Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake! Part

(1000 Posts)
Dorita75 Mon 03-Sep-12 20:28:18

Hi, thought I'd start the new thread. This is a brilliant thread for anyone trying to conceive or who has got a bfp after mc, full of lovely ladies, fab advice and a lovely place to metal, so called because someone said metal instead of mental and the rest is history......

Yay new thread! smile

I shall mark my place by passing around some apple crumble if anyone would like...?

ScardyNinja Mon 03-Sep-12 20:46:32

Can I poke my head in? Had MMC in July, no AF and now a BFP CBD says 3+ weeks and am terrified! Have 1 DD already and no idea how far along I am, and I go on holiday on Friday! Should I ring the doctor before I go or after?

Quicksie Mon 03-Sep-12 20:50:07

Well done Dorita hopefully you will get the luck for starting a new thread! Fingers crossed for you.

possom did you know?!

Scardy you are very welcome, you have brought some instant good news to the thread! If I was you, I would ring before you go, just so they have got you in the system for appointments etc. My GP wouldn't want to see me, probably would just try to work out my dates over the phone if possible.

wilderumpus Mon 03-Sep-12 21:19:16

thanks dorita!

crumble backward! nom, I'm in smile great scan story, hurrah.

<squidges bum into thread, nice and comfy>

welcome scardy. hope you doing ok and not too scared?

quicksie! have you tested at all yet?! Inspire me! good luck - do you have any, ahem, symptoms?!

Quicksie Mon 03-Sep-12 21:26:07

Ha ha wilde yes every symptom going of course! Which means I am probably very foolishly kidding myself!

Convinced myself I had ' metal mouth' earlier, tasted like I was sucking a penny! But that could just be staffroom breath! Also got very tingly nipples but that could be Aunt Flo gearing up for a visit.

I am scared to test incase I am being a fool...

Welcome and congrats to scardy

So pleased for you backward sounds like a great scan.

Good luck quicksie

I'm still plodding along 24+2 and enjoying every wriggle, having the odd brief metal still ofc, but dared to start organising myself and the new pram mattress arrived today so I dared get the pram in a check it fitted correctly and feel a bit excited.

JaffaSnaffle Tue 04-Sep-12 07:43:35

Marking place...

MumTumWanted Tue 04-Sep-12 07:47:20

Me to .....
Decaf coffee tea orange juice and some yummy blueberry muffins anyone?

First day of school run ..... Dd is 12 ... But I still drive her .... Oh the fun of living rural!

Good luck for anyone that needs it today on I phone so no hope if scrolling back between two threads !

chookford Tue 04-Sep-12 09:16:07

Hi Ladies..

Is it ok if I join too?! Suffered a mmc in July and ttc now, did a test yesterday but it was a bfn trying not to be too down about it as its only been 6 weeks... just nice to talk to people who understand what I am going through!! I have a dd who is 3 but would love another bubba to complete our family smile

wilderumpus Tue 04-Sep-12 09:19:51

hey ladies!

I got my BFP this morning! Is a good strong line on an IC at 10/11dpo. Am not very crampy, more tickly twinges, burny boobs and in a really good mood so thought I would do it (even though I knew it would be so faint/non existent this early) and went back to look and it was positive smile smile

Can't believe it smile I had inklings all month though because my big pg symptom is always a really watery mouth that, bizarrely, I get straight away. It's gross and makes me have to, ahem, spit or feel sick.

Just got to sit tight and hope AF doesn't come. hoping I don't jinx myself (?) but this month feels better than the other two pgs, only twingy but not nasty cramps or backache and I just feel well. Fingers are so crossed. so very crossed.

good luck quicksie!

MumTumWanted Tue 04-Sep-12 09:25:04

gringringringringrinyay Wilde !!!!!!

pebspop Tue 04-Sep-12 09:26:21

nice one wilde hope this is the one!

chookford Tue 04-Sep-12 09:26:56

Hi Wilder

Congrats that is fabulous news, soory I am new so I dont know your history but I have everything crossed for you that this one has a happy ending!!! x

Welcome chook I hope you get that BFP soon x

Wilde brilliant news! grin Fingers crossed you have a smooth pregnancy.

I've got maternity jeans on today. So comfy! Bliss...

chookford Tue 04-Sep-12 10:13:40

Hi Possom

Thank you, and congrats on your bump and the new comfy jeans!! I remember that feeling of utter relief when things fit properly! grin

wilderumpus Tue 04-Sep-12 10:45:16

hi chook, sorry we x posted earlier. Last thing you probably want is someone shouting their pg news in your ear blush. terrible timing. Am so sorry to hear about your mmc, I had one of those too back in April. Hope you are doing ok and you will find a very welcome home here with lots of ears if you so need it smile

thanks for the congrats peeps. confirmed with frer. they are sitting next to me on my pad by the laptop so I can keep reassuring myself is real... Starting to metal; please, please stay away bad cramps. Must make it to Fri and miss AF... eek.

Congratulations wilde x

chookford Tue 04-Sep-12 11:04:27

Hi Wilde

No problem, it is always nice to hear that other women have happy endings after the misery of a m/c or mmc! It is great news! Will keep everything crossed that this one is a sticky one! x

Quicksie Tue 04-Sep-12 17:27:48

wilde that is brilliant! You have made my day! So exciting!
chook you are very welcome here. I had a mmc in april and the ladies on here have been a fantastic support. sorry you have had this shite experience but at least a neg test means your hormones are back to normal.

Jollyb Tue 04-Sep-12 17:30:55

Coooeee everyone. Welcome to the newcomers - sorry to hear about your recent MCs but am sure you'll find some comfort, reassurance and even amusement in this thread.

Fantastic news Wilde - couldn't remember whether you were on a TTC break still - obviously not!!

Pebs - plodding along sounds fine. Good luck for next scan.

Just started a new job - back at the hospital where I was working when DD was conceived so hoping there is 'something in the water' there.

Be in touch soon x

Quicksie Tue 04-Sep-12 17:35:19

Arghhhh my phone is rubbish!

Meant to also say state keep on truckin` and possom pregnancy jeans sound great. I could do with some of those for after a big dinner!

Hello to everyone else, I still haven't tested but no af yet either! If tomorrow is the same I won't be able to contain myself much longer and will have to find a chemists sufficiently far enough away from school... parents seem to work in chemists or supermarkets!

Quicksie Tue 04-Sep-12 17:37:09

jolly congrats on the job and fingers crossed for the water!

wilderumpus Tue 04-Sep-12 17:38:27

whispers <test quicksie!> good luck!

good luck in your new job jolly

Good luck quicksie

I have my GTT tomorrow first thing, I'm dreading it, made me feel awful when pg with dd. <Feels sorry for self>

wilderumpus Tue 04-Sep-12 19:16:55

good luck with the GTT state brew

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 04-Sep-12 19:17:25

marking place
and congrats to wilde! I got excessive saliva with DD - bloody horrible!

hi to chook and scardy!

MumTumWanted Tue 04-Sep-12 19:20:25

Ooo good luck quicksie smile

I'm not so quietly metalling .... '6' week scan tomorrow ..... The last 3 mc we never got as far as a heartbeat. I'm just terrified this is the same . I guess I've pinned my hopes on the b vits the pregnacare the d vits and the progesterone and aspirin being my saviours. Feel if even with all that if it still hasn't helped then I've got to give up.....
Seems ridiculous but I've kind set myself up that if there's a hb all will be fine thereafter. Ridiculous I know as so much more can go wrong but I feel if I can just get this far then at least we got one step further this time ...... Though that's not to say I won't still metal of course wink as i guess then its just dog year days until the next scan etc. oh how u long for the naivety of my first highly uneventful pregnancy if 13 years ago.....
please please let's find a hb tomorrow [ crosses fingers toes legs arms and everything else emoticon]

Dorita75 Tue 04-Sep-12 19:40:33

Congrats wilderumpus!

Hi scardy, welcome indeed! I don't want to be negative but just need to ask, have you had a negative result since your mc or is this the first test you’ve done? It does sound like you’re pg but those hormones can stick around after mc, I didn’t get a negative until a month after my erpc which was a right pisser!

Welcome chookford, you’re in a good place here smile

Thanks Quicksie, here’s hoping the good luck comes my way! Would have been having a baby this week if it hadn’t gone tits up back in February so would like some baby dust

Mumtum, as you say, we know so much can go wrong, but what’s hard for us to remember is that so much goes right, all the time and it’s about time you had some of that, everything crossed for you

Good luck to everyone to get what we all want x

wilderumpus Tue 04-Sep-12 19:53:42

good luck for tomorrow mumtum. everything crossed. I am just hoping to get past friday without AF and to 4+6 without major cramping which is what tipped the dr off about my blighted ovum last pg. A scan would cause a full metal jacket in this house so no need to explain! every little date/event/week passed is HUGE milestone for us!

dorita sorry to hear this would have been your due week sad Lots of luck to you!

Good luck mumtum ill keep everything crossed for you xxx

The words said on the midwives are really ringing true for me this evening, I went through my pfbs keepsake box with him as ofc being pregnant he's become very interested in babys and what he was like, my first mc was july 2010, then feb 2011 then the mmc in dec 2011, I feel like I've been pregnant for so long, waiting for this baby for years, does that make sense, thankfully its a wriggly little thing and reassuring me whilst I feel so unsettled. But looking back on ds' scan photos, and tiny clothes I remembered the innocence, the pure joy, I hope with the arrival of this one I can have that back, and let all the darkness and fear slip away.

Quicksie Tue 04-Sep-12 21:19:26

mumtum good luck for tomorrow...cliched I know but the chances are so much better after you have seen a heart beat! I know lots of people on here have not found that, but we are the unlucky few percent I guess. Also, I have heard great things on other forums about asprin. It seems to make a big difference for a lot of ladies who have had multiple MCs. Youa re doing everything right and then some.

Dorita the due date thing is hitting me hard already, well over a month away! A colleague suggested that me and DP get married on Halloween (we are a bit goth) and then someone loudly reminded her that halloween was my due date. Can't believe now that I was ever so laid back about getting to October without a hitch.

State I really hope you get your wish, my goodness you deserve it!

Midgetm Tue 04-Sep-12 23:33:22

Marking place by running round and round Wilde shouting yippee

Midgetm Wed 05-Sep-12 07:18:32

mumtum so busy marking place forgot to say good luck for the scan. The 6 week is always the worse one for me. Got everything crossed for you. Sending you positive thoughts across this here interweb.

Jollyb Wed 05-Sep-12 08:33:30

Hope everything goes well today mumtum.(love your username BTW)

Quicksie and Dorita - your posts about due dates have made me a bit melancholic this am. The due date from my second MC was mid October and so I would have been gearing up to mat leave now.

wilderumpus Wed 05-Sep-12 10:48:19

good luck today mumtum.

thanks midget smile

aw quicksie brew biscuit

I got a darker line this morning so fingers crossed this one is sticking. Symptoms feel lovely like they did with DS rather than with the BO pregnancy when they felt awful. I was so dizzy I couldn't move my head, it all felt wrong.

By the by I took baby-aspirin this month. Obviously not advocating self-medicating, for me I had two CPs and one BO under my belt in a row so couldn't see the harm in risking taking it. My sis also has hughes syndrome (?!) with her Lupus. I don't have lupus but nurses remark on my thick blood when i give blood. This could be a good thing but I thought it couldn't harm something that might be buggered anyway... oh dear, my basic and shite lack of knowledge. Only thing is now I daren't stop!

Good luck today mumtum

I survived the GTT, anyone else having them, my hospital has changed the solution we have to drink to something much easier to swallow and didn't make me feel horrendous afterwards.

Quicksie Wed 05-Sep-12 18:13:33

wilde your symptoms sound good! I have read in a few places that you can stop taking asprin after 12 weeks...but I am not sure why! I will have a look on t'internet and see if I can expand on these wild claims!

Jolly sorry we have made you feel sad! I was thinking about maternity leave today as I would have been in for about two weeks after the summer hols, then off on maternity! I had a lot of pressure on me to tell the rest of the staff about being PG, so they could advertise my post without the gossip mill starting up...really wish I had kept it to myself and I will do next time!

Glad it was alright state.

Herb crusted chicken for tea tonight, I will make you all some chicken sarnies for your pack up tomorrow!

Quicksie Wed 05-Sep-12 18:14:24

Hello to everyone else by the way!

wilderumpus Wed 05-Sep-12 18:50:48

well done state smile when will you get the results? are you worried at all?

aw thanks quicksie. I just read about it on here and found some in the cupboard and the next thing I knew... hmm

symptoms are good so far indeed! This time on the mc-pg (at 3+5) I wrote in my diary about how crampy I was and worried about mc. but I haven't had a single cramp today! Not a one! Some lovely little twinges and veeery sore boobs and a huge bloated tum. I just feel well. I can just hope about the future but for today I am pregnant. smile

Quicksie Wed 05-Sep-12 19:21:54

wilde you sound really pg! Nice one!

Sounds good wilde

mumtum hope your scan went well? Thinking of you xx

Dorita75 Wed 05-Sep-12 19:56:39

Thanks Wilderumps
Sorry for making you feel down jollyb it’s rubbish isn’t it. Hopefully I can cheer you up with my new positive attitude! I've felt really motivated to get back on the healthy lifestyle (I’d started drinking a bit too often and skipping the fruit and veg for choc...) and ordered some preseed stuff, all set to go in our house now!!
Great news on your symptoms mumtum How did the scan go?

Just hopping on to offer a hand to marrf for tomorrow - you're in my thoughts my lovely.

And, mumtum really hoping you've had some good news too.

ConfusedMumDotCom Wed 05-Sep-12 20:45:21

Hoorah! Congratulations wilde ((hugs))

I hope everything went well today mumtum

All well here. I'm now 14 weeks - no idea where the time has gone.

sets out tray of tea and chocolate biscuits

Jollyb Wed 05-Sep-12 20:48:14

Don't worry girls I'm ok. it's funny but I haven't spent too much time thinking about my due dates. Probably best as there's so many of them now!

Trying the healthy lifestyle approach too. Partly because the one big difference between me now and me 2 1/2 years ago when I got pregnant with my daughter - is that I was fit then and 1 1/2 stone lighter. Might have to invest in some seed too - can you get it on Amazon?!!

Martha - hope you get some answers tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Jollyb Wed 05-Sep-12 20:49:02

Goodness that's flown confused. Seems like yesterday you got your BFP

oo00PIXIE00oo Wed 05-Sep-12 21:53:37

Hi ladies just making my mark so I know I can always find you!

Congrats wilde smile fingers cross quicksie xx

My news whispers my bleeding seems to have stopped since my complete embarrassment in Colchester on Saturday (fingers crossed) hopefully the healing process can begin now hmm

We are not sure about TTC for the next few months - on the one hand I have been pg twice this year (total of 5 months) to no avail and my body physically, mentally and emotionally needs a break - on the other hand at 42 I'm no spring chicken blush.

Will pop back in a few days to see how everyone is xx

JaffaSnaffle Wed 05-Sep-12 22:24:44

Thinking if you tomorrow Martha....

mumtum, also thinking of you - hope scan went well today

AlmondAvocado Wed 05-Sep-12 22:39:39


Sorry to jump in on the thread but was hoping for some advice/reassurance. I had a mc in July and I still haven't had my AF (CD40 tomor). Should I be worried? I was only 6.5 weeks of and had a scan to show everything had gone...

Stressing as we can't get on with TTC until the damn thing comes!!

Not really to worried wilde I'm finding this pregnancy really easy whereas I felt rotten with the big two and all mc pregnancys, I only have the test as I have a higher than average BMI, it came back clear with the big two aswell so fingers crossed. I don't say no to any tests though that carry no risk to wriggler, I'm a 'knowledge is power' type of person wrt pregnancy.

Glad things are going well for you wilde I generally just felt better this time smile x

That's gone so quick confused smile

Glad things seem to have settled down pixie do you live in colchester? I'm not too far from there, and we LOVE the zoo grin

Hope mumtum is ok x

Piemistress Thu 06-Sep-12 07:14:29

An old poster hopping on to hand hold with martha today xx

Am also wondering if poppyjen has had her baby yet ?!

Hugs to all x

MumTumWanted Thu 06-Sep-12 07:29:01

Morning all
Martha I have everything crossed that u get some good news today xxxxxxx

Afm .... We have a hb smile a good strong one and my dates are perfect so 6+6 today. I cried dh cried even the sonographer seemed choked. Had to wait for me to stop shaking to measure the h b. I'm now metalling even more omg I'm pregnant didn't wouldn't believe it till yesterday. Thank you ladies for all your thoughts and best wishes . I'm now not giving up the aspirin vits or cyclogest for anyone wink

Jollyb Thu 06-Sep-12 07:58:45

Hooray!! Great news mumtum xx

Piemistress Thu 06-Sep-12 09:03:22

So happy for you mumtum, whoop go baby!

<hugs for Pie> Hey, hey! How you doin', Lady?

mumtum Fab news!

marrf I know this is different, but the same-ish. WIth DS2, I was in hospital at 22 weeks for a bleed (placenta previa). Stayed overnight and went down the following morning for a scan to check baby/that placenta wasn't peeling away. The sonographer is very quiet. The sonographer leaves the room and comes back with someone else and points stuff out, muttering quietly so that I can't quite hear, and they both are nodding and looking concerned. Then send me back to my room!

Later a female doctor comes in and explains they've seen a problem with the baby's heart and it's not compatible with life; I need a specialist hour long scan with a certain consultant to confirm but.. and then went on to explain in detail how they would terminate.

I had to wait TWO WEEKS for that scan (and was actually in hospital the whole time as I kept bleeding) that confirmed there was NOTHING WRONG with baby's heart (bar one of the ventricle walls being ever so slightly thicker than usual).

When I think back to how I was treated it's bloody awful. But I was 23 at the time and didn't know it should/could be any different (indeed, I'm not sure the nhs knew at the time it should/could be any different - this is 15 years ago!). It was presented to me that there was definitely an 'incompatible with life' issue and that the only thing to do was terminate. No, there might be this issue so we'll check and then these are your choices.

I am really really hoping that the issues they've seen or think they've seen with your baby are not as bad as they appear. Really hoping.

Lots of love though the ether to you and DH.

Great news mumtum x

wilderumpus Thu 06-Sep-12 10:39:25

just popping in to say huge big enormous good luck today martha. x

fabulous news mumtum!!!! hurray!

pebspop Thu 06-Sep-12 11:42:56

hope everything goes ok for you today martha i am crossing my fingers that it's all been a terrible mistake.

glad to hear your news mumtum

i am going for a scan in the morning. hope everything is ok. i have no reason to worry but of course i do and can't help it. if everything is ok it will be the 12 week scan next eeekkk! very nerve wracking time for me as i had my first mc a couple of days after the 12 week scan when everyone thinks you are safe. bloody mc's spoil everything.

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 06-Sep-12 13:55:08

just popping in to say hope it goes ok today martha, thinking of you

and hi to piemistress!

and hoorah for mumtum glad it was good news

I've got my scan tomorrow, I'll be 5+1. I'm convinced it's going to be bad news, I haven't got any bleeding like with the EP but I feel a bit dizzy, though it could be stress. sad I just can't believe I could be lucky enough for it to be in the right place, pebs you're right bloody mcs (and ectopics) spoil everything! Hope we both have good news tomorrow.

Hope your ok martha x

wilderumpus Thu 06-Sep-12 15:05:19

good luck for scans tomorrow pebs and tas.

can't believe you are 12 weeks already pebs!

pebspop Thu 06-Sep-12 15:19:43

i am only 9-10 weeks at the moment wilde. my next scan will be the 12 weeker. which makes me nervous. i will be a wreck until 20 weeks. maybe i could relax a bit after that one. fingers crossed i get that far.

wilderumpus Thu 06-Sep-12 15:24:12

ah, should stop speed reading smile Glad you aren't 12 weeks or that time just went tooooooo fast! hehe! good luck good luck!

JaffaSnaffle Thu 06-Sep-12 17:23:36

mumtum! I'm absolutely delighted for you.

martha, I'm thinking about you and have been so much of the day. I hope you have had good news. X

mumtum so delighted to read your news! grin

martha thinking of you, hope all is ok xx

manda that's terrible!

Dorita75 Thu 06-Sep-12 20:01:08

Congratulations mumtum! Great news smile

almondavocado you're in the WTF cycle where anything can happen! 40 days isn't unusual (nothing is 'normal' in the time after a mc) and AF will probably arrive in a week or so. I'm a 25day cycle girl and mine was about 35 days after erpc. Once it did come it lasted about 5 days, then after another 8 days I got another AF for about 7 days! After that I returned to 25 days.

Hello to everyone else, so many names, I am in awe of those of you who's brains remember names and what's going on with everyone!

Can't remember who asked about preseed but yes, you can get it on Amazon! Mine arrived today, here's the link if you want to read about it yourself. Not sure if it'll work but my SIL gave up alcohol, used preseed and would lie with her legs up in the air and is now preggers with number 2, I have my fingers crossed!

Polka2 Thu 06-Sep-12 20:08:56

wilde sooooo excited congrats!

martha how did today go? Thinking of you.

Welcome to the new ladies so sorry you find yourself herewink

Well I'm day 26 on a usually bang on 30 day cycle and had a tiny weeny bit of pinky blood when I wiprd and have had nothing since, do u ladies think its the dreaded AF or possibly ( straw clutching) implantation????

Polka2 Thu 06-Sep-12 20:11:38

Ooooo mumtum great news on the scan too, must have been reassuring wink

Dorita75 Thu 06-Sep-12 20:18:24

Oh blimey polka I was in the same position this month, had blood when wiped on day 22 (25 days usually) and ended up just being 3 days early (that never happens) I had massive hopes for it being implantation! It could be anything couldn't it confused but lets all keep our fingers crossed it is implantation for you!

Polka2 Thu 06-Sep-12 20:24:57

Thanks dorita I know I'm fooling myself but just SOOOOOO want it to be bfp this would have been my due date month-fingers and toes crossedwink

MissCoffeeNWine Thu 06-Sep-12 20:51:11

Thinking of Martha today. Good news mumtum and wilde grin

Hello manda and pie!

Good luck tomorrow tas. Sorry about the anniversary Polka.

Well, I have news - Little Miss Coffee is out and in my arms. She was really in there all along. I think I have stopped metalling. Maybe. She is a pretty happy chubby 8lb little thing, luckily she was able to be born at home without interference or damage (to carpets or perineums respectively).

Thank you everyone for helping me to here wine

Polka2 Thu 06-Sep-12 20:58:42

Wowsers huge congrats misscoffee incredible it gives us all hope grin

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 06-Sep-12 21:09:11

missc WHOOP WHOOP! I'm doing a jig of happiness for you! grin That is really wonderful news.

For those thinking of preseed, I used that this cycle and got my BFP, so I'm a fan!

martha been thinking of you today x

Midgetm Thu 06-Sep-12 21:15:46

missC I lick both you and mini c. Brings a tear to my over tired eye. Congratulations on surviving 9 months of metalling (63 months in dog months). You are a clever old thing aren't ya?

martha we are all thinking of you today. Come back when you can face it.

Posting from phone so can't read back any more posts and silly Pregnant brain like a sieve so best bugger off now.

Piemistress Thu 06-Sep-12 21:53:55

Welcome to the world little miss coffee! Congrats!! If my baby brain is right then we now have 5 baby girls and 2 baby boys graduating from this thread? I think poppyjen was due a couple of days ago too. DD is now 11 weeks, she was born 13.5 months after I lost mini pie.

Is the stats list still on the go? X

Dorita75 Thu 06-Sep-12 22:06:00

Congrats and well done misscoffee! You've done it!

polka same here, due date wasthis wk. Coffee&wine has given me a nice boost of feelgood tho!

JaffaSnaffle Thu 06-Sep-12 22:09:57

MissC, so pleased for you!! Such a long and stressful time, over and she is in your arms! X

Fantastic news MissC grin

i really hope martha is ok xxx

Jollyb Fri 07-Sep-12 08:29:39

Fantastic news little miss coffee. Enjoy your cuddling and snuggling xx

Hope all ok Martha

Good luck with the scan Pebs

Jollyb Fri 07-Sep-12 08:30:27

And Tas too x

Polka2 Fri 07-Sep-12 09:05:44

Oh * dorita* hugs, it's a weird tough time isn't it? So many reminders everywhere, I went to buy hb a birthday card and there seemed to be a million 'congrats it's twins' card everywhere, horribly horrid stomach lurch and I left the shop card less. sad

MarthasHarbour Fri 07-Sep-12 09:58:20

MissCoffee the biggest congratulations in the world ever - and i am so happy for you! It has been one hell of a journey for you and you truly deserve it smile

MarthasHarbour Fri 07-Sep-12 10:00:48

Sorry i couldnt write this on the same post as my happy post above.

I was scanned immediately, at some point this week the baby's heartbeat stopped and sadly died sad I need to go in tomorrow to be induced sad sad

I cant face a full post at the moment but i promise i will be back next week. We are not TTC any more as we cannot put ourselves through this heartache any longer. But i know you have all been worrying about me and i wanted you to know.

thanks thanks thanks

Midgetm Fri 07-Sep-12 10:16:24

Oh Martha. I wish I could come to you in RL and hug you till it hurt. We are all thinking of you, we all feel the pain of walking in your shoes. And right now all I am thinking is that life can be so bastard unfair. Some people get so much more than a fair share of shite. Please come back when you can face it, you will always have unconditional support on this thread. You and your family are in my thoughts and in my heart. wine and a lot more wine. I can't say anything else because I know it won't help. It just won't help.

MrsPear Fri 07-Sep-12 10:25:08

Oh my god martha i am so so sorry. I am thinking of you and your family. I really just don't have the words. thanks Of course come back and talk when are ready / if you can / want. We will always be here for you.

MrsPear Fri 07-Sep-12 10:30:56

misscoffee congrats on the birth of your daughter. wine

And i am glad to see more pregnancies announced grin

but i am also sorry that their have been more losses and new ladies have joined us sad

In mrspear land we had a mixed bag of a fetal anomny scan - baby is a boy but he has a tiny head and an average body confused and i have resistance in my arteries which could mean PET or IGUR. I have my 24 week appointment on Tuesday with consultant so we will see what he thinks. He kicks though and unlike ds the placenta is in my back so i already see little lumps tis very strange.

Martha I am so so sorry, I've met some lovely women in tge bereavement section one especially who was really supportive when I lost Jacob who found out at the 20 week scan that her baby had problems and died shortly after, If you wanted to talk to someone who has gone through a similar experiance.

Jacob was born at 19+6 and if there is anything you want to ask me about his birth/ what to expect please ask or pm me if you would rather. I'm so sorry xxxx

MissC congratulations xxxx

mrsp hope every thing is going well, I had my stitch just over 3 weeks ago and have found I'm far more anxious about it all than I expected

JaffaSnaffle Fri 07-Sep-12 11:34:54

Martha, my love, I am so terribly sorry. I will write proper message soon, but could not read and leave. Sending you such a big hug. Like moomin, I had a late miscarriage, and induction. Happy to talk to you, or just hold your hand afterwards.... So very very sad for you and your family xxxx

pebspop Fri 07-Sep-12 11:36:29

martha i was induced at 20 weeks as well. you can pm me for any details. i don't mind talking about it.

i was petrified before i went in and even resorted to ringing the samaritans as i didn't know who else to speak to.

it wasn't as bad as i expected. hope your experience is the same.

pebspop Fri 07-Sep-12 11:39:50

my scan went fine this morning. i was measuring 9+1. last time i was 7+4 but i am not too worried about the days this time. it was a different hopsital/machine/scanning person so any tiny slip of the hand could result in a couple of days out.

i am going back in 2 weeks and then having the 12 week scan in 3 weeks. the epu said i can pop in for a little scan before my 12 week scan appointment so i don't get any nasty suprises in the ante natal clinic. this is very good for me as i would be so stressed out in the waiting room surrounded by all the giddy women having nice scans.

tasmaniandevilchaser Fri 07-Sep-12 12:00:44

oh martha I'm so sorry sad, I wish I could give you a proper hug, life is so rubbish sometimes. I'm totally gutted for you. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, I hope that it goes as well as it can and the staff are kind. Hugs to you and your family.

tasmaniandevilchaser Fri 07-Sep-12 12:04:12

pebs glad you have good news and the EPU are being sensitive and offering you another scan before the 12 wk one.

I have good news too! smile - scan showed a little bean IN THE RIGHT PLACE!!!! Nothing in my tube. Everything exactly right for my dates, a sac with a yolk. One more scan in 2 wks to double check. I'm SO RELIEVED! I have been metalling and sweating at every single tiny niggle or twinge. I even took an overnight bag with me in case I had to be rushed into surgery blush. I just couldn't dare hope it would be ok, as the last few scans have been so horrendous.

PHEW! grin

pebs and taz really pleased all is going well

Think I forgot to say, we had a gender scan last week and are having a boy! Everything looks good but I'm still worried about the cervix and stitch failing, to the point of paranoia and constant checking for amniotic sac which is what happened last time. Some of that is because I'm comming up to the time when it happened last time at 18 weeks dd is only 4 days earlier than Jacobs so will be the anniversary of his birth in a few weeks

I'm thinking about paying for a private cervical scan but will see the mw next week and see if she can book me in for an nhs one, think going private may be quite expensive.

Oh, marrf I'm so sorry. Words are failing me - my heart is just crying for you; the bastard unfairness. I hope you and DH can draw strength from each other and you will reach out if there is any way any of us can help; we can listen (and you may find yourself short of ears, as it were) as sadly too many of us have had a late loss.

Yup, really crying here. <hugs>

Polka2 Fri 07-Sep-12 14:48:31

pebs and tas so delighted to hear your great news, keep well ladies but TODAY you are pregnant wink

martha I'm so terribly terribly sorry, the awful decision that faced you has been taken out of your hands, but that can't alleviate the heart ache you must be feeling, as the other ladies have said you know where we are if you ever ready to come back to us but and your family are in our thoughts xx

MrsPear Fri 07-Sep-12 15:12:47

pebs and taz i am glad your scans went well.

Sorry moomin what with the shock of martha's news everything went out of my mind. I am glad the stitch went well. I am just waiting to see the consultant to discuss the findings of the fetal scan (i had it done at 21 + 5) - not sure what to make of it. Sorry that anniversaries are coming up. I am on the count down to vibility - it is Sunday.

wilderumpus Fri 07-Sep-12 15:53:33

marthaI am so very sorry sad sad. I hope you look after yourself in this time and let the other ladies sad experiences help you through this time too. Come and let off steam or just chat whenever you need to x

wilderumpus Fri 07-Sep-12 15:59:06

missc I am so happy for you, congratulations!

well done pebs! how lovely to hear how well you are being looked after too.

and congrats tas, phew indeed!

and you are having a boy moomin! wow weee! lovely smile

good luck on the next scan mrspear, hopefully everything will right itself. Are you worried?

afm I missed my AF today, have a very strong BFP on frer and still have no cramping. all seems ok for now so am very grateful for that.

MarthasHarbour Fri 07-Sep-12 17:35:19

thank you thanks thank you thanks thank you all thanks

moomins and pebs i thought of you both actually, i may PM you in the next week. The only thing i am doing differently which may be a bit hmm is that we really dont want to see the baby, or have any tests done. The consultant was brilliant about it and made sure we were 'sure' about the decision. Maybe we are burying our heads in the sand but <please forgive me for saying this> we dont want to be the parents of a 'dead baby'. God that looks awful in print sad On the other hand i really can see that by acknowledging the baby you can move on and grieve - we really dont think we can cope with it though - does that make any sense to anyone?

I shall go over to the bereavement topic too next week. I am staying in this comfy mosh pit for a while as i truly love you all smile <hands manda some Handy Andies>

Totally shitting myself for tomorrow sad

MarthasHarbour Fri 07-Sep-12 17:36:20

I also want to jump on and congratulate all the brilliant scans and BFPs - i am also staying on here to support you all and celebrate with you - i really need some good news in my life!

Sorry i cant name check yet as my mind is foggy!

Jollyb Fri 07-Sep-12 17:47:48

Oh Martha - will be thinking of you and your husband. What a shitty few months it's been for you.

MrsPear Fri 07-Sep-12 17:53:53

Hello martha - what you said does make sense. How about through you ask the medical staff to be open minded with you - you may change your mind. Your dh may change his mind. I know this is very different but when my brother died (it was sids) my mum went to the hospital to say goodbye. My dad did not. Which in my opinion is fine because we are all different. Also can't the staff take pictures, prints etc and have them put to one side in case either of you change your mind? I will be thinking you tomorrow; take asmuch pain relief you want. Hope none of my ramblings have upset you in anyway..

MrsPear Fri 07-Sep-12 17:56:26

Wilde me and dh have no idea if we should worry or not confused we are going with the thought that he said the brain development was normal just the head size was small?! And ithere is "slight" resistance - i got the screen positive for PET and / or IGUR from the scan report!

Martha that is totally understandable, I know some women who the hospital has taken footprints and pics for to keep in the notes incase they want to see them in the future. I didn't need anything because of the problems with the cervix but I know they will give you whatever pain relief you need/want. Will be thinking of you xx

mrsp hope all goes well with the next scan. Must feel good to be near viability, I still have 7 weeks to go and it seems like forever

pebspop Fri 07-Sep-12 18:28:49

martha i didn't see my baby either so don't worry about that. the midwife was really careful to make sure i (or dh) couldn't see anything.

when i came home from 20 week scan i didn't really know what to expect when i went to hospital. i started reading on here about women in similar situations who had held and named their babies. i was freaking out as i didn't want to do any of that. i rang the hospital and the midwife who answered told me i would want to at the time and everyone does. i was really freaking out. when i went to hospital the midwife who looked after me was lovely and she said to keep an open mind but she would look and let me know if it was something i would want to see or not. as my baby had died a couple of weeks previous she said not to look so the decision was taken away luckily for me. i did ask about the sex though as i thought it might come up at some point in the future and it was on the post mortem report so i might have got a nasty shock later on.

i donated the baby to research so there wasn't a funeral or anything to worry about. i sometimes feel a bit bad that i did that but i really didn't want to do anything else and it might help others like me in the future.

i didn;t name the baby as i have a baby name lined up for a boy and didn't want to 'waste' it IYSWIM. that sounds terrible...

i probably sound a bit cold hearted but it's the way i deal with things and it worked out best for me. i wasn't made to feel that i was doing the wrong or right thing. it is up to you how to deal with everything.

pm me if you want to know any other details

Midgetm Fri 07-Sep-12 18:37:38

Martha So gald you still want to come here - as we very much want to have you. The mosh pit VIP area is exclusively yours right now. I have to say I have thought about what I would do and I think I would feel the same. I think the alternative would be too much - maybe that is denial or maybe self preservation - they can be flip sides of the same coin. Great advice from Moomin of having a back up plan just in case you change your mind though. If interweb love could lift you up and take you through the pain of tomorrow that is exactly what would be happening right now. You have been in my thoughts all day and will remain there. There but for the grace of god go I (and I don't even believe in him but you get my gist).

So much mixed emotion on this thread as always but today it seems especially pertinent. I am crying for Martha but dancing for Tas, Pebs and Moomin. Just goes to show though that we are all here for each other - regardless of the news being good or bad. An extra special dance for Tas - the relief of being in the right place is an excellent start after all you have been through.

MrsP I had PET and IUGR with DD - although tiny she was perfectly formed although all that prodding and monitoring is a pain - hope you get more info soon.

Wilde Fingers crossed for you.

Anyways I have to shoot off but didn't want to go without sending you all an extra special metallers hug - I think we all need it today.

MissCoffeeNWine Fri 07-Sep-12 18:42:49

Martha I am so so sorry sad So many of us have been there and it's just not fair. I've spoken about my induction before, similar situation, so again if you need anything, just send a mesage. I am sorry it has to be this way, don't feel pressured into decisions now. Know that even if they take him away you can ask to have him brought back if you change your mind and that is okay to do. The process for me was not physically hard, I hope for similar for you and a peaceful experience. I am thinking of you.

Oh Martha I'm just devastated for you. Lots of love thanks xxx

marff <takes Handy Andie>


Warning to those feeling sensitive, I go into a bit of detail about my induction


When I found out that the baby was too big/far along to simply have an erpc I was terrified - I felt sure beyond everything that I did not want to see the baby. I just wanted to be able to go to sleep and when I woke up it would be over (ah, naivety! Gotta love it!). I couldn't bear the idea of catching a glimpse by accident. Wouldn't it be awful to actually see? To be confronted with, as you say, a dead baby? Yes. It would.

Although I quickly accepted I had no choice other than to be induced but resolved to 'avert my eyes' and made it clear I wouldn't, couldn't look at the baby. I was reassured I wouldn't see and that was fine.

When it came to it though, I was absolutely compelled to look - he was born in a blot clot the size of a football (I know that sounds unbelievable/an exaggeration but it's not) and all I could see was the tiny cord coming from it to me... the nurse clamped/cut it and all I kept frantically saying was 'I DO want to see, I do want to see my baby'

She reassured me as she left the room that she'd bring the baby back and then I crashed. Once I was stable enough, she bought him back in, cleaned up, in a tiny basket and I felt such an incredible peace. It was so right to be with him. How could I have wished it any other way?

The thing is, we don't know how we will feel at the time. We only know how it feels right now. And ANY reaction, ANY way of dealing with it to get through is is the way you must go with at the time.

I urge you to take a camera, marff. The staff on my unit had a camera available to take pictures (as advised further up, have pictures/prints taken if you still feel you don't want to see at the time as that feeling may change with time) but it didn't have any memory, or batteries, or something... either way, they couldn't do it for me. So I did it the next day myself after DF bought my camera in but he'd already deteriorated a little in the time that had passed and I'm a but sad that my pictures aren't a true reflection of how I know he looked.

I hope, for tomorrow at least, you might get to feel the way I did for my time in hospital - in a bubble of care that allowed me to get through it without falling apart. That came later! :P

Polka2 Fri 07-Sep-12 20:17:36

manda that bubble is truly a beautiful thing in a mad, bad world.

martha your poor love, my thoughts are with you and your DH. Take care, and we are all with you in spirit, any decision you and DH make is the right one. Xxx

Dorita75 Fri 07-Sep-12 21:25:54

It's so so sad that anyone has to go through this, all you ladies are so strong to share stories. Martha my thoughts will be with you along with everyone else's on here xx

MumTumWanted Fri 07-Sep-12 21:49:54

Only popped on quick to catch and oh my. Martha I cannot say how sorry I am. My head had been with you today thinking of you and hoping and now my heart goes out to you and ur dh if only I could put my arms around you I would x
Please please stay here to we all luv ya and want to be there got you hun x I've no advice as its not something I have experienced but I see sadly so many of the lovely ladies have already shown their strength and courage and can all help you through xxxx take care xxxxxx
Be brave tomorrow and I second manda if you don't feel u can see the baby now then go with it but if your feelings change tomorrow then roll with that too x

ConfusedMumDotCom Sat 08-Sep-12 01:21:37

martha. I'm so sorry. ((hugs))

ConfusedMumDotCom Sat 08-Sep-12 01:24:42

Am a bit worried. Woke for a pee and when I wiped there was bright red blood sad. I don't expect anyone is up, but don't want to worry DH as he'll need his sleep if we are spending tomorrow at A&E. I'm trying hard not to worry, but it is tough. I'm 14+4 today. So scared. sad

Jollyb Sat 08-Sep-12 06:49:10

Confused - how are things this morning? Is there any chance you could have a urinary tract infection? They can cause bright red bleeding after weeing.

Take care and let us know how you go xx

JaffaSnaffle Sat 08-Sep-12 07:27:18

Martha, I am thinking about you this morning. I think you should go with what ever is in your heart... Definitely agree with those who say ask for photos to be kept, in case you change your mind, but deeply understand this a very personal matter.

I was terrified I was going to be confronted by something monstrous, and asked MW to check. They were very good about not letting me see before then. And in the end he was heartbreakingly fine to see.

I had some pain, nothing terrible, but some and they were very generous with pain relief. If you are in any pain, ask. The MW I was with was an amazing woman, who was so very gentle and kind. I wish the same for you sweetheart.

I know this sounds a bit mundane,but bring some lovely shower gel with you. I found the shower afterwards quite cathartic. I needed that time alone.

And I don't know if this helps, but for me the induction day was not the worst of it. The worst was the day I found out. I hope the same for you.

Huge hugs.

ConfusedMumDotCom Sat 08-Sep-12 07:45:13

No more blood, just brown gunk. I'll call the midwife and ask what's best to do. Feeling a bit better, if shattered from no sleep.

Midgetm Sat 08-Sep-12 08:00:49

Martha thinking of you today my lovely. Our thoughts surround you like that big bubble.

Confused I know it's virtually impossible but keep calm. Let us know how you get on. I had a terrifying scare at 16 weeks - hope yours is just the same, unexplained bleeding. Keep in touch.

pebspop Sat 08-Sep-12 08:02:04

Hope its just a little bleed that's nothing to worry about confused. Lots of people seem to have them. It is really scary though for us mettalers.

Martha I had to go to theatre to have the placenta removed I didn't realise at the time but this is quite common so don't worry if it happens to you.

I just wanted to add to keep an open mind about seeing the baby. If the midwife would have said it was ok to look I probably would have done.

oo00PIXIE00oo Sat 08-Sep-12 08:25:08

Thought I would pop on to see how everyone is and I'm sat here crying sad

Big hugs and love martha I don't know what to say but I'm so sorry xx

confused how are you this morning??

Well done to all the good news stories out there state I'm not in Colchester about 20 miles away in a small village but Colchester EPU is my 'local'.

pixies life is a bit confusing a the mo confused not really sure what my body is up too ...........

JaffaSnaffle Sat 08-Sep-12 08:45:52

Confused glad the red blood has gone. Hope you get good advice, and that you get good news today.

pebs tas, I never congratulated either of you on your good news.

pixie, hope you're ok. Have you stopped your random bleeds?

I'm ok at the moment. Still metalling about kicks, I think I would be happiest if I was permanently being whacked from within... But getting quite big now. Have terrible heartburn and I'm very tired. With DD I moaned about these a lot. Now I'm so bloody grateful.

oo00PIXIE00oo Sat 08-Sep-12 09:02:28

Hi jaffa yes since my embarrassing moment last week no more bleeding fingers crossed smile

Jollyb Sat 08-Sep-12 09:16:40

Thinking of you and your husband Martha. Xx

MumTumWanted Sat 08-Sep-12 09:17:56

Thinking of u today Martha hope all goes as well as it can xxx

Confused defo ring the midwife to get some advice if nothing else it may be enough to calm the metalling xxxx

wilderumpus Sat 08-Sep-12 09:23:40

thinking of you today martha thanks. I haven't had personal expericence of this situation but know someone who has, and would like to gently but firmly echo the other ladies' suggestions of taking a camera. Even if you don't want to know, even if you don't want to then, the MWs can take some pics, have a print of you child's footprint and further down the line, when you are able you might be curious... and can open your memory box and see your baby. In time you might want that, and if you don't just never look in the box. I hope it was ok to say that.

pixie I hope you are ok. Is anything bothering you in particular? has the bleeding stopped for a while now? Hope so!

good luck confused I hope it is just one of those things. hope the MW looks after you ok.

jaffa I know what you mean about liking even the tricky side of being pg. I was up three times in the night to go to the loo and up early this morning as I couldn't sleep because of pg insomnia and couldn't be happier about it. I didn't have this with the baby I miscarried but did with DS so it only reassures me. Is weird when peeps on the AN board are whiny about it (or being pg at all!)

MumTumWanted Sat 08-Sep-12 09:27:01

Wilde Ive pg insomnia to And constant all day nausea nothing I do makes it go away but oddly it comforts me with dd I had sickness the entire 9 months with my 3 mcs not a lot at all so like u smile in a weird way hmm

marrf holding you and DH in my thoughts and heart.

(I also was not around for pebs wild tas et al (there's a lot of you!) all getting your magical bfps - many congrats ladies, here's another one wishing it all goes swimmingly for you!)

confused I hope you get checked out today but I would be inclined to think you might have a low laying placenta... In any case, it's good news that there's no more red blood.

ConfusedMumDotCom Sat 08-Sep-12 10:38:55

Thanks everyone.

I phoned the midwife who said to only come in if the bleeding starts again. manda you may be right. At my 12 wk scan they mentioned the placenta being low and anteria (sp?), so I think that may be it. With my mc I didn't feel pg and knew something was wrong. This seems different, so will be positive.

MrsPear Sat 08-Sep-12 11:37:25

Just popped on to say martha and dh you are both in my thoughts. thanks

MrsPear Sat 08-Sep-12 11:38:05

confused i had a similar thing at 11 weeks any chance of a reassurance scan?

confused did you mention to the midwife that your placenta was noted as low? Her knowing that might change the advice she gives you.

I've had previa twice right up until the end of pregnancy when the placenta had finally moved enough for a vaginal birth (DS2 kept us guessing until 36 weeks when it was still just touching the os...). Five hospital stays with DS2 and three with DS3. My hospital likes to keep you for 24 hours with no fresh blood. I was also advised 'pelvic rest' (ie no sex!).

Anyway, perhaps just give them a call back with the extra info if you didn't mention it before? Unfortunately, many of the health professionals won't take the bleeds too seriously until you are 20 weeks (on the edge of viability in their eyes) but it's still worth a call imho.

Thinking of martha and her DH today x

Missgiraffe1 Sat 08-Sep-12 20:36:04

Oh martha I can't even begin to say how sorry I am to hear your news. I'm struggling to find the right words so will just say that you & your dh are very much in my thoughts &prayers. X

snorkmaiden2 Sat 08-Sep-12 21:05:47

Hello, can I join in please. I need somewhere to hide....

Attempting to ttc#3 but am in the marvellous position of being pg more times with no baby after 9 months than pg with baby. Last mc was 1st July at 11 weeks. Was really pretty terrible so need tons of handholding.

Have been lurking for a little while - partly was too worried about joining, partly couldn't get my bloody sign-up to work! I think my cycles are still a bit messy so not sure when I'm due (usually 28 days but last cycle was 24 with days of spotting before which I have never had in my life). Pretty sure I oved a couple of days ago and we did manage a shag that night so we'll see. I'm quite good at getting pg I'm just crap at staying pg.

I know it might not mean much Martha coming from a stranger but I cried for you last night and really hope you're being well looked after

Piemistress Sat 08-Sep-12 21:33:45

My thoughts and tears are with you Martha and your DH. I was thinking of you today and hoping you were as ok as can be given what you are going through. I am sending love and prayers to you xxx

tasmaniandevilchaser Sat 08-Sep-12 23:32:56

martha hope it went as well as it could today, I've been thinking of you, sending you lots of love xxx

Dorita75 Sun 09-Sep-12 09:11:06

Welcome snorkmaiden you're amongst friends here smile I'm sorry about your story, let's hope the happy ending comes soon x

Martha I hope you're ok lovely x

Quicksie Sun 09-Sep-12 09:24:18

martha I am thinking of you this weekend, I am so sorry.

Quicksie Sun 09-Sep-12 09:26:58

Welcome snorkmaiden sorry you are here, but glad too iyswim! The ladies here are amazingly supportive and you won't regret signing up!

wilderumpus Sun 09-Sep-12 10:20:24

martha hope yesterday was kind to you. x

welcome snorkmaiden. sorry about your mc. hope you are ok.

Arf I have had some AF type mild cramping last night when I tried to sleep and again a bit this morning and have decided is all over sad Am reet sad today. I just hope if this pg is over i miscarry soon and don't carry on for two months as my body keeps on going with it all for no fecking reason like last time sad

I have terrible ahem, constipation so getting some peppermint tea and hoping that might be causeing my womb-ache! not likely. 4+2 today.

MarthasHarbour Sun 09-Sep-12 11:06:41

sorry i cannot name check everyone, will catch up soon however:

welcome snorks (can i call you that? i have nicknamed you already grin) thank you for your thoughts, you are not a stranger on here

confused keeping everything crossed for you, it all sounds promising though

holding wildes hand so tightly <ouch> i am sooo hoping it is not over yet, keeping everything crossed for you too.

Thank you all for your thoughts, wishes, story sharing and most of all love. Manda i appreciate you sharing your story, i can completely understand how you felt, we also had a change of heart yesterday but not on that issue.

Yesterday went ok, as well as could be expected. The morning was hard as i was in floods of tears constantly. I then looked on bloody FB as i was bored and one of my friends had posted a random pic of her with DS2 when he was born with her 2yo son sitting on the bed with her - i sobbed and sobbed - DH confiscated my phone at that point hmm

The contractions were painful but i got two shots in total of pethidine, the first shot was amazing, i managed about an hour and a half sleep, the second shot didnt really touch the sides however my waters broke around 6pm and by 6.30pm i had delivered. The delivery was actually so calm and peaceful.

Despite the MW's best efforts we decided not to look at him (yes him - we have named him too but i wont share in case of upsetting anyone). Our lovely MW's dressed him and surrounded him with flowers in the 'cold room' they have also taken pictures and are storing them in my notes to keep forever. So if i change my mind in 2 yrs time i can look smile

I was exhausted afterwards but was home by 11pm. I spent the night in my own bed and have felt no pain since my waters broke. We are both feeling ok and a little bit positive for the future.

So for our change of heart - well, seeing that pic on FB, distressing though it was, created a bit of an epiphany for me and DH. We want to TTC again smile not yet, but maybe next year, i will be 40 then so we wont take as long over it but we want to give it one last go. I will transfer my care to St Mary's Manchester as they have all the Fetal Specialists there, hopefully i would get immediate and more constant care.

So we are going to sign the forms for the Post Mortem with the bereavement midwife tomorrow, and have consented to all testing. We want to go through it with the consultant to discuss any chromosomal anomalies so that we can make an informed decision about any further TTC.

So it looks like i will be on this thread for a long while yet! I want to come back and give you all the support that you have given me. I will do a full catch up next week but i want you all to know that DH and i are feeling a lot more positive for the future. We may never have any more DCs but at least the door is not firmly closed. Those thoughts kept us calm for the rest of the day and i am convinced helped us through it.

Much love to you all thanks thanks thanks thanks

wilderumpus Sun 09-Sep-12 11:33:10

<looks around furtively>

<darts in to gove martha a big squeezy hug>

your post is so emotional and beautiful. You sound very peaceful and I hope indeed that is how you do feel. But do be careful over the next few weeks and months and take each day is it comes. As we all know too well, grief sneaks up when you least expect it but we are all here for you! Am so happy you will be around for a while yet and that you will ttc again


pebspop Sun 09-Sep-12 12:07:06

glad everything went as well as could be expected yesterday martha i am glad you have decided to ttc again. i will be keeping going until menopause until i get my baby - got a while to go though yet!

i hope manchester give you as much care next time as i am getting. i am having fortnightly scans up to 20 weeks (could go weekly but i think thats a bit much for me) with the same nurse at the epu each time. i have got a special midwife coming to visit me later today (we have been tidying the house like crazy - i think we are thinking she is going to be seeing if our house is tidy enough for a baby!!) this midwife will see me all the time through the pg and deliver the baby if i am lucky to get that far. i am hoping she will agree to come to my house every two weeks but opposite weeks to the scans so i am seeing someone every week.

i have been seen by consultant already and have got another couple of consultant appointments lined up over the next few weeks. i have been taking my injections and aspirin since bfp.

i feel very well looked after - i hope you get the same next time.

Lots of love martha, bug hugs x

ConfusedMumDotCom Sun 09-Sep-12 13:56:59

Oh martha no need to worry about me with everything you are going through. ((hugs)).

MarthasHarbour Sun 09-Sep-12 14:34:41

pebs that does sound like excellent care, how far along are you now? i was hoping that we would be given extra care if we get PG again but i wasnt expecting anything like that.

wilde we do indeed feel a bit calmer and peaceful now, poor DS is feeling it though, he doesnt know what is going on but knows that something has upset the applecart this week. He is being rather scrunchy at the moment sad

How are you both today wilde and confused ?

tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 09-Sep-12 14:54:12

martha glad that it went smoothly. And glad that you'll be around smile. I know that guilty feeling of how all these horrible situations affect our living DC. I feel like my poor DD hasn't had the best year either sad. What has helped for me is having my family look after her for a few days at a time and having them babysit so I could go to counselling. Having time and space to properly grieve all you've lost is really important.

hi to snorks (have taken to Martha's nickname for you!)

wilde how are you today? It's not over yet! Cramps and twinges could be anything, I've been a bit constipated and I was convinced I had an ectopic pg!

confused hope all is well with you

and hi to everyone else!

Welcome snorks smile

martha what a beautifully written post, I'm glad you'll be sticking around, best wishes for the future lovely. X

snorkmaiden2 Sun 09-Sep-12 15:34:32

Thanks for the warm welcome and yes, snorks is fine!

Martha, I'm glad yesterday was okay. I echo what the others said that grief is a weird thing. I burst into tears in the lighting dept at B&Q last week with no real warning. I went back to work last week and am really worried about how I'm gonna cope when there's a real life pregnancy announcement. I know this sounds arrogant but I'm struggling with the whole concept that there are other things happening in the world than my last mc and that it might not be the first thing on everyone's mind.

Does anyone know when the pg-like AF symbols bugger off. I always feel a bit sick and a bit bunged up just prior to AF but the last 2 months I've been ridiculous with it. I'm about 4dpo now and already my boobs hurt and I've mysteriously got thrush too. I'm trying to not symptom spot every 5 minutes but my body is making this really difficult. And while I'm still talking about me (sorry) how am I supposed to ever enjoy being pregnant ever again. My first mc was twins but I lost them early at 7 weeks and the mc itself was quite easy physically. This last one tho there was no sign at all that anything was wrong and it was like the baby just suddenly fell out of me. I had a bump and everything sad

snorkmaiden2 Sun 09-Sep-12 15:36:05

sorry, that was a real rambling mess

wilderumpus Sun 09-Sep-12 17:49:53

aw snork sad Here, brew and biscuit I don't know what to say. I was a total mess after my mmc for a good couple of months so am no good at saying chin up or anything. Time and cuddles will see you through in the end... (sorry, bit lame)

martha and tas thanks for looking out for me smile Have been constantly cramping all day, gave in an hour ago and got some paracetemol cause although it is mild it is doing my head in. Am miserable tbh and DH is being so patient and tells me it is just because of the mc I am making 2+2 add 5.

TMI alert! but tas I am completely bunged up this pg blush and I have NEVER had constipation in my whole life. I am going to see a dr tomorrow and might ask about something to help and maybe that will ease the cramping? It definitely feels like it is in my womb area but my whole abdo is pretty unhappy atm. I have tried dried apricots, peppermint tea, drinking lots of water, eating loads of fibre. No good! Did you feel crampy in your womble area from it? Am very embarrassed but have to ask!

hope you ok martha chuck x

wilde - lactulose is your friend wink voice of experience

wilderumpus Sun 09-Sep-12 18:42:02

thanks possom smile where do i get that from please? can I get LOADS and still be ok for pg?! grin blush

You can get it from a chemist (maybe in big supermarkets - not sure, we don't have any huge ones here!) - it's def safe to use in pregnancy and you can get it on prescription, so free. It's a softener, rather than laxative. Fabulous stuff wink

Dorita75 Sun 09-Sep-12 18:50:31

martha you are truly inspiring in the way you've dealt with yesterday, you do sound peaceful and calm and I wish you so much luck for the future xx

wilderumpus Sun 09-Sep-12 18:58:00

you are a complete star, thank you possom. Am going to, ahem, begger off with my minor wafflings now. the paracetemol has killed off the cramping pain so I have stopped mentalling and can do some work.

Jollyb Sun 09-Sep-12 19:07:37

Martha - have been thinking of you all weekend. Hope you're managing to get some rest.

Snorkmaiden - welcome. You'll be in very safe hands here!

Wilde - get the lactulose. Syrup of figs worked for me too. Constipation must be tackled ASAP. I suffered the consequences after DD's birth and it was not pleasant.

pebspop Sun 09-Sep-12 19:44:09

wilde try not to worry about the cramps. I had loads of aches (still get them about once a week) and I was worrying but then I thought I am not going to get through pg without aches and pains

Martha I am nine weeks. I have had three scans already and the midwife/consultants appointments are just starting now.

the midwife service is called caseload midwife and the sound brilliant just like a private midwife but free! I am getting it our to the late mc. it was first offered when a mw came to see me after late mc

Polka2 Sun 09-Sep-12 20:00:49

martha I'm do glad yesterday is over for you, take each day as it comes wink

wilde I really hope that you're ok and not metalling too hard, thought and hugs.

AFM well The witch turned up today just when surrounded by pregnant people and babies, dh was so great when I phoned him, but I just do wish it was our turn soon!!

tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 09-Sep-12 20:06:35

wilde I am very entertained by the thought of my "womble" area grin, I'm having a good giggle!! Seriously though constipation gave me cramps in "womble" area around 4 wks, so it's probably just that. Lactulose or fibogel should do the trick. That and loads of water.

Polka, hope it is your turn soon!

wilderumpus Sun 09-Sep-12 20:08:41

it will be your turn soon polka x

I know you are right pebs (i hope) but I thought cramps were just aches and pains last time and went to the GP happy as larry and she told me it wasn't right and cramping meant I was probably going to lose the baby. And i did. Cramping is my metal trigger iykwim.

anyway. tomorrow is a new day. sleep well all and thanks for the hand holding today I am so so grateful x

MarthasHarbour Sun 09-Sep-12 20:45:40

through my tears of grief i am PMSL at tas' 'womble' area grin

having a shitty evening tonight, not helped by neighbours son shagging his GF for frickin hours tonight followed by some post coital drum and bass hmm his parents must be at the caravan this weekend angry

do you think i can mitigate diminished responsibility if i go over and rip his face off? hmm

<channels calm buddhism and prayer>

wilde how is your constipation doing tonight then eh?

littlepinkfizz Sun 09-Sep-12 20:55:08

Can I sneak in please? Had a mc in July at 13 weeks- all quite traumatic needing blood transfusions etc . But have come out the other side but desperate to get preg again. So hard. AF due tues bit did an early response test this afternoon -bfn. But have really sore boo s which I have only got before when preg. This is 2nd cycle after mc so maybe my body has just changed. Just wish I had seen those 2 pink lines sad

MarthasHarbour Sun 09-Sep-12 21:06:41

welcome littlepinkfizz and so sorry for your loss. your experience sounds rather traumatic sad but glad to see you are looking forward. Hang in there, it could be a little early to be testing, especially if your cycles are still getting back to normal. If it is not to be this month then your time will come - i promise! smile

In the meantime help yourselves to some delightful chocolate truffles my kind neighbour dropped round with earlier smile (not the shagging ones!! grin )

lurcherlover Sun 09-Sep-12 21:22:01

Hi all, I've not been on mn much this week as it's been my first week back at work (teacher) and I've been so exhausted...just been reading through the thread now though to catch up. I can't namecheck everyone as there are so many stories, but I wanted to say that martha I'm so very sorry to hear about your little boy and I hope the tests give you the answers you need.

I'm glad so many pregnancies seem to be toddling along nicely (*pebs*, state and backward). I have no idea if mine is or not, as I'm 8 weeks exactly today and although I still feel pregnant, I did last time when I had the mmc. Two more weeks until my next scan, which seems an eternity away right now.

lurcherlover Sun 09-Sep-12 21:22:46

Oh and wilde, yes yes to lactulose! I also found prune juice to be a big help smile

littlepinkfizz Sun 09-Sep-12 21:30:45

martha thank you do much for the welcome. Have only now just read through the posts and realised what you have been through- puts my episode I to perspective. You are so brave coming on here and offering genuine wordsd of kindness to everyone. < hugs> wrap yourself in love and take every second minute and hour as it comes.
You ladies seem a great bunch Am glad I've joined wink

lurcherlover Sun 09-Sep-12 21:52:27

This is a great thread littlepinkfizz - it's a really good source of support. I hope you get your bfp soon - I know the wait to be pregnant again after mc is horrible.

Midgetm Sun 09-Sep-12 21:59:57

Martha give me your address and I will go round there and belly slap the little shag machine for you. So good to hear you and DH have found some peace from the horror of this week - this is an outstanding outcome from such a shit heap of an experience. I always find some comfort from still being in the game - it is in the giving up where I always thought I would begin to loose it though of course we are all different. For you to be thinking along these lines shows such strength. Still wish I could cuddle you though - could do it just before I bitch slap your neighbors. I also had scans every 2 weeks and could request additional ones whenever I wanted (Actually had them weekly for a wee bit). Quite frankly this is the least you should get. I've also had them every 3-4 weeks in the last trimester too to monitor the placenta function. The midwife service Pebs gets sounds amazing and I have also heard of this in other places so should be widely available. Not sure what tests you and DH have had already re chromosomes but hope you can find some answers or at least some more peace.

Lurcher sounds like the dog weeks are dragging for you - hang in there.

welcome Littlepinkfizz listen to Martha for she is wise. Don't test yet and have a truffle.

Wilde Hope the cramps pass. I am also a big fan of the fybrogel and lactulose although I thought I would try a more natural solution today and absent mindedly ate rather too many prunes - I am now fearing the consequences. I was on this very board freaking out about cramps in my first trimester and it was just indeed the normal pregnancy twinges, and a lot of trapped wine blush. So difficult for us metallers to not see the bogey man in every corner - sometimes of course he is there but sometimes it is just us a metalling. I have no idea where my womble area is anymore. I last saw it about 2 months ago. Jollyb what were the consequences of constipation? I am terrified at that statement as already imagining all sorts of horrible consequences myself before I have even gone into labour.

Polka It will be your turn soon, this thread seems to get us all in the end.

Right I have to go. 33 weeks, baby quiet today - still metalling. Still thinking every time I talk about names or tell DD about her brother I am tempting fate and jinxing myself. Still got bugger all ready but also still thankful that I have got as far as I have. So basically I am still a messed up metaller. Praise the lord for this thread and you lovely ladies. Night all. I lick you.

JaffaSnaffle Sun 09-Sep-12 23:13:32

Martha, lots of love. I'm thinking of you and your DH tonight. So sorry about the fuckwits next door.

Welcome snorks and littlepink. Take a seat. So sorry you have been through what you have.

I've had an odd day. Went shopping for baby things. At nearly 32 weeks, it is overdue. But I found it so very very hard. I didn't enjoy it. I'm so sad and scared. Even now I feel like I'm tempting fate. I was thinking about how excited I was getting ready for DD1. Now I'm just doing it because I'm running of time. I am so desperate that she will be ok, not that interested in buying stuff...can't explain how strange I feel.

JaffaSnaffle Mon 10-Sep-12 07:13:44

midget, can I just come and panic next to you please... Reread the end of you post this morning. I think you understand.

Katnisscupcake Mon 10-Sep-12 07:28:25

Morning all,

Ladies, can I please join?

So my last MC (at 5 weeks) was at the end of July. So I've had one complete cycle (that came exactly 4 weeks after the MC) and I'm ready to try again.

I know Martha from when our darling DCs were conceived/born! They were born within 2 weeks of each other and Martha and I went through everything together from beginning to end.

Martha, I FBd you last night and you know who I am. I'm so so sorry hun, words can't express the pain you must be feeling. sad

I'm very very nervous about TTC again. This is my second MC. The first one was before I was PG with DD, literally about 6 weeks before. So again, one cycle then I was PG again with DD. I'm hoping I will be as lucky this time. But at 38 I know things won't be easy.

My PG was a nightmare with DD. High Downs risk (1:59), followed by a failed CVS and then finally a successful Amnio. But then diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks. Induced at 38 weeks because of the GD, horrendous labour (contractions 72 hours with little progress) finally had an Epidural that only numbed half of my body and DD born finally using Ventouse which damaged her eye.

So, hence very nervous about trying again... But I guess at least I can be prepared and expect all the bits that come with it. But MCs are much much harder to overcome and you can never prepare your feelings in advance sad.

I think we're all very very brave to be doing this.

So, HELLO!! smile

Hi Martha glad everything went ok, it always feels wrong writing that but I think you know what I mean. Sorry your neighbour is being a pita! Take each day as it comes x

Hello snorkmaiden kat and littlepink sorry you have all found yourselves here

pebs glad it seems they will be keeing a close eye on you

midgetm not long to go know and if your worried at all about littles ones movements ring the hospital, that's what they are for. Even if its just to put your mind at rest for a while xx

I've decided I'm going to ring the mw to see if I can be booked in for. Scan on my cervix, if that doesn't work will ring the private place. I'm driving myself up the wall here metalling.

ConfusedMumDotCom Mon 10-Sep-12 08:17:11

Just checking in. No more spotting, brown gunk has cleared up. I'm going to ring my midwife today anyway, just to set my mind at ease (if that is possible). I felt somewhat dismissed by the on-call midwife on Saturday.

sets out pots of decaf coffee, piles of croissants and other pastries and an extra large fruit salad

Jollyb Mon 10-Sep-12 08:49:04

Midget - may be slightly TMI but I was very constipated after my section and ended up with an anal fissure - which is a tiny but very painful tear that bled intermittently. Took several months to heal completely. Prevention definitely better than cure!

Jollyb Mon 10-Sep-12 08:50:51

And welcome to the newbies Kat and little pink.

Glad everything's settling down Confused. Just enjoyed one of your lovely croissants!

Martha - hope you're ok. X

Another one snorting at 'womble area' - love it!

wombleowner uh, I mean, wilde cramping in early pregnancy is actually pretty normal - particularly, in my personal experience, as you get a little older. Obviously, if it's horrendous, then that may be cause for concern but otherwise it's most likely a lot of poop bothering your womble grin I hope it's all ok and that you get some relief from all the back-up soon! (just had a flashback to IQ and her constipation woes!)

midge and jaffa - you will recall that I hadn't bought anything before DS3 and only forced myself washed DS2's stuff for the baby to wear a few weeks before he was born. I knew he was coming... I just didn't know he was coming. It's a weird way to feel (or, not feel, as it turned out for me... such was my denial) and not fun. I can't really offer any advice on how to stop late metalling because we cope the way we cope. Just just to say - I know. You're not crazy or alone in these responses.

marrf My lovely. I'm glad it went 'well' and I hope the testing will give you some answers that will help in your quest. I regret refusing the PM (and forgot to say that to you prior). <hugs> Hey, did you move yet? Just wondering if numbnuts and his noisy copulation might be something you can escape soon...?

moomin I don't see why they wouldn't check on your cervix? Worth a punt.

Gah, gotta go.

pebspop Mon 10-Sep-12 11:58:43

how are the cramps today wilde?

I have an appointment with my consultant on thursday but dh can't come so i am taking my mum - that should be fun! i hope everything is ok or i don't know how she will react. she is usually worse than me. not sure if i will be having another scan but i expect they might do one.

my midwife came to visit yesterday and she is really nice. she is coming back on friday to do the booking in stuff so that will be four appointments in a week - i hardly have time to go to work lol! dh is self employed so he is pretty good at coming to appointments usually but i think four in one week was a step too far!

confused glad everything has settled down

Have rang the mw and doesn't look like I'm going to get any joy out of her! She has offered to check the hb at my appointment on thurs to put my mind at rest hmm not sure how she thinks that will make a difference

Have rang some private places and non offer cervix scans, so no joy there either. Dp is going to pick up my progesterone later and I'm going to start it tonight. Consultant said to start it at 18 weeks which is weds but I know some people start it at 14 weeks so it's allright to take earlier.

Midgetm Mon 10-Sep-12 13:20:42


Moomin I have had two scans to check my cervix. Think one was EPU and one was when I bled at 16 weeks - I can't understand why you can't get one on the NHS in view of your history - have you tried via your GP? Normally useless in my experience but worth a punt maybe if you are drawing blanks elsewhere. This postcode lottery business really gets my goat.

Jaffa I think we are at the same stage of metalling. <moves over and plumps the cushions so we can snuggle together whilst simultaneously burying our head in the sand> It does get easier but also more scary in equal measure. The movements and the viability and all those things improve some elements of metalling but then the fear and the real horror of anything still going wrong despite all of these milestones can be crippling. Like many a wise woman on this thread has said - until they are in our arms we may not really believe.

manda Thanks for your reassurance that our mentallness if normal. I remember your lack of preparation only too well. I took moomins advice and went in for monitoring today. Of course the baby woke up instantly but they were so kind to me and didn't make me feel like a lunatic. They said with my history I could go in whenever I fancy and I do find their chairs very comfy. I still don't believe really. I still can't shake the feeling that something will go wrong. I have purchased a baby grow though so I maybe making small baby steps towards reality. It was this stage that my PE went crazy last time so I think I am just extra cautious about any little warning sign. However, so far no sign of it so I may escape its evil clutches this time.

Confused Hope you get some joy from your midwife.

Pebs Hope you are finding reassurance in all your medical attention - I know it made me feel a lot calmer, although finding the time sounds like it could be challenging, especially with your extra midwife app's. I gave DH time off for good behavior for some of the midwife apps.

Wilde hope your cramps have subsided. And of course I meant trapped wind not trapped wine. Trapped wine is just wrong.....

Kat Welcome in to the mosh pit - you are amongst friends here.

jolly Thanks for the TMI - think I have already had one of these which has passed but think it is being replaced by lots of other unpleasant issues in my womble area. Pregnancy is terrifyingly unglamorous sometimes or all of the time in the last trimester

Martha still holding you tight - hope I haven't squeezed too hard. Thinking of you a lot.

Right best go do some bloody work I suppose. Huge waves to you all.

icequeenkate Mon 10-Sep-12 13:44:34

Just had the chance to log on and catch up after 2 wks away then first week back at school. Am not much of a poster on here, but a dedicated follower.

martha I am so sorry that you and DH have been dealt this blow. Your strength and honesty are inspirational, and I am glad that you and dh have reached a decision to try again at some point. Thank you for staying on the thread too - your comments and advice are always valued (says me from personal experience of the VIP area, ushered in by you).

To all the newbies, sorry you find yourselves here, but you will be well looked after - it's a lovely place here with very wise women.

Can't believe that some of you, midget and jaffa, are in the 3rd trimester. When I joined, you were approaching 10 weeks or so. Time flies.

Things plodding on here. Still metalling about movement, or lack of it, but all things SPD considered, we're fine.

wombleowner - hi wilde grin congrats on the bfp (and the constipation!)

pebspop Mon 10-Sep-12 13:45:40

glad everything was ok today midget

it is a bit of a pain to get to all the appointments but i don't like going on my own so do like dh to come really. my mum is ok but she isn't very strong so it will make it worse if there is any bad news. luckily my boss is being very understanding about the time off. i have run out of holidays this year but they start again next month so i will probably book a few days off for appointments so i am not totally taking the piss.

i went to a 16 week midwife appointment on my own as everyone at work kept telling me i don't need to take dh everywhere and the midwife couldn't hear the heartbeat on the doppler and sent me to hospital. never again! i can probably manage my booking in appointment on friday on my own.

littlepinkfizz Mon 10-Sep-12 13:48:29

Am driving myself slowly mad. Have had quite sore boobs last few days which I only ever get if pregnant . aF due tomorrow - 2nd cycle after mc. But did 2 early response tests yest and today both BFN. Why is mother nature so cruel at times?
martha woke during the night thinking about you x

wilderumpus Mon 10-Sep-12 13:58:56

hey lovely ladies and your respective wombles wink

Thank you all so much for yesterday, I really appreciate you taking the time to treat my worries seriously even though I know we are all sniggering knowing that I think wind is actually my baby grin I am anive to the oddness of bowels! Wait till I start feeling 'kicks' at 7 weeks... hehe. manda maybe it is an age or third pg thing? I didn't have cramping hardly at all with DS that I remember but maybe i just was more relaxed with his pregnancy. Anyway, the cramping has gone (YAYAYAYAY) and I can be found working at home and cuddling my lactulose bottle smile. Am seeing dr tomorrow for the 'hey am pg' chat which frightens me as this is when it all went wrong last time, but if she says it sounds good and healthy so far I will be over the moon.

Ah lovely jaffa and midget. You will have your babies and you will be such loving mamas. You can get the clothes as and when, didnae fret. I don't know about you but atm I feel pregnant, but not pregnant with a BABY. I don't know if it will click if I see a baby on a scan or will take longer.

moomin sorry to hear your MW clearly not listening to you. You might have to be a pita and keep badgering her. This kiid of thing is really what they are there for sad

trapped wine is indeed wrong midget. All wine should be liberated! grin

confused glad your spotting has gone!

<waves to Kat and *Little Pink*>

MarthasHarbour Mon 10-Sep-12 15:58:10

oooh i am excited - i know kat vairy well, we went through so much with our first DCs conception and birth (her DH texted me the night her DD was born and i cried! blush although i was 38 weeks at the time!). She has been through a rollercoaster too, and much much more importantly, has missed a vital point for this thread she makes the most amazing cupcakes we have never met but i have seen them on FB and they look eminently suitable for our mosh pit - good to see you on here smile

arf at Manda - no we didnt move house (the BFP put that on hold sad ) however we are now all systems go and are going to make arrangements to get the house on the market pronto, just need to get me better then will go for it. We have identified a decent area to move to, where we can afford the extra bedroom just in case we have another baby bambino wink so yes - the shagging Mr Lover Lover (urgh) will be no more. Seriously, midget when you said you would belly slap him - well - urgh - he has a big belly to slap IYSWIM - he is rank hmm

Manda the Bereavement MW is coming over tonight to go through the Post Mortem forms, we are actually all for doing this now, a complete UTurn from last week. We also really want to TTC again (although DH also wants to go skiing for a long weekend for my birthday in Jan!!) Plenty of time for that yet though.

confused so glad that your womble area <snurk> is settling down, and you are really spoiling us with fresh coffee and croissants <wipes mouth - scoffs the last one>

jaffa and midget i totally understand your metalling, and i do recall manda practically being in labour when nipping into mothercare for some bits (along with some random measles witch doctor remedies)

wilde glad your bottom area is showing signs of just being baby pregnancy hormonal stuff hmm

speaking of bottoms TMI alert

The MW gave me some antibiotics yesterday just in case i got an infection, she also gave me a butt-plug pessary to insert into my bottom shock i asked her what that was for - she said 'just a top up of the oral anti biotics - you dont have to take them but, well you know, bigger things come out of your anus'

hmm shock hmm grin

shall i take it? i think the entire placenta came out as the MW was confident on saturday, i have taken the oral tablets. The MW offered to stick it up my arse for me but i declined politely and said i would do it myself - she did leave me some gloves and anal gel


MarthasHarbour Mon 10-Sep-12 15:58:59

haha - i spotted midgets trapped wine too - liberate the vino grin

pebspop Mon 10-Sep-12 16:01:52

unless i was dying i wouldn't be sticking anything up there martha!!

when i had the last couple of operations (erpc and hysteroscopy) they stuck one up there while i was under GA. i had shooting pains the next day ouch!

pebspop Mon 10-Sep-12 16:02:58

kat was your baby's eye permanently damaged by the ventouse?

I don't know Martha I've stuck some up for pain before which were lovely, what an odd thing for me to say!

I had iv ab and oral ones, no bum ones and was fine. Maybe phone the hospital and ask if you can get away with not doing it?

MarthasHarbour Mon 10-Sep-12 17:34:55

moomins you little minx wink

the MW said i didnt have to take it - it was just a precaution - i shall ditch it then!

For some reason I keep loosing this threadhmm so marking place.

buzzybeetop Mon 10-Sep-12 20:27:41

Is there room for another newbie? We've been trying for dc2 this year and only managed 2 mcs so far. First was at 8 wks and was quite philosophical about it and then latest was at 12 wks and rather knocked me for six. Trying to make the most of not being pregnant... getting fit and drinking (not at the same time!) but actually desperate for a sibling for ds.
Been inspired by some of the success stories and courage shown amongst you ladies.

snorkmaiden2 Mon 10-Sep-12 20:59:02

Was the deal with symptom spotting on this thread? It's just I've got really awful thrush and dr google says this means I've either got AIDs, diabetes or am knocked up.

I'm having some blood taken tomorrow to check iron levels. I know thus is such a non-event but it just totally reminds me of everything.

Work is shit too. I should have been nearly ready to go on mat leave sad

Glad the cramps have gone a bit Wilde. Love womble area!

Martha, would you like me to drop kick the shagger?

pocopearl Mon 10-Sep-12 21:14:31

Hi all, am i allowed to join. Am trying to conceive no.1 cycle 6. Had a miscarriage 5 years ago and was too upset / couldn't face it happening again to try again then. Am currently in the the wrong side of the middle of the dreaded 2ww! and symptom spotting like crazy.

Hello buzzy and poco welcome!

snork I usually get thrush when pg or on ab

MissCoffeeNWine Mon 10-Sep-12 22:04:51

wilde it only clicked for me when I felt her shoulders slide out grin I was like OMG she has shoulders and then she was here. I have no idea why shoulders make a baby more real than a head especially when it is already hanging half out of your womble.

Ah, Martha, I really am sorry you have had to go through this but you sound so very strong and secure in your decisions and the process, it is amazing to see/read. You know we had a PM for mini-toe and that was the right thing for us and it enabled us to feel confident in the next pregnancy, which was already underway of course. It will be okay, in the long run, but right now it is going to be totally shit. I am sorry.

Welcome to all the new members, sorry you found yourselves here, but this is the best place to be.

25+1 now, mild metaling still occuring but getting excited too. But still not making the connection with all the prep and being pregnant to an actual real baby joining us, it just feels like I'm pregnant, and that's ok, but getting a baby seems a bit unreal, does that make sense?

MarthasHarbour Mon 10-Sep-12 23:01:42

Welcome buzzy and poco, grab a seat and a cupcake from the VIP area

missc I love you philosophy, it is totally shit right now, but the bereavement mw called round tonight and went through all the testing procedures etc. We feel confident that all bases will be covered, and we want to donate our boys organs to medical education which will be arranged.

However I am so delighted you have your beautiful DD in your arms smile

Sorry just a quickie as on phone, speak tomorrow

Jollyb Tue 11-Sep-12 08:59:24

Morning all

Martha - good to hear you're doing 'ok'. Glad you're being well supported - I didn't realise that bereavement midwives existed. What a stressful but important job.

Welcome to poco and buzzy.

Well it's coming up to 4 weeks since my miscarriage and I can't believe i'm thinking about when to POAS. My period would have been due this Friday but am assuming it will be late given this is the WTF cycle. I've a feeling that I may have ov'd last week based on my CM and so I'm going to try to be strong and not test until at least the end of next week if AF doesn't arrive.

Had an amusing incident at a family christening at the weekend. My step dad handed me a parcel that had been delivered to their house. Everyone was looking at me expecting me to open it but I knew it was a huge batch of cheapie pregnancy tests . (selected wrong address on amazon) . Was very hastily stowed under the buggy.

Who else is in the 2WW?

sudaname Tue 11-Sep-12 09:16:59

Backwardpossom how do you make apple crumble ? My lovely next door but one neighbour has given me a carrier bag full of apples from her tree and l love apple crumble. l have followed internet recipes before and been a disaster. l have some Jus Rol cheater pastry (shortcrust) but dont know if could use that.

Very very best wishes to all you lovely ladies btw and very sorry to those of you that have suffered a loss or just having or had a hard time in general. l am past most things all that now at my age, so cant really contribute except to cross everything for you and will pass my crumble round if l manage it of course. smile

<ponders how she can bake with fingers crossed hmm>

Sudaname crumble topping is made with flour, sugar and butter (say just under double the amount flour to butter and sugar) - rub it all in together and then I add mashed up weetabix to it to give it a nice crunch. smile I love crumble. (Alternatively, if you're pushed for time, the bags of crumble mix you can buy really cheaply from the supermarket are actually not that bad!) x

Morning all.

<Lays out coffee, juice, fruit basket and pastries>

<Runs back with a huge fry up buffet>

MarthasHarbour Tue 11-Sep-12 10:03:59

state you are an absolute angel <pours coffee and piles plate high with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, mushrooms, hash browns, toast..............>

jollyb the bereavement midwife was amazing, her role covers all kinds of aspects of care, she asked me if i wanted to talk about it which both me and DH did, she was so good to DH too, empathetic and sympathetic and acknowledging his pain too. She went through the post mortem forms and clinical testing etc, she said she will be with me when the consultant goes through the results and will help him explain. She was just amazing, her job is so important.

I was thinking about the WTF cycle just this morning hmm jolly i think you are wise to wait a week before testing <pmsl at the christening story>

i am using my time off wisely to go through the annabel karmel book for DS recipe ideas, and also the hairy bikers/delia for recipes for DH and me! Yummy

<snaffles a bit of apple crumble for brekkie dessert hmm >

Jollyb Tue 11-Sep-12 10:20:17

Sudaname - if you want to use your pastry too my mum made a dessert a few weeks ago that was half pie/half crumble. It had a pastry base, then a layer of apples and then a fine layer of crumble topping. Was absolutely delicious - am salivating thinking about it.

Morning Martha glad all went well with the bereavement mw. I didn't have one, looking at the care others are receiving I think my area is a bit shite! It's def a good thing they go to the consultant with you. I think it's difficult to take it all in, def a good idea for someone else to be there incase you want to go over all the info again.

sudaname Tue 11-Sep-12 10:25:48

Ah thanks Backward so l cant really cheat with mi Jus Rol but l can cheat by buying crumble mix - marvellous grin. l think l'll try it the proper way, l only have plain flour though - that's right isnt it ? l have plenty of sugar and butter so might give it a whirl. The apples tho, l peel and core them obviously, but then do you cook them first and do you prefer sugar in them or just as they are. l love a bit of cinnamon aswell actually.

Be afraid ladies, be passing it round before you know it. grin Sorry for the hijack , l'll begone to my kitchen now to cause mayhem. !

I saw a bereavement midwife after my mmc she was so kind and understanding and rang me every now and again for weeks after it helped a lot, glad someone wonderful is helping you and you dh martha xxx

sudaname Tue 11-Sep-12 10:33:49

Good idea JollyB - am determined to use this Jus Rol up somewhere !

My DD arriving soon, here till school chucking out time, we could have a girlie baking day--only trouble is she's inherited my baking skills-- grin.

sudaname Tue 11-Sep-12 10:34:26

damn strikeouts !

pebspop Tue 11-Sep-12 10:55:26

are you using cooking apples sud i find they need loads of sugar. i chop them up stick them in a pan with a load of sugar and splash of water and a bit of cinnamon. cook until the go mushy and add the crumble then bake in the oven. i love apple crumble yum!

we don't have bereavement midwifes in my area. quite surprising when you think how good they are being now. i suppose i need the support more now than i did then so it's ok for me but it is hard for people going through a bad time that they don't have anyone to help them.

wilderumpus Tue 11-Sep-12 11:09:38

a bereavement counsellor sounds great, am glad you are being looked after martha

mmm apple crumble! I love it! My apples won't fall off my tree hmm. sods law they all fall off while we are on hols.

peeps, I am off to the drs this aft for my pg chat and to get into the system for my booking-in. sadly it isn't with my lovely dr who saw me through the mc, if it was I am sure she would send me for an early scan at around 8 weeks. This dr is a grumpy one iirc and probably won't because she doesn't know me from adam or how I sufferd with the Blighted ovum fiasco that ended up with me in counselling and off sick for months with depression. So I think I will have to go private. Will a private scan at 8 weeks be ok, after a mc, or would you say push for the NHS one? Am utterly dreading going to a private clinic with happy new mums in there and being told the baby is gone. It's not like they could then arrange for me to see the dr like at EPU and talk about the next step, I would have to do that myself wouldn't I?

I can't wait until 12 weeks as I am sure you all understand. What did you guys do?

I am shattered today and a bit of a hormonal stressy mess!


wilde I didn't get an early scan, they booked me for my 12wks one according to LMP but I was 10wks so then got another at 12wks. My reasoning for not going private was I couldn't bare paying for bad news. Just my opinion and I won't deny those weeks were hard.

pebspop Tue 11-Sep-12 11:38:16

wilde in my area we can self refer to epu so you just ring up if you want a scan after previous mc. some areas are like this and some need your gp to refer you.

i would try a private clinic if you can't go to nhs but ring ahead and tell them your situation. they might be able to make things a bit more private for you. i have seen a place in manchester which does private scans but it is a proper hospital with a consultant doing the scans. i think this would be better for people like us than a baby bond place where it could be full of giddy kippers having 4d scans without a care in the world - wish i was one of them!!

MarthasHarbour Tue 11-Sep-12 11:51:36

Bloody nosey pita neighbour (the shaggers mother) just called round and nagged at DH to sweep the last of the hedge clippings from the front path as they are blowing in other peoples gardens. I told her that we had more important things on our minds and didnt give a shit about fucking hedge clippings, she said 'oh are you ok' i said 'no i gave birth to a dead baby on saturday so as you can see 'hedge clippings' are the last thing on my mind'

I couldnt get rid of her after that - she said 'oh no it doesnt matter about the hedge clippings' - WTF! I said no it doesnt - then she started on the 'oh no i cant believe it after all you have been through' ad infinitum

DH was upstairs laughing at my bravery - i have wanted to tell her to fuck off for ages! grin

wilde i went to see my MW for my booking in appointment, she said that i couldnt have an early scan but as soon as i said i had some spotting she referred me to EPU, not that i am suggesting anything mind you... hmm

wilde I got my bad news at babybond - at the sexing scan they do from 16+1. No, they can't refer you directly to the nhs, they just told me to see my gp as soon as possible. Then when I was out in the waiting room whilst they typed up the report the receptionist came up and excitedly said to me 'So, what have you got?!' grinning like a cheshire cat. Bless her, she clearly wanted the ground to swallow her when I told her it wasn't good news, couldn't apologise enough.

I actually saw her when pregnant again after and we spoke about it. She'd never had that happen before in years of working for them so there was no reason for her to ever consider being a little more tactful and I guess the 'average' couple getting happy news, well it's all the more exciting when those around you are bouncing up and down too... part of the service, as it were.

But, yes, state it did grate that I'd paid. That said, when I got my bfp I went back to them for a viability scan because they do them from 7 weeks and I hadn't heard from the epu (the referring dr screwed it up - I did see them in the end at 8 weeks). They gave me a discount though (that I asked for! lol) and were very tactful this time (they all remembered me - I suppose that's no surprise given I was so far from what they usually deal with!).

So, in conclusion, wilde just ASK to be referred and explain briefly why (it'll all be in your notes anyway even if that dr didn't deal with you). Worth a shot, right?

marff glad you've got a bereavement midwife - I didn't see mine until the end of the last pregnancy but she was great. It's a vital service.

x post with you, marff - s'funny, innit, how societal norms go out the window at this time? grin

wilderumpus Tue 11-Sep-12 12:17:49

thanks manda am so sorry to hear your story sad I will whine on but a) they don't have time to read your notes before your appt and b) she sent me home once saying I should see more of my friends when I was hideously depressed and had panic attacks leaving the house and was blathering through snot at her after the mc last time sad not the most sympathetic. she frightens me!

sorry am whining. am off to keep my fretfulness to myself as it really isn't a big deal, is my hormones making it a Really Big Deal That Must Be Dealt With Right Now This Second.

laters yo!

wilderumpus Tue 11-Sep-12 12:20:14

martha that sounds awful sad is funny complaining about garden bits going over your garden too, and complaining that the wind did it. Why haven't you stopped the wind martha?

ooh 'eck - what will she do in AUTUMN with the LEAVES on her garden? Shout at the trees for leaving their evil stinky tree-bits on her garden I s'pose.

wtf grin

Jollyb Tue 11-Sep-12 13:52:32

Wilde I didn't get as far as seeing my GP with my last pregnancy and so am not sure whether I'd have been referred for an early scan or not. The time before I had my early scan at 8 weeks at a private clinic where i was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. I then had to go and see my GP for a referral.

I was so distressed after this scan that I forgot to pay. An invoice arrived in the post 2 days later - so no reduction for bad news for me!

After having a MMC I don't think I could wait til 12 weeks either. I didn't have any symptoms with my blighted ovum and so I could easily have found out at my 12 week scan which would have been even worse.

Good luck with your GP - they may surprise you.

Martha - well done with the hedge trimmings. Maybe she'll get shagger son to clear them for you.

wilderumpus Tue 11-Sep-12 14:04:30

aw jolly. Blighted Ovums suck, am absoutely terrified of having another one and seeing that empty sac again sad am so sorry about your mc's, are you doing ok? Your luck must change soon, good luck for poas smile x

going to drs tomorrow now, too much work to do today...

Irishmammybread Tue 11-Sep-12 14:50:44

Hi, sorry to intrude, I'm off work recovering from MC3 and lurking on a lot of threads on mumsnet!

wilde,just wanted to say that I had MC1 in March at 10-11wks, concieved after next AF, MC2 at 6 weeks in June then concieved again immediately.
I saw my GP who told me to phone the EPU to see if I could self refer for an early scan. They booked me in for a scan at 8wks.
Because I couldn't wait and was freaking out I booked a private scan earlier and a heartbeat was confirmed at 6w6d, cost was £50 but I had to sign before having the scan that I realized it was not a clinical proceedure and medical advice would not be given.
The scan at the EPU the following week then showed normal growth and strong heartbeat. I was told to then wait for my normal scan at 12 weeks.
Because I had started spotting at 10 weeks with MC1 we decided to book another private scan(at a different clinic) at 10 weeks for peace of mind.
Unfortunately that revealed no heartbeat, baby had died the week before. The sonographer was lovely, tried to phone through to the EPU but as the phone was engaged told us to head straight there and gave us a typed letter and scan results. They refused to take any payment.(would have been £75). When we arrived at the EPU with the report we were seen straight away .
I was surprised how many private scanning clinics are around when I did an internet search and I felt the one we visited dealt with us in a very sensitive way.
I hope when you have your scan it will be good news ,but I fully understand that anxiety.

Martha, so sorry to hear what you've been going through, my friend lost a baby in almost identical circumstances, it's heartbreaking. x

buzzybeetop Tue 11-Sep-12 18:36:18

Evening all. Wilde I would definitely try for an early scan. In my last pregnancy it wasn't offered and I didn't ask for it. Next pregnancy (hoping there will be one) I will definitely try and get one at 9 weeks because I just felt so stressed through the first 12 weeks last time counting down the days until scan only to start bleeding a few days before. My gp was very supportive when I mentioned early scan to her but unfortunately EPU wasn't so will pob have to get it privately. Prof Lesley Regan who runs the big mc clinic in London advocates regular scan in the first 12 weeks and has seen more positive outcomes I her recurrent mc sufferers.
Martha have you tried Fay Ripley's cookbook? Have done some tasty meals from there. Hope it's taking your mind off things

buzzybeetop Tue 11-Sep-12 18:44:16

Sorry just worked out how to do names in bold will try to do that next time!

wilderumpus Tue 11-Sep-12 18:51:51

thanks so much ladies thanks

I am calmer now than earlier and have decided that I will tell the dr tomorrow about my three mc in a row with two CPs and one BO that dragged on till 10 weeks and the toll it all had on me. She might say bog off, and if she does I'll get a private one at 8 weeks, the week after we get back from Italy. All seems well tbh, and I hope two weeks without internet or work or England will help me get more in tune with myself and, in turn, help me chill out smile

am so sorry to hear your story irishmammybread your ttc journey so far must have been heartbreaking. Are you having tests and being looked after now?

Dorita75 Tue 11-Sep-12 23:31:40

Just a quick one as knackere! Hello new ladies, sorry you're here but lovely to have you.

wilde the nurse I saw on ERPC day told me off for paying for the private scan saying not to do it next time but to contact them if I want reassurance. Know it's not the same everywhere but if you don't ask you don't get grin

jollyb I'm with you in 2WW! Hopes up already after using preseed this month, must stay calm...

No apple pie advice but have just had Herman the German friendship cake, turned out ok but baking not my forte!

Night all x

Daisybell1 Wed 12-Sep-12 07:16:15

Is this the place for me?

I practically lived in the Freak Out room when I was pg with dd, but I can't find it anymore.

Had a mmc (twins) in June/July and an erpc. Trying again now but no luck so far sad

Can I lurk here for a while?

<whips cover of plate of bacon rolls and places on table>

Jollyb Wed 12-Sep-12 09:17:10

daisybell this is definitely the place for you. Sorry to hear about your twins and good luck TTC.

Well I'm sat in a dodgy cafe across the road from my local cottage hospital. I went to have my 'why do I keep having miscarriages bloods' and apparently I need to wait another 40 mins so they can be fresh for the courier!

Well at least it's sunny.

Jollyb Wed 12-Sep-12 09:19:00

Yay dorita fingers crossed for the sperm friendly lube.

I shouldn't really be saying I'm in the 2ww as this is my WTF cycle but we can't but hope!!

Midgetm Wed 12-Sep-12 09:24:25

daisy you bring bacon - bringers of bacon welcome anywhere. Sorry for your loss - you can freak out freely here.

I am a patient of Lesley Regan and they do indeed say that regular scans improve outcomes. They have no idea why - they think it is just the reassurance side of it but that is why they scan all their ladies every 2 weeks up to a minimum of 12 weeks. They also have this total confidence in your pregnancy from very early on - I found it unnerving but contagious. Even though I had lost pregnancies after seeing strong HB's they never had any doubt from my first HB scan that this one would be ok. Many of you will remember how much this freaked me out at first but then their confidence became contagious. I often wonder if this confidence they transferred to me also plays a part in outcomes. But that isn't very scientific is it? I bloody love her clinic. It is why I am here 34 weeks today. Wilde You deserve a scan so hope you bloody well get one.

Had lots to say but I have forgotten it all. Thinking of going out and buying a couple of things for hospital bag. This is progress.

Morning everyone.

I'm totally freaking myself out and metalling hard and I need a slap that only the metallers can serve me.

I'm 25+2, had a few very active days from baby and now back to what was normal, iyswim, but not as many HARD kicks, still getting regular movement but not as much as it was for a few days. I also broke my kick counter band and that's making it worse. It now feels like the kicks are cushioned, does that make sense. Anyone?


Midgetm Wed 12-Sep-12 10:04:36

State Midwife and Consultant say kick counting is no more according to NICE guidelines. It is about patterns of movements and what is normal for your baby. Think they say from 28 weeks but I could be wrong on that and if you are worried I would ignore that. I have been told if babies pattern is different they would want to check me out. So if you are worried, even if it is metalling then just ring triage or MDU and they will check you out. So much better than driving yourself to distraction. I was monitored twice in the last 7 days because of different patterns and they still haven't got fed up with me. They also told me to go in at any time with the same concerns. Give them a call and put your mind at rest.

Midgetm Wed 12-Sep-12 10:05:08

Plus of course you know the baby could just be in a different position as they have a lot of room at that stage - but still get checked if worried. x

I saw the bit about from 28wks when googling last night, also that stress can make baby less active and us less sensitive to movements, was pretty stressed past few days and hugely when I think the babys not busy enough, yesterday am, in tesco of all places, I got the biggest movement like I can't describe, it made me double over it was such a shock and feel sick, so I'm pretty sure its switched posistions, its typical though since I've posted I've had 4 big movements and lots of pressure like I normally get so I'm much calmer now. This baby is a little sod, it seems to enjoy messing with me. Or maybe until I wrote it all done I was too stressed who knows, I'm my own worst enemy!

If things go quiet again ill ring midwife straight away. Thanks for the reassurance midge x

Ok make that 10 big movements, think ill leave the mw in peace blush

wilderumpus Wed 12-Sep-12 10:32:20

yay glad all ok state

welcome daisy, bacon YUM. so sorry to hear about your twins.

midget thank 'ee kindly, I shall take what you say on board smile My pg is progressing wonderfully, lots of healthy cm (ahem, lots) boobs sorer every day and getting fuller, hormonal as hell, twingy here and there if I do too much, tired out, weeing loads... but feel wonderful. This is like my pg with DS and NOT the pg I mc'ed which felt wrong from the off. Terrible headaches, crampiness and dizziness with that one. am 4+5 in this pg, in the mc-pg it was at 4+6 they sent me to EPU the first time because of the cramping, but that wouldn't happen now smile So I know I must believe. I can honestly say I DO believe I am pregnant and all is fine, but CAN'T believe yet that I might have a baby. Is that too weird?! DH started talking about the baby as if we really might be pg last night too which was a real turnaround, so far we have sort of mumbled about how I am feeling etc but not openly been 'yay we're pregnant!'.

Anyway. I must believe all will be fine and take that risk that comes with falling in love again. thanks midget and everyone who has helped me this past week. smile smile

<goes back to painting toes for hollibobs and scoffing daisy's bacon rolls when should be writing PhD chapter smile>

Jollyb Wed 12-Sep-12 11:14:41

wilde glad to hear you're feeling properly pregnant. I went off coffee big time when pregnant with my daughter and so that is the symptom I'm always looking out for.

Glad baby's wriggling away state.

midget trying to think of some maternity bag top tips. Lots of maternity pads and only a few breast pads. I got the ratio completely wrong last time! Lots of snacks that you are bound to eat before you go into labour. Yoga pants. More snacks.

pebspop Wed 12-Sep-12 11:19:04

sounds good wilde i feel like this one might work out as well (kind of!). i am taking my injections and aspirin so i shouldn't get blood clots in the placenta like the second mc. i am not bleeding every day like the third mc. not really sure why i had the first mc as i didn't get tests but i feel like i could have a baby this time.

still get terrified at the thought of a scan though. i might be having one tomorrow as i am going to see my consultant.

Midgetm Wed 12-Sep-12 12:09:12

Loving all this confidence. I know it can be scary and feels like setting yourself up for a fall and a little bit mental sometimes but it makes the waiting less anxious. Wilde it is just like falling in love again - wipes tear from eye at the thought of you and DH starting to believe. We believed this time round too although I am still in denial just a little bit

State the pattern you describe is my baby to a tee - he loves to wind me up and worry me and then kicks ten barrels of crap out of me when I get to the hospital. He likes to mess with my mind.

AFM, I have just purchased big pants and maternity towels - this is progress. I may even pack a bag by the time I am 37 weeks at this rate.

Glad its not just mine midge I get so worked up and anxious and I know that makes it worse and less likely baby will wriggle.

I was metalling hard as I've been getting organised as with dds birthday and christmas and a new baby in a month all together I have to budget and start now. And was worried I'd pushed my luck by having baby clothes folded in a unit in my room and we just got a bargain change table. But the chances of anything going wrong (mc and still birth) are something like 1 in 2000 after 24wks according to google. Obviously prem labour brings all kinds of other risks but since my elder two refused to be born that's one thing I can't bring myself to panic over even when deep in metalling mode.

Just made myself go all queer, moved our living room around (I didn't lift anything) and scrubbed a wall down (I have a jnr picasso it seems) and went all shaky, hot cross bun and juice and feel a bit better.

Anyway <gets grip> I need to gut my wardrobe out as somehow in about 15wks I need to fit an extra person in my room shock and my wardrobe doesn't lead to narnia, it contains it!

wilderumpus Wed 12-Sep-12 14:17:43

big pants midge! I loved my big pants after having DS actually. hehe. Have you got a god awful nightie to labour in too?!

exciting times state! am so happy for you smile not about the queer-ness. Hope you take it easy for a bit missy.

Am off to the drs to announce pg and ask about scan... Am really nervous about talking about it out loud to a stranger, and one that is in the know about these things! and a bit excited I have to say smile after last time I just really hope i come back still pregnant!

Good luck wilde smile

Well despite wanting to move house desperatly, I've re-organised and settled down and I'm sucking it up that we'll be here another 6mnths. And also not sure if I've mentioned it, had trouble getting dd a place in nursery, dp finally lost it today when two people near us had visits for dc a year younger than her and rang the head, turns out I'd wrote her year of birth as 2009 not 2008. We have a visit this afternoon blush

midge arnica tablets really made me more comfortable after having my big two my midwife mentioned them not many do. Also a lovely simple lavendar and camomile shower gel/bubble bath.

icequeenkate Wed 12-Sep-12 14:53:05

<pokes head round door - body won't fit due to mahoosive lunch consumed earlier>

Jolly laughed my head off about your maternity pad -v- breast pad ratio comment! Reminded me of lessons I haven't learned... thank you!

wilde good luck at dr.

midget - do you think this calls for a new bag to be called 'hospital bag'? I've had my eye on a rather nice leather bag for a week or so now, and it would definitely fit the appropriate ratio of pads/towels in, and maybe even a baby grow? smile

daisy welcome. Sorry about your twins, sad but this is a lovely thread.

Must run jolly nearly forgotten to collect the DSs

MarthasHarbour Wed 12-Sep-12 15:47:18

just popping my head in, as am knackered after a rather scrumptious lunch date with DH smile

we had a big discussion about 'fings' and have agreed we def want to TTC again, which we all knew, BUT - DH wants to start immediately grin we are gonna get the WTF cycle out the way then 'crack on'. manda will be beyond thrilled to know that we headed straight to H&B for £28 worth of Agnus Castus and BVits. However can someone please remind me why i am taking these? as i am a bit fuzzy - i am taking them anyway but i think it is something to do with egg quality or something hmm i am taking folic acid too - i took my first batch of pills at 2pm grin

wilde i am all a mix of nerves and excitement for your appointment

daisy you are more than welcome here especially-with bacon rolls so sorry about your twins sad

<soothes states brow> glad all is looking good

midge i put drops of tea tree oil in my bath, it helped with the csection scarring but my friend recommended it for fanjo stitches too

wilderumpus Wed 12-Sep-12 16:51:20

ah feck it! Had a man dr, and while I KNOW men can be lovely, empathetic beings, this one was NOT one of them. First of all he asked what he could do for me and I said 'I'm pregnant' and he said 'I know! congratulations!' and I said how does he know and it turns out he was looking at the EDD of the baby I mc'ed sad WTF. I had to tell him that baby had died. I was trembling! That really choked me up and set the scene really. We fought over whether to date the pg from LMP which was 2 weeks out as I had a long cycle after a CP, or, as I wanted, from ov. I did not want a 10 week as opposed to 12 week scan, I want a 12 week scan. He finally relented saying we'll make up a new LMP to go with my dates and even THEN he wanted to make up his own date so I have one that says am 5 weeks instead of 4. twat.

Then I asked for a reassurance scan and he patronisingly told me about how that was, actually, what the 12 week scan was for. By then and all of it I was quite upset and just shut up because I didn't want to beg neanderthal man to understand my vulnerability and fear. I asked him about good vs bad cramping and he said 'as I have had so many pg's' - referring to the mc's - I should know what is what in pregnancy. What a twat moron bastard.

Anyway! I know all is well, I haven't got an early scan referral from him but might go and se my nice lovely lady dr when back from holiday anyway just for a cuddle. She'll see me right am sure of it smile

ANYWAY! am going to have a nice cup of tea and chill out.

Amusing bit is that my BP was quite high, which is never is (in fact it is usually low) but the situ, and then him being a twat had clearly wound me up!

sorry for me, me, me. big love ladies.

Well, lots of 'nice' metalling going on, I see - the whole starting to believe, starting to prepare <nods to wilde state pebs midge> <sly lick for midge too - she dishes enough of 'em out, only fair someone licks her in return too> I love the falling in love again analogy. Very true. It's testament to the human condition that ultimately, we have hope.

Now, marff you are correct about me being very happy about your trip to Holland and Barratt! High dose b vits (I seem to remember you had trouble swallowing the B100? Try buying B50 and taking 2 (even if you have to also break them in half too!). They are fab for balancing your 'lady' hormones, and, yes, improving the quality of the egg (as seen in IVF patients - those taking high dose bvits have their eggs consistently graded higher than previously/more of them). Also apparently just good for lifting mood in general. Good for energy release from food, hair, skin, eyes... Just take the feckers, woman!

As for agnus castus, well, I took that too but not everyone needs to. I have pcos, and am a late O'er... it brings my O forward, again, very balancing for my cycle (less pms etc) but if you O regularly mid cycle it's not necessarily for you and might mess your cycles up a bit.

AFM, I've realised what bought me back here in the last couple of weeks - today is the first anniversary of Teddy's birthday. Have been feeling very low the last few days but today, not so much <weird>. Although I keep looking at the baby and thinking 'You wouldn't be here if he hadn't died... he'd be one today and you wouldn't be here'. And I love him desperately, yet somehow there's still a longing for my lost boy. Isn't that in some way wishing this baby away? Or, at least, wishing he didn't ever exist, rather than away.

Egads, wilde I'm so sorry - what a knobber. Have you checked whether your epu is a self referral one?

wilderumpus Wed 12-Sep-12 17:49:19

manda it isn't wishing anything or anyone away. It's a complicated business. I hope you are ok.

wilderumpus Wed 12-Sep-12 17:52:04

will call epu at the ne hosp I will be seen at to see if can self refer when I get back from hols. so annoying having to do all the admin and explaining myself though, going through it all again to a stranger you know? But you gotta do! Might just go private anyways smile

not sure if I will be back on tonight but am off for holidays tomorrow so will 'see' you all in two weeks! Babies and mums better behave while I am gone, nothing more than the requisite plodding along, and I would love some new BFPs please!

What a wankbadger wilde if you get awful morning sickness book to visit him and vom on his chair. angry for you!

pebspop Wed 12-Sep-12 18:06:25

hope you get sorted with an early scan wilde that doctor sounds like a dick.

manda I don't think you are wishing your baby away. I agree with wilde its a very complicated thing.

I am freaking out a bit here. had some ewcm with pin pricks of red blood. it was tiny and I don't think a normal person would have noticed but its has worried me.

I am seeing consultant in the morning so will try to get a scan

have Googled but nothing bad coming up

wilderumpus Wed 12-Sep-12 19:02:56

<runs in to hold pebs' hand, distract with a cup of hot choc and sneakily take away dr google> hope all is ok, am completely sure it is x

and state just saw about your dd nursery situ. you put the wrong date?! oof! but aw, baby starting soon? My DS starts in jan... I will cry. he goes to a childminder atm, but is not the same... <wonders where his approval letter is and if I put down the wrong birth year too hmm >

Polka2 Wed 12-Sep-12 19:21:39

Wank badger is brilliant state may have to borrow that for suitably frustrating situations!!

wilde what a day, what a dick! Enjoy your hols and hope you manage to chill ax!

martha lunch date sounds good and well deserved!

pebs hope you're ok but def step AWAY from dr google!!wink

Welcome to the newbies sorry that you find yourselves here but get comfy for some understanding hand holdingwink

AFM husband thinks I should watch OBEM from last night bout multiple births but scared that it'll tip me over into sadness abyss?!

MarthasHarbour Wed 12-Sep-12 19:38:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarthasHarbour Wed 12-Sep-12 19:42:39

Just asked for my last post to be deleted as i have outed myself a little too much blush I have recreated it here (in edited form!)

wilde your GP is a complete fuckwit, this CERTAINLY warrants either a complaint to the Practice Manager or to the PCT. He has been a complete dick and has disregarded your concerns and just not cared for you. Yes go to see nice lady GP - i urge you to do this, and if you cant face a formal complaint have a blardy good bitch to her. And enjoy your hols

<envelopes manda in a humungous hug> oh sweetie, of course you are not wishing DS away, not in the least. When i was PG with this last one i was saying to my belly that i wouldnt be in this position if i hadnt lost my baby last year. That doesnt mean that i didnt want this pregnancy. You have an amazing gift in your li'l miracle. And as for darling Teddy, i am raising a glass to him right now, in fact he is playing with Jack (DS2s name - everyone ok with me outing him?) in that funky little mosh pit playgroup in the sky. Take care of yourself, you are of course still hormonal. My DM told me when i had DS1 that i could be post natal for up to a year. Never underestimate the female hormones.

Thanks for the info on the BVits. Funnily enough i was in Holland and Barratt buying them and i had your stern words in my ears!! I did indeed get more B50s as i couldnt get away with the size of the 100s. I have bought the Agnus Castus now so will take them, even though my cycles are usually normal <bugger>

pebs i just know everything is going to be ok, but i am holding your hand

state you really do do revenge dont you? wink i reckon everyone needs a state in their lives!!

Is moomins about? I saw your posts on the Kym Marsh thread, i know that this is a metallic time for you at the moment and that thread was shite. I hope you are ok and just want to give you a wave and a lick, as well as some of the gorgeous lemon yoghurt cake that SMIL send down for us yesterday.

Waves to all x

I can't even use baby brain as an excuse wilde I registered her in July 2011! blush this is the first time she will be left with anyone other than my Mum so I'm very nervous but it will be so good for her she is 4 in two months and gets so bored and lonely with just me for company, plus quiet mornings when heavily pregnant/with a new baby will be wonderful, and her having nursery that is all hers iyswim when we have a new dc will be good for her, ill miss her though sad

pebs get off google! I had some spotting early on. Relax x

Polka2 Wed 12-Sep-12 19:44:41

Blimey, manda sorry to have missed you off my previous post, just at this reflective/metalling time. Raise a glass to lovely Teddy and it really doesn't sound odd how you think about your bump, it's a real mosh pit of emotions, hormones, memories and what ifs!wink

pebspop Wed 12-Sep-12 19:50:30

thanks everyone. I have calmed down now. it was a pin prick of blood which I only noticed as I analyse every bit of toilet roll.

I am trying to relax in bed.

Dr Google didn't bring anything bad up which is quite surprising as usually everything I type in comes back with miscarriage

MarthasHarbour Wed 12-Sep-12 20:14:43

pebs it was probably a bit of fluff from your saucy red knickers! grin

pebspop Wed 12-Sep-12 20:32:38

how did you guess Martha!!

Jollyb Wed 12-Sep-12 21:29:56

Sorry your appointment didn't go well wilde. Hope you and your womble have a good holiday. I'd definitely call your EPU when you get back

pebs. Hope everything goes ok tomorrow. Xx

Hi Martha I'm fine, there have been some very odd opinions on some threads today hmm jack is a lovely name, I'm glad you felt able to share it with us

Have started the progesterone, ive been given cyclogest which can apparently be used to treat mild PND so maybe it will lift my mood a little!

I'm now worrying that I can't feel my cervix at all, I can feel a bit of the stitching really high up but that is all. I shall be quizzing my mw tomorrow. I know last time I could feel it but that wasn't necessarily a good thing with what happened, I seem to remember the time before it might have been quite high up

pebs don't do what I did and were white pants, it's not a good idea! Hope thru give you a scan tomorrow.

Wilde sorry the appointment didn't go well. Hope you have a good holiday

littlepinkfizz Thu 13-Sep-12 09:19:29

AF today. I hate her.

Daisybell1 Thu 13-Sep-12 10:15:03

Thank you for making me feel so welcome ladies, am starting to catch up on the gossip grin

We're TTC again, but OH has 'performance anxiety' ffs angry

<strokes Bradley Wiggins water bottle she scooped off the road yesterday at the Tour of Britain, bet he doesn't get performance issues, mutter mutter>

pebspop Thu 13-Sep-12 11:39:51

little sorry af got you. have some wine and get ready for the next cycle!!

daisy ttc puts my dh off dtd. i don't tell him he is ttc lol!

everything was fine today. the consultant was really nice and i have my booking in appt tomorrow and a scan next week then 12 week scan and consultant appointment the week after.

MarthasHarbour Thu 13-Sep-12 15:05:28

<runs in shouting> MY PEE IS YELLOW!!!!! grin

so the AC and BVits are working their magic then!! I have missed yellow pee!!

little angry at AF

daisy grin at performance issues, maybe you should have raced after him and had a go? hmm

Quiet day chez Martha today. Me and DH did a bit of retail therapy but it has exhausted me so i am feet up with MN and magazines.

<lays out a tray of chocolates and cake as donated by various friends and family>

and the shaggers mother - has hedge clipping ishoos - neighbour left some flowers on our doorstep; might use them to line the composter in the allotment grin

Daisybell1 Thu 13-Sep-12 15:57:21

<confesses to have peered at Lord Bradley of Wiggins bottle to see if any DNA could be salvaged>

<realises is a nutter>

<offers plate of cream scones and slinks away>

Have missed the conversations about the colour of pee though!

MarthasHarbour Thu 13-Sep-12 17:00:19

daisy a few months back we were all talking about Agnus Castus and high dose B Vits, and were marvelling at how the pills turn our pee yellow. It is almost instantaneous and is quite addictive confused

We also had the discussion (if anyone remembers) that wouldnt it be lovely if we didnt have to symptom spot, and if, like on ovulation and conception our pee turned blue, so we would know in an instant! grin hmm

littlepinkfizz Thu 13-Sep-12 18:21:18

Lol at blue pee martha - fab idea! Why did mammy nature not think of that one?..

I found out today that most people's cervix developed a blue tinge when you become pg, might be a but difficult to check for though hmm

Developes and bit, blinking phone

Quicksie Thu 13-Sep-12 19:33:40

Hi Everyone!
Sorry I haven't been around much this week, crazy busy at work with all the new children coming in to school...all the mums are pregnant (seemingly!) and moaning about it!
I have just read through all the posts I have missed and I hope everyone is okay. Martha I had a huge grin on my face when I read that you are back on the folic acid and B vits - good on you! My OH now thinks I have started an online relationship as I alternately smile and look sad at the screen!
My AF came, ten days late. Bloody nature! Cruel cruel bitch. So god only knows what my cycle is doing and I think I might have to get organised and try to track my ov this month.
Our staffroom is chocka with chocolates and cake, so help yourselves girls from this big tuperware bowl full of Quality Streets!

MarthasHarbour Thu 13-Sep-12 20:32:29

moomins i will check yours if you check mine wink shock

welcome back quicksie bugger that AF angry i am in the WTF cycle but am going to start keeping an eye on things.

kat where did you get to? come back with yer cupcakes!!

JaffaSnaffle Thu 13-Sep-12 20:55:37

Feel like I have been off for ages, but only a few days.

Martha you are in my thoughts so often. Also, are you thinking of ttc in the wtf cycle? <<pats wtf cycle bump gently >> If you are, all I would say is it is good for the sense of wanting to get pg quickly, but a bit knackering physically. I have been pregnant since christmas, 41 weeks back to back. But I'd do it again in a second...

pebs, glad the bleeding has gone and that you had a good appointment today.

Wilde, what an annoying little man. Hope you don't have to deal with him again.

manda, I'm sorry I missed Teddy's birthday. I completely get that strange longing. There is a part of me that is the mother of 2 children now, one of which is a crawling, eating, 8 month old baby boy. Instead I'm a 32 week waddler. The only way I can make sense of it, is to imagine there is a little bit of my heart living a parallel life.

I am really metalling about movements. I have enough, I have anterior placenta..., but I cannot help but worry all the time. I don't care about the physical side of pregnancy any more, but I want it to be over, just to get some peace from the worry. Max 10 weeks to go. Bring it on...

Martha I'd be better having you check it, dp is colour blind. He wouldn't be able to tell if it was blue, pink or yellow!

Jaffa I remember that tiredness, had a mc at around 6 weeks, pg straight away with ds3 who was born at 32 weeks and I was pg again before the post natal at 8 weeks with Jacob so 58 weeks pretty much back to back. Even though I've had an 8 month break this time I still feel like I've been pg forever!

So I've been to the mw, yet again mine wasn't in. I've not seen her yet this time. Still no joy trying to get the cervical scan but I did have a good talk to her about the cervix and where it should be.

MissCoffeeNWine Thu 13-Sep-12 23:30:08

Just had a sob at mosh pit playgroup in the sky. Oh my. I am also the mother of a six month old baby boy as well as my tiny girl. It's just not right, is it.

Remembering all the tiny ones thanks

Yes * Jaffa* I thunk you described it really well, it is like a piece of your heart is living a parallel life.

It's the only thing thats made me wonder what happens after you die. Ds3 was playing in the paddling pool and his new sandpit last weekend and dp said Jacob would be able to sit in there with him now. It's sad they never got to meet or play togeather

littlepinkfizz Fri 14-Sep-12 10:30:46

Just a query and definitely TMI but .... Does anyone else get an itchy ehmmm muff pubic hair when they are coming on AF??!! Or ,as I suspect, is it just me??

Rich tea and coffee anyone, or a choccie digestive

buzzybeetop Fri 14-Sep-12 13:19:24

So glad you've decided to get back on the horse Martha I'm sure you'll get the lovely baby you so deserve.
Was loving all the positivity of the other day. I'm going to try to take that on board and be a bit more optimistic.
I'm sure you're not alone in the pre menstrual muff itching little but can't relate to tat one myself!

buzzybeetop Fri 14-Sep-12 13:23:00

I'll take a digestive though!

snorkmaiden2 Fri 14-Sep-12 13:51:53

Did a test this morning, BFN. I wasn't sure which way it would go really cos I've still got lots of pg symptoms which I'm surprised about on my 3rd cycle after mc. Bleurgh.

This has been the longest 2ww in the history of all time. Wondering whether or not all the lurking I'm doing isn't really helping me after all. I know it's an obvious thing to say but I really really really want another baby in my tummy

Jollyb Fri 14-Sep-12 14:24:38

Snorkmaiden - when are you due on? Could you just have tested too early?

Fizz - can't say I've suffered with itchy pubes either - will keep an eye out for this symptom next weeksmileseriously sorry to hear about your AF

Hope everyone's ok. X

littlepinkfizz Fri 14-Sep-12 14:56:59

I knew it! It's just me!! I do wash though!

Sorry to hear bout the BFN. I feel exactly the same , so your not alone there x

littlepinkfizz Fri 14-Sep-12 15:05:50

moomin what is your secret for getting pregnant so quickly? Is it just a calm ,not getting stressed approach or did you work out when you were ovulating or use opk? Would really love to know . smile

Your not alone little blush

JaffaSnaffle Fri 14-Sep-12 17:32:31

littlepink, I get pregnant very easily, ( 4 pregnancies each within 2 months of ttc). Some of it is luck without a doubt, and some of it is me being very anal about it... well not literally ahem.. But I do get quite controlling about it. I work out when I'm likely to ovulate, start on the opks, pay a lot if attention to cervical mucus- that is the best indicator for me actually, and then make sure there is s lot of sex in that time. But, I am so aware that a lot of people do this, and don't get pregnant so easily... I'm good at getting pregnant, and good at labour, so far, just the bit in the middle I'm rubbish at sad

pebspop Fri 14-Sep-12 17:59:44

I get pg easily since I temped to work out when I ov. first time I ttc took 5 cycles. next three times were first or second cycle. I temped between first mc and second pg.

I ov a week later than normal despite having a 28 day cycle.

a lot of the ladies on here seem to get pg easily. stick around and it will br your turn soon. how long have you been tryin g?

MarthasHarbour Fri 14-Sep-12 18:03:38

moomins and *MissC8 (sorry i made you cry sad) i have an 11 month old and a 1 week old in that playgroup sad smile i was hugging my friends DD the other day, she has just turned 1. We were due within a month of eachother. It was bittersweet (as she is simply adoooorable)

snorks angry about the BFN.

littlepink erm <coughs> me too - in fact i get it at all times of the month blush

jaffa we are up for TTC straight away, once the bleeding stops actually blush we have learned that it takes us forever to conceive so best not do any planning <subliminally hoping that is us being pessimistic and it will happen straight away!> if it happens immediately i will have 20-25 weeks on top of next pregnancy.

Well my shopping trip yesterday was a big mistake, i woke in the night with cramps and had a heavy blood loss this morning. So have taken it easy today <lays out trashy magazines and chocolate washed down with a brew or a wine for us TTCers>

little I don't know, I've always found it harder to carry than get pg, it did take longer when ttc ds3. About 14 months by which time I'd tried ovulation kits having sex every day and had got to the point where dp dreaded af time, we then decided to try to forget about it and I conceived a few months later, although I had a mc.

I seem to get pg easily after mc or after having a baby. I was still bf ds 3 when I became pg again. It has taken longer this time but I think that's because tmi we haven't had sex much since Jacob as even though I wanted to be pg again I was also scared. As it turns out the last 3 times I've gotten oh I've had bleeding which I thought was AF an it's only been when they've scanned me an moved the dates fwd that I've found I've been pg between 2-3 weeks longer than I thought. I wasn't really able to judge my cycles though as I've become pg two of those times so soon after mc or birth.

Martha take it easy or I will come round and sit on you!

snorkmaiden2 Fri 14-Sep-12 18:31:01

Thanks ladies. jollyb I tested faaaaaar too early, there ws never any chance of a BFP today. I reckon I only OVed last Thursday. The good side of this now is I have temporarily convinced myself that I am indeed not pregnant which has given me a mental break and it also means I have no more tests in the house so I can't keep winding myself up over it. I guess if I'm honest I thought I'd be reupduffed by now and I'm starting to feel really pissed off about not being pregnant

Martha please take it easy.

littlepinkfizz Fri 14-Sep-12 21:42:01

jaffa are you ovulating when your c/m becomes loads and white and stretchy? Is that the right time then to Dtd or am I better taking temps or an opk? There seems to be uncertainty as to when to test for the opk - ie morning or 2pm.

I'm 40+ so time is of the essence smile

Just popping by to check in or I loose the thread.

Thinking of you martha make sure you rest. <Plumps pillows and leaves naice chocolates>

littlepinkfizz Fri 14-Sep-12 21:44:05

Martha thanks for joining me on the Itchy and Scratchy show! smile

JaffaSnaffle Fri 14-Sep-12 23:01:35

littlepink, personally I'd throw the book at it and try the lot!

Sorry if tmi, but for me, fertile cm is still clear. Lots of it, quite thick, stretchy and slippery and would strand between my fingers if you tried. It often is described as egg white cm, or ewcm on the conception boards. The white stuff comes after OV for me. When I've had the ewcm, I've done a opk, and it has come up positive. I think the text book guide is that you are most fertile a few days before OV,
to about 2 days after... Sperm can live for about 5 days, and eggs for about 2. I'm often most interested in sex at this time too.

I never tried temping, but I think it can be a really good way to understand your cycle, particularly if you are ovulating at a more unusual time like pebs. I also know some people try it and don't like it, but I'm not the best person to ask.

Also, others might have something to add, or might have different experiences...

My personal opinion is that the more info you have, the better. When ttc, I used to feel very aware that there is just this little window once a month, then you have to wait forever to find out if you're pg, or to
try again. Not a patient person really smile

JaffaSnaffle Fri 14-Sep-12 23:02:35

Oh, meant to add to the voices telling Martha to take it easy.... X

Dorita75 Sat 15-Sep-12 08:55:55

snork I love the reverse early BFN making you think you're not pg (you still could be but we Don't mention thatgrin) I like it and hope it is indeed, giving you a mental break! I'm in the 2ww so weighing up whether to just wait till AF's due or to test early. I plan to do the first one but am secretly counting days until I can test early

Take care Martha

Dorita75 Sat 15-Sep-12 08:55:56

snork I love the reverse early BFN making you think you're not pg (you still could be but we Don't mention thatgrin) I like it and hope it is indeed, giving you a mental break! I'm in the 2ww so weighing up whether to just wait till AF's due or to test early. I plan to do the first one but am secretly counting days until I can test early

Take care Martha

MumTumWanted Sat 15-Sep-12 09:33:19

Freaking out ...... Am having massive huge sharp pains right in the centre of my lower tummy ( right where my womb etc is) pain is shooting down wards towards my Womble area .... I'm thinking this is defo not good major freaking out sadsadsad

MumTumWanted Sat 15-Sep-12 10:41:22

After much googling confused had large glass of water and a warm bath and it does seem to bd subsiding. Seems it could have been just ligaments stretching of even dehydration. I hope so. I'm now very scared . No other symptoms though so fingers crossed blush

It probably is, I still get all sorts of odd pains. How many weeks are you now mumtum

MumTumWanted Sat 15-Sep-12 12:27:45

I'm 8+1 today it's just horrible the metalling I mean ......

Dorita75 Sat 15-Sep-12 13:24:54

It sounds good that it's calmed down a bit after Dr Google advice, how are you now mumtum?

mumtum I had the exact same pains between 8-11wks bloody scary, staying hydrated, baths and sitting knees together helped. Midiwfe said it was totally normal x

Well I'm 26wks now! shock

MarthasHarbour Sat 15-Sep-12 14:41:43

mumtum i am holding your hand but am sure you will be fiiiine. listen to the wise words of the metallers.

littlepink how old are you? i will be 40 in Jan (Jack was due a week before my big birthday - cant believe i was moaning about that hmm) I was concerned that we should stop TTC as i was getting past it; but have changed our minds now. My friend gave birth to her second just after her 44th birthday grin

I didnt read your wise words and have rebelled, i went to the allotment this morning and am shattered hmm DH has made me sit on the sofa, me and DS are watching Monsters Inc smile

<scoffs naice chocolates provided by state>

MumTumWanted Sat 15-Sep-12 16:52:04

Thanks ladies x I'm sure had a never mc I wouldn't worry so much but I've no need to tell u all the slightest thing and it sets us off. I've had odd cramps and twinges all day not like pain this morning so I'm totally. Hoping it's just stretching. Probably the hydration thing to ms has been so bad for the last 5-6 days I've not actually managed to keep down and solids hmm I didn't want to complain about that though as my first mc warning signs have Benin loss of symptoms confusedconfused confusing ol game this eh ladies .....

R whites lemonade lollies anyone ??? Ill leave some in the freezer in the vip section it's about all I'm digesting at the mo blush

MarthasHarbour Sat 15-Sep-12 17:21:22

I keep thinking I can feel him kick, its not fecking fair sad

I'm always the same, pains till about 14 weeks and the ms doesn't help when it's making you dehydrated. I've found the pains seem to get worse each pg the same as the braxton hicks and the after pains x

Today I'm worrying about the backache and tmi the feeling of something being up there (probably the pesseries and everything's abit swollen which I think is due to increased blood flow during pg) noting else is up there hmm I know because of inserting the pesseries. It's just paranoia!

Xpost with Martha I know, I remember after Jacob . I'm so sorry it's all just so bloody cruel xx

Midgetm Sat 15-Sep-12 17:28:46

Runs in, licks and hugs martha and belly slaps mother nature. That Is bastard unfair.

martha Jack is a lovely name --its my 5yos name-- good choice, I'm sorry mother nature is being such a bitch, but please stay sat down, enjoy monsters inc and rest xx

InsomniaQueen Sat 15-Sep-12 20:10:32

Hi ladies - big hugs and kisses to Marthas, (I'll reply to your message properly later on) it really is utterly shit right now but I'm hoping that your afternoon n the sofa with your LO will have helped.

Well it's good to see we have some good things happening in the metal members club. Whoever mentioned lactulose up thread - that stuff is amazing! I had it after my episiotomy and it saved my bottom. Also for Mumtum I had exactly the same thing as you (panicked and rang the MW) was told to drink water and rest because it was a ligament thing, take it easy for a little bit!!

I haven't managed to properly catch up as we've been away on holiday but just wanted to send you all my love!!!

Things here are just a little bit shit - my wonderful grampy passed away whilst we were away. I just can't put into words how truly wonderful he was and how much he impacted on my life. I feel devastated and struggling to sleep at night but I know I'm still in denial about it all as I went over to his house today and rang the bell expecting him to wave at me from his chair in the window, even though I know he isn't there anymore. Just don't even know where to begin with it all!! sad

MarthasHarbour Sun 16-Sep-12 13:10:17

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Moomins thank you too as i thought i was going crazy feeling the kicks, i feel comforted (right word?) that it is normal. It is heartbreaking though.

IQ i am so so very sorry about your grampy sad sad i feel i know exactly what you are going through as my dear grandad died last May. We were unbelievably close too. My heart goes out to you and i am sending you lots of hugs back across the interweb. I am sorry i didnt see this last night before i replied to your PM - thank you again for your thoughts.

I relented and brushed up the hedge clippings from the path this morning, DH went mad at me for exerting myself, but i made sure i looked like shit (no make up - i am ginger and i neeeeed mascara) with scruffy clothes and frizzy hair, i was hoping that shitty neighbour would come out and say 'dont be silly dear' so i could blame hormones and tell her to fuck off grin sadly she kept a safe distance in the house!

buzzybeetop Sun 16-Sep-12 13:58:46

Hope you shoved the leaves through neighbour's letterbox Martha! Seriously though give yourself a break. I used last mc as an excuse to spend a week on the sofa watching crap tv and my experience was not nearly as traumatic as yours. Could you sort out a holiday? I found getting away for a week with family helped me loads.
IQ so sorry for loss of your lovely grampy.

Piemistress Sun 16-Sep-12 14:43:00

I know I'm crap and don't post on here very much anymore but I just wanted to say to Martha that I am thinking of you and wish I could give you a big hug, I am keeping everything crossed for the biggest fattest positive for you soon. So sorry iq to hear of your grampsy's passing xx

Congrats on all the new bfps and new additions! Was there ever a grads thread?Hi to the newbies, I couldnt have got through things without the support of the ladies on this thread, sorry for lack of name checks

Ps any word on poppy Jens baby?

MarthasHarbour Sun 16-Sep-12 15:23:36

waves to pie i think there should be a grads thread as i have completely forgotten whether you have DD or DS confused blush thank you for the hugs though xx

buzzybee i plan to do just that this week, i am meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow but the rest of the week is feet up time.

Thinking of you IQ xxx

Hope everyones doing ok, especially you martha x

<Hands out thorntons and lindor, tis my birthday smile>

Piemistress Sun 16-Sep-12 16:58:23

DS is 2.8yrs, and DD is 12 weeks already!

I can't remember if I said but I bumped into a colleague and his wife in the miscarriage ward last year which was a horrible coincidence. A nicer coincidence though was having our babies 3 weeks apart this summer.

Happy birthday state!! Hope you had a lovely day.

Just had an unexpected house viewing with five mins notice and I was still in my pjs at 3pm blush

lurcherlover Sun 16-Sep-12 20:27:23

Happy birthday state! Enjoy the chocs in lieu of wine!

Just a quick check-in from me. 9 weeks today, so if my bean is still going strong it's further along than the last one, which was measuring 8+6. So I may be over a little milestone or may not, just wish I had a window into my uterus...was metalling a bit today as my thug toddler ds was in bed with us this morning and suddenly decided to sit with a big thud on my lower abdomen. I know that at 9 weeks bean isn't even above the level of my pelvis yet, and that realistically ds couldn't have done any damage, but that doesn't stop the metalling, does it? 11 days until my next scan...can't wait and dreading it at the same time.

Hugs to everyone xx

Just marking my place. Been away for the weekend and because I've not posted in so long, you'd fallen off my page! Hope you're all ok, will try and catch up tomorrow. x

Thank you smile

lurcher my big two seemed to have a magnetic pull to my lower abdomen in the early days, stray elbows, feet and bottoms were always bashing it, all fine at 26wks, it may just be a bit loony when it arrives like dd haha!

Dd has developed a really sweet habbit of kissing my bump whenever she cuddles or kisses me, she is so excited to be a big sister!

littlepinkfizz Mon 17-Sep-12 14:24:57

Well done lurcher!.

Happy birthday state! Can I have a Linder,though may pop back for a thorntons!

martha hugs for you,you never seem too far from my thoughts.

Cd 5 day cycle 3 after mmc. Going to buy opk but don't know if doing the right hing. Will give it a whirl anyway. Oh whirl...Twirl...mmmm I fancy some choccie < hands out twirl bars for everyone on the thread >

littlepinkfizz Mon 17-Sep-12 14:28:09

numtum how are you today? Hope all settled down for you x

Tiago Mon 17-Sep-12 14:34:16

Hi ladies. Just thought I would drop by. Haven't been around for a bit due to the mentalling (I've been preferring the Ostrich approach to my life). Baby is still developing fine and appears to be average in every way (weight, height, etc), though occasionally goes too quiet and stops wriggling, necessitating trips to hospital to check up on her.

Martha so sorry to hear the news. thanks thinking of you.

Jollyb Mon 17-Sep-12 18:36:05

Hello all

Hope everyone's ok.

Not much to report here. Bumbling along trying not to think about POASing.

Hope you had a good birthday state.
Lurcher, Tiago glad things are going ok with your pregnancies.

Catch up soon x
Ps an extra kiss for brave Martha x

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 17-Sep-12 21:18:48

hi all,
iq so sorry about your grampy sad

hi to tiago, I was wondering what had happened to you, glad baby is doing ok.

and piemistress hi to you!

martha hope you are doing ok, I've been thinking of you x

happy birthday to state, lindor is my favourite!

lurcher know what you mean about children bashing into the mini-bump - I see it as beneficial to my mental health to eat lots of cake and grow a rubber ring of lard around my womble area, to protect small bean.

so pinkfizz I'll have a twirl! but quite fancy a toblerone, glad the guidance has changed since I had DD so I can have nuts without metalling now.

afm, feeling a bit sad and scared. I had loads of symptoms for the MMC, so even having symptoms now (excessive saliva, nausea, light headed, starving hungry, indigestion, wind ok probably TMI now!), just keep thinking "it's just like the MMC, the bean is going to die sad".

Having a 7 wk scan on Thursday, so hoping that it will be ok this time. But even then, with the MMC they would have seen a heartbeat at 7wks, so even this scan won't be totally reassuring. Aaggh! confused. What a pile of crap. I keep thinking this one needs to be different from the MMC. A friend who had a similar experience, then a lovely DS said her 2 pg were very similar, which gives me a bit of hope. Have you guys found your mcs similar to your successful pgs?

At least it's not ectopic again, I have to keep reminding myself of small mercies, well that's a rather large one. Also a friend of mine had an aneurism recently and nearly died, so that puts it all into perspective. Ok enough rambling,

hi to everyone else I haven't mentioned, hope you're all doing ok

woody17 Tue 18-Sep-12 08:20:44

Hi everyone - I was hoping for some help/advice. I had a mc in July. It took a while to get a bfn again after the mc but af arrived in August. I did have a few days of brown discharge before it started.

This month, I've not been totally sure about dates etc. I was on holiday and trying to just enjoy dtd etc.

I started having a tiny amount of brown discharge on Saturday. I thought that this must be start of af but there's hardly been anything at all. I've only been having brown discharge (although I did have a tiny amount of dark blood in the middle of the night when I wiped. My boobs have also been feeling really sore and it's felt like they've got worse. Anyway, I decided to do a test last night as I have a lot of the internet cheapies and I've become a bit obsessed with poas. There was hardly any urine and it was almost clear as I'd been drinking so much but I thought there was something there. I've test again this morning and I've got a faint +ve on the internet cheapie. It's definitely there - you don't need to squint to see. It may be that I ov a lot later then I thought I did.

To be honest, I just feel really frightened. I'm already having this brown discharge and as I said there was a tiny amount of blood through the night. I'm frightened that things are going wrong already. I don't even know if I'd want early scans this time as last time, everything seemed ok and then it all went wrong.

Has anyone else experienced this and things have been ok?

I think that I'll go and buy a branded test and see what it says. I did test last week with superdrug and first response tests but got bfn.

MumTumWanted Tue 18-Sep-12 11:06:53

Hi all

Had a manic few days which wasn't ideal but hey did taken mind of metalling though I'm back again now sad

State and lurched I have a 4 year old cocker spaniel who also seems to now make a beeline for my lower tum I like tax idea of building a protective ring of lard ... If only I could keep food down confused

Martha hope ur doing on hun x

Tiago yay for average wink means all is well and must be a huge comfort

Jolly I to am a self confessed poas addict I loved the opks as it meant u got to indulge more frequently blush

Iq I'm so sorry for the loss of your grampy hope you are doing ok and remembering all the lovely things you did together x

Woody welcome hun sounds to me like a positive wink just remember brown blood is old blood so try not to worry could also have been implantation bleed depending on when it was ......

Afm still nausea all day and can only really eat and keep it down after 8 pm I see that ring of lard appearing .... Jeans don't do up now but reluctant to enter the mat clothes just yet. I want to try to wait til my 12 week scan if I get there ......

Anyone got an opinion I was scanned at 6+5 and lovely strong hb. But then got told that was it till my 12 week one. For a metaller like me it's scary not knowing .... After 3 mc I know some of u ladies have had fortnightly reassurance scans ... I'd both love and dread this confused dh wants to just wait I think he loves just believing its all ok and doesn't want it spoilt whereas I would rather know sooner being that my body doesn't seem to recognise if my beans have stopped growing confused.... I'm tempted to ring epu and ask there advise but just don't really know.......

Leaves out yummy old school cornflake tart cake and custard and some home made lemonade

MumTumWanted Tue 18-Sep-12 11:07:38

Sorry for the typos damn I phone autocorrect !

woody17 Tue 18-Sep-12 20:22:36

Thanks mumtum - hopefully everything will be ok. I think if I hadn't previously mc, I maybe wouldn't be so worried about it all. I just keep thinking the worst. Trying to be positive but not sure how to be!

Dorita75 Tue 18-Sep-12 21:27:17

woody I agree with mumtum that it's probably old blood that is being squeezed out because a nice egg is nestling into the lining wink

Also trying not to think about POAS, 5 days until AF due....the day we go on hols for a week...hoping to hold out as long as possible...hard isn't it jollyb!!

Good luck with your scan Tas will be thinking of you

A really good friend in work had an ectopic last month and had to have one of her tubes removed, she's just found out she's pg again and it could be ectopic again...waiting for bloods results and second scan...How did we ever think having babies was straightforward???

Hi to everyone else, help yourselves to a bowl of fruit and cream...

Mmm fruit and cream, thanks Dorita

woody I also agree with mumtum - fingers crossed for you!

I'm just tottering along. Am 15+4 and starting to maybe feel the first flutterings of movements? Either that or I'm a bit windy. wink Not metalling too much at the moment, but I have almost 2 weeks until my '16 week' (ha) appointment with midwife and I'll be metalling before that. I hope she tries to find, and finds, a heartbeat!

woody17 Tue 18-Sep-12 21:54:49

Thank you dorita and backward possum - really hope it's all going to be ok.

MarthasHarbour Tue 18-Sep-12 22:07:12

pops in and scoffs Lindor and Twirl bars! grin

holding lots of hands tonight with all the metallers, welcome woody and congrats on your BFP! i agree that this blood is probably old blood, so hang in there smile

i bought some Boots cheapo pee sticks today (the value ones are on 3 for 2 - so you pay a tenner for six tests in total). I did a test and i have got my BFN, which was bittersweet as it is yay for TTC again and sad because, well my baby has gone sad

Anyway - that means we are all systems go to start TTC again but i am still bleeding (which is to be expected as it is only a week and a half after Jack was born) so we will have to wait a few days, i thought the bleeding had stopped at the weekend but it is still there. I know i am just too impatient but we just feel robbed of our baby and want to be pregnant again so 'i can do it properly this time' (yes yes i know that is irrational but i am a metaller)

I had the most insincere condolence this morning, one of the mums at the nursery asked how i was, i shrugged my shoulders and said 'well not great but getting there' she just looked at me and said with no emotion at all 'well i dont know what to say' Now loads of people have said that to me which i am fine with, but SHE said it to me as if i had the audacity to put her in that situation angry stupid bitch

Then tonight i was in the park with DS when one of the mums who i hardly know came running over to me and enveloped me in a huge hug and kiss and said how sorry she was - yep, that was really lovely, that is all the other mum had to do hmm

Rant over!

littlepinkfizz Wed 19-Sep-12 10:26:06

You can rant all you want martha .thats what we are all here for and you are perfectly entitled to! Stupid bitch. Hope she never has to go through such a loss.
It's only normal to have all the mixed emotions. Just go with them martha x

Jollyb Wed 19-Sep-12 12:58:59

Oh Martha - what a thing to say. I haven't been through anything as traumatic as you with my miscarriages but I agree all you want people to say is 'I'm sorry' or 'how are you?'.

Now that I've hit the magic 3 miscarriages my friends keep asking about whether I'm being referred for investigations etc. Am sure they're being well meaning but it just reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with me. I don't want to be referred. I want to have a normal pregnancy like I had with my daughter.

Rant over and many congrats to Woody xxx

Oh martha she was a total twat. Some people just have no idea do they? I hope the far nicer lady made up for it xxx

jolly well meaning or not your allowed to feel annoyed at the comments, all this mc lark can wear us down, and unless you've lived it you have no idea. I had two early mcs 4/6wks then the 14wk mmc, and it was (so far) 4th time lucky! It was SO frustrating as I fell pg with ds and dd so easily. I sometimes think it may be the whole 'mc protecting us from a baby who wouldn't make it long term' does that make sense? Good luck anyway x

I can't believe your 15wks backward that seems to have gone really quickly! I felt flutters from 13wks, I'm sure of it now wrigglers like the cast of stomp.

As for me I'm 26+4, plodding along nicely. The fear does still get me some days, but mostly I'm good. Picked up an amazing crib this week, steriliser and change bag, so I am getting braver, slowly!

MarthasHarbour Wed 19-Sep-12 14:25:29

jolly i know exactly what you mean, i got sick of people saying to me that all i need to do is 'just go to the GP and they will do blood tests' like that is the magic route to a successful pregnancy hmm

state oo how exciting - i am congratulating you on your <tentative> bravery smile

i have just had a visit from two of the lovely staff at DS's nursery, they brought round a lovely bunch of flowers and lots of hugs and chat. They have worked there for years and have seen many mums come and go with the same kind of thing, they were just so lovely (and told me to ignore the twat mum - they know who she is and think she is a twat too grin )

<lays out a sumptuous luncheon of english tea served on doilys with cheese scones, plate pies, smoked salmon sandwiches, and cream cakes>

<channelling my inner Downton Abbey self>

littlepinkfizz Wed 19-Sep-12 14:34:11

That's lovely martha that there are some sentient people still about.

Yes please to all of the above- you do spoil us here!

Have just been scoffing choccie digestives so may put mine on a plate for later...

Anxious about opk as do doesn't know. He has a hernia and awaiting surgery and feels it is hindering him getting an erection(tmi) . Naturally he's feeling über sensitive about this and does not like any pressure to perform so whether we actually Dtd on smiley days or not, who knows??

Would everyone here please please please keep all fingers and toes x as well as those of your children, partner, neighbours and pets for us? It's such a sensitive issue blush

MarthasHarbour Wed 19-Sep-12 14:42:06

littlepink your poor DH <stifles a giggle> wink is there any way you can, erhem, manoeuvre oneselves in order to - well you know - create minimum impact to his hernia situation hmm Be creative girl!! grin

littlepinkfizz Wed 19-Sep-12 14:50:04

Oh martha you are naughty!
Its his male pride that is the problem! Wil be doing my very best to start those little swimmers on their merry way! wink

littlepink dd has crossed her eyes for you, and I echo martha get creative wink

Jollyb Wed 19-Sep-12 22:37:55

Little pink hope you've managed to get your wicked way.

I'm beginning to spot so I think my period is on the way sad I suppose i should be thankful it was a relatively short WTF cycle. Next Question is should I dig out the old clearblue fertility monitor or go au naturel for this cycle? Ho hum

littlepinkfizz Thu 20-Sep-12 09:15:59

jolly managed to Dtd last night but just for fun as only on cd 7 today so no chance of me ovulating yet.

I'm just starting to use opk this month,they recommend me starting on Sunday.if I was you, I would definitely be using the monitor? Every little helps! x

grainmum Thu 20-Sep-12 09:53:27

Hello, thought I'd come and join you. We had a MMC at the end of July at around 10 weeks. AF then arrived at the beginning of September so we said goodbye to condoms again. This week we've been putting in more effort than usual, and DH has taken this to almost every night. At times it's quite difficult for me to get myself "in the mood". I do really want to fall pregnant again, I do really love DH and I do enjoy dtd. What can I do?

pebspop Thu 20-Sep-12 13:45:09

grain you can either lie back and think of england or just relax and take it easy. you will get pg again it doesn't have to be this cycle! at least your dh is keen. mine hates it when he knows it the right time of the month.

jolly i would get the cbm out. why not eh?!

i am still plodding away here. going for a scan tomorrow and should be 11 weeks. starting to get extra nervous now as my first mc happened at 11+4 after going for my dating scan at 11 weeks and seeing heartbeat. if everything is ok tomorrow i have my dating scan next thursday will also be seeing the consultant to go through the plan for getting me through the next trimester.

hope everyone is ok and the quietness of this thread means everyone is just plodding!

hope you are ok martha