Do I hand my notice in or am I insane! NARGH- urgent help with decision needed!

[Thandeka]

I have a job which I mainly enjoy (but recently has really ground me down) but only 20% is what I love. I have an opportunity to go freelance and do 100% what I love. I was pregnant and would have been leaving my job anyway with intention of freelancing while kids are small. Unfortunately I miscarried. I am hoping to get pregnant again within the year but if I get pregnant while freelance I only get MA and not Maternity benefits of my salary. That said (MA and SMP are the same and I think I would only claim that as I wouldn't go back to work anyway) Just very worried though as if I quit and then have a terrible pregnancy with lots of sickness then I will have no income (although I do have a house deposit in savings we could dip into).

My period is due 3 days before the final notice deadline (and there have been some positive signs I may have caught again) although they would like me to hand my notice in earlier so they can plan for next year. Even if I am pregnant again I am not sure I would stay and anyway sods law would dictate that I won't get pregnant until after I have handed in my notice.

Nargh am all a befuddle on this one but 95% decided I want to leave.

[TrillianAstra]

I'm confused about the 'final notice deadline'. So if you don't hand in your notice this week you have to stay for a set period of time?

[Thandeka]

I work in a school. To leave in Sept I have to hand my notice in by 31st.

Otherwise I can't leave til the next half term which really puts the school in the shite as I have a difficult role to recruit for and June/july is best recruitment time.

[TrillianAstra]

So no-one can leave mid-term? What if you were pregnant, you'd have to go off on maternity leave at whatever point biology determined.

To be honest the best thing for you would be to wait until you are certain that you want to leave, then hand your notice in and work until half-term or the end of term as appropriate. It might not be the best thing for the school, but it would be the best thing for you.

[Thandeka]

I guess just worried about references if I do that. I don't want to mess anybody about and actually since the MMC I have hated being here and really feel the need for a new start.

[smallchange]

Do the best thing for you.

Worst that can happen to the school? It's a pain to replace you.

Worst that can happen to you? You have to spend your hard earned savings.

So it could actually cost you money to leave your job at a time that may be more convenient to the school.

It sounds like you have to think about it a bit more, but sometimes even teachers have to put their own and their families' needs first!

[TrillianAstra]

They can't give you a bad reference for leaving t an inconvenient time, if you're good at your job you wll get a good reference.

If you want to leave, the leave, go freelance, it coud be great, but please don't leave just because you think you might be pregnant. You might be, but you might not, and it would be horrible to leave and then find out that you're not pregnant and regret having left.

[Thandeka]

Basically I have been toying with this idea for a while. Then I got pregnant so I was going to leave in November anyway. Then I got a contract for 2 days a week consultancy for the next year (plus have lots of other bits and bobs to keep me going) and I was wondering how it was all going to fit in (am 3 days a week at school, 2 days freelance already). Then I had the MMC and grief just made me want to leave and I just wanted a new start. But now I am having symptoms I may possibly be pregnant again (am halfway through 2ww) I am having major wobbles about it again as think I would be crackers to go if I was pregnant.

3 people have asked about my decision today so I feel really pressured even though I don't have to until the 31st and part of me is thinking sod it I should just take the jump as being 95% sure is a fairly good odds!

Nargh!

[Thandeka]

No I would stay if I was pregnant- only reason being mat benefits! But then that is a dumb reason to stay in a job!

[Thandeka]

I am great at my job (if I say so myself) my school love me. My new freelance role is a promotion of sorts too so in CPD terms it is better to go too.

[TrillianAstra]

(don't know what 2ww is)

Right, calm down, and tell me two things.

In an ideal world where you could see into the future and know if you are pregnant and if it's going to stick, what would you want to do:

1 - if you are pregnant?

and

2 - if you're not currently pregnant?

Actually there's a third. What if you're not pregnant this month but you do get pregnant next month (assuming you are going to continue to TTC)?

[Thandeka]

1- Leave stressful job, Relax and let bean grown and do odd bits of consultancy. (Being pregnant in a secondary school is terrifying- kids have elbows!)

2- Leave stressful job and start new exciting job.

3- Leave stressful job and start new exciting job and be excited when I do get pregnant that if I want a day off I can pretty much just take it (okay so I dont get paid and if I have appointments it will be bad but heck).

Oooh that helps. My gut and majority of my brain is saying do it! Its just the little rational panicky voice.

[TrillianAstra]

I think we have an answer.

[Thandeka]

oh 2ww is 2 week wait. The wait after ovulation but before period is due.

Just had chat with Husband. He wants me to hand notice in today. So looks like am drafting the letter now.
Gulp!

[TrillianAstra]

Good luck!

[Thandeka]

Just handed in the letter! I am unemployed from Sept! Yippeee!

[EffieGadsby]

Congratulations on your liberation!

Just make sure you register as self-employed ASAP after your contract ends, as to qualify for full Maternity Allowance, you'll need to have paid Class 2 NIs for at least 13 weeks in the run up to birth of future baby.

[Thandeka]

Cheers for the tip! I was trying to find that out online but getting lost in .gov.uk sites. I am registered Self employed already but held an exemption certificate for this year- but they are sending me my forms out for my class 2's so will get them paid asap.

Yippeee I am sooooooo excited now! Was so the right decision- I just needed the kick to actually do it.

[TrillianAstra]

Congratulations

[Daynee]

Thandeka - Congratulations on your newfound freedom - I'm totally jealous. I believe we spoke on another thread about us both being teachers! In addition to teaching and being stressed but of course loving my kids - I was also going to graduate school. NOW I'm done with grad school - YIPPEEEE, and in another 2 weeks, I'll be done teaching for the year. I will be moving (near my family) in June and I'm so excited. But here's the deal - I don't know what to do for Sept.! Ideally I would love to work part time - so much less stress just teaching 2-3 days a week and then having more time to pursue other interests of mine plus being able to focus on having a baby or keeping the baby if I'm preggers by then. I'm currently 4 days before my expected period and hoping and praying I'm preggers! Anyway, if I'm not preggers by June, should I just go back full time? The dh works for himself and I provide insurance so we will need to pay for it ourselves if I only do part time! UGH! If only I stayed preggers the 3 times before - this decision would be 100 times easier!!!

[Thandeka]

Oooh I am 6 days before. Fingers crossed for both of us!

Could you do supply or something in the interim?

I hate that pregnancy status sooo affects everything else in your life (as it should if you are pregnant, but when you are then not, or just trying to be it is horrible!)