Please excuse my ramblings but have no one to talk to in RL - have two best friends, one is currently pregnant and the other has recently found it out it is unlikely she'll ever have children.
Background - I'm mid thirties, DP is mid forties. He does shift work, and has erectile dysfunction. He has little interest in sex and never really has. With night shifts and ED it is hardly surprising. I have a day job but it is quite stressful.
I came off the pill in September 2015, but due to DP's ED and lack of interest in sex, we only had sex about 3 times between September and May despite him saying he wants a baby (he instigated TTC). In May we had a long conversation about it and he said yes it was what he really wanted and I needed to let him know when the right 'time' was. The first couple of months we only did it once in my FW, we then had a 2 week holiday which completely coincided with my FW and had lots of sex which was very unusual but great. It felt fun because we were on holiday, and not just for the function of TTC.
4 months on and we've only had sex a handful of times, and only when I tell him it is the right time. I hate it. I feel like that is the only reason he wants me as he doesn't go near me at any other time. This month it hasn't happened at all because I didn't tell him. I've made it clear that the best way is to just have regular sex because we don't really know when the right time is but it falls on deaf ears.
I've got to the point that I can't see it happening for us. I've had the stress of TTC for over a year, but we wouldn't qualify for help due to the lack of sex. I also don't want to put my body through something that may be completely unnecessary.
I've got the Ovia app and take preconception vitamins but I want to stop all that and try to take a 'if it happens it happens, if not it doesn't'. That is easier said than done though because I know I should be taking folic acid and I'd feel so guilty if a miracle happened and there turned out to be something wrong that I could have prevented.
Sorry for the ramble. I feel like I'm nothing to DP but there isn't a single person I can talk to about it.
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7 replies
voxnihili · 20/11/2016 09:52
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