Sister's boss told colleagues about her fertility treatment...

[anchovies]

My sister (who posts on here as mrsrabbit) rang earlier really upset as her boss, the school headteacher, has told one of my sisters colleagues that my sister is having fertility treatment. The woman he has told is pregnant and has a big mouth so I am sure he did it with the best intentions (to make her aware of my sisters feelings) but this woman has now told other (probably all) of my sisters colleagues.

My poor sis was finally starting to feel a bit positive about things. She has been trying for 2 years now and has had a very hard time. And now she is devastated that everyone knows, she has always played down the whole "babies" issue at work. The man is such an idiot, he has always been a bully but I can't believe he has done this. I've told her she needs to speak to him when she has calmed down (distraught at the moment) should she speak to him in person or send a letter (ie grievance procedure)?

[Chirpygirl]

I would say a letter would be the best bet, in that situation I wouldn't trust myself not to burst into tears or get really angry.
Mayeb she should have a word with the woman he told and ask her to keep it quiet, it may be too late but at least then people won't talk about it all the time.

A good friend of mine was in teh same situation when our boss told everyone she had the day off for treatment as she was having IUI. I was the only one who knew and made a point of saying she shouldn't have said that and it is no-one's business. My friend didn't mind people knowing as long as they didn't start random conversations with her about treatment etc.

Sorry, thats a bit rambly but am in teh office and typing fast before boss comes back!

[anchovies]

Thanks chirpygirl, I know I wouldn't be able to speak to him in person, especially as he's not a very nice person at the best of times! I don't think she'll be up for telling the girl he told not to say anything, plus think everyone probably knows by now. She only found out today (from somebody else) that he told the woman yesterday.

It doesn't help that 4 of the women in the school are currently pg and about another 4 are off on maternity leave!

[Sparks]

Your poor sister. I have had fertility treatment myself and it is no walk in the park.

If it were me, I would definitely send a letter. It is a serious breach of confidentiality.

[Chirpygirl]

That's so bad, as Sparks said it is a very serious breach and she deserves an apology if nothing else.
The problem is now everyone knows your sis is going to have to decide how she wants to deal with it, and she should never have been put in that position by someone else.

Any chance she can cc to governers? I don't know how schools work though!

[anchovies]

That's what I was thinking chirpygirl, letter to the governers. Am hoping she's got an employees handbook telling her where to make her complaint as it's hard when the boss is the headteacher.

She's still so upset, she hasn't even told her friends as she finds it so hard to talk about it and now everyone she works with knows without any choice in the matter. God what a thoughtless b*stard!