Fantastic 40+ thread - part 7

(1000 Posts)
lolfactor Thu 28-Jun-12 20:41:44

Shiny new thread - over here everyone smile

AngelGeorgie Thu 28-Jun-12 21:29:48

Good god Lol are you superwoman??? Finding time to start a new thread also???? Xx

hopefulgum Thu 28-Jun-12 23:45:35

Thanks Lol, for the new thread. Can't believe you have to juggle everything with a brand new baby. Your brother has no idea does he? When I had Charlie I told family and friends that I wanted no visitors for 2 weeks after he was born, because I didn't want to be a hostess, but not everyone listened. However, they did bring food, so I let them in!

There's so much going on , I've been sick, so can't keep up. I've caught DS's dreadful illness - a flu complete with vomiting. Nasty. I'm still feverish and aching, but seemed to have stopped vomiting. I honestly don't know how you coped with H.G when pregnant. It's just so awful.

That was very interesting about the hormones Lol - it wouldn't surprise me. I don't know why so many doctors are resistant about giving women progesterone. I'll have a look at that study when I feel a bit better. It might be worth showing my doctor.

Diege Fri 29-Jun-12 07:43:53

Thanks for new thread Lol - agree, your brother sound a bit, umm, not in the real world grin. I honestly don't know how you kept quiet and went food shopping!
Gum poor you picking up the bug - I think you thought you were coming down with something (as opposed to being meonpausal wink) in your last post. Take it easy!
Not sure why GPs so reluctant to prescribe progesterone - is it super expensive? confused

blackcatsdancing Fri 29-Jun-12 10:31:03

lol you is superwoman! and what is wrong with your brother! The rules are clear all guests bring something for you to eat, even if the best they can manage is a box of chocolates. I used to make a wholemeal fruit cake (nothing too rich) , sounds a bit dull but for friends who i knew liked fruit cake it went down well as there are loads of good nutrients in the dried fruits, good for constipation and various other useful properties. Keeps well.
I can't imagine how you did it- shopping with such a tiny babe. ah well nice little story to talk about in years to come!

hopeful so sorry you are ill. Hope you recover soon.

reluctance over progesterone is because there is no proof yet that it prevents MC. There is a huge study going on (Promise study) which may clear it up. You can't randomly give P to every pregnant woman who has MCs, it won't advance clinical understanding. Always best if woman who have recurrent MC get onto some sort of study or trial and are properly monitored where the results can be scientifically studied. That way doctors can have a better understanding of what works and what doesn't. A woman who has had 3 MC and is then given P and carries to term will naturally believe the P worked, she will tell everyone it worked for her but it could be completely unconnected, that's why they need proper trials. There are lots of women on MN who have posted that they had several MC and finally had baby who were not given P. I'm looking forward to seeing the results from the study when it finishes as it will hopefully give us better information on how many women Progesterone does help and so how useful it is.

TinaO99 Fri 29-Jun-12 15:57:11

some random celebrity news for you - carla bruni is pregnant again at the age of 44!

Have a great weekend everyone :-)

blackcatsdancing Fri 29-Jun-12 18:17:04

ah but how is the question? Wish i could use donor eggs but DP won't hear of it

10000fireflies Fri 29-Jun-12 18:46:20

grin evening all

One handed typing from me, so will be brief-ish. Yeah lol you is Superwoman. Thx for shiney new thread.

Is the bistro open tonight? Anything chinese on the menu?


Diege Fri 29-Jun-12 18:48:50

You're in luck fireflies , bistro just opened grin We can make Chinese the theme if you like (tell that lol that she's chef though, having set a precedent and all wink). I'm having veggie spring rolls, followed by tofu in black bean sauce, with crispy noodles and prawn crackers. Mmmm...

10000fireflies Fri 29-Jun-12 18:53:59

brill! diege! In that case, seaweed, aromatic crispy duck pancakes, sweet n sour king prawns and special fried rice please! yummmmmmmm

hopefulgum Sat 30-Jun-12 00:22:30

Oooh, yummy (despite feeling awful, I can dream), I'll have some prawn dumplings, salt and pepper squid (is that chinese?), and some peking duck. Mmmm...

Feeling a bit better today, less aches,no more vomiting (sorry, I know we're also talking about dinner hmm), but still not ready for real life. I still haven't had a positive opk. Possibly could have missed it while I was sick, but doubt it(temp still low,despite being sick) - think it's just slow this time,after the chemical and now this illness. Hopefully the egg will wait til I'm ready to have SWI.

Whilst I've been sick I've been catching up on some viewing, and made the mistake of watching a BBC series called "Bodies". Have you seen it? Bloody hell, please tell me your hospitals are NOT like that! It was terrifying and I think I'd stay as far away from hospital as possible if I had any gynae/obs type problems.
Having said that, I did watch all 5 or 6 episodes, so despite being horrified,I found it compellingconfusedviewing. It helped pass the hours anyway.

FF and Lol, hope your sweet little boys are doing well. Are you both breast-feeding? How's it going? Please tell me it is worth all the angst of ttc and miscarriages,and waiting? I want to keep the hope, but I think being sick has made me feel a bit hopeless. I suppose it's been a tough couple of weeks, perhaps I'll see things differently when I'm back to normal.

Oh, and I'll have a nice crisp chardonnay with mine, thanks Deigethanks

Diege Sat 30-Jun-12 07:24:15

Oh poor gum, I didn't realise you were still feeling rotten sad. An extra luxurious thanks for you. Concentrate on gettng well, don't stress about the opks. Your body knows what it should be doing and I have no doubt you'll get another bfp hopefully soon with your level of fertility xx Oh and Bodies, yes...Max Beasley grin. I remember him being a major crush at the time (I'll forgive him the dodgy practices, although from memory I think he was one of the 'good' guys?)
I have a day of standardisation at my computer for AQA (exam board) today. I always get quite stressed about it as it involves marking 'blind' and then pressing a button at the end of it all to see how wrong you are. Same again tomorrow too! Hoping to catch the Murray game on Wimbledon too, but the light has gone out of W for me now that Nadal has gone out. Murray is not the same, in so many ways wink.
Right, better get to it. Love to all xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 30-Jun-12 09:16:41

gum sorry your ill - it's going around - those vomiting bugs take it out of you for days after so hope you feel better soon.
even though it's 9am on saturday and i've just had breakfast, let's talk about dinner. i'd like chicken and cashew nuts. can i also have a vietnamese crispy pancake?

Diege Sat 30-Jun-12 10:57:55

Hee hee, it's not a running buffet somewhere wink. Still, have extended bistro-might to Sat am for some (eg. Italian and her paella requests ) on occasion, so will do the same for you grin

Sending hugs to all the ladies. Miaalexandersmummy I do hope you are well and keeping good.

Hopefulgum, thinking of you.

Hippy, hugs my dear.

Hugs to Twirly BB, sparkleysappire, Jolly, Diege, Somewhere, Angelgeorgie, clickingtock , Lol, Elena, Knickyknocks, Tina, Marythersa, Blackcatdancing, Shandy, movelikejagger, gothinrecovery, * tazpat*, Mrscupcake, Clicking, Purple and all.

Did I miss any nubies? please tell me I am getting daft in old age!

Me, I am doing well, now totally committed to adoption and quite happy to be able to wear under-wired bras and not think about babies and breast feeding and birth anymore! Apologies to all of you who are looking forward to that/have just come through that. It did take a very long time to get to this point! have a meeting we can go to in about 10 days and after that just another two months before we can finally get officially on the adoption trail! Hoping to lose some weight before that day so any arrow prayers for weight loss success would be wonderful, please!

Had five friends visit today, well a couple with three kids, my daughter was a bit cross that the middle kid messed up all her stuff - I did explain this is what little kids do! Have talked to DD about adoption. She is not the kind of kid who will be asking me about it all the time, she is asking me about everything else all the time anyway! It is funny as she has been saying she really wants a baby brother! I keep saying it probably won't be a baby and it might not be a boy!

Hugs to all.

Irishmammybread Sun 01-Jul-12 00:06:21

italian, kids are funny sometimes aren't they!
We had a sad moment this evening though when an ad with a baby came on tv and out of the blue my youngest dd (8) said " I wish I was still going to have a little brother or sister".
She didn't seem too upset around the time of my MC at the end of March and has hardly spoken about it since but it just shows, you sometimes don't know what goes on in those little heads!
I hope all goes well with your adoption plans.

Irishmammybread sorry to hear about that, I am sure kids do remember these things. All best wishes.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 01-Jul-12 09:28:26

italian really interesting - I've no way of knowing where I'll end up but that journey is one we must all think about. I talked about 'what if we don't' with my DP the other night and it was such a strange thing. I'm glad that you're in a good place. A good friend of mine is going for adoption now (no kids at all) and I'm so pleased for her - she was like my mum at times so there's a kid out there that really needs her. My cousin also adopted and it's gone really well.

I'm on 2ww possibly, as didn't catch my ovulation - just went on 'natural' indicators like feeling like DTD. have super-sore boobs, earlier than usual. could be some sort of conception-ish thing or could just be i'm getting AF early. I must admit that old adage 'you can't be a little bit pregnant' is total rubbish as evinced by the 2ww nuances.

good luck to everyone hope you are well
diege thanks for the order! i'm a bit obsessed by food.

Pocket1 Sun 01-Jul-12 21:35:12


Hope you dont mind me popping in - i'm a long time lurker but rarely post...

I had fresh ivf at Christmas, got a bfp but mc at 6 weeks. i've just had fet (put back two) and got a bfn.

I'm 45, DP is 40 and fit and well. We've used donor eggs as can't use mine.

I dont know what to do next - am i too old to try again? At what point do we give up? We'd need to completely start again with a new donor as we have nothing on ice now... Any success stories or words of wisdom would be hugely appreciated.



pocket I'm afraid I have no useful advice for you, but send many positive thoughts of future BFPs or otherwise, some level of peace if you decide not to continue. I'm sure that others here will have some direct experience and would be willing to share, as here are women here who are asking similar questions of themselves.

italian I am delighted to hear from you and your new adoption preparations. Me, I am now at 17 weeks, and feeling wonderful little flutters. After we publicly announced my pregnancy, everything seems to be growing outwards incredibly rapidly!! I have told you all how I have been so fearful about this pg, but am slowly coming to the conclusion that I don't want Mia's legacy in my life to be of darkness and fear, as she represented all that was beautiful, joyful and pure, and it is her love that I must take forward. It won't be easy, but it is something I feel I must do, for her, and for her little sibling...

lol agree you should change your name to Superwoman!! Thank you for this sparkly new thread, may it bring hope to all here... xx

hopefulgum Mon 02-Jul-12 00:56:31

Mia'smummy, I'm so glad to hear that your pregnancy is going well, and such lovely wise words about the beautiful joy that Mia gave you,and that you are taking forward.thanks

Pocket, I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. It's a bloody hard journey,isn't it? I can't tell you what to do,as I've not been in your position, but if I had a willing partner, and could scrape together the money, I would personally try again with donor eggs.There's still a really good chance that you will get pregnant and carry a baby to term. If my Dh was remotely willing to go down that road, I would do it.

Somewhere, I hope they are positive

AFM, still no sign of ovulation, but quite pleased about that, as we are still not the house of health. I still feel a bit off, and my poor DH had a restless night, feeling unwell. We finish term on Friday (thank goodness!) and I'm looking forward to two weeks of no rushing! Lovely.

Pooley42 Mon 02-Jul-12 08:46:47

Joining in here. Used to forums just not this one.

42 and trying for baby with second husband. I have three already (21,12 and 10). Scary going back to all this but can't stop wanting it. Conceived so easily last three times aware I may be disappointed this time.

blackcatsdancing Mon 02-Jul-12 10:00:37

welcome pooley . I'm 44 , my only child is away at Uni so I too am starting over. Managed to get to over 8 weeks pregnant this year but had a MMC- picked at at 12 week scan. Just had a CP. Hoping to get a sticky one before end of year as not very hopeful of my chances after that.

miasmummy really so happy for you smile

Irishmammybread Mon 02-Jul-12 12:33:28

Hi Pooley, I'm 44 and have three kids similar ages to yours, a 19 y old at Uni, a 12 y old and an 8 y old. We had an unexpected pregnancy at the start of the year which unfortunately ended in miscarriage at 11 weeks. We tried again and I got pregnant straight away but miscarried at 6 weeks.
It is scary thinking about starting again at this stage but our family just doesn't feel complete now and I'm longing for a baby to hold so we are trying. Before I started ttc I had an AMH blood test to check ovarian reserve and my result came back as low but good for someone my age. Of course even though it shows I have some eggs left it doesn't indicate if they are good quality. At 42 your chances are probably a lot better and there are lots of success stories on this thread which is encouraging.

Like you blackcats, I feel if it doesn't happen this year for me the chances are it wont happen at all,it feels like it's now or never!

pocket, sorry for your loss. I don't know much about IVF but you certainly hear of success stories for people your age and older,especially with donor eggs.I worry that one of the reasons I might be miscarrying is that my eggs are past their sell by date. I would consider IVF but my DH isn't keen on going down that route really.

TinaO99 Mon 02-Jul-12 12:42:46

blackcats as far as I know she got pregnant naturally - must have happened during a streesful time for her and her hubby too!

Italian lovely to hear from you, good luck on the adoption route! Sorry for your loss pocket I haven't even got that far in terms of conceiving, still a mystery to me but hey ho, all systems go now for donor eggs - just trying to persuade my dr to let me have the CMV blood test I've been told I need on the NHS - talk about stress!! Clinic is now down to 2 months waiting time but i'll definitely need more than that to save 5 grand!

gothinrecovery Mon 02-Jul-12 14:07:55

Gosh another new thread!

Pocket - so sorry to hear about your loss - welcome to the thread and sending hugs.

Hi to pooley as well.

I am 43, no kids, mc'd recently at 7 weeks, had a probable chem 6 months ago though never tested (but am fairly sure given symptoms). Like blackcats crossing fingers for a sticky soon, all the stuff about enhanced progesterone levels after mc is interesting reading. I asked the specialist at the hospital though and they said there was no point prescribing me anything as I had demonstrated I could get pg naturally - though they did say they would give me a very early scan next time. I just hope there is a next time as we have now been TTC for over 4 years sad In the meantime trying not to stress too much about it all!

twirlyagogo Mon 02-Jul-12 17:11:11

What a lot of new people! How lovely - more good news too hopefully.

goth - I've been told the same; that everything is anecdotal if you're able to conceive naturally, blackcats is right, I think. We're all desperately hoping that there is something miraculous out there and it's hard to accept that there isn't, but I'm holding onto the fact that I have been able to conceive, I'm just not very good at keeping going.

Still, as I said in the last thread, I'll be having another bash once the girls are in place grin!

Pocket1 Tue 03-Jul-12 08:12:13

Thank you for the very warm welcome.

Miasmummy so happy to hear of your fluttering tummy.

So sorry about others' mcs - it's so cr*p isn't it.

Fx lots of sticky bfps here v soon. I am hugely heartened to see similar ages to mine and to hear of successes.

I think today is the day I'm going to call my consultant for the bfn follow up appointment. She wants to discuss our options, which sounds like there is still hope...

Happy damp Tuesday!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 03-Jul-12 08:17:37

pooley hi if you can get more donor eggs then you are good to go until you are, like, sixty or seventy no? The ethics of that are debatable but the only thing that is the problem with being 45 is egg quality and if you're not using your own eggs then that isn't in the equation. This is not obviously taking into account the emotion - I'm really sorry for your loss and I know what a big deal fertility treatment is - good luck.

What's the expression - symptom-watching or something? I am a very extreme symptom watcher. yesterday came in from work and had to have a nap to get through the evening. today rumblings of AF. I am telling myself to expect AF.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 03-Jul-12 08:18:24

miasmummy great, fantastic news. so pleased for you. sensible words but no-one around you should expect it to be easy xx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 03-Jul-12 08:20:28

pooley sorry that sounded bossy - i didn't mean it to. It's so hard but I hope you have lots of time to keep trying and you will get there in the end. x

knickyknocks Tue 03-Jul-12 09:38:14

MAM lovely news re your bump, things are progressing as they should be.
lol you really are superwoman - and that story about the supermarket!! I like others would have been tempted to tell your brother where stick any current bun that you bought grin. How's that lovely new arrival of yours?
FF are you doing ok?
somewhere I'm symptom spotting too.....
pocket, you've had a rough time in the past few months. I haven't considered the IVF way yet (as it seems I can get pg but just not hold onto it), IVF seems a very tough journey, though it seems hopeful that you did become pg, so for me, it seems that your body can do it.
twirly full steam ahead then once the girls are in place?! Fantastic!
gotintherecovery you've had a tough time too. Are the hospital doing any other tests? I understand that they're saying that you've demonstrated that you can get pregnant, but are they checking possible reasons for why things aren't sticking?
italian lovely to hear from you. I love that your DD is putting in an order for what she'd like! I'm sure she'll be happy with whoever is destined to join your family.
Hello to everyone else twirly, diege, pooley, angel, blackcats, hopeful, irishmammy, tina

As for me, I'm doing OK and now 10DPO. Due on this Saturday for my first period since the chem pg last month. I have to say that I've got some more pg symptoms going on so tempted to test again this month. I've got sore boobs and a tugging sensation ahem...down there.....and had a few waves of nausea when I was lying in bed. Not going to get carried away though, have had 3 of those chem pgs now, so may try and hold out testing till the weekend.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 03-Jul-12 10:30:30

twirly i like your style, not sure what the girls are or why they need to be in place but it sounds good!
knickynocks good luck good luck. i know what you mean - even if you do get a a BFP it is only the beginning - its all so paradoxical it makes your head spin. even during the 2WW its like you have to be in two parallel universes at the same time. But no reason this shouldn't be the one. hoping it is. x

knickyknocks Tue 03-Jul-12 12:53:18

Errrr....I think I'm pregnant again......just nipped into the loos at work and got a BFP, telling me it's 1-2 weeks since conception. Blimey.

Have made an appointment to see the GP this Friday because of the problems with things sticking before, but also because of my wretched all day sickness that I had with DD. Who knows, it may not stick, but best be on the safe side.

Blimey ladies, here I go again - I'll be knicker checking for the forseeable future.

gothinrecovery Tue 03-Jul-12 13:01:08

knickynocks great to hear about your BFP, hopefully all will be well this time.

Re further tests for me, the hospital won't do recurrent MC checks until you have had 3 - I have only had 1 confirmed mc as never tested when I had the probable chem pg in October. Doctor thinks it likely I was pg then (4 days late, sore boobs, etc) but as not confirmed kind of doesn't count and in any event would be 2 not 3. So just hoping to get pg again as the first step on the road although I'm finding it hard to stay positive to be honest - though I should as there are so many positive stories on here!

knickyknocks Tue 03-Jul-12 13:06:10

Thanks gotintherecovery. In a funny way, that's why I've tested early (not only as I'm too flipping nosey) but also to sort of prove that I'm having these chem pregnancies and hopefully get some help if I need it. It's so incredibly difficult to stay positive. This thread has helped me as there's so many positive stories on here. I guess I always think there's always a chance that things will work out this time. Have hope gotintherecovery, I hope you too have some good news soon xx

twirlyagogo Tue 03-Jul-12 15:37:48

somewhere - 'the girls' are the full caboodle! Ovulating mostly - then the follow up of non-greying knickers, being slightly more pleasant to OH than usual, not getting my PJs on at half past three . . . . once the girls are in place, it all begins grin


I know it's early, and I know that us lot on here don't have quite the carefree atttitude to BFPs that many have, but still . . . congratulations! thanks

blackcatsdancing Tue 03-Jul-12 16:41:03

knicky great news. FX its a good sticky one for you!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 03-Jul-12 17:35:12

knicky very exciting.
Twirly brilliant attitude. if people got PG on attitude you'd be having octuplets.
gothinrecovery lie as much as you need to - once you know their criteria, just make it up. maybe its too late now but if there's another oppo go for it. maybe its a private healthcare technical thing not an NHS rationing thing if so maybe you can't. but if it's nhs rationing just tell them whatever they need to know to give you the treatment. Good luck on your journey - there are so many stages to it that can bring a DC.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 03-Jul-12 17:36:03

knicky that was a bit of an understatement. I feel a bit teary. It is lovely news. Really hope it sticks xx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 03-Jul-12 17:38:56

Twirly and attitude is significant! thats why people have acupuncture - to chill out x

Pocket1 Tue 03-Jul-12 18:54:07

Congrats Nicky may it be a sticky one for you. And hope you have a fab and supportive gp too. smile

Twirly I have just burst out laughing in public at your 'the girls' explanation. But there is nothing quite like putting your pjs on in the afternoon (maybe that's where I went wrong on my 20s and 30sblush) !!

I've booked to see my consultant at the weekend to chat about what next for us. You guys have spurred me on to try again I think.... Watch this scary space grin

AngelGeorgie Tue 03-Jul-12 19:52:20

Congrats Knicky xxx
Hi all xxx

Irishmammybread Tue 03-Jul-12 19:53:40

Congratulations knicky! Lovely news!!!!

Munchin Tue 03-Jul-12 21:42:42

Hi, mind if I join? I'm 40 with 2dc aged 6 and 4, had a mmc in april where baby stopped growing at 7+6. I had erpc and pretty much had bleeding/spotting for 7 weeks after. So no af yet. But I do worry that maybe I am starting menopause and that my eggs are of poor quality. We won't be going down the route of having tests etc. If it doesnt happen this year that's it for us.

sparklysapphire Tue 03-Jul-12 21:46:12

hi everyone,

I'm trying to keep up, so apologies if I haven't quite managed to assimilate everyone's news.
Congratulations knicky, here's hoping this one's the sticky one!
belated welcome to irish, resipsa, pocket & pooley, I hope none of you need to stay here very long.
gum I hope you're finally feeling a bit better. As for lol, you're clearly some kind of superwoman - cooking for your family, (if that had been my lot, I'd have left them to fend for themselves, nicely of course!), starting the new thread, and all that work to compile the stats list before Teddy was born. I hope you and he are both doing well.
blackcats, sorry to see you've had a cp, fx for next time.
miasmummy I'm glad everything is progressing well, and you are so wise, I hope you are feeling less fearful now. italian, lovely that you're feeling so positive about adoption. Very exciting about the donor egg waiting list moving so quickly tina. And twirly, sounds like you are almost ready to have another go - good luck!

Work has been really busy, I've just done two full weeks and as I've been part-time since returning from maternity leave, I've been really tired, and had no time to do anything. I get to have all this week off though, to balance my hours, which is helping.
Like somewhere (hope you are heading for a BFP), I've had really sore boobs a few days earlier than usual, probably just means to expect AF early, as I have no other symptoms. I think the chances of conceiving this cycle are even lower than usual as we DTD on cd11 (EWCM cd13, sorry if TMI but still not temping/opk-ing), then DH away for work til cd16. As for the next one, DH is away for more than 2 weeks, with 1 day home, but definitely the wrong day, so I guess I have to concentrate my efforts in August. But I'm very aware of time slipping away, and that may well be too late already. We won't be going down the assisted route, as I don't think that's right for us. I don't even know if it's worth going to see the GP for tests, or just do what we can ourselves. Currently on cycle 5, cycle 6 obviously a write-off. Does anyone know if it's possible to buy a BBT thermometer in an actual shop rather than online? My MIL's is coming again next week & she's quite curious so I'd rather not have packages I can't explain turning up while she's here, but I think I do need to get one.

love to all, sorry not mention

hopefulgum Wed 04-Jul-12 00:09:23

Congratulations Knicky - sending sticky vibes your way.thanks

Hi Sparkly, I'm not sure about in the UK, but in Oz I have seen the BBT thermometers in the Chemist shop.I have used one on and off (mainly on) for years and I really like how it helps me know where i am at in my cycle. Normally I'd be confused and at a loss with what's happening this cycle, but by temping I know I haven't yet ovulated.

I'm still waiting to O.It's taking for f%$*ing ever! I'm on CD 20, but that's after the second bleed after the chemical. So it's been longer than 2 months. However, the opk at least had some colour yesterday, so maybe today I'll get a darker one.hmm

I'm really starting to think I'm being terribly unrealistic, but, on the other hand I need to know I gave it my best shot. Which, to date, I think I have. I saw "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen" last night (which I liked) and there was something in there about miracles, and how closely linked faith is to having things happen. It was much more eloquently put, but I can't remember it word for word, but it struck a chord with me. I still have faith that I can be one of the miracles, so it isn't time to throw in the towel yet.

The fog has lifted in my household, thankfully, with all the illness. We are all feeling better, and the sun has been out - a nice change after a couple of freezing, wet, blusterly weeks.Yesterday the sky was totally blue, without a cloud,and I've heard the rest of the week will be like that. Hurray.It's also the last week on an extra long term, so I'll start holidays on Friday. I feel the weight lifting

Welcome Munchin.

Knicky HUGE Congratulations. Hang on sticky bean.

Tina wow, that waiting list is so good. Good luck for the process.

Tina and Sparkly thanks for your kind words.

HUGS to all.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 04-Jul-12 08:15:38

got a bit of a sick feeling this am but it was like normal nausea not pg nausea (which is accompanied in my experience by strong urge to eat). sleeping 10 hours a night but i can do that anyway. Got AF rumbles. Come on, girls! maybe this is your practice run? Next time you show what you can really do?

knickyknocks Wed 04-Jul-12 09:44:07

Thank you lovely ladies for your kind and lovely congratulations. Hopefully it is a sticky one this time. Feel like it may be a wee bit too soon for the congratulations (but it was lovely to hear) as I'm only 3 weeks 3 days so ridiculously early, but more hopefully, I've had a strong pregnancy result already plus I had some waves of nausea again today so it's feeling very different to last month's chem pg symptoms. Much stronger. Eating digestives to stave off any nausea today.

Ooh somewhere feeling sick? I'm keeping everything crossed that you may have some good news soon too. Do you know when AF is due?

sparkly never say never! There's always hope - we didn't DTD this month on the correct day, we were later because of DH's work schedule and it looks like it's worked so you never know. Completely understand though about feeling time is slipping away though. I've been looking at hubby's shift rotas for months now meticulously working out if we're in with a shot (so to speak) or not that month, and it would really get to me if I could almost discount months at a time because of rotas - there were months that I had to get him (and me) to take annual leave in the end as it was the only hope of DTD at the right time.

A big hello to munchin. There's a lot of women on here who will definitely say it's not too late. I'm 40 and TTC #2. I got a BFP yesterday so am hoping that things work out this time.

hopeful lovely to hear you're feeling better. I think the wonderful thing about life it sometimes gives you the most wonderful surprises. It's not time to throw in the towel yet, you're still ovulating and it only takes the one egg and sperm (sounds so simple but we all know how bloody difficulty it seems they have sometimes in finding each other grin)

pocket1 with this thread it spurred me on to go to the GP to start the ball rolling to get some help. I had some blood tests to make sure I was still ovulating, and DH had his swimmers tested. If nothing else it was reassuring that things were all OK (though got to be said a bit frustrating that nothing was wrong......)

somewherebecomingrain Wed 04-Jul-12 10:22:16

AF due on Sunday... just got some spotting of the old variety if you know what i mean rather than fresh (trying to be delicate and not TMI) has stopped but it's almost certainly AF on the way, nothing particularly strange about spotting. I'm also getting proper period pains.

The thing is that this would be the shortest cycle i've ever had - 24 days - and I didn't ovulate when i normally do - not sure i did at all - which makes me think something definitely happened last month (i had a late, unusually long period with pains right through to the end and beyond to the extent I nearly groaned in public).

which sort of cheers me up - maybe irrationally.

sorry to be me me me but this is the moment when the parallel universes diverge and you know which one you're in.

knicky praying for a sticky for you. signs are good.

munchin hi there!

Diege Wed 04-Jul-12 10:41:57

Arghh! Just wrote a long post and then lost it as mumsnet 'offline' angry.
To summise....many congrats knicky grin. I just knew you were, and early pos very good too xxx

sparkly I see now that you think af is indeed on its does sound like something may indeed have happened last month - I know what you mean about it oddly giving you hope xx

Italian great news on the adoption front. There's a good article in this month's Red magazine about adoption that might be worth a read? They're following the fortunes of a woman just starting out on the adoption process; I thought of you when reading it! I can tear out and post to you if you don't want to buy the mag?

Gum so glad you're feeling better - and great timing too what with that faint opk heading in the right direction grin. Just wondering what the Salmon Fishing film was like? I bought the book for dh last year (not even opened) and thought I might try it once I've finished my Martina Cole blush

munchkin welcome! So sorry for your mmc. I had one at 10 weeks a while back (back had also died at 7 + 6) so know how much anxiety surrounds waiting to try again.

All fine here, very busy. Odd reading this thread and then using temping for contraceptive purposes. Feel wrong somehow grin. Let's just hope I don't get confused in my old age wink

knicky how wonderful! wishing you much stickiness and peaceful knicker-checking!! (these things could only ever be said on this sort of thread... wink)

Thank you to everyone for your wonderful thoughts, and a big welcome to all the lovely new ladies who have joined us here. Lots of knowledge and support to be found here.

Go twirly and the girls go!!

AngelGeorgie Wed 04-Jul-12 19:19:56

Oh Diege I love Martina Cole xxwink

blondie72 Wed 04-Jul-12 19:45:59

Hello there! Can I join too? Just turned 40 and ttc no.3!
Fingers crossed for all of us x

monsterchild Wed 04-Jul-12 19:50:12

Greetings! i am a long-time lurker, but feel brave enough to join, if that's ok. I'm 41, 15w with my first! Very excited but also tired and worried. had 2 mc before this and was told by fertility doc that not likely to happen. Of course, a month later I got the BFP!

Anyway, that's all!

Pocket1 Wed 04-Jul-12 20:09:58

Somewhere could that be implantation???? wink

Welcome Blondie and Monster. Monster always fab to hear of good news. smile

10000Fireflies Wed 04-Jul-12 22:41:47

Just popping in for a quick hello while DH takes baby firefly for a bit. The cluster feeding all morning and all evening leaves little time for anything else, but I'm not complaing - just explaining my inability to keep up with you all properly at the mo.

Baby FF is gorgeous and scrummy. When can I go back on the TTC list? Already plotting number 2 though determined to enjoy him all I can and live in the moment.

Hugs to all, especially those of you having a tough time TTC.

hopefulgum Thu 05-Jul-12 00:16:46

Oooh, Fireflies, ttc again soon? Can't wait to have you on board the train again. Lovely to hear that your wee boy is scrummy. I'm envy, but so happy for all you new mummies.

Hurray, I got a very dark (almost, not quite +) opk last night, I think it would have been darker earlier in the day, and had ovary rumblings.Temperature up today, so I think I Oed last night. SWI-ed the night before, so fingers crossed that once was enough. If not, that's okay too, because I'm not wanting to get anxious about it all.

Deige, temping got me into trouble (of the best kind) in the past. But I was inexperienced in those days. I'm pretty sure you know exactly what's going on. But even numbers are nicer...hmm...aren't theywink?

Hello ladies, I often pop in but I've not posted before. I'm 41 and ttc #2. I had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured in November 11 so I'm down to one tube. I've been charting and opk since December and pretty much driving myself nuts trying to get pregnant again. And I just feel like the clock is ticking and every month it doesn't happen I feel more and more unhappy sad

I had the 21 day test last month and it came back as 'normal'. Due to see GP next week but what do I say? I was kind of hoping to try Clomid but I suppose there's no chance of that. I got pregnant quickly twice before so now I think my one sad tube could be blocked or.... Well I'm sure you know yourselves all the worries going round and round in my head!

Sorry for sounding like a misery guts. I'm generally a positive person but this is really getting me down. On the bright side it's so heartening to see other 40 something's going for it smile

10000Fireflies Thu 05-Jul-12 08:03:57

south one tube doesn't = 50% of chance of conception. There are receptors on 'good' fallopian tube which comm with egg and can waft it from the wrong side to open tube. Wish i cld find article, but with only one tube your chces are bout 70%. I was/am a one tuber. Keeping my fingers xd for you.

I laughed when HV tld me to use a condom for next 4 weeks. Seriously tho, how long shld we wait before trying again? Horrendous birth exp has not put me off! grin <greedy>.

knickyknocks Thu 05-Jul-12 09:41:01

A big hello to the newbies south, blonde and monster.

South I'm TTC#2 and am 40. My day 3 and 21 tests came back fine and so did my hubbies sperm test. I got a BFP on Monday - and I am according tomy calendar, 3 weeks 4 days. I had my 3rd chem pg last month so am driving myself a bit nuts on symptom checking and knicker checking. Crossing fingers this will be my time this time. I agree with FF that I don't think having one tube considerably lessens your chances - I've never had this investigated but believe I only ov from one side, as I only ever get pain on the left side every month round ov time.

FF, my DH had an older sister and there was 11 months between them (though my MIL didn't plan it to happen that quick). I understand that you're super fertile following pregnancy hence the condom advice and although I've read that you should give your body time to 'recuperate', I haven't heard of any negative stories of people who have very quick pregnancies following labour.

monster congrats on the BFP. Hope everything goes smoothly in the next few months ahead for you and beany.

hopegum sounds as if you DTD at the perfect time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

No news here. Knickers checked this morning and nothing to see (TMI??) I'm now 13DPO and am crossing fingers this bean will stick. Off to the docs tomorrow, if nothing else to keep it on record that I'm pregnant again this month. Still got sore boobs today and feeling a bit floaty, but the waves of nausea have subsided. Really hoping that's nothing to worry about.

Ah, thanks for the reassurance guys. I should never post first thing in the morning - im really not a morning person and sound very self absorbed!

Lovely to hear about BFPs and successes. I know 8 cycles isn't that long but when the clock is ticking it feels like a loooong time. I've just found that DHEA has shortened my last two cycles considerably so am stopping that at once and am only going to take agnus castus this month to see what happens.

twirlyagogo Thu 05-Jul-12 13:50:44

Hi everyone!

After all my jolly talk about getting the girls in place, I'm afraid that it's all over for me. Got some test results yesterday which have put things in perspective and tell me I'd be mad to go on, so am now going to settle with my lovely lot and be jolly pleased with the miracles I have.

I won't be clogging up the thread as I really will not be trying again, so am firmly out of that category, but I do wish you all the very very best of luck and hope that many babies appear, and that those other can achieve contented closure.

I do have some Zita West books, as well as many cheap ovulation and pregnancy tests if anyone wants them (just PM me).

Good luck everyone and many, many thanks for all your support x thanks

knickyknocks Thu 05-Jul-12 14:09:12

Twirly I'll miss you on the thread. You're such a lovely positive influence and I'm going to miss your posts. I'm so sorry to hear about your test results but it sounds as if you're already in mind to put a line underneath it all and move on. Much love and happiness to you and your family xxxx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 05-Jul-12 19:16:51

Twirly I'll miss u haven't known you long but you've def livened things up and captured the essence of ttc at our age. Gonna call my ovaries the girls in your honour maybe this could become a new mumsnet official expression. Will also remember you when I peel off my stained pjs as early as mid afternoon in anticipation of ''the act'. Personally I hope you drop on again and I wish you very well indeed - maybe meet u on another thread. Are you ok with it? Keep us updated.

I just got af and realise I got dates mixed up it is bang on time. Also did my opk at wrong time so no wonder no positive there. I feel

somewherebecomingrain Thu 05-Jul-12 19:18:44

Damn iPhone. I feel ok actually. I'm not very far along the overall journey and going to try not to overpost but I love this thread xxx

Pocket1 Fri 06-Jul-12 07:15:40

Twirly I haven't been on this thread for long so I'm sorry I didn't have the chance to 'get to know you' but wish you the very best of luck. xxx

somewherebecomingrain Fri 06-Jul-12 09:03:00

just had a dream that Tyra Banks, who clearly represents my egg, was ill and might die. There was some man around who clearly represented the homunculi who also wasn't feeling 100%. We were in a garden. I felt really sad and I wrote the words 'come back' in the soil with whatever was lying around. The 'o' in come back I made with a rhododendron flower. You know how a flower is like a funnel and I pushed the pointy bit at the back right into the soil with my finger - that was really important. it looked beautiful.

hope everyone good xxx

knickyknocks Fri 06-Jul-12 12:48:22

somewhere blimey what a dream. I hope it's a good omen for the month ahead for you.

I'm doing OK, did another pregnancy test yesterday and it showed pregnancy 2-3 weeks, so it looks as if things are progressing, but still such early days. I keep poking my boobs every 5 mins checking whether they're still sore (note to self - must try and not to do this in public - I look like one of those old women that Les Dawson used to mimic). Went to the GP today to get it all on record, so if things do go wrong, then at least I will definitely be referred to the miscarriage clinic. BUT......for today I am pregnant....and I'm feeling anxiously excited.

How's everyone else doing?

Pocket1 Fri 06-Jul-12 18:20:37

Somewhere that is a very interesting dream. Hope it bodes well grin

Knicky congrats. I guess your official now. You must be pleased. I LOVED your Les Dawson comment - really made me smile.

Im off to my consultant tmw. Am really feeling that we would like to try again but it depends on whether consultant feels there is hope. And the donor egg waiting list. Fx we get good news on both smile

Happy weekend everyone. smile

hopefulgum Sat 07-Jul-12 00:33:13

Twirly, I'm sorry to hear about your test results, but you sound okay?I wish you all the best.

Pocket. let us know how things go with the consultant.

So somewhere, what do you think your dream means?

I had one where I kept meeting young women (in the supermarket)'m lucky, I might just have one more wee baby. At least it seems I've ovulated, I'm 3 dpo according to fertility friend. My temps aren't soaring, and I don't have any boob action, so I'm thinking this month won't be it, but you never know...

Deige, is the bistro open? What are the specials?

hopefulgum Sat 07-Jul-12 00:36:51

Okay, so for some reason that post got all mixed up. It should say:

I had one where I kept meeting young women (in the supermarket) and they were pregnant, but I noticed I was not and I felt jealous and angry. They say in dreams everyone represents yourself, but I think it is fairly obvious what's going on in my dream - I'm feeling I'm too old to get pregnant. But I figure as long as I keep trying, if I'm lucky, I might just have one more wee baby. At least it seems I've ovulated, I'm 3 dpo according to fertility friend. My temps aren't soaring, and I don't have any boob action, so I'm thinking this month won't be it, but you never know...

Diege Sat 07-Jul-12 07:37:26

Hi! Apologies, bistro closed due to ill health (stinking cold). I can offer a trolley of cold snacks and sandwiches though. Any takers?
Gum I wouldn't worry about non soaring temps just yet at 3 dpo. Your dream (as with others) is very interesting! Fingers crossed tightly for you this month xxx
twirly sorry to see you go too sad but you do seem very secure about your decision. Pop in and see us sometime; I can always rustle up a bistro special for you xxx
Special sometimes getting af can make the timing (or wrong timing) of dtd on what we thought were the right days make sense. Esp when it comes early. Fingers crossed for next month xxx
knicky glad things are progressing and you have every right to feel excited grin
Feel rotton here - stinking cold, up v.early with baby, and have a pile of exam papers to mark which were due in the post Thursday gone. Am harbouring cruel thoughts about dh who is currently fast asleep, but haven't the energy to open up this one again (long running argument). At least the rain has stopped! We have something called walking day here today, involving all the churches/guilds etc, so will have to feel better as we are in the parade hmm
Love to all xxx

somewherebecomingrain Sat 07-Jul-12 08:41:21

hey everyone glad to see you i was wondering where you'd all gone. Sorry you're ill Diege - i get the long-running-argument thing. Can't believe your marking exam papers with a baby - that is heroic. i couldn't. i do work now but i couldn't.

Have you got an almond croissant?

in the dream Tyra Banks is one of 'the girls' (respect to twirly) ie an ovum and the lurking man is the sperm. They're not together in the dream - close but not together! The flower is the thingy - you know, the thingy after egg and sperm meet - and the soil is the uterine wall. For sure. i'm pushing it into the soil cause i'm trying to get it to implant.

gum I am not sure if you are 3dp in real life or the dream! it would be a very on the ball dream if you had a whole cycle mapped out within it! The younger women are potential yous - good luck good luck!

pocket good luck with your consultant. I have to get going on the tests too I realise.

knicky hope your knickers are spotless - rooting for you xxx and yes love the les dawson comment made me smile.

somewherebecomingrain Sat 07-Jul-12 08:41:39

diege couldn't if i had a baby

Diege Sat 07-Jul-12 09:08:42

Hi somewhere wow, your dream is highly symbolic isn't it? Aren't you clever grin
I'll admit exam paper marking with children is a nightmare. I do have a regular job, 4 days a week (uni lecturer) which tbh is a lot easier that being at home blush, but this at home marking (bit of extra £) is a bleeding nightmare and I say every year I won't do it again. But I do...
Dh up now and skulking about the kitchen. I was also pissed off as was met at 6am with a table of plates, spices etc that hadn't been out away, just left. Even more piss off-able being that the table was spottless as I'd tidied before going up to bed angry. Just feeling to rubbish to start off a 'discussion' again.
Are you up to anything nice today somewhere? ps: almod croissant just warming in the oven x

somewherebecomingrain Sat 07-Jul-12 20:29:41

thanks diege yes it was a clever dream grin. DP mess - it's interminable. I hope he does something nice for you very soon indeed. Chez moi we're both freelancers and not either working very hard or earning much money which makes for time-rich cash-poor type stress. Are you more having the cash-rich time-poor stress?

I'm now in Devon on a week's holiday with bickering DP and MIL and we're in the middle of severe weather warnings. TBH love them both but we're stuck inside and it's miserable weather, DS totally bored. It's going to be cool and rainy all week. Woo hoo.

On the way down some depressing anecdotes came up about other people's fertility and I felt really gutted then looked on here and saw your comment and that the almond croissant was there and felt so much better. this is just a good place to come.

I hope I can help others feel better too.


hopefulgum Sun 08-Jul-12 00:16:58

Oh Deige, I'm sorry to hear you are ill, and juggling exam marking and baby - flippin heck- how awful. I can only mark exams if I take myself off to a cafe somewhere and they keep topping up the cuppa. I recently did an online course (only because it will mean I earn a tad more), and found that near impossible with a 3 year old around. I honestly do not know how women go on maternity leave and "study", how on earth do they find time?

Anyway, I do hope you feel better very soon, and I feel your pain where Dh is concerned. Sounds very like my DH. He sleeps in every day because he is a "nightowl" and I am a "morning person". Doesn't mean I wouldn't like a bit of a lie in from time to time, or perhaps a nice cup of tea brought to me in bed....I've basically given up that argument with him.

Somewhere, your holiday with DP and MIL bickering sounds pretty awful too! I hope the weather improves.

We've been having some very cold weather (cold for us) here. It's nice to be on holidays and just sit by the fire. I should have gone out for a walk yesterday but it was too wet(I'm a sook), so will endeavor to get out today. I think I need to get more exercise. I feel it is lacking. Last week I made myself go to the pool for some laps. Did that twice and it felt good, so will try hard to keep that up.

knicky, glad things are going well.

My temp was up a bit more today, which I'd expect with any cycle. I'm feeling pretty relaxed about it. It would be nice to get a BFP this time, but there's always next time. I'm feeling pleased that I am ovulating at all.

sparklysapphire Sun 08-Jul-12 01:26:57

twirly, I'm really sorry to see you go, but you sound ok about stopping TTC, I hope you are. Please pop in & see us sometimes.
diege, I hope you're feeling a bit better, have managed to shift some marking, and your DH is showering you with TLC. somewhere, I've seen Devon on the news this evening, I hope you're in a less wet part & the holiday perks up. Intruiging (sp?) dream & interpretation. Pocket, I hope your consultant was able to give you good news.

And you're officially pregnant knicky! I've now had sore boobs for about 10 days, much longer than usual, and I too keep prodding them to see if they're still sore - I do not want to be a Les Dawson lady grin, and must remember the lifts at the new workplace are glass, so no surreptious prodding in an empty lift. AF definitely won't arrive on Sunday, but may not be due til Wednesday anyway - I don't know if I can wait that long. I've always thought POAS when AF is very late is the way to go, but now I'm not sure. And having thought that there was no way it'd be my month this month, the soreness is unusual and at least makes me think there's a fair bit of progesterone in my system, and of course is getting my hopes up.

Welcome munchin, southsea, blondie & monster, I hope none of you have to spend to much time here.

Hi to italian, hopeful, angel, blackcats, irish, lol, fireflies, tina, pocket, miasmum,goth, pooley and apologies to anyone I've missed. xx

Munchin Sun 08-Jul-12 10:32:13

Thanks girls for the lovely welcome.

Congrats to knicky and everyone else on their recent bfp's. It's going to take a while to get to know who everyone is.

Sorry twirly that you are leaving but you sound resolute in your decision and that is something I admire. I hope that if I dont get pg in next few months I too can make that decision to stop and be happy with it. really hope that doesn't happen

somewhere hope it stops raining and your hol improves.

sparkly symptom spotting is a pain. Les Dawson comment made me laugh. Fx for you.

diege fair play to you working at home with dc around. That's hard going. They have a sixth sense and keeping looking for attention when you can't give it.

I don't know where I am in this wtf cycle after mmc. It's 11 wks since erpc. I had bleeding/spotting for 7 wks and don't think I got af. 2 wks ago I had Ov pains and got +opk tests. So you'd be thinking either af or bfp would be showing up. But have got 2 bfns and still no af. Just worried agin now that I might be going ino early menopause. I came off pill last August and got af straight away 4 weeks later. Then no af showed for 4 mths. I got af in jan and to pg sometime after that. But never really knew exact date.

Hope everyone has a nice Sunday although it's pretty dull here.

Pocket1 Sun 08-Jul-12 15:17:56

Welcome Munchin I’m still getting to know everyone too.

Diege you sound like superwomen – you need someone bringing you almond croissant type snacks. My DP falls asleep and snoozes at inopportune times too, invariably when there are things to do and it drives me crazy!

Somewhere hope you manage to rest and relax in Devon – and that the weather doesn’t spoil your trip. Btw, what tests are you meant to be having? <interested not nosey>

AFM I saw consultant yesterday and whilst i've been given every hope that i could conceive, have a healthy pregnancy and have a baby, we are literally back to square one. We'd need to join the waiting list for an egg donor (again!) and that may take 3-6 months. DP and I have talked it through and we would both like to try again - and can even, just about, face into the tonne of money this will cost (again!). But the biggest worry is the wait - if i have to wait 6 months for a match, then a month or two to sync/start treatment, i will be 46 by then and that's really freaking me out.... but you never know a donor could be found quicker. In parallel to the clinic searching for me, I'm going to see if i can find my own donor (not really sure how but will post on MN conception and infertility sections and see how that goes - i've seen a few threads previously where lovely donors have come forward so you never know). Alongside that, i'm also looking into going overseas where the waits are shorter, but that feels like a whole lot more hassle with flights, hotels etc. Has anyone been overseas for donor egg ivf? how did you find it all? feel free to PM if you'd prefer... i'd be grateful for any insight you could share.

Hope you're all having a nice Sunday - come on Murray!

knickyknocks Mon 09-Jul-12 08:46:02

pocket, ,<<hugs>> sounds as if you could do with a hug after your appointment yesterday. It's all so terribly frustrating. I can understand your worries about the wait, it feels when you get past 40, that when the months roll by, it feels like a month too long. I haven't got any knowledge when it comes to donor eggs, but I'm sure there's ladies on here who will have knowledge. Why do you have to re-join the waiting list again? (sorry I've no knowledge when it comes to this stuff - it just seems unfair to make you wait again). Please have hope pocket. It's not too late yet.

somewhere Devon in this weather? Hope it brightens up for you and yours this week. It's dreadful weather. Seem to recall last time we went to devon, there was still loads of indoor activities to keep DD amused, but it makes such a difference when the sun shines. Will keep my fingers crossed. Hope you've managed to have a slap up cream tea (indoors activity so no excuse to miss out!)

diege a uni lecturer? I know how hard you work especially with the extra marking at this time of year. I work in a medical school and it's exam season here so know what extra amounts of work lecturers are doing here. It's pretty thankless too this time of year. Hope you get through it quicker than expected and that the 'table discussion' was resolved. If it's any comfort, it's almost exactly the same in my house. DD loves it when my DH looks after her for the day, but I always arrive to a house in the evening which is a tip. EVERY toy is out.

hopeful - your hubby sounds like mine! He's a night owl and because of this he gets a lie in when one's available - as you say, it's not to say I wouldn't like a lie in too as I'm a 'morning person'......a recurring discussion in my house too.

sparkly sore boobs? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Definitely no prodding of boobs in new workplace glass lift grin. Really hoping this is your month.

As for me, am doing OK. The nerves are still there and will be for a while. According to my dates I'm now 4 + 1 so hardly anything at all yet. Walking into work today - still poking my boobs every so often - and the inevitable happened - was caught by an old fella today. He gave me a bemused look - and I tried to ride it out by looking as if I had some kind of twitch. Marvellous. Guaranteed I'll now see him at least another 5 times today because that's sods law for me.

sparklysapphire Mon 09-Jul-12 13:13:29

hi all, just popping in to say I caved yesterday & tested, & got a BFN, but I feel better now I know. On the plus side, as it now looks like this is a longer cycle, ov next month has more chance of coincinding with the 36 hours DH will be home!

Diege Mon 09-Jul-12 13:24:20

Having a sneaky MN break at work. knicky I'm afraid your boob poking episode got me sniggering at my desk grin twitch eh...don't know what else you could say really wink. How are you feeling in general? I have to admit that this extra marking is self-induced, as tis separate to my job and totally voluntary. I've done it for 10 years now though so the income has become in reality part of our annual income, so would be a big loss financially to let it go now...have smuggled a few papers into 'proper' work, so will try and get a few done!
pocket re: overseas egg donation I know nothing, but I'm sure there are those on this thread who have researched this option (*Italian*???). I'm sure someone said there was a good clinic in Spain?
munchkin not sure what to suggest really re: your cycles. Have you spoken to anyone medical? (sorry if I've missed your background/history). It must all be very frustrating, esp the BFNs sad
Sparkly any sign of af? Mine is due Weds too, though of course I'm not looking for a bfp grin
somewhere how goes it with the holiday? Not much of a holiday with MIL I'd say, though I'm sure your's is lovely grin. Re: your question, I'm definitiely time poor, and probably cash poor too after childcare deductions (£1500 a month!!) Still, our choice, so not complaining. Whereas on the (lack of) lie-ins I am definitiely not happy. At this rate I am going to have to conjure up a conference trip and book a room in a travel lodge just to get a decent kip!
Gum Glad you're sounding more positive. I think your dh and mine (and others on here) are cut from the same cloth angry. When I point out the unfairness of it all, he replies that I don't need the lie-in...when of course the reason he does is that he stays up late because he assumes he will get a lie-in...and so the cycle continues. I am NOT happy!
Right, better get on with some work! xxx

gothinrecovery Mon 09-Jul-12 13:33:37

Just dropping in to say hi to everyone, hope you are OK. twirly all the best for the future.

Knicky glad things are progressing.

I am now in the 2WW (CD18 - cycles usually 28 or 29 days) though don't feel particularly positive about chances this month. For some reason I did last month but had no boob soreness so clearly no cigar. I am trying not to drive myself mad remembering when I have had that before AF (and therefore possible chem) as opposed to nothing.

Only dropping in and out as trying not to obsess so apologies if I have missed anyone.

Pocket1 Mon 09-Jul-12 18:00:00

Thanks Knicky for the much appreciated hug and the 'it's not too late' which gives me hope. smile I joined the egg donor waiting list this time last year, got a donor, had two rounds and it didn't work. So I have to go to the back of the queue again. Even making sad eyes didn't help me jump the queue!

Sparkly sorry about your bfn.sad

Fx and biscuitbiscuit for all those who are boob prodding on the 2ww.

Munchin Mon 09-Jul-12 22:31:46

knicky hope boobs are getting sore lo at getting caugh poking them.

SorrySparkly about the bfn!! In the same boat here. But if af hasn't shown up yet then you never know. But hey your right on the bright side the dates will suit you better next month.

Pocket sorry you have to join the queue again. I'm sure you just want to get on with it.

Good luck Goth with the 2ww. Hope it flies in and a bfp at the end.

Diege hope af doesn't show. No I haven't had any medical tests. I had 2 normal pregnancies and we debated too long whether to ttc #3, I feel my af never came back normal since coming off pill. I got pg in either jan/feb and never found out exactly how far on I should have been. But baby had stopped growing at 7+6. Both the consultant and doctor told me to ttc ASAP. My mum reckons she started menopause in her late 30's and as I am now 40 I wonder is it the same for me. Although she had just me when she was 33 but I have had 2 dc.

Hello to everyone else will get to know yous eventually.

Diege Mon 09-Jul-12 22:52:30

Ahh munchkin I see your situation now. I'm not sure I would get too anxious just yet, as it's relatively soon after the erpc. However, it might be worth a GP visit perhaps so that at least your history/cycles are tracked in case you want to have hormone levels etc measured further down the line? Oh and I should mention that I DO NOT want to see a bfp grin. I'm a cheer leading graduate of the thread and am totally done (in) with my 5 Los grin
Hi goth, pocket smile
Love to all, D x

just a quick one to say hello to the newer ladies here, and especially to those on the 2ww and who are boob-poking, twitching, or however best you want to describe it wink... it has taken me to get to 16 weeks pg this time for my boobs to ache. So if you aren't hurting, it doesn't necessarily mean you weren't lucky this time around!! You never know...

hopefulgum Tue 10-Jul-12 00:22:49

Hi everyone, and welcome to any newbies to the thread.

Pocket, there was a lady on this thread a while ago, called rowingboat who had overseas treatment. I don't know if she had donor eggs, but she certainly had treatment in a couple of different overseas clinics. Have you tried the thread about fertility treatment ( can't for the life of me remember what it is called) - Italian would be a help

Munchin - I can see why you would worry, but don't discount the mmc/erpc as a reason for AF being different. After my second miscarriage (and erpc) it took months for my AF to return to normal. I was very scared that I might be going straight into menopause, but everything did come back to normal. My GP frightened me by saying, "Some women go straight into menopause after their last baby", which wasn't at all helpful, but she did order blood tests to see what was going on. And even then, I had a very low estrogen reading and she told me I wasn't ovulating. However, I knew, through charting that I was ovulating, and my progesterone test (7 days post ovulation) showed I was ovulating. And I've since gotten pregnant (but sadly it was an early m/c).

I continued, during that time,to have acupuncture, which was a bit of a saviour as my TCM lady reassured me that my "yin" (to do with fertility)pulse was still good, and that I could still get pregnant. Thank goodness for her or I would have felt much worse and worried a lot more.

I still have quite regular cycles, despite those months of barely a period.

Hello, Miasmummy, how are you? I hope all is well.

My temp went up nicely this morning after a low one yesterday. The chart looks remarkably like the chart I had with Charlie's pregnancy, but anything could happen (I'm only 6dpo). But I'm feeling slightly hopeful, as I've had a few little symptoms. Not going to be too hopeful, as I don't want to get crazy - want to remain relaxed about it all.

I've been managing some exercise everyday (it's so nice being on holiday and having time), which feels good. I've got acupuncture today and will have a swim beforehand.

Deige, I've booked myself a hotel in the city on the weekend - I'm going away by myself! Yay! I'll catch up with some old friends, do some shopping and just enjoy my own company for a couple of days.Can't wait!grin

hopefulgum Tue 10-Jul-12 00:25:21

Oh pocket, I've just had a look and you're already on the Assisted Conception threadhmm.Sorry, that wasn't much help was it?

gothinrecovery Tue 10-Jul-12 13:14:05


I have a question - apologies for TMI.

I have a regular cycle of 28-29 days. However I get EWCM early in the cycle usually on about CD10. I think I usually ov on day 14, certainly that's what the OPK's seemed to suggest when I have used them, but read on here that usually EWCM is 'just before' ov and am wondering if I don't ov when I think I do?

I am obviously mentalling but if anyone has any facts on this would be good to know!

AngelGeorgie Tue 10-Jul-12 19:55:09

Hi Go I always ovulated early ( when testing with opks) I , too have a 28-29 day cycle and ovulate cd 10/11 in fact both times I concieved with Georgie & Phebs it was cd 10 so " earlier" than is text book normal!!! (assume I ve always been the same but with the 2 MCs pre Georgie I wasn t using opks only used them the last
2 years)
That's why I like the SMEP as you re advised to swi from cd 8 every 2 days until you get a + opk then the next 3 days then alternate days for so many days ( memory fails to serve me fully !!! ) hope that helps?
Hi all ; hope u re all well? Not much going on here apart from work & disrupted nights!!! Not a good combination!!!!
Phebs is truely adorable though grin
Hope the new additions to the snug family are thriving?
Love to all xxxx

gothin You probably know all this blush but just in case it helps... I found using a basal body thermometer very useful alongside an OPK. I discovered that I was much earlier ovulating than I had expected (CD8!!), as it helped to confirm that ovulation had actually taken place, when my temp dropped. And once I knew when I was due to ovulate, I saved my OPK test sticks and tested every six hours, as I didn't want to miss that all-important 24-hour magic window of fertility. Also - agree with georgie about the Sperm Meets Egg Plan, it made a lot of sense to me. I liked tracking on the Fertility Friend site too, but maybe that is just me being somewhat geeky...

hopeful all going well here, but a bit stressed about my upcoming Olympic volunteering. So far, I have been assigned and reassigned to four different teams!! I have now said that I want to be in a larger volunteer team, as many are only a solo support role, and I really don't want that responsibility or stress being nearly 5 months' pregnant, especially when I have a long commute and have committed to 6 days' week for 5 weeks, doing days of 8-10 hour shifts, all for free...!

Miaalexandersmummy PLEASE do not overdo it with the volunteering and if, at any point, your health looks like it is suffering, please be honest with those you are volunteering for and say you cannot do it. I am sure it will be a great experience so if you can cope, then enjoy it but please do not put your body under any additional pressure.

gothinrecovery Wed 11-Jul-12 09:00:26

Thanks all - I am now seriously wondering if I am actually ov on about CD 12. In which case I have probably missed the boat this month - knackered in the couple of days before that due to too much work. oh well - cross fingers!

Pocket1 Wed 11-Jul-12 18:56:13


Hope everyone is well. Sorry I can't help in the ovulation question - we never got there and instead went straight for donor eggs.

Speaking of which I posted my egg donor help me message on mn, ff and sofeminine. And I have been overwhelmed by the kindness of complete strangers. I am talking to a few ladies and fx my gorgeous lovely donor is there...

Fx I am back in the game quickly!


hopefulgum Thu 12-Jul-12 00:53:38

Pocket, that is great news! I hope it all comes together quickly.

Not much to report here. I have felt a little bit sick, boobs achey and had hearburn, which could mean something,or nothing at all! A few more days til I test.

So Mystic Deige, any feelings about whether I might get lucky this cycle???

We went for a walk up a mountain yesterday. Boy, it was hard work, particularly with a reluctant,"my legs hurt", three year old. He did incredibly well, and the 3 km felt like 10, but I'm glad we did it. It is nice to have time to do things like that. Today I'm tsking my 19 year old son shopping (by his request) to help him with grocery shopping for healthy meals( He lives with friends in town). I couldn't believe it - perhaps all my nagging is paying off!

Is anyone else getting close to the end of the 2ww?

Diege Thu 12-Jul-12 09:47:22

Morning smile Hi Gum, your hike sounds great - you do sound very fit and active at the moment, what with swimming too. Your weekend away sounds brilliant, I am very envy, what a lovely thing to look forward to smile. I do have a similar one myself start of August, away with a friend overnight stay in York, which I am really looking forward to! ps, will check my psychic vibes tonight - how many dpo are you now?
pocket that sound great news! You must feel very excited, and good reason too x
miasAlexandrasmummy yes, take it easy! It does sound very important and interesting what you are doing though, so lots of water and sit down rests Mrs! Do you get to see any of the event? envy
Hi italian, goth, and everyone else I've not said hello to.
Love to all, D x

somewherebecomingrain Thu 12-Jul-12 15:26:37

Miasmummy rest up siege get well your a bit of a saint. Knicks hopeyou good. On my iPhone can't name check v well. Pocket that sound great v exciting. Goth thats where im at too judging ovulation. Right now I'm sitting in our car in a carpark on the rain on my 'holiday' ds asleep in back seat dp checking the cricket on his iPhone me on mumsnet on mine. I also had to get a young waitress to explain how to use the credit card machine. Today's the day I've officially become my parents - both of them, the collective glory of their uk holiday making lives on xxx

Munchin Thu 12-Jul-12 17:35:09

Thanks Diege and hopeful. Yous are right I really need to just relax as prob mmc has messed everything up. Whatever is to be will be. Worrying and stressing will not help situation or bring AF on. If I am in menopause well no one else to blame but myself leaving it too late!!!

Pocket glad you got done good responses. Hopefully something will work out soon.

Go it's very possible you are ov'ing earlier. If you followed smep plan you should be covered anyway.

Mia, wow you will be busy. Take it easy on yourself.

Nearly Friday tg!!!

JBrd Thu 12-Jul-12 22:51:38

Hi all, mind if I join? I was forty in January, and we have just started ttc again after having DS last year.
After having a very easy and straightforward pregnancy last time, the next one is going to be different - I had a pulmonary embolism at the beginning of the year, and although I was very lucky and have recovered completely, I know that this will have implications for any future pregnancies... I'm really happy that we're trying again, but at the same time apprehensive. Keep telling myself to focus on the immediate issue of getting pg first, then worry about what's next, but that's easier said than done!

knickyknocks Fri 13-Jul-12 07:16:49

Firstly, apologies this will post twice as I'm on a blackberry (reported to MNHQ as a glitch).

Welcome to the thread JBrd. Gosh a pulmonary embolism, that must have been scary. I'm guessing that when the time comes (which I'm sure it will) you'll be well taken care of in your second pregnancy. I hope your stay on this thread is short and that good news is just round the corner.
MAM wonderful to hear things are progressing as they should be. I agree with Italian though, please take it as easy as possible. That Olympic shift rota sounds incredibly tiring. Put your feet up when you can. You deserve lots of TLC.
somewhere ah the joys of a British holiday! I'm feeling sorry for anyone who's holidaying in Britain this year. There'll be a lot of sitting in cars, windscreen wipers on, looking out at near deserted beaches. Surely the weather HAS to get better soon?!
Crossing my fingers for all the ladies on the 2WW. I'm really hoping this will be your month.

AFM, still sore boobs and not prodding them as often after the old man incident earlier this week grin. According to my dates I'm 4 weeks 5 days. Except from some twinging, I have no other symptoms which is making me anxious. I just hope things are progressing as they should. Hey ho, it's a wait and see. Much love to all xxx

knickyknocks Fri 13-Jul-12 07:16:49

Firstly, apologies this will post twice as I'm on a blackberry (reported to MNHQ as a glitch).

Welcome to the thread JBrd. Gosh a pulmonary embolism, that must have been scary. I'm guessing that when the time comes (which I'm sure it will) you'll be well taken care of in your second pregnancy. I hope your stay on this thread is short and that good news is just round the corner.
MAM wonderful to hear things are progressing as they should be. I agree with Italian though, please take it as easy as possible. That Olympic shift rota sounds incredibly tiring. Put your feet up when you can. You deserve lots of TLC.
somewhere ah the joys of a British holiday! I'm feeling sorry for anyone who's holidaying in Britain this year. There'll be a lot of sitting in cars, windscreen wipers on, looking out at near deserted beaches. Surely the weather HAS to get better soon?!
Crossing my fingers for all the ladies on the 2WW. I'm really hoping this will be your month.

AFM, still sore boobs and not prodding them as often after the old man incident earlier this week grin. According to my dates I'm 4 weeks 5 days. Except from some twinging, I have no other symptoms which is making me anxious. I just hope things are progressing as they should. Hey ho, it's a wait and see. Much love to all xxx

gothinrecovery Fri 13-Jul-12 08:58:26

Pocket that is great news, fingers crossed. Knicky - glad things are going okay.

CD21 for me today, not hopeful though as timing was off this month if ov'd early (though was more or less bang on if didn't). Boobs seem to be slightly tender if I poke them (!) but am probably imagining it.

gothinrecovery Fri 13-Jul-12 09:00:09

hi to everyone as well - hit post too quick!

Pocket1 Fri 13-Jul-12 21:31:24

Thanks for all your lovely messages of support. Its early days but I feel very positive about it all now – wow how the world has changed in a week!

Hopeful very impressive, that sounds physically strenuous! When is otd?

Somewhere i turned into my parents a long time ago. But it still shockes me sometimes!

Welcome JBrd I’m fairly new to this thread but it’s a friendly place with plenty of support.

Knicky I’m with you, the weather must improve soon. Surely! Still smiling at your old man, boob prodding story biscuitbiscuit

Go sorry, but what does CD21 mean? biscuitbiscuit

Hello to everyone – hope you have nice weekends planned.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 15-Jul-12 02:39:59

hello southsearocks - hope your stay is short in the best way - and monsterchild you are a great good news story i hope you are feeling alright - being pregnant is quite tough at times.
hello jbrd how is the pulmonary embolism going to affect things if you get pg again? i like your cup half full attitude to TTC2 in your 40s - I need to see it like that
hopeful you must be on the 2ww - how's it going? lovely about your 19yo - and also your 3-yo brave little sausage. my dp and I are wanting to do lots of walks (to shed some poundage) but not sure my 3yo is into it. if you made yours walk up a mountain then maybe its ok to make mine walk 9 miles across london (with a few pram rests when needed)?
diege how's the marking going? hope your health is better. Any progress on the 'table discussion' or is that old news now. My DP does tidy stuff up but only after SOME YEARS of me being the breadwinner IFYWIM. Got the night-owl thing too. It is desperate stuff - how do they get away with it? How do we make sure our sons are a bit more enlightened? PS so nice that you are returning graduate, an independent advisor with nothing at stake personally - thats a nice thing to have on here
sparkly good luck with your next cycle - do let us know if the SWI is on and happening! grin
goth good luck this month - have you had any tests?
pocket the tests are simply the gamut of fertility tests. I don't know what they are - my sis had them but i find it all confusing. Ovarian reserve? that's the only one i can think of. but anything else the docs suggest. What tests are you having? I have no money but being 40 will have to go private i guess. well that's what credit cards are for eh.
knicky so glad to get your update, must be hard keeping your hands of your boobs grin but well done. Our holiday was ok brew enlivened by the MIL's old friends - the most eccentric arty couple you ever met - they stayed with us and were so sweet. Holidays are different with young kids though aren't they - you can't just go off and read. Was astonished by the hedgerows in Devon - heard the background noise about hedgerows but never really noticed them before - they were just dripping with flowers - foxgloves, really scented honeysuckle, random roses, the usual queen annes lace etc etc. just beautiful.

As for me i'm in the downhill slope towards ovulation. about to start on some epic SWI - this egg meets sperm business. also gonna splash out on opk sticks and test every day until ovulation which would normally be on CD17. Yep, CD17 is looking mighty ee-ro-tick for me confused.

anyone have any recommendations on a good basal thermometer for temping?

on my to do list - go to gp/explore private fertility tests.

I am planning a holiday for october and it was october last year that we started trying. momentary sadness when i realised that. But life is good.

knickyknocks Sun 15-Jul-12 07:27:59

pocket CD21 means it's the 21st day of cycle. Lovely to hear you're feeling more positive and brilliant about the positive responses re eggs. I'm crossing fingers that your new donor is just round the corner.
somewhere you're right holidays with kids is completely different. No sneaking 5 mins to read a book. We stayed at a place called Willowfield Lake cottages in Devon a couple of years ago and it was perfect for us all. Loads to do for DD and lovely surroundings for us - you're right the sound of the hedgerows in the morning and evening is something else. Very relaxing. BTW definitely worth popping to the GP's just to have initial blood tests which will confirm you're ovulating, plus hubby can have his sperm tested. Nothing untoward came back from our tests, and it put my mind at ease somewhat to know at the very least I was ovulating and hubby's sperm was going in the right direction!

Nothing new to report though still knicker checking, I suspect that even if things go as smoothly as possible, it's not going to be the most relaxing of pregnancies. A mixture of my track record when it comes to holding onto beans and my age (sorry ladies ....) But, for today I am pregnant and holding tight. Much love XX

Hello all. Pleased to report that my Olympic role has been finally sorted out, which has been a huge relief. I also realised that the 1.5 hour commute was stressing me, so will be staying a lot with friends nearby, and DH will drive down to join me some evenings. Silly to become so worked up, but feel much happier now.

19 weeks now. Mia would be 22 months old today.

knickyknocks Sun 15-Jul-12 11:44:58

MAM there are a few things in life which make me want to scream 'It's so unfair' at the top of my lungs. Your recent past is one of them. I thank god for your smooth pregnancy, but simply can't imagine how hard it must be with your differing emotions. You're growing a wonderful person inside you who will have many amazing attributes of you and your DH, just like your darling Mia had. I just so wish Mia were here to meet them when they arrive. <<hugs>>. We're here holding your hand.

hopefulgum Mon 16-Jul-12 00:07:21

Miasmummy, sending love your way. I'm just so sorry for your loss, I know that having another baby will not replace your darling girl but I hope your baby will bring joy to your family.

Knicky - for today you are pregnant. Hang in there honey, I know how difficult it is in those early weeks when you've had previous miscarriages. Try to remember that there's every reason why this baby will make it this time. And if you are feeling very anxious, try to get some help with it. I had planned to have hypnotism to help me through. Perhaps I'll get a chance to try it in the near future.

But not this month. I'm 12 DPO and have had a BFN. Some would say it's early to test, but the latest I've had a bfp has been 10 DPO. I usually get a hint of a line at 9 DPO, so I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant. A bit disappointed because I really felt I could have been pregnant this time - so many symptoms-and thought maybe my fertility was enhanced after the early miscarriage. Oh well, perhaps next time?

I had a really lovely couple of days away. I caught up with friends, shopped(spent way too much!), went out for dinner, saw a movie and went out for breakfast with friends I haven't seen in ages. It was lovely. My LO missed me terribly and was so delighted to see me, it was almost worth going away for that! Home now, and have got another week of term break.Lovely.

Hello to everyone on the

TinaO99 Mon 16-Jul-12 11:47:24

just flitting in and out - hello to all the newbies on the thread and a big welcome, as always hope you're not on here for too long and graduate soon!

Gum sorry about the bfn, have a relaxing break and hope you get that bfp soon :-)

Italian how are you doing? Hope the adoption process is going well

Mia your olympics role sounds very exciting, good luck!

Not much happening for me at the mo - had my CMV virus blood test which showed I was negative, which is a bit of a pain as now my dh has to have one too which means extra messing around, if he's negative too we can automatically go for a donor who's also negative or we can sign some form to say we don't mind a positive or negative donor. After that we're all systems go, still crossing our fingers we get to do this by october-ish - as the waiting list is now 2 months it all sounds good :-)

I finished off my hynotherapy too which seemed to really help although i'm still not sure if I was properly under or not! Might go back for some acupuncture when the time comes for the embryo transfer (all being well and they fertilise!)

have a great week everyone

gothinrecovery Tue 17-Jul-12 09:01:58

Hi all, been away for a few days, a nice weekend break.

Knicky glad things seem to be progressing normally. Gum sorry to hear about the BFN.

I am now on CD26 and feel as though AF is coming on which is a bit early (due Friday), so looks as though no joy this month. Had thought I had some boob soreness a few days ago and had some stomach flutters (? only way I can think of describing it) when would have been about 7DPO so got my hopes up temporarily but must have been imagining it sad

10000Fireflies Tue 17-Jul-12 11:14:05

Hello all

Struggling to keep up with you at the moment. DS now 25 days old. Awww. Spent whole day yest feeding. Of course, today Daddy's working from home so he can see how difficult it is and LO is fast asleep in his Moses basket....

Anyone know how long you have to wait after a CS before sensibly having another? We have a frostie waiting for us too. WWYD? Keep it in reserve and have it as a back-up, in the hope that we can manage another spontaneous conception, or go for it sooner rather than later?

Welcome jBrd, Southsea and all other newbies.

MAM so good to hear how you’re getting along. Nearly half way! Hope you’re feeling ok?

Knicky Hope the good signs are continuing.

Goth CD21 = cycle day 21.

Lol how are you and LO doing?

Hi to everyone else. Dashing off this post before LO wakes up again, though he continues to be positively angelic, ie fast asleep while DH is here….
FF xx

gothinrecovery Tue 17-Jul-12 13:01:15

Well CD26 has turned into CD1 as the witch is here. I am not surprised given how I felt yesterday but am baffled as I never have short cycles (I have a set your watch by it 28 days)

Can only conclude it must still be down to post MC weirdness and ov'd early or something. I suppose there is always next month but feel very flat.

Paula2012 Tue 17-Jul-12 13:12:39

Hi I was on another thread for a while but wanted to join this one. I am 44 have one child (nearly 6) and have 3 msc in the last 4 years last one in nov 2011 I had tests and they couldn't find anything wrong with me. I am getting a bit despondent with it all to be honest anyone got any positive news for someone my age?

hopefulgum Wed 18-Jul-12 00:51:00

Goth - so sorry about AF turning up early. Don't give up hope, you can get pregnant, it's just a matter of time. I know how hard it is to be patient.

Paula, welcome, and sorry about your miscarriages. I can relate. I had my last baby at 41, almost 42, and since have had three mcs. I'm now heading toward my 46th birthday (gasp!). But still trying. Lolfactor had her wee boy recently at the ripe age of 45, so I'm not throwing in the towel just yet.

As for me, weirdness is happening here. I'm 14 DPO, and never have a luteal phase this long. I'd be excited except the boob tenderness is almost all gone,and my temp is has dropped to only hovering above the coverline and I had a BFN yesterday at 13 DPO. I (delusionally) hope that my temperature will shoot up tomorrow and I'll get a late BFP. But I think perhaps AF will turn up instead. It would be a massive miracle if I get BFP.

Mystic Deige, what are your thoughts???grin

hopefulgum Wed 18-Jul-12 01:00:40

P.S. Forgot to say how nice it s to hear from Fireflies. I'm glad your wee baby is doing well. Sounds like he's a good eater(drinker, feeder?). These early times of constant feeding won't last forever, so snuggle up and enjoy as much as you can.

As for how long to wait before ttc again, it depends on a few things. My sister had C sections, and had two babies (accidentally), 13 months apart. I think the scar held up well. It was her mental health that fell apart, but that's a whole other story and had nothing to do with her gorgeous babies.

Also, some women don't have their fertility return for a while if they are breast-feeding, so that may be a factor. With my babies, I didn't ovulate for ages - with my last baby I was waiting for about 18 months - nearly drove me mad as I wanted to ttc when he was about 10 months old, but couldn't wean him. I tried vitex, but it didn't work, I just had to wait.

As for using your frozen emby, I think I'd give myself a time limit ttc naturally, then go for the assisted. Sometimes having a baby will boost fertility.

Tina, it's great news that you are getting close to finding a donor and starting your treatment. Very exciting.

AngelGeorgie Wed 18-Jul-12 06:02:25

Hi all xxx.
Fine here all busy Phebs full of cold again damn nursery!!! It's a death trap!!! All suffering much disrupted sleep , no fun when up at 06:00 for work!!!
FF I have heard after a section to wait between 6-12 months however, when we took Phebs to see our consultant last month she thought I was going to see her as I was pg!!! ( that's 8 months after my section!!!)
Hasten to say I m not!!!!
Love to all xxxc

JBrd Wed 18-Jul-12 08:37:44

Hi all,
hope you are all holding up well! I'm struggling at the moment, not happy with my new job...which I only started 6 weeks ago, so it's early days still. I think I need to give it longer, but I've never been so dissatisfied with a new job this quickly, which makes me wonder if I made a mistake. It looked so good on paper, but reality is so different. Ah well...

On the positive side, AF has finally returned, I was getting a bit anxious! Came off the mini pill over 3 weeks ago, and nada. I think this is the first time in my life that I'm glad about it! Now the counting and charting can start properly grin

10000Fireflies - I had a section with DS and was told to wait for at least a year before having another baby. But I guess it depends on the individual and their situation, I've heard of people having a lot less time in between and everything was fine.

knickyknocks Wed 18-Jul-12 09:49:00

Hi all

hopeful thank you lovely lady for your kind words. I promise to keep holding on, things seem to be OK at the mo. I am tempted to go out and buy more sticks to check but think I just need to step away from them! I had a lovely relaxing weekend with DD and think that helped as just didn't have time to think things through too much.
JBrd, it's so tough to starting a new job. I really do hope that things start improving soon. I didn't particularly like my job when I started it 10 years ago, but somehow managed to work it into a job that I did like (that said have recently taken a side move which has brought me back to not liking it again!) Hope things improve. On the brighter side, for once it's lovely news that AF has arrived. Now the charting can begin!
Paula welcome to the thread! As hopeful said, lolfactor gives lots of ladies of hope on here. It clearly can happen at our age and be a smooth pregnancy.
Fireflies so lovely to hear from you. DS 25 days old already? Time already seems to be racing by.
angel, my DD was inundated with illness when she first started nursery. Had to take loads of time off work. It all settled down within about 3 months, and I'm hoping people are right when they say it bolsters their immune system now making them much more hardy when it comes to starting school.

5 weeks and 3 days for me. Not feeling particularly pregnant, though understand it's early. Just hanging on and hoping things are OK.

Much love to all xxxxxx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 18-Jul-12 10:24:30

good to hear from you knicky
Paula hi good luck hon
jbrd i have put a lot of thought into finding good work - it's a bit like trying to find a life partner - not every job is right for you and it's about the people and the culture. if they're not your kind of people then regardless of the actual tasks involved it could be really hard for you and you would blame yourself but it's totally not your fault. It'll probably get better - most cultures can accomodate diversity - but if it remains really awful it's probably a dysfunctional culture in which case get out of there and don't blame yourelf for a minute.

I have DTD once on monday - a sort of warm up as OV isn't till friday i think but then today have cramping and wierd stuff going on. BODY could you just stop giving me all these signs until you actually have something to say?
POAS this morning, the OPK variety, but put it in the wrong way so didn't get a result at all.

have to DTD today and DP is hungover and i didn't sleep well and oh boy. we're going to do a quick perfunctory one if at all - i shall probably be proofing some pages while we do it.

Got to get to that GP - just so busy. In the run up to OV I always feel very relaxed about the whole thing, almost like I don't want another DC. Then once AF comes I have such longing for another DC.

gothinrecovery Wed 18-Jul-12 13:25:31

Gum - thanks for the kind words. I know I have to try and be patient. Feel awful physically which isn't helpful - worst AF in a long time and in a fair bit of discomfort. Gah!

Fingers crossed you get some good news. Knicky - glad you had a nice weekend, good that things are okay.

Paula2012 Wed 18-Jul-12 19:30:42

Thanks for all your kind comments makes me feel a bit better. I don't want to go down the IVF/donor egg route as well as the cost I feel that if it is meant to be it will happen. So glad I am not the only one going through this its nice to hear from other women in the same boat. Not many people understand the heartbreak of msc and wanting another child unless they have been there themselves. Feel a lot more positive now.

Irishmammybread Thu 19-Jul-12 00:00:17

Hi everyone!

paula, like you I'm 44 .
I have Ds 19, Dd1 12 and Dd2 8 and miscarried this March at 11 weeks. I got pregnant again after my first AF but unfortunately miscarried at 6 weeks in June.
We didn't wait to ttc this time as the miscarriage was so early . I poas when my AF was a day late, got a BFN but wasn't particularly surprised. A few days later I was feeling crampy and bloated, poas again and got BFP!!!!!! I'm excited but very worried too, having had several miscarriages I know a BFP isn't a guarantee of a successful out come but I did a clearblue digital test this week and it's moved on to +3 weeks since conception so things are progressing even though it's very early days.
Just shows though, 44 isn't too old to get pregnant!

knicky, our dates must be very similar, I'm 5w5d today!

hopefulgum Thu 19-Jul-12 00:41:19

Wow, Irishmammy that's great news. Congratulations. May your pregnancy be trouble-free.For today you are pregnant!

After the longest luteal phase ever, I am bleeding today. Glad that the uncertainty is over. Truly sick of the waiting and hoping and waste of money on first response tests! ARGH. This last few months, with the miscarraige that took a couple of weeks to resolve, i must have gone through about twenty tests.I had better order some internet cheapies.

I'm guessing,after the miscarriage things were a bit off,and I must have ovulated a few days later. I don't know, it is hard to say, I have been charting and the temperature rise would indicate ovulation, but perhaps it's a bit off. Oh well, new cycle, maybe this time? Right now I feel sick of the whole thing, but I know that by the time ovulation rolls near, I will feel differently.

somewhere I love the idea of you proof-reading whilst DTD!Very practical, and this TTC caper has taken the romance and lust out of sex a bit. The deed just has to be done, and the romance can come later, once the BFP arrives...grin

somewherebecomingrain Thu 19-Jul-12 08:10:05

yep hopeful and my hair was a state (unwashed, not merely mussed attractively). it woz lovely. i dont know about romance after the BFP - during my one pgnancy i became a total banshee - although i was really into sex. unfortunately my DP wasn't one of those who finds pregnancy an enhancement to women's attractiveness so we were a bit at odds there.

sorry about your AF - it sounds like maybe this month was a tricky one and next month it will be easier. i am also grappling with working out what the hell is going on. i was hoping i'd had a disrupted cycle last month indicating a low-level Chem pg the month before, but in fact i just got my dates muddled up. have just bought myself a basal temp thermometer and lo and behold i have forgotten to use it. got some cheapo opk sticks too from the internet, gonna use them alongside my expensive clearblue ones to see if they give consistent results.

ooh - must check my opk.... real-time result here, i think its broken.

goth sorry about your AF. hope it's not too rough and you feel better soon.

irish lovely!


knickyknocks Thu 19-Jul-12 08:33:00

Irish wonderful news! thanks You're a day ahead of me (I'm 5 weeks 4 days today). I completely understand how you're feeling having had some early pregnancy losses myself. It seems to me that we wait forever to get that BFP, and when we do, you still can't relax and enjoy it. For today, you are pregnant and that's wonderful news.
hopeful and somewhere god yes, romance with DTD?? What's that?? Loving the thought of proof-reading whilst DTD. It had become somewhat perfunctory in the knickyknocks household (how can it be sexy when you're DTD when DD is in bed for her afternoon nap and you've had to take annual leave especially to do it......hardly spontaneous!!)
paula I'm hoping that irish's news will give you the spur on that you need at the mo. That definitely proves we're not too old! xxx

gothinrecovery Thu 19-Jul-12 09:00:50

That's great news Irish, fingers crossed. smile

Still feel rough today and extremely low. To be honest don't know if I should just step away from all of this. I know I am not too old but it took me 4 years to get a BFP (and no reason ever diagnosed - all tests we had were fine) by which time we had basically given up hope, so I can't help feeling that the chances of me getting another one ain't great as it was so difficult to get pg in the first place. Sorry to moan sad

gothinrecovery Thu 19-Jul-12 12:48:17

Wanted to apologise for the miserable post above.. feeling a bit better. Just need to try and stay positive. There are lots of positive stories on here after all.

Gum sorry it wasn't good news this month.

Irishmammybread Thu 19-Jul-12 13:00:04

Thanks for all the good wishes everyone!

gothin, you shouldn't need to apologise, this whole ttc/pregnancy loss business is such an emotional rollercoaster,we all have good days and bad days,look after yourself

Paula2012 Thu 19-Jul-12 14:40:30

Irishmammybread that is such good news for you. It's made me feel so much better. There is hope for all us just need to stay positive. You are right 44 is not that old. Years ago women were having children a lot older. Let's hope it happens for all of us soon....

JBrd Thu 19-Jul-12 15:17:06

Aww, ladies, although I know that we're all dead serious about getting knocked up, I can't help but giggle at some of your stories! Thanks, it's lightened up my day smile

Congrats to you who are already there, very jealous of your BFPs! Struggling with AF, I always bleed like a pig for the first couple of days and feel really rough (sorry for tmi). Not complaining too much, though, I am glad she's finally back. I really hope it won't take us long to get a BFP - I never thought to say this, but with my job being this bad, I want to get pg as soon as possible. I feel guilty for saying this, but I can't face looking for something else at the moment.

gothinrecovery Thu 19-Jul-12 17:36:34

Thanks Irish, think the fact AF has been so bad this month hasn't helped. I probably need to just try and have some fun and not obsess about things so much, just finding it hard to keep positive sometimes.

Fingers crossed for everyone!

cuckoogirl Thu 19-Jul-12 17:59:08

Hello everyone, may I join this thread, please? I'm 41 next month and was pregnant for the first time this year until March when I was told at the 11 week scan that there was no baby - only a fully-developed sac and placenta. I've had four cycles since then but no luck. I really am losing faith, but, more alarmingly, my DP is finding almost impossible to ejaculate around ovulation - sorry if this is too much information. He has infrequently suffered with erectile dysfunction but not so it impaired our lovemaking more than maybe once or twice a year. Now, however, as the months roll on and I am becoming increasingly panicky that I won't conceive again, he is getting into some terrible states approaching ovulation.

Yesterday we visited a gynaecological consultant who told us we didn't qualify for NHS IVF due to my age and the fact that my DP has a child already from a previous relationship. The doctor seemed very unsympathetic - unsurprising I suppose considering I was pregnant this year. Anyway, they have agreed to test DPs sperm and scan my womb & ovaries and today (day 2 of my cycle) I've had blood taken, which will be repeated on day 21.

I don't quite know why we went for help as DP can clearly get me pregnant. I feel I'm panicking due to my age but I don't know how to stop. I'm desperate for a child. Can anyone offer any advice? Folk kept telling me I would fall pregnant straight away after my miscarriage but it's been four months now since the ERPC and I'm losing hope.

somewherebecomingrain Thu 19-Jul-12 20:24:59

goth no apologies - it's really hard, it's one of the hardest things there are, you are so brave to keep going with it. that's the great thing about this thread, everyone understands. there are big emotional adjustments every month, and ever so often even bigger ones, and eventually a huge definitive adjustment we all know it'll come one day, one way or the other. No apologies, look after yourself, be kind to yourself. I'm pleased to hear your tests were good xxx

cuckoogirl that is tough - people close to me have had those scans and they're very shocking. At 41 and recently pregnant things are not so bad for you technically, but emotionally much harder. Again be kind to yourself, the panic gets to all of us, so don't blame yourself. The DP sexual problem sounds like it is the emotions - I would say take a holiday, do something relaxing (that you could never do with a young child) but that is maybe easier said than done. Lots of inspiring stories on here though - you have every reason to hope and i hope your stay on here is short for all the right reasons.

irish and knicky lovely. knicky what a DTD story!

Still on that downward slope towards OV. am getting twinges all the time, abdominal cramps. have looked at babycenter's photographic guide to cervical mucus - wow i recognise each stage after 25 years of menstruating, but i never realised it was to do with ovulation. it's also a lovely set of photos - ikea should sell it as a set to hang on your wall.

hello everyone - hope you are all well.

cuckoogirl Thu 19-Jul-12 20:29:53

Thank you for replying, somewhere - what do you mean when you say the womb & ovary scans 'are very shocking'??!

Irishmammybread Thu 19-Jul-12 20:49:13

cuckoo, I totally understand that desperation for a baby,especially when you've lost a baby recently, it becomes almost all consuming.
After my miscarriage,though my DH wanted to try again and really wanted another baby he categorically didn't want to think about ovulation or timing, he felt it would take away all the romance and that he might not want to/be able to perform . I was checking my temp but he just preferred not to know or talk about it and I just tried to seduce him as often as possible and as close to ovulation day as I could! Ignorance is bliss, men are sensitive creatures !
Everyone is different but for us it helped when DH didn't feel under pressure.

cuckoogirl Thu 19-Jul-12 21:21:38

Thank you Irishmammy, you are right, of of my fertility charts and cervical mucus have certainly not helped DPs state of mind since the MC. I now try to put him off the scent of ovulation by not talking about it but he now knows the exact date each month. He whiffs my seduction attempts from a mile away (despite my seducing him regularly at other times too). This month we are trying Viagra as this will rectify his erectile dysfunction worries and will boost his confidence at actually being able to ejaculate at the crucial times (hopefully). I totally sympathise with the pressure he is under but my private devastation when he can neither ejaculate on the day of ovulation nor the day before is palpable. I've even resorted to ordering a self-insemination kit online (from India!) as a Plan B in case his anxieties are too much on the day. However, DP is distictly unimpressed and claims it won't work anyway as sperm dies 'as soon as it hits fresh air'! Is this true? Surely not..

blackcatsdancing Thu 19-Jul-12 22:21:05

i'm not sure how much (if any) truth there is in that old chestnut about being extra fertile after a MC. For every woman i've read on the MC threads who did get pregnant very quickly ive read as many women despairing on conception threads that they haven't- and made to feel worse because they see that peak fertile time dripping away .FWIW my ERPC was start of feb, no pregnancy since apart from a CP last month. (age 44 now)

gothinrecovery Thu 19-Jul-12 22:33:05

blackcats - I know what you mean. I think I had got it into my head that I would get pregnant again more or less straight away and feel worse because I haven't for the reasons you say.

I probably had a MC at 4+4 in Oct - never tested though so won't ever be 100% sure but am fairly sure of it now I have had a confirmed pregnancy which ended in mc at 7 weeks end of May. So I am trying to tell myself I can get pg and need to wait for the right egg but it is hard. Didn't know about your CP - hope you are okay.

Hugs to Cuckoo, that must have been hard with the scan etc.

hopefulgum Fri 20-Jul-12 00:45:13

Hello and welcome Cuckoo. I'm sorry that ttc has been such an ordeal for you, it really is difficult.

Like Irishmammmy I have had to be sneaky about ovulation too, my DH has no idea of my cycle.I keep it very quiet, so that when it is time for DTD he isn't put off. But my reasoning is a little different - my DH doesn't want to ttc, but if it happens, will be okay about a baby. I have heard of other women having the same issues,and also having their DH's use viagra - with success, so I hope that helps you.

As for the life of sperm, I know for a fact that sperm will survive for about 30 minutes if it is kept at body temperature. My DH had a vasectomy reversal (and we've got a 3 year old son as a result, me at age 41) and had to have a sperm sample analysed. He ejaculated, collected the sample in a specimen jar,and I placed it under my bra to keep it warm because I had to drive 20 minutes to the lab. He got a very good result, so I'm guessing the sperm survived well.

Goth it is perfectly normal to feel crap when AF shows. Especially as we're on an emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows. After AF we feel hopeful because ovulation is coming, we prepare mentally for that, shag as much as possible (despite what seems like the whole universe conspiring against the opportunity to have sex - illness, injury, children's needs, tiredness, over-work, etc,etc), then feel hopeful and notice symptoms, or feel hopeless one day and hopeful the next, then getting BFN's, but still hoping for a late BFP then AF finding us. It really is hard, and when you do it month after month, it can be quite disheartening.

I've been ttc since DS was ten months old - but had to wait another 8 months or so for my fertility to return. I've been pregnant three times since then, losing two of them at about 10 weeks, and one, more recently at about 5 weeks. I sometimes can't believe that I'd get back up and try again, with the odds against me, but I always feel there is a glimmer of hope, even if it is tiny, it's still there, and I truly believe that eventually, the right egg will come along - they won't all be totally useless.

It really does help to have supportive online friends (no one in RL really understands why on earth I'd try again at my age and when I already have 5 kids, but I just feel I have to have one more to complete my family). Even my doctor said that when my "case" was discussed at the practice the other doctors couldn't understand why I'd keep trying. I don't think doctors are all that compassionate. My doctor does seem to sympathise, but it does hurt to hear that the others in her practice think I'm loopy for wanting a baby.Most of my RL friends are loving that their children have grown up and are flying the coop- they talk about having loads of time to themselves and travel etc, but I just don't feel the same way.

Sorry about the long post(that's if you've managed to get to the endsmile).Where there's life there's hope - I really believe that.thanks

hopefulgum Fri 20-Jul-12 00:46:21

Blackcats - sorry about your CP, I don't think I knew about that either.

somewherebecomingrain Fri 20-Jul-12 08:13:36

blackcats didn't know about your CP so sorry big hugs.
cuckoogirl I meant the scan where there was no baby sad. big hugs to you and fingers crossed.
goth big hugs to you too and am rooting for you. good advice from gum.

blackcatsdancing Fri 20-Jul-12 08:48:37

thanks everyone. it was awful but far rather it ended when it did at just under 5 weeks than further along after some bonding took place.

I didnt tell DP, he was devastated by my MMC in FEB and after initially wanting to try again he changed his mind and became very reluctant so i stopped discussing TTC at all with him and say nothing after fertile times. He said if i really wanted it to go for it but he didn't want to know. I couldn't tell him i was pregnant so early on, not sure what the plan was, can't see how easy it would be to keep it secret for the whole 3 months and then do i tell him on the day of the scan? or after? i think in my head i was going to tell him after a successful scan and then pay for a private one he could attend. ridiculous when i think about it. If the scan was another bad one how would i hide that?

DP said , apart from general worries about the cost of bringing up children that a big issue was the waiting, basically the stress of waiting to know if everything was going to be ok, DP suffers from depression and anxiety. Now i'm not even sure anymore what i'm going to do.

blackcatsdancing Fri 20-Jul-12 08:51:51

cuckoogirl so sorry about your scan. I found out my baby had died at the 12 week scan. The only clue that all was not well was some tiny bleeding 2 days before the scan. so sorry you had such awful news.

blackcatsdancing Fri 20-Jul-12 08:54:19

congrats irish hope its a sticky one for you!

gothinrecovery Fri 20-Jul-12 09:06:42

Just dipping in here - probably won't be on over the weekend as got a ton of stuff to do in the house.

Gum/ somewhere just wanted to say thanks for the kind words, I did get right to the end! There is hope, of course there is. Sorry to hear about the unsupportive DH's.

AF seems to be easing off thank god so will pick myself up and get on with things. Got a holiday to look forward to in a few weeks which will be nice.

gothinrecovery Fri 20-Jul-12 09:07:24

Hugs all round as well - blackcats that must have been hard keeping the CP from your other half.

hopefulgum Fri 20-Jul-12 10:44:20

Blackcats, I know exactly how that feels, s I didn't tell my DH about the CP I had recently either. Like you I thought Id keep it to myself til later, til I felt that the pregnancy would progress, but I think I may have been a bit deluded, because I have no idea how I'd hide the terrible constant nausea I usually gethmm. I guess I thought I'd see how long I could keep it a secret, I thought it would be before the 12 week scan, but after about 9-10 weeks because that's when I'd miscarried before. How silly of me - imagine if I had miscarried at 9 weeks, I would be so upset, how would I keep that from DH?

When I did miscarry around 5 weeks, I was glad I hadn't told him,as I think if I had he would want me to have my tubes tied or he'd wear a condom - mainly because he couldn't handle the loss again. It's tricky isn't it?

Goth - I'm glad you have a holiday to look forward to- sounds like just what you need.

I had a lovely day out with my daughters, shopping. They enjoyed the time together and with me, and it was fun. We had a lot of laughs and enjoyed hot chocolate and brownies at a cafe (well, they did, I had a cup of tea - trying to stick to my diet).

Hey Deige - are you opening the bistro? I'd love some crispy skinned salmon with pea puree and crunchy sweet potato chips. I'll have a crisp chardonnay and a bailey's creme brulee for dessert. My DS2, aged 19, works in a pub kitchen and made us the yummiest Bailey's creme brulee last week.


Paula2012 Fri 20-Jul-12 11:41:30

I know what you mean about keeping it from your other half last time I didn't tell him I was pregnant as I knew I would lose it again it's funny but with my first child I didn't even think that I might lose it as I hadn't gone through any of this. It's strange how you feel differently as you get older. I am trying to stay positive just found out my step sister had her baby this morning. Mine was due on 7th July. Why is life so crap sometimes you try and feel better and then something kicks you back down. Sorry to go on just think you ladies on here are the only ones who know what its like.

cuckoogirl Fri 20-Jul-12 11:57:41

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words and stories. It's strange, you know, but six months ago, when I was still 40.5 years old, I had all the confidence in the world that I would not belong to the 'over 40' statistics of doom (and I did, indeed, get pregnant within 2 months of trying). However, now that 41 is looming (and I've had a MMC) I now feel like every other would-be mummy over 40 who is grasping and hoping that it is 'meant to be' that she has a child.

I have to say the 11 week scan was traumatic, if only because I was huge and my breasts were 2 cup sizes bigger and splattered with blue veins. My stomach was so big that DP and I ( and everyone else including our friendly Asan taxi driver!) were feully expecting to be told we were having twins (they run in the family). I was excitedly clutching my four pound coins ready to pay for the scan photo beforehand. The sonographer took ages with the scan and asked if I knew I had a womb which 'tipped backwards' (why would I?) She kept saying this probably explained why 'baby is hiding so well'...but I knew. I knew from the floppy, irregular-shaped and empty big sac on the screen. She called in her colleague and they did a vaginal scan but by this stage I was howling - literally. The sonographer lightly touched my knee in sympathy and said "I know, I feel like there's no time left due to your age.." At which point I actually felt my world was caving in.

Anyway, it has humbled me, really, and I now no longer take for granted my body and no longer feel I am any more special than every other forty-plus desperate woman out there. I hope against hope we are all granted our dream very soon...

Paula2012 Fri 20-Jul-12 12:19:09

cuckoogirl I can so relate to your story I had a scan last nov at ten weeks and they told me the same my womb tilted backwards as if you would knw? I then had a vaginal scan which wasn't pleasant I had to have an ERPC in the end. You are right it does make you feel humbled and to be fair everyone was really nice at the hospital but it doesn't take away the pain. I think there must be more women out there going through this than we realise. With regards to age I have heard recently of women having children at 45 and 46 which makes me feel a lot better. Lets hope we are all lucky soon.

hello all, it's been a while since I posted. knicky your lovely words to me made me well up... but sadly, there are too many other mothers who have also lost their children, and I hate that.

fireflies We had the 20-week anomaly scan today, and the sonographer was very thorough, and especially checked for any signs of vasa previa (veins going to the baby outside the placenta, very rare and dangerous, but happened with Mia and was not picked up). I had been really worried, ironically because I had felt massive kicks a couple of nights ago, and while I had been delighted at that point , I had almost convinced myself in retrospect that it was the baby signalling to me that something was wrong. However, everything is thankfully ok, and baby is spot on for its growth charts. DH asked to hear the heartbeat, and had a little cry when he heard it. So that's the next hurdle over...

welcome to all the newer ladies here - paula, JBrd, cuckoo, gothic and irish My story is this : I am 42, and 20 weeks pg with my second child (natural conception, although we were about to start IVF) due early Dec. My beautiful red-headed daughter, Mia, was born when I was 40, however she died last October very unexpectedly at the age of 13 months. We were desperate for another child, and are obviously still dealing with our grief, so we are taking this pg one day at a time. Before Mia, I also had an anembryonic pg like you cuckoo, which we found out at 9 weeks when I started bleeding. I became pg with Mia about 5 months afterwards, with my doctor telling me I didn't need to wait...

cuckoogirl Fri 20-Jul-12 13:41:39

Paula, I am so sorry for your loss...let's stay positive x

MiaAM, how utterly, utterly tragic..and how brave you are. How exciting (and, yes, scary) to be pregnant again. I'm so pleased things are progressing well for you. I found myself holding my breath reading your story and actually feel quite faint thinking of your loss. You deserve so much happiness and great joy x

cuckoogirl Fri 20-Jul-12 13:45:19

MiaAM, may I ask, are you suggesting that having only waited 5 months from your anembryonic pregnancy to get pregnant with Mia that had something to do with the tragic outcome? Or am I totally misreading your post? I am so sorry if I have misunderstood..

No, sorry, I haven't been clear. Mia's death was totally and utterly unrelated to her birth, or to the previous MC. She was just very, very unlucky...a whole other story. All I meant to say was that I did manage to naturally conceive after the anembryonic pregnancy. My doctor didn't say anything one way or the other about being more or less fertile, but merely said 'get on with it' because of my age... Not sure there is any great wisdom for you to glean here, other than the fact that my age or the MC didn't prevent subsequent pgs. I just wish there was a 100% certainty factor for us all. December seems so very far away yet...

cuckoogirl Fri 20-Jul-12 13:58:05

Thank you, MaiAM, for your clarification. I'll bet December feels like miles away for you, but, believe isn't!! x

blackcatsdancing Fri 20-Jul-12 15:02:39

miasmummy so glad to hear the scan went well! Agree with cuckoogirl, 20 weeks isn't long at all, though must seem like an eternity before you have your baby in your arms.

10000Fireflies Fri 20-Jul-12 15:22:08

mam great news that you've had 20 week scan and all ok. Keep up the good work.

gum thanks for your thoughts on CS, TTC and FET. Hope you are doing ok.

One handed typing again so just a quickie from me. Welcome to newbies. Hi and hugs to all> Have a great weekend.

btw, Diege, any chance of fish and chips later?

FF xx

cuckoogirl Fri 20-Jul-12 15:50:09

Erm...why do people keep asking Diege for food??

diege opens a Friday night 'cafe' for all the thread grin, if she isn't too busy! Don't know the full history, but appreciate the sentiment, especially now I can't drink alcohol, although I am indulging in pretty much everything else... It's gorgonzola and spinach gnocchi for me, please, as well as prosecco and a then a nice sharp lemon tart, if you don't mind, diege. I so miss prosecco...

cuckoogirl Fri 20-Jul-12 17:01:50

Oooh! Well, in that case, can I have a fillet steak with chips, please in a madeira sauce and hot cherry pie with real dairy icecream for afters? I'll have a can of Lupton's Iced Tea, too...

Diege Fri 20-Jul-12 21:24:04

<zooms in> CAFE you say???!!!! It's a bistro I'll have you know grin. I have just finished my exam marked, spurred on by a 'warning- we know your marks are late' e-mail blush
Good to hear everyone's news and mam that's such great news about your scan. Had been thinking it must be any day now.
Gum I really get where you're coming from wanting that last baby - ignore all the comments - you don't want to look back at 60 and think worrying about what people think stopped you giving it your best shot. I do have (and have always said) that I feel you will get there in the end, however sadly stressful and emotional draining it all is xxx
I have read through the thread at various points in the week, and so sorry to hear tales of past mmc, bad scans etc. Sadly I think most of us have been there at some poitn sad. It really is an emotional rollarcoaster but this thread is such a great source of support, so let's raise a (non alcoholic) glass to us all xxx
All fine here - annual leave on Tuesday till mid-august when I will do some creative working from home to cover childcare grin. Off to see the women's olympic football next week at cardiff, courtesy of free work tickets - not told the dds yet; will be a big surprise for them and we'll be staying in a hotel which they think is the best thing in the world!
Love to all, and I'll get those orders processed pronto!

hopefulgum Fri 20-Jul-12 23:59:29

*Miasmummy", I'm so glad that your scan went well. I know 20 weeks til birth seems so far, but before you know it your darling baby will be in your arms. And I think lovely Mia is by your side (I'm sure she had a hand in the conception, from what you said before)keeping an eye on things.

Deige - hurray on getting the marking finished - that's a huge mountain to climb. I hate exam marking, but the only way to get it done is to knuckle down and do itgrin.

Your trip to Cardiff with DDs sounds wonderful. You'll be starting holidays and I'm finishing mine. We start again on Monday. I don't usually work on Mondays, but the Government ,in its wisdom, are introducing a new national curriculum in Australia, so it's best I go to the professional learning on Monday. The bonus is an extra days pay, but I think I'd rather have an extra day at home with the kids(pupil free for them).

I'm in the process of organising a holiday for the family to Lombok and Bali next year. Last time I did this the whole family went and had to leave me behind because I was 35 weeks pregnant and couldn't get travel insurance(and had a threatened prem labour). So perhaps organising this holiday will get me pregnant? I'm hoping to be pregnant and have given birth well before we go on the holiday, but we all know at this age, it is impossible to just "plan" a pregnancy and have it happenconfused. At least it is something to plan...(the holiday)

Do the Olympics start soon [stupid emoticon]? Are any of you living in London? Has it got madly busy there?I think I heard that traffic is really slow?It must be both exciting and annoying at the same time. I think I'd clear out of London and rent my house out for squillions if I was there.

I'm with you, Deige , raising a glass to the wonderful supportive friends I have on Mumsnetwine

Diege Sat 21-Jul-12 07:43:57

Hi Gum! Holiday plans sound amazing! Let's hope you have a little bundle to take along with you. Not anywhere near London here, but the olympic events are (to some extent) throughout the UK, with a few quite close by. Though the one we're going to is a good 3.5 hrs train journey away - London would be closer! Exam marking is finished, a massive relief, just need to take the final batch down to the PO this morning.
Lovely sunny morning here which is such a novelty. I don't think my washing will know what to do with itself grin
Love to all, and hope the bistro went down well grin

somewherebecomingrain Sat 21-Jul-12 09:14:56

yep diege and gum totally agree - was just thinking last night as I went to bed how amazing it is to have all these virtual friends. We're like brains in tanks chatting about our dreams, but it really works. This is a good thread - the only place I can really talk about it and feel people understand. I do tone it down a bit but only a bit.
cuckoo yes someone close to me had that experience and it was devatastating. They didn't have much support from their DP but nonetheless they went on to have two babies so don't give up hope. You are very brave.
goth where are you going on holiday?
diege I'm low-carbing so can I have some lank shanks with carrots, broccoli and .... er... mange tout.
mam BRILLIANT NEWS so pleased smile.
sorry for anyone i've missed DP circling

Diege Sat 21-Jul-12 09:54:43

Lank shanks coming up somewhere - hope that's not a Freudian slip wink
I sort of raised the possibility of going for number 6 last night with dh (you're right about the broodiness at 9/10 mths Gum) but not something imminent (saying yes that is). I think he could be turned, but at present dh's mother very ill with mid stage Althzeimers which is causing a lot of stresses at present. Not sure I want to be 'turned' towards ttc-ing either, but again I could be persuaded!
I'm pretty convinced dd1 has chicken pox (his best frined presented with spots 10 days ago). He has two large pink spots on his tummy, though seems well etc. Just too much of a coincidence not to be iyswim hmm. Will have to take him into work with me on Monday (to pick up the Olympic tickets, must get the tickets) but will go in very quickly and avoid any sort of human contact. Then dh will take over weds/thurs when we're away in Cardiff. I am NOT missing out on the Olympics now I am so close!

MrsWooster Sat 21-Jul-12 12:43:22

Hello - I'm mostly a lurker (with some posts as Elena67), but here's some news: A BFP this morning! 4+1 and I haven't even told DP as he's out til teatime but I have to tell someone! I am 45, with one DS aged 2 so there's hope for all... For Today I Am Pregnant.

cuckoogirl Sat 21-Jul-12 13:14:30

MrsWooster! How incredibly brilliant! I'm so happy for you (as everyone else will be on here)!

Please can we have some more brief 'life stories' like Miasmummy gave us the other day? I'd like to know people's backgrounds a little more if you can be bothered? Thank you, and have a great weekend all.

cuckoogirl Sat 21-Jul-12 13:18:50

Oh, and can anyone please tell me what results we are looking for from the blood that was taken on day 2 of my cycle? I know when they take blood again on day 21 they'll be looking at progesterone levels - am I right? Also, I ovulate on day 15 each month - shouldn't they be taking blood on day 22 for me, then (seven days after ov)? Thanks for any advice.

sparklysapphire Sat 21-Jul-12 13:51:40

Hi all, I was going to wait til later to post, but the fantastic news from MrsWooster spurred me to do it now. Congratulations MrsW, that's brilliant, Fx it's a sticky one. And congratulations too to irish. I know it's very early days but I've been feeling a bit dispondent and this is very encouraging news. It's not too late.
Welcome cuckoo, paula & Jbrd. I'd never heard of an anembryonic pregnancy before I had one, but I think it must be relatively common, I know of at least two other people in RL who've had them. I suppose it's all tied up with the silence around MC. But on the positive side, in RL I know women who've had babies at 41 to 45, and at least 3 of those were natural conceptions (don't know about the other 2) so just adding that in together with the recent BFPs on here that it can happen. I'm just having a "don't think it'll happen for me" few days especially as DH not around much at the moment.
Miasmum, excellent news that all is fine with your 20 weeks scan, that seems to me to have come round quite quickly, but probably not for you. Enjoy your Olympic volunteering, sounds exciting, but as others have said, don't overdo it. Knicky, I hope all is well and you're feeling ok both physically & emotionally. Deige, you must be pleased to have got all that marking out of the way and handed it over the post office. Gum your weekend away sounds lovely, and I like your holiday plans, maybe they'll do the trick and you won't be able to go for the right reasons!
I have a question for the knowledgable ladies here. Last cycle (as I may have mentioned more than once) I had really sore boobs for about 2 weeks, so despite the BFN, I think there's a possibility something may have happened. (AF finally arrived after a 32 day cycle, slightly longer than average but not unusual). But I always have sore boobs for about a week before AF arrives which stops 24-48 hours beforehand, which I guess would coincide with a temp drop if I ever get chance to order a BBT thermometer. So as far as I know, the soreness is due to progesterone, and I'm producing progesterone every cycle, so that does that mean I'm definitely ovulating? Of is it possible to produce it without ovulation? Sorry for the ramble. I've been checking in but no time to post as work mad - we finally left our lovely old building for the shiny new one last week, which was a bit of a wrench having worked there for many years, and then this week poor DD has had tonsilitis. She's better now and demanding food....
Sorry not to name check everyone, hope you are all well, love to all. xx

cuckoogirl Sat 21-Jul-12 15:12:39

Sparkly, I've been temping with fertilityfriend since I started TTC. It's a bloody obsession, and what I don't know about my cycles aint worth knowing! The first cycle after my missed miscarriage (ERPC) I could see that my spiky temps remained more or less the same throughout the cycle. Fertlityfriend suggested I 'may' have ovulated on day 22 but, looking at the inconsiderable shift (which would indicate progesterone levels), I would say I didn't ovulate (OPKs remained negative, too). My point is, even towards the end of that cycle my temps were as high and spiky as those preceding them, which suggests to me that decent levels of progesterone can still be present despite not having ovulated.

Deffo get yourself a basal body thermometer - they're super. My luteal phase is normally 14 days but since the ERPC four months ago it has been 13. I know from CD10 whether I'm pregnant as each day thereafter until AF arrives there is a slight but steady decline in temps. Sometimes day 13 remains the same temp as day 12 and I start to get really excited, but it always ends the same with day 14 dropping considerably. It's so predictable that I no longer buy pregnancy tests; when I see that descending arc from day 10/11 I know I'm doomed (and I no longer get excited that I'm still pretty high up off the coverline on day 13).

I don't know if any of this helps but I find it actually helps ME telling you how I interpret the annoying/exciting little foibles within my charts!

P.s..I trust fertilityfriend implicitly with pinpointing ovulation; they've never been wrong yet. Even when, once, I knew they'd got it wrong, they amazingly corrected themselves two days later without my prompting. Brilliant!

cuckoogirl Sat 21-Jul-12 15:54:03

I thought I'd give you a couple more nuggets of info from the chart which resulted in pregnancy for me back in January. A lady on here (I'm sorry, I can't remember your name) was asking about egg-white cervical mucus (EWCM). My pregnancy chart shows I had EWCM on day 12 and I ovulated day 15. On days 13 & 14 I left the CM space blank as I remember having nothing discernible to report. On the day of ovulation I had 'watery' CM. My pattern of intercourse: 12.30pm on the day of ovulation (I reckon this was bang-on the money); very late PM two days before ovulation; and very late PM two days before that (four days before ovulation).

The chart immediately after the ERPC shows we had a ridiculous amount of well-timed intercourse on the day of ov and each day preceding for about a week. No positive OPK and no fertile CM. I really don't believe I ovulated. It took three months after the ERPC to see any fertile CM and even then it wasn't egg-white.

Egg-white only returned this last month and was only discovered after straining for a poo, checking my 'front bum' toilet paper and stretching the findings between thumb & finger. I'm so glad I checked after the poo as I am convinced it would not have appeared naturally in my underwear or 'digging for it'. Sorry if this is all a bit crude but I do feel the presence of EWCM is crucial in order to keep those sperm healthy and alive from the sex we have days before ovulation. That's why I'm always excited to see it. I'm beginning to sound like a weirdo...

cuckoogirl Sat 21-Jul-12 16:07:21

...can I also add that my LH surge is always detected the day before ovulation. However, this last month I decided to use a Clearblue digital predictor and it gave me a smiley face at 8pm TWO DAYS before I ovulated. The conclusion to this boring tale (sorry!) is that I don't trust the Clearblue digitals. I honestly believe ovulation takes place 24-36 hours after a true LH surge - not 48 hours. I dismantled the Clearblue stick after it gave me a smiley face and the line was surprisingly very faint. Had that been my usual cheapie OPK I would have dismissed it as negative.

I also no longer get excited about 'implantation dips'. I had a hugely exciting one on 8 DPO in May and I wasn't pregnant.

I also do not get excited any longer when my temperatures begin to 'soar'. I don't actually believe the behaviour of post ovulation temps mean a damn thing until the day before AF is due. I've examined squillions of women's pregnancy charts on fertilityfriend and there are some freakishly weird goings-on right up until the BFP - huge drops in temp falling below the coverline all the way through their luteal phase etc. Hope any of this helps..

somewherebecomingrain Sat 21-Jul-12 17:53:36

cuckoo maybe a bit tmi there about the poo but otherwise interesting stuff. i am wondering if having sperm up there makes the CM hard to assess? I got a luteinising hormone surge result today but my CM is clumpy and opaque. But we've been doing it a lot.

cuckoogirl Sat 21-Jul-12 19:01:36

Somewhere, there's no way of telling the true nature of CM when it's mixed in with sperm. You're in with a fab chance if you've been having sex alot; more sex tonight and tomorrow will be spot on for you if you've surged today, I reckon. Good luck! (Sorry about the poo story - I was trying to explain how otherwise I would never have known the EWCM was there).

hopefulgum Sun 22-Jul-12 00:44:49

cuckoo - never TMI when it comes to ttc. We all want to know the detailsgrinI have found Fertility Friend absolutely wonderful. I have been charting there since Jan 2007 (I started ttc our DS in April 2007, conceived Nov 2007 - I had just turned 41). The charting has really helped understand my cycle and has helped get through the long wait after the miscarriages - it took a while to ovulate. But it also reassured me, when my doctor said, "it is unlikely that you are ovulating as your day 2 estrogen levels are low", but from the charting I could see a temp shift, and I also used opks.I also had normal levels of progesterone on day 21. And since she said that, I have had a pregnancy (the last one which miscarried early).

I don't have obvious egg-white mucus, but still manage getting pregnant.I do have a change - it becomes watery after being creamy- but rarely see the egg-white stuff. I used to have copious amounts of it when I was young. I had no idea how much I'd miss it when I got oldersmilebut I didn't even realise what it was.

By the way, you should have your progesterone tested 7 days post O, not on day 21 as is commonly thought. It would get results all wrong if you ovulated on day 17 wouldn't it? Doctors are so ignorant with this stuff.

Congratulations Mrswooster, I hope all goes well for you. Keep us posted.

Cuckoo - brief life story (I think this is what you mean?)- I am a mum of five. I had my first child at age 24, and thought at the time that having children was crazy, he was such an unhappy baby and I had PND. My DH had to convince me that he needed a sibling, so I had DS2. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous, happy, fat, easy baby and then I decided lots of babies would be great. Then I had DD1. My DH decided that three was enough, but then we were lazy with contraception and along came DD2. She was a tough baby - colic, crying constantly for the first 7 months. By the time she was one my Dh had a vasectomy - which I agreed was a good idea. When DD2 was about 4 I started feeling I really wanted another baby. My Dh was adamant that we were done with having babies, but I just couldn't shake the desire. After three years of trying to feel differently about it, I just couldn't give up the idea, and so my DH agreed to have a reversal, and DS3 came along.

I thought having one baby after DH's reversal would cure me, but unfortunately it hasn't. I feel he needs a sibling close in age, as his nearest sib is 8 years older. His parents are older, so I think it would be good for him to have an ally as he grows up. I'd also love to have one last babe. It just feels natural and what I should be doing. I love the whole thing - being pregnant, having a small baby, having a toddler, and kids of all ages. Unfortunately my poor DH doesn't feel the same way. He feels he's done enough, and who can blame him, he only wanted three kids? But the last time I was pregnant(the miscarriage at 9 weeks), he was actually really comfortable with it, very accepting and seemed happy about it, he just doesn't want to deliberately TTC.So I don't say much and he has no idea about my cycle.

Sorry - that life story was a bit long.

Last day of my holidays today. I've got a visit from my mum this morning, yoga this afternoon, and a nice get together with our neighbourhood friends this evening. A nice way to end the

cuckoogirl Sun 22-Jul-12 11:22:39

Ooooh, hopeful, thank you for all that information! Your hubby sounds lovely to me - and your children! You lucky lady. I feel so envy! But...I would imagine your desire for a last baby is just as strong as those of us who are trying for our first. How wonderful if it happens for you again soon. I think you're very wise to keep your DH in the dark regarding cycles - how do you manage that? May I ask if you manage enough sex at the right time without raising ('scuse the pun) his suspicions?

I, too, in hindsight, remember (not too long ago) being semi-aware of tons of slippery, stretchy stuff in my underwear at certain times of the month but I had no concept of fertile fluid or how desirable it would turn out to be!

Last night the DP and I test-drove his new Viagra and it worked a treat (mind you, we're only CD4 and he knows ovulation is a safe distance away - I must try harder to put him off the scent like you, hopeful). However, I know this sounds really awful but I'm beginning to resent all the free-flowing, easy-to-access semen when it's offered up at 'normal' times of the month - I feel it's a waste when we struggle so much at ovulation. Never mind...must think positive. I'm just so desperate to 'gather his harvest' every day for the four days before ov this month. Let's hope the viagra's up to it!

Well, last night I baked my world-famous(?) carrot cake thinking that I would take it to my local hairdresser who did a marvellous job on my thatch last week and whom I sadly (and guiltily) couldn't afford to tip. It was only whilst the magnificent beast was baking in the oven that I realised that it was a Saturday night and the hairdressers won't open again until Monday. So, dear reader, I ate it. And I'm still eating it....hmm

somewherebecomingrain Sun 22-Jul-12 11:23:03

I actually got some EWCM last night. i too remember having loads of it when i was young but didn't think twice about it. anyway i've been sticking my finger up there and getting stretchy stuff - about a centimeter - and opaque and clumpy thinking 'that's not it', that's dried up sperm. then last night i had the opaque, clumpy stuff again.

But suddenly noticed a long stretchy bit of egg whity stuff totally transparent wound around my finger - more like the 5cm they talk about. it was sort of cosmic esp as that WAS the day i got my LH surge. It is all as they say!


LH surge yesterday and we DTD yesterday . i'm not sure how long after the LH surge the egg arrives - should we do it several times more?

How do you count your luteal phase? Is the first day the day you ovulate, and the last day the day you menstruate? or is the first day the day after you ovulate, and the last day the day before your period? if the former my luteal phase is 12 days. if the latter, it's only 10. either way it's a bit short.

anyone else out there with a short luteal phase? should i worry?


somewherebecomingrain Sun 22-Jul-12 11:30:07

well done cuckoo - i'm glad the viagra worked. brilliant. there must be ways to put him off the scent IYKWIM

my life story is I got preg and had DS at 36. He was concieved instantly and I was oddly put out by that and felt I wasn't ready. i probably did have PND though never diagnosed. It was really tough. DP not earning much so I've had to be breadwinner. DP also believes there should be a big age gap so we've waited. We were quite influenced by how quick it was to concieve DC 1 so we thought blimey let's make sure we are ready when we go for TTC2.

Now have been trying for about 9 months to conceive - nothing except a two day extended luteal phase the month before last - i think something was going on but never got a BFP.

feeling that i wish we'd started earlier now sad. but this thread is great smile.

cuckoogirl Sun 22-Jul-12 12:36:00

Somewhere, thanks for your story. May I ask your age? I can give you my theory (and Zelda West's) about LH surges. It is believed that ovulation occurs between 24 and 36 hours after your LH surges. It's important to discount the fainter lines on your OPK strip. Tempting though it is to see it as a positive, it will only mess up your mental calculations. Only when the test line is as dark or darker than the control line have you experienced an LH surge. If you buy the cheapie OPKs off the internet you can afford to test up to 3 times per day and hence catch your true surge.

Sex is recommended when the surge is detected and the next day and the day after that. If I get a negative at 3pm and a positive at 8pm I'm pretty much on the money for ovulating between 8pm the following evening and as late as 8am the morning after that. Even then, the egg will survive for between 12 and 24 hours, but if it's only 12 hours you will want plenty of sperm already waiting. This last month, we only managed (due to intense anxiety on DPs part, poor thing) to have sex at 11pm on the day of ovulation. We hadn't managed at all the day before and so I wasn't surprised to find a BFN. I honestly believe I'm in with more of a chance if we've managed sex the day before ovulation and the day before that (especially if there is EWCM to nurture the sperm). After all, who knows what time of day or night the bloody damned egg is actually released? Better to have plenty of sex beforehand, I say, than pin all your hopes on the day itself. Phew! It's a frigging nightmare I reckon, especially if there are anxiety issues leading to erectile dysfunction like my poor DP suffers from around ovulation.

I swear, if the Viagra lets him down this month at the crucial times I will send him to the bedroom with the cup and pipette and tell him not to come out until he's ejaculated. Maybe I'll buy some mucky mags - I don't have the energy, frankly, to dress up as a nurse and keep bending over...

cuckoogirl Sun 22-Jul-12 16:23:17

Somewhere, day 1 of your luteal phase is the first day after ovulation. The last day of your luteal phase is the one before your period starts. The luteal phase length varies from 14-16 days, however many women have one as short as 10 days and have babies no problem. If you feel a short luteal phase is preventing pregnancy your GP can advise you on ways of lengthening it if you decide it is required.

Pocket1 Sun 22-Jul-12 21:00:24


Lots has happened in a week – am trying to keep up…

Somewhere love your ‘brains in tanks’. It is great to be able to talk freely about ttc with others who totally get it.

Hopeful I’m so sorry about your BFN – having had one myself recently, I know just how rubbish they are. The Olympics starts this Friday (27th) and central London is already bonkers busy...

Welome Paula. My circumstances are different so I can’t offer any help as such but its positive that your tests have shown there’s nothing wrong. Has DP been tested? Have you considered acupuncture – I’ve heard it can help…

Tina I’m also using donor eggs (opted this time to find my own donor rather than waiting on the list). Hope you’re lovely donor comes along very soon. x

Knicky wow 5 weeks plus that’s great. IrishMammy Congrats on your BFP. Really great news. smile . Will you go for an early scan?

Gothin never worry about venting, that’s what we’re here for. Hope you’re feeling better now.

MAM so lovely to hear of your scan and it sounds like you’re being well looked after.

Diege ham, egg and chips for me please… and a glass of fizz! And maybe a slice of Cuckoo’s carrot cake too….

MrsWooster congrats on your BFP – wonderful news!

Welcome Cuckoo sorry to hear of your mc, I had a mc this year so I do empathise. Your scan story has made me a bit teary. But you did get pregnant and that is a good sign. I’ve heard lots of positive stuff about acupuncture for ladies ttc and wondered if it might help DP. Its meant to be great for relaxation.

Hello to anyone I’ve missed.

My life story;

I’m 45, DP is 40. We have no kids and decided last year ttc but given our ages opted for a fertility MOT (private £££ as you get nothing on NHS at our age angry). DP is fine but my amh was 0.07, so we were recommended to go for donor eggs. Signed up with a lovely clinic in August, donor found pretty much straight away. Had donor IVF in November, got a BFP but mc at 6 weeks in Jan. Had an erpc in Feb. Had FET in June, BFN. We really want to try again but are back to the drawing board…. I’m still with the same clinic but would have had to join the waiting list again for a donor (and would have been fourth). Not wanting to wait indefinitely, I opted to try and find my own donor. Posted on MN and a couple of other sites. And less than two weeks later I think I’ve found my gorgeous donor. I was so lucky that a few people came forward to offer their help on my posts and within that group of lovely kind ladies, I’ve found someone who’s a good physical match to me…. So we’re in the process of tests and being matched by the clinic. Its early days but so far so good...

May the sun shine all week!

Diege Sun 22-Jul-12 21:13:23

Can I join in the reminiscing about egg whites? I too remember copious amounts of the stuff (hanging off my wrist at one point grin) Now I don't think I ever see it, apart from perhaps a 'glistening' on the tissue. IIRC I didn't have it at all when ds1 and ds2 were conceived (my last 2 conceived late 30's early 40s) so think it can be 'there' without being visible? Obviously did its job anyway! I did think drinking lots of water made a slight difference (something I'd read). I also tried when ttc dc3 actual egg-white blush (another on-line tip) and then worried obsessiverly about catching salmonella all month (I wasn't pregnant). Tried 'pre-seed' too, which was ok, though very ewww...

In terms of luteal phase length, this is something that I was obsessed with when ttc-ing ds2 (number 5 dc). Mine dropped I swear the month of my 40th birthday from 13 days to around 9 days. The 9 days seemed a regular feature so I started taking agnus castus and after 2 months or so it had lengthened to 11 days which I think is ok. The months I conceived dc5 I had also started taking vit b6 (?) which I think is also used to lengthen LP but obviously as got pregnant that month (10 mths trying) I can't judge the latter's potency. I think if I were to ttc again, I would start up the agnus castus for sure. Oddly now that I'm not ttc my LP varies from 14 to 15 days, just to taunt me I'm sure grin. I should say that my gp who is quite knowedgable about such things doesn't believe in the whole LP length problem - she believes (as do others) that if an egg is actually fertilised, there is enough progesterone present to support a pregnancy and the LP becomes a non-issue as the body kicks in to pregnancy mode. I'm not sure if I believe it, but I have read that the jury is out on a short LP (ie, shorter than 10 days?) actually being an issue at all in terms of getting and staying pregnant.

Oh and my potted history...I have 5 dcs, dd1 conceived when I was 3 hrs late with the mini pill shock (age 30), dd2 first month trying (age 31), dd3 (age36) 5 months, mmc at 10 weeks age 39, ds1 4 months (age 39), ds 2 (age 41) 10 months trying, with one early mc (7 weeks) and one chemical pregnancy along the way.
Good to read everyone's stories on here - agree, it's a lovely safe, and very informative space in which to chat!

AngelGeorgie Sun 22-Jul-12 21:54:53

Cuckwhogirl you can borrow my work uniform if u desire ( I m a real life specialist sister: nurse!!) however, if your hubby gets off on that I m afraid to say he's a bit odd!!! wink funnily enough Ant's never asked me to wear it !!!!
My potted story : ttc for 4 years in total started at 36 1 MMC at 12 weeks, 1 MC at 8 weeks then the heart breaking loss of my DD at 41 weeks : Georgie stillborn on 10/10/10. Finally after all the heartbreak our true rainbow baby ; Phoebe born 18/10/11. A true angel... Now enjoying not being pg for the first time in 4 years or ttc. Enjoying life again ; holidaying, loosing weight & living.... Bliss..,
I used the cb ovulation tests found them fab know they re pricey but I discovered I was ovulating early (cd10/11) do a big help to me!!!
Hi Diege xxx hope Samuel's ok? Any teeth yet? Phebs none yet!!!
Love to all & all the luck in the world xxxxx

catdoctor Sun 22-Jul-12 21:55:04

Hell, I'm new, havn't had a chance yet to read about you all but just checking in from the TTC while breastfeeding thread. Will indulge myself soon.

I'm 44, never had to TTc before as DS an 'accident' when I was 41 (born when I was 42) so I'm hoping to learn lots from you guys.

DS just turned 2, I'm just enjoying (yes really) my second AF since Oct '09; ovulated twice and luteal phases 11 and 9 days according to fertility friend - that's good, right?!

Back soon!

AngelGeorgie Sun 22-Jul-12 21:56:07

Oops sorry for mis spelt name!!!! Crappy I phone

hopefulgum Mon 23-Jul-12 00:00:54

Lovely reading all the life stories. It helps to get know you all a little bit more.

Cuckoo, I'm glad the viagra works. I reckon it will still work at O time - I'd be surprised if it didn't. I can understand how frustrating this is for you. I can remember my DH having trouble "performing" at the crucial time when we were ttc DS, obviously the pressure was just too much, and it wasn't his fault, but wow, I felt so upset by the thought we might miss the fertile window.

As for keeping my cycle a secret, it is fairly easy on the one hand , as DH doesn't take an interest, and when I have AF, I just make other excuses about why I'm not in the mood(and AF only lasts 3 days). But, on the other hand, it does mean I can't suddenly want to shag twice a day for 4 days running at O time. I've had to resolve that by being very relaxed about sex around O time, like last month, only managed it on one day during the fertile time. And the rest of the time I just DTD as regularly as time/energy/life allows.So I use opk's and make sure I get a shag or two in there around O time, and if it falls on the weekend, I might manage a few extras.

Welcome Catdoctor, I hope your ttc journey isn't too long - you'll find a wealth of information and friendship here.

I had a lovely evening out yesterday. I think I might have had about 5 glasses of wine, but don't feel any the worse for it. I've been staying away from wine alot since ttc, but as I've been trying for so long I've decided to have a drink here and there because I need to live my life without ttc hanging over me all the time. I figure it won't be too damaging as it happens so seldom.

Off to work this morning, which isn't easy, mainly because DS seems to be experiencing a new form of separation anxiety (at the age of almost 4) and puts on a great show of being heart-broken every time I go somewhere without him. It's really starting to bother me as it happens every time. I wish he'd stop it, but nothing seems to calm himsadI hope it improves soon, it's making my nerves all jangly!(I know, that's not a real word but couldn't think of one that fitssmile) I'd love some advice if anyone has some. I may have to search it on mumsnet, but really must dash and get dressed for work...

blackcatsdancing Mon 23-Jul-12 08:06:22

catdoctor welcome. Just one thing to note. your luteal phase sounds a bit short so you might want to look into lengthening it a bit.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 23-Jul-12 09:52:02

thank you for the detailed answers diege will check out agnus castus thingy and vit b12 and also dr google on luteal lengthening.
cuckoo you are v helpful indeed. i agree about the nurse outfit [laughs] (see below) it does get tiring!

me and DP have DTD 4 times in the run up to ovulation and just felt we'd done enough. so i could be ovulating now but just can't motivate myself . we did do it the day of the LH surge.

i am telling myself it doesn't mean we're less likely to conceive, it just means we're more likely to have a girl.

but maybe i should get that nurses outfit on (we're both at home we work from home).


cuckoogirl Mon 23-Jul-12 13:06:11

Crumbs. The heartbreak on these pages. AngelGeorgie I am so sorry for your loss. I simply cannot imagine. What a glorious gift Phoebe must be! Thank you for sharing your story. On a lighter note, I've decided against a nursing outfit. I am a golf widow (this weekend has been utter, utter tedium) and so have decided to dress in tweed pantaloons, a flat cap, harlequin knee socks and offer to 'tee him off' (oo-er).

Hopeful, keep enjoying a drink; alkies and druggies get preggo all the time. Sorry I can't offer any advice about your DCs 'attachment' issues - my mum just used to ignore me if I was freaking out with trails of snot hanging out of my nose (and it worked). If I carried on with my histrionics I'd get a slap (and that definitely worked) Can't do stuff like that anymore, though, I guess! I'm going to try your method of disguising when AF has arrived. My period is light (ish) and brief (ish) so I reckon it's do-able.

Welcome, catdoctor, hope you have success soon..

Diege, spat my tea out twice reading your post. First, when I had visions of EWCM hanging off your wrist and second, when I was reading about your children and mistook 30, 31 and 36 as their ages! I thought 'bloody hell! How old is this woman!? And she might want ANOTHER?!?' Ha! Ha! Thanks for telling us about your lovely family.

Pocket, your story nearly had me in tears, too. To MC after your donor IVF must have felt like a whole bag of shit. I'm so sorry. BUT...! All these wonderful ladies who've stepped forward! How wondrous - and exciting. I hope you have a whole sack of success there (and I hope the same for you, too, Tina). Pocket, what is a FET, please?

Well, I'm only on cycle day 5. I can't stand this boring fortnight before ovulation. Sex feels wasteful and boring because there is no chance of getting pregnant from it; I start worrying that I should be halting my excercise regime (I'm a gym freak) around ovulation in case I dislodge any sperm and then I worry post-ovulation in case I'm dislodging a potential embryo. Tsk! I'm sick of waiting/fretting/waiting...
I started going to the gym seriously after my miscarriage (my philosophy was if Im not going to be pregnant this year I'll fecking-well be thin). I gained 1.5 stone during the pregnancy thanks to having given up smoking and I can't seem to shift it (we made love on the dining table last week to try to spice things up ready for ovulation but all I could focus on was my back-fat slurping against the waxed pine). I must go; I'm dropping carrot cake crumbs all over the keyboard...

gothinrecovery Mon 23-Jul-12 13:53:41

It was me that asked about the EWCM - I usually get it on about CD 10 so am wondering if i actually ov a couple of days before I think I do. Usually have a standard 28 day cycle and don't temp or use OPK's as am trying not to get too fixated by it.

Feeling a bit better now after a nice weekend (too much wine but oh well)

Probably only going to drop in and out of here as am trying to ensure I think about other things, but it is good to hear the positive stories. I'm not too old, just need to believe that.

Pocket1 Mon 23-Jul-12 18:07:27

So many emotional stories. sad but I am so thankful for all your kind words and support grin

FET is frozen embryo transfer. Btw we had three frosties. One didn't make the thaw. Two did and we put them both in. But nada. sad

Fx this is the year it all comes together for all of us. gringringrin

somewherebecomingrain Mon 23-Jul-12 18:34:00

hopefulgum your sex life sounds great.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 23-Jul-12 18:36:44

cuckoo i agree that if not pregnant be thin - thus i'm low-carbing. it's working but my tip is take it carefully - some can tolerate very low or no carbs but if you're not one of those people that can make you feel ill or mental in which case all you need to do is nudge your intake down a bit. i am in the latter category and despite only having one low carb meal a day i have had to blow out on choccy croissant today as i felt so wierd. it actually makes exercise less necessary tho i love exercise x

somewherebecomingrain Mon 23-Jul-12 18:37:10

and i use thin in the loosest possible sense

cuckoogirl Mon 23-Jul-12 20:45:39

Pocket, can I ask, when you say they 'put them in' do they actually imlant the embryos for you or do they just plonk them somewhere in the uterus/fallopian tubes and hope they implant themselves? Sorry to sound ignorant. I wish you all the luck in the world with your soon-to-be-found donor egg(s).

Somewhere, I've managed to cut out carbs ALOT: I can't honestly remember the last time I ate a slice of bread or a potato; I've reduced the amount of brown basmati rice I eat and replaced it with quinoa (bor-ring!); and I resolutely refuse to eat pasta anymore - not even wholewheat. My problem is this: I absolutely refuse to give up chocolate. I don't eat crisps or cake (except my own carrot cake which is bloody divine) or drink alcohol. But chocolate I will not give up and I am known to eat four bars a day. I also lead a very sedentary lifestyle. Apart from going to the gym sometimes twice a day I sit on my arse permanently (I'm a freelance editor) and only move to go to the toilet or to put the kettle on. For the last 2½ weeks I've been resting my achilles as I developed tendonitis due to over-exercise - in my quest to lose weight I would go straight from kettle bell class to a four-mile run and then on to an hour's Body pump. If I went circuit training I'd follow that with Body Pump again. It sounds alot...but I really do sit here, day after day, typing and eating chocolate and drinking brews.

I've been wondering today, after talking to my lovely Asian taxi driver (I don't always take taxis - just since I've knackered my achilles) why it is that ladies from his culture seem to effortlessly conceive and have babies well into their late forties. His sister-in-law has just given birth at 47 and his own wife had her last baby at 48 (he says they may have another yet!) He tells me that so many Asian women have babies late that it's simply not seen as a phenomenon and he can't understand why I'm even concerned about turning 41 soon - he says I am young! Has anyone else pondered this about certain cultures? Is it maybe because many of these ladies at 40-plus don't work and hence have less stress in their lives?

Pocket1 Mon 23-Jul-12 20:52:02
somewherebecomingrain Mon 23-Jul-12 21:03:03

cuckoo that is intriguing re asian women's fertility - asian women are so marvellous in so many ways it wouldn't surprise me. i am not totally sure i believe it am gonna google it. but national variation in age-related infertility sounds entirely plausible.

so you are well progressed on the carbs then. has the magic of it worn off or does it still help you control your weight? i am enjoying saving myself up for the carbs i really like eg today's choccy croissant. but still need my pasta and potatoes or go mad and can't sleep. others i know can go much further.

sorry about your tendon, hope it gets better soon.

cuckoogirl Mon 23-Jul-12 21:30:25

Pocket, thanks for that - will read it after I've watched AbFab and made a brew

Somewhere, I'm not entirely sure how much 'magic' has been wrought having reduced my carbs due to the heinous amount of chocolate I eat; the weight is coming off grindingly slowly - much more slowly than all this exercise should dictate. Neither can I accurately measure any downward spiral of sanity thanks to being in a more-or-less permanent state of dubious mentality (hence the name 'cuckoo'). I am naturally quite mad/highly-strung/anxious/highly alert and so would not notice the effects of certain foods, I am sure. I can only tell you that, without exception, I would happily kill anyone who refused me chocolate.

cuckoogirl Mon 23-Jul-12 21:42:01

Pocket, just read your link - very interesting. Two things: why can only two embryos be transferred if the eggs were donated meaning the donor was under 35? Also, I noticed they recommend 'leading a gentle lifestyle' after the FET; does this mean any potential babies of mine are at risk in the two weeks after ovulation when I'm thrashing around at the gym?? hmm

hopefulgum Tue 24-Jul-12 00:08:21

Cuckoo, your little anecdote about shagging on the table with back fat slurping made me spit out my tea!!!Such a funny mental image. I love that you are making good use of all furniture. Someone said something about my sexlife - my Dh would put you straight and tell you he's not getting nearly enough. And, we've not done anything remotely interesting in that department for years - it's always in a bed- usually ours. When we tried to shag at his sister's house, whilst the rest of the family were having breakfast in the next room(our door was closed)he just couldn't, ahem, perform...shock

I too am trying low carb - but I'm into Paleo/Primal eating which doesn't concentrate on low carb, but rather is all about eating the right fats, leaving out grain and sugar. I'm not good at leaving sugar alone. I still eat chocolate too, and if I'm out with friends will have a dessert. But overall, feel so much better than before, and what's spurred me on is reading all about heightened fertility on this diet. I've heard of women reversing menopause by eating a Paleo style diet. I also like it because it is supposed to help sort out "inflammation" issues, which I think I have as I had an increased ANA reading, which means it is likely I'll get an autoimmune disease. But if I can keep my body from being inflamed, I can keep it at bay. Inflammation is also a factor in miscarriage, but that's so complicated, I could never explain it. I read that book, "Is your body baby friendly" by Dr Beer (I think that's his name, can't recall right now) and it said a lot about it.

As for the Asian women, I wonder if it is because their culture doesn't dictate that we should feel completely dried up and barren once we've passed our use-by date at age 35, as is the case in Western culture. My Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner,says that in Chinese traditional medicine they believe a woman is fertile til her 49th birthday, so long as she is healthy. I keep going to acupuncture, feeling it may help. It also leaves me feeling very,very relaxed.

It's time to get ready for work, so must run. Teaching cooking to nasty year eights today, can't waithmm

Pocket1 Tue 24-Jul-12 07:57:27

Cuckoo I've been told to take it easy at the gym in the run up to and after ivf (no running or x trainer. Or weights. Essentially just walking). Tbh I have done that both times and who knows how much difference it really makes given all those ladies out there getting BFP whilst doing all he things were told not to !?!

Are you ivf? Sorry cant remember!?!

somewherebecomingrain Tue 24-Jul-12 08:41:14

anyone asian on this thread can corroborate?
hopeful that's funny and sweet - he's a good performer usually then (i feel like we're talking about racehorses.
also good news about the paleo! i can take or leave chocolate - i'm unusual like that - but i can't take or leave carbs or i go bonkers. but i am going to persist with my 'carbnudge' diet esp if it makes me more fertile. i do think it does all sorts of great things for the skin and the energy but my brain won't let me do too much of it.
cuckoo i like it - if that's why you can provide us with all this forensic detail on conception then long may it reign. props to your courage as well.

cuckoogirl Tue 24-Jul-12 11:47:04

Pocket, I'm not IVF. I had a miscarriage (missed) in March and nothing since so last week we saw a gynae consultant who has agreed to scan me, test DPs sperm and analyse my bloods from days 2 & 21 of my cycle. I think DP will be fine as he already has a child and he got me pregnant this year. Me, on the other hand...who knows? Can someone please tell me what results I am looking for from my day 2 bloods?

Hopeful, interesting what you suggested about our Asian sisterhood. They really do seem to 'just get on with it', don't they? I'll bet they're massively under-represented on these kinds of threads - or even on Mumsnet at all. Their familial support systems are peerless and they probably put alot of faith in the power of Allah. Maybe they have tons of sex, too? Maybe there's a certain duty around marital sex so they're always at it? I'm only surmising and I certainly hope I'm not coming across as racist. I will ask more pertinent and personal questions next time I see Charlie, the Asian taxi driver. He promised to give my DP some kind of food substance they use in cooking in their culture (he woas very reticent when asked to name this mystical stuff - all very cloak and dagger; I could barely keep from chortling in the back seat but DP was most agog) which thickens his sperm!! Can't bloody wait to see what he comes up with..

cuckoogirl Tue 24-Jul-12 16:19:09

I'm sat here waiting for an acquaintance to turn up for a visit. I can't be arsed. She wants a chippy tea from our world famous(?) chippy here in the village. I do not. I'm not in a very good mood, in fact. Oh well...mustn't be ungrateful...

TinaO99 Tue 24-Jul-12 17:08:19

just popped in to say OMG the clinic just rang us up and told us we're top of the list for a donor already!! Blimey we only joined up a month ago! Apparently they've had an influx of altruistic donors and people who were on the list ahead of us are wanting to wait due to holidays etc

I haven't said no but I did want a little more time to save a bit more money but as most of it is having to go on a card i guess it doesn't make much difference - I could potentially be expecting within the next few months!

I'm a little scared but also very excited! Italian hope you don't mind my asking you for any tips or preparation you undertook before your treatment? Please feel free to keep quiet as I don't want to upset you sad

somewherebecomingrain Tue 24-Jul-12 17:54:50

go for it tina xxx

Pocket1 Tue 24-Jul-12 18:42:10

Wow Tina that's great. Mind me asking which clinic you're with? (don't answer if you don't want to).

Btw I've had donor ivf so ask away if there's anything you want to know. smile

cuckoogirl Tue 24-Jul-12 19:35:34

Fantastic news, Tina! How eggs-citing (sorry!) x

TinaO99 Tue 24-Jul-12 23:53:04

thanks ladies! pocket its the care clinic in nottingham. and Id be interested to know what preparations you did if any (diet etc) and did you take time off work after the transfer?

AngelGeorgie Wed 25-Jul-12 14:54:37

Tina good luck xxxxwink

knickyknocks Wed 25-Jul-12 15:43:17

Brilliant news Tina! Great that things are moving faster than you thought they would.

I went for an early reassurance scan today and saw a heartbeat, I'm now 6 weeks 3 days. Had a bit of a cry when I saw it and just crossing fingers little beanie holds on. Have had dreadful nausea in the past few days, followed by the vomiting starting yesterday. Saw my GP yesterday who's happy to sign me off work and has given me some anti-emetics, as I was awful with DD. Still coming into work at the mo, so can't be that bad yet. Seeing the scan today has given me a real positive boost. I'm thinking of all you ladies TTC, and hoping that BFPs are on their way to you all. Much love and hugs xxxxx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 25-Jul-12 17:10:21

great news knicky crossing fingers for you big time [slight tear at loveliness].
i'm on 2ww now. DP is looking at me like, where has all the romance gone?

cuckoogirl Wed 25-Jul-12 19:00:31

knickyknocks, you must be quietly delighted. So very happy for you and hoping your nausea subsides. If I ever get pregnant again, I hope and pray I will feel as sick as a dog; before I miscarried I had no nausea whatsoever for the whole twelve weeks and I never thought this was normal.

Well, after editing (for this read 'basically rewriting') an appallingly-written PhD paper today which, enthrallingly, conceptualised research methodologies in the hunt for the Higgs bosun, I didn't think my afternoon could get any duller. Cue 90 minutes of Olympic women's football courtesy of the DP who happened to be home for the afternoon. I swear, if this were the eighteenth century and boredom were a crime, I would currently be strapped to a torturer's slab on a gallows in a twee market town being disembowelled with a large iron hook whilst having rotten cabbages thrown at my shaven head with only decapitation to look forward to...

Somewhere, laughed at your 'where has all the romance gone?'. When I say 'laughed' it was through gritted teeth as I am awaiting Sunday when DP & I will begin this month's baby-making attempts (I want SWI to take place Sun, Mon, Tues and Weds - day of ov). I am nervous about it. I hope DP's performance anxieties are battered into submission by a beast mightier than us all...Viagra. I don't envy your 2ww, somewhere; I'm horribly obsessive around that time. Are you charting your morning temps? I'm charting as from tomorrow, which is CD9. I no longer bother setting my alarm to temp for the first eight days of my cycle - what's the bloody point? I actually wish I had the discipline to stay away from my chart after ovulation; scrutinizing every little dip and rise can be soul-destroying. I will only be hopeful this month if I get a good three days' worth of sperm inside me with the final amount being the morning of ovulation. Then, maybe...I'll allow myself to hope....

Pocket1 Wed 25-Jul-12 19:01:21

Wow really great news am so pleased. smile

Somewhere that's made me laugh. Bless DP! Hope you have a peaceful 2ww. Bring on that BFP.

Tina an amalgamation of all the advice I've had/followed-ish is... Good diet, no fatty/fried stuff, lots of fruit and veg (soft fruits organic, don't bother with anything you peel), organic meat and dairy where poss, lots of water (aim for 2 litres per day - maybe a bit more in the heat). Not too much exercise particularly high impact, no running, x trainer or weights - that pretty much only leaves swimming and walking! I was also told to increase my protein by 50% for each meal (but I don't think I was having enough to start with, so maybe that's more about just making sure you have a decent amount of protein with every meal). Reduce stress (crazy but true!) - I found he zita west relaxation cd good. Oh and obviously folic acid. If I think of anything else I will repost.

I took transfer day plus two weeks off work (was lucky to have holiday time available). I will be honest, I had too much time on my hands and drove myself crazy symptom spotting - also its quite boring just resting all day for two weeks. Next time I will probably take just a week after transfer - they certainly do recommend rest for a few days after. and with legs in the air to get blood flow to uterus.

Accupuncture is also supposed to help. I has it for my second round (bfn) but not my first round (bfn them mc). Will probably do it again next time

Does that help?

Just ask if there's anything else x

AngelGeorgie Wed 25-Jul-12 22:29:26

Congrats Knicky xxx

hopefulgum Thu 26-Jul-12 00:02:44

Knicky - that's lovely, lovely news!

I've been busy starting to organise our trip to Lombok, which feels exciting. I think I need something to look forward to.

I'm seriously considering giving up ttc. Last night my DH said a few things which makes me feel that the desire for a baby is selfish and could damage our relationship. I wasn't really aware that he is "worried" that I'm still hoping for a baby,and he feels it would just be too much for him and our family. He's probably right. There's all sorts of reasons why I should just get over the desire and move on.

So I think I'm going to take the first step toward TTA(trying to avoid pregnancy), which seems so stupid after all this time TTC, but I think it is probably the best path for us.

Anyway, I'll still be around to keep an eye on everyone. It's such a supportive place to be and has kept me sane for the last couple of years.

I feel okay about it right now, but who knows how long that will last? Come ovulation time I'll be chaffing at the bit to get up-duffed...confused

sparklysapphire Thu 26-Jul-12 01:57:00

Knicky that's great news, I hope the nausea means that your little bean is causing lots of hormonal changes that ensures it's staying put. And also that the anti-emetics work quickly.
Wow tina, top of the donor list already, how exciting. And pocket, sounds like you're making good progress with a donor too.
Hopeful, please do stick around, and we'll be here if/when you change your mind smile
Thanks for all that interesting information cuckoo. I'm hoping I may be able to order a thermometer tomorrow when our house is no longer occupied by nosey curious grandmothers. We do need them to help with the childcare but as they both live a long way away, they have to come and stay for a several days at a time every few weeks, which can be a bit trying all round. DH is now away again having been back for 2 nights, DTD both evenings (I have carpet burns wink!) but probably too early, and when he's back next week it'll be too late. But we've done what we can. I'm also going with the "if not pregnant, thin" mode, though the thin is as elusive as the pregnant. At least today I was able to buy size 14 clothes for the 1st time since DD was born smile and I'm almost officially not overweight. I definitely couldn't give up carbs though.

Brief life story is that I got pregnant fairly quickly at 39, following m/c previous year, though for various reasons we had to wait to TTC again after m/c. DH never really wanted kids, though had agreed we could have one, but was depressed throughout my pregnancy, & tho he has great relationship with DD, I was sure he wouldn't agree to try again, so I kept putting off discussion. So I was astonished when he agreed to give it a go, possibly because I told him the odds were low, but now I'm 44 and really worried it's too late, and DD was the result of my last good egg. But I know compared to many of you lovely, strong, brave ladies on here, I've had it really easy.

hi to all I haven't mentioned, and apologies for poor punctuation/spelling/rambling. It was meant to be a short post....

somewherebecomingrain Thu 26-Jul-12 08:26:36

yes knicky - nausea is marvellous! smile.
cuckoo Sorry - I totally appreciate the emotions that must be running through your love life. I think not telling might be good - i now remember that's what that person I mentioned did TTC number 2. She'd had a MMC and a couple of other miscarriages and even though she'd had one DC it was so big emotionally - and people underestimate it - that for DC2 she secretly did OPK and then just got preg - at 42 if that's nice to know. I'm rooting for you and I that the big beast gives you a fantastic ride this month - let us know how it goes xx

somewherebecomingrain Thu 26-Jul-12 15:38:47

sore breasts cd22. 5dpo. ???? are my nipples sore? i like to think so. hmm
had sore breasts on cd22 last 2 cycles.
pssparkly your post isn't too long xxx

cuckoogirl Fri 27-Jul-12 12:08:02

Hopeful...Lombok...where's that? Sounds exotic and fabulous envy!

I have been reading back on this thread for as far back as is humanly possible in one go without going a bit loopy and I have to say, hopeful, I really don't want you to give up trying to conceive. I know you've been touched by your husband's recent remarks (he sounds lovely, by-the-way) and you're sick to the back teeth of MCs and CPs so I don't say this lightly after reading your highs and lows: please don't give up. I believe it will happen for you. How does a woman, who has invested so much emotionally and psychologically into her quest for a last child, and who is still ovulating, learn to 'avoid conceiving'? I would imagine that, in itself, could be emotionally exhausting and torturous? I imagine, for all of us trying to conceive over 40, that the reality is that we are forever (or until menopause strikes) hard-wired to yearn to make the most of our monthly fertile window whilst we have the chance - and then grieve and gnash our teeth if that month has proved fruitless. That's just what we do, isn't it? I suspect that when you say you're considering giving up TTC you're attempting to give yourself that 'permission' that any woman would need in order to completely turn upside down that yearning for a baby and channel that energy elsewhere? I'm just not sure we can happily do that. I hope you succeed in finding peace with 'all this', but don't beat yourself up if you keep changing your mind, will you? I can feel from reading far back in your posts that it's all getting just a bit too much for you and I really can sympathise with you - honest. You're 46 in November? Why not wait until then...wink

I guess I'm just being selfish because I like reading your posts. long have you been trying for this last baby?

Sparkly, thanks for your story - I hope you fall pregnant the thermometer!

Somewhere, thank you for your kind 6 today? How are you feeling?

DP asked me today which day next week I am ovulating. When I told him Wednesday he replied: "Right, well, we'll be having sex Monday, Tuesday and early Wednesday morning. Maybe even twice on Wednesday" (bless him..we had another 'trial run' with the Viagra last night and he's feeling very buoyant and ready to go, now). So, until then, I am twiddling my thumbs. There is a dearth of work for me just at the moment so yesterday I took myself off fishing and caught two tiddlers. The main thing is, it took me away from my office at home and I spent three hours thinking of nothing but depth-plungers, line weights and toilet roll (I was desperate for a poo). It was lovely.

Thinking of you all..

jollster Fri 27-Jul-12 15:27:22

<pops head in>

Been AWOL for ages, and notice lots of new names which is fabulous... yay to the 40+ thread.

Haven't read back too far but a big thumbs up to Knicky and Tina - all sounding promising. A special squeeze for Gum.

I'm now 30 weeks, all measuring fine, looking normal and dull. For newbies, I was 44 in Feb, and have a DS who is 4. Started TTC in June 09, and had 3 MMCs around 12 weeks and 2 early MCs. Had all the recurrent MC tests and nothing amiss. Took DHEA (75mg/day) after recommendation for 8 months starting April 11 and got a BFP in Jan 12. Feel grateful and blessed, but just want to say it is possible.

Best wishes to all of you on your TTC journey.

flapjack69 Fri 27-Jul-12 17:59:51

Hello. I wanted to add some encouragement too. After very busy life building career (mostly to please parents), I decided to jack it all in and start family. Came off the pill after 20+ yrs. Practice nurse says to use condoms for 1st 2 months – wrong! Should have used the massive hormone surge that ensued. Started ttc Jan ‘12. AF arrived, but why? We had unprotected sex didn’t we?! Same again in Feb. Not impressed. I discover Mumsnet. Apparently women over 35 are rather old for this. Might be too late. Panic. Go to Wessex Clinic for ADH test. Result “less than 1, very low even for your age so chances of conception extremely low even with IVF”. Consult Mumsnet again. Visit clinic in London well known for alternative therapies. Lady reads notes and says, “OK, so it’s IVF with donor eggs or adoption then”. She’s very pushy (“must book IVF asap”) and won’t listen when we say no, we want to try naturally. I’m very upset. I arrange HyCoSy at Wessex. Horrible but worth it – everything is clear and there are 5+ follicles clearly visible on each side. April - start acupuncture with lady with special interest in fertility. She wants me to temp. Prescribes vits & herbs (L-Arginine, Selenium, Royal Jelly, B Complex, Cordyceps). She orders blood tests with GP – day 3 and day 21. All OK. Probably a short luteal phase. She works on this (& sorts out hayfever and tennis elbow!). I feel fab. Temping & EWCM vital to pinpointing ovulation. July ‘12 – BFP. I think the acupuncture made the difference, and possibly the vits & herbs, but wouldn’t underestimate the benefits of good news (test results) and the dis-benefits of stress. I wish you all the very best of luck.

flapjack69 Fri 27-Jul-12 18:01:01

Forgot to say, I'm nearly 43.

Irishmammybread Fri 27-Jul-12 19:08:14

Hello everyone!

jollster, we've met before on a different thread, glad to hear your pregnancy is going well.

I've had a very stressful day, been having a bit of cramping and then woke this morning without feeling sick and convinced myself my pregnancy symptoms had disappeared and my stomach was flatter than yesterday.
I phoned the EPAU and they were quite dismissive and said as I wasn't bleeding it wasn't an emergency. We're going over to Ireland tomorrow for a week and I really didn't want to travel without some reassurance so I did some internet research and found a private clinic an hours drive away who had an appointment free.
They did a transabdominal scan and there was a little blob with a definite heartbeat measuring 6w6d (I'm 7 weeks ),in my uterus, so that was a huge relief . The sonographer then said there also looked like a gestational sac by my ovary but as it wasn't a diagnostic scan she couldn't do a transvaginal scan or give me any more information and I should get checked out at hospital asap in case there was an ectopic twin. Off I headed to the hospital to find the EPAU was closed and all the staff in a meeting so I was directed to the gynae ward.
A doctor looked at the printout images of my ovary which I'd been given to bring with the referral letter and said it just looked like the Corpus Luteum though he didn't suggest any further scanning today.I go back for a scan on 6th Aug.

I know statistically my chances of miscarriage are decreased if there's a heartbeat on the scan though the sonographer couldn't check the heart rate.
Then I see all the statistics for increased risks over 40( let alone 44!) so I start to worry all over again. My first miscarriage was at 11 weeks but I suppose the baby could have stopped developing earlier ,I'd not had a scan before I lost it. At least I've got past the 6 week stage when I lost the last one.
I think I need to try not to think about it all so much, at least being away will be a distraction!

hopefulgum Fri 27-Jul-12 23:59:10

Irishmammy, I'm sorry you are worrying, but its par for the course,isn't it, it's just so hard not to worry? But you've had a healthy heartbeat and a baby measuring right on date, so you should try to relax and enjoy your week in Ireland. For today you ARE

Cuckoo, thanks for your lovely words. Your are a champion if you went back and read the thread, blimey, that would have taken some time!

I've been wanting to ttc since my son was 10 months old, but had to wait til he was about 18 months when I started ovulating again (when I breastfeed I don't have my fertility return for 18 months to 2 years).He will be 4 at the end of August, so it has been a long time - over two years. It feels like, at some point, I have to stop wishing, hoping and longing for a baby, because it isn't healthy to keep doing all this. And it isn't easy ttc with an unwilling partner. I would love it if I could anticipate a joyful response from DH when I announce to him that I'm pregnant, but I already know his response would be nothing like that. So having a reluctant partner makes it feel lonely. And when I did miscarry our relationship was affected, and not for the best. The first miscarriage, he told me he was relieved, because he didn't want a baby at the time. The second miscarriage he was supportive, but told me he didn't want to try again. I've just kept on ttc because he wouldn't do anything about contraception, and I told him I still wanted a baby and wouldn't use contraception.

Recently, in a stressful moment, he told me we had too many children, which is causing all the stress. It wasn't at all, it was just a rushed, difficult time of the day, getting ready for work.But those words hurt, and made me think I'm being very, very, selfish in this quest for a baby because it will affect everyone else in the family too.

My DH had performance issues when we were DTD the other night, and when I quizzed him, he said he wasn't sure why, but he was worried that I was ttc. I didn't refute it, but I told him that the chances of conceiving were very low and that I've almost given up completely on the idea.We haven't discussed it again.

After that conversation,I just felt so sad, that it was coming between us, and that I can't have what I want. I've always felt it was the right thing to do, that our whole family would benefit from the joy that a baby brings, but the way he sees it is that a baby will just bring financial woes, exhaustion and a few more years before we are free. And I guess it isn't fair if I keep trying when he feels that way.

I've always felt DH would be okay by the time the baby arrived, he would accept it and the actual child would bring him happiness. I also have felt, the whole time, that a baby wants to come to us and I should leave the door open(so to speak) to allow the baby to come in. I guess, in some way I also think, if it's going to happen it will, whether we try to avoid pregnancy or not.
I am confused about all of this, and feel I might be in a transitional stage.I guess I'll just take one day at a time,and see what happens.confused

Flapjack, thanks for sharing your good news. All the best for your pregnancy.

Deige, if you're around (or did you go away this weekend?),and opening the Bistro, I'll have a Beef Wellington, with all the trimmings, and follow that with a zesty lemon tart and vanilla bean ice-cream. Yum!

hopefulgum Sat 28-Jul-12 00:03:02

p.s. Cuckoo, Lombok is a lovely little island near Bali, but not as commercial and busy as Bali.
Here's a link to where we are going:

cuckoogirl Sat 28-Jul-12 10:33:23

Jollster, thank you for sharing your story - what a tough, tough time you've had - and what a result! Congratulations. What is DHEA, please?

Flapjacks, thanks, too, for your share. How unbelievable! To be rushed towards the IVF process after being told your chances of conception were really low (what's an ADH test?) only to find that there was nothing wrong! Fantastic news but also scary that the 'professionals' can be so wrong. (What's a HyCoSy, please?)

Irish, try your very best to relax for the sake of your baby - difficult, I know, with the doom-laden statistics. I wish you all the very best.

Hopeful.....are you for real??! Those villas look simply gorgeous; I was literally dribbling over the keyboard. When would you be going? You said this was a family holiday; do you mean extended family, too (it sounded like you were the head of a wider project here)?'ve been trying for this baby since you were 44? I have to say, I can't imagine the shittiness of ttc for two years - which is basically what I'm facing, if not longer. Who knows which of us on these threads will get lucky and have a baby? How many miscarriages/chemical pregnancies do we have to face before we say 'no more'? I've only been ttc since December 2011 (4 months since MMC) and it feels forever. I'm 41 at the end of August and feel slightly more panicked than I did late last year. Moreover, I can't shake the belief that I've probably got at least another miscarriage in me. I simply don't have the time to recover from the damn things if this last MMC is anything to go by. I don't have six months at a time to spare after miscarriages (it doesn't look like I'm one of those women who's ultra fertile after a MC). Some days I have a really strong feeling that I will never have a child. I certainly don't feel the way you do, that there's a baby waiting to come to me. That must be a beautiful feeling.

One last thing: I firmly believe we know our husbands/partners better than they know themselves wink

cuckoogirl Sat 28-Jul-12 10:36:30

Can someone please tell me what results I'm looking for from my CD2 blood test? I'm not sure what they were testing. Thanks.

flapjack69 Sat 28-Jul-12 17:02:29

cuckoo - so sorry, amh not adh (no, not a typo, just birdbrain-ness on my part!). It's the egg reserve test. I have read on mumsnet that the result can change from one cycle to another but I don't know if that's true.

HyCoSy is where they put a narrow tube into the uterus via the cervix. They blow up a balloon inside to seal the entrance and then put some slightly sugary liquid in via the tube. They then put in what I saw delicately described (ahem) as a dildocam (vaginal scanner thing) which didn't hurt at all. They are looking to see if the liquid spills out of the other end of your tubes (if so then they're clear, if not then there's a blockage which they say they can sometimes clear if it's not too stuck). They can also look for cysts, polyps and fibroids; at the general state of the ovaries; the thickness of the womb lining; and see if there are any follicles. I found the tube insertion incredibly painful and the removal quite painful too, but it was fine while it was in. And so worth it to know there was nothing wrong. They ask you to have it before CD 5, partly so you can't be pregnant but they also said that quite a few women conceive in the month they have it because the sperm seem to like the sugar and it energises them!

As for the professionals, the clinic in London behaved badly I feel, and they weren't cheap. My GP warned me off clinics because he said they're always happy to exploit your situation and take your money. I can see his viewpoint but I wouldn't agree in the case of the Wessex Clinic - they did not suggest any alternative therapies, but they did suggest trying Clomid alongside natural conception for a few months before resorting to IVF, and thought my own eggs could work. I also wonder what choice he (GP) thinks we older ladies have when we're too old for NHS treatment.

CD2 tests: not sure exactly but mine included thyroid, full blood count, FSH, Luteinising Hormone and Prolactin (which helps milk production later but if it's too high you can't conceive). There were 5 phials of blood.

Sorry that was a bit longwinded.

cuckoogirl Sat 28-Jul-12 20:22:14

Flapjack, thank you for all that information. Can I have my egg reserve checked on the NHS? (Actually, I'm assuming not). Same for the HyCoSy...which sounds like a great check-up of the lady-bits - very thorough. Thanks again for responding; it certainly was not long-winded smile

flapjack69 Sat 28-Jul-12 21:01:42

cuckoo you're very welcome. Having googled the day 2 tests, it seems to suggest that the AMH is one of those. I think ask your GP - I reckon they might do it. Mine was very happy to do as many blood tests as he could think of and, because my cycle had been erratic, he just said keep booking in for day 21 tests (or in my case day 19 as it needs to be 7 days before AF) until we get one that ends up on the correct CD. He never said what the tests were, and just said, "Everything is within the normal range" when he rang with the results.

Our local NHS hospital doesn't do HyCoSy but does something else ("similar but not as sophisticated") called HSG and I think that's available to anybody under the health trust's qualifying age e.g. Dorset patients must be under 35, Somerset under 39, in the same hospital! So you could be lucky. I think I paid about £350. As I said in my first post, I think the acupuncture helped enormously, not least by chilling me out!

hopefulgum Sun 29-Jul-12 00:43:38

Cuckoo- yes the villa is gorgeous. I am really looking forward to it. It will involve our immediate family (Me,DH,DD1,DD2 and ds3), and also another family that we are very close to and have holidays with every year. They have a daughter who is best friends with my DD1.

I also had the AMH test, which said I was pretty well barren. But my doctor reassured me that because I'd been pregnant twice in a year before the test that I shouldn't worry too much and it is to be expected at the age of 44. I guess I've been trying since I was 43. I think because I fell pregnant relatively easily with my DS, at age 41(7 months ttc), I didn't think I'd be one of the statistics. I'd never had a miscarriage before and had fallen pregnant first try with my other four kids, so I thought it was just a matter of time.

Now I know it might be a matter of a long time, and that I wasn't immune to miscarriage.

As for the tests, the day 2 test was for estrogen and FSH(follicle stimulating hormone) and the day 21 test is for progesterone(which can tell you if you have ovulated). It's important that it is done 7 days after ovulation, rather than 7 days before AF (that would only be if you had a textbook 28 day cycle, ovulating on day 14). If you do it on day 21, but you ovulate early or later than day 14, the results won't be accurate.

flapjack, I think acupuncture is great and has helped me so much - I don't know if it has helped with conception, but it has certainly helped me to relax and also I think to regulate my cycle. I'd recommend it to anyone ttc.

Jolls - it is so nice to hear from you and I'm so pleased all is wellsmilethanks

Diege Sun 29-Jul-12 07:44:29

Morning! Belated beef wellington on its way gum! Yes, have been away - at the Olympics, watching women's football. Had a great time with the girls, though very tiring travel-wise and it was so hot too. We don't have that problem now <looks out at rain>
Gum I felt really sad when I read your post about no longer ttc sad. I can't remember who posted, but I agreed with the sentiments that you have come so long along the journey of ttc-ing number 6 that it seems cruel that you feel you have no choice but to give up the quest. Is you dh still not taking any decision over contraception? If so, I think I would carry on. At least you would feel that you had done absolutely everything, and maybe the emotional stress of giving up would be worse than the 2 week wait /early pregnancy anxiety? A tough decision xxx
Really interesting to read about tests/where people are in the process. I was so lucky in that agnus castus was about it for me and I do feel eternally grateful when I look at my ds - 9 mths yesterday! I truly wish everyone here the greatest luck in the world.

cuckoogirl Sun 29-Jul-12 09:48:30

See, hopeful? That's two of us now - me & Diege wink

Thank you, flapjack, for your information. I've already had CD2 blood taken (awaiting results) and will be sure to have next bloods taken on day 22 (I ovulate on day 15). I kind of wish I could have the AMH test so that, if my eggs were shite, I could resign myself to a VERY LONG WAIT as opposed to wafting through each cycle THINKING I AM 26 YEARS OLD. I fell pregnant easily, too, Diege, after ttc for two months, but that ended in MMC and it's been 4 months since the ERPC. Every month I tell myself I have the same chance as anyone out there but I know now that, statistically, that is simply not true. 9 month old baby! I love, love, love them at that age grin!

cuckoogirl Sun 29-Jul-12 09:51:36

Oh, and what is with this fecking rain?! I wanted to go fishing today sad

cuckoo I asked for both day 2 and day 21 (or their equivalent cycle day tests). My day 2 tests were fine, but my day 21 tests were rubbish, even though my GP said they were 'normal'. However, I asked for actual print-outs of the results, and my AMH was at the high end (11 or 13) which seemed to indicated I was peri-menopausal... so I was very depressed. But then got pg the next cycle, so I did wonder if AMH did vary a lot. And I seem to remember others on here had similarly high AMH but still managed to get pg, which also indicates it isn't the be-all and end-all...

21+3 weeks today. Baby kicking lots, and while I started my Olympic volunteering work, my team was very self-sufficient, so I am waiting to be transferred to a new team, which also means a move to the Olympic village and a hassle around travel. But I do want the experience!! Still, it meant I was able to go to the rowing today, which was fab.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 29-Jul-12 21:22:16

Mia great to hear all's well.
Jollster too.
gum double take - sad that you're stopping but understand it might be right for you. Would love you to stay on the thread.
hello diege
cuckoo I love how your DP is being now. I love that you go fishing! and after the second time you mentioned poo I didn't turn a hair this time. the poo barrier is broken.

I'm due AF in four days. Am having very very sore boobs and nips, a light feeling in my uterus-area, and a sense of utter dismay.

Does anyone else feel dismayed when they get pregnant? I did the first time. It must have been implantation pains and I felt this surge of emotion and almost burst into tears.

gotta go dp coming pu the stairs

somewherebecomingrain Sun 29-Jul-12 21:23:21

gotta go DP coming up the stairs i had to tell him i was working to get FIVE MINUTES TO MYSELF TO COME ON MUMSNET

somewherebecomingrain Sun 29-Jul-12 21:24:27

BTW it is probably a psycosomatically induced sense of dismay this time round. maybe i'm not dismayed. you know how it messes with your head. i'm not syaing i'm PG, just that i'm having the usual 'willies' to coin a phrase that I'm PG.

hopefulgum Mon 30-Jul-12 00:03:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marytheresa Mon 30-Jul-12 01:11:36

Hiya Italiangreyhound and all you lovely fantastic 40 and ttc ladies out there!

Happy to report safe deilvery of Isaac Joseph on Thursday 26th of July 2012 at 11.04am by el cs, weighing in at a very healthy 7lbs 7oz. Very pleased, just before my 41st birthday on Tuesday.

Giving baby wishes to all ttc.

Lots of Love Mary

somewherebecomingrain Mon 30-Jul-12 07:45:29

marytheresa lovely brew

hopeful your last post was v moving i didnt get to read it properly before cause my dp was breathing down my neck. its amazing how its no easier for you than for someone with just 1 child. That journey that there will be no more. I sort of imagine that if I had several I'd be thinking 'never again'!

hard to speak of in RL.

flapjack lovely post. where did you come from? - i need to get in there and do those tests. I just keep thinking next cycle will be the one but if this doesn't work then I really will go to the GP.

mam lovely to hear the baby is kicking! and you're at the heart of the olympics too! Hello to your little olympic baby!

I've got - now we've broken the poo barrier - intestinal rumblings this morning coupled i think with some abdominal cramps. god know what's going on but uterus is not so 'light' any more. don't feel tired or dismayed today either.

bosoms are unbeleivably sore.

i suppose i should test to see if there's a CP but I hate the dissapointment - i prefer to get my period.

someone asked how i felt - i feel so mixed. part of me fears another PG. the dismay sensation i get is very offputting - it does actualy make me kind of releived when it doesn't happen. My first PG was awful - I just felt miserable, couldn't walk cause my feet got inflamed, put on loads of weight, and could barely stay awake for 5 minutes. It was terrible for work.

But a much bigger part is well up for it, no matter what the impact.


cuckoogirl Mon 30-Jul-12 11:24:44

Feck! Feck! Feckity-feck! I just lost a mahoosive post which was involved/informative/engaging/helpful (probably totally boring & useless). When I've had a brew and a poo (that one's for you, somewhere wink) I may just come back...[sighs]

cuckoogirl Mon 30-Jul-12 12:00:46

MiasMummy, how wonderful that your pregnancy is progressing nicely...keep enjoying your Olympics! torch

Somewhere, I'm sorry that I can't empathise with your pregnancy 'dismay'...are you quite mental? wink I do hope you're preggo.

Mary...CONGRATULATIONS!!! thanks thanks thanks

somewherebecomingrain Mon 30-Jul-12 12:18:07

cuckoo it's not rational, the dismay. it's hormonal and it's my mental frailty, which i do have.

i just went to a freelance interview - for a short job - they basically gave me the job then emailed me almost immediately afterwards to say they weren't sure! Actually very unprofessional. I emailed back and said as much as nicely as possible then also blurted out in this email that i was in early pregnancy and off form (I do feel dazed and weepy). Then when I got home i thought i'd better test and so I did and it's a BFN. But it's not my morning wee and there are still two days to go till AF is due.

But feeling really hormonal and pissed off. GRRRRRRRR. AF can do this but doesn't usually. But it probably is AF. bugger. sad angry.

cuckoogirl Mon 30-Jul-12 12:23:47

Hopeful, thanks for sharing your charts. I have dissected them and come up with a few things. Firstly, you ought not to be getting your true LH surge on the same day as ovulation (Zelda says so!) Could it be you're catching the tail-end of a surge when you record it on the same day as ov? I suspect this is the case, as, in the majority of your cases of this kind you haven't recorded an OPK result the day before. This is quite pertinent, I feel, if you are relying on the LH surge to time your intercourse (I suspect you're not jumping DH's bones twice a day every day around ov seeing as he doesn't want to ttc). If you are relying on the LH surge, and you only catch the tail-end of it (and hence have sex on the day of ovulation) you may well be leaving it too late (especially if you ovulate early in the morning and only have sex late that night). Do you see what I'm getting at? Of course, I don't want to patronise you here; I know you've been pregnant only recently and therefore know what you're doing etc, but I do wonder whether your timing is off alot of the time (please don't be angry with me...there's more):

I also suspect that fertilityfriend has (gasps) pinpointed your ovulation day incorrectly on at least two occasions, on the Feb 2 and March 31 charts this year. On the Feb chart I would pinpoint ovulation at day 19 not day 18 and on the March 31 chart I would put it at 14 and not 12. This also fits with my theory that you're catching the tail-end of your LH surges alot of the time. Six times out of the last 8 charts you have recorded LH surges on the day of ovulation. If you're leaving sex on that day until late at night I think you may be missing the life-span of the egg. Just a thought.

I also noticed a couple of charts where you have over-ridden the fertilityfriend technology to pinpoint your own ovulation day (the charts where the coverline and ovulation vertical lines are blue). Is there a reason for this? I would be particularly wary of this practice, especially if your OPK readings are skewed.

I hope you don't think I'm a know-it-all, or that I'm being presumptuous about your love-life. Quite the opposite - and, like, I said, you've been pregnant several times in the last year so you're obviously doing something right. Can I ask which OPK strips you're using? Will your DP consider having sex two days in a row without him getting mighty suspicious you're ttc? definitely looks to me as though you ovulated yesterday. How exciting!! not to test again after you've detected a true LH doesn't help when you look at your charts retrospectively, I feel.

Do you always test for pregnancy every day from DPO9? (You don't kave to answer that, darling, it was a rhetorical question wink) This would DO MY HEAD IN. It seems to me that this only brings heartache every day you get a BFN, no? The best, best, BEST of luck to you this month, Hopeful x

cuckoogirl Mon 30-Jul-12 12:52:28

Hopeful, the reason I suspect fertilityfriend has occasionally got your ovulation date wrong is because I also use The Fertility Awareness Detector, which is 'based on the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) as it is widely published (ovulation is detected after 3 temperatures above the previous 6) with some enhancements. This detector is best suited to those with regular chart patterns who are already familiar with this method.' [quote/unquote] From your charts you can clearly see a 0.4 degree temp shift (or more) the day after you have ovulated, whereas the two months I've highlighted as possibly being wrong on your charts there isn't anything like this kind of shift - until a day or two days later. Something to think about.

I also think your Aug 2011 chart was off, too. I think you ovulated day 16, not day 14.

cuckoogirl Mon 30-Jul-12 13:00:03

Somewhere, those employers/interviewers should be bloody shot. What an unprofessional hoo-ha! Dicks. I'm sorry you're having a horrid time of it. It seems to me that achy boobs are a method of mentally torturing women who are desperate to conceive. Next time, take absolutely no notice of your breasts/emotions/moods/cramps - infact, anything which might suggest you're pregnant. Difficult, I know. It's too much heartache when the period finally comes. Did you have sex on the day of ovulation and the day before? Obviously you don't need to answer that question but I'm obsessed with people's intercourse patterns (well, not everyone's...just those on here who are trying to get pregnant. Anyway, the way I see it...if we've got past the poo we can get past the sex, no? wink)

cuckoogirl Mon 30-Jul-12 13:09:32

As you can probably tell, I have very little work to do today. Well, this isn't entirely true. I received a few chapters of a book this morning from a would-be author who is obviously keen to jump on the '50 Shades Of Grey' bandwagon. In between this: shock and this: blush, sputtering my brew, and grin with laughter at this sorry excuse of a novel, I have managed to accomplish very little and so have decided to waffle, instead, on here whilst considering demolishing a packet of biscuit

Oooh! Maybe DP won't need the Viagra tonight...I could let him read this novel grin

somewherebecomingrain Mon 30-Jul-12 13:21:09

cuckoo it was a bloody hooha let me tell you. the important thing is to move on and not let it affect the future. I think on some level I didn't want the work as I've been falling behind on various other clients. I think I fell afoul of the 'knowing your limits' thing which is so stupid of me. but i'm moving on.

i am noticing a pattern as a freelancer of being v active in the week on here then quiet at weekends when i leave my computer alone! I think some people are the opposite.

my intercourse was on the day of the LH surge, two days before, three days before and five days before.

Re hopeful - isn't ovulation at least 12 hours after the LH surge - so doing it at the moment of the LH surge is ok? not that it's worked for me so far.

Good luck with the shagging cuckoo maybe leave some key pages from the novel on the sofa where DP will find them and it can seem all spontaneous!

gothinrecovery Mon 30-Jul-12 13:29:20

Somewhere - hope you get an answer soon. Hope everyone is okay.

Quick question for Diege - what is agnus castus and what is it supposed to do?

somewherebecomingrain Mon 30-Jul-12 13:45:30

hey goth thanks x

jollster Mon 30-Jul-12 14:05:20

Hello again.

Someone asked about DHEA. It was recommended to me when I had my Recurrent MC tests at a private clinic, the consultant said she had a number of 40+ women taking it to "improve egg quality". I just thought why not... Gum had some good info on it too.


Agnus castus, is a bit of a catch-all fertility herb, but I took it for about 6 months to try and lengthen my LP. Again who knows...? But a couple of people I knew and trusted recommended it and I was in the "will do almost anything now" camp...

cuckoogirl Mon 30-Jul-12 15:20:47

Thank you, Jollster for that information.

Somewhere, everything I've read and reasearched states ovulation takes place between 24 and 36 hours after your LH surge. Occasionally I have read that ovulation can take place up to 48 hours after. Never 12 hours. You may be confusing it with the lifespan of an egg, which is deemed to be 12 hours (but can be up to 24). Because we cannot with confidence know the exact time of ovulation, Zelda West (have you read her terrific book?) recommends plenty of sexual intercourse in the days leading up to and including the day of ovulation. If you are relying on OPKs to let you know when to begin having sex, it's important not to kid yourself that any line on the stick equates to an LH surge (tempting though it may be). The test line has to be as strong a colour, if not stronger, than the control line. Anything fainter than this is a negative result. Those who record a positive OPK on the same day as ovulation - I believe- are seeing the tail-end of their true surge and may be missing opportunities for more well-timed intercourse.

Also, research shows (and OPK instructions state) that LH surges detected in morning urine will invariably be false-positives. Wait until 4pm to test having abstained from liquids for two hours previously. If you have the cheapie internet OPKs you can then test again at 8pm and 12pm the next day. Once a surge is detected there is no need to test again that cycle. Hope any of this helps.

hopefulgum Tue 31-Jul-12 00:04:38

Well, then, Cuckoo, all my LH positives must be negatives, because I almost always get them in the mornings.confused Despite testing the day before at about 4-5pm. I usually test with the opks after I feel ovulation pain, and I feel it almost every single month. In fact,that's how I got pregnant first try, every time with my first 4 kids( from the O pain). The reason I started testing with opks earlier than usual this month is because I thought I felt O pain on day 7, which is way too early, but I figured that as I'm getting older,I might ovulate early from time to time. But it doesn't seem to fit with my chart, so I don't know?

I'm just not sure that it's true that positive opks in the morning are negatives - surely they could be the tail end of a surge during the night?

As for the ovulation date on the charts - wow, you did some study there- thank you! But I'm not really worried about the O date after the fact, if you know what I mean. Once it is past, there's nothing I can do, but I like to keep track so that I know when to expect AF. Last month AF was quite late, perhaps the O date was off there? But if O was a day later, the temp seems too high. Mostly the charting shows O when there's a dip before a rise.

As for this month - I really don't think I ovulated, it's just so unusual not to feel ovulation pain, and today's temp isn't all that high, though reasonably so. I worry that I'm now in pre-menopause territory and opk's and charting won't help me.

What you were saying about the timing of intercourse, if I'm catching the end of my LH surge, if it is 24-48 hours til ovulation, then surely,even if you catch the end of a surge, there should still be time to catch the egg? I have heard over and over that it is important to DTD in the days before ovulation, but I have found in my own experience I'm better off doing it as close as possible to ovulation. I think Diege said something similar too.In my situation I can't really have plenty of sex in the days leading up to ovulation as suggested by Zelda (do you mean Zita?) West. It just isn't practical, so I'll go with what I can,and have managed to get pregnant three times the way I've been doing it.

As for testing from 9 DPO, yes, I do. I do because in the past I've got my BFP's at 9,10,9 and 10 DPO. Which is always exciting. But also because my GP has told me to contact her as soon as I know so she can prescribe progesterone. Of course that didn't happen with my last BFP because she was away and the other doctor wouldn't prescribe it for me ("There is no proof it will help prevent miscarriage"). Next time I'll go to a different practice.

Oh, I also forgot to add that my thermometer stopped working yesterday and I had start using a new one, in which case things could be right off! I guess it will remain to be seen. I'll keep doing opks(I have the internet cheapies) because I don't think I ovulated yet. I usually get sore breasts right after I ovulate,and there's no sign yet.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could be oblivious to all this stuff, just shag when the mood took us and find out at 6 weeks we've gotten pregnant effortlessly? envy I've stopped taking all the hundreds of supplements I used to take, so I guess I am starting to wean myself off TTC. I guess, eventually, it just wears you down.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 31-Jul-12 08:25:50

hey hopeful nice to hear from you
I want to tell you to keep trying but it sounds from your relationship that it's more complicated than that. A family is a system, you have to work together. I hope you get one though - it was a lovely description of the little child waiting to come.

It's two days till AF due. My boobs have become less sore and I'm getting cramps. Seem's pretty clear what's happening.

This is doubly bad because in my case it's rather embarassing as anyone who read my post yesterday will realise. I blurted out to some potential employers who mucked me around in a most unprofessional and ego-wounding way that I was in early stages of pregnancy.

On the plus side I can indulge in some jogging, unpasteurised cheese, wine and coffee. I'm not terribly elated about that but I will be once I get a good jog under my belt.


somewherebecomingrain Tue 31-Jul-12 08:26:20

irishmammybread btw meant to say - great that you got a heartbeat! keep us updated xxx

Diege Tue 31-Jul-12 08:53:55

Morning! Hope you're ok somewhere; did you hear anything back from the potential employer? Good on you going for a run - do you stop personally when you think you might be pregnant?
Re: LH surge, I'll add my thoughts. Gum , yes for me dtd as close as possible to ovulation resulted in my pregnancies. In fact I'd get a LH surge, dtd, then have a temp rise the next day. I may indeed have been catching the tail end of the surge (though had convincing negs 3 times a day before the pos) but I suppose as Gum says then this still leaves some to to catch the egg so to speak. I spoke to my consultant and he said that, while it is usual to ovulate some days after a surge, for some women it can indeed be within a few hrs which is what I think happened with me. Unusual, but possible! I think I read somewhere in Toni Weshler's book that this can also happen. Nothing's simple eh grin. As you say gum, the way you do it does result in pregnancies, so I'd stick at it that way. Indeed, in an ideal world we'd be at it whenever/whatever the day <feels tired even writing that>
goth, as Jolls says, agnus castus can work for some - i9t did for me, and with no side effects. I think others however have found it mucks up their cycles. If you have a good luteal phase length, then don't bother. They call it 'nature's clomid' butI think the jury's still out.
Hi cuckoo, was the viagra needed after all? wink
On annual leave today but it's throwing it down so might have to come up with something creative to do with the dds, other than watch the Olympics which would be my activity of choice if it were just me torch. At least ds's are at nursery blush so we can venture out to town without having to take the phil and teds...
Hope everyone is ok xxx

Diege Tue 31-Jul-12 08:56:02

NB: for those not in the know 'Phil and Ted' aren't the names of my ds's , but a brand of double buggy grin

somewherebecomingrain Tue 31-Jul-12 09:48:04

no deige they really crapped on me, in a small limited way so I pulled out. It was just for a four-day freelance gig so a bit of a storm in a teacup. I think my hormones were partly to blame. I'm obviously not totally philosophical about it cause still going on about it.

interesting re ovulation - more interpretations of the tealeaves! I mustn't think like that though - i need to get some facts from the doctors.

I've been DTD up until the surge then stopping - i'm convinced it's the beginning of the surge cause been getting clear negatives then clear positives and it's always the same day of my cycle.

I really want a girl and my understanding is doing it slightly early is the best way (girl sperm lives longer but swims slower than boy sperm allegedly, say certain tea-leaf readers).

Has anyone else tried this?

i am tempted to try dhea and agnus castus.

I'm sorry TTC is grinding you down hopeful it grinds me down cause I get so bloody hormonal before AF.


cuckoogirl Tue 31-Jul-12 12:38:00

Hopeful, you have changed my mind. It must be possible to surge on the same day as ovulation is you've had success from this in the past. I keep reading that ovulation occurs 24-36 hours after the surge so I have tended to think that sex on the day of ovulation, for me, is chancing it a bit. My Clearblue digital OPK gave me a smiley face at 7pm last night (again, I'm not convinced with these Clearblue kits; I'm convinced they give you a smiley face at the merest hint of luteinizing hormone). Anyway, if smiley is to be believed, I will ovulate between 7pm tonight and at the latest 7am tomorrow morning (give or take an hour or few). See...if this is indeed the case, I don't want to be relying on sperm which may only be delivered tomorrow night. O course, I will be DTD tomorrow (day of ovulation) as well as today, but I'll make damned sure we have sex early in the morning. Last night's DTD was a roaring ('scuse the pun) success. Rather concerned that today is the day before ov and I've had nothing but dry stickiness in the way of cervical mucus so far. I was tempted to record it as 'watery' this morning but, who am I kidding? (I'd just had a wee).

You are right, of course, that it would be so much easier if we all could simply shag like rabbits and oops! here we are, pregnant. The fact is, I guess for everyone over 40 trying to conceive, sex is now, for us, entirely tied up in the dream of having a baby. Time is no longer on our side, which inevitably means sex has taken on a whole new dynamic. Maybe sex will never be the same again sad sad sad I know for me, personally, sex around ovulation is absolutely nothing to do with arousal or yearning but everything to do with clock-watching and needing sperm. And I hate that side of it. Moreover, I have no idea why I pay good money to fertilityfriend just so I can sit and scrutinize a dot on a chart every morning for months and months on end. I mean, it's not as if I don't know when I ovulate! It's day 15 every single month without fail! Why am I charting? What does the behaviour of my post-ov temps actually tell me that I won't soon find out anyway when my period arrives? [Huge sigh]

But...I know I won't give up charting, just as I know I will never ever have horny, spontaneous, abandoned sex during my fertile window EVER again sad sad sad

cuckoogirl Tue 31-Jul-12 12:48:12

Somewhere - you fascinate me. Why are you so keen to have a girl, may I ask? Do you have boys already? How old are you? (Not nosiness; picture-building wink)

I read the link which jollster kindly sent us regarding DHEA. I couldn't see anything on there relating to fertility or conception. What I did read was that there are links between DHEA and its lessening effect on the hormone cortisol (responsible for stress and weight retained around the stomach). This was enough to make me want to overdose on them. It is said to have anti-ageing properties, too, but there was no talk on the link at all about women's fertility or conception. I wonder what natural foods contain DHEA?

Diege, chortled at your Phil & Ted quip smile many over 40s are trying to conceive on this thread, do you imagine? Are there just the handful who appear on here most days? It doesn't seem very busy?

cuckoogirl Tue 31-Jul-12 12:52:15

Somewhere, Hopeful, Goth, Sparkly, Pocket, Tina and me. I think that's it. I thought there would be lots and lots..

akuabadoll Tue 31-Jul-12 13:48:31

hi cuckoogirl I hang out on another thread but read here too sometimes (a couple of folk may remember me as purpledragon, not so long ago). I have been very interested in the last few posts on LH. I tend not to use OPKs, never had much luck in the past. A friend gave me a box and you might be interested to know that I got one + seemingly on the day of ovulation (with a negtive before and after) this weekend. And yes shagging tensely organised around this amazing event. I've also been thinking alot about how to 'unlearn' charting (nice charts, never been pg), I wonder how that will happen. One thing a have done is stop charting on 3dpo and to start again around CD 7 (I have a short cycle). Charting post ov is just fuel to the mentalling for me, for nothing. I've seen many a perfect 'pg chart' that wasn't. Anyway, just popping in rudely (not 40 yet but very very close!).

somewherebecomingrain Tue 31-Jul-12 15:28:35

cuckoo i have one little boy. i have 2 sisters and i'm just a woman's woman - all my mates are women. i'm now 41.
i could certainly cope with another boy tho.
Yay that your shag was a success! good luck today and tomorrow!

there were loads more but they've all dropped off - italian is now thinking about adoption, diege has rowed back, hopeful is rowing back, twirly gogo who was great - shame you missed her - has just gone after she got bad news from the doc.

angel georgie - are you TTC another?

i'm sure there must be others.

there are actually quite a lot of pregnant people too - jollster, mam, knicky, irishmammybread. good inspiration. and recent babies born 'in the snug' as this thread calls it to 1000fireflies (lovely nickname) and lolfactor.

i;m sure there are tonnes more, i might do a reccy.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 31-Jul-12 15:36:48

Check this out

Twirlyagogo dc1, dc2, mc, mc, dc3, mc x 2.

Italiangreyhound, 47.DD aged 7 (from IUI), MMC 2006, IUI/IVF/Donor IVF - failed. FET donor cycle March 2012 also failed. Looking at all options, including adopting.

Hopefulgum, 45. ttc#6, 3 mcs
Hippychick, 45. DS1 and DS2 conceived in 30s, then decided to ttc at 43. Successful after 5 months but unfortunately MMC; got pregnant again after 3 months - again MC. No BFP since and trying to move on.
Purple Dragon, 39. 1 adopted child; now ttc biological child.
mrscupcake, 42. First pg age 36 ended at 14 wks due to chromosomal abnormalities, ds born 2007 now 5, mmc June 2011, mmc now - ERPC.
kiwibabe, 43. DC1 at 41. TTC DC2.
TinaO99 , failed IUIs; considering natural IVF.
blackcatsdancing44 . TTC second, first is an adult . Had a MMC earlier this year and hoping to have better luck next time.
sparklysapphire, 44 DD (4) , TTC #2
Incaminka, 42. Three mmcs, 6 weeks, 14 weeks and 8 weeks.
luckyagain, 42. Conceived DS via ICSI when 41. BFP in February and told expecting twins.... lost the hb on one at 7 weeks and the 2nd at 9 weeks. Now trying naturally after ERPC.
RetroMaggie. First dd was IVF after 5 years of ttc. One mc since at 7 wks and a possible very early miscarriage.
Elena67, 45. DS (2)
MaisieM, 42. TTc first with DH. Came off the CP in August 2010 and DH had a vasectomy reversal last June and has been tested since and all seems ok with the 'swimmers'.
Curlylox needs updating
Somewhere, 40 DS1 2009, trying for 9 months to conceive #2. 1 poss CP.


MiaAlexandrasmummy, 42. Sad loss of 13-month old only DD who was conceived naturally. Now pregnant naturally with DC2.
marytheresa Due date for DS is 25/7/12.
Jollster, 44 - 1 DS (4) TTC#2 since June 2009, 3MMCs 2 early MCs. Now 24 weeks.
10000 Fireflies - 42, blocked tube, x 2 failed IVF cycles. 40+2 with first ever (spontaneous) pregnancy.
Lolfactor, 46, DS1 and 2 and DD now grown up. DS3 (with new partner) took 2.5 years (on and off) to conceive naturally. 3 x cp and 1 x mc at 5 weeks. DS3 due any moment (so that will make 4 plus a stepdaughter)
clickingtock (aka Beangrower) 42. DS1. BFP after 16 months TTC DC2.
Knickyknocks, 40. Had DD at 37 - had 2 chem pgs since and 1 m/c. TTC #2
irishmammybread ??

Diege, 42, ds2 born October 2011, 10 months trying. Dc number 5! Samuel born happily in the snug.
Angelgeorgie, 41, DD (Phoebe) born 18/10/11 after 4 years of ttc. 2 MC s & Darling Georgie ( stillborn at 41 weeks 10/10/10).
Beattiebow (BB) 41 - just had #6. 2 miscarriages, several chemical pregnancies. Preg after 16 months trying. Used CBFM and Progesterone. (tried temping and clomid also).
Shandybass - 41 , 3 mcs, then DD delivered safely, if a little late!
Herecomesthesun - DS1 at 44, DD at 47 - both conceived naturally. PCOS and went on metformin, which apparently can help reduce the risk of recurrent miscarriage. Was recommended vit B supplements such as pyridoxine (B6) and B12 and also folic acid 5mg daily (DH's family have history of mild spina bifida type defects).
Hairytale - 43, 3 mcs, then DD, naturally conceived.
Fifitot, 47. Had DC1 at 43 and DC2 at 47.
spottysox, 44. DD1 - Labour was 51 minutes from start to finish.
TTT, 41. Sadly lost DD1, aged 3. DD2 conceived naturally after 15 months and delivered safely in the snug.
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hippychick66 Tue 31-Jul-12 16:32:02

Just wanted to say congrats to Marytheresa - fab news about your lovely new, beautiful baby.

Hello to everyone who knows me grin

Big squeeze for gum - you deserve a medal for your dedication.

I don't think you need to include me in the TTC list - I'm really not expecting to get any more BFPs if I'm honest (but nice that you thought of me.)

Had a bit of a read through and am delighted that Miasmum is doing so well - hang in there, kid smile

Welcome to all the new people - there are so many of you.

cuckoo work hard at that gym but don't end up all skin and bone - will you!

Diege Tue 31-Jul-12 17:49:37

grin wink

MrsWooster Tue 31-Jul-12 20:17:16

Hi, Rain
I had a sneaky namechange so have moved from TTC to preggo...

Twirlyagogo dc1, dc2, mc, mc, dc3, mc x 2.

Italiangreyhound, 47.DD aged 7 (from IUI), MMC 2006, IUI/IVF/Donor IVF - failed. FET donor cycle March 2012 also failed. Looking at all options, including adopting.

Hopefulgum, 45. ttc#6, 3 mcs
Hippychick, 45. DS1 and DS2 conceived in 30s, then decided to ttc at 43. Successful after 5 months but unfortunately MMC; got pregnant again after 3 months - again MC. No BFP since and trying to move on.
Purple Dragon, 39. 1 adopted child; now ttc biological child.
mrscupcake, 42. First pg age 36 ended at 14 wks due to chromosomal abnormalities, ds born 2007 now 5, mmc June 2011, mmc now - ERPC.
kiwibabe, 43. DC1 at 41. TTC DC2.
TinaO99 , failed IUIs; considering natural IVF.
blackcatsdancing44 . TTC second, first is an adult . Had a MMC earlier this year and hoping to have better luck next time.
sparklysapphire, 44 DD (4) , TTC #2
Incaminka, 42. Three mmcs, 6 weeks, 14 weeks and 8 weeks.
luckyagain, 42. Conceived DS via ICSI when 41. BFP in February and told expecting twins.... lost the hb on one at 7 weeks and the 2nd at 9 weeks. Now trying naturally after ERPC.
RetroMaggie. First dd was IVF after 5 years of ttc. One mc since at 7 wks and a possible very early miscarriage.
MaisieM, 42. TTc first with DH. Came off the CP in August 2010 and DH had a vasectomy reversal last June and has been tested since and all seems ok with the 'swimmers'.
Curlylox needs updating
Somewhere, 40 DS1 2009, trying for 9 months to conceive #2. 1 poss CP.


MiaAlexandrasmummy, 42. Sad loss of 13-month old only DD who was conceived naturally. Now pregnant naturally with DC2.
marytheresa Due date for DS is 25/7/12.
Jollster, 44 - 1 DS (4) TTC#2 since June 2009, 3MMCs 2 early MCs. Now 24 weeks.
10000 Fireflies - 42, blocked tube, x 2 failed IVF cycles. 40+2 with first ever (spontaneous) pregnancy.
Lolfactor, 46, DS1 and 2 and DD now grown up. DS3 (with new partner) took 2.5 years (on and off) to conceive naturally. 3 x cp and 1 x mc at 5 weeks. DS3 due any moment (so that will make 4 plus a stepdaughter)
clickingtock (aka Beangrower) 42. DS1. BFP after 16 months TTC DC2.
Knickyknocks, 40. Had DD at 37 - had 2 chem pgs since and 1 m/c. TTC #2
irishmammybread ??
MrsWooster, 45, DS(2)

Diege, 42, ds2 born October 2011, 10 months trying. Dc number 5! Samuel born happily in the snug.
Angelgeorgie, 41, DD (Phoebe) born 18/10/11 after 4 years of ttc. 2 MC s & Darling Georgie ( stillborn at 41 weeks 10/10/10).
Beattiebow (BB) 41 - just had #6. 2 miscarriages, several chemical pregnancies. Preg after 16 months trying. Used CBFM and Progesterone. (tried temping and clomid also).
Shandybass - 41 , 3 mcs, then DD delivered safely, if a little late!
Herecomesthesun - DS1 at 44, DD at 47 - both conceived naturally. PCOS and went on metformin, which apparently can help reduce the risk of recurrent miscarriage. Was recommended vit B supplements such as pyridoxine (B6) and B12 and also folic acid 5mg daily (DH's family have history of mild spina bifida type defects).
Hairytale - 43, 3 mcs, then DD, naturally conceived.
Fifitot, 47. Had DC1 at 43 and DC2 at 47.
spottysox, 44. DD1 - Labour was 51 minutes from start to finish.
TTT, 41. Sadly lost DD1, aged 3. DD2 conceived naturally after 15 months and delivered safely in the snug.
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AngelGeorgie Tue 31-Jul-12 21:04:52

Somewhere I not ttc at present after the last 4 years I want to enjoy my life , am loosing weight , going on hols again & enjoying my dd .. So definatly not at the mo!!! For the last 4 years I ve either been ttc, pg, mc or grieving.... Lovely to be chled again & off the emotional rollercoaster.. Concentrating on work, relationships etc.... Good luck to u xxx
Hi all ; good luck all...
Hippy luvs ya!!!
Diege back at you!!!wink
Hi Gum xxxx
Welcome to newbies , regards to " oldies" ( though not in the age sense!!!) xxx

somewherebecomingrain Tue 31-Jul-12 21:22:34

you thoroughly deserve it angelgeorgie so happy for you. you are a bit of an inspiration to me to thank myself for what I have.
Wehey Mrs Wooster! who were you before? Lovely news! U are also v inspiring (cuckoo u must feel better after seeing that post).
thinking i might be on for a bfp again - still megasore boobs, af rumblings have stopped.
am a bit pissed as went out to celebrate some progress from my DP on his financial contribution to our household! He's done really well.
omg thought i had a night to myself - my DP has just woken up and is insisting we watch a film.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 31-Jul-12 21:22:52

cuckoo i mean that list

JBrd Tue 31-Jul-12 21:39:19

Darn, I think I missed my ovulation! Been doing the cheap home test, which worked really well last time, but as this is the first round since coming of the pill, the timings seem off...
Should have ovulated yesterday/today, nada coming up in the test, though. But when I tested on Friday (or Saturday, I cannot remember, and it's driving me crazy!), I got a faint, but distinct second line, but assumed it was still negative, as it was weaker than the control line - according to the instructions, that's a negative.

I reckon it's all still adjusting back to normal, but I'm still annoyed!

Ah, well, at least DH is happy (since I had been assuming I'd be ovulating, I've been, well, taking the appropriate action... grin I'm entertaining the (very) faint hope it might still have been successful.

hopefulgum Wed 01-Aug-12 00:16:37

Somewhere, it sounds promising.When will you test???

It's really hard to look at that list. I've been on it for years,and almost all the over forties I started with have moved on or had a baby. I think I'll see how things go this cycle, and see how I feel, but I feel the end is near.sad

The list, however, does show that many,many women do have babies in their 40's.thanks

hopefulgum Wed 01-Aug-12 05:00:10

Forgot to wave at Hippy - nice to see you here. Hope all is well on the IoW.

It's cold and rainy here. Can't get my washing dry, it's all lined up waiting for its turn in the dryer. And I think I may have to light the fire. I should be at work, but my childcarer is away, so I'm having a day off with my scrumptious little boy. He's so gorgeous lately (despite the clinginess), I'm just so glad we took the plunge and brought him into the world. It was worth all the hard work and angst....[amile]

hopefulgum Wed 01-Aug-12 05:00:22


AngelGeorgie Wed 01-Aug-12 06:22:58

Thanks Somewhere xxx

hippychick66 Wed 01-Aug-12 06:51:04

Waves back at gum. I know what you mean about how long we'be been on the list sad

Nice to see all the snug babies and bumps isn't it?


Diege Wed 01-Aug-12 08:41:52

Morning smile. I was just saying the same about ds2 to dh, gum, about how glad I was we took the plunge and decided to ttc a fifth. He is so scrummy and just into that super-cute stage where he can sit and clap etc. I must post a new piccy on my profile when I get the chance.
Great to see you Hippy. We are tentatively thinking about a visit to the IOW is the future, so would be great to meet up! Watch this space!
Off to take the dds to Lancaster castle today, so fingers crossed the rain keeps away hmm
Somewhere, how are things feeling today?
Love to all xxx

somewherebecomingrain Wed 01-Aug-12 10:08:57

symptom spotting update - i am having mild AF twinges that last about a minute. then some wierd cramps that are sort of outside my uterus. then some tingling. A fair amount of nothing.

It's total tealeaf reading - it could mean anything. But obviously i am keeping track nonetheless.

AF due tomorrow on cd29 - it varies and could even come today, cd28.

Since my suspected CP/early MC (when my period was at least a day late, 30 days instead of its usual max of 29 and i got a faint flicker on a PG test) I have generally been having constant AF twinges at all times of my cycle.

sad for those who've been on the list a long time. There are some ladies on there who have been on there a long time and then get there. Big hugs to you. i hope you stay on the journey and we keep on talking here. I also hope that if you take a rest we keep on talking here too.

diege and hopeful you are born mums, so to speak, and superwomanly. I cannot imagine having any more than 2 - i like my sleep too much.


somewherebecomingrain Wed 01-Aug-12 10:10:29

ps jbrd so sorry to hear it - are you temping as well? Does ov day vary? if you DTD then you're still in with a chance

gothinrecovery Wed 01-Aug-12 13:45:40

Just dropping in, not coming on here much atm as trying not to dwell on things too much. Fingers crossed for everyone - somewhere sounds promising.

I am on the 2ww now (CD16) and hoping that if there is nothing doing this month that my cycle at least gets back to its normal 28 after my weirdly short cycle (25 days) last month which was followed by a horrendous AF (I would have suspected a CP if I had been early rather than late as I had some faint symptoms)

cuckoogirl Wed 01-Aug-12 15:13:02

Hello all. What a hectic 48 hours. I have learnt two new things in as many days: Firstly, that it is indeed possible to have an LH surge on the same day as ovulation (*hopeful*), and second, that I do NOT always ovulate on day 15!! How do I know this? Fertilityfriend told me this morning that I ovulated yesterday (day 14). Actually, this is not strictly true; I did a hopeful and changed the 'expert settings' on the Detector Manual Override so that my primary fertility sign was my OPK (as opposed to basal body temps). I did this because today - when I expected a dip in temperature and hence ovulation - I've had a tiny increase in temp from yesterday. This caused fertilityfriend to pinpoint ovulation at CD12, which is impossible as my OPK smiley face appeared on CD13 at 7pm. So, when I told fertilityfriend to use my OPK as my primary fertility indicator it duly pinpointed ovulation at yesterday. Thankfully, we DTD yesterday and the evening before so the timing of sex is great if I did ov yesterday. However, I'm still pretty shocked as I've never ovulated as early as day 14 in the entire eight months I've been ttc. There is one other conclusion to all this, of course, which is that this is an anovulatory month sad

This morning I received a letter inviting me for my ultrasound scan next Friday (10th), which is all very exciting. By then I will be 10DPO - would a scan at that early stage be able to pick up a teeny-weeny embryo?? Stupid question, eh? Of course it wouldn't. It's just kind of exciting; the thought that, if we were pregnant this month, it might be picked up when I go for my ultrasound!

If I can figure out the technology I will post my chart on here like you did, hopeful, so you can see what you make of it. The vertical blue line is because I have requested my OPK as my primary fertility indicator.

Somewhere, fingers crossed that AF stays away! And thank you very much for that list...tons of over-40s having babies! smile smile

Goth, could your 25 day cycle have been anovulatory? Apparently we all have at least two a year hmm!

Hippychicks, not much chance of me being skin & bone with the amount of biscuits I'm packing away these days. But thanks for your concern wink

cuckoogirl Wed 01-Aug-12 15:19:48

Aquabadoll, after bemoaning fertilityfriend/charting/temping I am now glad of it all if I have indeed ovulated a day early this month. Without it I would have been in the dark, no? hmm

P.s..why don't you stay on this thread? smile

cuckoogirl Wed 01-Aug-12 15:31:17

Just found this on fertilityfriend:

"With the corrected data, the most probable days for intercourse to result in pregnancy have been found to be one or two days before ovulation rather than the day of ovulation itself (Stanford et al 2002).

Additionally, because the most fertile time begins at least a couple of days before ovulation, couples using devices such as OPKs (ovulation prediction kits) or fertility monitors should begin to have intercourse prior to observing a positive or a peak so as not to miss an opportunity to conceive (since these devices typically only indicate a peak or positive on the day prior to ovulation)."

Now I'm wishing me & DP had had sex on Saturday & Sunday if I ovulated yesterday sad

cuckoogirl Wed 01-Aug-12 15:40:34

Advice would be welcome on my chart so far this month:

[url=]My Ovulation Chart[/url]

somewherebecomingrain Wed 01-Aug-12 19:33:52

tried to have a look - it didn't work...

cuckoogirl Wed 01-Aug-12 20:13:25

Somewhere, try this:

P.s. managed DTD at tea-time today, too. Yay!! I do hope fertilityfriend have got it wrong and I've ovulated today...

littlepinkfizz Wed 01-Aug-12 21:20:12

Dropping in and out as afraid to think too much about conceiving again in case I ruin it for myself. Will be 42 next week, have 4 kids 15 14 11 and17 mths. Just mc at 13 weeks 2 weeks ago. Still feeling v raw but keen to try again when we are ready.. May e I am being selfish again when I already have 4 children but we would love company for our last little fella and another wee baby as well. Keep all crossed for us. Good luck to everyone else here x

somewherebecomingrain Wed 01-Aug-12 23:04:27

Got it- wow I just have an app. I have tried ff but it's so comPlicated. It looks good you can't know for sure that u aren't ov now. It could live for up to 24 hours too. I think your just more likely to have a boy cause the fast moving y chromosome sperm are more likely to coincide with it. Hooray for tea time sex.
Hello littlepinkfizz u sound like a prince song sorry about your mc.
Tomorrows the big day it's the day a f due so gonna test.
Xx apols for typos and brevity am on iPhone

lolfactor Wed 01-Aug-12 23:34:08

Hi everyone - have been reading the thread with interest but not able to join in as baby Lol has baby rage and stops me reaching the keyboard. It's weird - sometimes he looks super cute; at others he looks like Mick Hucknall without the diamond tooth stud!

Love to all - plus loads of newbies. Baby dust to all. Will try to post a pic of babylol on my profile to show the doubters that miracles sometimes happen - at 46!

somewherebecomingrain Thu 02-Aug-12 08:13:50

hi lol lovely to hear it! that is a very vivid description of your wee one. Do you find him really cute even when he is howling? I used to with my DS.

Got a BFP this morning. My advice to all is do it A LOT, and do it IN THE RUN UP TO OVULATION. cause that's what we did.

For today i am pregnant, am trying not to get carried away as anything could happen in the next 13 weeks (or is it actually 9 weeks as i guess i'm 4 weeks now)

If it sticks I am going to have some awful, awful moods - i think i am a bit vulnerable mentally when preg. Am quite apprehensive about this. Obviously prepared to take it.

anyway hope it is catching (the BFP not the moods!).

cuckoo my learning whilst on this thread definitely helped me get to this stage - rooting for you 100%


Diege Thu 02-Aug-12 08:59:27

Many congratulations somewhere, that's lovely news grin. May the next 9 mths be very uneventful and boring for you!
Hi lol, great to hear from you. How old is baby Lol now?
Waiting in for washing machine delivery today - helpfully told they'll be here between 7am and 7pm hmm. 2 hrs down I suppose. I can't believe I've not had a washing machine for 5 days!!!!!!! I also suspect ds1 has slapped cheek disease (fifths) so will try to get to gps for a diagnosis though have to prioritise the washing machine arrival blush. Still, he has the rash (if it is that), he's completely himself, so no urgency other than so that nursery know for next week.
Love to all xxx

cuckoogirl Thu 02-Aug-12 09:52:44

Oooooh, Somewhere!! Massive congratulations and the best of luck for a trouble-free pregnancy thanks thanks thanks Will you be staying on here? smile

I'm thrilled to have had my temperature shoot up this morning which would indicate that I did indeed ovulate yesterday (my usual day 15). This would be extremely fortuitous as it means we've had sex on the day of ov and the two days preceding. It's months and months since I've had such plentiful and well-timed sperm; I can't help but be a little excited.

Diege, few things in life are more soul-destroying than waiting for the invisible washing machine man. Hang in there...this, too, will pass hmm

somewherebecomingrain Thu 02-Aug-12 11:05:58

yes will be staying on here - anything could happen after all, the ship has not reached port. Might pipe down a bit and lurk more but love this thread it's so supportive - good ground rules have somehow been laid - whoever started it off must have been good people.

cuckoo that's brill news about your temperature peak and all the shagging - good luck! It does sound like you might have got your ovulation date wrong before.

Diege being without a washing machine strikes deep at the heart of the ticking clock-type mechanism that is the home. It creates massive knock-on problems. I hate that. Hope it's sorted soon.


Diege Thu 02-Aug-12 11:39:27

somewhere you are fully welcome for the full 9 months and more grin - I can't think of anyone who disappeared after a bfp, so don't you go wandering grin
cuckoo sounds like you timed things very nicely - are you an early tester?
Washing machine has arrived grin. I now feel in a state of atrophy - there is a roomfull of washing (I mean roomful) and all I can do it look at it with a glazed expression. I must go and introduce myself to the new Mr. Indesit in my life (Mr. Bosch sadly wheeled away).

TinaO99 Thu 02-Aug-12 16:35:59

pocket so sorry it's taken me so long to respond - thanks v much for the advice re best things to do before donor ivf, I appreciate it!

somewhere yahoo congratulations, really pleased for you, take care of yourself

welcome to pinkfizz and hello to everyone else. I don't have anything new to report, haven't received the phone call from the clinic yet to say a donor is ready but I feel remarkably relaxed about it all now. I think the Hypnotherapy did the trick!

Personally feeling veru sad however today as someone I used to work with - a lovely lady who was only 49 died suddenly of a brain haemmorhage on holiday, I can't stop thinking about her as she just only a few years older than me, especially as I had a major fit whilst on holiday last year and was rushed into hospital for all manner of scans etc. luckily it was just a blip but it's frightened me as it could so easily have been me :-(

she didn't have any kids but was everyone's mum she was so warm and lovely, at least you can say it was quick and she must have been having afab time but even so it's terrible news

anyway have a day off tomorrow and am hoping to spend it with by dd - I haven't spent much time with her lately and when we have seen each other we seem to spend our time arguing about little things so I thought it would be nice to have some quality time! Have a great weekend everyone!

Pocket1 Thu 02-Aug-12 17:39:37

Quick hello from me. Hope everyone's okay. I need to catch up properly! X

hopefulgum Thu 02-Aug-12 23:16:47

Congratulations Somewhere. What wonderful news.grin

Tina - so sorry to hear about your colleague. It's so sad, 49 is very young. I think when this sort of thing happens, it shakes us up a bit and has us thinking about our own mortality(as well as the loss), I know it always helps me appreciate all the wonderful things in my life (especially people) and what is actually important. I hope you have a lovely time with your daughter. It's nice to hear you are feeling relaxed about the donor. I have a feeling things will turn out well for you.

Deige, I can really relate to the "room" full of laundry. It happens here alot! But when you don't have a washing machine for a few days, it's complete anarchy. Last time it happened to me I had to resort to hand washing. I wasn't working at the time,which helped, but never-the-less, still had piles and piles of dirty laundry to catch up on.

lol, it is lovely to hear from you. I hope all is well with babylol.

I'm really not sure about the ovulation thingy here. I am still dubious that I did ovulate - I just don't feel like it has happened, and temps aren't that high.But,although I feel puzzled,I'm not stressing about it. If I haven't Oed, then maybe I'll still catch an egg, I'm still doing opk's,and they're still very,very negative. Time will tell, and there are plenty of other distractions around me.

I can't quite understand myself...I'm supposed to be working hard at paying off my credit card, so I went to my favourite boutique yesterday and bought two new items from my favourite label,and spent over $500!!shockI know it won't help me pay off the card, but I was hopeless at resistance. I may need an intervention!hmmI do love what I bought though: both summery items(and it's really cold and wet here).Oh dear....torch

somewherebecomingrain Fri 03-Aug-12 09:00:04

hopeful waggling my finger at you tsk tsk tsk! you need rehab! I find my triggerhappy spending is all over the internet these days.
tina I'm so sorry for your sad news - she does sound like she was a great lady and had a good life but it's not fair when someone goes early.

I am well aware i've a long way to go but am immediately losing the ground i've gained with low-carbing. mad hunger. need to find a good 'stay slim in pregnancy' thread If this isn't going to be a sticky one there's no point in piling on weight. If it is, I need to get on top of the cravings now as it'll escalate. Last time I was PG walking became painful i was so fat - it was an actual disability.

somewherebecomingrain Fri 03-Aug-12 09:07:22

also drinking coffee cause just can't cope with the feeling that i'm melting like butter into sleep. which is risky for MC but i have so much work to do. going to make one cup of fresh brew last all day is my plan.

Diege Fri 03-Aug-12 09:25:53

Ahh Gum I think we must have been separated at birth - I also had a shop-fest the other day, about the same £ as you, and feel very guilty <looks over at White Company shopping bags>.
somewhere if you are serious about minimising weight gain in pregnancy, in a healthy way, then Slimming World might be the thing for you. It's approved by the Royal College of Midwives and does leave you feeling quite stuffed iirc. Don;t stress about the coffee - I think you can have up to 3 cups a day (small-ish). Obviously take into account caffeine in tea/coke etc. I swtiched to decaff tea and coffee, though always had one caffeinated tea and one costa caffeinated americano a day. Would have dissolved in a pile at my desk otherwise! How are you feeling in yourself?
Off to playbarn hell today with friend and her children. Will have all 5 with me, which is fine for me, though yesterday (first time in a long time) I lost count of the number of times I was stopped and asked 'are they all yours?'. 'you must be mad!!!', 'are any of them twins'??? I don't mind the odd comment etc, as people are just chatting, but some of the comments were a bit borderline rude and quite wearing after a while! I bet Angelina and Brad don't get this grin

knickyknocks Fri 03-Aug-12 09:32:58

somewhere wonderful wonderful news thanks thanks thanks. I'm crossing everything that it's a sticky one for you. I'm still allowing myself a half shot coffee every now and again - and loving flat pepsi max.
tina awful news. Far far too young. Just tragic. Hope you had a lovely time with your DD. News like that makes you realise how lucky many of us are.
hopeful over $500 on 2 items?? Bet they look fab though - hoping that weather changes for you soon so you can wear them as soon as poss (on the other hand you could make a lunchtime meet up in a restaurant indoors somewhere to show them off.....)
diege a new washing machine grin I was terribly excited when we got a new tumble drier. Makes such a difference to your life! Though I do feel decidedly old when I get excited about new white goods - not exactly how things were for me 20 years ago......

AFM I'm doing OK, though been having some terribly nauseous days. I'm 8 weeks with the scan booked in for the first week of September. Crossing fingers everything continues to go smoothly. Thinking of you all on this thread too though. You have all been such a wonderful support to me, thank you xxxx

somewherebecomingrain Fri 03-Aug-12 10:08:09

diege bosoms are agony. Feeling just a little fluttery/almost sick. this could be a good thing i hope. but its a bit early for nausea which might mean i'm going to be bedridden with that hyperemenesis thing.

Concerned about my work - i am a freelancer and i don't do such good work when i'm pg. i wish i could just say 'i'm in early pregnancy and totally off form' but you can't.

also concerned about money - we got a shot of money from my DP last week, but it's not going to last for long.

Anyway DP has been rather extravagantly following his dreams - if I get to 13 week's he might have to rethink that. Well he will have to. So that's on my mind.

thanks all for cheer on the caffeine front - i need it right now. Fantastic news smile.

i don't have time right now for slimming clubs but if i get to 13 weeks safely i prob should make time. it's not a joke when you're so fat your feet get inflamed!

knicky thanks hon! have to wait and see of course but nice to know it's basically in working order. good luck with your scan! pleased to hear you feel horribly sick IYSWIM. its a bummer isn't it cause only carbs will help.


gothinrecovery Fri 03-Aug-12 13:06:05

Just dropping in briefly as wanted to say congrats to somewhere. Knicky good to hear things are progressing well.

Gum I know what you mean, I need to get a grip on my credit card as well, not easy though!

Roll on the weekend, I am knackered at the moment and seem to be running warm at night (at least according to DH) so not sleeping great.

kiwibabe Fri 03-Aug-12 18:30:41

Hi haven't been on for ages and looks like there has been some good news around the place, thats great. I'm trying not check in so much as not feeling positive practically every major stressful life event other than a new baby seems to have hit us, so just feeling like its not meant to be.But still can't get rid of the little niggle at the back of my mind that it might happen and if I give up it never will, anyway good luck to all and coming on here occasionally always gives me a boost, thanks

catdoctor Fri 03-Aug-12 19:24:36

Good evening ladies

Have read your stories and I'm not sure how to express how moved I've been without sounding patronising or pretentious - what is this thing that drives us on; do you think men feel it the same way? I hope I can get to know you all better.

So this is my first month of TTC (ever!) - what an odd feeling. Here's the thing; my sleep is up the do-dah as DS teething, temps all over the show, not really sure about the cm interpretation - I'm going for the DTD every other day during the middle of my cycle approach. So is it significant DTD within say 24hrs of ovulation or is my slightly random approach sufficient? Perhaps I need to embark on OPKs?

Anyway, I'm now cd16, try and keep my eyes open long enough tonight to entice DH away from his new i-phone and tablet thingy - what are my chances of competing with IT?? May have to break out the cat suit but don't want to play my trump too early.

If the kitchens are open, I've got major cravings today as (still) trying to shift baby weight - gravadlax please, then a steak, medium rare, all the trimmings (dull I know, but that's what 4 weeks on fish does for you), one of those Gu chocolate things, bottle of merlot, mmmmmmmmm

Diege Fri 03-Aug-12 20:30:31

Ok, bistro open! Welcome catdoctor! I'll get chef on to your rather demanding request straightaway grin. Re: your timing of dtd, that's the approach I took (every other day around ovulation) and working for me in the end. I think there's 'text book' and then there's 'real life', though tbh a lot of the books do say every other day is pretty much as good as every day around ovulation. Good luck to you x
kiwi nice to see you - sounds like things are tough at the moment, but as you say, that niggle doesn't going away and at least of you are ttc there is indeed lots of hope. I think you need a special dinner, lots of comfort food coming your way missus!
Hi goth, good to see you!
knicky sounds like things are going really well, and scan not too far away too. Really pleased for you xx
Getting excited as away with a friend for the weekend tomorrow (York). We're staying in a hotel sat night, doing lots of shopping, and having losts of meals out. I can't wait!
Love to all xxx

knickyknocks Fri 03-Aug-12 20:52:14

OOh diege your weekend sounds FAB!!! Make sure you buy yourself things when shopping (all too easy to end up buying things for the kids I always find....) a lazy lunch somewhere,more retail therapy and a meal out in the eve sounds divine. Enjoy, you deserve it.

catdoctor sounds like you've got your timing well planned. It may be worth doing OPKs for a couple of months - I found that my ov date was always the same so was able to time DTD to the point of asking for annual leave a few days before (hubby a shiftworker so not always here of an evening).

Right, lovely, the bistro is open....could I have garlic prawns with some crusty bread, followed by rack of lamb with dauphinoise potatoes and green beans. I'd like the cheese board to follow please. Oh and an ice cold cloudy lemonade.

hopefulgum Sat 04-Aug-12 01:17:52

Deige - your weekend sounds amazing - I know you'll have fun.

I've got a girl's weekend coming up at the end of August. Can't wait. Luckily it doesn't involve shopping (since my shopping spree I have been feeling particularly guilty and have decided I WILL NOT purchase anymore clothing for a LONG LONG time!). It's a knitting weekend.I know it sounds dull, but it is very relaxing and a great way to unwind with a bunch of women,good food and wine.

Hi Kiwi.Sorry to hear things haven't been going well for you. I hope you can have your much longed for baby soon.

Welcome to catdoctor (are you a vet?). I second what Deige said. I think every second day is just fine. Some people go twice a day (if only I had that kind of energy!), but you just need some sperm waiting (and they can live for up to 5 days) so every second day should have some in reserve.

Goth - are you in the 2ww? running warm at night is a good sign if you are.Fingers

Diege Sat 04-Aug-12 08:29:23

Thanks Gum, Knicky, oh yes, will be sure to enjoy myself grin That's very true knicky about buying things for the kids - I already have a list I've compiled of winter clothes for them...I will force myself to look at things for me too grin
Gum, planned weekend for you end Aug sounds great too - I got back into knitting a while ago. Got some lovely Debbie Bliss wool and great books (Erica Bloom??) and made a few bits but have sadly lapsed. There's a 'Stitch and Bitch' class in our local bookshop that sounds fun - I can imagine a knitting weekend would be anything but dull.
Right, better go and pack!
Diege xxx

catdoctor Sat 04-Aug-12 09:53:53

Oh dear - crashed and burned last night as DH didn't come up with the goods (to coin a phrase!) - it's hard I think not to put pressure on our significant others but at the same time I think I've assumed he'll DTD as and whenrequired!

cuckoogirl Sat 04-Aug-12 10:39:20

Hello everyone, enjoy your weekend Diege. Gum, knitting is never dull in a circle of women, surely? It sounds great. I made a king-size patchwork quilt cover which took me six months to complete. The end result was so rewarding and the eclectic colours literally dominated my bedroom! Friends told me to make more and sell them but I really couldn't price them in any way that would justify the slavish amount of work required.

I'm thrilled this morning (so very easily pleased hmm) to see that fertilityfriend have come to their senses and moved my ovulation day from 12 to 15. I knew it! This means the Intercourse Timing Analyzer has awarded me a 'high' score (the first I've had since charting)! I can't help feeling really hopeful this month, especially as my temperatures - both pre- and post-ovulation - are the highest they've been since the ERPC. Have a lovely weekend, all. I'm off for an Italian meal tonight with four friends; we haven't seen each other since we worked together seventeen years ago! shock

cuckoogirl Sat 04-Aug-12 10:44:00

Catdoctor, in recent months my DP has turned into a jibbering wreck around ovulation and so this month we have resorted to Viagra. It worked a treat. Knowing he will have no problem ejaculating gave him a huge confidence boost. It means I don't have to utilise the self-insemination kit I received through the post yesterday from India (I kid you not) blush

catdoctor Sat 04-Aug-12 21:57:55

Hi cuckoogirl - I've followed your pharmacological exploits with interest wink but DH has coronary heart disease and suspect this may finish him off! Since when do you need to go to India for a turkey baster, or am I really out of date?!

BUT managed to DTD this afternoon - have ovulatory pain so tomorrows temp will be interesting. Can anyone fill me in - I think I read somewhere that discomfort preceeds ovulation rather than indicating the actual event?

hopeful yes, pussies are my buisness!

kiwiI hope you fing strength to go wherever you want to go

Good evening to all of you and sending calming and energetic vibes depending on your requirements.

littlepinkfizz so sorry for your loss.

Pocket nice to see you here, is this your new home?

Misalexandersmummy did you help at Olympics/are you helping at Olympics? Hope all is well and thinking of you.

Hi Hippy, Angelgeorgie, Gum, TTT, Beatie, Knicky, Diege, Jolly, Shandy, Tina and anyone else who knows me.

I was with my sister this week and commented that it was actually 10 years ago last month we started trying for a family and 7 years ago this month we started trying for a second baby! Very glad to be about to start a whole new roller coaster as we can officially approach social services next month to explore adoption! Any arrow prayers would be welcome! Please! Scared and excited all at once.

kiwibabe Sun 05-Aug-12 17:17:06

Well af arrived as predicted, so although I basically knew this wasn't my month still have a little hope, I know too well the frustration of hubby not coming up with the goods and know I put way too much pressure on him. I just figured out of I was to get pregnant now I would be 44 when bubba arrived. Opinions please 43 and trying to conceive since mc 20 months ago, cycle 28 days and positive opk usually day 11, 12 not been to dr as oh not keen on medical assistance is it too late to try temping, I have never done it before. Just can't face going on pill etc and loosing a very slim last chance

kiwi not too late to try temping. We are generally big fans here, as you might have gathered.

Some wonderful news I have to share, as it is relevant to all the courageous ladies here. Just learnt my 44-year-old friend is 8 weeks pg with her lovely new partner, and baby is due on my birthday!! So, so happy for them, as she has longed for this. Of course, I cried.

italian yes, I am currently volunteering at the Olympics, which is why I am quiet at the moment. Fun, interesting, but also tiring - ever since I made the move to the Athletes' Village last week after my team at the Rowing Village turned out not to need any support. I'm with a tiny team, but it means we are fully immersed with them. It has been a little weird, in that my identity, and Mia, are unknown to everyone here, but not in a bad way. I carry her so proudly in my heart.

hippychick66 Sun 05-Aug-12 20:43:08

Big hug for miasmum. In some ways it must be nice to spend some time with people who don't know what you've been through and therefore don't define you by it. But I do love your statement that you carry her in your heart with pride. Yay - for your friend. Have fun torch

Miaalexandersmummy huge hugs to you, you deserve a gold meddle for lovliness.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 05-Aug-12 22:56:55

That's so beautiful miasmummy xxx

hopefulgum Sun 05-Aug-12 23:46:47

Miasmummy, It is lovely to hear you say that. She is so loved by you.thanks

Kiwibabe, I know this journey is HARD,hard,hard, and waiting so long after your miscarriage is hell, but if you don't want to miss a chance, then forget about contraception. Continue, and you may well be surprised. HAve you tried acupuncture? I think it's great for fertility, but mostly it's great for helping me relax.

It's great news about Miasmummy's friend. Was she ttc for long?

I recently read an article in a magazine by Nicki Gemmel, about having a baby at 44/45. She talked about how she tried for a long time,had two miscarriages,and pretty well gave up, then got pregnant without actually trying. After her article there were loads of letters from older parents about having a baby in their forties. One woman was 46, had had three miscarriages,then her healthy baby.

I do believe that we can get pregnant and have a baby at this age,but it requires an amazing amount of patience and requires an attitude of,"it will all be alright in the end, either way", if we aren't to go mad trying.

As for me, it seems I was right when I had ovulation pain on day 7 of my cycle, because I've just got AF, which would be 12 DPO. I'm a bit shock, but then again, not entirely surprised as I know being peri menopausal, these anomalies will occur. I should have listened to my body. I did try to DTD but DH wasn't "performing" all that well, he must have sensed that I was ovulatinghmm. So it looks like I'll have to start opks a little earlier now.

I'm not really that bothered. I'm getting right into exercising more and have been sticking to my diet and losing weight, in I know all that will disappear if I get pregnant, so I'm glad I can do it for longer,and perhaps get down to a more ideal weight before getting pregnant. Then again, if I don't get pregnant it won't be the end of the world, I seem to be coming to terms with it more and

Italian, it is so nice to hear from you, I'm so happy to hear that you'll be getting the adoption ball rolling soon.Exciting!

My youngest DD is off on school camp today for 5 days. It feels strange, I shall miss her, but she is so excited. I know it will be great fun for her.It's nice to see her so excited.

How was your weekend Deige? I'd love to hear all about

catdoctor Mon 06-Aug-12 07:52:40

* Italian* I'm also looking forward to hearing your story as it develops - I hope that doesn't sound too presumptious, but I'm really interested

hopeful I think your attitude is great - good combo hopeful intent plus realism; am trying to emulate

Miasmummy bloody excellent! Havn't picked up what you do in rl - how have you fitted all this in?

I'm on cd19 now and despite plenty ewcm and ovulatory pain, no temp shift so looks like I'm anovulatory this month - so it's me that failed to come up wth the goods after slagging off DH! This is only my third cycle; DS 2, still breastfeeding and suddenly gone mad at night for boob as last molars coming through, so we're all tired and fretful. Thing's are bound to be a bit screwy I suppose, but now I'm going to have to learn how to wait patiently till next month. Advice please!

gothinrecovery Mon 06-Aug-12 09:00:18

Hi all, not been on over the weekend, doing loads house stuff. Hugs to Miaalexandersmummy - great what you are doing - and excellent news about your friend.

Gum - yes I am in the 2ww, I am 7DPO (I think) and still running warm according to DH . Not getting my hopes up though, apart from anything else this happened when I was in the WTF cycle after my mc and there was nothing doing then although AF was a bit later than I expected it. Also no other symptoms as such. Not going to be on here much over next few days as packing for 2 week hol so will just need to see what happens.

gothinrecovery Mon 06-Aug-12 09:00:43

Sorry, hugs to everyone else as well!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 06-Aug-12 10:33:05

Hey hopeful I really agree with your attitude - that it can be ok either way and keep on going. it's so imponderable but it can and does happen, quite a lot. glad you're still trying.
goth it sounds good - i'm rooting for you. I'm still not clear if you've had any tests, did you not want any?
kiwi i've not taken in your story properly I'm sorry but i'm wishing you luck.

AFM I am in the Les Dawson boob-feeling stage (TM knickynocks) and knicker checking. think i'm feeling sick but could be imagining it ie not really feeling sick, just want to. but did eat a cheese and onion pasty for breakfast which i don't normally do. went all the way to tesco to get it specially. found myself giving the contents of the aisles a very 'hard stare' as in do i want that in my body or not?

hugs to all xxx

cuckoogirl Mon 06-Aug-12 10:46:43

Miasmummy, what a beautiful post and what encouraging news about your friend.

Italian, the best of luck with your adoption plans.

Hopeful, are you convinced you ovulated on day 7? Looking at your chart I think it's highly unlikely (even if you are 'perimenopausal'). I would trust the temperature shift and EWCM before I trusted any 'ovulation pain' you may have felt. The lines on your chart were blue so it looks like you've used the 'manual override' function to alter ovulation day. The EWCM on day 11 and the big temp shift on day 12 are far bigger indicators of ovulation than anything else (and I think fertilityfriend would agree). Are any of your friends on here willing to help you with your chart if you're unwilling to listen to unsolicited advice from me (two heads are better than one and all that)? Because, if you carry on like this it's unlikely you're going to get pregnant - especially as you aren't able to have plenty of sex at the right time. It seems to me you ovulated on day 11 and had only a 7 day luteal phase (which has its own set of problems). I'm sorry if my opinion nettles you - I really am only trying to help - maybe your friends on here would be willing to take a look at your chart?

cuckoogirl Mon 06-Aug-12 10:48:15

Somewhere, knicker-checking is the pits - I'm not looking forward to that next time around sad

gothinrecovery Mon 06-Aug-12 13:18:09

Somewhere - tests for what? Do you mean post MC? Nothing was offered, I had a meeting with a consultant and was basically told (nicely) to go away and keep trying and it had probably been a random chromosome problem. Also that it was likely I had had a very early undiagnosed mc a few months previous to my diagnosed 7 week mc (I had put it down to late AF but now I know I've been pg and discussed with doc i am pretty sure it was a very early mc) Went through all the usual investigations 2 1/2 years ago up to and including lap and dye and was told there was nothing wrong.

Good luck with les dawson and the pasty!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 06-Aug-12 16:34:45

Hi goth yes just the usual investigations - i wasn't sure how long you were trying, most people on here talk about their test results.
rooting for you on your 2ww

TinaO99 Mon 06-Aug-12 17:00:39

wow just been told we have a donor - we accepted so I'll be starting on my injections when my next af arrives (I think) which is at the end of the week! I'm so excited!!!!!

somewherebecomingrain Mon 06-Aug-12 17:18:01

brilliant news tina! xxxx thanks

Diege Mon 06-Aug-12 17:24:28

Lovely news Tina, I'm so pleased for you smile
Weekend away was great grin. Spent too much, ate too much, didn't sleep enough; the usual...Now I am rueing it after a total of just 3hrs sleep last night as a result of poor ds2 getting his second tooth through. So tired I have had to 'work from home' blush
Love to all xxx

gothinrecovery Mon 06-Aug-12 17:34:50

Great news Tina!

Thanks for the clarification somewhere.

Feel odd - as though AF is about to start (have had some mild cramps today and feel a bit weird). Only on CD 21 so if it is AF then the MC has truly mucked up my cycle good and proper. sad

Great news Tina.

tina such fab news, can't wait to hear what happens next!

somewhere ooh, Les Dawson boob-feeling, lovely!!

hopeful my friend can't have been trying too long, she only met her partner last year, and I am guessing that they have been trying for about six months.

cuckoo I am self-employed "officially", but I was only just starting to develop my consultancy properly when Mia died, so I have been very slow to pick it up again. I did want to do the Olympic stuff too, which also hasn't really helped the work, but a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

hopefulgum Mon 06-Aug-12 23:08:28

Great news Tina - very exciting.

Goth, I get those cramps and weird feelings around implantation time when I've got a BFP. It is a possibilitysmile

Deige, glad your weekend away was good, sounds wonderful actually, just what a hard-working mama needs I think. Sorry about the teething, that is hard.I hope you can get some rest.

gothinrecovery Tue 07-Aug-12 08:54:29

Thanks gum - had wondered about that but I have no boob tenderness, mind you didn't get that noticeably until AF was actually late when I was pg earlier this year. We will just have to see, in the meantime not going to get my hopes up.

diege - glad you had a good weekend.

Diege Tue 07-Aug-12 09:39:18

Thanks Gum smile. Better night last night with ds2, although it was ds1's turn last night to wake up and annouce it was 'morning time' at 2.15am hmm Not long till your knitting weekend now!
Goth oddly I only get sore boobs when af is due, and for a few days after its started. When I've been pregnant, like you it's been when af was a week or two late (by which time I had of course known from obsessive testing for a while, and got into regular panics when they seemed less sore.) Oddly, the time when they were really sore (no other symptoms) was when I had my mmc at 10 weeks.
Throwing it down again today - just rescued washing off line. I need to think of something very cheap to do with the dds today as having buyer's remorse over my weekend splurge blush

somewherebecomingrain Tue 07-Aug-12 21:11:52

Hello all
Goth I hope it is good news xxx
Hello diege omg your kids do that? mine slept terribly last night actually i don't know why i'm surprised. it is gods revenge for you enjoying yourself so much!
mam you are very dynamic! consultancy eh? do you have staff?!


Diege Wed 08-Aug-12 10:21:27

Hi somewhere! Marginally better night's sleep for me, with only one 'disruption' from ds1 hmm. How are you doing?
Very quiet on here! Hope all is well with everyone xxx

Irishmammybread Wed 08-Aug-12 11:31:44

Hi, not posted for a while as we've been away and have just been busy since coming back. DD1 was 13 yesterday so became a teenager(though she's been acting like one for a while!).
I'm trying to catch up with the thread. I've read a bit from just after i went away, then the last page so I just need to catch up with the middle!
I noticed my stats weren't on the list so just to refresh;
I'm 44, have DS 19 DD1 13 DD2 8 ,had an unplanned but not unwelcome pregnancy earlier this year that resulted in a MC at 11 wks, realized how much we wanted another baby, tried again and had a MC at 6 weeks in June, tried again without waiting for AF and am now 8.5 weeks pregnant.
I had a scan this Monday which showed a strong heartbeat and little one is measuring normally for dates, I know it's early days yet but at least so far so good.

Somewhere, congratulations!

Tina, great news about your donor,hope it all works out for you

Miasmum, well done on volunteering at the Olympics! We've just watched little bits on tv, I'd imagine being there is a once in a lifetime experience. You have an amazing attitude to life,Mia will always be in your heart and never forgotten.

Right, sorry not to namecheck everyone but I've got to sort out early lunch and getting the kids out somewhere while the sun is shining!

somewherebecomingrain Wed 08-Aug-12 13:17:50

hey irish good news (or did you already tell us that? I thought I already heard that) anyway, really good news, lovely and inspiring.

Today I saw the doctor. There's not much to say - it's such a transitional moment where anything could happen. I'm 4+6 - it's nothing. This is what gets me about early PG - it's sort of inconclusive IYSWIM.


kiwibabe Wed 08-Aug-12 20:57:40

Hi Irish thats lovely news, I didn't know your story, I fleet in and out as find it all very hard, I'm 43 and been tryng since a mc 20 months ago, so its lovely to hear your news. I'm only using opk sticks and tried day before positive, day off, day after as much as hubby can manage which after 20 months is becoming less often!! Were you on any meds etc, I also tried acupuncture but stopped afte 6 moths couldn't afford it. I have never done the temp thing did you?

lolfactor Wed 08-Aug-12 21:52:29

somewhere hope you don't mind me saying congratulations so late in the day - it's taken me hours catch up with the thread! Also well done to Tine and Italian - how EXCITING!
Diege gum had a similar splurge. £180 on 2 pairs of jeans (in the sale - honest) then I hit Zara. Just wanted to celebrate the decrease in size of my porn star biscuitbiscuit to allow me to buy Medium tops. I've just finished breast feeding (babylol now 6 weeks) as he BIT me. Yes, readers, he BIT ME!!! He's said he's sorry but I don't trust him. He's now downing bottles every 3 hours, the size of which horrify me. I'm a shadow of my former self. No wonder! Other than that, all fine. He's gorgeous and I love him to bits - yes, even the baby rage and the Neil Kinnock hair-do (his ginger hair has fallen out everywhere but grown long at the back and sideshmm).

But he's sleeping 6 hours at night, so what's not to to love?

Hippy bet you're loving the holidays. Waves to all - going to get some sleep while I can.

lolfactor Wed 08-Aug-12 21:59:59

ps - I've put some pictures of Teddy on my profile page, just in case you don't believe me!

somewherebecomingrain Wed 08-Aug-12 22:20:05

hey lol he is cute and gorgeous! well done you

hopefulgum Thu 09-Aug-12 00:36:18

Lol, he is delightful, and smiling! You look fabulous! I'm glad he's been happy to take the bottle, my babies just wouldn't go there! Biting,Ouch! I finally weaned DS2 at 17 months after being bitten far too many times, plus getting mastitis every couple of months. For some reason it only happened with DS2.

Irishmam, glad all is going well, so nice to see your little babe on the ultrasound. Feeling envy for you pregnant ladies and ladies with babes, but really doing okay right now, and not feeling too bad about if it doesn't happen. On the other hand, still feel like it is a real

hopefulgum Thu 09-Aug-12 00:36:48

P.S. so glad to see I'm not the only one blowing money on nice new clotheswink

Diege Thu 09-Aug-12 08:34:41

Morning! Lol he is absolutely scrumptious [grin Has he got a tooth or just hard biting-down gums? Good to see too that you're getting back in the wagon shopping-wise. I am trying to be 'good' now though had a small splurge online at babygap just now - I am a sucker for the free p&p offers blush
gum It does sound as if you're in a good place ttc-wise. I have to admit I am getting a teeny bit broody (was it you who said it struck at 10 mths??). Dh very much 'finished' now though, and tbh so am I probably...
Have all 5 at home today, with the hairdresser coming round at 1 to do my roots. That should be fun...Oh for the days of hair at a salon with a magazine and cuppa.

gothinrecovery Thu 09-Aug-12 08:51:19

Irish glad as all well had wondered how things were going. Lolfactor you give us all hope! Somewhere glad all was well at the docs.

CD24 for me and going by usual cycle 10dpo. Still running warm (I think) and for last couple of days have gagged while brushing my teeth in the morning (although weirdly not at night). Some mild cramping on 7dpo and 8dpo though none since. That said there are other things which make me think AF is going to come along so not going to get hopes up.

Irishmammybread Thu 09-Aug-12 09:33:45

lolfactor, Teddy is gorgeous! So cute.
My DD2 bit me while breastfeeding when she was about 12 mths and had teeth! The wound got infected and I've still got a scar!

hippychick66 Thu 09-Aug-12 09:53:37

Big hugs for Teddy the latest snug babe. LOL I have PMd you.

Diege your DH may have finished, but you sound like you're wavering a bit. (Hippy whispers - even numbers - and runs away!>

Diege Thu 09-Aug-12 12:40:18

Ahh 'wavering' is my middle name hippy grin I don't think dh would be totally set against, but not a brilliant time to even raise the possibility at the moment as he's very stressed with work, plus his mum is quite rapidly progressing Altzeimers sad. If I was 10 years younger I'm sure we'd at least try for a 6th (I do have a think about even numbers) but as it is I don't think I could bear the stress etc...I will live vicariously through you lot instead grin
Irish meant to say that's brilliant news about your scan - another nice milestone to get through xx

Paula2012 Thu 09-Aug-12 14:57:09

Hi everyone need a bit of advice. My history is 3 msc in last 3 yrs I am 44. Have been on this thread before but not for a while. Had my last msc in Nov, last couple of months have come on at 21 days usually about 28 days. Just wondering if I am pre menopausal? Which is annoying as I wanted another child. Difficult to tell if I am ovulating with a short cycle. Is it my age? Is this normal? Should I just stop ttc? I am very stressed! Sorry to go on just hoping someone else might have gone through the same thing any advice would be helpful...........

sparklysapphire Thu 09-Aug-12 16:35:41

hi everyone,
I'm trying to keep up but don't have much time to post. Congratulations somewhere on your BFP, good to get your first doctors visit done. Very exciting news about your donor tina, good luck. Irish sounds like everything is progressing nicely, so I hope you're a little bit less anxious. Good to hear from italian, and that your adoption journey can get under way. And also belated congratulations to marytheresa on the birth your little boy.
Diege & hopeful, good work with the shopping sprees! I work very close to Oxford Street and necessity has driven me there a couple of times in the last fortnight, so now I'm thinking maybe it's not so bad after all, as I've had no reason or inclination to go for the past few months, and it could be very bad indeed for my bank balance. Diege have the nocturnal adventures of your little ones stopped? DD has been visiting in the middle of the night for the past few nights for reasons that are unclear, so sleep has been lacking in our house too.
miasmum I hope you're really enjoying your Olympic experience. The way you talk about Mia is so lovely and eloquent <hugs>. DD and I went to an event early on & I was really impresssed by the volunteers, so you must be very pleased to be part of it all. Thank you for sharing the news about your friend, reassuring to know it can happen at 44! Knicky, how are you doing? Sounds like everything's ok so far, long may it continue!
Welcome catdoctor and good luck. I was very interested in flapjack's story, we won't be doing assisted conception, and I don't even know if it's worth going to the doctor's for tests as it's seems results can vary, so it's encouraging to know things can be turned round without medical intervention.

I'm currently doing battle with the Olympic ticket website in a desperate attempt to get tickets for anything that'll get us into the Olympic Park, and it's a very frustrating experience, no luck so far and I've been trying all week. I really wish I'd got an Olympic park ticket, but it didn't occur to me, but we have got Paralympic tickets.
I don't know what's going on with my cycle this month. I'm on CD29 of what I expect to be a 31/32 day cycle, but I don't have sore boobs (unlike almost 2 weeks of soreness last month) which is very unusual for me before AF. I have been getting quite a bit of cramping, which makes me think AF is on the way as I think the chances of getting pregnant this month are neglible due to DH being away so much. I think it's most likely that I haven't ovulated. Despite the BFN last month, I do think something may have happened, especially as I was still getting very light spotting on CD10, which again is unusual for me. Time will tell I suppose, as I'm not planning to test unless AF is several days late. We're off on holiday for 10 days on Sunday, really looking forward to that, so probably won't be posting again until we're back.
hi to angel, hopeful, blackcats, jolls, fireflies, lol, cuckoo, goth, pocket, hippy, JBrd, MrsW, kiwi, paula and apologies if I've missed anyone out, and also for yet another essay. xx

Just realised this is a TORCH not an ice cream! torch

Congratulations Marytheresa.

Thanks sparkly I am excited we can approach social services NEXT month.

hopefulgum and cuckoogirl thank you for your kind thoughts.

somewherebecomingrain Thu 09-Aug-12 22:51:41

good luck goth and sparkly and anyone else on 2ww!

i've just had some kind of sickness bug. i have it now. can't believe i'm on mumsnet. i am looking after DS and no support cause DP down in south london looking after MIL who has same illness.

diege long may your broodiness reign if it keeps you on here cheerleading. would love to see another diegette too...

italian how is your adoption process going? xx

blackcatsdancing Fri 10-Aug-12 09:10:56

lolfactor your baby is adorable! and just seen where you live. I lived in Watford from the age of 7 until i was adult and had close friends who lived in Berko, you may even know them, but i don't want to out myself. Small world. and lovely place to live i should add! I still remember the pub by the canal?, or maybe a river, anyway was lovely.

i've not been keeping up i'm afraid so missed stuff. Love the good news stories and was it Miasmummy who said her friend was pregnant? and then the author Gemmell with her late surprise, love those stories.

8DPO here and impatient.

somewherebecomingrain Fri 10-Aug-12 10:58:36

hey blackcatsdancing i know what you mean about outing yourself. I value the anonymity on here.

isn't lols baby cute - i love ginger babies.

feeling better today after my virus but less pregnant. boobs less sore, sickness less prominent. have just read a whole load of stuff on babycentre about how fever in early PG causes neural tube defects and MC - so feeling a touch concerned.


somewherebecomingrain Fri 10-Aug-12 12:01:32

i've delved into the day on which the neural tube forms - i think its not due to happen for a couple of days - day 20-22 - so fingers crossed bean is ok.

gothinrecovery Fri 10-Aug-12 12:47:02

Disappearing tonight for a 2 week holiday - definitely what I need. Good luck and hugs all round.

AF due next Tuesday so we will see what happens. Was feeling quite hopeful a couple of days ago but am not any more, don't think this was our month.

Somewhere, I hope that everything is okay and you are feeling better.

TinaO99 Fri 10-Aug-12 15:49:52

LOL what a lovely smiley baby and you look fabulous :-) italian good luck for next week, so excited for you

have a great holiday gotintherecovery somewhere hope all is well, try not to fret too much symptoms come and go I'm sure all will be ok.

hello to everyone else, I am starting my de-regging on day one of af which should be some time over the weekend, dreading the effect it might have on my mood but dh is prepared! All being well could be a transfer in 5-6 weeks time, fingers crossed!

Have a great weekend all, sun is going to be out and there's the closing ceremony to look forward to, boo will miss the olympics they've been great!

lolfactor Fri 10-Aug-12 16:40:53

OMG Tina your journey is really happening. Keep us posted and if the deregging gets to you, sound off in here. The snug is a safe place.

Blackcats - small world! Yes, off to the canalside pub this evening with dp to bask in sunshine.

Diege was thinking of cost cutting and having a home-hairdresser but I think you've summed it up. While I can, I should escape to the salon. Where else can you read Grazia without embarrassment/interruption?

Italian I was sure it was an ice-cream. Must get glasses...

Actually, that's a weird thing. My eyes have really gone funny since I've been pregnant. I know they say relaxin kicks in - and I suppose it will still be in my system - so I'm not sure I can go to the optician and get a prescription that will be accurate. One eye is very much more short-sighted now, and the speed with which I focus from distance to reading has really slowed. Probably age, but it's a bit of a co-incidence. Honestly, I'll do anything to pretend that ageing isn't happening. Really want to stay young at heart, though, for Teddy. I don't want him being ashamed of me when I pick him up at the school gates blush.

Thanks for all the lovely comments about Teddy. He's sleeping soundly (after screaming with rage for extra milk and being indulged: again).

wow, lots of things happening here while I am Olympic-king!! But hit the wall yesterday and cried in the loo, for no apparent reason other than being 22 weeks pg, missing Mia terribly, too hot, having blisters, tired and the final straw was that someone wasn't very nice to me... blush Today have the day off, and nursing my blisters and relaxing in the sunshine. sparkly hope you are successful in getting tickets, think the website is quite random in the way it seems to work!!

Loving the good news from tina and wishing italian a fantastic meeting next week with social services (wow, that does sound odd like that!!) Very excited about the advancing pgs for knicky, somewhere and irish - have I missed any? Sprinkling baby dust for those on the seemingly never-ending 2ww

paula just seen that you might still be waiting for some answers. I am 42, and think I was heading towards being peri-menopausal earlier this year as my cycle was suddenly going reducing from 27 days to 25 days in only a couple of months. So yes, guess age is a factor in cycle length. But I still managed to get a BFP in April, and there are plenty of others here like lol and diege who have their gorgeous babies... As for keeping on trying, only you can know if it's the right thing. It's a big decision, but there is plenty of advice and knowledge here about natural and assisted conception to help you. And lots of support. x

Diege Fri 10-Aug-12 19:16:04

Evening! Bistro open! The theme is 'Olympic Supper' so I will be ordering those tiny ring donuts with chocolate dipping sauce and some fried chicken and chips - ok, gone a bit off-theme, but I think that's allowed (within reason).
Somewhere please don't stress about loss of symptoms etc, or worry about development. Hormones dip and surge in the early days before the placenta takes over, and it's quite normal to feel relatively fine and lacking boob soreness etc for 3 or 4 days before it comes back (though doesn;t always come back and all well). Hope you can relax a little but do know how hard that can be xxx
Italian wow, really pleased that it all seems to be coming together now for you and that a social services visit is imminent. I'm am convinced you'll have your new LO very soon once the ball gets rolling xxx
MAM you poor thing, you deserve some extra yummy Olympic themed food (Greek banquet ok?) Hoping you can forget about that horrible comments person, put your feet up, and know that your lovely girl is looking out for you xxx
Paula, yes please don't give up hope - those of us who have been lucky enough to conceive in our 40s have variably had no EWM, short luteul phase, suspected progesterone deficiency etc etc, but did have successes so take heart from the fact that 'not textbook' doesn't always matter!
Tina will have everything crossed for you. You must feel a mixture of nerves and excitement xxx
Lol, oh yes, definitely keep to the salon. Tbh, the only reason I have mine done at home now is that my stylist left to go mobile after her dd was born, otherwise I'd be in the salon in a flash. Def not the same trying to rinse off your colour with a dodgy mixer tap and shreaks of 'Mummeeee!!!' from downstairs hmm
Goth have a wonderful holiday (anywhere hot?) and hopefully come back with some good news for us!
Right, get those orders in ladies - will order a large T-bone steak for cuckoo in her absence wink
Love to all - going to get withdrawal symptoms when the Olympics end I think!

lolfactor Fri 10-Aug-12 22:23:55

yum, Diege sounds lovely. I had a big lunch, so just going for the Olympic doughnut rings with the dipping sauce and a decaf latte with butterscotch. Think I might be heading for AF, with that kind of craving. Hey ho. Bring it on!

goldengirl70 Sat 11-Aug-12 00:57:02

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Diege Sat 11-Aug-12 07:22:49

That's good, I've been missing her wink
Lovely and sunny here today, so heading out to Chester to see a 'Thomas' park that the dds say ds1 will love (big fan).
Hope everyone's well and enjoying the weekend xx

hopefulgum Sat 11-Aug-12 09:22:10

Just want to mark my place. Sorry, haven't been here for a bit, but wanted to wish everyone the best.

Goth, sounds like you could use a holiday - hope it is lovely.

Tina - it's exciting to be embarking on the next step of your journey.

Hang in there Somewhere, I know how hard the early weeks are, but FTYAP(For Today You Are Pregnant)! Repeat that mantra,over and over...

I had a really lovely, long walk on the beach this morning, which was essential as DS3 is driving us all barmy at the mo. He will be 4 in a couple of weeks, and I feel like my darling boy has been possessed by a nasty, whining,stubborn,difficult, won't eat anything mum cooks,demon. I just don't know what to do with him. If he isn't being a limpit, clinging onto me for dear life, he is angry and lashing out because I won't comply to his orders. Might need to get an exorcism done I think...Luckily DH has taken him for a long,long walk at a remote beach. Hmm, perhaps he'll leave him thereshock

Honestly, his behaviour lately has had me wondering if I can do this all over again in about 5 years,if I have another baby. By then I'll be really old, and DH will be even older(he's 51 now, gasp!) and I just don't know if I could manage it. I think if I'd managed to get pregnant sooner these issues wouldn't really matter as much. I don't know - just trying to rationalise everything.

I also feel I don't want to take a baby on our little overseas holiday. I know that sounds silly, but I would prefer to have a relaxed holiday without the worry of a tiny baby. So if that's the case, I guess I won't be ttc for a few months. I can't really go overseas if I'm anything more than 7 months pregnant - ideally about 5 months would be fine. But how can I even plan at this age, getting pregnant is so hard anyway?confused

Oh, sorry, I was just going to drop in, but here I am thinking out loud.

smile have a lovely weekend, and enjoy the last of the olympicssmile

lotsofcheese Sat 11-Aug-12 23:09:23

Hello ladies - thought I'd tentatively join this thread. I've got a crappy obstetric history: DS born at 29 weeks due to severe PE, survived by the skin of his teeth, he's now 3.5 & wonderful.

After lots of soul-searching, we decided TTC last summer - was pregnant within a few months but it was unfortunately a molar pregnancy, requiring ERCP at 7wks.

After the compulsory 6 month wait, I got the all-clear to try again in Feb & was pregnant by my 40th in April. Had a scan in May at 8+5 with a good heartbeat, only to find that I had a mmc at 11.5 weeks (the heart had stopped a week after the scan)

The pathology & blood tests have come back clear, so we're TTC again, although I have lost so much confidence in my ability to ever have a normal pregnancy.

So here goes.....

Diege Sun 12-Aug-12 07:39:48

Bless you lots of cheese, you've been through such a lot. Hopefully this thread will provide lots of support and advice for you on your journey xx
Been up for a few hrs courtesy of ds1. Must try and get some preparation done on his bedroom today - decorator has sciatica so I'm going to do it myself (painting, no paper) - any tips/advoce from any seasoned decorators out there? Have got some cute transfers to put on over paint, but seems a very daunting job at the moment.
Love to all - very quiet on here at the moment!

Diege Sun 12-Aug-12 07:43:04

Meant to say Gum that if you did have another baby you would do more than cope with the tiredness etc, so don't go down that road missus wink I know it seems a daunting prospect thinking of age etc (my dh is approaching 51) but I do beleive that the extra experience, pateience etc that you would both have would more than make up for a few short (long at the time) months of sleep deprivation xxx
I'm going to try and upload a new picture of ds2 (9 mths now) onto my profile.

Diege Sun 12-Aug-12 08:04:06

Two more recent piccies added at top of photo list smile

goldengirl70 Sun 12-Aug-12 10:17:56

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hopefulgum Sun 12-Aug-12 11:48:15

Deige, they are lovely. Just gorgeous.
Now, why did you have to do that when I'm coming to terms with not having any more??? I think you are right - I'd cope, and as I near ovulation time, I'm wondering if I'll be able to stop myself from ttc...

Lotsofcheese, YOu have had a rough time of it, I know there is plenty of wonderful support on this thread, so stick around.

goldengirl, hoping your temp stays up and you get the bfp you want.

blackcatsdancing Sun 12-Aug-12 13:20:55

Diege really lovely children.

goldengirl testing at 11 DPO can be too early. Also your temp really needs to be up for 18 consecutive days before it signifies pregnancy. My temp usually stays high until the day before AF . But if your luteal phase is short then i can see why you're taking the high temp as possibly meaningful- in which case i'll keep my snout out!

lotsofcheese Sun 12-Aug-12 14:22:09

Thanks for your kind messages, by a law of averages I'm due some good luck - however my mindset is going to be that I have very low expectations & I think that will help me.

Goldengirl a molar pregnancy is when you release a "blank" egg, with no genetic material, which means the pregnancy is incompatible with life & m/c occurs - however the placenta grows abnormally with potentially-malignant cells, which must be removed by ERCP. After surgery, you have to be followed up for a minimum of 6 months, to ensure the cells haven't regrown - if they have, it's chemo sad. I thankfully didn't need it.

goldengirl71 Sun 12-Aug-12 16:59:13

Gum, thanks for that.

Lotsofcheese, that sounds horrible - and I'm so very sorry. What a relief you didn't need chemo.

Blackcats, you are perfectly right, of course. I can't understand why I am still temping and scrutinising charts and doing pregnancy tests. I ovulate on the same day each month and have a luteal phase of 13 days (was 14 before the miscarriage) so I don't know why I'm putting myself through temping. I hate it. I am even more miserable after reading an article in today's magazine where a childless woman expresses her sorrow: "Mums are the luckiest people on earth...I can't tell you how painful not having a child is. It is overwhelming to know that my legacy ends with me. So no 'family gathering' photos of me and mine with my siblings and theirs; no proudly watching my kid grow up; no natural place in life's cycle. You, mums, have created the next generation. A new wonderful lineage - of children and probably grandchildren - who are yours and you are theirs. [A friend, also childless, told her]: 'You won't heal - because this is deep in you. What you're supposed to do. What's inside us to do. What we're born to do. And you didn't do it.' [The author was 46 before she seriously looked into her fertility and was told she had left it too late] She finishes: "I will never be pregnant, never be protected by the father of my child, never be loved as the mother of his child, never love like you [mums] love, and never be loved as you are loved. I will never mean as much to anyone as you do. Imagine that, mums. Believe me, you don't know you're born".

After reading this article I burst into tears and DP couldn't console me. She has written exactly how I feel. And I feel so terribly lonely. I am sick of living my life in fortnightly segments - the two weeks awaiting ovulation and then 'the two week wait'. I am afraid I will never have children - in fact I am almost certain of it. The ache is sometimes too much to bear and I don't know how not to temp & chart. I don't know how not to come on here for help or to hear other stories. Are there any other women on this thread who are childless? Please, please give me some advice because I'm seriously distraught today - particularly after reading this heartbreaking article. The loneliness I have started to feel inside is really quite disturbing to me.

blackcatsdancing Sun 12-Aug-12 17:06:39

i read that in the Guardian a while ago or at least it sounds just like it. Did you read it online? if not there are a huge amount of replies giving very different views, from those who completely identify with her to others who point out a different way of looking at thing. Here's the link if you didn't see it there.

somewherebecomingrain Sun 12-Aug-12 17:33:07

goldengirl71 you are right you need to hear from other childless women - maybe there's a thread for it or you could start one.

I remember when I thought I'd never have children and my plan was to devote myself to environmentalism as a way of being a parent to the children of the entire planet in a way their parents were probably too busy to do.

I also know lots of women who thought they'd never have children and then do. I met a lovely woman in the park who had twins at 48. IVF I presume, and donor eggs, but it can be done.

xxxxxxxxx big hugs we're all in this together - one human race

goldengirl71 Sun 12-Aug-12 20:31:42

Somehow, thank you.

Blackcats, the article I read was in today's 'You' magazine but after reading your link they obviously nicked it from the Guardian. I am so pleased to have read those replies. I feel like I've been metaphorically slapped in the face. I really must turn on its head this notion that, without children, I am nothing - and my life is meaningless.

Thanks again for the clarity.

Thanks all , we can formally approach social services next month.

Hugs to all.

10000Fireflies Mon 13-Aug-12 00:56:52

Morning all

Wasn't the Olympics closing ceremony great?! Annoyed with self - missed the opportunity to play with the Olympic emoticon. Poppet has been keeping me far too busy for catching up with you lot. Scanned thread really quickly and far too much to catch up with yet!! Still, noticed my stats need updating. Angel and Hippy hope you like the categories I have created for you. Lol I have put you in the grads too.

Twirlyagogo dc1, dc2, mc, mc, dc3, mc x 2.

Italiangreyhound, 47.DD aged 7 (from IUI), MMC 2006, IUI/IVF/Donor IVF - failed. FET donor cycle March 2012 also failed. Looking at all options, including adopting.

Hopefulgum, 45. ttc#6, 3 mcs
Purple Dragon, 39. 1 adopted child; now ttc biological child.
mrscupcake, 42. First pg age 36 ended at 14 wks due to chromosomal abnormalities, ds born 2007 now 5, mmc June 2011, mmc now - ERPC.
kiwibabe, 43. DC1 at 41. TTC DC2.
TinaO99 , failed IUIs; considering natural IVF.
blackcatsdancing44 . TTC second, first is an adult . Had a MMC earlier this year and hoping to have better luck next time.
sparklysapphire, 44 DD (4) , TTC #2
Incaminka, 42. Three mmcs, 6 weeks, 14 weeks and 8 weeks.
luckyagain, 42. Conceived DS via ICSI when 41. BFP in February and told expecting twins.... lost the hb on one at 7 weeks and the 2nd at 9 weeks. Now trying naturally after ERPC.
RetroMaggie. First dd was IVF after 5 years of ttc. One mc since at 7 wks and a possible very early miscarriage.
MaisieM, 42. TTc first with DH. Came off the CP in August 2010 and DH had a vasectomy reversal last June and has been tested since and all seems ok with the 'swimmers'.
Curlylox needs updating
Somewhere, 40 DS1 2009, trying for 9 months to conceive #2. 1 poss CP.

MiaAlexandrasmummy, 42. Sad loss of 13-month old only DD who was conceived naturally. Now pregnant naturally with DC2.
marytheresa Due date for DS is 25/7/12.
Jollster, 44 - 1 DS (4) TTC#2 since June 2009, 3MMCs 2 early MCs. Now 24 weeks.
clickingtock (aka Beangrower) 42. DS1. BFP after 16 months TTC DC2.
Knickyknocks, 40. Had DD at 37 - had 2 chem pgs since and 1 m/c. TTC #2
irishmammybread ??
MrsWooster, 45, DS(2)

Diege, 42, ds2 born October 2011, 10 months trying. Dc number 5! Samuel born happily in the snug.
Beattiebow (BB) 41 - just had #6. 2 miscarriages, several chemical pregnancies. Preg after 16 months trying. Used CBFM and Progesterone. (tried temping and clomid also).
Shandybass - 41 , 3 mcs, then DD delivered safely, if a little late!
Herecomesthesun - DS1 at 44, DD at 47 - both conceived naturally. PCOS and went on metformin, which apparently can help reduce the risk of recurrent miscarriage. Was recommended vit B supplements such as pyridoxine (B6) and B12 and also folic acid 5mg daily (DH's family have history of mild spina bifida type defects).
Hairytale - 43, 3 mcs, then DD, naturally conceived.
Fifitot, 47. Had DC1 at 43 and DC2 at 47.
spottysox, 44. DD1 - Labour was 51 minutes from start to finish.
TTT, 41. Sadly lost DD1, aged 3. DD2 conceived naturally after 15 months and delivered safely in the snug.
10000Fireflies - 43, blocked tube, x 2 failed IVF cycles. First ever (spontaneous) pregnancy led resulted in baby Fireflies (boy), born 21st June 2012. Hoping to join TTCers soon when stop BFing. Lolfactor, 46, DS1 and 2 and DD now grown up. DS3 (with new partner) took 2.5 years (on and off) to conceive naturally. 3 x cp and 1 x mc at 5 weeks. DS3, Teddy, arrived safely in June. (so that will make 4 plus a stepdaughter)

Hippychick, 45. DS1 and DS2 conceived in 30s, then decided to ttc at 43. Successful after 5 months but unfortunately MMC; got pregnant again after 3 months - again MC. No BFP since and trying to move on.

Angelgeorgie, 41, DD (Phoebe) born 18/10/11 after 4 years of ttc. 2 MC s & Darling Georgie ( stillborn at 41 weeks 10/10/10).


OMG, he eats soooo much. He was 9.5 llbs at birth. Dread to think what he is now. Combination feeding - give him two small bottles of formula a day max. Thought it might also give me a chance to start TTC again sooner rather than later, but have to say had mixed feelings when I thought AF had returned. Actually, was just a bit more Lochia as have recently started increasing exercise. Don't mind waiting a bit. Increased break from horrendous PMS welcome. Not too sure about state of insides either. Visible scar a work of art, but insides feel like a total mess. Don't fancy my chances of having DC2. Plus, am getting older... 43 on Weds....

I need to get myself to bed. Gorgeous little snuggly DS has been asleep for a few hours now in his Moses Basket which is rare, so I am making the most of a break from looking after him or doing housework.

Hugs to all! FF xx

hippychick66 Mon 13-Aug-12 08:22:59

FF - great to hear from you. Glad your little bundle of joy is doing so well. My boys were 9.5 and 9. - always big strong boys - no harm in that, my love. Just plenty to squidge. Fount of knowledge ???? LOL, not so sure!!! Take care. X

Italian - all the very best for this new journey, sweetie. X

somewherebecomingrain Mon 13-Aug-12 08:39:14

Italian good luck with it - want to hear all about it.

somewherebecomingrain Mon 13-Aug-12 08:40:51

1000fireflies it sounds so exciting - how is he sleeping?

thanks for the updated list

i'm preggo now (for today) - will update at some point

blackcatsdancing Mon 13-Aug-12 08:57:20

goldengirl i'm glad reading those replies helped you a little.

FF thanks for updating the list!

blackcatsdancing Mon 13-Aug-12 09:47:18

does anyone have experience/knowledge of evaporation lines?? i tested today, i'm either 11,12 or 13DPO depending on which method fertility friend uses- my signs were all over the place this month. Test was negative but i left it out, went to chuck it away an hour later and saw faint line. An evap line is meaningless isn't it? i need to test again in a couple of days don't i?

blackcatsdancing Mon 13-Aug-12 09:49:37

also- i never get strong positives early, my body takes a while to process hCG. i'm not hopeful though.

goldengirl71 Mon 13-Aug-12 10:21:25

Blackcats, when I was pregnant, the doctor's test was negative until I got it home 30 minutes later (he just shoved me out of his surgery saying I wasn't pregnant so I asked him for the stick). How exciting for you!!

blackcatsdancing Mon 13-Aug-12 10:52:55

goldengirl that's interesting. i will allow a tiny bit of hope and test again tomorrow/wed. My due date for MMC was today so would be meaningful to get a positive this week.

Diege Mon 13-Aug-12 11:15:33

blackcats, I know you're not supposed to read anything into lines that appear after the testing 'window', but I have only ever had a late-appearing line, or indeed an evaporation line (which tend to be very thin and grey) when I have been pregnant. Fingers corssed xxx
fireflies thanks for the list - I love your category for Hippy who is indeed very wise and an ever comforting presence smile. Ds sounds gorgeous - big babies rock (my ds1 was 9.8) and are super cuddly and cute. Take your time with thinking about ttc, though my instinct would be to go for it grin It would be a lovely age gap (15 mths between my ddd1 and 2, def my easiest and most favourite of gaps). I know things aren't quite so easy for us at this age though.
At work at the moment which is dead, as everyone on leave. Might sneak off to the gym soon and then a scout round the charity shops (my guilty pleasure) this afternoon. Better show my face in the staff office first!
Love to all xxx

goldengirl71 Mon 13-Aug-12 15:49:56

Blackcats, I'm sorry today's date is rubbish for you. I hope your next test delivers sweet revenge smile

I'm 12DPO today with a lower temp and a chin full of what appears to be pizza sad

TinaO99 Mon 13-Aug-12 16:42:27

thanks lol diege and gum I used my first injection yesterday and already and in pmt hell - I have 21 days of this before I can even have a csna - not sure my dh can take it, hopefully it'll all settle down after a bit. I've also been feeling terribly sad when i thought I'd gotten over it as I so wanted a baby that was part me and part dh I felt like weeping. It's irrational as it will still be part me but I think I'm still grieving for the fact I can't have my own anymore and feeling a bit useless to be honest.

golden my heart goes out to you, what an awfully sad story you read I felt like crying just reading your re-telling of it! Have you considered donor eggs at all? Sorry if you've already mentioned this in a previous post and I've missed it!

on a different note what did everyone think of the closing ceremony? I feel like I'm the only one who didn't think that much of it! The opening ceremony was so good though I think it would be hard to top it!

goldengirl71 Mon 13-Aug-12 17:56:00

Tina, I hope your PMT symptoms subside soon....not sure what your injection was for or what csna is, but I know you've found your egg donor and I wish you the very best result. Don't worry about the grief you feel that this baby would 'not be yours'. That will dissipate, for sure, when she or he joins your family. I would grab the opportunity for a donated egg were I to discover that mine are defunct but DP & I can't afford assisted conception. Hopefully it won't come to that hmm Sorry that article upset you....hard to read isn't it? I fight very hard, at times, that little voice which tells me I will be nothing if I don't become a mother. I have to believe the universe holds great things in store for those who remain childless and for those who yearn to feel 'complete' in all sorts of ways.

The closing ceremony? Ah. I found it remarkably dull and such a shame that the legends Annie Lennox & George Michael chose to mime (I also missed the end with Take That, whom I love). Timothy Spall was unintelligible, Kate Moss & Naomi Campbell had no damned place in that ceremony, and I resent the likes of Mel B, Posh Spice & Naomi boosting their profiles on the back of the London Olympics when they choose not to live or pay taxes in this country. I thought Elbow were atrocious. And who decided to showcase Russell Brand as an ambassador for Britain?! Jessie J saved the day with her huge voice and uusual spunky performance. But the star of the show? Freddie Mercury! And, of course, we have much to be thankful for...Macca wasn't performing wink

goldengirl71 Mon 13-Aug-12 18:29:12

Oh great. My period has just arrived. Two days early. That means I had an eleven day luteal phase sad

AngelGeorgie Mon 13-Aug-12 21:47:31

Italian good luck xxx
FF thanks very much for my own catogry... Xxx your boy sounds fabulous.. My Phebs always ate lots & she's just perfect ... You sound very content .. Just lovely to hear xxxx
Blackcat maybe wait a few days & re test??? ( staring the bloody obvious) !!!
Good luck fx for u ..
Somewhere wish I had " patented" my saying but YES today you are pg.. Good luck xxc
Hi all, love to all, welcome to newcomers ... This is a lovely supportive thread & hopefully you ll all recieve ad much support as I have... Good luck all xxx
Hi to my old muckers " Diege*, Gum & Hippy xxxxxxxx

hippychick66 Mon 13-Aug-12 22:26:34

Tina - I know our very own dear Italian has been where you are and I'm sure she will be happy to give you relevant advise. Good luck to you, sweetie. X

Big wave for Georgie and Pheobe's mummy. X

hopefulgum Tue 14-Aug-12 00:41:23

Hello back to the lovely Angelgeorgie.

I don't even now what cycle day I'm at. I am still temping, but not really taking much notice, I think I may be feeling very relaxed about it all now. I've just shed the last of my maternity wear on ebay and it actually feels very good. Besides, if I get pregnant again, I want nice new stuffwink.

I think ovulation may happen soon, but not doing opks.

I didn't see the closing ceremony. I have hardly watched the olympics this time round. I guess I must be going through an intensely busy time, because I don't seem to have time. Last time I really enjoyed watching it, but this time it has flashed past.

Tina, sorry you are feeling awful, but just hang in there and remember it will all be worth it when your little one joins your family.

goldengirl- sorry about AF.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 14-Aug-12 10:14:18

aren't diege and hopefulgum flirting with the lucky star category? its a great category.

AddictedtoCrunchies Tue 14-Aug-12 12:24:00


Not sure I'm in the right place but I'm 42 in two weeks and just about to start trying for DC2. Is it OK if I lurk on the edges as you seem to be well established?

A friend advised me to use the ovulation sticks which I've started today (Day 6) but I'm not really any more scientifically prepared than that. Thought I'd wait for the line then grab DH and get down to it. Have also started taking folic acid.

Has anyone get any better advice than that or am I starting off in the right way?

DS1 is 4.5 and just about to start school. I've had this overwhelming urge in recent weeks to have another. I don't want to wake up in ten years and not have given it a go so, although we're stuck in a two bed we can't sell, we both have good jobs and I have a good mat package so thought we'd give it a try.

Off on h

lotsofcheese Tue 14-Aug-12 13:59:57

Afternoon ladies! I'm 11 dpo (I think) & having spotting/cramping. But my cycle is so messed up after m/c so am trying not to read into it too much.. Trying to step away from Dr Google too......

goldengirl71 Tue 14-Aug-12 14:40:54

Hello, crunchies. I can highly recommend if you seriously want to know how your cycles work, how they can differ from month-to-month and when to have the best-timed sex. It involves taking your basal body temperature (BBT) each morning (you can get the digital thermometer for a couple of quid off Amazon) and recording it on your fertilityfriend chart. It's proved invaluable for lots of women whose cycles can no longer be regularly predicted (ie. us over 40s!) You could also google the Sperm Meets Egg Plan. Really, really simple but surprisingly exhausting for some. You really have to actually fancy your husband for this to work wink

Lotsofcheese, so difficult after a miscarriage not to feel massively impatient. My thoughts are with you.

Well, after having only produced a tiny bit of brown stuff yesterday when I said my period had arrived, I input that information as 'spotting' on fertilityfriend. Is this correct? Has my new cycle only started today with real bleeding? Fertilityfriend seem to think so as they've started a new chart only today - which means my luteal phase last month was 12 days, not 11. Bit of an improvement, although I'd rather it was back to my usual 14. Is it usual for luteal phease length to differ each month by one or two days, or is that another anomaly only the over-40s have to endure? [sighs]

AddictedtoCrunchies Tue 14-Aug-12 15:33:12

Thanks goldengirl. Had a look at FF and entered all my bits and pieces. Am going to continue with sticks and CM monitoring for this month and see how I get on.

What is OPK?

goldengirl71 Tue 14-Aug-12 16:50:49

Crunchies, OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit (the strips you're using). When you get a line as dark as, or stronger, than the control line, it means your luteinizing hormone has surged. This indicates that ovulation will usually take place within the next 24-36 hours. It's recommended that you have intercourse on the day of the surge and for two days after (to cover all bases). The Sperm Meets Egg Plan recommends you start having regular intercourse before your OPK detects a surge, however, in order to cover the whole of your potentially fertile window. If you haven't read Zita West's Guide To Getting Pregnant I recommend you buy it from Amazon. It's a really simple read but will open your eyes to the amount of stuff you actually don't know about your cycle. Hope this helps.

AddictedtoCrunchies Tue 14-Aug-12 17:04:07

That's great - thanks. It's a whole new language to learn! I really appreciate your advice. I'm a sad geek and have a 'ttc' notebook and I'm writing down everything you tell me (I'm a Virgo - I like a nice list).

hippychick66 Tue 14-Aug-12 23:02:15

Goldengirl - I always had spotting for a few days before my period started and Fertility friend never started a new cycle until I put at least a light bleed in. I think 12 days luteal phase is ok.

Addictedtocrunchies - never let the number of bedrooms you have stop you from chasing your dreams.
Tina - hoping those hormones are not to manic. X