when should i try for my 2nd?

[doireallywant3]

hi, i have an8 month old daughter who has mostly been an angel. recenty she has been teething and had a cold and a few weeks of sleepless nights has left me wondering if i'd really be able to cope with 2 or 3 (i think i'd like 3). my question to you is should i try and get pregnant with no. 2 (assuming it would be as easy to get preg as it was with DD1) this summer or should i wait another year? DD1 was born end aug last year, i'm going back to work at end june this year (fairly ok job, lots of WFH but potentially v busy, and i have a nice local nursery sorted). one the one hand, i'd like to churn out 3 fairly close together, but on the other hand, maybe i should wait until DD1 is a little older. is it easier to have 3 small kids or easier to space them out more? I loved being pregnant, but to put it in perspective, i am now 34, DH and 1 are both one of 3 kids and love it (I am oldest of 3 girls, 2 years between each, DH is middle of 2 boys, one girl less than 2 yrs betweem each). DH has a big important job so I would hope to give up work after no. 2 or 3. really keen to gauge opinion as i think there are pro's and con's to cracking on with it and to waiting. thanks in advance xx

[8rubberduckies]

I have 1 ds who is 21 months, and am ttc number 2 at the moment. We are having all sorts of problems due to me being diagnosed with PCOS and I am currently on medication to help regulate my cycle.

It was only this time last year I was thinking the same as you and decided to wait for a few months before TTC again. I was tired, just returned to work and enjoying having my body back to myself having just stopped bf. I always wanted to have my children quite close together and as we got pg without trying first time around we thought it would happen again just as easily. We are now facing up to a long-haul fight with my misbehaving ovaries! [brave face emoticon]

IMO if you definitely want more children you should start thinking about it now, you never know what might be around the corner. I'm about the same age as you so don't take this the wrong way, but if you want 3 and end up having them spaced far apart, not only is it going to get more difficult to conceive over the next few years, but do you really want to have your last in, say, 8-10 year's time and have children still at home when you are approaching retirement?

Even if you conceived tomorrow, there'd be an 18 month age gap, which I don't reckon would be so unmanageable? (Please correct me if I'm wrong, more experienced Mums reading this )

[doireallywant3]

thanks so much for your post 8rubberduckies, i think i know in my heart that you are right. i did always plan to do them close together due to, well wanting to, and also my age (and DH is 3 yrs older than me). i think just recently i've been realising how hard it can be and worrying how hard it may be with 2 or 3. basically, i agree with you and may return to original plan of getting jiggy at the right times of month from about june/july and wait and see what happens! thanks so much for replying, really appreciate that. really sorry to hear you are having a difficul time though, and i really hope things work out without too much heartache for you. x

[8rubberduckies]

I sometimes look at my miniature whirlwind and wonder if I can cope with two or three, so know how you feel! I was an only child, and although it wasn't all that bad, I've always imagined having a large family running around looking after me in my dotage

Thanks for your message of support, I do appreciate it! And good luck with ttc when you decide it's the right time!

[doireallywant3]

thanks 8rdds, might pounce on dh tonight to get things going (shocked face), only joking, have missed my fertile days for this month! good luck with your efforts too, hope it's not too emotionally stressful x

[Cherrybaby]

I think you should go for it!!

I have a 13 month old DD and we're trying to conceive ...AF hasnt arrived yet so keeping my fingers crossed....

I went through the same thinking stage and finally decided that I did want my kids close together so that I can have that time at home with them without working, and then once they (2 or 3), are in nursery, I can get back to my career with all the pregnancy and nappy/bottles sleepless nights stuff out of the way and by which time I will only be 28-30 years old! (depending on whether I have 2 or 3!)

and good luck rubberduckies, hope all goes well for you x

[SillyTillyBilly]

It's a personal decision but as someone who has been TTC number 2 for two years now I would say go for it. I see the gap widening between mine (assuming I am lucky enough to have another at some point) and see how different their interests will be. I guess if I could have plucked a baby out of the air I would have said 21 months gap was perfect.

[Mimi1977]

It's a hard decision but if you think it'll be easier to wait because now you have probs with teething etc, well there will always be something. I have a 20 month old who will be just over 2 when my second baby is born. Then I'll have potty training to deal with and trying to get her in her own bed (if I don't do it before). My mum told me having a second is always going to be hard work, whenever you have them. She had me when my brother just started school and she said it was hard work to cope with a newborn and get my brother out of the door and walked to school in time. If you want to start trying now do it. At least you'll have the hard bits over together! I conceived first month with my DD and it took three this time - I was already starting to panic slightly and each month the age gap was growing. It may take you a bit longer to conceive or you may do it first month. You have to feel ready but it sounds like you probably are if you are thinking about it and asking for advice! Good luck

[Mamalade]

I have 3 DC's.21 mths between eldest 2,27mths between 2 and 3.They are fantastic buddies(when they're not killing each other!)
I feel very lucky as we always said we wanted 3 and now I am over my baby days and thrilled with self!Enjoy.

[doireallywant3]

thanks lovely ladies.... i think you are right, i'm going to go for it!