18mths ttc, 5th clomid cycle, bfp!!! but........

[blondie80]

i now have to tell my best friend who has been trying for double the time i have and is currently on an AI waiting list.

i am soooo happy, but how do i break the news?? any ideas??

[diedandgonetodevon]

COngratulations!!

If your friend is aware of how long you waited she will understand how much you wanted this.
Just tread carefully with her because she will be happy for you but understandably is likely to feel very sad for herself.

[blondie80]

thanks, it's just she cried to me for hours when a close relative of her became pregnant last year. i know she will be happy for me, just am dreading telling her.

[diedandgonetodevon]

It is so tough isn't it. Hopefully someone with some exerience will be along soon with some better advice for you.

[sifuentes]

I was in a similar situation. I think maybe send her an email rather than tell her face to face. That way she can be going privately but to you either on email or phone or in person, in her own time. Putting myself in her shoes I wouldn't want to be surprised by it face to face in case of causing upset by my reaction. This way she has more control. And of course despite the inevitable pangs of jealousy she will be delighted for you.

congratulations. you must be totally over the moon

[blondie80]

thanks, i think i will call over to hers tonight and tell her, i don't think she will be surprised as we've both been trying for ages and sooner or later it would be one of us. (fingers crossed).

p.s. i am totally so far over the moon it's unreal!!

[sifuentes]

good for you. from personal experience when i have had friends who have been trying for a while i am always pleased for them actually. it's the ones who seem to have it all too easy who make me go temporarily but even then that's normally the people I don't even really like. god i am being charitable!

She will be very chuffed for you. I am and I have never even 'met' you before. Good luck with it all!

[krugerparkrules]

congrats on your pregnancy .....

i must say i agree with sifuentes, i have also been in that situation, trying forever to conceive, multiple miscarriages, a friend arrived at my house to tell me about her pregnancy. I felt very drained, had to put on my happy face for her ( i had just had a negative from a cycle which she was not aware of).

I was very happy for her, but i would have liked to have known by text or email, so that i could have prepared myself a little before seeing her.

wishing you a good 9 months ahead

[lizziemun]

I would just tell her first so there is no risk of her hearing your news secondhand.

Let her know that you understand that she is going to be upset.

[blondie80]

Thanks all,

i chickened out of calling over last night, so i'm going to e-mail her today.

you're right lizziemum, she would be more hurt to hear secondhand.

xx

[nunnie]

Congratulations

Tell her, maybe it will give her hope for herself.

[sadmavis]

Congratulations on you BFP
I have been the friend you describe, I've been ttc 3yrs with assisted conception and I have been told by both phone and email about people's pgs (people who knew we were ttc and were trying to tell me sensitively) I found te email one much easier to respond to, I typed and reread my reply through tears but when I said I was pleased for them I meant it. When I was told over the phone the friend didn't just tell me and that was it, we chatted for about 1/2 hr and I barely held it together. After we'd hung up I sobbed and sobbed
I would email her rather than tell her either in person or on the phone, and in your email acknowledge that you know she'll find it hard and that you wanted to tell her before she found out from elsewhere etc but then wait for her to reply. You'll probably be suprised at her response - when I replied that I was really happy and thankful that she'd emailed me to tell me before anyone else I meant it, even if there were some tears for myself too.
Good luck, you sound like a lovely friend