Easy question, I hope

[ScaryHairy]

DH and I have agreed to try for number two (yay!)

But I have a looooong cycle, especially since my daughter was born. Currently I am at 36 or 37 days. Pre-baby I had a 14 day luteal phase (not sure about now, but I suspect it is the same), but my cycle was between 30-32 days, so it was better.

Matters are complicated by DH working away from home from Monday to Thursday, and sometimes longer, every week.

I need to calculate when I am most likely to get pregnant in order to ensure that we are in the same place at the right time. I don't plan to tell DH when the right time is, but don't feel I can just wait and see what happens as the fact that we are not in the same location so often means that planning is required!

So, obvious q: when is the best time to have sex in order to get me pregnant?

second q I just thought of: is there anything that might assist in shortening my cycle?

Thanks so much

[gigglewitch]

i used personna - litle gadget from Boots etc, for use either as contraception help or (as we did, obv) for TTC. not cheap but helps u figure out your cycle.

I tried fertility stick-thingys but you need to know when to start testing...and when i used those i got boys!! but that is a whole different can of worms isnt it

[jamila169]

Try to have sex as regularly as you can - it stops it being a means to an end and also DH's swimmers will be much better quality if they are fresh IYKWIM - don't forget that waiting until you ovulate can mean you missing the boat, so to speak !
lisa x

[ScaryHairy]

wow, Thanks guys! I really didn't expect such a quick response at this time of night.

Nice idea, Jamila, but with our schedules weekends are the best we can do!

The sticks would be good but I have very limited windows of opportunity where we are in the same place and so a stick can tell me I am about to ovulate all it likes, but it won't get me near my DH's penis!!

(Starlight - we used sticks last time, and I travelled 200 miles to make it happen (harder now I have DD) and had a (totally lovely) girl)

I suppose what I need to understand is - how long does it take for sperm to get "into position" and also how long after EWCM/high open cervix begins am I likely to ovulate?

[jamila169]

Totally understand scary - DH works nights 4 on 4 off so its a bloody miracle we're now expecting #4! I learnt a long time ago that when you work shifts there's some months it just ain't gonna happen! (took 4 years to get DS2 when we were both doing shift work)
Lisa x

[ScaryHairy]

4 is great.

[bet that took some planning!]

[jamila169]

We decided early on that actively planning wouldn't work with the shifts thing, so basically we sort of BD'd when we got chance and i made a particular effort round about ovulation time (not that DH clicked on to that lol!)
lisa x

[ScaryHairy]

I suppose my problem is that because my cycle is longish I only get so many chances. Especially as have hurtled past 30 and my eggs aren't getting any fresher. Plus I am the type who plans everything! I would love to leave it to chance but am not made that way (last time I ended up temping, sticks, checking cervical position and mucus and would like to be a bit more chilled this time!)

[amytheearwaxbanisher]

behave like bunnys?

[RuthChan]

Have you taken your temperature when you wake up in the morning?
It's a bit of a hassle but it's a good way to predict ovulation.
Take your temperature when you wake up, before getting out of bed or doing any significant physical activity.
Your temperature should be pretty constant from day to day during the start of your cycle.
The day that you ovulate it should rise by about 0.5-1.0 degree.
It's more reliable than guessing which day you might be ovulating.
You'll soon about your new cycle pattern.

Good luck!!

[jamila169]

Hurlted past 30 scary? I passed that landmark before DS1 was born and am now steaming merrily towards 40 (39 a month after due date - arrrgghh).
Lisa x

[sallycinamon]

Scary, you asked a question I always wonder about too. How long after appearance of EWCM do you ovulate? Can anyone out there help us with an answer?

Sorry to butt in but I have another question. If you are taking your temp, by the time the increase has occurred is it too late to have sex and hope to conceive? Have you missed the boat or are you still fertile after this increase?

[pinkpeony]

I read a very helpful booked called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler - explains everything you need to know for TTC and what all of the fertility signs mean.
The temperature goes up usually the day after you ovulate - so usually too late to conceive then - the egg lives 6-12 hours on average after release, although can be up to 24, and apparently some women can release a second egg the following day as well. So still worth trying just in case.
As for EWCM - I think you ovulate on the last day of fertile-quality CM, but the EWCM helps to keep the sperm alive, so you should try any day you have EWCM in any case, as it will help keep the sperm alive until you ovulate.

[gigglewitch]

this sounds like way tmi but appologies in advance - this is mn and you did ask...
figure out your 'ovulatory mucus' and chart your cycles, figure out what sort of mucus turns up when, as after AF you have little / none, then the slippery watery, then thicker stuff. ok u get the picture i'm sure. basically my pg3 involved writing everything down on little squared-paper charts for six months then after i got it worked out, decided i knew what was what and 8wks later bfp. hehe!!

[ScaryHairy]

Can I ask a wee follow up question of you kind ladies?

OK, I am on CD 21 of an approx 36 day cycle. DH was home for the weekend, and so of course there was action up until yesterday.

Today, on a whim, I bought some OPKs - which detected LH surge this morning, but nothing this evening (when I hadn't pee'd for 4 hours). I guess this means I will ovulate roughly tonight or tomorrow morning.

DH is now away again until Friday. Is my window missed? I just don't want to get my hopes up if there is no way that last night could have done the trick...