touch of sea sickness and bad head to boot , which is surprising in my case considering minimum effort. All in my head? My first EC estimate was 5th or 6th, then 12th or 13th now it's 16th or 17th. The only day that is impossible for Ken in 19th. I told him not to worry when given the initial estimate. I knew it could be out, but not by 2 weeks, right? Ha. Oh, just get the fuckers out already. artemis sent me a grow spell, pleeeasse.
Exercise, well obviously I have been given no info and come to think of it don't exercise but this is what I would say - couch potato for a couple of days post ET and avoid high impact cardio for the duration if you can bare it. It's as as much for your peace of mind than anything I think, so whatever feels right.
Just a quickie
Doll - they do not know everything there is to know about each of those follies. They may all have perfect eggs inside and there may be hiders in there too. I know its hard, but stay positive. Quality wins the day.
Artemis - what a great number of follies. It won't matter if a few are under or over cooked. You will have some sunripened ones in there. Really pleased things are going well. It seems that (apart from the brain fog) you are having a good cycle.
Gin - thinking of you. Hope you are having a chilled evening.
Hello to everyone else, got to dash.
Hello ladies. I'm back from transfer and the sedatives have just about worn off!
doll yay for the Beirut 5! You just don't know what's going to happen. Some may well be hiding (esp seeing that they couldn't even find your ovary 1st time...) There was 1 day Dave couldn't do for EC and they said things could be worked out so it wouldn't fall then, so I'm sure it'll be fine.
art 17, wow! If I can do EC, anyone can! I had about 16 follies but only 11 worth sucking out (gosh that sounds rude and isn't meant to!). Apparently we had about 9 mature eggs, although one was too fragile to survive the icsi. I think doll's advice re exercise is what I've been told. The dr told me not to do nothing in the 2ww, but when my eyes lit up and I mentioned shopping, he warned me to take it easy...
Re the just get the feckers out feeling, that's totally how I was before EC. Not comfortable at all.
mellow OMG! Ironic pre ivf updiffedness. That's amazing. I'm so thrilled for you. Yay
princess lovely to see you. So sorry about the ms. They can't give you any drugs to help with it? Sounds like you have it pretty bad, but as you say hopefully that means sea monkey is a strong un. at sapphire and Gordon's. Gin mmmmmm. How I miss you sapphire. And white wine. Sorry, hope that hasn't made you puke!
Awww joy hugs to you and Roy. Dave never cries either, but apparently cried about it all with a good friend when shit faced. The friend cried too! It is heart breaking. We've all been trying for so long now. I sometimes feel like I forget what the purpose of all the treatment is. All this work and heartache, it'd better bloody be worth it!
ladygeeeee so pleased all is well with you. Please please do tell us when baby g appears.
sar I LOVE the song for the embies Your kind words really cheered me, as I sat in the clinic this morning. Thank you. And hope you are getting lots of sexing in.
critter have a lovely, lovely weekend back in Blighty. We must all try to meet up one time you are over.
mrsd yay for no cf. If you have a choice for the ivf start dates, I would go for not over a holiday period. Last time we were in over Easter and there was only 1 dr in and it all felt rushed and a bit panicked. I felt comforted this time, seeing at least 2 drs in. But hey, that's prob just my menkulness. Boo to all the pregnant ladies.
Waves to everyone else back over t 'other page, who I've missed. Thank you so much for your kind words. It was so lovely to read them and I felt really supported today.
Well we had 3 embryos left today, so better than last time. 1x 7 cell grade 1, 1x 5 cell grade 1 and 1x 5 cell grade 2. The embryologist suggested putting the 2 grade 1s back in to give the best possible chance of it working. The dr went on a bit about the dangers of twins and ohss, but he checked with the consultant and she said it was fine. He did admit that the chances of twins was v slim and also that at worse i would have moderate ohss, not the killer kind. I was sedated (I'm a wuss) and it was over v quickly. I have had some pinky spotting, but think this is normal and the dr said it'd be from the vag not the womb, as he'd found some blood in there. Fingers crossed it stops. I don't want to go back to the bloody clinic again.
I've got a week or so off work but am gonna spend it with my mum doing xmassy things and trying not to menkul. The dr was very clear that stress is BAD. Btw buzzy I think it must have been the dr you saw for your consultation. I hadn't seen him before, until he did the scan last weekend and scared my shitless about ohss. He just doesn't have a great way with words...
mellow quietly whispering congrats to you
gin fingers crossed for the gin twins, he was some Greek man who we saw can't remember is name, should do as I have a Greek name I didn't think Create had the best bedside manner
critter enjoy you trip home
art good luck for EC on Monday
princess thanks for the sickness update , still best to feel sick then not at all, I believe ginger is supposed to help
doll sorry your follies are taking their time to grow
ladygee nice to see you again, I don't think I could resist knowing, have you chosen names??
joy I hope Roy is ok, it is so difficult to see them upset.
well I have had a hell of a day with alcoholic and borderline personality disorder patients today glad its Friday and its Barry's birthday so will be spending the weekend with the whanau
I was thinking a list of IVFers would be good as I get a bit confused as who is where in their cycle
waves to everyone else and enjoy your weekend
I hope you don't mind me writing. I am a long long long time lurker ( I think from the start?) and I find you all so helpful and encouraging. Why write now? Well as many of you are going through ivf I thought I would tell you about my journey as I'm freaking out a little! Ttc for 2 yrs now, and this year we have done 2 failed iui's one medicated one natural and more recently ivf. It was a very stressful procedure as I am overseas and have no real choice on the clinic and I thought they were a bit crap. They told me i had a 5% chance. i did an antagonist cycle and they out me on maximum drugs ( the consultant only looked at my age ((39)) although my amh is low at 0.5 my fsh is 6.1. Anyway injections were ok but the scans only showed one dominant follicle. So I went into ec with the possibility of only one egg. Turns out there were 6 , wtf??! So two survived and fertilised and transferred on day 3. I found out that evening that they used icsi which I had no idea about so was mega pissed off as I had read all the related risks and husbands sperm was fine etc. So spent the first 3 days following stressed out. Anyway I am 14 days post et, took a test yesterday and its positive. Not believing it at all. Off for my blood test this morning ( although three days early) as I can't wait any longer!!!! Wishing everyone going through this good luck and I am sure it's going to happen to all you lovely ladies.
Thanks all, sorry for not replying yesterday - in meetings all day, then had friends over, so a bit hectic.
artemis you're an egg machine -well done!
doll the Beirut 5 will see you through - love the fair weather drinking companions - you only need one good one!
gin glad the ET is over - take it easy for a few days
princess I cannot get over your description of MS! Oh my word! I hope this is the peak and it will go away soon and you can enjoy pregnancy and have your cake
bubs Welcome and congratulations -thanks for sharing your good news story - hope it sticks!
critter hope you have/had a lovely weekend in the UK- I'd be getting some marmalade, thats what I miss and can't get.
buzzy have a lovely weekend
With regard to being unusual having difficulty - that is certainly my experience - most of our friends have been very fertile- I can name 2 that had IVF, 2 that took a year to conceive, but all the rest have been within 6 months.
Great to be different
So you wanted to know details and someone asked if I just relaxed
We've been trying for 16 months (so I know not long compared to some). I have PCO and we tried clomid and letrozole stimulation unsuccessfully (despite proven ovulation each time x4). I had a laparoscopy which showed a blocked left tube and given my age (nearly 35), lack of success to date and situation
overseas, private clinic were recommended to try IVF. But my ovaries clearly balked at the prospect of spending that money. I had a scan at our last appointment so knew I was ovulating naturally - but it was on the left side with the botched tube.
So I have a couple of anxieties, which after I type them here, I'm not going to dwell on...
1. - it could be ectopic given the tube on that side
2. - it might not stick (normal female response to getting pregnant)
3. - it might all be in my head (faint BFP, feel normal)
paranoia or what
Actually I'm lying, I do have sore breasts and have had since Monday - and they are worse today - but before doing the test I ignored them as I get them every month pre-AF.
But this month - we had sex 3 times a week, alternate days in the middle. I was not relaxed, I was freaking out about spending lots of cash and having IVF and had quite a lot on at work. I ate everything, drank coffee and wine, exercised as much as usual, didn't take any special vitamins/potions etc.
I even had a massive night last Saturday in a 'last one before IVF type way'.
I'll test again tomorrow and if it is darker and positive then might start to believe and feel happy. We'll go for a scan at 6-7 weeks to see if there's a heart beat in the uterus and then might celebrate slightly. Then if we make it to 2013 and 12 weeks will actually relax
start worrying about the next thing to worry about I expect! Did make me realise Christmas is just over 6 weeks away !
If it is ok, I might hang on here until things are certain - going to an antenatal thread just seems like tempting fate - princess heart frannie have you joined one yet?
I have all my fingers crossed for the IVF'ers at the moment - lots of potential, will be thinking of you.
Buzz - that sounds like a tough caseload! My sympathies. Get the wine out, hope Barry had a nice day.
Bubs -hello, what a fantastic story and thank you for sharing to spurr us along. Congratulations. I'm sorry they did ICSI without you knowing, although it sounds like it was meant to be. We discussed ICSI on here recently, the risks with assisted conception methods and babies are minimal and not worth worrying over. We have been placed in a world where every part of our reproductive health is analysed within an inch of its life. Those who get pregnant easily also have their own dodgy bits but these never come to light so they don't stress the way we do. I want to wish you a happy and healthy 8 months.
Princess - ugh, so sorry for the ms. It sounds very grim. Lets hope you are going to have a blosseming and 'shiney haired' second trimester.
Gee - wow, half way there. That is wonderful.
Mellow - such an amazing story. Fingers crossed that the tests keep getting darker although there is NO reason to assume they won't. But I can understand the worry about what will happen next. I too have tubal problems and high risk for eptopic so I know they would watch me like a hawk too. Make sure you distract yourself over the next few weeks with nice things to prevent any undue worry.
Mellow - do you mind if I ask you a few questions about your tubes? You can tell me to mind my own business if you like. . Just to help give me some hope really. Do they know the reason for the blocked tube? Was the other tube in perfect condition? And is the bad tube fully or partially blocked? i.e. did any dye spill through at all. Finally did they mention whether your bad tube was swollen or had a hydrosalpinx?
Thank goodness it's the weekend. What an eventful week or two we have had. Embro transfers, IVF follie scans, 2 pregnancy announcements, antibiotic therapy, conferences, chaps crying in the loo, big dog traumas, and loads more. Amazing.
Can I ask you all a question? Is it possible to ever feel ok again? I have been in a very reflective mode just recently, although not distressed. I am really good at soildering on and putting on a brave face, especially at work. I think this has helped me, for example with my recent job offer. I also like offering support to others as it helps me make sense of my own difficulties and feel slightly useful. But the truth is, I feel so so so terrible inside. And have done for 2.5 years.
I don't know, maybe it's because we are getting so many brilliant and hard earned BFP's just lately that is making me panic that my turn won't come. But I think the fact that I have already had the 'big guns' (IVF) twice with no success is frightening me. I know there is still things to explore such as the cervix widening and repair work with the lap. But the Dr's pushed me down the IVF route at the beginning rather than the lap and repair route as they didn't hold out much hope that it would make any difference for me. So, it's hard to see this operation as a turning point.
Another problem I have is an upcoming wedding. I don't want to say too much for fear of outing myself but I'm sure you all know what I mean if I say it involves a close family member (who I love dearly) that is female. I think TTC is on the cards for them soon.
Do not misunderstand me, I would be delighted for them and would hate to see anyone go though this shit. But.....well you know, it will be tough. Especially as it will bring my lack of offspring in to sharp focus amongst extended family. But this can not be helped / changed, I have to accept the probability.
I don't know how to keep moving forward. I don't want to give up TTC but I have forgotten how it feels to be normal. I am considering leaving this board for a period of time like Pout. Although, not sure that will be the answer either. I really really appreaciate the support and think I would miss it so not sure if leaving is right or not.
I know I am not the only one feeling like this. I am not trying to be unique here. The tears are staring to roll now. Frustration I guess. And a huge dollap of self pity mixed in. Sorry, I don't want to bring anyone else down.
Awww sar, big hugs. So sorry you are feeling shitty. I know what you mean about putting on a brave face and pretending everything is ok, but deep down it's not. I feel like there will always be a little bit of me that will be sad, until we have a child, no matter how well everything else is going. From other people we know in a similar position, I think this is just how it is.
Also I've found this 2nd ivf so much harder than the 1st. I just couldn't do it again. You're all going to think I'm a horrible bitch, but I've found myself growing increasingly resentful of Dave. He's moaning about taking some suppliments, whilst I've been taking some rather major risks with my health. I feel better now - I think the progesterone has mellowed me!
But sar you are still so young and will get there eventually. If you feel a mumsnet break will help, please do try it. Throw yourself into Xmas, the lovely Xmas booze, shopping and parties and return when you feel ready/are bored after your op (as I am!).
I too have a family wedding in a few weeks and am dreading the kids question and having to laugh it off with the whole our house is too small, we can't afford it, women these days have babies in their 50s. Urgh. They're using our wedding photographer, who no doubt will be expecting us to have at least one kid.
bubs thank you so much for sharing your story. Nice to know icsi can work!
mellow please do hang around and fingers crossed everything goes well!
buzzy hope mr b had a good birthday. Your patients sound delightful!
Better get on.. Have other ACers had problems sleeping in the 2ww? I don't know if it's subconscious stress, needing to wee all the time or the progesterone. Oh and I'm totally sick of shoving things up my arse. It's just wrong!
Hi lovely ladies,
Have been reading sporadically over past 2 weeks, had a week away then back to a very, very full on week at work. Anyway, I hope you are all keeping well. Such a lot of IVF action!
Firstly, mellow that is great news. Really, really pleased for you. You are so restrained with the POAS- I'd done 3 by now! Fingers crossed for a sticky one!
gin well done for surviving the EC. I tried to post last week to wish you well but had no 3G. You've done brilliantly. Have you had any further updates?
doll I'm sorry to hear that the stimming is going on so long. As bubs story shows (massive congrats to you!), the situation can be far from ideal and still end up in the desired way. They are also hopefully learning so much more about how you respond to the drugs. Fingers crossed that EC is v soon.
arte massive respect to you for your shooting up in random places! You are one brave lady. GL with your egg collection too.
critter hope you have a safe flight home and that you enjoy meeting up with friends and family.
nelly I'd so love to nose at your dress. I already have an image in my head. We had a winter wedding with perfect blue skies and little snow flurries
and effing freezing I am still in total awe at your ability to sort a wedding and do IVF. Fingers crossed for a sober honeymoon!
joy I felt really emotional when reading about Roy. I'm sorry to hear he's sad but at least he was able to share that with you. I don't know that mine would. It's tough seeing their vulnerable side but, when it comes to it, which it will, he will make such a great dad. Lots of love to you.
ladyg can't believe your halfway. Lovely to hear from you! Good luck with the next 20 weeks!
pout so glad big dog is ok and that you were able to enjoy your furry coconut squares . Sorry about the crappy house situation. Any further news?
All ok this end. I think. From sickness on first day I've had none since and only mild symptoms of sore boobs, nausea and spots. This is making me really anxious and panicky and am willing sickness (although not princess stylee please!). I have a scan next fri, so fingers crossed that there is something there.
Picking up on some of what sar and mrsd have said I just wanted to give my perspective now. I still feel as I did before, that my body is not to be trusted and that I shouldn't get excited because I'm so aware of how many ways it can go wrong. But at the same time a lot of my sadness has dissipated. I still feel jealous of instadiffs and baby announcements but I have more of a genuine feeling of happiness for them. Strangely, and I never ever thought I'd feel this way, I feel partly glad of what I've been through and I wouldn't actually change it. I know that I have a long long way to go and should it go wrong I will slip back into the tent in a heartbeat. However, I feel like I have changed as a person from the whole experience, yes I'm more cynical but I am also far more compassionate. It has also made me value my marriage and my family more than before. Everyone is different and that's just my perspective but I wanted to share that, when everyone on this thread gets their babies, which we will, I genuinely do think we will be better parents for it.
Ooh, feel a bit drained after that. Happy Saturdays everyone. Waves to lemon, freedom and others xx
Time for some attempt at a catch up. I don't have very much to say in terms of me - I'm 10 dpo and can feel my period charging down the long end of the two wait road, bringing evil moods and ttc anxiety in her stupid backpack of period horrors. I reckon it will be here early next week. I'm crabby as anything poor poor hare. I'm annoyed as I really had hoped in the post op reprieve we might just crack it, but am now resigning myself to the joys of drugs and tests and scans bleugh. I hadn't really factored in that it would take my body 4-5 months to right itself but in hindsight that was silly, it isn't really a very long time, considering what happened. Ttc time just feels painfully slow. But, the tampons are in and I'm not mentalling so, bring on cycle 21. Which is my favourite number, for what it's worth! My scar is kind of fading a bit and rarely hurts now unless it is about to really rain, for some reason. And running is still not good. So I'm not doing it until the new year and doing yoga almost every day instead. I've clocked up a whopping 9 hours of practice this week. How am I still moody!?
sar I'm so sorry about the glums. The most horrible thing, well, one of the most horrible things, about ttc is the lack of resolution and unknowns. I find that so very difficult. One day I will die. That is not a nice thought, but I know it is true and manage to live with it and actually not think about it very much because it is an accepted and known truth. I don't know if I will have my own baby. I will never know this for absolutely sure until I have been though the menopause or someone takes away my womble. And the not knowing kills me. The one bit of advice that has helped me with this is that we never know what is around the corner in any walk of life. This thread has shown that babies appear in all sorts of circumstances at the strangest of times and if only we knew it would happen, even if it wasn't for ages, we could bunker down and get in with things. The waiting and not knowing is horrible and there aren't too many aspects of life that require such tormenting for such a prolonged amount of time. What I'm trying to say in my long winded way is that you aren't on your own in this and it is a bloody hard place to be. But there is so much going for you in terms of getting your baby so please hold onto that. I think we all wonder if we are out in the badlands of the 2years plus mark but frannie your post made me well up a bit because you have said so eloquently what I believe is true. It is different for us lot and even after having babies I think it will stay different. I can't imagine how I'll feel when I hear of someone's easy conception other than pissed off, even if I get there in the end but I know I'll be bloody thankful for what I've got and never ever tell anyone just to book a hotel for a dirty weekend and relax!! Wow I'm going on. But anyway, massive hand hold to you today. Keep close to your heart that not all days feels as bad as others and this too will ease away.
mellow thanks for the update. May this be as free from stress for you as is possible. Stay as long as you need.
doll how goes it? I love how you talked about your eggs!
gin I'm waving Pom poms for Sapphire and Gordon and hope you have a gentle and relaxing week with your mum. Agreed that it is
pmt deliberate goading frustrating when our other halves make a big deal out of tiny supplements. I had a moment of when I realised the pills ran out weeks ago and weren't replaced when I thought of my poor tummys 2012 adventure. And is almost never that Im cross with Hare. That situation is now rectified but I'm still cross.
art that is a lot of egg laying. I'm in full admiration of your shooting up all over the place. I know I could not do that and I bow my hat to you. If Hare doesn't inject me then ivf simply won't happen. I can barely even think about it because if I see any blood we can kiss 7k down the pan as I won't be able to keep injecting. I maybe need to address the blood thing. But that would mean having to talk about it and its a struggle even to type the word! Bl**d isn't even much better. I hope you're feeling ok about it all? And getting a Saturday rest.
joy sorry to hear about Roy, is he ok now? Hare is almost always fine but sometimes wistful when we are with children. He 100% believes it will happen so toddles around cheerfully. I probably need that but I wish I could feel the same.
princess sorry you have a bile bucket. No one wants one of them! My mum has educated me well on ms as I gave her the most horrendous time ever. Bt she did apparently bloom in the second trimester and had amazing hair. May your bloom time come soon.
ladygee so nice to hear from you, I admire your restraint in having a surprise! Amazing to think you are halfway now.
bubs thank you for sharing your amazing news. I'm so glad for you and wish you all the best with the next bits.
buzzy I think I need to get me some of what you're having.
Wave to pout lemon euro mrsden and anyone I've accidentally missed. And*critter*. Lets all give our tails a fluff and march into the festive season holding each others hands. I've just had a happy thought that after March it will be 2014 babies and I really like that number much much more I'm downing sexy times until then!
mellow its totally natural to feel like this and to worry about it going ok, I hope the scan puts your mind at rest and that the next few weeks fly by
gin after a year of 'up the bum' it feels quite normal to me now I can understand that this time feels harder, is your mum still with you?? It is frustrating when the 'men' complain about what little they have to do compred to us, I have to say Barry is alot better about things and more surportive but it took a long time
bubs thank you so much for telling us your story, I'm also 39 and feel quite comforted by your story as I felt my odds were low, I'm certainly looking at all with a different view.
frannie everyones symptoms differ and I found that mine came and went a bit
sent me fricking insane how many weeks will you be when you have the scan??
sar if you had asked me a month or so ago I would have said never!!! The counsellor said I won't really be happy until I have a baby and that that is my main focus and she didn't see the point in trying to shift my focus so has been happy for me to cry and constantly talk about babies and how I feel, which has helped, I have to say getting Kayla has made a world of difference to both Barry and I, she gives us something to focus on, she is very demanding a cat is not a substitute for a baby, I still want one but for now we practice our parenting skills on Kayla, and yes I know my children will be spoilt little shits
The biggest changes for me have been the life coaching and the removing myself from the stress at work. I've learnt alot about myself, I've learnt that my mother was very dangerous and very poisonous and that she has caused alot of damage and that she taught me alot of bad thinking habits, but life coaching is teaching me that I am responsible for me and my happiness, how I think and behave affects how I feel, I'm learning to love myself for who I am and I learning how not be a door mat to others and how to deal with bullying and other difficult situations, I'm looking forward to seeing my old boss!!
She gives me exercises to do like finding 30 positive words to describe myself and then having to say them to myself out loud every night, I thought what load of crap but it really does help, its all about learning the difference between your self esteem and your confidence, if you don't believe in yourself other won't either. I feel bloody great about myself and my moods are better and my outlook on life is better, I feel I can deal with situations without looking at the worse case scenario all the time. I don't spend all my time thinking about TTC, which feels like a weight lifted off me, I just feel calm and happy right now, I know I'll have ups and downs still, sorry I have gone on a bit, I can PM you some of the other exercises she has given me.
The alcoholic was really nice and sober while with us, I had a little tear when he left, he was so grateful for the support but he has been drinking for 49 years and know he'll go back to it, the other one is a complete nightmare threatening to sue us all!!! We have several 'la la' patients at the moment.
Well Kayla is proving to be smarter than us she has now learnt how to open her food, so we put it in a tuperware container on top of the fridge, last night we could hear scratching on plastic and thought she was in her dirt box, then realised that the noise was from the kitchen, we caught her red pawed on top of the fridge trying to knock the tuperware container off but she is soooooooooooo cute, she literally gets away with murder
well off to cover my grey hairs..........
Hi ladies, just a little up date, not sure how many of you will remember me? I was the sodium bicarb lady. 2 years TTC, had started fertility investigations bloods and scans for me SA for DH, also had a post coital test that showed thick acidic hostile cervical mucous with very few live sperm in it. Was advised to try a sodium bicarb douche around ovulation and was given oestrogen and clomid to try next cycle but didn't need it. Got our BFP that month whilst on holiday, I've been lurking and am now 29+3, and all going well with baby. Just wanted to say 'it can happen' and when it's least expected. Continued good luck to you all and big congrats to those who've had BFP since I've been lurking xxx
rabbit well done on all the yoga- bloody impressive! I do think you're right that your body has been through one hell of a trauma and I really, really think it was getting you a step closer last month. If you think how soon that was after op (I know it's not when you're living it every day but relatively speaking) I'm sure that your time is close.
becks good to hear from you. Glad all is going well. Quite a claim to fame being the douchelady!! Hope the next 10 weeks go smoothly. I wonder quite often about kitty, she must be due soon?
buzzy so glad that you're feeling more positive and upbeat. Seems from your and princess' experience that life coaching is really worthwhile. Glad you're getting lots of parenting practice with Kayla, she sounds gorgeous. I think we'll all have slightly spoilt children on this thread....but they will be extra special! I'm 7 + 6 on Friday, according to my period but as I only ovulated on day 19 I'm not sure if this changes it to 6 something? Acu lady said I had good pregnancy pulses, so just crossing everything.
Anyway, better get the lemon drizzle cake out of the oven, smells yum!
Hi all, just popping up to say a big hooray for mellow. It's lovely to read BFP's on this thread. We are on a bit of a roll now ladies, I am hopeful there will be another one at least before Christmas.
Wanted to also send love to all the IVF ladies, you are all so strong and resilient. I have everything crossed for you, and keep checking in to see how you are getting on. Nelly especially - girl, if you can do IVF and a wedding at the same time, then you really can do anything! I really am in awe.
Sarlat - the docs pushing you for IVF rather than surgery was just a matter of opinion of your consulting team. A different doc may have said something else. It does not mean that surgery won't help you - they won't know until they have a look. I remember clearly getting frustrated at my clinic as every time I saw a different doctor and they would give a different opinion regarding surgery or not. In the end the penny dropped when one of the consultants said 'there is more than one way to skin a cat' and really it is just trying things out until something works. Some docs are more pro surgery than others, some prefer IVF, that's just the way it is. You've got a lot of confusion going on regarding your tubes so at the very least this should answer some questions for you. Don't stress hon - you have been pregnant before - your body CAN do this.
Princess hope the sickness passes soon - not long now till your scan. Have a wonderful holiday.
buzzy glad you are feeling happier. Kayla sounds so gorgeous.
As for me, I am ok, the bleeding has stopped. However all my nausea has gone as well and and I actually feel fine, not even tired anymore, and definitely not pregnant, so of course now I'm feeling mostly worried and stressed. Frannie I am with you! I've booked a private 9 week scan next week so should find out more then. Wish I could feel positive, but it's impossible really, my only experience of pregnancy has been to miscarry. If anyone knows anyone who had no sickness in the first trimester and had a successful pg then please do tell the story, as you don't hear about it that much!
lots of hugs to everyone else, hope you all have great weekends.
Just popping back in again (you can see I'm being a lazy ass today) just wanted to say to heart that I'm glad the bleeding has stopped but sorry you're having no other symptoms. I have googled
about 20 times 'no early pregnancy symptoms' and there are lots of positive stories. My mum told me that she had absolutely no symptoms at all with me and was worried until I moved at 22 weeks, as they had no scans etc. She was terrified the entire time. My 2 BFs have also never had symptoms. It's hard when you can't talk about it openly and ask people. I'm sure all will be fine. Good luck at the 9 week scan. X
Art - i am incredibly impressed with the amount of eggs you have produced. Wowzers! that's amazing. So i thought the stemming bit was the slow part but it seems like this has happened quickly if EC is on Monday. It's obviously going to feel much slower when you are going through it. Anyway best of luck for Monday.
Bubs - I am so pleased you have delurked to tell your story because we need to hear stories like yours. That's amazing and many many congratulations and i hope everything well went this morning. Please do keep us updated.
Mellow - it is natural to have all these worries but at this stage i think all you can do is take every day as it comes and put faith in your body and it most likely will be all fine. It's also good to see that you weren't relaxed as i have been told you can't get pregnant unless you are relaxed .
Sar - your post made me so sad and probably because I recognise so much of what you are feeling. I know to have had 2 ivfs which didn't work must make you fearfull but just because they haven't worked so far does not mean on any account that it's never going to work. For what it's worth I think the lap for you will be a turning point. I think they'll be able to give you a better diagnosis and can do what is necessary to fix it. I know it's all very well good saying all this because none of us know how our stories will end but I just can't not see this happening for your Sar. I felt it when I met you. And also because you make excellent embies.
I also have forgotten what it feels like to be normal. Many times over these last few years I have asked myself whether i will ever be truly happy again. Everything is very raw beneath the surface. To be fearful of meeting friends or going to weddings because all it does is remind us that we are still without children is one the hardest things and I still cannot deal with it properly. Roy and i have just driven to some national trust wood and went for a long walk and even that was a reminder that we are missing something. We're missing our kids even though they have never existed. Roy means everything to me but it just feels like there is a gaping hole next to us. I'm not sure I can offer any advice but I think seeing the positive change coaching has had on Buzz - i think that could perhaps help?? How would you feel doing it? Once we start ivf, I think i am going to do it.
Gin - I am glad transfer went well and now you are to rest for the 2ww whilst gin twins settle in. Sorry about Dave - boys can really whinge can't they .but i think the drugs can certainly play havoc with emotions. My BiL's friend whilst doing ivf turned around to her husband and said ' i want to fucking smash your head against the wall right now'. She is the sweetest person ever as well. She is 30wks preggers now and is back to her lovely self!
Frannie - it's so nice to have you popping in. And really interesting to hear how you feel now you are pregnant. Also I am intrigued that you feel partly glad of what you went through because whenever I daydream of having a baby, I also can imagine I will feel like this. Of course if it doesn't happen, I will be forever embittered! I think it was Critter who said that her parents found having kids less of a slog because it took so long to get there and I can imagine this being the case. we will all be better parents for this journey and won't take it for granted.
Rabbit - i'm sorry to hear that pmt is rearing her head. Your poor body has been through so much . I loved what you said to Sar. Very eloquent.
Buzz - your coaching sounds really inspiring. It has obviously worked amazingly. Plus Kayla sounds a delight, so cute.
Becks- none of us would forget the bicarb douche girl! You are so close now - many congratulations. It didn't seem all that long ago that you were on here.
Heart - i know plenty of people who had no symptoms. That is quite normal. in fact most people i know who have been pregnant don't have symptoms. But I can understand the worry so best of luck next week and I'm sure your mind will be put at rest.
Roy is feeling better now. It was a blip but I think the sadness and worry is bubbling under the surface for him too. So just to cheer him up, i discussed donor eggs with him as I fear mine are frazzled. Anyway, I don't think we will ever go down this route if it came to that. Poor chap but I like to discuss our options even if it doesn't come to that.
Waves to everyone.
Gosh there has been a lot of very in depth chat on here and I don't know where to start. But I'll try.
Firstly I am really enjoying seeing some of the pg 10+ers pop on to say hi, tell us their tales of woe (sick related) or joy (scan related ) and very much miss you all. So much so that I popped over to read the Grads thread today. Tell Stacks I still remember her as she's local to me! I can't post on the thread though as it's too much tempting fate. And Becks we all remember you
Sar oh my goodness you poor poor thing. You have been so much a source of inspiration and support for us all, and I hope we can even begin to repay the favour. Rabbit has spoken beautifully. For me, I can't say I've found a "solution". But my hypnotherapy helped a bit. As did an amazing course I did at work (wonders will never cease) which had a lot in it about positive affirmations, and achieving goals; about what makes you tick; the power of the mind etc etc. It sounds similar in content to Buzzy's life coaching. I don't know when it happened but I realised I do feel much more balanced. Far less negative self talk, and far more looking to the future and seeing light. That, and frankly keeping busy, and making a plan. I am very lucky to have my hobbles; and I have decided if no baby is on the way a year from now I will buy a second one and really throw myself back into the competitive field. But I've also started thinking about donor eggs and/or adoption so that I know this isn't the end of the road. But oh do I know the sadness, and the panic. I still get the odd rush of panic, like being winded, swiftly followed by being stabbed in the heart; and as Joy said I've also experienced the terrible grief when you realise your own children aren't with you. But if it's any reassurance at all, there are periods of time now where I do feel happy. I don't think I'll ever go back to where I was; but actually I don't want to. I wasn't 100% delirious before; and this has taught me so much more about me, what I want out of life; about my relationship with Mr Nelly. Anyway - that's all about me, not you! But I just wanted to emphasise I do feel like I'm over the worst. And you'll get to that stage too. In the meantime, there are options for you still. You have time. You will get there, I know it. Massive hugs to you.
Well done on the follies art - I agree that suddenly EC seems to have come around fast. Huge fingers crossed for you.
Bubs your story was very heartening, thanks for posting.
Heart I'm so glad bleeding has stopped for now but can only begin to imagine the worry. I hope so much it all works out.
Buzzy, your little furry monster sounds like a Diva .
Oh my goodness I didn't say congrats to mellow. Another set of fingers crossed for stickyness.
Missed hundreds of you including Critter, MrsD, Lemon, Gin and the Twins, Euro and everyone else. Haven't seen Teu around?
I had my first jab yesterday - the Prostap, which is to stop the follies dying off as they normally would. They warned me to expect headaches etc but so far nothing really. Tomorrow night I start my own jabbing. I am hoping I can do it myself as I think I'll just end up shouting at MrN for doing it wrong . I have not exactly been following rules. I've drunk a relative amount of wine this week (wedding tasting, very important); haven't listened to any of my woo cd's and am running around like a mad thing. But we're away tomorrow for 2 nights to treat ourselves between wedding stress and the start of IVF; hopefully I will get a bit more sleep at least! Now, does anyone know if it's ok for us to have sex .
Heart - delighted the bleeding has stopped. I think no symptoms is very normal. Good luck for the next scan.
Becky - that is great to hear - congratulations.
I am overwhelmed by how everyone has rushed to my aid. I can't thank you enough and it HAS helped. I think I am just emotionaly tired. I have tried most tricks in the book on this journey, alternative medicine, western medicine, peer support, reflexologist acting as counsellor, trying to be positive, trying the 'don't give a shit' attitude. Feels like I am running out of ideas. Like all of us here, its the crippling feeling of not knowing how this will end that is most agonising. It is so cruel and unfair. And the more time marches on, the more I fear it is not meant to be.
But your kind words have given me strength and hope. Chum has suggested to me that I need to moan more on a daily basis . Don't get me wrong, I am no saint but I tend to be a 'smooth things over' type person which he thinks doesn't always address the way I really feel. I may also look in to life coaching and I have booked extra sessions with my lovely reflex lady. Heart - you are right, there is still so much confusion over my tubes. This can not be helping. I swing between being terrified of them being grossly damaged to thinking they are not that bad which in theory would put us in the unexplained catagory. Maybe the Dr's should have focused on the lap to start with to clarify the situation and for the sake of my psychological well being. I don't think the way my hospital has dealt with me has helped at all. Aside from all the clinical errors they have (nearly) made, do you know I haven't had one appointment letter that has been accurate. They usually send an appointment out, then change it or send me a second appointment for a week later so I never know which one to go to. Or they send me one with the wrong Dr or whatever. The admin side shouldn't and doesn't tip me over the edge, but they never ever seem to get anything right. And I am not a perfectionist so by no means expect things to be amazing.
Ok, I will stop jabbering on and no need to reply, having a clear out me thinks. Thank you again Ladies. Sarlat will keep going.
Well, I am officially delurking after more than a year. After being on the first thread and mumsnetting for about a year I needed to step away from the Internet to preserve my sanity. Now, 2.5 years in, I think that it would be nice to have some ladies to chat to again. My real life friends who were going through fertility treatment have all now had babies or adopted children and I'm feeling a bit adrift. Harping on about it to them seems selfish somehow.... I hope no one minds me butting back in .
It's wonderful to see that there have been so many successes since I was last here and to see that lots of the original posters have at least moved forward with treatments and investigations.
As for me, I have had a very long year but feel that we are finally turning a corner. I think that it was your posts sar that inspired me to write again. I am about to have a laparoscopy in a few weeks and whether or not surgery is the right option isn't clear but I know that for my own mental health I really need to know what the hell is going on in there so that I can make some informed decisions for a change.
I was scheduled for a laparoscopy a year ago to diagnose suspected endometriosis but unfortunately that plan was derailed when I became really sick and was hospitalised with a suspected ruptured appendix. Ended up having an emergency op in the middle of the night which revealed a Fallopian tube abscess. Emerg surgery means that it wasn't a gynae who did the op so there were no notes about anything apart from abscess and no biopsies taken to confirm endo diagnosis. Fast forward a year and I have had several ultrasounds, an MRI which apparently showed extensive endo and a distended right Fallopian tube, including 6-7cm cysts on both ovaries, and a very embarrassing camera up the bum to rule out endo having affected the colon extensively.....
We are now on the ivf waiting list and heading for surgery in about 5 weeks. Expecting surgery to include removal of at least one tube and terrified that both will be blocked with either fluid or scar tissue. So pleased to be moving forward at last and trying to stay positive.
Apologies for the massive me me me post. Next time I will throw myself in to name checking and catching up on what everyone has been up to .
That way - pleased to meet you. Do you know, maybe things happen for a reason. Maybe my recent crazy posts were 'meant to be' if it triggered you to re-join. I think you do need someone to talk to - and I'm glad you chose us.
I am so sorry to hear about all you have gone through. You have dealt with general health issues as well as fertility health issues. The emergency op musy have been very frightening. We can do the lap journey together and then collect out lap medal of honour from Rabbit (a lovely lady on here). Do you have symptoms of endo? And do you mind me asking if you have pain or symptoms directly linked to your damaged tubes? I am told I have a hydrosalpinx based on HSG although not evident on ultrasound scans. So it could also be peritubal adhesions (outside but blocking the tube). I have no symptoms or pain at all and no history of PID or endo. But I guess all will be revealed at the lap.
I think your lap will help you make a better plan for proceeding with TTC. I know that is an easy thing to say. I find it difficult to listen to my own advice however. It's great that you are staying positive.
Pleased to meet you too sar .
I have heavy and painful periods which I'm guessing is the endo. They think a hydrosalpinx for me too based on MRI scan. I had no history of pid before the abscess either but they made me do all of the sti tests anyway which makes you feel pretty horrible when you're at a low ebb in hospital but I don't suppose they can take my word for it that I'm a good girl and my husband isn't the philandering type!!!
I had really sharp pains on the side where the abscess was and the hydrosalpinx is now but they went away after surgery. Worryingly I've started having a few twinges now on the left side..... I don't think many people have pain from blocked tubes do they? My consultant says that the hydrosalpinx would have to come out before ivf because leaving it in halves your chances of success . Has anyone talked to you about that?
Off to airport to collect dh after a weekend spent with his parents. For once I was given a reprieve
It is cuntryfile time, my best mumsnet hello saying time. I have just eaten a chicken and leek pie I did for me and Hare (another Jamie but this time no fibs about how LNG it would take). We have made good headway with the Not Nursery this weekend, it is ready now to be painted and done. I admit to it making us both rather.. Thoughtful. We would both love that to be what we are planning and its been hard to rip out stuff and think about the shape of things without having that in the back of our heads. Ah well. I'm spotting today and my temp fell so cd1 should be here in the next day or two. For maybe the first time ever since ttc I haven't cried. I have invested no faith in this cycle as its felt time to get a grip and accept I'm going to need a bit of technical assistance! Bah humbug.
nelly good luck with the jabs and I hope the headache stays away. You wrote lovely sense making things.
becks come back and tell me what you did with the bicarb! I'm so glad you are so far along and doing well, good to see you.
madness can't believe it's been a year since you posted! Goddamn where is the time going. I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through - did the appendix mess things about maybe? Such a shame you had to go through that with a non gynae person. When is your lap? I'm sure it will shed insight into what is going on in there. Drs shouldn't assume that it's an sti that causes this as it could be anything. Stay here and we will hold your hand and keep you company in the Waiting Room.
joyce I feel it in my bones that my eggs are fooked. I can't think what else it could be really. But I'm sure we have some hanging on that have a good use by date! The one egg a month thing is somewhat problematic in terms of reproduction!
heart so so glad the bleeding has stopped. Two of my close friends had no symptoms at all, whatsoever. One is heavily pregnant and still has none except a big old bump and kicks! The other was the same and surprised at the scan that there was actually something in there. Do let us know that your scan was ok, but I have a good feeling that all will be well.
sar keep going. There is a plan of action to focus on now and plenty of time for ironic diffs. Hope you've had a good Sunday.
Waves to the rent of the gang. Thank you euro for the Reece's cupcake suggestion. I scoffed three of them today. They are not especially in my ttc eating ways of making everything from fresh - but so tasty! I'm going to make my own recipe. I'm not even going to put maca in!
That way - yes they have talked about hydro tube coming out to help ivf success. But they are not entirely sure if I do have a hydro. It depends which Dr I speak to. Some Dr's think both my tubes need to come out. Which makes me cry. One of them has said she is "not suspicious of my tubes". Therefore I proceeded to IVF this April a bit confused and just hoped for the best. I have had 1 fresh cycle and one FET, both BFN.
Its all a bit complicated (and to be honest the account of events I give depends on my emotional outlook and pessimism levels of the time). The HSG showed a large and perfectly circular mass at the end of the right tube. The diagnosis is small hydrosalpinx with peritubal adhesions. But the diagosis is not definate as the hydro is never present on scans. The lap will confirm I guess either way. I am hoping it is perituabl adhesions only (where the dye pools in scar tissue at the end of the tube rather than in the tube). But that is wishful thinking I know. The op will be to remove adhesions and try and open / repair the tube. But it may just close up again anyway. Or, I may wake up to be told the tube needs to be removed if it is badly swollen and diseased.
I think some people get pain with a hydro but not always. I know the websites also talk about a strange discharge which often happens with a hydro. But I get frustrated that they don't describe what this might look like. For all I know, I could have had a hydro discharge for years but just never realised.
Will the ovarian cysts be straight forward to fix during the lap? I understand your fear about tubal removal. I really hope they will just remove one in your case. I know how psycologically distrsessing it is to go in to an op not knowing if your organs may or may not have been removed when you wake up. Having said all that, I don't wish to make either of us feel bad. We need to think positive. The truth is, there is lots of hope for people with tubal problems at the end of all the surgery and upset. We have to keep believing.
Nelly - good luck with the jabbing and thank you so much for your kind words. You are one very special lady! I'm glad you have had a few sneaky drinks and been playing the relaxation cds. The weekend away to reduce stress sounds idea. I need to take a leaf out of your book.
Rabbit - oooo the pie sounds yum and peanut butter cups are the perfect pudding. Im sorry the old witch is on her bloody merry way. I am glad that you feel ok about moving on to assisted conception but you may want to consider giving yourself a sensible timeframe to continue ttc naturally first based on last months BFP. Basically I think you have options. Thank you for being a super friend!
Hello to everyone else. Hope you all had a good weekend. Special good luck to the IVFerz and will look out for scan results and egg collection stories this week. Thinking of you all. Sorry for hogging the thread this weekend. x
Sar I'm sorry you're feeling low. Have a hug and a hand-hold and some of this posh praline ice-cream I'm scoffing
out of unfettered greed for its protein content. As for whether it's possible to feel OK again, I think it is (at least I hope so), but the kind of OK you reach will be different to how it was before. The only thing I have to compare to TTC is a major bereavement which knocked me for six for several years. Nine years on I have learnt that time does heal, but life will never be the same as before and I am not the same person i was. TTC is different because of the constant uncertainty - there is no single event to deal with and process, and in a way we are all grieving for the life we wanted and can't (yet) have. But there is much in your favour. As Rabbit says, babies show up in all sorts of unexpected ways. I believe that you will have yours.
Madness welcome back to the thread. You really have been through the mill, it sounds very traumatic. I feel for you ladies with tubal problems, there never seem to be any clear cut answers or even any clear cut plan for investigations or potential treatment. Being unexplained is crap but at least I have been spared the trauma of repeated surgery. I don't think the consultants have any real understanding of the impact all of that has on patients' mental health.
Nelly good luck with the jabbing. I came to the same conclusion as you - would rather do it myself than entrust the needles to Mr A. He'd have far too much fun. Hope you had a lovely weekend away! It's too late for me to answer the sex question but we weren't told to abstain once the cycle was under way, and given that my hormones have been comprehensively hijacked i can't see any reason why we would need to.
Buzzy hope you had a good time for Barry's birthday. Thanks for the info on the life coaching, it sounds really helpful. The counsellor we've seen at the hospital does it, I'm going to ask her about it next time.
Gin I certainly don't think you're a horrible bitch - or at least if you are, then so am I. Mr A has been whingeing about a joint problem he's had for months and that he doesn't help by continuing to do all the things the physio has told him not to do. And I know that 10 minutes after we get back from EC while i am feeling battered and bruised he'll be ensconced on the couch with a beer in one hand and an espresso in the other. Grr.
Frannie FX for your scan, I'm sure things will be fine. Everyone's symptoms are different so lack of explosive vomiting doesn't mean there is a problem!
Heart I'm glad your bleeding has stopped and have everything crossed for your scan too.
Joy I've had that experience too of walking through National Trust woodland and feeling like the only people who aren't a proper family. It knifes you in the heart doesn't it. But I reserve the right to be a bitter old cow until such a time as I too join the mummy brigade
and will no doubt remain bitter and twisted even if that miracle happens. I do think Frannie is right and if we do become parents we'll be much more aware.
Rabbit the injections aren't bl**dy ones. I've done a sum total of 42 injections over the past 4 and a bit weeks and I have only drawn blood once, must have nicked a capillary, but it was only a tiny amount. They would be easy for Hare to do though, then you could just look away. I love your image of us all marching into the festive season together
Becks how could we forget the sodium bicarb lady! I'll be trying it myself if this IVF round doesn't work out. Glad to hear things are going well for you. I can't believe 29 weeks have gone by already though
Mellow did you test again? Hope you are starting to believe but I understand the anxieties! Thanks for the run-down on what you did and didn't do. The more stories i read, the more I think all of this is just down to luck <thinks longingly of wine>.
Bubs congratulations to you and thanks for sharing your story, it's great to have these hopeful stories to cling to in the midst of all the stress.
Akuaba any news on the Beirut Five? Have you had any further scans? Sending you positive growth vibes. What stimming drug are you on? TBH I think my ovaries are doing some uncharacteristic showing off. Being northern and therefore tight I find their level of profligacy simply embarrassing, not to mention wasteful. I'd better have some eggs left inside me after all of this. You are probably right about the exercise. I do running etc for my sanity
and to limit the size of my backside but a few weeks off after ET won't kill me. Logically it's probably not possible to shake an embryo loose but better not to take the risk.
My EC has now been put back to Tuesday because not enough of the follies had grown to the right size by yesterday morning. Apparently they need to be at least 17mm and most of mine were 15, with a few above and below, so they thought Tuesday would give the best chance of a decent number being ready. Like Akuaba i just want the feckers out now. My ovaries hurt. I have to do the trigger shot later this evening, so I'm missing a comedy gig that Mr A had booked tickets for in a male brain attempt to cheer me up. The trigger has to be kept in the fridge, but even if it didn't I just can't face doing any more injections in unknown toilets!
Sunday evening hugs and waves to everyone <wipes ice-cream residue from chin>
art thanks for the blood reassurance! I couldn't really say where the phobia came from and feel a bit silly for talking about it on here! Suffice it to say, my ruptured hematoma this summer was distressing! Can you imagine if I do have a baby - it is not a blood free experience !!! I'm glad you're at home eating ice cream. Wishing you all the best for Tuesday. Is is like bad ovulation pain?
sar going to sleep not knowing if you'll wake up in tact was a crippling fear of mine this summer. I woke up shouting have I got a womb!? It was suggested at one point that I had another lap and if they saw the beast, operate there and then and if not sew me back up. I did not like this option. As it was he allegedly felt it that day so it was straight to big op. I couldn't imagine going in not knowing if I'd wake up needing 3 months off work or a few days. But, the fear of these ops and the implications of what gets found is, I think, almost always worse than what actually happens. If they can't see anything on a scan it does make me wonder if it has just worked itself out and got better of its own accord. No one can believe my fugitive vanished. Bodies are curious things.
Hi all, had the 'rents here this w/e so no time to post properly, but just wanted to send huuuuuge hugs to Sar. Waiting for my lap was one of the hardest ttc stages ive had. I really do believe this will be a major turning point for you. Keep going one day at a time and it will be over before you know it.
Hello ladies. Special hello to Madness, I've missed you . Sorry you've been through such hell though. Hand holding a plenty here.
So I did my first jab. Was ok (was a tiny bit of blood, sorry Rabbit ) but literally no more than a bleeding spot. Sounds glamorous huh . Did it myself but MrN stayed with me and held my hand metaphorically. And then gave me some technique advice from his days as a junkie . Not really (obviously, I hope) he used to have to take blood from people in a previous job. Anyway so far it's all ok.
In our nice hotel, had a nice dinner. Avoided booze but that was comedy as out of the 3 non alcoholic drinks I've ordered one was wrong when it came and 2 were unavailable. Should have stuck to wine .
Lovely Sar I'm so sorry that you were feeling so rubbish - and I agree with your friend who says you need to moan more - you have not been dealt a kind hand and it is very confusing. Here in SA they don't do HSG - for the very reason that they don't want people to end up feeling as you do I think- that if you find a blockage you really want to deal with the problem asap. I'm hoping that your lap finds a sortable solution. In answer to your question. Both my tubes looked completely normal and dye went through the right normally. But despite much manipulation and fiddling from both ends, they couldn't force any through the left. I didn't have a hydrosalpinx. I now worry that some sperm went up the right and out and this will be an ectopic. But maybe the egg cleverly found its way down the left or even went on a journey to the right tube (I am a born traveller and never take the easy route ) . Fingers crossed - I guess it will declare itself - I will have a scan in two weeks to find out and worrying about it isn't going to change anything.
thatway welcome and you too have had a tough time, hope that your next lap is useful for you and your stay is short this time.
Hi to everyone else. I repeated a test yesterday and it was a definite quick positive so starting to believe in miracles.
Am away with work for a few days so will check in later in the week.
Oo it's v quiet on here which is unfortunate as Im bored in the office. Well done nelly on jab and mellow yay for darker lines.
I'm bored in the office too Rabbit but I have a mountainous list of stuff to get through before tomorrow's EC, since tomorrow will be a write-off and I am
looking forward to expecting to spend another day wilting about the house watching rubbish telly and feeling vague. Relieved to have finished with the injections.
Mellow hurrah for darker lines. I have discovered in my TTC
travails travels that Fallopian tubes are surprisingly mobile buggers and a healthy tube can pick up an egg from either ovary. So hopefully that is what has happened in your case
Did anyone see this article in the Guardian by a woman who just had her first baby via FET at the age of 51 after two mcs and four failed goes at IVF? Clearly she is very very atypical but there is some thoughtful comment on older mothers and the tendency for clinics to want to rush people into IVF.
Really quick post because Leonard is working from home and hogging the office/spare room. See one of the joys of no kiddywinks is being able to designate a bedroom as an office!
Anyways mrsm wow! I am so pleased I can't tell you. I am so glad to hear that you are getting quick positives now. Congratulations.
ignores the fact that BFP's seem to happen when I go AWOL for a few days
Also bubs & becks congratulations to you too. I agree that it is very helpful to hear stories like yours, it gives me hope.
I am so sorry sar that you are feeling so low. I had the same thing. Family wedding and literally a honeymoon baby. I'm not going to lie, it hurt like hell and it really did knock me for six and sent me into a spiral of depression for a bit where I kept dwelling on the unfairness and the whole "why me" or "why not me" but you will come up again - I promise.
It is so difficult when there is no end in sight and so difficult when we keep slogging away with all these hospital appointments and treatments. I keep thinking how you are always taught that if you try hard enough at something you will get there in the end. It is a shock that it isn't the case with trying for a baby. I saw a programme where a lady had cancer and chemo which rendered her infertile and she said that the hardest thing for her wasn't the cancer but knowing that she wouldn't have kids. For me that spoke volumes about how bloody hard all this is. I do believe though that in time we will all have our babies or we will come to a point of acceptance. I believe that the human spirit is very resilient.
I have waffled I know. I'm not very good at words of comfort - I am sorry. I guess what I should simply have said is I am thinking of you and hoping for the resolution that we all justly deserve on here.
joycep Hearing about Roy really upset me. It is easy to forget how much pressure our other halves are under.
gin I am happy to see that the transfer went well. Now I am rooting for your little peas to shoot and bed in
rabbit Well done on the decorating. I too had the pangs of this should have been a nursery when we did up the second bedroom. It passes! Given that we are on the move again, that room was never going to be a nursery anyway! Life is a funny old thing.
I too am on the run up to AF. Nothing to suggest that it is anything but another bust cycle.
heart it's good to see you. I second the idea that there are plenty of ladies that sail though their pregnancy. Let us know how your scan goes?
buzzy I am quite envious of your coaching. It sounds like it has been really useful.
Cute Naughty kitty
Hi frannie I hope that your nephew is okay.
nelly and artemis Thank you for posting about your injecting. That is something that really screws with my head and it so comforting to read that it is actually okay.
Good luck tomorrow artemis
I have missed so many of you out but send lots of love. Off to knock out my bread...exciting times
I havent posted on here in a few months, and I really hope you dont mind me butting in. I wouldnt feel comfortable posting anywhere else on MN though [shy] Like others, I have been lurking and have been so cheered to hear about the run of autumn bfps. Congrats frannie, princess, heart and mrsm. And Im also keeping everything crossed for those currently going through IVF. Please, please let this be your time, akuaba, artemis, gin and nelly.
I should probably reintroduce myself: ttc for 1.5 years, SA fine, normal FSH (7), but a rather meagre antral follicle count of 5 (I think the last time I posted here was when I got that bit of news), which prompted the consultant to send me off to get my AMH tested [ugh]. I had to wait 6 weeks for the result, which wasnt fun, but a couple of weeks ago at our last appointment we got the not unexpected news that it is pretty low (2). This happened to coincide with my 35th birthday (you know the one, when everyone tells you your fertility has suddenly dropped exponentially ), so it wasnt the best of times. We were advised to go straight to IVF no point in hanging around with your dodgy eggs, being the underlying message and were put on the waiting list (about 6 months, they reckon).
But yesterday morning I got two lines! And today I did the CB digital one and it said 2-3 weeks. Shocked doesnt begin to describe it. And thrilled, obviously. But mainly worried. Exactly one year ago, we were in the same place and it lasted two days, before my period then arrived. (We are apparently only fertile in the month of November.) So Im fully expecting this to go the same way . But it is sooo hard not to hope.
Im also wondering what to do about telling the consultant/gp. What happens if you get a bfp whilst waiting for IVF? Does your funding get taken away/do you get bumped down the list, even if it ends pretty quickly in mc? If I werent concerned about that, I might ring them to ask about getting a blood test done to check for progesterone levels etc. Or is that something I could do privately without them knowing?? (You can see Im not doing too well on the not-getting- my-hopes-up front.) Still, the main thing (which I keep telling myself) is that it shows that, even with my poor results, its not impossible. I had been feeling so low after my last appointment and had convinced myself that my eggs were fooked. If nothing else, this latest turn of events gives me some hope that that might not be (entirely) the case. I guess thats really why I wanted to share my news here in case anyone else reading here has been feeling despondent after AMH/AFC results.
Apologies if this is all a bit me-me-me.
Beryl wooohooo! What fab news! Of course you are remembered! Just to say I had a private progesterone test, your consultant need not know anything about it. I ticked a box to say that I didn't want them to pass on the details to my GP. I did the test for my own reassurance and didn't want any awkward questions or "that was entirely unnecessary" chats. It is a terrifying time especially when you've already gone through an MC, but as somewhere who has been there and is now 10 + 1 and inching ever closer to the "magical" 12 week mark, just take each day as it comes. There's nothing you can do now, apart from sit back and hope and take it easy.
Waves and hugs for everyone else - especially Sar - sorry you have been so down and Artemis all the very best of luck for tomorrow
Just popping in quick after a few days away from the thread. T'was meltdown avoidance after reflecting on chat about long term TTC, I can't even remember 2.5 years in . So, there's a bad number to think about, then the doctor says he is not surprised about my poor result in numbers of eggs (so there's another bad number) due to my age (yep you guessed it, and another). In the process of this I missed your weekend posts sar I'm sorry. I haven't a clue how to deal with it all really but I guess my instinct is to try to change the way I look at something, taking a different view or perspective when something is not working for me. In TTC numbers I'm a bit of a hopeless case but it is what it is and I have plenty other drama at the moment (related to ever more tits up Tehran situation) which has called for non-statistical analysis and shouting. I'm here too for best wishes to Artemis good luck for tomorrow, I'm not too far behind you, booked for EC on Friday morning. Oh, Beryl I just saw. Amazing, well done. Would you GP have anything to do with IVF waiting lists? I don't know anything about how things work in the UK, I'm sure someone here will have an idea though.
Oh and there's someone that has info and experience already, x-post princess
Ahh, thanks, princess and akuaba. I've made an appointment for a private blood test, which feels a bit like I'm doing something... Shall look out for the box to tick about not telling the GP!
Afternoon all! I have so much to catch up on after a busy week last week.
mellow your friend's double pregnancy is amazing! Oh, and I've just read on and seen your BFP news! Hurrah. I believe that is what is known as an FCFU (a fertility clininc f* you!).
Hurrah for Beryl too! As others have said, you can definitely get the blood test done in a way the IVF clinic need never know about.
at the roach in rice story, joycep!
Nelly we've been together 9 years (since I was 27) Neither of us wanted kids when we got together. I changed my mind around 30 (cliché!) and it took him a bit longer. We eventually started trying just before I turned 35. I do occasionally wonder if things would have turned out differently with a 5 year head start.
I can't wait to see the dress!
Pout I'm glad your dog is ok.
freedom sorry to hear about your IUI result.
princess sorry to hear you are pukey, but I hope you are able to enjoy your hols anyway!
doll sorry about the bad numbers. It only takes one though.
Thanks for sharing your story bubs and congrats on your BFP! And thanks for popping back Becks - not long to go now! <waves to the other bfpers who have popped by> Welcome back Madness.
Rabbit I know what you mean. I've given up with Mr Euro and supplements. His packet seems to last the same length as about 6 of mine... And it's not like any of his Sas have been stellar, so there shouldn't be complacency on his part.
I'm glad the Reese's might help. At least they have so protein in the nut part. They are not all empty sugar. That makes them practically I health food, I think!
buzzy kayla sounds adorable. Your counselling sounds great. You sound very level headed about everything at the moment, which is astonishing after all that you have been through.
No news from me. I'm on day 17 I think. I'm pretty sure I ovulated on day 14. We timed dtd well, but at this point I don't hold out much hope each month.
Yay beryl that's great news!! Wow so many bfps this autumn - mystic princess was right.
Good luck for tomorrow artemis! Hope you have some time off to recover afterwards and enjoy pottering around the house still spaced out by the EC drugs I did read the article about the 51 year old mother. I was initially jealous, but then saw how much treatment she'd been through and decided I was pleased for her.
I found it was 50/50 whether my jabs bled. But it was only a teeny tiny speck of blood. rabbit I suggest getting hare to do jabs and mop anything up, whilst you don't watch. Although personally I think you'll win a baybee without any ivf...
doll awww hugs re the long term ttc. It is all shit, but try not to be too down about this ivf cycle until you see how things go after EC. You never know.
Mmm bread pout. Sounds yummy. Are you house hunting at the mo? Whilst off, I've watched tonnes of property programmes, tonnes. It makes me want to find a cute cottage in the country.
sar hope you are feeling a bit better.
Welcome back madness
joy you are a long, long way from donor eggs.. You havent even had 1 go at ivf yet. I was reading about Gaby Logan, who was unexplained and got preggers with twins 1st ivf round. Hope Roy is still ok.
heart yay that the bleeding has stopped.
becks so pleased to hear all is still going well.
nellie hope you had a lovely break. We were told only protected sex pre EC and none after it. Tbh, once my ovaries were full to bursting, it hurt too much for any seching.
Waves to everyone else.
We had some good news today. The embie that was left in culture and was a 5 cell grade 2, made it to blastocyst and was frozen! The embryologist said this bodes well for the grade 1s on board, as long as my womble doesn't kill them (my words, not his). These embryos def seem to be much better quality than last time. Maybe dave's Proxeed did help after all... My mum will have to do my clexane shot for me tonight, as I'm sans Dave. They fecking hurt
Right off for some more Phil Spencer. Big luffs to all
Have got my pom poms out and ra ra skirt on for Gin, Art and Doll - and cheering you all on madly from the sidelines. Keep going!
I always love a success story, keep them coming. Crikey its almost like a newbie thread on here at the moment.
Waves everyone else and bear hug to Roy.
Hi rabbit for the bicarb mix 1tsp in a pint of luke warm water, give it all a stir and then use a large syringe to squirt it up your fanjo just before you DTD. The nurse suggested only doing this around ovulation. It neutralises the acidic mucous and thins it out? Definitely worth a try (very cheap!!!). P.S I did it in the bath as most if it comes back out straight away!
sar my abscess was missed on two ultrasounds so I don't know how great they are at picking up these things. I think that we both need to see lap as a real positive step forward. I'm trying to cross the horrible bridges if and when I come to them for a change instead of spending the whole journey stressing about what might happen..... Cyst removal hopefully straightforward but some disagreement about whether it should be done at all before ivf because some ovarian tissue will inevitably be removed. Thankfully my endometriosis specialist is also my fertility doctor (I'm getting appointments in two different clinics with the same consultant) so I believe him when he says that the main goal of surgery will be to preserve fertility.
rabbit peanut butter cups are my absolute favourite. There are always some in my christmas stocking. In response to your question my appendix was never the problem. They just had no idea why I was so sick and the abscess was on that side so the pain was there. On the up side I can highly recommend iv morphine. My dh also says that I was lovely when high . Lap is on December 14th.
artemis thanks for the welcome. I do feel strangely comforted by the diagnosis but I think that's because it makes me feel like I can fix it. The problem will come if both tubes are removed and ivf fails. I have no idea how I would cope with that. At least now I have the hope of ironic bfps and miracles to cling on to. I hope that trigger shot went well. I am in awe of all you ladies injecting yourselves. nelly my dh has already informed me that he'll be coming nowhere near me with a needle, given how critical I can be when he tries to do things that don't involve the potential for pain and blood
mellow hang in there. We are all now experts at waiting!! You've got heaps of positive thoughts heading your way from here.
gin hooray for the successful news from the clinic. I shall keep my fingers firmly crossed for you.
beryl fantastic news!!!!! Well done for booking the test to put your mind at ease. My experience of the nhs is they don't communicate very well across clinics or departments so I'm sure you'll be fine. You can tick the box just to be sure.
Hello to everyone else. I'm off to Pilates so that when i finally get there my post pregnancy stomach will ultimately pop right back in place, just like all those celebrities in the magazines
oh my goodness, Beryl, this sounds bizarre and slightly dodgy but I was thinking of you last week and wondering how things were going. I am SO thrilled for you and it just shows that it can still happen even when results are fairly low. Really good that you have booked in for a private progesterone test. Honestly congratulations, your news has brought a big smile on my face.
And madness welcome back. I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through.
Gin - your clever embies!! That's great news and really thrilling to have one in the freezer. How are you feeling, are you back and work and keeping yourself busy? And thanks Gin, I keep fearing my eggs are fucked with my super low amh but you're right i should really do ivf first. I didn't realise gabby logan did ivf.
Doll - that's great you have date for EC now.
Pout - i hve heard that before that one of the first things young people who are diagnosed with cancer ask is ''will i still be able to have kids'. They are more likely to say that first apparently rather than 'am i going to die'. And you are right that speaks volumes.
Art - Really best of luck tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.
Nelly - well done for doing the first injection. That is often the most difficult one.
Big waves to everyone.
So I had a 28 cycle (just) this month . One of my biggest frustrations has been my shortened cycle since my m/c so to reach day 28 is a huge milestone. It could have been the lap or it could be the antibiotics, I just hope my lovely clockwork 28/29 day cycle I use to have before ttc misery will return.
beryl yay! The finger is well and truly with us! So glad for you and heartening to hear even when the numbers aren't 'perfect'. May the next 8 months go smoothly.
gin yay for your frozen gin
doll I don't like to think of you having a meltdown. There is so much going on for you right now. But keep going, it only takes one stubborn one..
artemis I saw that article. So I've got fifteen years. Bring me wine by the bucket!
euro ha ha at the vitamins lasting longer for men. They do that here. One pack to my three I reckon
madness ah I muddled up the appendix bit. I had my lap on the 22nd. Which made Christmas rather bloated and tiresome. 14th much better methinks.
pout how goes the househunting?
How are some months of failure so much easier than others? I'm still spotting. Sigh. It's a nuisance. But this month I'm glad as its not pink, vanishing or hope raising, just regular, I'm telling you you're not pregnant but I'm not your period spotting. We timed things well and ov felt very normal but I've had not a hope this month so I just want to get on with it now. Tomorrow is a big research consultation for me with a very early get up so that sounds about right for it to rock up with pains. Every time!
Oh and thanks becks I've been saying ill do it for ages. Nosey question but did you get ewcm? Can you get this and it still be hostile? Why is the body so mind bogglingly complicated?! Wave to cosmos too.
Joyce missed you, great about the 28 days. I wonder if the lap magically did something?
Hi rabbit, they said I did have mucous but not lots and it was very thick. I was prescribed the oestrogen to help with the mucous but didn't need it. Whether that was because of the bicarb, who knows, but it was the only thing we did different that cycle?????
Here to say good luck today artemis
rabbit I have some stuff to tell on the bicarb, it hardly holds the same value as that from becks considering I'm clearly not up the duff but perhaps food for thought all the same. I'll come back shortly...
Just wanted to share a clomid success story... I have been TTC for 24 months. I'm 28 and have had irregular periods since coming off the pill 4 years ago and losing lots of weight for my wedding. I also have a low egg reserve and don't qualify for IVF on NHS as my husband has children. I've had had 4 rounds of Clomid and the last cycle I also had the injection to help ovulation. I also have been having reflexology and have put on a stone to give me a healthier BMI. A miracle has graced me and I'm now 6 weeks pregnant. It's very earlier days so I'm keeping my fingers crossed my little Sunflower seed holds tight.
Never give up and try to stay positive because nature can surprise us. I read hundreds of these posts whilst TTC and they gave me hope as it proves that it is not always easy and there are thousands of other strong, amazing women going through exactly what you are going through.
Baby Dust to all. x x
Sooo...butting in on bicarb...it doesn't increase CM or thin it, it changes the pH. CM can be "hostile" due to infection, thickness or acidity or more than one of these reasons. Postcoital testing is the way to assess which is not practiced in many places these days, it's one of those things that some doctors think is a waste of time and a few doctors think is key. The good thing about identifying thickness or acidity is it's pretty easy to rectify, in theory. Acidity is checked by removing mucus and measuring the pH with a strip of litmus paper. Could you do this yourself? I guess so yes, if you have any litmus paper handy
Now I got into this business a while back due to reading stuff by Dr Sami David who is all over the idea of little tweaks over big guns. Not having any litmus paper handy or much spare CM come to that, my self-assessment went like this: scant is clearly a problem which I attempted to address; thickness not such a problem as the little CM I do have clears and thins as ovulation gets closer; acidity, no clue, what's the harm in trying? I followed the instructions given by David in a book I have. I should add rabbit 'cause I know that this is an issue for you, I got cystitis directly afterwards. Now, causal link? I'm not sure but here's the thing, semen is neutral to alkaline and that's why acidic lubricants and acidic CM can damage sperm, the vagina in general is typically more acidic which is a defense against infection. So creating an alkaline environment make you more vulnerable to infection? I think so yes. I just thought it was worth mentioning.
x-post shrivell congratulations to you.
Thanks akuabadoll, I'm still in shock x
Where is everyone? I 'worked from home' today and did nothing. I'm freelance this year and have just started a new piece of work, I should be right up in it getting to know the material but I'm not even close. artemis we are due a report, hope all went well today.
Hey doll I'm here! Yay to working from home, I like it when that happens. It lessens my productivity spectacularly. Wise words about the bicarb. I actually do have litmus paper! (Hare's secret hobby) so will find out how acidic my foof is! But not today, cd1 and I'm feeling grotastic. Been on the road oop north, still am and need a bath and a hot water bottle. Where are you up to with stuff?
Thanks shrivell for sharing and doling out some hope.
Ttc notices of the day. Today I heard a colleagues daughter is divorcing due to the strain of infertility I also saw a heavily pregnant woman and partner scoring drugs. Both of these things have made me feel hurty inside
oh don't feel hurty inside, not on account of other peoples stuff.
I'm booked for EC on Friday morning. Egg report on Monday was the Beirut3's drinking buddies are still about. The little one all alone at right side is not growing, still tiny and useless, but the big one over with the Beirut3 has slowed up so might be stepping up for a go in a dish.
Yay for the Beirut 3!
Sorry about your ttc notice, rabbit. I also know of a couple who were on the verge of divorce after failed IVF. And then she got updiffed!
I know the second episode of Homeland was some weeks back in the UK, but can someone explain to me what was going on with the hair colour situation. She coloured her blond hair brown and wore brown contacts for a reason that defeats me then while in "Beirut" she turns blond again for a reason that again defeats me. Does this shit just wash out?? If so what happens when it rains?
Just a quick update from me. EC went fine, they got 13 eggs, though they don't expect all of them to be mature and of course don't know how many of them will fertilise. The embryologist will ring me around lunchtime tomorrow and let me know how they're getting on. Weird to feel that bits of me are now swimming around in a petri dish
probably training the AK47 on the invading sperms knowing my luck. I am back home now, lounging with a hot water bottle and paracetamol and fecking annoying needy cat. I have stomach cramps like period pain but like Gin said, the most painful part of the procedure was them getting the needle in the back on my hand and I have a big swollen purple bruise to prove it.
It was weird being in hospital going into theatre when I'm not ill. Currently feeling hugely resentful of all the instadiffs and "whoops! I missed a pill!" conceptions. It shouldn't be this hard. But I daresay I will bounce back again tomorrow when I feel a bit more lively. Happy to come back then and outline what happened for anyone who is interested. Mr A managed his visit to the "men's room", I was envisaging lots of green leather, billiard table, Top Gear on repeat, but he said it was just a plain room with two chairs (two?) and a small bathroom. I think he was slightly offended at having to wash his knob in the sink. I told him about Ken's experience next to the nurses' room with the stapler soundtrack, poor boy looked horrified. In retrospect I should have told him about it after he'd done the business rather than before
Akuaba I'll be cheering on the Beirut 3 and their mates. "Working from home", welcome to my world, I need a good deadline to give me any enthusiasm at all. Rabbit good to hear you are managing CD1, hope you are home now with that hot water bottle. Joycep hurrah for the 28 day cycle, here's hoping your body remembers the experience and repeats it again next month . Gin how are you feeling? I wanted to ask what the injections are you're doing at the moment, I don't have any injections just the yucky pessaries to start on Thursday, worried they have forgotten something
I need to switch my brain back off but will be back again tomorrow. and luffs to all
Art - that's fabulous about the 13 eggs. Really great news!! So i'm raising my ginger tea to them and willing them to grow. And instadiffs can f off with all their 'can i be pregnant when i didn't even have sex' crap. Rest easy. When do you go back work?
Doll - it's quality not quantity so go little beiruts. Really interesting about the litmus paper testing. i must go on the hunt for some.
Shrivell - many congratulations and thank you for telling us your story.
Rabbit - boo hiss to spotting. and about colleague's daughter divorcing. On the flip side I have heard of people's relationships getting stronger after infertility. But it's a delicate situation i guess, it could go either way.
I've just had my first appointment at the ivf clinic. It was a positive experience on the whole well as positive as it can be. Just a lot of paperwork and going through history. As I'm on CD3 I could have done the monitoring cycle this month and gone straight in to it but I need some breathing space. It's now up to me when I start. And I think we will gun for the start of Jan.
I thought I'd accidentally stumbled into a pregnancy thread, it's lovely to hear of hard fought bfps. Congratulations and good luck to you all.
Woo hoo for the Beirut 3 doll!
Art, wow, that sounds like an amazing number of eggs. I'd love to hear about the process. Probably a bit stupid but I have a big fear about the back of hand needle thing ever since my mum had an op and told me that was the worst bit. Her hand was bruised for ages afterwards. I have crap veins too, gin. They sink at the sight of a needle.
Only on this thread would someone actually have litmus paper at home rabbit!
Sar, your post really struck a chord with me. I have wondered about whether it's possible to ever truly be happy again too. I think it's impossible to know how we will adapt to a childless life until we're through with all treatment. Ivf is a numbers game, everything I read leads me to believe that if you have the money and the energy to go through with multiple cycles then it will result in pregnancy at some point. I know someone who didn't get pregnant until their fourth attempt. And had thought it was never going to happen. I read an interesting article a while ago, where fertility doctors were arguing that 4 ivf cycles should be funded here, because that gives women the most likely chance of getting pregnant. What I'm trying to say is, I knew it feels bleak for you but failed cycles do not mean a future cycle won't work. I think happiness will come back, but I know that for me it will be a big hole in my life. I think I'd have to reevaluate everything. We would be financially better off with no children, could live very selfish lives but I expect I will find it hard to be involved with friends ad family because of the reminders of what I don't have.
Gin, I totally understand your feelings. It's seems so unfair that our problem is to do with the men, but we have to put ourselves through this. Mrden is in my bad books at the momenr because I discovered he hasn't taken any of his vits for a few weeks, it's not much he has to do, just remember one pill a day ffs. We'd also agreed we wouldn't drink much before ivf, but he was out on Friday and Saturday and us out with the football boys tonight so I know he'll be drinking. I know it doesn't really matter but it's the principle.
X post joy. Jan, new year sounds good time for our next stage. We can cycle together and hold hands. You never know, you might get that ironic ore ivf bfp in your Xmas stocking.
Talking of insta duffs, did anyone see the thread about the woman who wondered if she could e pregnant after her dh had a vasectomy and then they'd done it once, and in the wrong hole! I never saw the conclusion, but I did think that if she turned out to be pregnant then someone somewhere is playing a cruel joke on us.
Woo Hoo for the Artemis 13!
mrsd when i had surgery before, I said the idea of a needle in the back of my hand made me feel faint so could they do it elsewhere? They did it by my elbow for me, which I was fine with.
I have to dash but just wanted to drop by first!
I did see that mrsd - it was a BFN but ....
joy and mrsd it looks like we could all be cycling in the new year together!
oh that's lovely euro and mrsd that we can cycle together but as mrsd mentions I'm fully expecting dear father chrimbo dropping a bfp in my stocking.
ah the back of the hand , that's when i said 'ouch' when i was lying in the theatre just before my lap and then they told me i was going to fall asleep and i started shouting, 'oh god, oh god, no, no zzzz'. My hand is still bruised actually.
Mrsd- thank fully i haven't seen that thread. I tend to open the ones where it sounds like someone is going through a bad time as i identify with those and none of the happy ones unless of course it's a hard win. Very complex way of thinking!
Beware of a trailer for 'one baby every minute what happened next".
Lots of "it's amazing" and "what's the point of life if you don't have kids". Roy just shouted Fuck Off at the tv.
beryl that's fantastic news. So, so pleased for you. so hoping that the autumn run continues well into winter.
heart mellow how are you?
sar how are you feeling? You really have had such a shit time with being messed about with the information you have been given. They seem to have often given you worst case scenario with not so much to go on. I really hope that the lap gives you some proper answers and that it leaves you knowing where you're going, I'm sure it will. When I've had low points they have always centred around not being sure where I'm going with treatment. Hopefully a clear plan will help to keep you keep going. You are such a positive source here, I hope that you get this reflected back on you xx
madness good to hear from you again. Sorry to hear about what you've been going through.
artemis well done on the 13! Have everything crossed for you and well done for being so brave!
mrsd, joy and euro it almost seems poetic that you 3 are going to be cycle buddies. Mind you, 3 ironic BFPs would be even more so! Remind me, are you all doing short protocol?
doll glad that there is some movement with the eggs. Was Friday the only day Ken couldn't do? Will you have someone to take you?
Is homeland worth watching? Thinking of downloading for a long haul.
rabbit I cried when the girl on X factor said that her marriage broke down cos of infertility. Then she got booted off by Louis. It really scares the shite out of me! Sorry about the spotting.
pout thanks for asking re nephew. He's not great at mo. lost tons of weight and is struggling with the never ending nature of it. I'm so positive he will be ok in the long run but blimey the shit he's coping with.
I've had some brown bleeding today. Trying not to panic. Or google.
Hope all is well with*gin*, nelly, lemon et al xx
Ugh just saw the one born every minute what happened next ad where one woman says 'what's the point of life if you don't have kids?.' Let me just put my head in a bucket of water!!
artemis well done! Glad that bits over for you and fingers all double crossed tomorrow. Do men have to wash their knobs?!! why?!
joycep glad the appointment went well. I think January sounds a good plan.
mrsden don't start me on the vitamins again! the needle in hand isn't lovely. But they numbed my hand before with a little jab. Or maybe that was because I had a bigger canula thing for drips and morphine etc. who was talking about that the other day? I did love my hand held morphine pump. I almost cried when they took it away! But I bet you could ask for numbing.
doll I think I felt hurty because of the sheer injustice of it all. How the hell can an undernourished, homeless looking woman scoring drugs be pregnant and we aren't? Im sure she has her fair share of problems! but..I often feel its my fault, like I'm not taking the right supplements, thinking positively, eating the right green stuff etc. but it isn't that is it? And when my colleague was talking about infertility it just all felt so close to the bone I thought I was going to cry. I didn't though. I just felt the barreness.
Waving to everyone else. Ideas of what I should do with my 36th birthday (3rd birthday of trying!!) welcome. It is a weekend birthday and I get claustrophobic in crowds . I feel like all my friends have forgotten about me which is entirely egocentric of me but its the first day of my period so I'm allowed (this is what I told Hare anyway).
Artemis - thank you for your words on getting through the tough times. And I am so pleased to hear that EC went well and you are doing ok. 13 eggs is fantastic. A few non mature ones won't matter at all. But fingers and toes crossed for the phone call tomorrow that the fertilisation rate will be good. It's a bit nervy waiting for the phone to ring. But for now, rest and eat ice cream.
Thank you to Rabbit and Cosmos also for advice about waiting for the lap.
Gin - I am delighted to hear that the 3rd emby did so well and yes this gives great hope for the Gin twins. This could be it my lovely.
Becks and Beryl - both great story. Congratulations.
Joy - no way Hosay are your eggs fooked. Remember your fab FSH and decent follicle count. The 28 day cycle is brill. I am glad something is starting to go right. Also pleased that the first IVF appointment went well. Every little helps.
Pout - the cancer patient's who panic over their fertility more than anything else is heart wrenching but so telling of how awful awful this feeling is.
Doll - good luck for Friday. It CAN happen for you. I'm so sorry you have had a melt down. Not long now until EC and then things might feel a bit better.
Rabbit - hope the research meeting went well and the evil pains stayed away. Those stories are hurty. The divorce infertility story unfortunatley doesn't suprise me. A bit like the cancer patient story - it reflects the magnitude of devestation that fertility problems can cause. I don't know why some months feel like a BFP could happen more than others. I do believe women have deep 6th senses about thier bodies which we do not fully understand.
Shrivell - that's lovely news. Congratulations and well deserved. Thank you for giving us a hope story.
Den - thanks for that feedback. I feel so grateful to have you girls.
I'm still being a bit of an old misery. The hope, the joy, the fun times have been sucked away. I am not sure what is next for me. Unfortunatley I think my grand plan to develop and value the non ttc parts of my life is now back firing. My new boss is turning out to be a bit of an awkward cow and the not yet confirmed op date will go down like a lead balloon if it happens after I start there. Ah well. I will be ok. I had a nice reflexology session tonight which always helps. So pleased to see so may BFP's here. I agree, it does look like a different thread. There is also so much new hope for the current IVF's. And the January IVF's too. I am really really rooting for you all.
Hello to Euro, Buzz, Nellie and anyone else I have missed.
doll I didn't finish with all my me warblings! I'm glad the Beirut 3 are still going strong. I feel very fond of them and am cheering them on. art I just thought of your eggs too then, in their little dish getting it on with the spermz in the dark. I am thinking of another ladies eggs in real time. It's all gone a bit surreal!
That One born every minute comment - gross gross gross, bleugh bleugh. How much up their own arses are these arogant twaty twunts??!! But generally I agree with Roy!
Frannie - thank you for being lovely to me. I guess I am at a crossroads and losing hope. I am sorry to hear of the brown spotting but please don't panic sweetheart (easier said than done). I know heart had something similar and it is a common thing in some pregnancies. Can you get an early scan?
Rabbit - ooo birthday weekend you say? How about a weekend away with Hare in one of those pod or glamping things? Did you say you want to do stuff with freinds? I can recommend a pottery paint cafe afternoon - you can usually bring wine and stuff. Or maye hold a party at your place, murder mystery style.
Cross posts! joyce we must have watched that at the same time! I was shouting with Roy in unison.
frannie your poor old nephew. I'm sure the brown stuff is just nestling and hope you are ok.
sar oh crapbags that your new boss sounds battle axey. But you need to be selfish and it will all settle in and be ok very quickly. My research meeting was long and I've felt period bleugh. They do make me feel pants, washed out, yukky and gloomy. All I want to do is be on the sofa. I think periods have always felt like this but the implication of what they mean makes it feel like they are now worse maybe? I'm sorry you are in the tent. I did a long stint in there recently and then suddenly felt fairly ok again - so this will pass. I think you'll feel a lot better when some of the unknowns get a bit more clarity.
Just seen an add for the woman with 15 children. Let me just set that to record - NOT REALLY!!
sar friends are either pregnant or with toddlers which I'm fine with one to one but not en mass I don't think. So prob just me and Hare. Plus my birthday rather backs up to Xmas which makes it difficult, I'm not a Manc girl so friends are scattered far and wide. I'd love it if they could escape for the night but don't think that's on the cards. Also It would be amazing it if they came up with it rather than me having to ask - very much my moany mood speaking there, I'm not usually such a whinge! Love the idea of the pottery thing though, I really like that kind of thing. Not sure Hare would though! Maybe we could do a 10plus pottery making of fertility symbols!?
Yay 13 eggs artemis, that's great. I'm pleased to hear you got through it all ok. I have a hand bruise too from the cannula, oddly from the one that didn't hurt much going in. euro the idea of it in my elbow makes me feel slightly sick...
Oddly for a clinic that's all about mild ivf, create throw drugs at you after EC. I'm on clexane injections. I was going to refuse to take it (they fucking hurt & are just meant to improve womb blood flow), but they said I had to cos of the ohss risk. It thins the blood, so makes the ohss blood clots less likely. I took progesterone right from EC day (and as I mentioned, they'd appeared to have shoved one up my arse during EC!), antibiotics (more arse bullets) and amoxicillin to try to prevent the cystitis I had last time. They also put everyone on prednisolone (sp?) for immunes after EC, but I'm not, due to the high clexane dose I was on. Sooo many drugs, although the antibiotics have now finished.
Anyway arte I really hope your eggs are having a great party in the dish with mr a's sperms!
Aww sar, sorry you are still feeling miserable. Hugs.
doll at the Homeland hair thing! It confuses me too! Dave had to explain she was using a wig. Hmmm. Not long til Friday now. I take it you are triggering tomorrow?
frannie I'm sure brown stuff is fine and just old blood. Yes I saw the barren X factor girl Btw has anyone seen that bloody peaches galdof is preggers again and she was allegedly infertile. Grrr.
Ooo birthdayness rabbit. I decided to do things people with kids couldn't do.. Went for horribly expensive cocktails at the savoy with a friend and then to a 5* mitchelin starred inn with Dave. Not a single child in sight...
joy I'm pleased to hear the clinic went well. Did Roy go with you? Your story about yelling in theatre and then zzzing made me laugh out loud! They gave me something in the iv before the sedative to relax me, so I was too spaced out to shout!
mrsd bloody hell 4 ivfs. I couldn't do it! Dave hasn't drunk for some months. We went to enough clinic talks that went on about the affects on sperm, that he decided to give up. However he is someone who can't just have 1 or 2 drinks. It's nothing or 20!
Waves to everyone I've missed.
Not much to report here. Have a sore tummy, but think it's my swollen ovaries. Am also getting the odd womble grumble, esp in the evenings, which isn't a great sign. But generally I'm trying to keep busy and not think about it <hollow laugh>. I'm off work this week on leave, so doing some Xmas stuff. I could be in work but my job does have some physical elements and the commute would be tiring. I'd need a mind the swollen ovaries, give me a seat badge.
gin ignore womble grumbles, it could be all sorts of things, like burrowing. Clexane stings like a bastard! I had them after the op and fuck me! Exactly like a mean wasp sting I thought. Needle goes in, feels ok, then OW, slow burning sting. Yak. I feel for you. I refused to take them at home! Oh, I wonder if they'd have stopped the blood clotty thingy . I'm thinking of you. I'm liking posh meal cos maybe they wouldn't be rammed with Xmas parties?
rabbit did you have the
evil fuckers clexane in the stomach? I'm meant to do them there, but when Dave tried, it felt like someone was putting a knitting needle into my stomach! We're doing them in my thighs, but they still hurt. I think the needle must be quite fat, plus the drug stingy and bruise inducing. If I wasn't scared shitless of ohss, I'd stop them too.
Yay posh meal (and wine)! I'm sure the weekend would avoid Xmas dos. As would somewhere a bit off the beaten track. Mmm nice food.
Really Gin? I wasn't expecting that from Create. Well, they can hand me the prescriptions, but it doesn't mean I will be taking them.... <rebel>
Frannie, as a differ I hope you won't mind if I say your comment to dollmade me giggle. You said: "doll glad that there is some movement with the eggs. Was Friday the only day Ken couldn't do? Will you have someone to take you? " I think more is required from Ken on EC day than a taxi service. But maybe a taxi driver could help out if needed?
euro I have to admit that I've been pleased with Create this time. They rang whenever they said they would, did the ohss screening, discussed my case with the consultant in charge and kept us informed re the now frozen embryo. Dr gloom and doom didn't have the best bedside manner, but he was really careful re the ohss.
re the taxi driver. When we thought EC would end up on the one day Dave couldn't do, my parents offered to take me, until I pointed out that they couldn't provide the essential goods...
Right need to get off mumsnet!
Sorry doll. Hadn't really thought that through.
Hello gang! Gosh, I have missed a lot. Amazing news about all our hard won preggos on the thread now, gives me hope! Lovely news beryl and hang in there frannie. And hooray for the Beirut Three, Gordon and Sapphire, the Lucky 13, and all the other IVFers. Sorry not to catch up properly - you know how hard it is when you get out of the loop and it's overwhelming how much has happened.
mellow hope you've got your feet up - actually marmalade is something I have plenty of, as my dad makes his own and brings me pots of it in his suitcase when he visits
sar my lovely, sounds like you've had a rough few days - I wish I could say the right thing to comfort you. Your new boss sounds like a piece of work. Keep your chin up, you will get there.
gin amazing news about the gin twins and your little bonus frostie. I'm so pleased. And am sending powerful prayers your way for the little embies. I hope they are tucking themselves in nicely!
mrsd sorry you've been feeling blue. I will be joining you, joy, and euro on the January/February IVF bus, so expect lots of clammy paw holding
rabbit aw, I'm sorry about the hurtiness. LOVE that you have been doing home chemistry experiments with litmus paper! Brilliant, this thread never ceases to amaze and amuse
doll absolutely fantastic news about your eggs. I am crossing all fingers and toes for a Friday egg-fest! Can't believe it's so soon now, I'm really hoping with everything I've got for you.
rabbit I reckon posh cocktails somewhere children are not encouraged is a brilliant birthday idea. What else... you could go shooting a la euro? Or get a lovely massage, that's always a really nice birthday treat. When is the actual day?
Well I'm back after a blissful weekend at home, being spoilt rotten by my family - my dad cooked roast lamb (hard to get here for some reason, Americans don't go in for it) and I went to John Lewis with my mum and sister (heaven!) and poked around the haberdashery department, and saw two lovely close friends for what I term a 'power chat' where when you only have, say, half an hour to catch up, you forget the small talk and get straight stuck into talking about the big stuff - men, fertility, heartache, work etc etc. It was SO nice to be home for a bit.
hey, just quickly artemis gin sar I see I've been put in a meeting on Friday afternoon, my EC is Friday morning, it that cool or should I try to get out of it? It's all local to me, and I could organize to be ferried about (generally walk everywhere).
Euro, critter and joy - we can be a little new year ivf gang. I might try and sneak in a cycle in dec, but this might not be possible because of the holiday period.
Frannie, yes I think I'll be doing short protocol but the clinic will make the final decision after I have a scan. Your poor nephew, it's such an awful thing to go through. Teenage cancers have very good outcomes though, but the treatment is aggressive and it's a long slog. I'm wishing him strength.
Ugh, I'm glad I can't see that advert. I bet no one considered how insensitive that would be. Judging by the relentless pregnancy announcements, updates, scan photos, baby pics on fb people don't have much of a clue that these things can be painful for some of us. I think if you conceive easily, you can't imagine that it's any other way for others. Also, I think people totally underestimate how difficult infertility is.
Critter, oh roast lamb. I do miss that. Did you have roast potatoes, mint sauce and the works? I am very jealous.
I saw a pregnancy announcement complete with scan photo on fb this morning. It's from an ex colleague, someone I haven't seen in years and unlikely to see again. I should probably delete her. I know she got married the year before me so I had wondered if they might be struggling, but I dont think anyone would put up a scan photo with the comment look what we made if they had trouble would they?
Doll - consider getting out of that meeting. You could feel dandy after EC by the afternoon but most likely you will feel a little bit drowsy or achey. Or just very emotional.
Critter - Your weekend sounds great! You have made me reaslise all the lovely and simple things we have in the UK that I ought to enjoy more often.
Den - that scan pic sounds like it comes from smug instadiffers. Bloody hell, wish they would all bog off.
Ok thanks sar thought that might be the case. I'll see what I can do, bit of a pain as it's for a piece of work I just started and my line manager calling meeting.. I have a damn cold too, my boys have been snotty for weeks I can't believe I didn't get it before.
Just popping in quickly to say doll cancel your meeting! With the sedation, you're not allowed to be on your own for 24 hours and I had really terrible short term memory loss the day of EC (they gave me a big dose of it cos I was nervous!). I asked about 50 times how many eggs they got! I was also walkin like John Wayne, as I was pretty sore. The clinic specifically told me to do nothing that afternoon and it was mid afternoon by the time i got home, as they wanted to make sure the bleeding had stopped before they let me go. I prescribe crap tv, pjs and chocolate for your Friday afternoon!
just popping in Doll to back up what Sar and Gin have said. I would postpone the meeting unless it's life or death (and they rarely are). It took us ages to break out of the hospital to start with, they made me stay because my pulse rate didn't go back to normal for a while and then we had to wait for the embryologist and consultant to come and talk to us. I had to sign to say I would be in the company of a 'responsible adult' for the next 24 hours. I fell asleep in the car coming home and went straight to bed when I got in. Also had quite bad stomach cramps and stabby ovary pains, not surprising really, that fecking needle is about a foot long.
it's hard work taking time off when you freelance though. i told a few clients that I would be unavailable this week due to minor surgery. Cue lots of emails saying "Hope you're recovering well, please can you do this?" Good job I'm not actually properly ill. Am at my desk today, though not dealing with any calls/emails, my office is at home so I find it hard to sit in front of crap TV when I know the work isn't going to go away.
Sorry frannie - I just couldn't resist! I hope you are doing ok and that your nephew is too.
Good suggestion critter! rabbit I can highly recommend shooting clays as a great stress reliever (and it is rather more accessible than the distance target stuff I'm getting into). I've been on corporate days before, and I took my dad for his birthday this year. It was a lot of fun. With an instructor almost every beginner will hit something. And it is quite therapeutic!
Critter your weekend sounds lovely!
mrsd I have my consultant appointment at Create in mid December. If my cycles pan out as expected, two periods from now should take me to about 20th Jan and I would hope to start then. I can't believe my cycle is more regular than it has ever been and I still can't get blooming well diffed!
doll I second/third what the others have said. EC is minor surgery under sedation after all! I think you should arrange to take it easy afterwards.
I'm on about cd20 here. I'm desperately hoping that my period doesn't come before 22 Nov, as I have just booked in for a scuba refresher course on the 21st! I don't want to waste quality diving time on holiday d1cking about taking my mask on and off for the instructor and hopefully doing the refresher course at a good diving school here before I go will mean that they won't need me to! But I do want my period to come asap after that so I won't be attracking sharks on holiday! On our honeymoon, one morning we signed up for a snorkelling trip out at sea that afternoon. At lunchtime my period arrived. We both spent the whole time rather nervous, thinking of me as shark bait! We didn't see anything and then as we were getting off the boat back at shore, we saw a baby shark lurking in the shallows and wondered where mamma was....
Thanks for all the prompt interventions ladies. You are right Artemis freelance is tricky with this kind of stuff as are the endless fecking holidays here, it's a real pain, I loss so many days through lack of availability on the part of those who's jobs respect the holidays and due to the
baby prison nursery closing every five minutes. It's funny how respect of multiple religions appears all for a sudden when it comes to observing holidays, I lived in Bosina in the 90s, same deal. Think I have side-stepped the meeting though via a bit of craftiness.
Back again. Ken just called. He has someone organize his calendar so he blocked time for the EC. Until 11am, when he now has a meeting. The EC is at 9.30 FFS. Don't let this get in the way Ken will you? He has been told off and is now trying to fix that. oh frannie thanks for the giggle yesterday. Hope we don't have any nightmare jizz in a jar stories on Friday. I've never heard of a case of that not working out, god that would be a nightmare, right? The day he is not available is Monday which would be ET if I get that far, but I'll just go alone for that.
Rabbit snap at seeing that terrible trailer! Yuk. Sorry about AF.
Sar im so sorry to hear you are so down at the moment. Its relentless and so hard when you are in limbo land like this. You will get answers when you have your lap but the waiting and the hanging around is the worst part because you are constantly wondering and second guessing what its going to throw up. When you know what you are dealing with , you can hatch a plan. Also, i was told yesterday that my clinic likes to do hysteroscopys before ivf because they find that it helps implantation. Its something to do with the messing around up there. So hopefully once you have had the lap and everything , your next FET will have much more success. Im really sorry that your new boss is being awkward. That is an extra stress you dont need right now. Do you have a start date yet and do you have an exact date for your lap now?
Frannie i can imagine the spotting is terribly worrying but it can also be terribly normal. Have you thought about having an early scan to put your mind at rest? The EPU should be able to do that. Im sorry to hear about your nephew as well. What a worry for your whole family.
Gin that is interesting Create throw all those drugs at you. i thought it was all super mild. Clexane sounds horrible! Ignore the rumbles, your body is probably just settling down. Yes Roy managed to get out to our meeting yesterday. Its very difficult for him to juggle work and these appointments but Ive told him he will only be needed one more time on the day of EC and hes to concentrate on work and leave this to me. Yes i am such a scaredy cat and was ripping off my oxygen mask, sobbing and shouting in theatre. They worked very quickly to put me out asap! When i awoke i was like a drunken woman telling everyone how lovely they were. at the swollen ovaries badge. In fact there should be a im doing an ivf, whats your problem badge.
Critter im glad you had fun in the UK. Do you go to JL in Oxford street? Im always in there and sadly often in the baby department buying things for friends babies. But i also love the haberdashery department. Your dad sounds like a gem he makes marmalade , cooks lamb and looks after you so well..
Mrsd so if you do short protocol , how long does that take from start to finish/? Unfortunately i think i will be doing LP but they decide during my monitoring cycle. Ive been told it takes 6-7 weeks from the first monitoring scan to ET.
Euro very randomly my parents gave me a clay pigeon shooting lesson for my birthday. I cant think of a better way of releasing a bit of stress perhaps thats why they gave it to me. i hope your period arrives when you want it. i would hate to think of you as shark bait!
Doll organising the men is bloody annoying . im glad Ken is trying refix things.
Art i hope you get good news this pm about your embies. Thinking of you.
I started asking this ivf doc yesterday about what happens if my eggs are crap and blah de blah and he basically put me in my place and told me whats the point of thinking about that now. That shut me up.
Doll Ken obviously fancies himself as Mr Speedy then, with that schedule... I hope he manages to rearrange things.
joycep short protocol is done all within one cycle so basically you start at the beginning of you natural cycle, take drugs, have EC around the time you would have oved (allowing for things speeding up or slowing down a bit for the drugs) and then ET a few days later, the same as long protocol.
I think your dr was right. You just have to go into this open minded and give it a go. You can decide on next steps afterwards.
Making slow progress with work today so thought I'd pop in and try to catch up properly
Gin great news on the blasto in the freezer! Fingers crossed Gordon and Sapphire are bedding in nicely. Thanks for the info on the clexane, sounds nasty. It's odd that create are filling you with drugs at this point. I have to start using the progesterone pessaries from tomorrow but they haven't specified which hole to use - just told me to 'slot one in' after i've gone to bed (consultant's words ). I too am not fond of the idea of shoving things up my arse. I can't believe they did that without telling you! I want a 'mind the swollen ovaries' badge too. I do feel sore still. I guess it will take a while to wear off.
Pout I think you're right about resilience. Whatever happens to any of us on here I believe we will come through OK and be stronger for it. How are you doing with house hunting? Hope you can stay in the same area so it doesn't mess with your treatment, that kind of stress is not what you need.
Liking the positive stories, especially the ironic pre-IVF diffs, good to know it can happen. Beryl FX for your prog test, hope it sets your mind at rest.
Joy I second Euro and surprisingly enough your consultant, one step at a time is the only way i have been able to get through this. That is very much not like me but forcing myself not to think ahead has kept me sane!
Thinking about the new year IVF gang and fingers crossed for a series of 'fuck off to the universe' ironic diffs before then!
Sar I am sorry you still feel down. Big hand-hold and hug. The new boss will just have to live with whatever happens... they can't discriminate against you, especially as you were honest with them before you agreed to take the job.
Doll bugger about ken's meetings, I hope he can manage to re-arrange. If you go in on time he'll do his bit while you are under, so he would be able to get away, but you'd need someone else with you which is not ideal. Does his workplace know what's going on? Sounds like you have more than enough stress over there as it is without diary induced complications. Don't think about the numbers, you are as you are and it's all about quality. My numbers are OK so far but that just means I am finding other things to worry about, I guess that's just how it goes.
Rabbit on the knob-washing i can only imagine they must get some men in with dubious personal hygiene... Amused by the litmus test. How do you know how acidic it is meant to be? The female body is just too complex. It's sad about your colleague's daughter. FWIW I think infertility can make as well as break a relationship. I have a friend who remains child free after 10 years of failed treatment for repeat mc and who has one of the strongest relationships I know. She feels the infertility brought them closer. Non-kids things sounds like a good idea for your bday. Mine is coming up too, I am short on ideas, in fact mainly keeping my head down and hoping nobody remembers that next year is the big one
I promised a run-down on EC for those interested. If you're not you can skip the next couple of paras! We had to arrive at 8.15 for the op at 9.30. We got our own room with a bathroom - basic, but at least private - and had a succession of visitors - the nurse, who did a health questionnaire and my blood pressure, height and weight; the anaesthetist to talk me through the sedation process; and the consultant who was in charge of sucking out the eggs. I think I offended his professionalism by asking what would happen if things went wrong. There was a big list of disclaimers on the form... he raised an eyebrow and said "I'm not planning for anything to go wrong". I shut up, didn't want to piss him off . I signed various consent forms, put on my glamorous open-backed gown, got my hospital wrist band and they did multiple identity checks (which I was glad about - one of my paranoid nightmares is what if they label the eggs/sperm wrongly and I end up with a cuckoo baby?!) After a lot of waiting around the procedure itself was very quick. I had to walk down to theatre so had been advised to take a dressing gown to preserve my modesty, which is just as well or half a dozen random porters would have seen my bum. Once in theatre they did everything very fast. i found it very disorientating, there were about 3 nurses, the embryologist, the anaesthetist and the consultant all taking over my head while I tried to work out what was going on. But once they got the needle in the back of my hand and started pumping drugs in I didn't care. One thing I was grateful for is they waited until I was on my way out before the nurses positioned my legs so i didn't have to lie there in the stirrups feeling exposed and vulnerable while people did their jobs around me.
Next thing i remember is waking up... they wheeled me back to the room on a trolley and got me into bed where I dozed for a bit while I came round. After about 20 minutes they did my BP and left me some water, then after another 20 mins they did the BP again and brought a sandwich. I wasn't allowed to leave until I'd eaten and been for a wee. Actually we waited longer than that, first because my pulse was too low and then because we had to wait for the embryologist and consultant to come and tell us how many eggs we'd got. And that was about it - we left at about midday, tottered out to the car and home to bed. They were very brisk and professional throughout and I did feel confident that they knew what they were doing, even though it felt a bit like the IVF production line, but that has been true of this process since the start - i guess it's better to be treated by someone who does 30 egg collections a week than only occasionally.
So the embryologist rang this morning. 8 of the eggs have fertilised, of which 4 look good. So we wait... Friday looks the most likely date for ET, but she did mention holding over to Monday if any of them looks like meeting the criteria for blastos. That would be day 6, not day 5, but they don't work on sundays obvs... Anyway, as above: don't think about that yet Artemis <slaps own wrist>
Sorry for mega post. Funny how I can happily concentrate on writing a post on here but not on writing my report! Must be time for a break. I've discovered Green & Black's hot chocolate. For its protein content, obviously
Artemis thanks for the EC run down. I always find it helpful to know what to expect. I hope you are being well-looked after and enjoying that hot choc. I LOVE the Hotel Chocolat hot choc. They done with no milk powder in it so I can make a lacto-free version. And it is gorgeous.
8 fertilited eggs with 4 looking good is fab!
joy one step at a time! We'll be doing it around the same time, and will be able to have each other's support. sar put it really well with her 'go into it with an open heart' advice. It's all we can do. I did go to the JL on Oxford Street - I bought a table protector, one of those pads you put under a tablecloth but on top of the table. It's to muffle the sound in our kitchen as MrC says I crash about noisily "like a racoon in the trash" when I make breakfast in the morning.
euro I will be probably properly starting around the 20th Jan too! I'm going to Key West (yippee!) for a week, coming back on the 20th, but will be starting long protocol at the beginning of Jan, which I think for me will involve two or three weeks of the pill before downregging/stimming. So I guess it'll be EC in early Feb.
doll sorry about the stressful timings - it sounds like you both have pretty full-on jobs. I'm glad that your EC is just before a weekend - hopefully you will at least be able to recover a little then, well, as much as possible with a toddler!
mrsd yes, the works, apart from the mint sauce - we had it with a lovely tangy crab apple jelly (like a redcurrant jelly). My dad is a fab cook and he totally went all out. I felt very loved! Is lamb popular in Germany? It's funny the things that you don't realise are 'British' tastes until you are abroad. For example, it's really hard to find blackcurrants here <random> or taramasalata in the supermarket! Although both at the same time would be weird...
artemis and gin, I'm willing on your little embies.
sar it was lovely to be back. We went for a walk in Regents Park and the colours were so beautiful - Sunday was gorgeous weather, but even on Saturday and Monday there was that misty, bonfire smokey feel in the air, and it felt all atmospheric - never thought I would miss a British November!
xpost art thanks for that rundown, really helpful to know what to expect. And 8 fertilised eggs with 4 looking good is fantastic! I have heard of people getting preg with day 6 blastos, so I wouldn't worry about that - apparently if they are looking really good on day 5, they sometimes wait an extra day.
Thanks Critter, you've helped set my mind at rest. I've done some frantic googling and found a study that concluded there was no difference in success rates between day 5 and day 6 so will stop fretting. And we might not actually get to that point. As I keep telling other people, no sense in worrying about this stuff before it happens!
Glad you had a lovely time in That London, your dad sounds brilliant. I looove the JL haberdashery, can spend hours in there just drooling. at you acting like a racoon in trash! British November can be quite atmospheric can't it, except when it pisses it down
art the not worrying thing is easier said than done, but I do think in this case you really shouldn't worry, if you see what I mean! Your hormones are going haywire at the moment so just keep hanging in there and drinking the hot chocolate and trying to take it easy as much as possible. You are being an absolute champ.
Just wanted to say thank you for all the well wishing. You are such a supportive bunch of ladies
Also, congratulations artemis on the eggcellent <groan> result! 8 fertilised and 4 looking good sounds pretty amazing. Will be keeping everything crossed for you over the next few days And also for akuaba - will be thinking of you on Friday!
joy I was really touched that you had been thinking of me (in a not weird way) the other day! Its great news that your cycle was 28 days. Does that mean you have managed to lengthen your LP? Thanks for the warning about the One Born advert as if that programme isnt torture enough already!
Glad to hear you had such a nice trip back home, Critter. I, too, am a haberdashery fan (not least because I love getting the chance to use that word)
Well, I had my blood test done yesterday and got the results this morning. I think its all ok HCG 550 iu/l and progesterone 128.3 nmol/l. Trying to interpret the numbers, but I keep finding threads where people mention their results without giving the units so Im not really any the wiser. However, they recommended going back on Friday to re-test the HCG as that is supposed to double. So, Friday is the next target one day at a time
Waves to everyone!
I've just been catching up on the thread-wow-so much going on at the moment. Thought I'd pop my head in the door to say hi. I'm 35 weeks now and on maternity leave. I'm large, achey and ungainly! Still can't believe I'm pregnant you know, I'm not sure I will until a baby turns up
I think about the 10 plussers loads and miss you all. Reading through this latest thread has reminded me what an absolutely amazing, and hilarious, bunch of ladies you are. Too much to try and catch up on but just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world.
Kitty - lovely, good luck for the birth.
Art - great news! Those embryos are strong little dudes! "Come on the little arts, off to a flying start, grow, grow and don't let it go"
Joy - thank you for being there.
Beryl - that is a relief. Fingers crossed for the next results.
Hi to everyone, got to go now. x
Quick instapost as I have suddenly realised I am hungry indeed.
Wanted to say good news art! And wave to kitty you could never be ungainly! Excellent info on the ec. Though I'm not sure I could put myself in a gown again for love nor money. But that's a story for another day. Well done you.
Will catch up later I think or maybe tomorrow but handing out loves in all general directions.
My period is very different on aspirin. Has anyone else found this?!
Oh no! Hare is not home til later and I had the biggest empty womb wave ever, rang my dad and two friends and got answer phone every time and I'm just sat here feeling scared of my infertility!!! Note - I work with Hare so I'm never really on ky own. I used to live alone how have I got so wimpish? I don't want to be one of those 'my friend was trying for 90 years' stories
T'interweb is here, have no fear. Hugs.
oh rabbit - big big hug. That's why I turn on the tv to drown out the silence. Or put on some high energy music, that often cures my empty womb fears.
Kitty - oh my that seems to have gone quickly. Best of luck for the birth of your little one. Really great news!!
Beryl - that's fab about your blood test results. hurrah. And i hope these weeks speed by for you.. oh no, i haven't managed to lengthen my LP but i think that was a red herring!
Art - the EC countdown is really helpful. SOunds pretty intense. And yay to your embies doing so well. Also that's really great advice about taking every day as it comes. I will certianly have to learn to do this.
Critter - one step at a time indeed. I expect AF will arrive on about 6th Jan and so i start my monitoring cycle then. I'm not sure if that's the month i start downregging but i will be given the nasal spray.
Big hug to Sar.
RIght time for fishcakes for dinner. Spent all eve reading through all the documents i was given yesterday.
Rabbit we're here. I used to live on my own too but it's weird how quickly you get used to having other people around. Your time will come. Hugs and , or even
Thanks doll I feel very infertile at the moment. It's funny I had a meeting with three other colleagues today. All a fair bit older than me and none of us had kids. I felt comfy in their company like we all were there in good work positions but without kids. One tried and couldnt. One wasn't in a relationship at the right time, one never wanted babies. But I didnt feel.. lesser? But Hare is home. I've apologised for being a pmt moo. Work has been v stressy indeed today. 18 year olds are Hard Work. I need to go and do woo or something. Thank you so much. Tumble womb moment over.
Thanks joycep and art I was all a bit fragile. Made in Chelsea is terrible but I watched like this and forgot temporarily about my coddled eggs.
Hi ladies. Quick hug for Rabbit first. I hate those tumblewomb moments and I'm sorry no one answered their phones. Hooray for the Internet though, is on hand too.
Art your EC chat was very helpful though in the spirit of taking it slow I am refusing to think past Friday which will be my first scan since starting drugs. I'm slightly nervous about that, fingers crossed something is happening. I can feel the tiniest of rumblings but no swinging ovaries yet. Is injection 4 too early? Hooray for your embies, those are numbers of my dreams!
Joy and others I'm glad there is a group of you all IVF-ing together. It is giving me comfort knowing Gin and Doll and Art are just ahead of me.
Anyway today has been manic so just saying hi. Injections have been totally fine and other than being tired I've had no side effects so far. I hope that's not tempting fate though . Better go do some wedding stuff now.
Evening everyone. You've all been talkative today!
at euro shark bait. I have rather unfortunate but funny mental images of that.....
So exciting for those of you going for ivf in the new year. I'm
failing miserably trying not to get my hopes up for a possible bfp post endo surgery. Perhaps I shall join you all in ironic pre ivf diffs. This of course all rests on at least one tube remaining after they have at me with sharp implements
critter art and joycep I too love jl haberdashery and am now obsessed with all things fabric. Went out and bought far too much woodland inspired retro stuff for my latest quilting project. A bit masochistic though making all this stuff for other people's babies. I like to think that I'm just honing my technique for when I get to kit out my own nursery
art I have that fear of mixed up eggs and sperm too. Nice to hear that you were reassured during EC. Just yesterday I imagined a ridiculous scenario where I gave birth to a baby who was obviously Chinese and they said sorry and took it away to give to the right parents!!!! TTC has definitely addled my brain!
Glad hare is home rabbit. It's all about riding the hormonal waves I reckon and knowing that the panic will subside. I've gone for weeks at a time being quite normal before temporarily switching into wailing banshee mode
Hello to everyone else that I've missed!!
I haven't read this page of posts, but am just popping on quickly to share a link from another thread:
A new study indicates 80% !!! of unexplained infertility is due to sperm DNA damage.
I thought this might be of interest to joy and a few others. This was one of the tests we were contemplating through Gorgy. I think we should go ahead now!
Euro - I presume this test is the DNA fragmentation test? 80% is a huge number. I got Roy to do this one so we could rule that problem out and his were normal. Definitely worth doing and I told Roy before we got results that we werent to panic if the results were bad because there is a lot you can do to improve sperm DNA. Often it's an infection.
Madness - your Chinese baby story made me laugh!
Nelly - I am pleased you are feeling fine on the injections and great you're so busy you dont have time to think.
Rabbit - hope you are feeling better now hare is back. Caught that bloody trailer twice tonight - tv went on to silent.
Rabbit - o my gosh. So sorry for the awful lonely womb feelings. And to make matters worse, nobody answered the phone. I hope this feeling passes quickly for you. I very very much understand where you are coming from.
Nelly - hooray for the injections and will be thinking of you at the scan.
Euro - thanks for the link. It is great to see some serious research and ideas to help people with the unknown diagnosis. And Joy, great to know so much can be done about sperm DNA.
Gin - how are you feeling? I have such optomism for you.
It's half one in the morning and I can't sleep. Clearly the stimulation of looking at the computer will no doubt help me fall in to the land of nod . But I do have a milky hot chocolate to try and send me off. My head is spinning - but nothing really wrong. I handed my notice in today (yesterday). This is a big thing I guess. My op date is still not sorted partly due to the secretary been off sick - just bad luck really. My stomach is going growly and grumbly crazy. It has been all throughtout this cycle - I think my bowels are a bit upset. I can't poo and have a very rounded tummy -not usual for me. What's good for that - mint tea?
My dad gave me a big hug today. I know him well - it was meant in a "I am devestated for you" kind of way. Funnily enough, deep pity from others (those in my inner circle) is working for me right now. It makes me feel that my feelings of sadness and despair are being validated. I have been thread hogging just lately so please don't reply, it's just a touch of the TTC blues that hits us all from time to time and I find it therapeutic to write it down. On reflection I found the 6 month and 18 month points the hardest - and now I am at 30 months. I wonder if there is a pattern to this. But this too shall pass.
Goodnight everyone, hope you are having peaceful dreams.
Hi sar. I too am having problems sleeping. I keep needing to wee and it's massively annoying. Could do with some kind of chamber pot! I'd recommend weetabix or lots of lentils for your poo problems. I have the opposite issue, caused by the suppositories I think. My body seems determined to spend most of the time on the loo!
I too have found certain points really hard - 2 year was a bad time for me. Like you say, you know you'll get through it, but it's still shit at the time. You have lots of stressful things going on at the moment and it's bound to take its toll. Just think, in a few months you'll be all settled into your new role and hopefully have some answers from your op. And you totally aren't Fred hogging. That's what we're here for! Big hugs love. I do really feel for you.
euro interesting article, but I wish it said what they could do to fix/deal with it! The dr thinks Dave's sperms have this issue, but I can't see what we can do about it. joy can I ask how much the test was? At my clinic it's v expensive and seems a bit pointless if we can't fix it.
madness your quilts sound lovely! I was in JL yesterday, fawning over ready made stuff in the soft linens dept. The best thing about getting married was all the JL vouchers we got! Shallow, me ?
nelly pleased to hear you are feeling ok. at swinging ovaries! It did feel like I had some testicles! In fact, every time Dave prodded me in the stomach, I threatened to punch him in the balls! I'm sure all is going well. The first ivf cycle, I had no symptoms until the very end.
rabbit hope you are feeling better. When I'm alone, I have to make sure I keep busy. Thankfully Dave no longer works weekends - it was too easy to spend then wollowing in ttc grief/ googling.
joy do you know what they do in the monitoring cycle? Does it involve lots of scans and blood tests? I think it's a great idea. I 'd love to know exactly what's going on.
doll hope you are doing ok? Have you had any more scans? I guess you triggered last night if EC is on Friday? I was seriously worried about Dave producing the goods on the day (we've had some performance issues in the past, ahem), but he did us proud. He didn't like walking past my mum in the waiting room though on the way to the masterbatorium. Suck it up Dave, suck it up!
kitty lovely to hear from you. I can't believe you are almost due!
beryl yay for good results!
critter your trip sounds lovely! M&S and JL are things I couldn't do without. Oh and primark. I'm right classy...
artemis that's a great no. fertilised! Will they give you regular updates on their progress? Sounds v much like you should end up with something to freeze. I'm jealous of your private room. At create, it's just one room, divided by curtains, with these reclining wheely chair things, which they bring you out of the theatre on. And god awful piped musac. Don't work too hard! You must give yourself time to recover.
Waves to everyone else.
Nothing to report here. I'm trying not to mental and keep busy, but veer between being convinced it's not worked to being hopeful. The fact one went to blast had given me some
false hope. I'd much rather be not hopeful and then surprised if it does work. I'm v bruised at the mo - look like I've gone a few rounds with David Hayes! They're from the cannula, blood tests and evil clexane. Thank god it's winter so I can keep covered up.
Interesting research euro. Although I did get more sceptical when I read that they'd developed their own test which they have patented and will no doubt make money from. But, I have always thought that more unexplained are probably due to male factor. Standard fertility tests only include the one test for the man, and the the assumption is made that all is ok after that. I think there is much we don't know. It's why ivf and icsi is often the only choice for unexplained at the end of the day. In some ways I'm pleased that we have a definite diagnosis of crap sperm because at least I've had time to accept that icsi is what we need and were not messing about with iui, or even standard ivf. At ths stage, I just want to do what is most likely to result in a baby.
Gin, how are you and the twins? I'm feeling very hopeful for you.
Art, that sounds like very good progress. I don't think there is much difference between day 5 and 6.
Sar, don't ever worry about thread hogging. You've given us all so much advice over the months. What you are feeling is so understandable. I also felt very down at 6, 12 and 18 months. My moods are very related to where in he cycle I am too. Pre ovulation I feel fine witH it all. But from 5 dpo I crash until af arrives. I'm in tHe post phase now and feel so fed up with it all. A pregnant friend rang for a chat last night and it was basically a monologue of how hard everything is for her, blah blah, I wanted to scream "but you're pregnant, you don't know how bloody lucky you are" instead I offered copious amounts of sympathy.
Those of you who have told friends about ttc, have you found its given you much support? I have been contemplating confiding in some friends but I wonder whether they might actually annoy me in their response because they won't really understand.
Hello mrsd. I picked who I told very carefully and their support has been invaluable. I've basically told only my closest friends and family. There has been the odd slightly insensitive comment and I've had to tell 1 friend to stop talking about it on the odd occasion (it's ALL she wants to talk about!), but this is outweighed by the support and understanding I've had from them. This week I've had flowers and chocs from both my brother and one of my best friends. So so lovely. Also, through telling people, we've discovered dave's best mate & misses who live abroad are having ivf. In fact it's their 2nd round too and they had EC the day before me! We've had some amazing Skype chats over the last few weeks and it 's been great to be able to talk about it with people who understand.
I would suggest picking who you tell carefully though. Dave announced it to a whole group of boys in the pub (as a way of explaining his not drinking). I'm now scared they or their other halves are going to want to talk to me about it and I don't want to discuss it with them. I do live in fear of them asking me about it on a night out...
Sorry for the waffle! Hope that helps.
sar - you are not thread hogging and this is exactly why we are here so you can write things down when things are getting on top of you. I hope you managed to get to sleep. I hate those nights where you just lie awake thinking over things. It's annoying that you haven't got your date yet but hopefully it will come soon. how was your current work about handing in your notice?
Gin - the wait must be tortuous. Not long now though. Ok so that sperm DNA test Euro sent the link to can't be same as the DNA frag test as i don't think that is a patented test. it all sounds quite similar. Anyway we had to pay £300 for the dna frag test. Everything is just so f'ing expensive. And you're right gin, it's pointless if they can't fix it. I think if the man's SA suggests everything is fairly good but you're still unexplained then it is a good thing to look at because i have seen from other posters on MN and FF that sperm dna frag can be improved considerbly using antibiotics...But that's for men who's SA is normal. I can't work out what the difference is with this new test is though.
Oh and i hate it when these tests are patented because it just adds to the difficulty of trying to find out what is wrong when you have all sorts of different companies looking in to different things,
Mrsden - most people know our situation. I have to say, friends are good and ask how it is going but in reality they have no experience or understanding. But on the whole they have sympathetic ear but also i haven't had to endure people really going on about their pregnancies like you have to because they know to be sensitive. I feel guilty talking to friends who are single. And I often feel like i am boring people by going on about it. I have decided i am not going to tell friends or parents when we are starting ivf. We are going to keep that quiet as I just want to deal with that quietly and alone.
Here is more information on that test, I'm not sure if it's what you had doe or not joy. http://www.lewisfertilitytesting.com/the-spermcomet-test
Thants good that your friends have been supportive and sensitive joy & gin. I think my fear is that they will pity me, and I couldn't cope with that. Also, we can still pretend we're normal at the minute which sometimes feels quite nice. I do think people would stop banging on about their pregnancies and babies though if they knew. We're naturally a quite private couple and I don't think either of us would want to talk about it all or the time or have people constantly asking for updates.
rabbit I hope you are feeling better today.
I hope the artemis embies are coming along well!
sarlat mint tea might help. I always find walking or jogging helps - I think the gravity just shakes everything down to wear it should be if my body is struggling with that. Go for a walk somewhere without many people around so you can, ahem, parp, if it is all wind!
Gin I think Gorgy quoted me around £350 for the test from memory, so not that bad. But then you might need other tests to discover the cause of the wonky DNA if there is a problem. We were talking about this last night and decided that when my period comes we will go ahead with the Greek tests for infection and perhaps this too. (BTW, could you choose another phrase other than "suck it up" when discussing the masterbatorium? )
mrsd my friends have for the most part been enormously sympathetic and helpful. Some have had problems of their own (infertility, miscarraiges, etc) and I think we all found it cathartic to share). I do get a few "relax and it'll happen" comments from my instadiffer friend, but 90% of the time she is also supportive. Some of the people I have told have been having problems too, but hadn't mentioned it until I did. Once it was out in the open, we could talk about and exchange info in the same way we do on here, which I think has been helpful. I have used some discretion about who I have told though.
There was already a test for DNA fragmentation (e.g. the one used by Gorgy), but I think the samples were sent to the US. If for some reason the owner of the US patent wouldn't license it over here (or only for an extortionate price) I guess the researchers had to come up with something new. But I completely take your point about being a bit sceptical wherever money is involved.
Euro interesting stuff on the sperm DNA, thanks for sharing. There is a lot about both egg and sperm quality that they still don't know. joy what are the things they recommend to improve sperm quality, other than the no caffeine/ no booze/ lots of vits regime - does that actually make a difference to DNA? I need to get Mr A's results from the clinic to compare with the previous ones and see if his months of enforced
I'm such a bitch abstinence from all the things he likes have actually made a difference.
Nelly I didn't feel anything on the stimming drugs until the last couple of days when my lower stomach started to feel really heavy and uncomfortable and I got stabby ov type pains. Gin is absolutely right, it feels like having a big pair of kahunas swinging around in your lower abdomen! How was the scan?
Doll how are you? Hope you did the trigger shot OK. Did Ken get his meeting sorted for tomorrow? Will be thinking about you tomorrow - you too Beryl, fx for the next blood test.
Kitty lovely of you to pop in. Can't believe you are 35 weeks! I completely understand what you mean about still not really believing you are pregnant
Mrsden good on you for giving the preggers friend sympathy. I'm not sure I'd be so kind! I have been very careful who I told. Only three friends know about the IVF and have been brilliant, but they all have personal circumstances that made it more likely they would be understanding, iyswim. Last year I did tell two other friends (both have kids) that we were having problems and was met with embarrassed silence. Needless to say I have not said anything else to either of them.
Sar I'm sorry you're still in the tent. Strong coffee is good for constipation, and abdominal massage, otherwise as Euro suggests going for a run does seem to shake things down! It's not surprising you are under stress though - handing in your notice is a big deal, and the clinic's uncertainty over the op date won't be helping. Are you having some time off over xmas before you start the new job? A bit of time for R&R sounds necessary. Hugs. And you are not hogging the thread!
Gin hang in there. I can totally relate to the alternate moods of hope and despair.
I'm a bit glum today after this morning's call from the embryologist. We didn't make the grade to go to blastocyst stage so i am going in for ET tomorrow morning. The 8 embies are still going and at various stages but most are grade 2-3, and we would have needed at least 4 at grade 2 to go to blastocyst. The embryologist said she didn't want to risk waiting which I can't help but see it as a bad sign. At the risk of outing myself, tomorrow is also my birthday. Mr A has pointed out that it will be the best birthday present ever if it works but I can't think beyond the unpleasantness of the procedure - I am the kind of wimp who has fainted after a smear on several occasions. Still, it won't be the worst birthday I have ever had . November is often a shitty month. I am thinking of abandoning it and instead having an official birthday in the summer, like the Queen.
I really want a big glass of . It doesn't help that since EC Mr A has adopted the lifestyle of a French intellectual - strong coffees, wine and little glasses of beer.
he'd better not have taken up the gauloises too or I will fecking kill him
Sorry ladies. I will pick myself up. It's the total sense of helplessness that is so hard - I know you will all relate to that
Art hang in there. I think it's rarer to go to blast than not (does that make grammatical sense even?) and the main thing is they are developing!! One day at a time remember. My scan isn't until tomorrow but I will let you know how it goes
unless I'm sobbing into my steering wheel as its rubbish news
Banging headache today. Probably due to hormones but trying to ignore it. That's not really working though, so thinking about moving on to actual painkillers .
We've told a couple of friends, who have been ok but in a "thinking of you" kind of way. They have their babies and don't understand. My sister is my rock as she's been there before. No other family know. Thank god.
Mrsd this sounds warped but im not sure i mind being pitied. I have one friend who i told about my hsg and op and her response is always well its great prep for childbirth and try giving birth and then youll know what pain is etc etc. She didnt get it and i think i would have preferred a recognition or understanding that its also tough going through infertility. What I do hate though is knowing that others discuss us with their friends and family. So you go to an event and you know that these people who arent your friends know about our situation. I do feel that we are a source of gossip and that just makes me feel like a failure. If im being honest i think i have used my m/c as a kind of defence against feeling like a failure. People are more likely to feel sorry for you than they are if you just cant conceive so if people ask i always say well i did get pregnant...its like an excuse for my infertility. Sorry if thats all non sensical.
Anyway i understand wanting to be private and not wanting to discuss things. Its terribly personal. And one of my biggest problems is im going to have to tell my CEO of my company that im doing ivf> i just cannot bear the thought of basically announcing i want a baby. it also tells them youre trying, you want materntity leave, your priority is wanting kids etc etc. I just wish i could turn round one day and announce it all like a normal couple, im pregnant, ill be leaving in 5 months on maternity leave so suck on that
Art i thought it was rare to go to blastocyst stage. It certainly points to that on the ivf docs i was given. Day 2-3 is perfectly acceptable and was always the normal way for ivf before blasto was introduced recently. I know blasto is the ideal but you still have a perfectly good chance having ET tomorrow. And its great they are still going. It sounds like you will get some frozen ones??
i was told off by the andrologists for giving Roy vitamins. I give him a pre-conception tablet and then extra zinc. But extra zinc can do damage. So apparently always discuss with someone about what vits used. I think it depends on the cause of bad dna as to what you do. Antibiotics definitely help lots of people. Laptops on the balls are terrible for dna so avoid that but im not sure what else helps.
Nelly sorry about your headache. Good luck at your scan tomorrow.
Just had my post op meeting with the consultant and that was fine. She is referring me to UCH for ivf. I get one round and one FET which i am immensely grateful for. Oh and Ivf definitely wont speed up menopause (i asked about that old chestnut) ivf can only happen because our bodies do most the work for us apparently. And when they extract all those eggs, you arent wasting precious eggs. She did explain it but i cant!
sar so sorry that you had a wobble last night. I hate the thought of you being wakeful and sad. I wish I'd checked MN in the evening as at 2am your time I was still up and would have been available for handholding! Now, the uncomfortable tummy thing - didn't you have an unusual cycle this time? Could the bloating have something to do with being post ovulation - how many dpo are you? You've had a truly shit time of it but I can't help but think you will get there in the end. As mrsd said, the IVF odds are that you will get there eventually - it's just a long and crappy road. You have a plan, with this op coming up, and things can only get better from this low.
art I agree with the others - I think day 3 transfer is more common - and lots of women get pregnant from it. I do think you can't overestimate how much the chemicals and hormones racing around your body are probably affecting you right now. I know it's hard to remember while in the middle of it all. You just have to hang in there. This is incredibly tough and you are coping with the stress of it fantastically. Happy birthday for tomorrow, and MrA is right, if it works it will be an amazing birthday present. Must be a good sign, surely?
madness you make quilts? You are my hero, I love quilts - we have a gorgeous one that MrC's uncle's exwife (complicated I know) made us for our wedding, and it's one of my prized possessions because it isn't just beautiful, but handmade. I also have a quilt my mum made me when I was a little girl, somewhere, which is much simpler, but which I also treasure. You are a brave woman to be making them for other people's babies but your baby, when it arrives, is going to be a lucky little chick indeed!
joy interesting about your meeting with the consultant. I know what you mean about work - I am very indiscreet (what Americans call an 'oversharer' and my colleagues (apart from my boss) know about my TTC woes. It should be pretty obvious, as I left a job which was bizarre hours for my current more settled 9-5 one, in a 'lateral' career move (ie not for a payrise) right around the age when women usually think about children.
nelly so sorry about the awful headache - I am sure it is hormonal. I have had some shockers this year and I feel your pain. Is there an IVF approved painkiller you can take?
gin I am thinking of you during this wait - hope you're ok. Sending positive thoughts to the gin twins!
mrsd I have shared my infertility woes with a lot of people but I am the kind of person who yaks about personal stuff. I've only once regretted it, with a person who I didn't know that well who then brought it up in front of other people that I'd just met. But I really think it's a personal thing, IYSWIM. I think joy's advice of not telling people about IVF is a good one, although I have already boobed in that regard.
beryl good luck for tomorrow's blood test.
kitty wow, I remember you from the winter, when I was a lurker - great that you are so close now!
euro very interesting about the DNA fragmentation thing. I love the shark bait story - when do you head off for your hols?
On the job thing - I was told recently by a colleague that my boss's boss was eyeing my job and whether it was necessary. My work insurance will pay for IVF, something that's fairly unusual here, and also pays for MrC's health insurance as he is freelance. It also provides better maternity benefits than many other employers here (although it's not as good as a British employer). Oh well, I'm sure it will all work out eventually, one way or another. One step at a time, there are only so many things I can worry about!
I have just lost a massive post. I don't know whether it is just our PC but when trying to post the virus software is asking about giving permission to the MN site to submit our PayPal details. Just wanted you to be aware, prob nothing.
artemis I must admit that isn't my idea of a birthday treat but that said MrA is right that it could turn into the best birthday ever. I will be thinking of you and Happy Birthday!
rabbit I am sorry that you were feeling rubbish. CD1 is a hard day! I too had a tumblewomb day yesterday. I got my pre-period headache and just felt so sad. It's not that I was sad about the lack of BFP just anxious that each failure is making me more certain that there must be something wrong. I guess that I am just so bloody fed up.
sarlat I am sorry that you too are down. I totally understand the wanting to wallow in people's sympathy. I feel like shouting at my landlord how they have jeopardised my IVF treatment [nutjob smiley]
Anyway I hope that you feel better and have a better nights sleep tonight.
kitty it is lovely to hear from you. My goodness how time flies. Will you let us know what variety of baby the stork brings you?
euro that research is interesting though makes me pissed of yet again at how little testing is actually done on the NHS. I wonder why they can't at least subsidise these kinds of tests the way they do the AMH.
MrsD The telling people thing is a dilemma. I wish I had told nobody largely because of mother dear making it her business to inform EVERYONE. My sister was, until recently a great source of support, but I get the feeling lately that she is fed up of it and I ought to 'be over it'. Being told that I am stressing too much over small things really pissed me off actually...I should have asked what small things exactly but was just too shocked.
joycep When will your treatment start? Is it NHS? I am so glad that you asked the question about IVF hurtling you further towards the menopause and egg depletion. I was wondering that myself!
gin how are you doing? It must be such a tortuous wait. It is good though that MrG is there to distract you.
Well as I mentioned up-post my period is a definite and I am feeling really peed off about it. I think that secretly I had hoped for a surprise BFP to take the sting out of all the other shit going on! It has only just hit me that we will be homeless the week after Christmas and that the run up to Christmas will be a pretty horrific time to house hunt. I am also a bit bemused as to how my family expect me to host Christmas with all this going on????!!!!
Waves to Critter, Nelly ,Doll, Madness, Lemons. BTW where are you lemons ?
Oh big post planned but it's not going to happen. There where a bunch of things in yesterday's posts I wanted to talk about but I can't remember off the top of my head now. Gin a wig, Dave says. Oh really? I have a bunch of questions for Dave, for a start when did the CIA stop bothering about encrypted phone lines and start using Skpye to talk about 'top secret missions'? The Beirut stuff has been a lot of fun watching, I'm kind of amazed how bad it is. The street where they tried to get the bad guys, is very close to where I live, though not a ye old worlde Arabe souq complete with stone houses and dudes in turbans, more 1970s buildings with folk drinking StarBucks and popping in to Mothercare.
nelly sorry about your head, take some painkillers if you need them. I've had a horrid cold all week. Great timing. I'm all set for the EC tomorrow, Ken will get the meeting moved, he just didn't think the timing through. Nobody knows we are doing this but he has the advantage of being the big boss at his work place so he can just boss someone to change it for him. joy I'm glad your meeting went well, and sorry for all the other people I've missed over the page. Thanks for the DNA stuff euro i see that the link on that page says they, the test inventors, advise a jump to ICSI with poor results from this test.
artemis loving that you have a dude with a string of onions around his neck speaking the devils tongue living in your home. Wishing you a very happy and lucky birthday ET. I'm looking forward to writing up a EC report (like what you did). Just because Hezbollah are running my cycle doesn't mean I should miss out on the fun, right?
X- post pout I think lemon went on holiday. It does seem a while back though.
They expect you to host Christmas pout ? You poor thing.
Critter hols are in just a couple of weeks - I cannot wait!
pout that is an awful lot going on at once. Can someone else host Xmas? Or can you all go out for lunch at least?
doll I am very much looking forward to the Hezbollah EC report. Maybe they will wrap each swimmer in a mini dishdash and then post a video on the internet in which they hold the egg hostage? <flippant and vastly inaccurate>
Art is ousnds like the embies are doing well. Don't be downhearted!
Nelly I think paracetemol is fine if you need something, but ibruprofen can delay ovulation so is probably not ideal in the circs!
Thanks all for the reassurance on the embies. I have wasted too much time googling today but found plenty of success stories with less than perfect embryos which made me feel a bit better. It seems that embryo grading is an inexact science - as with sperm, looking at an embryo down a microscope doesn't tell you much about the quality. A few weeks back I was panicking that we wouldn't get any at all so i should just shut up about it
Pout you are supposed to host your family for Christmas? Seriously? Tell them to bugger off! Or ask them which flavour Findus Crispy Pancakes they fancy. That should do it. Christmas is only a 'small thing', after all
Joycep I know what you mean about the mc and sympathy factor. It seems an mc is a recognised reason for sympathy whereas infertility is just something you should take in your stride. I don't understand people's lack of empathy. I probably should do by now, but I don't.
Critter thanks for reminding me that I am pumped full of fake hormones. I had forgotten . I hope things are OK with your job - that's an anxiety you really don't need. Employers really know how to put the boot in don't they!
Nelly the consultant told me that paracetamol is OK but to avoid aspirin and ibuprofen. Though I can't tell you why!
Akuaba if only Mr A was spouting philosophy at me... but no, the resemblance begins and ends with booze. Can't blame him. That's what I'll be doing if this thing doesn't work out. CIA down your street? blimey, that sounds like more excitement than strictly necessary. Though I'm guessing it wasn't like in the movies with Daniel Craig free-running over your rooftops (shame).
I should try to make some headway with my report. Concentration is shot today, just for a change. And make it to the polling booth... I haven't the faintest idea what this police & crime commissioner bobbins is all about & candidate statements just seem to contain the usual meaningless electioneering waffle but feel the need to do my democratic duty anyway
euro flippant is my middle name, we have Homeland for vastly inaccurate but all contributions welcome
Well I was just coming on to thank Doll for persuading me to take the drugs. Hurrah, headache gone. Though I took ibuprofen so should perhaps have read Euros post first . Still only one 200mg and paracetamol rarely touches the sides so chances are I'd still have had the dead ache. Headache even . My clinic told me ibuprofen was fine, but I think they really on clinical studies. Which is fair enough but I guess we know studies aren't always complete. My acu mentioned by the way that post ET it is very important to chill out and do very little. As did my hypno. I have argued with both that the hobbles won't clean out their own stables and that enforced relaxation isn't my thing. But thought I would mention as there was some earlier chat on it. Unless that was on a different thread . Anyway apparently there is "proof" that it makes a difference.
I have decided that if we do this again (which I think I will if it doesn't work) I won't do the woo as the cost and stress of getting to appointments is rather counter productive.
Sar lovely how are you feeling. I proffer Nigellas breakfast bars into the tent, which are lovely if not as soul restoring as chocolate brownies. But they are all I have for now. Talking of which (sort of), MrN bought me grapetise and poured it into a wine glass the other night but did at least warn me in advance so I wasn't disappointed. Anyway others have posted wise words and the uncertainty is always so hard to deal with.
Good luck for tomorrow Doll.
Critter your UK trip sounded fun. I may have to ask you to be a post office for me as I've seen a bracelet I like on a US website. For the wedding, you see . Would that be too cheeky??!
Gin how are you doing? Keeping everything crossed for you.
Pout sorry for all the woes and no consolation BFP. I do wonder sometimes what I did wrong to deserve infertility. But I remind myself, as we've talked about on here, at least we have our lovely
when they aren't being total twunts men and are therefore in the game. Other times like possibly earlier today I burst into tears because it JUST WON'T STOP RAINING . Definitely not hormones.
Where is Teu hiding?
Oh forgot to say hello to Kitty, can't believe you are about to pop. And Beryl so far so good. Haven't seen MissMedusa for a while, is she taking a MN break?
Rabbit how are you today?
Who else have I missed. Can you tell I'm WFH and avoiding any actual work. Phone post though so sorry for inevitable screw ups .
art this time last year Hezbollah broke the CIA spy ring in Beirut in a Pizza Hut following messages they had tracked arranging the meeting place, naturally the CIA code work for the meet was 'pizza' I shit you not.
I took an ibuprofen today no other painkillers in the flat. Well, now I know to avoid. Oops.
Sorry nelly I have heard ibuprofen it not a great match to TTC but seriously I didn't think with a body hijacked with all this shit it would make any difference.
Cross post Art. Aaah why can't we all get the same story on something as simple as painkillers. It's not rocket science. Just, you know, regular science.
Also I should fess up MrN and I had sex on Sunday and Monday. Day 1 and 2. Someone better tell me why that's bad? I had wine on Friday and Monday too. Oh dear.
Good news though that Googling has for once reassured you. The EEVA I mentioned before is I think meant to help with Embryo selection. Essentially they watch it develop over time rather than just once a day through a microscope, which apparently means they can tell if it is behaving normally, and apparently improves success rates. The cynic in me says that they will tell me they are all duff. Like the AMH-I-wish-I'd-never-had, I don't think I want to know. However I will ask about it tomorrow if there are any follies to count.
Doll am disappointed Homeland is inaccurate. . Are you managing to enjoy it despite that?
I knew TTC and ibuprofen weren't a great match generally, but didn't think it would impact me at follie growing stage. Who knows though . Still done now and I feel better for it.
nelly I'd be delighted to be a post office for you! PM me and we can swap addresses so that we get the bracelet over to you in time for the big day. Grapetise sounds lovely - that's sweet of Mr N even if it isn't as good as the real thing!
euro dishdash, what a fun word to say I googled it and apparently in Oman it's 'dishdasha', which is also satisfying. It's as good as 'haberdashery'!
art I think it is just that, that embryo grading is not an exact science and there is an element of mystery and chance in which ones take. Hang in there, you're managing all this really well. And good luck for tomorrow! I have everything crossed for you.
doll I would love to go to Beirut. I had the best haircut of my life from a Lebanese hairdresser - a fabulous Scrappy Coco type figure, if you've ever seen the terrible Adam Sandler movie 'You don't mess with the Zohan' - totally stupid but very funny if like me you have a 10 year old boy's sense of humour - and I kind of imagine it as being like an 'edgy' Italy, <naive>.
pout you are hosting Christmas? In awe. How incredibly stressful about your living situation. I really hope it works out.
Also waving to lemon, hope you are ok - and to buzzy, how's it going?
I'm bloody loving it nelly me and telly are good friends. Nothing you have done is bad, in my opinion and I hear you on the woo appointment stress, I remember we talked on that before, I've done none of it due to the stress of keeping the appointments. But then I've had a bit of coffee and wine too and honestly feel fine about it even though I would not have thought I would before I started. I don't think there is one right way to do this. I also hear you on the normal physically exertion of life after ET. Do I sedate the 15 kg 3 year old?
I wouldn't worry about the ibuprofen Nelly and Doll. I think Doll you're probably right in that there is so much other shit in our systems, the ibuprofen doesn't stand a chance. I have to practically OD on paracetamol before it even touches the sides. I was told codeine is OK too, but look out for the blends that have caffeine in them, if you're avoiding caffeine that is. I've been having posh fizzy pop in wine glasses too. I just mistyped 'whine glasses'. That is nearer the mark
Doll sounds like the CIA deserve all they get!
nelly I can't see that having sex at this stage would make a blind bit of difference. I was hoping to become a sex beast, as suggested by Gin, but it didn't happen. I have just been a grumpy cow with a tender stomach . Poor Mr A. Good job he now has the booze.
Interested in the chilling out after ET. Chilling and doing nothing is not my thing either. I have booked the gym for tonight as I am feeling fat and sluggish but am assuming that after tomorrow I should avoid. Though on the being a twunt thing, Mr A has announced that on saturday he thinks we should go see his parents. FFS. Just what I need the day after my non-birthday and ET, an afternoon perched on the sofa surrounded by their grubby toddler grandchildren listening to the latest eye-watering tale of self-inflicted family woe. I may need to take 'chill and do nothing' literally this weekend
Oh god Critter, that Adam Sandler movie, it's awful
art I know it's dreadful - one person told me it's the only film they've ever walked out of, because it was so bad - but I have an irrational love of it... especially the part when he brushes his teeth with hummus.
artemis I would definitely chill and do nothing this weekend, I think it's safe to say that you are allowed a weekend off inlaw duty!
doll that story about the CIA boggles the mind.
Critter I think you share a sense of humour with Mr A. I remember practically begging him to turn Zohan off. I began to seriously doubt our relationship when he admitted that Happy Gilmore is one of his favourite films of all time. Yeah, that and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...
I don't know this movie critter but am interested in your best hairdresser story. It's a common complaint in this city - the lack of good hairdressers. Artemis my in-laws are on Skype right now, I'm in the other room talking to people I've never meet on the Internet
Back to the post ET, is it not about no regrets? If implantation required you to stay in bed then we would have died out long ago. The extra care is because of the intensive investment with the particular cycle, right? It's my belief that this is to an extent the same with care over diet. I'm more inclined to believe 15 years of partying could have impacted my fertility than I am to believe that a small glass of wine will cause this IVF cycle to fail.
Akuaba you're right... if this cycle fails it is more likely to be because of years of thoughtless alcohol consumption and waiting to TTC until my eggs were nearly 40, rather than because I had a cup of earl grey yesterday or did pilates 4 days after ET (pilates has got to be OK surely?) Perspective and all. For me it is very much about no regrets, or limiting them, thinking of the thousands I've spent and what I've put my body through, and remembering how shit I felt post-MC that I'd had 3 glasses of wine before I knew I was pregnant (despite the fact that millions of other women do that and don't mc). Actually one of the studies I read today speculated that the human race is so crap at reproducing, it's a wonder we are here at all, though 7+ billion of us tend to prove that wrong
wow lots happening and haven't had much time to catch up.
critter thanks for asking about me, very thoughtful of you, I hope work don't give you any grief with your position, I too am an 'oversharer'
nelly I wouldn't worry about which painkillers, I take all sorts of stuff for my migraines and have never been told to stop whilst TTC. Hope you feel better, good luck for the scan tomorrow
pout tell them to get stuffed about Xmas or just book a restaurant, sorry about ERTD turning up, have you had time to start looking at places ?? The timing couldn't be worse for you
sar I am sorry you are having trouble sleeping, you are not hogging the thread at all, that is what it is for, to say how you feel and what you think, big hugs
beryl congrats to you
kitty I was wondering about you wow not long to go at all
rabbit how are you feeling today ??
mrsd I agree with gin that you have to choose carefully, I have found that most people are supportive and I have told people at work, they have been great so far, I now feel quite happy to discuss it with anyone, It doesn't make me feel less of a person anymore, I'm over that, this is where I am at and this what I have to do to try and have a baby, if people don't understand that then that is there problem/ignorance not mine, and I'm not wasting time and energy on worrying about them, it does help to have people there to support you in real life. You might be surprised at who else is in a similar situation as you.
I also find that they don't badger me for information, some say they feel awkward asking me about it.
art fingers crossed for you for tomorrow and happy birthday too
doll good luck for tomorrow
euro do you need a bag carrier for your hols??
well I have started Xmas shopping, mainly for me but have posted all gifts overseas, I really can't be bothered with cards this year.
Kayla managed to find her treats open the pack and eat most of them this morning, she is sitting next to me looking like an angel she is most certainly our dummie run at parenting, not sure how we are doing
I'm booked in for my AMH next week, best to get it over with, not that I see it making much difference, my view is that my low ovarian reserve is my body not wasting too many eggs each month but think I might put IVF off a bit longer although would be nice to get it done before the big FOUR O
Not much else to report, we will be entering shag week soon, Barry has been ill and we've had some sesh fails so have my DIY IUI kit ready if needed
Waves and luffs to you all, sorry for anyone I have forgotten
doll the hairdresser is called Michael K but his salon is in Islamabad. If your work (or Ken's, aka James Bond) ever takes you there, don't miss him! He is a hair god.
artemis the shame - I have a really embarrassingly stupid sense of humour. Although unlike MrA I am a scaredy-cat and hate horror movies!
buzz when are you thinking of IVFing? Was it early spring?
Pout - the house hunting over Christmas sounds stressy. Can you crash over with family just for the festive period?
Aw Critter - you are a sweetheat. It would have been great if you had popped up when I was doing midnight mumsnet. We need some sort of worldwide emergency siren. You are right I did have a weird pre-ovulation phase. Lots of clattering and bashing which has turned in to trapped wind in the leutal phase.
I took Euro's advice - you were right, after a good walk, I did feel a little lighter shall we say . And I managed to poo today - hooray. Although still very rumbly and uncomfy down there.
Art - I understand that you might be a little dissapointed to not go to blasto stage. But an embryo which is going to make it, does so regardless of how many are in the dish and at what point they get transfered back. I clearly remember one nurse telling me the best incubator is inside the mother, not the dish. I made loads of blastos - but to be honest it hasn't got me anywhere. So maybe if yours go home earlier, this will be better. I know it's hard not to focus on every detail. To me it was clear from the beginning of your cycle that things have been going well and you DO have a good chance of success. Big big hugs. And very happy birthday to you and the arty gang . Chilling is in order!
Joy - you asked some great questions about IVF. I am glad that your post op meeting went well and now you can move forward. I am going to keep reminding you about your good FSH and follies and hypnotise you in to being confident about your egg quality. You will see, it will be fine. I honestly think your outcome maight be similar to mine. Not loads of them but a few good 'uns. Oh and I totally agree about hiding behind the miscarriage to defend what's happening. I often still use it as an excuse to the nosy bastards who ask why we haven't got on with making babies. For some illogical reason I find stating this fact makes me feel more normal.
Nelly - glad the headache has shifted. Yes please to the Nigella bars - can I have 2? Will they shift my trapped wind too? I don't think any of the stuff you have donesis baaad. And best of luck for tomorrow.
Rabbit - how are things?
Thanks for the lovely messages everyone. I thought things would be better once I handed in my notice. But my manager now wants to reject my leave date on the basis that others will be going on annual leave that week. . I can't factor in my current team and service needs anymore. If I did, I would never leave. We had agreed I could leave on the 13th Jan with me starting on the 14th. I have to give 8 weeks notice which I am doing. Does anyone know, can they stop me leaving? This also means I won't be allowed to have the annual leave I wanted (nomal for most people moving between jobs) as others will be on leave. I feel they are being a bit harsh. I have already offered to work loads over Christmas and New Year.
Also found out my op might be week commencing 28th Jan. But then again it might be earlier if someone cancels. . So my current workplace are threatening to push back my start date with the new job which means I will not get any annual leave to try and mentally prepare for the new job, then start the new job and then go in for an operation straight away which will be more than a laparscopy as I am definatly having lots of treatment. The recovary time is still unknown. How do I plan for all this? They are being bastards, they have forgotten about the times I have given up my booked annual leave to let others go on holiday. Rant rant rant [blash]
critter I was thinking of Jan but maybe more Feb March, my birthday is the end of March
sar I would check with your HR dept, to be honest A/L is not your problem to worry about but your managers also if you have A/L booked they really have to honour it, I would also go speak to your Occ Health dept too and explain what is going on, you need to worry about you and not your job, they will manage somehow
sar could you not finish your current job then take your A/L before your op and then start the new role?? Where I work we've waited 3 months for staff of your level to start, they cannnot stop you leaving if you have given your 2 months notice
Buzz - hellooo you are an inspiration!
Doll - we love homelands in this house. I can immagine some stuff is very innacurate. Are you having EC tomorrow? Good luck honey. I am really really rooting for you. And a glass of wine is ay ok!! xx
Thanks sar it is tomorrow, along with nelly's scan and art's ET. Big day for the 10+ IVFers! All reports to big submitted by COB in your own time zone please. Speaking of which, sorry these work issues really suck. Horrid. Sounds like buzzy has some good ideas. I don't know why I didn't see your message last night (I'm two hours ahead) I guess I didnt check before bed. I would have written if I had seen. Take a hug.
Artemis tell him it's dr's orders to take it very easy this weekend.
doll I'm with you on the (non) impact of behaviours during one cycle. King's advice is to carry on as normal anyway. Good luck for EC tomorrow. I'm glad you won't have to rely on a taxi driver to perform Ken's role!
sar employment law is not my area, but the notice period is contractual. I would be very surprised if they could hold you to a longer period. And if they tried, I don't believe they would have any claim if you were to just leave at the end of the notice period. There is loads of employment information on this site www.adviceguide.org.uk/ - it's the CAB's portal. I don't have time to research for you now, but it is all in non-lawyer speak and hopefully there will be something helpful for you there.
Don't worry about a couple of ibruprofen ladies. I think you have to take lots for it to effect anything. No doubt the drugs you are on will override it anyway! I think the advice not to take aspirin around IVF is simply because it thins the blood (which is why people with clotting issues take it during ttc and pregnancy) and as they are sticking needles in you they don't want you to bleed loads. If you are taking it for ttc, they actually get you to stop around EC for a few days and then you stop completely near to term because obviously they don't want you to bleed more than you have to during labour.
I'm in bed out of knackered ness. I'm ready for some leave and on a long countdown. I'm ok thanks all for asking. I think the two year mark and dark night have made me a bit fragile but nothing tent worthy. Had to do a horrible thing at work today and its right taken it out of me. I'm being a shit name checker but working from home tomorrow (THANK GOD) so will check in properly.
Don't worry about the emblioes art I always thought blasts were a rare thing indeed. Good luck tomorrow and to doll thinking of gin and nelly.
I'm going to sleep. I'm officially ancient.
Nelly Art and Doll good luck good luck for tomorrow will be thinking of you all. Hope everything goes well. There's been lots of level headed chat on here about everything, you all seem to be taking it in your stride.
Sar they can't make you extend your notice period - I second Buzzys suggestion though I'd rather have the op between jobs if that were to work out.
Euro thanks for that article link - have used it as my latest tool to try and scare DH into not drinking.
Oh dear I've missed so much, am not keeping up at the minute but big waves to you all.
Thanks for the good luck wishes everyone. Definitely feel some activity but really terrified I'll get sent away with my tail between my legs. But I will follow Doll's instructions and report back either way.
It is indeed a big IVF day - someone at nearly every stage! Gin, what news with you?
Euro it must be the lawyer in you that made your recent post on painkillers sound very authoritative
Rabbit sorry you are feeling so tired. You aren't ancient, far from it! I only don't go to bed early as I'm so stubborn. And then can never ever get up in the morning, and am late for work every single day. I'm officially useless. I do make the hours up but honestly how hard would it be to get up 10 minutes earlier every day. .
Sar the work stuff sounds very stressful. It's trite I know, but these things have a way of working out. And between Buzzy and Euro, I think they have offered good advice. If you can take the leave between jobs, that sounds like a good plan. You can have as many of the breakfast bars as you want; I have just made a fresh batch
Buzzy you seem much happier, I'm so pleased. Kayla sounds so lovely. Wonder if we can all help Euro carry her bags? Though that's a bit rich coming from me who is off on Honeymoon 6 weeks today. Hooray!!!
Just popping in quickly to wish doll good luck with EC tomorrow. I hope they get the Tehran 3 out of (and maybe some buddies who've been hiding). Oops, that sounds a bit like I'm continuing the homeland theme!
artemis that is indeed a sucky birthday. I'm such a wuss I got them to sedate me for transfer, so can't offer any words of wisdom, but am sure it'll all go well. 3 or 5 day transfer makes no difference - 5 day is just used if there are lots of embryos to help differentiate between them. I hope you have something nice planned for the evening. You are exactly 1 week behind me! Btw your description of mr a having turned French made me laugh out loud.
nelly good luck for the scan! It's a tense moment, but rumblings are a good sign.
I'll be thinking of the 3 of you tomorrow.
Waves and snogs to everyone else. I'm feeling less and less hopeful, due to womble grumblings. If my period comes on time (it did in the 1st cycle), it'll be here a week today. I just wish I could tell if it'd worked or not, so I can get in with my life. And the constant weeing, particularly at night, is pissing me off sigh
Just wanted to pop in briefly to wish the 3 ladies masses of luck with your big day tomorrow (well, today). Much love and hand holding
art apart from the hideous timing, I really hope that you have some happy birthday moments and that you do something great to celebrate when all is done and you're feeling yourself. Here's a birthday , in the absence of a cake smiley!
doll hope you managed to book a good looking and intelligent taxi driver.
nelly as gin says, womb rumblings sound promising. GL.
Hi all, I too wanted to wish our lovely IVF ladies the very very best of luck today. We are all rooting for you and sending lots of good energy (woo!) towards you. Keep us posted (I'm still here, just shamefully lurking!)
frannie has the bleeding stopped? It can just be your womb stretching out / implantation bleeding.
sarlat they definitely can't make you stay if you have given notice. It would be good to get your op done in between though. It would stop you having to answer questions about it to all and sundry too.
Sorry to all those having lonely wombs, anguishy nights. Some days really are worse than others, and i think homones have a lot to answer for. There's always lots of kindly ears here though so vent away. We all have developed coping techniques (some healthier than others. One of mine is / was avoiding people and most social situations which probably isn't the best!)
Haven't seen the OBEM ad but it sounds suitably hideous. Super insensitive.
News from heartland is I had a nine week scan and there was a real live baby in there, looking alive and normal I have been
inconsolable worried as lost all my symptoms at 7 weeks. Convinced I'd had another mmc. I can't even describe the terror followed by the relief. For the first time I am starting to think that this could happen. Still not out of the woods yet and still haven't joined the grads thread. But now feeling grateful for no sickness
Hope everyone else is ok today and have smashing weekends planned, and artemis happy birthday - I know it's an odd one for you but you might always look back on it fondly if this works out. Which it most definitely could do.
nelly the painkillers thing I became very conscious of because I used to take Ponstan for period pains. I had for years. After about a year of ttc, I was idly reading the notes in the box when very bored waiting for a much delayed plane and saw that it had "do not take if trying to become pregnant" in big bold type, so I did some research about painkillers and decided to stick to paracetemol. The ibruprofen thing was fresh in my mind because at the Create open day they were saying about how they use a form of ibruprofen to help time ovulation. It's not nurofen or anything though - probably a stronger form! Sorry for scaring you.
Good luck to all the IVFers, and Happy Birthday to art!
Woo hoo for a good scan heart
Hello all, gosh it has been a busy week!
Happy Birthday Artemis!
doll hope EC went well today
Good luck to all the other IVF'ers.
heart glad the scan went well
sar and pout I'm sorry you're both so blue, sending hugs, here's to 2013 being a better year in lovely new jobs and homes. Sar, I think just leave when you said you were going to, I don't think they can hold you either.
Sorry to everyone else I'm not namechecking - it has been a busy week on here. We've been climbing the walls a bit worrying about whether this is ectopic or not - had a scan this morning and gestational sac seen in the right place - so relieved, several tears were shed. No heart beat yet - only about 5+2 - but booked for another scan in 2 weeks to confirm viability. So fingers crossed it is getting comfortable for the next 34 weeks. I'm nearly feeling brave enough to join an antenatal thread, but not quite!
Not a great scan. My bladder was in the way even though I'd just emptied it (or not, apparently). Then she started looking and was hunting about and said "what was your AMH again?". Lovely, obviously things weren't looking good. She finally found my left ovary. 2 follies, both about 5mm. Couldn't find my right at all as bowel was in the way. She thought she got a glimpse at one point and that there is one similar sized follie. Also I'm still spotting 9 days after period started and my lining isn't very thick. It's always been fine before. So basically very little growing, lining isn't great and I now appear to have bladder issues .
I keep taking the drugs, go back on Monday and see what happens then. I wasn't expecting loads but was hoping for slightly bigger by now I think? I've been on the drugs for 5 days now. I have a horrid feeling the drugs won't give me any better odds than no drugs . I am having a major "I'm a failure" moment.
I hope the other IVFers had better days than me. Happy Birthday Art .
Ok nelly don't worry. Your looking similar to me. It is difficult because dispite the quality not quantity idea we are looking for quantity because this is why we take the drug. Produce quantity to have more chances at finding good enough quality. Some ECs seem to bear little relation to the scan information particular the earlier scans, this has been said a few times on this thread, I'm sure you have read. My EC, which I did today matched my scans pretty well. I'm go though them for you is a second I'm just going to make a cup of tea and think about the timing of the scans so I get it right....hang in there, it's disappointing I know, even going in with the idea that it is likely not big numbers. X
nelly you are not a failure so no more negative talk like that, you have had a reactionand its just going to take a bit longer, perhaps you needed a higher dose to start with, look after yourself and be kind to yourself
mellow and heart good news on your scans fingers crossed for you both
Thanks ladies. I do love you all .
Nelly it's still early days - think of what happened to critter on injectibiles - nothing, nothing, nothing..... argh too many! Everyone reacts differently to the drugs.
I had an uber long period during down-regging - almost 2 weeks I think.
doll you sound very calm post-EC. I hope it all went well. You really are the anti-drama queen!
mellow I'm glad everything looked how it should.
I need to take Arts advice not to skip so far ahead! I was thinking the same about doll, so zen! But my boss pitched up so had to post quickly!
Doll I've only scan read thread a lot recently so not been fully following scans etc. would be good to hear your version when you are up to it. Fingers crossed you get a good result with the Beirut 3 .
I am finding the treatment a piece of cake. However it's like studying for months, feeling totally prepared, then walking in to the exam finding you learnt all the wrong stuff. Anyway I picked up leaflets earlier about German Shepherd rescue .
So...I was stimming for 14 days, which I believe is the upper end as mine were slow growing (is there any relationship between numbers and the amount of time that they take to grow? Not that I have heard). I have read between 7-14 days simming, you must have been at the lower end artemis right? I have found the whole process much easier than I expected but the protracted stimming with the low number of eggs was the must difficult thing.
I had 4 scans, one baseline after 13 days of downregging, two more days of downregging, then started simming. First simming scan after 5 days of simming: 3 follies of about 5mm on left side, ovary not found on right, bladder empty, most likely nothing doing. Second scan after 9 days of simming: 3 on left side at 15mm with a 4th that looked like it would get too big, right ovary not found but bladder full, emptied bladder, ovary found with 1 small one (no size given). Third scan after 12 days of simming: all 4 on the left side now look the same size, right side seen but follie not grown. Then I did 2 more days of simming, trigger Wednesday, EC today. 4 eggs collected. Im yet to speak to the doctor has he had to go to a conference when I was still waking up, Ken told me he said 4, I'll call him in an hour or so.
Sorry that message was for nelly I don't mean to bore with me egg details. I know what you mean about 'learning the wrong stuff'. I guess it's because every reaction is different. Thanks euro yes it was fine in a low expectations kind of way, will be back with promised EC report.
Nelly i havent got to your stage yet but others have great points. I know the literature i was given the other day by my clinic suggests that there is a huge difference in the rate people stim. So 5 days is still early days.
Doll well done on getting ec done. when do you hear how the beirut4 are doing/?
Sar thanks for the kind words. But im really sorry to see that your manager is being difficult. Lots of good advice on here. Does your new place want to start asap? Would you prefer to have your op before starting your new job or is that just not going to be possible? And how many dpo are you? sorry you have been so uncomfortable this month. do you drink plenty of water?
Art happy birthday and hope all goes well toay.
Gin big squeeze, hoping your grumblings are just gord and saph bedding in.
Pout have you heard anything more about your ivf referral? When do you think things will kick off for you?
Heart thats wonderful news! really really thrilled for you.
Mrsmellow thats great that all is looking positive so far. Hopefully the next few weeks will speed on by.
I normally get 2 days of brown gunk at the end of my period but strangely on antibiotics i have gone from red to dead for the first time ever. Intriguing.
Anyway thank f* its Friday.
nelly as euro says, it took absolutely ages for me to get my eight eggs on the cancelled injectibles cycle. I was stimming for 20 or 21 days as I recall. So 5 days is no time at all! Although I remember having a meltdown after about 14 days when there wasn't anything and the nurse looked worried. Please hang in there my lovely, honestly, some of us are just slow growers, but things can shoot up very fast. Incidentally, the doctor told me that this is a common pattern in some women (especially those who don't ovulate regularly, like me) - they 'flatline' for ages and then suddenly, perhaps with only a tiny tweak in drugs, their hormones skyrocket and they produce a bunch of eggs in one go very fast. Whereas with other women, it's more of a steady rise. Hang in there!
doll hooray for the Beirut 4! And as ever, you continue to have me in awe of your steady approach to all this. I hope you can get some relaxation in this weekend - and that Ken can take poupye off your hands for a little. Absolute champ.
mellow that is wonderful news about the scan - big hand squeeze in the meantime and fingers crossed for the next one!
rabbit it's nearly the weekend, hooray - sounds like you are exhausted so be sure to take it easy this weekend.
joy very interesting about the antibiotics and their effect on AF. Curious.
gin I hope you are ok and managing this stressful wait. Come on Gordon and Sapphire!
heart that's brilliant news, I am so pleased!
cosmos lovely to see you back here, hope all is well.
buzzy it sounds like you might be ivf-ing around the same time as joy, mrd, euro and yours truly, hurrah! Kayla sounds like she is being her usual naughty self.
Hurrah for the Beirut 4 Doll. How are you feeling after the op? Looking forward to comparing notes. I'm just trying to figure out how long I was stimming. I make it 10 days so somewhere in the middle of the scale. I had a growth spurt at the start but then the follies slowed down. The embies seem to have done the same thing! Nelly don't worry, everyone grows at different rates, they may need to adjust your drug doses as well. They may have been cautious with the initial dose to avoid OHSS which would be a good thing. I just seem to be lucky in that they hit on the right dose first go. As Euro said, Critter's experience shows how quickly things can change! Also, like Euro I had an uber-long period while i was stimming, lasted nearly a fortnight.
Mellow I'm really pleased the scan reassured you, looking forward to more good news from you at the next one!
Gin how are you doing? I am quite sanguine a few hours after ET but that might be because I was awake at 4am so too tired to worry much! It feels strange that all the activity is over and i have nothing to do now but wait.
Everything went fine this morning. They have put back two embies, both grade 2/3 so not brilliant but the embryologist said they can't use the state of an embryo one day to predict how it will be the next. Mr A was twitching a bit about the twins issue but since the most likely statistical outcome still remains a BFN we just went with their recommendation - twins are unlikely given my extreme age (they said, but not in so many words). We have opted for them to culture the remaining ones to Monday to see if we can get any blasts to freeze. They thought it would be borderline but because we have a few left we decided to give them the chance. i didn't like the idea of just binning them!
The procedure itself was weird. I was told it would be like a smear but it wasn't really. I was on a bed tilted back with my legs stirrups, and they use the same clamp thing to hold you open, but there the resemblance ends. It was painful-ish but more weird actually and nowhere near as bad as the HSG. Actually the most uncomfortable bit was the nurse pressing the ultrasound on my very full bladder! They get the catheter in first then the embryologist gets the embryos ready in a long tube so there is a bit of faffing about, first while they make sure they're in the tube then again afterwards while they make sure they're not in there any more. Mr A was in the room with me (firmly at the head end) and could watch on the ultrasound screen. The staff were brilliant and I was mostly left in awe at the wonder of science. We were shown our two embies on a screen and given a picture to take away! Rest assured that will not be appearing on facebook any time soon
Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone. It's been a strange one! also the first sober birthday I've had in over 20 years . I'm at my desk now but it's an afternoon of gentle faffing rather than hard slog and I don't plan to do much this weekend
definitely not visiting the bloody inlaws.
Oh one more thing - this might interest you Rabbit - before he did the transfer the embryologist asked if I've always been slim. I've been pretty much the same weight for the last 15 years. He advised Mr A to 'feed me up' a bit over xmas. Apparently pregnancy likes you to have a layer of body fat. My BMI is 20-21 and I'm hardly skinny, and I'm not thrilled at the idea of putting on weight
because it will all land on my arse but that's what he said . I might wait to see if I'm actually pregnant before hitting the Reese's peanut butter cups. Actually I recall from the meet, and I think people have said on here, quite a few of us are at the lower end of the BMI scale aren't we?
So on that note - off to acquire some cake. There's enough for everyone . Thanks for all your support over the last few weeks, you are all fabulous
Afternoon. I have worked like a trooper from the safety of my own home and i throw the towel in as of 3 o clock. Woo hoo, weekend! Apart from triaging the e-mail post school rush..
Anyway, how much better I feel for a 9 hour sleep!! I sleep like crap in the run up to my period, not sure why. It's nearly over now, onwards with another month of futility! I have read two threads today that have made me feel both amazed at how quickly people conceive and how fecking long it takes others.
nelly early early days. Poor bedside manner to ask about the amh, for gawds sake, look at the notes woman! I am sure that this is all alright and you will be surprised at how things develop (critter). My bladder fills as they look at me and I've had hours of dildocamming this year! I think it is the nerves, like when you need a wee a bit more when you're nervous, makes it fill more quickly. That's what they told me anyway. I usually have to keep getting dressed to go and wee again. So, don't add bladder to the frets! And you are NOT a failure. You are lovel, funny, hobbly, baking and kind nelly capable of wedding and ivf simultaneously - you are amazing!
art happy birthday. Or bumday as we have always called it in my family. I hope it all went smoothly and that you are able to do something suitably post ET birthday like? The fertility gods do like a laugh with their timings.
doll hope you are feeling OK, I think euro is spot on at you being our anti drama queen.
joycep do you feel OK on the antibiotics? I forget now, is that for the hidden c?
mellow and heart so pleased for you both, it must be a massive relief. May the next 8 months or so be as free from stress as possible.
pout I second going out for xmas! Any luck with the house hunting?
euro I have never ever thought I'd like to shoot. I have poor hand eye co-ordination at the best of times. BUT something that would feel like an achievement and also shooting something right now(sounds worse than I mean) really appeals! The only person I can think of who would like to shoot even less than me was Hare, but when I told him I wanted to he was well up for it! So rabbit and hare are going shooting, maybe not for birthday but it will be on my New Year list of 43 things (anyone else do this? I love it, have a google).
sarlat how you doing lovely? I so feel for you with the job stress. I feel like I can just about manage ttc doomy thoughts and keeping things normal and not sinking into a pit and usual work stress. But when the work stress tips too much it makes me feel a bit crazy. I hope you have some supportive colleagues too to offload onto and to offer advice.
gin keep going, I can only imagine how long these days feel. But womble grumbles really could be anything. I'm sure it might respond a little to having had a little tube in there, I even get grumbles after a smear, maybe they are just grumpy buggers. I know mine is. Hug.
critter wave. Do you do good thanksgiving things?
lemon sending out a love - i think maybe you are on hols.
buzzy my rabbit once at an entire bag of treats that he had pulled out of the cupboard. I think it gave him a treat hangover as he didn't eat another for ages and spent the whole day quiet in his cage. He also used to eat (dry) catfood when no one was looking. It made him quite fat and it took me a while to figure out why he'd got so very podgy. Bad carnivorous bunny. He also goes wild at the smell of cheese.
big love to anyone missed. and thanks for being such a great bunch. I have officially found the two year mark NASTY and you have really helped me not to feel alone.
Thanks for the ET story Art. I'm glad it seemed to go well.
I usually have a BMI around 21. It's at about 22 now, as I am still working on shedding the 12 pounds (!!) I put on from the steroids and IVF drugs. Two days ago the scales showed 6 lbs gone, so I am halfway there! And like you I've been a more or less stable weight for years.
So the answer to the question, when you I heard how they are doing? joy is - not until I go back for the ET on Monday! Just spoke to my doctor who confirmed I have 4 'which look fine as far as I can see'. Now it's a case of rock up on Monday to put back whatever got cooked over the weekend. This is cut to the chase IVF. How are they doing? Ha, details, details....
Today was very no frills, the hospital has an excellent clinical rep but really needs more space (which they are building) and the nurses need some happy pills. I was stepping over other ladies in a tiny room, surgical booties and hairnets flying everywhere. My arabic does not extend to 'empty your bladder'. Young sexy friendly Mohammed tried four times to stick my hand before someone else took over over much chattering and phone ringing. My fanjo got chilly with a draft up it while hanging out in stirrups for a thousand years. I'm really selling this aren't I?
Ken was led to a small room with a toilet off it. He was told 'there's the toilet, leave it in there when you are done' He wanked in a toilet again (because he "wasn't sure the room was for him" poor lamb) it's becoming a habit, he thinks the next time he is in a hospital for whatever reason he'll likely just pop in the loo for a quick one for old times sake. Ken said he could hear I was awake as I was loudly joking with sexy Mohammed regarding the lack of entertainment I was off out of there without so much as a glass of water, whatever they sedated me with was not a very happy one though, I had to get out of lift out the way out to throw up. Anyway 4 pieces of marmite on toast and a nap later and all is well. Sore belly, to be sure.
Gin at least I didn't get anything put up my arse without warning, I still can't believe that. What were they thinking? I'm sorry your post ET injections are so difficult, everyone says how horrid that particular drug is to inject. I have in the fanny pills and in the mouth pills. No back door or needles. <blessed>
Happy birthday Artemis how was the ET?
Wow artemis happy birthday and best of luck to the artemis embies - the gemini? Romulus and Remus? Castor and Pollux? How amazing to read about the process - thank you for writing it all down, it's really helpful to hear about what actually happens. I hope you have lots of lovely birthday cake, and will be wishing your little ones - and the other embies - all the positivity in the world as they settle in.
Interesting about the weight thing. I too am usually at the lower end of the BMI scale, about the same as you, around 20, but put on a little weight this year. It's nice to know it's there for good reason
rather than just too much American high fructose corn syrup laden treats
Sorry that took me ages and I x-posted all over the place. Hi rabbit , glad it went ok Artemis
cross post art yay for your little embies in where they belong! Nice to have a photo I didn't know that happened. What an amazing thing to have, a photo of yourself as an embryo. Wow. It sounds like I could cope with that. But first the team would have to get a tube into my wacky racetrack cervix. The best of British luck to them I say. Well, make sure you are a total and utter couch potato this weekend and yay to no inlaws.
Mm about the weight. My bmi is currently <checks google> nhs tells me 18 and that I'm (a tiny bit) underweight. I do find this tricky. Whilst I am 99.9% not eating disordery I can't eat to gain weight very well as it makes me a bit fretful. I might have to sit and have a careful think about this. To be honest, as I'm having periods I tend to think it's OK but maybe the body likes to be all cushioned to be ready. I know I don't really eat enough. I wish weight went onto boobs. If I could eat like a piggy and it all go on my boobs it would be ace. Maybe the clomid will fatten me up.
Jesus and the first line doesn't even make sense
doll poor Ken but that did make me sorry about the drafty fanjo and vomming but glad marmite did the job. Castor and Pollux is genius Critter. Though maybe remus and romulus have a nicer ring
Well done Artemis fingers crossed for the twins
and doll very brisk treatment - hope the Beirut 4 like their current temporary home, again, fingers tightly crossed.
The weight thing is interesting as I'm currently the heaviest I've been since I was 20 and at university - my BMI is normally just 20 and is now 22 - I'm still slim, but feel heavier - whether this has any role at all I don't know? I too would be thrilled if weight went onto boobs rather than tummy..
Akuaba your account of the EC made me laugh... that's not what's supposed to happen is it... Beirut is clearly a long way from Manchester in more ways than one. Sorry about the chilly fanjo and the vomming. I'm surprised they let you out so soon... what am I saying, after your account I'm not surprised at all. Poor Ken really lucks out with these wanking incidents doesn't he? I too have fanjo bullets but no mouth pills, and an instruction not to have sex. Like I want to
ever again. Poor Mr A. I foresee an aching in my jaw over the next few weeks
Critter at the names. My thoughts were a bit more prosaic: Eric and Ernie? Mickey and Minnie. Tom and Jerry. Elvis and Frank (Sinatra) - but those two might not get on.
Rabbit and Mellow I third the wish that weight went on the boobs. When I was younger i went travelling and put on about a stone in 3 months through working in a diner in America and eating crap. Every single pound of it landed between my waist and knees while my top half refused to budge beyond a B. Not good.
Rabbit and Euro shooting is fun. Aeons back i went clay pigeon shooting on a date with a bloke who thought it would impress me. The bloke turned out to be an utter tosspot but the shooting was great. In retrospect I would have had a happier year if I'd just turned the gun on him
Oh I'm very skinny. Def about 18 BMI. Eat like a horse ( well not grass and hay so much) but don't put on weight. My acu and hypno are both keen for me to put on about half a stone. I'm hoping that if IVF doesn't work, honeymoon fat will. Mind you giving up wine has drastically dropped my calorie intake so maybe starting drinking
properly again plus lazing about on a beach will do the job .
Thank you all again and Art and Doll thanks for the stories. Boss hovering. So annoying.
Oestrogen came back. Very low only 55. They've suggested abandoning cycle.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is so unfair.
oh nelly is there an alternative that they can offer you?? Big hugs sweetie
Oh Nelly. That's awful. Huge hugs.
I am sorry for being ignorant but what does the oestrogen level actually mean? I haven't had a blood test the whole way through my cycle so tbh I have no clue what any of my hormone levels have been like at all.
Can you persist and see what happens? You're not far into stimming after all
art interesting about the twins, from what I have read and seen twins are more likely, I know a few older women who have twins, well good luck to your two
doll ha yes I can hardly wait for it to be my turn
critter love the names, perhaps I should run by some of my suggestions and see what you think, I'll certainly be asking for your imput next time I get a pet which won't be anytime soon as Kayla is way to spoilt
gin your tummy has been through alot lately so no wonder it is grumbling, it doesn't mean that it hasn't worked
rabbit kayla wanted more treats but there aren't any until I go shopping, she is meowing at me now for some attention
Not sure exactly but my body isn't producing much therefore I don't think it's just slow growing.
I've said I will keep going for now. Have another scan on Monday. Am sick of being told I'm failing though.
nelly I want to second what Artemis said and asked. I have had no blood tests at all, before or during. I know this establishment may not exactly be the gold standard, but there was never a suggestion of stopping, on only three follies and it seems you most likely have three as well. I'm sorry for this horrid news. Hugs.
Oh nelly massive hand squeeze. I didn't know they even tested estrogen? Look, keep going I'd say just to see what happens. And don't think about donor eggs yet, Dr Big sees ivf go one as a diagnostic to see how you respond to things, if it works fantastic and if not they have a much better idea of how to proceed. It must feel totally shitty but you are doing so very well and we are all sending you loads of loves.
buzzy I think increased likelihood of twins in older women is in spontaneous pregnancies rather than IVF, no?
nelly you are not failing at all, I think its too early to be making decision and they need to give you an alternative option or give you something to support your oestrogen level
doll on some of the websites for IVF alot have had twins and I know of at least 3 ivf twins in older mums but who knows
nelly just done a quick google and there are natural things you could try but as time is of the essence I think it would be worth asking about something like HRT, they gave me progynova to help thicken up my lining, you usually take it from around day 3 so that could help,
Nelly massive hugs. There are so many different protocols and drugs, and amounts of drugs - there's always something different to try. Can they up your dosage? Are they suggesting a different protocol another time? Always worth a second opinion if possible?
Oh nelly, I'm so sorry for your arsehole of a day. Have they given you any advice about how you can increase oestrogen levels? Please don't feel like you've failed. Please. You've absolutely not and that emotion is so destructive. This is a blip. <massivehugs>
Quick one from me just to say happy birthday artemis and well done on today.
doll rooting for you.
nelly Oh FFS...I am sorry that this uncertainty has been thrown into the mix. I am thinking of you and keeping everything crossed that the cycle is not derailed.
Sorry for not namechecking. I will come back and catch up properly.
nelly you must really be hurting, I don't want to throw in ill educated rubbish but in addition to the comments I've already made I want to note that I'm taking oestrogen as well as progesterone post EC. Looking this up this evening I note that it's also used throughout the cycle in many cases.
You are absolutely right to continue for now and see the situation on Monday.
nelly hon - my estradiol (the type of oestrogen that they test) was really low for ages when I was stimming, and then shot up. What dose of stims are they giving you? I am so sorry you're having to worry about this, massive hug, it sounds incredibly stressful.
Oh you wonderful amazing ladies. I came home, bawled my eyes out on MrNs shoulder, dealt with my hobbles, composed myself then read what you all wrote and have tears streaming down my face again, but in a kind of good way. I never even thought of asking if we could supplement the oestrogen. Haven't talked other options yet. But if still crap on Monday I will ask about the HRT etc. and Critter especially thanks for telling me that. It's a tiny glimmer of hope on an otherwise shit day. I have no idea how I would get through this without you. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I am off out to see Skyfall in a bit. No babies in it, I hope? .
Also I'm on 225 gonal f. They say for my size that's enough.
God I've been such a thread hogger. Huge congrats to MrsMellow on the bean in the right place, and to Heart. And Doll and Art and Gin are all being so stoic whilst I noisily fall apart .
Onwards and upwards. I will fight the good fight.
There's no babies in Skyfall nelly! It will take your mind off it for two and a half hours. And I really liked it. But I do like a bit of Craig. We're all here for you.
Oh nellie I can't believe they were thinking of cancelling the cycle. At create, 4 would be a bloody good result. I was told to eat lots of protein and drink lots of water for follicle and womb lining development. My e2 levels (which is what I assume they mean by oestrogen) were 'nice and low' to start with, but then as you know were sky high by day 10, putting me at high ohss risk. I was terrifed they were going to cancel the cycle then. Dr doom and gloom said my follicles were developing slowly at the 3rd scan, but I can't have done more than 9/10 days of stims. Anyway big hugs. Things can change massively in the space of a few days, so please don't give up.
Happy birthday artemis! Oddly critter I was thinking of Romulus and Remus for art's twins. I'm so pleased all went well. Take it easy this weekend and I hope you have some birthday treats lined up. We can start to symptom swap!
Yay for the now Beirut 4 doll. God, your EC sounded bloody brutal, although at least you didn't have any secret arse bullets! So they won't let you know how fertilisation goes?? Great that they are mature eggs and look good.
rabbit so pleased you're feeling better. And at the rabbit hangover and that he likes cheese. Apparently our guinea pig is sulking with Dave cos he went to the pub last night!
sar hope you are hanging in there and feeling ok. The last thing you need is work stress. Can't believe they are being such bastards about your leaving date and annual leave. I'm sure they can't make you stay longer than your leave notice period.
mellow I'm delighted to hear that the scan went well! Yay!
Waves to buzzy, joy, critter, pout, cosmos and everyone else.
The weight thing is interesting but I do feel like you can't win -everyone's either too fat or too thin. I just checked and my bmi is 21.5 (using my 1st thing in the morning, no clothes skinny weight!). It's never been mentioned to me as an issue. Gawd, if only my weight went to my boobs, I might actually have some boobs! I'd like to be a few pounds lighter ie have no tummy, but like food too much and am too lazy to exercise.
I appear to have pmt/progesterone emotions today. I wanted to fight an old lady who stole my seat in a cafe , but also feel a bit tearful. I need to get myself some of doll's zen!
And to improve my mood fucking pregnant Ferne Cotton is on tv. Just piss off glowing pregnant celebs.
Boody hell - busy here tonight my lovelies.
Nelly - my follie count and size looked very poor at my first scan. I agree, you may need an increased dose. 225 doesn't sound that much - I had loads more stim drugs than that and my BMI is about 21.5. I say keep going despite the recent phone call. Like Art I don't know much about what low oestorgen means but you DO ovulate and the advise others have given sounds great! You are not menapausal and I think there is still chances and time. I bet you are a slow grower. But I am really really thinking of you. I am with you every step of the way. And if they didn't get a good look at both ovaries at scan then there may be follies playing hide and seek. I agree with Rabbit -that woman has poor bedside manner! It's her job to be informed about you and not instigate silly panic. Oh sweetheart - what a crappy day. When my stimming was going badly and I was told I was in ovarian decline I had emergency acupuncture which in my opinion did help. Can you get in anywhere quick for 2 - 3 sessions? No babies in skyfall - get a supersize bag of maltersers!
Heart - hooray, I am thrilled that the recent scan went well. Just goes to show that symptoms are not essential. I say go join the antenatal thread and enjoy your very special pregnancy!
Mellow - what a relief. That is such great news about your scan. Good luck for the next one but in the mean time, relax a little if you can.
Buzz and Euro - thank you so much for the job advice.
Joy - In relation to the op - I would prefer to have my op under current workplace. But new emlployer want me asap and being arsey about it. So start date is as soon as it can be. This means in all likelyhood I will be working with new employers for 2 weeks and then going off for the op. Not ideal at all. But I have told them about the gynae issues. And I simply can't do anymore to make the universe spin they way I want it. I am 10 dpo today. Although I am still a little heavy and bloated, no way am I preggo. I'm already on the . I usually drink plenty of water but maybe not enough just lately. The antibiotics period sounds amazing! Wow - this is starting to feel like something might just happen.
Art - I know what you mean about the scanner being uncomfy when pressed on the bladder - I thought I was going to squirt wee in to the Dr's eye. I bet people have you know . Happy Birthday and extra slices of birthday cake sounds perfect. The transfer sounded like it went well. Embryos at that stage have every chance - do not worry one jot about how they were graded - no one knows what will happen next. I can very much recommend the new magnum chocolate icecream which comes in a tub to help with the extra layer.
Gin - grumbles are a normal part of progesterone support and no bearing on how gordon and saphire are getting on. Please don't worry, they have a really good chance. Try and keep yourself busy for a few more days. Sorry for the angry fighty mood - not your fault. It;'s Romulus' and Remis' fault.
Rabbit - hooray for shooting. "Run rabbit run rabbit run run run, don't let the farmer catch you with his gun." The 2 year mark isn't easy. It is tough. And I just want to give you a big squeezy hug. 2 years doesn't change your odds - please keep remember your recent BFP!!!!!!!! It will happen again sweetheart.
O my Lord - doll - what a crazy situation. Not even a glass of water - wanking in the toilet - chilly fanjo - throwing up - . But wow wow wow at 4 beautiful eggs. Every chance they will fertilse beautifully. Ooo well done honey. Make sure you rest and are kind to yourself over the weekend. Let us know what the embryologist's say.
Hello to Buzz, Critter, Pout, Euro, and everyone.
Work crap update - I met with big boss today who told me I was leaving our service 'under strain' as there was no cover for hospital service when I leave. . She told me she was rejecting my resignation . I protested that I could leave as long as contractual leave notice was fulfilled (thanks Euro) and I said my leave date WAS carefully planned around the service needs as well as my own needs and I had delayed the new job start already to help out over the busy christmas period. Big boss then checked the annual leave register and realised that my line manager (who had put this whole issue forward) was the only one in the team on leave that week. Therefore cover can be sorted, with out any huge problems. I then received THE BIGGEST apology ever from big boss. She was very cross that my line manager had basically "spun her a yarn" as she put it about how much stress the service would be under if I left. They were actually looking in to legally blocking me resigning based on the made up shit little boss had been spouting don't know how they would have done that although front line hospital staff can be accused of bed blocking if they don't do their jobs properly which can become a legal issue - hell I don't know. Now I have every blessing to leave on 14th Jan with a week of annual leave before (which will help me sort my head) . Big boss was really nice and very embarressed that she had acted in the way she did - but it wasn't really her fault, little boss has ben talking crapola - she may have issues me thinks.
I am still in the tent. I am still a bit windy. This has been a weird cycle. But I am having temporary respite from all the shit. Just had some supermarket ready made roast chicken with ready made carrot and potato mash followed by magnum icreacream from a tub and lots of rioja! . Ah - that's better. The BMI thing is intersting. I think mine might be 21.5 ish too Gin but last year and prior to that it was likely around the 20 or 20.5 mark - very interesting.
It's not zen gin honest. I guess I'm going to find out how fertilization goes by showing up for the ET. I know, I know. You they will bother to call me if there's nothing to transfer?
I forgot to comment on artemis and the cuckoo baby comment and was it madness and the Chinese baby? Being in the city of chaos and in the hospital that lost my mammogram results and didn't tell me, I'm feeling nice and chilled bout that angle. Let's put it this way, was a bit jealous of your hospital bracelet art . I had
useless surgery on my right foot a few years back in NYC. I wrote in felt tip pen over my left foot 'WRONG FOOT'. I couldn't think of a workable version for this morning.
X-post sar mmm bad bad little boss, people are such shits aren't they? I've had a horrid work thing happen to me this week (long story). I just hate it. Some of the biggest stresses in my life have been caused by bullshit in the workplace. So glad things got cleared up for you. It shouldn't have happened at all.
Nelly I do hope you're ok. Don't give up hope just yet.
Art happy birthday and well done on getting through the transfer. Hope you manage to have a lovely relaxing weekend, and indeed next 2 weeks. I am liking Tom and Jerry, hope they are chasing each other round in there! Am keeping everything crossed for you.
Doll I did enjoy your description of your EC day. You are very funny, and also have balls of steel. Another scene for 'Doll - the movie'. I am thinking of the Beirut 4 getting it on under a discoball to some lebanese barry white - sure they're having a great time. Fingers crossed for you, keep us posted.
Gin your emotional changes are a good sign, it's a tough old game isn't it, keep going not long now till you find out. When is test day? Thinking of you. Attacking old ladies perfectly acceptable under the circumstances.
Rabbit so glad you are feeling more like yourself. Re the weight thing I can't help much I'm afraid I am the opposite type in that if I lose concentration I find I have finished the jar / eaten DH's share / have eaten so much started to feel sick etc. Since stopping the gluten though I definitely have lost some weight. 43 is a lot of New Years resolutions! I normally make 3 so will have to up the ante this year!
Critter you're always so chirpy. I loved your description of you being an over sharer and ratelling around like a raccoon in the trash. DH always calls me a 'basher'. As in 'oops another little bash on the car / iPad' . Oh and I LOVE that Adam sander movie! It's up there with The Anchorman!!
Mellow and Heart great news - so good to have reminders of what comes next!
Buzzy I am still umming and ahhing about the life coach. How did you find yours? Maybe something for my New Years list.
Joy that is sooooo interesting to me about your af just stopping. I went to see the infections guy you did today - thanks so much for the recommendation. He was very nice and at pains not to get my hopes up, but he said I had a surprisingly high amount of inflammation of the cervix - at the upper end of the spectrum in his words, and has prescribed more anti-bs for both of us. I still get so much spotting between af's. last cycle 12 days in addition to normal af days. How's Roy doing? DH has been quite glum about everything this week which is so unlike him.
Euro the infections guy I saw today recommended his colleague from the doctors laboratory for additional sperm tests like fragmentation and oxidisation (?) - think we will investigate so will report back.
Big waves to Sar and Pout and MrsD and anyone else I missed.
Finally on the subject of telly, anyone else getting ridiculously excited about The Killing series 3 starting this weekend? I am slightly in love with Sarah Lund.
sar I'm so bloody furious what a load of fucking shite. Your big boss is just as much at fault as your line manager as she should have checked the facts were correct in the first place!!!! How dare the both of them make you feel guilty for putting the service under strain, I'd go ape shit if my boss or manager said that to me, its a load of bollocks!!! It is there job that they get paid for to manage staffing issues and to make sure there is enough cover for the service not yours.
No offence but no one is indispensable are they, and if the whole service is going to go belly up without you it doesn't say much for the rest of the team you work in. Don't even get me started with the bed blocking.................
Anyway rant over, I'm glad you have worked things out
doll at the wrong foot
nelly enjoy the film, have some yummy treats for me
gin big hugs and lots of zen vibes coming your way
There is so much to catch up on today, I've already forgotten most of what I want to say.
First off, nelly please don't despair yet. So much can change between scans, that talk of abandoning the cycle seems premature to me. Even if they only get one egg, then that is one egg that they can fertilise directly and as we always say, it only takes one! I know it's scary though, I'm sending you massive hugs.
doll your description of ec made me chuckle, although I'm sure it wasn't funny for you at the time. I'm so pleased the Beirut four are freed and doing their thing. Did they go for ICSI in the end?
artemis well done on getting this far. It's just the waiting now. How do you feel about twins? The weight thing is really interesting. I'm also at the low end of healthy BMI. I had been trying to eat more but it doesn't seem to have much effect on me. I met up with a friend I hadn't seen for a month or so and the first thing she said was "have you been ill? You look so thin." She didn't mean it as a compliment and she mentioned my weight several more times over the course of our dinner. I hadn't noticed that I'd lost weight so now I'm worrying. This same friend also told me she's been ttc for 3 months as is fed up it's taking so long, sigh. I almost spat my coffee out. I've decided she is not the person for me to confide in about ttc so I acted all ignorant about it all. I suspect she'll be pregnant by christmas. She did tell a story about a colleague who had been trying for 9 years, then went to the Dr complaining of food poisoning only to be told she was 2 months pregnant. I do like those stories.
I'm sorry not to name check but DH has just come in and is wanting attention. Waves to everyone.
sar totally agree with what buzzy has written. It is not your job to worry about staffing cover, that's what they're paid to do. Sounds like very poor succession planning to me, no one is going to be there forever and they should be ready for this.
ooooh just found out my ex husband has used my boy name what a cheek!!
Noooo buzzy that's you ok?
yeah I think its kind of funny, its their 3rd boy and I'm sure if the new wife knew it was my name she wouldn't have used it as she is not keen on me
sarlat I am glad your leave date has been sorted. I can't believe they were trying to prevent you leaving after your notice period. I am pretty sure they wouldn't have got far with that one.... And hurrah you get some leave too.
I've just been staffed on a new case. I badly needed something new and interesting, so this is good. However, it involves a trip to Korea, which is currently planned to take place.... during my holiday. At the moment, I am taking the view that it will all work itself out.... The trip might be postponed to the week after, which would be better, but would basically mean I fly back to the Maldives and a couple of days later fly to Korea.... Argh, time zone hell. I haven't told Mr Euro yet.
cosmos I look forward to hearing more about your investigations. I'm going to get the Greek tests done when my period arrives, then probably go back to Gorgy.
Cheeky fecker, buzz. My first boyfriend used my boy's name when he had a child. And then one of my closest friends used it for his firstborn. So it's definitely out now!
BTW, is anyone else slightly addicted to this link that is doing the rounds? (It's ok, not porn or anything!) kittycam
Kitten porn euro . Argh I might now be addicted too. Hope Dave doesn't catch me watching it...
buzzy did your ex know that was your boy name? If so, what a twat!
sar I'm so pleased your employees have finally seen sense. Wow, what a mess. Your little boss sounds mean.
Your friend sounds nice mrsd, commenting on your weight like that. When younger, I used to be really really skinny and people felt they could just comment on it. I hated it and no amount of eating seemed to change it <fondly thinks back to when she could eat as much cake and mars bars as she liked>. People rarely comment on people being fat, but think you're fair game if skinny. And she doesn't sound like the one to confide in...
cosmos your investigations sound interesting. Are you still feeling zen about stuff? We've not watched the killing, but suspect we'd love it and the Lund.
nellie hope bond was a good distraction and you feel better.
doll and artemis hope you are both ok today.
Right I need to get up and stop menkuling over non existent symptoms!
buzzy I can't believe the cheek of it. Hope that every time he says his son's name he thinks of you .
sar so glad that you came out on top and that your little boss has been revealed as the snivelling little rat she is (I have a slightly OTT dislike for this person that I don't know). Hope you're feeling totally self righteous now! GL for the job move/ op combo.
euro wow sounds like an exciting few weeks. Is this all before Christmas?
dollthat is an IVF story and a half! Great news that they got 4. You are the most laid back person I've ever 'met'.
art glad all went well. Fingers crossed for Rom and Rem. I would have been the same about freezing the other embies after all the work put in. Hope you have chance to celebrate your birthday properly when youre feeling up to it. It's interesting about the weight debate, rabbit. I am definitely at the top end of 'normal' and have
am still beating myself up about whether that is why I have struggled. In my clinic you see the full range though- very slim to much bigger than me. Who knows? But an excuse to indulge over Xmas sounds good to me
nelly how are you feeling today? I was thinking about you last night. On the day of my last IUI I was chatting to the nurse about how I only ever get 1 follie that gets anywhere near and how worried I was about it etc. She was buzzing because that morning they had pregnancy scanned someone that morning who was on her first round of ivf and had been stimming for weeks (wish I could remember exact time) and produced a grand total of 1 embie but it worked on that 1. She said they were already talking amongst themselves about how they would adapt her treatment for round 2 when they lady called with her BFP! She said that even in the most challenging circumstances she had seen it work. Don't give up hope. Xx
heart and mellow so, so pleased that the scans went well. Such a terrifying waiting game but it's another massive hurdle jumped.
joy that's interesting about the antibs changing your period and I meant to say a few days ago that your 28 day cycle is great news. Sounds like your body has had a bit of a rewire. Fx this leads to the desired goal- bloody soon!
gin how are you feeling? What dpo (can't remember how else they refer to it in IVF speak) are you on?
lemon I'm worried about you- are you ok?
mrsd you're right, that particular friend doesn't sound like the best one to confide in. Cheeky moo. Do try to find the right person though. I genuinely think it has helped me enormously.
Phew- massive post and have still missed some. Waves to critter, freedom and anyone missed.
Yesterday we had our scan, all seems fine at 6+5 and we could see a heartbeat. There's still a long way to go but my mind has been put to rest, for a few days at least! I think I might tentatively join the (very quiet) grads thread
which I may manage to keep up with more successfully Not sure about the rest of MN though, think I'd rather read! I will still be lurking here if that's ok, we are doing well with some hard won BFPs of late, I'm sure we'll get lots more and we will ALL end up on the grads board.
Thank you for the hand-holding, particularly recently with my nephew. Lots of love xxxx
Hi everyone. Well Bond was a bust as MrN managed to screw up booking the tickets. So came home and moped instead. And today he's gone off mountain biking so I'm on my own. Don't really need that so he's not in my best books. I am very low. I hear what you are all saying about 3 follies being enough but my problem really is they don't appear to be growing. Hence I'll end up with none. But I will keep going. In my heart though, I know I've been dealt the joker and I'm in that tiny minority who will never have their own baby .
I mentioned donor eggs to MrN last night, in an "i want to start giving this some thought" way, and he wasn't enthusiastic. That cheered me right up. Not.
On phone so won't name check other than to say hooray for heartbeat frannie I am so happy for you . And waves and loves and eternal thanks to everyone else. I will try to post on laptop later but going to a wedding so might not manage. Off to go and shovel shit now just to really cheer up my day . Will try to refrain from the mememe stuff.
Hug nelly see how things grow over the next few days, you really never do know.
Thank you Rabbit, you are so lovely as I know you are still fragile yourself. Hugs back. And you will be pleased to know shovelling shite has indeed improved my mood. It's given me time to process. For now we keep on. If this cycle is abandoned I will let my hair down on my honeymoon, try to get fat, keep shagging; then try another round on my own in the spring as some cycles are just better than others. We might go on donor egg wait list if MrN is happy. I'd look into natural as my body doesn't seem to like being told what to do; but I think the London logistics might defeat me.
So a plan, of sorts. In the meantime I've just shouted at my ovaries to wake them up a bit . I am officially loopy.
nelly glad shovelling shit helped clear the head a bit. I was 5mm at 5 days too, they are growing! Have a good time at the wedding. As the low IMB thing has come up again I'll add an observation, another lean one here but with a few extra lbs despite the loss of my wine calories in recent months. I don't have a sweet tooth but have taken a liking to dark choc with sea salt. I looked on the back of the packet last night 40g at 849 cal. Well, I guess together with not skipping meals because 'too busy' this is helping replace the wine calories.
nelly I just wanted to reiterate that after 5 days stimming everything was small and my oestrogen was low. In fact it stayed that way for about 15 days and the nurse looked surprised and worried (never a great combo) and I cried after the scan because I thought my body just wasn't responding. They increased the dose a tiny bit, and that's when everything started to grow and leap into action like crazy. I honestly can't believe that they are talking about cancelling the cycle at 5 days stimming without even trying to tweak the dose of FSH first. I just wanted to offer you a massive hand squeeze and say that you (and the doctor) need to give it more time. Obviously I'm not medically qualified but my experience was very similar to yours in terms of being a slow grower.
doll was going to say yesterday that your experience - and Ken's - sounded horrific and you are amazing, both of you, for going through it. Really, I take my hat off to you both - I think it's fantastic how you've managed. I hope you get some rest this weekend. I too love chocolate with sea salt (although rather unhelpfully, I like the fattier milky kind rather than the sophisticated dark).
Yay frannie - so glad that you heard a heartbeat, must be a huge relief. So pleased for you.
sar that story about your workplace beggars belief. I would love to be a fly on the wall when big boss gets hold of sneaky underling boss. Talk about stress that you don't need at the moment.
euro thanks for the kitty link, great fun.
cosmos thanks for saying I am chirpy <proud> I think the fact that my hormones are basically non-existent at the moment may have something to do with it!
gin hope you are ok - not long now.
Sorry not to namecheck more - racing off to a poetry coffee morning with a couple of the people I met on my little retreat earlier in the summer, and I am going to try to drive there. It's only about 20 minutes away, but embarrassingly, I am still a little anxious about driving in the States - nervous that I'm going to go on the wrong side of the road. I got an email from my boss yesterday saying that his boss thinks our office is overstaffed and that I should think about other ways to fund my job and/or ways to show I am earning my keep - awesome. If it weren't for the fact that my insurance covers IVF and the office gives good maternity leave, I would be hightailing it out of there. If I had known my job wasn't secure, I would have got a round of IVF in before Christmas. <grumble> Oh well. I will finagle some way to cling on until the work insurance has paid for me to have a baby. And I was getting bored at work, so at least this is adding a frisson of drama!
critter I didn't know you could get a milk choc version, wow, more than 849 cal in 40g? This world is a crazy place. Thanks for your kind words about me and Ken and the no frills IVF. It's fine really, every bloody thing we have ever done has been ridiculous in some regard so this feels no different
it's a bloody laugh compared to the adoption Shite regarding email from your boss, likely will come to nothing, but who needs it? And you are on a winner with the insurance so you'll have to keep it up! I too am bored with the work I'm starting, or trying to start and am having a bad attitude towards my employer bout a different issue which is affecting my ability to focus. Grrr.
euro Korea you say, mmm I like it.
north or south?
nelly as another drip feed addition re simming and the drugs, just to say my drugs were not even tweaked and I got there. I don't get the impression my Dr is into tweaking, one size fits all. Not saying that's the way to go just that I still got there.
Critter I am resting today, I'm surprised that I'm still very sore. I wonder how the 4 little hostages are doing, there in the dark, not so much as a ransom note.....
yay to kitty porn, they are sleeping now, I spend alot of time on youtube looking
laughing at other peoples cats my fav is the two cats on the treadmill
yes he knew I liked the name it was the one we had talked about for our kids, its Daniel by the way, I've liked it for years and is the boys name I always come back to. Ha thanks frannie I imagine he felt he couldn't mention it to the new insecure mrs without suffering alot of grief and congrats on your scan
nelly I don't see why they can't up your dose, its not ideal but if it helps and saves the cycle then they should do it, like I said before they could give you progynova to help with the oestrogen. I think it was the 4th cycle of SO before they got the stimms right so they have to be willing to change things for you, it is still early in the cycle for you, I have now come round to the idea of DE, I think it was after talking to rabbit when she said that at least you have carried the baby so it would be apart of you. The baby might have only Barrys DNA but if I have carried it then I have bonded with the baby from the start, although here in the UK a child can look up its donor and the waiting list is longer, overseas there is little record of the donor and the waiting list is about 5-6 months. Anyway that is for consideration in the future, right now you need to concentrate on this cycle, my fingers are crossed for you on Monay, big hugs x
critter thats great that you have to now justify why you should have a job isn't funding your job their concern?? enjoy your poetry meet up
euro you are becoming a right jet setter, must get exhausting at times though
x posts with doll at your 4 hostages, can I ask did you adopt in Europe or when you were in Africa??
The kitty porn was cute!
Critter and Doll thank you for reminding me of your progress at this stage. And Buzzy I will ask about the progynova (sp?) and see what they say. Doll I'm glad you got there without a change in drugs. And was it frannie earlier with the success story after weeks of stimming? I like that one too .
It is hailstoning here. I have to put on a dress and go out. Eugh. Or Wigh as iPhone wanted to say .
Forgot to say Korea sounds intriguing Euro. I'm hoping South. I think? My knowledge of Asian politics is ropey to say the least.
Buzzy I am defo coming round to DE too. Mr N asked how I'd feel if the baby looked like him but obviously not me. I said I'd be fine with that because for me the baby would be like someone I already love. Plus carrying the baby and giving birth would be quite a bond. But I wondered almost if it would be harder for him? Esp I think if its a girl? But I can only imagine the love is unconditional. Doll can maybe share from an adoptive perspective? Grr sorry phone posts always sound curt and illiterate. I'm not at DE stage yet, but I'm concluding there could be way worse things in the world for us to deal with.
buzzy and nelly this thread is interesting donor eggs or adoption?
buzzy as far as I understand adoption is divided into three types (1) domestic (2) international (3) in-country. We are not able to do domestic and did a rather complex version of international, we intend to try for an in-country next.
nelly I'm pretty sure it's South Korea
Awww, love the kittycam, they're sleeping now but look so cute. Korea souns interesting euro. Have you been before? My one and only interesting fact is that they have the highest percentage of women who've had plastic Surgery there. Very useful to know.
Nelly, I still think a lot can change day to day when you're stimming. Try not to lose hope.
Buzzy, grr to your favourite name being pinched.
Doll, I'm thinking of the Beirut 4. When will you get an update on their situation?
The friend who commented on my weight used to be very slim but has put on weight in the last year. So, I suspect she said it to me to make herself feel better. I have always found that people will comment on weight to slim women in a way they wouldn't to overweight people. I'm more upset that she's ttc, 3 months and already getting worried. I just know she'll be pregnant soon like everyone else manages. This one will fall into the unfair category for me. She's a few years younger, not in a secure job, her dh is a mummys boy who still acts like he's a teen, they live in a tiny flat. All very judgy of me but I think it should be me before her. She is quite immature. I've turned into a barren, nasty person. Oh, I hate what ttc has done to me.
Evening all. No way I will remember even a quarter of the things that I wanted to say. There's been so much going on!
nelly do have faith. You've had so much good advice from everyone with experience of this torturous process. We shall all cross fingers and toes and see what happens next week xx
mrsden go easy on yourself about the and feelings. I get them all the time. I really don't think it's representative of the type of person I am in the rest of my life and I am confident that it will all pass when this phase of my life is over.
Going back to the discussion about telling friends, I think that it's easier for me to tell people because the "problem" is with me. Emergency surgery also meant that people knew something was wrong (although colleagues thst i only see in passing were left to believe that it was just appendicitis) and they understand why we might be having problems. I think that I would find it harder to tell people if it was mr mad that had the problem - almost like I was outing him. He's a much more private person than I am.
As for BMI I don't know what mine is but I definitely have a sufficient layer of fat. About 5'5" and a size 10 which I'm pretty happy with at the moment. Recovering from my lap over christmas (so def not pregnant) means I will no doubt gain lots of wine and cheese calories!!!!
I'll be keeping all the ivf'ers in my thoughts and lots of hugs to those of you who have been feeling low.
Hope you all have happy and restful Sundays.
Hi all, following on from all the recent discussions about weight, bmi, diet etc I thought I would type a bit about what I've been reading today just in case it's of interest to anyone else.
So have any of you read into or heard of the 'Eat right for your type' plan / diet which sets out a different way of eating / exercising based on your blood type? I actually bought this book a year ago but never got very far with it. After I've been feeling so much better since stopping the gluten I thought I'd have another look at what it said for my blood type. So the theory behind this is that based on our blood type we can determine what type of biological system we have / what our ancestry predicts would suit our system best. I'm type O which is the most common - the book calls type O's the 'Hunter' and says this type retains the memory of ancient hunter-gatherer days and subsequently it does better on high protein diet and intense physical exercise that most closely resembles what would have been done /eaten historically for survival. It specifically says that wheat gluten is not tolerated by this digestive type, as this wouldn't have been available and this type has not adapted, and eating it will interfere with metabolic rate and cause weight gain. The book also says type O's are prone to an over active immune system. Anyway it all reads very true to what I've been finding out about my system over the past year. Of course the book says that adherence to the right plan for your blood type can cure a whole host of conditions including infertility. Hmm, well it's certainly an interesting theory. I personally find it comforting to think there are things like this we can do to help things along a bit and its not all in the hands of the doctors, so hope that some of you find this likewise. It says blood type A is the Cultivator, has farming ancestry and does best on a vegetarian diet. Type B is The Nomad with most flexible dietary choices and responds best to stress with creativity. Type AB is a more modern type and has a very sensitive digestive tract. There's whole lists of foods and activities that are beneficial, neutral or are to be avoided for each type, along with more of the science part which I obviously skipped to go straight to the plan! Must be the hunter in me!
Anyway, happy weekends all. Nelly, Art, Gin and Doll thinking of you all. It's a brave thing you're all doing.
doll thanks for the link, I have just spoken to Barry about it and made him cry not the best way to commence shag week, anyway he said he thought there were more risks with DE and the body rejecting it, I said my body is already rejecting my own so it can't be any worse, he is also open to adoption now so something to think about, although I think I would be keen on overseas adoption but that is something to think about in the future, I personally feel quite calm about it all even slightly excited, I believe that I will get a baby somehow, and I don't really care how anymore, obviously I'm not going to steal one
mrsd I know what you mean about it should be you before her, I feel I have waited long enough and it must be my turn now, its totally natural to feel like that, still they might have problems..........
on the weight thing, I'm a fatty( size 16/18) and I can assure people do comment on it!!!, I don't mind thin people saying things but get peeved when other fatties have a pop. One woman went on about the size of my arse, I said rather sarcastically 'well at least one of us is worried about it' Create are the only people who suggested I lose some weight re TTC, Dr doom and gloom was surprised by my BMI and kept checking it then said well if you could get that down abit........... I'll start on Monday
oooh the kittycam is soooo cute
x posts with mad and cosmos
mad i know what you mean about being you and not him, although I think for us its a bit of both but I feel I have to protect him from it all which is a bit silly, but I feel I am the stronger one to deal with it all now. Cheese is my weakness I just love the stuff
cosmos any advice for an A+ Vege would be appreciated
Buzzy it says for sensitive type A's it's particularly important to get foods in as natural a state as possible; fresh, pure and organic. Type A's will not tolerate well overly processed and refined foods. Eating meat will make type A's feel sluggish and less energised and cause fluid retention. Type A's have low acid content to their stomachs. Dairy is also tolerated not very well, as type A's create blood antibodies to the primary sugar in whole milk. soya cheese and soya milk are good. wheat is ok but not too much. Foods that encourage weight loss in type A's are vegetable oils, soya foods, vegetables and pineapple. Chicken, turkey and seafood are fine. Cereals and whole grains are good. Regards stress it says type a does not respond well to continuous confrontation and their immune system gets warn down. They need exercises that provide calm and stillness like yoga or moderate walking / swimming.
What do you think, sound like you or not?
well I like my dairy, especially my cheese, I could try soya milk, I don't cope well with stress and do have immune issues and yoga, walking and swimming are what I enjoy so it should work for me, its not so much what I eat but the amount
See first Q and A.
The kitties have woken up. I can see this could be a very addictive site. Where are they? They're not being exploited like the Truman show for our entertainment are they?
The blood type stuff is so interesting. I read something a while back about a link between o blood type and infertility. I'm not o so I wasn't too interested at the time. Might be worth a google for those of you with o and unexplained.
Buzzy, what a cow who said about your bum. I would never comment on someone elses weight, so nasty.
I've just seen via fb that a few friends have organised a mum's night out next month. Of course I haven't been invited because I'm out of that clique. I'm thinking I need to reavluate a lot of old friendships, now they've moved on and live in different worlds.
mrsd at the kitties being exploited, the mum is gorgeous, I'm not bothered by my weight, I think its funny that she was
do you really want to listen to a bunch of women talking about their sprogs??? You still have your own identity
No way would I want to go on that night out. They've all had babies within the last 6 months. The conversation will be dull, dull and baby centred. But it's highlighted that I'm not in the in clique if you know what I mean. I don't want to be, but it's made me realise that I'm going to drift away from people I'd previously considered good friends.
Buzzy, you do right not to be bothered by your weight. It's always boring when someone frets over it, especially when they project their issues onto another person, like I think my friend did yesterday.
your friend is responsible for the size of her own arse and should try and make you feel bad because of it, you might feel you are drifting away from some close friends but I believe people come in and out of your life at different times for different reasons, just think in the future you'll have new friends who have more in common with you
Oh yea buzzy, that makes sense. I spent some time last week with a friend who is single (so no baby or pregnancy talk) and I realised how much more relaxed I felt around her. It's these sorts of friendships I'm going to consciously invest more in.
they are the ones that are worth the effort
mrsd I went to one of those awful nights out. It was a dinner organised by a friend who was moving away so felt that I really had to go. They talked about schools and dance classes and went on and on about their kids all night. I'm sure I will be the same when the time comes but the whole evening left me feeling pretty rotten. I've seen people complain on mn about their childless friends butting in and giving advice but I don't understand what we're supposed to do at these things. Either you join in Or you sit there like a numpty
On a much lighter note - Loving nina conti on live at the apollo. Turning real people into ventriloquist's dummies is inspired
madness and Mrsd people who talk about their kids 24/7 drive me crazy, good friends with kids I know it's fine as A SUBJECT not the only bloody thing that exists. There are a bunch of kids knocking around here who can say the alphabet backwards in 5 languages when they are two, that kind of shit. I tend to say "oh mine is crap at that kind of stuff but then we don't rate education very highly in our family". Works a treat.
I'm here to report another detail from the EC which I recounted to Ken last night when it occurred to me that they never warned me before they knocked me out.
One minute Dr Rock was in the room chatting to me while putting on his gown (Dr, I've seen ER, you are supposed to do this before coming in the room) then he sat on his stool between my
frostbitten legs. It went like this:
me: you've got a funny old job haven't you?
him: yep, if I had my time again I might think twice
me: oh, thanks for letting me know now..
And that was that.
You could write a book doll, that cracked me up. I wonder what he'd prefer to be doing?
I know this is from the dm, and by that woman but I identify ith some of this
Mrsden I really identified with some of what she said as well. I was shocked by some of the comments under the article. There were a few that were sympathetic, all from women also struggling with infertility, but the rest were along the lines of "shut up, stupid woman, nobody cares". I know Samantha Brick is not the most popular woman in the country after the Mail hung her out to dry last time but it suggests an indifference towards the pain of infertility coupled with a level of misogyny that is really quite ugly.
Doll you really should write your memoirs. I'm also wondering what kind of job he would prefer... car mechanic? How are you feeling? I'm still getting ovary twinges five days post EC but that's probably not surprising since they've been stabbed repeatedly with a big needle. The consultant said they would be swollen for a while.
Madness and Mrsd I no longer hang out with friends who bang on about their kids the whole time. It's tedious and they manage to subtly or unsubtly make you feel like an outcast because you can't join in, or tell you how ignorant you are when you try to. I've come to the conclusion that the people who had interesting lives before children, and were interested in things outside themselves, tend not to do that. The ones who spent their twenties just waiting to get married and then have kids are the ones I now avoid. Unfortunately this includes members of my own family. I pick and choose my friends carefully these days.
Sar I can think of many words for your little boss but none that I would like to use right now. I hope she gets what she deserves and glad you have got it sorted.
Nelly how are you doing? Have you made up with Mr N? They can be idiots. I had to remind Mr A yesterday, as he loaded me up with shopping from the car, that I'm meant to be taking it easy and specifically not lifting anything heavy (I'm not sure how that squares with your 3-year-old Doll but I reckon carrying shopping is not essential to my life). I swear he rolled his eyes. It'll be interesting to see what it's like if I do get pg. I can envisage him striding off into the far distance while I waddle along behind him with a load of heavy bags
Critter a poetry coffee morning sounds lovely. The threat over your job, however, does not. Is your insurance portable if you were to move or is it tied to the job? Sounds like the latter. Not good.
Gin how are you doing with the symptom spotting? What day are you testing? I have had an array of abdominal aches, pangs, stabs and gurgles and trying not to obsess over them. I think a lot are because the progesterone seems to have shut down my digestive system - they warned me it might but consequently I'm bloated and uncomfortable and i can't work out what's the result of EC/ET and what's just food... It's going to be a long 10 days but i'm trying to continue the one day at a time thinking, seems to have helped so far.
It's been a quiet weekend here. Mostly I am pleased that the immediate future is free of the prospect of fanny camming and of having a gang of strangers staring up my chuff. I'm over that. Every time a nurse slips a condom over that horrid probe I wonder how often they clean it. They must do, right? They can't just rely on the condoms? I want to turn up to each appointment with rubber gloves, domestos and a scrubbing brush
Really interested in the weight discussion and particularly the blood type diet stuff. I don't even know which blood type i am. Though I do find it very interesting that here is a bunch of intelligent women whose BMI is the lower end of normal talking about not wanting to put on weight or actively wanting to lose it. The media imagery we get bombarded with constantly is so strong, I wonder how much of a part that has to play in our subconscious thought processes. The Heat circle of shame and its ilk have a lot to answer for - I'm aware of how the media objectifies women and I know it's crap but I'm still not free of its influence. I've got friends who are both very under and very overweight and both have had unwanted, intrusive and very unkind comments from strangers. I wonder what motivates people to feel it's their right to comment on someone else's body?
Right, enough thinking, I'm off to look at the kitty cam
art the first time I was pregnant Barry made me carry a vacuum cleaner part of the way home, the second time I constantly reminded him of it and called him an 'aussie male' when he expected me to carry stuff
The comments made by other people(about weight) are more of a reflection about themselves then the person they are making it to. I can't say advertising and the media has had much affect on me
obviously otherwise I would have a small arse again I think it depends on how you feel about yourself as to how you react to all the bombardment.
the article was interesting mrsd she did set herself up in the past but you have to admire her honesty. I have to agree that alot of how you deal with things depends on how you feel about yourself, that is what life coaching has taught me, sounds like she has had a similar experience.
Well I don't have to kid stories to bore you to death with but have plenty of cat ones, we are on the 9th floor with a little balcony and netting up to protect Kayla, well I was ironing and she went out on the balcony so i looked out and found that she had got through the netting and was sitting on the other side on a thin ledge with nothing between her and the ground 9 floors below!! I managed to get her back through, she is fine but Barry and I were freaked out by it all, oh and she has now knocked the tupperware container with her treats onto the kitchen floor better go sort the demanding little fur ball out................
art I was a bit at the comments on that article as well but I think that's mostly because I hadn't heard of her before and didn't realise that she was already a rather controversial figure. I'm also all for having a positive outlook but I also want to be sure that I have an end point at which I will move on to adoption rather than living 15 years of my life actively trying to get pregnant.
And I wish I could do away with the god awful dildo cam for a while too. The room always seems very clean but it is still disconcerting to know that that thing is put inside any number of women every day.
buzzy glad to hear that kayla survived her daredevil escapades. As a kid our dog
with about one functioning brain cell managed to get kicked in the chest by a horse because he thought that he was one of them and hit by a car with only some bruising as a result. My poor mum was much more traumatised.
Off to fertility clinic tomorrow morning. This appointment is slightly superfluous since the lap is soon and there's not much he can do before then but we decided against cancelling the appointment because we don't want to fall out of the loop. Think I'm going to ask about counselling. I know that you can access it once you are ready for ivf but I think that I might like to try some now. Having trouble with motivation at work and mood swings with dh. Talking to someone who isn't a friend or relative (and isn't in cyberspace ) can't hurt can it?
Settling in for strictly results.......
Aw loving the kittens! I emailed the link to my mum but they were sleeping so it looked like it wasn't working....
I feel like I missed a lot of chatting even though I only posted yesterday. Am I a bit dense for not knowing who the lady in the article is? Loads of it resonated and I thought do just slap myself round the head by reading the comments. Wow! Babies aren't a woman's right don't you know. Well that's ok I'll just rock up at the local orphanage and everything will be just fine in a blink of an eye. Jesus.
I've felt poo today. I have a horrible feeling that a wisdom tooth infection is a brewing. I'm on the last infection before the evil bastard is officially allowed to be evicted. Before ttc I'd have been all up for that but as poking and anaesthesia and me have rather outstayed each others company, the little shit is just going to have to stay put but please no no no to the evil metronidazole. Am brushing and gargling with salt and praying.
It is with rather sad heart that I feel more and more sure that I can't go through with ivf. This has been praying on my mind a lot and you know, I don't think it will be the path I go down. My body has been through such a lot already and will never be the same again. And whilst I'm in awe of you ladies going through it at the moment, I can't imagine being able to do it. No more gowns/canulas/needles no no no. I've no idea if ill change my mind about this but until I'm really really ready, I think it would be pretty daft to get the ball rolling. I just needed to put this out there and see how it felt written down. I'm not temping or anything this month. There doesn't seem a lot of point. I do wonder if I'm actually a little down at the moment. I have never been depressed. Bt I'm starting to wonder if this is what it feels like. Or maybe it's just sad. Maybe I should start taking my vit d again.
I've been thinking of the Beirut 4, rem and rom, sapphire and gin and nelly a lot and am cheering you all on from my little hibernation hole. I hope you've had a good weekend and hope time isn't dragging too slowly.
I had a long chat with a good friend today and feel a lot better that whilst things are different now they all have babies, they aren't going anywhere and it isn't always like Facebook makes out. The right things got said and I needed that.
madness I think you're right to keep the appointment rolling. I'm due to make mine in the new year. I'll be clinging on to the end of January before I make the call! And I'd never thought of the day in the life of a fannycam. Yak. I don't actually mind it. But a 45 minute session one time got a bit much. joycep I'd still like one of my own!
cosmos I'm o positive. I found this out this summer in the near blood transfusion terror. Bummer about the fsh levels! But then, my grandmas are both o and had babies in their 40s. And 47% of the population are o+ so I'm going to try and shelve that worry. I was a bit pissed off I wasn't rare
This has been rather a self indulgent me post. I'm sure if I look back to last November I will be similarly miserable. I try to be yogi like and embrace each season but who am I kidding, I am summer girl. Wave to the 10plus massive.
Oh and art v thoughtful comments about the weight. It's been a curse for me. Though having an ex that monitored my weight didn't help (shit). But I have just eaten a massive roast and three Yorkshire puddings. Yum!
Rabbit I am at your ex. I agree with what Art was talking about weight and media. We hit our prime teenage years just as the whole heroin chic look came in and I remember being convinced I was humongous as a 9.5 stone size 10 and used to do some very shameful and embarrassing (to me) eating habits. Weight /self-esteem are so entwined aren't they.
Ivf is gruelling and I think if you're not feeling really up for it at the moment then that's a good decision.
Btw what's going on your list43???
That article was interesting though she does sound a little unbalanced to me.
I wrote a long (very intelligent and amusing, obv) post and just lost it.
Basically it was a huge hug to Rabbit and lots of other replies. You'll just have to use your imagination .
Am feeling rather nervous about tomorrow. I have some slight feelings in the ovaries. And the spotting seems to have stopped. So fingers crossed things are moving in the right direction. But I am not holding my breath.
Doll good luck tomorrow - hope the hostages have been ummm - freed? Remained in captivity? Not sure what the analogy is! Anyway, best of luck, hope you have some good ones to transfer. I can't believe they haven't told you.
I will post tomorrow after my next game of searching for a needle in a haystack. I will try to steal some of Doll's laissez-faire attitude and just assume my ovaries need time to wake up. I have shouted at them some more. That ought to do it.
Rushing off to work but wanted to say good luck to nelly and doll. You'll have all of us wishing you well today xx
Just popping in to say good luck to Doll and Nelly. Thinking of both of you today, hoping for some good news x
... and Madness too, hope you get some positive answers from your appointment. I found counselling very helpful so I would say it's worth asking.
Oh rabbit no one has to do IVF, put it aside for now. Things may change again. You have been through such a lot. Many many hugs.
nelly indeed the hosage analogy is somewhat confused. I'm going to see the situation in a couple of hours, thanks for the good luck and madness too. I'm in a cafe trying to work with little success, a had a meeting earlier this morning and the rest of it seems to have dissappeared in a sea of decaf.
Good luck to you too nelly hugs.
X -post artemis thanks. By the way I know what you mean about not being able to tell what is lady bits and what is food processing bits. I don't feel right either.
madness hope appointment goes well, full report required
Good luck today nelly and doll. And also to madness.
Rabbit, the decision over whether to have ivf or not is such a personal one. You have to go with what is right for you and hare. I know what you mean about not wanting the prodding, poking etc. I feel like that and I haven't actually had anything invasive done yet. So, I totally see why you'd think that. All I can tell you is how we reached the decision to go for ivf, but our situation is quite different so it's probably not useful to your thinking at all. I will explain it if you're interested.
Im really supposed to be writing a report, but my mind is blank. I'm waiting for af to show up, due any day I think. My boobs are very sore this month. And my nipples too, which is new for me. We will go for the baseline scan on day 26 or so of this next cycle so i want af to show up so it's closer. I just want to get started now.
doll that is some mega calorific chocolate! Are you sure that is not the figure for a larger quantity? The Lindt dark choc I have on my desk is 204 calories for 40g! Green & Blacks has brought out milk chocolate with sea salt, which is rather morish! I hope ET went well today!
frannie that is such good news about your scan. I am really pleased for you. Please do come back and update us about you and your nephew if you do move on!
nelly babies always look like their dads anyway, so I think that would happen DE or not! You are a long way from that at the moment though. The drs just need to get your drugs right, and you will have lovely little embies soon enough!
mrsd you are not a nasty person! It is very difficult not to be a bit bitter about the unfairness of how babies are doled out.
I think the kitties are in the US. If you are on facebook, have a look at TheCritterRoom - it is their homepage or whatever you call it. The mum was a stray and the kitties will be going for adoption when they are big enough I think.
BTW, it would definitely be South Korea! It would be quite fun to go, but all the travelling would make it an exhausting run up to Xmas.
ARGH! This post was twice as long and I have just managed to delete a load of it. I am not sure what else I had said! Damn my fat fingers! I always cc my posts before I hit post as I have lost so many to mumsnet tech issues, but somehow I managed to lose a load of it.
So sorry to everyone I have missed. I had named-checked you - promise, but I have to do some work now. Grrrrrrrr.
Hello. Hiding in loo to post as boss keeps catching me on my phone . So today was slightly better. The 2 lefties which were 2-5 are now 6-9mm. They had a good view of the right this time too. I have a 6-9 there, plus a 10mm. Wooooo hoooooo. Ok that's not big enough but a definite improvement. Lining had gone from 4.4 to 9.8 and spotting def stopped. Less doom and gloom from the nurse too. So the have retested bloods. Don't know that yet obv but the growth means they say keep going for now. I've to go back on Wednesday just cos drugs will have run out by then. Otherwise it would have been Friday. If no more development by Wed though they might suggest stopping. She asked if I'd go to theatre with just one. I said yes as it only needs one, and I had Frannies one embie story fresh in my mind. The nurse gave me an actual thumbs up when I said yes.
So my body has stepped up a gear. I actually patted my legs on the drive back and told my ovaries out loud that they had been clever .
Not out of the woods. But it was a change for the better at least.
Doll fingers massively crossed for you too.
Thanks again everyone for the support. It has made so much difference. X
Yay, that's good to hear Nelly. Clearly shouting at them worked!
Great news Nelly. I foresee a spate of 10+ers wandering around talking to our ovaries I'm sure now the follies have got going they'll continue to grow. I assume they've left your drug dose as it was?
Euro and Doll I am a fan of chocolate with sea salt too but I haven't even looked at the calorific content Looking forward to an update on the Beirut 4.
Just had some disappointing news from the embryologist. The six embryos they were culturing over the weekend to try to get to blast stage for freezing didn't make it . One got as far as blastocyst but was not good enough quality and the others didn't get that far. It makes me worry now about the ones they have put back. Obviously they used the two best ones but none of our embryos were great. It seems I stimulated well, produced lots of follies, had a good fertilisation rate but then average to poor quality embryos
Quiet in here today - everyone must be concentrating on their work apart from me...
Also meant to say to Rabbit, nobody's going to make you do IVF. It's a very personal decision as mrsden says. But you are a long way from that at the moment. Your body is readjusting, and given your BFP last month I don't think you're far off your big finger moment. It will happen. Don't worry about the stuff that isn't even on the table yet.
Mrsden I've got everything crossed for an ironic BFP for you. My mind's a blank today too as evidenced by my many posts on here!
I'm not concentrating on work, Art. Remember the womb is better for them than a Petri dish. And the one thing I've taken away from the woo is that now is the time more than ever to avoid stress hormones. Do not dwell on those embies for now. Do whatever you need to stay chilled. Distract yourself somehow, whether with the woo CDs or work or Christmas shopping or sudoku. Deep breaths. Channel your inner Edina Monsoon . Rom and Rem were the best remember <cheerleads>.
I too am hoping the growth keeps ongoing now. But I don't want to count my chickens yet.
Euro yes the shouting is obviously a previously undiscovered treatment. Just remember to dish out as much praise when they've been good .
<strokes tummy whilst whispering soothing words>. <gets weird looks from colleagues>
Yay nelly! Oh my goodness, what a relief, and hooray hooray for your clever ovaries. Fantastic news. Fingers crossed for Wednesday - we are all cheering them on.
rabbit I hope your tooth is better, you poor thing, that sounds very painful. And I totally understand about not wanting to do IVF - as others have said, you have to do what is right for you.
doll I agree - I would put your memoir on my Amazon wish list in a flash! I'm sure it wasn't so funny at the time though! Good luck today, I'll be thinking of you. You can buy the sea salt milk chocolate at Whole Foods here, it has toffee pieces in it too, and is really delicious. I wonder though if you could get the same effect with normal chocolate and then just a sprinkling of Maldon salt on top? <ponders>
madness good luck at your appointment.
euro I am loving the kitty cam. Korea sounds amazing - how long would the trip be for? Will you have to tell work not to arrange work-related travel for you during the IVF period?
buzzy what a scare about Kayla's escape artist antics - glad she is ok.
gin not long now, hope you are ok during the stressful wait.
cosmos I don't know what my blood type is, just that it is negative (as apparently both my parents are negative types).
sar how are you feeling? I hope you had a relaxing weekend.
artemis That's disappointing about the extra embryos - but as you say, they picked the best quality ones to put back, and as someone here said recently, your lovely warm womble is a much better place for the embies than a petri dish. Your embies have every chance of making it in the more comfy environs of your uterus. I see them putting their feet up, popping the kettle on, and snuggling in under the duvet for a long ride. Come on Castor and Pollux!
My health insurance is tied to the job - it also covers MrC's health insurance as he is effectively freelance. It just adds another layer of complication onto job worries. We will be ok either way, we have savings, and I have hatched a cunning plan to try to encourage them to keep me.
mrsd sorry you're feeling crap pre-AF. I totally understand wanting to get on with the cycle as soon as possible.
All ok here - it's Thanksgiving on Thursday so this will be a three-day week as we get Friday off too, thank goodness. I've been feeling a little blue this weekend, just due to a lot of baby chat among MrC's pals (one of whom is lovely but had got really upset about having been trying for three months without success - I told her about ovulation sticks and that it's supposed to be only a 20% chance every month, even if you're doing it at the right time, for non-barrens). She was very sweet and thanked me and said it made her feel better - but I did feel a little like the Ancient Mariner of fertility woes, with my albatross around my neck/slothful ovaries. On the other hand, my poetry coffee morning was lovely. The lady who hosted (it was just three of us there) made oatmeal muffins and had a hot milk frother (the height of luxury, yum) and she also told me that all four of her grandchildren had IVF beginnings. She showed me pictures of them and they were so cute - a baby and sweet little four, five and seven year olds. And she told me that it took both her DDs several rounds of IVF to produce them. So that made me feel better. The other guy there, who's probably in his sixties, told me that it took him and his wife years to have their children and that he remembered being in a department store years ago and seeing someone pregnant and wanting to go up to her and say 'How did you do that?' because it seemed so impossible. People can be so kind.
Oh yes same dose. They said they'd only really up it if I was about 80kg (I'm low 50's) and that I'd just pee more out.
Rabbit, Art also just said what I'd posted last night but lost. You won't need IVF.
Hi nelly, that's great news! Well done nellie follies! It doesn't sound like they are growing particularly slowly to me. Maybe I should have shouted at mine to calm down and stop with the whole over stimulation thang ;)
art sorry to hear the other embryos didn't make it, but my clinic is adamant that in mum is the best place for them. They prefer 3 day to 5 day transfers. Hope you are doing ok. Any symptoms yet?
doll good luck for later! Do you know how many you will have put back??
madness hope your appointment goes ok.
critter sorry to hear you were feeling a bit blue, but not long until your ivf cycle. I love the story about the ivf grandkids. Brave ladies to go through it so many times.
buzzy at kayla's antics. I've heard of cats going mental for dreamies.
cosmos Intersting about the blood group thing. Dave is o, maybe that's why he's infertile! It is interesting how much infertility focuses on women and there tends to be little research into male factor. Or maybe it just feels that way to me!
mrsd not long until your ivf cycle too. Do they decide at the scan what protocol you will be on?
Awww rabbit, I would only advise starting ivf if you are 100% committed to it. It's such a hard hard thing to do and I do think you have to be ready for it. I just don't think I can do it again, although will do a FET and iui.
euro I am now officially addicted to the kitties. Err don't they eat them in Korea?!
Waves to everyone else.
I'm turning into a bit of an emotional wreck and am pretty convinced the cycle hasn't worked. On Saturday I thought I had some good symptoms - sore boobs, ovary twinges, nausea- so did a cheapie early hpt on Sunday, which was negative. I now have a migraine type thing today (typical pre-af thing for me) and the period pains are getting worse. Last night I cried when Dave did the clexane - it really hurt and bled a fair bit. I'm quite tempted to stop with them..
I know I tested a bit early - otd is thurs- but I suspect it's real. Ivf is a numbers game, but I feel like these were good quality embryos and should have worked. I feel like I'm never going to be pregnant, ever, despite all the effort we've put in. It's all so fucking unfair.
Sorry for the moaning, I don't want to bring down/put off any of the other ivfers. Just needed to off load.
Oh Gin. Massive hand hold. You know it was too early to test? They do blood tests on the earliest possible date they would get a result, so an HPT 4 days early would stand no chance of showing a positive even if you were pg. Hang in there. I know it's tough but try not to spot symptoms either of AF or pregnancy - as far as I can tell the symptoms are the bloody same either way but worrying about them won't make any difference to the outcome. Please throw these words back at me this time next week! I've had lots of abdominal cramping but tbh I can't tell whether it's womble or just my digestion complaining about the effects of the progesterone. The only way I am getting through the wait is to take one day at a time and specifically not let myself speculate about what might happen either way. I'm giving you a very gentle nudge with a foil wrapped chocolate fish. And you're not bringing me down - offloading is what this thread is all about.
I know what you mean about not wanting to do IVF again. I said the same thing while I was coming round from EC, it is a serious undertaking both physically and emotionally, but given that we've got an NHS cycle in the offing i probably will find myself doing it if it comes to that. At least I will know what to expect and know what I can and can't take on work wise.
Critter I'm glad your poetry morning was good and you met some lovely people who made you feel better. Good to know they are out there.
I'm turning into a right thread hog today <snuffles>. I'm sorry. I'm off to do what I'm supposed to be doing today and putting myself on an official MN ban for the rest of the day
Thanks artemis! <Scoffs the chocolate fish> You are right about symptoms being the same whatever the outcome and I think the progesterone must create symptoms all of its own. If I was having a pregnancy blood test, it'd be tomorrow, but I refuse to pay £50 to have another needle stuck in me, which is why otd is a bit later. Feels a bit like I'm prolonging the agony, but I'd rather get up and pee and then know, rather than spending the whole day waiting for the phone call.
Just viciously swept up some leaves in the garden and feel a bit better!
So I've lost my post twice. First I typed on the iPad without being logged in, then on the laptop and turned back a page without posting first. I'm distracted little Doll is being a lunatic and Ken is missing in action still. So he couldn't make the ET, I knew that but he also failed to give us a drive home to avoid the usual insane traffic, on foot, in the dark.
My special ET treat It's a legit bad day for him but I'm a bit mad as I have a feeling that I will not be seeing him til late tonight as there is some evening thing too.
nelly well done, you are well on the way. Good for you. Artemis that is disappointing but the most important part is done and the best are already making themselves at home. gin sorry about the upsetting early test, it's easy done. Please can you ladies help me with what day PT is advised for a test (wee not blood) I ask because a 'heated discussion' broke out in the op room after my ET today on this issue with no clear resolution (FFS)
critter I'm glad you have a cunning plan. I know how important insurance is in the States. Errrr euro I was amazed at the cals on my chocolate, 'twas why I posted it. Hard to believe right? That's because it's bullshit, I was reading the kJ line. I'm a total knob. I will admit here that I have in the past been paid to basically calorie count so I'm more than a little
But Doll, do you have embies on board and how many???? Details needed!!!
Lol at the calories but grrr to Ken and surgery fighting.
Proper reply later x
That's fantastic news nelly. The others were right that it was way too early to be talking about giving up on this cycle. Will keep my fingers crossed for the next scan
Try to stay calm gin. I really don't think that you can tell from Af signs. Lots of my friends thought they were getting their periods but ended up pregnant instead. Given that I had every pregnancy symptom known to man in the first six months of trying and have never been pregnant goesto show that sometimes you just can't trust what your body's telling you.
mrsden I totally understand just being ready to get started! We realised today that it had been more than a year since our first fertility appointment. These things just drag on for what feels like an eternity.......
critter stories from people who have properly been through this always make me feel better - not random anecdotes of somebody's sister's cousin's best friend..... I'm happy they made you feel better too.
As for me, the clinic appointment was strangely reassuring for once. There wasn't really a lot of news but I asked about my left tube (where there was no hydrosalpinx visible on the scan) and he said even if it is blocked or scarred he will only remove the hydro because it is that that will affect ivf. Made me feel less panicky about waking up with no tubes and ivf as my only way of getting pregnant. He also said that the ivf waiting list is currently about 15 months but because they backdated us to march (when the first consultant said she'd put us on the list but apparently didn't) we could get to the top of the nhs list by May or June. That would give me enough time to recover from surgery and still get my first round in before the dreaded 35th birthday. Would be wonderful to get some nhs rounds and keep our savings for if we need a third or
heaven forbid fourth attempt. And if the nhs rounds worked I might just get a new bathroom instead of paying for a baby
Oh and he said he'll put Ian referral for counselling but wanted to reassure me that things are moving and time is still on my side. He seemed a bit surprised that I wanted to go for counselling. Dh says that I come across as quite calm and in control when in the clinic
in contrast to tearful and maudlin or hysterical at home
Wow that turned into an essay. Off to get some reports written. Have a lovely evening everyone!!
X-post doll and nelly. Asking about a test must mean that things went well. Does someone need to name one embie or two?
Wow So much to catch up on. Weekends are normally quiet on here.
Nelly wo what a scare and then what a relief. I am pretty cross by your nurses bedside manners the other day. The doom and gloom is unnecessarily worrying...surely she knows everyone grows at a different rate, a few days can make a huge difference as can different amount of drugs. Obviously you need to know the truth & we dont expect sugar coating but also she needs to tell you the whole story. Anyway, nelly, one day at a time, things are certainly on the move down there.
Gin this is such a fecking stress. Its absolutely no wonder you are an emotional wreck. And its just hell as there is nothing that can be said or done really to ease the waiting. Viciously sweeping up the leaves sounds like a good plan. Perhaps get the rolling pin out and hitting a pillow as well. I dont blame you just waiting as opposed to paying £50 to find out. oh i just wish i could fastforward this waiting for you. Big hug.
Art im sorry that they couldnt freeze your other embies but that does not suggest anything about the embies that are now in you. There is just no way that everyone who gets pregnant naturally or through ivf for that matter, produces these top grade embies. Interestingly when i was talking to this andrologist phd woman, she said that anything that is not perfect in a fertilised egg can actually be corrected by the sperm. Willing the mini arts to be bedding down now.
Doll so how many are on board? Def need answers.. also at Dr Rock comment whilst his head was between your legs!
All you ladies are AMAZING. Actually having kids will be a piece of cake after going through all this.
Rabbit big big hug. Although it may not be depression per se for all of us, i do believe we all have some deep sadness, grief, fear and tension going on. Also, i agree with others, i think you have to be ready for ivf. You have been through such a trauma with your ops, I dont think you should even think about ivf for the time being. I dont think youll need it either. I must say, before i started ttc , i always said, i would never do ivf. In my mind it was an absolute no no. I thought it was unnatural and i remember having a conversation with a friend and I said if i was unlucky to be that situation, i would just accept natures way. HUH! Talk about karma coming and biting me. i cant believe how easily i have changed my mind. At least i have been taught a valuable lesson.
Critter i am sorry to hear about your job situation. its terribly unnerving. I had something similar recently and i found it very stressful. As long as you keep hold of that health insurance. Also, its great that your ivf is covered over there. Sorry about feeling blue. Its not helpful when someone starts worrying that they havent conceived after 3 months and you have to comfort them. My friend was chatting to me about that recently and I sort of wanted to say, come back to speak to me in a year if it still hasnt happened.
Mrsd oh my goodness, you are cracking on with ivf next! Exciting times.
Cosmos surprise surprise i have that blood type book. I bought it in Jan along with some self test blood tests . It was a fun Saturday. I learnt Im a rare blood type, AB- and then panicked as Roy is 0+ and thought , ah ha thats why we cant make babies because of the rhesus b neg thing going on. I find it fascinating that there may be a link between gluten and infertility in some people. Just by the success of what has happened with Princess diet obviously plays a huge role in our fertility. Im so much better on a protein diet. Ive always thought i have a build of a cave woman even if my blood type is modern.
Frannie wonderful news about the heartbeat. Please do keep us updated. Thrilled for you.
Sar i cant believe the behaviour of your current place of work. What a total nightmare. Im glad it is sorted and the big boss was nice.
Eek at Samantha Brick article. I identified partly with what she said but i wish it wasnt her who wrote the article. She will get peoples backs up before people even start reading the article. having said that, i was surprised there were some nice comments in the top rated ones. I really dont want to become that bitter envious woman who loses friends because i cant breed. I do desperately try and make an effort with people...ok by ignoring them but im nice when i see them.
I had my monthly how are things going chat with my mum today. you need to relax. Its in your mind. You and Roy never go on holiday. So and so had 8 miscarriages. They say if you adopt, you will then get pregnant. I wouldnt believe anything the doctors tell you about your ovarian reserve. Go and do hypnosis. Please dont do ivf. Cant you just freeze your eggs. HAHAHAHAh oh Mum! Anti-ivf but then suggests i should freeze my eggs. She came out with all the classics this morning. Then my dad randomly told me that getting a puppy is one of the biggest things that makes people happy in this world...not kids. So Im going to freeze my eggs, get a puppy , then adopt and then i may get pregnant.
Joy it's just such a brilliant line, the old 'it's really common that people adopt and then get pregnant' yep and you know what is even more common, that's the people who couldn't get pregnant, adopt and still can't get pregnant.
Point taken, I'm working on the ET report. Brace yourself ladies, another one to go in the 'you couldn't make it up could you' file.
so....the whole thing was a bit dogged by recent memories of the "challenging environment" and by the fact I had no information on numbers of embies, knew I would get no 'office time' to discuss
bare chuff and discussing the possible interpretations of the most recent Lancet article, not the greatest combo and knowing that they like their big numbers. Now, with only four eggs this is likely not relevant, but you have to be prepared, right?
Nurse took me to same crowded room to undress. Great no info and no knickers. Sit and wait. Wonder about my embies. Feel alone. Wait some more. Notice stubble on legs. Wonder about embies. Watch a bit of an Arabic soap. Admire end of summer tan on legs. Feel a bit sick. Wonder about embies. Wonder if anyone knows who I am.
Nurse appears and tells me my doctor is sick and it will be another doctor. Nurse disappears. Wonder how this is going to get worse. Another nurse appears and says it will now be a different doctor, not the one they said before. Get led to Ops Room and climb on the slab.
Crap at a loose end today Doctor tells me to lie down I in turn ask for embie info <I'm going to be sitting up at least, me thinks>
2 grade A. Great result. Particularly under circumstances, no big numbers to deal with and embies look good. Still wish someone would ask me my name.
Doll I am agog waiting to here and Joy I just snorted at your last para .
Just home, more shite shovelling to do then will come back in, make a protein filled green and blacks hot chocolate (really???) and catch up. Unless MrN insists we do wedding stuff.
Bloody hell Doll you don't do things by halves. 2 is awesome but I am speechless at the process .
Huge huge well done on the 2 though
I'm not done...
This was a bit like a overly long smear. Lying flat. <where is my god damn tilt people?> There was a screen but the doctor didn't tell me what was happening when. I couldn't see anything. He took a phone call during the procedure. I like to think this was before the embies were on the scene but I can't say for sure. I was not amazed by the science and was taken out to lie unconvinced that they were really in there or if they were they really mine for an hour.
<dusts self off> so 'twas a bit rubbish and sad in a way. My own doctor would have helped as we have got to know each other a bit, he would have let me know what was going on and I would have had more confidence. It's all done now though and even at this point I know I could do it again. I know the ropes now, don't I?
Mrs Den - sorry you have had to re-think your freindship group - but all sensible. It's a bit like when you realise that you are drifting from your primary school / high school / uni freinds. All natural.
Cosmos - thank you for the blood group advice. And how interesting about the inflamed cervix. How did he know? Was it inflamed to look at or due to swabs? And what did he think the implication might be? Do you feel like your cervix is sore? Sorry for the cervix obsessed questions. .
Art - glad you have some time away from prodding and poking. Oooo never thought of the fanny cam as being up other chuffs . Bloody hell, they had better make sure that dam thing is well covered up. Is there no end to the weirdness of it all. And you are not a thread hogger - offloading is the name of the game!
Rabbit - Sorry about the tooth ache - it's a bastard!!! I know exactly what you mean about wondering if this is what depression feels like. I keep saying to Chum - "do you think I am depressed, shall I go to the GP" As someone who (prior to TTC shite) didn't struggle with mental health / emotions I'm not sure I am able to identify depression very well. But what I do know is I have ongoing sadness, regular tears and little hope for the future. I know a gp quesionnaire would indicate this is depression but for our situation I somehow allow myself to see it as part of the jounrey. Maybe we don't get the help we should. But then again I get up every morning, manage to put on a good performance at work and have a busy social life and full weekends. So I don't know how that fits in. I think it might be a unique type of depression that we long term TTC's have maybe. I don't know. Somehow I keep muddling though. Regarding the IVF thing, it is 100% fine to announce you are not having this treatment. You have come to this decision based on the very unique set of circumstances that have made up your life and recent medical fertility experiences. You reserve every right to change your mind.....or not. But right now you are NOT having IVF and I am 100% behind you in that decision. I too feel strongly that i won't adopt (can't even explain why) and I am very unlikely to have my fallopain tubes removed.....even if that is the one thing that would help me get a baby. I too reserve the right to change my mind . And maybe thats what other people on the outside of this don't understand (i.e. my Dr's) that although we want a baby really really really bad, we can't simply do anything and everything there is regardless, in the hope it might get us one. We are complex beings and this siutation is not as simple as conception problems + any treatment at all = baby.
Nellie - I bloody knew it. Those follies are peeping out and growing. They can keep growing with lots of chocolate milkshake and shouting and you have so much hope. I am so pleased for you. Big big hugs.
Art - big big hugs and deep breath. You have ticked many many boxes on your IVF journey, so the indicators are good. I agree with Nelly 100% - the womb is better than the petri dish - so the 2 inside have the advantage. And so what if those 2 inside were graded as average. Average is exactly what makes most of the world go around. Average means the most likely, most usual and nothing to indicate a problem. I have everthing crossed for you and still see so much hope.
Critter - aw hun. That is difficult about work and insurance. How soon were you planning IVF? Can you pay to extend your insurance if worst came to the worst? Sorry you felt the blues but I think the poetry coffee morning lady was send to remind you of what can be. This little gem was sent to keep you going. What a lovely lady. Aww -I want to come. I hope you feel a bit better. Will it be a regular thing?
Gin - I am right here handing you a decaff coffee and thick slice of stollen cake (a personal favourite of mine). I am so sorry for the BFN, and of course you won't know for sure unless AF does arrive. There is still hope but I know it isn't helpful to keep dangling and you need to have your curreent feelings validated. Try and distract yourself (laughts at self for dishing out advise can not take). Can you go to the cinema tonight? Can you plan something nice for tomorrow? Keep coming on here and offloading. The last part of the TWW is torture I know. But you are NOT on your own. xx
Madness - wow what a brill outcome from the appointment. I like a sensible approach to surgery. Removing only the hydo is a good compromise and may leave a fairly in tact tube available for future use. I have good feelings for you and the reduced waiting list is great news!!! You have given me hope for my consultation tomorrow.
Joy - oh gosh, oh dear. I'm sorry for the latest parental offerings. Puppies, frozen eggs, hypn, holidays . I don't know what to suggest, they are not ready to listen are they. I'm sorry, it must add to the stress.
doll - o my word. What the hell???!!! But horray for 2 embryos. I am thrilled for you.
Well I am still a misery and teary - yawn, yawn. But tomorrow I have a pre-op appointment followed by a consultant appointment. So will be going to 2 different hospitals. I am going to ask the consultant "what do you expect to find inside based on what we know so far". I was thinking this would help me prepare. Thanks for all the support reagrding big boss and little boss and new job. My colleagues are talking about my leaving do . It has dawned on me that I actually am leaving. I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew. This is a direct result of follwing my own crap advice - "do something to progress or value yourslef which is not TTC realted" Hollow laughs. Don't ever follow my advice ladies. .
sar if think you are depressed or low it can't hurt to speak to your GP about medication/ counselling, if you sad more times than you are happy then its not good, I still functioned as a person,went to work etc but still felt depressed, I'm not sure if the Fluoxetine is making much difference to my moods or not but will continue with it until the new year. I know I haven't cried for weeks or felt low or lost for some time, although I feel alot is to do with the life coaching and how I feel about myself and not my situation, hope all goes well tomorrow
fingers crossed for all you brave IVF ladies
Well Barry gets his Testosterone results tomorrow and I'm booked in for my AMH, then only one more blood test hep b anti bodies I think??
doll - kj - that would explain it! I am calorie counting atm to lose my post steroid & IVF pounds, so I am quite conscious of calories. Being paid to calorie count would be cool!
I'm sorry Ken didn't make it to ET. You sound so calm and pragmatic- as usual!
I am at your ET story. Blimey. Two embies is great though! And very encouraging for the slow growers! I am assuming that you had both put back?
Rabbit before I started the IVF cycle in the summer I wished that IVF had never been invented. I really didn't want to do it, but I felt like I had to. Because that is the only treatment our NHS clinic offered us. And it's there, and does have pretty good success rates, so I kind of felt obliged to try. But at no time did I WANT to. I felt pushed into it by circumstances against my will. I am still not exactly thrilled about the idea of mild/natural IVF, but it does deal with some of the concerns I had about IVF (I'm a bit of a hippy and don't like taking drugs, etc). But more importantly I think I feel like after a break, I am more ready for it and it will be on my terms - hippy IVF when I am ready. Not loads of drugs when the NHS decides it can fit me in. But it has taken me a few months past the IVF drugs debacle to get to this point. You need to do what is right for you.
joycep your mother sounds, er, trying. Do you think she had read the "what not to say to someone who is ttc" thread and missed the "not" in the title?
sarlat it will be great when it happens. A change is as good as a rest and all that!
euro that really helps, thank you so much. I feel like I'm on a course plotted by the nhs that I can't veer off, clomid jan - march, ivf in the summer. I have little faith in them tailoring the treatment to me as an individual and actually, little faith in them full stop after having major surgery I didn't actually even need. Natural ivf at my pace feels better and I've not looked into that or really even thought about it much, something to think about. Nhs ivf feels very much one size fits all and I hate that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the idea of ivf for any other reason that I feel a bit too fragile to be fiddled with. And you are spot on, I just don't want to do it! But then, who ever did. I'm yet to know my amh, which perhaps might make me want to speed up things. Or it might not. Do the nhs offer such things?
doll I'm at your whole experience but yay to your embies that are now in their rightful place. I have been reading your posts with fascination, you are a star.
gin I gently hand you Billy Bass fish. Keep going and see what happens. No period is a good thing. All those hormones must surely wallop symptoms on. Kind hand squeeze and luck and loves.
art sorry no freezer ones. But I second what everyone says here, the womb is where they want to be so I am keeping positive on your behalf.
sar massive loves to you. It's funny isn't it how we have these deep down feelings? It has helped me a lot this month to think well I don't have to do that if I don't want to. Hospitals are pretty good at taking that away from you. And yes, I think sadness over depression. It isn't all the time, I'm still working hard and effectively, I see friends less but can still be happy and have fun times. But some days, I could just weep in the bath. I tend not to but the impulse is there! I ordered the vitamin d spray today, I do think it helps in the absence of sunlight. I really am gasping for some sunshine.
joycep parents get it a bit wrong sometimes don't they? My mum is amazing and my dad too but he so wants this to be over for me and therefore the suggestions are rather ahead of where I am.
nelly I could swipe that nurse of yours! So glad for you and keeping everything crossed.
madness glad the appointment went well, sounds very measured. I will be holding your hand in a few weeks.
Any cures for a huge spot the size of my head?!
Nelly that is such good news, well done on hanging in there.
Gin big hugs, good advice from Art, take it day by day.
Art hugs regarding the other 2, but your 2 front runners are in the best place for them.
Doll I am so chuffed for you on today's events, sounds like great news even in the most bizarrely awful surroundings!
Joy is there part of your helpful parental input that is sheer optimism for you (searches for the positive?).
Waves everyone else.
Hi everyone. Am finally in front of the laptop. Leftover beef stew for tea (protein) and forcing myself to drink water even though Id prefer wine .
I am finding the IVF talk interesting. Ive got maybe a different perspective (though not as to whether Rabbit should do it thats completely personal, and the right decision for the person making it is always the right decision!) However I never had any qualms about doing IVF. Obviously when I started this journey I really didnt think Id be doing it. I was pretty naïve really, but assumed that because I was healthy, had regular periods etc, then Id get pregnant the old fashioned way. But as it became apparent IVF was on the cards I was just keen to get going asap. I think this is probably because my sister had done it twice, successfully the second time; and that through her I knew of loads of stories of success. However, I even then assumed it was just a case of maybe needing a few goes, but it will work eventually. The bit that has got to me is the poor response thats not something that has happened to anyone I know, and Ive found that hard (stating the bleeding obvious, I know). BUT Ive not found the IVF hard so far. Its just a few needles and appointments and stuff. The key for me though is that I stuck to my guns and didnt do long protocol. I am double pleased about that as I think even the progesterone pill was too much. If/when I go again, I am going to ask for no intervention other than stimming. It is looking like my body doesnt like being confused. So anyway just my tuppence worth. And like Sar I reserve the right to change my mind if I get more rollercoaster bad news.
Talking of Sar, I am so sorry you feel so down. I would definitely find someone to talk to counsellor or whoever feels right for you. Buzzy has wise words and Ive had my own version via the hypnotherapy. It might have helped more if Id listened to the CDs on Friday instead of wailing over the tinternet mind. But on a day to day basis it has definitely helped. I did grin at your comment I bloody knew it. Wish I felt so confident, Im already feeling wobbly about Wednesday.
Madness I am glad your clinic appointment went well. And well done them for backdating your wait. Am I right in thinking you are also north of the border?
Gin easy on the symptom spotting. Others are right, who can flipping well tell whats a symptom. Ive had tons of them over the last 2 years. Just keep finding nice ways to distract yourself, ignore the test and well keep our fingers crossed.
Critter Im sorry you had low moments over the weekend but the poetry meet sounds lovely, what nice people. Thank you for the cheerleading, its strange to think of other people thinking about your ovaries . I hope you can resolve the work/insurance worries, something you dont need.
Joy I know, I was a bit angry with the nurse, I was so nervous and could have done without it. I have to say I dont feel Amazing! But I was saying to MrN last week (he needs a new name by the way) that, if this ever works and we become parents, I know FOR SURE we will be better, by a factor of gazillions, due to the horror of infertility. We will be constantly amazed by our miracle, bear the challenges with better grace, and feel like all round lottery winners. Weve also become much closer than ever before and talk about things properly. We never used to. So, thank you infertility, you have made me a better person. But your work is done. I can get pregnant now. Please.
Cosmos I have no idea of my blood type. I should probably find out.
Goodness Doll that really is a tale and a half. They didnt check your name??? That was something Ive always had stressed, about how many name checks etc they do. And eek to the phonecall during the process. But Im still totally stoked for you that you have 2 good embies. Hooray for age not always scrambling the eggs, eh .
Ive missed loads out but kept getting distracted with wedding stuff. Honestly I am looking forward to it but its boring me in equal measure.
Must go to bed. Womble is still there but I want it to start hurting!! I told MrN earlier I couldnt wait to get home and stick needles in me. Im not sure thats entirely normal .
Oh doll what an ordeal. I am amazed by your composure. I cried during my last ultrasound
and MRI and horrible colon cam so would have been a ruddy mess with all of that. But hooray!!!! For 2 good embies
sar i'm sure your appointment will go just as well as mine xx
I will need the handholding I'm sure rabbit when the surgery is looming. As for ivf my friend chose to go straight to adoption after clomid. Everyone will need to weigh it all up for themselves. And even those of us who are on the lists or going through it now might still get to be that woman who gets a natural bfp right after a failed cycle or just before starting. Not doing it through ivf does not equal not getting a child.
Nelly I am indeed north of the border. Was sitting in clinic today thinking that any of the other ladies could have been one of you lot
Had funny chat with dh as well about the signs on all of the windows asking people not to smoke in front of them. I'm sure it's mostly about the smoke coming in the windows but we also agreed that it must also be partly to stop all of us fertility challenged hormonal women from doing unspeakable things to the pregnant women who are always standing around outside the main entrance having a fag
Well I'm having an odd evening. My period seems to have arrived. Giving me a 9 day luteal phase. I have not had an LP shorter than 11 days in the year and a half that I have been temping, and they are usually more like 14 days.
I had low level nausea and felt absolutely exhausted last week. So I am thinking that maybe something but not quite enough happened. Hmmm. V strange.
And not idea for the scuba refresher course I have planned for this week...
Euro -proper period???? Or just a hint of it starting? Curious indeed. <raises eyebrows>. Did you shout at your ovaries then .
Madness they have those signs at my NHS clinic and they made me chuckle too.
Euro - goodness me. I will watch this space. Any possibility it is implantation bleeding?
Buzz - thank you for the advice - you are as knowledgable as ever. I am going to wait and see if this settles - I hope it's a case of being stuck in the tent. But I will keep an eye on how it goes. I am so glad to hear the clouds have lifted fo you. I'm sure the life coaching is the main reason too as it sounds fantastic.
euro well interesting. Any thoughts? Any update?
Yes euro both back in. It wasn't a question in the doctor's mind which was what I expected and why in a way it was better that I didn't have more and so didn't have to get into that. I'm ok with two, it doesn't seem to raise the pregnancy rate as much as one would expect and, of course, putting aside identicals, it raises the possiblity of twins a lot (i.e from 0% chance).
It's definitely proper period, unfortunately.
I'm pretty sure that something happened though - nausea, exhaustion, feeling like I was getting thrush (I have never had it off the Pill), some brown tinged CM a couple of days past ov (never had this before), temps all over the place rather than just going up and staying up, and now my period way early - it's too many things for it to be coincidence. And the nausea and exhaustion have gone today. So near and yet so far.
I'll have my fingers crossed for doll and the other 10+ers whether IVFing or not.
Oh Euro. Balls and buggeration. I was so hopeful for you. But sounds like sperm met egg. Fingers crossed it happens again bloody soon.
I have been dwelling on the implications of the reasons behind not getting pregnant. Recently I've been feeling its not a level playing field. If I don't even get to EC stage I don't stand a chance, and natural BFP seems like a one in a million chance. I do however believe every other person on this thread will get pregnant one way or another, even if it takes a while longer. A failed month, whatever the reason, is heartbreaking. But you will get there. I know it . Everyone will. Except probably me and my dead ovaries. But that's ok because I am going to rescue a German Shepherd next year. .
You too Nelly. You will not be the crazy lady of Briget Jones' daydreams who ends up eaten by Alsatians.
That was actually my aim. If the Alsations eat me, at least I don't have to worry about no children to come to my funeral <inappropriate humour>.
Anyway the GSD we had before destroyed her teeth carrying stones around everywhere, so would have had to gum me to death.
Hope you feel ok Euro. Do you feel better or worse that it was a near-hit? As opposed to a near miss obviously.
Jeez my phone posts are always very garbled.
Just popping in to say congratulations to Doll, two grade A embies, that's brilliant! Sounds like the ET process kept up the stress factor though. A doctor taking a call during the procedure is a new one on me... FWIW I didn't have the usual consultant either
not that i minded as i don't like him. It was a new one for the EC and a different one again for ET. But they were kind and explained everything properly and nobody answered the phone with their head between my legs... Welcome to the long wait. How do you feel now? I was told putting two embies back in gave me the best chance of a single pregnancy, but then mine weren't great. The chance of twins he put at 10%, but that's 10% of what is already a very small number (something like a 20% chance it will work in the first place?) so I figured it was worth the risk.
Euro that sounds strange indeed. I hate those WFT months.
Madness I'm glad your appointment provided some reassurance. Sounds like you have a plan
Buzz hope the testosterone results were good, when do you find out about your AMH? You're braver than me, I don't want to know.
Joy at your mum! She's swallowed the book on things not to say. Mine is convinced I must now be pregnant. i'm having to avoid her. She thinks I'm being negative because I refused to get into a conversation about potential maternity leave. Don't they realise it's already hard enough?
Gin I don't blame you at not wanting to pay £50 to have a needle stuck in your arm. I'm smarting at the £350 bill for culturing the embies that didn't make it. FFS, they sat in a dish for two days, they weren't exactly feasting on champagne and caviar. This whole procedure is a license to print money.
Rabbit how's the tooth? Hope it's behaving itself. Wisdom teeth are a bugger and completely inappropriately named.
Nelly I would bet my right arm that every single one of us on this thread believes it will happen for everyone else but not for us. German Shepherds all round
I'm a bit wobbly today. I've been to pilates (did the easy version of everything) but now am thinking I shouldn't have... they told me gentle exercise was OK so I thought non cardio would be fine but have since consulted Dr Google. Big mistake. Maybe I should hold off doing anything for the rest of the 2ww just so I don't do my own head in over it. Surely if this thing doesn't work it won't be my fault for going to pilates for an hour?
Art, step away from Google . <stern>. Pilates will NOT have ruined your chances. But stressing definitely will not help. I think I said yesterday that my woo ladies are VERY big on keeping the stress hormones out at this stage. Do whatever you need to chill. But do not google!!! I think it's been said on here before, but the only thing to do is avoid the "what ifs". So if it doesn't work, you want to say I gave it my best shot, not, "what if I'd not gone sky diving". FWIW I will be mucking out my hobbles every day. Driving my 7.5 ton lorry and lifting up the heavy ramp. Carrying heavy things. It's unavoidable. That's if I get to ET of course . But I actually think Pilates is a good thing to do because it calms you. So there .
Do you really think everyone feels they will be the one left? I wonder why? I read everyone else's stories and think "that's ok, that's surmountable". By which of course I don't mean to trivialise the suffering, but that I see a way forward for everyone.
I agree Buzzy by the way about being brave on the AMH. Mind took about a week to come back I think? Now that's a phonecall I will never forget. Fingers crossed yours is rather less distressing xxx
Art - pilates will be fine. I have been very impressed with your one day at a time attitude.
Euro - I am sorry period has come in full force. As I said to Rabbit, chemical pregnancies (even if not confirmed by a test) tell you that there is lots of potential. Maybe this was sent down to restore a little bit of hope. I hope you feel ok. It's a funny old thing isn't it.
Nelly - I second what Art says - eveyone here thinks everyone but them will get prego. But I know that when you feel that way out, you just feel that way out and it sucks. I'm sorry Nell - I really want to make you feel better. Sometimes I think it is when we dare to hope and believe that the fear can come crashing down again all too soon. Please remember those extra follies that they found at scan. Focus on the next scan and the next scan only. You need to see each little step as a small hurdle to jump (not think about an actual baby at this stage). And recently you have had a little victory! So 2 fingers up to the world and the fertility clinics of the universe. Lets see where we are at the end of this week. You are a very brave lady indeed and I have everything crossed.
Gin - how are things? how are you feeling?
Just got back from pre op appointment at first hospital -was fine, nothing to write home about. And then on to the second hospital for a consultant appointent. Well thank goodness is was actually her I saw his time as I was half expecting to be seen by the dentist, the canteen lady or the cardiology nurse based on my clinic's ability to get appointments right. .
Nice consultant feels the awkward embryo transfers did NOT cause the recent BFN. She doesn't believe it can cause this level of problem espeically when no trauma has occured eg, lots of bleeding. . I am inclined to believe my consultant about this issue and not the other one who did the transfer but I am really getting tired about the mystery and conflict around what is wrong with me. I asked her what she thinks is the cause of another failed cycle. She thinks bad DNA in the embryo which isn't visible to the naked eye could still be the problem (i.e. bad luck and my body detected down syndrome or similar). Apparantly some women's bodies are more 'picky' over embryos - but that isn't necissarily a good thing in my opinion. However tubes may also be causing my failiure - see below.
Then we discussed the op - we will go ahead with cervix dilation as planned but it isn't the main focus any more. Consultant is concerned that my right tube may be irrepairably damaged which may be leaking toxic fluid in to the womb - but of course she won't know until she gets inside and has a look. She asked for my permission to remove the tube if it is bad (very possible). At which point I started to cry. Then she changed and agreed she would not remove anything and simply assess, tidy up and repair where possible. If the right tube is badly damaged, I have the option to remove it at a later operation. She thinks the left tube is also damaged but possibly not to the same extent as on the right and so the threat of removal is less likely.
I am grateful for her person centred approach. And, I don't really have any more information than I had before. But I am struggling to feel settled about my op because I know I may have to hear some very bad news when I wake up. Being in the consultation room today crystalised some thoughts and feelings. The disorted and scarred pelvis problem (in my mind) is somehow seperate and worse than my TTC woes - even thought they are connected. It made me realise I see myself as ill and deformed as well as subfertile and I am not prepared to surrender anything (at lease at this stage) to have a baby. I feel hard done by today -sorry, I have been moaning a great deal latley. But I also feel better for writing it down here - so thank you ladies.
On a positive note, as both appointments were morning time, Chum and I now have the afternoon together at home to drink tea and watch crap TV
sarlat she does sound like a nice consultant. I know what you man about thinking of yourself as "broken" in some way. I feel the same (even though nothing has been diagnosed I cannot help feeling that there is something wrong inside me). Enjoy your afternoon!
art pilates won't have done anything bad at all. I had IUI at one clinic and was told to take it very easy - no exercise, no lifting (why? That is to protect the mother from SPD - very unlikely before a positive preg test!). The leaflet we were given in the course of our IVF at King's said carry on as normal during the 2ww. If there was any strong research either way, they would all give the same advice. The fact is that no one knows why some embies stick and some don't. But I very much doubt that an hour of gentle exercise will have anything to do with it! Nelly is giving good advice.
Nelly I'm not sure if I feel better for feeling that something happened. It hasn't given me a baby. And it was 2.5 years between incidents. I don't think I could take another 2.5 years of this only for it to happen again!
Oh balls euro. Those curveball cycles are the pits, as if it isn't hard enough already. We know up bodies amd cycles intricately well as we've been in the game long enough so you know when things don't add up and suggest inner activity to which we aren't privy. Hope you're ok.
sar hugs. I feel like that about my flipped over womble and kinked cervix. Like, how the fuck did that happen? It's hard to get your head around the idea that things inside aren't quite as they should be when everything feels ok (though in my case cyclical pain lets me know that things are not in the right place). I too think deformity when actually we just have anomalies, like sticky out ears, broken noses and stuff that most people would just get used to but the implications are far reaching so it feels more at the core of who we are. For example, there is a small kink in my bowel where I had my appendix out when I was little, due to a v small adhesion (not near my womble though for ages I did wonder ..) this causes like a little bulge when I lie down and am a bit gassy, you can watch it travel through! Do I care about it or think much of it - no. I don't think of it as being broken or anything even though it can be a bit crampy etc, its just a weird bit of me. But fertility things hit so much harder than that. I can only imagine how you feel about the op but you know the worst case scenario now and can think in a contingency way. However, you know I think our insides change and heal a lot and it almost definitely won't be as bad as you might be mentally forecasting. I am wholly with you that I would want tidying up and have time to think about choices, should it come to that. But I feel in my bones that it won't.
art I think babies are pretty difficult to budge once they are on their way. I can only think that Pilates will have helped but it must be so hard not to over think things. You are doing amazingly. I feel your pain at the £350 though, wow.
nelly I think that about myself. I see myself as having dysfunctional uterine apparatus that will be impossible to give ivf to should I ever get there with poor egg quality and possibly even poor embryo quality with suspect immune issues, a shite blood group and a bit old and past it, too skinny and basically a barren write off. I have reading that but actually that is how I feel. We are bitches to ourselves! Thinking of you with the next hurdle. You have special hobble skills for hurdle jumping!
Well the tooth is stable but bloody sore and my face is swollen which every man and his dog feel fit to tell me. I couldn't bear to have it out (no more hospitals!) so praying it passes. I do think its making me feel a bit off though. Stupid wisdom teeth, I did not ask for you or need you!
My noses and ears comment makes no sense! Sorry <blush>
Wow sar you really got dealt a hand, didn't you? As hard as it is, it's good that you are so skilled at identifying what your pain is and work towards the path that's right for you. hugs.
euro how are you feeling about this? There are positives as well as the negatives, right? It's not something I have experienced for real, I do imagine that somewhere inside I'd feel impressed that 'something' happened
but perhaps that's just because I don't know what I'm talking about
artemis pilates is totally fine, the only way it's not is if you can't get your head around it, if it worries you then of course leave it for now. Thanks for sharing your twin stats I'm feeling fine thanks.
nelly yes indeed it does seem like other peoples issues are somehow more surmountable than one's own. I feel like I'm in a whole different universe of sub fertility, more than a decade in, it's an odd place. In regard to taking it easy - i have some avoidables and some unavoidables, its just the way it is. Yesterday I rushed about unfortunately and tomorrow I have to travel for work so I'm trying to have an easy going day today.
gin are you ok?
rabbit how is the tooth?
Waves to everyone over the page and lurking......
Ah there you are rabbit sorry about the tooth. They really are rubbish. As much as I hated the idea I had one taken out a few years back. Perhaps the Americans have this right and just get rid of them all.
Ladies - thanks for the responses.
Euro - sorry to hear you feel broken too - unexplained is very painful and all the more baffeling. I know this is an easy thing to say, but I don't think you will wait another 2.5 years my lovely. But I know your pain well.
Doll - your hugs feel nice. I suppose I do know how I feel yes - I hope I can get to an end point one day. I'm sorry you feel bad about being a decade in - it's a lonely jouney at times isn't it. Be kind to yourself for the next few days. Hoping they settle in nicely.
Rabbit - I am sorry the pesky 'wisdom tooth' hasn't settled. If this were any other time in your life, you would just have the fecker removed wouldn't you. But this TTC shite and it's medical procedures really really does affect us doen't it. I learnt today that I too have a kinked cervix - we are kinky cervix twins . Thank you for what you said about 'in your bones' - I sort of needed to hear that today. I need some hope. They just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm ashamed to say that the 'big C' word has stared to enter my mind too. . I also learnt today that even if they can repair me to some extent, the chances of natural conception goes up only by a few percent. This made me sad - I had been hoping that this op may swing things my way. Rabbit - do you mind me asking about your cyclial pain and why this made you think all was not well? Is this to do with the pressue you use to get from the broid?
Yup doll I should have had it taken out at infection no 2 but oddly I was told I needed three major ones before it came out. How you feeling today?
sar the verdict was, officially, that I had a large fluid filled uterine cyst (rare) that ruptured during the eye wateringly painful rectal examination. Yippee! However, said cyst has pulled my womb backwards almost like a folded over one (I saw the MRI) bending the cervix and now it nestles touching against my bowel. I tend to get pain just after my period, much worse ovulation pain (needing co codamol) and sometimes but thankfully not always, before my period is due. Dr Big explained the pre period pain as larger womb rubbing bowel, after period pain as womb shrunken and rubbing but is mystified by worsened ov pain. He guaranteed i would be in pain, cyclically, until i got pregnant which would correct the uterus position properly. <observes small error in this plan> he also said early pregancny would be very painful and could require hospitalisation until week 10-12 but i block that out as it doesnt seem a very real possibility. I think my ovaries moved during the op, perhaps. None of this apparently affects my fertility cos don't you know sperms are tiny and eggs are tiny and its all just dandy but I do wonder to be honest. Actually I wonder if its all shite and that I have endo that they missed so little do I trust in what happened. But then, my womb was taken out of my body and scrutisnised and squeezed (!) by two people so I guess they would have seen anything amiss. I too wonder about the c word but I'm still here and not worse, actually a bit better so I figure I'm not dying and there is no way anyone is shoving anything up my arse at this moment in time! It does hurt though, it's v painful today. Like a mixture of ibs and womb cramps. I guess I'm stuck with it. If I'd had kids, I'd say goodbye to my womb as it has become rather a nuisance.
But it's all so bloody mysterious and I too would feel much happier with definitive answers. I frequently wonder if a different hospital would have handled everything differently and come up with an entirely different set of answers. But if we have found each other on here, I imagine kinked cervixes are more common than you'd think?
Have just read that back and am not actually surprised it took 5 months for my periods to normalise. Poor womb.
doll you still sound so calm! My clinic told me to poas 16 days after EC, so hopefully that will help you to work out when you should do so.
Rabbit Sorry to hear about the tooth. I had one removed a few years ago and it was hideous. Never again. Have you tried antibiotics? The amoxicillin I had for my lurgy also cleared up my remaining wisdom tooth and its pregnancy friendly.
Im so sorry to hear that rabbit and sar feel broken. You are both lovely, lovely ladies and are not any more broken than the rest of us! You will win a baybee one day.
Sar your consultant sounds nice, although it must be frustrating to not have any concrete answers and the idea of the op must be terrifying. I totally get what you say about not being willing to have things removed to get a baby. When I found out about my fibroids, there was no way I was going to have them removed, as wed still have needed IVF luckily theyre small and not in a problematic place, so its not an issue. I was also unwilling to do any kind of IVF other than mild. I think its important to know your limits and not be bullied into anything else. Ultimately its us that has to go through all the surgery and treatment.
euro sorry to hear about the suspected CP, but it is a good sign that sperm met egg. I hope you feel ok.
nelly you WILL get to ET! You now have a good number of follicles growing. I really do feel that Im going to be the only person who will never get pregnant we know for certain that it wont ever happen naturally. With this IVF, I feel another step closer to it.
artemis Dont worry about the pilates, particularly as you are used to doing it. In fact my clinic told me to keep moving, but just not to get tired which I took to mean go shopping! Movement is good for the circulation and also helps dispel the evil OHSS fluid.
madness hope the appointment went well.
buzzy hope Barrys results were ok.
Oh joy I cant believe your mum came out with all that stuff! Id have lost it I think, no matter how well meaning, but misinformed the person was. Could you send her on a clinic open day to gain some understanding of it all?
Waves to everyone else.
I did another HPT this morning (I know, I know, I shouldnt have) and it was negative again. Im now 14 days post EC and I used an ultra sensitive, so Im pretty sure its right. Im going to stop the clexane, but will continue with the progesterone until OTD, Thursday. I spent a good hour crying, much to Daves horror hes much more of a sweep it under the carpet and be secretly depressed for months and tells me to not get so upset, whereas I like a good bawl for a day or so and then generally feel ok.
I identify with a lot of what you said sar after your FET. We had good quality embryos and I was in a good place mentally and physically this time and yet it still didnt work. Ive never had the chance to be pregnant other than in the IVF cycles, so I have no idea if there is anything up with my womble. I feel one step nearer to never being pregnant, let alone having children, and hate that we put so much effort into the cycle eating right, relaxing etc etc for it to have failed. In fact I feel a bit of a failure. Normally in life, if you work hard and do what youre told, you get what you want. I think this is partly why infertility is so hard.
We have the FET left to do, but I do hold out much hope as we only have a single embryo and it may not survive being defrosted. Then onto iui with donor sperm. I have no idea how were going to pay for all of this. We didn't have to pay for the culture artemis, but did have to pay £350 for the freezing and storage of 1 little embryo. We cant just keep taking money of Daves parents. Anyway, vent over. I am fine but just need to wallow for a bit.
Gin I'm so sorry about the BFN. It's so bloody unfair. But no period yet? You are not a failure. It's a funny thing, infertility. In no other walk of illness/medical issues would failing ever come into it. And I so know what you mean about doing as you're told and working hard and still not getting anywhere. Controversially I no longer believe that any amount of health plans or supplements or green ness or woo will get me pregnant. I am sure if you lead a very unhealthy life, coffee by the gallon, drugs, smoking, on the lash very night and eating McDonald's every day then yes, maybe. But I no longer see any of that as being my answer. I have tried almost all eat right for your type/alternative therapy/organic 'plans' It gives me nice skin and usually the shits. You have done your absolute best and it is perfectly fine to bawl! Men process things ever so differently. I hope that the bfn is just too early. And if not, that your little frozen one turns up trumps. And even then, it is no way game over. But playing the game doesn't half get tedious. Massive hug gin - you WILL get there.
Gin - I just want to echo what Rabbit has said. You are not a failiure! Unlucky - yes. A brave lady who will get her goal in the end - yes! It is all so so so tough and I am glad you have cried! My consultant repeatedly tells me that even the best looking embryos may not be what they seem. But I know no amount of scientific facts are going to make you feel better just now. All that emotional, financial and physical investment and then at the end of the 2WW it all feels over very suddenly. I hope your AF doesn't show up, but if it does there is still a way forward. Big big hugs. Let me know if you are in my neck of the woods soon. xx
Geez - ladies my spellings get worse sorry
gin sorry about the BFN but you never know until AF turns up, big hugs you know where I am if you want to meet up
euro its a frustrating and confusing when you are unsure what is happening with your body, I felt like that with my 43 day cycle
rabbit eating honey might be good for your tooth, hope it goes away, I had my wisdom teeth cut out of my gums when I was 15 as I had braces at the time
joy and at your mothers comments, would help if she thought a bit more before she spoke to you, can I ask why she is so anti you trying IVF?? You can tell me to mind my own business
doll and art thinking of you both as other have said Pilates will not have caused any problems
nelly I suppose its a natural and slightly protective reaction to have that you will be the only one left without a child, some people probably find that its helps not to have high expectations then the hurt and disappointment is not so great. Fingers crossed for your next scan
sar I'm glad you had a good consultant to talk to, its hard hearing bad news as you then tend to think about all sorts of scenarios after, can I ask that if the leaking tube is causing problems would it not be best for it to be removed if she is unable to repair it, I know its a big thing but do they think the leaking toxins are causing you not to fall pregnant/ hazardous if you do become pregnant ?? I don't know where you work but I think you are up north somewhere, do you have a counsellor through your Occ health dept, its good to off load to a RL person plus you get to do it on company time
I'm sorry so many seem low right now, it really is shit that such fantastic women as ourselves should be in this position < shakes fist in the air screw 'you universe'>
Barry's testosterone is 'normal' doesn't explain the sesh failures but they did give him some viagra so tomorrow we'll give it ago, if not its DIY IUI for us
thanks art and nelly but I'm not too worried about my AMH, I already know that my ovarian reserve is low for my age so it won't come as a shock, plus this is just Create's view on things, Shehata was less worried by my stats and he works off your E2 which was ok. I feel more in control if I know everything good or bad, then we are in a better position to make a decision, I'd more rather know my chances are slim then to kid myself that they are ok, if the results are really bad then I will be better off spending the money on DE. I'm more about having my blood taken, really can't stand it..........
Buzz - you are exactly right about why they might want me to remove my tube. I know it seems senseless to refuse to have it removed if it is in a very bad way but I just can't make that emotional leap at present. Yes, I want a baby very very much but because I can't believe or haven't come to terms with how damaged I am inside my pelvis (because there is no clear cause), I can't envisage allowing my tube or tubes to be removed. Maybe one day I will feel different. But I think I will be very cross with myself if I allow the possibility of them to be removed without being at peace with that. I'm not sure even a beautiful baby conceived via IVF would make me feel at peace with that idea of no tubes at the moment. I know this is ironic and I am probably not making much sense. I suppose I am very frightened and at the moment learning how bad they are (or aren't) feels like a mssaive jump in itself.
I am impressed with your approach to your results to help you plan. You sound far more sensicle than me in your decsion making and I have no doubt you will get what you want Buzz. You have been such an inspiration and I can't thank you enough for all the support you give me. Its great that Barry's testosterone is all ok. By the way on the topic of results, my consultant thinks lower AMH levels are not all that bad - it's about looking at a combination of things.
Sar - blame the spelling on iphones. It's the obvious 67y65 (cat wrote that, sorry) answer. I am sorry the consultant made you cry, but I'm not surprised given what she said. I guess there is no easy way to ask that sort of question though. Like the responses to Rabbit re IVF, you don't have to do anything you don't want (life saving medical treatment notwithstanding). In fact, the very useful work course I was on a couple of months ago was based on the Pacific Institute - a guy called Lou Tice founded it and we were shown loads of DVDs of him teaching. He passed away this year, and youtube videos aren't really capturing the essence of what he taught otherwise I'd link some. But one phrase more than any captured my imagination. It was "From now on, do only what you want to do, not what you have to do. But be prepared to live with the consequences". The thinking was, you don't have to go to your job or pay your taxes, but there will be consequences. No home, going to jail, whatever they may be. So switch it round and say, I want to go to my job every day, because I want this nice house, or whatever it is. It's just another way of saying that nobody is forcing you to do anything; but I personally found it useful as I live my life feeling a bit victim-y. If removing your tubes is not what you want to do, don't do it. You'll be making an informed choice, and understanding what that means for you; but ultimately you will be happy because you made the decision, and did what you wanted. I know it's easy to say though, and that the decision itself isn't black and white. But you have time. I think investigations first, followed by an opportunity to chat and think through is a very wise move. Once the tube is out, it's out, so it's not something you rush in to.
Sorry the tooth is still so bothersome Rabbit. Clove oil? <winces>. Gosh I don't think I'd seen all the details of your cyst/investigations/surgery written down like that before. No flipping wonder you don't want to go through any more. I will say, up to now IVF has been a walk in the park compared to what you have already done. Eye wateringly painful rectal exam??? <winces again>. Have some or perhaps even some . And definitely a large slab of cake.
Gin oh goodness sorry about the BFN. But it's not over yet. Hang in there. And you do still have the frostie. So another shot before you have to worry about those other options. One day at a time <takes own medicine>. Big hugs.
Very interesting chat about the feelings behind our own individual cases of infertility. I was feeling very maudlin the other night and dwelling on my misfortune (see above re being a victim ). But of course it matters not a jot why that BFN/AF appears each month. The pain is just the same. The self-flaggellation just as severe. Perhaps the thing for me that might apply to others is the panic - time is running out, that if I don't catch the egg very soon then I really will be snookered. I've always thought that if I just get to ET I'll at least feel I was given my opportunity to play the game? But maybe not. But I think it comes down to the oh-so-familiar feelings of failure. MrN is sick of telling me I haven't failed. Even when I rather dramatically told him I didn't feel like a woman any more, that I was barren and empty, that I felt old and ugly, that he could run off and have kids with someone else but I couldn't give him children, that I wasn't allowed to be part of the same smug-club everyone else is in. Etc etc etc. I'm sure we've all been there
a hundred times. But Rabbit you hit the nail on the head when you said that any other medical condition you would not see as a personal failing, so it makes no sense that we beat ourselves up this way. Back to Lou Tice - he teaches the dangers of self-talk. And my hypno reflects this and tells me I have to literally shout STOP when I hear myself do it. I had kind of forgotten in the last few weeks about that. I will endeavour to stop the voices in my head, or at least replace them with cheery ones.
One other thing. I've been trying to spoil myself a bit more. Nothing major. Just making a point of applying night creams and lovely Molton Brown hand creams and filing my nails and stuff. All quite fluffy but between the fact I'm always caked in mud and shit, I have my wedding in just over 4 weeks, and I'm generally feeling rather low in the self-esteem stakes, I reckon it can't do any harm. so on that note I'm off to the bath with
my to do list a good book
Sorry - I didn't mean low AMH, I meant low AFC. Slaps own head. I am no AMH expert but I am sure this applies for all test results.
cross post buzzy and sar. I want your consultants. Everyone who has referred to my AMH has done so with this face >>> and every time they do, I go into a pit of doom. Even though it's the same message I got the time before.
Bastard AMH test . Although admittedly I'm combining low AMH with high age, and low AFC.
But Buzzy you sound very very philosophical about it. It's very admirable, you are a strong lady
sar it takes time to process what we are told, I know I did with all the IVF stuff, you have to do what you feel is right for you, I'm nearly 40 so can't expect great results, I'm trying DHEA but who knows, I think I'm pretty average with my E2, FSH and LH so we shall see, I need to have a plan have realised getting worried and stressed doesn't help me, I'm only peeing on ov sticks this month, can't be bothered with all the other stuff I used to do, all the lists and facts I have kept over the last 2 years haven't really made any difference so why waste my time, I need to be happy now and although having a baby will make me happy I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness not anyone else
nelly and others I should add that this is just my personal view on things and that this suits me, after hitting rock bottom a few months ago I realised that I was depressed and stressed and that I just could not continue on this rollercoaster, everyday life was becoming a struggle, I had become a self destructive victim and that only I could help myself where as in the past I had always wanted rescuing. My behaviour had an impact on my health and I put alot of necessary pressure on Barry expecting him to change things that are ultimately out of our control, I realised that crying every month and being obsessive about tracking things/googling etc was not helping, none of it has helped me get pregnant. I have accepted that I am not in control of everything but I can control what I think and how I feel (to a certain degree)
I have literally spent nearly all my life being a victim to my mother and to other bullies mainly employers and nasty men, and I knew I had to change things. Very little scares me at the moment and I feel really happy with my life. I know all this could change but for now I'm making the most of it
dear lovely ladies, I haven't really got anything useful to add over and above the great advice already given, but this is for all of you who've had a really tough shitty day. m.youtube.com/watch?v=nnivOKYyWLY
Where is everyone today? <nervously twiddled thumbs>. Scan in 40 mins. Trying to channel my woo instructions to breathe deeply, keep calm and think positive.
I am so the opposite of Doll.
I'm here nelly. Best of luck today, I know I won't be doll like calm. I'll be a bag of nerves throughout. I'm off work today, woke up with a migraine. The awful sort where you get that disturbed vision. I always find it really frightening. Now I've got the thumping head, don't suppose being on mn is helping. I think this is a hormonal one because af is due. This worries me that I might get loads when stimming. I've also been having palpitations today where my heart feels like it misses a beat and then does an extra one to catch up. I think I must be anxious. How can I stop this? Does anyone get the same?
Gin, massive hugs. It might still be too early. I will be desperately sad for you if it hasn't. This is shit.
Go, doll go. How amazing to have two top embyos. Wishing all three of you well.
Doll - you couldn't make it up, wow at the transfer. But great news that 2 embies are on board.
Gin im so sorry about the bfn. I hope it s just still too early. This is all so unfair and you most certainly are not a failure. I know it must feel hopeless right now but as others have said there is still a way forward even if this doesnt work out. But its not over yet. Massive hug.
Sar im sorry about your meeting yesterday and it making you cry. I think its a wise decision to not let them do anything drastic whilst you are under. You need to have control of the decision making which you cant have until you know the whole story. If you find out what is going on in there then you can then make a decision later on. Its so easy to see why this is so horribly stressful for you because they just have no idea what the problem is. They are throwing out all these possible issues leaky tubes, bad dna, kinky cervix and then telling you actually they dont think thats the problem - its enough to blow anyones mind. But these are all theories because actually they could do another FET and that could work and after everything it could all be down to the numbers game. There is a huge amount these doctors dont know. I aksed my consultant last week how and why would my ovarian reserve have fallen 80% in 18 months and her answer was i cant tell you why and no one could. We just dont know so much.
Im not going to lie, this build up to your lap is obviously going to be hugely stressful and worrying but its highly likely what you hear when you wake up is not going to be as bad as what you think they are going to say. You have heard all the shocking stuff, you now need to know your options and how it can be fixed. Also, pregnancy is two stages and you are half way there. You make great quality embies , its now the implantation stage they need to work on. But I know its so easy for me and people to say all this positive stuff when actually youre living and breathing it. Its emotional hell and theres no other way to describe it. massive hug.
Euro - oh ffs. something obviously did happen this month. how bloody annoying and upsetting. Out of interest, will you go back on the steroids if/when you get to ivf stage?
Rabbit just what you have been through makes me . And now your flipping tooth. I hope its better today.
Art - i don't blame you not wanting to talk about maternity leave. Talk about rubbing it in. pilates will be fine. a bit of gentle exercise is fine. I hope you are ok otherwise.
Nelly GOOD LUCK!! Let us know what is happening in there. Oh and absolutely i think i will be the only one left. I think after this amount of time it's only natural to fear the worst. Pregnancy becomes unimaginable. Even though i have had a bfp once , it still feels like it is impossible to happen again. I also look around me and I have come across so many stories of people who have had huge problems, illness, cancer etc and where it all looked bleak yet they still managed to get pregnant in a reasonable amount of time. So my feeling is that something is very wrong with me. I dont like hearing about amh either it makes me feel sick. Fecking bastard of a test. But your AFC count wasnt that low was it? I thought it was the same as mine.
Buzzy its quite extraordinary what a turn around you have had. Its very inspirational. Do you put it solely down to coaching? I dont know why my mother is anti ivf. I dont think she actually knows what it is or perhaps if she does perhaps she doesnt want me to go through it.
Cosmos love the youtube clip. Sometimes there are no words and a good link to smething is best.
Weirdly I think my mum is trying to be supportive in a warped way. By telling me there is nothing wrong, she hopes that i will miraculously get pregnant. i feel for her. I am her only chance for having grandchildren. She is the only one of her friends who isnt a granny and she does love babies and kids. God, i would love to produce her a grandchild then she can stop rocking her dogs like a baby ...which unfortunately i found myself doing the other weekend . I honestly think i prefer dogs to babies and kids though. I have thought about this a lot.
Anyway there has been so much interesting chat on here yesterday and i know i have missed loads but i need to crack on with some work.
Loo post again . Well the fast fill bladder was back . But there is some progress. The 10 is now 12mm and one of the 6-9 on the left is now 10mm. Still have one on each measuring 6-9 as well. e2 was 444 on Monday (from 55 on Friday). Lining 11mm is now ok. She said its slow but there is some more growth. Have 6 more days of drugs in hand now. If E2 has climbed I go back on Friday. If not very high I keep injecting till Monday. So EC won't be till next week, maybe even later in the week. Don't know if the smaller 2 will grow more or not. They want at least 15mm so they have a heck of a way to go.
Joy AFC was: 1 (burst) at 18mm, one on each ovary at 9mm and 3 smaller on each ovary 2-5mm. But they don't count those small ones and therefore class my AFC as very low.
Oh mrsden - I don't get migraines but how unpleasant. My heart does do some weird beating when I panic though. Breath out for 5 secs and then hold breath for 2 and the breath in for 5 to try and control it an get the c02 back in your blood, that can be why you have palpitations. I have to do this on aeroplanes!
Yay for growth nelly, that sounds so much more positive than when you posted last week.
Joy, I think your mum sounds like she is trying in her way to be supportive. I think it's tough for families when they can't make the situation ok, they don't know what to say or do to make things better.
Sar, your consultant does sound nice. I'm sorry you're worried about the op and what they'll find. We will all be here holding your hand.
Nelly - that's all looking good and things are still moving forward. Wow the change in E2 is immense. It just tAkes one and you are doing really well. Are you feeling ok?
MrsDen migraines are horrid. Definitely practice belly breathing if you can to calm the heart rate. Hope you feel better. Yes def more positive, any progress is better than none?
Joy I feel fine, other than the actual stress of worrying about progress. No side effects. No problems with bloating or hair loss or anything. Bit tired but then I always am and I think that's age and wedding stress. the change in bloods is interesting. Def glad I didn't cancel. Even if we don't get to EC stage at least I know I tried.
Am guzzling water now. Hunting out avocado at lunchtime too. <desperate>.
Nelly - very pleases you didn't cancel as well! Out of interest do you compare notes with your sister and her experience and test results? Was she unexplained?
Mrsden - I agree I think my mum is but so annoying too!
nelly good news on the progress. I am so pleased that things worked out and the cycle is going strong for you.
joycep It is strange when people seem anti IVF. I had never really pondered it before all this barren crap but never had strong thoughts on it. I just thought it was a good thing. I'm not sure that Leonards parents are that keen & hadn't realised that for Roman Catholics IVF is a big no, no and that in their minds the baby has no soul. That really pissed me off when I read that and I am just willing anyone to ever breathe anything along that vein to me.
gin how are you today? Thinking of you.
rabbits how is the tooth? I live in fear of toothache. It is the pits. I agree with Nelly about maybe trying clove oil. Also you can buy a gel for toothache. It's quite expensive but Leonard swears by it when his wisdom teeth get infected.
sarlat how are you bearing up today? Your consultant sounds nice but it is such a lot to process.
doll how are you? I have to say that I was horrified that nobody checked your name....cripes!
artemis I'm thinking of you too and fingers crossing.
buzzy it is so good to hear how much better you are feeling. When I hit the bottom I too made a bit of a decision that enough was enough. I literally had no more emotional energy left for temping and Googling. I also hear you on the deciding not be be a victim anymore and not being a doormat for selfish people. Actually I would say that that decision has been one definite positive outcome from this whole sorry mess.
Mrsd sorry about the migraine. I get a whopper too before my period
and then most days during my period I reckon it is do with crashing progesterone and rising estrogen. Have you tried popping a couple of aspirin with a coke or coffee? Burnt toast is apparently a good cure too though I haven't tried it because our smoke alarms are so sensitive!
The talk about feeling like we will be the one who doesn't get a baby was interesting. I think most of us feel that. I personally find it really difficult to be positive and am afraid that by being positive I might tempt fate into kicking me in the teeth. Also like buzzy said I personally find it less painful to have low expectations.
No news from Pout Towers. We found a gorgeous house but the agent is asking over £600 in fees for contracts, check-ins, deposit release???? It is absolute daylight robbery and obviously a no, no [throws massive wobbly smiley]
Love and waves to everyone I've missed.
Yes unexplained. She never had an AMH test done, and FSH bit lower than mine (9 I think). Was never told she had a low reserve. But she responded better than me. Which in a way it makes a mockery of the whole mums menopause theory?
On the down side she hated the IVF as DR made her feel unwell. So at least I feel happy to go
as many times as needed again. Which I won't need as my one and a half follies are going to win me a baybee . <positive.>
joycep after the cervical scare I don't plan to ever take the steroids or anything else that F***s with my immune system ever again.
Nelly your follies are making progress - hurrah!
mrsd I feel for you. I had my first migrane in about 20 years when I was on Letrozole. And it was my first with visual disturabnces (usually they just make me extremely pukey).
pout can you contact the LL directly and tell him you love the house but won't pay that level of fees? He might be able to negotiate them down. You can find the LL via the land registry website, if you don't know who it is.
Cross post pout and I'm on a call so this may be more garbled than usual?! Ffs to the Catholic view. For real? Gawd. At risk of alienating some people I think the Catholic Church has a bloody lot to answer for. That story about the lady who died in ROI last month was awful. Well I've got news for you all. There is no God. So There. <shakes fist> .
I'm sorry you to feel that you will not get your baby, but you will. I have decreed it .
Interesting you see the cycle as going strong. I still very much feel like its on a knife edge. I guess it's hard to remain objective when you are right in the middle of it though. In my heart I think 1 follie is rather desperate though. I'm really hoping the other 2 small ones put on a growth spurt as 4 feels reasonable for my age/prognosis. It was always a long shot, but if I get a few follies to that stage, even if it doesn't end in a BFP, then I will feel I did as well as can be expected and there is still hope. Whereas only 1 follie feels like I'm only clinging on by a rag nail to everything that makes me a woman . Does that seem nuts? I'd rather fail as a result of some hitherto unknown random issue, than fail because of the inevitable conclusion of my aging ovaries. In other words I want to prove my AMH wrong even if I don't get pregnant.. Makes no sense does it? I'm just fed up being written off. It makes me feel old and discarded. Meh.
I also remembered a crazy thing I did this weekend. Remember the Aveda chat? Well I changed as its nice for my hair. But last week as we were away for a couple of days I was using my kerastase in the travel bottle and decided to finish it up. Then I got the bad scan. On Saturday we were going out so I used the Aveda so got a good scan. On Monday night I was washing my hair, picked up the travel bottle, poured it in my hand. Then stood there for about 30 seconds, deciding whether to put it on my head or pour it down the drain. Honestly, in what world does 3 uses of a non-organic shampoo make the difference between follies growing, or not. in my crazy TTC world, that's where.
Gin how are you? Hanging in there? Hope you are ok.
Same to Art and Doll. Thinking of you and all the twins.
Rabbit is the tooth any better?
Ok better actually listen to this call for a bit...
nelly I did giggle at the thought of you on the phone whilst mumsnetting.
People on the outside being more positive than we feel I think is a typical thing. On the outside you can see things more clearly. I think when we view our own situations we muddy the waters with all the emotional baggage and weird little thoughts.....like shampoo jinxing your follies I laugh only because that is exactly the type of warped mental bollocks that I do!
BTW I do understand you wanting on some level to prove the AMH wrong. I spend a lot of time lately wondering whether the TTC quest for me has turned into me needing to "win" this battle against my body and prove that I can do it, and get pregnant.
As for the RC IVF thing I actually first read about it on MN. I was absolutely horrified to Google it and find it was true. Then the penny started to rattle around my head a bit about what Leonard's parents think about it all....
euro thanks for your good advice as ever! We have since found the house listed with another agent and have put our name forward
along with all the other applicants who don't have dogs and will likely "win" the house instead
pout there are definitely levels of catholics. My friend who has three gorgeous IVF babies is married to a catholic (she's sort of hindu/agnostic!). His late father completely doted on the eldest before he died. They did feel a bit odd about "left over" embryos (and they luckily had their twins from their last frostie so didn't end up having any left over to make decisions about), but so do I and I do not believe in any form of sky pixie!
rabbit I hope the tooth is better. Mr Euro suffers with this. His dad (a dentist) recommended having them removed but he has woosed out so far! About once a year
usually when we are about to do something important it flares up and causes him absolute agont.
pout glad you have found a house, fingers crossed you get it.
nelly I'm glad things are going better for you
mrsd commiserations on the migraines, I find mine vary, sometimes I get the aura others it just starts like a headache I never leave the house without my triptans
joy I'd put most of it down to life coaching, not really convinced the low dosage anti depressants are doing much I think I had just reached the end of the road with all the misery and like I said I didn't want to be a victim of my own circumstances anymore, all the crying and stressing hasn't helped me at all, I know I was stressing out Barry and making us both miserable, I feel more accepting of my situation and more in control.
It still hurts when you get preggy announcements, MIL's friend told me she is pregnant now then went onto complain that the pregnancy will either work or end in a miscarriage again yes that is the case for every pregnancy, I reminded her how fortunate she is to be pregnant!!!! and after such a short time since her last pregnancy!!! I understand she is worried but she is now under the care of Shehata on the NHS, there is little more that can be done at this stage, other than to take the steroids and have the regular scans. After saying that I haven't cried or felt distressed about it like I have in the past, which makes a big difference. I was annoyed that she took so long to tell me when I knew she was pregnant and kept asking, I don't need or deserve to be treated like that
V quick. Bloods now at 935. More than doubled in 2 days. About exactly as they'd expect so the follies are doing something. Yay! I've to go back on Friday. Kind of like me not to do anything until the last minute. off to acu, post later.
nelly super news on the bloods
says she who had no blood work and knows nothing I see your cycle as positive, I compared my run up to EC with that of gin and Artemis obviously because it was the same time, so mine looked bad (and lets face it wasn't great), now because I went to EC and ET and your cycle looks a lot like mine did at this point it looks good to me. Simplistic rubbish I know but there you have it [ grin]
gin I don't see a recent post from you, I hope you are ok love.
Sending waves to everyone, non-IFVers I'm reading even if I don't always have something to say. euro we are a non-sky pixie household too, but Ken is from a RC background. I just brought up the no-soul baby and he said 'sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't think you would mind'. I'm really knocked out this evening, I had to go to the border today which is a mountain road and the drive made me car sick. I am being completely wet because all I had to do was sit in a car for a few hours, talk to some people then sit in a car for a few hours but feel like I've been run over by a bus. Loves to all. X
Hi ladies. Just popping in quickly. It was my first day back at work and an totally shattered! I too have a migraine thing mrsd. I didn't get any during stimming and last ivf cycle got none at all.
Great news about the bloods nellie. I am still convinced you will get a good no. of eggs and as doll has shown, you really don't need many. In fact despite, all my eggs, I ended up with only 3 embryos by day 3.
It's official test day tomorrow and am convinced it'll be negative after yesterday's bfn. I've managed not to cry today though so that's good. Thank you so much for your kind words ladies. You are luffley. Dave and I have tomorrow off and will be going for a boozy pub lunch.
Waves to all.
Fingers massively crossed for you Gin. It must be so hard to try to stay calm. I hope that you won't be having quite such a boozy lunch as you are planning. Keep us all posted
I will try not to give you all a blow by blow account of my day tomorrow . My ovaries are definitely starting to feel tender. I have to say it makes me wonder about the weight thing. Perhaps there is no room for more follies to grow, if I can feel this way just with 2 that are getting to measurable size. An excuse to eat pies, no?
gin - good luck. I so hope that you get better news than you expect tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you get happy news. I wish I could say the right thing - I wish this whole thing wasn't so hard.
nelly I am so glad that your follies are growing and your bloods look good. I am furious at the nurse who upset you last week. What a rollercoaster. Good luck tomorrow.
rabbit hope the tooth is feeling better. I can't believe what you've been through, bloody hell. Talk about a tough year.
sar I am sorry that you cried on the consultant. I think it is hard for doctors to understand how this affects us. And you've had a really rough ride over the past year, and been coping with it brilliantly. Keep the faith. You will get there.
cosmos loved the link.
madness your smoking story made me laugh! Hope the appointment went well.
art and doll - I am willing your little embies to be settling in. I hope you're both managing with the stressful wait.
On the RC thing, it was definitely something that worried me when I first started thinking about IVF. But now that I know it's the only way that I can get pregnant I feel more at peace about doing it. I feel like I've given my body every chance to have a baby in the natural way, but it isn't happening. I refuse to believe that God doesn't want me to have a baby, or is punishing me for not starting earlier, or that it's just 'meant to be' as I have heard non-barrens blithely sometimes saying. And even some of my super RC friends use contraception methods that stop the fertilised egg implanting, rather than preventing fertilisation at all.
It's Thanksgiving tomorrow so I have a four day weekend, which will be really nice. Work has been pressured recently. It will be good to have some time away from the office.
Sorry not to namecheck more - have done the usual thing of getting overwhelmed by how much I've missed.
Morning all. Have been managing to keep up with reading but not had time for a proper post. As usual rushing off to work this morning but wanted to say good luck to gin and nelly. Here's hoping for a very fattening pub lunch minus the booze . That goes for you too Nelly - any excuse for pie and chips is a good one in my book!
Will make sure I get on to name check everyone tonight.
Quick phone post from me from a busy, super-early train journey (I remembered to get dressed properly this time ). Just popping in to say yay to Nelly for the follies - I'm cross with that nurse from last week too - and big hug to Gin. I'm keeping everything crossed for some good news and a booze free lunch.
Reception is dubious so I won't linger, will be back later. 6 hours on trains today for a 1-hour meeting
Buzz - I felt sad reading your above post. What a hard time you have had. It must be so tought not having a good relationship with your mother. I agree wit Joy, your change in direction is amazing and shows how much inner strangth you have. Amazing lady! Sorry about the weird behavior from MIL's friend.
Cos - thanks for the link. You have a very calming influence. How are you getting on? Do you have a plan of action baed on your recent infection investigations.
Rabbit - wow, you story is quite something. I am not supreised you are shaken and unnerved after everything and you must follow your heart about not wanting intervention at present. You body has healed remakably well. Did you say the Dr's actually took your womb out of you body and held it?
Den - sorry for the headache and heart palpatations - that must be scary, I don't have any advice but what others have said sound useful. Stimming can bering some funny side effects but not always the ones you think you might get.
Joy - thank you for the vote of confidence in my surgery decisions and all of your reassurance. Thanks for the hugs. I wonder if it may be worthwhile asking your mum to look at some IVF success stories and try and educate her a little. She does want to support you I agree and I wonder if she is choosing not to think about IVF because she worried it is far more painful / intrusive/ bizzare than it really is. I am sorry, this is an extra layer of stress you don't need. If it were me, I would choose to view it as you do which is she cares for you deeply and just wants everything to be ok. I have no doubt that if you gae birth to her grandchild and it was conceived via IVF then IVF would become the best thing since sliced bread.
Nelly - hooray this is getting better and better. And your follies are growing like mine did easy does it . It makes me wonder how many cycles get abondoned unnecissarily. Keep going and keep believing my lovely. One day at a time with IVF and I don't think you sound nuts. Sometimes, there are more eggs than what there appear follies. It's great about your womb lining too. Good luck for today's scan - and I do want a blow by blow account
Pout - sorry about your Les' parents funny attitudes - not helpful.
Would it suprise you all to learn I am a practising Catholic? I can assure you that IVF isn't a big no no. There is still some conflict within the church about if of course but it's not IVF itself that is the problem. And there isn't a big doctrine to say not to do it. The main issue is that the embryo is viewed as a life in it's own right and therefore needs to be given the opportunity for survival. And this is a viewpoint held by many non catholics of course too. Believe me I researched all of this plenty before starting my IVF. The great thing about IVF tecnhiques at present is you can freeze viable embryos so it is totally compatable with this view point. They can be given that opportunity for survival. The 'no soul' thing is utter garbage and not a commonly held view - in fact I have never heard of that and the catholics I know view these babies as extra special. I think it's very easy to read weirdo and non-represetative stuff on the internet becuase that is where weirdo's spout their rubbish. I think if Len's parents are anti-IVF then they would be anyway if you know what I mean, just like many others of that generation, or younger for that matter. Many people find IVF unsettling because they don't understand it and find a reason for it to be wrong. As someone who works in health professions I have seen many types of interventions (including the ones I offer) viewed with suspicion by many different types of people and sometimes people's reaction to scary intervention is simply to say it is 'wrong' or 'not natural'. I hope that helps a little Pout? Also the catholics arround me have been very supportive and commited towards what I am doing and helping me get through it. Please be aware that the tragedy of the lady who died in Galway is also not a reflection of catholicsm. Women who have pregnancies which could threaten life are certainly not expected to contine with the pregnancy. I think the fact that this story made headlines show this is a rare situation and that something somwhere has gone badly wrong. Someone is responsable for this awful decsion making but not necissarily in the name of catholicsm.
Gin - thinking of you with the test today. Stand by boozy pub lunch sounds perfect
Critter - enjoy the long bank holiday.
Sar, I also think the no soul thing is not a mainstream rc belief. Within any religion there are people with crazy views. The destroying embryos thing can be an issue. I'm not really religious, but I don't like the thought of it so we will freeze any if we're lucky to have spares. We haven't told people because I couldn't bear to here any of the no soul crap, although I would be very, very surprised if anyone I know holds those views.
Nelly, I too am cross with that nurse who upset you unnecessarily, I think people have no idea how stressful this is for us, and we need positivity not doom. What if you'd taken the decision yourself to give up over the weekend?
Gin, thinking of you today. A boozy lunch sounds fab, pub lunches are one of my biggest things I miss about the uk. Please tell me what you eat so I can salivate.
Thanks for the migraine tips. This is day two now, the headache is now a dull pain so not too bad but i still feel sick. The missed heartbeat thing is odd, it only started yesterday just before the migraine so I think it must be linked. It's not all the time, just every now and again, it's a horrible sensation. I've only taken ibuprofen as that's all I've got in. When I'm next in the uk, I'm going to buy some over the counter stuff, what's the most effective stuff to take?
I'm wondering how princess is? Has the sickness subsided? When is the scan?
Oh and happy thanksgiving critter!
Well it's definitely going to be a boozy lunch today
Gin, I'm so very sorry. I know how heartbroken you will be, if I could do or say anything to make it better I would.
Oh Gin, there are no words for how cruel, heartbreaking and unfair all this is. I am so so sorry. Sending lots of love to you and mrgin. I am thinking of you.
Will be back later .
Oh Gin I'm so very sorry . Big hugs. I hope you and Dave are as ok as can be expected. Thinking of you .
Sar my scan isn't till tomorrow. Today's blow by blow would be "my ovaries hurt". "Now they don't". "I'm drinking water". "I'm eating protein". Riveting stuff huh .
MrsD glad the headache is subsiding a bit. That must be miserable. I hope you feel better soon.
Art ugh to long pointless train journeys.
Doll also ugh to car sickness and windy roads.
It is a miserable wet day here. Proper nasty. I am hugging hot water bottles for warmth not their follicle growing capacity. Still I have a rather awesome break to look forward to. Just the small detail of IVF and a wedding to deal with first.
Had a wedding dream last night. It was chaos. It got to the end and I was wearing a random gold flouncy number, and hadn't noticed. Also wasn't sure if the photographer had been so grabbed a few folk and took photos on my phone. I couldn't remember most of it (ie the wedding) and didn't know who had turned up. So I was furious we'd bothered to spend all that money. We didn't dance half the dances that we were meant to (its a ceilidh). I think my laid back disorganised stance is beginning to play on my mind .
Just here to say damn gin I'm sorry. Look after each other. X
Gin I am so sorry. This is so unfair. I was so hoping you'd get good news. It's absolutely crushing.
Running in to give gin a massive love. I'm so sorry, the unfairness of it all makes me drink like a fish, cry and be cross but know that you WILL get there and we are here right behind you. <kicks big finger>
Gin I'm absolutely gutted for you, and Mr Gin. Massive hugs. Hope the boozy lunch involves some serious cocktails. I know how much it hurts and I'm so sorry for you going through this. Don't lose faith you will get your baby win at some point I'm convinced.
Nelly I am doing a touch line Pom Pom dance for your follies, they sound like they're doing their thing in their own time and will not be rushed. I love love love the sound of your winter wedding with your simple dress and a ceilidh. Can we have a blow by blow account of the wedding too afterwards?!
Doll how are you doing, how are finding entering the dreaded wait period. I found that the hardest part as suddenly all the appointments stop and you're in limbo land.
Mrsden I get the extra heartbeat thing. It's awful isn't it. I think it's linked to stress. I've had it much less since I've been doing all my stress relief activities. I don't get migrains though so I'm not sure about that.
Sar thanks so much for sharing about being a practising catholic. I am from a very RC background and wider family - and to me it means lots of ordinary, kind caring people, I don't connect at all to these extreme views you read about and am always a bit saddened that this horrible view of the religion doesnt match my experiences of it. I am at the no soul view Pout, how horrible.
Pout and Buzzy it sounds like you've both made a huge turning point with you're overall wellness. It takes such courage to face any of these issues I'm so pleased for you both that you've reached a happier place.
Rabbit I was at your list of medical things. No wonder it feels like you've been through enough already.
Joy I always enjoy reading your posts you are very much an input of joy on here.
Euro I did have a moment after this recent examination of my cervix being so inflamed of thinking that all those immune suppressants can have done me no good at all. I won't be taking them again either now, I don't think.
Critter I've heard lots of people say things like well nature / god made the plants and the people that evolved into scientists that created all these medications and treatments therefore you can look at it like everything has its beginnings in nature / god (depending on your own view obvs)
Big waves to Art and Madness.
doll Mr Euro is also from an RC background and even went to a Jesuit boarding school. But he is now a firm athiest.
The tiredness could be a good sign? I was completely wiped out before my period started....
nelly hurrah for good hormone levels!
Gin I'm sorry about the BFN.
To end on a positive note, Critter I hope you are enjoying Thanksgiving. I am enjoying a few hours of peace from Stateside emails!
Oh Gin. Huge hugs. I am genuinely absolutely gutted for you . I can't think of anything remotely helpful to say except that I'm thinking of you and Dave - had really hoped that today would bring a positive result.
On the train home now after a 90% pointless meeting. Neither wifi nor plug sockets are working so I'll back later to catch up properly. Waves to all
gin that is so shit and I am so sad for you. You are such a lovely person and you deserve your baby.
thinking of you. X
Gin - sweetheart, so sorry for the news. Another big hug from me. But I hope you are merrily tipsy on your fancy cocktails and letting your cares wash away. I will also reiterate this isn't the end. It's just part of the journey. A shit jouney - yes , but a journey with a happy end!
Doll and Art thinking of you. Any updates?
Nelly - I still enjoyed todays blow by blow account . Hurty ovaries are a good sign. But good luck for tomorrow. I remember getting bizzare wedding dreams like that - so weird aren't they.
Cosmos - that's interesting about the steroid and cervix thing too.
I had another shit day today. I work with a very experinced radiographer (who has previously told me about her own IVF success). We were waiting for our patient to arrive and because he was late I plucked up the courage to tell her about my troubles. Also, she does HSG's at our hospital. It was great to talk to her both from an emotional / empathy point of view and also from a diagnostics point of view. The patient didn't turn up at all in the end so we had a long convo. I described my HSG results and sadly she thinks based on my description that the right tubes does sound like it has a hydrosalpinx and ought to come out. I guess I got a second opinion for free but unfortunatley I didn't get the answer I wanted. She also seemed to think hydrosalpinxes are often just there and not due to STD / PID / endo. She thinks my left tube might (but might is all) be ok and has agreed to read my HSG report which I have requested a copy of.
In all honesty ladies, would you be prepared to have a your tubes removed if it might increase your chances of IVF? I can not seem to stop feeling distressed by this issue. I know I am a complete bore and I just need to wait for the lap and get a certain diagnosis. But I suppose I am trying to prepare for the worst which seems to be the most likely outcome.
On a positve note, she said that loads of staff in the radiology department have had IVF. She said everyone but one perosn has had a baby now and the one who hasn't is still going through the process. She thinks the chances are good but of course the multiple attempts aren't always possible. Hope that gives some people a little hope.
sar I'm sorry that is what you've heard today. But you really do need to see what they find at the lap I think. You have been pregnant - if your colleague is right and the (possible) hydro could have just been there, then maybe it's taking longer because of it and nothing more? Stacks on here had one blocked tube that made things take a while? The fluid leaking thing does make it more tricky but you need to know for sure thats even happening. I would TOTALLY find it hard to have a tube removed but, if a def hydro was found and I was told it was most likely a non functional tube that could be hampering chances, I'd be inclined to do it. But that leaves still a good chance of a natural pregnancy. But I don't think I could part with both, no. I'm not sure if another view of it helps, I'm sure everyone will think different things putting themselves in those shoes. But you are so young, make great embryos and have loads of things in your favour. I saw my acu today. We made a firm plan that I'm downing tools on ttc til February officially. I'm not charting/opk etc and will book my feb apt in the new year. So I'm going to try and just do birthday and Christmas and v work heavy january just being old rabbit, with old ways. Could you maybe have some time away from thinking about things in a sar/rabbit pact? Not thinking about the lap and outcomes is going to be hard but maybe you could catch breath and draw up tentative plans for possible scenarios with chum, seal them up in a mental box and have a little sit down from the worries? I'm prob spouting all post acu woo but it's made me feel a lot better wacking it all on the shelf for a bit, knowing I'll be facing up to things in 2013. Hand hold and 10month plus tail blow dry. It will be ok, your words to gin (still thinking of you lovely) are so true of you too.
Oh gin I know I wasn't the only one rushing home tonight in hopes of good news. It really is so unfair..... There is nothing to say that will make you feel better tonight, but I really hope that after some time you are able to move forward and plan for what will undoubtedly be happier days to come xxxx
Sar I think that I'm in a pretty good position for a chat about the tube issues and I think that we have differing views about it. It is also my right tube that appears to have the hydrosalpinx. There is less uncertainty for me on that front because it showed up on ultrasounds and my mri. My consultant has said that if the tube is as blocked and distended as it appears, I will not be using it to get pregnant naturally and if we move on to ivf having the leaking fluid will decrease our chances of success by half. For those reasons, I have accepted that it has to go. Further supporting this decision - and this is purely in my case - it is in this tube that I developed the abscess. I now live in fear of that infection recurring in the fluid filled tube. Until last year I had always been a very healthy person - no surgery, no broken bones, no hospital admissions - and this infection made me incredibly sick. I had a raging fever, a racing heart and unbearable pain that literally had me on my knees. I don't want to risk it again...... I will find it incredibly difficult, however, if they say that both tubes need to go in order to increase my ivf chances. I have accepted losing one but I can't quite get my head around the possibility that ivf would be our only way of having a baby. I trust my consultant that he will leave the left tube alone, even if it is damaged and scarred, so long as it is not irreparably blocked. It is so frightening though to know that we will be fast asleep while all of this is happening and we have to put our trust in people who we don't really know and who don't care as much about whether we have kids as we do...... I don't know that that will help you at all, but it's my thinking just now, with three weeks to go before the lap.
Nelly perhaps we have sat in the same NHS clinic looking at the no smoking signs. Really looking forward to all of the wedding stories. We had a ceilidh too - it was hilarious watching all my relatives from overseas trying to keep up with strip the willow . Good luck for tomorrow.
Critter have you had a lovely turkey dinner? My ex boyfriend's mum used to make yams with marshmallows on top - so wrong and yet so yummy at the same time. I've never been popular in my family for not liking pumpkin pie - I'd much rather have cheesecake .
Hello to joy pout cosmos mrsd art rabbit euro and doll!!
Ooh thanksgiving........lets all be thankful for........this thread??
Hello ladies, So much happening on this thread
gin I'm so sorry - I hope you had a lovely boozy lunch yesterday and am sending you a big hug. So disappointing and I know we are all here for you.
artemis and doll hope you're both hanging in there and nelly hope scan goes well today.
rabbit I think a break sounds very sensible, enjoy the festive season and see what 2013 brings.
sar and thatway Such tricky decisions about tubes - but it does sound like having one out if it helps is the right route - when I was told I had a blocked tube, I really viewed it like a traitor! Sar so good to chat to someone in RL with experience, sounds incredibly helpful
euro it does sound like something happened - I think take hope that your body is working out what to do and will just sort itself out, fingers crossed for the next cycle.
Waves to pout critter cosmos* buzzy* joy and everyone else I've missed.
I've been keeping my head down holding out for the viability scan next week. I still have sore breasts, am tired
not a new symptom but now blaming it on hcg and intermittent nausea. Not sure the nausea is real either, and am dreading it getting any worse. I do feel bloated and really chubby. But otherwise, without the bfp I'm not sure I'd really believe it- so not different to pre-AF symptoms, just going on for longer?!
Sorry about all the typos... My phone seems to like to change 'of' to 'if'
gin did your post with the typos not actually post? Loves to you. I do hope you are ok.
nelly good luck with the scan today.
rabbit it sounds like a break is in order. I've already made a post-IVF plan to not go back to charting and taking my slim natural chances as they are without all that. I think I've learnt as much as a can at this point anyway, just fuel to the mental, for me, at this point.
sar and madness what difficult tube issues, I have no personal experience to draw on. I think I'm on the traitor line of thinking like mellow
What day is your scan on next week mellow ?
So I'm a week past my EC today without much to report. Using the cosmos analytic method, I feel not significantly different from all my
many non-pregnant months, early days.. Artemis you are a few days ahead of me, right? How are you? I feel for you on the long trips for little reward, it basically sums up my whole professional life at the moment.
Many waves pout critter joy euro mrsd buzzy and everyone out there today.
Gin how are you? still thinking of you.
Sar im sorry about another crappy day. Of course you cant stop feeling distressed its bloody awful decision. I think you do need to find out whats happening from the lap and that will dictate your decision. Nothing has been that clear cut for you yet , its all may be this or may be that. Its interesting hearing Madness thought processes though and she has great advice and as does Rabbit. I just wish you werent going through this.
Nelly i hope things go ok for you today.
Madness i cant believe all this abscess and hydosalpinx has happened to you too. Its so bloody tough. How are you feeling about the lap. You sound quite calm.
Mrsmellow all sounds good with your symptoms. Let us know how you get on next week and best of luck.
Mrsd i hpe your migraine has gone.
at the no soul thing. People do have crazy views. I dont think those people have a soul if they spout that.
So , roy and i are down to swi once again. sigh, is anyone else just totally fed up?! i really enjoyed last month not having to think about it. anyway that disgusting smell has gone after sex. The antibs must have cleared up something.
Also, i think im going to have start the ivf process in 2 weeks now or whenever my period comes. My degree course begins at the start of march and because my clinic do a monitoring cycle and ive got to get my immunes tested which can delay things, i think starting in Jan is going to be problematic. The monitoring is going to interfere with xmas which will be a pain but i think i need to press on. I cant put off the inevitable.
Hope Art and Doll are doing ok. Waves to everyone else.
Bloody mumsnet! Here's what I meant to post - luckily I saved it elsewhere. Oh and my period now appears to have started, just as I had to give a presentation...
Hi ladies. Thank so much for all your kind kind words. They made me cry, but in a good way. Your support has been invaluable. Big luffs to you all. I cried some more yesterday and we then went on a bit of a pub crawl. This time has felt really hard I think as we (and the clinic) thought the embryos had a good chance and I did have some real nausea, funny taste etc, although that could have been the progesterone. I know with time, i'll feel better. Did those of you who've done several AC cycles find the bfns increasingly hard? Dave seems ok, but he's good at hiding stuff. He did say that he feels his chance to have kids is over and it's up to me if we do donor insemination, as it'd be no different to adoption for him. I tried to put him right on this! I find it frustrating that he seems to get more upset by work stuff than this, but don't want to push him to talk about it, as I'm sure there must be some deep down pain about it. Men eh?
We'll book a follow up and discuss the FET. It's a shit load of money, as is donor sperm, but I think it's better to get on with it whilst I'm younger, rather than spending years saving. I'm just waiting for my period now I've made an effort not to be so attached to the embryos this time (ie no Zita west cd), so we'll see how that goes. I already feel attached to the little frostie though!
Anyway, enough about me. I'm back at work so may be a bit more mumsnet lite than I've been recently. And I plan to spend most of Dec drunk!
sar I'm so sorry to hear that you are in such a dilemma about your tubes. Personally, I totally understand why you wouldn't want to loose part if yourself. You need all the information before you can make a decision. I feel very powerless in this whole infertility thing and feel it us important to make decisions where we have the choice, rather than letting drs make them for us. It's a very personal thing and I think you need to do what's right for you.
Having said that madness I can see why you are at peace with having your tube removed. I've had an abscess in my leg and it was the most painful thing I have ever encountered!
nellie hope your appointment today goes ok.
joy the image of your mother rocking the dog like a baby still makes me giggle. Gosh not long to go re the ivf. Does that mean you'd be doing it over Xmas?
critter happy thanksgiving!
Hope the other ivfers are doing ok.
Gotta go - time to change trains!
V quick. Good scan. My 12 has jumped to 16mm in 2 days. There is also now a 5th follie. So they want me to come back on Monday to try to get the others to catch up. 4 or 5 follies would be amazing from where I started last week.
Better go, chat tonight xxx
gin I am devastated for you, I really mean that. Do you get a follow up with the clinic. Although I suppose they have no more idea than you about why it didn't work. Getting on with the fet sounds sensible to me. Everything I read says fet can have better outcomes. Dave sounds a lot like mrden. I haven't brought up donor sperm with him yet,my guess is he will be against it but who knows? It's not something we could do here, we'd have to have it in the uk. You don't have a reason for his low count do you? Is there anything more to explore with this?
sar my thoughts on this are that you should see what happens at the lap. If the tube is bad, and it would hamper ivf working then I think I would want it removed. But that's easy for me to say when I'm not in your position. I have a relative with one tube, I'm not exactly sure why she had one removed but she did go on to have 2 children naturally after it was removed. Tubes and ovaries are a bit like kidneys, we have two only as a spare and can cope fine with one. If you think ivf is your only option then not having tubes doesn't affect this, but I k now that's not the point.
euro your cycle does sound strange and like something happened. Or could it have been a dud cycle with no ovulation? I know that my cycles when this happens are totally odd.
My migraine has gone woo hoo! It lasted two days though and it was the first one 2.5 years so I'm hoping it's not going to be a regular thing now. It really wiped me out. I'm on cd33 now and no af, Ive had sore boobs for a week. I'm metalling. I had this last month and it screws me up. I'm wondering if i should test just to put myself out of he misery.
Great news nelly. Enjoy a lovely weekend with all those follies!
This is probably a stupid question but are all these scans in ivf to look at the follies, internal ones?
Not sure my sign off met MN etiquette
Gin bloody Grrrr to ERTD. I feel for you so much. Pub crawl sounds like a solution.
Joy, bloody hell the IVF is coming round fast.
Good for you nelly . At this stage I had 3 with two question mark ones (one too big and one too small) my small one never bothered growing but the big guy slowed up so I ended with 4 of the right size. Sounds like you should have at least 4. You're getting there girl.....
Yes mrsd the good old fannycam....
Mrsden do a test! Bloody hell I'd be going mental.
Yes, all internal - TV. I'm getting like (who was it? Euro? You?) and whipping my knickers off the minute I'm in a treatment room.
Kind of interesting as in mine they have a tv screen (that's television this time, not trans vaginal ) at the end of the bed. I've seen my bladder bowel uterus and ovaries. Allegedly.
Doll 4 would be amazing. I would feel like it was 2 fingers up to the doom and gloom AMH doctor. He's still a bastard .
Gin I worry my reply was insensitive. Of course a pub crawl isn't a solution . Just a temporary sticking plaster. Re finding out what went wrong, I've seen on others threads tests about lining being out of phase etc. not suggesting that's an issue, just that there are other avenues to explore. I hope your clinic are pro-active but prod them if not. Big luffs.
sarlat I completely understand how agonising this decision must be. It seems so illogical that removing a reproductive part might help us reproduce!
joy how long did it take to get your greek test results? My sample should reach them today.
Gin spending December drunk sounds very therapeutic. You sound very balanced about what happened. Poor Mr Gin. It sounds like he is really hurting though. Would it be worth looking into the sperm DNA frag stuff? That can apparently explain why apparently good embies don't last past a few days.
Nelly that is great news!
mrsd it's possible, but I got a big temp rise, which suggests there was a corpus luteum releasing progesterone. Bizarrely, my temp didn't drop properly until yesterday and my period normally arrives the day of or the day after the big drop. And I was due yesterday/today. So my temps seems to have had a normal length cycle but my bleed was completely out of synch and started Monday! I'm glad the migrane has gone. Sore boobs and a long cycle, you say....
too 'allegedly' and wiping knickers off. At least your bloke isn't eyeing up the loos....
Mrsd sorry missed your other post before, well well interesting. Are you proper late?
Would you believe it? Threatening to test has spurred the witch into action. Just been to the loo and wiped and there was blood. I'm so used to it now, I'm not bothered. This is now officially the starting ivf cycle. It starts with a scan between days 21 and 25 and then if all ok and sp is agreed I'd start injecting on the start of the next cycle. Onwards and upwards. Because my last two cycles have been long it shouldn't clash with Xmas closings.
Nelly yes, that was me. I think at this point if I had to go to the GP about an earache, I'd whip 'em off and assume the position.
at whipping your knickers off. Im a little prudish, I guess I need to get over this. My last gynae was female but at this clinc they're all male I think. I know it shouldn't matter, I'll get used to it. They also all wear tight ( and I mean tight) white jeans. It's like their uniform. I'd send you a link to the website if I wasn't afraid of outing myself.
We really could write an hilarious book about our infertility adventures from ths thread.
gin I really am so sorry, if you want a drinking partner I am around, big hugs
nelly yay to the follies
mrsdsorry AF has shown up but now its onwards and upwards as critter would say, I take you are doing LP?? glad your migraine has gone, I do have a surplus of migraine drugs that I am happy to share with you (I know I seem to offer my drugs alot on here) But it I have quite a few and it would be cheaper than buying so if you want to PM me I am more than happy to send them
I am a bit like a squirrel really
art and doll ooooh when are your testing days, are you going to wait for offical testing or POAS??
euro at your whipping knickers off and assuming the position, dignity isn't a word I associate with anymore
mellow fingers crossed for your scan
critter I hope you are having a lovely thanksgiving weekend, ummmmm yummy pumpkin pie
sar sorry you are having such a tough time, it is such a big decision and nnot one you can go back on later, I would have to agree with rabbit and madness about it hampering chances I personally would want it out, but it has to be the right decision for you, you still have time to think it over.... don't rush, I usually do a pros and cons list, it has been a tough road but my mother is a nasty toxic and dangerous person so I am better off without her, it has been rough road to get to where I am lots of tears, fears and counselling, I struggle to cope and accept peoples kindness, I am not used to it and it makes me feel uncomfortable but that is something I am working on, I just wish I had started this process years ago really, I feel so much happier in myself and I am learning so much about myself too
Well we are mid shag week, should end tomorrow, I said to Barry on Wednesday we'd have one more crack at it this week to which he put his head in his hands and groaned I said surely shagging me isn't that bad, maybe it is
Anyway I went to Create for my AHM, £105 bloody hell , I had to wait for half an hour so now accept that they work on Greek time, the nurse called me like I was some dog 'Buzzy come' I am very obedient, she was nice and reassuring, she told me due to my other results that she wasn't going to lie and tell me my AMH results will be fine, she said they would be low, but you only need 1 follie and that they have had successful pregnancies with women with AHM's under 1 and that they have had 48 years old so not to worry about my age.
When you pay after I had picked myself up off the floor they have lots of photos of their IVF babies on a board and made me smile and think one day my babys picture will be up there.........
I'm off work today, and need to get with all my life coaching homework, I'm a good two shoes and don't like to leave it till the last minute........
waves to lemon teu medussa hope are ok
Buzzy it's good you are prepared re your AMH. The only clue if had was a very slightly elevated FSH. I was therefore stunned. You sound in so much happier a place now. Like you I feel I've dealt with a few demons as a result of this shit.
I've just taken off the plaster on my arm and I look like a junkie . I've had 4 blood tests in 8 days in the same spot. I hope the bruises all heal in time for the wedding. If I get to EC (see, still can't believe it) I think I'll have to make sure they try to use hidden spots for the <boak> cannula. Although I could just blame bruises on
MrNelly my hobble
nelly my FSH,LH and E2 have been fine and Shehata wasn't worried, it wasn't until I went to Create for my MOT was the issue raised about my results being poor, but then its all about business and making money,
Evening all - well late afternoon really but it's so bloody dark that it feels like the middle of the night.....
at whipping off knickers and watching our insides on telly. Before this surgery I had to have a flexible sigmoidoscopy
twisty camera up the colon and it was ally disconcerting to be looking at that part of my anatomy on a screen!! I'm pretty relaxed about assuming the position in clinics now - I even tidy everything up before regular consultant appointments just in case
joy I'm fairly calm about the lap just now. Feels like it's been a year waiting for it to. Finally happen and I just want some answers and to feel like I'm making real progress. I know that I can't carry on failing every month and not rally understanding how severe the endo is or what it's affecting. Apparently the cysts are about 7 cm on both ovaries so sounds extensive but everyone keeps saying "but we won't really know until we get in there" so just bloody well get in there already!!!!
sar hope you're doing alright and taking care of yourself.
mrsden I don't think that tight white jeans would fill me with confidence somehow
Waves to everyone and here's to relaxing weekends with lots of for those who need it.
Have to run to dinner with my mother. Wish me luck!
Gin like mrsd im just so sad and gutted for you. I just find with this thread , weve all been chatting here for so long now, I just desperately want all this to work for everyone and see everyone on their way. I am sure Mrgin is just trying to be manly about it and youve mentioned in the past that the tears flowed over a few drinks once so im sure hes trying to be strong for you. Im appalled that FET is so expensive though. All the hard work is done and they just need to put it back. But its all the same story. Anyway