Don't want to do a test :(

(110 Posts)
SadPanda Mon 08-Oct-12 16:05:27

I'm so mixed up and don't have anyone to talk to. I feel so sad. sad

My period is definately a week overdue, possibly 3 or more as I can't remember exactly when the last one was. They've become a bit less reliable than they used to be and are so light they barely register anymore. Hormone changes due to my age I think (I'm 40 now).

My husband and I started trying to conceive several years ago but sadly nothing happened. Then as hormones started to change nature became cruel and PMT symtoms became more and more like being pregnant. I spent a small fortune on pregnancy tests each month only for period to start straight after testing. The emotional rollcoaster was killing me, so I got off it and resigned myself to not getting pregnant and to be honest, once I passed 40 I thought the ship had sailed.

Now I feel terrible, can't sleep, get up several times in the night to pee, my breasts are so sore on the outside and achey on the inside. I know I need to do a test but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm kidding myself and I can't cope with the hurt of being back on the rollercoaster. But I want to know. But when it says negative I'll feel like such a fool. Again. sad

It's probably all stress related anyway. sad

crosscupcake Mon 08-Oct-12 16:09:32

Hi there.

We will hold your hand if you want to do a test then come and chat.

You DO need to know my lovely.

I can relate to what you are saying completely, we had given up after 7 miscarriages.
I am sat here now, aged 42, 23 weeks pregnant with the baby we thought we would never have....

Miracles you see....maybe its time for yours..

Go on, do a test.

katiecubs Mon 08-Oct-12 16:13:29

oh gosh you poor thing. i hate testing myself - too much power is held by that little piece of plastic.

in some ways though perhaps its best to just bite the bullet and stop torturing yourself. am really really hoping it's a positive!

piratecat Mon 08-Oct-12 16:17:19

do you have a test to do op? x

SadPanda Mon 08-Oct-12 16:21:05

I'll have to wait till tomorrow now anyway. I'm not in the UK and would only be able to get one from the chemist which is closed now. I feel a bit better just from writing it down and having a bit of a weep.

I always felt like the problem was because of my weight (I was 20 stone). That's why I never sought help, because I was ashamed. I've had help with my eating disorder for a few years but it's only in the last few months that I feel I've finally got control of it and lost 4 stone as a result.

That would be ironic, finally start to get my weight under control and then fall pregnant and put it all on again.

willitbe Mon 08-Oct-12 20:13:16

So sorry that you are going through this stress. When the desire to have a baby has reached the point of acceptance that it won't happen and then our bodies go through hormone changes to fool us, it is horrible.

I am going through similar at the moment, peri-menopause causing my body to think that sore breasts, and irritable bladder are hopeful signs, but it is not the case for me, and it is stirring up all the emotions at the same time.

I think for your sanity you might have to take a test, just so that you know what is going on. Just try to focus on that one test will not necessarily have to put you back on the rollercoaster, it is just one test, buy a cheap test and don't let yourself linger over it.

Well done on the weight loss, that is a fanatastic thing to achieve.

Adviceinscotland Tue 09-Oct-12 07:14:51

Not to give you false hope but wu over weight friend went to the doctors as she was struggling to fall pg and she was told even losing 10% of your body weight increased your chances off falling pg by a huge amount.

Not exactly a scientific study but we were both doing ww and now both pg after losing about 10% each.

Wishing you loads of luck.

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 09:29:25

Oh, I really feel for you. Actually doing the test after years of trying is grim. I remember it so vividly. I lost 4 stone before I got pregnant with DS and didn't put it all back BTW! I hope it's good news.

Good luck OP.

Well done on the weight loss!

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 12:35:23

I'm still sat in my pjs as I'm procrastinating at an alarming rate today blush.

Right. I'm getting dressed and going to the health centre.

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 13:23:05

Good luck, let us know how it goes.cxcccsxz

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 13:23:51

Oops, that was DS at the end there.

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:22:15

OMG, there's a second line. It's very faint but definately a second line. OMG. What do I do? Do I get another one and check. I can't type, my hands are shaking.

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:23:37

Going over the chemist to get another before they shut. Be right back.

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 15:30:31

WOOHOOO. Fantastic news! If you're me, you buy another five tests, in a variety of line/digital/conception indicator styles. Have you ever had a positive before?

Good luck OP.

beckslovestimmy Tue 09-Oct-12 15:32:44

Really hope it's a positive for you, it sounds promising. With the tests I did the positive line was faint but definitely there, did another to confirm and the line was faint again. About 2 weeks later did a clear blue digi and got the word pregnant. We'd been TTC for a long time, couldn't believe my eyes, had to get husband to double check and checked the instructions over and over. Maybe try a fmu tomorrow for a darker line? So so excited for you xx

Clargo55 Tue 09-Oct-12 15:33:15

Congratulations OP grin

effingwotsits Tue 09-Oct-12 15:33:40

Wow!! Really hoping this is it for you!!!

Ooo just seen this in active convos! How exciting for you, good luck with the next million tests that you will take former poas addict myself

Oooh congratulations!! grin
How did DH take the news?

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:48:32

The only other one they had was the expensive digital one. Need to wait a bit before I can use it as I can't go yet. Plus I need to decifer the instructions (not in English). Had to put my pin in 3 times to pay for it. Kept getting it wrong and pressing the wrong buttons. The chemist was very kind.

SadPanda Tue 09-Oct-12 15:52:49

Husband doesn't know yet. He's giving lectures all afternoon so I can't contact him, although I'd want to tell him face to face anyway. I haven't even told him I suspected as I didn't want to drag him onto the rollercoaster with me. I lost my dad recently and he has been keeping it all together as me and mum fell apart. I didn't want to put more on his shoulders.

Olympicrock Tue 09-Oct-12 15:59:14

Congratulations!

ginmakesitallok Tue 09-Oct-12 16:01:31

a line is a line - even a faint one. congratulations!! smile

SoldierKatnissEverdeen Tue 09-Oct-12 16:01:53

Lovely news panda!
Congratulations.
Enjoy sharing the news with your dh. Perhaps a name change to happy panda is appropriate. smile

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 16:08:11

Thank you all so much for your kindness and support.

Makingmama Tue 09-Oct-12 16:08:42

Congratulations!!!!!! grin

juneybean Tue 09-Oct-12 16:09:11

Congratulations!!

Sorry to hear you've lost your father recently. sad
Sounds like you've got a fab DH....who'll make a fab dad in 9-ish months!

Have you planned how you'll tell him? Ooh and your mum!

Loving the name change!

Oh just seen this. I had a very very faint line to begin with. An now 30 weeks!

Do remember that digital ones are not normally as sensitive, so if that's what you've got it might not show a 'pregnant' result for a few days. The most sensitive are pink dye ones (rather than blue) and first morning urine has a higher concentration of hcg so will give a better result!

Fingers crossed for you!

QueenofNightmares Tue 09-Oct-12 16:16:38

I had a very faint line after years of trying to conceive, I'm off for my first scan tomorrow.

Congratulations! grin

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 16:24:05

The one I did first was a pink one, but done this afternoon. I say it's faint but that's compared to the control line. There's no doubt it's there though.

I've been telling my husband that I don't feel well for weeks now and using that as my excuse for having done nothing at home all day (the house is a tip at the moment). So if the digital one also shows positive, when he gets in and asks what I've done today (as he does everyday because he worried about how I've been feeling), I'll tell him "nothing, but this time I've got a bloody good excuse" and then show him the results. grin

My mum of course is going to cry and then tell every man and his dog, so I might have to keep it from her for a bit longer.

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 16:26:10

I keep looking at the result. I know it's a positive result, but I just can't believe it. It's the weirdest feeling.

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 16:28:38

I think you need to post a stick picture smile. Let us all share the joy!

phantomhairpuller Tue 09-Oct-12 16:31:48

Congratulations panda grin looks like exciting times ahead x

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 16:40:09

The digital one says pregnant 3+ which apparantly means I'm 5 or more weeks pregnant, which ties in with my rough calculations. I was in England the last week of August for my dad's funeral so I know definately I haven't had a period then or since then. I can't remember before that.

It's real isn't it? It's really real?

It is real! grin congratulations panda, you are going to be a mummy!

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 16:43:12

MainlyMaynie, to post a picture I'd have to know more about computers than how to turn it on and access the internet confused grin

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 16:45:19

Yay, it's really really real! I think 3+ is the highest it goes isn't it? So you could be more than 5 weeks too.

nannyof3 Tue 09-Oct-12 16:47:08

Ah bless grin smile

CookieRookie Tue 09-Oct-12 16:54:43

Oh I LOOOOOOVE threads like this! grin

Huge congratulations.

thanks (decaf brew)

WingDefence Tue 09-Oct-12 16:57:37

I've just found your thread Panda - congratulations!!! grin

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 17:03:08

I'm going to guess you're 8 weeks, if you've been feeling ill for a few weeks and can't remember a period since August. How wonderful it will be for your Mum to get this news too.

madda Tue 09-Oct-12 17:06:46

Sorry to hear you lost your dad recently OP

But a newborn in your family? That's wonderful news!

Are you ok though?

Flojo1979 Tue 09-Oct-12 17:16:11

Congratulations panda that's wonderful news. Update us when u tell DH!

TakingTheStairs Tue 09-Oct-12 17:27:54

I've just stumbled across this thread but wanted to wish you a MASSIVE congratulations. Such wonderful news after all you've been through.

Do let us know how your DH reacted (if you don't mind)

Christelle2207 Tue 09-Oct-12 17:29:35

yes do tell what dh says. congrats panda you are up the duff!!!! so pleased for you x

DinosaursOnASpaceship Tue 09-Oct-12 17:33:14

This thread has made me sob! (pregnancy hormones - you'll be the same soon!) huge congratulations!! I am so very happy for you.

DinosaursOnASpaceship Tue 09-Oct-12 17:34:18

Ps. I had all the symptoms you have and was 9 weeks when I found out I was pregnant and my clear blue said 3+ too so here's hoping you are quite far along!

You made me well up, I'm that chuffed for you as your op sounded so sad. Now chuck some of that baby dust bleurgh my way grin
Congratulations!

I've just re read your thread and welled up again. <twat emoticon>

NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata Tue 09-Oct-12 17:37:15

Lovely! Congratulations grin

nananaps Tue 09-Oct-12 17:38:17

SO it is time for your miracle Panda...

Pats bench...come and sit down with me on the miracle bench, its lush here...

grin
[grin
grin

sittinginthesun Tue 09-Oct-12 17:39:44

Oh, congratulations! What wonderful news.

piratecat Tue 09-Oct-12 17:47:43

sooooooooooooooo pleased for you grin grin

Huge congratulations OP!!

mynameis Tue 09-Oct-12 17:51:15

What a lovely lovely thread. Big congratulations to you grin

Funnylittleturkishdelight Tue 09-Oct-12 17:51:49

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

What a lovely piece of news for you! This thread has made me really smile!

Brodicea Tue 09-Oct-12 17:54:11

grin

Lauzifer Tue 09-Oct-12 18:00:43

What a lovely thread. Congratulations panda x grin

aufaniae Tue 09-Oct-12 18:06:42

A faint line is a line! Congratulations! grin grin

tiredteddy Tue 09-Oct-12 18:10:45

Ahh I just read you thread. Firstly congratulations. I love your name change to daringtohopepanda hopefully when you feel a bit more confident you can name change again to... pregnantpanda grin

beckslovestimmy Tue 09-Oct-12 18:13:09

A huge congratulations. The best bit about telling my husband was seeing his face and his tears. For someone who always said he wasn't that bothered and never showed his emotions he had the biggest grin and tears of joy, don't think he stopped smiling for days! You've got so many great moments to experience now, your scans, hearing the heart beat, feeling those first kicks:movements gringringringringringrin so pleased for you xxxx

Pipbin Tue 09-Oct-12 18:15:56

Sat here in tears, such a hopeful story.

Dillydollydaydream Tue 09-Oct-12 18:18:28

Great news. Congratulations!

WipsGlitter Tue 09-Oct-12 18:19:25

sniff

Lovely thread. Congratulations.

InTheNightGarden Tue 09-Oct-12 18:22:55

awww, started reading and felt really sorry for you sad and just hoped you were!

then I skipped through a bit of the responses to find your news of the positive test!!! probably put the biggest smile on my face all dayyyy!! CONGRATULATIONS smile super happy for you smile

blondebaby111 Tue 09-Oct-12 18:27:16

omg what a lovely thread. Reading this has given me and proberly a few others hope. A massive congrats to you...i'm welling up now!!! Bet you can't wait ti share this news with hubby smile

essexmumma Tue 09-Oct-12 18:30:13

This is the best thread I have seen in so long. Congratulations OP. grin

willitbe Tue 09-Oct-12 19:08:44

Congratulations on your pregnancy grin this is great news. And great that you do seem to have already got half-way through the first trimester! Each step is precious as is your little one that is growing in you!

Hope that you enjoy seeing your dh face when you tell him.

RubyrooUK Tue 09-Oct-12 19:18:02

Congratulations. grin

pixiestix Tue 09-Oct-12 19:29:56

Ohhhhh, congratulations Panda. What wonderful, wonderful news smile

Ahhhtetley Tue 09-Oct-12 19:33:00

I love threads like this grin congratulations

Happybunny12 Tue 09-Oct-12 19:34:21

This made me cry! I have a newborn so I did the positive poas thing pretty recently so this brought it all back- how wonderful for you! Exciting times ahead!

backinaminute Tue 09-Oct-12 19:35:04

Congratulations. This is so lovely. I can't wait to hear your dp's reaction grin

JollyJack Tue 09-Oct-12 19:37:38

Congratulations! Babies are wonderful smile hope your dp isn't too shocked!

Bearface Tue 09-Oct-12 19:40:03

Hello - I'm a total newbie here but I've been rading the thread as I'm TTC and have just been so sad myself today and thought I'd look for some support from other people who know what it's like. BUT I'm soooo sooo pleased for you, Panda! It's really given me, and I'm sure others, hope that one day it will happen for us too. But right now - what a wonderful day for you. x

Bearface Tue 09-Oct-12 19:40:28

reading not rading!

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 20:08:34

I told him. He looks sort of stunned but very happy. He's such a bloke though. The first thing he said was that he could now buy the fantastic sledge he saw (with brakes and everything) in the supermarket last week grin

Another symptom I've had for the last week and a half is a bit of pubic pain (spd?), particularly when getting up out of a chair and when driving. Does this mean I'm further along than I thought? Or can it come on at any point?

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 20:11:54

And thank you for all the kind words again everyone.

piratecat Tue 09-Oct-12 20:26:24

this is so great. take it easy op.

i had spd from 28 weeks. i had a subsequent pregnancy, where i got a twinge at 7 weeks.

so pleased for you. i know it's not the same but i tried for 3 yrs, and we were so shocked but happy.x

MainlyMaynie Tue 09-Oct-12 20:54:37

Haha, sledges are important!

My SPD had started by 8 weeks, but that seems to be at the very early end of when it starts. What's the procedure where you are, Dr appointment or straight to midwife?

DaringToHopePanda Tue 09-Oct-12 21:08:56

Straight to midwife I think. I'm going to ring the national advice line tomorrow and find out.

Gosh there were a lot of us watching this thread! grin my pregnancy radar was going bleep bleep bleep reading your OP, so pleased to see it was right!! Congratulations!

MaryZed Tue 09-Oct-12 21:20:37

Oh, I'm so pleased for you smile. And your dh. What wonderful news.

HairyToothbrush Tue 09-Oct-12 21:28:00

So pleased for you!!! Brilliant news. I love these kind of threads grin

workingonitagain Wed 10-Oct-12 13:27:37

Just read this thread and what a wonderful story. congratulation and hope you have a lovely pregnancy x

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Wed 10-Oct-12 13:37:00

So I have an appointment with the midwife on Monday and I spent early this morning familiarising myself with the bottom of the toilet bowl. Now I believe it.

Awww congrats again pregnantpanda!! thanks

Oooh love the latest name change even more! grin

Plain biscuits & ginger (or even ginger biscuits) helped me when I was feeling nauseous (I didn't ever have morning sickness, just sea sick feeling).
Do you think DH will come with the sledge tonight!?

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Wed 10-Oct-12 13:59:47

I dread to think what he'll come home with. He was talking about getting another terrier this morning, claiming the existing one will be sad and lonely when the baby comes. Further suspicious prying revealed his true reasoning ... one terrier wouldn't be enough to pull a sledge with a child on it, but 2 might do it. hmm

We live in a part of the world where there is several feet of snow from November through until March. I'm thinking 'nice pram to transport the baby'. He's thinking 'terrier driven dog sled to transport the baby'. But at least he's excited and planning ahead in his own slightly alarming way.

Bearface Wed 10-Oct-12 14:42:41

Great new name!

This thread is making me cry. You must be so happy.

TakingTheStairs Wed 10-Oct-12 15:12:55

Panda your DH's line of thinking is hilarious!

Does he have this in mind ?It's more likely to be this!!
Tell him that this would be more realistic for a couple of years grin

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Wed 10-Oct-12 18:12:25

I think he has the first in mind, will no doubt end up with the second, and if he sees the third it's game over for any pram I may want. grin

curiousgeorgie Wed 10-Oct-12 20:04:09

Congratulations!! I read the thread a few days ago and am so happy to find it again and see your happy happy news!!

grin

Clairey2012 Wed 10-Oct-12 21:28:24

cud I join in please. Oooh exciting. Keep hoping to get that second line mesel. Advice anyone, has anyone came off cerrazette? I came off it 11weeks ago, had 1af ova 6weeks ago had nothing since so im like 3weeks lateany my nipples are v sore n having cramps, so confused n docs were v limited on wot was going on. Hmmmmm? Any ideas, done a test last week, negative.

Liveinthepresent Wed 10-Oct-12 22:32:33

Congratulations - amazing these little miracles - a great thread to round off my ( dull) day.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Mon 15-Oct-12 14:11:00

I just got back from the midwife. She calculates that I'm 11 or 12 weeks gone. YIKES! shock

shock
WOW!!
Any longer & we would've seen you pop up on 'I didn't know I was pregnant'!!
What's your due date?

ps. Terrier driven sled sounds awesome, for a pregnant lady, would be a great way to rock up to hospital in labour!

lambethlil Mon 15-Oct-12 14:18:14

grin
Fantastic news!

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Mon 15-Oct-12 14:26:28

She's put due date down provisionally as 30th April but it will be confirmed at the 18 week scan. They don't do the dating scan here.

PoppadomPreach Mon 15-Oct-12 14:28:51

Ace thread! Love it! Many, many congratulations!!!

Flojo1979 Mon 15-Oct-12 14:55:11

Awww waw congratulations!

TakingTheStairs Mon 15-Oct-12 15:50:27

Wow! That's fantastic Panda, congratulations again.

aufaniae Mon 15-Oct-12 16:21:00

Congratulations Panda! thanks

Come join us on the April ante natal thread, if you fancy it? Would be lovely to see you there.

We're all very nice, honest smile

MainlyMaynie Mon 15-Oct-12 18:43:03

Wow, fantastic news! Only 6 weeks to go to your scan too.

LexiLoganberry Tue 16-Oct-12 10:53:48

What a lovely thread, so pleased for you and your DH

Huge congatulations to you both.

badmumalert Fri 19-Oct-12 11:11:47

I have been wathcing this thread - such a happy exciting thread too. Congratulations Mr & Mrs Panda - and 11-12 weeks gone already!!!!

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