Those waiting to ttc... (slightly pointless thread)

(1000 Posts)
LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 15-Oct-12 17:58:10

We're ttc #2 in dec and I know it's a really silly thing to get excited about, but just started taking folic acid and feeling very excited about it!

Sorry for the pointless thread.

riskit4abiskit Mon 15-Oct-12 23:26:35

Am taking folic too, perhaps trying in December for the first time, but nervously undecidedy scared!

Sorry for the pointless reply!

winterpansy Tue 16-Oct-12 19:08:18

Yes! Planning to ttc DC2 starting Jan/Feb. I've lots of job issues going on at the minute which need sorted first but I'm optimistic about getting knocked up again within the next 6 months. I'm on the folic acid and have ordered ovulation test strips as my periods vary between 28 & 49 days. It's very exciting and feels lovely to be planning this with DH as DS was a complete surprise. Good luck ladies!

RugbyWidow7 Tue 16-Oct-12 20:56:13

I'm excited with you as we're planning to conceive our second for Dec/Jan, if all were to go to plan. Partly very excited, partly slightly dreading as I know what to expect. All incredible 10 months later though of course grin

crazyhead Tue 16-Oct-12 21:23:16

Plan to start ttc for our second in Feb/March, wish I could start sooner. Need to start folic soon too!

NoTwinkies Wed 17-Oct-12 08:54:48

Ooh a club for me! I was thinking of starting a thread of my own but I felt a bit silly and premature. I'm glad there are others who are excited about the future, imminent, planning to stop trying to not get pregnant :D I am having my Implant removed before the end of this year and hoping to conceive DC2 early next year. I'm hoping it won't take months for my hormones to get back to normal but I don't want to risk removing it sooner as I'd rather not get pregnant before Xmas/New Year (last chance to have a few civilised drinks --get faced--). How in advance is it recommended to take folic acid? I hadn't thought of that yet.

NoTwinkies Wed 17-Oct-12 08:56:36

* strikeout fail . Test

winterpansy Wed 17-Oct-12 14:41:40

I think it's ideally 3 months in advance of ttc that you should start folic acid.
We had been originally planning to start trying over Christmas so I started at the beginning of Oct but now it looks as thought I need to find a new job ASAP so need to be in it a few weeks before getting on the bareback wagon grin

MrsWajs Thu 18-Oct-12 02:03:54

Oooh I might join here too. Planning to start TTC no2 next month! Also v. excited but trying not to overthink it as I'm currently weaning off ADs from PND with DD.

FancyNancy77 Thu 18-Oct-12 12:34:36


I would like to join. I'm going to be TTC in feb/mar. I'm 35 next month so a bit anxious that I will have trouble.
I already have a 4 year old DD but this will be the first child for my DP and obviously our first together.

What should I be doing now to prepare. Folic Acid I know. i read lots about caffeine and alcohol.

It would be lovely to have some company in the wait until after Christmas. I'm having a Lletz to remove some irregular cells from my cervix in Dec and have been told to wait two months after that to try.

Leafmould Thu 18-Oct-12 17:24:58

Hi fancy nancy, I am hoping to start ttc after about may next year. My partner and I have tentatively decided to give ourselves a few months to get organised, save a bit, lose weight etc before hopefully ttc. We already have 2 dds, and have waited awhile now before thinking about more. I am 34, so aware that it might not be so easy this time around.

I hope the procedure goes well for you. X

Definitelysometime Thu 18-Oct-12 21:18:37

This is me too! I turn 30 in May so plan to start TTC after the boozy birthday celebrations. Currently veering between very excited and completely terrified. Both pretty silly given that it's still more than 6 months away...

Leafmould Thu 18-Oct-12 21:58:52

Hi definately.... I love your name, it really communicates the ambivalence felt when you are not entirely the other side of making the decision. . . I mean, I think it's what we both want, but who knows what our circumstances will be come may!

When would a ttc in may baby be born? February, or beyond! It seems an age away!

It s hard not to have silly feelings about it though! The prospect of PLANNING a baby is quite exciting to me.... I haven't done that before, and now when we go shopping, we mooch around the cot/ pram section and go gooey.... Omg how SOFT!!!

Leafmould Thu 18-Oct-12 22:00:49

Winter pansy... I hope the job situation improves for you. X

CunningPlan Thu 18-Oct-12 22:07:37

Another one here. We're waiting until December because we've got a big holiday coming up and pregnant then would not be good. Trying to remember to take folic acid but not doing very well.

Whyriskit Fri 19-Oct-12 06:54:25

We're planning to ttc #3 after Xmas. Both DSs were conceived first cycle but 35 now so know it might not be so easy this time. Going to start my folic acid, lose weight etc but does anyone know if I should be taking a specific vitD supplement?

winterpansy Fri 19-Oct-12 09:08:43

Thanks Leafmould! It's grim but fingers crossed it'll all work out soon. The thought of having another little squiglet next year (all being well) is keeping me strong through the work misery x

Definitelysometime Fri 19-Oct-12 12:26:16

Exactly leafmould - it's hard to get your head around. Yes it would mean a Feb baby at earliest. So hopefully getting a bit lighter / more spring-like. I've not got as far as looking at prams yet (but ooh how exciting!!) but have been thinking about diet changes and vitamins. The finances of it also worry me. I'll be on statutory mat pay only so need to start saving pronto!

Familyguyfan Fri 19-Oct-12 16:13:38

Hi all

Can I join? I'm having my Mirena coil removed at the end of next week, frolic acid is already being taken, and I'm dieting and eating healthy to be in tip top condition (well, as good as I get). Already lost 8 pounds so fingers crossed we can conceive DC2 soon!

NotYouAgain Fri 19-Oct-12 22:24:34

Is there room for me? Hoping to come off the pill at christmas and start TTC then!

Have started with the folic acid but need to start saving for ML, i'm the main breadwinner so need to have a cushion put away.

Good luck to everyone

Definitelysometime Sat 20-Oct-12 12:09:53

Hi everyone! Looks like there's a good few of us waiting to TTC! Is anyone else TTC their first? Also, how are your DHs / DPs feeling about it? My DH is a bit excited but won't talk about it really. It seems a long way off I guess, and it is. Buconclude imagining and talking about conceiving and being parents. Which I know is me getting obsessive ahead of myself! grin But I do sometimes think men lack imagination. They can only imagine it when it's actually happening!

Definitelysometime Sat 20-Oct-12 12:11:16

Er, that was 'but I love' not buconclude! Stoopid iPhone!

NotYouAgain Sat 20-Oct-12 20:00:20

Mine is my second, DD will be 1 in December and I want them fairly close in age so hopefully will have DC2 by this time next year!

NoTwinkies Sun 21-Oct-12 11:15:46

My DH is not all that keen on talking about it now either although for a long while he was more eager to have a second than I was. DH thinks I'm getting ahead of myself when I talk about baby names and he's probably right but I think it's because it took me some time to get used to the idea and now that we're ready and decided I can't cork it haha. I think DH thinks more practically. He'd rather talk about and deal with what is going on now and discuss stuff that's happening later later. I prefer to plan ahead. DD was unplanned so it will be exciting when the contraception is gone and to know we are actually trying .
Off to get some Folic Acid. I tried Pregnacare last time but the tablets were huge. I'm trying to remember where I found the small ones - possibly boots. Good Luck all smile

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sun 21-Oct-12 11:42:41

Technically we are waiting til Dec ttc but last night we dtd unprotected and according to calculations I was ovulating between thurs-sat....reeeally hope I am pg although doubtful as it was random and not planned to time with my fertile days but given me a teeny shred of hope!

winterpansy Sun 21-Oct-12 14:10:27

Definitelysometime and NoTwinkies - my DH is the same. He deals with the 'here and nows' rather than planning ahead which can be frustrating as I like to dream about the future and get everything in order. He is, however, totally 100% about going ahead with no.2. I was surprised, actually, that when I brought it up he was so easygoing about it. I expected a fight, a sulk, then a realisation it was right to plan another one wink
I've been told in no uncertain terms that it's one more only...I've always said I would like three but realise the practicalities of keeping it at two!

DS will be 19 months when we (hopefully) start TTC as I would like no more than 3 years between them.

Definitelysometime I got the sanatogen ones and they are not too big.

*LoveYouForeverMyBaby' Oooh..exciting! Good luck - fingers crossed for a BFP!

amiready Sun 21-Oct-12 17:08:17

hello everyone - I would like to join this thread. We are going to ttc after Christmas Day! I know it sounds silly but part of me wants a child who is older in the year, not the youngest. I have been waiting a looooong time though - we got married almost 4 years ago and I am in my mid 30s! But we had some career things to get out the way first. I am excited and on folic acid but part of me feels a bit scared about entering this whole new world of babies - I am not a natural maternal type and sometimes find kids quite annoying! Also am a bit of a control freak!! I think DH will be a great dad but both of us love our sleep and can easily sleep 10 hours a night! How will we do it! Came so close last night to just throwing away the condom but luckily he was more sensible than me!! It's just so weird thinking your whole life could change! Am also hoping it happens quickly - so many of my friends (almost all of them) have had troubles one way or another - it almost seems more common to have difficulties than not! Also it feels like everyone is waiting for us to announce it as most of my friends are already pregnant/mums and I know MIL is desperate for a grandchild - I'm sure they all think we are trying already.....I had a big thing about wanting to produce the first grandchild but it looks like SIL is trying now already! Oh well, it's not a race I know...

cautiouscat Sun 21-Oct-12 18:31:40

Hello everyone, can I join?
We're thinking of TTC from late January onwards - timed hopefully to fit around job changes, career and maximising maternity benefits...
DH has been great so far, since he suggested we could perhaps think about TTC, he has been very accepting of me buying pregnancy books, joining mums net and so on even though we don't have any kids yet.
amiready I know what you mean - so exciting yet scared completely especially about complications and giving birth etc!

cautiouscat Sun 21-Oct-12 18:32:54

PS I am planning to start folic acid and calcium about a month before TTC (definitely before stopping my pill), might try the likes of pregnacare but will research a bit first

SloeGinFizz Sun 21-Oct-12 18:59:00

Finally a thread I can join! I came off my pill a year ago and we're going to start trying in December. I'm hoping it'll be quick and painless!
We'll be trying for our first so I've got a lot to learn, I didn't know I was supposed to take folic acid before. Glad there are some experienced mummies on here to show me the ropes!

Good luck to you all, I don't know about you but I cannot wait!!

Part1 Sun 21-Oct-12 22:57:14

I think I have the longest wait, we will be TTC from August. I would love to try sooner but have to be practical so because of childcare issues need to wait til DS is over 3. Hopefully have a baby when he is 4 and soon to be going to school.

LondonSuperTrooper Mon 22-Oct-12 10:40:42

Hi! Can I join you too?

We are hoping to TTC around December time. Currently, we are in process of buying a house and we are putting off TTC till we have moved house. I had a miscarriage in May 2011 and I do not want to over exert myself and hence waiting till December time.

I already have a 5 year old DS smile

I will also celebrate my 39th birthday in a couple of weeks. I'm looking at the delay in TTC as a positive...... as I need to lose around 3 stones to get a healthy BMI. I'm really not expecting to lose all my excess weight but every little helps - right?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 22-Oct-12 12:55:21

Welcome to all the other waiting to ttc-ers!

Leafmould Tue 23-Oct-12 19:14:22

Hi everyone,

How exciting loveyouforevermybaby ! Hope you get a bfp.... Have to wait a week or 2 to find out?

mrswjs hope you are doing well without your medication. How old are your dc?

I am really not certain what the recommended dosage or start time is for vitamin d I think you need to take it during pregnancy, but wondering if anyone has got some definately advice on this one?

amiready (whispers) other people's kids CAN be really annoying! I think your own children tend to be much less so! (well, that's my experience, anyway!)

child spacing there are so many conflicts about this! It's hard to get it right. Those who have spotted how expensive it is to have 2 kids in child care are way ahead of where I was when mine were small! I was appalled when I realised how big the bills were. And now I see parents struggling with babies when they are trying to get their bigger kids sorted at swimming lessons etc, and think that must be quite a challenge too.... They have such different sets of needs.

I am hoping that my older dc are going to be my helpers, but I realise I may be I bit optimistic about this, because regardless how much they love littler ones, time is going to be tighter.

stickthekettleon Tue 23-Oct-12 19:43:23

Join? Oomph me please, me please!

Have two dds, 3 and I and we are going to start trying again in ten days, having both been resolute that we would (obviously) be stopping at two. I was initially dead against doing it again (and DH followed that lead) but when my younger daughter turned 1 last month I had a realisation that actually I wanted a little gang of them and I remembered that once they hit 12 months it does all to start to get a bit easier again.

Have just turned 40 though so expecting difficulties. First two were quick, got pregnant first and second cycles respectively though had a MC at 9 weeks in between them.

Am having a massive "hang on a minute we are really pushing our luck here" in terms of healthy baby stuff and that's worrying me a lot. But it remains unfinished business to stop a 2 so have to go for it.

Hope this thread will run and run so we can chart people's progress!

Good luck one and all

Gooseysgirl Tue 23-Oct-12 19:52:03

We are also going to start TTC DC2 in January... Looks like Sept/Oct could be a busy month in maternity units if lots of us get lucky on first cycles!!! We're waiting til Jan as am not keen on having summer born baby for school. DD is only 7 mths so if we conceive straight away it will be a small gap but as I'm 37, don't want to leave it any longer. Feel v lucky to have got pregnant on 2nd cycle with DD, hoping we'll be as lucky this time!

winterpansy Tue 23-Oct-12 19:54:13

Hello to all the new ladies on the thread!

How is everyone doing? I seem to becoming more and more obssessed with TTC since I started MNing again over the past few weeks after a break for a while.
With all the work shite going on I've been just picturing next Christmas (2013) and hoping there will be another tiny person in my family!

How is the wait going for you all?

Definitelysometime Tue 23-Oct-12 20:01:42

Oh amiready you sound just like me. I'm not massively 'into' kids and love, love, love my sleep so just not sure I'm up to the job! But hoping, like leaf says, that it's totally different when they're your own! But still, SCARY!

Still, 8 months to go till we start TTC so plenty of time to get used to the idea!

TigerseyeMum Tue 23-Oct-12 20:09:05

Glad I found this thread, we plan to resume ttc in January after a 6 month break, tried unsuccessfully for 2 years prior.

I also will be 39 at the start of November and find other peoples kids annoying (shhhhhh) but my OH loves kids and I am hoping kids of your own are a different matter....

I am just starting with the folic acid again.

Good luck ladies!

winterpansy Tue 23-Oct-12 20:43:10

I was a wee bit like that with other people's kids but now I have my own DS it is totally different. Being a parent is absolutely amazing! Hard work and tiring but an incredible priviledge and pleasure. Makes my heart want to burst when I think about it (and I REALLY did not used to be a soppy person before having a LO!). In fact, it's testament to how fabulous my son is that I want another!

amiready Tue 23-Oct-12 20:55:08

oh that's really encouraging. Yes, I'm sure it must be different with your own because you know what your own particular boundaries are re discipline and fun etc. With my nephews and nieces you do feel a bit like you have to be 'on show' because I don't see them very often - even though I love them loads it can all be quite exhausting! I just can't believe that we will be trying for a baby really really soon! An actual real live baby!! I haven't really let myself think about it until now! Bit worried will be horrendously sick and my job is 12 hour days - v busy - going to be hard if there are any physical difficulties!! Still happily taking the folic acid! Hope it happens really really quick!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 23-Oct-12 22:42:19

Please can I squeeze onto this thread? (I'm also on the other preparing to ttc one) We plan to properly resume ttc in December but aren't being 100% careful while we wait.

London I am sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I can see why you want to minimise your stress and wait until after the house move. I lost a pregnancy in April and, much as I long for another BFP, I think I will be a nervous wreck if I am lucky enough to fall pregnant again.

I also have a five year old (DD), a November birthday approaching (36) and carry a bit of extra weight. Definitely going for an every little helps approach to losing it.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 24-Oct-12 09:16:28

Looks like I miscalculated, don't think I was ovulating last week when we dtd unprotected, looks like I am ov now ( have cramps and checked online calculator)...will have to be patient and wait another 2 months until all the excitement and fun of ttc can officially start - boo!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 24-Oct-12 14:02:29

LoveYouForever is there any reason you have to wait until December? Could you just go for it next month?

I thought I was ovulating Sunday/Monday as I had heaps of EWCM but now wonder if I jumped the gun because I seem to have even more now and tingly boobs. I find sometimes the more I listen to my body the more confused I get!

I get the impression that charting is really the best way of getting an understanding of your cycle but I don't think I could be disciplined enough to take my temperature each morning. I find it hard enough to remember to take my folic acid. Plus DD tends to wander into our room each morning to wake me up and I think she would wonder what on earth I was doing.

I think once the time comes DP and I are just going to have to DTD an awful lot. (I have to confess I have been eyeing up the clear blue fertility monitors though...even thought about asking for one for Christmas!)

NoTwinkies Wed 24-Oct-12 16:13:57

I think we're going to take the same approach Bridget - my DH will be pleased grin I want us to be as relaxed as possible about it although I'm pretty sure I'm going to freak out if/when we get a BFP. Despite our DD being totally unplanned we were really chilled about finding out I was pregnant - but this time I know what to expect.. not looking forward to morning sickness at all. I'm hoping that I can keep it at bay and start drinking Peppermint tea with my morning Folic acid before we even start trying! I also like my sleep but luckily the newborn-waking-every-2-hours-or-more stage doesn't last long.
I had a minor wobble about potentially having a winter baby as we've all been suffering coughs and colds this week.. my DD will be at pre-school so no way to avoid the bugs.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 24-Oct-12 16:59:24

NoTwinkies, the joys of morning sickness! I was rarely actually sick but felt like I was on the brink of throwing up morning, noon and night for about 12 weeks with DD. Funny thing is I think it has permanently changed me, pre DD I was never sick, now it takes barely anything to make me gag.

With my unsuccessful pregnancy I felt fantastic (weirdly full of energy) so if I get another BFP, I hope to feel completely and utterly wretched again.

It made me smile that you had a wobble about a winter baby - I'm the exact opposite. My daydreams are full of newborns in cosy snowsuits on crisp winter mornings or being cuddled in front of Christmas trees. I worry about summer babies overheating and not being ready for school at just turned 4. (Probably biased as DD was a Christmas baby)

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 24-Oct-12 17:09:59

bridget I would love to start ttc next month but oh wanted to wait until jan as he doesn't want me to worry about not drinking or avoiding certain foods over the Xmas period, and for us to go out for a few dinners during that time etc. I managed to convince him to push it forward to dec as I ovulate late in the month (that was my argument anyway!) so thinking another month might be a step too far(!)

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 24-Oct-12 18:03:24

LoveYouForever, aaah, yes, probably best not to push things - definitely need the oh up for it too. I can see the attraction of lots of stress-free enjoyment of good food and good wine over the Christmas period. In fact, the more I think about it, the more perfect it sounds - lots of merriment and sophisticated dinners out, then down to the nitty-gritty of ttc, healthy eating etc.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 24-Oct-12 18:59:29

I can see his point esp as we fell pg on the 1st go with dc #1...hope we're as lucky second time round! What about you bridget why are you waiting to ttc?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 24-Oct-12 21:46:28

Aaah, it's a bit of a long story really...

I had DD way back in 2006 and DP and I always said we only wanted one child. A year or so later I've changed my mind and would love another, but DP is still absolutely insistent he doesn't. As you can imagine, plenty of tears, heartache, and discussions that go around in circles follow.

Fast forward to Autumn 2011 and we've reached a point where we really need to make a final decision over whether or not to have a second child. I've hit 35, DD is in school and, having been a SAHM since DD arrived, I need to make some long-term career decisions if there isn't going to be a DC2.

Around Christmas 2011, sort of out of the blue, DP starts getting careless over using contraception. I daren't even mention it because I can't believe he might have changed his mind. This carries on for a couple of months and I fall pregnant in March 2012. Unfortunately I miscarry at 7 weeks and we are both devastated. The one good thing to come out of the miscarriage is that I feel more confident DP really does want another child and is not just doing it for me.

We have been casually trying since June but it's becoming clear a more determined approach is going to be needed. Now I just want to take a break until after Christmas because I don't want my birthday, and DD's, and Christmas overshadowed by ttc anxieties (the 2 week wait can turn me into a symptom spotting lunatic if I'm not careful). Another reason, is that my due date would have been early December too and I feel once this has passed I can really embrace trying to conceive again.

I have booked a tetanus booster for November so there is definitely no trying until after Christmas now!

(sorry for the essay! Bet you wish you hadn't asked..)

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 24-Oct-12 22:42:58

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage but am so pleased for you that you'll be ttc again and that your dp is on board with it. Good luck with ttc again...i tun into a symptom watching freak too(!) maybe we can be ttc buddies?

MrsWajs Thu 25-Oct-12 03:56:37

Thanks leafmould it seems to be going ok at the moment but I am still on one tablet every other day, have only had one wobble so far when I've felt a bit of my old anxiety creeping back in but I got over it and DP is being very supportive.

I was a complete nightmare when I stopped my pill last time I was TTC so I am fully expecting that again and trying to pre-empt it a bit this time if that makes sense?

DP and I have a DD who is 18mo today! And he has a DS from a previous relationship who is 5 in January. Would have liked a slightly smaller gap between DD and next DC but think we might have left it a bit late (DP's inability to make his mind up) so will just have to go with it and see what happens. Took me a year to conceive last time and even that was a fluke so I'm not going to be too optimistic!

Sorry to hear of all those who've miscarried recently.

Ooh could we have a list? I like to have something to refer to so I know who's doing what! I'm useless otherwise, baby brain has ruined my memory!!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 25-Oct-12 08:20:39

Happy 18 months today to little MissWajs! A list sounds an excellent idea - already so hard to keep track of everyone.

Would love to be ttc buddies LoveYouForever It would be nice if everyone starting/resuming ttc in December could perhaps form a new thread when the time comes.

winterpansy Thu 25-Oct-12 10:04:52

I have to say I'm loving this thread! Makes the (difficult!) wait more bearable and less lonely. We should have a list and hopefully during the course of the next 6 months or so we can see many BFPs!

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Thu 25-Oct-12 10:15:47

Can I join too?
I'm feeling a bit pessimistic about it all really. I've had 7 pregnancies and only one live child. We've had a break for 18 months which has been really good for us.
Hoping to start to TTC in Feb, undergone all the tests, they cant find anything wrong. Just started herbal medicine and Homeopathy after realising the medical profession probably cant help me any further.
I know I should be excited about TTC but can't help but dread the thought of another miscarriage..

winterpansy Thu 25-Oct-12 10:29:39

Hi TheAccidentalExhibitionist sorry to hear about your losses. You've been through a dreadful time sad
We'll all help you through TTC and fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy.
What age is your DC?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 25-Oct-12 11:08:02

accidental so sorry to hear about your past miscarriages, fingers crossed for you everything goes well when you do ttc again.

I think starting another thread in Dec would be a great idea bridget

Hopefully next year we can all post of our bfps :-)

LondonSuperTrooper Thu 25-Oct-12 11:18:30

Yes please count me in for the TTC December thread

accidental my heart breaks for you. I can't imagine how you must feel. Keep strong and good luck with TTC in Feb.

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Thu 25-Oct-12 11:29:45

Thanks Winterpansy, LoveYouForeverMyBaby and LondonSuperTrooper. My son is 9.
I'm normally a very positive, cheerful person, as is my DH but we're going into this with our eyes wide open and prepared for further losses.

LondonSuperTrooper Thu 25-Oct-12 13:47:56

accidental Sounds sensible in theory... but it's hard in practice!

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks 1.5 years ago and it's only now that I am strong enough to think about TTC.

When did you miscarry? Did it happen at the same stage of pregnancy?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 25-Oct-12 14:07:36

Accidental I'm so sorry to hear of your losses - words just seem so inadequate. Life can be crap! sad

And I completely take my hat off to you (and your DP) for having the courage to get back on the ttc roller-coaster. I can't even imagine the guts it must take to steel yourself to try again. I think even the most positive person in the world would struggle.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 25-Oct-12 17:47:46

Hi London I really hope you don't mind me discussing it (please just say if it's too personal) but I find your comment about it only being now (i.e. 1.5 years later) that you feel ready to think about ttc really interesting.

After my miscarriage (at 7 weeks), I searched about online to try to find out about other women's experiences. One thing that struck me was how many women seem to have a burning need to get pregnant again as soon as possible (particularly by what would have been their due date). I can totally understand this and I suppose I've been feeling a bit of freak for not feeling the same way.

I don't know if it's fear of the same thing happening again, or some strange misplaced sense of loyalty to the pregnancy that was lost, but I just haven't been able to throw myself into ttc over the past months. I can't really explain it, I so want another child (and would be delighted with a BFP) but the thought of coping with the early particularly risky weeks of pregnancy just feels like an ordeal looming ahead.

I don't think my DP really 'gets' it and is surprised that after all this time waiting for him to come round to the idea of a second child I haven't been more enthusiastic about trying again.

Part of me just feels really silly - that it was only 7 weeks (I hadn't even missed two periods for goodness sake) - and that I've been foolish letting precious cycles slip by without properly trying. I feel like it must mean other women want a child more than me.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 25-Oct-12 18:59:55

bridget please dont feel silly, I had a miscarriage at around 6/7 weeks too. You're doing whats right for you, but as hard as this seems try not to stress too much about the early weeks of pg...i got pg again a year later stressed the whole way through and had a healthy low risk uneventful pg, labour and baby. Hugs to you.

Leafmould Thu 25-Oct-12 19:13:41

loveyouforever ttc #2 in December
riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
winterpansy ttc #2 jan/feb
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
notwinkies ttc#2 jan
mrs wajs ttc#2 November
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
cunningplan December
whyriskit ttc#3 after Xmas
familyguyfab ttc#2 soon
notyouagain ttc#2 after Xmas
amiready ttc#1 after Xmas
cautious cat Late January
sloeginfizz December
part1 ttc#2 August
london supertrooper age 38 ttc#2 December
stickthekettleon age 40 ttc#3 next week!
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
bridget&hb age 35 ttc#2 December
accidental exhibitionist ytc#2 February

I truly hope I have not made any errors here, or misrepresented anyone....please correct if I've mixed you up!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 25-Oct-12 19:43:25

Thank you Leafmould - would have taken me ages!

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Thu 25-Oct-12 20:26:50

London, all MMC at between 9-11 weeks.
I'll be 40 in April so I suppose time is now against us a bit too.

My first MC was the worst, I think it's the shock. I would say it took me about 18 months to get over it too, so I understand how you felt. Sometimes it's just easier to stop thinking about it for a while and have some normal life.

Interestingly, despite not believing in Homeopathy, its definitely having an effect. I feel a bit on an emotional roller coaster which isn't usual for me. I am excited about the thought of a BFP though!

Leafmould Thu 25-Oct-12 20:36:07

Accidental exhibitionist, I'm so sorry for the tough time you have had, and wish you good luck for a bfp. I'm glad you feel positively already about the homeopathy. I have had fantastic results in my kids with homeopathy for eczema, asthma and constipation, and similarly it was when conventional medicine had nothing left to give. smile

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 25-Oct-12 21:33:21

Hello, me again. I've just been on the conception section of mumsnet and had a look at all the pre-conception health check info and it's got me wondering if anyone is planning to get those tests done? Is that the norm or excessive?

I went to see my doctor recently and told her that we are going to ttc in December and she really only mentioned folic acid. I asked about checking my rubella immunity but she said that it should be fine as it was checked in my first pregnancy. I asked about toxoplasmosis testing but she was very against it. I didn't have my blood pressure checked or anything else.

I also have a mild/moderate uterine prolapse and she seemed surprised when I mentioned being concerned about it.

Do you think my doctor was being a bit rubbish or bog standard?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 25-Oct-12 21:39:18

P.s. LoveYouForever thanks for the hug and sorry for your loss too. Encouraging to hear of your uneventful pregnancy post-miscarriage.

Leafmould Thu 25-Oct-12 22:39:34

Hi Bridget, there's so many ways to respond to the things life chucks at us. I think it's important that we do not feel our responses are invalid, just because they are not typical. Which is a very long way of saying I'm really sorry for your loss!

I'm off to look at these conception health checks now, and I will let you know what my doctor offers when I eventually get round to asking her! (currently still on pill!)

Leafmould Thu 25-Oct-12 22:46:10

Wow that is a very long list!

I think I need to check the date of my last smear... Is it every 3 or 5 years?

MrsWajs Fri 26-Oct-12 03:47:38

Thanks for the birthday wishes for MissWajs Bridget smile And I reckon your Dr was pretty bog standard to be honest but then again we may both just have shit GPs!?

And thank you for the list Leafmould that would also have taken me ages!! Smears since you ask are every 3 years as far as I'm aware.

I haven't checked the pre-conception health checks and I don't think I will, I just took folic acid last time and that was fine! <throws caution to the wind>

Accidental I'm so so sorry to hear of your losses. I have a work colleague who has been in a similar situation to you but she has no children. She's had 5 or 6 miscarriages that I'm aware of although one was technically a still birth at 36 weeks sad and yet she still keeps on smiling through it all. She's currently 10 weeks pregnant and I really hope that it is going to work out for her this time. You and your OH are amazing for giving this another go smile

LondonSuperTrooper Fri 26-Oct-12 09:14:05

Bridget My miscarriage left me in tatters. I was an emotional wreck and became depressed. Having had two scans I knew that there was no baby and that I had to go home and wait for nature to take it's course. I had a 1-1.5 weeks wait till the pains actually started and for the miscarriage to occur IYSWIM.
I then had to wait for almost two and half months for my periods to start again. Emotionally this took its toll on me. TTC at that time didn't even enter in the equation - I was not emotionally ready and I was grieving for the lost baby. I actually marked its due date - how sad is that?!
Like Leaf said, we all deal with it differently. What made it more painful is that it took me almost a year to fall pregnant only to miscarry the baby 9 weeks later sad

accidental I think that you are very brave and I take my hat off to you for getting on the bandwagon of this merry-go-round and giving it another go.

Leaf thanks for compiling the list.

Got to go - will be back at lunchtime.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 26-Oct-12 10:07:11

Good Morning London, I don't think that marking the due date is sad at all. I haven't decided what I want to do to mark mine, but have a few plans. Even if I just go for a swim and a nice lunch, I don't want it to be just another day.

I'm so glad that you now feel strong enough to try again, the limbo time waiting for it all to happen must have been torture.

I hope all the house move stuff is going well. Are you moving areas or just house? Will it mean much upheaval for your DS?

It isn't necessarily what I would have planned, but I'm now really excited about a lovely big age gap. I think having seen DD go through all the weaning, potty training, toddler tantrums, starting school etc will give me a different (hopefully more relaxed) approach to the baby and toddler years. I think DD is at an age where a new baby in the family would be hers as well as mine and DP's (if that makes any sense?)

Bit of a random question but does anyone else on the thread have a dog?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Fri 26-Oct-12 11:32:52

I have a cat.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 26-Oct-12 12:05:48

Hee, Hee, don't know why but that last post really made me giggle!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 26-Oct-12 12:13:45

Was hoping there might be someone else to share tales of juggling pregnancy and dog ownership with! Jumping the gun a bit I know, but I am not looking forward to picking up poo with raging morning sickness or trying to wash muddy BridgetDog with a great big bump.

Got completely soaked this morning - ahhh, the joys of having a mutt! She had a whale of a time though.

LondonSuperTrooper Fri 26-Oct-12 13:42:29

Thanks Bridget smile We are moving house about 2 miles away from where we currently live, so staying in the same area. Hopefully my DS won't be affected too much as he will carry on going to the same school.

It's interesting that you've mentioned the age gap. Initially I was very negative about the large age gap between my DS (he's 5) and the would be baby. Now I am embracing it and looking at the positives. It would be nice to have the time with the baby while DS is at school. I am also hoping that DS can help me out a little too grin

I treasure my time with DS and I think it's lucky that he had me all to himself for 5 years without fighting for attention like some of other children that I know with younger siblings.

And we do not have any pets at all. And eeewww at picking up dog poo whilst having morning sickness ...... that will make sick all over again!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 26-Oct-12 16:20:49

I'm hoping I can get Mini Bridget to help me out a lot little too grin

Yes, I really appreciate the time I've had one on one with DD as well. We're definitely motivated to ttc because DP and I would love another child and not because we don't want an only child (if that makes sense!)

winterpansy Fri 26-Oct-12 20:54:35

leaf thanks for doing the list.
It's very exciting! I really feel for all you ladies who have had a loss/multiple losses. I can't imagine how hard it has been but well done on thinking about ttc again - that takes a strong person indeed. I have my fingers crossed for a 100% sucess rate for us all x

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sat 27-Oct-12 09:51:46

Good morning everyone, I hope you all have a lovely weekends planned. So cold here today, DP has even put the heating on (it's usually me sneaking it on behind his back!)

Last night DP and I took DD to a local bonfire/firework display. Bless her, it was very small scale indeed but she thought it was amazing. She didn't even complain about having cold toes. I couldn't help but get all sentimental and imagine having a bump or a tiny little one with us next autumn. I really need to get a grip - so, blinkin' broody at the moment (got that empty arms feeling that I felt way back when we conceived Mini Bridget)

Winterpansy I'll join you and crossed my fingers that this is a lucky thread for all of us.

flowersfortea Sat 27-Oct-12 17:03:41

Hi girls, had to change usernames (cautious cat here) due to technical issues! bridget I know what you mean about being super broody, just been watching DH's match imagining what it might be like with a bump or baby next season!

On a more positive note, we have decided not to start the next pill packet rather than wait till the new year so fingers crossed! Trying to imagine all the best parts of hopefully aBFP soon and hoping my body doesn't go mad after being on the pill for 4 years straight...

TigerseyeMum Sat 27-Oct-12 17:22:09

Loopy lurcher owner here. I was also wondering about pregnancy and mad dog ownership!

Just coming to the end of a pill packet. So tempted to just go for it but if a miracle happened the timing would be horrendous!!!!


BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sat 27-Oct-12 21:20:56

Yay flowersfortea that's fab news. Are you now officially the first on the thread to move from 'waiting to ttc' to actually ttc? It feels like you deserve a certificate or badge or something! Are you thinking of joining one of the buses? Or will you hang out here for a while?

I've read a few times that you can be especially fertile when you first come off the pill - I think it's a sort of hormonal rebound effect - so I hope your body does go mad, but in a good way. I have a vague feeling I've even heard of women going back on the pill for a period of time in order to be able to come off it and benefit from the fertility boost that sometimes occurs.

Yippee - another dog owner - how old is your loopy lurcher Tigerseye? We have a lively spaniel cross. She nearly 2 and is pretty good really (apart from her recall) but needs plenty of exercise. This is fine at the moment as I have plenty of time to stomp across the countryside with her, but can see it being a challenge with a baby/toddler in tow. I keep tellin myself that loads of people have dogs and babies so it must be do-able.

batfish Sun 28-Oct-12 05:28:51

We have decided to start ttc in March - we live abroad and my sister in law gets married at the end of September - airlines ask for a dr's note after 28 weeks so just in case (although I know extremely extremely unlikely) it happens straight away for us we want to make sure there won't be any issues with getting back home for the wedding.

So I have 2 more pill packets left which takes me until the end of December - I plan to stop taking the pill then to start getting it out of my system (I have been on it for 15 years) and start with folic acid and then take other precautions until mid to end of march.

Kind of excited but also kind of scared - we don't particularly feel ready for parenthood but I doubt we ever will and we are both 31 so set ourselves this deadline! And I know that when it does happen we will be very excited.

I expect it will take a while though, I have 2 friends who are ttc, one of them has been trying since Christmas and the other since April so I really hope it happens for them soon - they have made me realise that it isn't an easy business!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 28-Oct-12 08:32:57

Good morning Batfish, welcome to the ttc waiting room, pull up a chair, grab a plump cushion, and make yourself comfy until March. It's probably a bit early in the morning to offer you some Halloween treats, so I'll pass you some toast and cereal smile

I think it is great that you are approaching ttc with your eyes open, but don't get too gloomy about it - lots of people conceive relatively quickly too.

On a me, me, me, note - just been checking my period tracker - only approx six weeks left to SWI (getting very excited). Joked to DP last night that I'm expecting him to have lots of quality sperm at the ready. Backfired as he thought I was coming on to him!! (nothing could be further from the truth - hadn't had a bath all day and absolutely knackered)

jaffacakehips Sun 28-Oct-12 10:41:40

<sticks head in, looks about. mmm they seem alright grin>

Can I join too, pretty please? <thinks about offering jaffa cakes>

So after a large amounts of BFN, we are waiting till Dec / Jan to get on with this baby making. I was able to 'talk' DH into a few more extra months of DTD but with no luck. We already have 1DD (20 months)

I've joined a gym and have been working hard at losing my jaffacakehips, i want to be fit and healthy to run about after DD and be pregnant again. Will try and cut back on the wine hmm Should I start taking frolic acid now?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 28-Oct-12 12:02:49

Yippee, you've found us jaffacake - come in, settle down and start being slightly pointless <sneakily pinches a few jaffa cakes and stuffs them down my bra>

Well done on all the gym work, you'll soon need a name change (lettuce-legs? humous-hips? Celery-calves?) and well done Winterpansy for sending her this way.

I'd get on the frolic acid now, no harm taking it sooner rather than later. I'm so rubbish at remembering to take it I've still not finished a bottle I started months ago!

<oh no, serves me right, the jaffa cakes have made a right mess!>

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 28-Oct-12 12:12:55

Oh, just a thought, could someone really techie, add batfish and jaffacake to the thread list? Happy to have a go but likely to balls it up. Tried my first ever mumsnet strikeout this morning...and failed...

Hi can I join in smile - Im New to mumsnet
We already have one DS who is 20 months we are hoping to start TTC late dec/jan
I had the implant removed yesterday exciting and still weaning off some anti depressants for anxiety, only on 10mg Citalopram now going back to dic's tomorrow for advice on coming off completely.

Been trying to eat a bit healthier and cut down on caffeine for the past month and going to buy some folio acid too.

Me and DH are both quite excited and eager to start TTC is it a bit sad that we're already nesting? X

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 28-Oct-12 15:09:55

Hi Cara welcome to this thread and welcome to mumsnet. Nesting doesn't sound sad to me! Was having the implant out ok?

Being a newbie, I'm just wondering if you have used your real name as your username? If so, you may want to think about changing it to something that makes you less identifiable in real life. Could be a bit embarrassing if people you know read about when you've done the deed (DTD) with your husband or how much cervical mucus you have!!!

(so sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick, or sound bossy, but would hate for you to accidentally reveal personal information to the world)

caramal Sun 28-Oct-12 18:01:33

Thanks BridgetandtheHairyBrigands changed my name from Cara.
having the implant was ok, hurt a little and my arms a bit bruised today.
waiting for AF now...hoping it goes back to being 'normal' very quickly x

flowersfortea Sun 28-Oct-12 18:22:28

Hi Cara, welcome. Cutting down on caffeine is a good point - any ideas? I'm thinking of trying de-caf tea because I tend to go through fads with herbals... does anyone know if it tastes the same?

Definitelysometime Sun 28-Oct-12 18:22:31

Ooh hello - quite a group forming in here!! Lovely. <pulls up a pew and opens a bottle of wine. Anyone else for claret?>

Have been offline a while and just making the most of the early dark evening by snuggling down and catching up on all the messages.

Congratulations flowers on officially starting TTC, that's fantastic! Hopefully you'll go straight into regular cycles and your hormone peak will see you pg straight away! Please make sure you stay here and tell us about it.

How's everyone else getting on? DH and I had dinner with friends last night and got there early to see their 3mo baby and I helped with bathtime. He's the smiliest, happiest wee bundle ever - my ovaries actually hurt!

Definitelysometime Sun 28-Oct-12 18:29:30

flowers and cara I really need to kick my coffee addiction habit too. I do like ginger tea but don't think I could give up the caffeine altogether. Does anyone know how much caffeine tea and green tea have? How much can you have per day when TTC / pregnant?

caramal Sun 28-Oct-12 18:34:12

hi flowersfortea going to try cutting down first along with de-caf tea/coffee.
when i found out i was pregnant first time round i just stopped drinking any caffeien for the first 3 months which wasnt good major withdrawal symptoms i was working a crazy amount of hours at work..12 hour night shifts at the time too so i was having heaps of caffeine to stay awake

Leafmould Sun 28-Oct-12 18:34:30

loveyouforever ttc #2 in December
riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
winterpansy ttc #2 jan/feb
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
notwinkies ttc#2 jan
mrs wajs ttc#2 November
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
cunningplan December
whyriskit ttc#3 after Xmas
*familyguyfab *ttc#2 soon
notyouagain ttc#2 after Xmas
amiready ttc#1 after Xmas
flowers for tea sooner than she thought!
sloeginfizz December
part1 ttc#2 August
london supertrooper age 38 ttc#2 December
stickthekettleon age 40 ttc#3 next week!
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
bridget&hb age 35 ttc#2 December
accidental exhibitionist ttc#2 February
batfish ttc#1 march
jaffacakehips ttc#2 dec/jan
caramal ttc#2 late dec/ jan

Once again, just say if I've got you wrong!

Leafmould Sun 28-Oct-12 18:34:51

Sorry family guy fan!

flowersfortea Sun 28-Oct-12 18:42:08

I found one website saying up to 6 cups a day is ok - but I'm a big mug of strong tea addict so perhaps will aim for 2-3 mugs a day... This will be a big change! In past have had proper withdrawal symptoms from tea....

Leafmould Sun 28-Oct-12 18:51:31

Hi everyone. I think tea is pretty much guilt free: unless it's all you drink.

The caffeine content of coffee is loads higher than tea...sorry not offering any actual statistics or links about this!

Cara: hope weaning off the medication goes well. Welcome to the site. . I'm sure you will find loads of useful stuff on here, and if you are like me, will soon start losing hours from your day!grin

I was true to my name today and swept up all the leaves in our garden. . . live on a leafy street [boasts] . . . Although half the trees are gone sad so annual job.

Half term! Hurray!

Love it when the kids are off school smile . Wish I was off work too sad

This must be my smiliest post ever. I have realised that you need to leave spaces if you want effects. So family guy fan, on the list, is not in bold because I left a space after her name an before her *. Also, if I had put familyguyfanttc (with no space) I think it would not be bold. It's the same for strikeout, Bridget.
wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink

Leafmould Sun 28-Oct-12 18:52:17

Right, I got that wrong! I thought I had got it but obviously not confused

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 28-Oct-12 21:08:04

Does anyone know if Maltesers and Haribo consumption boosts fertility? If it does, I'm going to be popping out triplets next Autumn grin

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 28-Oct-12 21:21:29

Thanks Leaf for the updated list - hope your girls have a lovely half-term. This mumsnet smiley, emphasis stuff is blinking complicated!

Definitelysometime your image of a happy, splashy 3 month old made me smile. Are you sure your ovaries are going to let you wait until May?

If you'd been around at bath time when my DD was that age, your ears would have been hurting not your ovaries. She used to scream the house down (no lovely warm bath forming part of a gentle bedtime routine in the Bridget household!)

MrsSpencerReid Sun 28-Oct-12 21:47:13

Hello, room for a little one smile we are ttc %232 as soon as the obs consultant says we can!! Am hoping to see him before Christmas so I guess we will start jangringrin my DS is only 6m so I think I may be a little crazy!! I have started colic acid, anything else I need to do? (other than read the whole thread)

MrsSpencerReid Sun 28-Oct-12 21:47:51

Ttc number 2 not the stupid number my phone putconfused

Definitelysometime Sun 28-Oct-12 22:07:30

God Bridget I just don't know if I am! May feels so far away and I'm an awful long way down that Waiting to TTC list we have going on...

But yes, the crying does need to be taken into account. And, since we live in a flat, I'm rather in denial about that at the moment!

Are you guys planning to TTC according to your heads (right time of year, right house and financial situ etc) or by your ovaries hearts?

tothemoon Mon 29-Oct-12 01:21:19

Another one thinking about ttc here smile DH working abroad atm but I'm now on folic acid so hoping to start in Jan!! Today I had my first ovulation pains after 8 years on the pill. Brought a tear to my eye haha!
Definitelytsometime We're planning tcc as we are now luckily financially perfect, although renting a ground floor flat (gonna get my own back on the neighbours upstairs, they have a 3 year old and wooden flooring). Only 4 opportunities a year for us though as DH works abroad which is poop. Had hoped to have our house but I suddenly just feel "ready" so we are going for it!!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 29-Oct-12 07:44:21

Hello MrsSpencer - welcome to the waiting room. I hope you get the green light from your consultant and can get on with ttc in the New Year. I don't think you are crazy, well, maybe just a little! Seriously though, it's horses for courses in this world, so if you are ready go for it.

I hope the 'colic' acid was just an innocent typo and your DS doesn't suffer.

Welcome tothemoon - how frustrating to only get four opportunities a year. Do you think you could do some extra trips out to see him to boost your chances? Hee, hee, hope those neighbours are wearing earplugs before too long grin

Definitely it's a combo of heart and head here (mainly heart). I'm a SAHM so another little one isn't going to impact on income (although outgoings will obviously take a hit) but even longer out of the job market is going to sink any chances of ever reviving my old career.

TigerseyeMum Mon 29-Oct-12 07:59:32

Bridget our loopy lurcher is 5 and good as gold apart from recall as he is an ex-hunter. If it moves, he's on it! He'd love your spaniel, any fast-moving target, sorry, object, is the best thing ever!

No idea how I could be pregnant and chasing him across fields though...

I have to start the new pill packet today. I was on it without breaks for 15 years + to control endo and when I came off it 2 years ago I ovulated straight away. The endo came back over time so I went back on it for 6 months partly because of my wedding but also as you say it can surge your fertility immediately you come off. I may stop at the end of this month as we are away before Xmas and maybe the romance and relaxation will take effect....

I am never ever gaga for babies but went to a party yesterday and a very cute toddler was there and I'm sure my uterus did a backflip!

jaffacakehips Mon 29-Oct-12 08:58:44

Morning all <rubs eyes> DD didn't get the memo about the clocks going back, very busy, long weekend. Thank god for nursery grin

Cute babies are one thing, its when you see the tiny tiny new born babies that my uterus goes PING PING PING. I love all those lovely cuddles, I'm lucky if I get 2 mins these days. Yesterday I tried for cuddle and got, No Mummy (wriggles away to) Daddy! I know my place in our house hmm

Is anyone of the booze or at least cutting back on drinking?

winterpansy Mon 29-Oct-12 10:39:21

Good morning! I know the feeling jaffacakehips DS was up at 5.00am yesterday and today. It's going to be a longgg day. I'm in work now but DH is looking after him today so he will get a wee nap. When I think about possibly having a newborn as well this time next year I probably naively think 'well, I couldn't be more tired than I already am so it won't be too bad'!

Yes, I'm cutting down the booze quite a bit. In fact I haven't had a drink in a month and will probably only have 1 night out over Christmas. DH and I have booked to go away to a lovely hotel for a night on our own over Christmas so I'm sort of seeing that as my last night drinking for quite some time. It's not too much of a problem as I am not much of a drinker these days anyway. Can't bear the hangovers!

TigerseyeMum Mon 29-Oct-12 11:38:06

Ooh I'd forgotten about the not drinking...not sure about that! I gave up last time but I don't know that it makes all that much difference.

peeohayess Mon 29-Oct-12 11:51:38

Hello...please may I sit and lurk in the corner? Not actively TTC as DS is only 8 months but I'm on the 2WW (oops) and having some people to talk to would be nice as I can't talk about it in RL! I'm not sure how I feel about it and hope it's not thoughtless to say so in light of people's experiences.

jaffacakehips Mon 29-Oct-12 15:38:57

winter Ohhh a weekend away, saucy devil wink Wish DH and I could have a weekend away. A much as I love DD sometimes it would be just wonderful if we could be woken on Saturday morning without her going 'MUMMY'

Pee it's a tough one, but ultimately your choice. Hard work for a few years, for sure. But it's going to be tough whenever you do it. Do you have a good support system at home, family etc.
ps: no lurking in corners smile

Familyguyfan Mon 29-Oct-12 15:49:29

I like Familyguyfab!! A little news for us. Mirena is removed! I spoke to the nurse who said no need to wait ttc, just 'enjoy yourselves', so we are. Well, when we're not too tired. So excited.

Good luck everyone!!!!!!

peeohayess Mon 29-Oct-12 17:30:51

Thanks jaffacake. YY support is fine - thanks for asking. I don't think there's much of a chance that we have conceived this time but it's hard not to hope!

Good luck to everyone...and if it comes to nothing this time with any luck we will be going for it properly in about 6 months' time...

tothemoon Mon 29-Oct-12 20:06:25

Bridget Lots of extra trips strategically planned ;)

My FB feed is full of baby scans and cute newborn pics, never used to take much notice before but now I'm like "Awwww I want one" haha. Fingers crossed for December smile

mumAAAaaaaaaah Mon 29-Oct-12 20:31:39

Hello, is there room for one more to squeeze in please? We will, fingers crossed, be TTC baby no.2 from mid December. I would love to get started with trying now but we get married 1st of Dec and there is NO room in my dress wink nor in the budget for pregnancy just yet (I think DF needs 9months to calm down from cost of wedding before cost of baby no.2!) I thought a slight mishap may have taken the wait away from us but POAS and it was a BFN... So now the wait feels even longer...

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 29-Oct-12 22:06:59

Evening TigerseyeMum, Bridget dog absolutely loves squirrels, rabbits and pheasants. As soon as any of these are spotted, the red mist comes down and she's off! I could be smeared head to toe in liver paste and she still wouldn't notice me.

I know what you mean about cute toddlers - they should definitely come with some sort of health warning. I think it was spending time with a seriously adorable two year old over Christmas 2005 that eventually led to Mini Bridget's conception. I am pretty soppy over babies now, but never used to be. I didn't want to hold one that was brought to my antenatal class and got horrified looks from the six other heavily pregnant women there.

Oh, just like jaffacake, I'm turning green at the Christmas breaks winterpansy and Tigerseye are having envy

Great news Familyguy - yippee, another one off the bench and onto the playing field alongside flowers. I think I would have gone bright red if a nurse had said that to me though.

Hello to peeohayess and MumAAA, I'm sure we can all shuffle up and make room. Many congratulations on the forthcoming wedding MumAAA, I hope all the preparations are going smoothly and you don't feel too glum about the BFN (always gutting when only one line appears and you're hoping for two - even if you thought it was unlikely)

Gosh, the thread list is going to need some more updating..

MrsWajs Mon 29-Oct-12 23:19:39

<puts hand up> I'm also now officially TTC smile not supposed to be actively trying til January but a "happy accident" would be greatly received!!

As for de-caf tea, I love it. Started it when pg with MiniWajs and now can't drink anything else.

<waves to all the new peeps>

Sorry crap post but it's bedtime!! DD is not playing the game with the clock change so 6am starts for me sad

mumAAAaaaaaaah Tue 30-Oct-12 12:24:08

Thank you grin (Apologies for the long name also, it's normally Mumah but for the halloween name thread...) Thank you, I'm now over the glum evening I spent sulking over BFN. For 3 days I decided the stick must be wrong so went and wasted another 2 of the suckers convincing myself it was because I was testing too early... Bahh.

Ooh good luck MrsWajs!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 30-Oct-12 14:25:36

Great news MrsWajs - fingers crossed for you (and MrWajs too)

mumAAAaaa - so annoying isn't it, not pregnant and just that little bit poorer to boot! Glad you are feeling brighter now.

peeohayess - I hope you are bearing up ok (the 2ww can be torture)

winterpansy Tue 30-Oct-12 15:38:57

jaff I know! I'm looking forward to the sleep most of all. We're only going to one night as I couldn't bear to leave DS for more than that. We can't get the offer booked over Christmas so we might be going in January. Seems like it could be the perfect chance the kick off the TTC now!

Oooh good luck with the wedding mumAAAaaaaaaah Very exciting! We just married a few months ago and it was great fun. Brilliant day all round.

MrsWajs so you might be the 1st BFP on the thread? Or maybe peeohayess?

Too exciting.

Bridget Any Haribo left grin

amiready Tue 30-Oct-12 21:10:38

Waiting, waiting. Only two more periods to go before WTTC becomes TTC!!! Woo hoo!!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 30-Oct-12 23:02:31

amiready, I feel exactly the same, are you finding it harder and harder to wait the nearer it gets?

winterpansy of course I have lots of haribo left, feel free to have a handful <....conveniently fails to mention the extra bags purchased to fill the rather large dent I made in our trick or treat stockpile grin>

DP is still not back from work - works horrid hours in London and has a long-ish commute each day. I'm starting to wonder if this is going to scupper our ttc efforts somewhat. At the moment, we tend to confine our shags to weekends only and I can see DP struggling to find the energy midweek. In fact, midweek frolics are so rare in our home that, if either one of us initiates it, the other typically responses with "eh, is it Sunday?"

tothemoon Tue 30-Oct-12 23:34:27

amiready bridget 1 more period for me. Also awaiting the birth of our first niece in 3 weeks! Looking at baby clothes for her and secretly compiling a shopping list in my head haha. Torture.

riskit4abiskit Wed 31-Oct-12 08:40:54

Am thrilled to be on this list!

Anyone else thinking this could be our last Christmas as a unit of two people!?

mumAAAaaaaaaah Wed 31-Oct-12 11:54:28

Thank you for the wedding wishes! I am very excited Just nervous of how it'll all go with an 18m DS who is suffering from separation anxiety at the moment, so fear it'll be me holding him throughout the ceremony!

Oh tothemoon shopping for other babies when broody is torturous.

Good luck with the midweek frolics Bridget your house sounds quite similar to ours at the minute. blush

LondonSuperTrooper Wed 31-Oct-12 14:47:05

Welcome to all the new comers to this thread.

Can't write much as we are away for a the half term break. Before you lot get excited we are only in Bath visiting friends. Having a lovely time but wish the weather would sort itself out!!

I'm getting mega excited as only one cycle before we TTC....

And bridget we do not have the problem of mid week frolics wink

Good luck to those TTC now x

winterpansy Wed 31-Oct-12 15:16:36

Mid week frolics....remind me what they are again??
While the thought of TTC is pleasant enough, having to make the effort that many times in a month sounds very tiring!*

*Only slightly joking here...

LondonSuperTrooper Wed 31-Oct-12 15:57:09

Nope I feel exactly the same!! I'm finding it way too much effort!

MrsWajs Wed 31-Oct-12 21:26:50

I'm totally with you there winterpansy! i seem to be lacking in energy these days!!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 31-Oct-12 21:30:03

Happy Halloween to everyone! <brews up a super-strength fertility potion and sprinkles it around> Let's hope 2013 sees the arrival of lots of adorable witches and wizards.

riskit - we are already a family of three but I do know what you mean - keep thinking (and hoping) this may be the last Christmas with our family as it is. DP and I are going to try and do lots of things with Mini Bridget that would be that bit tricker with a baby in tow (theatre, ice-skating etc)

London - ooh, enjoy your half-term break. After tonight, I am not going to be able to write much either (until Sunday) as tomorrow we are making our annual hike up North to visit DP's relatives. They are a 'funny' bunch so it won't be particularly relaxing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Mini Bridget is on her best behaviour as they are getting old and seem to have forgotten what children can be like at times.

I know they say that to maximise your chances of conception you should have sex regularly through-out your cycle, but I really think I am going to have to take a more targetted approach. I don't think my poor old vagina could cope otherwise and DP would be shattered. I also find my libido vanishes without a trace for half the month.

<all the haribo has now gone sad and I didn't even get to have a scream egg angry>

flowersfortea Wed 31-Oct-12 21:33:10

Hi everyone (waving to the new comers!)
So here we go...! This weekend will be first time in years where I will not have restarted my pill bang on time! Mixed feelings on this but I suspect PMS has something to do with it (and horrendously busy at work). Had a random chat with a senior male colleague at work this week about life/work/stress balance, good to see how others do cope with busy careers and family life but it does worry me as already I struggle with work/life balance (I'm training in a professional career, exams upcoming for post-graduate qualifications, working 50hours plus a week, allergic to the hoover/duster...).

Those you who already have kids, how did you feel about this transition for work/career into mum? I'm really looking forward to it but am a naturally anxious person so despite being really excited part of me keeps thinking up all sorts of worries about from conception when stressed, to working with morning sickness, to going back to work, to dealing with grumpy teenagers and full time job! I'd be interested to know how some of you felt at this transition time.

flowersfortea Wed 31-Oct-12 21:34:41

Scream egg smile

riskit4abiskit Wed 31-Oct-12 21:38:27

Flowersfortea, that's also what I worry about. I live and love my job, although I moan when I'm actually there!

Also worried about money im main wage earner and Mr biskit earns min wage.
Anyone else going to be surviving on low money?

flowersfortea Wed 31-Oct-12 21:45:03

We're fortunate that I will have good maternity benefits and at the moment DH's job is stable so as long as we're sensible (we went to Ikea after looking round the shockingly expensive independent furniture shop last Sunday...) should be OK. THat said all this baby stuff is really, really expensive! I heard that the NTC organise second hand sales so might look into that. I mean, babies grow so quickly there's no point buying the top end ranges for day to day things.

My job is, after marriage, the biggest thing in my life. It's a vocation and all our friends are in similarly professional jobs, so unless 2 of my TTC friends beat us to it, we will be the first in the group to have kids. Hoping I'll meet lots of lovely people through antenatal and postnatal groups etc. But even so, I will always plan to go back to work and back into training unless our baby is poorly or has special needs. Daunting, isn't it!

amiready Wed 31-Oct-12 22:04:26

So as it gets closer to the time it's getting more exciting as I'm allowing myself to think about it more.....bit worried and depressed about what will happen at work though as would like to leave my job really but worried about losing the maternity benefits....anyway, the main reason I'm posting is because I'm getting a bit confused about all this cervical mucus stuff and ovulation signs etc....are you supposed to dtd when its ewcm - i.e. thin and stringy or after you've ovulated when it's thick and sticky??! Getting a bit confused - and yes, I know you're supposed to dtd every 3 days etc. but I am like bridget and winterpansy and midweek frolics with 12 hour working days are going to be quite unlikely!! Does anyone know which one is best?

caramal Wed 31-Oct-12 22:58:47

FlowersForTea I was worried about how I'd cope but every pregnancies different hopefully you have a lovely pregnancy when the time comes.

I worked 40 hrs a week on average 12hr shifts whilst pregnant and I had horrendous all day sickness. I'd be sick 4-5 times a day sometimes exhausting!! Had it for 1st six months but I worked through it and finally gave in and went on maternity leave at 34wks. I decided to take the full year maternity and we just cut back a bit.. And then found a new job when my son turned one.

caramal Wed 31-Oct-12 23:01:01

Also finding it hard to wait to start TTC as Dec gets nearer. Can't help but look at pregnant woman..need a bump of my own!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 31-Oct-12 23:02:53

Hi, no expert but pretty certain it is the clear, stretchy cervical mucus (resembling egg whites) produced on the days leading up-to, and at, ovulation that is the stuff to look out for. This is the high quality CM and when you are most fertile. You want to get those swimmers in position, all ready and waiting for the egg.

As a very rough rule of thumb, when you are feeling really wet, get DTD.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 31-Oct-12 23:19:57

amiready - I haven't bought it (yet) but lots of people rave about a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". I think it is meant to explain everything in depth. If I ever go down the temperature charting route, I'll definitely get it.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 01-Nov-12 00:39:22

flowersfortea I am a born worrier too (I bet quite a few of us on this thread are, as we waiting for the 'right time' ttc rather than just wildly throwing the contraception away) so can empathise a bit.

Please try not to get yourself in a pickle - grumpy teenagers are far off into the future, and you will have years of parenting under your belt by then. I think all you can do is try to have the confidence that whatever ttc, pregnancy or parenting throws at you, together you and your DP will cope. You will just do what you need to do.

I knew from the start I would take time out of my career to be a SAHM (not that I would necessarily advise it with the benefit of hindsight!) but have seen lots of other friends successfully juggle demanding careers with motherhood. The key things seem to be childcare you and your child are happy with, a partner that is willing to share the load and, if you can afford it, a cleaner.

I really hope I don't sound patronising - as I think there is nothing worse than parents telling people without children how they'll be or how they'll feel when they become parents - but you may find all your old priorities get totally thrown up into the air once your little one arrives.

TigerseyeMum Thu 01-Nov-12 07:26:56

I have the Taking Charge of your Fertility book and it is good, however we are doing it differently this time as last time it was temping, timings, charting and nothing happened...this time we'll just dtd every 2-3 days and see what happens.

TigerseyeMum Thu 01-Nov-12 08:19:02

Off to GP for pre-ttc check and liquid folic acid prescription. Bit nervous.

batfish Thu 01-Nov-12 09:00:30

Thanks for the welcome bridget - it feels quite scary now I'm on a list! Not sure really what to add until we get cracking!

Good to see that people are excited about trying for number 2 - the parenthood thing must be OK then smile

Just hope I'm cut out for it!

Good luck to everyone who needs it!

LondonSuperTrooper Thu 01-Nov-12 10:30:42

Tiger why liquid folic acid?

batfish Don't worry, you'll be absolutely fine. And parenthood is fab!!

Gooseysgirl Thu 01-Nov-12 10:52:08

Hello all, just checking in again. I've been eating pate and smelly cheese because i can grin Have AF at the moment and was reminding DH that there will be only two more AFs after this before we start TTC again. He's v excited!(Probably more so at the prospect of some regular bedroom action that has been lacking since having DD 8 months ago!!!) He had an email from one of his best mates who's just been told 25% chance of IVF working for them sad so is more keen than ever that we don't postpone DC2..

TigerseyeMum Thu 01-Nov-12 12:50:52

Trooper I'm one of those weirdos who can't swallow tablets but you can get liquid folic on script.

GP just said we have to try again for 6 months as we had a gap between trying (consultant might beg to differ but hey ho) and they would not refer for assisted conception at all as the cut off age is 37 and I am 39.

But he would refer in 6 months for endo treatment so that's something.

I felt ridiculously teary <stupid>

riskit4abiskit Thu 01-Nov-12 18:40:29

Sorry about your appointment Tiger, I think I would be upset in your shoes too.

Can you see a different doctor or consultant, sorry if I missed that bit

TigerseyeMum Thu 01-Nov-12 20:55:13

Riskit, hopefully if needed I will get referred back to my endo consultant and they are fertility experts too do maybe they can offer more. The GP just said that a lot of tests etc are secondary care only and the cut off is 37.

You never know, maybe I won't need any assistance....

jaffacakehips Thu 01-Nov-12 20:58:34

Evening all!

Gosh this thread is moving on, I'm not very good at keeping up blush

AF over here, so only 1 more red witch left before DTD grin Can't remember if I said before, but I've had some blood tests just to check everything is okay. I've been having a few issues with my AF something only I would notice without giving tmi, but yuky really I was concerned as it's been a nearly a year TTC. But hurrah, bloods were A Ok. Just waiting for a scan now and then we'll know what the lay of the land is, so to speak!
On the book reading note: I've been reading about going from 1 child to 2..arghhhh crosses legs total freaking me out.

Can anyone suggest a good ovulation test to use?

Tiger Oh getting teary, this is me all the time wink It just make you feel pants esp in public. Just be firm with your GP, I've had to fight to get some bloody blood done.

LondonSuperTrooper Thu 01-Nov-12 21:22:56

Tiger big hugs. Best of luck in TTC and here's hoping that you will not need any assistance.

Jaffa I'm using the Clearblue Digital Ovulation test. It's been pretty accurate for me so far... albeit it's a little pricey.

TigerseyeMum Thu 01-Nov-12 21:50:57

Thanks for the hugs. It feels exciting taking folic acid again...

amiready Thu 01-Nov-12 22:48:45

every evening spending about half an hour looking at baby names!......Really enjoying taking my frolic acid too heh heh! It's getting closerrrrrrr........

lollyshmollypop Fri 02-Nov-12 01:01:27

Hello ladies, would love to join if I can please!! I will be 39 by the end of this year and already have DS who will be 4 in Feb, so quite a gap... Similar to LONDON' s situation( sorry typing on iPad and have no idea how you do bold letters here!) my DH has been nagging at me, he would love to have daddy's little girl, although there is no guarantee it will be a girl, eh? So I finally decided it s time to TTC. My main concern was that I work, from home, and had to work through my pregnancy and straight from the hospital, our own business, I am afraid, I wish I was rich with all that work! :p anyway I thought maybe we can try once finances improve so I do not need to work, but I don't see it's happening, at the same time I do not wan the gap between DCs to be big and the main thing I am not a spring chicken anymore, so if we do not do it now, then might as well forget it. Would love to have another one, especially a girl to dress her up! My DS is absolute treasure, love him to bits! smile anyway, i was going to wait till Dec, but then there is no guarantee I fall PG straight away, will try to loose extra weight whilst trying(I ve got a stone and a half to loose) .

I am thinking of using OPK, clear blue, read all thereviews on boots web site and everyone is raving ab it, so will give it a go and will keep posting if it's an good. Very very excited! we are going to DTD next week, wish me luck, ladies!

And good luck to everyone here too! <3

Leafmould Fri 02-Nov-12 11:03:13

loveyouforever ttc #2 in December
riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
winterpansy ttc #2 jan/feb
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
notwinkies ttc#2 jan
mrs wajs ttc#2 now!
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
cunningplan December
whyriskit ttc#3 after Xmas
familyguyfab ttc#2 soon
notyouagain ttc#2 after Xmas
amiready ttc#1 after Xmas
*flowers for te*a sooner than she thought!
sloeginfizz December
part1 ttc#2 August
london supertrooper age 38 ttc#2 December
stickthekettleon age 40 ttc#3 next week!
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
bridget&hb age 35 ttc#2 December
accidental exhibitionist ttc#2 February
*batfish *ttc#1 march
jaffacakehips ttc#2 dec/jan
caramal ttc#2 late dec/ jan
lollyshmollypop ttc#2 December
mumaaaah ttc#2 mid December
tothemoon ttc#1 January
peeohayess ttc#2 not actively, but.......
mrs spencer Reid ttc #2 January

Once again, just say if I've got you wrong!

Leafmould Fri 02-Nov-12 11:04:49

If I get a minute, I might try and put us in time order. . . .

But am visiting rellys at the mo, so not online much

lollyshmollypop Fri 02-Nov-12 11:49:04

off to buy clear blue OPK grin

winterpansy Fri 02-Nov-12 14:48:46

Hello newbies!
Another week down of waiting to ttc! Can't believe it is November already. How is everyone doing?
How is the weekend shaping up for you all?
I'm rotten with the cold and DH is working all weekend but me and DS will be doing some fun things anyway.

Leafmould Fri 02-Nov-12 18:25:29

I heard my dp tell his db that we are thinking about #3 ! It makes it more real to hear him talking about it with someone else, as it has taken us quite a long time to get round to thinking about it really.

Has anyone else had to nag their dp a lot taken a long time to decide? I hope he doesn't change his mind!

Flowers for tea,

I have found that my job has slipped down my list of priorities quite a lot since dc. I was never particularly motivated to be a high flier in my profession, but I did work full time at something that I cared about and it was important to me that I did a good job, and I gained the necessary professional qualifications at night school.

Now, I say to my boss that I will consider updating my qualifications, but I have outstanding courses to do, and no realistic plan to ever do them. . . Unless it is in work time. I just don't have the time. Plus I keep asking my boss if I can shave 15 minutes off my working day here there and everywhere, and now I really don't have enough time to do my job properly, but there's nothing much I can do about that, as the children need picking up when the children need picking up. In some ways, working hours are easier when the children are in day care as you can pick them up when your works finished. School pick ups are more challenging, because somebody has to be there at 3 pm. I did have a childminder, but she has stopped minding now sad

Loolysmollypop I don't envy your work situation! That must be quite tiring, and not an aspect to look forward to especially. I hope your dh is ready to make it easier for you when the time comes!

Tigers eye. . I do hope that you get some good support from the endo consultant, and that you don't need it anyway! It must be hard not to feel a lot of pressure in that situation, so I wish you a relaxing time preparing to ttc.

Lots of good wishes to everyone else too. . . Hope you are enjoying half term.

lollyshmollypop Fri 02-Nov-12 20:13:31

my DH is working the weekend too winterpansy, and he is also coming down with the flu, so very grumpy, and I do feel sorry for you sad having cold is not nice in this weather, me and my DS will most likely go up to London for bonfire and fireworks, should be fun grin.

yes, work situation is like hellsad leafmould i am so stressed and grumpy , I am due to file tax returns anyday now, and not much is done. I have part time child minder, which is better than nothing, but no close family, relatives to help out for free and this child care cost is going through the roof shock

winterpansy Fri 02-Nov-12 21:04:29

lolly Have fun in London! Wrap up warm.

Work is just crap isn't it? I wish I could work 2.5 days or something to have the best of both worlds. I have applied for 2 jobs that might let me work from home for 2/3 days a week but it all depends on how much they are paying! We are very lucky that grandparents look after DS when we work or we wouldn't even be thinking of no.2 for financial reasons.

lollyshmollypop Fri 02-Nov-12 21:26:46

thank you winterpansy smilei work from home, so you can imagine grin dont want even go there, its madness:D

SloeGinFizz Fri 02-Nov-12 22:46:20

Hi all, it's been a while since I posted on here (revising for an exam!!!). I see convo has turned to work... I'm glad about that in a way as I worry so much about what work will think when I'm off (I swear my
mind is always a year ahead!). I keep having to remind myself that I'm not actually pregnant AND it's not like I'll be the first woman to ever be in maternity leave! So you may have some advice for me so I stop worrying!

I still haven't started taking folic acid as we've not started ttc yet, should I be taking it already?

Anyway aside from me, me, me I hope you're all enjoying your evenings with a drink or two! Xx

mika2 Fri 02-Nov-12 23:39:05

Hi, can I join?? smile I’m 31, got married a couple of months ago and about to start TTC for no. 1 soon! (Although we want to wait a couple of months – hoping to get promoted in January and not drinking during xmas party season would be way too obvious!)

Amiready/Tiger – I thought TTOYF was really good and I charted for a couple of months earlier this year. I really highlighted that my luteal phase is way too short (approx. 8 days instead of the 12-14 days necessary for implantation) and I’m also not sure I’m ovulating as I’m not having the corresponding temperature rise post ovulation… (probably tmi!) I had an appointment with a consultant last month to get my progesterone levels checked etc and I’m just hoping I’ll get prescribed clomid so I can speed this whole process up… Otherwise I know I’ll be yrs TTC. (I'm an only child and I think my mum had a lot of difficulty so think I'm a bit paranoid - hence the mad rush... DH thinks I'm totally jumping the gun)

Tiger - sorry to hear about your appointment. As riskit said, could you go to another GP/consultant?

Riskit - I’m also worried about juggling career and being a mum – I will probably have to go back to work full time afterwards (or at least 4 days a week), but I work about 50-55 hours a wk as it is (plus one hour commute) and feel permanently exhausted so although I really really want a baby – I have no idea I’ll actually cope!

caramal Sat 03-Nov-12 08:55:20

Having to delay the TTC now sad( the finances have taken a hit (tax credits have suddenly decided we are not entitled to anything until April 2013)! So me and DH working all the hours and hardly seeing each other in the process. We are hoping though that BY April we will be back on the TTC boat. Time to make the most of having that much needed double vodka I think!

flowersfortea Sat 03-Nov-12 17:04:52

Thanks everyone for your help. I think we will just make work fit around family once we have kids, no point worrying about it.

DH made an interesting comment about how I seem to be pregnant in my brain already - but then followed up by telling me his favourite girl's name! I think he's looking forward to just having lots of fun trying :-)

Caramal - really sorry to hear about that. It's such an investment in your family's future but it sounds like a hard decision to have to make.

porridgewithalmondmilk Sat 03-Nov-12 20:34:19

I'll be trying in September smile am I the longest waiter?

Larty74 Sat 03-Nov-12 20:49:49

Hello everyone, mind if I join you? We are currently ttc #2 w/in the last month, but like most trying not to get too excited as with DS we hardly had to blink at each other!

Anyway, looking forward to keeping up with everyones posts! smile

peeohayess Sun 04-Nov-12 08:10:59

<waves at everyone> I'm lurking, sorry...

tiger fx you don't need a referral!

We have never used the ovulation prediction sticks or charted but I am quite lucky to have a regular cycle and get a pain when I'm ovulating. We did do cm-watch when ttc dc1 but it's been difficult since i gave birth because things seem to have changed or not fully settled down yet. I can't yet tell the difference in cm at different cycle times, iyswim. (sorry for tmi).

I've had low grade period pain type cramps all this week which isn't non-pg normal... And yesterday started back ache which feels like the backache I had at 20+ weeks last time. We are now 9 dpo...


riskit4abiskit Sun 04-Nov-12 09:32:40

pee what do ovulation pains feel like?.have been on contraception since 16 so am clueless. Like period pain twisty ache or like a sharp needle?

caramal sorry you are having to wait, hope the finances get easier for you.

I went to the docs with sore boobs and they said was nothing they could pin down but to come off the pill, so had last pill earlier than expected! Condoms for a month I guess. Am sitting typing this in bed with godawful period pains. Grrrr.

peeohayess Sun 04-Nov-12 13:52:36

biskit it is a very specific type of pain and it is not dissimilar to period pain, but localised around where my ovary is. Sometimes it radiates down the front of the leg on the same side. Others may experience it differently, but that's how it feels to me!

LondonSuperTrooper Sun 04-Nov-12 18:10:12

Peeohayess Blimey I don't even get a twich when I'm ovulating. I've no clue when I'm ovulating which is why I have to rely on OPK.

Hi to all the newcomers - our list of TTcer's is definitely growing smile

Definitelysometime Sun 04-Nov-12 19:29:09

I have really distinct ovulation pains too peeo. I can literally feel myself 'popping out an egg', as it were. Mine always seems to be the right side though - is that normal?!

Great to see so many more waiting to TTC here with us. porridge think you have the longest wait at the mo, but hopefully we'll just keep growing our little group! Will this be your first?

I've been offline for a while, trying not to think about TTC too much as I still have 6m + to go! It's so exciting to see some of you ladies get started though, when are our first testers??

riskit4abiskit Sun 04-Nov-12 20:13:57

Thanks, don't think I've ever felt it then!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 04-Nov-12 21:35:55

Hello to everyone (especially all the new faces), just got back from our family half-term trip to see relatives. Mini Bridget was very good (only one tantrum) and Bridget Dog was pretty good too (only one wee in the wrong place and only one bin raided). All in all, it was a success. Now I'm left with a mountain of washing and everything to get ready for school tomorrow.

AF was very thoughtful and didn't put in an early appearance whilst we were away - now I just want her to hurry up and arrive so that I can get my November cycle behind me. Have had lots of crampy feelings today so know she is coming soon.

Leafmould thanks for keeping an eye on the list. I hope your trip went well too. My DP has taken approximately 4 years to succumb to my nagging come around to the idea of having a second child. I'm quite envious you are going for your third. Recently I've been daydreaming about a brood of three...and number two is not even conceived yet!

Sloe - I hope all the revision paid off and the exam went/goes well. I'd get on the folic acid, no harm taking it sooner rather than later. In fact, now is probably a good time to start if you are going to ttc in December. I am still pants at remembering to take it (and surprise, surprise I forgot to pack it too)

peeoh - sorry you are feeling scared, here, have an unmumsnetty hug whilst no one is watching.

Right better tackle that ironing, polish those shoes and find that book-bag..

lollyshmollypop Mon 05-Nov-12 00:43:12

Hi everyone again, I am like London, don't feel a thing when I am ovulating to be honest. We will be DtD I think on Tuesday, need to sort my "lady garden" at waxing salon tomorrow blush sorry tmi! And off we go!! Wish me luck, ladies! I already have one DS, who is 3.5, and got preggers wi him second cycle when TTC, but I am a little bit scared it may take longer this time round as I am 38 already! hmm using OPK, but no smiley face yet!! Still going to TTC on Tuesday, hoping for a girl this time wink
Wish me luck!!

lollyshmollypop Mon 05-Nov-12 00:44:51

Fx * Bridget* smile

LondonSuperTrooper Mon 05-Nov-12 08:52:15

Best of luck lolly

bridget glad that you had a good time at your in-laws. Hope you got all of the stuff stuff sorted in time for this morning. I also did most of it last night.

batfish Mon 05-Nov-12 12:46:02

Wow I can see I have a lot to learn! I don't understand any of the abbreviations (other than TTC) and wouldn't have the foggiest how to know when I am ovulating.

Planning to just see how it goes and then if it takes a while then I guess I'll have to start learning how it all works!

DejaB00 Mon 05-Nov-12 12:59:41

Hi ladies can I join??
I'm 33 and want to start ttc for #2 now but I need my implant removing. Just rang the doc and she has no appts until December. angry gutted. Perhaps a sharp knife will do wink
DS is 2.5 and we have decided to ttc now even though we live in a rental which is too small. We can't move out for another year for various reasons, but it's now or never, I'm so very broody and DS is such a caring little boy who treats the cat like his little brother I can't wait to see him with a sibling smile, so when pg we'll take a trip to Ikea to improve our storage!!

DejaB00 Mon 05-Nov-12 13:15:07

batfish have a look here

batfish Mon 05-Nov-12 13:15:56

Thanks DejaBOO !

Sorelip Mon 05-Nov-12 13:36:08

Hi all! We were supposed to be TTCing in October, but circumstances dictated that we wait for a bit. Now we've decided that we are going to start trying, so I will be coming off of the pill today and taking my folic acid, etc. I know that it's going to be really hard at first, as I have a 10 month old DS, but it'll come good.

I'm so excited!

lollyshmollypop Mon 05-Nov-12 14:32:07

good luck sorelip, I think you are a hero smile with the 10 m o baby! grin

i got my smiley face after me POAS earlier today! so moving the DTD from tomorrow to tonight! DH is having a cold and not really enthusiastic, thinking that him having cold may affect the genetics of a baby if conceived confused
did my research and there is nothing to support his theory so as far as I am concerned we are on! fxblush

lollyshmollypop Mon 05-Nov-12 14:32:46

am I the first one on this thread to actually TTC?? hmm

Sorelip Mon 05-Nov-12 14:45:18

I think so lolly.

I'm no hero, just a bit nuts I think. It's all part of my plan to get the pregnancy and baby stage over with. And then retrain as an accountant and get moderately rich.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 05-Nov-12 16:00:38

Good luck lolly - I think you are amongst the first, but a few are already trying too (Larty for example?)

winterpansy Mon 05-Nov-12 16:22:12

lolly Good luck for tonight! How weird is it that we are wishing you the best with DTD grin May everyone enjoy themselves!

sorelip You're mental..but in a good way! I know what you mean about getting the baby stage over and done with though. In a few years you might actually get a full night's sleep..the rest of us will be waiting a few years more!

Sorelip Mon 05-Nov-12 17:08:45

winter I'm one of the smug bastards that has a baby that sleeps through the night. It's a miracle I attribute to my mum, who stayed up through 4 nights to rock him to sleep, thereby training him to sleep through.

So if/when number 2 comes along, I'll probably be treated to what most other mums have to put up with. Oh the joy. grin

DS just treated me to the biggest smile. Now I know why I want another.

lollyshmollypop Mon 05-Nov-12 18:48:32

aww thats sweet smile sorelip.
I have no idea whats happening with my TTC; my DH just announced that he feels like sh*t, he is not well, and I cant have everything my way. he says he s been asking me to have a second child for htree years and my answer was I am not ready, and now I want here and now, so he is not well and not up for it, so he says it has to be next month.

I got so excited, and now feel cheated sad

feel like saying to hiom screw you, I am fine as it is, one is enough sad
what a dramaangry

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 05-Nov-12 20:35:35

Never mind lolly, this is just a hiccup. Your DH is probably just feeling rotten and will be as keen to try as you are once he is recovered. You aren't necessarily out for the month anyway if you don't DTD tonight - OPKs only predict you're likely to ovulate in the next 24/36 hours or so..tomorrow DH might be up for it.

It is difficult when one person is ready for another and the other isn't. I spent ages and ages waiting for DP to decide to have another (in fact, thought it would probably never happen and had worked hard to accept it) so did feel rather annoyed when he didn't really want to take a break from ttc until Dec and I did. I can sort of understand that "you can wait for me now" feeling.

lollyshmollypop Mon 05-Nov-12 21:02:06

thank you bridget smile
we settled for wednesday and friday, i think it is still should be fine, as you said OPK is a guidline for the next few days, and gives him enough time to recover I hope hmm so FX smile

but thank you for your kind words of support smile
good luck to you too smile

flowersfortea Mon 05-Nov-12 21:46:49

Oh Lolly how frustrating - hope he comes round soon!

Fingers crossed for us over the next couple of weeks but I'm trying really hard not to get neurotic so (much to DH's delight) taking the JS approach - however I am keeping a sneaky half eye on my cycle just in case it helps :-)

Anyone else glad that the Monday morning feeling is over for another week? Just got the rest of the week to get through hmm

lollyshmollypop Mon 05-Nov-12 22:21:35

thank you flowers
it is annoying but cant DTD without him hmm
so have to be patient I guess
good luck to you too, isnt it exciting!! I am so thrilled! cant believ it still as I was so not into the whole idea, with all the work pressure, being WAHM....

ZenNudist Tue 06-Nov-12 07:03:18

Can I join? Was going to start TTC after Christmas but only just started new job. I think we will now try in mar/April 13. Will be 35 in oct so hoping to be pg by then as 4y gap sounds perfect. Going to read rest of thread now. Watching with interest as I see a few people having similar ishoos to me. smile

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 06-Nov-12 10:01:53

Hi Zen - good to have you on board! Hope the new job is going well, congratulations.

LondonSuperTrooper Tue 06-Nov-12 10:59:06

Zen welcome! Your plans of waiting before TTC seems sound. I think you need to work for a certain period of time before claiming maternity leave/pay?

Lolly hope that your DH recovers in time for tonight wink

2beornot Tue 06-Nov-12 12:18:38

Another one wanting to join, if you'll have me!! DH and I are going up ttc #2 in the new year. Our dd will be 2 in January. I personally would have liked a smaller gap but it took DH a while to come around to the idea of having two children.

We are going to just do lots and lots of shagging. It worked too well with DD - fell first cycle. Am trying to tell myself it won't happen again but I can't help feeling hopeful!

LondonSuperTrooper Tue 06-Nov-12 12:56:14

welcome 2beornot It has taken me over 4 years to persuade DH that we should TTC #2. Well done on only taking 2 years!

I think that there is quite few of us who are TTCing in Dec/new year. It's good that we have the online support network grin

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Tue 06-Nov-12 13:13:42

Just a quick note to say those wttc in Dec...eeek its only next month!!

LondonSuperTrooper Tue 06-Nov-12 13:29:01

I know, but for me it's 1.5 cycles away....... Plus, I would like to have moved into my new house before TTC. I'm going to take it easy this time round and hopefully avoid another miscarriage.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 06-Nov-12 14:37:29

Hellooo LoveYouForever so great to see you back on the thread <waves like a crazy woman> I was worried I'd offended you by giggling about your cat post.

Yep, December is fast approaching. I just want my November AF to arrive ASAP now, blinking typically that she always arrives when you don't want her and stays away when you're waiting!!

LondonSuper - I've had a long, long wait for DP to come around too. Did you ever think your other half never would? Hope all the house moving stuff is going smoothly. Do you think you'll be in by Christmas?

2beornot Tue 06-Nov-12 16:05:23

Question for those of you on the pill......

Do you have a month off, have a proper period and then ttc? Or just start from the last pill? I did the former with my daughter (I think that is what you are supposed to do) but if I do that this time then there will be no sex in Dec because my and DH can't use condoms. That doesn't sound like fun!!

ZenNudist Tue 06-Nov-12 17:58:21

Hi 2beornot your dd is 4m younger than my ds and I was going to TTC %232 in jan too. Can't do that now due to new job (do not want to be the one who gets pg in 6m probation period) but quite sad to wait. I wish you luck in your efforts!

With ds I came off pill, started shagging straight away and had one period and that was it - pg! I suppose it depends on your mood but I thought 'warm up' shagging seemed like a good idea. I think now your have your dd you may be too tired for random less productive sex!! It can't hurt to get a few sessions in as soon as you come off pill... Keep us posted how it goes. I'm wondering if I'll fall so quickly next time I TTC. I think I got some kind of fertility boost from coming off pill after 16 solid years. Won't happen next time as I decided to leave off pill after ds was born.

2beornot Tue 06-Nov-12 19:01:19

Zen - I had same issue with starting new job last time. I wanted to be there at least a year before going off on mat leave. Technically I managed it (but only by using annual leave!).

I may have had that boost too - although I have been back on the pill. Trying not to get my hopes up that it'll happen so quickly again!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Tue 06-Nov-12 19:02:59

Oh my goodness bridget not at all! Lol I chuckled when you mentioned it sounded funny too lol

Not long now ladies (gets excited and wants af to hurry up and come and go already to make it seem sooner!)

peeohayess Tue 06-Nov-12 22:37:22

Well it looks like the 2ww is over... AF arrived today... I think. She is not her usual self. And she is 3 days early. I do not like AF. sad

Disappointed because I'd kind of got myself excited that we might be having another, even though it would be really hard work. Will have to start thinking about ttc properly and DH is going to take some convincing.

Good luck to those who are dtd the next couple of days!

TigerseyeMum Wed 07-Nov-12 09:35:57

Sorry about AF.

I am still on the pill this month but getting endo pain, bleeding and I feel sick every morning. Not looking forward to coming off it...

Plan to stop it in 2 weeks and start ttc in December because my endo is playing up, I may need an op so better to get going.

winterpansy Wed 07-Nov-12 09:55:08

Aw..sorry peeo Get convincing that DH of yours asap - I'm sure it won't take too long.

I'm impatiently waiting to hear if I've got an interview for a couple of jobs I've applied for (closing date was last Fri). I've got an ongoing greivence at work against my line manager (and it's a really small office) so it's not a great situation to be in. The upside is..if I don't get either of these jobs then we can start ttc sooner rather than later which might mean only 2 AFs left until starting in earnest. I'll get outta here one way or another!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 07-Nov-12 11:04:42

Ladies shall I poas or am I kidding myself? Last af was 5th oct have a 32 day cycle thought I was due on yesterday...still no af...we dtd unprotected but not when I ov....i dont think anyway...

LondonSuperTrooper Wed 07-Nov-12 12:22:42

peeo sorry about AF.
LYFMB No harm in testing is there?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 07-Nov-12 13:05:45

Sorry peeo - always gutting when your hopes are dashed - any chance it is just an implantation bleed?

Oh LoveYouForever, tough question! Is 32 days just your average? Or are you pretty consistent? Can you wait until you are beyond your longest 'normal-range' cycle length? (easier said than done though!)

If you are going to test (and I probably would as I hate the uncertainty of not knowing), I'd advise using a sensitive test and first morning urine. That way you are more likely to be believe the result. I have lost track of the number of times I've peed on a stick and kept still hanging on hoping because I peed mid-afternoon or straight after a drink or something.

Also, try to have something nice planned (even if it just treating yourself to a posh coffee or a chocolate bar) for after you test (obviously not immediately if you are using FMU) - just a way of being kind to yourself if the result is disappointing.

Fingers firmly crossed for you. But remember if AF shows up, or you only get a single line, we are going to have heaps of fun on the December thread and autumn/winter babies are just as fab as July babies.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 07-Nov-12 13:28:51

:-( pretty sure af is arriving - starting to spot. Looks like I'll have to wait my turn Dec as planned...feel a bit deflated nevermind only 1 month til we can start trying - opk and poas at the ready!

LondonSuperTrooper Wed 07-Nov-12 14:09:19

Sorry that AF is on her way angry

But hey, we can all TTC at the same time and it'd be nice to have the company. I've already bought several pregnancy kits & we haven't even started to TTC blush

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 07-Nov-12 14:33:28

Sorry LoveYouForever, here have a nice warm cuppa brew

Leafmould Wed 07-Nov-12 19:40:26

mrs wajs ttc#2 now
flowers for tea sooner than she thought!
stickthekettleon age 40 ttc#3 next week!
peeohayess ttc#2 not actively, but.......
Sore lip ttc#2 
Larty74 ttc #2

loveyouforever ttc #2 in December
riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
cunningplan December
familyguyfab ttc#2 soon
sloeginfizz December
london supertrooper age 38 ttc#2 December
bridget&hb age 35 ttc#2 December
jaffacakehips ttc#2 dec/jan
lollyshmollypop ttc#2 December
mumaaaah ttc#2 mid December
DejaB00 age 33 ttc #2 December

After Xmas
whyriskit ttc#3 after Xmas 
notyouagain ttc#2 after Xmas 
amiready ttc#1 after Xmas

winterpansy ttc #2 jan/feb
notwinkies ttc#2 january
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
tothemoon ttc#1 January
mrs spencer Reid ttc #2 January
2beornot ttc #2 new year
Mika2 age 31 ttc #1 after getting promoted! (fx)

crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
accidental exhibitionist ttc#2 February

batfish ttc#1 march

Zen nudist age 34 ttc #2 April/may?
caramal ttc#2 hopefully April.

leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.

part1 ttc#2 August

Porridge with almond milk

Once again, just say if I've got you wrong!

Leafmould Wed 07-Nov-12 19:51:14

Porridge with almond milk, I think we can safely say that you are currently the longest waiter, but I'm sure there'll be good company along the way! Welcome.

Hope those with af are getting extra chocolate rations in! It's disheartening, but hopefully we will get a bfp soon on this thread.

Winter pansy, I hope you do get those interviews, the work situation sounds stressful, and you really don't need it while when you are pregnant.

Hope everyone else is also having a good day. I managed to get loads of cleaning and washing done, and had my dd's pals over for tea. I love there being kids on our street. It was a bit sad at my bil and sil's house. . . There were no children at all!

winterpansy Wed 07-Nov-12 20:24:51

Thanks leafmold My workplace was pretty stressful last time I was pregnant so I really don't want to go through that again if I can help it. I can feel my ttc obsession getting stronger and stronger each day now though! It's keeping me going.

Thanks also for amending the list to relect the timescales. Woohoo! Very exciting smile

Glad you had a productive day! I need to do some cleaning and washing but am full of zzzzzzzzs...will have to do a litte bit before bed or I'll feel guilty.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 07-Nov-12 20:47:40

Thanks for the updated list Leafmould, you are a superstar! Really interesting to see us all in date order. Really rather envious that you managed to get loads of cleaning and washing done - I haven't managed to catch-up from being away envy Everything is taking forever to dry and I feel like I'm living in a launderette.

Every time they mention the poor ash trees on the news, I can't help but think of your chat nickname!

Fingers crossed for you Winterpansy, it must be such an uncomfortable working environment. Good on you for hanging on in there.

tigerseye - I am shamefully ignorant about endometriosis but it sounds pretty grim. Is it inevitable that coming off the pill will worsen things? It must be so difficult to want to ttc but know that you face feeling even more rotten whilst you try.

Leafmould Wed 07-Nov-12 21:18:01

Hi Bridget, I am not the most methodical of cleaners, but as my dd has a dust mite sensitivity, I am really trying to get on top of it. Wednesday is usually my day off, so if I don't go for it on weds, It waits til Sunday.

We were lucky to have a breezy day today. I have been resorting to my tumble drier a lot recently though blush

It is terrible that it has been found in so many areas already, this ash disease. Dutch elm disease took 20 years to reach us, but I suspect this will be a lot quicker sad

My leafmould is mostly hornbeam though. Mixed with crisp and fag packets!

louloutheshamed Wed 07-Nov-12 21:24:26

Hello ladies I would like to join this thread! I want to ttc dc number 2 in dec/jan. my ds will be 2 in jan, which will result in a much bigger age gap than most of my friends who all seem to have gone For 15/18m gaps!

The thing is at the minute I have the implant so I really need book an appt to get it removed- does it have a similar effect to the pill in that you get a fertility surge when you stop, or does the implant not work like that?

I got pg in first month of trying with ds but am prepared that I might not be so lucky this time! I am 29 this week, was 27 when had ds. Lurked on this thread last week and it reminded me to start taking folic acid so thank you!!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 07-Nov-12 22:33:58

This thread makes me feel excited and like theres something to look forward to, fingers crossed for all of us! Glad we have each other to and for support as well.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 07-Nov-12 22:37:06

Welcome loulou!

winterpansy Thu 08-Nov-12 08:58:26

Thanks bridget It's hard going but I have faith it will all work out.

Loveyou I'm all excited too! I love checking in knowing others are in the same boat about having to wait. My friends are having a baby boom at the minute and I just want it to be me next!

Hiya loulou!

LondonSuperTrooper Thu 08-Nov-12 10:20:46

Leafmould thanks for compiling the list. It's great that we are all now in TTC order.

Welcome loulou

MrsWajs Thu 08-Nov-12 10:50:08

Thanks for the list leafmould it's fab smile

Sorry for those with AF & BFN sad

I'm on 2ww now (CD22) so trying not to go crazy and will NOT be testing until I'm VERRRRY late wink (the capitals are for my own benefit and not yours hehe!)

TigerseyeMum Thu 08-Nov-12 11:58:36

I have 1.5 weeks to go on my current packet then will get back in the saddle smile

Bit scared, my endo is already painful. Will request a gp referral to the clinic as well.

Anyone else ttc in December?

LondonSuperTrooper Thu 08-Nov-12 12:34:50

Good luck MrsW It'd be lovely to have a BFP on this thread.

Tiger I think that there's a fair few of use TTCing in Dec.

Bridget&hb Sorry, i haven't responded to one of your questions in the previous posts. I'm not sure whether we will be in our new house by December. I think that we are really hoping for that but it all depends on the mortgage coming through in time. We have the decision in principle for the mortgage, have a solicitor on the ready and the building survey and valuation was carried out earlier this week. I will only TTC if I've moved.

Also, does anyone know much about flying in the first trimester? Is it a big no no?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 08-Nov-12 17:40:31

Feeling sad and fed-up. AF has finally properly arrived after starting and stopping since the beginning of the week. What would have been my due date is fast approaching and feel totally hacked off I've been waiting to start bleeding rather than waiting for a gorgeous baby to arrive.

Lots of huge bumps on the school run at the moment. I haven't found the small ones too upsetting over the last 7/8 months, but for some reason the big ones are really hard to see. Can't help feeling that in some parallel universe I should be one of them.

Also chickened out of taking my driving test next week.

<Sorry for the self-pitying post. I'll be fine tomorrow. Think my hormone levels are crashing and making me miserable>

flowersfortea Thu 08-Nov-12 17:54:35

Hi Bridget really sorry to hear you're feeling down today. There's not much to say that can help but you're in my thoughts, wherever you are. xx

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 08-Nov-12 18:51:35

Huge hugs to you bridget try to see this af as one step closer to that bfp you (and we) are all going to get v.v.soon. Use it as an excuse to eat choc and relax. Then come Dec we can all start charting, using opk having exciting 2ww and symptom spot all together. Huge hugs and chin up.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 08-Nov-12 20:55:48

Hi flowers and LoveYouForever, thank you for the kind words and hugs, I really appreciate them. Feeling a bit brighter now - I had a self-indulgent sob and then gave myself a kick up the arse! Lots to feel very grateful for.

Don't think I'll get a BFP very quickly - but that's ok - I just want one before too long IYSWIM. I am looking forward to lots of ttc sex (TMI alert but I love lying there afterwards hoping that we've hit the jackpot) but I hate the 2ww with a passion. Unfortunately, my PMS symptoms are annoyingly similar to early pregnancy signs, so, perversely, the less pregnant I feel, the more hopeful I get.

I really wish there was some chocolate in the house - I got a sugar fix from some hot jammy toast but it hasn't really hit the mark.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 08-Nov-12 21:07:11

London I've got my fingers firmly crossed for you re: the mortgage. We want you on the December thread!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 08-Nov-12 21:10:59

Arrrggghhh, just realised I missed "The Young Apprentice" - thought it started at 9pm!

Leafmould Thu 08-Nov-12 22:30:50

Bridget. Sorry you are having a tough time just now. I hope that the longer road leads to the greater rewards. . . Was reflecting on this today, as a young woman I am mentoring was going soft over photos of kids. I really think that the experience of ttc and having children is very different when you are in your 20's, or an accidental pg, than later on once the tick tock is louder and you have spent time deciding, planning etc. I can't believe how chilled I was about it. . . Didn't realise that you had to think about schools before they were 4, that there may not be adequate child care nearby for return to work, that breast feeding is a challenge, so many things.

Love is love, but having much anticipated children is maybe a different sort of fulfilment than surprises.

Winter pansy, I too am seeing dozens of baby pics on fb. There were 3 pg announcements in a row the other day! I do feel left out, as I had my kids way before my friends, and the only one of my contemporaries who I was pregnant with is not longer caring for her kids sad. I have school mum friends, but I think there is a special bond with friends who you knew before, and made the transition with together.

Hope all is well with everyone, fx mrs waj 2ww!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 08-Nov-12 22:47:27

Young apprentice was good bridget watch it on catch up!

LondonSuperTrooper Fri 09-Nov-12 09:07:34

bridget big hugs are coming your way. I hope that you are feeling better today? Thanks for the good luck wishes reg my mortgage. I would love to be on the December TTC. But have no fear, I'll still posting with you all smile

Leafmould I know exactly what you mean! I'm finding it extremely unfair (unjustifiable though) that people seem to be having little 'accidents' whilst I've been planning just to TTC and thinking of how to cover childcare etc. I guess it just goes to show that we should just go for it and things will just to have to work out.

I watched the young apprentice. Some of these kids are so scary. I wish I had half their confidence at their age!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 09-Nov-12 17:53:27

Thanks Leafmould and London, I feeling much happier today. I had a lovely walk with BridgetDog this morning which really raised my spirits. It's hard to stay cross with the world when you are stomping through beautiful National Trust parkland, with Autumn colours all around, and with a happy waggy companion by your side. Even slipping on some wet leaves and bashing my shins didn't dent my mood!

Leaf I have been mulling over your last post on and off all day. I fell pregnant with Mini Bridget very quickly and look back with amazement at how naive I was. I just blindly assumed everything would go swimmingly (which thankfully it did) but I was so unaware of how blessed I was. I sort of envy the innocence that my old self had, but at the same time I appreciate everything that time has taught me. I bet, without meaning to be, I was horribly insensitive to those around me with private fertility problems.

I do worry that I have spent so many years dreaming about DC2, and imaging ourselves as a family of four, that I may have expectations that no real child could possibly fulfil. On the other hand, when DD arrived my whole world felt like it was turned upside down and it probably took me about a year to adapt to my new identity. I think this time around I have more realistic expectations of life with a newborn, toddler, and so on, and DD has already done the hard work of breaking me in!

It is a bit horrid when you are out of sync with your peers when it comes to the timing of having children. I don't think people mean to leave others out, but people do seem to gravitate towards others who have children at a similar age, or a similar family size. I felt horribly excluded when all my antenatal friends started having their second children. I felt like I didn't have the right to moan about anything when they were juggling two and I just had DD to manage. I was probably being paranoid but I did feel that a couple of the mums felt that they were somehow superior because they had more children.

My mum always said don't worry they won't keep having more and more babies - this will pass - and she was right (funny advice though from someone who had seven!)

Sorry for the epic post!

Leafmould Fri 09-Nov-12 22:45:18

Hello everyone!

I had a horrible 1hour dental appointment today, after which I went back to bed! Better than last time, when I went to work and got nowt done because the local anaesthetic made me so dippy.

Your walk in the woods sounds lovely Bridget. The trees really are amazing. I did find time to admire a beech tree today. Am hoping to get a good walk with family on Sunday if it is not raining.

I know exactly what you mean about the naivety of the easy-come pregnancy. I recall myself saying "I don't know, we'll figure it out" a LOT!

And I think we are lucky to have had that experience, and perhaps be able to appreciate it on reflection, even if we didn't realise it at the time. It must have been infuriating for others, though, like London says!

It is a shame when motherhood has an element of, almost competition to it. it is tough when you are struggling with external stuff: work issues, housing, finances, uncooperative partners which is thwarting our biological instinct to have more kids, and it is hard not to compare ourselves with others, But that is where the judgementalism starts.

I am finding this thread really useful for reflecting on ttc and parenthood, and although I am really looking forward to starting to ttc again, it is also good to look back on what it was like before, so thank you for that.

Loulou, I will put you on the list soon. Welcome!

Bridget. . . Have you booked another test yet? You do not want to be doing it while you are pg, that is for sure!

justcait Sat 10-Nov-12 07:49:07

I just found this thread, and it's perfect - I'm waiting to ttc too, can I join you?? First attempt, we'll probably start trying in April (I started a new job this past July).

I'm a bit worried about it tbh... Babies always seemed like something I would get around to eventually (I've never really been broody), now suddenly I'm 35, I have a stressful career-crucial job AND we're trying to buy a house for the first time (yes, I do procrastinate, sometimes for years smile I'm trying to be a bit zenlike about it, start taking vit D and B complex and cut down on drinking to get in the habit... we shall see. Whatever will be will be, right?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 10-Nov-12 11:02:22

Welcome justcait!

flowersfortea Sat 10-Nov-12 12:07:42

Sitting on a train, interesting quiet time to reflect on your posts above about ttc. Justcait, I too am trying to be zen like but completely failing. Slightly panicking about not having had my rubella immunity checked because could be in my first fertile window (although no way of knowing for sure, just came off pill and am.determined not to start monitoring for ovulation for some months yet), in my job see lots of kids and although I've had all my jabs still making me worry. Even though I know rubella is rare now!.

Where is the zen? Hoping a day out in London with my dearest school friend before she emigrates will help me find it! Ooh and preggers SIL with 1yr baby niece coming to visit soon :-)

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sat 10-Nov-12 12:37:25

Hello justcait

flowersfortea - hope you have a lovely day out in London with your friend. Try not to worry too much about your rubella immunity. You should be fine if you had all your jabs at the right time.

leaf - hope you're not feeling too sore today

justcait Sat 10-Nov-12 15:27:32

flowersfortea I'm supposed to have my rubella immunity checked?? I had been blithely assuming that two shots years ago sorted that out. What else is on the 'waiting to ttc' to do list (other than waiting, got that one sorted)?

[feeling faintly ignorant about the whole process]

justcait Sat 10-Nov-12 15:28:47

LYFMB & Bridget thanks for the welcome smile

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 10-Nov-12 18:58:12

My turn for a down day today...seems like everyone I know (mum friends, neighbours, work mates, NCT group) are on their second. Feel down and jealous. Sorry for dragging the mood down.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sat 10-Nov-12 20:41:44

So sorry to hear you are feeling down LoveYouForever <gives your hand a gentle squeeze and passes the wine>, hang on in there, your time will come. And when your gorgeous little squidgy newborn arrives, he or she will be totally worth having waited for.

When everyone around me seemed to be having their second child - and I wasn't - I found it comforting to think of it that they had already got their "Christmas" present but, in a funny sort of way, I was lucky because I still had all of that excitement and joy still to come. I hope that makes sense!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sat 10-Nov-12 21:04:05

Justcait - if you go to the conception section of mumsnet you will find a long list of pre-conception checks to have (bump to teens > conception > trying to conceive). However, I think it is really a matter of personal choice and personal circumstances as to how you comprehensive you want, or need, to be.

For example, I have made sure that my smear test is up-to-date, but I haven't had a toxoplasmosis test done as my GP surgery is reluctant to do them (they argue it just makes women more anxious if the test shows that they don't have immunity)

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sat 10-Nov-12 21:54:14

You're so right Bridget, going to start thinking about it that way. Like saving your nice piece of cake when everyone else has finished theirs already. Aw I like it smile thank you.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 11:23:33

Hi LoveYouForever, hope you are feeling brighter today.

I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend and has lots of enjoyable plans for the day. Cold but dry and sunny here (Surrey). DP out with the dog, DD glued to the ipad and I'm faced with a choice between ironing or tidying up the kitchen....<ooops, I seem to have stumbled onto mumsnet instead!>

Seriously considering ditching the condoms this month and not actively trying but not actively stopping either. I know that being the youngest in the school year isn't ideal but, given that I'm very unlikely to fall straight away, I'm starting to question the wisdom of waiting until December...

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 11:46:20

Oh MrsWajs, how is the 2ww going? Are you managing to stay sane and resist testing early? Or is there lots of crazy boob prodding and twinge analysing going on? Fingers firmly crossed for you.

Flowers, how are you feeling off the pill? Any new hormonal stuff happening? Don't think I felt any different initially but over time i have noticed cyclical changes to my mood, skin, libido etc.. which I think the pill kept more constant. Of course, always hard to know how much is simply being more observant now (and getting older!)

Anyone got any news?...anything juicy to distract me from housework?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 11:49:17

Right better log out, probably should think about starting to get some lunch ready for DD!

flowersfortea Sun 11-Nov-12 15:22:47

Hi Everyone, lovely weather here too and enjoyed wandering around kids section of debenhams on the excuse of baby niece visiting next week! Limited myself to buying things that say 12m+ on the box though as husband is enjoying the 'JS' approach and don't want to put him off hehe...

Bridget I am also avoiding the housework... Feeling ok so far without my pill, last week felt quite grumpy and achey generally but lots of my colleagues had horrible colds so I think perhaps was something similar not the hormones. Feeling strange about the upcoming 2WW (MrsWajs how are you doing?) because I don't really know when to expect my first post-pill period, will see how it goes!

Loveyouforever hope you're feeling better today.

justcait Sun 11-Nov-12 18:18:58

Thanks Bridget I had a look and it's a helpful list. Now to try and get an appointment with my gp...

amiready Sun 11-Nov-12 18:28:53

Finished November AF. Just one more to go....
One thing though, it's slightly complicated waiting for the December AF because the way my dates will work, if I conceived straight away I would potentially have a baby the 5th of Sept, which is quite close to the school year cut off - especially if it is early for any reason etc.! Would seem a shame after all this waiting and (excessive) planning, to then go and miss the school year cut off anyway! Do I risk it or do I wait for the January cycle, just to be safe?? Hmmmm.....
Also does anyone know what the school year cut off actually is?? I'm assuming its the 1st of September but someone I know said it wasn't and that it was later??!
How many people are waiting till December just because of the school year issue? That's the only reason we're waiting really.....

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sun 11-Nov-12 18:36:14

Feeling better today thank you ladies, although have spent all day trying to convince dh to let us ttc from now, but he's adament we wait until Dec...domg want to push my luck as I got him agree to move it fwd from Jan.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sun 11-Nov-12 18:40:14

We waiting til Dec because I return to work soon and we want to go on holiday next summer. Ttc any earlier wld mean returning to work pg after a yrs mat leave which would be difficult enough settling back without morning sickness etc and not going on holiday as I would be too heavily pg.

Just one more af to go though!!

Swedeheeed Sun 11-Nov-12 19:57:39

Brand new here.Took first folic acid today-ttc from Dec!Scary!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sun 11-Nov-12 20:46:24

Welcome swedeheeed!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 21:11:05

Hello Swede, pull up a chair and make yourself at home. Gosh, December is going to be a busy month wink

flowers - aaah, it's great when you have a legitimate reason to wander around the babywear sections. There is something about white baby-gros that never fails to make me broody (oh, and teeny, weeny baby socks).

LoveYouForever - glad you are feeling happier. It's a shame DH isn't for budging but December is getting ever closer, and your reasons for waiting are sound.

amiready - As far as I know the school year cut-off date around here (Surrey) is the 1st September (but don't quote me on it). I can see your dilemma and I have to confess I would prefer an Autumn term baby too. DD is old in her year and would have found starting school at just 4 very hard.

I think it all boils down to just how important it is to you (and your DP) that you don't have a child that's very young in their school year. If you aren't going to feel fully excited and enthusiastic about ttc in December then maybe Jan would be better?

On the other hand, if you were very lucky and conceived straight away in Dec, there is also every chance your baby would be on time or late. However much you try to plan things, you are very much at the hands of fate when it comes to ttc. I think that is what can make it such a scary business (especially if you are someone that is used to planning and being in control)

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 21:21:24

Should also add, I think we are going to start trying again (casually) this month, even though that could lead to an August baby. When all is said and done, I just want a pregnancy that sticks and a take-home baby at the end of it.

I thought I'd have to wait a cycle after my tetanus booster but that doesn't seem to be the case because it isn't a live vaccine.

LondonSuperTrooper Sun 11-Nov-12 22:03:53

Hello & welcome swede

bridget where about in Surrey are you? And good luck with TTC..... i'm getting excited now!

LYFEMB please don't worry, December is just round the corner.

amiready In surrey the school year cut off is on 1st Sept. And I'm not TTC to fit in with the school system. I already have a July baby and he's pretty bright so have had no problem in being the 3rd youngest in class..... albeit it took a while to settle into the reception year. However, by the October half term he was absolutely fine. I'm delaying TTC until we have moved into our new house. Last time i was preg, I miscarried and I'm determined to take it easy this time round. All I want is a healthy baby, regardless of the month it's born in smile

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 22:23:01

Just asked DP whereabouts in Surrey we are (I'm pretty chronic at geography, for example I thought Durham was in Scotland until I was 18!) and he replied.....

"North-east.......the poor bit"

Ho hum, at least we haven't got ideas above our station.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 22:26:21

Oh, just thought I'd better clarify, I do know where I live, just not where in the county it lies...

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 11-Nov-12 22:32:53

A last thought before I climb the wooden hill, would it be that awful to take my driving test when pregnant?

Did anyone else take forever to learn? (I'm 18 months and counting)

lollyshmollypop Mon 12-Nov-12 01:10:51

Hello everyone, I missed quite a lot in the last few days ! Great to see new faces joining in smile
My DH has just recovered from his terrible flue so no TTC this month for mesad anyway... nice to hear people enjoying the trees, the colours are fantastic, arent they!
AF is supposed to come for a visit in ten days time and then TTC I hope [ wink]
Going to go away for a long weekend in Europe to celebrate wedding anniversary around ovulation time, so will have plenty of time TTC, fx
How is everyone getting on? Any news yet? Any BFP on our thread??

lollyshmollypop Mon 12-Nov-12 01:15:29

It took me 5 yearsBridget , well took a break from learning for 5 years.shock I did it, driving, after my DS was 11 m.o. Got tired of going to town by bus, or waiting for DH to drive me, Which he hated doing. I had a baby brain, whilst PG, so did not even try to attempt, my brain was like a colander with big holesshock anyway, anything is possible if you put your mind to it, so best of luck!! Better do it now than later , when you are sleep deprivedsmile

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 12-Nov-12 06:41:09

Go for it bridget! V.exciting!

jazzcat28 Mon 12-Nov-12 11:45:40

Hi ladies

Have namechanged from my previous username of 2+years as it's not really appropriate for me anymore.... now that DH and I have finally set a date to TTC!

We are hoping to jump on the just shagging wagon in May/June 2013, although my current pill packets run out early March, so we may start a little earlier (if I can persuade DH wink)

It's so exciting - we got married a few months ago and it just feels so right after over 8 years of being together to start our own little family. We could get going now if it wasn't for the fact we want to clear our credit cards first (so we can put aside money to fund ML).

So my first question is, can you take folic acid whilst still on the pill? I was thinking of taking it from the new year onwards?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 12-Nov-12 12:21:53

Hello jazzcat, congratulations on becoming a Mrs and welcome to the waiting thread (it may be slightly pointless but it's very friendly). Can't see any problem with taking folic acid whilst still on the pill...

LoveYouForever - I'm not sure if your last post relates to driving or shagging? But I'll do my best with both wink

lollyshmolly - you are so, so right, better now than later. I just find it so frustrating as I'm about 90% there but the last 10% is just not clicking into place. Think my instructor is getting fed-up with me too. Sorry to hear DP is only just better (sounds like he was genuinely too poorly to perform!). However, your trip sounds so romantic envy and the perfect timing too. Fingers crossed x

My exciting news for today is that Sanatogen have changed their packaging for their "mum to be" tablets - all bright pink and funky now! Interestingly they now also mention Vitamin D on the front of the box too.

I know I'm paying vastly over the odds for a named product but I'm a sucker when it comes to this sort of thing. Just brought lil-lets towels for the first time because they come in a pretty draw-string bag!!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 12-Nov-12 13:06:25

bridget my last post refers to ttc now instead of waiting til Dec (claps hands in excitement for you) have to admit I'm slightly jealous as I would love to be ttc right now, but have to keep reminding myself Dec is only next month....hopefully it won't be long for neither of all before we get that bfp!

SeriousStuff Mon 12-Nov-12 14:03:03

Very sad but so happy I found this thread! My DH and I have just decided to TTC for our first in January. Have started taking folic acid and vit D and so excited at the prospect of seeing what happens. I have bursts of excitement about it but don't want to discuss it with anyone else I know. I'm enjoying it being our secret at the moment...

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 12-Nov-12 14:07:19

Good luck with ttc in jan seriousstuff and welcome to the thread!

SeriousStuff Mon 12-Nov-12 14:07:39

...forgot to add that we thought Jan would be a good time so at least now I'll get to eat pâté and brie, and drink mulled wine over Christmas! Have I got my priorities wrong here?!

SeriousStuff Mon 12-Nov-12 14:08:59

Thank you LoveYouForeverMyBaby !!

setayharas Mon 12-Nov-12 14:10:28

can i join this thread??? this is our first month ttc.
hoping it happens damn quick as folic acid is making me so nauseas.
2 weeks until we can do our first test. how on earth am i meant to wait that long i already feel like im having every sympton under the sun lol stupid imagination

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 12-Nov-12 14:10:57

Eat all the forbidden foods and booze now! I was desperate for sushi and Brie when I was pg!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 12-Nov-12 14:11:54

Of course setay good luck with your 2ww, keep us posted!

SeriousStuff Mon 12-Nov-12 14:39:50

LoveYouForeverMyBaby I forgot about sushi! Man!

Even though we haven't even started ttc yet, I'm already more aware of what I'm eating and drinking and I have been consuming less alcohol and coffee without realising. Maybe I'm just aware of all the diet choices I will have to make in future or I feel that I want to be as fit an healthy as possible before conceiving. I'm already exercising more than usual as I want to be as active as possible during pregnancy.

Anyone else finding that they're more aware of their bodies or habits even before ttc?

mumwithbumandtum Mon 12-Nov-12 16:34:35

< Hello everyone - sliding in with a large wave >

Loving this very amusing thread - thought I'd introduce myself as we're going to be officially TTC as of NOW (got my period today so that's it, we're off!) Might not try too hard until after Christmas but as I'm 34 we ought to be cracking on a little bit. I am SO excited and feel this wonderful anticipation of the future :-) Nice to meet you all and GOOD LUCK xx

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 12-Nov-12 19:09:08

Hello SeriousStuff, yep I'm on a health kick too...<quickly stuffs empty Kit-Kat wrappers under a cushion and hides my growing nose> Unfortunately I'm full of good intentions but weak willed!

Welcome mumwithbumandtum - now there's a chat nickname I can relate to!

Winterpansy - any news on the job front? Still got my fingers crossed you get those interviews.

Tigerseye - how are you and loopy lurcher getting on? BridgetDog is currently in my good books (but sure it won't last long!)

MrsWajs Mon 12-Nov-12 19:38:41

2ww is going pretty well so far thanks bridget really just trying to ignore it if I'm honest, I spent a year when TTC DD getting myself all worked up every month so am determined not to do it this time around well at least not until i've been trying a bit longer anyway.

As for driving, it took me 2 years to learn! I was hopeless!! So 18 months isn't too bad!

Leafmould Mon 12-Nov-12 19:47:59

Hi everyone! Nice to see lots of new people. Am just on quickly before I put the kids to bed, and need to say, from bitter experience Bridget, get your license first! I did my test 3 times whilst pg, and failed miserably, then I did it when dd was about 6 or 7 weeks old, and passed no problem. If you are finding it hard to get that final 10 percent now, it will be much more challenging when you are pg, and like lolly shmolly pop says, it's great to be able to jump into the car to run errands instead of getting buggies on buses, etc. I wouldn't manage to do the kids swimming lessons and stuff without a car either, especially in winter.

Good luck!

jazzcat28 Mon 12-Nov-12 21:03:55

Thanks for the warm welcome!

Very excited about things to come (see what I did there) and this thread is just what I need to vent all my waiting to TTC anguish so I don't come across as a crazy lady in RL!

What random DC-related things have you/your DH/DP done since deciding to start TTC?

I'll open the floor with:

Getting all 'aww they're cute' at an episode of Outnumbered

Checking out if there are any pills for men to take to help conceive

Both of us getting very hacked off when yet another friend puts up their scan on Facebook

But the most crazy one..

Choosing how many chairs to buy last weekend with our new table 'for all our children' ... The salesman genuinely thought we had a football team and seemed most shocked when DH smiled and said oh no we haven't even got a bump yet

SeriousStuff Mon 12-Nov-12 22:07:07

jazzcat28 Definitely!

My DH has started taking folic acid after we read that it can improve fertility and the quality of swimmers!

We were planning on taking my family down to where my DH comes from (as they've never been) over Easter next year and suddenly we're talking about how amazing it would be if we were PG by then so we could tell mine and his family all at the same time.

We've also started discussing how we can get our dog used to prams, as he absolutely hates them!

Also suddenly started looking at how much cheaper baby clothes are on ebay...

This is such a great outlet to discuss these things, as you do start thinking you're getting way ahead of yourself!

mumwithbumandtum good luck to you too!!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 12-Nov-12 23:40:05

Leafmould - I've got my driving test booked for mid February (highly unlikely I'll be upduffed by then). I'll do my best to pull my finger out and crack that last 10%.

Hmmm, tough question jazzcat ...I suppose it is rather daft that every time AF shows up I work out the hypothetical due date of a baby conceived this cycle (sometimes I even do this more than once, allowing for different possible ovulation dates, and even on months when we are taking a break from ttc).

Oh SeriousStuff, please do tell me more about your pooch? I didn't have a dog when DD arrived and I have to confess I am more worried about coping with a dog and a baby, than with DD and a baby!

LondonSuperTrooper - have we missed your birthday? If so, I hope it was a good one and many happy belated returns. Is your DS in Yr 1 now, like my DD?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Tue 13-Nov-12 06:42:54

jazzcat you can buy the vitabiotics vitamins for men to help sperm quality (i think) when ttc.

Am so ready to be pg more af to go.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 13-Nov-12 07:14:59

Good morning LoveYouForever - you're up and posting early, have a good day. Soon you'll be really busy with Christmas related stuff, so time will fly by.

I'm dying for a pee but DP is hogging the bathroom - using mumsnet as a distraction technique but gosh I'm bursting...

Don't think I'd ever get DP to take extra vits..

LondonSuperTrooper Tue 13-Nov-12 10:18:56

LMAFO @ bridget What are you like woman!! I hope that you got to the loo without any accidents wink Also, best of luck with your driving. And don't forget to think positively.

Yes, it was my birthday a couple of weeks ago. I had a lovely time with my family. How on earth did you know that though?! And yes, my DS is in Year 1 same as your DD.

My DH refuses to take any supplement for TTC. He keeps saying that he doesn't need it angry

I also have been obsessing over my potential DD - I keep shifting our holiday to Disneyland around as I think to myself that I may have my scan around that date and whether I may need to have an amnio etc. Speaking of which, those of us who ahem (cough, splutter) older mothers, have any of you thought about antental screening?

A big hello to everyone else.

Sorelip Tue 13-Nov-12 11:10:14

A flying visit here, I HATE having no internet at home! I saw my GP today and over the next 4 weeks am going to wean myself off of ADs. I'm having a blood test tomorrow (underactive thyroid, but also checking cholesterol etc) and a colposcopy is booked for mid December, so we will be TTCing after I get the results of the colposcopy, which will probably be in January. It gives me time to lose the last few pounds to get to a healthy BMI, and build up my folic acid levels.

I hope everyone is doing well and looking after themselves!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 13-Nov-12 13:41:45

Hi Sorelip, even if it's just a brief visit, it's lovely to catch-up with you.

Congrats on being ready to come off the ADs - I hope the transition goes smoothly and you are kind to yourself over the next few weeks. Fingers crossed for your forthcoming tests too, I hope you get the results you want.

Best of luck for January - sounds like you are going to be ship-shape and ready to ttc very soon.

SeriousStuff Tue 13-Nov-12 16:40:44

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands He is a 2.5 year old border collie. We got him as a rescue puppy, he was the runt of the litter, kept in a shed with no interaction so he has every anxiety issue going. He has definitely improved with age and has a wonderful nature when happy and calm.

But we have had incidents where he has run off after prams and circled them for 5mins before being distracted by something else. He isn't aggressive, but obviously if you're a parent and a strange dog suddenly starts circling your child in its pram, it's not great...

We don't spoil him but he is a proper 1st child and will no doubt feel very hard done by once a baby comes on the scene!

Good luck Sorelip! I hope all your tests come back clear. Funny how a PG test is the only medical test you will ever wish and pray will come back positive...

Swedeheeed Tue 13-Nov-12 18:58:24

Thanks for the warm welcome smile
Bridget I'm still learning to drive..keep having breaks as so tired with work!
Have done a meditation course- supposed to be good when pg!

mumwithbumandtum Tue 13-Nov-12 19:09:44

Good point about the antenatal screening supertrooper, do you know what age is deemed to be 'geriatric'?? I have the feeling it is as young as 34...? Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, and good luck!

winterpansy Tue 13-Nov-12 20:27:30

Evening all.
How's it going everyone?

bridget I have an interview for tomorrow (thank you for asking!) - for a job I threw in a CV for and didn't even really want! So, I'll go along and see what the deal is. Nice to get an interview in this day and age. Still no word from the other two jobs though. How are you doing?

Hope all the 2wwers are remaining calm and collected grin

I think AF is on the way for me. This one has been a 34 day cycle so not as bad as usual. This means only one more AF after this before we TTC hopefully..arrggg...really, really want to be pregnant again now! One of my best friends is 24 weeks and I am having such fun being excited with her about it all. We've both got our fingers crossed that I am upduffed by the time she pops in March!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 13-Nov-12 22:19:33

Oh winterpansy that is fabulous news! I hope they want you and, even more importantly, you want the job. Now <puts on bossy maternal voice> no staying up late mumsnetting, you need a good night's sleep for tomorrow! Best of luck x

SeriousStuff your dog sounds lovely and very lucky to have owners that are willing to help him overcome his rubbish start in life. I know in lots of ways having a dog doesn't compare to having a child, but blinking heck it's a good way to prepare you for the incidents of public embarrassment that come with parenthood. Having dealt with people's reactions to a pram circling dog, a full-on toddler tantrum whilst out and about will be water off a duck's back.

Yay Swede a fellow learner (gosh, I feel like hugging you - please say you're over thirty five too) What is your Achilles heel? I can't master reversing around a left-hand corner.....hmmm, I also hate lane changing, roundabouts and driving in anything higher than third gear. I'd happily pootle around in second all lesson if my instructor would let me (who cares if the engine is complaining loudly at me).

London - very glad you had a good birthday. Don't worry I'm not stalking you; you mentioned it in one of your earlier posts and it stuck in my mind because my birthday is soon too (I do hope that isn't a sign of an egotistical personality). You'll be pleased to know I managed to hold on this morning but it did get to a point where my bladder was actually really hurting.

Antenatal screening is something I have very mixed feelings about. I suppose I'll just have the standard tests they offer and, fingers crossed, won't need anything more. I really don't know what I'd do if faced with difficult choices. I have a brother with special needs, so I have conflicting feelings about it all.

I guess having my miscarriage (as well as getting older) has also made me think about it a bit more. Quite a few people, in misguided attempt to be kind, told me that there was probably something wrong with the baby. This didn't make me feel better.

DP is finally home, better log out and show some interest in him..

riskit4abiskit Tue 13-Nov-12 23:12:39

Hi again everyone, been really busy at work so just checking in. Had last pill andexpec some weird side effects but none so far.

I see I share a love of the apprentice and outnumbered with people on here!

Hi to all the new people and hope everyone is keeping well. Xmas shopping can keep our minds offTTC Iif we are waiting for a while!

Leafmould Wed 14-Nov-12 10:37:03

mrs wajs ttc#2 now
flowers for tea sooner than she thought!
Stick the kettle on age 40 ttc#3 next week!
peeohayess ttc#2 not actively, but.......
Larty74 ttc #2
setayharas  November 
mumbumtum age 34 November 

loveyouforever ttc #2 in December
riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
cunningplan  December
familyguyfan  ttc#2 soon
sloeginfizz  December
london supertrooper  age 38 ttc#2 December
bridget&hb  age 35 ttc#2 December
jaffacakehips  ttc#2 dec/jan
lollyshmollypop  #2 December
mumaaaah  ttc#2 mid December
DejaB00   age 33 ttc #2 December
loulou the shamed age 29 ttc#2 dec/jan
swedeheeed December

After Xmas
whyriskit   ttc#3 after Xmas 
notyouagain   #2 after Xmas 
amiready  ttc#1 after Xmas

Winterpansy   ttc #2 jan/feb
notwinkies ttc#2 january
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
tothemoon ttc#1 January
mrs spencer Reid ttc #2 January
2beornot ttc #2 new year
Mika2 age 31 ttc #1 after getting promoted! (fx)
serious stuff ttc#1 January 
sorelip ttc#2 

crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
accidental exhibitionist ttc#2 February

batfish ttc#1 march

Zen nudist age 34 ttc #2 April/may?
caramal ttc#2 hopefully April.
justcait age 35 ttc#1 April 

leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
jazzcat28 ttc#1 may/June 

part1 ttc#2 August

Porridge with almond milk

Once again, just say if I've got you wrong!

Leafmould Wed 14-Nov-12 10:47:19

Hi everyone. . . It's my day off today! Hurray! Thought I was doing some extra work for an agency today, but the booking never came through. Not sure how I feel about this, as I thought I was trying to work more hours, but really struggle to keep on top of running the household [ha] if I work everyday.

What are people thinking with regard to going back to work? Are people planning to be SAHM? Or carry on working? Do you think you will carry on full time or reduce hours. Sorry if this is a tough topic for job seekers.

With regards to the tests: do they offer you amniocentesis after a certain age? I don't know if I would go for it or not. My feeling would be not, but I guess I would consider the perspective of my partner at the time. I don't think I would want to discuss that with him at this point, because ttc is still so far away [sigh]

I think I would try to get a nuchal translucency scan though. I didn't have that for my previous pregnancies because I booked late. When is it done?

Silly things we have done: made a baby names short list on mn! I can't believe how daft this is, but we have already short listed a couple of boys names, but not agreeing on any girls names.

Hope everyone has a good day today.

ChicMama25 Wed 14-Nov-12 11:09:03

Even more pointless for me as I need to wait at least another 18 months to get our finances sorted as cant afford the career sacrifices at the moment nor childcare for a second one (dd is nearly 8 but I pay a lot for childcare as I work long hours full time) but I really really want a babyyyy!! Good luck y'all x

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 14-Nov-12 11:28:12

I'm going to be a ft working mum, if we are lucky to have number 2 I would like to do 3-4 days a week.

We've already picked our boys and girls names blush

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 14-Nov-12 11:29:57

chicmama you're welcome to obsess with us in the meantime!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 14-Nov-12 11:32:45

Okay so we have agreed to officially ttc in Dec but I really want to start now dh wants to wait til next month...interestingly hes stopped using condoms....should I say anything or not remind him??

SeriousStuff Wed 14-Nov-12 11:35:28

Leafmould I would say that list is still accurate from my point of view, ignoring the fact that we DTD last night without a care in the world!

Also, work wise, I'm very luckily that I own my own company and can do all of my work from home if need be, so I'm hoping that I can pick and choose how much I do and when. Although, planning on taking as much maternity as possible. Great news for dads yesterday too - that maybe by the time I'm PG, my DH will be able to take more paternity than the current 2 weeks.

I guess you'll know what to do when the time comes - one of my friends was desperate to go back to work after having thought she'd want to stay at home.

As for the amniocentesis, I have strong personal views about this and will be steering clear of it. I have heard so many stories of women being forced into having it done then scared into a reaction. My aunt and one of my best friends both have downs syndrome, and they are two of the most interesting and wonderful people I know. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand most people's views on having it done but I guess it depends on your own experiences and I have seen that downs syndrome especially is no barrier to having as 'normal' a life as possible. (whatever 'normal' is!!)

ChicMama25 Wed 14-Nov-12 12:10:57

Just wrote my post out for the second time getting "unable to connect" angry

Oh well. Trying again!

Think Mr. Chic would be a little nervous if he read my post! I know it is not the right time just yet but 18m doesn't seem that far away and I am very excited for our future as a family of four (and DP's first child). He is such an amazing stepdad to my dd and I can't wait to have his babies grin

Ideally I would like to keep my current job after dc2 but only work 4 days pw. However I work in the City so this might be a bit of a culture shock for my employers

Mythreeknights Wed 14-Nov-12 12:21:36

I've just changed my nickname from mumwithbumandtum to reflect my WONDERFUL family (2 DSs and DH) and the fact that as I'm not yet upduffed I cannot really complain about my figure (which is a nice size 10). I agree about the tests - really would rather not have any. With DS2 I was in such shock about being pg (unplanned) that it was too late by the time I booked in, to have any more invasive tests so I don't think we had even the nuchal scan (could that be right?) I just wanted to ask a completely unrelated question - has anyone had any tingling hands since becoming mums? A bit random, but thought I'd ask.

LondonSuperTrooper Wed 14-Nov-12 12:30:38

Hi all,

Just a quick post.

leafmould thank you so much for the list. It's wonderful seeing everything in black and white. Should I mention that I am now 39 and not 38 years old wink

Reg screening, it's an emotive subject and everyone feels differently. I think it's offered for anyone over 36-37 years old? I am hoping to have the nuchal scan as it's offered by Surrey PCT. I will most likely have an amnio as I have my DS to consider and the impact on his life once both my DH and I are gone.

And I will carry on working full time. Unfortunately we can't give up my salary just yet.

Will be back later for a proper read.

Sorelip Wed 14-Nov-12 12:50:22

I'll be a SAHM until I've completed my OU degree, which will be in about 6 years time, then I have no idea what will happen. Maybe DH will cut down to part time work and I'll go FT.

We DTD yesterday with no protection, so I think DH wants me upduffed asap. Irresponsible of me I know.

LondonSuperTrooper Wed 14-Nov-12 12:52:57

sorelip but you are TTC 2 months early. Will that cause problems?

Sorelip Wed 14-Nov-12 12:56:43

I don't think so, I'll be off of the ADs within 4 weeks, but we'll be using condoms from now on. Fingers crossed his sperm don't hit the mark just yet!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 14-Nov-12 13:13:16

LoveYouForever - I'd say nothing, no reminders at all!! He may be trying to engineer an 'accidental' pregnancy and it would be a shame to spoil his fun. Plus... and i'm probably giving away too much personal info here...when I was in the same situation, I found the 'will there or won't there be a condom moment' added a certain extra frisson to proceedings.. (which, to be frank, was very welcome after a decade together wink)

Seriously though, you have had loads of discussions with him about ttc, so he must deep down know exactly what he is doing. Especially if he has always been careful in the past.

SeriousStuff, I think last night must have been thread shag night. I made a half jokey comment to DP as we got into bed about how on earth will I ever conceive given the horrendous hours he works...and he proceeded to demonstrate exactly how it'll be done blush I have to hand it to DP, he may be a man of few words (and drive me mad) but sometimes he knows precisely what to 'say'.

It was a slightly pointless shag though (in both senses) as way, way too early in my cycle for those swimmers to achieve anything. I don't think my follicles are even awake at this stage.

Leafmould - thank you for the list, you are a star. I suppose technically I should be in November, but please leave me in December as my heart lies there. This is just a warm-up cycle for me and I pledged to be one of LoveYou's ttc buddies way back up the thread.

I will remain a SAHM for the foreseeable future - I could write an essay on how this decision was reached but this post is long enough already. How do you guys manage to be so precise? V jealous!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 14-Nov-12 13:19:37

Cor blimey! Just seen the last posts. Last night was busy...wasn't there a full moon?

SeriousStuff Wed 14-Nov-12 13:26:24

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands It's funny, I guess once you've discussed the intention to have a baby, an early 'accident' doesn't seem so bad anymore...

However, for me, I've got roughly 14-15 days before AF arrives so I may well be ovulating right now. Time will tell...

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 14-Nov-12 13:28:26

MythreeKnights* - Sorry, I don't have tingling hands or a nice size ten figure envy I would very, very gladly have tingling hands in exchange for a size ten figure though!l

winterpansy Wed 14-Nov-12 13:41:17

Some of you have been busy overnight! My DH was on shift work starting from 5am so there was none of that in my house, I can tell you!

Just reading the posts there about screening. I was offered the quadruple test when I was pregnant and took it. If anything had been thrown up it would not have changed anything but I felt that forewarned was forearmed, as they say.

In terms of work, I went down to compressed hours over 4 days when I returned from maternity leave so I get 1 day off with DS. I had to really,really fight to get it and originally wanted to do 30 hours but had to negotiate a rather crap deal. I supposed a good thing is that I get a full time wage. If I get the job I went for today they are happy for me to do 4 days and the other 2 I have applied for are part-time. If I'm still in this place then I'll ask for 30 hours again. One can hope!

bridget the interview went really well! The people were really nice and I got on with them well. It's a totally different sector than what I am working in now and I would say that was their only concern but I think I answered their concerns well enough. We shall see! The good thing is that it would be walkable from my house..and the primary school we want to send DS to is on the way so it would be handy. Not that I'm getting ahead of myself of course...

MrsWajs Wed 14-Nov-12 15:43:51

Well i caved today and bought 2 hpts in tesco!! Still not testing yet though smile

I think the nuchal scan is usually done between 11-13 or 13-15 weeks? Can't quite remember and i could be wrong but that rings a bell. I didn't have it last time as my nhs trust didn't offer it. They do now though so i will probably have it next time round.

Re: work, i reduced to 30 hours/4 days a week after having DD. Currently having a mental debate about what to do after no. 2. I originally said i would drop another day to 22.5 hours but worry how we would cope financially. Need to take into consideration nursery fees plus the impact on my parents too as they do most of my child care at the moment (while also working ft) and my mum has already said she won't manage a baby and a toddler! Hoping that it all falls into place and that DD has 3 funded nursery days by time no 2 arrives!!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 14-Nov-12 16:22:54

Oh no Bridget don't worry about being my ttc in dec buddy! Go for it now! If dh allowed it I definitely would! Plus there's plenty of other ttc-ers on here to obsess with smile

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 14-Nov-12 16:25:07

bridget I agree, I think I'll keep my mouth shut and not remind him. Not sure whether he's just being lazy or not too fussed, but don't see how 1 month earlier woud make a huge difference, so here's hoping!

NoTwinkies Wed 14-Nov-12 17:00:28

Hello! It's been a while. We just moved and still have no internet at home. Welcome to all those who have joined the thread and Good Luck to those who have already started trying!
Well I've been worrying even more lately about the impending TTC. My friend had a baby this October and she told me how busy it was in the hospital. Apparently it's baby boom month due to people enjoying festive nudity drunken bareback copulation or planning TTC in the new year. I don't want to worry others on this thread who are also planning to try in January. I guess the reason I joined the thread is because I need somewhere to vent my crazy so I don't land it all on DH (we're not telling other people our plans).
I'm also a little anxious because DD is hard work at the moment - answering back, tantrums and general disobedience (but only really when she's with me). She's 2 and half so I'm hoping it's just the terrible twos and that the prospect of a new baby brother/sister may have a positive effect. I always wondered, when watching Supernanny, why people would continue to have more children when the previous ones were badly behaved. The thing is we really want another child and would feel our family was incomplete if we didn't and we'd really like our DD to have a sibling. So I guess we have to throw ourselves into it and hope for the best!

Pre-conception planning:
We've been discussing girls names since our DD was born. Still set on the boys name we liked before.
I made a list of potential Conception-Due months and worked out what events might fall when during pregnancy.

Ps. Will change my name in a minute. brb

jaffacakehips Wed 14-Nov-12 17:07:19

Hello hello....anyone remember me. blush

Life has taken over here, DD ill, DH ill (hospital and everything) DD ill again whist I've been soldering on grin
DH out tonight so I'll be able to read the whole thread and catch up.

Had 2 whoops already, feeling bloody knackered at the moment so I'm either up the duff unlikely given the last year or I'm coming down with a bug confused

BourbonsAndTea Wed 14-Nov-12 17:11:01

Ta daa!! Formerly known as NoTwinkies (a Zombieland reference for Halloween)
I meant to say in my previous post Leafmould you are awesome for sorting out the list. It's nice to see us all written up.
I think when it gets to January I'll join a TTC thread but will also stick around here too to keep up with everyone. Looking forward to our first BFP grin

BourbonsAndTea Wed 14-Nov-12 17:16:04

Hi Jaffacakehips! Would you like to trade a Jaffa Cake for a Bourbon?
Sorry to hear your family are not feeling well at the moment. Are you hoping the Whoops' will lead to a BFP this month?

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 14-Nov-12 18:00:24

Hi all, just a quick post before I run Mini Bridget's bath..

Hurrah Winterpansy - that's great news! Fingers firmly crossed for you here. All this waiting, whether it is to ttc or to hear from employers, must be torture)

MrsWajs you are a stronger woman than me - I cannot have hpts in the house and not pee on them. Even multi-packs get used up just for the hell of it.

LoveYouForever don't worry, December is my true 'go for it' month for emotionally reasons (all tied up with my miscarriage). It just seems weird to use contraception in the meantime because I'm getting older and we do want a baby.

Jaffacake of course I remember you (your nickname set off major jaffa cake cravings) So sorry to hear of your DD's and DH's illnesses - I bet you have been run ragged trying to care for them both. Impressed you still managed a few 'whoops' moments though wink

Hello to ChicMama and welcome back B&T and riskit

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 14-Nov-12 19:01:51

Just want to say I love this thread smile

Zedds Wed 14-Nov-12 21:54:20

Hi everyone, please can I join this too? We will be ttc from January - we have been married for just over a year and have been hanging on to sort out financial stuff. Now the time is getting close to start trying, it is all starting to feel very real! I have been taking folic acid for a couple of months. I just want to get on with it now!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 14-Nov-12 22:04:31

Welcome zedds!

lollyshmollypop Wed 14-Nov-12 23:21:59

Just a quick one, before i catch up reading all the posts i missed:

Happy birthday supertrooper wine hope you have a nice one!
well done, [Bridget] for booking your test,you will be just fine, I am surewink
Yes, my DH was really suffering poor soul, butnthis holiday is coming at the right time, hopefully will make a baby theresmile

jazzcat28 Thu 15-Nov-12 09:19:48

Struggling big time today. A colleague just showed me pics of his new granddaughter, who is named the name which I have already picked out for my PFB (assuming it's a girl).

Did a bit of number crunching last night and worked out that we could just about manage if we fell pg earlier than planned (i.e. started TTC in March instead of June) so I might discuss this with DH over the weekend.

My boss has put me forward for a promotion and a pay rise, which is great, but all I can think about is that I'm going to have time off sometime in the next 12-15 months!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 15-Nov-12 09:58:58

Jazzcat - I'm just flying out of the door, so will reply properly later, but in the meantime have a sneaky unmumsnetty hug and chin-up. Well done on being put forward for the promotion, that's great news!

Hello there zedds

SeriousStuff Thu 15-Nov-12 10:18:53

Quick question - have any of you felt sick or nauseous since starting taking folic acid? My stomach hasn't felt right and I feel sick at different times during the day.

Quite annoying as there's now way I can or will stop taking them. Maybe I should look at it as good training for morning sickness...

I'm not PG, before anyone suggests this!

jazzcat28 Thu 15-Nov-12 10:35:30

Thanks Bridget I know it's silly really. In all honesty we could probably start TTC now but my brain is currently ruling my heart as I know it's better for us to be in a better financial position before we get going. Many other families get by on much less but as I want to take a full year off and I'm currently the main breadwinner it makes sense to plan the finances a bit.

Sooo frustrating as a close friend is pg now too and it'd be great to be off on ML together.

jazzcat28 Thu 15-Nov-12 10:45:33

By the way, does anyone know how much child benefit currently pays per week? And other than maternity pay are there any other sources of income for new mums on ML?

If I can make the finances stack up DH might be persuaded to start earlier...

TryingToConceiveSharply Thu 15-Nov-12 10:51:54

Hi Ladies,

Ok, so I hope you can squeeeeeeezzze me into this thread. Im 23 and got married June 2012. We are going to start TTC our 1st baby from January 2013. :-) However we did have unprotected sex on Monday (but I doubt that would have done much as, from what I have seen online it usually takes at least a month of trying)! Although I do think that I may have been ovulating at the time.

We were going to wait a couple of years for our first but I am just starting a Law degree and I work full time so I thought that I would have the baby (fingers crossed that all goes to plan) during the early stages. Im not 100% sure whether I will go back to work part time after, but we will be sure to figure it out in time.

Good luck to you all, I am hoping that years on the pill, ( came on in December 2010 but went back on for 2 months in May this year) wont be too mych of a hinderance. - What do you think?

TryingToConceiveSharply Thu 15-Nov-12 10:55:09

P.S - should I be taking Folic Acid yet?

TryingToConceiveSharply Thu 15-Nov-12 10:57:17

@ jazzcat28 - Aparently the Citizens Advice B. can answer all those questions and let you know how much of any form of additional income you may be entitiled to according to how your financial situation will be at the time.... hope that will help ya :-) - when are you going to TTC?

SeriousStuff Thu 15-Nov-12 11:11:37

TryingToConceiveSharply welcome to the group! Yes, it seems conception can take a very long time (I've seen some threads on here discussing upwards of 10 years!) but hopefully we'll all have fun trying!

As for folic acid, I've read in a number of places that ideally, you should be taking it up to 3 months before conceiving then for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. So if you're starting to TTC in Jan, you can definitely start taking them now. This might help

jazzcat28 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:34:54

Trying I am currently looking at when exactly we can start. DH had agreed that May/June would be good based on our plans for our finances, but I'm keen to get cracking as soon as I can!

Good luck with your efforts, I've been told by my nurse to start taking frolic acid up to 3 months before TTC but she also said if not actively planning for a baby then take it as soon as you know you're pg. I'm going to start taking it in the new year but maybe sooner if we decide to jump on the TTC sooner

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 15-Nov-12 12:50:06

SeriousStuff - no folic acid related nausea here. Although some months I do feel queasy as part and parcel of a lovely bundle of PMS symptoms. All of which seem cruelly designed to mimic early pregnancy as much as possible and turn me into a symptom spotting crazy lady!

All you taking your tablet with food? Is it pure folic acid or a combined supplement? Maybe worth playing around at bit...

Jazzcat don't worry about the name. The relationship between your colleague's granddaughter and your potential daughter is pretty tenuous, so no-one will bat an eyelid if they have the same name. Furthermore, your colleague is a bloke - generally stuff like that isn't on their radar (sorry if that's being sexist).

If you want, you could make a few casual comments about what a lovely name it is, and how it's had special significance to you for years and years (pretend it was your great, great aunt's or something..) That way your interest in the name publicly pre-dates the granddaughter's arrival. Personally, I wouldn't bother, just name your baby whatever you want.

I do understand how funny little things like that can knock you though..human emotions are truly weird and wonderful...

Hello TTCSharply, plonk your bum down on a squashy bean bag and make yourself at home. Yep, ttc can take ages, but it can also be mega quick too. I conceived DD first month trying but #2 (6 years later) is taking much, much longer. It's a bit of a lottery really, but your age is definitely in your favour <I feel like an old wrinkly hag in comparison - please be kind to me and don't mention it too often!>

LoveYouForever - I have a soft spot for this thread too and I think repeatedly typing your nickname is having some strange subliminal effect on me.

lollyshmollypop you really are a night owl poster - how come you are wake so late?

jaffacakehips Thu 15-Nov-12 13:28:15

OMG I would never ever trade a Jaffa cake for a veryyyyyy dare you grin cream or chocolate?

I have been feeling so so tried..if our whoops does lead to a bpf that would be lovely, however DH won't be too thrilled with a August baby for the whole school thing. Anyway we have been trying ttc for over a year, so frankly DH can shove his stupid reasoning grin

I'm sorry to hear that some of you are having tough times, fingers and toes crossed.

jazzcat28 Thu 15-Nov-12 13:48:08

Thanks Bridget

I know there's no real connection between my colleague's GC and my future DC, it just bought it all home to me how much I want to start my family and how frustrated I am about waiting!

Might have to just seize the day over Christmas and get on with it. Who knows we might not even be lucky the first couple of months, but at least we can have fun trying grin

TigerseyeMum Thu 15-Nov-12 16:43:06

Hello ladies <waves> I have been AWOL with university coursework and have had virtually no sleep since last week.

I have not caught up, hope everyone is ok.

3 days to go to the end of the packet. Bit poorly with endo pain, think my ovarian cysts are back sad trying to stay positive though.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 15-Nov-12 17:38:18

I tried to convince do to let us start ttc this morning (think I ovulate next week) but he is adamant about dec.....we almost had an arguement over it, so I think it's best I just accept we're not going to start trying til next month. Think my period is due 6/7th Dec, then after that we can start trying, so not the longest wit and don't think it's worth arguing over.


Hopefully he'll continue to not use condoms...I'm sure as hell not going to remind him to!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 15-Nov-12 17:38:53

Should read dh not do

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 15-Nov-12 17:39:49

tigerseye keep positive and keeping fingers crossed for you it's not your cysts reoccurring.

TigerseyeMum Thu 15-Nov-12 17:44:47

Thank you! Will see what happens when I go back to natural periods ( dreading it!)

I feel sick all the time but it's worse in the morning, assumed it was the cysts but maybe it's the folic acid?

flowersfortea Thu 15-Nov-12 18:38:48

Hello everyone, just catching up on all the posts! Hasn't time gone quickly already half way through November....!

Serious I've been fine on the folic acid but some preparations like Pregnacare recommend taking it with or after food, might help.

TMI alert - but think that I might have ovulated first cycle off the pill (EWCM but can't remember how it used to be prior to going on the pill) so fingers crossed and going to pounce on inform DH later :-)

SeriousStuff Thu 15-Nov-12 18:40:25

TigerseyeMum It might well be the folic acid (see my previous post).

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands I take it with my breakfast. Before I was feeling sick in the morning only but today, it's been all day! But I do feel better whilst I'm eating...annoyingly!

TigerseyeMum Thu 15-Nov-12 21:11:43

I didn't have nausea when I was on it before. It's very odd if it is. If I see my GP I will ask her about it.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 15-Nov-12 21:43:12

Hello Tigerseye <huge wave back> I hope your uni workload is now lighter and you can finally get some decent sleep. Are you studying something you are passionate about?

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling too good and I hope your concerns about the impact coming off the pill may have do not materialise. Would having the endo treatment you mentioned in an earlier post severely disrupt your plans to ttc? (sorry if that is a stupid question)

LoveYouForever - our cycles are pretty much in sync at the mo (AF due 6th Dec) It'll be interesting to see how long that lasts though as my cycle is usually 27/28 days but can be a short as 26 or up to 30. Definitely not worth fighting over starting this month, much better you and your OH embrace this ttc malarkey together.

LondonSuperTrooper Thu 15-Nov-12 21:50:12

I used to feel sick when taking my folic acid at breakfast time. I now have it with my lunch and I'm absolutely fine.

Sorry for the short post, I'm cooking our dinner for tomorrow night. Really think that I can cope with #2 as I'm getting a whizz at being organised wink

Volleyfeet Thu 15-Nov-12 22:28:09

Can I join too? Think the plan is for TTC in feb next year.
Will be first baby. Getting a bit more nervous the closer it gets!

Mintberry Thu 15-Nov-12 22:54:33

I am probably one of the most vague in this thread!
I've been on MN on and off looking for tips r.e. my DSS who I spend a lot of time with.
The day before yesterday me and OH had our first ever conversation about TTC, when to start (though that would be some time from now, when he's secure in his career which he's still qualifying for) and that we both wanted to.
I've been excitedly lurking the internet over baby and pregnancy stuff every spare minute since, because he always sounded reluctant before, so now I'm sooo happy, I can't wait for the day I can start. grin

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 16-Nov-12 00:04:04

Hello Volleyfeet and Mintberry, welcome to the slightly pointless thread <it's rather late, so I'll offer you a horlicks rather than wine>

Arrrggghh, my dear old Hairy Brigand is still not back from work! Feels like I've barely seen him all week.

oooh, key just turning in the door...good night all and happy dreams...

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Fri 16-Nov-12 06:43:09

trying dont worry about the pill being a hindrance, I was on it for 12 years came off it and got pg first month of ttc.

Really bad with taking my folic acid must start taking it proprly now its mid Nov.

TooMuchLaptop Fri 16-Nov-12 06:55:36

I'm slipping in too if that's OK, though it doesn't feel real atm. I don't know why but I can't quite believe it's going to happen for us.

I'm nearly 37 and I have a 9 yo dd, DP isn't her dad so it would be first baby for him. I had spent so much time thinking we weren't going to have another, and had finally decided on an absolute 'no', for all sorts of reasons, when I had a bit of a U-turn earlier this year and we're now looking at ttc 6 months' time (although I'm beginning to wonder whether to bring it forward to the new year, I'm so terrified of making the wrong decision and now I just want to get on with it, get pregnant and stop standing at that humungous fork in the road worrying about whether to do it!)

On the one hand I'm so excited about creating another little life, taking what is probably the final opportunity to do all that amazing stuff again, but OTOH - well, AAAAAGH at doing it all again!! Those of you who already have kids will know what I mean!! Our lives are already so busy and we're already tired all the time, I am also studying (work nearly full time too) and have dreams of a change in my career so those dreams would become more complicated, plus we have very little money and only rent a v small house, so in one way it feels like an extremely bad idea. I'm also absolutely terrified about the physical side of it -pregnancy complications, the birth, the risk of PND...
But but but .... it would be so wonderful to create an addition to our family, and everybody worries about the same things, right? Also, if DP was to be the one to get pregnant and have the baby, i would not hesitate, so i figured i've just got to 'woman up' and face those fears!

Perhaps coming here will help make it more solid for me and help me feel more settled with the 'yes' decision.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 16-Nov-12 10:17:27

TooMuchLaptop your post rings so many bells for me and there is heaps I want to say, but I've a mad day ahead and BridgetDog is waiting for her walk, so I'll just have to say hello for now.

Hope to log in at the end of the day (once Mini Bridget is in bed) and have a proper chat.

LoveYouForever - what is it with folic acid that makes it so easy to forget? I'm usually fab at taking medicines at the right time but my Sanatogen just completely slips my mind. Have a good day x

LavenderPots Fri 16-Nov-12 11:10:54

hoping to ttc #3 jan ish time for an autumn baby =] stupidly excited about this...

LondonSuperTrooper Fri 16-Nov-12 15:30:50

Hey welcome to the new comers smile

Sorelip Fri 16-Nov-12 15:55:45

Side effect of coming off of the ADs - I'm horny as hell! I never realised how much I've missed my sex drive. By the time I'm finished with DH, his nuts will be like raisins.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 16-Nov-12 16:35:12

Yay, three cheers for the return of your mojo Sorelip. Looks like your DH is in for a very happy Christmas! wink

Hello LavenderPots, hmmm, the thread smells lovely now you're here.

<eeew, Sorelip, I now have the image of shrunken, wrinkly, dehydrated bollocks stuck in my mind. Good job I don't know your DH in rl - I'd never be able to look him in the eyes again!>

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 16-Nov-12 16:38:38

Oh, just managed to sneak a few moments on the iPad - MiniBridget doesn't go to bed this early (would be great if she did though..)

Sorelip Fri 16-Nov-12 17:08:24

Bridget I hadn't considered how my description of his post-shagfest bollocks would be pictured. Now I have, and laughed til I cried a little bit. DH now knows that a) he is in for a very happy Christmas and b) women on mn are picturing his sack. Happy days grin

TigerseyeMum Fri 16-Nov-12 17:59:22

Am tittering at raisins image too....

Bridget I am studying through my job, I work for the NHS and am doing specialist training. It's hard but I like it. Ridiculously demanding.

Am so undecided about asking for endo treatment, gut feeling is come off the pill Sunday then a couple of months ttc then request a referral in january depending how I am.

How is everyone this foggy Friday night? I drive home through country lanes and the leaves were swirling all around me in the fog.

Right, better take the mutt out into the gloom...

TooMuchLaptop Fri 16-Nov-12 21:27:34

Bridget glad I'm not alone. I've caught up on most of the thread now, skimread much of it it's so long, but I read your earlier posts and can relate too!

All of this is so new to me, i fell pg with dd from a ONS blush so it'll be very, very different this time round. I didn't find out i was pg till 2 months in, it turned my world upside down, i thought my life was over as i had never had any intention of having a child ever. I think I remember taking folic acid straight away from finding out, i didn't realise it had to be taken so early on. If I do want us to start ttc in Jan I'd better have a word with DP soon!! Is there any harm in taking it for a prolonged period of time without getting pg?

Since writing my 1st post all the conflicting thoughts have reared up again in my head, my last sentence so far isn't correct, I'm freaking out all over again while at the same time impatient to start ttc or rather, get pregnant! I'm so confused!!

But, I did sit on the bus on the way to pick dd up from school trying to imagine that I had a little baby in a baby carrier about and got that warm fuzzy broody feeling, how lovely that would be. dd is the sunshine of my life, my best buddy, I cannot imagine life without her, and imagining looking down into a second little wonderful face with all the exciting stuff to come was heart-warming. Sorry, that is ridiculously slushy but it's better than writing out my half-glass-empty thoughts!

I also realised that I keep on imagining my life being exactly the same as it is now but with a baby added, so working the same hours, dd being the same age, etc. But in fact, I would be on ML for a year max (probably less, as i'd need to earn money asap) and DP & i would be drastically changing our working hours when i return (my employers are very flexible and DP is self-employed) so that we use as little child care as possible. Plus dd would by then be going to secondary school, presumably independently, and would be a help i would hope rather than a hindrance - later she would be able to babysit too!! wink What you said Bridget about your older DC being old enough for the baby to be hers as well as me & DP's is exactly what I was thinking!

So, perhaps, it will be easier than what i've been imagining... I do have an infuriating tendency to imagine the worst case scenarios, and then get there and realise all my worrying was for nothing and a completely pointless waste of energy! Way back i spent so much time worrying that DP would never be ready to move in together let alone ttc!!! seems ridiculous now.

TooMuchLaptop Fri 16-Nov-12 21:28:09

oh god, that was so long. i'll try and be briefer in future!!

ChicMama25 Fri 16-Nov-12 21:33:49

TooMuchLaptop I'm kind of in the same situation. my DD is nearly 8 and she is my best friend in the world she is also a super easy child and brilliantly behaved etc etc. I could just hang out with her every day! She makes me laugh so much. DP and I just about manage with his full time job and my super crazy FT+ job and DD is our saviour from the drudgery of it all! She is not biologically his but it doesn't matter.
I would love a baby NOW but I don't want to screw up our already finely balanced "managing just fine" <sigh>

Ideally want to get married in 18m time then start ttc straight away...

Sorelip Fri 16-Nov-12 21:34:58

TooMuch I've always thought it's better to imagine the worst so you can prepare for it, but also to hope for the best. Sounds like the worst kind of crap cliche I know.

I haven't really thought about what it will be like with two very young children, because if I do, I'll know that I've finally lost my one remaining marble and sew myself together.

TooMuchLaptop Fri 16-Nov-12 21:47:07

yyy to everything you've said Chic!!!

Sorelip yes good attitude. It's the 'hope' bit i've got to work on! I find it scary thinking positively, in case it all goes horribly wrong. I feel like preparing for the worst would help you deal better when it happens. Silly really, such a waste as i said. I remember going clothes shopping once when i was pg with dd and thinking "This is probably the last time i'll ever be able to do this!" WTF?! I don't know what was going on in my head!! Mind you, i wasn't that wrong - i can't afford proper clothes shopping now grin!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 16-Nov-12 23:42:42

TooMuchLaptop - finally I am able to sit down and log-on properly, but now I'm so very tired I'm not sure what I even want to say! (please forgive me if this is a rambling incoherent post)

I guess I just want to say that I think I understand at least some of what you are feeling. Like you I spent years thinking I would only have one child, so it is very surreal to now be ttc. I had a real moment of gut-wrenching panic last night when I suddenly got overwhelmed by the thought "what if I have missed my chance to have another." I can't bear the idea that after DP and I finally make the decision to go for it, we may be too late - it would be such a cruel irony after all the mental anguish and deliberations we've put ourselves through.

I too have worries over having another child and our income, size of house, my career (or lack of) etc. I have been out of the profession i qualified in for so long that I will need to retrain if I'm ever going to get back into meaningful employment. I worry that I am wasting my potential and another 5 years as a SAHM will eat away at my self-confidence entirely.

I have concerns over the possible negative impact on DP and I's relationship a baby could have. The arrival of DD hit us both hard and we were very distant from each other for a long time. DP works long hours and we don't have family nearby, so all the stresses and strains of caring for another child would fall squarely on my shoulders.

The prospect of returning to the baby-stage is both exciting and daunting in equal measure. DD is now at an age where I can easily go to the loo and have a bath on my own, leave her in a room on her own without worrying and I can even cook a meal without interruption. The independence is wonderful. It is scary remembering what it was like when I felt that I just couldn't get anything done and I had to keep a constant eye on her.

I have concerns over the physical side of things too. I have a prolapsed uterus (mild/moderate) and worry about the strain of another pregnancy and birth.

But, at the same time, I cannot stop thinking about having another child and I know that if I don't go for it (even if stopping at one is the 'sensible' thing to do) I will always have this huge "what if.." gnawing away me. It's totally bonkers but I sort of feel like my second child is already 'out there' and he/she is just waiting to be conceived.

I too worry a ridiculous amount - imaging the worst case scenario is like a self-protection mechanism. However, there is a lot of truth in the saying that "worry is interest paid on trouble before it becomes due" (one of my dear old Gran's favourites)

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that you're not alone in how you are feeling and I hope this thread can act as a bit of a sounding board for your thoughts and offer a bit of support.

Oh, I think you could take folic acid every day for the rest of your life and it wouldn't do any harm (don't you just pee out any that your body doesn't need?

Had a crazy broody lady moment today - brought a gorgeous wooden jigsaw (for age 2+) to hide away in my wardrobe for the future. Honestly my DP would be [shocked] if he knew the extent of my madness..

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Fri 16-Nov-12 23:46:17

Now I feel blush at the length of my last post!

TooMuchLaptop Sat 17-Nov-12 09:18:48

Thank you so much Bridget! I can relate to so much that you've said too.
Except the blind panic at the thought that nothing will happen, my blind panic is at the thought that it'll all go wrong. I am so worried that I am not being true to myself - because I think if DP didn't want one, and was as happy & excited about the future without one as I was when I had decided 'no', then I would be a very happy bunny, although like you said there would be a small element of 'what if'. confused DP was so miserable when i said 'no' that I couldn't be happy with it either, hence rethinking, and hence wondering what it is I really want, for me.

What keeps me striving towards feeling positive about it is the knowledge that my strongest reason for saying 'no' is simple fear. If I could fastforward to (or guarantee) happy bouncy baby stage, routine in place, DP confident and involved, dd happy and loving her brother/sister, me able to continue studying and look forward to changing jobs; then that picture makes me feel happy & excited too - but i'm so scared (realistic?) that it won't be like that at all. DP is scared of regretting not doing it, I'm scared of it being a big mistake (i won't say regret doing it because I don't think i could ever regret a child). I'm worried that getting a BFP would strike terror into me "what the hell have i done?!" (which come to think of it is what happened with dd!)

Your other fears are all mine too - the impact on DP & I - and dd & I - & DP & dd!! Money... wasting potential -and losing opportunities. I've talked all this through with DP, and he says he would be fully supportive in helping me achieve those ambitions as best i can while having a family. hence needing him to be fully independent & confident as a parent

You know what? <<lightbulb moment>> I think it's because having another child would basically take over most of the rest of our lives - the child wouldn't be grown up and leaving home until we're coming up for 60, if not already there. Then retirement is just round the corner. With dd, I've always been able to live with the lack of freedom, money etc because I know it's only temporary and I have a life, as in properly my life, to look forward to later on. Agreeing to a 2nd child feels like accepting it's always going to feel like this. If my sole purpose in life was to be a mum and have a family this wouldn't be a problem, and it would be easier to ignore my physical fears and do it anyway. Agreeing to a 2nd child feels like literally making a lifelong commitment. I suppose it's not really like that. I have 5 years left before i complete my degree, and that is when i was planning on looking at my career/jobs esp as by then dd will be 14 and more independent. If we have another child in a year, say, that brings it to school age. Nothing stopping me still seeing that time as fresh start job wise. At the same time I'd have another wonderful person in my life as bonus! smile

And, FGS, dd has been THE BEST THING that ever happened to me, and it's not actually as if i've been standing still, i've achieved loads and so much has changed. - I sorted out all my huge issues, almost as though i'd been to counselling, cleared all the s**T out of my head. I'm close to completing a Diploma with the OU and am halfway to Hons degree. DP & I have beaten all odds & successfully finally reached a lovely stable place in our relationship. Because I am in the same job i was in before, that i am so bored with, it's too easy to feel like i've been standing still all this time (and that having another would prolong that for even longer) but it's just not true, is it?

So sorry it's so long again! This is helping though.

ChicMama25 Sat 17-Nov-12 09:53:01

Oh I just wish I could click my fingers and have our finances sorted so we could plan our wedding and ttc now! Patience is a virtue?

AnnoyedAtWork Sat 17-Nov-12 10:32:25

I name changed.. Just testing it in the app

AnnoyedAtWork Sat 17-Nov-12 10:32:47

Oh yay it worked, this is ChicMama btw

Sorelip Sat 17-Nov-12 13:22:18

Madame is there anything you can do to improve your financial situation quicker, or is that not possible?

AnnoyedAtWork Sat 17-Nov-12 13:42:59

Not poss - already paying down debt as fast as poss. I also want us to get married first so I can't really complain! Plus i know dp and i will be more ready and relaxed for a baby once we've got those 2 things sorted. Just getting broody reading mumsnet!

TooMuchLaptop Sat 17-Nov-12 14:24:35

Same problem here re finances. We have very little spare to save, but have just started actively doing so. I'm not going to worry too much about money stuff (well, will try). We'd never do it if we factored that one in. confused I think I would like to get married first too, but that's a whole other thread...

Been playing with dd today, arty crafty stuff, it was fun, and I was thinking of all those toddler-type activities that are fun too and that i miss, like reading picture books (funny that, i got so bored of them with dd!). Also that wonder that the world becomes through the eyes of a LO. Trying to imagine there actually being a second little child here,iykwim.

I'm aware that everything I was on about in my last couple of posts is so intense and gets blown out of proportion in my head, but when i'm getting on with life itself and think about the actual reality it doesn't seem so scary.

In short, I do suddenly feel like going straight to DP now and saying right i think we should start trying straight away! Seriously though, I think i might have a word this weekend because I have a gut feeling it would take a while to get pg anyway, and the earlier the better in terms of my own plans. Like i said, 5 years left to get my degree, i'd like those tricky early years over with by then...
Plus it'll put paid to this infernal anxiety, doubt and yo-yoing between my two forks. I think once the decision is absolutely made and we're actually doing it i'll feel tons better. Besides, having a family, creating new lives, has got to be one of the more worthwhile amazing wonderful things one can do in life, i'd be crazy to pass up on this last opportunity to do it again.

Leafmould Sat 17-Nov-12 20:51:08

Hi everyone. Yes, I can imagine waiting is not a great place to be if suffering from over thinking things! It is less worrying to just get on with it.

We are waiting because we need to get organised. The house as well as finances. I am not very organised, and this is a bone of contention between my partner and me.

I have lovely images of how the baby's bedroom will look once I have got it redecorated, how much my dd's will learn about little ones, and how much they will enjoy teaching a baby to crawl, talk, use the potty etc.

But sometimes I do feel rather despondent about whether or not this will actually happen.

I do love this thread though, it means I can talk and think about it without driving my dp up the wall!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sat 17-Nov-12 21:55:09

Evening all, I hope everyone had a good start to their weekend.

TooMuchLaptop that horrible, undecided, limbo-land is definitely an emotionally exhausting place to be. If you were to start trying to conceive you may find that it helps crystallise your feelings. It is a somewhat risky strategy as you may fall pregnant straight away, but I think you'd soon get a sense of whether in your heart you want another. If, even with all your understandable fears and concerns, you find yourself mentally willing AF to stay away, it'll be a strong sign deep, down you want another DC.

Tigerseye - yay, last day tomorrow! Fingers crossed for you (both for the endo to behave itself and for a BFP) I hope loopy lurcher enjoyed his gloomy Friday walk <sending him a virtual pat on the head and a stuffed kong>

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sat 17-Nov-12 22:03:24

Oooh I luuurvve picture books, one of the best bits of being a parent. Most of Mini Bridget's collection were really bought for me. If there are any fellow picture book enthusiasts out there, my favourite illustrators are Helen Oxenbury and Polly Dunbar.

OrbisNonSufficit Sat 17-Nov-12 23:06:03

testing a name change...

OrbisNonSufficit Sat 17-Nov-12 23:06:23

Was justcait...

OrbisNonSufficit Sat 17-Nov-12 23:06:54

Jolly good it worked!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 18-Nov-12 21:33:08

Just a quick post to say hi

Bit of a weird day really. Went as a family to visit an old work colleague, her husband and her kids (2 year old and nine month old). To get there we had to drive through where we used to live (moved a few years ago) It felt so odd to drive past places I used to take DD all the time (library, park, doctor's surgery) and yet they weren't 'ours' anymore sad

Seeing the baby was fine (placid, dinky little mite) but had an awkward moment when I was quizzed about having a second child. I answered truthfully i.e. that actually we would have been looking forward to another if I hadn't lost a baby in April. DP was surprised I mentioned it but it actually felt like less effort than trying to come-up with something to say (IYSWIM) Conversation topic changed at the speed of light!

flowersfortea Sun 18-Nov-12 21:41:42

Hi ladies, not much of the weekend left now :-(

Question now is - and I know the real answer is sweat out the 2WW - but all day long I've had really sore nipples! hoping it could be a sign of something exciting but then could it just be rampaging hormones post-pill...? any ideas?! apologies for TMI.

Bridget that sounds like a hard day in many ways but well done, I can't imagine how difficult such conversations might be for people in similar situations. I still find it strange passing my old homes even from student days or early childhood.

Leafmould Sun 18-Nov-12 22:14:20

Hi all.

Bridget, that must have been a bit of an ouch moment. It's interesting how sometimes you don't want to talk about hard things because it will be hard for the listeners too. I admire you for your openness, and think it is important to help people remember that Having a baby doesn't just come from wanting one.

Good luck with the driving. It is a case of practise really. I used to go adn watch roundabouts to see how drivers used the lanes, thinking it would help me to get used to them. I am still hesitant on them, but blame this on a dodgy clutch I had for a few years!

Flowers is the nipple soreness a usual symptom of pmt for you? I think it's hard to differentiate between the 2 things, so hope you don't drive yourself crazy. When will you test?

did some bedroom reorganising today. Definately need to do a toy cull before Xmas.

I'll update the list with the name changes and new waiters soon, promise!

TooMuchLaptop Sun 18-Nov-12 22:15:43

I'm always surprised by people other than close friends who ask those sorts of questions. Anything could be going on for a couple related to this, it's a pretty personal thing really.

Had a nice lazy day today, the three of us. I deliberately again kept imagining a second LO hanging about, what we could be doing with him/her and how very different it'll actually be compared to when dd was small. I really, really want to do it, I'm sure now (although i still wish i could click my fingers and fastforward to, say, a baby 4 months old - who is sleeping through wink). It's really weird, it feels like all of a sudden there's a gap in the family, I've never felt like that before.

Somehow though I haven't quite got the guts up to speak to DP again about it, I have a feeling he will sigh about bringing it up yet again, as we agreed that at least for the rest of this year we weren't going to think about it. I am suspecting that he won't be at all ready to think about doing it for a while, judging by past conversations. I don't want to put him under pressure to do it before he's ready. But I don't know how much longer I can take the suspense!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Sun 18-Nov-12 22:50:24

Thanks for the kind words, but probably a bit undeserved. At that moment I just couldn't find the emotional energy to put a smiling face on and think up some throw-away line to satisfy their curiosity. More couldn't be arsed than anything else.

I think going past all the old haunts from DD's baby days had already put me in a funny frame of mind

Flowers fingers firmly crossed the sore nipples are a positive sign. My boobs are dreadful tricksters so I can't offer much advice - they tease me every cycle with different sensations at different times (although soreness often reaches a peak around cycle day 21).

Even, if AF does make an unwelcome appearance at the end of the month, the good news is you'll now be armed with more information about you and your cycle to take forward into the next month. At the very least it is a good sign that your natural hormones are doing the business post-pill.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sun 18-Nov-12 23:27:58

bridget so sorry you had a tough day. Fwiw I think you did the right thing by answering truthfully, alot easier than trying to come up with a story. Just a shame your friend was rude enough to quiz you on something so personal.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Sun 18-Nov-12 23:29:37

flowers for me sore boobs were a sign of pg so fingers crossed for you!

TwoJackRussellsandababy Mon 19-Nov-12 06:26:14

Good morning,

can I join in? Have DS who has just turned 1 and we will be TTC from the autumn, but I thought I might join in now, am going a bit broody already!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 19-Nov-12 09:36:50

Hi TwoJacks, come and join our merry troop of wait-ers, and belated birthday good wishes to young Master TwoJacks.

Does your nickname match your situation? If so, mind if I pick your brains on combining dog ownership with motherhood?

TooMuch, sorry to hear it hasn't felt the right time to raise things with your DP yet. I maybe way off the mark here but - thinking back to the endless angsty discussions I had with my OH - do you think perhaps he would sigh because you've had lots of emotional talks in the past that have just gone round in circles (and he would expect it to be more of the same)?

Do you think approaching him with something concrete, like proposing you/he stop using whatever contraception you've both been relying upon (or setting a definite date to do so) may elicit a different response?

On a "me, me, me note", this week should be shag-fest-athon week in the Hairy household but I'm feeling strangely flat about it...Very weird...

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 19-Nov-12 11:20:38

bridget why are you feeling flat? Is that visit to your work colleague still getting you down? Hugs to you.

think I might be ovulating next few days, hopefully oh doesnt use protection again!

Welcome twojacks!

LondonSuperTrooper Mon 19-Nov-12 12:37:27

Welcome twojacks and any other newbies that I may have missed off.

This thread is getting really busy and I can't keep up with all the coming and goings wink And please no more name changes - I'm very easily confused!

bridget I hope that you are OK?

Best of luck leafmould I hope that a BFP is on its way to you.

I think that we have delayed TTC in Dec & now looking to TTC in January...... but I reserve the right to change my mind!

Have a good day all x

TooMuchLaptop Mon 19-Nov-12 13:13:14

Bridget you might well be right about that, we have had quite a lot of conversations about this over the past few months, mainly consisting of discussing our fears and doubts and me chopping & changing my mind...

Sorry you feel flat about it all.
I use a 'running a phrase' technique that i read about once, if i can't figure out why i feel a certain way about something. So, you ask yourself a particular question: "Why do I feel flat about ttc this week?" and answer it without thinking too much. Then repeat the question, give a different answer, repeat again, ad infinitum until you come up with an interesting response or what feels like a deeper truth, or if you come up with an answer that you want to explore, formulate a question from that and do the same again. eg "I'm too scared" - change to "Why am I too scared?"
It's supposed to get your subconscious working, as your conscious self runs out of the obvious answers.

paintedcat Mon 19-Nov-12 16:59:10

Do you mind if another one joins?

We're not going to be ttcing for ages yet - starting in July after we get married. I guess it's restarting really, we tried for a bit earlier this year but nothing, and then stopped because I didn't want to be a pregnant bride (I'm going to need a drink to deal with my family all day...)

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 19-Nov-12 18:32:27

Evening all. Thanks London, I'm fine really. I know what you mean about the name-changes, I'm easily confused too! Glad this is a busy thread though as I've seen a few 'waiting to ttc' fizzle into nothing once everyone has introduced themselves.

Thanks for the suggestion TooMuch - I've never heard of that technique but it definitely sounds worth trying.

LoveYouForever - I have to hang my head in shame and admit that when DP was going through his 'careless with the condoms' phase I did rather cheekily try to physically engineer things during DTD so that 'just slipping in' was the easy option blush I think I may have been rather obvious at times but DP was too polite to say anything!

Leafmould thank you for keeping an eye on the thread list. Just say if it starts to become a pain. I wish I could get Mini Bridget to part with toys she's outgrown but she's as stubborn as her father. Oh well, may be another little Brigand will get to play with them.

Finally, hello painted cat, find yourself a comfy corner to settle down in <pops over to admire your engagement ring>

AnnoyedAtWork Mon 19-Nov-12 18:55:07

Sorry for confusing everyone with my name change! I was ChicMama25.

My career is just taking off and we want to get financially sorted and do up the house we just bought and get married first so baby is off the menu for a couple of years. But according to my plans for baby%232 before I am 30 and assuming a wedding takes a year to plan that gives DP approx 9 months to propose!!

DD is nearly 8 so there will be a massive gap whatever happens but I would love for it to happen before she is 10! Although I am concerned about giving her my full attention while she is transitioning from primary to secondary so it is either got to happen well before she turns 10 or after well after she turns 11.... What do you reckon ladies?

AnnoyedAtWork Mon 19-Nov-12 18:55:34

Sorry for confusing everyone with my name change! I was ChicMama25.

My career is just taking off and we want to get financially sorted and do up the house we just bought and get married first so baby is off the menu for a couple of years. But according to my plans for baby%232 before I am 30 and assuming a wedding takes a year to plan that gives DP approx 9 months to propose!!

DD is nearly 8 so there will be a massive gap whatever happens but I would love for it to happen before she is 10! Although I am concerned about giving her my full attention while she is transitioning from primary to secondary so it is either got to happen well before she turns 10 or after well after she turns 11.... What do you reckon ladies?

AnnoyedAtWork Mon 19-Nov-12 18:56:28

Ooh sorry phone posted twice

That was meant to say baby no 2!

Leafmould Mon 19-Nov-12 19:27:54

Hi all

bridget I think loveyouforever did a little magic for this thread when she called it pointless ! I am big children's book fan too, an love Helen oxen bury. My other favourite illustrator is jan pienkowski. I will have to look at polly Dunbar.

Welcome to painted cat hope your wedding plans are going well.and 2jackrussels, do you mean autumn as in now, or next autumn?

london thanks for the kind wishes, although I think the bfp just now needs to be for flowers! I may put you on both dec and jan lists when I update them! Hope you are feeling good about extending the starting line. I remember when waiting to give birth I decided that due dates should really be due fortnights!

Too Much laptop.
I really sympathise if you are finding it hard to talk to your dp about ttc. We haven't been able to agree on this topic for about 3 years, and I know has some reluctance still, like I said before, based on the general lack of organisation and the extra chaos a third child would inevitably bring. I'm glad that I at least understand why he is hesitant, even if I am finding it really hard to address his concerns.

Madame le bean

I am trying not to worry about secondary school too much in general really (argh, which school I don't really know). If a new baby coincides with dd8 starting secondary school, I hope the fact that I would be on maternity leave would mean I was able to be there for her a bit more than my usual working schedule would allow. But that's assuming I haven't been made redundant by then!

Ok better get the kids ready for bed now!

TwoJackRussellsandababy Mon 19-Nov-12 20:16:40

Evening all,

thanks for the welcome, we have eleven months till the boy turns two leaf and then the TTC starts, long time to wait! Although I have negotiated down from waiting till the boy was two and a half to start trying, well I sat negotiated, more like told DH I'm not waiting any longer than that!

Feel free to ask away about dogs and babies, Hairy we now have one jack russell bitch of about seven years old and a five month old lab dog, with a one year old our house is a bit manic sometimes....

I guess I would say that my DH worries about the cost of having another child, but we talked a lot about what we worried about when we tried for DC and also importantly what we looked forward to, so maybe with partners who are not wanting to try yet that might be the way to go? I also found that wailing "I want a baby!!!" helped blush

jazzcat28 Mon 19-Nov-12 20:59:44

Oooh wow a weekend away and the thread has gone crazy with posts! Sorry I haven't kept up with it all. thanks to all those suffering with the blues this week and I hope that the festive season hasn't made everything seem a million ten times worse (like it has for me)

This Christmas is the first one in ages that now-DH and I aren't very excited about. We're being very grown up and hosting his family, then he's back at work on 27th and I'm trekking to see my family. All very boring. Neither of our families have young children at the moment, everyone's hopes are very much pinned on us as the newly-weds to produce a baby in time for next Christmas!

I had a bit of a wobble this weekend and did the "I want a baby" wailing thing that twojackrussells mentioned, but DH calmed me down and reminded me that, being the control freak that I am, I wouldn't actually be able to mentally cope if we were caught pg earlier than I've imagined/planned it all out in my head. I just can't cope very well with unexpected things and the best thing all round is to stick to the plan to try in the spring. The fact we have thousands on doesn't help either.

We did have a mini-breakthrough however - he was flexible on whether to start in March when my pills run out instead of May but sensibly suggested we see how my periods turn out (they were very VERY random before I went on the pill 10 years ago).

For once my crazy, reckless, spur of the moment, risk taking DH is telling me to kerb it!

So I think ladies, I have come to the conclusion that we have all decided to 'wait' for various reasons, and I've resolved that whilst it's hard, the reasons were good enough to put a hold on everything in the first place, so unless situations have changed, they probably still remain good reasons.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 19-Nov-12 21:02:42

EXCITING!! Dh and I had a good chat tonight and he's agreed for us to TTC this month!

Eeeek excited!

Have been taking folic acid but not bought any OPK....think I ovulate some point this week. Last period was 7th Nov and have a 32day cycle so thinking we should dtd lots this week?

bridget think we've got similar cycle dates? Anyone else sort of trying from now?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 19-Nov-12 21:06:26

Also don't want to scare offdh though as I was bait too full on last time round, so may have to get all my crazy out on ths thread with you ladies.

jazzcat28 Mon 19-Nov-12 21:07:17

Yay! That's amazing news LoveYouForever!!!!

What are you doing on here... surely the first thing you need to do is jump on your DH to seize the moment wink

jazzcat28 Mon 19-Nov-12 21:07:56

Ahh cross posts!

TooMuchLaptop Mon 19-Nov-12 21:12:33

How funny, I too have been thinking about dd starting secondary school (2 yrs' time) and what if baby coincides, etc - i too had the thought that being on ML will actually be good, but tbh I'm planning to request a different working pattern when dd starts secondary whether or not there is a baby! I currently do roughly 9-5 atm and want to be at home for that after school period. It'll hopefully be possible where i work, because there are opportunities for home working.

Leafmould and TwoJackRussels - we've talked about all my fears etc, but not really DP's recently, as he was the one who definitely wanted one. I think his primary concern now would be financial too, the reason for the delay was partly to try & save some money, and partly to make sure i was definite about doing it. I think as well he would say he doesn't feel 'ready', because all the talk has been that he know he wants one 'one day'. There's only a time limit because of our - well, my - age, so chances are he's gonna have to do it before he's properly ready. But then ,would he ever be? is anyone ever really properly ready?

I think if a good opening presents itself, I'll bring it up, but otherwise i think I can leave it be till after Christmas, Jan would be a good time to talk again i think.

And yes, this definitely is not a pointless thread!! It's great to be 'talking' to someone about this, it's really helping get my head together about it all and making it feel more real.

Picture books - I've always been a fan of Shirley Hughes, both the stories and her illustrations. And I love Quentin Blake's illustrations too.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 19-Nov-12 21:12:53

I know! I'm nervous about scaring him off though, trying to wait until bedtime to try and make the whole thing seem a bit more casual as he originally wanted to wait until Jan and I hot him to agree to now (!)

The only problem is our 1 year old is waking LOTS in the night at the moment and sleeping in our bed....think I ovulate later this week so hopefully we'll get to dtd at least a few times to give it a shot!

TooMuchLaptop Mon 19-Nov-12 21:19:28

Cross posts!, ooh LoveYouForever fingers crossed for a swift bfp!!

jazzcat i understand your impatience!

flowersfortea Mon 19-Nov-12 21:52:38

Evening all. Great news LoveYouForever! My DH didn't seem to mind the new found libido wink

Second day of continuing soreness - I don't remember having breast symptoms with my cycle pre-pill, so am quietly hopeful, but it is definitely too soon to test. (Not easy when I work in health - lots of free pregnancy tests dotted around the workplace!) In theory with a 28 day cycle I could test at the very beginning of December - but will probably try and hang on at least another week or two if AF doesn't rear up in the meantime, because with an unknown cycle I don't want to disappoint us with a 'chemical' pregnancy.

That said, if I start vomiting every morning I won't wait too long hehe!

How has everyone's Monday been? Grey and miserable round where I live, and getting cold again. Right, back to work for me - DH thinks I'm writing a presentation for work!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Mon 19-Nov-12 22:50:58

Woo hoo, LoveYouForever that's fabulous news! <does a little celebratory dance gangnam style>

Yup, think we are pretty much in 'sync' at the moment. Today is cycle day 12 for me and hoping/expecting to ovulate in the next few days.

Ooh yes, yes, love Shirley Hughes, Quentin Blake and Jan Pienkowski too. Picked up a second hand Jan Pienkowski pop-up book at a local church fair about a fortnight ago. Was chuffed to bits even though one of the pop-ups was missing. DP thinks I'm mad!

Flowersfortea good luck with the presentation. All sounds very promising...(I'd be peeing on sticks morning, noon and night if they were free - well done on staying strong)

paintedcat Mon 19-Nov-12 22:54:48

jazzcat I did the "I want a baby!" wobble at the weekend too! We were walking to the tube and I saw one of those Natwest (is it Natwest?) banners with the little kid in the dragon costume and had a broody moment.

Oooh, sounds positive flowers. Hope it stays that way!

My Monday was fine until my raspberries got smushed. sad

TooMuchLaptop Tue 20-Nov-12 06:23:16

One of dd's favourite books when she was 2 was Dogger, it was bedtime story every night, and she knew it off by heart - i have video footage of her gabbling her whole way through it, turning the pages. So sweet, and pretty impressive!

Another one I got sick of was the tickle monster one by Julia Donaldson. And Have You Got My Purr? - I probably still know that one off by heart!!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 20-Nov-12 12:27:46

TooMuch Dogger is definitely a classic - I can even remember Bella and the golden bear with the blue silk bow from when I was little. The video footage of your DD sounds adorable..very impressive too as it's quite a long book for a 2 year old. You could sooo embarrass her when she's older by playing it for the first boyfriend she brings home.

I'd hate this thread to turn nasty but I'm not a fan of "Have You Got My Purr" - used to just wish the kitten would hurry up and get round the farmyard animals
before I died of boredom.

Managed to pick up "The Seaside Christmas Tree" by Sarah Garland in Oxfam Books today. Only £4.50! (Amazon has a used copy for £7 or something). Dashed into the shop when I saw it in the window as if I spotted the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

TooMuchLaptop Tue 20-Nov-12 12:35:18

Oh I didn't say it was one of my favourites, Bridget, it was one of dd's! grin

I've been trying to find a copy of a book called Acorns & Stew by Ruth Orbach. It's out of print, £30 from sellers on Amazon, £40 on ebay!! I keep checking Ebay in case anyone pops it on with 99p starting price!. It was one of me & my sister's favourites when we were kids, I don't know what happened to it.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 20-Nov-12 13:06:43

That book looks really sweet,good luck with your hunt. The 2011 reprint looks more reasonably priced (assuming it's the same story even though the title's slightly different).

It's interesting how even illustrations can reflect the period they're from - the front cover oozes the Seventies.

TwoJackRussellsandababy Tue 20-Nov-12 18:58:01

Am I the only person who smirked a bit at Dogger as a book name? Maybe my mind is too far into the gutter!

TooMuch it looks like there is a hardback copy of your book available second hand on that Amazon link?

Julia Donaldson is a hit in this house, mainly cos I like the rhyming and the Boy doesn't have an opinion at the moment grin

TooMuchLaptop Tue 20-Nov-12 19:13:37

Noooooo I hadn't thought of that for Dogger!! dammit!

Didn't notice that board book version! Hmm will consider that.
I also didn't realise Acorns and Stew Too was the same story, it confused me! -but judging from the first review it's rewritten in a 'contemporary' style so isn't exactly the same as the original. sad

AnnoyedAtWork Tue 20-Nov-12 19:26:13

So this morning I had a weird metallic taste in my mouth and I also cried for ages because one of the nobs I work with my colleagues shouted at me and told me to shut up (whole other story but anyway)

Mumsnet has made me paranoid about the 1 pill I missed about a month ago so I went and got a test. Negative of course sad actually it would be a disaster now practically but I would be a tiny bit happy tbh!

rainbowtea23 Tue 20-Nov-12 20:12:36

Hello all, room for another newbie? I'm 26 and recently married, DH and I are planning to ttc our first in January, have started on the folic acid and can't wait until the New Year

HorseyGirl1 Tue 20-Nov-12 21:15:28

Jumping this little bandwagon too. Plan to start TTC number two in April. Will prob just lurk but nice to read everyone's posts on the subject. Started to take conception support tablets which is ironic when I'm still on the pill. DoH! xx

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 20-Nov-12 22:25:40

Ah Madame sounds like you've had a truly rotten day and I hope you are feeling a little better now <hands over a lovely mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream, and sticks tongue out at the nob you work with>

So sorry about the bfn. I can totally understand you being a little gutted even if practically it wouldn't have been the best timing. Have you got a cold or poorly sinuses at the moment? That gave me a metallic taste recently.

Hello to the new joiners.

DP still not home from work. I'll never get pregnant at this rate!

paintedcat Tue 20-Nov-12 22:28:22

Welcome rainbowtea and HorseyGirl!

Aww Madame that sounds like a horrible day. Hope tomorrow's better for you. Your colleague sounds like an idiot, unplug the cord on his computer tomorrow (if you work in an office)?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Tue 20-Nov-12 23:08:13

bridget know what you mean! We dtd last night but dh still watching tv and worrying about missing this months shot as conceiving.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Tue 20-Nov-12 23:08:48

madame big hugs to you.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Tue 20-Nov-12 23:30:13

Absolutely friggin great - now there's no hot water left for a bath - this evening is turning out to be pants!

LoveYouForever don't worry yesterday's batch of swimmers should still have you covered if the egg decides to pop soon. We haven't DTD since Sunday night. We were going for the every other day approach but looks like that up the Swanee now..

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 21-Nov-12 06:28:48

Hope so bridget dh has not let me use any opks so I wouldnt stress as much but all I can do is stress that we should be dtd at least once a day to give ourselves a shot this month...have a feeling its going to take months to ttc this time round at this rate.

Hope your evening improved!

TwoJackRussellsandababy Wed 21-Nov-12 07:46:58

Morning all,

had written a post but the Boy likes to help when I'm using the laptop and whoosh away it went!

Madame hope you have a better day today, your colleague shouldn't make you cry, whatever might have happened!!!

Welcome to the fellow newbies, I'm gonna be here forever, but gives me some time to get ready for TTC months and months from now!!!

Love I wouldn't worry about conceiving too much, a couple of times a week is fine, I put my DH on a schedule last time and we actually conceived when we stopped trying so much, so that put the months of effort and worry into the 'waste of time' bin!

Off to work for me, have a lovely day all

TigerseyeMum Wed 21-Nov-12 08:25:04

Morning Lovelies. I can't get in to MN much at the mo as its not working properly on my phone sad

Day 1 of AF though, resurrected my Pink Pad app but I will use some opk's to see if I do actually ovulate this time trying. Can't believe I am embarking on this journey again! 2 years last time, 1 year of intense trying.

And joy joy! At having period pain again! Sadly PP reckons I will see her again when we are on holiday and then over Xmas. Damn!

Have a good day everyone, come what may x

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 21-Nov-12 08:26:47

Good morning slightly pointless ones.

Well..DH eventually managed to 'deliver the goods' even though it ended up being around 1am. Just as things got going Bridget Dog decided to start crying so we had to take an annoyingly timed break so DP could go and investigate. Then straight afterwards Mini Bridget started calling out for me. All so, so romantic! Hah, it's a far cry from the swinging from the chandeliers sex we were having when Mini Bridget was conceived.

Mini B is now poorly and won't be going into school today. She makes a very strict task-master when she's off-colour so I'm not anticipating a fun day for me.

DP is being so very co-operative with this ttc business that I now feel under pressure to keep up my side of things and actually conceive. I'm wondering if the casual just ditching the condoms and seeing what happens approach may suit us better (even if it takes longer). But on the other hand, that was getting us nowhere earlier in the year..

LoveYouForever - no way in the world could I manage every day - you're a woman with a mission! I'm sure every few days should be fine. Would it help to think of this month as an unexpected 'bonus month' anyway?

Have a good day TwoJacks

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 21-Nov-12 08:39:29

Oh Tigerseye so lovely to see you again <sending virtual chocolate and a hot water bottle your way>

Must be so daunting getting back on the ttc roller-coaster - I won't even pretend that I know how it feels. I just have my fingers and toes crossed that you get that much wanted BFP. I hope this doesn't sound cheesy but I really admire your gutsy-ness.

Blinking heck, AF certainly knows how to turn up when she's least wanted. Hope the app predictions turn out wrong and the dates manage to re-jiggle themselves away from your holiday and Xmas.

TigerseyeMum Wed 21-Nov-12 09:19:21

Morning Bridget! <waves> You have a fun day planned then! Hope Mini perks up soon. I am having another cuppa before venturing into work, don't have any clients until later. My in-laws are here tonight en route to their holidays. Hope AF behaves herself!

Mythreeknights Wed 21-Nov-12 09:46:09

Hello hello, sorry for radio silence, been a busy bee but not in the productive baby-making sense! I'm coming up to ovulation time (day 8 or 9 today) so keen to get into the swing of things, but each night when DH gets home, I grin suggestively at him, he grins suggestively back, then we park that idea, have supper, get into bed and....FALL ASLEEP BECAUSE WE ARE BOTH SHATTERED. Not good going is it?! I'm more of a morning girl, me, but DH1 keeps waking before I can start any hump-action, shouting that he needs a wee. And to be honest, after that we just get up and get ready for work. ARGH. This is going to take AGES.

Leafmould Wed 21-Nov-12 10:12:12

Any lurkers want to be on the list?

I'm updating in a minute. . . .

Leafmould Wed 21-Nov-12 10:25:27

mrs wajs ttc#2 now
flowers for tea sooner than she thought!
Stick the kettle on age 40 ttc#3 next week!
peeohayess ttc#2 not actively, but.......
Larty74 ttc #2
setayharas  November 
mythreeknights age 34ttc#3 November 
loveyouforever ttc #2 

riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
cunningplan  December
familyguyfan  ttc#2 soon
sloeginfizz  December
london supertrooper  age 39 ttc#2 December
bridget&hb  age 35 ttc#2 December
jaffacakehips  ttc#2 dec/jan
lollyshmollypop  #2 December
mumaaaah  ttc#2 mid December
DejaB00   age 33 ttc #2 December
loulou the shamed age 29 ttc#2 dec/jan
swedeheeed December

After Xmas
whyriskit   ttc#3 after Xmas 
notyouagain   #2 after Xmas 
amiready  ttc#1 after Xmas

Winterpansy   ttc #2 jan/feb
bourbonsandtea ttc#2 january
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
tothemoon ttc#1 January
mrs spencer Reid ttc #2 January
2beornot ttc #2 new year
Mika2 age 31 ttc #1 after getting promoted! (fx)
serious stuff ttc#1 January 
sorelip ttc#2 
london supertrooper  age 39ttc#2 
rainbowtea23 age 26 ttc#1 
zedds ttc#1
tryingtoconcievesharply age 23 ttc #1
lavenderpots ttc#3

crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
accidental exhibitionist ttc#2 February
volleyfeet ttc#1

batfish ttc#1 march

Zen nudist age 34 ttc #2 April/may?
caramal ttc#2 hopefully April.
orbis non sufficit age 35 ttc#1 April 
horseygirl1 ttc#2

leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
jazzcat28 ttc#1 may/June 
toomuchlaptop age 36 ttc#2

painted cat ttc #1

part1 ttc#2 August

Porridge with almond milk

twojackrussellsandababy ttc#2

May 2014
madamelebean ttc #2

Indefinite or vague

Once again, just say if I've got you wrong!

Leafmould Wed 21-Nov-12 10:39:09

My 3 knights, your last post made me giggle! I think it is a typo, but I am finding the idea of your first husband shouting that he needs a wee whilst you are trying to get some action funny!

But on a more serious note, It can be so hard to find the time together when you are not exhausted. I am inspired by another thread to consider when he gets in from work against the washing machine as probably the most opportune time and place. However this is not really a goer when you have kids already blush unless you dh arrives after bed time like bridget

Good luck in finding a good moment.

How's the course going, tigerseye

mrs wajs are you there? Or are you keeping away for the 2ww?

Winterpansy any news about the job?

I can't believe how many of us are waiting! How careful and prudent we all are. I am thinking about how lucky we are to live in a day and age where we really do have some control about family planning. Plus it's great to have some actual ttcers on the thread to inspire us.

Right going to drag the Hoover round the house now.

AnnoyedAtWork Wed 21-Nov-12 10:42:42

I think sept 2014 (hopefully) would be more accurate for me or vague if you prefer!

Leafmould Wed 21-Nov-12 10:45:49

Ok, bean I'll just see if there are any more corrections and I'll repost you shortly.

Mythreeknights Wed 21-Nov-12 11:08:44

HA HA leafmould you are so right - that was a typo. That is very funny.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 21-Nov-12 11:25:31

bridget I made us dtd twice a day for a month first time round blush thistime we have dd so was hoping once a night but you're so right, I should look at Nov as a bonus a relax a bit [smile

Thank you for the list leaf!

TooMuchLaptop Wed 21-Nov-12 13:37:53

Ooh seeing my name next to a month gave me shivers!

Same thing happens here, mythreeknights, we're just always tired.

Bridget, I too am wondering if just forgetting contraception and leaving it to chance might be the way to go, so there isn't that pressure or that feeling "right it's got to happen now". Wondering if putting it that way to DP might be easier, i still haven't had the guts to bring it up with him blush.
I really must though, yesterday i couldn't stop thinking about babies, and how trying right away - or at least January - would be the very best thing to do, time wise in terms of my study. I am so scared that if we leave it another year I will change my mind again and it'll feel too late because I will really start to feeling like i'm throwing away the opportunity for a career.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 21-Nov-12 14:34:15

Hee, Hee Mythreeknights - I was smiling at your post and thinking.....Gosh, how many husbands does this woman have!

LoveYouForever - TWICE A DAY! Oh my word! Even at 17 I couldn't have matched your pace...and that's when my first boyfriend and I acted like we were the first people on earth to have sex.

Isn't your little one still under 2? When Mini Bridget was that age, I think Mr Hairy was lucky if he saw some action on his birthday, Christmas and the odd bank holiday!

Leafmould thank you for the list. But, eeeew, believe me, the thought of me and Mr Hairy going at it up against the washing machine is not a pleasant one. All that harsh kitchen lighting and my pale wobbly bits - not a good combination. No, we are a strictly teeth brushed, snuggled up in bed, with the lights out, kind of couple these days.

TooMuchLaptop good luck finding the right moment for your chat with your DP.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 21-Nov-12 14:43:34

Oh Leafmould I completely and utterly agree with your thoughts on how lucky we are to live in an age, and part of the world, where we have some control over our fertility and family size.

I watched the BBC 1 programme "four born every second" on iplayer yesterday and it really brought it home how very fortunate we are. Very humbling.

LondonSuperTrooper Wed 21-Nov-12 14:51:22

Can't write much as I'm at work. I just wanted to say thanks ladies for cheering me up. This thread is hilarious and I'm enjoying reading all about your bedroom antics wink

AnnoyedAtWork Wed 21-Nov-12 15:24:01

Was reading today that most graduates wait until they are 35 to try for first baby and 1 in four of them will have "left it too late" and that I'd be well advised to "get cracking" before I turn 30!

I mean this will be my second but seeing as I had my first at 18 doesn't count right? Fertility still declines...

Well this puts paid to DP's suggestion of waiting another FOUR years - I sent him the article with the word THIRTY in red and bold letters!

Have made 2 hypothetical timing plans based on 1 or 2 more DCs ... Dont want to still have small children around when im 40. So difficult when the decisions are all wound up with money and where dd will go to secondary school.

TooMuchLaptop Wed 21-Nov-12 16:18:47

Link to that article please! I'm 37 very soon !!

AnnoyedAtWork Wed 21-Nov-12 16:28:47

There can be no further progress in equality between the sexes until men and women genuinely regard raising a child as a shared task

A new study shows that women with degrees now have their first child at 35 – or they try to. One in four female graduates will never have children, mainly because they leave it too late. Dr MacDougall advised anyone at the Newnham seminar who was hoping to start a family to get cracking before they were 30.

AnnoyedAtWork Wed 21-Nov-12 16:29:59

Ok so it includes those who left it later than 35 depends how you read it but think it means 1 in 4 grads generally not just those who were trying at 35

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 21-Nov-12 16:35:40

MadameLeBean yep fertility does decline, but please don't get too freaked out or worried by the article.

Yes, physically, the sooner the better, but I think so much of this age/when to have children question depends on individuals' circumstances and how people's lives have panned out.

I would be absolutely over the moon to have small children around when I'm 40! But I can totally understand you having a different perspective given that you embarked on motherhood at 18. At 40 you'll have 22 years of parenthood under your belt.

When I had DD (at 30) the midwife commented on what a young mum I was and most of my NCT group were late 30s and early 40s. I felt rather immature in comparison and they were all without doubt in a better position financially and career-wise than me.

I hope I don't sound defensive, but I'm the 'wrong' side of 35 and don't consider myself out of the fertility game just yet.

AnnoyedAtWork Wed 21-Nov-12 16:40:09

Yes totally not meaning to sound negative about older mothers just that I don't want to - as you say - have 22 yrs of small kids!

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Wed 21-Nov-12 16:46:02

Madame totally agree that these decisions are so difficult when money is a factor. I suspect Mr Hairy would have agreed to another DC much sooner if our finances had been healthier. It wasn't the only factor, but probably in the top three.

paintedcat Wed 21-Nov-12 17:14:12

Ooh, I feel like a proper mumsnetter now I'm on a list.

I'm preparing for a bit of 'oh aren't you too young for this' with planning to be a mum early. I'm 22, which doesn't seem that early to me, but compared to a lot of people I know it really is. For me though it seems right, and for DP too, so I guess that's all that matters. I think some people are going to be judgey whenever it is you have kids.

The only reason we can afford to have children is DP being older (34) and having been childless for the first part of his working life he's been able to save up. And it's going to be a struggle even with his savings.

Zedds Wed 21-Nov-12 17:41:10

I am 37 and going to be trying for my first very soon - I do worry that it might be too late but first meeting the right person and then finances have meant that this is the first time that I have been able to try. Fingers crossed....

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 21-Nov-12 18:52:29

Little one is 1 so no twice a day action for us anymore, but still want to do it everyday to help our chances, dh is acting like I'm being unreasonable he should be grateful(!)

I'm also 31 and am starting to hear that clock ticking louder everyday...i should add that my natural state is usually one of worry, paranoia and neurosis and ttc that!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Wed 21-Nov-12 18:53:57

Should read ttc amplifies that!

TooMuchLaptop Wed 21-Nov-12 19:14:17

I must say when i was feeling negative about having another i was feeling excited about having my 40s & 50s to myself, freedom money career etc like i said.

But now that I'm feeling positive about it I feel more like Bridget, really excited about it and that my 40s will (hopefully) be full of all the fun and wonder than children bring... and decided it'll be nice to have a 'child' still around into our 50s. I do worry about energy though, i feel like a creaking gate most days.

paintedcat many benefits to having kids sooner (especially as it sounds like you're in a good position to do so) because you get to have the rest of your life later on, plenty of time for a career in your case. It doesn't really matter which way round you do it, really

btw i have heard from somewhere that womens' libido goes up in your 40s as your body's last ditch attempt to procreate... not sure how that's related to actual fertility though, or where i heard it from, i think somebody told me so it could be hogswash!

TooMuchLaptop Wed 21-Nov-12 20:30:50

Just read the article - quite a good one. Totally agree that raising children should be regarded by the couple as an equal task. I think it is so unfair and actually nonsensical when it is assumed that the man will continue working full time while the woman has to do the compromising (though I understand that in the first year, esp if breastfeeding, it makes sense for it to be that way). Even if it's for financial reasons, it seems unfair that one half of the couple, usually the woman, should lose out on opportunity just because her partner earns more, or conversely that the other half working full time should lose out on time with the kids. Unfortunately I guess what with the cost of child care etc a lot of couples don't have a choice.

In our case, DP works term time only, and is not very able to add to his income and hours, so really it is me who has better earning potential (if i got a different job, my current job is pretty low pay); so I suspect it would be me with the ability to work full time and that that's where we'd be heading once our potential 2nd DC enters school age and nursery costs are no longer an issue. I actually feel OK about that - it means I don't have to give up on my career plans!! wink

That's the plan in my head anyway....

Leafmould Wed 21-Nov-12 21:14:02

mrs wajs ttc#2 now
flowers for tea sooner than she thought!
Stick the kettle on age 40 ttc#3 next week!
peeohayess ttc#2 not actively, but.......
Larty74 ttc #2
setayharas  November 
mythreeknights age 34ttc#3 November 
loveyouforever age 31  ttc #2 

riskit4abiskit ttc#1 December
Rugbywidow7 ttc#2 dec/ jan
cunningplan  December
familyguyfan  ttc#2 soon
sloeginfizz  December
london supertrooper  age 39 ttc#2 December
bridget&hb  age 35 ttc#2 December
jaffacakehips  ttc#2 dec/jan
lollyshmollypop  #2 December
mumaaaah  ttc#2 mid December
DejaB00   age 33 ttc #2 December
loulou the shamed age 29 ttc#2 dec/jan
swedeheeed December

After Xmas
whyriskit   ttc#3 after Xmas 
notyouagain   #2 after Xmas 
amiready  ttc#1 after Xmas

Winterpansy   ttc #2 jan/feb
bourbonsandtea ttc#2 january
gooseygirl age 37 ttc#2 January
tigerseyemum age 39 January
tothemoon ttc#1 January
mrs spencer Reid ttc #2 January
2beornot ttc #2 new year
Mika2 age 31 ttc #1 after getting promoted! (fx)
serious stuff ttc#1 January 
sorelip ttc#2 
london supertrooper  age 39ttc#2 
rainbowtea23 age 26 ttc#1 
zedds  age 37 ttc#1
tryingtoconcievesharply age 23 ttc #1
lavenderpots ttc#3

crazyhead ttc#2 in feb/march
fancy nancy 77 age 35 ttc#2 feb/mar
accidental exhibitionist ttc#2 February
volleyfeet ttc#1

batfish ttc#1 march

Zen nudist age 34 ttc #2 April/may?
caramal ttc#2 hopefully April.
orbis non sufficit age 35 ttc#1 April 
horseygirl1 ttc#2

leafmould age 34 ttc#3 May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
jazzcat28 ttc#1 may/June 
toomuchlaptop age 36 ttc#2

painted cat age 22 ttc #1

part1 ttc#2 August

Porridge with almond milk

twojackrussellsandababy ttc#2

September 2014
madamelebean ttc #2

Indefinite or vague

Once again, just say if I've got you wrong!

I have just put in a correction and a few ages, after reading that article, it feels like more than ever an important factor. . . Less like a 'choice' to have children later, and more like a battle to have them earlier!

rainbowtea23 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:15:46

Lots of interesting thoughts on here, both DH and I are graduates and although we have jobs they aren't exactly what we had imagined we would have gone onto after finishing uni back in 2008 but job markets and economic situations have changed. Very few of our uni friends have children yet as they try and establish careers, I've always wanted to have a child before reaching 30 and maybe a few more if we are lucky enough and be able to enjoy them without thinking about a career I've left and would find it hard to get back into if that makes sense. To me, I understand this isn't the case for everyone, the career can wait, I still have a degree at the end of the day and I have a job in a company that could lead to greater progression in the future when the time is right for me.

Sorelip Wed 21-Nov-12 22:30:35

DH and I have decided not to TTC for another year at least, as we are struggling enough with DS. Tonight as he cries and keeps us up late yet again, I'm seriously considering sterilisation.

To those TTCing very soon, good luck, and to those waiting to TTC, I hope the wait isn't too bad.

AnnoyedAtWork Thu 22-Nov-12 08:08:39

Sorelip I empathise... My dd who is 7 and normally total angel decided to do devil child style tantrum - complete with snarling - the other night, because she wasn't allowed more cheese on her pasta (as she had been whinging about it)

Then I thought god why would I want a smaller less reasonable one?!!!

But DP and I talked a little about it last night and think he seemed keener - but we are on a mission to get our finances and house sorted first.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 22-Nov-12 10:09:36

Sorelip sorry to hear that now isn't the right time to ttc. It's good that you and your DH can talk these things through. We have had some very challenging times with Mini Bridget so can understand the feeling that one is plenty (even more than enough) right now.

Good luck with your studies, stay strong and take good care of yourself - when the time is right, you are going to be great place to have another.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 22-Nov-12 11:26:50

sorelip good luck with everything sounds like you're being very sensible in waiting one more year.

Have been using opk much to dh annoyance but still no lh surge detected, want that smiley face!

TwoJackRussellsandababy Thu 22-Nov-12 11:48:17

Sorelip, sounds like you LO is being a bit challenging! Am sure you will know when it's the right time, DH and I too wonder whether its a good idea to think about starting again with a newborn when things are going back to relative normal now the Boy is one but I think I'd be sad if we didn't try for a siblingsad

Am sitting in my car listening to the rain and knitting an Xmas stocking whilst waiting to go to my next appointment, not a bad job I have sometimes....

TooMuchLaptop Thu 22-Nov-12 12:38:09

Know totally what you mean too, hearing other people's babies or toddliers screaming etc!!

I need to admit some ignorance . Can someone explain what opk is? And the whole cd business - i know it stands for cycle day, but what is day 1, beginning of period or first day after it ends? And what part of the cycle are you most likely to get pg/or is ovulation? It feels obvious from my own body but just wondering.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 22-Nov-12 12:44:22

toomuch opk are ovulation predictor kit, and I get slightlym infused with cycles but think day 1 is the first day of your period, and if you count until the next day before your next on, that's how long your cycle s.

Can someone else confirm that please?

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 22-Nov-12 12:46:41

Sorry should read confused not infused.

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 22-Nov-12 12:47:05

LoveYouForever any chance you've had your LH surge already? Sorry to be personal but how is your cm? Does that give you any indication of how close to ovulation you are?

I keep hovering next to the Clear Blue OPKs in Boots but ultimately deciding not to buy them (they have been in and out of my basket a few times though blush). I keep thinking that they are awfully expensive just to pee on but I expect I'll succumb in the next few months.

I have some cheapies I picked up in Morrisons that I've messed about with this cycle - not sure if I got a positive or not but I had fun peeing into an empty petit filous pot! DP saw the pot in the bathroom and asked what on earth it was doing upstairs. I just shrugged like I had no idea and sort of nodded in Mini Bridget's direction <I need an evil mum smiley>

TwoJacks very jealous of your knitting skills envy Will have to get around to quizzing you about managing a dog and a baby one of these day..

BridgetandtheHairyBrigands Thu 22-Nov-12 13:04:53

LoveYouForever that matches my understanding of it. I can get quite a lot of on and off heavy spotting (over a number of days) before my period starts properly so sometimes I waiver over which day to count as day 1. But I think as long as you are consistent in your own personal criteria then it doesn't matter too much.

I think I read once that if you start bleeding in the afternoon then cycle day 1 is the next day, but I've never used that rule.

TooMuchLaptop as a very general rule women with a 28 day-ish cycle are most fertile mid-cycle (somewhere around cycle day 14). However, things get more complicated if you have a longer or shorter cycle than this. It is the period of time post-ovulation (the lutueal phase) that stays roughly the same rather than the length of time before ovulation. So, someone with a 30 day cycle could expect to ovulate around day 16 and someone with a 26 day cycle on day 12.

I have normally have 27-29 day cycles. I always very, very roughly think of my cycle as..week 1 my period, week 2 my fertile week, weeks 3 & 4 my two week wait (tww).

That was all probably as clear as mud! Think there is a guide on mumsnet somewhere

Sorelip Thu 22-Nov-12 14:45:28

Aaaaand now I think I've changed my mind. I feel so damn broody, but when DS keeps us awake all night (literally all night - DH couldn't go to work because he got no sleep) I'd tempted to try home sterilisation. He's not very well though, been off his food and very upset, so I think he's teething badly. I have to try to remember that this isn't how he is all the time.

Sunshine2013Hopefully Thu 22-Nov-12 14:57:38

Hi all, can I join in this exciting thread plz? This is my first time adding a msg, it's exciting! Well I'm 26 & my dh is 28 and we plan to start trying in January. We have been married for 2.5 yrs but hav been going on lovely holidays & fixing up our house but now I think it's time to take the plunge and hav a baby! smile I'vs always wanted to b a mummy just wanted to get all my ducks in a row first, and now that I hav I am super excited for baby making! Roll on the new year!!

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Thu 22-Nov-12 16:31:55

bridget I've only used the opk for two days (today and yesterday) so maybe I haven't ovulated yet? Although the ov calculators say I am/was fertile yesterday through to sunday, so starting to get a bit worried/unneccessarily neurotic(!)

I only bought the 7 day one with a pg test included, so I guess next month I'll get the 20day one so I don't miss it.

Cm doesn't seem to have changed much, maybe ever so slight more of it, but nothing that is noteworthy.

I'll be testing around the 9th dec, will you be testing then too? Don't want to get my hopes up but really want a bfp!

sunshine welcome to our thread! It's all very exciting isn't it smile

sorelip why ont you try the NTNP method? That way if it happens it happens and you don't have to make a decision as such.