12 months on and most people on my TTC thread are pregnant so I'm starting a new one! Come and join me if you've been TTC a while or are TTC after pregnancy loss... we've been through it all!

(1000 Posts)
iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 09:39:41

iloveberries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. Will be starting TTC again after my next AF.

Still following the ladies on my original TTC thread but most of them are now pregnant so whilst I'm delighted for them I wanted to start a new place for those who have been TTC for a while and are still awaiting a healthy, sticky bean in the right place.

All welcome..... nothing if off limits, nothing is TMI, no 'babydust' though please

<clambers into new shiny thread>
<finds nice soft cushion>
<makes some brews and brandishes some jammy dodgers>

Berries hello grin

oooooh nice new thread here. very nice.

And yes, definitely NO babydust <retches at thought of the vile stuff>

When is AF due my dear?

Shall we start a stat list? <gets pen and paper out, poised and ready>

BFP

Dtd or waiting to Dtd
iloveberries (31) DH 32, DS 2 yrs. TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed - AF due?????

Waiting to POAS
Mooleywooleyshamalamadingdong (30) DH (31). TTC #1 for a year. 1 chem, PCOS - AF possibly due 20th May

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 10:22:32

aah moo - you're so enthusiastic - i love it!
Af due on saturday.

I know.....it makes me feel like I am doing something and in control of something, especially when i can't control my body.

Have just been on a PCOS TTC thread and there is some very interesting reading on there for me. I have ordered a shed load of tests and 2 PCOS books (wish I had done this months ago) and I am going to try my best to lose some weight, eat a lot bit better and see if that has any affect. Sometimes life gets in the way though, but apparently PCOS is a bugger of a condition, so maybe it's time i helped myself.

I am potentially due on Saturday as well, although with my mammoth cycles, that could be a Saturday in August grin

simperingsally Tue 15-May-12 11:00:04

Hi all, I have been ttc for 6 months now.. can i join too?
I was so disapointed this morning when i woke up with my period.

simperingsally Tue 15-May-12 11:04:45

Im 22, DH 27, DD 2 yrs TTc #2 for 6 months

hello Simpering welcome aboard.

It's always very disappointing when she rears her head, but I like to think that the next cycle is shiny and new and that there will be a BFP at the end of it.

<I am clearly delusional though, as I don't ovulate very regularly grin>

simperingsally Tue 15-May-12 11:54:08

Thanks mooley!
I'm also very delusional optimistic aout next month.
am online right now trying to work out weather Pre-seed or Concieve Plus is the way to go.
Any advice?

I have only used Pre-Seed; great for a quicky over the fertile period when, for me, sex can get a little business-like, not sure it helped in getting me pg, but last month i did get several a BFP but sadly lost it not long after.

Really easy to use, i tend to save the applicators for when i definitely know I am ovulating (with Pre-Seed you only get 9), and at other times, i just apply using my finger blush

Countmyblessings Tue 15-May-12 13:54:53

Thanks for invite ilove!

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 14:01:40

HI simpering and welcome along. Sorry #2 is taking a little while for you. I bought some pre-seed the other day after reading that conceive plus could be very sticky. Someone on another thread told me the natural CM is best but i guess preseed can't do any harm.

Glad you found us count

simperingsally Tue 15-May-12 16:12:41

Thanks for the advice. Im just going to order some now will try the CP.. as its a bit cheaper and Ive been reading online and they do seem to be equally good.

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 16:18:28

well we can do a live experiment then! One with pre-seed, one with Conceive plus... Although being a decade older than you with half the tubes I think I'm starting from a distinct disadvantage so maybe not!!!

simperingsally Tue 15-May-12 16:38:33

grin ilove
maybe not a good idea. Im really trying to loose weight though im not my best shape.
I had hyperemesis with dd and went down to a size 10 but managed to put it back on. started doing zumba yesterday.

grin at Berries

Ladies, some advice if you would; as we all know, I have PCOS, and with PCOS you are advised not to use OPKs because LH is always present in some form due to the high amounts of the hormone.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, FF has me at 11dpo today. I POAS at 9dpo because i had one IC left, I was feeling a bit weird and I am a POAS-aholic blush anyway, it wasn't with FMU but there was definitely something light and ghost like that came up. I have disregarded this. Anyway, today i have been headachy, crampy and have awful heartbutn and as I am working from home, I thought what the hell, I have loads of OPKs, I am going to P on one. So i did. It's positive. I don't think I have ever gotten a positive before. But i have PCOS, so it could just be stupid high amounts of LH, or i could be ovulating, or...........

I don't have any other tests in the house, i can;t leave the house because I am waiting on TNT to call with a parcel and I am working myself up into a sweat grin

In other news though, I have decided to not go to the interview for the job that i didn't really want tomorrow. It was only slightly more money than I am on now and it has made me realise that I am actually happy where I am.

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 16:48:45

a positive OPK moo or a BFP?????????

Only a positive OPK Berries if it was a BFP i would be more excited.

I wish it was a BFP though..........

I don't think it will be though.

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 17:04:36

moo - i'm gonna be harsh now.... Stop pissing on sticks!!!
You said in the first line of your post that with PCOS you're not supposed to. So you're causing yourself unecessary stress, wondering, worrying etc with all this weeing! just stop. I know it's hard..... put.the.sticks.away.

grin thanks berries i haven't peed on anything for so long though. I couldn't resist. I have stoped. I promise. Thank god I have no HPTs in the house. DH would come home to find them everywhere grin

right.........i have had my moment of madeness. Back to normal it is with me. Was a nice distraction from work for a bit though!!

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 17:28:38

thanks for listening.
i am now going to be the preacher of relaxed TTC easy to say when i'm not officially trying for another 3 weeks

You were right....... and it was just what i needed.

Yes, relaxed approach seems the way forward; trust me it's easy to say even when your in the middle of TTC. Doing is always so much harder.

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 17:42:13

i know mate. not looking forward to the militant bonking that comes with being in the 2nd year of TTC

Oh crikey no; not that i don't like sex, but EOD 3 times a week and more over the fertile period............it's too much. Apart from just wanting to be pg, more than anything i want to not shag as much.

If you had asked me that 5 years ago, i would have been like "no, give me more!!" grin

CountryKitty Tue 15-May-12 18:10:10

Hi girsl, can I join too?

DH & I both 31, 2DC, ttc no3 for 5 months. 2MC @ 7 & 5 weeks in that time.

AF due tomorrow and getting signs that it is now on it's way. Didn't really think I was pg this month (DH away over time I thought I Ov'd) but still gut wrenching to have it confirmed. Only consolation is I didn't waste any £££ tests this month.

Don't know what approach to take next month.... Cycle is a bit messed up after mc's and not too sure when actually ovulate. Cycles still regular at 25 days, but think my LP has shortened. Used to be 11 days so not much room to shorten. Was thinking of doing temps - anyone tried this approach?

Not wanting to do opk as already have a POAS problem and don't want to encourage this anymore than have to!

Ps Dont like touchy feely 'baby dust' either.

Moo get a proper test to PO!! IC are always so crap!

CountryKitty Tue 15-May-12 18:12:50

HaHa Moo Ditto re the shagging! i have no idea when my fertile period is so last month tried to dtd eod-ish - so tiring! Will be nice to have a break over AF!!

simperingsally Tue 15-May-12 18:54:00

yes moo agree r the shagging!! And im only 22 grin

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 19:55:17

HI country - welcome to you and so sorry to hear about your m/cs.
I tried temping but to be honest it was such a faff and as you already have DC you may find your temps get messed up by getting up in the night to them (assuming you're still doing that).

Your approach to getting pg is obviously working - i would carry on doing what you're doing and next time it will be a sticky bean. This is gonna be a lucky thread. Overpromising on page one is a bold move by berries but i can feel it!

iloveberries Tue 15-May-12 19:55:58

we haven't been shagging much since my ectopic so i am quite enjoying all the extras at the moment - i give it a couple of months till i'm over it

RightUpMyRue Tue 15-May-12 20:27:35

Hello fellow bored with TTCers smile mind if I join your thread? Afraid i fit right in here, in the nicest possible way.

RightUpMyRue 33, DP 31, DD age 9, been TTC #2 for 14 cycles (18 calender months, on a break from TTC for 3 months and long cycles means 18 loooong months) 1 m/c on cycle 11.

I'm currently 6 DPO (and am having some exciting cramping which always turns out to be nothing but wind!) and we've used conceive plus this cycle. I really like it, it's not particularly sticky, more watery. It's very lubricative!

I've started charting properly this cycle, here's my chart, if want to have a look <proud>. I've found it very reassuring to see the temp shift and to see that tie in with the +ve OPK and both of them tying in with when FF reckons OV was. Nice to know things are happening in the right way. If any of you aren't temping I really recommend it.

DP was away right throughout my most fertile time this cycle though <astoundingly bad timing> but I think we managed to catch the end of OV so hopefully it will be OK.

Welcome Rue and Kitty yey it's good to see this thread getting nice and settled in, but in the nicest way. Obviously I wish we were all on a pg board. But for now, hello smile

I temp, and if my temp drops again tomorrow my crosshairs disappear (although I'm expecting that to be honest). Will see what happens, should hopefully start Clomid next month so that'll see me right grin

Have everything crossed for you Rue that you caught that egg. Chart looks lovely smile

RightUpMyRue Tue 15-May-12 20:49:36

It's so daft but I really like to look at it. Have no idea why but I do <silly> smile

smile so do I grin it makes me feel better.

What doesn't make me feel better is the fact that one my friends has just announced that she is pg AND she got married way after me (like me she wanted to wait until married) I just feel like its never going to happen sad feeling very low and find it hard to cope.

I'll feel better tomorrow smile

Munchin Tue 15-May-12 21:42:02

Hi ladies. Can I join?

I'm 40 sad but i have 2dc , ttc #3 for 8 mths and it is just 3 wks since I had an erpc for a mmc. Waiting to get back to normal so not ttc at moment.

CountryKitty Tue 15-May-12 22:23:36

Hi all,

It's so sad to hear about all the mc's. It's such a horrible time isn't it?

Rue Your chart has inspired me to try temping next month!

Iloveberries My DC are 7 & 4 and so they tend to sleep through the night now- or DH gets up!! I think I'll give it a try and see how I get on. Terrified that my LP was maybe only 9 days this month if AF comes tomorrow as expected so want to find out what's happening.

Moo I find it so hard when someone in RL announces a pregnancy even when I'm so happy for them. My heart skips a beat and time stands still. Fingers crossed you get reassurance tomorrow.

RightUpMyRue Tue 15-May-12 22:24:24

Mooley sad it is hard sometimes, really hard to congratulate others, who have seemingly had a breeze of a time TTC, enjoyed it even! When I was feeling like that a while ago I came on MN and had a moan and someone said something that really helped at the time. She said it was important to remember that there isn't a quota of babies and once they've gone no one else gets one. If we just keep on trying and maximizing our chances by being healthy, temping etc then we will get our babies.

RightUpMyRue Tue 15-May-12 22:27:43

Kitty, excellent news re trying charting. I'm disappointed that I haven't started until now, I wish I'd done it months ago. Still, no point in looking back smile

Morning ladies..........as promised, i do feel better today. It's always a shock but like you said Rue we will get there and at least we have all this fantastic support.

Thankfully temp went back up this morning. Yey smile but i am feeling a bit crampy. I am also becoming very forgetful too, left the house this morning without my purse, couldn't find my bank card because i'd forgotten i'd left it in the glove box. Don't know where the light balsamic dressing is for my salad for lunch. It's the little things.

Welcome Munchin sorry to hear about your loss but this is going to be a lucky thread, i just know it. We are here to support you when you are ready to TTC again.

ihateshopping Wed 16-May-12 08:22:15

can I join? my Depo-Provera injection ran out in the beginning of april, so i guess we have been ttc since then! i know it is not very long but i am SO bloody excited!

I had 4 injections after 3 yrs with the implant, so i have not had a proper period in 4 yrs ish.

I have no idea what is going on with my body, no period as yet.

If and when we get pg it will be my first! (and last)

Munchin Wed 16-May-12 08:47:21

Thank you mooley.

Girls yous are great for going the temping. I can understand as it gives you a feeling of power/ doing something. But oh boy go I hate temping. I did temp and use ff when ttc dc#1 and I know the rises and falls in temps did work and show when AF was due. Also the month I got pg I got an implantation dip and temps soared up after it. But I don't think I could face all that again. On dc#2 I just used opks and I think that's what I'll try again.

iloveberries Wed 16-May-12 08:53:14

Hi all and welcome!

Sorry to hear about your loss munchkin - what a horrible time for you. I hope DH and DCs are providing you with strength at this hard time.

Just a thought about those ladies who get pg very easily. I also find it difficult when people announce pregnancies.... as moo knows, the 5 other ladies who were in my NCT group when I had DS all conceived their DC2 within 1-3 months of trying and all have their DC2s at home now and it is very tough. though i am a bit smug about the fact my life is relatively easy compared to theirs and i get a full night's sleep, every night I found this soooo hard, more so when they were announcing the pregnancies. My cousin announced she is due when I would have been had i not had the EP and I find it hard going through her milestones with her as we are close. So basically i get that it is shit but, i do have a point here, just cause people get pregnant and hold onto babies easily it doesn't mean their lives are easy. one of my mates is having serious marriage problems, another one can barely afford food for her family so life's not exactly great for them. Everyone has their challenges in life and mine seem to be around having DC2. But I will get there, and so will you all. This is just a little rockly patch in life smile

I am awaiting another preggo announcement which i am sure is coming at the weekend.... I will see how strong i can be there!!

moo glad you're feeling better today love. Be postitive, remember

Megan8888 Wed 16-May-12 09:05:10

Hello I am brand new to these types of sites so I have no idea what most of the abbreviations mean. I am 23 and have been TTC for 15 months. Been to the doctors who did blood tests all normal and then said try would not do any more tests until I reach two years. Finding it hard not to get down from it all. Anyone have any advice on how to my let it get me down

TotallyUnsure Wed 16-May-12 09:09:23

HI can i please join? - TTC 12/13 months - M/C in Feb i'm 28 DH is 33. Suspected endometriosis since i was 14

been to the Doc's this week - headed for the dreaded fertility tests

can i please talk to normal people! i dont have anyone in RL i can talk about this with (except DH) and i t is getting me down to my boots!

CountryKitty Wed 16-May-12 09:25:51

Berries Well said! Everyone does have their own individual struggles and I've found that just sometimes these happy and apparently 'carefree' pg announcements/ 'perfect families' gloss over the fact that the couple took a while to conceive or were helped along with assisted conceptions etc. Since talking about the mc with some close friends they have confided that things didn't run so smoothly for them either, but only just now have said so. It's such a shame that fertility / mc are such taboo subjects still. Thank goodness for mumsnet!

Hi Megan Welcome to the thread. Sorry you're feeling so frustrated. That's terrible of the doctor to fob you off with 2 years! Can you go back and beg for investigations? Friends of ours are a little older than you and are getting artificial insemination this month after ttc 20 months. Really hope it works out for them. She is the only person who I want to be pg before me!

Well AF due today but as yet no show. Have cramping and lower back pain, but not the usual bloatedness or sore boobs, just tingly. Had tiny amount of spotting last night so pretty sure AF will start later today. Not tested as a BFN will be more upsetting than AF arriving.

simperingsally Wed 16-May-12 11:23:00

Hello everyone! I haven't tried temping and dont really thin i'll be able to do it. DD sleeps in a bed next to mine and DH and she has the aweful growing pains so im up loads at night massaging her legs.. so pretty sure it wont be accurate anyway.

i cant wait for my period to end 2 more days (sorry tmi) but i cant wait to start trying again!

We also have a friend whos just told us that they're pg. They've only told us as we're the only ones in our group with a dc and its still early days.
Im so thrilled for them but couldn't help feel envy

fingers crossed though!

RightUpMyRue Wed 16-May-12 16:46:01

Hi all,

How's everybody today? Anyone got any exciting symptoms to share? Anyone on 7DPO, like me? Anyone due to test anytime soon?

Come and overshare with me smile

I had a rather exciting temp dip on 5DPO and then a sharpish rise on 6 and 7 DPO all with some mild cramping so am totally convinced that was implantation. Not wind or the fact I had no covers on, don't be daft!

I'm on 12dpo!! If my tests have arrived, I might dabble tomorrow!! I might........grin

RightUpMyRue Wed 16-May-12 17:19:42

Mooley, 13 DPO is a well good day to test on, loads of people get BFPs on 13 DPO. POAS tomorrow, deffo smile

CountryKitty Wed 16-May-12 19:20:07

Oh please POAS NOW! @ Moo!

Well AF not arrived and showing no signs (but we all know that means nothing sadly). Am desperate to POAS but I think I'm only 9/10 dpo and while this has never proved a problem for a successful pregnancy in the past, it does make taking a test more problematic. What do you think - any point POAS??

rachie12 Wed 16-May-12 19:25:30

Hi everyone i was hoping someone coild give me some advice or happy news, im 27 and my husband is 31 we have a beautiful daughter who is 4 in august she was conseved naturally but did take us 3 years, we are no trying for our second baby and have been for over 2 years we asked for help after a year because i didnt want it to take 3 years again! i was put on 50mg of clomid for 3 months as i didnt ovulate, i have polosistic overies, lots of scar tissue from c- section and appendix removal and a blocked right tube, i have found out today that my husbands seamen results came back as 0% active! i have no idea what they will do now i dont think im ever going to have another child i dreamed of having a big family too sad
Rach xx

CountryKitty Wed 16-May-12 19:30:13

Hi Rachie12 I'm really sorry to hear your results. I have no experience of this but hopefully someone will come along soon who does. Can you make an app with your doc to discuss your options and decide your next step? x

Discolite Wed 16-May-12 19:35:33

Hello Berries and Moo and all the people who I'm sure I'll get to know well very quickly!

Like Berries and Moo I've come over from the other thread. I'm 32, have been TTC since June last year (nearly a year, my oh my). I got pregnant in January but was told at ten weeks gestation that I'd had a mmc. It's two months today since I miscarried and it's been a very difficult time.

I'm waiting to ovulate now and it's seriously affecting my sleep! I started waking up at 2.30am thinking 'Is it time to take my temperature yet?' and woke up lots of times. My temperature hadn't spiked though so I think the constant waking didn't affect my temps. We'll see what tomorrow brings, today should be the day....

I am concerned though as I had a virus a few weeks ago and I'm worried it may delay ovulation.

Moo good luck if you do test!

I also think that a lot of pregnancy announcements cover up some heartbreaking announcements. When yet another pregnancy announcement occurs I always think, well they could've been trying for 1 month or 24, I just don't know!

Having said that I was a bit peeved yesterday when my colleague at work announced his wife is expecting their fourth baby. Just seems greedy if you see what I mean...(not really but I am jealous!)

Megan I would ask to see another doctor at the practice, 2 years is a very long time to wait, I'm sure 12 months is more like the norm.

I read something in The Guardian this weekend about a charity that are setting up church services for those bereaved by pregnancy loss. The woman involved had had five miscarriages and something she said really struck home

"When you have recurrent losses and are told your baby has passed away, you feel that you've just run a marathon and are being sent back to the start again. You're back with the charts, monitoring ovulation; the pregnancy tests, which are, at one and the same time, terrifying and exciting; the calendar counting the days until your baby reaches viability. Not until delivery can you start to entertain the possibility that you might be going home with a newborn baby," she says."

That's totally what I felt/feel like! And I've only had one loss. TTC is bloody horrible and stressful. It's not all sex you know smile And the whole thing has made me consider waiting til 16 weeks to do the public announcement when I get pregnant again. Hmm

Anyway, that's enough of a super-rambly post, got to take the puppy to his first bronze award dog training class now!

rachie12 Wed 16-May-12 19:44:19

hi, they have referred me to the fetillity clinic now but i have got to wait till the end of june which means i miss a month on the clomid sad im just not sure what they can suggest now there is no way i can afford ivf so i hope that there is some miricle procedure that they can use on me! x

HalleLouja Wed 16-May-12 19:49:43

I have just read your thread and thought I would share my story if that is ok. Dc1 was conceived super quickly. Dc2 not so quickly. It was about 18 cycles and felt like forever. We started tests and went to the fertility clinic. Now dc2 is nearly 1 she was conceived naturally despite me thinking it would never happen.... Sorry if that's insensitive but I liked some good news story when I used to live on mn....

Munchin Wed 16-May-12 20:42:28

Good evening ladies.

Countrykitty, Mooley, Rightupmyrue getting excited for yous, hope this is your month.

Rachie12 So sorry to hear your bad news. Is IVF available on the NHS???

Berries you are so right, we really never know how the lives of others are behind closed doors. Far off hills are greener and all that. I'm not doing too bad now thanks. I think the decision to ttc again lifted my spirits. I finally got my -ve hpt last night so that means the hcg has gone. Very frustrating still getting a +ve result after the erpc. The bleeding is definitely starting to reduce but still not gone. Arggh!!! Hope to god when it does af comes back and not leave me hanging around for months.

Welcome to all the new ladies.

Hi Rachie and welcome. Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. I'm sure if you sit down with your GP or the gynae consultant they will be able to talk through your options. Unfortunately I don't know too much about it and what can be done. We are here to support you though smile

Disco I loved your story and it's so very true. How is everything with you? Hope you get that temp rise and a sticky bean. smile

grin at Rue tomorrow it is then grin

Kitty I think you should POAS with me (not literally, of course. That would just be weird!) tomorrow. I'm expecting a big fat N but we'll see!!

Megan as it has been mentioned, after a year of trying you should be seeing a specialist for further investigations. I wonder if he thinks because you are 23 that its ok to keep you hanging in because you are young. WELL IT IS NOT!!!! You have as much right as anyone else struggling to get the help you need and deserve. I would definitely get a second opinion.

Hello to totally and big waves to berries and sally

I have nothing to report. DH has an interview tomorrow and is busy upstairs researching and practicing. I'm hoping that we have 2 sets of good news tomorrow but I suppose that might be a bit greedy and I would be happy with just one. bear

rachie12 Wed 16-May-12 21:05:14

hi munchin, they have said that im not entitled to IVF because i already have a child which i can understand really as its expensive sad x

Munchin Wed 16-May-12 21:56:57

rachie12 ah that's still a little unfair. Hopefully you will be offered some ray of hope at your appointment. I wonder how accurate the test on your dh was. I have heard some places get it wrong? It happened to friends of mine. When test was repeated they got much better results.

hellokittydrivesmenuts Wed 16-May-12 22:21:55

Hi all, hope its ok to gate crash?!
31 , dp 29 have a 4year old with ex ( no contact for past year!! jerk dad!!! ggrrrrrr rant over) however Dp fab step daddy and been trying to concieve for 11months tried for 3 years with daughter :-( 1 miss carriage 3 months ago and annoyed with myself right now for still wasting valuable life time with feeling depressed about it! blinkin' hormones!
anyway enough about me how are you all ( sits back on frehly plumped cushions with a huge pack of bourbons) x

iloveberries Thu 17-May-12 07:07:57

Wow it got busy - I like it!

Hi everyone!

Shall we start a stats list? I am losing track!

Berries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. AF due 20th May then it's time to start TTCing again!

Moo - i'm totally impressed you've managed to refrain from POAS till now! I hope you get good news though i'd miss you if you went to the ante natal thread with the others!

Morning all.

Yes a stas list would be good:

Berries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. AF due 20th May then it's time to start TTCing again!
Mooleywooleyshamalamadingdong Age 30, DH 3. TTC #1 for a year, 1 chem, PCOS sufferer. AF poss due 20th May, but then again, with my body, who knows!!

I did POAS this morning, but a combination of being tired and having incredible toothache, means that i am not sure what the result is. Plus, DH has his interview today so was desperately trying to divert attention away from it, don't want him getting any more stressed than is necessary.

So the results were either a BFN or an extremely, faint, ghost like second line. They are only IC's and it says on the instructions that they are accurate from the first day of missed AF, so could be that it was too early (although at 13dpo I think not to be honest). I am not entirely convinced by chart, which is here if anyone is interested in seeing it. I have a feeling that I have not ovulated............again <sigh>

How is everyone else fairing? Any testers coming up?

iloveberries Thu 17-May-12 07:59:20

and that's why you shouldn't POSs moo!- you're in a pickle now!!!

I am not au fait with charting but i thought you said you had the required dip this month? Very frustrating for you love i know. Clomid coming soon?? xxx

hellokittydrivesmenuts Thu 17-May-12 08:45:27

oooooo a stats list :-)
Berries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. AF due 20th May then it's time to start TTCing again!
Mooleywooleyshamalamadingdong Age 30, DH 3. TTC #1 for a year, 1 chem, PCOS sufferer. AF poss due 20th May, but then again, with my body, who knows!!
hellokitty Age 31, DP 29, DD 4 going on 14, been TTC #2 for 11 months, i mc and 10 reading into every symptom months! AF due ? today or sat 19th after a 8 day early AF last month? 28 days to date usually whch would be today from 1st day of last AF or 2 weeks todate from positive ovualtion test on saturday? so keeping options open or maybe do i say AF due in another 8 days fromwhen it origionally should have been? LOL what a pickle?!
So the wait goes on but i am comfy and have good company so no budging me yet!!!
xx

Discolite Thu 17-May-12 10:44:16

Muchin it's weird waiting for a negative test isn't it? I finally got mine 35 days after my medically managed miscarriage. Felt like forever. I got my first AF after 6 weeks, hope you won't have to wait too long. Are you trying again now? If so I hope AF doesnt come at all smile

Rachie that is a right bugger, you can see the NHS's point but on an individual level it's so hard. I hope they do find something else they can do for you. Or that nature finally wakes up and produces the goods naturally!

Hallelouja not insensitive at all, it's nice to be reminded that even when you've been TTC for a long time that it can still happen without medical help.

Moo sorry about the inconclusive test. Your chart is pretty hard to interpret, it's not cut and dried. But you may have ovulated - i think this time of year with rising temps and light mornings make temping more difficult and perhaps more inaccurate. Good luck to your DH for his interview! Maybe try testing again on Saturday? BTW, I don't believe your DH is actually 3 smile

Right, stats:

Berries Age 31, DH 32, DS 2 yrs. Been TTC #2 for a year, 1 m/c, 1 ectopic, 1 tube removed. AF due 20th May then it's time to start TTCing again!

Mooleywooleyshamalamadingdong Age 30, DH 3. TTC #1 for a year, 1 chem, PCOS sufferer. AF poss due 20th May, but then again, with my body, who knows!!

hellokitty Age 31, DP 29, DD 4 going on 14, been TTC #2 for 11 months, i mc and 10 reading into every symptom months! AF due ? today or sat 19th

Discolite Age 32, DP 51, TTC #1 for 11 months, 1 m/c at 10 weeks, AF due 29th May but haven't ovulated yet so who knows!

rachie12 Thu 17-May-12 16:39:17

hi, my Dh has got to have another sperm test before my appointment at the fertility clinic so hopefully it will come back better than 0%! x

CountryKitty Thu 17-May-12 20:53:27

Hi all,

Moo I tested and got a v v faint line on an IC at teatime. But I don't trust them one bit! I am (I think) 10dpo and a;though I have two Clearblue digi's I've been told that they're not very sensitive so I know that if I test and get a BFN I'll tell myself thats why - Aargh!! When are you testing again?

Munchin Thu 17-May-12 23:04:54

Oh Moo nad Countrykitty fingers crossed for yous!!! keep us posted.

Discolite not ttc at the moment as bleeding post erpc not yet stopped. had hoped to wait until first AF has been.

Rachie12 hope dh second test shows the first one was incorrect.

Countmyblessings Fri 18-May-12 02:38:01

Hi I'm lurking about, my stats!!!
Countmyblessings - 35 DC3, ep06,mmc11,ep 30th April 12- AF?

Posting from
Phone so limited view! Will catch up and get back!
Fingers crossed for all testing, waiting or just starting!!!!

Morning all. Yey for Friday. Boooo to still having toothache sad

Kitty have you tested again? If not, go POAS and let us know grin

I POAS this morning and am just confused. Very faint pos with late night pee = excitement; very clear neg with FMU = confusedhmm

I have concluded therefore that I'm not pg and will await my drugs like a good moo. Obviously FMU is best and never lies smile

How is everyone else?

rachie12 Fri 18-May-12 07:55:34

Oh sorry to hear about you tests Mooleywooleyshamalamadingdong i will keep my fingers crossed for you!
Im a day late but tests have come back neg, i have awful period like pain so im sure im about to come on! With everything going on with my baody and my dh i doudbt very much i am pg this month but you cant help but hope can you smile x

rachie sorry to hear about your BFN. Have you got the 2nd appointment for DH yet? Hope it's soon and offers better news than the first!

CountryKitty Fri 18-May-12 08:31:48

Morning all,

Moo Sorry it's a BFN this morning. You're testing early aren't you? Maybe just too soon? What tests did you use?

Well tested again with IC and got a faint positive, but more positive than yesterday. Only have Clearblue Digi in the house and have been told no point using it as only 11dpo.. So will head out to shops this afternoon and hopefully get a nice sensitive Superdrug to use later on if AF not arrived. Trying not to get my hopes up. Still getting twinges and back pain.

Goodluck for anyone else testing this morning. fx

I'm 14dpo and AF is due Sunday so not really that early. This happened last month and turned out to be a chem sad hope the same is not happening again this month.

Sounds good though Kitty i'd get an FRER; if you are getting positives on ICs then an FRER should pick it up. Yeah, the digis are not that sensitive, so I have heard.

Fx'd for you, hope this is the start of many BFPs to come on this thread.

rachie12 Fri 18-May-12 09:27:12

Mooleywooleyshamalamadingdong yes i have had a appointment through its for the 6th of june so not long to wait just means missing a month of clomid confused x

iloveberries Fri 18-May-12 10:17:32

Morning all - kitty sound promising - keep us posted. Lucky thread i hope smile Agree with moo that First response is a good one form what i have heard.

moo - sorry for the ups and downs on "is it a line, is it not??" You know my VERY strong views on testing early so i won't tell you again but if you stopped constantly POAS you'd save yourself a lot of emotional stress!!

Hiya to old chums count and disco - how are you both doing?

rachie glad you have an appointment - not too long to wait though I do appreciate every month feels like a lifetime when you're TTC.

No news here - awaiting 2nd AF since Ectopic. Due tomorrow ish I think. Didn't have unprotected sex in fertile period as was playing by docs rules and waiting for 2 cycles after EP so def no testing for me this month. I fell in June with my lovely DS so am going for another June conception this time ;) that'd show my GP cow who told me it'd be very hard for me to conceive again

hellokitty - how old is your DC? Do you find that everyone else has DC2 already? I do and it makes me feel incredibly... lonely really. And worried DS will be lonely.

Have a good friday girls

Sock it to them Berries stupid doctors, what do they know really?!?! And well done <proud emoticon> for abstaining from the unprotected sex during your fertile period.

TBH, I think testing at 13 and 14dpo is not that early considering what I used to be like and also considering I got my positive at 11dpo last month, I think I have done bloody well to hold out this long. Yes, I know, i should wait until AF is late.........but let's face it, who actually does that blush.........oh, it's just me then grin

Rachie I have my hopefully final appointment next month with my gynae consultant too. As berries said, not too long to wait, but completely understand that it will feel like an eternity. Hope that they can give you some clearer answers as to what is going on smile

CountryKitty Fri 18-May-12 14:51:54

Hi all, need to dash for the school run in a minute so will pop back later and catch up on all your posts.

Well I got 4 superdrug tests (I prefer these to FREF) at the shops and came home to test and I didn't need a wee sad Was so desperate to test that i managed a tiny bit in a cup to do an IC and got a definite, no squinting, BFP. So while I am encouraged I know that these tests are crap and will wait for a proper test to tell me either way. Have drunk loads of juice so hopefully will need to go soon! fx

iloveberries Fri 18-May-12 15:06:43

congrats kitty!!! Our first BFP smile

CountryKitty Fri 18-May-12 17:00:50

BFP!!!

Terrified now sad Still getting sharp pains, but no cramping. made an app at the docs for next week. I know it's horrible to think but if it doesn't stick then I want a referral to mc clinic as this would be our third mc this year. Surely not, right???

Discolite Fri 18-May-12 17:21:24

Kitty don't be terrified. Weird pains are common. It must be hard to think positively after what you've been through but...third time lucky? I think you're just going to have to sit it out and see what happens. But yes, you definitely should get a referral if it doesn't stick.

oh by the way congratulations!!

CountryKitty Fri 18-May-12 17:29:28

Thanks Discoliite

iloveberries Fri 18-May-12 17:50:40

of course you're freaking out kitty. it must be very exciting but also very scary. try not to worry too much but well done for making the appt. Just take it a day at a time, and today - you're growing a baby! congratulations!

I am having a bit of a low day today, and yesterday. My close friend had DD2 on Tuesday and I need to go and see them but i just don't feel ready. My pregnancy which miscarried would have been due now and i know the Ep was 8 weeks ago but it still feels quite raw. I will go next week but am afraid I'll blub on her baby!

I am so grateful for my lovely DS but I just desperately want to experience it all again. I keep trying to be really positive but from time to time it is hard as those of us who've been TTC a while or had losses know.

Chin up berries, it's friday!

Munchin Fri 18-May-12 18:26:53

Ah congrats to you kitty that's fantastic. It's understandable to be nervous and worried. I think a mc etc robs you of luxury to just enjoy the moment.

moo it's not over til it's over??? But if AF rears her ugly head. Let's look to next month.

berries sorry you are feeling low today. It's tough with your friend having her baby.

My friend kicked my ass today and made me ring hospital as i am still bleeding 24 days after erpc. So had to go in and have a swab done. They are hopeful as its old blood that it will soon stop but gave me antibiotic just to be sure. But while waiting a mum with her brand new baby came in and sat along side me. Then when nurse called me in to exam room she asked me how many weeks was I? I burst into tears and had to explain. She was mortified and was very nice. It was just being back in the hospital seeing the little baby just knocked me for six.

Well hope everyone has a good weekend and TGIF!!!

iloveberries Fri 18-May-12 19:23:54

oh muchkin i can TOTALLY understand that. You poor thing or something equally heartfelt but which sounds less patronising. That totally sucks. I bet the midwife was mortified. I am surprised they don't play it safer than asking questions like that though.

Glad you got yourself back up to the hospital. The bleeding post loss is horrible isn't it. It's like a constant reminder and such a graphic one. Hope you have a nice friday evening planned with lots of wine

moo - how are you feeling? Sorry if i've been hard on your POAS habit wink. After I had a chem i vowed not to do it again as i wouldn't have known about the chem if it wasn't for stupid early testing companies making pots of cash out of us! 14 dpo isn't that early you're right and having been off the TTC bandwagon since i got the B-not-so-F-P in Feb I have forgotten what that aching is like each month to find out if it's worked. I am not looking forward to that again. BUT, we have to carry on if we want a baby don't we!

I have a big birthday do tomorrow night for a friend so having my last big boozy blow out I think and then I may well give up/cut down when we TTC again. The girls on the other thread will know that after 6 months of nothing i finally fell the month i gave up....i know it didn't work out but at least the egg got fertilised! probably just a coincidence but i am willing to try anything now!

Takeaway friday in the berries house - been a healthy girl all week and everyone needs a treat, right!

Countmyblessings Fri 18-May-12 21:34:22

Congrats CK - its understandable you being fearful
You had a experience that can't be erased!
Holding cyber hands with you!
Telling u to relax wont do!!!! I know how I was scared! Every niggle had me thinking all sorts of doom!!!!!
1 day at a time!!!!!!! Whooooop!!!!

Sorry Moo - that you don't think it's happened for you this month, it will happen!!!!!! Most def!!!!!!

Waves to ilove,disco xxx

Countmyblessings Fri 18-May-12 21:40:40

Hi ladies can I asked u a personal question how long did u get ermmm SWI or not intend!!!! With the ectopic over my DH is concerned and wants my body to rest!!!! I know his fearful of me getting pregnant!!!
I don't mind waiting but I don't want him to be scared!!!!
If that makes sense!!!! U don't have to answer if too much!

angry sad woke up to AF sadangry

On a [grin note though.......I laid another egg and I the bitch showed up when she should. Hmmmm must try harder. Hope I lay an egg next month!!!!!

Congrats Kitty fab news. Understandably you will be a little anxious, but try and relax and focus on the fact that it will happen this time xx

iloveberries Sat 19-May-12 08:36:35

Hey moo - so sorry AF got you. It's our turn next month, you and me, c'mon the old timers!!!

count We didn't have any sex for about 7-8 weeks after the EP, TBH within about 2 weeks of it i wanted to - to feel that closeness that you get from sex but we abstained just incase it would be bad (not sure why it would but you know...!) Then when we have done it since when I have been fertile (i think i was from EWCM) we used condoms. Then recently we have started having unprotected sex as i know i'm not fertile.... So my answer would be that within a month you're prob ok but use protection. Not sure if you remember from the other thread but my GP told me to wait 3 months to have, even condomed sex, as condoms are only 98% effective It did make me laugh that he thought i'd get pregnant with DH wearing a condom as i'd been having well timed unprotected sex for 6 months with nothing!!

I am still waiting for AF - due today but no signs. Maybe after the EP my cycles will take a couple of months to settle, and no, i am deffo not pg!!!!

Hope you're felling ok kitty and not stressing too much x

Grrrrrr yes Berries come on we can do this!!!

I just hope my body can overcome the cysts and release another egg. Amazingly I ov'd on the same day as last month, have a LP of 14/15 days and a 30/31 day cycle. I almost feel normal..........almost grin

Hope you get AF so you too can get cracking (never thought I'd will AF on for someone)

iloveberries Sat 19-May-12 08:45:28

moo - your cycle does sound pretty textbook now! (You're not on clomid yet are you?) just had a thought - if my AF comes today (i am on a 31 day cycle too) then we'll be fully in tune, OMG i thought this only happened when people lived together, not were MN TTC buddies! weird huh?!

Yeah not on Clomid yet. Think it's still the effect of the HSG. Have just bought 2 PCOS books, am cutting out caffeine and alcohol (because of PCOS) fuzzy drinks and going to be eating more healthy and exercise more. God damn it, I will over come this awful condition and if I start now then I will hopefully still be in tune with you this month and we can.....fingers crossed......be bump buddies too!!!

Yeah, this shit normally only happens in films grin despite the AF arrival I'm feeling very positive.

Off to the fishmongers, grocers and herbal shop now gringrin

Discolite Sat 19-May-12 09:30:32

On my phone so apologies if I have bad formatting etc...Moo sorry about Af, but as you said your body is coming up with normal cycles - OMG!

Muchin that is totally awful. They really should put pregnancy loss services on a different floor. When I went to have my medicially managed m/c I had to walk througha banner that said 'Maternity'. It hurt.

Count, I was a bit scared to have sex after the m/c but it was ok. If you have protected sex then maybe he'll be happier?

Berries hope AF comes soon so you get on with making a baby!

I'm on CD25 and still haven't ovulated. HOpe it's not going to be like this every month. Worried about anovulatory cycles etc and a bit bored of sex EOD since CD14. Oh well. Grandfather's 90th bday party today so that should take my mind off it!

Happy birthday to your grandfather Disco hope you have a cracking night. I sympathise with you on long cycles, believe me, but could be your body adjusting again. I know it's not easy though, sex EOD in long cycles is not just tiresome but gets a bit tedious as well.

Fx'd for some egg laying very soon smile

iloveberries Sat 19-May-12 13:52:27

disco - i truly hope a 90th party takes your mind of sex ;)

Hi ladies. It's not AF. Not sure what the feck is going on but it started off as very very light pinky and it's now stringy and dark brown. WTF!?! I'm going to monitor but anyone have experience of this? Last month AF arrived in the afternoon and was medium to heavy from the off! confused

hellokittydrivesmenuts Sun 20-May-12 09:01:02

congrats kitty wonderful wonderful news! the pains are round ligament pains! my gp got very stressed with me keep saying i am going to come on my period as had them all the way through 1st pregnancy and had bleeding so stay calm all is normal!!!
Mooley have you tried testing as sometimes you can get this pink browny stringy stuff when embedding happening! FX for you sweetie.
well AF got me yesterday so now officially 12 months of trying but have appt on 24th at gp so all positive.
wishing everyone loads of luck!!!!

hellokitty so sorry she got you angry but pleased you are being positive and have an appointment with the GP!

Disco how was the party? Hope it took your mind off things smile

Well the spotting has completely stopped. Have not tested, gonna wait a few days and see what happens. Because of the PCOS, I'm wondering if it could just be a hormonal thing, although in 12 months of trying this has never happened before hmmconfused

hellokittydrivesmenuts Sun 20-May-12 12:06:20

Mooley- sounds positive to me and i have evrything tightly crossed for you my dear and very hope i hear a loud BFP from you in next few days xxx

festiemum Sun 20-May-12 13:17:57

Hey moo, can I just gatecrash and reassure you that I had all sorts of weird spotting and stuff after my chemical? I naively reckoned it would all be back to normal after a month, but it wasn't so! After googling it, I found dozens of women all with different experiences of what was 'normal' after a chemical, so it seems that anything goes!

Hi disco! Hi berries! Hi count!

<skulks off back to grads thread> grin

Hi festie nice to see you. I wouldn't be so bothered if the spotting continued but it's completely stopped, absolutely nothing. It started yesterday morning and was gone by bed time.

I have adjusted my chart and if I ov'd later, on CD21, when I had a dip, then yesterday would have been 10dpo and AF is not due until Thurs or Fri.

Did you have a proper bleed the cycle after your chem?

festiemum Sun 20-May-12 14:09:24

Yes, I bled and bled and bled. It got a bit worrying, but also I read about women that didn't bleed at all, that had weird spotting but no 'proper' af, some that bled loads like me etc etc. I also definitely didn't ovulate that cycle, whereas you seem to have, so what I'm saying, I guess, is that after a chem, your body can react in a number of different ways, all of which are perfectly normal!

However, if you are 10dpo, you could have experienced the fabled implantation bleed! Really hope that's the case! Lots of women report getting pg the very next month after a chemical too, so you could be one of those! Fingers crossed! xx

Thanks festie at the end of the day I've just got to wait it out and see what happens.

Hate this though sad smile

Munchin Sun 20-May-12 18:50:50

Hope everyone had a nice weekend. I had lovely meal and lots of wine with the girls yest. This had been planned for a long time and I couldn't help feeling sad as it hold have been when we would have announced our news. But cest la vie I suppose!!!!

Thanks berries. Hope you felt better over the weekend.

disco hope the 90th birthday party took your mind off things.

moo any news? Hope af stays away and that this is your month.

hellokitty sorry af came and that this tic is taking so long. At least you can focus on appointment and feel like your doing something.

festiemum Sun 20-May-12 21:54:36

It's bloody frustrating moo, when you're after a definitive 'now this will happen, followed by this'. But unfortunately we're all different; therefore, there's myriad 'normal' physical responses sad

Wait and see seems completely unfair and shitty when you've already done far more than your fair share of waiting. thanks

Morning lovely ladies!! Quick update from me as I'm trying to dry my hair, but in good old moo fashion I POAS this morning. Faint positive. Not getting excited, remaining calm until I get darker lines (crosses everything) as this happened last month! Haven't told DH, have got an FRER and 2 digis on standby!!

Will pop in at work.

Lilliana Mon 21-May-12 07:32:44

Sorry to crash but had to eek at moo! Fx you will be joining us soon. DO NOT POAS until tomorrow morning, you will give yourself more q's than answers and you know you need fmu with all your experience x grin

Hi everyone else!

Thanks Lil grin don't worry, in work now so no chance of POAS and as you rightly said, going to hang fire until the morning with FMU (cos that's the best).

iloveberries Mon 21-May-12 08:45:34

moo this could be amazing news and then i will feel REALLY smug that the thread i started is so lucky wink. I am so excited for you. it has been a long time coming.

I am a bit up and down. I had a really horrible day yesterday, cried for most of it. I still feel so so sad about the ectopic. Everyone around me is pregnant and i felt very sorry for myself "why is it so easy for them and not me". I feel a bit better today, haven't cried yet but it is only 8.41 so there's still plenty of time wink.

AF arrived this morning and I was delighted to see her! Got out my calendar, marked day 1 and counted to day 14-18 when i reckon i will be fertile, put a scribble in the calendar and said loudly and firmly, "Let's get pregnant" to no-one but myself really, then DS turns round and says "let's get pwegnont". bless him. Am hoping, I know totally unrealistically, that i could defy medicine and get knocked up this month. Fine balance between being optimistic and getting your hopes up too much isn't it.

moo - keeping my fingers crossed for you. When was AF due and how many DPO are you?

How is everyone else this morning? xx

berries so sorry to hear you are feeling low <hugs> have a brew and some biscuit

Hope that any news on this thread does not add to your burden as well. But YEY grin for AF (again, never thought i would be saying that). Bet you are so relieved and glad that it has finally arrived and you can get cracking. You show those stupid doctors exactly who is boss smile And your son is soooooooo cute saying that <cute emoticon>

As for me, the ladies seem to be getting sore and I am feeling a little odd. I am currently 12dpo today, as I think I may have ovulated later than I thought. AF not due until Thursday, so 3 days to go.

When does anyone thing I should crack out the Digi??

Countmyblessings Mon 21-May-12 12:57:46

Ohhh Moo this is exciting!!!! Next time you pee I would put it in a container and maybe save it so if you feel the need to stick dip u have the good stuff!!!!! FMU!!!!! That's what I did I got a faint and did a digi and the counter took ages and I was holding breath when it said pregnant 1-2!!!
Have all crossed Moo!!!
Whoooop on the AF returning ilove - I'm praying it will be your month and give me hope when I can TTC as no 1st period here yet!
Not worried just want it to come and go!!!
Had loads of cramping and strange pains do maybe!!!

iloveberries Mon 21-May-12 13:51:37

hiya count - my first Af didn't come for 6 weeks after the EP then this one was 32 days which is pretty normal for me.

moo - I am always happy when there's good news on this thread! ESPECIALLY if that good news is yours. Well you've started testing now so there's no stopping you and no point in me telling you to wait till 14 dpo! so do test again tomorrow with FMU. I agree with count to pee in a pot.

I thought CB digi only worked from 1st day of missed period so maybe save that one till thurs?

Went out to playgroup this morning and survived all the babies and bumps! DS was being very cute. very lucky to have him.

Countmyblessings Mon 21-May-12 17:50:26

Thanks ilove - It's been about 3 weeks since my op so I'm just waiting quite scared of the pain as when I had my MMC and my AF came it was very painful!!!!! Handled so many pains I don't know why I'm so scared of my AF coming!!!!! It seems so long ago now that I was pregnant like a distant memory don't know if that's a good or a bad thing really!
Just coping!

Munchin Mon 21-May-12 19:50:00

Moo I'm getting very excited for you. I don't blame you poas, I'd be the very same. I buy opks and hpt from a site called testsforless. I have found them to be as sensitive as clear blue or first response. I tested positive with them 2 days before AF due on my dd. So fingers crossed for you.

Berries it is weird to be happy to see AF and I will be exactly the same if she ever comes back. You now can start again and feck your doctor!!! I smiled at thought of doctor telling you to be careful
using a condom after moths of well planned ttc.

count we seem to be in same boat waiting for AF to come back.

Munchin Mon 21-May-12 19:52:09

Moo I'm getting very excited for you. I don't blame you poas, I'd be the very same. I buy opks and hpt from a site called testsforless. I have found them to be as sensitive as clear blue or first response. I tested positive with them 2 days before AF due on my dd. So fingers crossed for you.

Berries it is weird to be happy to see AF and I will be exactly the same if she ever comes back. You now can start again and feck your doctor!!! I smiled at thought of doctor telling you to be careful using a condom after months of well planned ttc.

count we seem to be in same boat waiting for AF to come back. It's nervy alright to be back at starting point again. Hope you don't have long to wait.

Not good news I'm afraid. Have started bleeding. Can't believe this is happening.......again. sadangry not even a warning, no cramps, nothing.

Feeling very down, but just have to try and move on.

Thank you for all your earlier support. Looks like i'll be needing those fertility drugs after all.

iloveberries Mon 21-May-12 20:20:22

oh moo, mate that sucks. totally crap, am gutted for you sad

teeny teeny faded silver lining for you... we are cycle buddies! Ok not much of a silver lining but if you have to spend June TTCing with someone wouldn't you want it to be your old pal berries!! Day 1 for us both today. C'mon June and no POAS next month till 15 dpo at least.

When is your next appt at docs?

iloveberries Mon 21-May-12 20:22:41

munchkin - you're right it is totally weird to see AF but reassuring that cycles are back to normal 10 weeks on. Hope you are dealing with your loss ok.

count coping is good. agree it seems like a distant memory for me too. I think it's a good thing though as it allows us to move on. Next pregnancy will be (1) in the right place and (2) one which sticks for us all!! We will be taking babies home with us in 2013. smile

Discolite Mon 21-May-12 20:34:17

Moo fingers crossed it all goes well tomorrow morning!

Berries I'm sad you're sad. Sometimes you just get hit by stuff, don't you. I had half planned to announce my pregnancy to the wider family at the 90th birthday party so had to do a big old stiff upper lip thing.

Being sad still is still very normal though. A study cited on Wikipedia shows that 25% of women still present with significant emotional distress three months after pregnancy loss. I suspect that you and I are not quite in that category (correct me if I'm wrong) but do have some bad days/weeks. It seems that bodies mend quite rapidly but hearts take a lot more time...

The same goes for you Muchin, time will make you less sad but just keep putting one foot in front of the other for now.

The party was great actually! Everyone had a lovely time, especially my Grampy who enjoyed being the centre of attention so he could say outrageous or daft things as usual!

And yes, Berries it did take my mind off sex grin!

Count don't be scared. You are a strong person I can tell and AF will be hard but you'll cope. You've coped with much worse. Besides, you have to have AF so that you can get pregnant again, right? wink

Still having to DTD every other day as I still haven't ovulated! CD27 now. Even after the miscarriage I ovulated on CD28...may have said this before but I really really don't want to ovulate on CD28 every bloody cycle. A regular 42 day long cycle would do my head in. Although of course I know regular ovulation is much better than no ovulation.

I've started decorating my dining room! I spent about an hour just painting the ceiling rose. It's a really big one, at least 2 foot across and very ornate in it's Victorian way. And fiddly to the max! Argh! Still, I got the ceiling painted and hopefully it won't need another coat...then at least it won't be too difficult to paint around our new dining table that is arriving from Malaysia next week. Once it's in position I don't think we'll be moving it again in a hurry...it extends to seat ten! Maybe getting the DIY done will work for me like it did for Rusulka smile

Thanks berries and of course I'm delighted to have you as a cycle buddy. Bleeding is only ahem internal at the moment, not heavy at all so am still putting it down as spotting until I see some on a liner or I need to put in a tampon.

It truly sucks though!

Am so angry at my body.

And sorry for the self indulgent posts. Promise to read through more carefully tomorrow and respond.

The lack of cramps is making me think it might be nothing but I know that this is probably not the case.

Discolite Mon 21-May-12 20:38:16

Moo I'm really really sorry...two chemicals in a row just sucks. Drink some wine and try to take comfort in your normalising cycles.

Most of all though, don't give up hope. It'll no doubt continue to be exasperating if not heart breaking trying to get pregnant but you will get there.

Discolite Mon 21-May-12 20:55:22

Also Moo I don't want to give you false hope but wait and see how things develop. I had three days of spotting before I got my BFP and five days of spotting afterwards. I know it didn't end well but I don't think that was down to the spotting.

Countmyblessings Mon 21-May-12 21:33:41

Ahhhhh thanks Disco and ilove I know I have to have AF it's just hard to start at the beginning after nearly a year! Blah!!!
Moo - I'm just do gutted for you, that's just crap, but it will happen and it will be a good firm maybe even double sticky ones!!!!!

Munchin Mon 21-May-12 21:51:16

Ah Moo really sorry if af is coming but like disco says wait and see before totally throwing in the towel this month.

Thanks Disco it's surprising when the pain/grief turns up o bite you. Fair play on the decorating nothing like a project to distract you.

Sorry for my double post earlier. Obviously hit post before I was finished. Can you delete a post you have wrote???

Countmyblessings Mon 21-May-12 21:56:53

Munchin - yes same boat! Hand holding and support all the way!!!

hellokittydrivesmenuts Mon 21-May-12 22:01:44

moo - hey sending up some prayers for a BFP and and and AF neg!!! keep positive hon i know it must be hard but hey its a BFP that may just stay a BFP!!! xxx
waves to all xx

iloveberries Tue 22-May-12 07:25:12

moo - you're not being self indulgent at all. we are all allowed to say how we feel. That's the point of MN. Was thinking about you yesterday and keeping my fingers crossed for you.

count - god i so know how you feel. I am also back at the beginning after a year but, uh oh, worse off really as i'm a tube down so i feel like someone has actually put me back a bit (now who's self indulgent moo!!) We just have to believe it will happen for us though, and it will. I am using joby from the EP thread as my inspiration! And the 2 girls I know in RL who have had healthy babies relatively soon after EP and tube removal. It will happen. I am a total fatalist and although it is near impossible to see that the EP happened for a reason I know when i do hold my baby i will look at it and know that that was the baby i was supposed to have.

disco - thanks mate. I feel a bit better today. You are spot on. I wouldn't say I am significant emotional distress but it just rock up to bite me from time to time. Usually when others announce or when I get to "would-have-been-milestones". I find MN more helpful than ever at the moment so thanks to you all. Don't know where i'd be without it. You and Your DH mujst be EXHAUSTED with all that shagging!!! I am not sure how I am going to cope as i reckon we've only done it a handful of times since I got my positive test back in feb. Glad gramps party was good! 90 is a cracking age to get to and still be on good form! Good one the DIY, I am also decorating. I think it's good to have another project other than TTC! Helps you feel you're achieving something, right?

moo - come aloong and tell us how you are soon please love - been a little worried about you xx

iloveberries Tue 22-May-12 07:26:04

count BTW I didn't mean i am worse off than you, I meant worse off than when I started a year ago!

Oh, and another year older too.... darn it!

Count every day will get a little easier, but take this time to grieve for what you have lost. It is totally understandable after everything you have been through. And that goes for you as well Berries. You have both been through so much, and I think you are being unbelievably strong and brave. If I could even have half the strength you two have then I am not doing too badly smile That goes for you as well Munchin

Disco glad you had fun at your grandfather’s 90th. Sounds like he had fun as well grin and even better that it helped to take your mind of other things wink Sorry that your body is still not playing ball though; hope that you lay an egg very soon and that the spermies are in position to respond accordingly. DTD EOD is not ideal at the best of times, but trying to do it with a longer than normal cycle is just frustrating.

Thank you for all your support. Bleeding yesterday never really amounted to anything and I have not had any cramps, I’m still spotting but it is most definitely brown. 2 more tests today, 2 more faint lines, one on an FRER so just holding tight and hoping that whatever is going on down there is not due to another chem, but more that body is just settling down to accommodate its new lodger (crossing everything and really trying not to get excited). I am desperate to use the digi because I want to see the words rather than trying to squint at lines on sticks, but I know that it will prob show negative at this point.

Your support has been amazing and I am so glad and grateful that I have had the chance to find and meet you all. I’m not going anywhere just yet though………need to carefully monitor this situation for a little while longer.

Ignore my last message. Latest toilet trip shows that bleeding is proper red now. On to next month and def need the drugs.

iloveberries Tue 22-May-12 09:26:17

moo - don't be disheartened. june is the best month to conceive.... promisesmile

Munchin Tue 22-May-12 10:03:25

Ah moo so sorry. Have some extra nice treats today.

As berries says we can all hope that June will be our month!!!

Thanks ladies. To be honest, because of the PCOS, I don't think it will ever be a sticky bean without the intervention of fertility drugs. sad

Onwards and upwards though. At least the sun is shining smile

iloveberries Tue 22-May-12 11:38:07

but you are close to getting the drugs right?
what is next step?

Hopefully get them on 19th June. I've had all the tests so it's a case of going to the Consultant and talking things through and finding out what happens from there. It has been a long drawn out process.

At least I have my cycle buddy for this month though smile how you doing?

Countmyblessings Tue 22-May-12 13:05:44

Kiss kiss hug hug- to you Moo xx
Well I'm the sunshine today very nice!!!!!
Tmi - went for dinner and it ended with us dtd nice time!

Countmyblessings Tue 22-May-12 13:08:33

Ilove - I understood what you was saying from the start and totally understand as I feel the same. Feeling it was hard to get pregnant with 2 tubes and now felt my chances has been cut in half! But have spoken to people in RL and they have gone on to success and lovely children x

rachie12 Tue 22-May-12 15:39:37

hi everyone, MooleyWooleyShamaLamaDingDong sorry to hear about your af sad fingers crossed for you that with help from the right drugs you will do it,

Im still waiting for my af, as my cycle can last anything beween 30 days to 39 days and im on day 35 now so fingers crossed for me too but i think its very unlikely i cant wait for my appointment at the clinic just seems like forever getting here x

iloveberries Tue 22-May-12 16:21:41

we will have success too count! Then we can be inspiring stories for other poor souls who have to go through this shitty thing x

We will all have success!!!!! Positivity is the key and we are in this together smile

I could not do this without you all (and obviously DH grin)

Countmyblessings Tue 22-May-12 19:27:03

Thanks ilove and Moo - def all in this together!!!
just seems such a long time for me to wait and start trying all over again!

rachie12 Wed 23-May-12 09:43:21

Af came today sad

Booooo to the witch!! So sorry that she found you rachie

Not fair.

<stamps feet, folds arms and refuses to move until life starts playing fair>

iloveberries Wed 23-May-12 10:17:15

sorry to hear that rachie - at least you have your appt to focus on and then things should improve when you get the drugs!!!

Things here are fine. I have handed in my notice at work so am over the moon about that. Money will be a lot tighter but not to a really stressful point. Also thinking the lack of stress from work might help TTC.

Munchin Wed 23-May-12 10:40:00

Ah Rachie sorry to hear Af has returned. Sure you will be in good company ttc next month.

Well done Berries on your new life. Would love to have more time at home myself.

Moo your gas!!

Well I am happy to report that the bleeding post erpc finally stopped yest 27 days later!!!! I feel that I am one step closer to joining you all. I don't know if it was the antibiotic or it would have stopped itself. But TG!!!

Discolite Wed 23-May-12 16:42:32

Rachie sorry sad

Muchin rah!

Berries the shagging isn't too bad actually. It's nicer now the weather is warmer and you don't have to unwillingly take your clothes off and get into a cold bed grin Also well done for being brave and resigning!

Moo glad you are feeling positive!

I'm STILL waiting for ovulation. If I put in a similar temperature for tomorrow to the day before yesterday then it claims I ovulated on Sunday but I'm not convinced. A big problem is I keep waking at 5am, an hour before I normally temp so I think that is throwing things off. I've tried wearing an eyemask in case it's the light that wakes me but to no avail. I'm reluctant to set the alarm at 5am as I'm midway through a cycle and the lower temperatures compared to the 6am temps might result in ovulation being missed. What advice do the charters give me?

Ok, off to talk to the parents of my pupils. I'd prefer to have a nap tbh!

hellokittydrivesmenuts Wed 23-May-12 21:06:56

PANTS PANTS and more big fat PANTS to moo and rachie.
So so so glad the sun is shining today :-)
hope everyone is feeling positie this month i am now coming to the end of a very hideous AF that the gp had to prescribe anti inflamatorys to help slow bleeding down as have very low ferretin levels and the taking iron is very pointless when this happens!
GP appt tomorrow to discuss the lack of fertility in this house.
Love t you all xx

Munchin Thu 24-May-12 16:46:54

How is everyone today? Weather is amazing (finally!!!!)

Sorry Disco I have feck all experience in temping. Did it for a couple of months on dc1. Tbh it drove me mad having to take temp at same time every morning as on the weekend I would go to bed and get up later.

Hellokitty that sounds like a nightmare AF, does that happen every time? Good luck at gp appointment.

So I thought bleeding had stopped but got some spotting last night and lots of ewcm today. Wonder am I o'ing? If I was ttc I wouldn't see any of it!!!!

hellokittydrivesmenuts Thu 24-May-12 22:09:24

hey all perfect perfect weather!!!!!!
Munchin- yes sadly this appears very hideously normal forme or has done for past 9 months which has caused this low ferreting :-( gp appt went well i am having bloods on day 21 to check ovulating as i should and poor DP has to have seamen checked which can rule out worries there, but appears as i have a DD we will have to pay for any fertility trt even though he does not so hopefully all will be ok and just need time! mixed emotions positive we are going forward but negative as could require thousands of pounds.
On an up note DD had a fab behaviour day being 4 they can be few and far between as she is very very much ready for school :-) xx

Countmyblessings Fri 25-May-12 09:14:08

Hi all - ilove - well done on the job front the freedom of not having to worry about work must be great!!!! I'm still off work and loving the time off spending it with ds!!!!!
Change of subject did anyone watch channel4 "kings A&E"
I did and it was so sad to see Jill lose her baby and how she shared she had lost so many before, I was crying buckets!!!! She was so brave!
TMI - dtd last night woke up in pain I think I'm oving, and now I'm scared that I may fall pregnant before my 2 cycles am I being stupid!!
I'm just worried months of wanting to get pregnant now scared I could be and I'm scared!!!!!

Countmyblessings Fri 25-May-12 09:18:15

Sorry missed saying hi to hellokitty! I'm sorry that your news is not great that treatment will cost because u already have a dd! Let's hope it's not needed and you have success without it costing!
Dd at 4 and having a good day, that's great!!!!
Bring on the sun!!!!!! Whhhhhoooooopppp!

hellokittydrivesmenuts Fri 25-May-12 20:01:34

thankyou so much countmyblessings, another wonderful day but sadly in a hot surgery at wotk but yippee i have that friday feeling and sod it am going to have a wine! xjust the one..............BOTTLE:-) xx

iloveberries Sat 26-May-12 06:46:52

Hi everyone - all good here, just enjoying the lovely sunshine with DS. No news on the TTC front - apart from that we are giving it a go this month!!

count - don't worry, what's done is done. I made DH wear a condom up until recently so maybe do that next time if you're concerned about it?I'm sure you'll be fine. (Or you'll get pregnant as you "weren't trying" and it'll all go smoothly!!)

rachie, kitty - sorry your bodies aren't playing ball. How annoying for you both. Bring on the appointments and the drugs!!

mools - how's tricks?

Discolite Sun 27-May-12 14:18:40

Ok typed a whole long msg and it all got deleted, so I am feeling pretty grumpy now.

Muchin did you get anymore EWCM?

Kitty the random restrictions the NHS places on some treatments annoys me, especially when they have no basis in medicine but in social issues.

Count I would't worry too much but like Berries says you may feel happier if you use a condom until the waiting period has passed.

My chart is continuing to baffle me and annoy me. I get two high temps and get excited then on the third day I get a low temp so FF doesn't put in the cross hairs. I have had one exciting symptom though, sore nipples on thursday and from then on. That was a symptom of ovulation I had every month before the m/c so I reckon I've ovulated but for whatever reason the temperatures haven't mirrored this.

Feeling a bit down even though we have this lovely weather. It seems to have brought out all the pregnant women! Walking the dog is an emotional minefield. I would've been around twenty weeks and showing by now if the pregnancy had progressed but it doesn't help me to torture myself thinking like that. On the plus side I'm going to New York this time next week which will be very exciting!

How are you Moo?

Discolite Sun 27-May-12 19:24:02

Hmm.

I discounted the high temperatures at the beginning of my cycle that were due to flu and FF has said I ovulated and am now 8dpo! I'm feeling cynical though...I'll believe it if my temps stay up and either I get a BFP this friday or AF (obvs you know which I'd prefer wink)

Munchin Mon 28-May-12 00:02:24

Hope everyone enjoyed the fab weather at weekend. Back to work tomorrow sad

Disco hopefully your temps stay up and you get bfp but if not wow a hol in new York very jealous.com envy . Totally understand how you feel about bumping into all the pg ladies. It does sting every time. I'm thinking I would have had a bump now. Instead I have all this weight I gained from comfort eating after mmc. no more ewcm. Had more bleeding sat and thought it was af but disappeared today. So have no idea what's going on.

So had friends over for BBQ on sat and a few mohitos was had. So nice to chill out and forget about past few months.

Morning everyone. Hope we are all well!!

Disco yey for ov grin grin hope you had some well timed sex!! Go sticky egg!!! I know what you mean about the weather and pg ladies. They're bloody everywhere. Makes me sad, especially as I should be gearing up for my 12 week scan. Instead I'm stuck wondering what the feck is going on with my body!!

Berries hope the witch has left the building and you are gearing up to ov and getting lots of SWI in (despite the hot weather wink)

Munchin glad you were able to relax and enjoy yourself this weekend. We are going to get there, I promise!

Sorry I've been AWOL, works been manic and had a lovely weekend with friends so not much time to catch up. AF is STILL here a week on!! WTF confused but other than that not much to report!!

On phone because IT have my laptop and I can't have it back until 9am angry will catch up with all later smile

iloveberries Mon 28-May-12 08:59:57

Hi everyone - disco - great news that you ov'd! I know EXACTLY what you mean about the pg ladies - it's hard isn't it.....

munchkin good news that you sunk a few mojhitos.... perfect sunshine drink!

moo - it's hard not to think of what might have been isn't it? BUT - just keep focused on the end goal - you will get your baby. You will!!

No news here - at the start of a new cycle and AF only went yest so gearing up for my first months attempt at TTC since the EP. Feeling positive, negative, excited and scared in different measures! Given that I've just handed in my notice i am bound to get pg straight away secretly hoping but who knows??

Discolite Mon 28-May-12 20:12:16

Muchin I gained some weight (about 3lbs, but will it go?! Nope!) after my mmc too. Trying to lose it now but haven't dared weigh myself for a couple of days! I love mojitos, must have one in New York! I've never been out of Europe so it's a big deal for me. We decided to go the day inbetween finding out about the lack of heartbeat and the medically managed m/c so it seems amazing it's come around so quickly! I feel guilty I'm spending so much of my savings but what the hell...

Moo yes we did have well timed sex (the sexathon was worth it) but due to today's high temperature FF has shifted ov day from Saturday 19th to last Friday. If I put in an experimental low temperature for tomorrow then it shifts it back again! Make yr mind up FF!

So now I have two potential testing dates, this friday or the thursday after (unless FF decides I haven't ovulated at all). Not sure which to go for. May test on Sunday morning before I go to NYC and if +ve I'll know to stay off the booze. If -ve I'll test next thursday in NY and hope it's +ve if only for the shallow reason that I can then tell putative future child that I found out about their existence in New York! I wouldn't call it Gramercy though smile

I don't think AF being there after a week is that weird. Mine is generally 5-7 days. Anyway, glad you had a good time with your friends!

Berries woo hoo for new cycle! And even better, this time you actually get to try! That is very exciting. Don't be scared, just get stuck in with the sex. When do you normally ovulate? Hope it's not too long to wait.

Ok, better get back to naughty puppy who is constantly attention seeking...gimme a break doggy!

Munchin Mon 28-May-12 20:36:02

Good evening ladies one day down!!!

Disco 3lbs!!!! I wish. I'm afraid to get on scales and I know it's at least 7lbs. I had only lost it as had joined slimming world in jan and stopped as as soon as I was pg. but hit the chocs crisps and bread when we got bad news at the scan. but I do understand when you have only a little bit to lose its always the hardest. Well if you don't get your +ve before you go to NY make sure to have a cosmopolitan or two!! Don't feel one bit guilty re cost holiday yous both deserve it.

Berries and Moo good to see that's yous are all geared up to ttc this month and feeling positive about it. Always say this could be the month. Sorry Moo that af lasted so long.

Well starting last Monday my post erpc bleeding seemed to be on the way out. But it's more been like one day off and one day on. I actually felt it was like af starting on sat but then disappeared on Sunday and back today. How will I know if it is af. I really wanted to wait until after first af to start ttc. Starting to get peed off now. Sorry for the moan.

hellokittydrivesmenuts Mon 28-May-12 22:01:19

Hi lovely ladies, haven't been about much over weekend as decided to go out for lovely days out over weekend! Hope we are all feeling positive as i have good vibes for this thread this coming month! Even if it is just the start of fresh treatments for us all! Ihave decided to have a course of reflexology, worked for a few friends so am being pro active and going to have some pampering! xx

iloveberries Tue 29-May-12 07:36:31

hellokitty - I had reflexology and even if nothing else i LOVED it, so relaxing! I am feeling super positive (it's the only way, right??)

disco - hol sounds fab, you definitely deserve it. I normally ovulate around day 17 so the shagging will start tomorrow night i think (day 10). I am using CBFM this month just to check I am ovving. If I were you I would test as late as possible before you go then you'll know if it's a BFP and if it's not then you can put the tests etc away and have a fab time in NYC. You don't wanna be test there incase it's not what you are hoping for. Fingers crossed it'll be a BFP for you though!

Munchkin - sorry i can't help with the bleeding question? No idea!

hellokittydrivesmenuts Tue 29-May-12 14:11:06

totally agree berries! you still going? x

Discolite Tue 29-May-12 21:24:25

Muchin it was hard cos I'd put on a bit of weight during the pregnancy through feeling too sick to eat healthy food, then I'm left fat, not pregnant etc. So like you I just ate...I know 3lbs isn't much but I worked out if I could lose 10lbs i'd be happy. I just can't do it! I can put on 3lbs just eating a normal portion of sunday dinner. My sister has lost 5st (respect) in the last year...maybe it is easier to lose large amounts than small, I don't know. All I know is my BMI is 25.6 and it pisses me off! I want to be able to wear my clothes without feeling like an overstuffed sausage skin.

It does sound to me like it isn't AF yet. How long is it since the ERPC now? When my period came back I knew about it, it was massively heavy.

Kitty hope you enjoy the reflexology!

Berries the problem is I'm not entirely sure when I ovulated. If I go by the first date FF told me I test on Friday, if I go by the second then it's thursday next week! I know what you mean about not testing on holiday but tbh it's the day before I go home anyway, I've had loads of BFN and I tend to have a quick cry now and then get over it. I just don't think I'll be physically able to wait until the Saturday! I also have a feeling I'm in TTC for a long(ish) haul.

How did the TTC sex go? Well I hope! My DP said to me today "So when are we going to have sex then?" and I told him he didn't have to as I've ovulated...I think he was a bit disappointed! Obviously the shagathon has made him happy! I obliged anyway grin

Countmyblessings Wed 30-May-12 09:48:14

Hi all - sorry been AWOL been out enjoying time with my ds2 in thisivrly weather!
My gosh so many pregnant women walking around its really hard to avoid them, and I feel quite sad to think I would be having my scan by now!
The 2 pregnant women at work are due in nov so when I go back to work I will have to get use to seeing their growing bellies!
So not looking forwards to that and also seen more scan pics on BB and fb! Blahhhhhhhhh
Oh how you doing disco???? Ohhhh new York I would love to go enjoy!!!!! Shagathon lol you DH clearly likes it!!
ilove so glad your feeling very positive.
Moo- AF a no show still?
No AF here either my DH asked about it last night and I'm just trying not to think about it!!!!!
Have a jubilee cake to bake and decorate for dc school!
Better get to it!!!! And start by getting the bits needed!!!!!

iloveberries Wed 30-May-12 14:25:58

hi everyone - no i am not going to reflexology anymore but mainly cause my reflexologist moved house so i haven't got round to finding a new one - i should really though! Things are ok here... day 10 today so think I'll ov in one week so going to get shagging tonight!! REALLY trying to take a more relaxed approach to it this time around though.... if only for my own sanity!

count great that you're spending lots of time with DS. Do your colleagues know why you're off?

disco - nice work on all the SWI!! Try to be positive mate, i know it's hard though, really i do!!!

Discolite Wed 30-May-12 17:32:40

Count I'm glad you've been having a lovely time in the hot weather, hope your son(s) enjoyed it. It must be hard thinking about going back to work with your pregnant colleagues but I'm sure you'll find the inner strength to deal with it. Yes, you'll be jealous and sad but I'm sure the shock of seeing them will wear off after a week or two. Did the cake turn out ok?

Berries hope you enjoy some nice relaxed shagging!

Nothing much to report here. I've been pretty tired when I've got home from work the last couple of days and have had an afternoon nap. Lassitude is getting the better of me and asides from doing some ironing I haven't done anything useful at all. Oops.

Moo has AF left the building yet?! Hope so!

Hi ladies, once again apologies for my absence work is crazy busy and we managed to lock ourselves out the house tonight so just relaxing after making dinner blush AF is still here, I'm getting a bit worried now; 9 days in total. WTF!?! Not sure what to do!! confusedhmm

Disco how is your chart looking? Any symptoms? New York sounds like a fab holiday, have never been even though we have friends out there. Must. Make. More. Effort!!!

Berries how are things with you? Any sign of ov?? Well done on resigning. Wish I had the balls to do that, but I earn more money than DH so am stuck with it for now!!

munchin and count how are you both?

Sorry not had time to read through all the posts as in phone and it's muchos difficult.

<waves to everyone else and hopes they're doing ok>

Discolite Wed 30-May-12 23:41:20

Oh Moo, oh no! I dread doing something like that. How did you get back in? AF for 9 days...that is a very long time. Your appointment is in June isn't it? Deffo something to add to the list-of-things-to-ask-the-consultant methinks.

Chart looks like this (cue lots of testing to see if I got the link to work, I always forget how to do it) www.fertilityfriend.com/home/discolite aha, only took two goes this time...I think I may have ovved on the wednesday though as I had sore nips on thursday. But tbh this cycle's chart is all over the place, what with flu and late ovulation, who knows...

Getting excited about New York now! Until now I've just focused on the 'oh no packing' side of things but now I've looked at our hotel a bit more (in Gramercy) and read the guide book a bit more I'm getting into the swing of things. DP had a friend who lived in NYC until recently, she's now in Nairobi which is less convenient!

We've booked into a brilliant/poncy cocktail bar which hilariously doesn't serve vodka (I don't like the stuff myself but appreciate it's usefullness in cocktails) and also apparently refuses to serve cocktails if you ask for them by name. Instead you have to say the ingredients you like...maybe I'll say vodka just to piss them off. Anyway, that will no doubt be an opportunity to laugh at hipsters which is ok by me.

Is your AF full flow or spotting?

Disco we had to go around to DH's sisters house and borrow a long pole with a hook on the end, then we went back to ours and while DH held open the letter box, I slid the pole through the letter box and managed to hook the keys, slowly turn the pole the other way around so the keys would not slide off and gently slide the pole back through. Needless to say it worked. But got very wet in the process!

Chart looks good smile and very excited about your New York trip for you. That cocktail bar that doesn't serve vodka and you can't ask for actual cocktails sounds like it will be amazing. Obviously though, you will be pg by then and will have to have non-alcholic ones grin

My AF is weird, a mixture of light flow and spotting. I am now worried I am in the early stages of menopause!!! Aaargh confused

Morning everyone. Hope we are keeping dry!!

Munchin Thu 31-May-12 11:35:23

Hiya ladies, woke up to lots of rain this morning!!! Wheres the sun gone?

Count thats really tough having to face 2 pg ladies back at work and I can appreciate how hard that will be. But hopefully you will be pg very soon and you will be happy to join in. Glad you are getting some q time with your ds. How did the cake go?

Berries hope your feeling relaxed and getting lots of dtd. Do you try following the SMEP plan? (sorry if thats a stupid question)

Disco I had a look at the chart. You got a dip on day 25 and then again on day 29, I think defo O was one of those days, could it be you O'd on day 25 and second dip was implantation. Sorry I'm not very good at charts as I only did it for a couple of months but I defo got an implantation dip when I got pg. Interesting Cocktail bar with no vodka (thought it was main ingredient in alot of them) So you won't be having a Cosmo then. I'm a bacardi fan so go for the mohito!!

Moo sorry to hear you are having such a long AF, its really annoying as you don't know what your body is up to and its delaying you getting to the ttc stage. But i defo don't think you are in menopause LOL!!! That is something old birds like me have to worry about. Good thinking on getting back into your house!!

So all is just going on the same with me. I agree Disco I don't think it was my period at the start of the slow down of the bleeding. But yest and today I have a very af like bleed and I have the familiar dull ache and boobs are sore so maybe it is starting now. I wonder has anyone had just a light af for the first one after a mc or would they usually tend to be heavy. Its exactly 5 weeks since my erpc. (after my ds was born my af didn't come back for 4 mths) I am due to go to my gp at 6 weeks for a checkup and I will be having a long chat, so many questions!!!! Hopefully she doesn't suggest that we forget about ttc and having a baby. Thats my biggest fear.

Discolite Thu 31-May-12 18:50:25

Moo that really is an amazing way to get your keys back! Still, at least you got back in eventually. I'm always checking I've got my keys now, especially when DP is away.

I honestly don't think you've got early onset menopause. I reckon you've just got a bloody (sorry) annoying period. Remember I used to get spotting for 5 days before my period, then bleed for 5 days? I got pregnant in the end though.

I'm entering symptom spotting madness now. I have spots, was pretty tired yday and the day before, slight cramp in my wombage area now etc etc and ahem, my toilet habits have changed (they did before I got pregnant too). My nipples have stopped hurting, my boobs aren't hurting at all (weird) and I've had no spotting yet and I'm 6dpo. FF have chosen to give me a free trial to fuel the obsessiveness, thanks for that!

Muchin thanks for your input! It's just all too confusing. My charts used to be cut and dried but like you said there are three possible points where I could have ovulated. Who knows. I think I'll go with the latest one for testing purposes to avoid multiple disappointments smile

As for your latest candidate for AF, I think yes it sounds likely when you combine it with the cramps and the boobs. I researched a bit around first periods after m/c and it seems that anything goes. Some people are exactly the same, other people get weird symptoms or absence of usual symptoms (pre-m/c for example I would have really sore boobs at this point in the luteal phase). I had a really heavy AF but other people get a really light one.

Ok, I seem to have written an essay again today. Oops!

iloveberries Fri 01-Jun-12 09:07:40

Hiya ladies,
Good to hear everyone is feeling a bit more upbeat. Well done us!

disco the symptoms sound pretty promising don't they! I have had symptoms for the last 3 months when i haven't even been trying so am determined not to ss when i get to the 2ww!! Hope you have an amazing time in New York - are you testing before you go theen? I have everything crossed (legs excluded!) for a well deserved BFP.

moo that is a long AF but course it's not the menopause! It's your appt soon so get those drugs going! It'll be a BFP in no time lovely.

munchkin why do you think they will tell you not to try for a baby? Don't give up hope mate!

count i am in the same boat with the preggo folk at work. It is hard. Just focus on the fact they are having their baby and soon you will have yours - plus when you don't know people that well you don't know what they went through to get their baby. When are you due back?

Well we are on day 12 here - i usually ov on day 17 i think so we had SWI last night, more for the S than the I BUT it was the first time since we were TTC before the EP that we have had sex close to the fertile time and when we were, ahem, in the moment i was overcome by this "oh my god what if i get another baby stuck in the other tube??" It was dark so DH wouldn't have seen the fear in my face. i managed to carry on regardless but it shows me that despite all my outward positivity i am still shit scared about what might be. Still, i am definitely going to carry on TTC as i will not be beaten by fear.

What's everyone up to this weekend?

Anyone testing/waiting for AF??

hellokittydrivesmenuts Fri 01-Jun-12 13:51:04

hi all, well the household is recovering from an awful sickness bug at the same time as ovulation date?! arrrrrghhh may have missed the boat ! but tonight going to do something about it as may not be too late as sticks tell me so?! faint line still there. Jubilee celebrations this weekend and very much looking forward to the 4 day rest! DD is busy being a grot today but feel just her way of making sure i realise she is still not 100% yet ( bless her!!)
Good luck to all ovulating at resent and near future and also FX and LX for all those trying to void the big bad AF xxxx

Munchin Sat 02-Jun-12 00:01:57

TGIF ladies!!! Woo hoo love Friday nights.

Disco I think it may well be af although light but defo way different to the horrible brown bleeding the last few weeks. Sorry Tmi!! And sorry for going on about it. Anyhow have a fab time on your hols!!! Hope when you do test it's a big bfp.

Ah Berries my heart goes out to you. It's a catch 22, afraid if you try and afraid if you dont. You gotta be positive and think that EP won't happen again and all will be well.

hellokitty hope yous are over the bug. Nothing worse and goes through the whole house. Hope you've caught O on time.

I have it in my head that I left it too late to ttc as I am 40, that my eggs are too old and i am going into menopause and that's why I mmc because of poor quality.

Anyhow hope everyone enjoys the long weekend.

iloveberries Sat 02-Jun-12 08:46:11

Munchkin - Don't think that!!! There are plenty of women who have babies at or after 40! Between us we're a right bunch aren't we, some 1 tubed ladies, some with PCOS, some feeling older than they'd like... it's never easy. But we WILL get there, and we WILL take babies home with us in 2013 and they will be the most adored babies EVER! Just keep positive.

Day 13 here so i imagine the EWCM will start showing up soon in time for day 17 Ov hopefully. I bought some pre-seed so may use that this month - never tried it though....

How is everyone else? We've already had one BFP on this thread and this month it's time for a couple more smile

Countmyblessings Sat 02-Jun-12 10:00:52

Hi all - the cake turned out fab kids well chuffed I went all out went hobbycraft and went ermmmm crazy!!!! That shop is really good!
Moo - I agree with others comment dont worry! Your long AF will go soon and you can get on with SWI!
Munchin- ilove is correct I know plenty of women who gone on to having babies after 40, some actually gave up hope and got a huge shock!
Hellokitty - I'm glad the bug has gone, so you can get in some SWI!!!

I'm so enjoying time with DS 2 this is really showing me how big and grown he is getting!
I understand what some are saying I'm not jealous at all about my pregnant work mates! 1 has been trying for ages and the other had MMC just after me last year! She's gutted for me when she saw me in hospital and I told her what happened! Some of my closer mates know about what happened, I can only imagine all must know as you asked don't you when someone's been off for a bit of time! It's been a month since the ep and no sign still for AF ???? Oh well I'm not worried it will come when it comes!

Hello everyone. Hope we are all enjoying the start of the nice long weekend, despite the awful weather!!

Count glad the cake was a success and that you are enjoying time with your DS. Sorry that AF is still yet to make an appearance. It is so frustrating. Especially when you are eager to try and move forward. Glad you are being strong though. As Berries said in 2013 we will all be holding our much deserved and anticipated babies and this will all be a distant memory.

Disco are you due to test yet? Hope you have a cracking time in New York and come back to us with some good news!

Berries glad you got some SWI in near the fertile window but sorry that you are feeling scared. It's completely understandable though, you have been through so much, but we are going to get there and this time it will stick and everything will be fine and you will have a lovely happy and healthy 9 months smile we all will smile

Munch there are plenty of ladies at 40 and over that are able to have completely normal healthy pregnancies, do not worry. We are going to get there. I have absolute complete faith that this time in a few months we will all be on a nice ante-natal thread wondering what the fuss was all about (and not caring what the fuss was about either!)

hellokitty sorry that you and your family have not been very well. Sounds dreadful. Hope you are all feeling better now though and can enjoy some time off.

As for me............well AF has finally left the building YEY!!! Consultant appointment in 17 days grin although work have managed to arrange my internal assessment for the same day, and despite my arguments, my supervisor will not let me drop out. I'm not trying to drop out because of the appointment, more the fact that i don't feel 100% confident or ready to sit, but he seems to have complete faith that I wil get through, so i can't really argue with that. I now have 3 weeks in which to cram as much revision in as possible. Happy long weekend to me shock

I am off next week as well, and now have to revise through it all instead of relaxing and taking it easy. Sigh.......it will be worth it in the end, i hope.

Right best get on. grin

Discolite Sun 03-Jun-12 09:16:08

Well, looks like New York might not be happening. I left all the arrangements to DP as as he kept telling me 'I've been to New York nine times, I know what I'm doing!'. Except he didn't. He didn't do the online visa thing, messed up his first attempt and now we may have to wait up to 72 hours for it to be processed. We've missed our flight, can't book on a new one ti we have the visa and probably won't be able to claim on the insurance as it is his error.

he complains I treat him like a child, and it'strue, I do because I can't trust him. He makes mistakes like this all the time.

We decided to go on this holiday the day after we had the bad news scan when we knew i'd have to go into hospital the next day to have the m/c. I can't believe hes let me down so badly.

sorry for the moan.

Oh no disco, men can be so useless!! I thought you could fill in the visa forms on the plane! I have been to America a few times now and although I have filled in ESTA before hand I have always had to do it again on the plane.

It bloody sucks though sad I'm so sorry, especially after all the planning and excitement of having something to look forward to.

Hope it gets sorted soon.

Discolite Sun 03-Jun-12 11:39:05

Thanks for replying Moo..we're reebooked so we're flying out later but. it's costing him about two grand extra, a figure which I just look at and think...that's half an ensuite...half price of new car....he does earn a fair bit but even so, it's a very very costly mistake. God knows what the stress hormones are doing to my chances of implantation this month.

anyway, hopefully. It's just a shit start to a great holiday.

glad your af stopped moo! And it's now 16 days til you see the consultant, rah! The assessment date is a bit of a pain but at least it distracts you from the appt. And getting both over and done with will lighten your mental stress load perhaps?

apols for english, on a very slow phone at heathrow...

Munchin Sun 03-Jun-12 12:18:43

Ah Disco that's awful, you all packed and in airport ready to go. I'd kill him alright. But sounds like you are flying out later today so you are still getting albeit lots of extra money later. You'll just have to try and forget the money and get on with enjoying your hol as you don't want to let it ruin it. These things happen people miss flights for all sorts of reasons. And mental note you do all important stuff in future. I know that can be a pain as I am one who does all that in our house!!!

Thanks ladies for all the words of encouragement. And it's exactly what I would be saying to someone else. Just can't help having these mad thoughts. Hopefully after I've been to the gp the crazy lady will have left the building.

Moo that's great that af has finally gone. It's mad how we spend our lives either wanting to see it or wishing it wouldn't come. That's a pain that your work assessment is the same day as your appointment. But as disco says it might help distract you. Sorry you have to study on your time off.

Count ah I know your not jealous of your pg workmates and especially as you say you never really know what someone's journey to getting pg was like. It just hurts when you know it should have been you also. But yes as yous have all said lets be positive and think of all our 2013 babies.

Berries I've never used preseed but I have taken robitussin cough bottle to help with the ewcm. It has guafinesin which helps make all bodily fluids more runny. Sorry tmi!! But hope you get lots of practice in!!

Is the weather absolutely crap with you all ??

hellokittydrivesmenuts Sun 03-Jun-12 20:52:03

Disco- Blinkin men!!! no attention to detail like us women! who you flying with? Enjoy even though later as apparently an amazing place.
Count- no way 40 def not too late i know a few mummys in their 40's and all is well and good, its our choosey bodies that cause us to wait until complete perfection in eggs!!!!
Mooley- good luck for appointment and internal at work! CRAM CRAM CRAM or you could try what i did for radiography course- i recorded my notes on tape and played it whilst i slept as someone advised me this would work as yor mind is relaxed and open for new info!!!! TRY IT i passed :-)
Hello everyone else. xxx

iloveberries Mon 04-Jun-12 09:23:34

disco - glad you made it to NYC but completely see why you were so hacked off with DH! I would've been too!!! I'm hoping there may be a BFP to come??!!!

Well I was expecting to ov on day 17/18 but i got the smiley face on my CBFM today which means I will ov today or tomorrow.... We dtd last night and actually it was lots of fun. Didn't bother with all the legs in the air orr pillow under bum crap this time round. I've decided that there is such a thing as trying too hard and i don't want to do that!

I suppose we should have another go tonight though????

hellokittydrivesmenuts Mon 04-Jun-12 21:40:49

berries go go go girl but yes legs in air just relaxxx

iloveberries Tue 05-Jun-12 08:51:52

haha! so, 3 swis in fertile period, 1 5 days before, 1 the day before and 1 on the day of ov. That's gotta put me in with a chance, even though i have only one tube! if it doesn't happen then hey ho, i am determined not to get too hung up on it. she prays desperately that this is possible

hope everyone is having a good jubilee!

Disco hope you have a fab hols and come back with some good news!!

Berries yey for all the SWI!! Fingers crossed that there's a BFP at the end of it all.

Decided to go to Warwick Castle today, thought it would be nice. It's full of pg ladies and babies. It's making me depressed!!!!

Munchin Tue 05-Jun-12 13:52:03

Hi ladies, hope yous enjoyed the weekend.

Berries sounds like you gave it your best this month. It can be come a bit of a chore!!

Moo Unfortunately pg ladies seem to be everywhere. Before ttc I would have never noticed them!!! What is Warwick Castle like? We were on hols at Drayton Manor last year and we were going to go there but changed our minds and went to Legoland instead for the day.

Nothing new with me. Still having spotting every second day so now not sure if that was af at all. Have gp appointment on thursday.

Mezzaluna Tue 05-Jun-12 14:26:31

Hi all, looks like a lovely thread you ladies have going, mind if I join?

So sorry to hear about the losses of those of you who have been through it.

I haven't been on here before, but the events of the last few weeks has made me feel like I really need somewhere to vent all these TTC troubles.

I'm 30, DH 31, and we have been ttc for 2 years now. Since last August I have had one MMC & ERPC at 9 weeks, one MC at 5 weeks, and 10 days ago I had a laparoscopy to investigate an ectopic. They couldn't find the ectopic and luckily my tubes and ovaries are still intact, so the pregnancy had ruptured and bled out by itself. Had a cyst removed from one of the ovaries though.

In a weird place emotionally right now, sad and grieving over yet another loss, terrified of getting pregnant again as it's getting harder and harder to believe that I will manage to hold on to a healthy one, still wanting it so badly though.

Docs said nothing about having to wait before trying again, but I'm not really ready for it quite yet anyway. Still feeling bruised inside from the operation, but have finally stopped bleeding. Spotted some EWCM today, crossing my fingers that it means my body is working again. Have got paperwork ready to get bloods done, but need to wait for cycle to start again, also have an apointment at recurrent miscarriage clinic middle of July, anyone been to these?

For those of you on the wait - fingers crossed there is a BFP in the very near horizon!

Discolite Tue 05-Jun-12 14:49:56

Hi everyone, quick update.

Was pretty upset to find yesterday morning that my period had started 3 days early, but felt much better after pancakes in a diner smile

Since then though, the 'period' has pretty much dried up. I've reclassified it as spotting (implantation? Hmm) and despite myself hope springs eternal. I've just got to watch and wait annoyingly...may test in the morning though.

Ok, another diner breakfast awaits!

Munchin Tue 05-Jun-12 17:02:03

Hi Mezzaluna so sorry you find yourself in this situation but you are very welcome to join us. It's very hard when you suffer one mc but heartbreaking when you suffer multiple ones. You need time to get your head around what has happened.

Hiya DIsco glad you made it to NY and fingers crossed for you it was implant bleed. Anyhow no matter what enjoy the rest of your trip.

hellokittydrivesmenuts Tue 05-Jun-12 21:19:41

Welcome mezza- sorry to hear of your losses and hope you find support from us here xxx
Disco- FX for a BFP tomorrow and it were just an implantation bleed for you.
hope you all have had a wonderful weekend and enjoyed the celebrations! x

rachie12 Wed 06-Jun-12 17:49:53

Hi all, i finally had my appointment today but it didnt go good sad , they have told me that there is nothing more that they can do for me so i cant have anymore children unless i have IVF which i can not afford, they have even signed me off from the clinic now, im going to keep trying though and hope for a mirricle.

I still have my fingers and toes crossed for all you ladies on here i hope to hear some fab news soon smile XX

Munchin Wed 06-Jun-12 19:32:10

Oh Rachie I am so sorry to hear your news. That is terrible. I don't know what to say but miracles do happen and don't give up!!! Hopefully you will get your bfp real soon and show them all.

hellokittydrivesmenuts Wed 06-Jun-12 21:09:26

Sorry Rachie thats awful news for you, but hey why not keep tryng? Miracles come to those that least expect it. Virtual hugs! x

Countmyblessings Wed 06-Jun-12 21:19:06

Welcome Mezza- not a nice place to be but we on here are good company and can off load our feeling here instead of RL!
Rachie - I'm so sorry that your app didn't go well, but hold onto Hope as blessings do come sometimes just abit longer then we want!
Moo - pregnant women spotting all day here for me, not great!
Disco - ahhhhh sorry things ain't going as you hoped enjoy your time and you never know you can still get your BFP right!

I'm having low day feeling cramping all day so my 1st AF is on her way!!

hellokittydrivesmenuts Wed 06-Jun-12 21:26:36

Count- sorry your felling low- hope you feel better soon x

Countmyblessings Wed 06-Jun-12 22:26:20

Hellokitty - I sure hope so too!

Munchin Thu 07-Jun-12 16:45:54

Hi all. How is everyone doing?

Well I had my gp appoint today after the mmc. She was lovely to me and very understanding. It was like a mini therapy session. She basically said once I was emotionally ready (and the initial bleeding has stopped ) to just go for it. She said not to bother waiting or first af if I didnt want to and that you are sometimes more fertile after mc. So today I am starting to feel positive and look forward. So hopefully in 2013 we are all going to have our babies. !!!

count how are you feeling today? hope your feeling a little better. I ran into a lady I know who is due her baby when I would have been due ( she doesnt know about me) and I was able to congratulate her and not get that awful sinking feeling. (i have avoided her since i mc) So for today I am bullet proof!! maybe if you could have a heart to heart and voice your feelings either here or rl it might help.

iloveberries Thu 07-Jun-12 20:16:56

rachie - that is awful. poor you. how are you coping with it all? Come and rant here any time.

munchkin sounds like the GP appt went well which is good to hear, and great that you can start TTC whenever you feel ready. Just make sure you're ready for whatever might come next (apart from a sticky BFP)... MC has it's emotional consequences as well as physical.

mezza - welcome! Shame you had to find yourself here really (in the nicest possible way!) but it's a good safe place for us all to vent and say what is really on our mind and you are more than welcome here. What a rough time you've had. I think sometimes it does help to wait. After my EP i had docs orders to wait 3 months but it actually was great not to think about TTC and now we have started again I am finding it lots less stressful! But then again i am only on my 1st 2WW!

disco - hoping it's an implantation bleed for you but if not onwards and upwards!!

moo - your appt must be soon??

hellokitty how are you doing? are you in the 2WW?

Things here are good. I have a lot to focus on and feel much more in control having quit the job i hate!! Just means that TTC is not the only thing that i am thinking about, it's nice. The depression is still minor really, it comes in waves but i am trying to manage it with healthy food, exercise and positive thinking. Might start meditating again!

Anyone due for an AF BFP soon?

Countmyblessings Fri 08-Jun-12 17:47:31

Hi all - munchkin - that nice that you are dealing with things in a positive way! I also can talk to people in RL and be really happy for them I have genuine happiness for them but I can't shake off the bouts of sadness that comes like wow I would of had my scan by now!
And no doubt would of been showing a nice neat bump!!!
I have had 3 scans telling me sad news! I came across my scan picture of my ds2 the other day and I couldn't stop crying!!!
Ilove - so happy that your taking the relaxed approach to TTC this time keep it up!!! Do you think that people who have had an ectopic rather then a mc/ MMC have a easier or harder chance of getting pregnant again quickly?
Rachie- how are you doing?

Countmyblessings Fri 08-Jun-12 17:49:59

Some of you may have seen my thread" is everyone else pregnant "
Just a place to vent feeling that you may not want to say in RL!!!
My heart really does go out to all who have not had any children! I'm grateful for mine, I really really am!

Munchin Fri 08-Jun-12 23:27:21

It's the weekend !! Yeah!!!

Count I know of course you are genuinely happy for others and don't feel one bit bad for feeling sad. To suffer bad news of a mc once is bad but three times is bloody awful and unfair. I totally understand how it can hit you in waves and get you down. I hope that you can start to feel hopeful about the future soon again. My dh is always saying its not over till the fat lady sings so don't give up!! i was just on a high yest because gp was first person in rl to totally get how I had/am feeling. She said no one gets the feeling of emptiness you feel after you lose a baby no matter at what stage. She also correctly spotted that I was thinking it was sign from powers that be I shouldn't have tried for a baby in first place because of my age, that I felt huge guilt because I have 2dc and am just being greedy, guilty because so many have none including a couple of close friends. I never knew what my due date was except sometime either oct/nov, thats why I booked appt straight away so that they could date me but instead got the bad news.

Berries glad you are feeling better for leaving the unhappy job. That was bound to be adding unneccesary stress on you. Im sure it will help in the long run.

I wonder how Disco hols is going and any update on possible implant bleed? Fx.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend, anything nice planned ? I've started to repaint / decorate so that is going to help occupy me or next while.

Discolite Sat 09-Jun-12 12:54:07

Hi everyone.

New York was partly great and partly silly but I'm very glad I went.

Needless to say the spotting wasn't implantation and after a bfn and my period starting properly yesterday I've been quite depressed. Especially as the hordes of pregnant women aren't confined to the UK, there are plenty of them in New York too...

However I'm drawing comfort from the fact that whilst this cycle was stupidly long I am pretty sure that it was caused by illness and not just what they'll be like after the mmc. I ovulated 15 days after my temps went down after my flu and my post flu cycle lasted 28 days in total.

This cycle we are both going off the booze and going back to the gym. It worked in January so why not now? It may help with the depression too.

Anyway will catch up properly with all of you after I've unpacked and put the washing on!

DailyMailSpy Sat 09-Jun-12 14:56:14

I can I join? We're 4 months into ttc dc #2 after a miscarriage last year.

Countmyblessings Sat 09-Jun-12 21:12:02

Welcome back Disco - sorry about AF! Another cycle right!
Welcome DailyMailSpy! So sorry for your loss! Welcome to the thread in which you can rant, share as much or as little as you want!
Have you ever woken up and just wanted to do something different!
I don't want to do the same old things I wanted to something worthwhile!!!

alwayshopeful13 Sat 09-Jun-12 21:18:50

Hello everyone,

Hope you don't mind me joining the thread - seems the one that's most relevant to me of all the active ones. I've just joined Mumsnet having realised from the occasional look-in that it's a pretty good source of sanity, support and advice when ttc....

We had a mmc at 11 weeks back in December (having got pregnant on the 2nd month of trying) and here we are 6 months later and no joy. I know 6 months isn't dire straits (I'm 33 DH 30) but as it happened so fast first time we naively thought it would be the same next time. Been doing all the obvious things - good diet, lots of exercise, no booze, and lots of you-know-what obv.

It is v frustrating as lots of you know. The monthly game of raised and dashed hopes is so hard. I've heard mention of a test called AMH - maybe that's something we should look into. Welcome any thoughts on this (or any other ideas!). Thank you xxx

hellokittydrivesmenuts Sun 10-Jun-12 06:50:29

HI all,
welcome back Disco sorry about the BFN and the preg women in newyork. how was the big apple?
munchin- hope gp appt goes well.
ilove- yes i am in the 2WW- went for first of a 10 week course of reflexology very relaxing but some points were quite tender- she adv my thyroid is slightly out? and found out i had back probs with out me saying ( very amazed) and congested in my sinus/neck area- but apparently will help rebalance everything but feels it will help with falling pregnant?!
count- really nice to hear your feeling a bit better at the moment.
huge welcome to daily and always- very friendly thread here i find huge comfort from it.
Anyway about to go and enjoy a sunny day- big hugs too all x

Discolite Sun 10-Jun-12 20:53:20

Hi Mezza, Dailymailspy and Alwayshopeful. Hopefully you'll find this thread and its predecessors as supportive as I have over the last months. And hopefully it'll be lucky for all of us!

Rachie it must have been so upsetting to hear that news. Like others have said, surprising things do happen so hopefully you will get pregnant, even if it seems unlikely now.

Berries hopefully leaving that job will remove a source of stress! I'd love to get another job but don't want to as I know as soon as I get another I'll fall pregnant and then I'll have to leave almost straight away...well, if this TTC-and-getting-it-to-stick lark keeps on taking an age then I suppose I'll have to rethink.

Muchin glad that the GP really understood how you were feeling. I am still getting upset regularly and I feel that people think I should be over it by now (not that anyone has said that but I bore myself sometimes with my feelings, feel sure others must feel the same way). Also, whether you already have children or are older than others is irrelevant, if you want another baby you are entitled to try for one! Which bit of your house/flat are you decorating? I still have to do the woodwork and fireplace of my dining room which I'm putting off! I also have to book someone to come and hang the paper (again, putting it off!)

Count yes, it's the start of another cycle. This time no booze at all and exercise. Hopefully it'll work. Did you do something worthwhile and different this weekend? I didn't! I stayed in bed til 1pm today blush what with the jetlag and no sleep on the overnight flight.

Kitty the Big Apple was great but I was feeling pretty hormonal. There were good bits though, it wasn't all weeping and spots smile We just did the usual tourist things and I bought an iPad as they are cheaper (saved about £50). The only problem is I touch type so I find the on screen keyboard a right pain for updating Mumsnet! I've reverted to my slow old laptop for this! I'm glad you found the reflexology useful, every little helps I am sure...

Hey! Mooleywooleywoo Where are you? Hope you are ok. What stage of your cycle are you at now?

alwayshopeful13 Sun 10-Jun-12 21:15:58

Thanks for the welcome Discolite - this thread is fab and I already feel more positive and (even more!) hopeful than before. Amazing what realising you're not alone can do....esp when there are questions we all have that only ladies in the same boat can understand!

Glad you had fun in the Big Apple. It's our "last big holiday before having kids" destination, though we've not planned anything yet (it's one of the ways we try and see each unsuccessful month in a positive light....more time to save up for NYC!!).

Hi everyone, sorry I have been awol; so much stuff going on at the moment, my heads in a bit of a whirl!! I'm still lurking though, just not had time to write (and I should be revising now!!)

Berries great that you are feeling better about quitting your job; wish i had the same courage as you, but I am the main earner so can't be doing that just yet! Hopefully, as the other ladies have said, the reduction in stress will help with TTC.

Munchin glad that the appointment went well and that your GP was nice. Everyone has a right to have as many babies as they see fit to have. Good luck with the decorating too. It'll be finished before you know it smile

Disco sorry that the witch found you. How very dare she!! But pleased that NYC was good and that you had a fab time.

Count hope you managed to do something different smile i wake up most days thinking that but never actually bother to do anything about it!! I always tell myself, maybe next time. Hope you are doing ok though.

Kitty did not know that reflexology could help with TTC! Hope it does the trick for you. Fingers crossed smile

Hello and welcome to Always, Mezza and Daily hope this thread brings you lots of comfort and laughs and obviously that inevitable and much coveted BFP!!!

8 days to go until my appointment. Am starting to worry that he might not give me the drugs. This will make Moo very very angry indeed grin. CD21 and I can tell you all that the PCOS has kicked back in with a bang since my HSG. Have not even bothered DTD. Think i will just wait for the consultant appoinment and hopefully get my hands on those drugs!!

Will try to pop in later. Have a good day one and all!!

iloveberries Mon 11-Jun-12 07:32:35

hey everyone! welcome hopeful - nice nickname BTW! Hello dailymailspy - sorry to hear about your MC. wishing you luck here!

things just plodding along here normally till yesterday when as a result of ridiculous dizziness (had to pull over when driving), crazy tiredness, and pains in my left side, i am now freaking out that i have another EP. I know - i'm probably kidding myself i can even get preggo that quickly! But it's scary when you've lost one tube to have the possibility of losing the other one.

Anyway - i need to go to docs anyway to sort out some counselling for the depression (diagnosed at end of last yr and been trying to overcome it since) so i am going to mention it just in case.

Thanks for the congrats on leaving my job! I feel great about it (so far!)

disco - sorry about the AF but glad NYC was fab! I've never been sad

mools - are you ok?

rachie - how are you dealing with things?

Anyone expecting AF/BFP this week?

I'm off to see friend and newborn baby dd this morning, she knows what happened so i figure if i cry on the baby it will be ok!!

BFPs to you all!!! I only want mine if it's in the right place smile

iloveberries Mon 11-Jun-12 07:33:07

p.s. hellokitty glad you're enjoying reflexology! I loved it!!

Munchin Mon 11-Jun-12 09:59:31

Good morning ladies and thankfully the sun has returned. Hello to Daily and Always hopefully this thread will prove lucky for us all.

Disco sorry to hear the old witch returned but glad that you enjoyed your hols. You sound positive about this cycle and hopefully this will be the one. Could do with excercising myself and stop the self pity bingeing!!! Maybe today I will start.

Hellokitty glad you are enjoying your reflexology and you never know it could do the trick.

Moo not long now to your appoint and of course you will get the meds, its just as its getting closer you are fearing awful things. I know thats what happens to me glass half empty!!!

Berries hope your visit with your friend goes ok and I can appreciate how hard it will be. My colleague in work had a baby with his partner the day I got my bad news at the scan and a couple of weeks later he brought us to his house to meet the new baba. The baba was trust into my arms before I knew what to say and I had to sit there and coo and smile and couldn't let it get to me. Defo get that dizziness checked and I'm sure it won't be anything bad and also go ahead with the counselling.

Count and Rachie hope yous are doing ok. And if I have left anyone out sorry.

Well I had a marathon of painting over the weekend but pleased with the results. Got the kitchen complete and moving on to the sitting room or hall next weekend. Its been 7 years since we did any decoration so its badly needed. On the ttc front i'd say I am still in the wtf cycle as I guess the every other day bleeding was not af. We dtd for first time since mmc, was very nervous as I stupidily was afraid maybe they had done something to me in the op and that it would hurt. But thankfully it didn't and thats out of the way and can relax in future. Had some spotting again yest but I guess that can be normal from reading different stories on mn.

Better go and do some work now!!!!

Discolite Mon 11-Jun-12 18:04:34

Alwayshopeful I know what you mean about the saving! I spent a lot of my savings on the holiday and it hurt, I hate spending large amounts of money. Guess I'm a modern miser. I'm sure you'll love it when you get there!

Moo oh yes, forgot you had that exam on the same day as your appointment. Good luck with the revising. Also make a list of reasons why you think you should have drugs to help you. Bring it out if you feel like s/he isn't giving you good reasons for not having drugs and give it your best go to persuade them. Having said all that, I suspect you are worrying yourself unnecessarily. If you are doing all the easy things to control PCOS e.g. weight etc (which I'm sure you are) then there aren't many options left to treat it in my limited experience. Anyway, don't fret!

Berries it must be very scary but you rationally know that the pain you felt is much more likely to have been something else. I get weird twinges all the time (I'm sure you did before the ectopic and never gave it a second thought!). Hope seeing your friend and her new baby wasn't too traumatic. Also good luck for the doctors re:the depression. How do you think it is going overall? Mine was definitely made worse by period hormones, it's getting a little better now.

Muchin well done on all the decorating! And DTD and it going fine. It is scary the first time.

Nowt much happening here. I had about four hours sleep cos of bloody jetlag, work was boring and I stupidly took a freshly bathed fluffy white/apricot puppy to the woods for a very wet and muddy walk. He doesn't look quite so pretty any more! grin

hellokittydrivesmenuts Mon 11-Jun-12 20:08:24

Hi all
Munchin and moo i heard about it as a friend had it to help her now has ds and SIL had it and very much now preg so heres hoping. If they said walking round with dirty man pants on your head would help i think i would acyually try it! we are now undergoing our first tests so hoping for a miracle in te meantime, if nothing else its relaxing and an hour off housework/mummywork and work work :-)
Disco how you feeling now?
Berries- hoping the dizzy spell is nothing serious! are you looking after ones self with lots of yummy food?
Rachie and count how are you doing?
goodluck all for BFP's i am due saturday but have AF pains and neg test today as could not help myself LOL I am addicted to testing and seriously require some sort of support group for this addiction! :-) xx

Kitty i like your philosophy!! And like you said, if it darn well works then it is defintely worth doing. smile at the dirty man pants though. I agree, at this moment in time, i actually would do anything. As for the testing, I am probably the worse person for testing. When there are sticks in the house, they just cry out to be peed on. So I do grin Although i have 2 digi's that haven't even been unwrapped.

Berries I know you are trying hard not to symptom spot, but dizziness is promising. When is AF due? Hope all went well at the doctors as well.

Disco i know how you feel about taking pristine looking cream dogs for walks. Twice last week Oscar had to be sent to the shower. Getting him in was a nightmare......never thought getting him back out would be quite so painful!!

Munchin well done on all that painting. Woweee!! And understandable that you would be a little anxious DTD for the first time. But you did it. YEY!!!!

Well i feel distinctively unwell this morning. Nauseous, AF cramps, really dry mouth, tired sad went for a turtle this morning and my CM is yellow. WTF?!?! It's kind of egg white, but yellow. To be very crude, it looks like snot blush

Munchin Tue 12-Jun-12 17:53:39

Isn't it pure crap the way the symptoms for being pg and AF on its way are so fecking similar! Get your hopes up and then bam!

hellokitty we all give into the temptation to poas. Sure I'm now looking around to see where best deals to but them. I chuckled at thought of walking around with smelly mans pants on your head. Good luck with the tests and fx you don't need them.

moo do you know when you o'd this cycle. Sounds interesting!! When I got pg this time I had loads of cm your describing.

Well I finished painting utility room last night. It's only small galley type but still enough awkward bits. Buts that's me now until weekend maybe if I get another surge for it.

How's everyone else doing?

hellokittydrivesmenuts Tue 12-Jun-12 20:11:57

Hey all, am not with pants on head today, just chillaxing and popping by to say hi to all! xx

<waves at Kitty>

Evening all!! Hope we are all ok!

Munchin well done on getting the utility painted. One less job to do!!

I don't think I have ov'd yet, well not according to my chart; and as we have only dtd tonight I hope I'm about to ov rather have! Plus, as I've not dtd since the last chem then it can't be anything that exciting. I wish it was. smile

Further to my last post, I think I've ov'd gringringringrin 3 months in a row now!! Let's hope it's a case of 3rd time lucky. Although, we only managed to dtd once, but that was in the day I ovulated so fingers crossed!!

How's everyone doing? It's very quiet on here!

iloveberries Thu 14-Jun-12 09:10:58

hi folks, i am here! Been on a course for the last few days which is ridiculous as i am leaving soon!!

Had a tough week seeing newborn DD of my friend and then other baby news from friends, Dcousin (due when i was) texted to say she's having a DD and it made me realise i should be having my 20 week scan too - but i'm not sad

My RL friends have been utterly useless, thankfully i have you guys who understand.

-AF- BFP due next week, weds or thurs I think but not counting days! Had lots of 'could-be-either' symptoms. Trying to be positive though.

gotta go now - DS causing havoc ;)

Will catch up on alk the messages soon..... we must be due a couple more BFPs this month on the thread though smile FX xx

MrsCool Thu 14-Jun-12 11:34:30

Hi everyone. First timer, ttc for 10 months, I'm 30, dh is 31. Not a bad situation I know but feeling very frustrated by docs and wondered if anyone has had similar stuff to me?

Even though we had only been ttc for 5 months, went to the doc in Jan as was having very irregular AF; lots of spotting either side - in some months was on more than off (oh, the knickers I've ruined!). Had lots of tests which showed that I'm looking ok, not PCOD, endometriosis, etc but still very irregular. In March started some blood tests to see if I'm ovulating. Hormone levels were low, but I'm not sure that there's a problem as tests were exactly 4 weeks apart and I think my cycle might be more like 32-34 days. Doc didn't give me any advice on blood test days (even though I asked). Now being referred to OBGYN which is taking AGES and in the meantime feeling v frustrated. Gave in last weekend and bought a home ovulation kit, but all this spotting means I'm not sure when to test. Last AF was "due" (I think) last Monday but spotting started 5 days before that; was on and off until today when I seem to be getting going properly. Ovulation kit says to start 12 days after 'the first day of your period' - as if it's that easy?!

Sorry for long post, but any advice or suggestions on using the ovulation kits or ttc in general? DH is lovely and sympathetic but can't really understand when I start talking about brown blood (also not the sexiest of topics).

Countmyblessings Thu 14-Jun-12 14:16:35

Ohhhhhh it's quiet on here!!!! Big wave to you all welcome newbies!
Alwayshopeful13 & Mrscool! I really hope you enjoy this thread and share all the mind games our bodies do too us , spot the symptom game
And let's POAS game!
Moo - well done on the oving!!!! Whoop!
Ilove - how's you doing has the dizzy spells gone? It's weird I hope my cousins little one all the time feed him and change him etc and tell enjoy it! I guess I'm trying to really let go, so I can free up space in my heart for the thought of me maybe or maybe not having another one, as that is not really in my control!!!!!! Avoiding getting pregnant for now as we have family hols planned for December!
Ilove I was thinking I would of had my scan pic of my baby by now! And my BB friend had her scan as her profile picture great!!!
Was going to decorate boys room but db7 keeps writing on the walls!!!!
Db7 & Db13 we are their legal guardians been with us for nearly 5 years now!!!!!

Mezzaluna Thu 14-Jun-12 15:10:34

Hi all, and thank you for the warm welcome! smile
Sorry for going AWOL, had to go away for work for the past week and everything has been a bit crazy.

count I know the feeling of not being in control - not knowing whether I will ever be able to carry a baby to full term is one thing, but this emotional rollercoaster on top of everything isn't helping... Good luck with the trying once you decide to get going again.

mrscool welcome smile Irregular cycles really does complicate things, doesn't it. My cycles were all over the place after my first miscarriage. not sure which tests you took, but the ones I'm having (as soon as my body starts working again...) is lupus, thrombophilia,thyroid, follicle stim hormone, LH and prolactin all to be taken btw days 1-5 of my next cycle, and then progresterone which must be taken on day 21. I don't know much about these things but I assume it's fairly standard, it seems really weird that your doctor didn't advice on blood test days! You might have had different tests though. Best of luck with the OPKs, I haven't been using them every cycle but after ages of no success I decided to give it a go last spring - and it turned out I ovulate much later in the cycle than I thought. It feels good to take control of these things and know a bit more about what goes on in your body. The spotting makes it trickier, but as long as your cycles are about the same length, you should ov around the same time each month.

berries I hope you are feeling better?

mooley fingers crossed! smile

kitty, munchkin, disco and all you other lovely ladies, hope your are feeling ok and having a positive week!

To those of you who have suffered miscarriages and/or ectopics - I was just wondering if you have any advice on how to deal with this emotional rollercoaster? It's almost three weeks since my op, and whilst I have days in a row where I'm coping fine, the meltdowns come with no warnings. Went to see my best friend and her newborn daughter this weekend and was expecting it to be tough, in stead I just felt at peace with the tiny one sleeping on my chest all day, and I thought - it will happen for us too in time. Now - she has had several miscarriages, a tough pregnancy/birth and a rough start with the little one so maybe because I know how longed for this baby is it was different, I don't know.

Then the next day at work, four pregnancy announcements from various places, two of the "whoopsie" kind, and I had to go for a very very long loo break... Then in the afternoon a presentation by a very very cleaver lady but 7m prego. No idea what she said, think I was just staring at her belly... I hate being so out of control with my emotions, no idea what to do though. Sorry about ranting on and on here - must say it seems to help a little though. My friends and family seem to have moved on and "forgotten" about it all in a way, but for me its still so raw and sore.

Countmyblessings Thu 14-Jun-12 16:02:08

Hi Mezz- the rollercoster of emotions has become a part of my day to day life which I have now learnt to accept like a old time chum! Most of my family including my hubby has moved on!!!! I had to announce the other day that I was having my 1st AF since the ectopic and that was hard! He hugged me and said sorry he had no clue!!! It felt a bit better but I guess for him being strong and not getting emotional about it is what he dies best! I don't think I could handle a emotional crying hubby!
I have taken refuge in mn and writing in my emotions diary! Which really helps as I look back in how I was in April to now is amazing! I also have no problems holding babies! I guess it's because I never got to hold my babies it different but pregnant women is still hard for me! And I guess looking at a growing belly when yours never got there is hard! And when it's a close friend or work mate it double worse!
I guess I have real understanding of both missed miscarriage and ectopic as I've been through them both! Someone said " it could of been worse, it could of been a still born or a cot death" I just looked at them stunned at how insensitive that comment was!!!! Some people should walk with a talk warning " some words may offend"

Countmyblessings Thu 14-Jun-12 16:03:20

Spelling error- "does" not "dies!!!!!!!!'

Count what a terribly insensitive and awful thing to say. I'm shock!! Whether you lose your unborn child or born child, the pain is the same. You have lost a part of you that can never be recovered!

Even though my plight is nowhere near as bad as yours and some of the other ladies on this site, I feel very sad knowing I should be getting ready for my 12 week scan rather than going on Clomid!

You are all being amazingly strong and courageous! And this WILL happen for us all smile

Countmyblessings Thu 14-Jun-12 17:43:49

Moowoo- I'm sending you a big, fat hug!!!! Yes the scan around this time, my data is saying I would if been 13 weeks as I was abit unsure how far gone I was and yes it's hard!!!!! I was this far gone last year when I had my MMC so double boooooooo!!!!!!

MrsCool Thu 14-Jun-12 17:50:25

Thanks for the support. I really didn't realise how other people just don't get it. Was really pleased to finally 'confess' to my sister in law that we were having problems and find out that she had gone through a lot of the same. Why are we so embarrassed about it?

I've been wondering about buying a 30 pack kit of ov testers because cycle is so messed up but not sure that it's worth it or if it will just make me dwell on it more.

Count I totally agree that people can be really insensitive. I'm just so glad I live in the age of the Internet and can share with people who get it!

Mezzaluna Thu 14-Jun-12 18:06:36

shock Count people say some horrific things!

I'm chiming in with you Mooley - This WILL happen for us all smile

MrsCool I'm the kind of person that pretty much dwells on everything anyway, and when you have been trying for a while with no success I found it really helpful with the OPKs so that you know you are putting the effort in at the right time. AF showing up month after month after month and excessive POAS with negative results takes such a toll! I'd go for the 30 pack one, but it all depends how you feel about it.

So, I have have spent the afternoon symptom spotting, which is completely insane as the chance of being pregnant already is so so so slim. Not to mention probably unadvisable... I'm completely exhausted, nauseous, sore boobs... which in reality probably means AF is around the corner somewhere, and I can start having tests taken and we can start trying again. Dreading this AF, but also longing to function normally again.

MrsCool Thu 14-Jun-12 18:19:25

Mezza I was feeling low the other day so went out and did stuff I won't able to when preggo or after: drank wine, bought expensive and inappropriate clothes and then had a lazy lie-in the next day with DH.

Know the wine isn't a good idea any time at the mo, but thought first day of AF was best time if I was ever going to it! New clothes are awesome btw, now do I have the guts to wear 'smart shorts'' to work...

Munchin Thu 14-Jun-12 20:15:35

Oh my god Count I can't believe someone said that to you, So very hurtful and absolutely no consideration. You lost a much wanted baby no matter how far on you were!!!! Fair play to you raising your two brothers and I'm sure you have your hands full. A nice big holiday is no less than ou deserve.

Moo all it takes is once so fx this will be your month.

Berries I can imagine it was tough seeing your friend and her new baby. It just stirs up hidden emotions. Fx you get your bfp next week. Your right we need a few bfp's here!!!

Welcome Mrscool, I don't know much about what spotting means except to say I have had it pretty much for six weeks after my op. it just gets to you that you don't know what's going on with your body. Go on wear those new shorts!!!! But yes nothing like a bit of retail therapy.

Mezza don't be too hard on yourself it is only three weeks and everything is still very raw. I think it's the same for everyone you have times where you just cry and feel low and then rest of time you just go on automatic and get on with things. Maybe family don't know what to say and just say nothing? My closest friend kept ringing me everyday after it happened asking if I was alright and I just wanted to scream no its fecking not!!! Eventually I told her that and she used to say I know your feeling shite but hope it gets easier soon. I cried a lot and felt very low first few weeks as I felt that was our last shot and that it was game over. But when dh said to me lets try again if I wanted to, it gave me hope and honestly that is what got me through it.

Disco , Hellokitty hope all is well.

Had Ds sports day yesterday, miserable wet day but he won the threelegged race and it was so funny to watch but he was so chuffed to have won something. Made his day.

Are yous watching the european cup??? Everything else is getting shafted on tv for it.

hellokittydrivesmenuts Thu 14-Jun-12 22:06:52

count- thats shocking!!!!! i cannot believe it!!! i hope she never experiences it as she will realise how awful it was.
Moo- mega hugs- have you started the clomid? it sucks! xx
berries- you are a brave lady the first visit to see newborn has to be worst xx
Mezza and munchin- all well here- due on saturday and BFN today and had 2nd reflexology and she said could feel that period was about to arrive :-( but on a positive note i get to chat to my lovely ladies on here!!
Mrs cool- welcome- come hand hold with us xx

Kitty not on Clomid yet, appointment on Tuesday. But have managed to lay an egg all on my own again this month!! 3rd high temp this morning confirmed it, plus I had horrendous cramps, ov pain and nausea which I had the very first time I ov'd after the HSG! so feeling ok at the moment, just hope the last 2 chems cleared everything out and if we are successful this month that the little bean sticks. Only 11 more days to go until testing wink

On phone so will catch up properly later.

Welcome cool grin

Oh and *kitty, sorry for the BFN! Not over til she arrives though.

MrsCool Fri 15-Jun-12 10:58:33

Good luck Moo fingers crossed. Other than multiple births, what are te downsides to Clomid? Obviously prefer to ov on my own but is it nasty to take?

Cool I'm not actually on Clomid yet, so not really sure what the side effects are! I have read that it can dry up CM and there might be some hormonal issues (being a bit more sensitive etc). Other than that I'm not too sure. Sorryn

iloveberries Fri 15-Jun-12 15:59:23

hey folks - wow i can't keep up!!!

Mezzalunar - You just have to ride the rollercoaster unfortunately. I have only just realised this and been fighting it for too long. Now if i feel sad instead of trying to "man up" and brave it out, I have a good old cry. It's 20 week scan time for october babies (My EP baby was due in oct) so facebook is not my friend at the moment although i am making all the appropriate "oohs and aaahs" at the texts announcing whether people are having girls or boys. One of my friends was banging on about "how lovely it will be to have one of each" as she was going for her scan for DC2 and i just wanted to scream "bre grateful for whatever you get" ggggrrrrr.

Seeing the baby was horrible. I did everything appropriate but declined to hold her. DFriend was very understanding.

Af is due next weds i think. I'm not testing this month. My boobs feel heavy which I had with my ectopic. I am hoping it is a sign of a BFP in the right place and not an ectopic. I said I wouldn't symptom spot but it is bloody hard when I am so hopeful to be preggars but also so paranoid.

Moo - well done on the egg laying!! It will be you soon - you'll probably have twins you know??! smile

MrsCool - you totally did the right thing buying inappropriate clothes and drinking wine. Well done you smile

When are other people testing?

Have a good weekend everyone xx

Berries are you not going to test at all or are you going to wait until you are officially officially late and then test. That is what i plan to do. AF should be due around the 27th/28th and after having 2 chems I am definitely going to wait until a few days after just in case it decides to turn up late.......again!

You were very brave visiting the baby and I don't blame you for not having a hold. Well done you though, for being appropriate and strong. I have every faith that this will happen for you (and hopefully this month too!!!)

Kitty have you tested again yet?

Count how are you doing?

Disco hope you are ok as well!

<big waves to everyone else>

Trying to revise but now starting to get distracted; have been at it since 9:30am but my assessment is Tuesday and there is still so much to try and cram in!!!!! Aaaargh!!! Although, it's such a nasty day that I don't mind sitting in and doing work!!! (well, maybe I mind just a little!)

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!! smile

iloveberries Sat 16-Jun-12 18:53:48

well i tested - BFN. I don't know why i did it as now i am in a foul mood.
I thought all my positivity might be rewarded with a BFP this month but i guess i was just getting my hopes up!

Granted it is only sat and AF not due till weds BUT I did get bad cramps this morning so the bitch is probably on her way. I just don't remember heavy boobs with AFs in the past so thought I might have fluked all the doctors and gone and got pregnant.

DH said to me "It's only the first month" and I had to remind him that actually it was the 12th month, just the first since the ep.

TTC is so shit isn't it!!!

Oh berries sorry it's BFN buuuuut, it is very early. What would you be? About 10/11dpo? Implantation might only just have happened. You know all too well that early testing does no good!! smile

Men just don't get it, do they!?! Yes it's only been 1 month of trying since the EP but that doesn't cancel out all the other attempts!! Sheesh! Men!!

My boobs are sooooooo sore. Even my pj top rubbing against them is making me flinch with pain! At least I know I have def ov'd though and Fx'd its a good sign because with the first chem, I had the exact same thing. Just hope that if it is our month I get a bean that actually sticks!!

iloveberries Sun 17-Jun-12 08:33:16

iknow! I am so bossy when it comes to telling others not to test early! i just couldn't help myself!

no more testing for me though!

Not bossy berries just sensible!! It's so hard though when you just want to know, your body is giving out the right signals but the tests are giving the right results.

As much as I am desperate to know, I couldn't stand the heartbreak of another chem if I test early. So might test the day before AF or wait until the day after if she's late!!

Discolite Sun 17-Jun-12 22:07:57

Did I really last post on Monday? That's ages ago!

Moo good luck for your appointment and the exam thingy. And well done on ovulating!

Berries, testing too early isn't good. Hope the bfn was a false negative.

Count, what an insensitive thing to say. You really don't need that sort of idiotic comment after what you've been through.

Mrs Cool, Mezzaluna and Hellokittydrives me nuts - Hi!

Well, I'm chuffed as I have lost 4 lbs since last weekend which seems nuts but it's true. Even if it is just water it's made me feel happier. Oh, and I'm not on a stupid crash diet either! No doubt it'll slow down now but it's a great start. I've also been to the gym twice and stopped drinking. DP isn't drinking either, and boy is he grumpy grin.

I did have a rubbish thing happen today. An acquaintance who I really don't know very well at all said to me as we were saying goodbye "Good luck on making a baby". On seeing my no doubt stricken expression she said "you are trying aren't you?" I was just so shocked I said yes. It means that one of DPs closest friends has been gossiping about us and I'm so fucking fucked off. We told them in confidence and this is the second time that someone who shouldn't know has passed a comment. I feel really violated now - is my miscarriage also a topic of gossip? Grr. DP rang one of his friends who is lovely and I thought unlikely as the leaker. They thought maybe the aquaintence had guessed which doesn't add up in my opinion. Just because they've seen me not drinking on two occasions? Anyway, hopefully if it happens again I won't be so shocked that I'll forget to ask who the poxy moronic blabber mouth is...

Disco well done on your weight loss that is bloody brilliant. Go you!!!

People are so bloody insensitive and should learn to keep their mouths shout. How very dare they say such a thing to you!!! Hope you are feeling ok about it now. I know I would be seething!!

Smile87 Mon 18-Jun-12 08:14:45

Waves can I join. Weve just been to see our GP as its been 2 years. My bloods came back ok according to the Dr's receptionist anyway but not sure exactly what that means. Im waiting for a scan and hubby for a sperm test. In the mean time I am tryting to keep positive. Have come to a decision after a really miserable fathers day (resulted in me driving off and having a good cry for an hour in a nearby layby, then putting on my happy face for all the family) that Im going to focus on losing weight until Christmas still have the tests and scans and see how the ground lies in January a few stone lighter. As completly fedup of thinking about it and I know i will still be distraught as people get pregnant and have thier babies around me. But I will not give up my life to TTC!!!!
Sorry a bit long but needed that.

iloveberries Mon 18-Jun-12 12:18:00

HI smile and welcome.....

disco - i can't believe that, well actually i can as people say the most stupid things. One of my friends (who knows everything we've been through) asked me if i wanted to go and see "what to expect when you're expecting" with her. durrrrr. NO.

Well AF arrived this morning. FFS. I knew in month after op that i would be amazingly lucky to conceive but i'd been being so positive I was hopeful. Oh well. I'm trying not to get too obsessed but did have a blub when it happened and DS came and gave me a cuddle and said "don't be upset mummy" which made me blub even more. I know i am so lucky to have him but it's hard when everyone else is having DC2+3 around me.

How is everyone else doing?

iloveberries Mon 18-Jun-12 12:18:21

clearly i mean 1st month trying after the op...!

Just wrote a bloody long message and it didn't post sad

Upshot was - berries i was comisserating with you on the arrival of AF as I had everything crossed that this would be your month.

I then went on a long rant about how i am stressed about tomorrow assessment and can;t be bothered revising anymore as I feel like I have been at it non stop since Saturday morning!!!

Then finished with boring everyone with a TTC update, that basically said I was on 6DPO and getting a bit twitchy.

Anyway, boobs are still sore so at least I know I ov'd smile

And it's finally stopped raining smile

iloveberries Mon 18-Jun-12 16:55:57

Thanks mools - i am sad today.
this ttc is so hard isn't it.
Good that you Ov'd though! FX this is your month smile

Munchin Mon 18-Jun-12 17:20:42

Sorry berries that the oul witch showed up. Chin up, have a glass vino!! It does get you down each month.

moo good luck with your appointment and exam tomorrow. Hope all goes well.

Well done disco on the weight loss. Wish I could get motivated. Crisps are now my problem!!!! That was annoying that your friends broke your confidence. Put you in awkward situation.

Welcome smile

Continued on my painting frenzy. But had a blow out with my mum. It's been brewing for a long time now. I feel she didn't want me to have anymore kids and felt she was relieved when I mc. Maybe I am being harsh but you don't ask someone is this is your last child when they tell you that they are pg or say well I presume you wanted it. No hugs or squeals of delight. All that and she can be very cutting with her remarks in general if your not suiting her. Now she is very good to me in lots of other ways but just think after years of saying nothing I had enough.
Anyway it was a bit of a waste of time as I got told its all me, I need help bla bla...... My dh was flabbergasted. So we just trod on. I'm an only child and she is seriously over protective and still treats me like I'm a teenager. Ok sorry rant over!!!

Mezzaluna Mon 18-Jun-12 17:48:22

Hi all!

berries sorry to hear AF showed up sad Feels like a blow every time... Thanks for the good advice, I know I just need to go with it, it's just so difficult sometimes.

Had a wonderful weekend full of those escapades that won't be happening any more if we ever have children, such as an impulsive pub-to-pub and staying up drinking and chatting with friends all night and sleeping in on Sunday. But the Monday morning blues is hitting double hard today. Hoping I will feel better tomorrow.
Also realised today I have gained 3 kgs in the three weeks since the op shock
Not fair. Getting back in gym-mode ASAP!

Congrats with your weightloss disco!

mools best of luck tomorrow!

munchkin sorry to hear you had a blow with your mum. I hope you patch it up, but sometimes I find even if it doesn't fix anything, it helps to have a rant and say what's on your mind.

So anyone testing this week? Feel like someone on here needs to get the BFP train going! smile
This is my fourth week since my op, so I'm hoping AF will show up towards the end of the week as it "normally" would, so we can start trying. Sore boobs and mild cramping, so shouldn't be too far away. Hard to say though as my hormones might still all be in a muddle.

Countmyblessings Mon 18-Jun-12 19:49:18

Moowoo- I think you should revise if you want and take a break and do something relaxing if u want!!!!
Ilove - I'm sorry AF got you it's hard when you heart wants something to happen its just how you feel!!!
Welcome Smile- I hope you enjoy this journey with us as your in good company!!!!
Disco - I can't actually I can believe the things people say, just bloody nosey and rude!!!!!
Anyone else I may have forgotten Hi!!!!!
I have not been doing much but today decided to plant some lovely plants in the garden very proud and it looks great!!!!
The weather has been up and down but no rain!!!! Whoop!

Mezzaluna Tue 19-Jun-12 09:51:55

count hope you are enjoying the result of yesterdays hard work in the garden smile

Ah, my mood is even worse today.... sad
MIL just called, haven't spoken to her since the op, didn't really want to speak to anyone the week after, and then they went on hols, so this morning she phoned saying how sorry she was it went wrong again etc - and then she goes, I just have to tell you what just happened to my colleagues daughter blah blah blah. So apparently this girl (25 and single) gave birth last week without even knowing she was pregnant (I keep hearing these stories, but seriously - how unaware of you body can you be?!). Almost wanted to scream into the phone - in which way exactly do you think this story helps?!? People all over "accidentally" fall pregnant all the time, and I'm still VERY MUCH not pregnant!
People really just don't get this.

Ah rant over, sorry ladies!

Hope you are all having a more positive week, sun is shining again where I am, think having lunch outside today should help! smile

iloveberries Tue 19-Jun-12 10:28:12

oh criky - i can't believe MIL told you that.....

i think you have inspired me to start a thread about 'insensitive things people say when you've lost a baby'.......

still gutted about AF arriving but hey - gotta get on haven't i??

starting counselling in July so hoping that will help me deal with some of this shit!

Mezzaluna Tue 19-Jun-12 11:30:38

I know... actually, she isn't the first one in the last few weeks who have told me stories of accidental/sudden pregnancies. The only logic I can think of is they probably think - see, it will happen to you too before you know it! type thing, but when you are entering the third year of ttc and have suffered three losses, it just rubs it in really...

Can totally sympathize with feeling gutted about AF sad Since my first loss every single period has felt like a slap in the face. But yes - you have to get on. Take care of yourself, try to do something nice, and we'll all keep our fingers x'd that next month is the one that sticks!

What is with insensitive people at the moment???!?!?!angry mezza really sorry you had to deal with that, and bite your lip no doubt as well!!

I think people live in cloud cuckoo land most of the time and think you just look at a man and instantly fall preggers!! Well it's sooooo much harder than that!!!!

Appointment went well, have been given a script for 6 months of Clomid grin and need to go in for 21 day bloods when I start a new cycle. Feeling a bit more positive. Just wish it was 5 and the dreaded assessment is over too.

One down......one to go.......smile

Munchin Tue 19-Jun-12 16:53:02

Mezza omg!!!! Mil/mums!!!! People say the most awful things, weird sense of how this would comfort you. I found best comment that was said to me was I'm so sorry you must feel so low. They left it at that and it did sum it up. So least said is better. How you kept your cool with mil fair play to you.

Berries excellent idea for a new thread. Sorry your feeling so low today. It's hard to know what to say to give your enthusiasm back. But fx for next month.

moo great you got your drugs after worrying you wouldn't. Hope exam went ok.

Count well done on the gardening.

Feeling a bit up and down. My bf sister mc two weeks before me and she is now 7 wks pg. I'm so happy for her but at same time feel left behind and maybe I won't get another chance. Ongoing tension with mother not helping either.

Countmyblessings Tue 19-Jun-12 19:30:51

Hi all as I said before people's mouths should come with a health warning because words do offend!!!
I def believe it worse from a loved one, family member or good friends!
Wow your Mezza - that's so cold and hurtful I don't know y people say such things! What do they expect you to say?
Ilove - that thread is a good idea?!!! I will def be posting on there!
Hi to everyone else,Munchin- yeh I understand how u feel someone I know had a mc after me last year got pregnant straight after and had her baby on the weekend! So happy for them lively people but it does hurt as your still waiting for things to go good for you!'
As we all deserve happiness of a much wanted baby right?
My garden looks lovely very happy with it!!!!

Hi ladies!! In pub watching match but just popping in to say that I passed my assessment!! gringrin whoop whoop!!

Thanks for all you're kind words and support!!! smile

Countmyblessings Wed 20-Jun-12 00:31:35

Great one - Moowoo!!!!! We knew YOU could do it!!!
Hope you had a good few drinks to celebrate!!!
I guess the football results also added to the good vibes in pubs up and down the country!!!!!!!
Whoooppppp whhooooopppppp!!!!

MrsCool Wed 20-Jun-12 08:19:34

Hey all. I got quite annoyed at a friend trying to give me 'advice' and sympathy the other day. I thought 'what the hell does she know about it. I don't want to talk about how I'm ttc and no luck.' But then when I was whining to dh, I did think that maybe they're trying too and she was even less confident than me to talk about it.

I guess as much as people don't know what is going on with me, I don't know what's going on with them.

That said, it's still freaking annoying when friends start tellin me to 'just relax' or try whatever pseudo-science conception trick they've read about.

Hope everyone's having a good week and enjoying the sunshine!

Mezzaluna Wed 20-Jun-12 12:03:12

Way to go moo! smile

munchkin I get that too when friends announce their pregnancies. I try my best to feel happy for them, but can't help but feel left behind.

Good point mrscool about not knowing what goes on with everyone else. Going through all this has really changed me, and knowing what I do now I would never think of asking anyone a question like "so when are you guys going to start trying for a baby?". A few years ago though... I was totally oblivious.

So, AF turned up last night. I suppose I should feel relieved that it didn't take that long to get it back, and that we can now start trying etc, but to be honest it still feels kind of shit...
Went to get the first batch of blood tests taken this morning shock I had no idea what I was in for! Was expecting the usual 3-ish vials, but they took seven! Feeling incredibly dizzy still.
Now there is the 21 day test, and then my appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic in the middle of July. Whether they find something or not, I'm really dreading this whole process. sad

Discolite Wed 20-Jun-12 18:56:41

Moo Well done on the assessment! All the revision during your time off obviously worked, huzzah! But even more excitingly...CLOMID! Yeah! Seeing as you've ovulated yourself pretty well the last few cycles then clomid can only be the cherry on the top. Fingers crossed it works, and works quickly. You've waited long enough.

Mezza people just don't think do they? They think they are being helpful or kind or something but really, think a thing through before saying it! Sorry about AF, it really brings it all back, doesn't it? The miscarriage clinic - I can understand why you feel trepidation but they may find something they can treat, mightn't they? And then you could get pregnant with a better chance of everything going ok.

Berries so sorry about your period turning up. It is pretty gutting I know. If I can try to make you feel better, if you still feel pretty low then it may be because of period hormones. I felt dreadful and really depressed until my period exited, and now I feel quite normal which is a relief. We've just got to keep on plugging away, in all sense of the word smile

Count glad your garden is looking great now! My garden is nice and weed free but something has been digging up my young cosmos plants, grr! Could it be the dog? Hmm.

Mrscool if only it was as easy as just relaxing!

Muchin I hope your mum has a change of heart about being pretty annoying...

CD13 in my world, if I was average that would be ovulation pretty soon but not for me, grrr. I still have to wait for at least 7 days, going by previous months! DP just described having sex to conceive as a 'happy chore'. I know what he means! Hopefully it will snap him out of the bad mood he is still in cos we've both decided to give up booze. It really isn't a problem for me as I've been drinking so lightly for over a year now but he is really missing it...we need all the help we can get though after his viral infection. If the high temps killed all his sperm then this coming ovulation won't have a chance anyway. Still, you never know...

Hey ladies. Very quiet in here. Hope everyone is ok and those waiting are doing so patiently and those DTD are doing so regularly.

WE WILL CATCH THOSE EGGS!!!!!

Disco sorry that ov seems to have changed. Buggery bugger!!! Glad your DH sees sex as a happy chore though, but not great he is being a bit moody. He'll get used to the lack of alcohol though. If he knows it's not forever then maybe that would help. I have tried to say the same thing to my DH but he doesn't listen!!

Berries what's going down with you?

Count glad the garden is looking lovely. Well done for all the hard work smile

Mezza sorry about the witches' arrival. It's a bitch all of this.

Thanks for all you congrats. I have finally come down of cloud 9 and have to knuckle down now for the real thing in November. Aaaargh!!

In TTC news; I am currently 9dpo and my cervix is def closed (Hurrah!!) I also can't stop being thirsty and I am abolutely shattered all of the time (I could easily crawl under my desk and sleep right now!)

Am getting very twitchy to test, but know that at 9dpo it's pointless, so I must remain strong and stick to my original plan of waiting until the day before AF is due. I still have some more cheapies but have got 2 digi's on standby plus i have ordered 2 more FRER.

Just want to see 2 lines and get a stick frickin' bean angry grin

<waves to everyone else>
<stomps out of room>

Munchin Thu 21-Jun-12 14:45:35

Congrats moo on passing. Well done and hope you enjoyed a few in the pub!!! It's hard to resist poas when you have them in the house.

Disco tell dh it's only very short term for him because as soon as yous have your bfp his ban on alcohol is over. Glad he's enjoying the practicing lol. That's what my dh says not to get pg too quickly!! We wish.

Mezza sorry AF arrived but at least your getting on with your tests and sure maybe this month will be the one.

Hello to everyone else.

Absolutely nothing happening with me, no AF, no symptoms, just still get very occasional spotting every now and then. Wouldn't have a clue where I'm at in a cycle so pointless trying opks or hpt sticks.

Smile87 Thu 21-Jun-12 18:44:25

No idea whats going on with my cycle either, brown discharge today 17 days after last brown discharge, 41 days after last period started. Humm no idea whats going on.

Countmyblessings Thu 21-Jun-12 23:52:23

Hi ladies-
Mrs cool - don't you just want to tell these so called friends "where to shove" the advice & sympathy!!!!!!
Mezza-Ahhh boo about AF! Wow those blood vampires really had there fill of you, let hope it's sheds some light! Fingers crossed!
Disco- " Happy Chore" I like that title!!! Hopefully not too long for your BFP and drinks all around! Well apart from u!!!
Moowoo- ahhh you will be fine for nov hopefully you will have your BFP and that will be a great distraction! Sticky bean yep yep! Step away from those TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Munchin- hope your body settles soon, it's horrible just that knowing what's happening!
I'm oving today I'm cramping from my right side, back pains !

iloveberries Fri 22-Jun-12 06:35:11

I'm still here just had a manic week!

You're right disco - the hormones of AF do not help. I feel heaps better today though... new cycle and all that jazz!

Well done on passing the test moo! and clomid - FANTASTIC!

I am resuming reflexology soon and really looking forward to it! Hoping that it helps as well. Booked a holiday this morning already - get me so productive! whoop!

Wow berries well done on booking a holiday. Where are you off to? I have used up all my holidays until Xmas sad but that's my own fault for swanning off to Bruge and Wales and god knows where else smile Hope the reflexology helps you to relax and goes some way to aiding a BFP in the not so distant future.

Count well done on the ov front; are you still abstaining from TTC until after your holiday or are you thinking of giving it another crack a bit sooner?

Munchin sorry that your body is playing silly buggers with you. Hope you get some sort of clear and definitive answer soon!!

Well 10dpo today and I think the witch might be beckoning. Have the most awful cramps that come and go, they don't last very long, but boy when they arrive i really know about it. Kind of toe curling. However, temp is at the highest it has ever been and my boobs are still tender (not as bad though). AF not really due for another 5 days, so she would be sloping in early and definitely ruining my party (and my beautiful chart). A turtle this morning has been inconclusive. Creamy CM and CP low, soft and closed. Only time will tell, but needed to share as you are the only people who I can talk to about this stuff that actually understand!!

Bloody wet here today as well; stuck my head out into the garden before I came to work as I was worried that some of my young veg might get over saturated, but i think it might be ok. My biggest fear now is that the kitchen floods as we are scheduled to get a lot of rain (i live in the northwest!!)

Hope everyone has a good day and manages to stay dry smile

Countmyblessings Fri 22-Jun-12 16:20:28

Hi ladies - totally relaxed day just home exercised and had a light lunch and just chilled loved it!!!!
Ilove- well done on booking a hols - whoop!
Moowoo- I have everything crossed for you that this will be your month!!!
I'm holding off the TTC till maybe August as I don't want to miss out on our hols if I do get pregnant!!!!'
Oving pain is worse then ever do u think it's because it's from the other side or maybe because it's the first since the op!
Ilove was it like this for u?

Munchin Sat 23-Jun-12 00:45:42

Ladies all this talk of holidays is giving me the urge to book one especially with all this crappy rain. Where is everyone off to??

Get you Berries booking a holiday at 6.30am!!!! I was still in the land of nod!!! But good on you.

Count you have great restraint not ttc when you know your o'ing. But I suppose you want to be able to enjoy our hols.

Moo I'm intrigued by your cramps. Do you normally get them this far in advance of af? Liking the sound of the high temps.

Smiles the irregular spotting is annoying. Bad enough not getting pg but could we just not have normal cycles!!!!

Hello to disco and Mezza.

Well I got into my painting buzz again tonight and finished the sitting room, took three bloody coats.

Morning ladies!

Count well done on being so strong during ov! Not long to go now until your are back TTC and at least you can have a stress free holiday not wondering or worrying if you are or aren't. Very sensible.

Munchin way to go with the painting!! The rainy weather does have some benefits then smile

As for the cramping, it's now stopped. Don't usually cramp until the day AF is due and the bleeding normally follows straight away and I'll cramp for 2-3 days. I feel nothing now. Weird.

Should really be getting up to tidy the house and put a wash on before we head out for a 2nd birthday party but just sooo tired (plus I have toothache!!!) sad

Discolite Sat 23-Jun-12 12:44:13

Afternoon Moo!

I reckon I'm gearing up to ovulate! Only CD 16 too. Signs - pains on left hand side last night, a temperature dip this morning and a high cervix. Yeah! Normally I ov days 20 to 24 so hopefully I'll ov nice and early for once.

The dog has just fished a ball out from under the sofa that I have never seen before, WTF?! DP has just come home and he's never seen it either. Mad. Has the dog been going to the shops without me?

In other news I've lost another pound in weight, making it 5 lbs in two weeks and with a BMI of 24.8 I'm officially not overweight, yeah!

Moo, hopefully the weirdness is a good sign? When is your period due? Quite soon now methinks.

Well done on the painting Muchin! I'm going to the tip today and will then commence stripping border off wallpaper I want to keep. That's not going to be fun...

Count, the pain could be worse cos of your op I suppose...even tho you're not going to use this egg it is good to know everything is going on normally!

Berries, glad you feel better. Hormones can be a bitch! Where you going? Our summer hols are in Pembrokeshire this year, my favourite place in the world.

Smile, that does sound odd. Hope things become clearer with your cycles. Have you felt better since Father's day?

grin at your dog and the thought of him popping down the shops on his own grin!! Aren't they wonderful!!

Great news on the ovulation Disco whoop!!! Will you be able to dtd tonight?? Hope so smile and well done on your weight loss, thats bloody brilliant smile

My SSing is getting worse. I feel so nauseous and have tried to be sick but nothing happening. There is a smell in the house that is really churning my stomach but I have no idea what it is or where it's coming from its just nasty!

My FRERs arrived this morning, I know I shouldn't, but I'm gonna test with FMU because the last 2 days I've not felt right and the cramps lasting for 1 day was just odd!!

Discolite Sat 23-Jun-12 20:18:25

Moo...are you sure you should? Those chemical pregnancies upset you so much. I know I'm guilty of testing too early myself but would you feel comfortable if it did come up positive but you knew you still had a few days til your period arrives?

Anyway, I've got my fingers crossed for you!

We DTD this morning so that's sorted. Just know ovulation will make me wait now I've got all excited!

Where did you get your FRERs from Moo? They're so pricey in the shops!

Disco I know you are soooo right, but the not knowing is killing me. Plus, i am armed with Clomid now, so I know I will ov again next month and feel like a normal TTCer grin also I feel different this month. The last two times I've cramped all the way through the 2ww but this time just that one day and nothing! I'll see how the temps look and go from there.

Got the FRERs on Amazon. 2 pack for £6.97 plus free shipping. Ordered them 20th, dispatched 21st and arrived this morning!!

Discolite Sun 24-Jun-12 11:36:49

Did you test Moo? If it was a bfn don't forget you've got six month of guaranteed ovulations to look forward to which is so much better than those epic cycles you used to experience.

I'm going to start on my new office today. I had mine up in the attic but the extra flight of stairs meant I never went up there. Then I felt guilty, so I went up even less. Stupid I know. So I'm swapping the attic for the main spare room which is opposite our bedroom so I shouldn't find it too onerous to get to grin

To be honest it's such a horrid day I may as well be decorating, don't fancy going outside!

Dragged DP to the gym, I've found a way to cheer him up - supper! If two oatcakes with a bit of cheese on cheer him up in the evening, why not?

Hope everyone else has better weather than me!

Discolite Sun 24-Jun-12 11:38:13

Oh, and I didn't ov yesterday, at least my temp didn't go up. Definitely gearing up for it tho, had an achey womb yesterday.

Disco sounds like you are being very productive. I'm having a very relaxing day. Still in jim jams playing on computer grin meant to be sorting the house out still not properly finished after moving in, but after all the revision etc just want to do nothing for a few days!!

Sorry that you've not ov'd yet but fingers crossed it happens in the next day or so. And well done on cheering hubby up grin

Thought there might have been a very faint line but think I'm kidding myself so have charted negative. Gonna sit on hands now till AF is late (hopefully)

iloveberries Sun 24-Jun-12 18:13:59

hello! we are off to turkey and i cannot wait!

No news here - just checking in and wishing everyone ovving lots of hot sex and everyone testing 2 strong sticky lines!

x

Munchin Mon 25-Jun-12 11:33:08

Hi Ladies, hope yous all had a nice weekend. It went all too fast!!!

Disco well done on the weight lost. I really need to get my act together and lose a few pounds as clothes are now digging into me. How did you get on with your DIY on your house?

Moo how are you? I know its very hard to resist POAS as I would be the very same. But as you say you now have your prescription and if af does unfortunately show up you are ready for next month. (FX you don't need to)

Berries nice to look forward to a holiday. When are you going?

How are you Count, Mezza & Smile?

Well on friday I could feel slight cramps all day. So I went home and POAS on both a hpt and opk. So the hpt was negative (don't know why I really poas on that but as I have no idea where my cycle is at I wanted to rule it out) But the OPK had a faint line. I tested again on sat and the line was much stronger. So we dtd on sat night. I tested again on sunday and line was still strong. But I had spotting on sunday (AGAIN!!!) and was feeling a little raw/sore so didn't dtd last night. I tested again this morning and the line is now very faint. I know when I am not temping I have no way of knowing if I actually O'd. Is there any point in dtd tonight? but then also we booked a holiday yest and we will be going on 27th July and maybe should leave ttc til after the hol as I have all these mad thoughts - what if I was pg and then had a mc again on hols even? would going on the holiday cause a mc? If I don't ttc then maybe I have missed this supposedly fertile time after a mc........

Someone please talk sense to me!!!

Anyhow hope everyone is having a good day.

iloveberries Mon 25-Jun-12 13:49:51

Munchkin - aaaand relax!

Regarding holiday I know how you feel. I've been thinking what if i get pg and have another ep blah blah but i can't stop life cause of TTC. We all know that conceiving and keeping babies isn't always easy so if i were you i would continue with your holiday plans. Where are you going?

RE: POallthoseS... I have no idea. I didn't get on with OPK sticks though i did use the CBFM. moo is resident OPK expert so I'm sure she'll be along in a bit to help you!!

I gotta go, DSIL coming round later smile

Munchin hope you managed to get one last deed in yesterday. From what I know, a positive OPK (line should be as dark as the control line) indicates the surge of LH and ov should occur 24-36 hours after. From the sounds of it, you have timed sex well, as sperm can live for up to 5 days in the right conditions. Do you temp? Chart CM/CP? Only 3 high temps can actually tell you that you have ovulated. OPKs only let you know that it is going to happen. Hope that helps!!

Well, 14dpo today. Don't think it's going to be my month, despite the sore boobage, on/off cramps and a headache, think AF will rock up tomorrow or Thursday as planned. BFN with FMU so not looking good sad

Really thought we'd done it this month too!

Ack well; onwards and upwards!! smile

iloveberries Tue 26-Jun-12 07:28:05

BRING ON THE CLOMID MOO!!!!!

hope you're not too down about the BFN..... hugs!

Munchin Tue 26-Jun-12 13:37:10

Thanks Moo and berries. No didn't dtd again. Was wrecked tired and decided not to with the holiday coming up at the end of July. We are heading to Lanzarote. I don't temp as I could be up a couple of times during the night. Hopefully we will get the opportunity to ttc again next month ie I keep getting regular cycles and not left for months with none. Back last January which was my last af we dtd when I got the +opk and I tested 2 weeks later and got a bfn. But no period showed up. I felt sick and got my bfp a month later in march. So I never knew if I got pg in jan or feb. All they told me at scan was baby had stopped growing at 7+6 and I never found out how far on I actually should have been.

Sorry Moo about your BFN. Hopefully its wrong but if not heres to next month on clomid.

Berries did you have a good time with your sil yest?

iloveberries Tue 26-Jun-12 16:51:48

yes, lovely time thank you. very chilled. we have decided to give our house a bit of an overhaul so getting some advice from her as she's good at stuff like that!

I am busy trying to not focus on TTC!

berries good idea trying to take your mind off TTC. It can drive you nuts! What sort of things are you planning to do to the house? I need to get out into the garden at the weekend, just hope it doesn't rain..........again!!

Munchin maybe you will get a nice surprise this month smile have everything crossed for you.

Well 15dpo and AF day today!! Although I might only be 14dpo which means AF day is not until tomorrow. Either way, there is no sign of her and my cerivx is stil closed, my temp is still well up and the boobies are still sore; I am also very very tired at the moment. But...............i am sure a positive would have shown up by now if I was pg, so I am assuming i am not and it's just a wait for AF kinda moment now. If I am 14dpo then she should be here tomorrow if not then she should turn up sometime this afternoon (if she is a no show today though and I am 15dpo, then she is officially late).

Am not going to test because i would rather have AF than see another BFN. If after a week I am lucky enough to still have high temps and no witch, then i might just be tempted to break!!

How's everyone else doing?

Munchin Wed 27-Jun-12 13:18:51

Thanks Moo. But I'd say it would be a miracle if I was pg. I'm not expecting to be. Will be happy enough if AF shows up on time. Weird to be saying that !

As I said before pg symptoms and AF symptoms are so bloody similar. The high temp sounds along with other symptoms. Really hope you are pg Moo. But if not hope AF shows up quickly so you can start your next cycle.

Discolite Wed 27-Jun-12 21:33:09

Good evening everyone. Well, I'm 90% sure that I ovulated on Monday, hurrah! On CD18 too, five days before my average ov day so that is great as well, less hanging around. Just need a third high temp to confirm but my sore nipples have given the game away to me at least (ahem). I'd be very surprised if I got pregnant tho as this time 64 days ago DP was drinking like a fish quite merry and he's had a fever that has likely killed the current batch of sperm. Oh well, I may be in with a chance...but I think August will be when his sperm hits top quality! Wish it matured on say, a weekly cycle...

Berries, ooh turkey, how lovely! And have good fun with the interior design.

Muchin the DIY went well thanks, the hot pink walls didn't need a fourth coat as I'd feared...now I've got to do the worst bit, woodwork. Ugh, hate it. Lanzarote sounds great! I heard on the radio there are some great deals in Greece, I'm tempted even tho we've got our Welsh holiday booked! Hopefully either af or more hopefully a bop will show up before too long.

Moo, any sign of AF? Not bringing you false hope but some women have to wait until 18 dpo or more for a positive test, I suppose if they've implanted late or summat. Let's hope you fit in that category!

Hello Disco and well done on the ov!!! I reckon sperm ate resilient little buggers, so you never know!!! Got absolutely everything crosses for you.

Well I have spent all morning retching (been up since 4). Still no AF and refuse to POAS for fear of BFN! Although, FF says 16dpo (making me a day late), I might only be 15dpo. Temps still high though and toothache getting more annoying (have to wait until 23rd for appointment).

Only have digis left! Not really sure what to do.........confused

berries how are things with you?

<waves to everyone else>

iloveberries Thu 28-Jun-12 07:51:03

Morning all,

Am keeping fingers crossed for you moo. I hope you're not getting ill. If you are pg it's doubtful it's MS as that doesn't kick in till around week six i think.
If i were you having had the chems you've had I would wait till Monday to test. Is that possible??!

Munchin Thu 28-Jun-12 07:55:02

Oh Moo, I don't want to jinx you but you were sick this morning omg!!!! It sounds soo promising. Your very strong to resist poas on those digis!!! I'd be like a shot.

Disco liking the sound of the hot pink walls. Yes I too hate woodwork especially when it's all white!!! It's this awful weather that makes you want to get out of country. I'm sure Wales will be lovely. So sorry for my ignorance why does it matter what dh was doing 60 days ago? Is that how long it takes to make a new batch???

Hi berries and to everyone else.

I'm off out with work tonight for meal and few drinks.

Berries with the pain in my tooth, and the need to want to take some mega strong pain killers, not sure I can hold out until Monday, but I know you are right and I need to wait until at least Saturday. I have ordered some IC's so they might turn up tomorrow meaning i can test on Saturday/Sunday. CP is now high and still closed which is a good sign.

I totally agree that i don't think I have m/s, although I have read that it can hit as early as the 4th week. So who knows. But yes, i think 6-7 weeks is more common.

My reasoning at the minute is, if i test and it is negative, at least i can take some hardcore painkillers (and NSAIDs) without worrying about harming any potential bean smile

Aaaargh; this has got to be the worst part of TTC!!!!

Anyone else testing soon? Berries, where are you up to in your cycle?

Sorry for being quite self indulgent lately, I just have no-one else to talk to about all of this and I am slowly driving myself insane blush

iloveberries Thu 28-Jun-12 08:13:28

Yeah, apparently some people get MS really early so it could be.... ;)
You have to decide what's best for you re: testing mate! I so hope it's a BFP for you, and a big sticky one smile

You haven't been self indulgent - and let's face it, that's kinda what the TTC threads are for, cause none of us can talk to people in RL about it! You go for it moo!!

I am not testing anytime soon... only on CD 10. Using my CBFM and still showing low fertility readings, though we have DTD twice since the end of AF - FOR FUN! shock horror!!!!

I think i am being a bit more realistic that it may take a long while to get another baby so i must remain positive but not get my hopes up so much. At least now i know that every pregnancy symptom under the sun is also an AF symptom (FFS!)

Good Luck moo..... you hear so many stories of people who got pg just before IVF, or Clomid etc so maybe you'll be one of them smile

Munchin Thu 28-Jun-12 10:03:24

Moo I don't want to tempt you into testing but I get ms pretty much straight away. I also get a strong metal taste in my mouth also. But I agree if you need those painkillers maybe test for that reason???whatever you decide good look and I'm keeping fx. You are not self indulgent as berries says this is the only place you can share your thoughts freely!!

Berries we have to keep positive that we will get our bfp!!!!

Mezzaluna Thu 28-Jun-12 10:11:20

Hi all! Been awol again - too much traveling. confused

moo everything crossed for you!

disco hurrah for the ov - but I also need enlightenment - 60 days?!?

berries I hear you on the not trying to think of ttc and not getting my hopes up, but personally I just can't help it... Hope you find something that works, and I'm crossing my fingers for you this month. dtd for fun - way to go! smile

munchkin hope you have a lovely night out!

...and hi to everyone else!

Not much in the way of ttc news this end. CD 10 today I think, too early to ov but cramping like mad today. Usually ov around day 16, but because of all this cramping I'm wondering if I should start the OPKs tomorrow already. My cycle has tended to change a little after the other MCs.

Called my GP yesterday about the results from all the tests last week, but all the receptionist could say was that it looks normal... I guess that is good, but I'd like to know more, so dropping by for a copy as soon as I have time.

Ok, I need to go get some coffee, so tired I'm feeling crosseyed. Can't believe it's Thursday already though, woop woop - almost weekend! smile

Discolite Thu 28-Jun-12 18:23:51

Hi Moo, hope you've stopped feeling sick...as to whether it is m/s, who knows? Mine didn't kick in til 6 weeks but as Muchin says some do get it earlier. How's your tooth? Btw this place is MADE for self indulgence, so don't worry! The only people who are as obsessed with TTC as you are, are us! Not sure if that makes sense but hey ho.

Muchin, hope you enjoy your works do! The sixty days I mentioned was a reference to spermatogenesis, the cycle of which took a mean of 64 days to complete in a relatively recent study. Admittedly it was a small sample but I got so fed up of stupid websites still saying it takes 90 days without any references cited that I went looking one day! The abstract for that study is here btw www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16406920

In fact, I think TTC could benefit from many more studies like this as so much crap gets talked about various things that will help without any scientific basis...a while ago everyone on Conception went mad over Manuka honey. If it was that good the NHS would be giving it on prescription! I also think a lot of practioners get a lot of money out of desperate women for remedies that have no biological basis. To quote my face web comic, "What we need more of is Science!"

Sorry, rant over, it's just something I've been thinking a lot about lately as you can probably tell.

Berries, you do know that DTD for fun whilst trying to conceive is banned don't you?! I am also coming to the conclusion I'm probably in it for the long haul and actually feel less pressure this way. The thing that does stress me out is my advancing age (32 but I want two children!) and more than that, DPs age, 51. Really don't want to be having a second baby when he is 55 sad

Mezza I'd book an appointment to discuss your test results if you want more info.

Right, better go and sand some woodwork. Ugh.

Wow Disco i never knew that about spermatogenesis. Wow. I am enlightened.

Mezza I echo what Disco said, you should make an appointment to go through the results with your GP; no offence to the receptionist, but they can rarely interpret the results correctly.

grin at berries having sex for fun!!! How very dare you grin

Thanks for all your kind words and support. I will self indulge more often grin

Well...............not good news here I am afraid. Knew before I even went for the loo that she had got me; temp dropped, and although not drastically, it is enough to realise that the witches arrival was imminent! I am angry more than upset, we just didn't try hard enough this month. 3 months in a row I have ov'd on my own, what if the Clomid creates super ovulation. Eeeek!!

Going to start taking it tomorrow, so will see what happens. It can only be a good thing......right?!?

Anyone watching the tennis? Can't believe Nadal is out!!! Let's hope Murray can make it to the final this year smile

It's FRIDAY!!!!!!!! YEY!!!!!!

Munchin Fri 29-Jun-12 13:52:40

Ah Moo so sorry the old witch showed up. Pure shite!!!! And all those symptoms. Really fecks with your head. Take some time to pamper yourself this weekend and then your starting on your tablets and look forward to a new cycle. Haven't seen any tennis but omg nadal out!!!

Disco I never heard of spermatogenesis. I have dh on vitamin c and zinc tablets. Don't know if they do any good. Your only a young one but I do appreciate how you feel with dh age. But sure look at Des O'Connor having babies in his 70's!!!!

Mezza as the others have said I would make an appoint to go through results with gp.

Well done Berries on dtd for fun!!! Whats that ???? Ha ha.

I had a great night out last night with lots of mohitos!!! Very tired today though.

Dh rang this morning to tell me car needs new parts costing way too much money that we didn't bargain for especially after booking hols !!!
Then my sil rang but missed the call. So she got dh instead and told him she's 10 wks pg!!! Her first baby is only 8 mths old. Have to say this news hit me hard and thank god I have time to get my head around it before speaking to her. As I think I would have starting crying on her which would not be good. Our baby should have been born in oct/nov and would have been a play mate for this baby. So my morning went down Jill rapid.

But hey it is Friday. Chin up to everyone.

Countmyblessings Fri 29-Jun-12 17:33:08

Hi all - booooohisssssss flippin AF witch!!! Moowoo I'm so sorry but armed with you clomid I'm sure it's a matter of anytime now!
I wrote this long post, and it never showed up! So I will pop back!!
Munchin - and your newly pregnant SIL not bad news just bad timing!
Mezza- as said before def go through results with gp so all the info can be explained and you can get it broken down for you!
Ilove - you go njoy yourself! Dtd as enjoyment no pressure!
Disco - loads of facts - will read it more deeply later when off my phone!
I'm off to bake cake I feel like baking!!

Mezzaluna Fri 29-Jun-12 21:50:12

Oh moo sorry about the bitch showing up! At least this month you have extra ammo!

munchkin sad news like that are soo hard to deal with. Hope you are coping ok and that you have some nice things planned this weekend.

disco - I'm totally enlightened! Turns out I don't know a whole lot about sperm... Hate doing the woodwork, but think of how nice its going to be when you're all done smile

count mmm cake - enjoy!

Re the test results - my GP is in the "probably just bad luck" camp, so unsure how enlightening it would be. I'm hoping they will go through it all at my appt at the recurrent mc clinic. Less than two weeks to go to the appt. confused

Hope you are all enjoying the weekend! We're heading out of town tomorrow, off to the coast and have a rather nice looking restaurant booked for dinner, very much looking forward to it!

iloveberries Mon 02-Jul-12 09:57:56

hey everyone,

disco - high five for realising it might be a long road! It does take a bit of pressure off doesn't it?

moo- low five for AF arriving. hagwhore. BUT as everyone else has said you're ready and clomid'd to go smile FX this is your month, god knows you deserve it. BTW - don't think "I didn't TRY hard enough". I actually think you can try too hard for a baby..... and whether there's 10 shags worth of sperm or 1 shags worth in your tubes you can still make a baby.... right???!

muchkin - my heart dropped for you reading about sil. It is so so hard. Having said that she will have a bloody nightmare having a 15month gap with her 2 kids!!!! Think of all that wonderful time you have been able to give, and can give to your DS. (I know it's little consolation when you've lost a baby but it's something I try and tell myself to make me feel a little better.) Thinking of you as I know it will be tough for you. Does she know about your loss?

CD 14 here (usually ov between 15-17) so have continued on the sex-for-fun trip!

I thought summer had arrived yesterday but it appears to have fucked off again today.... zzzzzz.

grin at your summer comment berries that really tickled me. Although completely know where you are coming from. Bloody rain!!! And thanks I know once is enough, and it was on ov day, just felt that if we had done it the day before or the day after i might be sitting here with a sticky bean instead of spotting. But you are right, doesn't matter how many times as long as one of them gets to the egg!! Enjoy that fun sex grin and catch that eggy!!

Disco how you doing? Any sign of ov yet?

Munchin so sorry that your SiL is expecting again. It just does not seem fair. But we are going to do this. We are in this together, through the smiles the tears and the laughter. And when we get our BFPs we will look back at these moments and wonder what all the fuss was about, because by then nothing else in the world will matter. What has been has been and we can look forward. It doesn't make us forget what we have been through, but what we have been through makes us stronger and better people. <hugs>

Well, day 3 of clomid, not feeling too bad. Although concerned that i might go into Super Ovulation as my body seems to be managing ov on it's own at the moment. Not that I am complaining. My ovaries have permission to release as many eggs as they wish; the only condition is that one of them gets fertilised, implants and 9 months later i am holding my beautiful child smile
POAOS and for the first time ever, the test line was barely there <whoops and does a mini my LH levels are low at last dance> which is great because it means that my LH levels are low, which means my body is working properly, which means in a week or so I should see it darken and ovulate.

I'm a little excited blush

Right, off for a brew catch up soon!!

feelslikealifetime Mon 02-Jul-12 14:18:45

hi all, this is all very new for me. now in 13th month TTC and feel like its got the better of me. how do you manage when close friends are lucky and fall preg so easily...have got a great job/fiance/home/friends etc but i dont think anyone can really know how it feels unless they are experiencing the same thing. defo fed up of the 'if you relax and dont think about it'.....
dont want to bring anyone else down, just wonder how you all stay so smile

feeling sad today, plus just spent £60 on more conception tests....i'll be skint by the time i ever get BFP!

Countmyblessings Mon 02-Jul-12 15:08:27

Hi all and welcome - feels so glad you have found us trust me we def have our highs and lows! Some of us have complicated history and some have been on this journey after some hard losses! Tests and trials and clueless cycles!!!!!
Let's hope some oldies also come and share!!!
Mezza - hope you had a lovely time up the coast!
Ilove- sounds like you are chilling which is great!
Munchin- SIL the words clueless and selfish spring to mind!

Oh feelslike i feel your pain. I guess we deal with it the best way we know how. I don't think there is a magic solution (i wish there was) or a one size fits all sort of thing.

I just have to keep telling myself that it will happen, that one day I will be looking at that pee stick and there will be 2 lovely lines on there and I have a bean that will actually stick this time.

I think we all find it hard to cope with news that someone is expecting, especially if they "weren't trying" or it was their first month. It's even worse when they say things like 'we weren't expecting it to happen so soon'

Are you undergoing any fertility investigations? After 13 months and no pregnancy you should be having everything checked out (I apologise if you have/are though).

Please don't feel you are bringing anyone down. We all have our high days and our low days (believe me I have ranted on here more times than I have had hot dinners!!!). And we do this together to offer support and understanding.

I think you just need to be kind to yourself as much as possible smile

iloveberries Mon 02-Jul-12 15:52:41

Hi Feels and sorry you're having a shit time TTC.

In short I would say that we definitely don't stay positive! It's very up and down (for me anyway). I find pregnancy announcements very hard. Particularly people's 2nd DC. irrational i know. I have taken to just putting myself first for a while. This means I see who i want when i want, I talk about things when I want and not when I don't and I don't beat myself up for having a cry from time to time. (usually a few times a week!)

BUT - I believe i HAVE to stay positive, I have to believe it will happen and I have to stay focused on that.

This is a good place for you to rant though and just get all those feelings out there!

feelslikealifetime Mon 02-Jul-12 16:02:47

thanks for the welcome!

friends got pg after one month of ttc, dont get me wrong, i am so so happy for them, i am more sad that i cant be enjoying the excitement with them, especially after ttc for what seems like forever!

i went and saw my GP last week, she said that because i am 25 i needed to wait until at least 18months before tests......i may have had a little hissy fit at her and more or less demanded some hormone level blood tests-which she eventually aggreed too, so i will be having them next month as we go on a much needed holiday in just under 2 weeks so wont be here to have to tests done. i odnt want there to be something wrong obv-just want reassurance that its just time we need (being hopeful here)

just feel like i am stuck in a constantly negetive vibe really-feel v sorry for my fiance, he just doesnt know what to do when i am upset and isnt the sort of man who would tell me he is feeling down about it too which doesnt make things at home that easy really. we have so many things that we should be excited about at the moment it just feels like we have been taken over by this and i am constantly blaming myself and putting myself down, and i cant help but give him a hard time-which isnt fair and neither of us deserve to feel this poo!

i have run out of people to talk to about it as my rlly close friends either arent ttc so have no idea or have conceived early on (and although they are very supprotive i dont want to put a downer on their excitement)

i know that there are a lot of people who have had a longer road than me and have had to deal with many more bad times-thats why i am here i guess because you know how i feel-just havnt had the guts to post before now-

wow-apologies for the essay!! smile

Munchin Mon 02-Jul-12 23:19:13

Hi ladies.

I have to say Berries I got a good chuckle at the summer came and fcuk'd again!!! Omg the torrential down pours today. Anyhow keep up the dtd for fun!!

Moo fair play to you your sounding v positive and the clomid seems to be having an effect already. Fx it will do the trick.

Welcome feels, sorry your having a tough time ttc. But you' ll find there is great support from all the lovely ladies here.

Hi count , disco and Mezza how are yous?

Thanks for all your kind words re my newly pg sil!! I know its not her fault that they are super fertile!!! It prob was hard for her telling me as she knew about my mc. Also we both have a sil who has suffered the most awful loss in that her baby girl died at 7 weeks due to SIDS. My two sil were due their babies around the same time but my sil baby was born premature and died before the other sil baby was born. So I know telling the both of us was prob hard.

Well if my positive opk was correct I should be in the 2ww now and either a bfp next week or af should be due. Either way I'm going to keep positive and believe we will all get there.

iloveberries Tue 03-Jul-12 09:34:57

You will get there munchkin! I think you're right that if people know you've had a loss then it is hard for them telling you as well isn't it. When we conceived DS very quickly i felt terrible telling i friend who i knew had been trying a while. Fortunately she was also 12 weeks and was planning on telling me at the same dinner! Our DCs were born withing a couple of days of eachother and are bestest buddies.

So sad for the loss of the 7 week old in your family. There are no words for that are there. how terrible.

Well i got the eggy sign on my CBFM today so it's bonk night tonight smile Since the EP my cycles have lost 2 days which is good as a 30 day cycle seems much shorter than a 32 day one!! haha!

Mezzaluna Tue 03-Jul-12 12:20:53

Hi all!

Welcome feels! You have come to the right place - we can all relate to how incredibly hard it feels. Ttc is so full of ups and downs - sometimes I really struggle to see how we are going to make it through this not knowing if there will ever be a happy outcome, but you just have to find it in you to believe that it will. It is so hard to change focus, but try, try to keep busy, enjoy the good things in your life, enjoy your partner, do spontaneous things that you won't be able to do once there is a new "boss" in the family. And when all else fails - come here and pour out your sorrows. smile

munchkin fingers x'd for you, it's about time someone gets a BFP on here! smile

berries haha, I had the same reaction when my cycles shortened, only thing is now I worry that my lh phase is too short... good luck with bonk night!

At this end it looks like this is going to be a really shit month for ttc. sad CD 15 now, should ov in the next few days but opk still neg. Might have something to do with me having picked up the mother of all colds, felt so ill yesterday I spent most of the day napping, not much an improvement today, and not good for dtd! Sort of thinking this month is out the window, although I can't help but hope there still is a slim chance.

feelslikealifetime Tue 03-Jul-12 14:58:07

hi all,

just coming on here and pouring my heart out has made me feel soo much better!! thankyou for all of your kind words and support, its good not to be feeling so alone!!

feeling better today, however i'm not sure if that is to do with the mounds of chocolate i have consumed since sunday, sat watching 16 and pregnant (oh dear)-need to go for a run with the dog but the rain is making me wana snooze all afternoon!

munchin-so sorry for the hard times in your family. i'll keep my fingers crossed for you for ur bfp smile

mezza-hope ur cold soon goes away-like you say be positive and believe, dont think a cold will hinder ur chances...

berries-great advice, defo need some me time! enjoy bonk night-could not think of anything worse atm haha-thats so bad isnt it but seriously, i gota work on that as its not as fun as it used to be, its like a flippin millitary operation!-ok now roll over and legs up, dont lose any men...wink

onwards and upwards another whole month of fresh eggs and soldiers!

grin

Munchin Tue 03-Jul-12 21:52:26

Glad your feeling better feels, sometimes it's just good to vent. Chocolate is always a great crutch except on the scales lol!!! Chuckles at legs in the air!!! I was guilty of that on my previous pgs but now lost enthusiasm for it.

Berries yeah for eggy sign. Happy dtd!!!

Mezza hope you get over your cold soon as I'm sure it doesn't help getting in the mood for dtd.

Yes it was and still is an awful nightmare for my sil. It's still hard to believe it happened and no answers as to why just one of those things.

Went round convinced today that I feel more tired than normal and that I have a taste in my mouth. I refuse to poas until at least the weekend. But I know it's my mind playing tricks.

Mezzaluna Wed 04-Jul-12 13:19:14

Keep holding off the poas Munchkin! Be strong says the one who can't leave them alone if they are in the house

Well, snot and fever can't keep me away from dtd...blush but no smiley on the opk today either. Grr. EWCM though, so I'm going for it.

Just wondering - have any of you experienced changes in EWCM after pregnancy? My MCs have previously changed my cycle length, but I'm feeling like I get much less EWCM after the ectopic, wondering why.

iloveberries Wed 04-Jul-12 15:30:07

Hi mez - i get a lot less EWCM than i used to.... no idea why though!

I think i'd missed the fact you'd had an EP as well... did you lose a tube too? (if you don't mind me asking....)

Mezzaluna Wed 04-Jul-12 16:21:32

Hm that is weird berries. I went to an acupuncturist for a while and she said EWCM was a good sign so just keep going on the days you have it, so I'm so bummed there seems to be less.

My EP was really weird, as at the point i realised I had an EP going on, I was sure I wasn't pregnant... That cycle I knew we had conceived as I had all the signs I had from both my MCs. I tested day before AF and day of AF, both neg, and then I had a really weird "AF", quite heavy but wrong colour and watery, lasted 3-4 days. Was really sad and wrote it off as a chemical, then two weeks later I started bleeding again and had terrible pains in my right side - took a test - positive... So it all started going from there, had a scan and they saw "something" in my right tube, was admitted for a lap straight away. The whole thing was such a shock. They removed a large bleeding cyst from my left ovary, but couldn't find the pregnancy so left my right tube alone, they said it had ruptured and bled out. So in a way I'm relieved that both my tubes are intact, but I'm also terrified that the right one might now be damaged and prone to things getting stuck there again... sad Even though I have both tubes, consultant still said chances of pregnancy are now 65% within a year, so same as if a lost tube, no idea why though.
Sorry long story, it's just a bit complicated!

Hope you guys are getting on with the bonkfest, fingers crossed things get stuck in the right place this month!

Munchin Wed 04-Jul-12 20:55:24

Well sorry Mezza I gave in and poas. Of course I got a bfn!!! What else would you expect after only dtd once at possible Ov time and possibly only 10 days dpo. But I had 14 of them sitting burning a hole in a package with july 2012 expiry date on them (I bought them last September but no af showed for 4 mths)

Berries & Mezza I never really noticed very much ewcm ever and I have 2 dc. One thing I did do when I got pg was that I took a spoon of robitussin hour or so before dtd. The guafinesin in it makes all your bodily fluids more runny. Sorry if tmi!!!

Anyhow hope everyone is keeping well.

Discolite Wed 04-Jul-12 21:22:32

Hello, sorry I've been away so long. I have been lurking though! I mostly look at the thread on my ipad and then the thought of laboriously typing my reply puts me off I'm afraid. However, my hard work has paid off and the hot pink spare bedroom is now my beautifully white office! So I'm typing (deep joy) on a proper keyboard. On a desk that feels acres big (ok, 150 x 75cm).

Right, time to catch up...

Moo the old AF turning up is shitty but ovulating on your own has been splendid! How do you take the Clomid? Is it everyday from CD1 or what? I'm curious. Just read this page properly and it seems you have been taking already so I've answered my own question. Any side effects?

Berries so much for me saying I'd realised it might be a long road. I'm 10 dpo and whilst in my head I know that DP's drinking and viral infection probably did for the relevant batch of swimmers, my heart is busily noting all the symptoms, obsessively logging them on FF and then checking the pregnancy monitor to see if the number has gone up or not. I am pretty pathetic. As for EWCM even if you don't get it you can still get pregnant. I did and only ever get the tiniest patch (literally 1 cm sq).

Hi Feels! Did you go running with the dog in the end, or was the rain just too much? I hope you find the support you need on this thread. I'd also look up the NICE guidelines on when you should be offered investigations, making you wait just because of your age seems cruel, esp as you should theoretically be more fertile the younger you are so a 13 month wait would be more unusual.

Mezza I have twice in the last year had ovulation delayed due to a cold/viral infection. The first time it took 17 extra days from my normal day of ovulation to finally get there. The second time it (only) took an extra 10 days. At the time it feels like forever but I reckon you'll just have delayed ov instead of an anovulatory cycle. So sorry to hear the details of your ectopic and I know 65% doesn't seem like brilliant odds but you are still more likely to get pregnant than not in the next year, which can't be too bad, can it?

Muchin sorry about the BFN but as you said, hopefully it is just too early to test. I'm going to try and be good and hold off til Sunday when I'll be 13 dpo (LP is 12-13 days).

Ok, time to do some more sorting out of my brand new office! Hurrah!

Mezzaluna Thu 05-Jul-12 17:22:32

Sorry about the BFN Munchkin! Hopefully it was just too early, it ain't over till it's over smile

disco your new office sounds lovely, congrats! And good luck with the symptom spotting, I'm pathetic like that too, especially when I'm not focusing on ttc... ;)

Helpful to hear about your delayed ov's due to virals. Today was another day of neg opk, just wish I could start functioning again soon. Feeling down in the dumps about ttc today, need to dig up some hope somewhere.

iloveberries Fri 06-Jul-12 16:58:25

disco hello!! I LOVE white! my whole house is white. Not exactly practical with a 2 yr old DS but i use the 'endurance paint' from dulux.

So - BFNs all round eh? It reminds me of the original thread where i 'met' disco and 'moo'. There was NOTHING by way of BFPs so i left the thread convinced it was unlicky (weird i know) and then there was a flurry of BFPs so i think it's our turn now and let's wait for the flurry!!

mezz - sorry to hear your 'odds' are reduced too now - it sucks doesn't it. When our babies are born (which they will be) they will be strong fighters!!!

moo - hows the clomid going? i know nothing about it apart from that it gets people knocked up!

I'm ok -ish. Been told i won't get counselling on NHS as problems aren't severe enough so I am asically stuck droning onto DH about everything, oh, and you guys. My friends have been useless.

Keeping busy though which is good and keeping the focus on TTC to an appropriate level!!

Hope people have fun wkend plans? xxx

Discolite Fri 06-Jul-12 17:54:41

Oh Mezza, delayed ov does your head in. It even affected my sleep (I was temping and desperate to see what the temp was so I'd wake up stupidly early and not get back to sleep so I couldn't temp accurately anyway).

Berries - I am enjoying the white! This room is now white walls with white or red or honey wood coloured furniture. It looks dead futuristic grin

That is super shit about the counselling though. Mental health provision in this country is absolutely dreadful but I bet if you added up the lost productivity vs. the cost of treatment then proper treatment would make economic sense. You've practically got to say 'I am going to kill myself' to get any meaningful help.

I am now 11dpo and haven't a single solitary instance of spotting. This is unheard of for me. I have always had between 2-6 days of spotting prior to now. Fertility Friend pregnancy monitor also has me on 58 points out of 100. When I got pregnant in January, I only had 42 points!

It's all going to end in tears when I test tomorrow. Or will it? Oh god, I'm going mental. Symptoms so far are fatigue (sometimes), slight cramps in the uterine area, sore boobs, I'm bruising easily, bleeding gums, gassy. I do not feel greasy or meh like I generally do before a period. AF is due on Sunday or Monday btw. Like I said, it's all going to end in tears.

How are Muchin and Moo?

Countmyblessings Fri 06-Jul-12 18:54:20

Hi all - i can't believe this thread moves real quickly! we can really chat!
well Moo- i def believe its going to happen for you real soon! and i really will be so happy and excited for you!
Disco - hi hun so glad you are loving your brand new office space!
ilove- lol yes i also kinda step back and cam back to loads of BFP including my own- alas it wasn't to be!
Mezza - oh I'm so sorry that just awful - trust me that was kinda like me in 06 the pain was awful but i never knew i was pregnant and then when the gp suggested i take a test i knew it wasn't good! i think you need to forget the stats and just focus on getting those lovely sperms and cute egg together and let it happen!
Feels- thats the positive spirit needed upwards and onwards!!!!
Disco - our cycle is the same i think well my apps telling me i have 2 days to go but I've had no cramping, no back pain, no tinges nothing and don't feel like its coming maybe my cycle has changed its mind and maybe I'm on a longer cycle!!!!

Moo,Ilove & Disco - my oldies - ( we have really been on this thread journey together for a while) Big Hugs!!!!!

Munchin Fri 06-Jul-12 20:47:55

Sorry Berries that they won't give you counselling but feel free to come on here and vent anytime. You need to have release valve.

Disco well done on the decorating. Oh I have fx for you, hopefully these are pg symptoms and you get a bfp.

Mezza sorry Ov time hasn't happened, I understand your frustration you just want your body to get on with it so you can ttc and have a shot at it.

Moo hope your going ok on clomid.

Count fx for you too. We need some bfp's on this thread.

Well I think I can feel af like symptoms but still no show. I feel achiness in my left side which was the same side I felt it nearly 2 weeks ago when I was getting my + opk's. So I did another pg test again and no surprising that it was bfn!!!! I'm ok with that and I would be just happy to see af and know tha my body was getting back to normal. Also with the hols coming up in 3 weeks I would feel happier not being pg as I really would be afraid of having a mc abroad. So half of me is hoping for a bfn and still at same time would't I be so lucky if I got a bfp.

Well at least it's Friday. What's everyone doing? We are going to see a friend and her dh tomorrow. (My friend has had 3 failed if attempts. Well she got pg on one attempt but mmc at 9 weeks. She did all this and didn't tell me until it was over. So compared to that I am very lucky no matter what happens)

Countmyblessings Fri 06-Jul-12 20:56:56

Munchin- sometimes you never know what people are dealing with until you take the lead and break the " i just lost my baby silence" it so awful to feel so alone and then to feel bad if you do what to talk about it!
Ilove- i know its not the same but I'm also here to listen as much as you want!
I'm off to make some cupcakes my new thing when i feeling low! i don't eat them though, but love to see them being enjoyed!!!!!

Munchin Fri 06-Jul-12 21:01:01

Liking the sound of your cupcakes Count and what willpower you have. Thankfully my cupboards are fairly bare as we haven't done the shopping yet otherwise I think I would be having a splurge.

feelslikealifetime Sat 07-Jul-12 00:14:57

hi all....TFI friday!!

how are you all doing? ive been so busy this week with work, enjoying a friday night in with cocktails.......just what is needed!!

sounds like you have all been busy too, been running twice this week with our dog-helped me have time to my own thoughts about things.

disco-well done on the new office, nice to have you in the chat!
thanks for info about NICE guidelines-i am forwever having trouble with my GP anyway as i am a nurse and i dont think they appreciate that i know stuff-although who doesnt know stuff when they are ttc-we may go private if we dont get a bfp after our holiday, if we cant get bfp with sun, sand and lots of bonking at ov time then......well a few quid wont be missed, i'd rather get it looked into than try to wait more months!

count-cupcakes-well done on the willpower there, i think i'd bake and eat at the same time!!

mezz-are you feeling better yet?? i hope you are hun, good to know you have both tubes intact after your EP-things will look brighter soon

berries, have you tried the 'mind' website or even the samaritans- i know it may sound extreme - also depending on where you work there should be some councelling available to you...

muchin-keep fx for you, dont stress about if it is a bfp and you are going away, there will never be a time in life where all aspects of our lives work as one, whether your going away or troubles with finances occur for eg - keep trying and when its right it will stick-thats what i keep telling myself anyway..

anyone up to any excitement this weekend?? i have to work sunday which is annoying however 6 more shifts and we'll be off on holiday!

fx to all, keep positive smile what will be will be.... x

Discolite Sat 07-Jul-12 15:52:00

Hey, Count and Berries, you know what you were saying about how you thought the previous thread might be unlucky but it turned out not to be?

Well, this thread is lucky - BFP this morning!

Three months and 21 days since my mmc...I can't believe it. I actually said to the test 'What???!!!' like it could answer back! IC was positive, then I confirmed with FRER and the positive showed even before the pee had travelled all the way over.

Have just had a bit of pale brown spotting but hopefully it is a breakthrough bleed or implantation bleeding, not a chemical on the way.

Now to just take each day as it comes...I will be repeating the mantra 'Today I am pregnant' and hoping that lightening doesn't strike twice.

Count hopefully AF will never show for you...fx. How did the cakes turn out?!

Muchin how was your friend? My saturday so far has involved a very, very wet school fayre. It was epically damp.

Feels I hope your doctor pulls his/her finger out soon. For them to fob you off just because you are under thirty is rubbish. Some things in the NHS just shouldn't be age related. On a similar theme, I heard a care home manager say on the radio yesterday that the way the NHS makes elderly people with multiple health issues pay for their own care is very very unfair - she made the point that if it was a young person who needed nursing care they wouldn't have to sell their house etc. Ageism and arbitrary rules are rife in the NHS it seems.

Ok, off I go, pinching myself all the while...

iloveberries Sat 07-Jul-12 17:03:20

smile Whoooo hoooo disco!!!!
Huge congratulations to you. Really pleased for you!
( and bang goes your 60day sperm theory!!) xx

Discolite Sat 07-Jul-12 17:40:08

Thanks Berries, yes, turns out he can have a fever and drink and still get me pregnant! I think he is looking forward to a drink tonight. In fact I'm pretty sure his second thought after 'yeah!!!' was 'boooooze!'

Countmyblessings Sat 07-Jul-12 20:04:11

Huge congrats Disco!!!!!!!
My cakes were a hit everyone loved them!
Welll had no reason but I also POAS cheapy and it's a BFP I am just terrified as its my 2nd cycle and didn't even try!!!!!
Dazed, scared and confused!!!!
It's here in writing " Pregnant" 2-3!!!!!!

Oh my god!!! Huge congrats Disco and Count absolutely amazingly fantastic news smilegrinsmilegrin

Discolite Sat 07-Jul-12 20:47:11

Ha ha ha Count you wait ages for a bfp and then two come along at once! Congratulations Count my BFP twin grin. Your news made me go ' awww' out loud.

Moo thank you my dear....y'know, with your reproductive health improving all on its own AND clomid I am sure you won't be far behind.

I will stay on this thread for a bit until I feel brave enough to join festie, rusulka
and liliana on their preg thread. Is that ok with everyone?

Fingers crossed that everyone else will have some good luck of their own soon x x x x x x x x x

Oh Disco please please stay!!! At least until the end of the month!! Then, hopefully........we can all move together grin

Countmyblessings Sat 07-Jul-12 21:45:02

Disco - bless you! I'm totally totally in shock and now ever so paranoid of every twinge but I know it's expected!!!!!
When I'm feeling stronger I will love to pop back with all of the others in time!
I won't be talking about this pregnancy as I'm just not believing it!
Disco - pls let me know what thread you go to!!!
Eeeekkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!
Not been back to work yet!!!!!!!!'

iloveberries Sat 07-Jul-12 23:03:36

What did I say ladies?? I knew a wave of bfps were about to come along!!! Mine and moo's turn this month too please!!! Count - congrats to you too mate! Great news and extra nice for me to know my fellow ectopic buddy can do it! May you both have an easy eight months and take a lovely baby home in the spring. Xx

iloveberries Sat 07-Jul-12 23:11:21

Ps count-are you a one tubed wonder too? - I am a bit obsessed with people falling pg with one tube, I like to know it happens in real life -

Munchin Sat 07-Jul-12 23:29:44

OMG!!!!!!! Two Bfps's!!!!! Wowzers. Ah disco and count absolutely trilled for yous both. Huge congrats. Wishing you H&h for the next eight months. Please don't feel you have to leave here. We would all like to share your journeys if yous woukd like to share.

Ok girls they have put it up to us now to join them!!!!

I had a lovely day with my friend. Btw I poas on an opk this morning and got a positive. Wtf??? I got that two weeks ago and no AF. I really am on a wtf cycle. But after being with my friend it reaffirmed how lucky I am. Think I will just chill and see what happens over next few weeks and throw those sticks out!!!

But congrats again. So happy for yous.

Countmyblessings Sun 08-Jul-12 00:18:15

Ilove - I believe it's so going to work out for you soon! Me yes I have just 1 tube, but 1 is all u need! I just can't believe it still!
Not going anywhere for now but I am not goin to be posting much
Until I know it's all happening!
Munchin - it's like a bus u wait and 2 and more come at once! I have all crossed that we can all be on this beautiful journey together!

festiemum Sun 08-Jul-12 00:20:51

Sorry to interrupt ladies; just popped over for my regular stalk to find that not one, but two of our lovelies have got BFPs!!!!!!!!!! grin grin grin

That is such wonderful news, and being an old softy and potentially quite hormonal; I actually shed a tear!!

Be lovely to see you with the other grads in time when you're feeling like it's really happening disco and count!

<waves to moo, berries and all you other lovely ladies!> xxx

Discolite Sun 08-Jul-12 14:08:11

Hi Moo I will stay for a good while that is for sure! Especially as I've decided that early reassurance scans aren't for me (in that the two I had before the final scan last time didn't reassure me at all and just made me more confused) so will basically find out if all is well in 6 to 8 weeks time if I get that far.

Count have you come down from that cloud yet?! And Berries it just goes to show you can do it with just one tube so be hopeful smile

Muchin thanks! Maybe you were gearing up to ovulate two weeks ago but didn't for some reason, and now your ovaries are having a second attempt? It would make sense with the 14 day thing.

Festie thanks! And it's nice to see you back here.

DP and me stayed in bed for ages this morning for ages talking about names. We know the risks of it all going wrong again but for the time being I'm pregnant so we're going to enjoy it. I tried to be all logical last time and it didn't stop me from falling apart so sod it!

The line on this morning's internet cheapie was stronger. My temps are still up and the spotting really is just the faintest um, buff colour, only a shade different from normal so hoping it won't turn into a chemical.

Countmyblessings Sun 08-Jul-12 18:46:28

Thanks Festie and the rest of you!
Trying to remain calm and not think about the slight mild cramping that I know is normal but still terrifying! I have to have a scan just to confirm baby is in the right place!!! Fingers crossed!!!!
Disco - when is your due date, not worked mines out as cant remember when my last AF was need to look it up!
Today I'm still shock but do scared to be happy!!!! Mixed emotions!

iloveberries Sun 08-Jul-12 19:32:21

i imagine you will have mixed emotions count. I think after an ectopic you almost lose the excitement that comes with a BFP as the first thing you think is "but is it in the right place". You'll do well to get an early scan though and i'm sure that will confirm baby is in the right place.

BFPs are never quite the same once you've lost a baby are they.

I'd still give my right arm for one though! (I actually would give my right arm....)

Discolite Sun 08-Jul-12 23:14:59

But Berries, when you have your second little one they will fight over getting to hold your hand! Don't go giving away limbs just yet smile

EDD is 18th of March, Count. I can understand why you are scared, the innocence goes when you've lost a baby. Just remember that the odds of it going right are better than it going wrong.

Irishmammybread Sun 08-Jul-12 23:36:59

Is it ok if a geriatric ttc-er joins in on this thread?
Congratulations to count and disco!
Count, I feel like I kind of know you from the other threads, it's lovely news, I hope and pray it all goes well for you . x

Countmyblessings Mon 09-Jul-12 00:56:17

Disco - I roughly calculated and it puts me 14/3/13
Yes my odds didn't help me last time! My clearblue puts me at 2-3
Weeks! Ohhhhhhh I have everything crossed for us that all will be well!
Hi Irish - glad to see you here, we are a lovely bunch!
Ilove - I have a feeling it will be you real soon!!

iloveberries Mon 09-Jul-12 07:57:54

disco your comment made me smile!!! Thanks!
The wave of bfps has started now! Anyone else testing soon? X

Mezzaluna Mon 09-Jul-12 14:23:38

Yay 2 BFPs!!!! Congrats Disco and Count, this really put a smile on my face today! And fx for berries and moo!
Welcome irish - come try with me - it feels like I'll be sticking around for a while ;)

Still can't figure out if I have ov'd this cycle. Had day 21 test taken today, so I guess that will tell me. Hospital appointment is Thursday, can't stop thinking about it.

I think I was silently hoping and praying that I'd be pregnant again by then, and everything would be fine and my whole shitty ttc history up until now would just be bad luck and over with. Anyway I suppose investigations are much better than rolling along not knowing.

Hope everyone had a good weekend, so excited to finally see some BFPs on here, remember - today I am pregnant! Having lost a baby makes it harder, but we've got to believe.

Munchin Mon 09-Jul-12 16:40:56

Hi ladies , it's great the positivity flowing here with count and disco happy news. Lovely march babies. Hope yous are keeping well and as the others have said today you are pregnant.

Welcome irishmammy. I think we may have chatted before on another thread.

Mezza I will be around here for a while I'd say. Good luck with hospital appointment. At least your doing something and finding out info that will hopefully help.

Hello moo and berries.

I'm still having achy pains and still no AF. Defo not pg. I think you may be right disco my body must be trying to ovulate again. It doesn't fill me with confidence that I have many eggs left.

Lilliana Mon 09-Jul-12 17:47:56

Crashing in to say Hi and a HUGE congratulations to Count and Disco, I'm so thrilled for you both grin grin grin You know where we are when you want to pop over and join us.

Still have everything crossed for Moo Berries and all you other lovely ladies. Hope you're all ok, missing catching up with you regularly.

<Runs away again>

Discolite Mon 09-Jul-12 20:06:03

Hi Irish nice to see another new face on this thread!

Count aha, four days before mine! I do get you mean about the odds, didn't help me either last time but it's got to go our way eventually and it may just be our time this time? Fingers crossed it will be ok for both of us. When do you get your scan?

Mezza knowing is better than not knowing. It could be something that is eminently treatable. You must be scared though. I bet thursday still seems a long way away...good luck for the appointment and make sure you come back and tell us all about it.

Muchin you only need one egg. Why do you think you don't have many left? Age?

I had to tell the dentist I was pregnant at my check-up as he wanted to x-ray me. It felt weird saying it. I did get my check-up for free though having admitted the fact! Touch wood, no spotting today, darker line...AF will be late tomorrow. I'm so paranoid I'm even taking extra sanitary protection to work sad hope I don't have to use it.

Thanks Lil!

Countmyblessings Mon 09-Jul-12 23:43:23

Hi all - had bloods taken today and will have to return 48 hours to see if it's inline with my pregnancy I'm a nervous wreck they didn't scan as they said they wouldn't see anything?????
Horrible feeling every niggle pain and I'm in a panic!!!!
How u doing disco?
Hi Lil - hope your good! I will love to pop over as soon as I'm in the clear!!
Mezza- I have everything crossed it will work out and no tests needed!
Munchin - only 1 and at that right time is all that's needed!!

iloveberries Tue 10-Jul-12 06:55:57

Hi count - they can't see anything even with an internal scan till 6 weeks (i think) so it's good you've had bloods done.

totally understand your concern though i'm sure it will be fine mate.

Count I echo what *berries said. At this early stage there won't be anything to see as I think the yolk sacs only become visible at 5-6 weeks! Understandable that you are anxious though, nothing I can say will alleviate that but just know that we are here for you and have everything crossed that the all will be ok!

Berries where are you up to in your cycle now? You'll be next wink

Disco how are you feeling? Have you been to the docs yet? Good that the lines are getting darker and that the spotting has stopped smile

welcome aboard the good ship BFP mammy hope your voyage is a short one!

Hello to Mezza Munchin and Feelslike hope you are all ok.

Eeeeeeek <waves frantically at festie and Lil> miss you guys! Hope you are progressing well!!!

Not much to report here, waiting hoping to ovulate. Dtd as much as possible!! Hope it's not wasted though. This bloody Clomid better work!!!! Can't take much more of this if I'm honest.

Have a good day everyone!

Countmyblessings Tue 10-Jul-12 07:36:04

Thanks ilove and MooWoo- I know they couldn't see anything it's just I've been told as soon as I fall pregnant which I have so now I have the nervous wait to check blood!!! I can't sleep!!!!!!
MooWoo- exciting stuff as clomid can make everything super and you could end up with twins or triplets!!!!!! Ekkkkkk
Have all crossed for you!!!

Mezzaluna Tue 10-Jul-12 15:12:59

count and disco hope you are both feeling ok and keeping the beans stuck in there, and thanks for the good luck wishes.

moo good luck with dtd! Hope the clomid is working - are you having side effects?

berries hope the symptom spotting and waiting isn't driving you crazy, fx!

Munchkin I hope you are feeling ok and ov'ing and dtd on top of it!
Also wondering why you feel you don't have many eggs left? age?

I feel like I'm going nuts this week. I can't do anything but think about ttc. pretty sure this cycle is blown, feels like AF is around the corner with mild cramping and face looking like a teenager... sad
This cycle has been mad with tension probably because first try since ectopic and also that appointment looming over me. Feels like the longest week ever, and I'm so down in the dumps I don't quite know how I'm going to get myself out if it, I just know I have to. Can't go on driving myself crazy like this, must find ways to change focus next cycle.

Munchin Tue 10-Jul-12 17:05:43

Count it's good they are checking bloods and nothing to be seen on a scan yet. I'm sure it's so nerve wrecking for you. It's awful the way you can't relax and enjoy bring pg, that's what having a mc or ep does to you. fx next bloods show hormones multiplying nicely.

Disco good to see the lines are getting darker.

Moo your doing all you can now on clomid and dtd a plenty. Hope this cycle is your lucky one.

Mezza sorry your feeling down and apprehensive about appointment. Once it's out of way you'll know more. This ttc can become all consuming. I didn't think I was obsessing but last night I dreamt I had another mc. So obviously I am. We need to find another project to take our minds off it. I may go back to my painting.

How are you berries, Irish, feels like.

Thanks ladies for your words of encouragement. I am concerned I have left it too late as I have turned 40 and worry about quality and quantity of my eggs and whether menopause is looming. My mum reckons she started in her late 30's. Two of my close friends who are also 40 have both been through fertility tests and have both been told their ovarian reserve is low. So hence my panic. Also I am off my meds for epilepsy while ttc and conscious of the length of time I have been off them. I really think I'm going to give it til Xmas and face the decision of calling it a day.

feelslikealifetime Tue 10-Jul-12 17:48:40

soo glad there has been such great new on here!! yaaaaay!!
well done ladies!

iloveberries Tue 10-Jul-12 19:45:15

hi everyone, moo - i think i am on CD 22 so just not thinking about it. I don't think it has happened this month.

Hard day for me today - just found out a close friend is pregnant with DC3 (all her DCs conceived month 1 of TTC). The thing that gets my goat is she and her husband have been having awful problems and she told me she may leave him but wants a 3rd DC so will try and have one with him first as she wants all her DCs to have the same dad. Anyway - I was pretty upset as it's ANOTHER person who can conceive easily, but then i realised, I REALLY don't want her life.

Anyway - just feeling a bit down in the dumps about it. I'm practically a recluse and went out today to try and cheer myself up and every single toddler mum had a baby or a bump - it's like they're all flaunting it in my face. I know they're not but it is so very hard. I just feel like such a failure and like i've really let DH and DS down sad sad

Munchin Tue 10-Jul-12 21:21:34

Berries firstly you are not a failure!!! Finding it hard to conceive is no ones fault. I'm sure you are a great mum and wife. It's just taking a bit of time. I can totally appreciate how you felt hearing about your friends news and it prob gave you that awful sinking feeling to the pit of your stomach. Unfortunately some people are super fertile. But she sounds like she has lots of her own issues with an unhappy relationship and having another baby is certainly going to compound the problem. So chin up you have to believe your time will come.

iloveberries Tue 10-Jul-12 21:34:25

thanks munch - and sorry to bring the thread down after the fab recent news of lovely disco and count

Munchin Tue 10-Jul-12 21:43:43

Berries your not bringing the thread down at all. This is what we are all here for to support each other through the low points. You need somewhere to come and release your feelings. And I have certainly found comfort from you all also. It's always hard hearing about a new pregnancy and I will never forget the pain I felt seeing pg ladies and new borns in the early days after I mc.

Discolite Wed 11-Jul-12 06:35:51

Berries I know that you really wanted a certain age gap between your children but I think you mentioned a while ago that one unforeseen benefit to having a longer age gap was that you were able to give your son much more attention than the mothers you saw who were basically ignoring their toddlers. When you have your second, your son will be a little bit older and perhaps it won't be so stressful for him to have to give up some attention as he'll have a better understanding of the situation? Having said all that though, I know you just want a baby.

You've had a pretty traumatic and unlucky time of it TTC and I know it is easy to lose hope but you will get there, I know you will. It may have even happened this month, you never know....fingers crossed it happens for you soon.

<sits self down on chair>
<rolls up sleeves>

Berries please please please don't feel like you are bringing this thread down, far from it. This is why we are all here; to share the highs, the lows, the good and the bad. No-one in RL would understand the trials and tribulations of what we have all gone through and the continuous battle that we are facing. And never think that you are a failure!!! TTC is not a simple case of bonking for a bit and then....ta da..........a baby is made. There are so many factors invovled, and those people that fall so easily have no understanding or sensitivity about what other people are having to go through.

It's even worse when the undeserving seem to get what we covet so much. I have just been through something a little similar (ok, not similar at all, but it's the best i can do!). My parents are currently visiting DB and SiL; SiL is 7 months pg (never thought they would have another to be honest). DM and SiL do not really see eye to eye, in fact DM was dreading going because of her, but she wanted to see my nephew and her son. Anyway, long story short, they land, get back to DB's house and call me briefly. And what does she say??? That SiL is looking lovely and she should stay that way forever. Aaaaaaargh. How can you be so 2 faced about something that I crave to have. Ok, they don't know we are TTC, but not the point.

Ok, that was nothing like your situation, but people are insensitive all over the place, close family, friends, strangers.

It's so easy to feel down and almost become introverted, but we have such wonderful support here that on those bad days, we come here and we unleash all those bad feelings and sometimes, we feel better for it.

I know how hard it is to want something that bad; I feel like I have been TTC forever and somedays I think it will never happen. I even console myself by telling myself maybe I am just not meant to be a mother. Maybe this is a sign. But, although I lost 2 potential beans, I take comfort in knowing that I can get pregnant and I will get pregnant again. And so will you. I know we will both be on ante-natal threads very soon.

You have been through so much but you are an amazingly strong and brave person. You have been here for me so often, when I have been feeling low, when I have thought I am being uneccessarily upset, but you all rally round and I realise that in time I will be posting about my amazing BFP!!! And so will you.

Please rant away whenever you want to. We are here to listen and offer support.

Whoa! Sorry for the epic post. Best do some work.

smile

Mezzaluna Wed 11-Jul-12 18:29:05

Short on time but didn't want to read and run - sorry you are having such a tough time berries, go ahead moan all you like! And moo - what a speech! Brightened my mood at least! smile

Hope you are all doing ok xx

iloveberries Fri 13-Jul-12 07:13:53

aaah moo - thanks for the 'lecture' - very kind of you!

I think friend with marital issues getting pregnant has really hit me. Talk about not putting your kids first.....

Anyway - I went out with my pre-kids friends and got totally pissed on wednesday which was great fun. Completely against the TTC rules but fuck it - i had fun and if i am in it for the loooooong hall then i don't want to give up my whole life's vices!!

Thanks for your comments disco - TBH I have abandoned the obsession with age gaps - i'd just like another baby... but i'd like him (or her) sooner rather than later! just so i don't have all the wondering of "will it happen?"

AF due next weds so not too long to wait. No symptoms at all here. 2 nights in a row of crazy crazy dreams and things have been a teeny bit wetter down then (TMI - sorry!) since ov but TBH last month I had such strong preggo symptoms and it turned out to be nothing so I am not getting my hopes up. I do think it will happen someday but i don't think this has been our month.

I have been avoiding playgroups of late as every todd mum has a bump or baby and i find it so upsetting - the consequence of this of course is that i have been really lonely. So today I am going to man up and go to a playgroup. We moved house about 6 weeks ago 300 miles away from where we were before so i do need to make some new friends!

How is everyone else? count - have you had your appt yet?

munchkin thanks for your post - how are you doing today?
mezz - how was hospital appointment?
Irish - how are you doing? Tell us more about you?
disco - how are you doing my love - i think about you every day (in a non psycho stalker way!) and hope it's all going well for you.
moo - where in your cycle are you? I want a BFP for you this month!!! GOOOO CLOMID!!!!!!!!!!

Discolite Fri 13-Jul-12 11:16:27

Hi Berries glad you are feeling a bit more yourself now. I know how you feel about someone with marital problems choosing to have another - at my work a colleague announced his wife's fourth pregnancy (she must have only been about 5 weeks btw - obviously they'd never had anything bad happen to them or he'd have been a lot more cautious) and it was an accident! Argh. I felt properly grumpy then.

The night out sounds great! And I don't think one night on the booze will hinder your chances too much - the stress relief probably cancels out the booze factor anyway smile

I think being brave and going out and meeting people (even if they do have a bump or baby) will really help you. I always feel worse if I avoid being sociable. I don't feel very sociable most of the time but always enjoy myself when I do make the effort.

I'm doing ok at the moment. DP is away, haven't seen much of him this week and he's off again next week so I'm feeling a bit lonely but it's not too bad. I've had no spotting (phew) but the nausea has slightly kicked in already (4+4 today). My tummy which I worked so hard to get flatter has now gone totally pot bellied but I still weigh the same. Dunno if it's gas or fluids or something. My boobs are nowhere near as painful as last time, they do hurt but only a bit. The lines on the tests are still getting darker so I'm hopeful it won't turn into a chemical pregnancy. I'm still fearful of miscarriage but something about this pregnancy feels different to last time, hopefully my intuition is correct! I'm just enjoying it and trying not to think about problems. I'll deal with them if and when they crop up. Full on morning sickness should hit just as the summer holidays start, not sure if that's good timing or not!

Hopefully you'll all be feeling sick like me soon (and not just from the booze Berries!)

Any results from the blood tests Count?

How are you Moo, Muchin and Mezza? (alliterative!)

Munchin Fri 13-Jul-12 17:05:33

Hi all tg it's friday!!! And 13th!!!

Glad your feeling better Berries and your night out sounds like just what the doctor ordered. You have to live life even when you ate ttc. Look at all people who get pg accidentally on drunken nights!!

Loved your epic post Moo. Great to know there is such grear support. Hope all is well with you.

Disco sounds like things are progressing as they should. Take opportunity to pamper yourself when dp is away.

Count did you get any more blood results? Hope all is as it should be.

How are you Mezza? And also hello to everyone else.

I'm going on ok. Getting geared up for my holiday in two weeks time. I've decided not to stress about ttc or lack of AF until after the hols and just dtd for fun. (what's that??)

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

iloveberries Fri 13-Jul-12 18:40:18

DTD for fun sounds grand! to be fair this month we only bonked 3 times in the fertile week and i really enjoyed it!

So here are a list of my Symptoms in the past month which turned out to not be preggo symptoms:
1. Sore boobs
2. Big boobs
3. Achy boobs
4. Peeing more
5. fatigue
6. overemotionalness (not a word i know)

This month I am soooooo thirsty for water (last 2 days) and am having crazy crazy dreams (last 2 nights). I know both can be early preggo symptoms and they're ones i haven't had before BUT i am not symptom spotting, honest. ;) next month i will probably be adding them to the symptoms of AF..... secretly hopes for another crazy dream tonight and a no-show from AF on weds!

Countmyblessings Sat 14-Jul-12 10:26:13

Hi all - big wave and thanks for your constant support! My results are good and mw is happy that all signs are looking good! I've passed 5 weeks and having my scan next week! Nervous but would rather find out sooner rather then later!
Berrie- it sounds great that you went out and let your hair down, try not to think about your lack of pregnancy symptoms not always present until you poas!!!! I never had any and poas as a fluke! I was packing all my bits away and just thought no loss it's a cheapy! Poas and left it, returned 10 mins later and thought its a evap line! But thought lets rule it out and decided to open up a CBD but had to leave it as had visitors so 30 mins later I looked and saw " pregnant 2-3" shocked was not the word!panic!
Moowoo- I have everything crossed that your news will be soon!
Disco- loving your relaxed approach I wish I could be like that! But with strict rules from doctor saying as soon as I get pregnant I need to go back!!
Munchin- whoop your getting ready for your hols glad your relaxing about TTC!
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Mezzaluna Sat 14-Jul-12 11:35:04

So, I'm joining Symptom Spotters Anonymous. hmm

I have a confession to make, it's only CD 26, and I crumbled and poas'ed. My progresterone test came back normal, which means I have ov'd just don't know when. Such an idiot, BFN of course, even the times I have been preg it I don't get a pos until after AF due. Have had a lot of 26 day cycles in the past 6 months, longest 30, so no poas-ing again until wed at the earliest, but pretty sure AF will have shown up by then. ha, I say that and still hope hope hope it doesn't. I'm setting myself up for a major crash here

Symptoms so far:
- waking up extremely early completely famished, need to eat asap or feel sick. Had the same the other +es
- nausea, particularly after a meal
- tired
- heavy sore boobs
- constantly needing a wee, but hardly any when I go (ha, sounds like cystitis doesn't it...)

against:
- af-type cramping
- the other times I have gotten a heart rate spike about a week before AF due, none this week. I always work out w/ a HR monitor, this spike has always been a sure sign of +

Appt in the hospital this week was ok - no new info, and still the whole spiel of "at least you are getting pregnant, this is good, it might just be bad luck". Managed to go through the whole history so far with no tears - that is definite progress. Had several smear tests taken, lots more blood, DH blood for cromosomal tests, and then I have a scan booked and have to come back for more bloods CD3-4. So many tests shock at least they are thorough. Not going back until sept, when I will see the consultant and go through all the test results. still hoping I won't need to

count glad to hear you are doing well, hope you are coping ok even though you are nervous, that's only to be expected after what you have been through. fx all is ok and the scan will reassure you.
berries hope you are feeling more positive and having a good weekend, I'm really really hoping your lack of symptoms is a good sign smile
munchkin such a good decision, have a lovely holiday and dtd lots and lots for fun!
disco glad to hear lines are getting darker, I also believe in intuition, hoping all is well and stays that way! fx
moo hope you are having a lovely weekend!

berries and mezza oh crikey I really really hope that this is your month!! smile remember every pg is different so something that happened last time might not occur this time!!

Berries oh no please don't think I was lecturing I just wanted you to know we are here for you!!

Count and Disco how is everything progressing? When do you go for first scans etc?

In IOM for a wedding today. Already on the ale