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Conception

TTC with a man with no sex drive, am i the only one ?

6 replies

nutherone · 30/11/2008 09:07

We are TTC no 2, have been for about 9 months, but i know we are not having enough sex as he is just not into i! We usually manage every other day for the week i think i'm ovulating but end up not doing it inbetween, and often i think we are missing ovulation time by not even managing every other day during that time or ov happening before or after!

This month i said lets just go for it and increase our chances, he agreed and supposed to be starting last night but he said sorry i'm not in the mood. This has happened a few other months and i just cant help being really disappointed, frustrated and angry. I'm not always 100 percent in the mood but i find it so hard to understand that he wouldnt be and that he cant/wont work on it for the sake of ttc. He's never been that much into sex but we have a good relatiionship in spite of it and usually i have learned to live with it. He's not into porn or anything and so single minded i'm not really able to seduce him unless he's in the mood already which is rare.

Its driving me crazy because i'm trying to avoid getting angry with him, putting pressure on him or arguing and further spoiling chances of bd!!! We do talk about it between times and have told him exactly how small a window we have blah blah blah, he understands but when it comes to the, ahem, crunch he just wont do it.

I feel like i'm the only woman in the world with this problem! Am i?!!

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Roskva · 30/11/2008 09:49

No, you are not the only one. When we were ttc, dh was not interested in sex 'timetabled' for the purposes of conception, as in 'we need to do it every other day this week'. Maybe your dh also feels unable to perform under pressure, however loving the situation is. But if I seduced my dh, so to speak, that made the sex about him and he never said no (it also made it considerably more fun for me, too ). You know when your fertile time is, just don't necessarily tell your dh. It worked for us - our ds was born in September, so good luck, and keep having fun.

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Roskva · 30/11/2008 09:49

No, you are not the only one. When we were ttc, dh was not interested in sex 'timetabled' for the purposes of conception, as in 'we need to do it every other day this week'. Maybe your dh also feels unable to perform under pressure, however loving the situation is. But if I seduced my dh, so to speak, that made the sex about him and he never said no (it also made it considerably more fun for me, too ). You know when your fertile time is, just don't necessarily tell your dh. It worked for us - our ds was born in September, so good luck, and keep having fun.

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Roskva · 30/11/2008 09:50

Oops, sorry, accidentally pressed the send button twice

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girlwithacurl · 01/12/2008 13:59

Are you charting so you can work out your most fertile time, if you can identify the 2-3 days that you are most likley to concieve then you could concentrate your efforts on those days! I was making my poor DP go every day from CD10 to DC17, and since I have been charting I have realised that I ovulate later than I thought, after CD17, so we were going for it, but at the wrong time!

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Comma2 · 22/12/2008 23:53

Buy yourself a fertility computer, so you know your days and can target them. Also, some guys trust the computer more which makes them more comofrtable exerting themselves.

And no, you are not alone, a low sex-drive can hit either partner so this happens all the time.

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Clairwil · 23/12/2008 00:08

Buy him some porn ?

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