Anyone trying to avoid connceiving a July/Aug baby?

(50 Posts)
T0ddlerSlave Fri 23-Sep-16 14:25:01

I'd always assumed I'd find conceiving reasonably easy and could choose roughly when to have DC. Worked fine for dc1 but have recently had a miscarriage with dc2 and now I'm looking at potentially having a baby in July/Aug.

Lots of studies suggest this can put them at a big disadvantage, but as I'm looking at a 3.5 age gap already I'm not sure I want to wait.

I know it's mad to try and plan, and I could still be trying a year from now, but is it reasonable to wait a couple of months just to save my future DC from struggling in the future?

melibu84 Fri 23-Sep-16 14:29:08

Why do they struggle? I'm an August baby and I turned out fine! smile

EssentialHummus Fri 23-Sep-16 14:38:21

I used to think like this. Then it dawned on me that DH is an August baby, and I'm a December baby from a part of the world where the academic year runs February - December. With going into our sterling academic results and careers, we did just fine grin.

EssentialHummus Fri 23-Sep-16 14:38:48

*Without

Doh!

bassetmum Fri 23-Sep-16 15:08:50

My OH and sister were both end of August babies and both of them have excelled academically. At the end of the day I don't think it matters when babies arrive, they had to put the cut off for the school years at some point.

MoonlightMojitos Fri 23-Sep-16 17:22:37

I'm the same... if I get a BFP next week when I test it'll be due first week June. We've decided if it doesn't happen to wait until the new year to start trying again as I really don't want a summer baby for a few reasons with the school year thing being one of them. Also don't want to be heavily pregnant at the hottest time of the year, I'm a real winter lover and can't stand the heat as it is! Each to their own! I worked in a nursery previously for a few years and personally I really did see the difference when they were off to school and so young compared to the ones who were sept/Oct onwards and have had almost a full year more of nursery prep. It's all down to how you feel about it. We've been trying since 1st May btw so this will be 6 months (although I did get bfp but ended in mc)

brianeena Fri 23-Sep-16 17:31:30

is this for real?

needtoloseastone Fri 23-Sep-16 17:34:40

An August baby would also mean one less year of paying for childcare.

ElphabaTheGreen Fri 23-Sep-16 17:42:19

Along the lines of needstoloseastone - I was thanking all the gods today that my August baby (DS2) was not born a month later as I'd be looking at three years of separate school and nursery drop-offs/collections instead of two. Get it done - don't overthink meaningless trends.

Also - DS2 seems to have the developmental advantage of having an older sibling to copy, so his language and perceptual skills are further along than DS1's were at the same age. I have no concern that he'll be up with his peer-group when school rolls around.

Frazzled2207 Fri 23-Sep-16 17:46:50

I struggled ttc and thought about giving it a break in novemberish so as to avoid august baby. Husband told me I was being ridiculous, we'd been trying for over a year at that point.

So we ended up with an august baby! He starts school next year and I'm not too worried. I think in all lilkelihood he will be playing catch-up however evidence suggests they mostly catch up

PotteringAlong Fri 23-Sep-16 17:48:07

An August baby is a shed load cheaper childcare wise...

Kaisha02 Fri 23-Sep-16 18:06:21

Is that actually for real? I and others born these months have done just fine...

legfaced Fri 23-Sep-16 18:08:54

Don't be an idiot.

Terramirabilis Fri 23-Sep-16 18:11:19

I know what you mean (although I have an August baby). In my case I'd consider avoiding TTC in March because all the people I've known with birthdays around Christmas hate it because they get completely overshadowed.

MomWobble Fri 23-Sep-16 18:11:34

I have a July baby, and we're ttc another for next year. I would actively try not to conceive a Sept-Jan due baby, personally. An extra year of childcare costs, no thanks! And definitely don't want a Christmas / New Year baby either.

Igotboredofmyotherusername Fri 23-Sep-16 18:15:31

You're aware, I assume, that sometimes due-September babies, or even due-October babies, could possibly be born in July or August?

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Fri 23-Sep-16 18:15:44

Haha I'm a little bit with you OP.
We have been thinking about starting trying for DC2 but for several reasons (don't flame me!) we're going to wait to start trying until the new year. DH has a wonderful lovely nephew who is August born, he is very small for his age and has struggled at school.
I should add that I am summer born and have been fine academically and am tall so unlikely to have a teeny child, but it kind of factored into our decision.
If it takes a long time we won't stop trying to avoid a summer born though, this is not a make or break thing for us.

whinetasting Fri 23-Sep-16 18:20:44

Everyone always knows someone/ is someone who has been just fine being a summer baby. However the vast number of studies with supporting statistics indicate that whilst some individual children may thrive, overall summer babies are statistically disadvantaged.
My cousin teaches reception/ infants and actually stopped trying to conceive in Sept- Dec. She had time on her side though....

MoonlightMojitos Fri 23-Sep-16 18:27:43

Wow some people are so rude! As I said before... each to their own and it depends how you feel about it. I have numerous reasons for not wanting a summer baby, plus reasons for not wanting to be very early pregnant in December time. Do what makes you happy!

Several people have said a summer baby would be one less year paying for childcare but they're presuming you would be paying. 3-4 year olds get 15 hours free a week in nursery anyway.

physicskate Fri 23-Sep-16 19:10:48

I'd prefer not to have a July/ August baby as it would not be ideal for maternity leave. I'm a teacher, so wouldn't get paid for my accrued holidays... Plus I would probably feel inclined to go back after 6 months rather than a September baby would mean I would stay off till June and then have the summer to look forward to - 12 months leave but 'only' 9/10 months mat pay (or lack thereof). But honestly, after quite a few months ttc, I just want it to happen already!

Wish me luck I test in the morning (12 dpo)!!!

Leopard12 Fri 23-Sep-16 19:23:07

I'm actually thinking of aiming for a July baby as Oh is a teacher and can have extra time off if it's in the holidays! I'm an end of August baby and (not boasting) have always been right near the top of my class even in reception

PonkAlert Fri 23-Sep-16 19:43:02

DH was due in September but born in May. DD was due in February but born Christmas Eve.

Horsegirl1 Fri 23-Sep-16 19:44:52

I have a beautiful end of July baby and couldn't imagine avoiding trying for a baby due to school year . I'm flabbergasted people seriously plan things this way

Horsegirl1 Fri 23-Sep-16 19:46:26

Oh and she is thriving at school and has just gone into year 1. Yes she has only just turned 5 and some are 6 all ready but she is managing fine and above average in areas.

T0ddlerSlave Fri 23-Sep-16 19:48:55

Thanks for the split of opinions, lots to consider. Yes I am for real, I've done my research on how summer born children manage, and i was May born and hated always being one of the last to do things (parties, drive etc).

Having an extra year of childcare to pay isn't a big deal in the great scheme of things and I'm well aware lots of children buck the trend and do well.

Haven't decided yet, and yes having a December baby is probably not ideal either.

ATM I just feel like my body could do with with a month or two respite to get over the miscarriage, so why not one more to avoid Aug.

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