synchronising pregnancies

[foreverastudent]

I have a broody friend who wants to get pregnant in the next year or so. We have DSs who are 6 months apart which is great for us to all do stuff together.

Thing is she has said it would be great if I got pregnant at the same time as her. I might consider maybe having another late 2011/early 2012 but change my mind every 2 minutes. Plus even although she is sure she is very fertile it took me 8 months of trying everything to get pg last time so I know pg isn't somthing you can time/have total control over.

Anyway, what do people think of synchronising pregnancies? Has anyone actually tried it? If so, how did things turn out?

[KaraThrace]

I have tried, friend's baby is 4 months old I am still not pregnant, so hasn't gone well for me!

Second friend I tried to sync with is now 8 weeks pregnant, our girls are a year apart, mine being the eldest. I am still hoping I will get pregnant soon so our little ones (if I ever have another) will be close in age.

[DastardlyandSmugly]

Me and a friend tried with our second babies - our DSs were born a day apart and we met at NCT. My DD is 2 on 20th August, her DD is due 1st September.

[emptyshell]

I think it's pathetic - but no doubt if you're the sort who's considering doing it, you'll get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

It's also incredibly insensitive to the long-termers on here who'd give anything to have a baby any time, and you're wanting to wear a bump like a matching fashion accessory.

Why are you trying to get pregnant because your FRIEND says so? Doesn't your partner have a say in the matter at all?

[smallorange]

don't put yourself under pressure, it's ridiculous, and guaranteed to make one of you feel like shit. Especially if one doesn't manage to conceive gor years ( which isn't uncommon)

[Zidonie]

I tried - and failed - with one of my friends. She got pg at the first go and I'm still not, 8 months later. We're still good friends but it put us both a bit un-at-ease. Sometimes I feel that she's embarassed to tell me about her pregnancy details because she feels sorry I can't seem to get pregnant that easily.

My advice is to keep TTC very private: just you, your DP and Mumsnet. It takes a lot of pressure off.

[loopeylu]

Calm down Emptyshell - sure forevastudent doesn't mean to be insensitive.

Forever - i'd approach with caution. Can end in tears if one of you gets pregnant sooner than the other and just heaps on the stress when TTC is already stressful enough.

[AbiAbi]

forever - I'm not going to have a go at you, but I do agree it's a really bad idea. Prenancy can be so stressful, without having someone to compare it to! What if you gain more weight than her? Or get mega SPD while she has an easy pregnancy? Or what if one of you (god forbid) miscarried? I just see too many obstacles to make it a good idea, sorry. Good luck TTC though

[Lotkinsgonecurly]

A friend and I were pg at the same time me with dd. However unfortunately she had a late mc, now she finds it so difficult to be around dd it has affected our friendship quite drastically.

( We didn't try to get pg at the same time. Was miracle with us me and DH as were on clomid.

[DuelingFanjo]

As a one time long term TTC I don't think it's insensitive to other people here but I think it's unrealistic. You would have to be be very lucky indeed to plan pregnancies in such a way.

All sorts of things can and do happen even when you do manage to get pregnant.

I get from your post that you're not that into the idea?

[goodlifemummy]

A friend and I find ourselves both due on Christmas Day this year, we are 11 weeks today. So far so good, but if anything happened to the other one, I am sure it would be incredibly difficult to deal with. We didn't aim to get pg at the same time, in fact mine was completely unplanned and I had no idea she was trying, so just a very, very happy coincidence!