How do you stop yourself going slowly mad?

(22 Posts)
misskwalters Sun 16-Oct-16 17:56:54

Hi everyone,

My partner and I have recently started trying to conceive. I am waiting on my second period since starting to try. My big question is...how do you stop driving yourself mad?? I'm thinking about it constantly and at every little thing I'm wondering is that a symptom of pregnancy or my period or just my mind playing tricks on me?

Anyone have any tips or words of wisdom? Or does anyone else feel the same? I hope I am not alone in desperately trying not to obsess over it!

Thanks confused

Dixiechick1991 Sun 16-Oct-16 18:05:04

I feel exactly the same as you missk
I'm currently on cycle 2, so waiting for my second real period (or third if I could withdrawal bleed) I'm due tomorrow I think and keep thinking "oh back ache. That must be AF!"
Stupidly POAS today and got a BFN.
But I find myself obessing on weekends when I have no work to distract me! Hopefully after a couple more cycles I'll know my body a bit more and won't symptom spot as bad.

But you're not alone!

missklouise Sun 16-Oct-16 18:18:11

Ok, great to know I'm not alone!!! I'm not quite "down" with the lingo on here though and I'm not sure what the abbreviations mean. Would you mind explaining? blush

CharminglyGawky Sun 16-Oct-16 18:39:43

AF is aunty flo, a nickname for periods.

POAS is Pee On A Stick

BFN/BFP is Big Fat Negative/Positive.

You are normal, I found TTC (trying to conceive) hellish. Ended up going for the relaxed method of just having sex mid cycle and trying not to plan it too much but still ended up stressed out by it. As the months went by it became more regimental and I started ovulation tests and tracking my cycle although never took my temperature.

And then got pregnant on a month 'off' when we only had sex once hmm

Good luck, but try to remember that 2 months trying is nothing really so try not to stress!

missklouise Sun 16-Oct-16 18:45:10

It's not that I'm stressing too much at the moment, it's more the anticipation of waiting to find out!

This month I have felt; light headed, had cramps/dull ache, sore nipples, felt sick, been constipated, felt like I have a cold coming (lots of sneezing!) and hiccups ALOT.

I know some of these may not be a symptom but every little twinge or feeling, I can't help but wonder...could that be a symptom or just AF on it's way? Can't help but feel I'm over thinking everything!

WantingBaby1 Mon 17-Oct-16 11:56:09

God knows! I'm slowly going insane constantly checking on here / my cycle apps / taking pregnancy vits etc. And I'm only on my first cycle! Must get a grip.

BembaNugget Mon 17-Oct-16 12:40:21

I did the same when me and my partner first started trying to conceive and I've just decided that it will happen when the time is right and we'll just keep trying. I'm still putting in all the effort such as ovulation kits and vitamins and such likes but I actively try not to fuss so much.
It is still hellish though. I have two friends who had their little boys unplanned and I feel kinda crappy that me and my fiancé are actively trying, yet seem to get nowhere.

oliversmummy26 Mon 17-Oct-16 12:59:47

I am so pleased I'm not alone smile

I came of Micronor (mini pill) about a month ago now, have had one period (at 32 days which is longer than usual, I was 28/29 days when on the pill) and have managed to convince myself that I'm pregnant already.
Loads of symptoms, dizzy spells, nausea, cramps about a week after (what Ovia told me was) ovulation, headaches, tiredness etc.

Took a test last Thursday evening (first response) which was negative though kind of expected it as that was 5-7 days before AF due. Another on Sunday morning (yesterday), though second urine of the day, and only 30 mins and a coffee after the first, also negative.

I have now convinced myself that I'm not pregnant (despite us having sex 10 days in 14 over my "fertile window") and just want AF to arrive so that I know one way or another - due in the next 2-3 days, so we will see.

But I can't concentrate on anything, I have spent most of the morning recalculating when fertilisation could have been, implantation and when hCG could potentially show in a HPT (home pregnancy test).

I'm going mad and this is only my first cycle! I'm tempted to buy some ovulation kits now, but then think, well that would be a waste of money if I am pregnant!

I was obsessing even before we started trying, had potential dates in my calendar based on getting pregnant first time!

BertieBotts Mon 17-Oct-16 13:10:01

I found it all very exciting and fascinating at first and so got really into things like temping and symptom spotting and learning everything I could about conception. It's quite fun if you do it like that, treat it like a kind of project! And keep your eyes on the fact that the odds are still fairly low each individual month even if you get everything right. It's the way they add up over several months which makes conception likely. That way I don't feel bad when it doesn't happen every time.

Then if you end up going for a long time (cycle 7 here) it becomes more routine as well.

I also discovered totally by accident that if you plan loads of stressful things which would just make a baby a really terrible idea you stress far less when you're not pregnant!

Passthecake30 Mon 17-Oct-16 13:16:36

Coming from it from the other side...with ds I obsessed, poas obsessively and thought of nothing else. With dd I decided to get a realisation check as is wasted too much money and time... So I swore to myself that I would wait until I was 2 days late. Oh how I enjoyed feeling smug, even when af arrived, as I'd "won" and not wasted ££££££s...

oliversmummy26 Mon 17-Oct-16 13:40:29

Bertie I've been doing that too, I feel like I could take a test and pass with flying colours now, constantly counting backwards and forwards! I'm going to start checking my temp in the mornings I think to get a handle on ovulation and some ovulation kits too..

passthecake oh how I wish I could wait until the day AF is due, never mind two days after! I am seriously considering getting some cheap tests delivered tomorrow from amazon and trying almost daily, which I know is totally crazy. Especially as I'd promised DH that I would only test with him and he's away during the week...I'm now wondering how good my acting skills are if I get a BFP without him and have to redo it with him a few days later! blush

oliversmummy26 Mon 17-Oct-16 14:38:04

Guess what...? I've just done some more reading (yes I'm at work!! hmm ) and have found out that if you work backwards it's far easier to tell when ovulation took place, as this is generally 14 days before your first day of AF. Rather than the guesses and day ranges you're given for ovulation after AF.

I've been working back through my Ovia app, and it seems that for the last 3 months at least, I've reported having cramps almost 2 weeks to the day before AF starting.

This means that the cramps which I thought might be implantation about 10 days ago, were in fact more likely ovulation. Therefore, AF shouldn't be due until Saturday/Sunday this week...so the two tests I've already taken were both 7+ days too early!

So the cheap sensitive tests I've just bought which will arrive tomorrow will be perfect for Wednesday's first urine of the day...eek!! I'm so excited, and have totally managed to convince myself that I still have a shot this month!

Not that I'm obsessing or anything... blush

missklouise Mon 17-Oct-16 17:04:56

I have just bought a test and tested when I got home from work. Convinced myself I could see a tiny faint line...even took it out of the casing and held it to the light and I wasn't sure if I could see a tiny faint line or just where the line should be confused AF due in 2 days so I guess I will just have to wait but I think I have made myself worse by doing this!! X

BertieBotts Mon 17-Oct-16 18:48:04

Unless it's a properly shitty made in China test, missklouise, that's a positive.

oliversmummy26 Tue 18-Oct-16 10:29:02

fingers crossed for you missklouise ...I was doing the same at the weekend, but I could definitely only see the reflection of where the line should be, definitely only one line!

My last cycle was 32 days, but usually 28/29, so really not sure if I should work on a normal cycle, in which case AF is due today, or a longer one as that's what my last did...

I'm going to try my hardest to wait another couple of days before testing again, otherwise, this is going to become a very expensive business!!

missklouise Tue 18-Oct-16 19:04:11

I did another test...a clear blue one and it said not pregnant sad still early days so just have to wait and see if AF comes! X

missklouise Tue 18-Oct-16 19:06:11

This is the one from this morning...the one I did this afternoon (clear blue) said not pregnant. Not sure if it does really affect when you take it or if that's a myth??

MouseLove Tue 18-Oct-16 20:05:00

Just read the whole thread. I'm not a googler but something you mentioned made me scratch my head. Hiccups? Are those a sign. I've had them a lot in the past week. I'm CD33 today and plan to test at the weekend if AF hasn't arrived.

missklouise Tue 18-Oct-16 20:06:41

I will let you know in a couple of days wink haha could be stress?

MouseLove Tue 18-Oct-16 20:10:40

To be honest I'm not too stressed. I come across probably a bit like I am on NM but in RL I'm chill lol. Most of the ladies on the other posts can't believe I'm waiting till CD37 to do my first test. Lol

oliversmummy26 Wed 19-Oct-16 11:44:51

mouselove you have far more self control than me! I'm currently on CD30 and have so far done 3 tests in the last 5 days...all definitely negative sad

oliversmummy26 Thu 20-Oct-16 11:38:33

I took another test today, and got a faint positive line on a cheapy amazon test...eek!! Going to test again tonight with a clearblue with DH to confirm, so so excited!!! Due end of June next year, just after my son's 5th birthday! grin

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