So blinking Broody, can I wait till 2012!!

[Archersmum]

I cant believe it , I already have ds age 6 and I promised myself after the first I would get a proper career ,with a decent wage so we could buy a house, get married and then have our 2nd! ha so have worked out by 2012 I should have finished my training got a good job etc....<br /> But Im so desperate to have a baby and stay at home! fed up with working f/t! But I will be 36 by 2012, my ds will be 10yrs. we can`t afford a baby at the moment ,my dp has gone self employed in a credit crunch with hardly any work and buying a house is not appropiate either. Why do I have to be so complicated. Any one else with a similar prob!?

[Joolsiam]

Well I was in pretty much your situation in my early thirties, so didn't start TTC till last year. I'm 39 now, and after one MC, am terrified time is running out.

There is never a good time to have a baby - I wish I'd just thought sod the (lack of)money and gone for it earlier - you will always find a way of coping

[hel9a]

Hello Dropdeadfred,

I have no advice for you but I'm in the same situation i.e. not in the best financial situation but wanting to start TTC anyway.

I'm hoping there're some words of wisdom out there. I'm wanting everyone to tell me,"Go ahead... you'll never regret it!"
Is there anyone out there who'll admit that they threw caution to the wind and then regretted it?!

[hel9a]

Hello Dropdeadfred, (Sorry! I keep making mistakes with my posts!)

I have no advice for you but I'm in the same situation i.e. not in the best financial situation but wanting to start TTC anyway.

I'm hoping there're some words of wisdom out there. I'm wanting everyone to tell me,"Go ahead... you'll never regret it!"
Is there anyone out there who'll admit that they threw caution to the wind and then regretted it?!

[Northernlurker]

I think you should stop thinkinng about 2012 becacuse that's just to far away to be bearable quite frankly - but I also think that you owe it to all of you to be in the best position you can when you add to your family. Nobody regrets having a child - but some circumstances create a lot of stress around that joyful event. Why not reassess where you are at in 6 months time. Maybe it won't be a good time to buy a house - but you could stockpile cash so that 2010 could be your year for a baby living a rented place where you feel secure then move into a place of your own when the baby is 2 or 3 or even at school?

[vtiredmummy]

Hello, I'm in a similar position and empathise! DH and I were TTC#2 at the start of Jan, then he was made redundant on his second day back after Xmas.

Fortunately/unfortunately I got AF so I'm not pg, but of course now with a sensible head on TTC#2 is not an option. I'm also f/t and hating it, desperate to cut down hrs or give up, but not an option at present.

However I'm still super broody and trying desperately for head to rule heart.

I'm trying to focus on what we do have, beautiful DS, a good relationship, good friends etc. But it's not easy!

[MrsHappy]

2012 seems like a long time away.
IME there is never an ideal time to have a baby, but the problem with leaving it is that you might leave it too late. Getting married does not need to cost much and buying a house is not a necessity (in many countries the norm is renting, it's only in the UK where we have this weird obsession with property!).

I started ttc number 2 before my DD was one. We are now 20 months down the line and still no viable pregnancy. I am increasingly glad that we started trying for number 2 when we did, especially as I would like more than 2 children. Of course, if the finances are not ideal you'll probably get pregnant at the drop of a hat, but I think it is not worth waiting a long time since waiting can equal reduced chances...

[MuppetsMuggle]

I'll be TTC in 2012 along with you, i'll be 29 going on 30, we both agreed once i've completed my studies and found a job we can TTC#2.

I'm broody as hell too.

[Archersmum]

Thanks for all your replies, Yes 2012 is a long way away and yes when I get there it might take me a long time to concieve; or I might not even be able to have another one!. I will see what the situation is like in 6-12 months!. I did want to do a teacher training course in a years time so hence why I thought I could wait until that was out of the way. But if my partners buisness takes off then hey!.Anybody need a boatbuilder? Anybody tried being a F/T student and pregnant at the same time!!

[KatB]

Archersmum
I'm in my final year at university (FT) and TTC#4. Had 2 pregnancies recently but lost both early on. My youngest is 5 1/2 and I got broody a couple of years ago but decided to wait until I finished uni.... well I'm not quite finished but finals are in May so I figured since I sat my GCSE's and A Levels at 8 months pregnant I can manage these ones too
Maybe I'm a little crazy though... there's never a right time - I was single and 16 when I had my DS (now 12) and you find ways round it. Now I'm married and slightly less skint (although not much) and yeah my imaginary baby won't get designer cot blankets and a superduper all singing pushchair but I'm sure he/she will be just as happy in my 2nd hand stuff.

Me and DH are both early in our careers and our finances are only going to get better. Babies need cuddles and love... 10 year olds and teenagers need money!!!! Go for it

[SeaGreen]

Hi I'm in the same situation, and I must say it's oddly relieving to know other people are thinking the same way. After years of thinking TTC time was a long way off for us, we suddenly had a total change of heart over christmas (I think it was the warm fuzzies).
And now things are too uncertain, we may be facing redundancy and a shift, god knows, and basically it's a good decision at the wrong time. So I guess definitely not even TTC this year then

[firstname]

I'm going to join this thread. I've wanted to TTC since DS was born in late 2006 but have been very sensible and gone back on the Pill until his 3rd birthday.

I am so excited/ exhausted with waiting its doing my head in. Plan to come off the pill on his birthday and go go go!

So, in essence I have been waiting to TTC for 2 and a bit years makes the remaining 9 mo seem like a summers afternoon!

[JumpingJellyfish]

I had my DS aged 25, while I had a fairly good but not very well paid career, and DH had just started a new job after being unemployed or temporarily employed for around 5 yrs- and we consequently had lots of debt. I had also just started a part-time PhD when I fell pregnant (which was sort of planned) in the hope this would eventually help me go up the pay scales in uni... I worked FT briefly, then PT after DS was born, luckily in spite of having to change jobs DH's work became a bit more stable and we managed to pay off a lot of debt, then I got pregnant again and am now finally finishing my PhD (in my own time i.e. eves), working 2 days a week and DD(youngest) is 19mo (and we're TTC#3!). It is a lot of juggling and at times we have had to scrape money together from nothing, and sometimes it's hard comparing ourselves to others who have more- but I feel in spite of this it has been worth it, I am glad I didn't wait until things were more "stable" financially- like others have said I really don't think youngsters have to cost that much (we have 2nd hand or freecycled everything!) and there is never a perfect time to have a baby. In my opinion you should go for it- you'll find a way to carve a path!

[JumpingJellyfish]

FWIW and friend and her DH have recently had to declare themselves bankrupt after he lots his job in the building industry 8 months ago- they have 4 DCs all under age 7. In spite of what sounds like a hellish situation they are coping; the bankrupcy as awful as it sounds is giving them a much-needed fresh financial start, they are moving to a rented 2 bedroom house owned by a friend in a beuatiful area, next to their girls' bestfriends. My friend and her DH will have to sleep on a sofa bed, it'll be very cosy, but they'll be happy and all together (fortunately her DH has now got a job again). There is always a way.

[JumpingJellyfish]

of course meant to type FWIW "a" nor "and"! oops

[firstname]

In a way I agree JJF but...

Whilst there's no 'right time' there IS such a thing as a wrong time... for example, the prospect of having two young children in childcare whilst I return to work - choosing to double the cost (from 345 per month to 700 per month) does seem pretty foolish especially if one is 'finding a way' to begin with, IYKWIM.

With the most practical personality and the best will in the world, we cant find another 350 odd per month! And thats without the usual costs (which so far, have been minimal). However when one is in school, we will have a far better chance of enjoying our lives, if everything else is equal (which one can't plan for!).

Also sometimes there are other things at stake...personally I'm waiting for DS to get older because the prospect of having a toddler and a new baby would send my MH issues into overdrive!

[Issy42]

firstname - have you checked how much extra tax credit you get with 2 children in childcare? I looked into it when I was worried that my fertility treatment increased the risk of twins and the fertility nurse mentioned a friend who was better off and she was right - the extra tax credit covered the second nursery fee. If you google tax credits the calculator comes up fairly near the top.

[brettgirl2]

First name - I'm currently 31 weeks PG and am in exactly the same situation. As far as tax credits are concerned we are over the upper limit to claim anything, so with childcare vouchers it would seemingly cost about £1500 a month for two children in nursery full time . I know that me and DH both earn fairly well but neither of us are 40% tax payers, so not high earners and therefore the child care vouchers are worth less and child care costs us more than if we earnt more . Our salaries are fairly equal too - so either of us giving up work would be a nightmare.

So anyway, to the OP, I'll probably be ttc in 2012 too and I'll be 34/5!