how 'into' the whole ttc thing is your dh/dp?

[totalmisfit]

obviously they're all involved in the practical side of things

but when it comes to who initiates the conversations on the subject, who thinks about it non-stop, who's already thinking ahead about baby names, what they might look like etc... is it nearly always you who's the driving force?

Cos it that's how it is in our house, and it was the same when dd was on the way. He seems to know the right things to say, when pressed, but he just doesn't seem that bothered. Maybe it's my hormones talking (AF is 2 days late) but that's how it seems right now.

[MrsJoeMcIntyre]

Ditto, totalmisfit. Dh is 'on board', but not desperately into it, IYSWIM. He was the same with dd, to be fair, although I'll never forget the look on his face when she was born, and I take heart from that!

[MrsJoeMcIntyre]

annie - I have been twelve years old again since they reformed.

[totalmisfit]

good to know we're normal

you're right annie, it's probably just down to the basics of biology as much as anything

i can lay off the poor guy now, ashamed to say i gave him a bit of an earful last night about him 'just going through the motions'. horrid hormonal bint that i am!

[MrsJoeMcIntyre]

Confused now. But thanks for the compliment! I used to be Pinkjenny, I get ignored a lot since my namechange.

[totalmisfit]

mrsjoemcintyre - what's the origin of your name? sorry, i'm a bit slow on the uptake.

[MrsJoeMcIntyre]

[http://www.joeymcintyre.com/ Haven't you ever heard of New Kids on the Block?]

[MrsJoeMcIntyre]

Grrr. here

[ABetaDad]

MrsJoeMcIntyre - that pretty much how I felt.

I wanted children and we TTC for a long time by natural means but I found the whole business of 'having to do it' on demand at the right time made me feel unhappy. I guess most blokes feel that way and it probably disproves the assertion that men just want to have sex a lot and often. The emotional side is missing when you have to do it on demand.

After failing to conceive, we then went through two rounds of IVF which I found actually emotionally draining and upsetting as I felt I was being treated pretty much as a 'stud animal' by the IVF clinic where the staff would routinely ignore me and just talk to my wife even when I was sat right next to her.

In the end we had two lovely sons by natural method. Holding both DS1 and DS2 straight after they were born were pretty special moments. I always get a tear in my eye just thinking about it - like now.

.

[MrsTittleMouse]

My DH was completely into having a family and agreed 100% with our fertility treatment. But he too struggled with the day-to-day stuff. I had the same problem as everyone else on here that I was the one that had my body giving me all kinds of confusing messages, and so I was the one that found it harder to forget about it. I also found that even though the fertility wasn't 100% my "fault" (dreadful word, but you know what I mean), I was the one who had to have treatment, as so every month that we didn't conceive felt like a failure on my part.

Good luck, by the way.

[totalmisfit]

i do remember them being on telly and jumping about when i was about 8 or nine. didn't know his name tho'. wasn't really into music till my teens.

[totalmisfit]

MTM, that must have been especially tough for you, even though it sounds as though he was very supportive.

[ABetaDad]

totalmisfit - your DH probably isn't really feeling like he can actually do much more than he is already. He might even be feeling like its all becoming a bit of a chore which might make him sound a bit unenthusiastic even if he is happy to have more children. Your anxiety is of course understandable and I am not criticising that all.

Hope it all goes well. Good luck.

[shirleyc]

My dh is more into the idea than i ever thought he would be! After 15 years of saying no def not, he decided the time was right (after me nagging him to think about it for last year) and has looked up baby names, talked about the labour ( had a few discussions about that!) and even looked into dates for my ovulation, even if it left us slightly confused!!