Feeling a bit pathetic / desperate

[gracey1]

So we've been trying since last June. Went through July taking a test every other day to no avail. Seem to have got the bug again and last period (although only a day and half long) started January 7th. Took a test today, I don't even know what I expected it to say other than negative but now I feel so low and useless. I can't seem to pull myself round I genuinely feel desperate. And very alone (but have a wonderful DH) Help!

[Tattybogle89]

Aw this sounds really difficult. I conceived first try with my first a long time ago and am now trying again. Only on month two.. But I think the expectation was there to fall quickly again? And I was a blubbering mess when it was negative last month.. So I cant imagine how low you must be feeling. Negatives are a total blow.. Even when you KNOW its going to be negative.. Its hard to accept isn't it? Do you have frequent cycles? Do you track ovulation as well I take it?

[physicskate]

It's all made me feel so low I was prescribed antidepressants... life can be shit when you're used to doing the right things and earning those things you do have.

Been trying since April. Some months better than others. They say patience is a virtue. I'm finding plans are helpful- like a trip next Christmas (hoping I won't be able to go, secretly).

You aren't alone...

[gracey1]

Thanks for your replies. Cycle can be anywhere between 28 and 39 bit random. This is going to sound mad but I refused to book a holiday as I was convinced that we'd have an addition.. feels like it's taking over my life. I even sat and worked out maternity pay trying to plan.. pathetic when not even expecting.. I can only but dream. Saying that I am a little overweight and 34, maybe that's for something to do with it? Also had laser for endometriosis a couple of years back so not exactly in the front foot

[sarahboro1]

Oh gracey and Kate bless you both. Hang in there, it's tough but it will happen for us all by hook or by crook. We've been ttc since last April, when I came off the pill I actually expected I'd be giving birth soon now I thought it would just happen straight away. After all why had I been taking the pill for over 10 years??!!

Keep your chins up, remember you can always come on here and let it all out. Xx

[onlymrsmac]

Gracey I've been there! Got pregnant with Dd1 on the 1st cycle in 2014. Decided December 15 to try for Dc2.

Took 12 months of cycles, OPKs and obsessive POAS. Finally got a cb digital OPK and got BFP in December 16.

Be kind to yourself! I am also 34 and a bit overweight, it can happen.

Currently 10+1

for you, it's so hard

[LumelaMme]

Gracey, if you have irregular cycles, do you know when you're fertile? It would be worth looking into that.

I remember trying to get pg the first time. It's awful when it just doesn't happen.

[Mammabear31]

I'm with you OP. Just failed on cycle 11, and it hard me really hard this time. You aren't alone and I just wanted you to know that, as that's all I can say right now.

[confusedat23]

Gracey You are not pathetic!!!

Just because you are planning doesnot make you pathetic.
I have planned all my Mat leave and even brought bit from mothercare in the sale to store!

Those bits you are doing are all part of TTC,sure some people don't do them until after they have concieved but if it makes us feel like we are a step further along in our journey then so be it!

It will give us lot (That are not pathetic!) The chance to relax through our pregnancies without worrying about affording stuff and mat pay etc.