Why does this not feel good?

(3 Posts)
Scottysmum2008 Tue 08-Nov-16 11:45:51

Have been ttc for @2.5yrs now. I am 41 and DH is 32. We have a DS together and experienced a mmc nearly 3yrs ago.
I made the decision to ask for help earlier this year from my doctor. Yesterday our test results have come back ok, no reason not to continue ttc. So why don't I feel happy at this good news? DH wants us to continue to put everything into ttc as he wants to make this better, but I think I am done for now. At what point is it the right decision to stop? How do I know if I am at that point; can I continue to face the continuation of disappointment each month in this quest? Is it fair on all of us?

LauraK1987 Fri 11-Nov-16 19:15:44

Hi Scottysmum,

I've just read and though if I shared my story with you it might help?

Now there are some differences, one being I've just turned 29 and the other being me and my bf were only ttc number2 for 5 months so nowhere near as long as you, however the month I conceived (this month) was the first month I didn't track a thing....no ovulation, fertile windows, peak days, cm...nothing at all!! I completely distracted myself with work and other things, I couldn't handle another month of trying to have sex on this day or that day and then the 2ww where all I did was symptom spot and drive myself mad....so I did none of those things at all....it helps that I have a stressful job which took my mind off things but it seemed to do the trick as I was two days late for my period and got a positive test. You seem to have two options you can either throw everything into this like your husband has suggested which could come with a lot of added pressure etc or you can ease off a bit, and try being a little more relaxed? If your results have come back clear and there's no reason why things are taking a while then realistically there's no reason why this won't happen for you eventually? I know it's much easier said than done but maybe a more relaxed approach might be the way forward for now?

Phoenix76 Fri 11-Nov-16 22:18:09

I agree with Laura about the stress thing! While ttc2, I was getting in a right old state, plotting charts, fretting, thinking I've left it too late, I was totally obsessed. Anyway, I'm 40 and now have my 8 month old asleep in her basket beside me. Here's what I did: I sent dp to the doctors wanting him to do a sperm sample, he came back with a message from the doctor telling me not to stress as it's been proven to prevent conception although they're not sure exactly why. I ditched all my testing kits and just noted my af on the calendar (the relief!). I researched fertility and Ubiquinol QC10 came back very interesting particularly in our age group ( Google Ubiquinol & fertility) , we dtd every 2-3 days regardless of cycles and honestly within a month I was pregnant. I know it's hard not to stress, I really know, sending you lots of best wishes and luck and do what feels right for you.

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